#bro’s living his best gay catholic life

[potato-lord-but-not]

hi i just wanted to say, as a gay Catholic, this:

means so so so much to me.

happy queer catholic rep is so rare so thank you.

Always here to provide the happy queer rep for anything and everything <333

[catholic-character-tournament]

Round 4 - Catholic Character Tournament

Propaganda below ⬇️

John

he’s a priest. he can punch your lights out. he would never hurt a fly. he has connections in the black market. he gives everything he can to the local orphans. he will not hesitate to play pranks on you. he wants everyone to be happy. he has daddy issues probably. he wants a promotion sososososoooooo bad.

I accidentally submitted the last 5actors name but it’s the same guy

Hey everyone please vote for this man I love him he truely is what we need more of in this world the kindest most relatable character has flaws etc etc. Deserves the world

Enrico propaganda

He grew up in the church and became a priest. so devoted to his faith he ended the UNIVERSE to achieve the perfect world aka heaven

Hes Catholic but also so gay for this one vampire that he ended the world for him

He is LITERALLY one big metaphor for the catholic church as a villain. He’s a guy who believes himself to be a martyr on a fundamentally altruistic quest that will better humanity and the world, but in truth hes a destructive force blind to his faults and hypocritical of the atrocities he commits. Even his altruisim is just a lie (that he does believe himself though) because it all just stems from a deep rooted desire he has to alliviate the guilt he feels. Also hes obsessed with ”the world to come” to the point that hes downright nihilistic towards the current world he actually lives in, as well as the other people in it. which i mean. lol. Ultimately hes an insane delusional queen and he should win this because he is just That catholic. also he is a catholic priest :)

his names pussy bc he served cunt (in a catholic god honoring way)

I want my bestie’s guy in bere

No one could feel guilt to this level if not catholic

Religious Allegory mostly woth how his power(white snake) is contradictory it has white to make you think of good things but it contrast with snake a creature that tempted adam and eve. Although he is a Man of faith his stand’s design is far from it being incredibly intimidating and lined with the genetic of dna whihc is scientific compared to faith.

Bro tries to kill a child

serial killer priest bro

HE IS INSANE He spent his whole life believing in fate and when his world turned around Shakespeare tragedy style he made it his mission to bring 「HEAVEN TO EARTH」, which means TEARING AWAY THE FABRIC OF REALITY SO THAT EVERYONE IS AWARE OF THEIR OWN FATE. How does he get there? Simple! By using a half-baked horse to SPEED UP TIME UNTIL THE UNIVERSE RESETS AND LAUNCHES EVERYONE INTO A NEW WORLD. How did he GET this horse??? Oh, as one does - his (dead) best friend’s toe bone grew into a baby made of leaves that vored him, but he survived and grew even more eyebrows than he already had. And that’s without getting into the STUFF that makes him a phenomenal, S-tier, fine wine that EXPLODES and causes you to see VISIONS type of character. That’s just the surface. But, ah, that’s Catholics for ya. Vote Enrico Pucci for king of the Catholic tournament. 👍🏻

[phanfictioncatalogue]

(Lost)In The Woods Masterlist

A Blue Starfall - wavydanrises

Summary: Phil is a botanist who enjoys going on hikes through the woods, when someday he walks into someone quite… particular. He didn’t believe in coincidences, so maybe it really was fate that guided his steps.

A million little suns (ao3) - jestbee

Summary: Dan is just trying to get as far away from his home town as possible at Christmas when he gets stuck in a snow storm. He’s rescued by an enigmatic stranger who take him back to his cabin in the mountains. What Dan doesn’t know is that his rescuer is prolific, best-selling writer of erotica, Ricky Blitz. Will Dan end up with a porn-worthy situation all of his own? (hint: yes)

Porn with feels and some Christmas magic.

An Unusual Pack (ao3) - Do_it_with_the_Howell_Lesters

Summary: In a world where supernatural creatures exist, outcasts Dan and Phil find themselves forming an unlikely pack of two to survive in their world.

Cabin in the Woods (ao3) - dip_and_pip_trash

Summary: Two bros, chilling in a cabin. What could possibly go wrong?

caught between the tides (ao3) - waveydnp

Summary: dan is alone in a post apocalyptic world, following the coast of the sea and heading north, avoiding what’s left of humanity at all costs. until, desperate and losing hope, he stumbles across a cabin in the woods that isn’t quite as uninhabited as it first appears.

Everybody Has Secrets (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: (tw) Phil Lester is a nerdy guy that no one really pays attention to. Dan Howell is an intimidating badass who becomes more of an enigma as you get to know him, although people rarely do. They might not have much in common, but it soon becomes apparent that everyone has secrets.

Exile (ao3) - kae_karo

Summary: Exile’s a fucking bitch. Dan finds himself kicked out of town and searching for literally anywhere out of the rain - somehow, he must have just enough luck, as he stumbles upon a seemingly abandoned house in the middle of the forest. Except it isn’t abandoned, and the resident isn’t exactly…normal…

Let's Go From Here (ao3) - afunnyworld

Summary: Dan gets lost while playing Pokemon GO. He meets Phil while trying to find his way back.

Red and the wolf (ao3) - natigail

Summary: Phil was used to walking through the forest after having visited his grandmother’s cottage. He never felt particular unsafe... until his possible-physic nana - at least if you asked her - was warning him that someone would take his heart and he might not make the trip alive. Phil wasn’t sure if her words caused the paranoia or if someone dangerous were truly lurking in the bushes.

Sacrilegious (ao3) - TheUKAmazingDan

Summary: Dan Howell was a good kid. A Catholic, growing up in Mass and youth group. But, after meeting Phil Lester, his life drastically changed, turning the quiet and meek boy into a wild child.

The Clearing (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Dan and Phil decide to head out to the woods for a short vacation. Phil makes sure this weekend is unforgettable.

The Stranger In The Woods - doomedhowell

Summary: Dan is on his way to his friends house when a storm hits and he gets lost in the middle of the woods where there’s clearly no one around and no way for him to get help. At least, that’s what he thinks until he sees a cabin with lights on inside. Dan had been in a hurry before but after meeting the stranger who lives in the cabin, he might like to stay a bit longer.

The Trampoline - jilliancares

Summary: Dan’s very gay and very in love with Phil, who has always been 100% straight. Also, there’s a trampoline.

Under the trees and shooting starts - wavydanrises

Summary: Dan’s parents have insisted that he comes with them on a family holiday at a hiking camp in the middle of the woods, and he isn’t too happy about that for various reasons. Until he meets the son of the owners, who works there.

WE’RE ALL DOOMED! (ao3) - idkspookystuff

Summary: it’s 2022, the sun is about to explode, and dan and phil go to the woods to reflect on the end

What are we doing? (ao3) - i_rat

Summary: Two silly gays in the forest.

[lohstandfound]

⭐️

oh oh oh okay. there's so many i want to talk about

okay. first off, i want to talk about rolling. lucas has always been such an interesting character to me in bare. like. 'hey, i got the goods. i don't wanna take care of you all night so we're going to go over drug safety 101 again, okay?', claims he's not going to babysit his friends but goes to take care of ivy, he's the school drug dealer but the sin he confesses to is extra nyquil.

he goes up to jason, holding the very thing jason will use to overdose. he says 'you know we're still cool, right?'. he's not sure the best way to say it but he tries to tell his best/close friend that it's okay, you've still got me

how do you think he felt to find out he supplied jason with the thing he used to kill himself. and it's not like jason didn't know how much would be lethal.

anyway, i think about lucas a lot

i decided michael would be the better person to take that sort of role in the bapo au. it makes sense, honestly. but it just makes the story a little more tragic.

michael is gay, jenna is the only one who knows. michael is probably just as terrified as rich and jake are about coming out in the environment they have spent most of their life in.

unsure whether saint cecelia's was supposed to be just a high school or not. my catholic school went from year 7 - 13. which is probably middle school to high school. there's another school in my town that is year 1 - 13 (so i guess elementary to high school). either way it's highly likely that they went to a catholic primary school. a catholic education system is all they're familiar with

ample time for them to have it drilled into them gay = bad.

if michael just paid a little bit more attention to jake and rich, maybe he would have noticed they were a lot closer than just best bros. maybe he would have noticed that when jake and rich had their falling out, rich was a lot more upset for it being a best friend fight. if michael paid a little more attention, maybe he would have noticed. if michael paid a little more attention, he could have told them that they weren't the only ones.

the 'you know we're still cool, right?' is a lot more loaded when it comes from michael knowing that his close friend is just like him. and michael knows what it's like to feel so alone with such a heavy secret. there were so many things that michael to say to offer some sort of support, he could have told them. but 'you know we're still cool, right?' was the best he could come up with. and that wasn't enough.

anyway. onto the fic itself. the bapo fic doesnt really focus on anyone else during the rave. makes sense since it is mostly focused on rich and jake. but i wanted to explore a little more on michael and his relationship with his faith and his sexuality, which is something he struggles with. his parents didn't take it well, he cannot tell his friends, jenna is the only one who knows, and sneaking out of the school grounds is the only time he can shed that persona of who he has to be to make it through school.

he's another opposite to jake in that sense. because even though they're far away from the prying eyes of their classmates and teachers, and many of their friends are too high to even pay any attention, Jake still takes Rich outside to kiss him. Whereas Michael finds a guy to spend the night with until he notices brooke's panic when chloe suddenly isn't doing too well.

this is a statement that goes for the bare characters too, but all of them are under so much pressure to live up to the expectations set for them by the catholic church. even when they think they've got an escape away from the church figures always watching them, they're not alone. which is something michael thinks about

he's struggling a lot with the relationship of his faith and sexuality, which i imagine would lead to some doubts in his faith at some point.

it's complicated

(and i get it)

(also i need to note that the choice of 'sebastian' being michael's confirmation name was in reference to st sebastian being referred to as the patron saint of the gays putting it simply. and that is definitely why michael chose sebastian. i have no reasoning for jenna choosing veronica. veronica was the first saint i thought of)

just for fun i want to talk about im so obsessed with your ex. the entire concept came to me because every time i listen to that song, i can't help but read it a little bit sapphic. anyway, a lot of olivia rodrigo songs give off chloe vibes. and i had the concept of it working with madeline as well while i was walking to work. made a post, someone agreed to it, couldn't stop thinking about it, decided to write it. (and somehow the song made it to the top of my on repeat playlist on spotify)

i love writing sapphics and confusing feelings of attraction with feelings of jealousy. it works so well for madeline, chloe, and brooke. but this fic is solely from madeline's pov. and i haven't really written for madeline before, if ever.

it was a mixture of the idea that everything madeline does is for the bit and pissing chloe off, and madeline misplacing her feelings of jealousy because she's totally jealous that chloe gets to date jake, when really chloe is the one she wants. and chloe is the one she thinks about the entire time she's with jake. jake's just a trophy, or a stepping stone to what she really wants. because yeah, jake is fine. he's decent. madeline's not sure she gets the hype but whatever

madeline is one of the only people who can say they have dated or at least hooked up with the king and queen of the school

[tiriansjewel]

find it here on Spotify!

lyric explanations below the cut! (click images for better quality)

~~

~~

1. The 1 by Taylor Swift

“But it would've been fun

If you would've been the one”

As we start the playlist, Luke and Alex are taking a wistful look back on their relationship in the 90s now that they’ve moved on to other people.

2. Coming Clean by Green Day

“Seventeen and strung out on confusion

Trapped inside a roll of disillusion

I found out what it takes to be a man

Now mom and dad will never understand”

Back in the 90s, both Luke and Alex are coming to terms with their sexualities.

3. Smells Like Teen Spirit

“With the lights out, it's less dangerous

Here we are now, entertain us”

Sunset Curve were working towards popularity right at the height of the grunge scene, and I would assume that both Luke and Alex heard quite a bit of this song as teenagers.

4. Now or Never by Sunset Curve

“Keep dreaming like we'll live forever

But live it like it's now or never”

How could I not include Sunset Curve’s own song? They like living in the moment, and that includes their love lives.

5. Everlong by the Foo Fighters

“And I wonder

If everything could ever feel this real forever

If anything could ever be this good again

The only thing I'll ever ask of you

You've got to promise not to stop when I say when”

When you go through adolescence, you crave intimacy with other people. This song exemplifies what Luke and Alex want from each other- to be able to feel, and to be able to experience those feelings on a deeper level.

6. Ocean Size by Jane’s Addiction

“Wish I was ocean size

They cannot move you, man

No one tries

No one pulls you

Out from your hole

Like a tooth aching a jawbone”

Jane’s Addiction was another LA rock band of this time period, and these lyrics about wanting to be powerful like the ocean and having to leave your home really remind me of Luke.

7. All Apologies by Nirvana

“What else should I be?

All apologies

What else should I say?

Everyone is gay”

This song is Kurt Cobain ironically apologizing for his cynical attitude, including the line “everyone is gay” to mock homophobes. It reminds me of Alex- he doesn’t want to be “married and buried”; he is rebelling against his parents’ definition of a correct lifestyle.

8. Freaking Out The Neighborhood by Max DeMarco

“And I know it's no fun

When your first son

Gets up to no good

Starts freaking out the neighborhood”

Emily Patterson and Alex’s mom were probably both pretty appalled by their sons effectively joining the counterculture. At this point, both Luke and Alex are starting to express themselves more, comfortable in who they are and what they want.

9. Hangout With You by Diners

“All I want

Is to talk with you now

And I know that you've got time

You are constantly on my mind

Yes I know that you've got time

To hang out with me

Tonight”

Luke has begun to realize that he likes Alex, and in true Luke fashion, can’t stop thinking about it.

10. Affection by Between Friends

“I'm laying on the floor

We're drinking 'cause we're bored

Oh, I'm looking for affection in all the wrong places

And we'll keep falling on each other to fill the empty spaces”

One night, it all comes out- their feelings and desires- and they decide to begin some kind of friends with benefits type of situation. This song feels like it’s from Luke’s perspective to me.

11. gold rush by Taylor Swift

“What must it be like

To grow up that beautiful?

With your hair falling into place like dominos

I see me padding 'cross your wooden floors

With my Eagles t-shirt hanging from the door

At dinner parties

I call you out on your contrarian shit

And the coastal town

We wandered 'round had never

Seen a love as pure as it

And then it fades into the gray of my day old tea

'Cause you know it could never be”

Luke is a magnetic person, attracting everyone, and Alex finds him beautiful. He is in awe of him, but he’s also scared about having feelings he doesn’t know how to handle. This song kind of shows Alex’s internal monologue.

12. Can We Kiss Forever? by Kina

“I tried to reach you, I can't hide

How strong's the feeling when we dive

I crossed the ocean of my mind

My wounds are healing with the salt

All my senses intensified

Whenever you and I, we dive”

This song describes their first kiss, obscured from the world, in my mind. Plus, there’s ocean metaphors. You can’t go wrong with that.

13. 18 by Anarbor

“So if you wanna piss off your parents

Date me to scare them

Show them you're all grown up

If long hair and tattoos are what attract you

Baby, then you're in luck

And I know it's just a phase

You're not in love with me

You wanna piss off your parents, baby

That's alright with me”

Luke knows Alex isn’t in love with him, but they both want to try new things. Bonus points for this song having references to frayed parent-child relationships.

14. Boys Will Be Boys by Miles McKenna

“That graduation day, it never came for you and me

Couple drop-out kids, a shotgun wedding's all we need

Sorry, Mom, Sorry, Dad

Better luck next time

A couple packs a day, pierced nose and tattoos on our legs

No strangers to pretend, we've always been too proud to beg

Sorry, Mom, Sorry, Dad

Better luck next time

Boys will be boys”

This song referencing a “couple of drop out kids” just going with the flow made me think of how Sunset Curve probably never would have finished high school.

15. Just Like You by Three Days Grace

“You thought you were there to guide me, you were only in my way

You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you

I could be mean

I could be angry

You know I could be just like you.”

Both Luke and Alex have tons of resentment for their parents, obviously.

16. Sunstroke by Less Than Jake

“We've all been living proof

That time won't wait or choose

We know it ticks on without me and you

And I can't have both sides

Letting go or holding tight

I'm burning bright tonight”

This song about being stubborn and time not waiting really reminded me of Luke, plus the foreshadowing of them becoming ghosts and adapting to a whole new world.

17. Saint Bernard by Lincoln

“Saint Calvin told me not to worry about you

But he's got his own things to deal with

There's really just one thing that we have in common

Neither of us will be missed”

This song just made me think about Alex and his Catholic guilt.

18. Bedroom Hymns by Florence and the Machine

“This is a good a place to fall as any

We'll build our altar here

Make me your Maria

I'm already on my knees

You had Jesus on your breath

And I caught Him in mine

Sweating out confessions

The undone and the divine

This is his body, this is his love

Such selfish prayers and I can't get enough, oh”

Part 2 of Alex and his Catholic guilt. Their relationship has become more carnal, and this song maybe gives a little of Alex’s perspective into that time.

19. Church by Fall Out Boy

“And if death is the last appointment

Then we're all just sitting in the waiting room

I am just a human trying to avoid my certain doom

If you were church, yeah

I'd get on my knees”

Here ends the trilogy of songs with religious references. This song is heady and sensual and also includes some nice foreshadowing of their deaths.

20. Bros by Wolf Alice

“Shake your hair, have some fun

Forget our mothers and past lovers, forget everyone

Oh, I'm so lucky, you are my best friend

Oh, there's no one, there's no one who knows me like you do

Are your lights still on?

I'll keep you safe

If you keep me strong”

Here’s another song from Luke’s perspective- talking about forgetting mothers, being best friends, and keeping Alex safe, as long as Alex keeps him strong.

21. Slip Away by Perfume Genius

“Don't look back, I want to break free

If you'll never see 'em coming
You'll never have to hide

Take my hand, take my everything

If we only got a moment

Give it to me now

They'll never break the shape we take

Baby, let all them voices slip away”

Alex struggles with losing his family over his sexuality, and Luke helps him through it.

22. Make Out In My Car by Sufjan Stevens

“I'm not trying to

Go to bed with you

I just wanna make out in my car

And though I'm dying to

Fall in love with you

I just wanna make out in my car”

Another great song about just wanting to exist with someone, about wanting touch and feel and create. They don’t want to fall in love, they just want to be.

23. I Exist I Exist I Exist by Flatsound

“I remember the way you shook

Its a shame that we're not soul mates

Because if i didn't know better

I'd say this feels pretty good

How could i be scared?

When i stretch and feel that you're there

So shut your mouth

Because these words will speak themselves

I can feel them in these blankets

And they're surrounding your figure

Embraced in the quilts

And i cant help but think

You're my missing puzzle piece”

This song is so beautiful- with references to helping a partner through anxiety, and being just like ones mother... a lot of this dynamic in my mind is Luke and Alex reminding each other that they exist, that life is wide and bright, that they’re alive. This gives a window into Luke’s inner feelings as well.

24. Come on, Mess Me Up by Cub Sport

“I found comfort, I fell in love with avoiding problems

But I want this, you know I want this

So come on, mess me up

And you can break me, if you'll still take me

Ruin me, if you'll let me be one of the ones you say you won't forget”

At some point, they become more reckless about their feelings, a little less level headed about their arrangement. Intimacy is an escape.

25. Please Never Fall In Love Again by Ollie MN

“This is what it's like to be lovers

You and me need never be lonely again

Spin with me endlessly or at least until the end

Please never fall in love again”

As usually happens with these arrangements, feelings are caught. Luke and Alex consider making things more serious.

26. Can I Call You Tonight? by Dayglow

“Batteries drain, I get the memo

I think that I might have to let you go

So can I call you tonight?

I'm trying to make up my mind

Just how I feel

Could you tell me what's real?”

The end of their relationship is near, and Alex is unsure. You can decide if this takes place before or after they die.

27. Wicked Game by Chris Isaak

“I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you

And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you

No, I don't wanna fall in love with you”

Eventually these relationships all start to feel like games, don’t they?

28. Perfect by The Smashing Pumpkins

“So far I still know who you are

But now I wonder who I was

Angel, you know it's not the end

We'll always be good friends”

Another song about the end of a relationship, and finding yourself again. There’s a bit of resentment there, but they are learning to be friends again.

29. Miss Missing You by Fall Out Boy

“Maybe I'll burn a little brighter tonight

Let the fire breathe me back to life

Baby you were my picket fence

I miss missing you, now and then”

They’ve gotten over each other and become friends again, but are still nostalgic for the past. Bonus points for references about coming back to life.

30. Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) by Green Day

“For what it's worth

It was worth all the while

It's something unpredictable

But in the end it's right

I hope you had the time of your life”

Ah yes, the song everyone uses to commemorate bittersweet ends- it’s the perfect clincher for this playlist.

I hope you all enjoy listening!

[verdisketch]

gorblimey id love a readmore function on the phone app, lugging my forsaken laptop out is a time and a half, hello and doin' replies

kaoottinenpeitto

i have 30 tomato seedlings ready to go for spring already!

that is fucking EXCELLENT dude. I am so jealous. my housemate does tomato plants and so far only two or three have survived to give us tomatoes, and of them, a lot go to the birds. pretty delicious when we get some, though.

polar-night-scout

I'm depressed but trying to shake it off, also thinking about finishing some old art. I don't think your posts are negative btw. It's necessary discussion that validates the concerns of many people, at least it made me feel less alone

Aw, I'm sorry to hear that. I believe in you shaking it off. I'm in that weird recovery stage where you're kinda-not-depressed but also kinda-not-neurotypical-yet and i wish this upon you as well.

Thanks for saying so - I don't like the comic because of the comedically bad writing, but also because I feel like it would crystalize a lot of harmful views for people in cults/christian cults in particular (which.....reading M1nna's last address, it really does sound like she's been sucked into a cult. very classic 'i was garbage and awful until I found [x] thing and now im better and more enlightened' cult language.) I was never part of a cult, thank god, but the isolating experience of being queer in a catholic church with pamphlets about the evils of gay marriage really does radicalize a person.

but yeah. I'm incredibly glad I'm not the only person who saw this and went this is Very Bad News. Thank you for reaching out.

wavewright62

I got a Cintiq and have managed to figure out enough to get an image started. Have erased all doodles, but at least I know how now brown cow.

Oh fuck yeah bro, I am excited to see your images.

zenit-of-the-sun

Well, ive graduated! So, thats that on that. And in a unrelated note, im currently watching sk8 to the infinity and it is fun.

I HAVE SEEN YOUR REPLIES/MESSAGES I WILL ANSWER SOON - but also CONGRATULATIONS on graduating!!! - and also i LOVE sk8, what a good show.

bogkeep

ive had more time to draw which is nice

yeah man I've seen on twitter you've been more active, I'm glad

notapaladin

I have fallen ass-first into a fandom best described as "noir murder mysteries in 1480s fantasy tenochtitlan" and i am living my best life imagining "but what if the main character & his ambitious, hyperconfident apprentice-turned-future-emperor KISSED"

hmmm. please give me details this sounds fucking incredible

[lovinmullen]

the pacific: part one, live blog because i said so

he looked so pissed when he has to make the sign of the cross to mary..... I KNOW ITS BECAUSE HES FALLING AWAY FROM HIS RELIGION but all i can think is undercover protestant????? i hate that i find myself funny stfu tom like he’s some angsty protestant like ‘this is fucking bullshit why the fuck DO THEY PRAY TO MARY’ which..... is a huge missconsperion but i’m not gonna get into that right now but hey if anyone needs an rs teacher? i got you

are you telling me i could have heard the most BEAUTIFUL monologue about the saint mary’s church and her plans for the day as well as being able to see that sweet sweet smile on vera’s face for longer but it was cut short because bobo went ‘i joined the marines’ GOOD FOR YOU BUT.....

rOBERT...... you really gonna give her THAT look...... IN GODS HOUSE is this allowed? is THIS ALLOWED???? if you don’t say it in the voice of the vine we can not be fteejssn sorry i don’t make the rules

#BOB: i wanna catholic girl that go to church AND READ HER BIBLE (is that even right??? omg i can only remember the jewish one *in the voice of ryan reynolds severely slowed down* FUUUUUCCCKKK)

on a real note this man saw her at church ONCE and his ass went finna wife up like........ take her out to dinner first. OR AT LEAST ASK HER HOW SHE IS IN THE LETTERS like we get it you’re emo, the aussie won’t shag you anymore and you keep pissing your pants. i understand it’s a hard not life or how ever that song in annie goes but bro.........(this is obviously a joke i am dumb of ass please ignore me i love you m8 and i’m sorry you’re gonna embarrass yourself in front of everyone but chuckler shifts to momma mode so you good)

can we please acknowledge jon’s acting..... sir? PHENOMENAL he’s not even saying anything??? he’s just looking at the lt yet i’m near tears

gentle reminder i love the basilones🥺🥺🥺 the way they are so supportive even though they don’t understand and they are scared for him but they accept and respect that john wants more, needs more and they’re putting their own fears aside so he can spread his wings for no better turn of phrase.

‘just get the job done, and come home to us’ the way his head falls and he has to stop his voice from breaking. i’m s fucking bitter

THE HAND HOLD MY GOD

leckie:((( look hes a bastard and he pisses me off but no matter how much i bully him i do love him a lot and the complete disregard and uncaring nature from his dad breaks my heart. a handshake then gone just like that? HIS FACE BEFORE ‘there’s a war on everybodies got to make sacrifices’ he looks so hurt and broken baby

GENE MY SWEET SWEET BABY GOD THIS SO SAD ALEXA PLAY DESPACITO. my baby just wants to do his part :( CUT THE CAMERAS DEAD ASS I WILL CRY BABY PLEASE DON’T CRY JUST WAIT A FEW MORE EPS my heart really do be looking like: <eugene3

‘gene, supper’s ready’ ma’am i’m sorry but he does not give a shit

SIDNEY MY SWEET SWEET BOY get in a pram if you’re going to be so baby. look while i love him so much and i know he didn’t mean it to be !!!!! he’s just small of brain !!! but when he says “i wish we where going together” that lowkey rubs it in man......... like he’s already heartbroken PLEASE STOP but the “yeah well you take care of yourself greaser” - “you don’t have to worry about me” IM SOFT🥺

“wOWoWOoOOO COME ON GUYS I WORKED HARD FOR THESE ORANGES”

“guadal...kenel...guadal BLEEHHH” didn’t realise hoos was recreating the audience of my english speaking exam. LOOK I REALISE NOW TALKING ABOUT STOICISM TO A BUNCH OF 15 YEAR OLDS WHO DON’T CARE WAS A BAD IDEA BUT I GOT A DESTINCTION SO FUCK YOU TO THAT ONE KID

chuckler baby..... i’m in love with a dumbass. also the hit across the head. i’m soft (lads lets take a shot every time i say i’m soft in this liveblog ITS GONNA BE A FUN NIGHT jk drink responsibly and all that jazz or be dick winters that’s cool too!! heck do a babe heffron and get yourself a caprisun you deserve it)

“professor leckie” please don’t fuel his ego HE DOES NOT NEED IT

HOLD UP I NEED TO SWITCH FROM THE TV TO MY LAPTOP TO SCREEN CAP THIS SHIT LEW MY SON HAVE YOU BEEN BITING INTO AN ORANGE LIKE IT IS AN APPLE??? I WOULD BE MAD BUT HE LOOKS SO CUTE on a real note though can you eat the skin???? will he be okay?????

okay two hoos things: 1.) he looks SO DONE and i’m living for it 2.) can we talk about jacobs nose..... IM DYING TO TALK ABOUT JACOBS NOSE

okay the boats scene give me saving private ryan flashbacks i came out here to have a good time AND I AM NOT HAVING A GOOD TIME oh wait never mind runner just went ‘i could really use a stiff one right now’ i hate that but he saved the day with his dumbassery so thank you good sir i love you with all my heart

fun fact my how co ranking goes chuckler, runner, hoos, leckie

OH FUCK I FORGOT SID SJAKSJSJ y’know for someone who talks about how much they love sid i forget about him a lot. thank you for blessing my screen with your pretty face it helped me remember you exist LMAO guys my memory is not okay i’m actually concerned...... but more importantly i’d put him between hoos and leckie in the ranking :,)

call it what it is. babyism. y’all better stop before i cuddle you LOOK AT THIS SHIT THEY’RE ADORABLE

runner is the only bitch i respect in this house he’s so fucking funny

‘they’ve? poisoned? a? billion?! coconuts?’ that poor son of a bitch BLESS HIM don’t shoot the messenger okay? he seems like a sweet bean

that shot of hoos, leckie and chuckler looking down at the camera into the bunker? my sexuality. my left brain: tomas stop thirsting it’s an intense and serious show. my righ brain: but?? they’re pretty?? me nodding smugly and in agreement: BUT THEY’RE PRETTY.

THIS MAN AND HIS GUM I CAN’T why is that me. i am the gum man at my school that sounds so weird ajsksjsj i just always have gum. ALSO spearmint is superior to normal mint. NORMAL MINT BURNS LIKE ITS SPICY BRO. bubblemint is superior superior but that’s more expensive rip😭😭😭😭😭😭

‘it’s like the fourth of july’ nice to my boy sufjan getting some rep he is king of the gays after all mr i can’t explain the state that i’m in the state of my heart he was my best friend. we all owe him EVERY parallel on this goddamn app. jk there’s one other king of the gays and that is demon! shane (bfu). no this is not up for debate

the shot of the ships is phenomenal. that’s one thing i do have to credit hbo on. the special effects and cinematography are beautiful and so fucking impressive like???

‘we’re killing them��� - ‘where’s the navy?’ / ‘gone we lost four cruisers’ GOD I HAVE SUCH A LOVE HATE RELATIONSHIP FOR FORSHADOWING LIKE SOMETIMES ITS SO SEXY AND OTHER TIMES IM LIKE PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GO AWAY

WHY DOES SID LOOK OVER HIS SHOLDER BEFORE TAKING THE WINE SIR NO ONE IS GONNA TELL YOU OFF AT WAR FOR DRINKING UNDERAGE like???? i don’t think an 18 year old having a swig is their biggest problem bless his heart

‘can’t fight em drunk don’t fight em at all’

bill if you are reading this i’m free on thursday night and would like to hang out. please respond to this and then hang out with me on thursday night, when i am free😌😘🥰😳🥺👉👈😤💘💓🙄🥴

FUCK I FORGOT HOW LOUD THE GUN SHOTS WHERE THINK I JUST WOKE THE WHOLE NEIGHBOURHOOD JC

‘skipper? skipper are you okay?? goddamnit he’s lost it come on’ :(((((

god the shots in this show really are phenomenal. i know it’s very gory and very hard to watch at times but it definitely has the best shots of the three en mi opinion. i’m a slut for the close up of dick screaming ‘move out’ with rounds flying. like who’s ever call that was? outstanding but like that’s just one? the pacific has so many emotive and excellently shot scenes.

JOG ON. STOP. IM SO SOFT IM GOING TO CRY THIS IS NOT OKAY. MOMMA CHUCKLER I CAN’T🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

how seemlessly the scenes flow one after the other despite being opposite ends of the spectrum i DID NOT GIVE TP ENOUGH CREDIT like yeah it makes me sad as fuck but from a production point of view the writing? the acting? the cinematography? DAMN

how visibly torn and pissed off hoosier looks over the other marines tormenting the japanese soldier, stringing out his death when he’s obviously in a lot of mental as well as physical pain? the only bitch i respect in this house.

okay so like? while the shot is scarring both for him and the audience to see that kind of effortless murder it was the right thing to do? it’s better then have him be tormented and it will help leckie in the long run? how broken he looks though? like the distance is his eye and the way he swollows....... WHO IS CUTTING ONIONS HUH???? brilliant james BRILLIANT

the way i just said ‘if biology would have permitted it i would be asking you to have my babies’ at the sight of a man shoving smokes up his nose....... now ladies theyzies and gents, a prime reason to show why you should do your work. this is tom. tom didn’t do his work. with nothing to do all day tom became bat shit..... don’t be like tom. okay like it is cute though COME ON

HOW PROUD AND SMUG AND HAPPY HE LOOKS AT HIS PREMOTION ‘yes ma’am i am a corporal’ HE IS SO BABY AND FOR WHAT. oops sorry lads looks like i dropped this:

the shot of leckie swimming in the water fading off to the shot of the dead bodies mirroring his movement but obviously a life less version OOOH IMMA SUE

god love me some men with black lungs LECKIE DO BE LOOKING GOOD LIGHTING THAT CIG DAMN

“i have a girlfriend lucky me” HOOS IS LIKE MY GAY ASS YOU SURE????

“you guys step aside the real marines are here now” “AND I’VE BEEN HERE FOR SOME TIME” that shuts iconic even i said wahayyyy

also runner..... i am looking RESPECTFULLY👁👁

you’re not special leckie we all want hoosier

sister👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

baby gene :,( YOU GINGER LIL BEBE I LOVE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH

can you really call yourself a hbo war an if you don’t sing along at the end... ITS A TUNE also hoos’ voice...... its about the drawl....... 

[hellhorsetarot]

Reaching out to Passed Loved Ones through Tarot

I have tried this before, but this time went so much better!  There was clarity and it was so smooth, though the session was regretfully short.

When I saw a post by @hillbillyoracle yesterday, I knew I wanted to implement the recommended techniques to reach out to spirits via tarot.  It helped me so much!

I had decided I really wanted to hear from my late Grandma B or her sister, Aunt E.  I never met Aunt E, as she died before I was born from mixing medications with substances.  I really think a lot of her, though, because she had schizophrenia which is part of my primary diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder (schizophrenia and bipolar!).

Honestly, I was hoping for Aunt E to give me advice how to find happiness with my disorder.  How do I keep living when I can’t get ahead because of my disability?

Grandma B had something more urgent to tell me.  And I have known about it for a while, but only recently have I begun to look at it seriously.

---

My mom was nearby as was her pendulum when I began the reading.  We noticed her pendulum, who we call Krystal (she/her), was suddenly moving wildly.  Krystal doesn’t like me even though I paid for her, and Mom asked her if it was Grandma B (her mom) or Aunt E.  We defined what motion meant what. 

Krystal said it was Grandma B.

I opened with a small prayer while holding my rosary, and I know Grandma would appreciate this.  Then I pulled my go-to deck, but no cards came from it and it felt unyielding.  I kept glancing at another deck, so I exchanged them.

Grandma gave me two cards, both numbered 7.  The Chariot and the 7 of Wands (reversed).  This is from the Pagan Cats tarot deck.

I asked for something to clarify from my Bluebird fortune teller deck.

Mice.  Interesting, it was coming together so clearly.

I wondered about my runes.  Grandma gave me the go ahead and I did what I do.  Three fell to the counter.  Two were face-down.  8 on the Chariot and 14 on the seven of Wands.  But then, off my tarot mat (so wonderfully gifted to me by my friend, @eramegido !) a rune had landed face-up on my rosary prayer guide.  Upon further inspection, it had landed specifically over the words “our Lord”.

I see what you’re saying, Grandma!  My grandmother (actually, all my grandparents) was a devout Catholic woman.  Before she passed when two of my cousins came out as gay, she learned to be supportive and never stopped loving them.  I like to think she’d be accepting of me as genderqueer, bisexual, and possibly polyamorous haha.  

Anyway, so I looked at everything as a whole and individually.  The world keeps going, it fell under my small jar of sodalite.  A truth, it was a truth.  And hidden with it was the fact that I cannot change what is meant to be.  It is out of my hands.  I can only trust (in this case, my Lord) and have faith that all will be well.  Meanwhile, The other card said that I’m in a losing battle.  There could be two applications for this but the rune clarified: roots, family.  This is a family battle and it isn’t a fair fight at all.  And these fell below my rose quartz, which is a stone about love.  Mice, they are a card about stealing from you with pleasure.

Growing up, my mom raised mice and she had two favorites: the momma mouse and her son.  My mom’s favorite child is her youngest son.... Interestingly enough, this card was laid beneath a small plaque I was given that depicts Mary and her son, (as baby) Jesus.

-

And it is just all SO clear to me!  I understood throughout the process and I knew as I concluded exactly what Grandma was telling me.

Mom and younger bro are toxic to the point of abusive to me.  Are there times I can tolerate them?  Yeah, I have to to survive.  But I need out.

And that’s more true now than ever.  I need out even though I don’t have the means and my dad believes he needs to support his wife and son as much as his disabled child too.  I understand where he’s coming from, but my life is sometimes put at risk by them and they are not good to him either.

---

When I finished, I ended with a prayer on my rosary and thanked Grandma as well as our Lord for allowing this to happen and getting the message to me so well.

Mom noticed as I started packing up and she pointed out that Krystal had come to a rest.  No more moving about, especially not so wildly.

This was such an experience!  I’ll have to call it bittersweet, honestly.  I miss Grandma so much, and I am sure it hurts her to have to protect me from her own daughter and grandson... I am so appreciative though.

I recall how she tried to be more involved in my life as I got out of high school.  I think she knew there were family problems and I think she knew I had a disorder that was just getting so bad.  She had probably seen it in me as she had seen it in her own sister....

I am thankful she is watching out for me and so thankful she reached out to me today.

I love you, Grandma, rest well and trust that I will try my best!

[funeral-clown]

at last, beth, the triad is complete

gay lawyers

Kevin Punt was an asshole. Violent. Angry. Sadistic.

You know, an asshole.

When Nelson and Murdock put him away for a few years, Foggy started resting a bit easier. Not much, because, well. Drop in the ocean. And. Well. Crime fighting partner with a masochistic streak. And. W e l l.

He didn’t sleep much.

But he slept better after locking Kevin Punt behind bars.

So when his parole hearing came up, he and Matt were quick to retake the case. The evidence was irrefutable, and the last thing they wanted was a monster like him back on the streets. 

Kevin Punt’s family was, to say the least, not pleased.

“Ma’am,” Matt interjected in his best ‘I am a sexy blind lawyer, please give me your attention and listen to me and maybe take your shirt off if you want haha just kidding but seriously listen to me’ voice (although that may just be Foggy’s interpretation). “I’m sorry you have to go through this again. But the fact of the matter is, your cousin was guilty. No one wants to face their family members’ dark side, but in Mr. Punt’s case, his violent tendencies and criminal persuasions make him a danger to the public.”

“My cousin,” the young woman hissed back, tears burning in her eyes like rage, “Was innocent. You’re liars. You’re as corrupt as everyone else in this damn city!”

“Hey,” Foggy began, “I know it’s hard to hear-”

His frankly very soothing tone apparently did not work. It was possible his frustration was poking through.

“He’s innocent! He would never hurt anyone, he’s just confused!”

“Sure,” Matt sighed, exhausted, “He didn’t commit egregious acts of violence. He just stumbled into that store owner with a baseball bat. Multiple times.”

“That’s unsubstantiated!”

“There was VIDEO!”

“Doctored evidence!”

“Miss Punt,” Matt broke through, a hint of his alter ego breaking through the thin veneer of civility, “I offer my condolences again. One can’t choose their relatives, and I admire your support. But I’m going to have to insist you leave.”

She stiffened.

“Fine,” she snapped, “But we’ll see how you silver-tongued lawyers do in court when the truth comes out.”

“Pretty sure we’ll rock it, ok, thanks for coming in! Bye!” Foggy watched as she stormed out the door. “Aaaaand she’s gone. Jesus, the whackadoo apple must consist of the whole family tree.”

Matt hummed.

“It was a little weird though, wasn’t it?”

“What?”

“What she said. That last bit.”

Foggy shrugged.

“You didn’t see it, but she had desperate written all over her. She’s just another grieving family member with false hope. Sad, but not exactly uncommon. I expected her to say fake news next.”

Matt stared at the door, considering.

“Yeah,” he muttered.

“Anyway, are you hungry? I could murder some pad thai.”

Matt snorted, and the daily lunch argument began. The strange encounter soon fled to the back of his mind.

For the moment.

-

When Matt came in for work the next morning, his body was still sore from a relatively painful night. Not too much activity, with his reputation, but it just meant the people who were out and about were more prepared than usual. The armor could only do so much against a taser. Still, the ache was good. It was the ache of a job well done, an ache that saved lives. He took a quiet pride in it, in what his body could do. That said, the day would look much better after a cup of coffee.

“Wow,” Foggy remarked fondly, “You look like hell.”

Matt groaned.

“Do you ever get sick of making that pun?”

“Nah,” he said, “It feels fresh every time. Besides, you like the puns.”

“No, they’re childish and lame,” Matt says. 

This is not what comes out of Matt’s mouth.

“Yes, the teasing is a comforting reminder of how far we’ve come since you first discovered my vigilantism. I was afraid of losing you, and the fact that we can now openly joke about it is reassuring.”

Foggy stared, cup halfway to his mouth.

“Uh. Wow, buddy. Thanks for the. Honesty?”

Matt frowned.

“That’s. Not what I meant to say.”

“No, don’t wig out now. It’s kinda refreshing, not having to guess what you’re thinking.”

“Yeah,” Matt said dubiously, “I keep a lot of things private from you because I fear for your safety, and I know it frustrates you but I’m not willing to put you in harm’s way for my own sake.”

Matt glared down at his hands. Foggy’s eyes widened in shock.

“Are you feeling okay?”

Matt’s eyes snapped up.

“Foggy.”

“Matthew,”

“Lie to me.”

Foggy stood up, leaning over his desk.

“What’s that?”

“Lie to me. Something’s wrong. I need to make sure it’s just me.”

He could feel Foggy look him over.

“You look the same, pal. And by that I mean extremely attractive.”

Foggy breathed in sharply. Matt smirked.

“Let me guess.”

“I didn’t mean to say that!”

“Foggy. Something is very wrong.”

“I stole your pillow in college because it smelled like you and it helped me fall asleep!”

“Fog, I. You. Jesus, Foggy!”

“I need to leave right now immediately.”

Before he could stop him, his partner had grabbed his jacket and was out the door.

“Wait!” he called out. But Foggy was already gone.

-

Danny hummed thoughtfully over the phone, staring in consideration at the paper in front of him.

“Well, it’s a good thing you called me.”

Matt sighed.

“I couldn’t think of anyone else, and if I could have I would have called literally anyone else.”

“Hey!”

“Rand, I can’t help it! I’m compelled to honesty!”

“Doesn’t mean you have to be a jerk. Well, more of a jerk than usual.”

Matt grit his teeth.

“You’re a man with the heart of a child and the power of at least a MINOR god, I don’t think you’re very responsible and quite frankly while I’m very proud of the strides you’ve taken with your company and wouldn’t want it in any other hands I’m morally opposed to billionaires.”

Danny nodded, beginning to fold creases into the paper.

“Yeah, sounds like a truth spell buddy. You piss off any witches?”

“None that I know of.”

Danny shrugged.

“I just shrugged.”

“I could hear it.”

“You can hear shrugs?”

“Danny.”

“Look, best I can say is let it runs it’s course. These type of things are meant to teach us lessons.”

“I don’t have time for zen bullshit!”

“Sure, Catholic. Also tampering with the spell might make it permanent. Which.”

“Fuck.”

“Have fun saying your Hail Mary’s for that.”

“Good bye, Daniel.”

“Bye, Matt!”

He waited for the click before presenting the table with a perfectly folded paper football.

“You ready for this, Luke?”

“Oh, I was born ready.”

-

“Foggy,” Matt’s phone politely informed him. “Foggy. Foggy. Fo-”

“Answer,” he snapped.

“It’s a truth spell!” Foggy blurted.

“Yeah, I know. I talked to Danny.”

“Rand? Really?”

“He was on a magical temple for most of his life. How did you figure it out?”

“I just asked Stephen Strange.”

“What?”

“I’m his lawyer. And I never grumble at him, so he likes me better.”

“What did Strange have to say?”

“He said it would probably run about a week, and if he tampered with it it might become permanent.”

“Sounds about the same.”

“You know who did this, right?”

“Punt.”

Foggy growled.

“I am getting really sick of that family, Matt.”

“It’ll be over soon.”

“This is going to make working on the case hell.”

“Why?”

“Because now I have to actively resist telling everyone I know that you’re Daredevil. And I have to actively resist telling you that I-”

The dial tone clicked.

Foggy had apparently found a loophole.

-

It was awkward. They both left the room multiple times. Matt didn’t know what Foggy was keeping secret, but he sure as hell wasn’t about to admit he was in love with him. Even if it was obvious to everyone else.

“You know,” Foggy remarked over noodles, “This curse sucks, but like. It kinda evens the playing field.”

Matt quirked an eyebrow.

“Well, I mean. You can tell I’m lying whenever you want. But. Now I know for sure you’re not lying to me, either.”

“I’m sorry I hurt your trust enough that you worry about that.”

“I’m sorry you felt you couldn’t trust me.”

“I didn’t want to put you in harm’s way.”

“I’d put myself in harm’s way for you any day. We’re bros.”

Matt bit his tongue.

“Matt?”

Matt bit harder.

“Matt, what the fuck your mouth is bleeding! What’s going on?”

“I’m trying to keep things to myself,” he grunted, hoarse.

“Jesus, Matt, do I need to leave?”

“I never want you to leave.”

“What?”

“I never want you to leave.”

Foggy paused, wheeling the chair around the desk to be knee to knee with him. He radiated caution.

“Well. I never want to have to leave you, buddy.”

“I don’t,” Matt choked out, throat closing from the strain of keeping the words down, “Want to be your buddy.”

Foggy smelled hurt.

“What?”

“Foggy. I don’t just want to be your buddy.”

Foggy gulped.

“I’ve been trying really hard, here, Matty.”

“I know.”

“I don’t. Want to misunderstand. But it hurts to not say what I want to say. What I’ve always wanted to say. And I don’t. I don’t want to say it, if you’re. If you’re not gonna say it back. Not gonna feel it back.”

“Foggy,” Matt whispered.

“Matt.”

“I knew you took my pillow.”

“I know you knew.”

“I never asked to switch back.”

“No, you didn’t.”

Foggy’s hand shook as it reached forward and rested on Matt’s. His skin nearly screamed at the sensation, aching all over from the long time sense he had last been touched like this. Carefully. As if he were fragile. As if he could break.

“Foggy,” he breathed.

“I really want to kiss you,” he admitted, half hope and half rue.

“I’ve wanted you to kiss me for almost 7 years.”

“Well,” Foggy leaned in, “Better late than never.”

It was soft, and firm, and a little wet. It was an everyday, normal, average kiss.

Matt lit up everywhere like an electric panel, gasping as the sensation washed over him. Gripping his hair, he pulled Foggy in deeper, opening his mouth in an attempt to steal back his breath.

“I love you,” he whispered into his mouth, “I think I might have loved you my entire life. I just didn’t know it yet.”

Foggy’s hands tightened around his thighs.

“I love you too. I’ve loved you since we first met. I’ve loved you for so long I don’t know how not to love you.”

“Don’t learn,” Matt hissed, fierce. “Don’t learn how. If you left I’d be lost.”

“Don’t worry, Matty,” Foggy laughed, pulling him in closer by his tie, “You’re the fast learner.”

-

The trial wasn’t very long. They presented the evidence, spoke of the victim’s family, mentioned his irrational behavior, spoke of the personal threats they’d received in the mail. 

Every word of it was honest and true.

Kevin Punt did not receive parole.

His cousin stood in the audience, crying as he was taken away, screaming threats.

“It’s true,” she whispered. “He really did those terrible things.”

Foggy lay a comforting hand on her elbow.

“I’m sorry you had to find out this way.”

She nodded, sniffling.

“Also, you’re a bitch for placing that spell on us.”

She stiffened, before sighing and nodding again.

“I just wanted him to have every chance.”

Foggy squeezed her elbow and left.

“I guess I deserved that. You make someone speak truth, he’ll call you a bitch.”

“Oh, he would have called you that anyway.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah, he doesn’t like it when his privacy is invaded. I should know, I’m Da-”

“MATT. I need you to come take me home until this thing wears off!”

Matt turned towards the door.

“Be right there, sweetheart.”

He offered his arm to the woman.

“Thank you.”

“For what? I need you to lead me to my partner.”

“Oh! Right, I’m sorry.”

“Not a problem.”

Bitch, he added silently.

“We’re going to have victory sex after this,” he added.

“The spell wore off after the hearing!”

“I know,” he was giddy, “I just wanted everyone to know. I’m a very lucky man.”

“That you are, Matt,” Foggy took his arm from the stricken woman and gave his hand a squeeze. “That you are.”

“Did you just wink at me?”

“Yup.”

“Good.”

There were some benefits to honesty.

[bugsrepellsgant]

OKIE ive been kicking this au around my brain for months so here’s an outline or whatever

WORKING TITLE: toki and pickles travel cross country to california like kermit and fozzie in the muppet movie OR toki and pickles do america

TL;DR toki and pickles are both 17-ish, the year is 199X, theyre hauling ass to socal to audition for SnB, but instead they accidentally get dethklok together and fall in love :-)

pickles has freshly stepped out and couch surfed his way to greenbay, and just managed to scrape together enough cash for a bus ride to minneapolis (going east to go west is counterintuitive and dumb but so is american public transport) BUT THEN

toki’s one-ish year out of home, has scraped together enough money working for runke to apply for a passport but once he gets to the offices oh no!!! he doesn’t have any proof of citizenship! and he’s a minor! aw fuck now he’s gotta stow away on an oil tanker cus staying isnt an option (yes this is paddington now)

he lands in boston harbor, gets far enough inland on foot and by ferry until he reaches GREEN BAY, WI and he’s a day or two of panhandling away from meeting the ticket fee BUT THEN

its friday night which means its fucking college football night which means SHITTY COLLEGE BROS HAVE DESCENDED UPON THE CITY!

pickles gets briefly needled for being short and ginger but u know he Lives hes been getting this kind of shit forever. HOWEVER toki is immediately singled out as a funny lookin, high voiced, gnome hat weirdo with an accent and he’s trying to laugh along ??? ha ha?? but its so Bad and pickles feels Bad but he’s gotta get outta here-

Oh God one of the bros tried to to take toki’s guitar away and toki flipped shit and its a fight now!! he’s outnumbered but our boy pickles intervenes!!! they’re winning? OH GOD SOMEONE CALLED THE FUCKING COPS

escape! safe; breathless in an alley; “hey whats yooooour name???” “toki!” “heheheheh toke-ki >B-)” “?????” “im pickles” “you namesed pickle???? ‘,:-/“ bla bla bla oh u play guitar? i play drums but i like guitar too there’s a band in LA i wanna play for ya wanna come with???

a car is obtained at... some point

and OH BOY DOES HE!

a long series of shenanigans occur! our boys get stopped, turned around, detoured, misdirected, all kinds of classic farce bullshit, later on we make and pick up friends at pitstops! a fellow highschool dropout with a killer voice in kissimmee, the best guitarist youve heard in your life dodging swedish mandatory service in chicago, a dude with the stankiest bassline (and feet) that side of the mississippi in the texas panhandle, a TOTAL buzzkill geek of a harvard freshman on summering at his family villa near denver, a cool headed, smart as hell, fuckin julliard composer in training who produces music FOR FUN visiting her family in downtown phoenix.

oh my GOD what is seth fucking DOING HERE is that lady his GIRLFRIEND is she PREGNANT what the HELL GO HOME IF YOU TELL MOM WHERE WE ARE ILL KILL YOU DEAD

seth’s also hanging out with this other guy who seems...... cool? you think? fun, talented, good at guitar like both our boys, pickles’ kinda guy to be honest? there’s something about him thats hard to trust though.

sharing hotel rooms, sleeping in truck beds, they get curious about each others lives? pickles clocked toki as a weird hick at first blush, and tbh he was right but? he went to highschool with farm kids and knows farm kid-weird from weird-weird and toki’s WEIRD-weird. and sweet. and funny. the polaroid in toki keeps of a man and a woman, the man in a reverend’s hat, makes pickles scared to ask. especially since toki’s been cool enough to mind his own business.

toki’s fascinated by pickles’ bouts of righteous anger. unlike runke, his rage has energy and intent, and the stunt he pulled in green bay was so nice and so COOL! he’s one such real cool guy with a cool leather jacket and cool hair... but Why is he so mad all the time? why does he drink so much, it doesnt even taste good? why does he STEAL drinks when they have no money? what happened to toki’s nice, cool, brand new friend pickle? something like what happened to toki? but? pickles is so Cool and Nice and NORMAL and toki is so Weird and Stupid and Wrong in ways toki’s horrified to let him discover. its better not to ask him, he guesses.

feelings get stronger as all the bad things come to light. crying hugs are had. pickles drops what was going to be bus money on a replacement V for toki and toki drops his panhandling dough on a goldtop for pickles.

WE FINALLY GET TO LA AND......? what the fuck

the glam/hair scene is dead in the water. Snakes n Barrels supernova’ed. no more audition. no more career. shit shit shit.

but all the friends weve made along the way are here for our boys! they’ll just start their OWN BAND!!!! TAMPA! MORDHAUS! DETHKLOK’S A-GO!! everythings comin up milhouse!

our boys are Officially *an item* and they ride into the sunset together, stirrup to stirrup, side by side. big gay kiss. the end :-)

OTHER THINGS THAT HAPPEN:

amber goes into labor during one of seth’s drop in visits and everyone gets emo about family as a concept, pickles and seth gave a heart to heart, no one is too metal for feelings when the baby comes bc life is beautiful

magnus pulls some scary/mean bs but its nothing too awful and theres forgiveness and lessons learnt and stuff.

the duel! but theres THREE GUITARISTS?????!!!!!!!!!! MAYBE FOUR?

toki and pickles will both have religious drama but pickles’ drama is more of a sidenote in his list of Issues (pickles’ family is probably catholic and i was raised catholic and i GOTTA project. i GOTTA)

lgbt themes because IM GAY and THEYRE GAY PRRRRBBBBT

murderface? finds love?? GAY LOVE???

this post is too long g-g-g’byeeeee!

[catholic-character-tournament]

Round 3 - Catholic Character Tournament

Propaganda below ⬇️

Enrico propaganda

He grew up in the church and became a priest. so devoted to his faith he ended the UNIVERSE to achieve the perfect world aka heaven

Hes Catholic but also so gay for this one vampire that he ended the world for him

He is LITERALLY one big metaphor for the catholic church as a villain. He’s a guy who believes himself to be a martyr on a fundamentally altruistic quest that will better humanity and the world, but in truth hes a destructive force blind to his faults and hypocritical of the atrocities he commits. Even his altruisim is just a lie (that he does believe himself though) because it all just stems from a deep rooted desire he has to alliviate the guilt he feels. Also hes obsessed with ”the world to come” to the point that hes downright nihilistic towards the current world he actually lives in, as well as the other people in it. which i mean. lol. Ultimately hes an insane delusional queen and he should win this because he is just That catholic. also he is a catholic priest :)

his names pussy bc he served cunt (in a catholic god honoring way)

I want my bestie’s guy in bere

No one could feel guilt to this level if not catholic

Religious Allegory mostly woth how his power(white snake) is contradictory it has white to make you think of good things but it contrast with snake a creature that tempted adam and eve. Although he is a Man of faith his stand’s design is far from it being incredibly intimidating and lined with the genetic of dna whihc is scientific compared to faith.

Bro tries to kill a child

serial killer priest bro

HE IS INSANE He spent his whole life believing in fate and when his world turned around Shakespeare tragedy style he made it his mission to bring 「HEAVEN TO EARTH」, which means TEARING AWAY THE FABRIC OF REALITY SO THAT EVERYONE IS AWARE OF THEIR OWN FATE. How does he get there? Simple! By using a half-baked horse to SPEED UP TIME UNTIL THE UNIVERSE RESETS AND LAUNCHES EVERYONE INTO A NEW WORLD. How did he GET this horse??? Oh, as one does - his (dead) best friend’s toe bone grew into a baby made of leaves that vored him, but he survived and grew even more eyebrows than he already had. And that’s without getting into the STUFF that makes him a phenomenal, S-tier, fine wine that EXPLODES and causes you to see VISIONS type of character. That’s just the surface. But, ah, that’s Catholics for ya. Vote Enrico Pucci for king of the Catholic tournament. 👍🏻

Dana Scully Propaganda

in a world of monsters and paranormal activity and alien conspiracies her faith is still important to her and I love her for it (well. that and many other reasons)

She’s a doctor but quit to become an FBI agent so she ends up just doing autopsies on people who died to ghosts or aliens. She is usually super factual and a huge skeptic, but she has repeated crises of faith and has to go to church to chill out. She feels guilty about everything constantly. Her family members remind her to be more catholic and then they end up dying and then she feels even worse. She gets abducted by aliens.

Most of her character arc revolves around struggling to square her faith with a) being a heavily skeptical scientist b) aliens being real (something she resisted very strongly on the grounds that she’s a skeptical scientist) c) being abducted and getting pregnant and nearly dying as a result of said aliens being real. Struggles with this so much that she’s in the confession booth like :grimace: especially because her investigative partner Mulder is a) an atheist b) believes in aliens just as strongly as she believes in Jesus

Refuses to believe in aliens because there’s absolutely no proof for it but then spends a whole ass episode trying to convince Fox “Aliens abducted my sister” Mulder that angels are real and can cause miracles. The sheer quantity of scientific qualifications she has only to turn around and say she wholeheartedly thinks biblical angels are 100% legit

[postmodernismruinedme]

As we’re coming up to the two year anniversary of the post that made me famous and led to the new favourite characterization of Legolas as a “baby gay dudebro redneck of the elves”, I feel I should write a follow up based on my flippant agreement to this adorable phrase.

So, I have come to answer a question that has sort of floated in tags since then. Is Legolas actually gay?

And the answer, my friends, is “well, he’s not not gay.”

If Tolkien had the words to describe it today, I would bet good money on him dubbing Legolas as an aromantic asexual, which would be fitting as him being an aro-ace...you know, because of the archery? Ha ha? Please clap.

My argument for this is mostly literary analysis, an understanding of Catholic theology at the time, and a question of demographics. Now of course, the minute I say this, I’m going to have a bunch of people jumping in saying that Legolas is a lesser Glorfindel or a recycled version of the Second Age hero with the same name. For those who say this, a very small part of me might slightly concede but the rest of me says HOW DARE YOU SPEAK THAT WAY ABOUT MY BOY.

So, the literary analysis or as I like to call it “There’s Something About Legolas.” For one thing, Legolas’ lineage is surprisingly empty considering Tolkien wrote the family trees of like everyone ever. We get Oropher - Thranduil - Legolas. That’s it. Now many would argue it’s unlikely he’s Thranduil’s only son as he basically spends his time...well, being Legolas. The other thing that is super weird here is that A) No spouses/wives are known and B) Legolas isn’t married. The first can be explained with Tolkien just never filling it in because women do sometimes go missing in his stuff, sure. The second is a bit weirder because the vast majority of elves do get married and get married before 200. And our boy is a baby, but he’s at least 500. Usually when we get a character like this, there are three possible explanations A) they have no interest in being married or B) Their spouse is significantly younger than them (like my homegirl Arwen being her hot cougar self) or C) they’re going to get killed off. But Legolas never gets married, not even when a large majority of the Fellowship spends their Happily Ever After in happy domestic bliss. Besides Gandalf being well exempt from the whole mortal thing, we have exactly three who do not get married.

1) Frodo - like, I could write a whole other thing on his romantic life and I’m not the expert in our good good boy so I’ll let someone else do that

2) Gimli - demographically, my main man had less than a 33% chance of getting married to a nice dwarven girl. This is not a cultural norm for him so it’s really not weird for this to have worked out the way it did.

3) LEGOLAS - what the heck? Heir to kingdom? Race who is so into marriage they can look at someone and know if they’ve been banging? What? How is this man still on the market?

So then the question becomes this: if Tolkien gave Legolas an exemption from the usual Happily Ever After of wife, babies, healthy happy home life, what is his good life after the war? For Frodo, we get mostly him being a happy uncle and just getting to live that sweet Hobbit life. For Gimli, he gets the best dang caves in the world and gets to make his own settlement and has like the best dwarven life ever. And my argument is that for Legolas, that happily ever after is Gimli. Even in an original draft, Galadriel’s message to Legolas was not warning him about hearing the sound of the sea but that he and Gimli were going on a road trip together post war. And of course we get the whole no greater love piece describing Gimli going with him to the undying lands. There are so many lines and references to them either going where the other goes or dying by the other’s side. Like, if you’ve made it this far, I’m preaching to the choir. Tolkien lays it out for us. This is one of the most important friendships and relationships of the Third/Fourth Age. They love each other and even the laws of mortality are not going to keep them apart because everyone gets a happy ending, gosh darn it. JRR doesn’t let his boys down.

Okay, I’m not saying they are canonically gay for each other. Well, I am a little, but not in the hypersexualized M/M smutty way you might be thinking. Tolkien was a huge fan of using romantic friendship in his work, which is a really old literary tradition and honestly a big thing in real life we should be giving more credit to because it’s the best. By that I mean that he did not view romantic love as being vastly superior to the love between friends. And like that makes sense? Tolkien’s life, in many ways, was inundated with this. As a soldier, Tolkien was part of a military culture that encouraged men to view each other as brothers. As a Catholic, same thing and his theology/philosophy even encouraged the study of the four different types of loves. And even his adult life was filled with close friendships between men. Heck, LOTR would not have been written if it weren’t for his bros just yelling at him to get ‘er done.

Now don’t get me wrong, Tolkien was head over heels in love with his wife. Like disgustingly, adorably in love with his wife. It was just that he had different types of loves in his life and he recognized that these relationships were all important. I honestly believe that Legolas’ and Gimli’s relationship was written with this in mind. I think if Tolkien was to have the words we have now, they would be in a queer platonic relationship because they are not in love in the same way as say Arwen and Aragorn. There is no pining, no lust, no need for romantic love and marriage and babies. But they are soulmates. They belong together. And clearly our boy Legolas has been waiting for him before he can sail off into the sunset.

tl;dr Legolas is a weird elf. The traditional elven narrative of a happy ending wouldn’t work for him so it makes complete sense that he would be in a QPR with Gimli. He’s definitely aro-ace. Tolkien didn’t have the words for this and was writing them in the literary tradition of romantic friendship but he would totally have my back. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

[declan-royal]

(ala poltergeist) she’s heeeeerrreeee.

Lo is back with her third and final baby (and brand new muse ayyyyyy), Declan Royal. he may or may not be based on a character from my screenplay but he’s new to me rping him and i wanted to delve more into his character as i go into rewrites! anyway, here he is!

•(more about the boy under the cut)•

i swear i saw declan royal around campus yesterday. i hear he is very jovial, imaginative & pretentious, which explains why when you think of them, you’d think of film noire & artsy student films. they’re in their junior year and studying cinema and screen studies. (lo, 22, est,she/her/garbage)

○ Declan was born in Boston, Massachusetts to teenage parents. Four years later, his younger sister Rowan was born. His mother later became a nurse and his father had a band. Not a successful one, but he had one.

○ He is Boston Irish Catholic. I think that says so much about him already. This also means he has a slight Irish accent.

○ Rowan is his world. He would do anything to protect his baby sister. Declan has been known to get into fights with people who have badmouthed Rowan. They’ve been the closest of siblings and it’s no surprise, considering what they’ve gone through together.

○ His parents split up shortly after Rowan was born. His mother had primary custody, with help from his maternal grandparents. His father was in and out of the picture, since he was always out touring. However, his father would sometimes take him out on tour for a few weeks in the summer. Declan thought that was the fucking coolest thing ever. There was nothing better growing up then being around “rockstars.” Both of his parents have since remarried and he has gained a plethora of step and half siblings. Either house he goes to, there’s siblings to deal with.

○ Declan’s father has since become an actual musician. Somewhat of a famous one. Declan isn’t so used to the fame life and likes having his mom’s house to escape to when the nights of paparazzi and parties becomes too much. People noticing him in his everyday life will make him blush insanely. And that’s no good for his “artist filmmaker” essence.

○ Speaking of film, Declan is that film kid. To quote my character description of him in my screenplay, he is “a guy who thinks all of his student films were genius.” He tries to hide his pretentiousness but nowadays, he thinks that it’s better to just be himself. His little artsy fartsy self. 

○  There is one thing in this world that had weighed on his mind his entire life and he won’t talk about it. When Declan was about 13, a member of his father’s band assaulted him. He won’t talk about it. He won’t even say what happened. But it’s killing him slowly.

More is sure to come as I think of it, but this is the gist. Now for some:

Wanted Connections

the best friends ;; his partner in crime, the ying to his yang. the pair or more that are typically attached by the hip, consult each other, and couldn’t live without one another.

the bromance ;; ‘bros before hoes’ is their motto. if they were both gay, they would probably have been married three years ago. they might as well be attached by a bro hug.

the partier ;; the sound of too loud music and the taste of warm, cheap beer are the defining characteristics of this friendship. these two may give each other recognition in the halls, but as soon as the word ‘party’ is involved, these two are together. the best of friendships always start smashed.

the one? ;; these two flirt so much, they might as well just get it over with and date. however, many steps have to be taken to get there. are they willing to make those steps?

the big ex ;; these two seemed to be so in love. …or not. maybe they ended on a good note, maybe it went down in flames. all that’s known for certain is that they went from the cutest couple to barely speaking.

drunken love ;; college is the playing ground of drunken hookups and these two are no different. every party or even just a friday night, these two tends to find each other. could this develop into more? there’s no room for questions like that when your lips are locked together.

HMU! ~Lo

[kisathemistress]

Some South Park Headcanons I have

(Because I’m falling for the series again!)

The four main characters:

Kyle Broflovski: 

His personality makes it almost impossible for him to let things go, if it means making someone (other than Cartman) upset or sad. He just want as many people as possible to be happy around him, because if they aren’t he feels like he has failed them. 

This comes from his strict upbringing his parents gave him and from studying/knowing everything (including religious various beliefs) thus he lives his life by the golden rule: “Do not do unto others, that you do not want done to you.”

He believes highly in karma as well, especially the Wiccan belief of karma. Where if you do something kind you will be rewarded with 3 times the kindness, but if you do something hurtful you will be punished with 3 times the misfortune.

Despite being Jewish and claiming his pride with the religion, Kyle doesn’t follow any of the practices most Jewish people do. He willingly eats pork and sometimes attends/helps the local Roman Catholic church (but this could be do to the town only having one church and most of his friends go there.)

Unlike Scott, Kyle’s diabetes isn’t as serious and he can get away with eating something with extra sugars in it without going into diabetic shock. Though he does carry emergency insulin just incase.

Kyle is aromantic and bisexual. He doesn’t know how to react to intimacy or pick up clues that someone likes him “in that way”, he just assumes all positive contact with him is platonic in nature. He has to be directly told that someone is in love with him for him to understand why they are being overly nice to him.

Since he is only an 9/10 year old, he isn’t aware full of his own sexuality, thus acts the way he thinks a “normal boy” should behave. Despite constantly giving away that he isn’t “normal” by his own definition.

Also he still has his pet Elephant, but it has been moved to a Zoo for a breeding program. He goes to visit it him occasionally and is a junior Zookeeper at the park. He’s going to be officially hired to work there part-time once he’s in high school.

Stan Marsh:

He still does drink, but not to the extent that his father does nor does he get blackout drunk anymore. He’s cut back a lot thanks to going to AA, but is struggling with the 12 step program do to his father leaving alcohol in his reach, and offering him alcohol. He’s also the kid that pulls drinks for his friends and for parties, as both his father and uncle Jimbo will buy it for him if he asks.

Stan tries his best to be vegetarian but has no problem with eating meat as long as he doesn’t witness the slaughter and preparation of the animal. (Including fish.) Blood makes him squeamish, and he becomes overly emotional when he sees an animal in distress.

Even though Stan is straight, when he’s drunk he’ll sleep with anybody. Drunk Stan also believes Kyle is his boyfriend and will run to him for comfort. This normally confuses Kyle, especially when Stan rejects everything when he is sober. It part of the reason Wendy decided that she is genderfluid and created Wendyl, thinking it will keep Stan from “wandering” away from her.

Stan is very proud of his gay dog Sparky. He willingly takes him to gay pride parades and events, and voices his support for his dog. 

He still owns that poodle he bought, which he found out was a toy poodle.

If his parents didn’t limit Stan to only 2 dogs, he would have a pack of at least 6, that he’d have follow him everywhere. He instantly can become friends with any dog he meets and feels heartbroken when he can’t take them home.

Stan knows different wolf howls and behaviors, he can almost instantly tell you what a wolf or a dog is trying to tell you. If he ever gets lost in the forest around town. he knows how to find the local wolf/coyote pack to keep himself company.

Out of all the boys, Stan would be the first to go feral if they were abandoned by their parents/society.

Kenny McCormick:

Is literally an Elder God, but only is aware of his immortality. He can’t remember what other powers he has or how to activate them. His real father is Cthulhu, and he hates him.

Kenny cares very deeply for his little sister Karen and older brother Kevin. When he has extra money, he will always buy them something nice. Like a new doll for Karen or powdered doughnuts from the convenience store to share with Kevin, because it’s their favorite treat.

Even though he will do nearly anything for money, he draws the line at eating Hot Rods. (Unless of course eating them would bring his family out of poverty or something...)

Kenny is genderfluid and pansexual. Mostly because he doesn’t care who he sleeps with, especially if their is money involved. Also wearing girl clothing occasionally was at first so he could had it down to Karen, but now he’d proudly admits he does like the look and feel of women’s clothing on him.

He has had pet rats, a pet possum, and raccoon. Currently he’s raising a baby flying squirrel he found abandoned in his yard, and nursing a robin who has a broken wing.

He wants to be a veterinarian when he grows up.

Eric Cartman:

Never thinks things through, and always pays for his schemes one way or another.

Still has a horde of stuffies he keeps in his room and sleeps with. Even having tea parties with them, when his “friends” don’t want to play.

Is an asshole towards Kyle, because he has unrequited feelings for him, but doesn’t want Kyle to know. Most of his plans fall through, because he really doesn’t want to hurt or push Kyle away.

Knows that he should watch his weight and eat better, but subconsciously wants to get diabetes from his obesity so he can be just like Kyle and Scott. He hates that they get special attention to their medical problems at school and thus don’t have to participate in certain exercises in gym.

Cartman is sex repulsed, but is secretly gay. He can’t stand the thought of actually having sex with anyone and believes all intimate contact is rape. 

He once broke up Craig and Tweek when he spotted them kissing at Stark’s Pond, then went on a rant of how Craig was taking advantage of his boyfriend, scaring Tweek into thinking he got all of the STDs.

Kyle has force Cartman to clean up “Zaron” all by himself before, after Cartman broke too many rules they came up with after the Stick of Truth was thrown in Stark’s Pond. Although, Cartman made Butters do it for him instead, when Kyle went home.

Four other boys:

Tweek Tweak:

Wasn’t aware his parent’s put meth and other drugs in his coffee to test the blends into being their customers addicted, until Craig discovered what Mr. Tweak was doing. Though Tweek is too scared to report his parents, Craig has used it as a threat to get Tweek expensive things, like videogames and new brand named clothes.

Tweek is a wonderful cook and baker. He wants to change the Tweak Bros. Coffee, into a restaurant kind of like Tim Hortons, where they serve both coffee and homemade food. Though he is too scared to ask his father to put in a proper kitchen in the back of the store, for him to use. Instead he has convinced his mother to sell his famous cupcakes, he bakes at home.

Even without the coffee and drugs, Tweek would still have his twitching tick. It only acts up when he is stressed out. When he is calm, it’s barely noticeable.

Before he bought Stripe #4 for Craig, he was terrified of rodents, after he fell in love with Guinea Pigs and occasionally will discuss proper rodent care with Kenny. 

Though now he fears that Craig might eat Stripe one day, do to Guinea Pigs being a delicacy in Peru and not knowing what happened to the other three Guinea Pigs Craig has had before Stripe #4. That’s why Stripe is kept over at his house on weekends and not a Craig’s 24/7.

Tweek has a parrot named “Coffee Crisp”, because it’s his favorite snack and the first words the parrot learned. His parent’s bought Tweek Coffee Crisp, to help keep his paranoia in check. 

Coffee Crisp will repeat goverment conspiracy theories do to that fact Tweek listens to them on the radio in his room at night. Coffee Crisp also knows the name of over 150 different types of coffee related products.

Craig gave Tweek a hand knitted Chullo and shall that matched his own, but in green, for his birthday. Tweek is afraid he will ruin them if he wears them, so he only wore the outfit for a day before permanently hanging it up in his closet.

Tweek was questioning his sexuality, but has always been gay. He was just too paranoid about other things to focus long enough to realize this.

Craig Tucker:

Although he behaves like he doesn’t give a shit about anyone or anything, he cares deeply on the inside for his friends. He believes showing emotion is weakness and prefers to internalize everything.

He has broken down in front of only two people ever in his life. The first being Clyde after Strip #2 had died, and the second being Tweek.

Craig is aware he is adopted and his native homeland is in Peru. He’s half white and half Peruvian native, and was sent to the US for adoption after people started trying to worship him as the Guinea God.

He’s also aware that he is a god and has god-like abilities. He just doesn’t like to use them and prefers to live a “normal” mortal life. He is aware of Kenny being an Elder God and his immortality. He’s willing to teach Kenny how to be responsible with his powers if he ever find out how to use them.

Craig has eaten Cavy and knows how to make traditional Peruvian dishes that use it, do to being a deity in his homeland. He likes it on occasion, but would never eat a Guinea Pig that he intends to keep as a pet and has buried his previous Guinea Pigs in the back garden of his home. He even had little funerals for them where his friends attended.

Craig likes to knit and will spend hours in his room listening to music and knitting. He hides this from his dad, because it’s not a “manly” hobby. Though every christmas he gives his family handmade sweaters, scarves, mittens, and socks, as gifts.

He doesn’t like coffee like Tweek, but his favorite drink is French Vanilla Cappuccinos. Which he has with whipped cream added, do to his sweet tooth.

Craig can’t dance, but tries to at parties and has fun regardless at his failed attempts. It makes Tweek laugh anyway.

Finally like Tweek’s twitching, flipping people off is a tick Craig had developed. Do to internalizing all of his thoughts and feelings, he automatically flips the bird when he feels upset or angry over someone or thing.

Clyde Donovan

Is just as pervy as Kenny, but is straight. 

He has problems with over expressing his emotions and is always crying about something. He uses Craig as his emotional support constantly, and sometimes will sit eating ice cream and watching romance movies alone.

He is embarrassed by his colostomy bag and only his friends (and Mr. Macky) know about it. He has one do to surviving rectal cancer when he was five.

He wants to own his own mexican themed restaurant when he is older or a Taco Bell. He was very disappointed when the government canceled building a giant Taco Bell during the events of the Stick of Truth.

His favorite Raisins girl is Lexus and always request her to be his host when he eats there. He wants to ask her out, but is too scared she will reject him.

When the kids play “The Kingdom of Zaron” now, Clyde remains as a separate third faction and the main “antagonist” of the game, when the humans and elves aren’t fighting each other. He rules over all the kids that want to be “monsters” or non-human or non-elf. Humans and elves can join his side if they proved to be “evil” enough.

Clyde has worn women's clothing for fun before. He likes flowy skirts and dresses. He wants to go to prom one day in a dress and maybe convince his future wife to let him wear the bride’s gown to their wedding.

Whenever he hears that Tweek is having a “backing meltdown” he gets excited, since Tweek makes too much and usually shares by giving him three boxes of baking. He hides this from his dad who want him to be careful of his weight.

Token Black:

Likes to buy expensive things for Nicole and his friends. He has no idea the value of money and genuinely gets confused when his friend say they or their parents can’t afford something.

Kenny McCormick creeps him out, and he thinks his family just chooses to live in a garbage dump. Though he does get along with Karen McCormick and had bought her lunch a few times, since he thinks it’s cruel for her parents to not give her money or food for school.

He is the second person Clyde will run to when he is upset, though unlike Craig, he dosen’t really know how to react or comfort Clyde. He normally just stands there with Clyde crying in his shoulder, awkwardly patting his back saying “there, there...” until Clyde feels better.

Contrary to belief (and Cartman) Token doesn’t like listening to Beyonce or hip hop type music. He actually likes listening to old folk music and polkas. 

Weird Al Yankovic is his favorite entertainer and “Just Eat it” is his favorite song by him.

Token sometimes says racist things against his white friends by accident. After which he profusely apologizes if he catches himself or someone calls him out on it.

He rather play chess than play football or basketball.

[zimmerdouche]

This is something I’ve had saved on my computer since like June but I still have a lot of thoughts about the Poindexter family.

I forget where it was I read this, and whether it was actually canon or not, but effectively it said that the entire Samwell Hockey Team came from a place of privilege because hockey is an expensive sport.

Consider: Dex is a multiple. More specifically, a triplet. Three kids going to college at once? And that money related stress, piled on since birth? Save your money, Poindexter, because even though you aren’t that bad off you aren’t the only one that needs tuition and equipment.

I know Ngozi tweeted about Dex only having an older brother but let me have this.

Let’s talk more about the Poindexter triplets.

Wyatt Joseph Poindexter

The youngest triplet. Laid back, big thinker, just wants everyone to get along.

He grew a beard after high school because he was so. Fucking. Tired. Of being mistaken for his older brother. He’s only an inch shorter and everyone called them the Weasley twins, there needed to be a change.

Poster Boy for the rustic hipster aesthetic. Plaid shirts with the sleeves rolled up, ripped jeans, knit beanie, Timbs, occasionally suspenders? Plus a beard? Actual Lumberjack Wyatt Poindexter.

At the University of Maine majoring in Communication Sciences and Disorders with a minor in music. He’d like to focus on music education for the hard of hearing.

Fluent in American Sign Language. (He is the Number One Fan of Holly Maniatty, interpreter at hip hop concerts.) Can also stumble his way through casual conversation in French.

L o v e s music and will listen to any genre. Literally any, but he especially loves stuff that he can play on his guitar, and artists like John Mayer, Jack Johnson, Brett Dennen, Counting Crows, so on and so forth. He loves listening to lyrics and dissecting meaning and context, and will write his own lyrics on occasion.

He was a sprinter in high school and was pretty good but chose not to continue in college even though a few schools showed interest.

Gay and demisexual. He came out after his freshman year, after a lot of soul searching, meditation, and GSA meetings, to his siblings, whose collective response was “oh shit me too, thank God.”

Drives a truck older than he is with a bench seat and a paint job that’s mostly rust. He hot boxes it regularly and honestly? A big Triplet Bonding Event, especially after the Poindexters start college, is driving out to the middle of nowhere at midnight with snacks and drinks and weed and smoking in the bed of the truck, looking at the stars, and talking about life.

Group chat: has it on Do Not Disturb because his siblings never shut up. Will occasionally interject with one liners. Sends Snapchat screenshots of himself looking Bored as Fuck in any lecture that isn’t directly related to his career path and also plaid related memes.

Winona Jane “Ryder” Poindexter

The second oldest/middle triplet and the only girl. Fiercely protective and stubborn. Will kick your ass. Will kick everyone’s ass. Will kick her own ass.

Everyone calls her Ryder (like, Winona Ryder, the actress) because she absolutely despises the name Winona. The number one way to piss her off is to call her Winona, or God forbid, Winnie (Will does it when he wants her attention. She threatens murder).

Also at UMaine, studying bioengineering. Her ultimate goal is to lead a research team focused on artificial organs, but she has also considered becoming a professor. She’d be a great lecturer because she tends to ramble.

A thrift store fiend with a need to look like she came straight from the nineties. She likes mom jeans, denim in general, crop tops, Chuck Taylors, and UMaine athletic wear. She also steals her brothers’ flannel shirts.

She was on the color guard in high school and continues to be on the color guard in college. She’s damn good at it too. Can do some basic gymnastics/tumbling, but the back handspring is about as fancy as she can go. Damn good at dancing in general. She also loves to swing dance, and while she couldn’t get Wyatt into it she managed to get Will to dance with her and he enjoys it much more than he’ll ever let on.

Her freshman spring semester she took a video editing class and part of the class was start a YouTube channel so that she could upload assignments to it. She chose to do a vlog channel and she titled it “Ryder Die,” and she just kinda stuck with it after the class ended. Will and Wyatt make regular guest appearances.

Lives for Spongebob related memes. It’s a problem. Wyatt had to ban her from showing Spongebob memes in the car because she would try to show him like one every three minutes while he was driving.

Bisexual as fuck and... uncomfortably open about her sex life. Ryder, your brothers do not want to know about that. Stahp.

Group chat: Ryder’s contact names from both of her brothers are just various Winona Ryder characters. She’ll purposely call Wyatt Will and Will Wyatt. “Guys how does this outfit look?” (30 seconds later) “Why am I asking you two I look fantastic”

William Jacob “Will” “Dex” Poindexter

The oldest triplet. High strung, reserved, very loyal and very protective, even more so than his sister.

His siblings call him Will, Samwell Men’s Hockey calls him Dex. His siblings will probably never call him Dex, it’s just weird. Do you call your brother by his last name? Why would you? You have the same last name!

Studying computer science/engineering at Samwell University.

Does the guy own anything that ISN’T plaid? Yes, he does, but you wouldn’t know it by looking at him. God, does he look like his brother.

Can stumble his way through a few songs on the guitar and can carry a tune better than his brother, (“Fuck you, Will! You’re not even going into music!”) but refuses to sing in public. He may hum, if you’re lucky.

Defensemen on the Samwell Men’s Hockey team.

Left handed so, basically, if Wyatt didn’t have a beard, they’d be completely mirrored. They are identical, after all.

Bisexual with a pretty strong male preference.

Group chat: Bickers with Ryder a lot, usually if he instigates conversation it’s to complain about his defense partner Derek Nurse. He does this often enough that Ryder suspects they’re dating. Once, when they were actually getting along, he sent a selfie and Ryder’s response was, of course, a Spongebob meme – “OH NO HE’S HOT!”

These three together? Oh boy

This bit is more about their parents but is required for context: Papa Marcus Poindexter is a Baptist worship pastor. Mama Cara Poindexter was Irish Catholic but converted after she started dating Marcus. They are… extremely conservative, more so than the rest of their extended family, and it’s not exactly a healthy environment for the triplets. They’ve all set off firecrackers in the baptismal pool though.

All three of them have like, three different personalities, depending on who is around them. There’s the “I’m with my parents” personality, which will always prevail in any situation and is very submissive and agreeable, the “I’m with my siblings but not my parents” personality, which will prevail provided their parents are not around and is very loud and laughter filled, and then “I’m with anyone else but not my siblings” personality, which is at any other time and shifts based on who they’re talking to.

Their group chat is. A mess. The name changes constantly and most of the time it’s just them bitching about everyone they know.

Favorite GC Names include:

Those Damn Poindexter Kids

Poindexter Meme Team

Will/Ryder/Wyatt is the Hot One

Which one are you again?

Fluent in American Sex Language

God Nerfed Us

Our Hair is Red because the Devil is Our Father

Mad 4 Plaid

Summer after their freshman year of college, some guy named Jake Nichols made a bet with his buddy that he could hook up with all three of them at least once. He did it, the madman, and they don’t figure it out until MONTHS later and it’s the best story to tell at parties, but only when all three of them are there together.

Wyatt and Will run in the mornings when they’re together, Will and Ryder will do dexterity training together, and Ryder and Wyatt will do your Everyday Gym Trip together (where Ryder does strength training and Wyatt general Fitness Upkeep).

Ryder and Wyatt visit The Haus when the Frogs are juniors:

So damn polite, oh my god, Bitty LOVES them because they all want to help in the kitchen like Dex does, and they brought even MORE food, bless their hearts. 

Wyatt gets along with Nursey like a house on fire. Ryder won’t stop doing eyebrow waggles at Dex every time he and Nursey say anything to each other.

Graduates are visiting bc plot and Ryder is well on her way to hook up with Ransom when he realizes that he doesn’t live there anymore and there’s no room to go to, whoops. He tried to ask Dex if he could flirt with his sister and Dex r e f u s e d to broach the topic with him. “If she wants to it’s fine.” “But-” “IF SHE WANTS TO IT IS F I N E.”

Wyatt brings his guitar and there’s a jam session in the front yard, somehow he convinces Will to sing. It’s an exciting time, Nursey brings out a ukulele and everyone’s humming along and somehow there’s a firepit is this even legal? The music is great though, even though it’s 3 AM and the Lax bros are pissed.

IDK how but they’d get Nursey and Dex together. They conspire with Chowder and maybe Bitty and just. Make it happen. Witchcraft.

Fin.

[mvgnoliasarchive]

TASK 001: CHARACTER SHEET

BASICS

Full Name: Magnolia Faye Bessin Meaning of Name: She was named Magnolia after the Flower, and Bessin is a French surname. Nickname: Maggie, Mags Birth Date: January 19th Astrological Sign and Details: Aquarius. She’s part shy and quiet, part eccentric and energetic. She often feels constrained and restless, unable to find her intellectual equal.  Birth Place: Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Age: 20 Nationality: American and French.  Race: White Hair Color: Dark brown Hair Style: Loose and messy waves, usually tangled. Distinct Features of Face: Thick eyebrows, full lips, bright blue eyes Glasses or Contacts: Glasses, but she doesn’t wear them often Eye Color: Blue Skin Tone: Pale Scars or Distinguishing Marks: A scar above her eyebrow from falling off her bike as a kid Disabilities: Synesthesia. She’s overly sensitive to smells, as each one has a different color for her. Build or Body Type: Tall and slender Height: 5′7 Weight: 115 Speech Patterns: She has a hoarse voice permanently from vocal nodules, and her speech is often low.

Tag Words: “I guess.” Gestures: Biting her lips before she speaks, crinkling her nose when she laughs Weakness: Self-doubt, crippling insecurity FAMILY AND CHILDHOOD

Mother: Dahlia Fenu Father: Roger Bessin Mother’s Occupation: Stay-at-home mother, former debutante Father’s Occupation: President of an oil conglomerate Family Finances: Wealthy as heck, old old money. She’s akin to Daisy from The Great Gatsby Birth Order: Oldest twin, youngest child Brothers: Older brother Jack Sisters: Hayley, her twin, died two year ago Friends: Delilah Astor, Ophelia Knox, Blake Knox  Enemies: Her parents Pets: A goldfish named Fishgerald Home Life During Childhood: Pleasant, idyllic, perfect. Up until her sister’s death, Maggie was the golden child. Ever since Hayley died trying to pick Magnolia up from a party, Maggie has been completely shut out and ignored by her family. Town or City Name(s): New Orleans, Louisiana Details of Town(s) or City(s): Maggie grew up in an old-fashioned mansion just outside of town that has been in the Bessin family for generations. She’s an old-fashioned southern belle, who spent her childhood dancing to jazz and wearing white gowns. What Did His, Her or Their Bedroom Look Like: Pristine, minimalist. Her parents would have never allowed any mess, but she had touches of her personality here and there, such as the rock records her dad gave her from his youth, or her sprawling book collection.  Any Sports or Clubs: Music co-op, art club Favorite Toy or Game: She was raised riding the family horses and learning archery, both of which she loved. Schooling: Private schools and tutors with nuns.  Favorite Subject: Art Popular or Loner: Popular Important Experiences or Events: Her sister’s death was the turning point in her life. Also, falling in love in Paris with a musician when she was eighteen. Then ending up in a hospital in Romania, strung out on drugs, after being passed around from band to band. Health Problems: Lack of seratonin.  Religion and beliefs: Raised Catholic, but an atheist now. PERSONAL

Bad Habits: Sleeping in, generally laziness, getting paint stuck under her nails, letting anyone who says a kind word use her. Good Habits: Journaling and drawing as a rlease, staying hydrated Best Characteristic: Her creativity. Her mind is constantly going in different directions, and she’s incredibly sharp-witted. Worst Characteristic: She’s a pushover. She doesn’t stand up for her own wants or desires much.  Worst Memory: Getting dragged out of her house by her weeping mother as their house burned down. Her mother set it onn fire, trying to eliminate all memories of Magnolia and hayley after Hayley’s death. Best Memory: Kissing someone she loved on the streets of Paris. Proud of: Her wit and intelligence. Embarrassed by: How desperately she wants to be loved.  Driving Style: Careful and cautious.  Strong Points: Creative, clever, kind, outgoing.  Temperament: Easygoing, but prone to fits of impulsivity.  Attitude: Negative.  Weakness: How easily she lets people in.  Fears: Ending up alone, ever being loved again.  Phobias: Moths, spiders. Secrets: How she inadvertently caused her sister’s death. Regrets: Calling Hayley that night. Letting Asher walk away. Feels Vulnerable When: She feels alone. Pet Peeves: People who don’t say what they mean, people who take things too seriously. Motivation: Love. Short Term Goals and Hopes: To get through sophomore year without falling for someone who doesn’t care about her, again.  Long Term Goals and Hopes: To find a way back into her family. Sexuality: Bisexual Exercise Routine: Little to no exercise. Day or Night Person: Day person. Introvert or Extrovert: Introvert. Optimist or Pessimist: Pessimist. LIKES AND PREFERENCES

Music: 80′s pop, 70′s rock, anything that her father turned her onto as a child. Books: The Secret History Foods: She loves anything salty and is a hot cheeto addict.  Drinks: Gin, expensive bourbon Animals: Dogs Favorite Saying: “Two bros, chilling in a hot tub, five feet apart cause they’re not gay.” Color: Blue Clothing: Her style is a mix of polished and messy. Her clothes are expensive, but they’re often not cared for and wrinkled. Her style is girlish. Jewelry: Her grandmother’s locket. TV Shows: Twin Peaks Movies: What a Girl Wants LIFESTYLE

Home: The Zeta house Household furnishings: Very minimalist, just her bed, a dresser, and some aped-up Poloroids. Her walls, though, are covered in pencil drawings she did herself Favorite Possession: Most Cherished Possession: The locket with a picture of her and her sister Significant Other Before: Asher, the lead singer of the band she ran off with. After that, a throng of roadies and musicians. Relationship with Family: Nonexistent, at this point. Salary: Her parents still provide her account with money Dream Career: Famous artist  Dream Life: Living in a cottage in the woods with someone she loves Love Life: Messy and mercurial Hobbies: Drawing, painting, photography, anything artistic. Reading and playing guitar, as well as drinking Guilty Pleasure: Hallmark holiday movies.  Intelligence Level: High intelligence Finances: Welathy as heck Greatest Strength: Her cleverness Greatest Weakness: Lack of strong will