#broadway fake texts

[disgruntledkittenface]

i'm going out tonight (3.8k, M) | Established Relationship, Karaoke, Dancing, Semi-Public Sex

call me any, anytime (2.2k, E) | Canon Compliant, Exes to Lovers, Masturbation, FaceTime, Hopeful Ending

pretty please? (3.4k, E) | Girl Direction, Established Relationship, BDSM, Daddy Kink, Paddling

Red (4.3k, E) | Exes to Lovers, Angst with a Happy Ending, Swiftie Louis, Explicit Sexual Content

Suddenly Last Summer (44k, E) | Rich Louis, Strangers to Lovers, Mystery Elements, Open/Ambiguous Ending

routine surveillance (2.6k, E) | Dark Harry, Voyeurism, Masturbation, Open/Ambiguous Ending

when we're finished saying nothing (3.3k, M) | Girl Direction, Alpha/Alpha, Established Relationship, Nesting, Knotting

I Choose You (3.6k, NR) | Accountant Louis, Established Relationship, Domestic Fluff, No Smut

something to dream about (100 words, M) | Girl Direction, Drabble, Established Relationship, Implied Sexual Content

baby, you're the end of june (13.6k, E) | Alpha Harry, Omega Louis, Advertising AU, Accidental Courting, Friends to Lovers

Darling, so it goes (195k, E) | Royal AU, Famous/Famous, Falling in Love, Developing Relationship

subverting expectations (2.7k, M) | Girl Direction, Met Gala, Strangers to Lovers, Daddy Kink

comfort (666 words, NR) | Established Relationship, Grief/Mourning, Pick Someone Supportive, Halloween

this is my jam (4.5k, M) | Bathhouse AU, 90s AU, Strangers to Lovers, Exhibitionism, Hopeful Ending

making my way downtown (2k, M) | Dramatic Harry, Texting, Masturbation

pink like the paradise found (18.4k, M) | Girl Direction, Bartender Louis, Flirting, First Time

dream lover (5k, M) | Girl Direction, Real Housewives of New York AU, Flirting, Dirty Talk

face to face at the kitchen table (2k, NR) | Exes to Lovers, Hopeful Ending, No Smut

i must admit i thought i'd like to make you mine (50k, M) | Girl Direction, Fake Relationship, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Wedding Planning

come to me wild and wired (5.4k, E) | Girl Direction, Established Relationship, Fluff and Smut

we should open up (before it's all too much) (43k, M) | Depressed Harry, Vampire Louis, Grief/Mourning, Emotional Hurt/Comfort

just one look (and i fell so hard) (15k, M) | Meet-Cute, Fluff, Flirting, Strangers to Lovers, Broadway

black coffee in bed (3.4k, M) | Girl Direction, Established Relationship, Fluff and Smut

an honest mistake (2k, NR) | Baker Harry, Meet-Cute, Misunderstandings, Fluff, Flirting

please forgive me if my lips quake (1.6k, GA) | Girl Direction, Meet-Cute, Flirting, Fluff

mix it up and down my body (2.5k, M) | Girl Direction, Established Relationship, Smut, Kink Discovery

bambi legs (11.5k, NR) | Girl Direction, Asexual Harry, Coming Out, Fluff, Flirting, First Date, No Smut

you came into my life (57k, M) | Queer Eye AU, Firefighters AU, Coming Out, Pining, Flirting, Fluff and Angst

tell me what you need (2.4k, GA) | Coffeeshop AU, Barista Louis, Fluff, Flirting, No Smut

caught up in your love affair (8k, NR) | Royal AU, Famous/Non-Famous, Established Relationship, Engagement, No Smut

[droughtofapathy]

"Welcome to the Theatre": Diary of a Broadway Baby

Romeo + Juliet

November 4, 2024 | Broadway | Circle in the Square | Evening | Play | Adaptation | 2H 10M

I don't even have it in me to be a Grade A Hater today. But damned if I'm not going to try. I saw this on Monday, and I was miserable for over two hours. The pre-show bass beat seems designed to cultivate the most hostile environment humanly possible. After about ten minutes of intense and oppressive noise, I felt genuinely ill. I don't do loud music. I don't go to screaming concerts. Forty minutes of this pre-show bass had me feeling nauseous, short-of-breath, and incredibly pissed the fuck off. I wore earplugs and still the physical vibrations set my teeth on edge.

The entire show is a quizzical muddling of the text includes nonsensical double-casting choices, aimless and misguided direction, and contrived original music that slots awkwardly into place. This production aims to attract a young audience and succeeds only in showcasing the absolute dregs of theatrical artistry. This tiktok-modeled production is a cesspool of insufferable clip-length moments stuck together with scotch tape and paperclips. Actors do little to embody the characters beyond superficial posturing, instead spending all their energy on humping and grinding on each other (and a big stuffed bear?) at any opportunity. There is little visual distinction between the families because everyone is dressed like sixteen-year-olds going to a club with their fake IDs.

The adaptation goes out of its way to emphasize that Juliet is "not yet fourteen," on multiple occasions, and (presumably) fills the theatre lobby and sparse scenery with arcade-style stuffed bears to symbolize their youth. And yet, the direction is hypersexualized to the extreme. That boy never puts on a proper shirt and the girl spends most of the show in boyshorts and tanktops. Their relationship has been directed to be as sexy and titillating as possible, instead of a sweet and awkward affair between two young teens. Everyone else is groping each other non-stop, but also kind of incel-like. They binge drink, they vape, they sexually assault one another for fun. So like...everyone's horny but no one's fucking. Great. Vulgar for shock-value and little exploration of the tragedies of young love. And of the affair itself, it's largely one-sided. Kit Conner is giving a respectable performance and seems mostly at-ease with Shakespearan text, while Rachel Zegler is truly out-of-her-depth with the language and character. Which is surprising given that she basically did Juliet already once before. The original music she's given is contrived and ill-suited to the plot, but who cares when it fulfills its sole purpose. She gets a song. Woo-hoo. It's not great.

Other nonsensical decisions include having one character goading audiences into a chorus of "We Are Young" immediately after Juliet feigns suicide and her parents (played by the same actor with little distinction beyond stereotyped gender performance that seems more than a little misogynistic) weep over her corpse. Because god forbid young audiences be allowed to sit with a poignant moment. The first half is punctuated every few minutes by that deafening bass and more gyrating choreography for whatever reason. I kept the earplugs in the whole time and it was still too loud.

If we are to assume the only theatrical productions that can attract a young audiences must also be bereft of nuance, drama, and depth, then yeah, okay, sure. The show is right: the youth are fucked.

Verdict: Someone Put This Dumpster Fire Out

A Note on Ratings

[violet--vance]

Some random Ricky head-canons bc I miss him:

Best subject is science & specifically chemistry

Worst subject is history

Pretty reserved & quiet in his own time, but is an introverted-extrovert who fakes it well

Was a lot closer with his mom than his dad pre-divorce - he’s a lot more similar to her than Mike

and that scares him

learned to play piano from his mom who always kept one in the house

but Self-taught on guitar

As children, He + Nini used to ‘put on concerts’ for their parents together. This was usually Nini’s idea but he was always happy to go along with it - she was usually the one singing while he would play accompaniment & occasionally harmonize

Pre-divorce was a straight B/B+ student who could do better (always had a few zeros on homework assignments which brought his grades down). Mid-divorce started getting Cs for a while

Usually does his homework for later classes in homeroom or during lunch. Will let you copy his homework if he actually has it done

Always doodling in margins of his notes & is pretty decent at it

Phone battery is perpetually 20% or lower

Has like 50 unread texts at all times

Insomniac & night owl; will stay up until 4am & sleep in until 2pm without an alarm

Good with kids (unrelated to anything but I also HC Nini is hilariously terrible with kids. Gina’s just as good with kids as Ricky is though)

Good at remembering important dates for his friends—birthdays, test dates coming up, special events, anniversaries, etc

Fav Broadway musical is Beetlejuice

Fav Disney channel musical (excluding the obvious hsm) is Lemonade Mouth

Has lyrics memorized for like every song conceived. Can listen to a song twice & just knows it after that

This only works for songs though, and doesn’t happen for, like, vocabulary or actual school required memorization

I am correct <3

[moveslikeanape]

oh no worries at all! i post a lot and nobody can catch every single post on their dash anyway haha. i'm sorry you were having internet issues, i hope things are working better now.

aww, that's adorable how oliver basically named himself. reminds me that my dad used to have a cat named iam (pronounced the same way as "i'm"), who was named that because when he first got him he asked the cat what his name was, and his meow sounded to my dad like he was saying "iam".

oh yeah, i guess it's true that playing the events and leveling up your cards definitely can get time-consuming, and you need to level them up a lot to win the battles! there are people who post videos of the story on youtube as well as wiki pages that have transcriptions of the text, so that would be another option if you were really interested in the story but couldn't keep up with the game. were there any particular character designs you liked best? i love riddle's, of course, but i also really like idia's design.

yeah, unfortunately my first reaction to moana 2's announcement was confusion because i saw it on twitter, thought "uhh, that's weird, what about the show that's supposed to come out this year? they usually announce movies so much further in advance too", and actually wondered if it was a fake tweet for a second... i was excited about the show but i agree that this has the same vibes as those old direct-to-video sequels, which were very hit or miss. also agree about toy story 4 lol, i basically just remember that they went to a carnival and that's only because woody's dreamlight valley house is a carousel. and i remember the ending, but that's because i wasn't a fan of the ending. in my opion toy story 1-3 were a perfect trilogy.

raya is one of those movies that i feel very mixed on, honestly. i really like raya's personality and character arc, but i always thought the movie had a lot of writing flaws that made the story and its message feel rushed and confusing. i think a big reason why some people like it is because raya and namaari are... very shippable lol, so much that i believe raya's voice actress once said she'd like for them to get together in a sequel. but i agree about the animation being gorgeous!

exactly LOL, and i'm glad for those who did genuinely enjoy wish, but i think even they should be able to admit that it's a flawed movie and that others aren't "anti-disney morons" for criticizing it. a lot of the criticism is coming from people like me who love disney movies and expected better from them, and that's why people are so passionate about creating fanfiction and art based on the ideas shown in the concept art as well. somehow the concept art did a better job of reminding people of the classic disney movies we all love than the actual film did.

i think what i like about the trolls movies is that even though they are a bit cheesy and childish, they just feel very self-aware and fun. they also have some really nice stylized animation where they try to make everything look like it's made from felt/fabric/craft materials in general.

i would absolutely love if disney filmed their musicals and put them on disney+! in general, i've always thought that more broadway musicals should do that for people who can't travel or afford the tickets. also, with princess and the frog i feel like sometimes people forget that a live action remake would have us watching a bunch of CGI animals almost the whole time... i mean, tiana and naveen are frogs for 90% of it and then there's ray and louis too. i'd much rather see how disney could bring it, and the emperor's new groove as well, to the stage.

it's too bad your book didn't seem to mention why they changed terk! do you happen to know if they gave a reason for removing tantor? i imagine it was because they thought having an elephant character was too difficult to pull off, but i agree with you that it would've been really cool to see how they did it.

Internet seems to be all better now, thank you!

Awwww, that's such an adorable story! I love fun cat names like that, especially when they're so unique that no one else could possibly some up with it. Also love cats that have such distinctive meows/sounds.

Ooo, I'll have to look into those videos and wiki pages, thanks for the heads up! As for the designs, I think my favourite is a toss up between Leona and Kalim, although leaning a bit more towards Kalim. I definitely would have an easier feeling about Moana 2 if it weren't coming so fast. I could see how they could maybe do a decent job and make whatever the series would be a decent movie if they dedicated the time to it, but the time between the announcement of the series to it becoming a movie is just way too short, no way this is getting the proper treatment it needs.

Totally agree about the rushed feeling of Raya. The story should be the number 1 focus. You can add fun stuff (jokes, cute characters, etc...) once they story is tied down and if there's room for it, but if you rush the story to fit anything else in, you've just ruined the movie. No matter how visually stunning, it's not going to connect with the audience if the story is struggling.

That's so neat about Trolls, I love animation styles that go for a certain look, and making it look like the world is made of crafting materials is genius! I'm going to have to watch them someday!

Completely agree with you about PATF and ENG... one of the many things that annoyed me with the Lion King remake was calling it live action... it was made to look realistic, but it was still all animated! They really need to stay away from live actioning any mostly animal cast movies. making the animals so photo realistic takes away so much of the heart, its so hard to emotionally connect with the characters story when their facial expression permanently bland/bored.

I didn't see anything about Tantor in it, but then again I only just quickly browsed through it. Someday I'll find time to read it, lol. I'm assuming it was to avoid making an elephant. Would have been neat to see if they had, or maybe they could have made him a different non-gorilla animal (kind of like how the baboons became a giant spider). I'm thinking their focus was too much on the main "wow factor" of the show... the vine swinging/gymnastic elements.

[hedwig-and-th3-angry-1nch]

chapter one, day one.

Ghost was sitting on his bed, watching youtube, and checking instagram. Ghost leads a very boring life, He doesn't do anything special. He's just some dude that works at starbucks. But his friend Kenji texts him. Although he doesn't see it. He's texting his friends on insta. Kenji keeps texting, Some of his texts read:Dude, I see your online on insta. - 2:17 PMMf reply to my texts, I have something important to tell you! - 2:18 PMGhostie! - 2:22 PMUgh did you die? - 2:39 PMIm coming over. - 2:40 PMAnd that's when Ghost hears the knock at his door. He goes to answer it, he's in a baggy beetlejuice shirt, his room is filled with CDs, Vinyl records, beetlejuice merch, Mainly musical merch. His roof is covered in Playbills. He actually met Kholby Wardell, Alex Brightman, Emily Rhom and Tiffany Tatreau. Ghost has been to over one hundred Broadway and off broadway musicals. His favorite musical is beetlejuice. So he painted his Nails black and green, And his hair is black and white/ platinum blonde. He’s actually been in a few musicals. In his School's production of Beetlejuice he was Beetlejuice himself. So, when Ghost answers the door Kenji looks at him, his bright blue hair covering his green eyes, he's wearing a white shirt and a beige sweater and green cargo pants.“Dude, did you not get my texts?!” Kenji shouts, moving his face closer to Ghost’s. This causes ghost to blush. He quickly responds with;“I was doing something, what are you? Obsessed with me?” That question causes Kenji to blush and pull his face away from Ghost’s“Well, no I’m no I just have something really important to tell you! Can I come in?” Kenji asks. Letting himself inside.“Kenji, what are you doing?!” Ghost shouts, but Kenji lays on Ghost's black bedspread, with black pillows and a black bed frame. “Dude, get out!” Ghost shouts. But Kenji sits up on the bed, Kenji's Green eyes meet Ghost’s gray eyes.“Ghostie! I got a boyfriend!” Kenji smiles, he's beaming, but Ghost's heart sinks, like a dagger was stabbed through this heart. Like his heart was being clawed at. Ghost puts on a fake smile so he can please Kenji.“Oh- cool- cool..” Ghost says, voice cracking. But Kenji doesn't hear it.“His name is James, he's 5 '11, gray eyes, black and white hair. He Loves beetlejuice, and musicals, he dresses like an e-boy!” As Kenji describes James, ghost releases, James is exactly like him, they dress the same way, like the same things, have the same hair and eye color.

[alsjeblieft-zeg]

289 of 2023

Created by joybucket

I hate having my photo taken. I'm afraid of water. 💦 I'm in a relationship. I'm good with words. ✍️ I love classic movies. I need to start over. I'm easily frustrated. I'm full of ideas that I never execute. I dream of Broadway. 🎭 I love long hair. I don't want to get married. I'm consumed by wanderlust. ✈️ 🌍 I long to move to another country. I'm religious. Self-harm is a part of my past. I've barely seen the world. I just want to survive high school. Everyone underestimates me. I'm always screwing things up. I'm a wallflower. I still have imaginary friends. I blurt out things that only sound good in my head. I'm obsessed with bubble wrap. I get the worst cramps. Jesus saved my life. I try to hard to fit in. I long to live on the edge. I'm unsure about everything. I long for real, long-lasting friendship. I'm loyal. I have trouble putting my thoughts into words. I'm argumentative. I hate my natural hair. I'm outspoken. I love snuggling with my cat. 🐈 I live for everyone else. I don't want to be just another face in the crowd anymore. I'm sick of faking smiles. I love video games. 🎮 I want a pet dragon. 🐉 I prefer books to movies. 📚 I don't give up. I have a sister. I can't wait to get married. I can't wait to start my own family. I'm staying strong. I'm an open book. I'm mentally dating a celebrity. I don't have real friends. I drink. 🍺 I'm rebellious. I'm a flirt. I do what I want. I have freckles. I live on a farm. 🌾 I love little kids. I don't fit in. I'm not good at expressing my feelings. I miss the life I used to have. I love elephants. 🐘 I'm afraid of love. I push people away. I've had a near-death experience. I'm depressed. I'm not sure what I want. I'm a good friend. I act like a child. I hate my name. I have allergies. 🤧 I get motion sickness. I think of my pets as my children. I love being surrounded by nature. I love turtles. 🐢 I love anime. I tend to ramble. My dog is my best friend. 🐩 I'm pretty sure that there's something wrong with me. I love long car rides. 🚘 I'm the kind of person who uses good grammar, even while texting. 💬 I'm obsessed with Disney. I reach beyond limits. I love our imperfect planet. 🌍 I'm always there for people, even when no one is there for me. I like trying new things. I have trouble putting a book down. 📖 I'm incredibly blessed. I want to make a huge difference in the world. I love musicals. I love snow. ❄️ I love hugging people. I love to paint. 🎨 I love autumn. 🍁 I'm socially awkward. I wish I could play an instrument. I wish animals could talk. I want to forget the past. I've had my heart broken. 💔 I fall for the wrong people. I love mac and cheese.

[dalynfairweathrebaxter]

I’ve been working on AnaSpaceia since I was a sophomore in college, but never made it beyond the first three chapters. I worked on it again for NaNoWriMo2022 and ended up writing 62,806 words. It’s if Broadway’s Anastasia met Star Wars Episode I, and is for anyone who loved Gleb and felt he deserved his happy ending too. It’s a standalone polyamorous YA SciFi novel.

Alt text below:

Alt Text: Six images teasing at Anaspaceia WIP. 

Image 1) Anaspaceia title page. White text on blue stary background with an arm of a galaxy across it. Two crescent moons are above and below the text, facing inward.

Image 2) The same blue starry background. A lighter grey blue square is centered, with four crescent moons facing outward from the corners. Text: FUN THINGS. 1. An Anastasia Retelling Set in Space; 2. One-Sided Enemies to Lovers; 3. Secret Coup; 4. Identity Shenanigans; 5. Runaway Fake Princess; 6. Real Princess as Amnesiac Smuggler; 7. Villain with Daddy Issues in Love With His Targets; 8. Stabby the Roomba (but his name is Vlad the Impaler); 9. Road Trip Across the Stars; 10. Multi POV Between the Three Mains; 11. Endgame Polyamory

Image 3) Previous background repeated. Text: MISTY. Misty is an 18 year old princess. Except she's not actually royalty - she's the orphan girl taken off the streets, surgically altered to look like the missing princess, and raised in the palace by the people who killed the King and Queen ten years earlier. But she's running out of time; she knows the Silent Revolution won't keep her around forever, not when she can ruin everything they've built with one careless word. She's their biggest loose end, and between a planet full of people or one girl, she'll never hold the winning hand. But she knows how to run, how to survive, and exactly where she needs to go. All she needs now is a ship. And a pilot.

Image 4) Previous background repeated. Text: ANWEN. Anwen is a inter-planetary smuggler, and as far as she knows, around 18 years old. After a skull fracture ten years earlier left her with no memory as to who she was, she picked up a new name, age, and friend in the form of Vlad the Impaler, a cleaning bot with a knife taped to him. She left the orphanage that cared for her with nothing but her ship and her bot, making a name for herself as a ruthless and dependable transport for less than legal goods. Now she's back home for the first time in a decade, just in time for the princess to go missing, making things a lot more complicated. She doesn't like home at the best of times, and right now, all she wants is to get away. Fast.

Image 5) Previous background repeated. Text: RION. Rion is the 20 year old son of the High General, the man who successfully carried out a coup with a whole planet none the wiser. He's also the reason the Princess Andresha escaped ten years earlier. The reason Misty was brought in to replace her. Despite that, he'd thought them friends, confidants. Maybe even more, one day, if his dreams came true. But then Misty runs, leaving him behind to pick up the pieces without even a warning. Once again faced with his father's fury, Rion is tasked to quietly track Misty down and return her to the palace before it's too late and she ruins everything, no matter the cost. Even if it means he dies. Even if it means Misty does.

Image 6: Previous background repeated. On top is a moodboard of nine images, all squares. The color theme is gold/orange and blue. Top to Bottom, Left to right: a silhouette of two people with their foreheads touching, the background is soft orange/gold lighting from three and a half visible bulbs hanging on a string, overlayed with an orange outline of the big dipper constellation; a thick gold necklace; an orange and blue tinted view of the milky way galaxy from earth, overlayed with an orange outline of a crescent moon inside radiating sun beams; a girl in a gold ball gown sitting on a blue and gold couch, her hand on her forehead; a close up of a man’s shoulder in an old-fashioned military uniform, the fabric is black and the embroidery and embellishments is gold, overlayed with a gold outline of two hands reaching for each other but not touching, surrounded by stars; midnight blue and gold silky, reflective fabric; a blue and orange galaxy overlayed with an orange outline of the moon; a gold altar in a church with blue walls; two people sitting in front of a fireplace with a fire lit inside, facing each other, overlayed with an orange outline of the Capricornus constellation

[hey-op-just-kill-me]

Waiter: I heard we have a birthday in the house tonight!

Albert: why are you like this?

Race: you get embarrassed and I get free dessert

[ohsokey]

BJ MUA

[vivisona]

legend has it that if you say ‘dear evan hansen, be more chill, heathers and hamilton” three times in front of a mirror, a theatre fan will appear and call you ‘a fake theatre fan’

[all-pacas]

PLEASE tell me more about ratatouille the musical

i cannot even BEGIN to EXPLAIN

basically on tiktok people started joking about ratatouille the musical, a musical that does not exist, as kind of a way for theater people to mess around during covid? right? so they started writing fake songs for this musical, creating fake playbills, people started doing coreography for the songs, costume designers jumped in with pitches, sets were designed, all by users, for a musical that does not exist, so it’s just a really fun exercise in creativity and collaboration, right? it’s funny, but it’s also heartwarming and just exciting to see people coming  together like this, showing off their creativity, taking this seriously, making a broadway musical in minute long videos on the internet.

everyone is having fun, it’s really charming, it’s a bit tongue in cheek but also sincere, just a fun “let’s all make a fake musical” game.

anyway it’s being performed on january first, for real, to raise money for The Actor’s Fund. it exists now. it has been manifested. starring Wayne Brady, Adam Lambert, Ashley Park, Tituss Burgess as Remy, etc. various created-on-tiktok songs will be performed. disney is allowing this to happen. even the playbill is made from a tiktoker’s design. there is a playbill. 

[image described: a banner for ‘ratatouille the tiktok musical’, which is text on a purple background. to the right is a drawing of a fork holding up a bite of ratatouille, shaped to look like a rat. end descrip.]

tiktok has manifested a musical.

[a-supcrmight-blog]

I am hanging in the bathroom at the BIGGEST party of the fall. I can stay right here or disappear and nobody’d even notice at all.

[jazziergin]

hello !! would you have any recs for klaine fics by any chance?

I've only just recently got back into reading fic but here's a few off the top of my head. Hopefully something for everyone here:

Drag Me Headfirst (Fearless) by @spookyklaine. Fake dating and the pining 👌

Head Versus Heart by dizzywhiz. Soft friends to lovers one shot involving a heart monitor.

The First of All Pleasures by @quizasvivamos. Pure filth (affectionate).

It Only Takes A Taste (When It's Something Special) by @hippohead . Fun Broadway!klaine told through texts, social media etc

The Hating Game by anon. Listen we all know this is my go to comfort read with bonus enemies to lovers. Defo check out if you haven't.

Spinning Out by RockItMan. Roommates, friends with benefits. Amazing smut, I'll just say it. New author so show them some love.

Turn Into a Pose by @little-escapist. More fake dating. Delicious slow burn angst. Very good.

Solid Gold by @heartsmadeofbooks. Check the tags for warnings. Very intense but god is it incredible.

[fuckyeah-dragrace]

You’re Everything and More

So here is the aforementioned Jankie! I didn’t expect so many of you guys to want this but I’m more than happy to provide.

Anyways I hope you all enjoy!

————

If people were to describe Jan, they would always say that she was the perfect girl for anything. She gave a hundred percent into everything she did, no matter what it was. Her peers and teachers could always rely on her. She could light up a room with her smile. She was the shining star that everyone could see.

It had started during her theatre class. They were just going over lines and Jan played her part flawlessly, even getting a thumbs up from her friend Trixie as she stepped off the tiny stage. As she walked to her seat, she noticed eye rolls and annoyed looks from her class mates. She shook them off and sat next to her pink clad friend. A couple of girls behind her giggled and Jan resisted the urge to crane her neck around and tell them off.

“God she’s too much.” One whispered. Their friend snickered.

“Totally. Like doesn’t she know when to stop?” The friends giggled together and Jan sat up straight with her eyes focusing forward. Whatever, who cares what they think.

Her professor started to assign roles for their next class and Jan was the first to volunteer for the lead, handing flying up. She heard the girls behind her groan and Jan lowered her hand slightly. Her professor, Mrs. Minj noticed as she was scribbling names into a list.

“Miss Sport? Would you like the role?” Professor Minj asked, her tiny glasses sitting perfectly on the edge of her nose.

“Uhh no-no I’m alright professor.” Jan said, shrinking back into her chair. The girls behind her faked shock and surprise, gasping loudly and giggling.

“Little miss Broadway Star Jan doesn’t want to be the lead? Who would’ve thought this day would come.” One said, loud enough for Jan to hear, her voice sickeningly sweet and mocking. The hair on the back of her neck stood up as the feeling of cold water dripped down her spine. Jan tightened her hand into a fist and pressed her knuckles hard enough to hear the popping of her bones.

Trixie placed her hand on top of Jans knee. Jan smiled a thankful smile and rose from her seat. The two girls from behind walked in front of Jan and gave her a sneer.

“Attention whore.” They said before disappearing into the crowd of students, leaving Jan stunned and feeling worse than before.

“Don’t listen to them.” Trixie said, standing beside Jan and rubbing their hand up and down her arm. Jan was obviously shaken from her classmates words but she inhaled and placed a shining smile in her lips. They walked out of class discussing random thoughts until Trixie screamed out a laugh and Jan couldn’t help but smile, the sinking feeling of self doubt falling I to the background.

————

The theatre was packed for callbacks and auditions as Jan eagerly waited in her seat. Her phone buzzed as she opened her messages to see a text from her girlfriend, Jackie, wishing her good luck at the audition with plenty of love. She smiled at the message, typing back a thank you with a small Purple Heart.

Trixie was off at her guitar lessons or most likely making out with her Russian studies girlfriend, Katya, so Jan was all alone in the dark theatre. But she still got good luck text from Trixie with a picture of her and Katya giving a thumbs up. Jan smiled and sent a pink heart before closing her phone.

Jan could feel a rush of electrify run through her. This was what Jan loved: the stage, the songs, the performance, everything. She was about to jump from her seat when they called for lead callbacks. This was her chance to get on stage and perform for an audience and not her judgmental classmates. She held her binder close to her chest as the girls were called one by one to a room. She picked out every piece for this audition and couldn’t wait to show them off. She cut, memorized, and practiced for weeks, she even performed for Trixie and Jackie, them both saying she was absolutely amazing and would kill this audition. Jan rocked slightly on her heels as they called more and more numbers, waiting for hers to be called.

Eventually, the group thinned out to just Jan and another girl. They chatted quietly together, having seen each other at previous auditions. They laughed and passed the time listening to peoples auditions through the door, giggling at the song selections. The girls name was called and she waved good bye, Jan waving back and smiling brightly, wishing her the best of luck as the door closed shut. She stood all alone in the theatre now, appreciating the solace of the dark room. Her purple nails traced the edges of her binder as she began to grow bored.

“Janice Mantione?”

Jan perked up instantly and scanned the room for the voice. A man was standing with a clipboard in hand right in front of the audition room doors. Jan made her way to him and stopped just a few feet away. Her looked at her expectantly and she nodded.

“Yes that’s me.” She said with a smile. The man looked towards her with pity and Jan tried her best not to let it break her smile, keeping her perfect girl mask on tight. He pulled a piece of blue paper out of his folder and handed it face down to Jan. She eyed the paper before grabbing it hesitantly, flipping it over. She had seen these audition critique sheets a thousand times, her name was written in the corner in blocky black print but instead her eyes focused on the red stamp next to it.

Callback- DENIED

Jan felt her heart drop as she looked up at the man. Her body grew cold again as a million questions jumped to the forefront of her mind. She gave an empty stare into her paper. The man pressed his lips together into a thin line before exhaling. “I’m sure you have many questions.”

Pulled from her daze, Jan opened her mouth. “I thought I was accepted for the callback?” She asked in disbelief, trying to make sense of the decision made.

“You were, but the judge decided to revoke the invitation after seeing the other girls. The critiques should explain his decision.” The man said curtly. His expression softened as Jan tried her best to remain calm. The tiny tremors in her hand shook the paper as she looked at the man, dumbfounded. “I know this must be heartbreaking but other opportunities will come, have a good night.” He said robotically before turning and leaving Jan to deal with the emotional fallout.

She stood in place, gripping the paper tightly as she brought her eyes back to the notes, hoping for some sort of mistake or something to justify the near tears she was in. One was boxed in red pen and Jan almost ripped the paper when she read it.

Too much energy, perhaps tone it down.

Jans ears rang as the air from her lungs was sucked out of her. She really was too much, so much so that a complete stranger could tell from just one audition. She shook her head, shoving the paper into her binder and ran out of the theatre.

She felt her mind race and fill with self doubts as she ran down the sidewalk. She thought back to all of the girls in the group, waiting for their names to be called. She felt all of their eyes on her as she pounded the pavement. Their pity soaking into Jan, almost drowning her. Her lungs burned and she had to keep on adjusting her grip on her binder ever few steps but she didn’t care. She just needed to run. She needed to scream, to cry or to shout and she just couldn’t do it.

She slowed down enough to get into her apartment building and ignored the elevator, choosing to run up the stairs instead. Reaching her floor, she leaped up the final stairs and paused briefly to redirect and turn down the carpeted hall. She fumbled with her key before hearing the familiar click and ripped open the door before throwing her binder onto the counter. She slammed the door shut and crumpled to the floor.

————

Jackie was busy all day, even though it was supposed to be her off day. Thankful it was all manageable; small errands and what not. She had texted Jan good luck on her audition earlier and received the response as she was grocery shopping. She smiled as her phone lit up, a picture of Jan in the school library stared back at Jackie as she thanked the store clerk. She sat in her car wondering if she should text Jan and ask if she wanted a ride home but decided against it, thinking she was probably in the middle of her audition. The small bouquet of lavender and roses sat next to her as she drove. She smiled lightly, imagining Jan leaping into her arms as they talk about whatever. She parked and got to their apartment quickly and slid her key into the door and waited for the soft click as she pushed open the door.

“Jan, baby, I’m home!” She called out into the dark apartment. She dropped her key into the purple dish on the counter. She removed her coat and placed the groceries on the table. Something caught her eye as she placed the bouquet down, the plastic crinkling and disturbing the eerie silence in the apartment. Jans audition binder was on the counter, albeit carelessly which was unlike Jan. She saw a wrinkled piece of blue paper sticking out of it and Jackie went to grab it as she heard sniffles from the hallway.

“Jan?” Jackie called out, moving swiftly into the hallway as a sob echoed through the apartment. Jackie felt the hairs on the back of her neck raise as her heart beat quickened. Her mind raced as she walked quickly, head ducking into every room until she stopped in front of their bedroom. Relief washed over her to see her girlfriend alright but worry furrowed her brow as she took in the sight.

Jan sat atop the bed, wrapped in a blanket. She turned to Jackie and wiped her eyes quickly. They were puffy and red from crying. Her cheeks were shining with tear tracks and Jackie could see bits of Jans favorite lilac nail polish picked away at.

“Hey.” She said weakly. Jackie stood in the doorway, hand lightly pressed on the doorframe as she crossed the threshold slowly, as to not startle her girlfriend. She padded gently to the bed and sat across from Jan. Jackie saw in full how wrecked Jan looked and her heart ached at the sight. Jan sniffed again before Jackie spoke.

“Baby are yo-“ Jackie could barely finish before Jan jumped into her arms. Jackie was taken aback but wrapped her arms around the blond girl and let the girl melt into her embrace. Jan sobbed into Jackie’s hair as her body shook.

“Shh, it’s okay baby, I’m here, I’m here.” Jackie said into Jan’s ear as she gently rocked the girl back and forth. Her hands rubbed small circles into the blonds back as she pressed tiny kisses to her brow. They sat their together for what felt like ages; Jan in Jackie’s warm embrace, nestled perfectly between her head and her shoulder, smelling her subtle rose perfume, her tan skin pressed against Jans tear soaked cheek as she whispered sweet words into Jans ear. Jackie tapped against Jans hip thrice before pulling away. Her tan hands traveled up from her back, rubbed her shoulders, and ended at her cheeks, thumbs swiping across the supple flesh every now and then. Jackie’s warm eyes met Jans as she smiled lightly.

“You alright?” She whispered, her face inches away from Jans. Jan nodded hesitantly as her eyes avoided Jackie’s. Jackie tilted her hands up to subtlety force Jan to meet her gaze and raised a brow.

“You know you can tell me anything, right Jannie?” She said before pressings gentle kiss to Jans forehead. Jackie could feel the worry melt against her lips. She pulled away and Jan inhaled before starting.

“Do you… do you think I’m too much?” Jan asked weakly, her eyes focusing on a point far away from her. Jackie shook her head.

“You know better than to ask me this Jannie.” She said with a light tone. She brought one hand down and laced her fingers with Jans and brought the pale hand to her lips before kissing it. “I think you’re the most perfect person in the world.”

Jan let’s a small tear roll down her cheek as she chuckles lightly. Jackie smiles presses another kiss to Jans hand. She dropped her hands and brought them around the blonds waist. She pulls Jan in again but falls against the mattress. Jan giggles lightly as she lands against the grey comforter. Jackie’s heart lifts hearing the soft giggles as they snuggle into the warm fabric. Jackie slots Jans head under her chin and pulls her body closer to Jans. They melt against each other and adjust so perfectly, clicking together like a destined puzzle.

“You’re enough and more Jan.” Jackie says before kissing her crown. Jan relaxes and feels at home. In Jackie’s arms, nothing matters. Not the stupid bitchy girls from class, not the crappy callback. All Jan can feel is Jackie holding her close, her heartbeat echo in her ear, her breath moving her baby hairs and tickling her ears. Jan feels Jackie’s breathing even out and inhales and exhales, releasing all the anger and stress from the day. She looks up at her girlfriend and press a small kiss to the base of her throat before closing her eyes.

“I love you Jacks.”

[allthefilmsiveseenforfree]

Dear Evan Hansen

You may have seen some ~online discourse~ about the film Dear Evan Hansen, an adaptation of the 2016 Broadway musical, and you might have wondered what all the hubbub is about. I mean, it’s a feel good story about a senior in high school, Evan Hansen (Ben Platt), who has some pretty severe anxiety and depression. While trying to fulfill an assignment from his therapist to write a letter to himself, his letter gets picked up by another student, Connor (Colton Ryan) - and later that day, Connor kills himself. Connor’s grieving parents and sister Zoe (Amy Adams, Danny Pino, and Kaitlyn Dever) are desperate to learn more from the boy they think was Connor’s best friend - after all, Connor’s suicide note was a letter addressed to “Dear Evan Hansen.” And, as you can imagine, Evan tells them about the unfortunate mistake and sits with them in their grief as they struggle to pick up the pieces of their lives. 

Just kidding! He lies to them, repeatedly, elaborately, expansively for months, constructing an entire false friendship with Connor that never happened, and ingratiating himself into the wealthy nuclear family he never had, in large part because he wants to get into Zoe’s pants! THIS IS THE PROTAGONIST OF THE STORY. Oh, and it’s a musical so there is a lot of singing and crying and singing WHILE crying and sometimes crying and not singing at all. But the #inspiration, you guys. 

Things I liked:

Pretty much everything but the story and Ben Platt’s performance. The supporting cast is stacked, and all of them do a great job at elevating material scraped directly out of a diaper worn by someone who just chewed their way through a copy of the DSM-5. 

A couple of the songs are damn catchy - “Waving Through a Window” and “You Will Be Found” are standouts for a reason - and here’s the thing, Platt sings them well. But as you’ll discover, there’s a lot more to a movie musical than just singing your part. 

Stephen Chbosky, the man behind every deep thought I and a lot of people in my generation had in 2006 after he wrote The Perks of Being a Wallflower, is a pretty good director. I particularly enjoyed the fanvid-type cuts in “Waving Through a Window” in conjunction with the lyrics, and his use of interstitial shots to flashbacks (and sometimes flashforwards!) is a neat little bit of shorthand that I thought was used sparingly enough to be effective. 

Amy Fucking Adams. She’s holding on so hard, so desperately to the idea of who her son could have been, rather than the reality of who he was, and she is full of such deep pain that is masked by an almost endless supply of patience with Evan and relentless positivity. All this made me want was Enchanted 2 even worse than I already did. 

Super into everything Zoe wears - the costuming department did a great job, and now all I want to do is live in mom jeans and baggy sweaters.

Did I Cry? I teared up a couple of times because I’m not a completely heartless bastard and when Amy Adams offered Evan Connor’s college money, my heart broke for the lie Evan had thrust upon her, and Julianne Moore’s song got me good, because she’s just a single mom to Evan who is doing her goddamn best. 

Things I hated more than the time I dropped a frozen gallon container of fruit cocktail on my pinkie toe in my parents’ garage and it turned black and I thought it was gonna fall off:

Ben Platt is 28 years old. He originated the role of Evan Hansen on Broadway, so in many respects it makes sense that he plays the role in the movie, except for the one kinda sorta important thing where he looks like a wizened old crone standing amongst a sea of children doing his best twitching, cringing Hunchback of Notre Dame impression. If you want someone to convincingly play 20 years their junior, hire Paul Rudd. Otherwise, please don’t ask me to believe that this supposed 18-year-old has crow’s feet. 

And that twitching nervous energy is a huge part of the black hole at the center of this film - he’s playing to the cheap seats and walking through the halls of his high school like a wet chihuahua. It’s an excruciating acting choice to watch - he doesn’t just have anxiety, he is on the verge of a nervous breakdown seemingly every second of every day. Like honestly, where is only-mentioned-never-seen Dr. Sherman, because this young man’s meds are NOT WORKING DR. SHERMAN. 

There’s such a lack of self-awareness on behalf of the writing, directing, and performance by Platt. There’s one song, “Sincerely, Me,” that offers the only glimpse of commentary about what Evan is doing, by pointing out the malicious ridiculousness of him writing a series of fake emails as proof of his and Connor’s friendship. 

Also what high schoolers email this much?? I know this was written in probably 2014 or so, but has a bitch never heard of a text? Even a DM? This whole plot is constructed around the premise that high schoolers are just constantly, constantly emailing each other. 

Everything - and I mean EV-ER-Y-THING - about Evan’s relationship with Zoe is so creepy and disturbing that with a soundtrack change, this could easily be a horror movie. He attempts to get her to like him by describing to her all the things her brother noticed about her - oh wait, I’m sorry, all the things HE noticed about her while he was skulking in the shadows following her around for years, watching every move she made, and it ends with him singing repeatedly “I LOVE YOU” because following a girl around and never having a conversation with her or knowing her at all is love, right? This was clearly written by the same people who chose “Every Breath You Take” as their wedding song because Sting is hot and they never actually listened to the damn words. 

And it gets about 10 billion times worse when Zoe goes to Evan’s house alone, takes him up to his room, and sings “I don’t need reasons to want you” and that was the moment I was that person I hate in a movie theater and I pulled out my phone to Google who wrote the music and lyrics to the musical (we were in the back row of the theater no one was behind me THIS WAS AN OUTRAGE EMERGENCY) and of motherfucking course it was written by Benj Pasek and Justin Paul, 2 men who heard about meeting an actual human woman from a friend one time but otherwise are unfamiliar with the concept. 

Lastly, enormous serial killer vibes from Evan sending unlabeled flash drives anonymously through the mail with no note in an attempt to right his wrongs. That’s not catharsis, that’s how the next installment in the Saw franchise starts, with Evan in a Billy the clown doll mask showing up on the screen and asking if you want to play a fucking game. 

Also, I know it’s not possible for the narrative to justify this in a way that could be satisfying based on Evan’s actions, but what is with this thing where single working-class mom Julianne Moore is turning down rich people’s money for Evan to go to college? Like, obviously we can’t have that happen in the movie but in real life, fuck your pride! Take those rich people’s money!

I also know how movies work but nothing annoys me more than a giant group of high schoolers all getting beeps and boops to indicate text notifications all at the same time because I don’t know a single person under the age of 55 who keeps their ringer on. That shit is on vibrate AT MOST, and I feel like that’s a millennial thing. 

The emotional climax of the film is obviously Evan’s WAY TOO LATE confession, but the idea that it’s prompted by Connor’s family suddenly getting a lot of internet hate is, frankly, laughable. If Sandy Hook taught me one thing, it is that no tragedy is immune from trolls who live only to cause other people devastating emotional pain on the internet. That shit starts day 1. Apparently no one involved in this production has ever been on Twitter?

Also it feels like there should have been a dog somewhere in this movie and there was no dog, so points off for that too. 

Perhaps Dear Evan Hansen isn’t nearly as deep as it aspires to be. Perhaps it’s a morality play, a simplistic message of “Don’t lie, kids, lying is bad!” Major studio movies wrap themselves up with a nice bow at the end so everyone can feel good about themselves and leave with a happy ending, but the moronic cruelty on display here makes that feat feel impossible. We’re left with Evan in an orchard, reading Connor’s favorite books and staring into the big blue sky with all the self-actualization he’s earned now as a lil treat. And if Evan Hansen looked like an actual 18-year-old, it would be a lot easier to extend more empathy to him and his not-fully-developed prefrontal cortex, but it’s a little harder with this fully-grown, weathered man who was old enough to remember seeing Liar Liar in theaters. 

Dear Evan Hansen, 

Get some actual help and a haircut and maybe you can grow up enough to have an actual healthy interaction with any other living person, ever.

Sincerely, 

Me

If you liked this review, please consider reblogging or subscribing to my Patreon! For as low as $1, you can access bonus content and movie reviews, or even request that I review any movie of your choice.

[redheadgleekfic]

these inconvenient fireworks - chapter 3

Title: these inconvenient fireworks Fandom: glee Link: FF.net (T rated version). AO3. Warnings: None apply. Rating: Mature to explicit. Pairings: Kurt Hummel/Blaine Anderson, very slight Kurt/Adam at the beginning.

Thanks to @snarkyhag, @wowbright, and @slowcookedwriting for their handholding, cheerleading, and betaing of this fic. This fic really did require a village.

Written for the @fandomtrumpshate 2020 charity auction for @sunshineoptimismandangels. Completed as part of the @wipbigbang project.

Summary: After an unexpected Tony award, Kurt Hummel is Broadway's hottest up and coming star, which comes with expectations and some admirers that won't take a hint. When his best friend Elliott Gilbert suggests that they pretend to fake-date to get the leeches to back off, Kurt takes him up on the idea. It's all working out great - until Kurt starts to fall hard for dark-haired music director of his latest musical.

Read the second chapter on AO3, the completed (but censored) fic on FF.net, or click below to continue reading on tumblr.

*

Chapter 3

Kurt slides into the booth with a groan, picking up the pot of coffee before he even takes off his scarf. His friends watch in amusement as he adds a heaping scoop of sugar and tops it with cream. Usually he takes his coffee just black, but after his day…

Dani takes the sugar away as he eyes the canister again. “Rough day?” she asks in sympathy.

“The worst,” he laments to his friends as he takes a cautious sip and allows his wired body to fully relax into the booth. Two years into his employment, he convinced Gunther to invest in premium roasted coffee sourced from a local shop. It may be too late in the day for coffee and too early for alcohol, but Kurt doesn’t care for social norms today.

A young waitress appears like magic at his side and he takes in another gulp before ordering. “A sunshine omelet with chicken sausage on the side and a Bloody Mary.” He’s been coming to the Spotlight Diner since he worked here as a waiter in college, surviving on tips and random performances on the piano, and their 24-hour brunch menu is hard to resist.

“Oh, that’s right!” Elliott responds. “Rehearsals started today for your new play.”

“They officially started last week,” Kurt corrects, “but fucking Brody pulled out of the role on Thursday.”

“What?”

“It’s been fucking shitstorm since then, let me tell you.”

“He just quit?”

“I’m sure somebody suggested that it might damage his fucking pathetic career playing a gay man with someone who is actually gay. He’s always been a talentless hack and I dreaded trying to pretend to be in love with that creeper. But did he have to do it right before rehearsals started?”

“So have they found a replacement?” Elliott probes.

Kurt nods. “Mhmm. They held emergency auditions this weekend. I had to come in and do test readings with a dozen different men this weekend.”

“The new guy has to be better.” Dani sips her drink.

“Well, yes. I guess. They hired Adam Crawford. You know, my costar from The Boy From Oz. And," he pauses before admitting, "the guy I slept with after the cast party.”

“Oh! The one you ghosted the next morning.” Elliott smirks.

“I didn’t ghost him. I had things to do the next morning.” Kurt clarifies with a frown.

“You didn’t leave a note.” Elliott points out.

“There was no paper.” Kurt protests. “I wasn’t going to rummage through his things.”

“Or respond to his texts.”

“I didn’t know what to say!” Kurt protests.

“Face it, Hummel, you made no attempt to contact him. You ghosted.”

Kurt slumps against the booth. “You’re right. It was rude. And now I have to work with him again. Every day. Ugh.”

“You had amazing chemistry with him in Oz,” Dani points out.

“We did. And we still do—he was the best one who read for the part by far and he’ll be amazing in the role.”

“I’m sure he’ll forgive you for being a ghosting ass.”

Kurt glares at Elliott. “He already has.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“Because he’s going to ask me out! He wasn’t upset at all when he saw me and he came up to me after rehearsals today and asked if I wanted to do dinner and I had to explain that I was already committed to seeing you two and he was so disappointed that I didn’t invite him along.”

Dani and Elliott exchange a look. “You know, Butt,” Dani says kindly, referring to the nickname she had given him in college. ‘Cute-as-a-button’ had evolved to just ‘Butt’ and the nickname had stuck. “You can invite him along. If you like him, we wouldn’t mind—"

“He fell asleep while he was blowing me, ok?”

Dani gapes. “What?”

“Halfway through, things stopped happening and I looked down and saw him drooling on my balls and not in a good way. My dick was plastered to his cheek.”

The waitress, of course, chooses that moment to deliver their plates of food and Kurt blushes hot at her shocked look. She scuttles away without asking about needing anything else and Kurt groans. He’ll have to double his tip to make up for this one.

Dani and Elliott collapse on each other, howling in laughter.

“No,” Dani gasps, “he didn’t.”

“He did. He felt bad when he woke up and was very attentive afterwards. I suppose I should be proud that my cock-sucking skills are so good that I made him lose consciousness. I’m that good that I blissed him right out.”

“That—" Elliott manages to get out "—should go on your grindr profile.”

Kurt grimaces. “No, thank you. I’m swearing off men for a while.”

“But, Kurt, you liked Adam.” Dani says, still giggling.

Kurt shakes his head emphatically. “Adam is a sweet, kind man. We make incredible coworkers and have irreplaceable chemistry on stage. Where it needs to stay. I don’t want a fling or a romance, especially with somebody that I have to work with every day. I should have never slept with him and because I did, now he’s going to be over-eager and embarrassed every time he sees me. And he’s going to try to prove that he is good in bed which was never the point.”

Dani composes herself, smothering back the laughter. “You need a boyfriend.”

“And you’re not listening.” Kurt snaps, stabbing at a sausage.

“No, no. I mean, a fake boyfriend. A fake boyfriend means that Adam can save face and not feel like your rejection reflects on his … performance.” She snorts. “It would allow you both to return to your professional relationship without his feelings getting hurt.”

Kurt dismisses the idea. “It’d never work. Nobody’s going to believe me unless they see tangible proof. You know how gossip spreads backstage. Kitty will literally follow me home if she thinks that I’m hiding something.”

Elliott shoves a forkful of eggs into his mouth. “I’ll do it.”

“You’ll do what?” Kurt questions.

“I’ll play your boyfriend. I could, what, pick you up from the theater once or twice a week? It’s just one stop away from my apartment. That would be easy enough.”

“What? No. This is a ridiculous suggestion.”

“Tell you what,” Elliott continues, “my guitar needs restringing. You pay for that, and I’ll throw in a ‘babe’ in front of your friends.”

“And what would Chaz say?” Kurt retorts, glad to have the excuse of Elliott’s partner.

“I texted them already.” Elliott holds up his phone. “They said ‘tell Kurt I need him to show me his BJ techniques because I’ve never gotten you to bliss out.”

Kurt sees the waitress scurrying away again in the corner of his eye. Great. He adds more to her mental tip. “Funny. Very funny.”

“I never knew that I was in the company of a master. Teach us your ways, Obi-Wan, you’re our only hope.” Elliott and Dani collapse in giggles again.

“Oh, just stop it, you two.” But he grins despite himself and manages to distract them to other topics of conversation. Despite their best intentions, it’s been too long since they had had an afternoon together and they spend hours at their old greasy spoon hideout catching up and occasionally clapping for the latest performer that interrupts their meal. The food is delicious as always and he manages to mollify the waitress by adding dessert to their meal.

Kurt wraps his light scarf around his neck, feeling much better than he did when he first sat down. Elliott touches his arm as he leaves into the summer evening, cool for the time of year due to the misting rain. “Seriously, Butt. If you need me to pretend so you can smooth things out with Adam, I’m your lover boy.”

Kurt is touched by his concern. Their friendship had been through some rough patches, especially in those first few years as roommates and bandmates, Kurt having to work through some jealousy at the easy way Elliott commandeered the world, while Elliott struggled to understand Kurt’s admittedly prickly exterior. “Thanks for the offer. But Adam and I are both adults and I’m sure we can sort things out without me relying on a fake relationship.”

Elliott claps his shoulder good-naturedly as he and Dani amble off in the opposite direction.

*

Balancing three cups of coffee, Kurt whistles the following morning as he pushes open the stage door and flashes his badge at the security officer. He really does love the early days of rehearsal, when they are all settling into their roles and learning their lines—every day is a fresh discovery into his character, as well as the particular quirks of the cast and crew. So far, especially now that Brody has left the production, he’s pleased with the way that the cast seem to be meshing. He’s excited to actually get up on the stage and start to feel the role of “Brian Collins” settle over him as they make the first markups. He was up early reciting lines as he went through his yoga routine and he’s confident that he can get through the first scenes without additional prompts.

“Morning, Ms. Washington,” he calls out to the woman looming over the stage manager with a clipboard in hand and gives her one of the coffees that he picked up that morning. While Ryan Durphy has not yet visited the set, his assistant Roz Washington has been a daily presence and loudly vocal about achieving Ryan’s vision. Getting on her good graces is vitally important in making this production run smoothly.

She grins at him. “Always good to see some of the younger crowd with some manners on them. See if ya did that, Unique, I wouldn’t be railing you so hard.”

Unique looks far from impressed. “Excuse me? Are you saying that there is something wrong with Unique’s manners?”

Kurt thrusts another coffee into Unique’s hand. “And a coffee for you too, Unique. I’ll meet you on stage in 10.”

He backs away quickly before they can draw them into their bickering. Already he can tell that that friction is going to boil over into drama at some point in the next few weeks and he definitely doesn’t want to get involved in that.

He stores his belongings in the small dressing-room—having a private dressing-room lost its novelty with Oz, but seeing his name on the door still makes him catch his breath—before heading back to the stage. Today they plan to mark up Act One, without the songs and orchestra as the music was still being edited, according to Brad.

Adam hurries across the stage when Kurt spots him. “Kurt! Hello. I brought you a coffee—" He frowns as he notices the cup in Kurt’s hands "—but you apparently already have one.”

“I’m a man of routine.” Kurt smiles, trying to maintain a casual exterior. “Thanks for the offer though.”

“It was no problem, of course.” Adam pauses, “Before we start rehearsals, might I have a word?”

“Of course.” Kurt replies, suppressing an inner sigh. Better to get it out now rather than having it affect their scenes.

“Oh my god! It is you!” A shrill voice echoes across the stage and both men look up to see a small blond man barrel across the stage. “I had hoped that I would get to run into you, but I never dreamed that I would get to work with you every single day, Kurt!” The man giggles excitedly, talking a mile a minute. “Remember me, Chandler Kiehl? I’m your biggest fan, well, I’m sure you’ve had others say that to you, but it’s true in my case. I graduated last year from NYADA last year, just like you, but I haven’t been able to get an audition yet, so I’m doing set work. It’ll get me into the business, they say.”

“Chandler. Hi. It’s nice to see you again.” Kurt manages faintly.

“Is this your first play since Oz? I’ve kept my eye out but I haven’t seen your name anywhere so it must be! And to think, you’ll be originating the role too so you’ll be sure to be getting another Tony this year. Wow.”

“Let’s not get too ahead of ourselves, ok?” He flashes a look at Adam.

“Oh, of course not. But hey, I was wondering, well, maybe we could get dinner together and you could give me some tips? Or coffee. We could start with coffee.” Chandler laughs nervously.

He can only blame the words coming out of his mouth on the panic building in his chest. “I’m- I have a boyfriend.” Both Adam and Chandler recoil and he stutters. “I… It’s new.”

Chandler looks chagrined. “Oh, of course. I only meant it as a professional dinner. Coffee. Nevermind. Really. I, um, had better get back.”

Kurt watches him scuttle away, berating himself for the lie, before turning back to Adam. “So, what was it that you wanted to talk to me about?” He says, overly brightly.

“Nothing important. Just that I look forward to working with you again.” Adam doesn’t meet his eyes. “I left my script in the changing room. I’ll be back.”

“Shit. Shit. Shit.” Kurt groans as he fishes out his cell phone. “Change of plans,” he texts Elliott, “can you meet me here at 6 with your best boyfriend look?”

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