#bro... nuke us. send the nukes!!!!!

[persephozee]

AND THERE IS NO REASON FOR THEM NOT TO SEND ZEKE. ZEKE SPEAKS ELDIAN. THATS WHY HE CAN SPEAK IN TITAN FORM. THATS WHY GRISHA HAS NO LANGUAGE BARRIER WITH THE PARADISIANS. THEY SPEAK ELDIAN.

They had zero reason to keep Zeke in Marley. They had a thousand reasons to send him to Paradis. but they did not.

currently DISTRAUGHT over the fact that Marley chose to send 4 child soldiers with families/parents on the most difficult mission in Marleyan history while keeping 2 warriors in Marley.

1 with a disabled single father

and 1 orphan

because they're the easiest to take advantage of. nobody can protect them.

[izzabela]

Buldak Nightmare - MK1 (2023) Roster x male!reader (scenario fic)

in which your spice tolerance is way above everyone else

a/n: i recently bought a pack of buldak... so iykyk

ship[s]: friendSHIP (get it?)

warning(s): sindel ain't dead hoes, slight character deviations, def. using my own headcanons for some characters

Earthrealm (human reader)

Raiden & Kung Lao

- you're eating with him and Kung Lao after a hard training session with new initiates at the Wu Shi

- to save money, you offer to cook ramyeon for them, an obsession of yours you want to put them on

- in front of them lay bowls of semi-orange ramyeon, with sprinkles of cabbage, green onion, and other stuff that came from the pack

- you tell them "enjoy!" and immediately stuff your face silly with the food

- as much as both loved food, especially Kung Lao, they were nervous. Kung Lao took a whiff and noted the pungent spicy aroma, to which Raiden agreed. However, they didn't want to waste your efforts, so they dove in head first. Kung Lao took a hearty bite while Raiden took the safer route

- regardless, both men are wide-eyed and choking, gasping for air, water, and their souls as the spice hits their tongues

- poor Kung Lao, snot coming out of his nose and the entirety of his face red. Raiden is straight up crying, but he offers a weak smile to make up for his position

- you stop eating and try to help them, but you're sitting idly as they say they can handle it. they take their sweet time, drinking water mid bites and breathing quickly- any strategy to try and make the spiciness go away

- after they're done eating, Raiden's back slouches against the chair, while his best friend is hunched over the table. their faces are red, and remnants of their "episodes" linger: dried tear stains, tissues all over the table and floor, and empty cups signify their victory

- they'll eat this again, for sure, just a little later... in the next century when the tournament happens again

Johnny Cage:

- he's definitely nervous

- he's white, so of course his bland tastebuds couldn't handle the heat

- he looks at you with his signature, flashy smile, but you can see the way his eyes dart left and right, away from the bowl

- he came from a poor town, so poor that even Maruchan noodles were a luxury to him. Stardom allowed him access to all sorts of services and foods, but this was put of his professional scope. His ego wouldn't let him lose to you though, so he tried to match your pace and shoved an equal amount of noodles in his mouth

- at first bite, he's down for the count

- your favorite token white boy is legit howling in pain over the spiciness of the buldak

- "I thought you said you had this before?" you asked.

- he's blowing his nose over how spicy the noodles are, "I went to Korea... once!" he annunciates with his pointer finger in the air

- still, his pride won't take the loss, so he does his best to finish it all through tears and pathetic male hiccups

- he accidentally got some on his hand, and he rubs his eyes which practically sends him into a seizure

- when he's back in the real world, he pushes his bowl to you as he watches you down the spicy nuke of food down with a joyful smile

- as much as he values your friendship, he will not be doing this again

Kenshi Takahashi:

- while he doesn't show it, he loves his friends. So much so he'd put himself in a position like this to make you happy, even if he hates spicy noodles

- he definitely would stick to how normal instant ramen is: simple, savory, and safe, and not the abomination that you placed in front of him. Though he no longer can view colors, the smell is what begins his growing fear. An artificial, spicy, and a unique smell entered his nose, and he remembers a brief memory

- he remembers going to South Korea once, for business of course, but he never got to try the food due to his mission at the time. Of course you had to put him on it, and he was slowly beginning to regret it

- "Are you sure this is safe?" he said, his brows upturned as his red bandana covers his marred eyes. You look at him with concern, "Safe? Korean food is as safe as it gets!"

- he doesn't want to make you sad though. He watches you carefully, his teal vision showing you slurping the food with a bright smile on your chiseled face. Quickly, he slurps up the food to get over it quickly

- no, dearest reader, he doesn't get it over with until a whole three hours later

- his diet was strict, ex-yakuza habits still going strong, but it's also due to him being a special agent for the OIA and an Earthrealm champion

- because he no longer has eyes, he simply sweats, shouts, and swears- a lot. he does it so much the police were called on you both for fear of "abuse" (it was abuse if his mouth)

- at the end of the night, you felt so bad that you did the dishes and cleaned up his kitchen, but he says he had a great evening.

- "Just... choose a different brand," he said with a lopsided smirk

Ashrah:

- she's eager to try new things, since being able to leave the Netherrealm, and this was no exception

- you knew she had history with heat, being from the Netherrealm and such, but you didn't know if that applied to food. When you mentioned to Ashrah about your favorite spicy ramyeon, she was curious and down to try it. So, with the monks permission, you were allowed to cook in the kitchen and prepare the lovely dinner you promised your friend

- in the dormitories of the Wu Shi Academy, you both slurped up the noodles with ease and joy

- "Seems you enjoy the burn," you remark, her cheeks full of ramyeon as she stops mid-chew

- she covers her mouth, "I am no stranger to the heat, my dearest friend," she said simply as she took more noodles in

- Ashrah takes momentary breaks, though, in order to actually digest the food. As she finished her food, she also took small sips of water, said it was to "help her digest quickly". You believed her, though

- as she said, her goal to purify herself makes her human, but she was still exploring what "being human" really meant

- when you're both done, she smiles happily and thanks you for going to such lengths to befriend her

- "We have to get Sareena to try!" you exclaim, though Ashrah looks a bit hesitant

- a conversation for another time perhaps

Syzoth:

- he legit cannot stomach any form of human food, but that doesn't mean he's off the hook from your cooking

- being the Empress's Emissary meant great benefits, and access to the palace was one of them

- he invited you under the friendly (and watchful) eyes of Mileena, Tanya, and Kitana, so he could eat with you

- "What... is that?" he questions, "The ominously deep red sauce..."

- you smile, offering it to him. He says yes mistakenly, and you smother it all over his fried bugs galore

- he takes a relatively small bite, but it's not enough to keep him from throwing up and howling in pain.

- the three women were on high alert, ready to apprehend you, but he musters out a "no" to stop them

- you're by his side as he vomits his famous green goo, plus the remnants of the bugs he ate

- after getting him to a healer and medic, you get an earful from Empress Mileena and her sister, and Syzoth tries his best to stop them

- even after all that, he still wants to eat with you (just, not your food)

Kuai Liang & Tomas (plus Harumi & Hanzo):

- he, Harumi, Hanzo, and Tomas all sit together in the compound's eating area, the bowl of ramyeon in their hands

- you tell them to dig in, and you immediately slurp the unfathomably spicy noodles up with ease

- Tomas and Hanzo follow suit, but their confidence is cut short when the burning pain of the artificial spice hits their vanilla tongues

- Tomas was from the Czech Republic, so spice like this was unheard of. His European genes were getting the better of him, and it's evident through how much smoke is being emitted off his body

- Kuai is hesitant, but Harumi's soft voice pulls him through, "Together on three?"

- he and his wife eat it at the same time, and they are met with the same fate

- due to his own magic, Kuai's body becomes exceedingly temperate as the effects of the spice get to him. He's sweating profusely, and the metal chopsticks in his hand begin to warm

- poor Harumi, though, she's completely sprawled out on the tatami floor, fanning her mouth and kicking her legs in the air

- they don't even bother finishing their plates, which prompts you to eat more and finish for the rest of them

- both brothers are embarrassed, ashamed that you wasted your time for "men who couldn't even honor their word" (Kuai Liang's words), but you don't mind

- you simply ask, "next time?" and they look at each other nervously, Tomas's brows crinkling with anxiety

- "Of course," Kuai Liang says, "Why ever not?"

- you were gonna hold them to it, and Kuai Liang's conscious slaps him for that

Bi Han (plus Cyrax & Sektor):

- Bi Han knows your games, but he was certainly not expecting this

- after a mission in South Korea, you offered your culinary expertise to make some ramen, well, "ramyeon" for him, Cyrax, and Sektor. You had gotten it from a convenience store in the country, wanting to take a souvenir from the beautiful nation

- being part of his inner circle, he let you work your magic and cook up the ramyeon for him and friends. The kitchen was in close proximity to the office you all were going to eat in, and immediately all three men were worried when the smell of the food came to assault their noses. Bi Han especially, his worried face including an obviously upturned eyebrow

- when you bring out the huge pot of ramyeon, all of the men were even more appalled by the look of the food. brightly colored orange, it was clear that the spice wasn't the only thing going to kill them

- they were emboldened when they saw you put some in your bowl and eat it happily, but they weren't aware of your inhumane spice tolerance. Cyrax and Sektor ate some rather confidently, while Bi Han slurped up a max of five noodles.

- the poor men were losing their minds: Cyrax downing the tea prepped by one of the handmaidens of the palace compound, Sektor's head down on the table as he tried to compose himself, and Bi Han trying to keep his cryo magic under control

- Bi Han knew it could become out of hand, so he ran from the table in record time, also leaving a trail of ice. You noted that the man's chopsticks were covered in jagged crystals of ice, and his seat was covered in a layer of frost

- you stop eating and try to help your comrades, but they insist they thug this one out. Unfortunately, Cyrax taps out and heads to the kitchen for water, while Sektor pushes his bowl back with a sad smile on his face. You immediately clean up the food, trying to keep the mood up by making jokes on how they performed well and survived

- Bi Han comes back finally, but his hair slightly glossy as some strands stick to his face and forehead. He brushes it off, saying he got some snow on him, but you knew better. Still, you do not press further as you continue cleaning up, however he also comes to your side to help.

- "No more of this," he huffs out his order, "Effective immediately."

- you sigh sadly, not wanting to anger your Grandmaster anymore

Liu Kang & Geras:

- The Fire God was no stranger to heat, he literally commanded it. Your food, though, was on his mind as you presented it to him and Geras

- You were talking with Liu Kang as you strolled the grounds of the Fire Temple. He mentioned something about wanting to eat noodles, so you offered your skills to him. He accepted, of course, wanting to see his dear friend's capabilities

- so much so he even brought Geras in from the Hourglass

- as much as Geras says he does not interact with mortals, he finds your friendship his own personal fixed point in time. He does not mind you talking to him, you also found his sand manipulation fascinating, and he appreciated it greatly by making many a sand sculptures

- you presented the bowls to your friends and told them to dig in. You sat down at the table with them and stuffed your face silly, happily humming as you ate the noodles with eagerness.

- Liu Kang always does his best to keep his facial expressions to a minimum, as humility was his greatest strength. As much as the spice was getting to him, he still kept his composure as he spoke about the interesting flavors

- "I did not realize that much time had passed," he said calmly, drinking his water, "The people of the past would certainly be left awestruck at the creativity of humanity."

- Unsurprising to you, Geras kept eating the food with a straight face. You expected this much from him, being a "fixed" point in time and all, but did it really not illicit any reaction... at all?

- Geras speaks, as if hearing your inner thoughts, "I must admit, there is something peculiar in this food."

- everyone finished without a scream, worry, nor sweat. although, Liu Kang was drinking just a bit more water than usual. when you mentioned wanting to eat again with them, they both smile softly.

- "What are friends for?" Liu Kang said

Outworld (Outworlder reader)

Sindel & Li Mei

- as a dear friend to the crown, Sindel cherished you greatly. So much so that she saw you as the son she never had. Li Mei did as well. She did, after all, train Sindel's daughters, so you were but a child in her vision

- according to Sindel, you also could make a good sovereign if you married one of her daughters (you vehemently declined multiple times)

- tonight, Sindel invited you and Li Mei to the palace to catch up. Sindel also wanted to put your kitchen skills to the test, since she had remembered you mentioning you're a decent chef. She also invited Li Mei, just wanting to catch up with her as well

- the older Outworld women were sitting in the more intimate dining area of the palace, a simple round table with four seats surrounding it. As you finished up the food, the smell of the intoxicating artificial ramen invaded their noses

- "A rather interesting aroma," Sindel noted, "What exactly is it?"

- you shrugged, "A gift from the Earthrealm actor," sitting down across from your friends, "He said that it was a commoner's meal, and I was curious. Besides, he said it had a kick."

- you noted their silent reservations, the older women watching you eat it first. Your eyes are wide with joy, and you keep slurping the noodles Johnny gifted you.

- trusting your joy, they also ate the noodles with the preconceived notion they would also enjoy it. However, both women stood up in horror at the flavors of the food. Orange in appearance, they were under the assumption that it was just the color of the noodles. They were sorely mistaken, though, as the spices choked their airways closed from any air

- your mother-figure was holding her mouth with her hand, elegantly holding the food in as she waved for an Umgadi warrior to take her to the bathroom

- Li Mei was alone in her suffering, clutching to the end of the table as she coughed and hacked, haggardly breathing for oxygen

- you stopped eating as quick as lightning flashed, getting up to help your friends. Wrapping the food, you grabbed water from the kitchen to try and soothe Li Mei's pain, but it didn't do much

- by the time her episode had ended, Sindel came back looking as regal as she did before, as if she didn't feel the effects of the ramyeon (her lips were slightly red, though)

- she announces, "That actor is lucky he is under Lord Liu Kang's protection...."

Kitana & Mileena (ft. Khameleon)

- the sisters looked amongst themselves before they looked back at the hideously orange noodles. Khameleon is also present, face nonchalant as she does her best to do her job

- it's midnight in the luxurious hotel Johnny had set you three up in for the princesses Earthrealm visit. It was sanctioned by Empress Sindel that her daughters build rapport with Lord Liu Kang, plus experience the beautiful world. You were brought along too, since Kitana and Mileena asked for your presence.

- "how did you come across such a delicacy?" Mileena questioned, her sister also with a quizzical brow

- you were introduced to the spicy delicacy on your own trip to this part of the universe by Johnny himself, and ever since then you had stocked up on the food so you'd have enough back in the empire. now that you were back in Earthrealm, it was a good opportunity to stock some more in your pantry and introduce your friends to it

- you shrugged, "Johnny introduced me to it. I think you guys will like it!" you said enthusiastically, digging in your own bowl

- the twin princesses look at each other one more time before nodding, digging into the bowl just as you had done. Unfortunately, they underestimated the spice that was emitted from the noodles

- Kitana's eyes widened, mimicking her mother as she tried to hold the food in her mouth. Tears lined her eyes as she began fanning her face with her hands. Realizing it wasn't enough, she took her real fans out and fanned herself aggressively to relieve her pain

- Mileena, on the other hand, had completely let herself get consumed peppery noodle. Choking, gasping for air, her Tarkat disease got the best of her as her jaw unhinged and large fangs protruded from her mouth

- Tanya was unavailable for this visit, so Khameleon was in charge of administering the medicine for Mileena. Before she could do so, though, Mileena has a couple of words for you

- "Before I kill that pompous actor," she breathed, "You're head will be on a stake!" she lunged at you, but the medicine was administered just in time

- when you four get back to the Empire, Sindel scolds you for putting her daughter in a precarious situation

- but it didn't live up to the fact Mileena was down on her knees begging for your forgiveness

Tanya:

- in a very rare instance, Tanya had a day of rest from the Umgadi and her responsibilities

- also, in a rare instance, she asked you to cook for her the same food that got you in trouble with the empress and her daughters (yes, of course she heard about that incident)

- you placed the finished ramyeon bowls on the small square table in your room, the smell making her face twist in disgust

- "It's so... pungent," she said with conviction, "As if death came itself..."

- you look at her oddly, "I mean, Princess Mileena almost killed me... so I guess you aren't wrong."

- regardless, you smile and dig in, her joining after she offers a prayer to Delia and Argus. She chews slowly, her hand covering her mouth as she tries to decipher how she feels about the taste

- she's definitely feeling the heat, but she's more composed than the entire royal family. Holding the food in her mouth, she swallows her food and takes a good drink of water, offering a smile and her opinions

- "It certainly is... unique in taste, but it isn't entirely awful," she says with her rough voice, "Quite the opposite, in fact"

- you smile at her honesty, "Joy! Please keep eating, there's more in the pot."

- you two continue your meal, talking to each other about your recent life updates and plans for the upcoming days and weeks. You even ask an update on her and princess Mileena's relationship (she was under the impression she kept it well hidden)

- once you both finished, Tanya asked if she could keep the rest of it for herself and the sisters back in the Cenobium, to which you sent her off with a packed up box of it

- she would definitely eat with you again, mentioning that she'd try and get you inside the Cenobium herself

Shang Tsung:

- hiding out in Earth, you stole some food for you and Shang Tsung to eat. in a stroke of luck, you had found some cheap noodles by a convenience store, not taken in and unexpired

- both marked as traitors, war criminals, and villains, you two were on the run to avoid them at all costs, but at this point you two were starving

- as you cooked, you loved the zingy smell that the noodles emitted. Shang Tsung, on the other hand, harboring an obvious contempt

- "Why must we settle for such atrocious fodder?" the sorcerer said with distase

- "We cannot be choosy, Shang Tsung," you said, placing the bowl down on a makeshift table of cardboard boxes. You smooth your pants down and sit on the rickety plastic crates that acted as substitute chairs

- Shang Tsung looked at the food with abhorrence, but watching you chow down with joy (despite the circumstances you were both in) made him take a bite as well. Just a bit smaller, though

- no matter the size, the spice was taller than any threat he had ever faced. he kept the food in his mouth as he stood up, his fist colliding with the wall of the convenience store

- he. was. pissed.

- he tried to wash the flavor down with water, but it was no use. He bit his lip, so much so it began to bleed. You were up from the "chair" to help him, but he grabbed your thick neck with one hand and his other had his cuffed metal claws under your chin

- "Consider yourself lucky I find you useful," he whispered, his sultry voice in your ear. You gulped and nodded, taking his noodles and finishing them yourself

- he was in charge of food for an unseen amount of time as you two were on the run

Quan Chi:

- you and Quan Chi were stuck in a cave, similar to the mines he once worked in, except this time he was awaiting the food that he was promised

- on the run from the imperial army under Kitana's lead, the Umgadi, the Sun Do Police, and the champions of Earthrealm were after you two after they all found about your plots against the empire

- unable to go anywhere, you two holed up in a cave on the other side of a mountain in the desolate area of Outworld. Hungry, you decided to use some magic to heat up some food you had kept on you before you left

- the sharp, pungent smell attacked Quan Chi's nose, which made his face crinkle in pure loathing

- "This is not how I intended for things to go, my friend," his unique voice sounded annoyed as you placed a bowl in his hand

- "Seems to be an ire we both share," you say, equally displeased at the situation. Despite this, you ate the zesty noodles with ease. Quan Chi was hesitant, but ate as well

- "A most astute creation, my friend," he said rather proudly, "Pleasant, even."

- he was keeping up with your spice tolerance, casual dialogue about future plans, how to escape, and more as you both ate. Theonly taking a sip of water at the end of the meal

- by the time you both finished the food, you two were energized and ready for the next course of action

- "Delicious, my friend," he said, "Perhaps the Sisters will enjoy your skills as well."

General Shao & Reiko:

- You had just finished up making some spicy noodles for your general and his second in command. You were a talented chef within the ranks, and equally talented in kombat, but they were interested in the former trait of yours

- so, after training a new set of militants for the day, everyone was due for dinner, but you three separated and went to the general's tent for the meal. All three of you partook in light conversation ranging from potential rank upgrades, battle plans, and even family

- as you cooked, the smell began to invade their noses, with General Shao noting the smell first

- "Interesting smell," the general noted, "Reminds me of a time when I was younger."

- Reiko, though, kept his opinions more reserved, "It is rather... unique. How did you come across this?"

- You smiled, bringing their bowls to them, "The princess mentioned this to me in passing conversation. I had asked her to give me a pack to try it, and it is quite addicting."

- they look at the food in front of them, Reiko picking at the food as you and General Shao ate at the same time. You did not know your superior's lineage, but it is clear he enjoyed the heat it gave in his mouth. he's laughing whole heartedly, and his hand lands on your back with alarming force as he pats it

- Reiko takes one big hearty bite, but he's in a fit of coughs as he gasps for air and water. His face is angry, and his sweat began to wear his eye-makeup down. He groans in pain, setting down the bowl as he runs out the tent. General Shao laughs loudly, commenting on how his second could withstand taking a life versus hot food

- you two finished your bowls, and the General even split Reiko's bowl with you so you could eat more. A comfortable silence befell you two as you ate, and your heads turn to see Reiko back. His face is cleaned up, and he has glasses of water in his hands for everyone in the tent

- "Beverages," he announced gruffly, "For everyone."

- you both thank him and drank, washing down the last remnants of the flavor down your throats. General Shao praises your cooking, saying he will want more to share with the military, but Reiko stays quiet

- "Leave me out of your plans," he said politely, "I wish to partake in nothing regarding this... 'food'."

Rain:

- Rain is quiet as you place the food in front of him. he looks down to see steam rise from the orange-sauce covered noodles, slices of beef and greens on top to add some nutritional value

- he was grateful that you were in defense for his change of heart. In fact, it was enough to let him keep his assets in the empire, the only thing he couldn't do was practice magic again (the deal between the Empress and the Sorcerers Circle)

- "Eternal thanks for you," he says quietly, "It's been a while since I last had a meal with someone."

- you smile at your friend, pulling the chair out from your front to take a seat. His eyes are noticeably more tired than before, guilt and fatigue in his mind. you were the only one in Sindel's court to trust his change of heart, while the intrigue rather scorn you and him for being together- especially after he decimated an entire nation. Everyone, and you meant it, did not trust him nor his words. But, you were the only one to give him a chance

- you watch him pray, offering up to the gods before he dug in with a fork. It surprised you that he ate first, and you conclude it's the tiredness getting to him. When he finally swallows the food, though, he's wide awake

- he cries out, leaving the table and tripping on the way to the kitchen to grab water (if he activates his magic, he will be sought after by the imperial army)

- he cries out to the gods, splashing his face with water over and over and over again until his complaining ceases

- by the time he is calm, he turns to you with the most incredulous face, pointing to the bowl of black magic

- "You willingly consume such foods," he said exasperatedly, "To a degree in which you do not even feel pain?!"

- you nod, and he puts two fingers on the bridge of his nose to express his disappointment and obvious distaste

- he gives the bowl to you, stating he is full by watching you eat

- he'd rather be imprisoned than do that again

Orderrealm (Seido survivor)

Havik (ft. Darius):

- as a follower of Havik and his vision, you did his best to get close to him

- unfortunately, your inability in kombat didn't allow you to join him in the field. That didn't stop you though, and you've found great prestige in the culinary arts

- so much so that Havik and Darius wanted you to cook for them in their conquest of disorder. of course you did, immediately jumping on the opportunity to show your favorite food to him and his partner

- "Before Seido fell," you began as you placed the bowls in their hands, "This was my family's favorite dinner food."

- they looked at you sadly, Havik's contorted face trying to show concern

- "The government kept raising the prices of ingredients, so we settled for this," you take a big bite, smiling at the memories, "It's pretty good! The spice keeps you awake, and it's not all that overpowering."

- both men nod, and they take a bite after hearing your experience under the cruel government

- unfortunately, their pity for you dissipated as quickly as it came, the unbearable spice of the noodles getting to their tongues and throats

- Darius made the mistake of not chewing wholly, while Havik ate the noodles without anything to quench the pain

- Havik's face, being burned off at the jaw and mouth, didn't allow him to chew correctly, so the spice just sat there on his tongue as he writhed and yelled in pain

- "Never again!!" they yelled in unison

Vaternus (Vampire reader)

Nitara:

- you were the exception in all of Vaternus- not being able to stomach humans after becoming immortal. you still ate normal human food, especially your favorite noodles when you were still a human

- you and Nitara ate together, her devouring human flesh as you ate your spicy noodles. She eyes you curiously, a thigh in her hand as you slurped the orange noodle up

- "Odd creature you are," she said dead-panned, "Does that even sustain you?"

- you nod happily, your bowl in her face as you point to the noodles with your fork, "Mhm! You want to try?"

- she's hesitant, the smell getting to her nostrils as she turns from disgust

- "I'll pass..." she says, "The sauce, perhaps I can stomach it."

- You flash a dopey smile, taking the leftover sauce packet and coating the human body part in loads of it, before spreading it out evenly for her to enjoy the taste

- she takes a good, hard, long sniff of the sauce, before taking a fat bite out of the thigh again. She chews thoroughly, getting a feel for the taste before spitting it out in front of you

- she's got a glare on her face, her sharp features even sharper with her disgust

- "Never again, you heathen."

- she tosses the entire part away, letting it rot as she picks up a human arm, relishing in the taste as blood coats her mouth and around it

=====================

notice that nitara's is the shortest (megan fox killed her)

anyways, buldak is not for the weak. i cried so much eating half of my bowl, my dad ate the rest without breaking a sweat

also, i've got a trip this saturday to california! i'm meetin my boyfriend's family, so the requests might be slow, but i'll get to it asap!

that's all! i'll see y'all in the next fic!

[posttexasstressdisorder]

To my tumblr homies...

...and y'all know who y'all are...

Let's hope the coming year isn't nearly as bad as we think it's gonna be.

Something tells me there may be something out of the ordinary happen in this shitshow that we can't see because reasons.

Reasons like doomscroll propaganda, like Yet Another Influx of Bots...pornbots, russian psyop bots. liking posts from 3 or 4 years ago, and following.

Case in point, one I blocked yesterday: seemed to be someone "on our side", with multiple posts generally supportive of the Good Guys, but in their one-page-blog, there was 1) an antimask post, and 2) an antivax post, and 3) a political post basically saying we're doomed.

I'd advise everyone to block all unfamiliar usernames, especially those with obvious pornbot names like "sweetemily98", etc. See unfamiliar usernames in your likes or follows? Nuke-em!

These past ten days away from posting have been odd and rough. One of our number, my brother-from-another-mother in eastern OR called me out of the blue two days after xmas to tell me his wife had passed away that morning. This one hit hard...wonderful lady, he and I have been bros for 25+ years now...the two of them were beyond kind when I went on my big road trip in '13. They loaned me their vanagon to camp in for a week...just wonderful folks. And she made a damn fine breakfast. Please send some love to my bro. He'll know.

As for my situation, I tried to just let myself collapse for a few days. Tried. Downstairs neighbor situation gone DefCon4. Banging/thumping long into the night, and all day. Noxious chemical smells, several different ones, wafting up through the floorboards. Sometimes I wake up with my bronchs completely closed, especially when she uses one particular one.

I am, essentially, being poisoned in my own bed. They refuse to change their behavior, except to maybe bang less loudly. Chemical fumes come up through the floor like they are IN MY BEDROOM.

I did some googlin', and I think I figured out what they're doing: the daughter is probably making fake braids and "weaves" out of synthetic hair. google the dangers of that shit. I'm at wits end. I've had the manager up here a couple times to listen and smell but they always stop what they're doing when he's here...they see him walk up the stairwell.

She came up and screamed lies at my front door, trying to make all the other neighbors think I was the bad guy. She says the noise I hear is "children next door running up and down their livingroom". Bullshit. Bitch responds when I say something loud enough for her to hear: either gets mad and slams it all harder, or takes whatever it is into the bathroom, which is just as bad, and makes worse smells.

A few times she tried to bang softer, but every thump hits me in the kidneys. My PTSD is off the hook. I could not sleep for four straight nights. She went until 3:30 am one night, regularly goes until after 1am. Absolutley unresponsive. Absolutely not taking responsibility for endangering my health. I have asthma. These fumes are literally killing me in my sleep.

She refuses to do this in another part of the apartment, like the living room, or the kitchen where there is a VENTILATION hood, no no no she HAS to do it right under my fucking bed.

I am a nervous fucking wreck. I just re-added up bills for January and now I am gonna be like $45 short. I put one fucking gallon of gas in my truck, afraid to put more. I will have to only partially pay the Electric bill, I guess.

Living in abject poverty, in what is essentially an un-safe place that costs $2800/mo. And the agency that is trying to find me a roommate said i needed to "lower my price" to $1300/mo, but that won't pay the fucking rent.

I got notified in October that I am on the "waiting list" for a really cool "seniors only" subsidized complex in Berkeley that is on a creek, next to a park, run by a nonprofit org, that will take 1/3 of my SSI as the rent. I might actually be able to...you know, LIVE.

But it may be literally YEARS before I can actually end up there. I went back to the listing, and they say "no previous evictions", so if I finally am evicted for being broke, I won't be able to get into that complex.

I have no idea where i am on the list, I have no idea how many old people would essentially have to die for me to finally get an apartment there. I've been doing my best to just keep repeating a little mantra of "my new address is..." all the way down to the zip code. Over and over. I don't know what the fuck else to do.

The stress of this shit, plus the incoming shitshow that we all know is gonna happen, feels fucking lethal. But I'm a PTSD-stricken, broken old autistic nearly 66 year old man who can't really keep up the energy to "mask" enough to leave the house and get groceries, so what do I know.

I know I woke up screaming from a nightmare this morning.

I feel like I'm being hyper-acutely "Spidey-Sensed" to death. And as I typed that, the thumping from downstairs started in again.

Drums. Drums in the deep. That never stop. I am living in the fucking Chamber of Mazarbul. Literally.

I am gonna wait until tomorrow to start posting "regularly" again. My energy levels are not gonna allow me to do the three radio show posts, I will have to cut it back to one a day. So that brings me to another point:

All the shows are on my archive page.

I made this a week-long poll, to get as many responses as possible before I make a firm decision.

To wrap this post up, thank you to all of y'all who have been so loving and supportive. Y'all are essentially all I got right now.

As we approach this symbolically "new" year, I hope we all wind up in better, safer, more humane circumstances.

Love y'all,

PTSD (aka Mr. Baggins)

[jwonsite]

bro i live in the us which means the tiktok ban here is going through TOMORROW. TELL ME WHY. SOMEBODY HACKED MY FUCKING ACCOUNT. TODAY!!! OF ALL DAYS. AND CHANGED MY EMAIL PHONE NUMBER AND USERNAME SO NOW I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TF TO ACCESS IT BC EVERYTHING IS CHANGED. I HAD SO MUCH SHIT ON THERE IVE HAD THAT ACCOUNT SINCE LIKE 2019. IM GOING TO KMS WHOEVER YOU ARE I AM SENDING A NUKE.

[silliam-billiam]

Spoilers for One Piece post Marineford/Egghead

Hot take, but Monkey D Dragon is a little bitch.

Bro is the ~*Most dangerous criminal in the world*~ but does literally nothing????? Like what does he do??? He abandoned HIS OWN SON because “The child is a weakness” or some shit. M8 it’s been proven time and time again that fighting for something (especially family) MAKES A BETTER CREW

•Whitebeard

•Strawhats

•LITERAL PIRATE KING

“Oh but he just doesn’t have the time to raise a child!”

Okay dragon

Okay

WHAT IS THIS

WHAT IS IT DRAGON

He says he wants to protect Luffy, but then sends him to live with Garp. Hoe that is NOT protection. “Oh he saved them from Smoker and Buggy” you mean the one Marine that actually cares about justice and the pirate they literally already defeated? So you can save him from Smoker but not your Croco ex-wife???? Bitch the lighting saved Luffy, not you.

SPEAKING OF WHICH *Pretend I smack a whiteboard right here*

MARINEFORD

WHERE WERE YOU

I literally looked it up and all I got was Reddit posts like nobody knows. So now I gotta ask, what is more important than Marineford?? Like especially to dragon.

•Iva is there (Fresh out of Impel Down)

•Kuma is there

•Luffy is there

•Whitebeard is there

•Multiple crews are all united to fight the government and broadcasted worldwide (SOUNDS GOOD FOR A REBELLION HMMM???)

•SON OF PIRATE KING

OH YEAH AND ALSO

•EVERY

•SINGLE

•ADMIRAL

DRAGON THIS WAS YOUR ONE CHANCE TO DO AS MUCH DAMAGE PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE TO THE WORLD GOVERNMENT OUTSIDE OF NUKING MARIEJOA. WHERE WERE YOU????

SPEAKING OF DRAGON NOT DOING SHIT.

WHO IS THIS DRAGON. TELL ME

DO YOU REMEMBER HER YOU SWINE????

He really said “Ooooooohh nah we can’t saveeee her because uhhhh she can handle it or whatever”

YOU

DON’T

KNOW

THAT

Kuma, along with everybody else in this entire fucking organization ACTUALLY DOES.

Dragon is the only child of a Marine Vice Admiral, and compared to literally everyone else in the OP world, is extremely privileged. Bro was educated, always fed, and his father had a well respected and stable job. He doesn’t know jack shit about what Celestial Dragons do on the inside. Unless, of course, he *did* know how bad they were from Garp or smth (MEANING HE REFUSED TO SAVE HER KNOWING WHAT THEY’D DO) or unless he had spies in Mariejoa (IN WHICH CASE WHY DID HE NOT SAVE HER??) OR MAYBE HE COULD USE THE ONE PERSON WHO

• CAN TELEPORT ANYWHERE

• KNOWS THE LAYOUT OF MARIEJOA’S SLAVE SYSTEM

• WANTS TO SAVE HER DESPERATELY

MAN IS TAKING LEAPS AND BOUNDS TO ABANDON THIS WOMAN FOR WHAT PURPOSE? ONE OF HIS FRIEND AND ALLIES (Kuma) HAS LOST SOMEBODY VERY IMPORTANT. I’ve seen people make connections with Luffy and Vivi but that’s a whole different thing bcz Luffy both A) wants to save her and B) knows she’s not with celestial dragons.

Now I hate him, post Kuma backstory I hate him more for what he did to my girl. But I also know that a lot of this stuff is still undetermined. Oda has a knack for making me love character within a very small amount of chapters. I’m open to liking this guy, but everything he’s done so far is annoying me to hell. If Iva trusts him, I trust him for now, but DAYM all this guy does is stare East at the kid he abandoned and his maybe dead probably trans ex-wife.

[ly0nstea]

My thoughts on the final special, skip to the end if you just want the review and not my hilarious commentary as i watched

The ringing in armins ears was a very nice touch

Armoured titan continues to do all the heavy lifting

Uh ohhhh

Adding scenes with onyankopon at the fort was nice

Getting to see more of the nine was really nice

Pieck solos fr

Pieck getting got by the tybur warhammer and reiner by porco and marcel is kinda hilarious

Connie solos frrr

MIKASA JUST FUCKING RAPID FIRE 3 THUNDERSPEARS WTF

Dude ymir HATES reiner bringing up his whole past

WHAT REINER DOESNT GET EATEN IN THE MANGA WHAT THE FUCK

Nvm he does i just checked i forgot

HOW IS REINER SO FUCKING INVINCIBLE

Jean forgiving reiner L take jean

SNAKE TITAN

BOOOOO GABI THROW HER OFF

Why is falcos titan green

LETS GOO ANNIE

"Where's Arm- i mean, Pieck" ARUANI ARE SO WINNINGGGGGG

Booooo dont kill eren let him win

The eldians should kill all the marleyans fuck them shoot their asses

THEY HAVE LIGHTNING AND FUCKING BOWS AND ARROWS?????

AND FUCKING SWORDA???? AND AXES

Pieck solos again

PIECK KEEPS SOLOING

Jean does not solo bro please

Mikasa not being able to fuckung speak lmaooo

Fucking gabi tryna shoot the titans dumbass tell her ass levi

Cringe Levi L take stomp them all out he doesnt regret his choice bcuz hr knows erwin wpuldve done the based thing and wiped out humanity outside the walls

Slingshot mikasa we stan

Oopsie

Annie doing parkour off the spine of the titan shes the real mvp

Armin having an out of body experience

Damn armin hates himself, based tbh hes a lil bitch

Fucl yea all thosw bitches and the giraffes getting trampled

YO COLLOSSALS ON THE LAVA THATS SO SICK

Millenia of history getting wiped out only paradis deserves to stand 💪💪💪💪

Zeke building his lil castle

Ey its the explanation

"Being alive means dying eventually" zeke youre not smart please stfu

Baby eren ❤️

Zeke and armin talking about the same thing but seeing entirely different things might genuinely be my favourite image in the entire series holy shit

AND SCYTHES

Bertie boys fighring for the love of his life bros so cucked

Ymir saving reiners life bros so cucked

Fucking gabi and her stupid rifle hate that bitch

Aruani stays winning

Krugers so cool bro

Why does zeke love being naked so much

Zekes always fucking up erens shit man

Cucktoldt is back

Zeke getting to reconcile with grisha was nice

Levi gettjng the fucking brawl sound affect for killimg zeke lmaook

Booooo why didnt the baby get thrown

Imagine being the last guy to fall off that cliff thatd suck ass

Jean finally did something

Reiner continues to fucking carry the entire plan by himself

If only armin used his nuke on more civilians </3 him getting held up was sick asf tho

Gabi got to live and her parents booooo kill them all

LET REINER FUCKING DIE HOLY SHIT

LETS GO ERENS ALIVE ABSOLUTE LEGEND

Boooo the eldians and marleyans are working together L bozos kill the marleyans every man woman and child

How did connie figure that out

Honestly id accepy jean and connie dying if it meant gabis bloodline being ended right now

That was such a nice send off for connie and jean im kine of mad its a fake out tbh

REINER CARRYING ONCE AGAIN

Mikasa stop getting fucking headaches and do your job holy shit

Uh oh cabin time

The why are you crying symmetry oo

Cabin erens a lil bitch

HES SO TALL

ROCK HIS SHIT EREN

Mikasas cut looks so good in this

HE TURNED ARMINS FACE TO RUBBLEEEE

Mikasas such a traitor

WHYD SHE CUT HIS HAIR

Mikasas a necrophiliac and ymirs a voyeur

Child armin looks so mich like a girl in mappas style

Whys he tryna make mikasa the mc in the last chapter 🤡🤡🤡

Eren killed his own mom what a madlad

Get rocked eren

Whys armins face like rhat

Its the "worst manga panel of all time"

A sea of blood thats beautiful

80% not enough it shouldve been 90% with only the 10% on paradis left

"Im sure the hell we went through has happened over and over" i actually dont think this has happened before armin

Gross hes holding hair and teeth

"It was at out feet but you were always looking at the distance" is a very nice allegory for freedom and drive

0/10 armin didnt kiss him as well

Still mad we dont get to see anyone elses converstions with eren, especially floch

Pieck is so unserious

MICHE AND PETRA ON SCREEN LETS GO 10/10 FINALE

gabi on screen 0/10 finale

"Give him a proper burial" his is ass does NOT deserve that

"Prove it" cant prove a negative dumbass this is why marley deserves to die theyre all dumbasses

Ymirs all grown up and is it too early to say—

Erehisu stans are so fucking fuming rn holy shit

JAEGERIST INSIGNIA IS SO FUXKING COOL SHIT

Nicoli on screen 0/10 finale

HITCH ON SCREEN 10/10 FINALE

Reiner please calm down for 2 seconds

ANNIE IN A SUIT SHES SO SMALL I LOVE HER

Levi on screen L YO HIS EYE THOO THATS SICK

Can gabi and falco please fuck off

Paradis looks so pretty

Mikasa never threw away the scarf smh

Love the idea that shiganshina becomes a fucking cyberpunk capital and not just a big city

Anyway all jokes aside, the ending still feels a bit inconsequential seeing that no one dies in the final battle, considering how the rest of the show was. Eren's still a coward and a pussy and his inability to act with decisiveness is the reason shiganshina (and presumably the rest of Paradis) is inevitably destroyed, it also proves the Jaegarists point that no matter what happens theyll never stop trying to wipe out eldians, even centuries after titans are wiped out. Eren lied to the people of Paradis and got them killed so like 8 people could live half decent lives cleaning up his mess, most hollow victory of all time. Over all its like a 7/10 ending, there isnt any other way it really could have ended comsidering the story. The new paradis emblem is so fucming cool tho holy shit. Get Rumbled Stay Humbled.

[mediamonarchy]

https://mediamonarchy.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/20250624_MorningMonarchy.mp3 Download MP3 Logins stolen, video game film fails and rays of re-released light + this day in history w/rich-kid Democrat doxxed political enemies and our song of the day by Jezus Martinez on your #MorningMonarchy for June 24, 2025. Notes/Links: Video: A Midsummer Night’s Stream https://x.com/mediamonarchy/status/1936410000353878466 ♬ Now You Can Stream Monarchy Techno 24/7! ♬ (Audio) https://mediamonarchy.com/techno/ Make one-off PayPal donations of any size to the Monarchy https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/mediamonarchy Buy Monarchy a Coffee With Debit/Credit Cards https://coff.ee/mediamonarchy Donate Crypto to the Monarchy – BTC & BCH Codes Posted! https://mediamonarchy.com/crypto/ Hey @AgentNyla send 500 $Nyla to @mediamonarchy https://x.com/Dburly83/status/1936907827085238701 Video: Congress, Now More Than Ever, We Need Your Cowardice (Audio) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDlDYUl4o6E Marjorie Taylor Greene Warns Trump Entering US Into ‘Nuclear’ World War III https://www.newsweek.com/marjorie-taylor-greene-warns-trump-entering-us-nuclear-world-war-iii-2089538 Explosions ring out in Tehran despite Trump’s order to Israel to stop strikes https://www.reuters.com/world/middle-east/trump-announces-israel-iran-ceasefire-2025-06-23/ Supreme Court allows Trump to swiftly deport certain immigrants to ‘third countries’; The Trump administration sought to overturn a judge’s ruling that imposed a legal process for deporting convicted criminals to places other than their countries of origin https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/supreme-court/supreme-court-allows-trump-deport-certain-immigrants-third-countries-rcna209419 16 Billion Logins Stolen In One of Largest Data Breaches: What To Do Now https://www.newsweek.com/16-billion-logins-stolen-data-breach-apple-facebooks-google-2088231 Video: 16 billion passwords discovered in massive data breach (Audio) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_80K_digho8 M.I.A. – “Safe” ‘Safe’ Ohmni – Jun. 11, 2025 *M.I.A. – “Safe” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-IS46VRxMFo // https://www.albumoftheyear.org/album/1349325-mia-safe.php // “mia passed away in 2015 and everything after is posthumous releases, cmon guys it’s clear this sound is just a corporate guy trying to replicate her greatest songs, rip mia!!!! // Jesus what happened to her creativity???? 😭 It sounds unfinished and sounds like she’s releasing a song for the first time // Who had the worst career decline? M.I.A. or YE?” Plus M.I.A. tagged products: Tin Foil Hat, Ohm Protection Leggings, Full Protection Stealth Poncho. THE FUTURE OF FASHION. ANTI HACKING. ANTI TRACKING. EMF BLOCKING. DATA PROTECTION. ENGINEERED FOR YOUR PROTECTION, by M.I.A. All the comments on Stereoscum are mad, too, bro. “Paper Planes didn’t melt steel towers,” they’re mad she’s a conspiracy realist now, tweeting Corbett documentaries.* After just 12 days, Nintendo is already nuking Switch 2 console accounts for players caught using Mig Flash — popular cartridge allows Switch 1 games on the new console, but users say they’re only using their own ROMs; Affected users are barred from using online services on the console, for now https://www.tomshardware.com/video-games/nintendo/after-just-12-days-nintendo-is-already-nuking-switch-2-consoles-for-players-caught-using-mig-flash-popular-cartridge-allows-switch-1-games-on-the-new-console-but-users-say-theyre-only-using-their-own-roms Search: Cloak & Dagger movie https://search.brave.com/search?q=Cloak+%26+Dagger+movie&summary=1&conversation=2da68727e814864574ab03 Video: (‘Cloak & Dagger’) The 80s Film That Failed Because It Made Video Games Too Terrifying For Kids (Audio) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WcgaqbyQAS8 Tommy McCook & The Upsetters – “Cloak and Dagger” (Audio) ‘Cloak and Dagger’ Rhino – 1973 *Tommy McCook & The Upsetters – “Cloak and Dagger” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GgkqyK_6wxs // https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cloak_&_Dagge...

[askrockandfriends]

Dr. Goh in Smash Bros:

He's a heavy who uses a mix of pro wrestling moves, brutal hand-to-hand combat moves, and gadgets like his weapons and force field. (Think a hybrid Ganondorf/King K. Rool/Mii Gunner/Incineroar.)

Up close, he's a bit on the slower and heavier side, but is a powerhouse in close-quarters combat (think Ganondorf in terms of hitting power).

The Exoskeleton and force field both share his Down-B (a menu lets you choose which to use.) The Exoskeleton can only be used once per match, but grants temporary invincibility for a little while. It wears down over time, causing Goh to be able to take little bits of damage that increase over time before he returns to normal damage intake.

The force field doesn't last as long (about 2 minutes), but grants invincibility in that time. It has to be recharged after before it can be used again.

His melee weapons like his chopsword (used for his Smash attacks, a la Ganondorf) don't need to be recharged, but his ranged weapons like his missiles and Gatling gun do. However, as a trade-off, his ranged weapons pack quite a punch, hitting opponents hard and sending them flying quite far. His minigun (which is weaker, but he can use while walking) and Gatling gun are standard B, while his missiles are his side-B move. (Inspired by Batman's gameplay in Multiversus.)

His jetpack is his Up-B move, and has about the same range as King K. Rool's.

His Final Smash is his portable nuke. After taunting his opponent saying "Present for you!", he presents the sick device which covers the whole screen in a massive explosion that catches both his opponent(s) and himself in it. He, however, survives thanks to the Exoskeleton and regenerates back to his normal appearance with his healing factor.

Post-victory quotes:

"The world will know the greatness of Doctor Goh Yamashita!"

"Stay out of my way, or suffer the consequences!"

*Just stands there cross-armed and laughs at your defeat*

Vs. Rock

"Had enough yet, boy?"

"I'm just getting started with you, boy!"

"Take notes, kids - don't stick your nose where it doesn't belong!"

Vs. Ken

"Shame I must get rid of you, but blame your own bad luck!"

"Now you can appease your parents... by joining them in-"

[fae-morrigan]

Since Tumblr nuked my gorgeous, gorgeous theme (it had a volcano!) Here is my intro post, I guess.

Hi! I'm Milas or Morrigan, I've been here on this website for too goddamn long. I'm 22, I'm white, I'm a genderqueer lesbian. they/them pronouns please (but he/him is fine if we bros).

I post mostly DC content, with a focus on Jayjon, LOSH, and the Superfam in general. I'll also occasionally delve into other fandoms, but right now I'm DEEP into those boys.

I am not a pr0shipper, and I do not support and/or post that kind of content. If you do and want to follow me, go ahead, just don't send me that sort of thing, get me involved with The Discourse, or ask me about it. We've all got better uses of our time and nobody would leave that interaction happy. However if you are specifically into batcest/damijon, best stay clear. That's more a personal no no.

With that said, this blog is 15+. I don't reblog blatantly NSFW content, but I may on occasion like or reblog something suggestive. I also post about whump and dark angst on occasion, but those will be tagged accordingly and usually put beneath a cut. If you need something tagged, please let me know (within reason).

Please be respectful in my DMs and messages! I am just a little guy.

Also bigotry is not welcome here, but I understand some of you are morons and can't read, so- being nasty in my replies, dms, whatever, block block block block block one million knives attack block

If that is all chill with y'all, welcome! here are some of the tags you may peruse to understand my insanity:

Art

Writing

Jayjon

LOSH

Okay bye I'm going to go drink pool water!

[spot-the-antisemitism]

Ok so most of these people give up and reblog scams or get nuked for sending Jews death threats but not this guy, this guy is clearly trolling for a response now and really brings all the kahanists to the yard

Bro could have skimmed blogs to find us saying October 7th bad or something but noooo they find the silliest things

I'm really struggling to understand what or is getting at here?

Like is the point trying to be made that oh these people have weird tastes in food which goes to show just how bad they are in other ways like their political beliefs

Two state fallacy? Um what about Association Fallacy?

[somewhere-over-the-rynbow]

Thoughts while listening to Death Shroud:

SPOILERS AHEAD. Obviously.

�� nicknicknicknicknicknick

• Ellie where are you getting coffee

• what do you put in your coffee???

• “There aren’t many spare parts for you Nick” why can’t you use gen 2 synth parts?

• Goodneighbor? THIS EARLY? MY BITCH IS BACK?!

• HANCOCK HANCOCK HAN- Hancock? HANCOCK!?

• THEY HIT THE FUCKING PENTAGON THIRD RAIL

• HANCOCK!!!!!

• wait why would Nick order a drink

• KENT KENT KENT KENT KENT KENT KENT-

• KENT NO-

• omg canon Nora real???

• Nick stop encouraging Hancock’s chem use

• how the hell are they gonna get Hancock into Diamond City

• cram! It’s meat… mostly!

• DID THEY KILL ELLIE

• thank GOD ellie is safe

• “drab upstairs apartment” lmao they said your interior decorating skills suck nick

• Nick “The Dick” Valentine

• Okay WHO is charlie????

• damn what did the Minutemen do to y’all

• Nick 4 Mayor

• who even is the mayor of Diamond City now

• John “Hold Me Back Nicky!” Valentine Hancock

• that was supposed to say Hancock, but Valentine was accidentally typed and that’s funnier.

• 3/4 families are missing their daily intake of processed powder cheddar? Believable.

• ayo time skip?

• lmao Seth Patrick Day

• OMG REMINISCING ABOUT THE PREWAR GOD I LOVE THIS OLD MAN SO MUCH

• D I M A ! ?

• omg Nick and Nora are besties <3

• OMG ALL THE COMPANIONS HANG OUT!?

• Hancock you’re already back <3

• oh Moe,,,, never stop lying babe

• his source is “i made it the fuck up”

• The Mechanist is back????? Hello???

• salty bitch. can you leave Sole and Co alone like goddamn

• Is the Mechanist a Synth now?

• THE CHILDREN OF ATOM?????

• wait no

• NO

• YOU CANT DO AN AD NOW WHAT

• WHAT ABOUT PIPER??? CAIT???

• I don’t care who Nick Valentine sends, I am NOT eating sugar bombs

• did they fucking nuke Piper

• THEY FUCKING NUKED THEM!?

• NORA!!!!!

• omg Shaun :)

• omg Nick :(

• omg Danse???? Why are you here what

• hdjdjdjd say hi to your big brother Nick, Danse

��� “don’t touch me” lmao

• oh FUCK MACCREADY

• oh no. strong left. that’s… so sad…

• Protective mom Nora!

• NORA AND HANCOCK NORA AND HANCOCK

• I love them all so much oh my god

• this is a fucked up family reunion

• ugh FUCK maxson all my homies hate maxson

• “An old flame” “Seriously? I wanna see how that works” Hancock is asking what we’re all thinking

• bro can Nora have anything

• I can not believe that Hancock and Danse are friends now lol

• lmao don’t rob the vault tec rep

• wait. why didn’t Nora invite him to Sanctuary :(

• HIS NAME IS MACK!?

• god I love you so much Mack

• omg this trio can NOT be good lol (Nora, Hancock, Danse)

• Nora how the fuck is Hancock lifting Danse

• “Danse, scan the building, use infrared vision to pick up vitals” “I don’t have infrared vision” “Really? So much for human 2.0” he’s such a smart ass I love him

• FEV conjoined twins???? Omg that’s so fucking cool

• Hancock, stealing is bad

• Hancock, Florida is bad

• lmao Danse is bitter about Nora taking Nick instead of him haha

• Oh shit they got Lorenzo’s crown? Nora you can’t leave this shit laying around girl

• OMG PSYKERS

• Nora really. You freed Lorenzo??? You dummy

• okay so Hancock and Danse aren’t really friends now lol, they just kinda tolerate each other. Real.

• “No, are you nuts? He’s armored, dual wielding, and you’re wearing a 16th century nightgown!” “You unpatriotic son of a-” “Hush, damn it!” these three are so important to me

• UNITY???? UNITY!? no way they’re doing a Master plot right?

• so is this the same mechanist as in the automatron DLC?

• damn these 3 are agile

• omg not Hancock’s coat!!!!

• oh fuck the silver shroud and mechanist fused

• can we please discuss how fucking disgusting yum yum deviled eggs sound. How the fuck were they preserving eggs. Why would you make prepackaged deviled eggs??? I always thought that was such a weird pick for a food lol

• YO WHY ARE WE AT SANCTUARY

• uh oh. UH OH.

• WHERE IS SHAUN.

• can y’all let Nora have ONE THING god DAMN

• OH THANK GOD CODSWORTH

• I cant believe they canoned Nora and Danse being together,,,, damn

• omg Hancock please don’t traumatize Shaun

• Hancock do NOT give Shaun alcohol oh my god

• THEY KILLED MAMA MURPHY :(

• can they stop killing my favorite old people

• omg I forgot about you Nick lol

• hey Charlie? What the fuck

• DONT FUCKING HUMAN NICK-

• do NOT kill Mack PLEASE

• KELLOGG!???? WHY ARE YOU HERE

• bro can Nora have ANYTHING damn-

• can’t have shit in the commonwealth fr

• AMARI WHAT THE FUCK

• OMG KELLOGG NICK THING IS TIED UP!?

• Mack you are fucking useless (I still love you though)

• why are we talking about puppies what

• oh my god :(

• OH FUCK A BOMB?

• Nick… you fucking plug yourself into computers???? hacker supreme

• omg he’s so robot

• omg Mack you are so papaw

• it’s cre-shendo not cre-sendo

• Nick you are NOT captain america omg

• shit I guess he is captain America

• poor papaw has had such a day let him go home Nick

• “I’m not asking!” DAMN nick

• WHAT. HOW DID HE CALL A CAB.

• HOW DOES HE HAVE A PHONE???? WHAT JUST HAPPENED???? WHAT

• this is so funny what the fuck is happening

• WHY IS EVERYONE ACTING LIKE THIS IS NORMAL WHAT

• YOU CANT CUT TO A VIM AD NOW HUH

• ok it is kinda funny to imagine a salesman in power armor lol

• Huh. Cannibals will eat ghouls. Interesting.

• learn to drive? How? What driving schools are there???

• okay the idea of a cab driver in the commonwealth is so funny. But how the fuck did Jefferson come into existence-

• NICK CAN WALK UNDERWATER????

• WHAT. IS NICK A TIME LORD!?

• WHAT IS HAPPENING. WHAT. NICK. NICK WHAT IS HAPPENING. WHAT ARE YOU DOING.

• WAIT IS 47 THE UNDERWATER VAULT!?

• Mack is so real lol

• HIS NAME IS DAVID DWECKER!? I THOUGHT IT WAS MACK

• omg David my beloved peepaw

• 747683 is not 5 digits Nick

• Champion of Justice???? What?

• WHY WOULD THE CODE BE SHROUD?????

• maybe I’m missing something?????? It is 6 am lol

• I’m sorry, did Nick magic a fucking vault into existence

• CRYOPOD!!!!!! TWO YEARS AGO???? WHAT.

• time to wake up bitch

• NICK STOP MAGICING

• … what? THE SILVER SHROUD!?

• WHAT IS HAPPENING

• but… the shroud… isn’t real… did Nick just create the fucking Silver Shroud?

• it should be 2289, not 2287

• “Same words Hancock uttered after smoking a tire that one time…” huh???? Nick and Hancock hang out lol

• EMOJI???? HOW DO THEY KNOW WHAT EMOJI’S ARE!????

• I’m sorry, I can’t get over Nick Valentine accidentally bringing fucking Batman into existence simply for the drama of it all

• Poor David lol

• How The fuck is Nick gonna explain all this to Nora, Danse, and Hancock

• HOW DOES THE SHROUD KNOW JEFFERSON????

• oh. Ok. That makes sense.

• this is like the world’s strangest fanfiction

• NICK. STOP DOING MAGIC. OH MY GOD.

• WHY ARE NORA AND DANSE HERE. WHO IS DEAD. WHAT.

• WHERE IS HANCOCK!?

• WHY IS THE SHROUD CASUALLY A PART OF THEIR GROUP NOW

• MACCREADY IS DEAD!? WHY IS HE HERE. WHERE DID HE COME FROM.

• Okay, I’m starting to think that Nick managed to get high off Jet or smth

• who is the duke????

• “sociopath science daddy in slacks” What the hell maccready

• “just one more job” thanks. Gonna go sob now

• omg fancy lad snack cakes my beloved

• omg Hancock is in his Robin era

• wow. Just remembered Kent is dead. Devastating

• pay your employees Shroud.

• An old lady, the Silver Shroud, and Hancock get into a cab…

• why is no one questioning this cab

• honestly though. I understand why Hancock isn’t. He probably just thinks he’s hallucinating lol.

• “Fish Lips Malone!” what. is happening. I’m as confused as Hancock is…

• “activate passive aggressive restraint!” What is that????

• Hancock why do you know every criminal.

• “yes indeed my flesh peeling friend!”

• “man I have never seen anyone who needs to be laid more than you do” “finally someone else says it” oh my GOD I love Hancock so much (and Jefferson. Man, do I love Jefferson.)

• “omg Hancock we’ve been waiting for you! Oh… and the shroud’s here, too…” just like me fr

• Is the Silver Shroud an incel…

• THEY MEDUSA’D MAGNOLIA!?

• lmao everyone else hates Johnny Guitar?

• KELLOGG GET THE FUCK OUT.

• Hancock you are REMARKABLY casual about the dead man in your booth

• The Silver Shroud is a short king lol

• why is Kellogg the only one who thinks the shroud being here is weird

• Nora is an “uppity broad” lol

• why are y’all dissing Hancock, leave my man alone-

• Just gotta say… it’s a great day to be a Hancock stan

• THE DUKE IS THE MECHANIST!?

• what. A literal rat faced man? Why does he have 3 arms?

• Hm. They still do beehive hair, huh? I’m kinda impressed

• what do you mean they turned Louie into a mole rat using the creation engine

• “stay low to the ground, my crusty companion!”

• THEY TURNED THE SILVER SHROUD’S GUN INTO A DOG????

• THEY TURNED HANCOCK INTO A STATUE NO-

• how could they do this to me.

• the Silver Shroud can say fuck. Nice

• omg wait

• Hancock is… Hancock’s… he’s…

• he’s stoned

• ba-dum-tsh

• Travis, please don’t sexually harass all of Diamond City

• I’m more than half way through this and I genuinely have no clue what’s going on lol

• omg they legit are using the creation engine huh

• HANCOCK???? YOURE BACK??? WHY DID YOU DRINK GASOLINE!???

• I wanna have tea with god…

• Dr… Satan?

• HAROLD!? WHY ARE YOU HERE????

• Nora 🤝 Harold

never getting to rest

• I think it’s very funny that Hancock is just… back.

• damn they all got stoned

• and the stone is gone again

• what even is the point of the stone lol

• THE MYSTERIOUS STRANGER!?

• OH MY GOD

• OH MY GOD

• OH MY GOD

• THEY KILLED THE MYSTERIOUS STRANGER!?

• who is… showing up…

• WHO IS OBEDIAH BLACKHALL

• Damn. Bye bye Obediah.

• I genuinely can’t remember what started this lmao

• Oh fuck, Kellogg is back…

• omg they broke the scarab!!!

• what do you mean by too many voices

• too many characters??????? WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT

• WHY IS IT JUST NICK AND THE SHROUD VS REALITY

• they are SO remarkably calm

• “see if you can… blind him with some… bullets to the face” yeah that should do it Nick

• “my speed should give me the upper hand” your what Nick

• WHY IS NICK SUPER FAST WHAT

• … they’re summoning bitches now? A Grognak bitch? WHY ARE YOU HERE?

• wait. Nora is the one magicing?

• oh wait. You mean that Nora was the silver shroud for a while. Right? What is happening.

• The Silver Shroud is really good at sticking to his bit lol

• OMG NORA BECAME THE SILVER SHROUD AND CHANGED REALITY?????

• Silver Shroud speed runs an existential crisis

• uh oh

• uh oh

• uh oh

• reality is literally crumbling

• SHEOGORATH!?

• oh fuck Bethesda is crumbling

• GLADOS!?

• THE JOKER!!!!!???

• CLAPTRAP!!!!!!!????

• Poor Nick…

• can you guys stop having relationship issues when I’m on the phone with my dentist

• SNIPER?????

• GLADOS is hitting on Nick Valentine. Yeah. Okay.

• “Thank you, intelligent sociopathic blender!”

• at no point could I have predicted this.

• they gave Nick a portal gun.

• he is opening a portal on the moon.

• they are essentially creating a black hole.

• How The FUCK is Nick supposed to mentally handle all of this

• GLADOS didn’t even get to say goodbye :/

• omg they’re in the creation engine

• OH MY GOD THEY ARE IN TODD HOWARD’S BRAIN????

• Jesus Christ, poor fucking Nick

• Hey, you. You’re finally awake.

• what do you mean it was all a dream

• how did Nick fall asleep

• is everyone alive??????

• wow. Huh. What.

[allronix]

Carth and Force Sensitivity (crossposted from Reddit r/kotor)

This is for @k-she-rambles:

Okay, so while we're shooting the bantha crap over on KOTOR fan theories, u/134340Goat mentioned my all time favorite "Have you been chewing spice?!" fan theory when it comes to KOTOR: Is Carth Force Sensitive?

So this one starts with a story. I mentioned my brother in law, who is pretty much Keeper of the Jedi Archives. Seriously, he's an English teacher and my sister is a librarian. They met at a sci fi convention and their first date was Phantom Menace. We're taking not just geeks, but geeks who can throw the damn bookshelf at you. Brother in law bought KOTOR on the day it launched and turned it into a week long binge watch at his house. And because brother in law is that kind of geek, he's translating the characters into the West End D6 system. I'm watching him do a playthrough, and he's got Canderous and Zaalbar at Ajunta Pal's tomb.

Allronix: Huh. That's odd. Why aren't commenting on anything when Ajunta is speaking?

Bro in law: Oh. They can't even see Ajunta. You have to be Force Sensitive to see a Force Ghost The stronger your Sensitivity, the better you can see it.

Allronix: Really? Then how come Carth can see it?

Bro in law (gets the "holy shit, I gotta confirm this" look): Really?! He just sees something out the corner of his eye or something?

Allronix: No, he sees Ajunta just fine. Understands what the dude's saying too.

Bro in law instantly rolls back to his last save, swaps Zaalbar for Carth, and sees the bit in question.

Bro in law: Oh. Dear. (Goes over to make some quick scribbles on Carth's character sheet)

Okay, so maybe that was a lore fail. I didn't really think about it too much until I hit that False Level Up glitch and ran around with Carth and Mission as Sentinels. Now, while I couldn't really see Mission as a Sensitive, that little bit with my bro in law nagged at me. And became a "once you see it you can't unsee it." Apologies to TV Tropes, where some of these were my additions to the Wild Mass Guess entry on this topic.

Any one of these on its own is pretty easy to blow off. After all, man is career military, and knows All this Shit is Weird. I also like to think of Sensitivity as a spectrum and not a switch. If all life is connected by the Force, then all life would be Sensitive to some degree or another. It’s just a matter of to what degree. It’s only as the list gets longer and longer does the case start looking damning...

What are the odds of surviving that attack on the Endar Spire, getting to the escape pods, sharing the last escape pod with the mindwiped Sith Lord, piloting through the chaos, landing in what passes for the "good" part of town, remaining uninjured, pulling the badly injured mindwiped Sith Lord from the wreck, evading Sith detection while all this is going on, and just happening to find a dump of an apartment where the landlord's not asking questions? That is one amazing string of coincidences and good luck. Get that many in Star Wars, and it's definitely The Force sticking its nose in things.

Piloting the escape pod to land in the Upper City, piloting the Hawk through the Sith Blockade of Taris, the random Sith patrols, the escape from the Leviathan, and the fleet around Lehon along with the crash landing that left the ship easily repairable. Now, compare to Atton who we know to be an excellent pilot and drawing on The Force who still manages to crash the ship at least three times.

He's a scary good judge of character if you're interacting with other NPCs. If you watch him with other NPC characters, he's got a pretty good compass as to which characters are being helpful and which ones are full of shit. The only one he calls incorrectly is Rukil, who is probably also an untrained Sensitive (the age, the "marked" comments) and half senile, which is probably throwing him.

Related to that, his distrust and wariness about something not adding up with the PC, the Jedi Council feeding the party a line of bull, that things just aren't adding up. And on all of it? Dead on. He's 100% right about the Player Character, he just expected something a little less crazy than "that's Darth freaking Revan."

If you play Female Revan, then Carth's the one who gets fried in the torture cages on the Leviathan. Saul comments how strange it is that Carth takes so much punishment and still remains conscious. Now, this is a low level thing, but in lore, Force Sensitives have drawn on it to keep them alive or conscious under duress. Explicitly, the first sign we got that Leia was a Sensitive when she withstood the Imperial torture droid.

Another of his scary ass judge of character feats? In the comics, Zayne (who is on the run from the Jedi, who framed him for the murder of his classmates) has a vision that Mandalorians are coming for Serroco. Saul? Laughs it off, throws Zayne in the brig. Zayne's own friends don't even believe him. Carth gets one of those creepy hunches and starts calling in "duck and cover" sirens as far as he can broadcast, which sends seventeen cities and millions of people heading for shelter. It saves their lives and Carth is called a hero for it. Armed with another hunch, he disobeys Saul (remember this is before Saul nukes Telos) and lets Zayne "escape" from custody. Mind you, not even the Jedi or his party members believed Zayne. Carth did.

Carth makes a lot of creepy weird offhand predictions about the future. He says he knows on some level he'll be there when Saul dies. That certainly pans out. He makes an offhand prediction that the Jedi have set the party up to take a fall. Right again. He tells a female PC that she'll have to make a choice soon, one she can't walk away from. And then we get the temple top. He even blurts out that "I sensed you would have to make a choice soon, and that was it*, I can feel it!"* If you specify a LS Female Revan, his recording for T3-M4 says he's had a hunch Revan would leave without warning. Again, spot on.

Specify a LS male Revan, and Carth will remark to Bastila that seeing the Exile reminds him "there are worse things to lose." The only other people who can see just how screwed up the Exile is are the Jedi Masters, Chodo Habat, and the Force Sensitive party members.

Specify a LS female Revan, and Carth will insist that he would know if Revan were dead (again, scary ass intuition) and that there's an "emptiness" where she used to be. Now, remember one of the things about a broken Force Bond? It would simply be "empty, a wound."

You know how your party members in KOTOR 2 feel upset or even horrified as they realize they feel compelled to protect Exile and can't being themselves to leave, even when said actions are kicking puppies? And how they swing wildly from being crazy, almost stalker level possessive of them to being scared out of their wits and clamming up when you try to pry anything out of them? And the more potent (and untapped) their Force Sensitivity, the more they get hammered with the effect? (Mira and Atton in particular) Yeah. Now, Carth's "I don't wanna talk" looks a bit different, doesn't it? It could also account for that romance arc, especially if you roll a DSF Revan and go for that "everyone dies" ending.

Again, Ajunta Pal. Seeing a Force Ghost? Yeah. Some degree of Sensitivity needed. Understanding what he's saying? Yeah. Takes a bit more than that. And Carth makes a weirdly insightful comment about the Dark Side on top of it.

Notice that this a wall o text argument already, and I'm now just getting to the "Yeah, his kid is able to throw around mid-level Dark Side powers and packing a red lightsaber." Given the jawline and the muleheaded attitude, no way Morgana was fooling around with the pizza delivery boy. That's definitely Carth's kid, and that's definitely Force Sensitivity. Now, while it can skip a generation (see Theron Shan), it tends to run pretty heavy in families.

Lastly? Gee. He comes from a planet settled by and heavily populated by descendants of Force Sensitives who failed their training. I'm also willing to bet some bastard children of Jedi get passed off as "foundlings" and "orphans" and dumped there, too. Jedi are forbidden attachments, but not sworn to celibacy, so...yeah, bastard kids are gonna happen. There's probably a Jedi or two in that family tree. It's circumstantial evidence at best, but it still supports the case.

Now, any arguments I missed? Counterarguments?

And the million credit question: If there's a character who gets to break this news to poor Flyboy, who do you think would actually take that on? How do you think Carth would take that kind of news? And what, if anything, would come of it?

I kinda figure Jolee might be the only one nuts enough to poke that with a stick...I also kinda figure "Sentinel" would fit best. Consular? Hell no. He hired Mical for that. Guardian works with the feats, but the whole "ferreting out deceit and injustice?" Yeah. That's Carth.

[gloomysushiroll]

Gloomy Lore Moment:

I now hate the word ‘bump!’ Because i soft-blocked an ex-friend who was weird as hell a while back and they tried contacting me through email and when i didnt respond he replied to the email he sent with “bump!” Because he thought it got lost. He had sent me multiple friend requests and then i fully blocked him before he started sending the emails.

Like bro im not forgiving u get that through your head. You said you were glad America nuked hiroshima and nagasaki because it meant more american soldiers survived … at the cost of japanese citizens…

Also said cuz im ethnically chinese that me disagreeing with his political views was because i had to ‘be careful what i say’ because the government will hurt me if i had bad opinions about china.

Also was weirdly… racist towards the south of the USA? Said theyre the reason the US was degrading etc. weird stuff

Dont stay friends with people you befriended at 12 years old!!

[Antheia’s Longing]

Was conflicted about the colours of this one bc I like the green but it felt like it had too little contrast. Experimented with gradient maps a bit and got it to have a more romantic and sunset feel. However I do love the rich greens on the last slide …

Anyways I’m finally done with this one. Ive been experimenting with the idea of Antheia possibly being in love with the deity she worships. I can imagine her running to this secret garden whenever things get tough at the temple and just looking at this forgotten statue of Narcissa. It must have brought her comfort.

Here are some of the development process:

[rabidpotato]

I have Castlevania brain rot send help

Ho boy. I have FEELINGS.

Season 4 spoilers and (longwinded) Discourse(TM) below the cut

A happy ending? In MY Castlevanias? It’s more likely than you think. With as grimdark as the series has been I fully expected to have my heart torn out and shat on, so to get an actual satisfying happy ending was a whole lungful of fresh air. Gimme that sweet sweet rush of Everybody Lives Nobody Dies, I need that shit pumped straight into my poor serotonin-starved brain.

What a hell of a season. There was enough material there for at least two seasons (and I would have LOVED to have two seasons, but that’s just because I’m greedy and want more…) and I was skeptical that they could even try to wrap up all those threads..and then they DID IT. Hot damn.

Hot Takes:

In this house we stan Greta and will tolerate no disrespect against our sword-and-hammer wielding queen. I love her, and I love her and Alucard’s dynamic with the deliberate parallels to Dracula and Lisa. I think she’s good for him.

TREVOR AND SYPHA UGH I JUST LOVE THEM SO MUCH I’m out here crying ugly tears at how much this stinky himbo and tiny nuke love each other ;______; Battle Couple OTP.

I would watch the shit out of an entire season of everybody building the new village and Trevor and Sypha learning how to be parents and Alucard and Greta getting closer and everybody just being HAPPY. This is because I am trash, not because there would actually be any storytelling value in such a thing. Same thing with onscreen kisses between Trevor and Sypha. Is it necessary? No. Doesn’t mean I don’t want it. But hey, that’s what fandom is for, right? I’ll just be over here drawing beetus-inducing fluff and being vaguely disgusted with myself.

Papa Trevor would be so soft. I think my ovaries just exploded.

I 100% expected Trevor to die and leave Sypha grieving and pregnant with the way they teased it in the trailer and the way it would have thematically fit with the rest of the series, and I am SO GLAD he didn’t. I’m tired of sad endings. I really love that he gets to be part of this world of people who know how to build things.

“I love you.” “I know.”

That single flash of Sypha’s face as he’s fading out knowing he’s going to die and being at peace with it, augh my fucking heart. T_T

Horse is secret MVP. That horse knows things.

Isaac confirmed for a) stand user and b) monster fucker. King out here living his best life, you love to see it.

But for reals tho, Isaac’s arc was one of my favorites. Nice fakeout with the conquest line in the trailer. The philosophical discussions on the nature of humans and night creatures, the way he comes to realize that he (and Hector, and by extension his own night creatures) is/are more than a tool to be used in the hands of others, the way he reclaims his own agency and decides he’s going to live...I fucking loved it. (Also paves the way for post-series forgehusbands…)

SO FUCKING HAPPY FOR STRIGA AND MORANA. I was holding my breath expecting them to get horribly killed the entire time and then they just...weren’t. The hot vampire wives got to literally ride off into the sunset (sunrise?) together, in a way that made sense. The General and the Organizer looked at the data on the ground, discussed, and made the calculated decision to stick with what really matters to them, not just Carmilla’s ambitions. More of this, please! Would have loved to see Striga fight more than once, though. Also I would shank a man for Morana’s cape.

Respect for Carmilla for going out on her own terms, even if it did feel a little heavy-handed. The cinematography of her and Isaac’s fight sure as hell made up for it though- that was one of the prettiest fights of the series.

Reunited trio’s fight was the other prettiest fight of the series. Holy fuck, what gorgeous animation.

I actually liked that St Germain’s lady friend never spoke- it reinforced the way that he has mythologized her to the point where she’s not even a person, just an ideal. It was also exactly what he deserved that she turned her back on him in the end. She’s just not that into you, bro.

Varney is a hoot. A greasy, flea-infested slimy hoot. Nice twist, too. Death’s design is *chef kiss*

Loved the themes of moving on and rebuilding and change and how there’s a pretty clear split between the people who are able to adapt and change (and live), and those “relics of the old world” who can’t or won’t. Ratko was criminally underused in this respect. I think there just wasn’t enough time.

Quibbles:

Pacing. I know Castlevania is notorious for uneven pacing, but in this case I think this is on Netflix- they should have been given a full two seasons to wrap this up, just to give things a chance to breathe. As it was, though, I think the writers did the best possible job given the constraints they were under.

Zamfir should have lived to learn the lesson about caring for the people who are still alive, and been the one to take charge of rebuilding Targoviste for the living. Having her die was straight-up pointless in a predictable way.

Did Trevor just straight-up forget he has TWO weapons with range when fighting Ratko? You have like a 30 foot reach what are you doing bro

Lenore is Problematic, and I wish there had been more tension between her and Hector. Like, I know Stockholm Syndrome is a thing, but he’s weirdly chill with her in a way that glosses over just what she did to him. Also I would have liked to see more self-awareness of “Oh, being a pet in a cage really is shitty, no matter how nice the cage. Now I know why what I did to you was wrong” before she dips. Her ending sure was poetic, though.

Wasn’t Trevor’s left arm broken in that last fight? How the heck is he even able to use it at the end? Also damn dude it’s been two weeks you should probably at least have washed those gaping wounds by now. Do you want sepsis? Because that’s how you get sepsis.

Unpopular Opinions:

Look I love Dracula/Lisa as much as the next shipper but “Hey we’re alive again for some reason!!” was totally out of left field. It felt like something out of a fix-it fic and it was just kinda baffling and jarring. Also go see your fucking kid, jfc you two are terrible parents.

Is Lisa just...kinda fine with the fact that Dracula tried to commit genocide in her name and almost killed their son? That must have been an awkward conversation.

I’m actually cool with Alucard spilling his life story to Greta on the march. He’s starving for human interaction, who’s to say he wouldn’t just want to TALK about what he’s been through? It’s treated in a way that’s a bit flippant for my taste, but we’ve seen enough of his trauma onscreen. I want to focus on his healing.

I’m hesitant to kick this particular hornet’s nest, but I really don’t think the ot3 has to be sexual? If it is, it damn well be an ot4 polycule with Greta. I see them more as two couples that are close friends and found family. But that’s the great thing about fandom! Rock on, shippers of all flavors, there’s room enough for everybody.

In Conclusion (jesus fuck how much did I write)

Castlevania pretty

Have you seen my braincell I think I misplaced it

Moar plz

[laryna6]

One of those ‘A Christmas Carol’-based fics with Saotome Eiji.

Kyousuke’s dad appearing warning of the demons of the Sanzu river and the measuring of karma that awaits the dead, and Saotome going ‘I must have fallen asleep/that’s a foreign Buddhist thing’ because of the... heavy pushing of a... propagandized version of Shinto as part of Japanese nationalism building up to WWII.

Instead of Christmas it’s Obon (a festival of Buddist/Confucian origin) ofc.

To fit with ‘the idea that people have to earn the right to live is effed up’ from the original, perhaps as a child he was sent to an orphanage bc his family couldn’t feed him? The additional damage of not knowing who your ancestors were in a culture practicing ancestor worship.

Other students of psychic research inviting him to hang out at the university but he wanted to get an officer position in the army, so needing to avoid undesirable elements.

Saotome’s present day obon, Kyousuke who was raised in China being taught about Shinto because as a half-Chinese person on top of an esper in an era of nationalism... they worry about the kid and he might be safer if he do all the ‘I am a loyal subject of the emperor’ signaling. Two of the espers in the unit canonically come from traditional priesthood families and have OPINIONS about what these motherfucking nationalists are doing to corrupt and twist everyone’s spirituality and traditions and their sense of connection to their families and their people and the land. Making shinto priests government officials?!

Saotome going they’re not proper LoyalTM to the army and Japan

Spirit #2 going ‘was the army ever loyal to them?’

Fujiko and her father discussing how their family is nobility and the need for the nobiiity to give up power and instead bring about democracy if Japan was going to escape being conquered and exploited by imperialists like the countries around them.

Fujiko going ‘but the warrior classes all got positions in the military, and now we’re a military dictatorship and Japan has just become one more imperialist power, it’s disgusting and her father going absolutely, and discussion of duty to their ancestors and their country foreshadowing Fujiko making a choice that according to traditional morality and the noble code of conduct was ABSOLUTELY UNACCEPTABLY HORRIBLY WRONG to the point of disgracing her entire family line because what kind of people could have produced a traitor like that... but because of it in the modern day Japan is the second least awful country in how it treats espers.

Then spirit #3, and Saotome going ‘I’ve seen the precogs, espers going to war with normals, Kyousuke betraying the country/me to serve a queen’

And then it’s the younger queen and two other girls going ‘Minamoto we want to go to a festival with you’ while a harried man basically shoos them out the door with a broom and goes ‘go! Your families want to see you! Here are your boxed lunches and snacks for the trip’ and the girls are espers who use their powers to get to their normal families. the queen and her big sister get in a wrestling match over the cookies and only belatedly realize their mom’s eaten them all while commentating while they dress for the festival. another girl and her normal father engage in some police brutality towards festival pickpockets as bonding. the third girl, at least, is traditional and proper even if she’s performing a ceremony that comes from non-Japanese origins (and yet... it’s still a tradition that ties them to their ancestors and the gods and who they are, and Shinto says that tradition is sacred, it doesn’t say that traditions that first came from outside aren’t sacred)

The man is following his mother around as she chatters with everyone and gets up to shenanigans at the festival. ‘Father couldn’t make it again’ mentioning a grandmother who used to stay with him at these. Looking up at the sparks rise above the fire to send the dead home, lonely even though he’s surrounded by people in his hometown... and then he gets tackled by the three girls demanding he take photos with them while they’re all in kimonos

And then it switches to someone announcing That Bastard is finally dead. Far from the land he was born, with no one in the country he served who cares to claim his body ‘so we should send someone to pretend to be a relative’ and someone declaring that this is now a formal meeting because while obviously they all want to desecrate his grave, they are going to do it in an organized fashion that reflects the gravity of his crimes and pays respects to his innocent victims and continuing victims of that bastard’s legacy of murder and hatred. Eggs and toilet paper are not up for discussion is said with a pointed look at another man, who whines ‘big bro!’

This is the most diverse group of people Saotome has ever seen, people from all over the world united in their hatred of someone who gets referred to with several different languages’ curse words.

And then someone walks in and goes ‘here you are, okay, what are you up to? I’ve been raising kids for half a century, I know that when you’re all quiet and busy somewhere you’re up to no good’ and it’s Kyousuke. The guy who went ‘big bro’ gets his ear twisted, and whines ‘dad!’

It’s revealed that ‘that bastard’ is someone who hurt Kyousuke, who they’re protective of like the unit is (he still looks so young...) but when he gets it out of them he’s no! and there is a whine of ‘dad! He shot you!’ ‘I know’ *bullet scar revealed* ‘I’m the one he shot, so I get to decide what to do with him’

Kyousuke lifting away a sheet to reveal a body old and twisted and crippled. And Saotome’s. Kyousuke is blank an solemn... and sad.

Going through the Shinsosai funeral rites, all foreign Buddhist influences removed as he would have wanted, and maybe there’s a reason the people of Japan for centuries were happy to have Buddhists to help them usher their families into the next world, because he can see the weight of the kegare on him, how Kyousuke mourns him, is the only one who mourns him. Eventually a woman who treats Kyousuke as both an embarrassing younger brother and as a respected father comes to help, to cheer him up, even though she despises Saotome too, for hurting him.

A picture of the unit, in Kyousuke’s family shrine. ‘Now everyone in this photograph but Fujiko is dead... He took my family from me, but he, too, was family.’

Then he grabbed the woman, teleported, and dragged her down with him into the ocean for purification.

...then Kyousuke goes to bully the man from before, who is arguing with the three girls about how yes, they are sleepy, Kaoru nearly flew them into the ground getting home, while making them all tea before he shoves them into their bedroom. When he turns around Kyousuke has stolen the cup that was supposed to be for him, and the man at first automatically raises his hackles, but then looks sympathetic.

Kyousuke looks away, annoyed and pouting, at sympathy from this person.

‘...If I try to comfort you you’re going to shove my head in the toilet again,’ the man says, getting himself another cup of tea.

‘Absolutely’ Kyousuke agrees.

Silence, and eventually Kyousuke says, ‘at first I thought you were his reincarnation, even though he would have been offended at the idea of him reincarnating. Then I found he was with the Comericans, had been since the war, and I thought, it would have been better if he was you. Not for the Queen. But for him. If I hadn’t failed to avenge my comrades back then, he could have moved on to a better life or the otherworld. Not been forced to live on a failure and a pawn in a foreign land, unable to return home. He was a proud man.’ Looking down at his tea, ‘when I met him again, he asked me to kill him.’

‘..in the precog, I know there’s a nuke on the way when I shoot Kaoru,’ the man says, and now Saotome knows where he’s seen him. ‘even though I want to kill her so she can’t leave again and I want it enough to kill her before she stops that nuke from destroying Tokyo, I still know that I have to die for this. I’m just getting the order wrong. I should die before I do that. Having to live with what I do in that precog would be a fate worse than death.’

‘That was why I erased his memories that day. He... there was no point in him continuing to suffer. None of us would have wanted that for him. I thought... didn’t he know our feelings? That we were loyal to him, that we didn’t mind dying for him? And then I saw that he truly didn’t recognize our feelings. Because he didn’t know what it looked like, to recognize when people truly cared for him. But he cared for us, and so when he thought that espers would turn against normals, that it was impossible for us to ever care for him... Those damn precogs. They broke his heart before he put a bullet through mine.’

‘Maybe... next obon?’

a shake of the head. ‘he thought it was too foreign. It’s fine, our comrades will beat sense into him in the afterlife.’ Kyousuke drank the rest of his tea.

‘..Some of the parts of the traditional ceremony... PANDRA loves you, but I think that would have made it hard to force them to cooperate,’ the man said. “I don’t want to hear words honoring him either, but you like to do things I don’t want.’

‘What, are you going to give me condolences for his loss?”

‘I can honestly say that I am very sorry he’s dead, because it means I will never get to strangle him,’ the man vigorously throttled the air, going from kind and patient to a man more than capable of shooting a young woman in love with him, and back, ‘from turning you from such a sweet, good little kid into the godawful brat I have had to deal with.’

Kyousuke snorted.

“Do you want another cup of tea, or a cup of milk?”

“Milk.” Kyousuke said, and when the man was on his way to open a white door, he began, “Utsumi-san said that he graduated first in his class, but he had no family and no background. The esper unit was his proposal, so when he told us that we could serve our country and be accepted, he wagered his own future on the chance that ours could be happy. Utsumi said later that he never trusted Saotome-Taicho, because he knew he didn’t truly care for us. I asked once why he didn’t warn us, if he knew that, but... Utsumi knew his heart, so he knew that Saotome-taicho also was different, was desperately wishing to prove he was valuable enough to accept. He knew what bait to dangle before us because it was the exact same lure that led him to the army. We all wanted him to have that happy future, along with us.’

[beevean]

How about a top 5 (or 10 if you prefer) best and worst bosses in video games? :D

I’m not very well versed in videogames, but anyway...

WORST

10) Chaos 4 (Sonic Adventure): Not a big fan of bosses who waste so much time - ooh, look at that, trying to hit me with very slow, very telegraphed attacks, and taking more and more time to becomes vulnerable the more the fight progresses. Also not a big fan of Tactical Suicide Bosses (excuse me Chaos, why is your strategy “stay in the water for increasingly amounts of time and then decide to raise my head to breathe”? In this form you’re a fish!). Even less of a fan of bosses that you have to fight three times to complete the game.

9) Sonic and Diablon (Shadow the Hedgehog): They couldn’t have come up with a more boring boss if they tried. Shoot the shield, shoot the cannon, avoid the hand, run away when you hear the word “anti-matter”, kick Sonic in the head, slowly chip at the large energy bar, rinse and repeat. The G.U.N. Fortress version is particularly painful, too, as the arena only offers those piss poor pistols with 10 bullets and minimal damage. And much like Chaos 4, you have to fight this lovely boss three times to get to the Last Story, except you don’t even get a different character with different abilities. Also, poor Sonic, from protagonist of the series reduced to nothing more than a footstep.

8) Collision Chaos boss (Sonic CD): Try to play a boss that relies on wonky pinball physics, that shoots projectiles with the only purpose of changing your already precarious trajectory, in the Bad Future that adds slightly more bumpers to destroy, with the American music (I linked the extended version to properly depict the experience). Pain is real.

7) Egg Pinball (Sonic Advance 3): Surprise! I find this boss worse than the more famous Egg Chaser. Yes, the Egg Chaser is very anxiety-inducing with its bottomless pit and the ball chain sending you into it, but once you learn the pattern of the platforms and that Amy as a partner makes it a joke it’s not that bad. This one, though? Even with Amy/Sonic, which is the only team where your partner is useless but you aren’t, this boss relies too much on luck, expecially by the end when way too many balls are flying across the screen. It’s almost funny, in a “screw you” way, that this is one of the two bosses in the game that can’t be hit by Cheese, in the stage where you finally unlock Cream. Pinball and Sonic don’t mix as well as Sonic Team thinks, apparently.

6) Boost Guardian (Metroid Prime 2, Gamecube): This boss’ strategy isn’t even that bad, it’s just that it hits you like a truck in an environment that is already sipping you of health. If being hit was less punishing, guessing the correct timing to jump over it would be fun. Too overkill for its placement in the game.

5) Mother Brain (Metroid Zero Mission): MB in the original Metroid 1 was... there, with the difficulty of the final boss coming from those stupid Rinkas pushing you into the lava below. In the remake, which otherwise is much easier than the original game, you have to think about the Rinkas, the lava, and MB who shots you fireballs! And if you fall into the lava (and you will spend half of the time in the lava)? She closes her eye and protects her only weak spot, forcing you to wait at the mercy of the Rinkas hitting you all over again. Asshole.

4) Dark Gaia (Sonic Unleashed): Dark Gaia, as a whole, is a stain on an otherwise beautiful game. Setting aside his “character” for a while: this boss is way, WAY too long (the first time I clocked at 11 minutes, like hell I’m trying again), the Gaia Colossus phase is frustrating for how slow it is and for having a nigh-unavoidable attack, the running phase requires pitch-perfect timing otherwise say bye bye to your life, and the Super Sonic phase is essentially “slipping down the shield to run over a bunch of snakes, then QTE up your ass”. Riveting. At least it has some banging music...

3) Egg Saucer (Sonic Advance 2): The bosses in SAd2 are already questionable with their “wind pushing you backwards” physics, but this one flings you enough bullshit to make you ragequit. Whoisthisgit made an excellent video explaining everything that makes this boss such a miserable experience. I am so sorry, Knuckles, that you had to be associated with this tragedy.

2) Antlion Mecha (Sonic 2, Game Gear): So let me get this straight devs, you take a boss that is already a little too had as the first boss in the game, you put it in a console with a much smaller screen, you screw up the slope physics making it just a little too easy to slide into the antlion’s jaws (and of course you don’t have any Rings), and on top of that you make the trajectory of the projectiles random when in the Master System they were consistent? Great game design there, guys :V

1) Spider Guardian (Metroid Prime 2, Gamecube): I was never as close as bestemmiare ogni santo e pure il padre eterno as I was when I was trying to beat this abomination. I love the Ing theme, but FUCK if I wasn’t hating every single sound of it while playing, OH MY GOD I envy the people who played it on the Wii so damn much

BEST

10) Robot Carnival/Storm (Sonic Heroes): Yes! Yes, I do like this boss! I’m probably the only one, I don’t care, I find these fights cathartic, especially with Team Chaotix <3

9) Jet Drill (Sonic 3 & Knuckles): The strategy may be simple, but I love the setup of Eggman destroying an ancient garden just to kill Sonic and I love how it emphasizes how much of a reliable bro Tails is. (let’s just ignore the fact that with Tails alone this boss is a pain...)

8) Doomsday Zone (Sonic 3 & Knuckles): The series had its fair share of Super Sonic bosses, but so far no one has beaten the original. It has excellent music, you can feel the tension as you smartly redirect Eggman’s missiles to him and as you chase him down through space, and Eggman in this game is really ready to do anything to win, I love it

7) Beta mk. II (Sonic Adventure): This is probably the best part of Gamma’s campaign. 90% of it is kindergarten-easy, and then Hot Shelter and the final boss are a sudden, but welcome spike in difficulty. Beta mk. II is a far cry from any other E-series robot you’ve faced, being almost completely invulnerable, hitting you with straight up nukes, and the time is still ticking in the corner. Then you add the context of having to kill your brother, and the deceptively upbeat theme, and it becomes a memorable experience.

6) Cykka (Metroid Prime 2): The first phase is fairly boring, but Adult Cykka is really fun to fight for some reason. Not only it has a cool design, but it’s a fast-paced battle (due to having to use the Grapple Beam to swing from platform to platform) where you have to go ham on the boss at certain points (when it becomes Dark Cykka), my two favorite styles for a boss.

5) Nightmare (Metroid Fusion): A name, a certainty. This boss looks, sounds and attacks in a way that makes you feel confused and powerless. Even at it becomes a game of “climb the stairs, shoot at its ungodly face, jump around to avoid it”, it’s still tense.

4) Ridley (Super Metroid): SM isn’t famous for having great bosses, but they put all of their effort into Ridley and it shows. There’s no strategy here, it’s simply “kill him before he kills you”. At this point you’re pretty much at the peak of your strength, you went through literal Hell to get The Baby back, you’re not going to be stopped by the asshole who killed your parents.

3) Shibusawa Keiji (Yakuza 0): What a beast of a final boss. The first Dragon of Dojima is the perfect foil to Kiryu, having all of his strength and style but none of his compassion, and beating him up to a bloody pulp, especially as you see him become sloppier and sloppier, is so, so cathartic. Also, Two Dragons, what more can I say?

2) Egg Dragoon (Sonic Unleashed): Best boss in the series? I don’t know but it’s surely in the top 10, and it’s ironic that you play as the hated Werehog. Not only it has some delicious music (that generations ruined), but it’s such a fun climax after the hell and a half that is Eggmanland! On one hand, Eggman sounds seriously angry and he is ready to kill Sonic (and if you take too much time, which admittedly is hard if you’re not doing it on purpose, he is positively gleeful while he sends you into a fiery death); on the other, Sonic just rips this giant robot apart like tissue paper, and even if it’s done through QTEs, it looks awesome.

1) Kuze Daisaku (Yakuza 0): I’ll let this say it all. If I had to pick a favorite version, the fifth one was my favorite to fight (by that point you have likely upgraded Kiryu’s abilities to the point of making him a juggernaut), but the second one is iconic for a reason... multiple, in fact. “DIE, YOU LITTLE SHIT!”

Special mention to Majima in Y1, YK and YK2 because he looks really fun, but I have never faced him myself so yeah.