#bro. idk what to tell you it’s not 2003 anymore. the rest of us have moved on i suggest you do the same and grow up

[andoutofharm]

in a shocking turn of events, fob ‘fans’ on tiktok who are stuck in 2003 continue to be the stupidest and most annoying people in existence

[sage-the-mage]

Okay so like a month/month and a half ago I was bored at work and let my mind wander while cleaning (as I frequently do, my brain constantly jumps from thing to thing when I'm bored) and accidentally created an AU I've been obsessing over since. It started out as me wondering what would happen if Miraculous Ladybug was in the same universe as DC (specifically the "takes bits and pieces from different things because the actual comics usually have me screaming no because of the bullshit they do to my babies and anyway I like Teen Titans (2003) and Young Justice and the animated movies so I'm gonna amalgamate them a bit" verseI made with Mal that's constantly going in my head). But nothing really changed so I kept doing things and wound up combining two things that didn't need to be put together and made Marinette not exist in the verse and- That was when I realized I had a problem but really didn't care. Sooo since I'm not doing great today I decided I'm just making a long probably rambling post for this verse because maybe it'll make me feel better. -Chara and Mal came to earth when they were nine and got adopted by Bruceman almost instantly -Dickiebird is two years older than them but Chara will always claim "oldest" when coming up with plans and is questioned on who put her in charge and he really doesn't fight her on it because she's definitely the most responsible -Idk the actual age differences between everyone in the batfam so I'm making up my own -Ironically enough, when Mal and Chara first got into the heroing thing, Chara's chosen alias was Ladybug. Because she liked ladybugs -Mal and Chara spent their first four years on earth trying to find their father, then never actually went to see him once they did because they were both nervous -Plus Jason had just been taken in and they wanted to get to know their new little bro -Jay's a year younger than them -Another year after that, when Mal and Chara were thirteen, Chara almost died -Mal and Dickie had already decided to move to Jump for awhile and try being heros without The Bat, and Chara decided to let Ladybug die (since the villains already thought she was) for awhile so she could see what a normal life was like -She then sought out her father to actually meet him -Who lived in Paris with his wife -They own a bakery -You have to see where this is going -The girls' mother Miranda visited earth at one point (for science) and wound up "dating" (it was like a week lmao so I'm not sure it counts as dating) Tom Dupain while she was there -Then after she left she found out she was pregnant and he wound up meeting Sabine Cheng -Also Miranda seemed to have a thing for accidentally having half human kids after visiting earth -Because that had happened before with some other human -Except the father of those ones knew about it -So she kept one (Valerie) and let the father keep one on earth -And there we have Slade -Because I just like torturing my babies by having him related to them too damn much -Anyway -So Chara goes and surprises her dad with her existence -But he and Sabine are both more than happy to let her live with them -Chara had already thought of Bruceman as her dad (and Selina as a mom tbh) and now she has another mom and dad and it was great -Mal came by to meet them and it was great -I should write that tbh -French is one of the languages Chara hadn't picked up working in the batfam so she had to learn there -This leads to slip-ups and uncertain stuttering that Chloe makes fun of her for relentlessly -Chloe still a bitch -She manages to have a normal life for a full year!!! -Then mysteriously gets these earrings that turn her into a superhero themed like- get this- a ladybug -Oh the irony -I feel I've gotten more sarcastic as this post goes on -Also she gets her first crush on a sweet cinnamon roll model boy and made friends with a girl who really likes superheros -In case you couldn't tell that's Adrien and Alya -Chara can talk to Adrien better than Marinette can in the show -She still stammeres a lot but it's not nearly as bad and it's usually blamed on her not knowing the language confidently yet -She pretty quickly settles into her role as Ladybug again -She even likes Chat Noir's stupid puns -Not that she'd tell him while they're battling akumas -Then Jay dies -And she's sadder than normal but no one knows why exactly -Because she's pretty private about her life and family back in Gotham -Anyway over the next few years she becomes pretty good friends with Alya and Nino and Adrien while doing the hero thing with Chat -Because I have a soft spot for the MariChat branch, that is definitely a thing -Chat likes to see what "Purrrincess" is up to because she's less stuttery and more jokey for some reason when he's Chat instead of Adrien??? -The reason being Chara knows Chat won't make fun of her for her language slip-ups because he hadn't while she's LB -Either way Chat likes seeing her like that -And Chara comes to appreciate his jokes and just him in general -And she kinda gives up on Adrien because surely if it was meant to be it would be easier -And Chat's accepted LB doesn't want to be anything more than friends -So one day while they're hanging in Chara's room Chat kisses her -And then they're making out on her bed -And it becomes a thing -And a couple weeks later Chara shows up one day covered in hiccies -So does Adrien -Neither offers an explanation and Chara doesn't seem to be upset by seeing hiccies by the collar of his shirt so everyone assumes they hooked up, which is truer than Chara realizes -Chara winds up telling Alya it was actually Chat and holy hell Alya totally flips -"GIRL HOW THE HELL HAVE YOU WOUND UP WITH CHAT FREAKING NOIR!!!" -Chara shushes her and tells her it's not like that -Really they're just friends with benefits because surely Chat, who seemed to flirt with everyone (though if she payed attention, she'd see it was only her as Chara and LB) wouldn't want to actually DATE her -Jump to a few months later, LB and Chat finally defeated Hawkmoth -They agreed to not reveal Gabriel's identity, as long as he gave up the moth miraculous -LB was very reluctant to do this, which confused Chat -Chat, after finding out HM was Gabe and his reason for wanting the cat and ladybug miraculouses was to bring his mom back bc he's even worse with Emotions (tm) than Bats, wanted to give him a second chance, and was confused why LB (not knowing she was trained by Bats and lived in Gotham) is so reluctant to give a second chance -After they leave Chara decides to reveal herself to Chat because without HM as a problem anymore that shouldn't be an issue and really it's been nearly four years and she really REALLY likes him so -Chat is just stunned because shit his lady and his purrincess are one and the same and wait he kissed Ladybug and she actually was interested in him just not while they were fighting and fuck his father was the guy they've been up against for the last four years she DEFINITELY wouldn't be in him now -Chara sees the shock on his face and, because she's pretty confident in herself, assumes he wasn't as ready for a reveal and tells him not to tell him who he is yet, he clearly isn't ready -Chat just kisses her and detransforms anyway and Chara's the one who's shocked -Jump again to a few weeks later when Chara goes on a visit to Gotham as she does every few months -She's kept up well with the growing Batfamily and keeps a good relationship with all of them -She acts as a mother to all of them, including Dick -She's pretty protective of Timmy -Damian wouldn't admit it, but she's actually his favorite -She's not judgmental of the fact he grew up an assassin or telling him constantly to not kill people, and actually gives him tips on how to adapt (which she'd used herself after coming to earth), and she's not always around so he doesn't have to deal with constant hugs, only when she's visiting, so it's a manageable amount -Jay's the only one she hasn't kept up with, and that's only because no one told her he came back -So Chara comes for one of her visits and brings Adrien and Alya and Nino (who've been informed of their secret identities) -Almost immediately there's an attack at the coffee shop they stop in by a fairly weak villain -Probably Riddler or smthn -Chara Ladybugs up and kicks his ass within two minutes -Cue people cheering and being excited at seeing Ladybug again -AGAIN -Chara goes back to Chara and Alya just -"GIRL YOU GOT SOME 'SPLAININ' TO DO" -Chara hesitates then takes the distraction of noticing someone -That someone winds up being Jay -He'd heard what was going off then sprinted off when he saw it was taken care of -Chara chases -Confused af when she sees it's Jay -But also excited because her first little brother is ALIVE -And she's just chattering and hugging him -And then he starts bawling and she's not sure why -But she's rocking him and muttering soothing nonsense and petting his hair -And he's curled in her lap like a little kid and just sobbing and holding onto her and he's just so happy someone's loving him and caring about him -Once he calms down he tells her that he had come back and the whole story with that and how after he hadn't followed the no kill rule a few times and the rest of the family was weary at best towards him -Mal was nice enough to him at least but still it wasn't great -Chara just keeps holding him and rocking him and assuring him that he's still part of the family and more importantly he's still her little brother and she'll always be his big sister -She reminds him how before she moved to Paris she promised she'd be there for him whenever he needed and says that still applies -The others finally find where she'd went and she tells them everything -Bruceman might be mad but shhhh he can deal she trusts them with her life -They finally make it to Wayne Manor and they all get along pretty damn well -Even Jay -I should write that too -Aaaand that's all for now