#bro you guys saw absolutely nothing

[monarch-maelstrom]

Uh you did not see that post, sorry to everyone who liked it. I will post a new version WITHOUT the from space filled out.

[leatherbookmark]

my favourite thing abt tumblr mass-finding out about the origins of the “poor little meow meow” phrase is a couple of people in the tags, who listen to things like, i assume, punk or rap, going “oh so THIS is what people got so emotional over? wow they wouldn’t last a day over here” or “ah, this, yeah a couple of guys from our side did it too”. refreshing

[simpjaes]

sharing = caring [p.js | s.jy]

Jake thought he could get away with purchasing your panties off of your brother without anyone knowing. Unfortunately, the dorm life, where Jay exists literally three feet away from him at all times makes that impossible. or the one where jake tries to jerk it while his roommate is sleeping and jay just wants him to share a lil bit of what he has hidden under his pillow

minors dni! | requested by anonymous

WORDCOUNT― 1.2k

PAIRING― jake x jay x reader's panties

WARNINGS ― both jake and jay are fucking weirdos. bisexual jay. jake is just horny so he's like "well, ok i guess"

NOTE― tumblr hasn't been letting me post longer drabbles as an ask, so to the anon who sent me this idea, ur brain. mwah.

smut tags under cut:: 

smut tags― masturbation, panty sucking, kind of guys kissing, cum, moaning, purchasing of panties lol

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

“Where did you get those?”

Jay stares forward at his roommate, narrowing his eyes for a moment in realization. 

“Found them.” Jake shrugs, trying to hide the item crumpled in his fingers, shoving them quickly into his pocket as if it would keep Jay from asking any more questions.

Unfortunately, Jay knows what those are, and knows who they belong to. He saw that fucking instagram post. Jake saw it too, Jay saw his bitch ass like the picture as soon as it was posted. 

It was a photo of you alongside your friends. You hadn’t noticed at the time the image was posted, and god, fuck, Jay wishes you never found out because the whole post was deleted shortly after. It was a panty shot, you sitting there on the front steps of a bar alongside your friends. If you zoomed in on the photo, because let’s be honest, Jay always zoomed in, you could see it. You could see your panties.

An accidental panty shot.

So, Jake would be out of his fucking mind to think Jay doesn’t know what those are. What he wants to know is how the fuck he got his hands on them.

Jake awkwardly stands, almost like a deer in headlights as Jay closes in on him, furrowing his brows and glaring at him.

“Jake.” Jay warns him with a deeper tone, “Where the fuck did you get those?”

Jake, famously bad at telling lies, stiffens up before dropping his shoulders entirely. 

“I paid her little brother for them.”

Jay lends him a look of disgust. Not because he thinks it’s weird, but more so because why the fuck didn’t he think of that first?”

“Bro…” Jay trails off, wanting to reach into Jake’s pocket and grab them himself, but he relents...for now. “How much did you pay for them?”

What Jake thought would be a scolding session, or like, a life long reason to mock and make fun of him turns out to be…oh. Now, hold on.

“Wait–” He takes a step back, raising a brow. “Why do you care?”

“Are they dirty?” Jay continues to question. “What do they smell like?”

Then, silence as the realization hits them both. 

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Well.

Jake expected to spend his first night with these panties alone, but it seems like Jay isn’t willing to let him out of his sight with them. Weird, absolute freak behavior, but he gets it. 

He’d probably do the same if he noticed Jay twirling your panties in his hands too. Still, he’s been dying to jerk off since he got the first whiff of them. 

Yes, they’re dirty. 

He didn’t pay $200 for nothing. And your brother drives a hard bargain. Jake seriously almost dipped into his saving because the fucker wanted more for them. Fucking pervert, selling his sister’s panties to make an extra buck.

Whatever. 

The issue now is the fact that Jay just lingers.

“Weren’t you supposed to go to work tonight?” Jake groans, hating the dorm life and despising the lack of jerking off he’s been able to do with a roommate so close. 

“I called in.” Jay deadpans, rolling over on his bed and acting like he’s going to go to sleep. 

Jake leaves it at that, rolling his eyes in a huff and flopping down on his own bed. 

An hour goes by in silence.

Two hours.

Jake’s eyes are bloodshot by this point because he really is sleepy. He’s got class at eight tomorrow morning, after all. Thankfully, he can tell Jay is asleep by now. Which means…

He’s as quiet as he can be when he reaches under his pillow, nearly moaning at the feeling of the panties against his fingertips alone. He’s lucky Jay didn’t see him stuff them under here, because for a second he was almost worried they’d be nowhere to be found once he finally got to do this. 

And so, silently still, he grabs them and gently lays them across his nose, inhaling deeply before sliding his hand down and into his sweatpants. 

He breathes the scent of you in, imagining all sorts of things until he’s working up a sweat trying to hold in his silence. Even if he were being loud, he wouldn’t know it, his ears have been ringing since the first touch of his cock, if he’s being totally honest.

They’re ringing so loudly, and his eyes are shut so tightly that he doesn’t even notice Jay getting out of bed and standing in front of him. He only realizes when the scent of you is suddenly gone and a waft of fresh air fills his lungs instead.

His abs flex as he opens his eyes in a frustrated groan before he’s ripping his hand from his pants and trying to snatch the beloved item back. 

“What the fuck?!” Jake grips, not even hiding how hard he is before lifting himself from his bed, onto his knees to try and grab at Jay’s arm. 

Jay, already lost in the sauce much like Jake was previously, will be damned to hand them over so easily. So, he presses his two fingers into the seat of the panties and sucks them into his mouth.

Jake nearly sees red at that. 

“I paid for those.” He seethes out this time, cock jumping unintentionally at the way Jay’s other hand is blatantly down his own pants, unashamed, right there in front of him. 

“We can’t share?” Jay mumbles from around the panties, leaving the fabric in place while pulling his fingers out, reaching for Jake’s arm to pull him even closer. 

All Jake can do is follow the grip on him in shock, unsure of what to do but fuck, he was so close already. Jay seems weirdly okay with this…why can’t he?

“Have you not tasted her yet?” Jay mumbles again, rolling his eyes back briefly when he flicks his wrist against the head of his cock. 

Jake wouldn’t know what’s going through his mind even if you tortured him to say it. Genuinely, there is no excuse for him to lean forward like this, chasing the scent of your panties right up against his own room mate’s mouth. He tries to save himself from crossing that line by trying to tug them out with a gentle pull, but it doesn’t work. Why doesn’t it work?

Because Jay closes the distance for him. Not kissing him, but lying his lips against Jake’s with the panties acting as a barrier. And then? He presses his tongue out, as if giving the panties back to Jake through a kiss.

Jake moans when he slightly pulls back, hesitating as he moves his hand down his own pants again. Unsure if he’s moaning for the taste of you, the intense arousal in his gut, or, well, being kind of kissed when he like, really really needs it. Jay or not, human contact is human contact when he's this fucking turned on.

Already, Jay is close with the remnant of your pussy on his tongue, but opening his eyes and seeing Jake act just as insane as he does– he can’t help it. There’s something about the taboo nature of it. The way Jake paid for panties from a girl who barely knows either of them. The way he started loudly jerking off as if Jay wasn’t three feet away from him before. The way he flushed while watching Jay try and get some of it too, jerking himself off in the open like that.

The way Jake just..stays here, inches from his face and cums against his sweat pants with a broken moan, drooling all over the panties.

It’s not that his roommate turns him on or anything. Honestly, Jay could give less of a shit about Jake in terms of sexuality but that moan. So broken, so desperate. He couldn’t help himself, reaching and tearing the panties out of Jake’s slack mouth as he releases, just to shove them down his own pants, cumming all into the fabric to not only the taste, scent, and feeling of your panties, but the sound of Jake whimpering at the loss.

[kashverse]

Hey! Not 100% sure if your requests are open, but can I get an SMAU of you doing a double take at a random hot guy the boys and you walk past on the street? Crack would be so funny lmaoo! Thanks, love ur work!😆🤭

read till the end to see choso in cosplay (not clickbait)

it was supposed to be a simple grocery run. a peaceful, uneventful, married couple activity. you and nanami were at the organic section—him carefully selecting the perfect tomatoes, you texting him from two feet away about getting more oat milk. normal. civil. domestic.

then it happened.

a man—tall, broad, effortlessly stylish—walked past you with a bulging bag of groceries. your eyes followed him. your head whipped so fast you swore you heard your neck crack. and beside you, nanami stopped mid-reach for an avocado, eyes slowly narrowing. “really?” he muttered, voice dangerously calm. you blinked at him, confused. “what?”

“nothing.” his jaw twitched. nanami kento, mature and self-assured, was obviously not sulking.

but you saw the way his grip on the avocado tightened. saw the micro twitch in his brow. your dear husband thought you were checking out grocery bag man. except you were not. oh, no. this was far worse. you turned to nanami, eyes wide, voice trembling with despair.

“he took the last loaf.”

nanami’s expression barely shifted. “what?”

“the last loaf, kento. the ethically sourced, imported-from-a-french-village, aged-like-fine-wine, vegan-friendly bread you waited weeks for—he has it.”

nanami’s world shattered. his entire soul left his body.

the betrayal, the injustice, the absolute audacity of that man, casually walking out with his bread like he didn’t just ruin two people’s week. you grabbed his arm before he could start forward. “babe, no.”

his fingers twitched, torn between rationality and primal rage. “he doesn’t deserve it,” he whispered, haunted. you spent the rest of the grocery run in silence. nanami didn’t even flinch when the cashier told him the total. he was mourning.

ah, evening walks. a staple of married life. you and geto, hands intertwined, nodding politely at neighbors like you were the wholesome, friendly couple everyone thought you were.  then you saw him. a man striding down the street, his pants fluttering with each step. the most perfect pair of bell-bottoms you had ever seen.

you grabbed geto’s arm, halting mid-walk. your jaw went slack.

“sugu—”

his expression darkened. his fingers tensed around yours.

“so that’s your type?”

you blinked, confused. “what?”

“oh, nothing.” he smiled, but it wasn’t a real smile. it was a ‘hmm, my love is a traitor’ smile.

you turned back to bell-bottom man.

“he’s wearing the exact pair you’ve been looking for.”

geto froze. the tension evaporated. he squinted. studied. analyzed.

“…cotton blend,” he murmured.

“definitely imported,” you added. you both stood there. staring. geto’s eyebrows twitched.

“i need to know where he got them.”

“we could follow him.”

“we absolutely could.”

and so, two grown adults—former sorcerers, parents, functioning members of society—spent the next ten minutes covertly (not covertly) stalking a man for the sole purpose of inquiring about his pants.

it was a good day. you and toji had just finished at the butcher, a prime cut of steak nestled in your bag, and toji was already humming about grilling it up with butter. then you saw the officer.

your head whipped around so fast toji felt it. his shoulders tensed. his jaw clenched. a cop? a cop? that’s what you were into? he could deal with gym bros, maybe even pretty boys, but an officer?

…he was gonna have to commit a crime.

toji was seething. fuming. trying so hard not to snarl about how he could handle you better than some uniformed pretty boy. then you leaned into him, tugging his sleeve.

“look at his gun.”

toji blinked. “huh?”

“that’s a customized SIG. high-end, lightweight, reinforced barrel—”

oh.

oh.

toji let out the deepest sigh of his life. his entire soul exhaled. you weren’t ogling some officer’s ass. you were checking out his gun.

for the first time ever, toji felt defeated by an inanimate object.

there were three things gojo satoru could not tolerate:

being ignored

being ignored in public

being ignored in public while you were looking at another man

so when he caught you staring—staring—at some guy while he, the love of your life, stood next to you in all his six-eyed, beautiful glory, he reacted in the only way he knew how. loudly.

“are you actually serious right now?” gojo gasped, clutching his chest. “ogling another man? in front of me? your one true love?”

you didn’t even look at him. you were still staring at sunglasses man, an impressed hum under your breath. gojo clutched your sleeve. “babe, look at me. me."

“he’s wearing chopard.”

the air changed.

gojo stopped breathing. his hand went limp. his pupils shrank. his jaw—previously running at a hundred miles per hour—snapped shut.

“ch-chopard?” his voice cracked. you nodded, grave.

now both of you were wailing.

“we could’ve been him,” gojo cried. “we could’ve been walking around dripping in wealth!”

“he looks so effortless.”

“his life is together.”

you both mourned the lack of chopard in your lives, heads bowed in devastation, like you had just witnessed your futures slipping through your fingers. that night, gojo went home and bought three pairs online.

sukuna had seen it. the way your eyes lingered. the way your gaze flickered over some gym bro’s barely covered pecs like you had just discovered the meaning of life. he crossed his arms, seething. “seriously?” you, completely unaware of your impending doom, glanced at him. “huh?”

“you checked him out.”

you blinked. “no, i didn’t.”

“yes, you did.”

“no, i didn’t.”

“yes, you did.”

“read his shirt.”

sukuna’s eye twitched. but fine. he’d play your little game. he begrudgingly looked over, prepared to see some cringe gym brand logo, only to be met with the words:

“I ❤️ MY PARTNER.”

in bold. right across the pecs.

sukuna froze. the world went silent. for once in his entire existence, he felt true, undeniable embarrassment.

“…oh.”

you smacked the back of his head.

the next day, sukuna walked into his gym wearing that exact shirt, except his was customized.

“I ❤️ MY PARTNER MORE THAN YOU LOVE YOURS.”

choso was panicking. he had seen you do it. the double take. the slight pause in your step. the way your eyes lingered on another man. his hands clenched into fists. his heart dropped into his stomach.

his brain? already drafting up worst-case scenarios. his soul? leaving his body. his spirit? crushed.

“please don’t leave me,” he whispered, eyes pleading. you blinked. “what?”

“i saw you looking at him.”

you glanced at the man in question. he was carrying a big shopping bag filled with sanrio plushies.

“…babe.”

choso swallowed. “just tell me now so i can emotionally prepare—”

“babe, i was looking at the plushies.”

choso went silent. the blood drained from his face.

he stared at the bag, then at you.

back at the bag, then at you.

then back at the bag.

“oh,” he whispered. he didn’t sleep that night. he spent hours on his phone.

on valentine’s day you opened the door, expecting something sweet—flowers, chocolates, maybe a heartfelt love letter. instead, you were met with choso.

in a inflatable cinnamoroll costume.

his entire body was swallowed by the plush suit. his face? peeking out of cinnamoroll’s giant, smiling head.

“…choso?”

“do you like it?” he asked, voice muffled through the fabric. you did not know whether to laugh or cry. he shuffled closer, arms outstretched.

“i’m your sanrio plush now.”

[goddamnitmahtin]

dc x dp group chat shenanigans

So basically, Dick makes a group chat for the minorities in the family because sometimes Bruce just doesn’t get it you know?

And Danny? Started going to school in Gotham. That’s it.

Dick created a group chat.

Dick renamed the group chat “The Minority Chat”

Dick: Okay everyone, if you don’t have a reason to stay, leave.

Dick: Nobody left.

Tim: Well yeah, Dick. All of us are minorities.

Damian: Yes, I have to agree with Drake. For example, I am half Arabic.

Duke: I’m black.

Cass: …

Babs: I’m disabled.

Steph: Teen pregnancy.

Tim: RAMCOA

Dick: Well what about you Jason?

Jason: I fucking died bro.

Dick renamed the group chat “Sib Chat”

This group chat went on to become the best way for them to vent to each other about Bruce and share memes to each other. They also sometimes randomly kick someone out so the others can stalk them. This time it was Damian’s turn.

Duke has removed Damian from “Sib Chat”

Duke: Guys I just saw the weirdest shit on patrol today.

Cass: ?

Babs: With Damian? He’s meant to be at school today.

Tim: He’s there, his tracker hasn’t moved locations.

Steph: When did you sneak a tracker onto Damian?

Tim: Don’t worry about it.

Duke: Don’t worry he is at school. But get this. I saw him eating his lunch outside. And he was talking to someone. AND SMILING.

Cass: 😮

Tim: Was it his “I’m gonna kill this guy while he’s sleeping” smile?

Duke: NO

Tim: Oh shit

Babs: Did you see who it was? I can run a background check.

Duke: No. But I will keep you posted. Where are Jason and Dick btw?

Babs: Dick is sleeping and Jason got shot.

Duke: Oh okay. Don’t let him administer his own Dilaudid.

Babs: Trust me, I won’t.

A few weeks later

Duke has removed Damian from “Sib Chat”

Babs: Please tell me you got info

Duke: I do. And it’s weird

Jason: Don’t tell me Dami got a SO and didn’t tell me?!

Duke: God I hope not.

Cass: ???

Steph: Spill the tea macho man

Duke: Recognized the backpack from last time. I saw the kid Dami was all smiley with at a coffee shop and I shit you not, he looks like if Damian was white.

Jason: The fuck does that mean?

Duke: IM TELLING YOU! He was Damian but white!

Steph: What would that even look like?

Cass: 🤔

Jason: I’ll believe it when I see it.

6 hours later after dark

Jason: Holy shit you were right.

Duke: YOU SAW HIM TOO?!

Jason: That was terrifying.

Dick: Wait this isn’t a joke? I thought Duke was pulling our leg-

Damian: What are you two rambling on about?

Tim: Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Damian: I do not believe you.

Cass: …

Damian: Fine. I will not interrogate you all. I am going to get ready for patrol anyways.

Dick has removed Damian from “Sib Chat”

Dick: I wasn’t paying attention until now so you all better tell me everything.

[pottersfia]

For your Theo fluff - He hates touch, like absolutely does not get touched by anyone ever. His friends know it. Everyone knows - but then you come along and it’s all you do. Hugs, hand holding, legs in lap, all the touchy things. And you have no idea that Theo was ever NOT a touchy person because he never said anything. And then Pansy or Draco tell you how he used to hate being touched, and you’re like ???? Because he never said anything. And then you stop. Like no more hugs, no fiddling with his hands during class, nothing. And then he’s like ???? And then you tell him why and he’s like … I only wanna be touched by you. And it’s just so fluffy and a little hint of sunshine!reader.

You are the best Theo fluff writer😭🔥❤️

theodore nott x sunshine!reader

a/n: sorry i’ve been so busy i’m catching up on requests now!!

theodore very instinctively backed away from blaise's incoming hands. the boy was simply joking around with his friend, but as he lifted his hands to pat his back, super bro-dude of him, Theodore backed away.

"sorry mate." blaise noticed his flinch and laughed. theodore shook his head and gave a small smile to his friend.

"you act like everyone but you has the black plague or something, theo." pansy laughed at the interaction.

"what?" theodore asked.

"you back away from touch so quick." the girl replied.

"yeah, you never let anyone touch you." Draco added.

"i don't think i've ever seen you hug som-"

"theo!" blaise was interrupted by you walking towards the group of slytherins with an unmissable smile on your face. theodore's face visibly lit up as he stood up to greet you. you instantly walked up to him and reached out for a hug which he gladly reciprocated. blaise, draco, and pansy looked at eachother in shock. they knew theodore liked you but for him to display pda so naturally was strange. the two of you had only been dating for a week and before that you seemed to be close already, but the group still never saw this side of the relationship.

"hello to you too, y/n." blaise said, holding back a laugh with a smile. you turned to the group and smiled at them.

"hi guys." despite the two breaking your hug, your arm did not leave his body. "can i sit?" she asked.

"of course, i don't think theo will let you leave anyway." pansy replied making everyone not so discreetly laugh. theodore scowled at them and led you to sit down next to him. you smiled as he placed his arm around you and chatted about your day to him.

the scene was incredible to theodore's slytherin friends. you couldn't keep your hands off him as you sat together and he did not mind at all. you held on to his hands, placed a hand on his thigh, even touched his hair as you spoke to him. all he did was stare and listen to you as you talked, occasionally giving commentary and melting in your touch.

"i'll go get it for you." theodore said as he stood up, responding to something you mentioned you forgot in his room.

"where are you off to?" draco asked.

"getting something for y/n, i'll be back." he replied as he headed to his dorm.

"that boy must really like you." pansy turned to you as soon as he was out of sight. you smiles.

"well i hope so."

“it’s so funny, we were just talking about how much he hates being touched before you came over.” blaise said. you furrowed your eyebrows at his comment.

“he does?” you questioned. they all nodded. you never would have thought that about theodore. you were naturally very touchy with people you cared about and didn’t think theodore had a problem with it because he never said anything. as you thought about it, you did realize that he rarely was as physically affectionate with you in the same way so maybe he didn’t like it?

as the week went on, this thought never left your head. you suddenly became self aware of all your actions around theodore. your hugs were shorter instead of unnecessarily being prolonged, you held his hand instead of clinging onto his arm, and you rarely played with his hair.

theodore did not understand what was going on. he knew something was different as soon as he noticed you hesitating to hug him. he was never one to initiate physical affection so he wasn’t sure how to go about this. his break point was one afternoon in the empty school courtyard when the two of you sat in the grass talking and enjoying each other’s company. you were next to him but did not even attempt to touch him the entire time.

theodore looked down at the hand you were leaning on that was in between the two of you. you were ranting about your divination exam but all he could think of was how much he missed your touch. he looked back up at you and nodded to your words. he moved his hand without looking to touch yours, intending to hold on to it, but you immediately moved it away.

“why are you doing that?” he interrupted you. you stared at him in silence.

“doing what?” you asked.

“you’re not touching me. are you upset with me or something?” he asked. you looked at him in disbelief.

“no. i’m not i just,” you looked down not really knowing what to say.

“just what?” he asked again.

“i thought you didn’t like being touched.” you said. he tilted his head at your words. “it’s your friends, they told me you don’t like being touched by people soon figured i would hold back on it because i don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

“ragazza dolce (sweet girl),” he placed a hand on your cheek making you look at him. “i only like being touched by you. i miss it so much.” he says.

“really?” you asked. he nodded. you smiled and kissed him, placing your hand on his arm.

“now please give me a hug. yours are the best.” he smiled at you.

“if you insist.” you gave him a hug as he requested, smiling and closing your eyes as you lingered in the feeling.

[space-matt]

The great debate

chris sturniolo x fem reader

summary: finally the big question has been revealed, ass or titts? 

request: yes -> @jcsturniolo11

author’s note: hope you like it, let me know!!

*ੈ✩‧��˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺

English is not my first language, if you see grammar and typing mistakes, I apologize in advance! I just ask you not to be rude to me ♡

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺

The living room of the Sturniolo house was buzzing with energy. It was a lazy Sunday, the kind of day when the world seems to slow down, giving everyone the chance to relax and do absolutely nothing. That was exactly the plan for Chris, Matt, and Chris's girlfriend, Y/n, while Nick was out with Madison. The three of them were sprawled across the couches, surrounded by half-empty bags of chips and soda cans, idly flipping through the TV channels while Chris scrolled through his phone.

Chris was sitting on the couch, engrossed in his phone, when he made an observation. "Man, you ever notice people are always either ass or tits people?" His eyes remained fixed on the screen as he chuckled, stealing a glance at Matt, who was lounging on the other end of the couch.

Y/n, perched next to Chris with her legs curled under her, raised an eyebrow. "Seriously? That's what you're thinking about right now?"

Chris, defensive, set his phone down, saying, "Hey, it's a legitimate topic. People have strong opinions about this. I saw these comments on the stream—it's an actual debate."

From his corner, Matt snorted, running a hand through his hair and leaning forward with an amused grin. "Oh God, are we really doing this? The whole 'ass or tits' thing? Classic."

Rolling her eyes, Y/n couldn't help but smile. "Okay, fine," she said, indulging them. "If we're going there, I gotta ask—you guys are brothers. Do you agree on this, or do you have different opinions?"

Chris and Matt shared a knowing glance, the kind of silent brotherly communication that comes after years of understanding each other without words. Then Chris smirked. "Oh, Matt and I definitely have different opinions. But I’m not gonna spoil it for him."

Matt, looking slightly exasperated, leaned back in his chair and gestured dismissively. "You're making a bigger deal out of this than it really is. I just have a preference for the backside. A good—"

"Nope, spare me the details!" Y/n interjected, raising her hand to halt Matt's words, a smile playing at the corners of her lips. "I'm attempting to deduce this based on your personalities, but it feels like an impossible task."

Chris, always the provocateur, playfully nudged Y/n. "Come on, Y/n. You know me better than anyone. Take a guess which one I am."

Y/n tilted her head, squinting at him thoughtfully. She was partly engaging in the banter, but her expression revealed genuine curiosity. "Hmmm. I get the sense that you're attracted to the posterior, but you pretend otherwise to keep people guessing. You know, trying to be 'mysterious.'"

Chris burst into laughter, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "Mysterious? When have I ever been mysterious?"

"You're mysterious in a Chris kind of way," she countered, poking him in the side. "You may appear nonchalant, but you always have something up your sleeve."

Matt chuckled. "Yeah, he wishes he had that kind of depth."

"Okay, but seriously, Chris," Y/n persisted, her inquisitiveness getting the best of her. "Which one are you?"

A tense silence filled the room. Chris leaned in, lowering his voice to a whisper as if he were on the verge of disclosing the world's greatest secret. "Y/n... I'm a—"

Matt, displaying no interest in the suspense, interjected with a deadpan expression. "He's a titts guy. Always has been."

Chris feigned offense as his mouth dropped open. "Bro, you just spoiled the big reveal!"

Y/n burst into laughter, her eyes wide with playful shock. "Wait, really? I was so convinced you were going to say ass!"

Matt shrugged. "Nope, it's the classic misdirection. He talks as if he's a ass guy, but nope, he's been on team titts forever."

Y/n crossed her arms and leaned back, still amused but now fully engaged in the conversation. "Well, now I’m intrigued, Matt. What about you?"

Chris flashed a knowing grin, already aware of his brother's response. "Oh, Matt's the obvious one. He's an ass man through and through. No question about it."

Matt didn’t even attempt to deny it. He gave a slight shrug, a laid-back grin spreading across his face. "What can I say? It’s all about balance."

Y/n couldn't help but chuckle, feeling the warmth of the moment as she shook her head at both Chris and Matt. "You guys are truly something else. Is this really what brothers talk about when no one’s around?"

Chris let out a low, rumbling chuckle. "You'd be surprised how intense our discussions can get."

Matt's expression turned unexpectedly solemn as he nodded. "Yeah, like the ongoing debate of socks or no socks in bed. It's a highly contested issue."

Y/n couldn't help but groan, half in exasperation and half in amusement as she buried her face in her hands. "Oh dear, what have I gotten myself into?"

Chris wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "You've just been inducted into the never-ending debate club, Y/n. Welcome to the madness."

She shot him a playful squint, pretending to be unimpressed. "I didn’t sign up for this."

Matt's smirk was undeniable. "Nobody signs up for it. It just sneaks up on you."

Their laughter filled the room, the joy of their easy camaraderie spreading like wildfire. Amid all the lighthearted banter and goofy debates, it was moments like these—where time seemed to stand still—that made everything else in life worthwhile.

As Chris and Matt continued their playful banter about every conceivable topic, Y/n felt a surge of contentment. These brothers were a riot, and she wouldn't trade these moments for anything in the world.

--------------------------------------------------------

Taglist:  @sturniolosreads @mayhem-72 @dracoflaco @lyzsaphrodite @ifilwtmfc @xoxo4chrisss @soimightlikeoldmen69 @inlovewithmattstur @sturniolobendystrawsposts @tillies33ssss @junnniiieee07 @blackhorses-posts

[luvyeni]

𝐀 𝐕𝐈𝐑𝐆𝐈𝐍 𝐖𝐇𝐎 𝐂𝐀𝐍'𝐓 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃 ! ㅤ ㅤ𓂃 ㅤ박성훈

CHAPTER ELEVEN. here with you ... 「 materialist 」

ㅤ୨ৎ no one in your friend group couldn't understand why you and sunghoon stopped being friends after freshman year of college; they all chalked it up as for reasons only you and he knew about , you and sunghoon couldnt get along, and when he threatened to tell your brother something your deepest darkest secret you called him a virgin who couldn't read to your 24k fans and the name spread throughout the campus…ㅤ

𓂃 🎞️. chapter warnings. language , alcohol and marijuana usage , mentions of sex word count. 1723

after the grueling testing day; you were ready to just have fun tonight. “is your brother gonna be there?” you smiled at your friend. “don't smile at me like that, i was just asking.” you shrugged. “well he does live there, so yes.” you laughed. “the two of you couldn't be less obvious.” yeojin shook her head. “there's nothing going on between us , i swear.”

“who you fooling?” she scoffed. “hey you're the one who— we don't talk about jake , that's business.” you tossed your hair around in the mirror. “i wasn't talking about jake , i was talking about sunghoon.” you rolled your eyes. “don't start that.”

“i can't believe you two use to be together.” you stopped her. “we had sex a two times, i wouldn't say we were together.” you said. “well no , but you were the best of friends, that's what makes it much crazier.” yeojin said. “what would have happened if it not had been for mina and heeseungs first love?” you frowned. “we actually could've seen sunghoon and yn as friends.”

you knew your friends meant no harm, but you couldn't help but think about the previous conversation on the way to the party; the conversation looming over your head— what could've been? “you alright mama?” yeojin asked , pulling you out of your thoughts. “yes im fine, just thinking.” you said. “about sunghoon?” yoons eyebrows raised. “absolutely not , i'm thinking about how much im gonna drink tonight.”

“i will not be pulling your drunk body to your apartment; i will dump you on your brother's bed and leave.” you laughed, the car pulling up to the party. “i promise i won't get drunk.” you held your hand up. “let's go , sunoo is waiting inside with julie and natty.”

you guys made your way through the sweaty bodies, the smell of different perfumes and marijuana wafting throughout the air , burning your nostrils. “there they are.” the three of you made your way over to the rest of your friends. “come on.”

“you guys made it.” natty said. “sunoo thought you were gonna end up bailing.” pulling you in for a hug. “why would i do that?” pulling away with a confused glare. “because sunghoon is here and even tho you two hate each other , you still are horny for him.” julie said, you turned to natty. “she won't tell anyone i swear.” she smiled. “i won't i promise, i just like being nosey , i think you two would be pretty cute.”

“who?” you turned upon hearing your brothers voice. “no one.” jake ran over to you , hugging you. “jake i saw you 4 days ago.” you groaned. “i missed you.” you laughed. “okay , okay get off.” you pushed him , he pulled away with a toothy grin. “who would be cute?” jungwon said , turning to you. “obviously not you.” you scoffed. “asshole.” he looked you up and down. “could your dress be anymore short , the frat house down the road is here and you know they love to be touchy feely.”

“won i can handle a few drunk frat guys.” you said. “i’ll stay with her tonight, you go have fun , yoon is over there bro.” jake winked , your brothers face turning red. “gross , she's my friend.” you grabbed jake's wrist. “let's go get a drink.” he nodded. “hands above the waist sim , im watching you!”

“so how have you been?” jake asked , “it's been almost a week and i haven't heard from you.” he said. “you missed me?” you teased. “shut up you know what i mean , how can i get high without you?” he handed you a drink. “how about not getting high at all.” jay , sunoo and heeseung made their way over to you. “the two of you are frying your brains.” jay said. “sunoo your boyfriend is nagging, make him stop.” you whined. “how come you never want to smoke with me?” heeseung asked. “last time we smoked together heeseung you fell asleep in my bed , i had to sleep on the floor.”

“yeah my bad , your bed is super comfortable.” he smiled cheekily. “so since i know im getting a chance with you tonight , where's your friend at?” you rolled your eyes. “she's over there , leave her alone.” he winked , walking away. “why did you just throw your friend to the wolves?” jay asked. “hey we can't all be lonely.” you shrugged. “even if it is for a night.”

“you always have jake.” sunoo said , pointing to the man next to you. “no , what we have right now is enough.” you said. “which is?” jay asked. “nothing , completely platonic.” you said. “well enjoy celibacy, come on jay.” sunoo dragged the boy away. “let's go dance.” jake said. “fine.” he guided you to the dance floor , his hands low on your waist. “you do look good tonight.” you smiled , so unaware of the boy eyeing you from across the room.

sunghoon was hoping to ignore you tonight , he was praying that he didn't see you at all tonight — downing cup after cup to try and get you out his head. “bro you wanna slow down?” jungwon approached him. “i know you live here , but i mean alcohol poisoning is still a thing.” he didn't know what to do ; how do you explain what he was currently feeling? how could he explain it to your brother? “i'm fine.” was all he could say. “i have to use the bathroom.” he said , pulling his body off the wall , stumbling just a bit. “hoon.” he waved the boy off , making his way to the bathroom.

you and jake were like five drinks in each , both of you dancing on the floor , his hands on your waist. “when did you become such a lightweight sim.” the boy was stumbling. “am i a light weight or do you just drink too much.” both of you stumbling to a seat. “my feet hurt.” the boy whined. “of course we danced for like an hour.” you said. “i have to use the bathroom , i’ll be right back.”

making your way to the bathroom , holding on to a wall , stumbling. you finally found the bathroom but unfortunately it was locked , and with the slamming against the door , you weren't looking to wait for whoever was in there to come out.

trying to find your brother's bedroom , knowing he had a bathroom in his room , you found a door , opening it , walking in. “has his room has gotten much bigger.” you said to yourself. “that's cause it's not his room.” you heard a familiar voice , turning around to the boy sitting on the bed. “sunghoon.” you said. “im leaving.” you turned to walk out. “if you have to use the bathroom, go.” he said. “as much as i want you out , I'm not a monster.” he said , you stumbled into the bathroom. “close the door.”

you quickly did what you have to do , ready to quickly get out of there and away from the boy — walking out of the bathroom where he was still sitting there , his head low , red face; he was beyond drunk. “don't pretend to care , just go.” he said. “i never said i did care.” you said. “and i am leaving.” you turned to walk away. “i don't want to be here with you anyway.” your words slurring as you stumbled to the door.

sunghoon watched you slowly make your way to the door; your legs wobbly, he remembered when you first got drunk , you held on to the wall of his bedroom just like you were currently — he didn't know what came over him , well he did know , it was the alcohol, lord knows he wouldn't have done it sober. “stupid door.”

he wanted to stop himself , but he couldn't; the alcohol ran through his veins as he grabbed your wrist , turning you around. “what the fuck.” you yelped , his hand coming up to the back of your neck , his lips slamming into yours sloppily from the alcohol — it was hot , it was messy, it was everything you needed in your life — but it should've been with him , but you wanted it to; and that made you mad.

you pulled away ; both of you breathless. “yn-” your hand went right across his face. “don't.” you said. “this didn't happen.” before he could say anything , you were running out the door , and down the stairs , to adrenaline running through your veins letting you sober up , you had to get out of there and fast.

you looked for your friends everywhere , but they were nowhere to be found. “there you are.” jake grabbed your shoulder , gaining your attention. “whoa you look like you've just seen a ghost.” he said. “do you need another drink?” you don't know what came over you , but soon you were making another mistake , grabbing the side of jake's face , pulling him into a kiss — it didn't feel like sunghoons lips , it wasn't hot or messy like you liked , you didn't feel a spark like you did with the boy you claimed to hate.

“whoa wait yn.” he pulled away. “you know you don't want to do that.” he said. “i do.” you said , but the boy knew. “no you don't , you're drunk and would never do this sober and i would never forgive myself knowing that and still taking advantage of you.” he said , his hand caressing your cheek. “let's get you home alright? before your brother sees you like that and that's the last thing we want right?” you sighed nodding. “good girl , let's go.” he guided you out of the house.

sunghoon tried to chase after you — what would he say , three days ago he was calling you a bitch , then he kisses you; but still his legs were determined to find you , pushing through the crowds of people , until he saw your familiar dress , his eyes following your hands go up to the boy's face , kissing him.

it was like a blur; all he could see was the boy caressing your cheek , grabbing your hand guiding you out of the house , before he was right back in the kitchen drinking his body weight, drowning himself in liquor , hoping to forget; forget this night , forget kissing you , forget you kissing jake.

forget one of his best friends leaving out to do god knows what with the love of his life …

「 previous - next 」

「 TAGLIST. 」 @soobieboo @sakiimeo @i03jae @byulbbini @yoontonyy @yaorzu-blog @niniissus @xcosmi @dinonuguaegi @who-tf-soddhi @stqrrgirle @insommni4 @sophiq@navikki11 @usahanami @heelovesmeknot @txpxwxk @nikiswifiee @jae-no @jiiyen @tasnemluvs @kkamismom12 @17ericas @luvvvash

©LUVYENI translations to other sites prohibited, reblogs are appreciated but not forced !

[lonelypep]

every smash bros character ranked by how good of a cook i think they’d be.

82: piranha plant

eating this dish will kill you instantly. turns out he spit some poison in there while no one was looking. and yeah, that sucks, but if you even accepted a meal from this guy i think you have bigger problems

81: ridley.

let’s be real, if you let this guy into the kitchen, you made a huge mistake. it’s like john mulaney’s horse in a hospital sketch: you never know what he’s gonna do next. you’re too focused on getting him out.

80: king k rool.

king k rool is many things. a king, a pirate, a scientist. but he is not a cook. he’ll try, but he has literally no clue what he’s even doing in the kitchen.

79: yoshi

yoshi will give you a dish and you’ll be like “what the fuck is this” and he’ll talk about how it was made from the finest newborns of his home planet. i’m deciding to ignore it but it’s really nagging at me.

78: sonic

sonic shouldn’t be on this list. because he wouldn’t make you any food. he’ll go to the local sonic and get a burger in about 3 minutes. it sucks. disqualified.

77: pac man

what can i say. it tastes like literal plastic. i don’t even wanna know how he made it. i’ll give it back to him but the nice thing about pac man is he wouldn’t give a shit.

76: bowser jr.

fuck this guy. he rage quit at making a grilled cheese. now there’s a literal canonball in the stove. now no one else can use it!! this is what happens when you spoil kids.

75: pikachu/pichu

these two are in the same category since they’d make the same thing. they’d get store bought french fries and fry them with lighting outside. it’s consistent, it works, just not really filling. and they don’t know how to make anything else.

74. wario

don’t get me wrong: he knows what he’s doing. he’s the burger king of smash. he’s this low because the burger is the most unhealthy shit you’ll ever have. eating it gave you chronic diarrhea, gastrointestinal issues, and permanently damaged your taste buds. but god fucking damn was it a good burger.

73. hero

he gave you a single piece of bread with butter on it. it’s not bad but…really dude?

72: olimar

he didn’t make you a bad meal, in fact it was one of the best here. but that’s because he didn’t make you something. it was the pikmin and he’s trying to pass it off as his own and the pikmin don’t know because they don’t speak english. 0/10: not fucking cool dude.

71: kazuya

honestly? i don’t trust this guy. i was too intimidated to even ask his name. from what i can gather no one even invited him to the party he just showed up and made a mediocre meal. what’s weird: someone came into the kitchen and claimed this guy killed their whole family. we never saw that guy again. needless to say, kazuya wasn’t invited to the afterparty.

70: link (botw)

don’t get me wrong here, link is a five star chef. he’s just really unsanitary. apparently he cut the meat and vegetables with the same sword he killed calamity ganon with. i don’t wanna taste that guy!! have you seen him?? not to mention he pulled the meal out of his pants. i don’t even know how it fit in there.

69: inkling

she made a pancake and i thought it was good! but i absolutely can’t condone this. inkling left so much fucking weird slime and shit all over my house. and got really competitive when she heard i was getting meals from everyone else. i hope they’re all ok.

68: ROB

it was so processed. the most processed food i’ve ever had in my entire life. it’s not his fault, rob is a great guy. but this tasted like literally nothing.

67: ice climbers

when they told me they were making dessert, i trusted them. but i let someone else taste test first. my best friend was sent to the hospital because of tongue frostbite. didn’t even know that was a thing. i made the ice climbers pay for it (they’re fucking loaded)

66: villager

he made isabelle do it. and she made something great! but i’m not giving this cretin credit for having the money to afford a five star chef. you don’t deserve it because you sold a shit ton of tarantulas villager!!

65: lucario.

dude got really mad and destroyed my kitchen. he’s REALLY lucky he got the burger PERFECTLY cooked.

64: male byleth.

like this dude knows how to cook. he can barely make chicken nuggets. he has to eat in the school cafeteria simply because he never learned how to cook a simple meal. but he’s a really nice guy. total himbo. love him.

63: ryu

i asked this guy what he likes to eat. big mistake. he then went on to say that his training regiment doesn’t condone copious indulgence (his words) and he lives off of nothing but protein shakes. you do you i guess.

62-61: fox/falco

these two went into the kitchen and came out with weird alien food. i didn’t eat it but everyone else seemed to enjoy it

60: greninja

when he first came out i was so excited. he came out with the most finely sliced food i had ever seen in my entire life. but it was soooo watered down. everything tasted like celery. how do you make crab taste like celery?? how??!

59-58: simon/richter

these guys both made the same exact fish recipe, came out at the same time, and proceeded to fight each other. i didn’t get to try any 😭

57-49: every fire emblem character.

genuinely, i can’t tell these guys apart. or their food choices. honestly, my bad. i’m sure they’re good. but where do i even start.

48: sheik

she doesn’t know how to cook. she kidnapped someone else. normally i wouldn’t put someone like that this high but a. i have gender envy b. it’s for the greater good (or so she said)

47: cloud

dude made a great sandwich but he kept screaming random noises while he did. personally, i’m just glad he managed not to destroy the kitchen. that’s a first here.

46: captain falcon

he promised he’d pick up some pizza but got into a car crash on the way there. eventually he got there after the car crash was all sorted out, but got into ANOTHER on the way back. i’m honestly kind of impressed

45: steve

steve could cook an absolutely fucking KILLER meal. he’ll even offer to do it for free. but you shouldn’t let him under any circumstances. he took 13 hours gathering materials and while the wait was, arguably, worth it, i never want to experience it again. (side note: we asked captain falcon to get some pizza while waiting which led to the aforementioned entry)

44: sora

sora doesn’t know how to cook but he’s by far the biggest name at this party. everyone fucking loves him. he’s friends with GOOFY. this dude hangs out with GOOFY. this guys has hung out with GOOFY AND jack sparrow. bad food but i could listen to this guy talk for hours about his story. i’m sure i’ll understand it all.

43-40: pokémon trainer

this guys organization is fucking atrocious. if he can actually get his shit together he’ll cook up some nice vegetarian meals, but that’s a big if.

HONORABLE MENTION: sans mii gunner

sans undertale is a world renowned, famous chef. his recipes are simple, but cooked with such love, care, and finess it turns a simple cheeseburger into a masterpiece. sans undertale would easily top this list. sans mii gunner is not sans undertale. he bought the real sans’ cookbook and thinks he’s some kind of cooking genius. and sure he’s got the recipes but none of the skill to actually make it.

39-38: samus/zero suit samus

hooray! we’re out of bad cook options now. samus is a great cook, but she’s so used to her alien delicacies she doesn’t know how to cook on earth anymore. shame, but i trust her to produce something edible.

37: shulk

he is really good at the grill. unfortunately, he refused to put a shirt on and made everyone a little uncomfy. that being said, he showed me the beach boys and i had never listened to them before. so he gets points.

36-35: pit/dark pit

these guys don’t know how to cook but the flew into the sky and killed some mythical bird for everyone to eat. i couldn’t have any, i’m pescatarian, but everyone else loved it.

34: bayonnetta

she opened a portal to a waffle house and a bunch of demons came flying out. she didn’t make anything, but honestly, absolutely legendary experience that was.

33: duck hunt

you’d think a dog wouldn’t bring anything meaningful. this would be false. that is the freshest duck i’ve ever seen in my entire life. (didn’t eat it: pescatarian)

32: king dedede

he made his legendary homemade mashed potatoes. everyone loved them. so creamy… weirdly perfect. too bad i hate the monarchy. sorry bud.

31: meta knight

meta knight is a great cook and should be higher. but i don’t want him to be. because he’s so fucking pretentious. he sliced all the food in front of everyone and wouldn’t shut up about radiohead. hate this guy.

30-29: daisy/peach

these two put all their private chefs together to make something for everyone. great catering, great food, but they didn’t technically make it. love them.

28: mewtwo

as if mewtwo wouldn’t just read someone’s mind and cook something. but it’s not mewtwo’s food…so…. sorry dude you cheated.

27: dark samus

she really surprised me here. she cooked up the most exquisite alien delicacies i’ve ever tasted in my entire life. should be higher. but unfortunately, i had to get a space parasite removed from my system by regular samus. honestly though… it was worth it.

26: ganon

he was rude to everyone about his cooking skills and wouldn’t stop bragging. asshole am i right? but surprised everyone by grilling his god damn heart out. he’s a bad try hard but like go off i guess.

25: isabelle

she’s trying her absolute fucking best and she deserves the world here. amazing cook, we need to save her from the island.

24: little mac

dude went so hard. brought new york pizza ALL THE WAY FROM NEW YORK. ok, not literally, but he made a damn good pizza

23: snake

full disclosure: snake doesn’t know how to cook. also no one knows he’s an agent. but he has to cook to blend in so you BEST BELIEVE this man is going to COOK like his life depends on it.

22-20: young link, ness, and lucas

all these guys are incredibly mature for their age. surprised everyone at this party. i had deep and philosophical conversations with all of them about appreciating life. i fucking cried. oh and they made everyone sandwiches, and even took my pescatarianism into account.

19: rosalina

she brought weird space ice cream and i felt my mind expanding as i ate it. love her.

18: mr game and watch

he feels like everyone’s dad! and he’s one of those cooks who cooks in front of everyone. dude flung his meals onto everyone’s plates expertly. love him.

17: joker

originally much lower on this list, joker showed up at my house and attempted to make a grilled cheese and made the worst thing i’ve ever taste. then he said something about gru from despicable me and stood in the corner for an hour. originally i had him towards the bottom but then he doordashed five gigantic burgers, ate all of them in one sitting, and then made me an expensive curry that tasted fantastic. dude went hard.

it was at this point i realized i made a mistake with the numbers. like hell if i’m going to fix the whole thing.

22: zelda

she made some weird food but damn was it pretty to look at! crystals, magic power, i mean good vibes all around here.

21-20: pyra and mythra

i feel like i should put them here since they’re confirmed to be good cooks in the game. but between you and me, i didn’t invite them. i’d consider some entries before this to be better cooks but at this point i’ve been working on this list for 8 hours i do not wanna go back and fix things please i mean this whole list is a joke no one should take this seriously

19: banjo and kazooie

these guys can fucking cook. they’ve been living on their own for a while so it makes sense but it still surprises me. they made a really big stew and even brought free puzzle games.

18: wolf

GRILL MASTER. dude knows what he’s doing on that thing. i’ve never seen better spatula work. holy shit.

17: kirby

kirby came in with some weird blonde hair and made some FANTASTIC ribs (that i didn’t have bc i’m pescatarian). weirdly, gordon ramsey went missing the same day…. i’m sure it means nothing.

16: mario

dude made some absolutely spectacular spaghetti. but he kept talking about how great he is and it really off put some people. kinda weird dude.

15: dr mario. dude brought 50 apples to the potluck. guess he doesn’t wanna see anyone in the office. and he didn’t because we ate them all. take that.

14: min min

she brought some soup dumplings which a lot of people hadn’t had! love her. literally fantastic. she had a whole arm for cooking. that’s what we call efficient.

13: ken

he’s kenough. he is amazing at barbecue. he can cook things with his hands, juggle, also he’s just a fun presence. (i made him make fake meat burgers for me)

12: jigglypuff

she showed up with so many pastries. like so many. not only that, but they were decorative!! she put so much work into that. love her.

11: luigi

he tried to make spaghetti like his brother but a literal fucking meteor slammed into his pot and cracked it. tough luck. then he offered to pay and i refused, but went out and got me some really expensive spaghetti anyways! he’s such a nice guy!! shouldn’t be this high… but i love this guy so much. he’s trying his hardest and i respect that.

10: toon link

toon link didn’t actually make anything. but his mom came and made everyone a salad. and honestly! his mom is some great company. she had so many interesting stories about his childhood. honestly she added so much to the function

9: terry

he is the BARBECUE MASTER!!!! literally what the hell how is he so good! everyone at the party kinda stereotyped him but he’s really really progressive with his views which you wouldn’t think for a big barbecue muscle guy in a baseball cap but everyone loved this guy.

8: mega man

the MASTER CHEF!! literally. he was on master chef. he uses thin round blades to slice vegetables, heats things perfectly, has an instance knowledge of spices, just damn. this guy knows what he’s doing.

7-6: bowser and donkey kong

common misconception: everyone thinks these two would have no idea how to cook. but these are FAMILY GUYS HERE!! they’re providing for absolutely gigantic families, these fuckers know how to make a sandwich and they did. initially they started off making separate sandwiches but they have a really similar recipe and decided to work together. and i really respect that. also turns out peach is just bowser’s kids’ babysitter.

5: palutena.

everyone expected her to show up with some absolutely mystical food. naturally, she showed up with the literal ambrosia of the gods. holy shit. unfortunately, she didn’t put as much effort into it as she could’ve.

4: sephiroth.

ok this guy didn’t really cook anything amazing. but his sheer fucking commitment to the vibe is literally legendary. this man has a long as sword he cut 10 veggies at a time with. he heat them with magic world ending fire. when he was done in the kitchen he surrounded himself with fire and gazed menacingly at me. his sheer commitment to the edge lord aesthetic is truly exemplary.

3: incineroar.

THE GRILLING GOAT!! this man is a grill master. he was prepared to grill ANYTHING. and i mean anything. fish, veggies, meat, fucking grilled cheese. love this guy.

2: wii fit trainer

she made the most well balanced and healthy salad i’ve ever had. and she made it taste extraordinary. she can be a little intense about fitness but i’ve never had a healthier meal in my life. it immediately lowered my extremely high cholesterol.

1. diddy kong

he’s about ten. he made you a pb&j. he had homework to do, but he made you a pb&j. he didn’t have to. he wasn’t asked to. he just wanted to make you a pb&j. he could’ve done anything else but he made you a pb&j. what heartless monster wouldn’t accept it.

[hyunniesgirl]

Tease

Pairing: Changbin x fem!reader

Summary: tired of months of teasing, Changbin just wants to have you and he's going to do anything to make you his.

Or, the one where you were kink shamed and can't trust sexual partners anymore, until Changbin shows up and sweeps you off your feet.

Words count: 4,281

Warnings: dom!Changbin, sub!reader, throat fucking, slaps(?), degradation, oral(f & m receiving), spit, use of pet names(bunny, baby), reader is called names(whore), unprotected sex(use protection irl), let me know if I forgot something

A/N: as usual let me say that I can't write smut to save my life, but I got this idea a few weeks ago and left it in my drafts, then I received this ask and I thought it fits so yeah that's it

This content is 18+, minors do NOT interact

The first time you had sex, was weird. You thought that maybe it was always like that, maybe you really wouldn't feel much pleasure on your first time.

Then, your second and third time came and you noticed you didn't feel the same way your friends told you they felt during sex. Even though you were attracted and even loved the people you slept with, you just didn't come, you didn't enjoy having sex.

That was, until a guy you dated slapped you, while trying to change positions. Although it was unintentional, that was the first time you ever moaned for real while having sex with another person. You two stopped for a moment, him trying to process what just happened and you coming to a realization: maybe, you were just going about sex the wrong way, maybe you didn't explore your options enough.

You began researching, reading about kinks and whatnot. You asked your boyfriend for help, you wanted to try new things and after that, sex was finally good. You finally understood what your friends were talking about when they told you about their sex lives.

However, that didn't last for long. Your boyfriend was not as nice of a guy as you thought. You found out he actually shared every bit of your kinks with his friends, calling you weird and saying he just went along with it because you were attractive enough.

He left his phone unlocked while going to the bathroom and you saw a text of his friends, making fun of you and the things you like.

It's an understatement to say you were left traumatized after that relationship. You know there's absolutely nothing wrong with what you like in bed, but to trust someone again was too hard.

You were so afraid of going through the same thing again so you just stopped dating altogether.

With that being said, you didn't stop teasing. That is the only thing you can have while still not sleeping with men, so you enjoy making them suffer. Leave them hard and hanging, that's your thrill.

They would all give up in a bit, a few weeks of teasing, without actually sleeping with them was enough for them to be done with you.

Until you met him.

You knew you wanted Changbin since the first time you laid eyes on him. He's just so attractive you think you could cum just by looking at him flexing his muscles. He's big, so big he could probably break you in half if you let him.

You don't know what is it about him. You felt attracted to other guys like him before, gym bros are not usually your type but some catch your eye once in a while. However, Changbin has something more, he's not just hot. He's funny, a great dancer and he's just so sure about his masculinity that he doesn't see it necessary to keep reiterating it all the time like other guys do.

You still decided not to sleep with him, you are part of the same friend group, so he knows everyone you do. You really don't think he's the type to brag about his feats in bed but if he ever ended up being like your ex boyfriend, you would never be able to look at your friends again.

You are not ashamed of your preferences, but at the same time it's just something so intimate you wish only you and your partner would know about it.

You thought he would give up like the others, maybe in a month he would get over it and stop trying to win you over. But you were wrong, it's been months already and you're stuck in this cat and mouse situation with no sign of him letting go.

It all started when you met the boys for the first time. Your best friend, Ryunjin, talked all the time about these guys she met at a party, how they became super close and that you'd love them.

It was Ryunjin’s birthday, so you met them at a restaurant. Your eyes scanned through all of the boys when you arrived, they were all too good looking, is it even possible for a whole friend group of seven people to all be so damn attractive?

“Wait, seven? Didn't Ryunjin say they were eight?”

You felt a hand slightly touching your back, turning around to find kind eyes staring right back at you.

“Are you going to sit, miss?” He asked.

“Y-yes”, you stuttered, trying to compose yourself.

“Why were you so late?” Ryunjin asked, you're not sure if she's speaking to you or the guy.

“Traffic was insane”, you two answered together, snapping your heads to look at each other, smiling playfully.

“I'm Changbin, by the way”, he said, pointing at the empty seat and pulling the chair for you to sit.

“I'm y/n”, you answered shyly, seeing him sitting by your side even though there were plenty of seats available closer to his friends.

As you drank a bit through the night, you caught his lingering eyes on you too many times and you're sure he caught you eyeing him up too. He made jokes, throwing his arms to the back of your chair and coming closer to you.

The amount of times you just wanted to tell him to take you home was actually crazy, no man ever made you feel that way. The warmth you felt when he got close to you was something hard to explain, you felt all your insides turning around and your pussy was throbbing just by feeling his breath hitting on your skin when he turned in your direction to speak to you.

You were able to escape that night, forcing yourself to say goodbye and walk away with all the willpower you had in you.

Things didn't stop there, though. It became usual for you to hangout with the guys. They are always so nice and cheerful, it's great being around them.

Changbin is always close to you, making jokes so he can see your beautiful smile, taking the opportunity to touch you at every chance he gets. Sometimes he'll put his hand on your lower back while walking with you, other times he'll touch your arms while talking. If you are eating together, he'll nonchalantly lick his finger and press it to the corner of your mouth to clean the mess you made on your face, like that's not the hottest shit a man can do.

He's just always there, the first one to hug you when you arrive, the one who walks you to your car or uber when the night is over. His clothes are the ones you sleep in when they invite you to a sleepover and to say you don't have wet dreams all the time, while sleeping embraced by his scent, it would be a lie.

"Why don't you just fuck him?" Ryunjin asks, while you eye fuck Changbin from the other side of the room. You're in a corner of his living room, there's music playing in the background while everyone is waiting for the food you all ordered. He's looking so good with a black tight t-shirt that outlines all his muscles and baggy sweats that do little to hide his nice ass. You're probably drooling at this point.

“You know why”, you tell her, Ryunjin knows all about your bad experiences.

“You've known him for months now, it's obvious he's not like that prick of your ex”, she says and you nod, you do know it.

“It's just hard”, you sigh. Trusting someone again over something so delicate to you is difficult.

“Yeah, I get it”, she smiles sympathetically to you. “But you know he'll reach his limit at some point, right?”

“I don't know what you're talking about”, you say, looking at her with doe eyes and an angelic smile.

“You know exactly what I'm talking about”, Ryunjin rolls her eyes, “you've been playing this teasing game for a while and he'll get sick of it at some point”

It's true that you've been enjoying yourself since you noticed his interest in you and you did what you do best, tease.

You touch him all the time, while his touches are subtle and shy, you're much more obvious about it. You play with his hair when you're sitting close to each other, a leg over his. He's so respectful, his hands never go above your knees. You shamelessly touch his biceps, squeezing them while biting on your lips, oh how you wish this man would put you in a headlock with said biceps.

Every time you touch him, he gets horny, it's a spontaneous reaction that only you could cause. It never happened to him before, he dreams about the dirty things he could do to you. You're so fragile, so beautiful, he wants to ruin you, break you so no one would ever want you, then you'd be his forever.

While you're indeed afraid he'll get sick of your antics, Changbin is sure he'll never give up. He wanted you since the first moment your eyes locked with his and he'll make you his, no matter how long it takes.

"Wait", you say too loudly as soon as WAP starts playing, "THAT'S MY JAM", you grab Ryunjin's hand, making her stand up to dance with you.

You sing along, watching some of the boys coming up to you two, dancing around and laughing at your excitement.

Turning around, you look at the kitchen, seeing Changbin leaning against the counter, watching you. He would usually join the dance, but not tonight, his eyes are fixated on you, making you feel like you two are the only people in the room.

He has only a beer in his hand, a smirk on his lips and dirty thoughts in his mind. He decides that tonight you're going to pay for all the times you left him hard just for the fun of it.

You have no idea what's in store for you, so you keep teasing him, sliding your hands down your body, rolling your hips, staring shamelessly at Changbin.

You look around for a bit, making sure no one’s looking at your little scene. It's crazy how this song just makes you feel — horny and needy for someone that will really put you in your place. You sigh, looking back at Changbin, he's still watching you, a frown on his face now. He's muttering something you obviously can't hear because of the distance but his eyes are dark like you have never seen before.

The music ends leaving you satisfied with the results. Changbin is still staring at you, or better, eyefucking you.

The food you ordered doesn't take too long to arrive, so you sit happily at the table with everyone, talking like you didn't just make him get as hard as a rock just from your dancing. He feels like he's losing his mind, you're too much for him already and he didn't even fuck you yet.

You go to the bathroom before going home, you're kinda sleepy already so you want to wash your face so you won't fall asleep in the uber.

After throwing some water on your face, you stare at yourself in the mirror for a moment. You're such a coward, you wish you had the courage to make a move on Changbin for real.

Sighing, you get yourself together, opening the door ready to go home and forget this whole night. You didn't expect to bump into the man you so much desire right outside, leaning on the wall with his muscular arms crossed in front of his chest.

You flinch at the look he gives you, the smile that grows on his lips is everything but friendly, so on instinct you take a step back.

“H-hey”, you say, trying to recompose yourself. “Do you want to use the bathroom?” You step outside, awkwardly, leaving room for him to go inside.

“I sent everyone home”, he takes a deep breath, walking towards you. “Now it's just you and me, I think it's time for us to talk”

“Aren't we already doing that?” You laugh, sheepishly, stepping back again only to bump in the wall.

Changbin tsks, putting his hands on your waist and pressing his body against yours.

“It's time for you to stop playing games, bunny”, he tells you, he's too close, his nose is almost touching yours. “You fucked around enough already”

You feel the air get stuck in your throat, what are you going to do now? Your mind can't think of a way to get out of this situation and you feel like if you reject him now, it's over. You don't want it to be over, you want him so badly it's crazy.

Changbin sees the opening he needs, you're considering his proposition.

“Let me make you feel good, hm? I've been wanting you for so long, let me have you”, he continues, trying to persuade you. “I promise you won't regret it”

You can feel his hard cock pressing against your stomach, you want to let him do anything to you. The problem is the consequences later, but you decide to let the y/n of the future to handle that, you just want him to fuck you senseless right now.

You take a deep breath, nodding and in a split of a second his lips are on yours, hungrily attacking your poor mouth. He's being too harsh, you know he doesn't mean to hurt you and the way you can feel how much he wants this makes you more turned on.

He slides his hands from your waist to your hips, pulling you away from the wall so he can grab your ass. He squeezes it, groaning, it's so good to finally have you. Oh, the things he wants to do to you.

Changbin taps twice on your thighs, holding you tightly so you can wrap your legs around his hips. He carries you all the way to his room without disconnecting his mouth from yours, you're not sure how you didn't have to stop yet so you could breathe.

As soon as he gets closer to his bed, he bites your lower lip. He throws you on the bed, taking his shirt off. His body is so much better than you imagined, his chest looks like it was sculpted by an artist.

He climbs on the bed, leaning over you and brushing his nose on yours, softly caressing your cheek, taking your hair out of your face.

"Why did you take so long to let me have you, hm?" He leans more, kissing your collarbone and biting your shoulder, making you flinch.

"I was scared", you whisper, closing your eyes to the sensation of his lips on your skin.

"Did you think I would hurt you?" He asks, worriedly, hands coming instantly to cup your face.

"No, I know you wouldn't", you sigh, "I just had some really bad experiences with other people and was scared”

He's relieved he was not the one you were afraid of, but at the same time he's angry, he wants to know who's the asshole who made you feel bad about yourself.

"I won't do anything you don't want to, bunny", he gives a peck on your lips, "let's go slowly, hm? I'll do a bit of everything and you can tell me if I should go further or slow down, alright?"

You nod, feeling one of his hands sliding slowly from your face to your scalp, grabbing a handful of your hair and pulling it slightly.

"Should I keep going?" He asks in a whisper, already knowing your answer by the way your lips parted and your cheeks reddened.

"Yes, please", you plead, looking him in the eyes and seeing a smirk grow on his lips.

“Tell me, bunny, do you want me to be rough? Or do you want me to be soft?”

You stare at him for a bit, he's looking at you so intently, waiting for your answer. You never thought someone would ask you this question, ask how they could make you feel good.

“Rough”, you blush, avoiding his gaze. He grabs your face, squeezing your cheeks harshly.

"That's good”, he gives a peck on your pouting lips, “because you deserve a punishment for all the times I had to jerk off by myself thinking of you", he points out, pulling your hair harder and making you moan, leaving your neck exposed. He takes the opportunity, leaning closer and licking the bare skin, sucking and biting it hard. After making sure he marked you, Changbin sits.

"Undress", he tells you while he watches you, sitting comfortably on the bed. When you don't move, he scoffs. "Or should I rip your clothes apart? I don't mind", he smirks and you look down to your expensive new dress, you actually would like him to rip your clothes, but not this one.

So you shake your head, taking off your dress. You try covering yourself a bit, feeling too exposed. You're wearing only your panties since you didn't need a bra for that dress.

"You look so beautiful bare and ready for me", he says, grabbing your hand and pulling you closer to the edge of the bed.

"Sit here, bunny", he says, tapping the place by his side. "Tell me, how do you think I should punish you?"

"I- I don't know"

He frowns, smiling slightly.

"Are you sure?"

"Whatever you want", you say, feeling the warmth grow in your cheeks. "You can do anything you want."

Changbin sucks in the air between his teeth, a big smile on his face.

"I like the sound of that", he chuckles, lifting his hand to your face and squeezing it, "now before we can finally start, tell me if there's anything you don't want tonight"

You take a deep breath, looking deep into his eyes.

"There's nothing, I'll tell you if I feel uncomfortable", you say confidently.

"Hm, I like it. You're so good for me, baby", he stands up, taking off his sweats and underwear, sitting back with his legs open. He's so hard and pretty, you even salivate looking at his cock.

"Get on your knees", he commands and you do just that, feeling the hardwood scratching your skin. "Come here and open your mouth for me okay? I want you to show me how sorry you are for making me wait for so long"

You nod, lifting your shaky hands to grab the base of his cock, you're not sure how much you'll be able to fit in your mouth but the simple thought of sucking him makes your excitement drip from your cunt. Changbin puts his hands on the bed, looking at you with a condescending smile, just waiting.

You lean closer, wrapping his cock with your mouth, making him groan. You lick his shaft all the way up to his leaking head, twirling with your tongue at the top.

“Fuck”, he says, bringing one of his hands to your head, grabbing a fistful of your hair and forcing you down. You feel the tears brimming in your eyes, your throat is burning with the assault. “Look at you, looking so pretty gagging on my cock”

You moan, feeling your core aching, your hand slides involuntarily to your clit trying to have some release. His cock hits the back of your throat once again, making the tears run through your cheeks, you try to catch your breath but he keeps fucking your mouth violently.

“Oh my”, he smiles, “are you touching yourself? Did I say you could do that?” He asks condescendingly, “I guess whores can't help themselves”

He releases your hair, finally letting you breathe.

“So you like the pain, right? I have so many things in store for you”, he gets closer.

You're too intoxicated, eyes glossy from the tears and lips swollen. Your mascara is smudged all over your face.

“Are you okay?” He asks, taking your face into his hands once more, making you look at him, “do you want to keep going?”

You nod, frantically. “Yes, please”

He smiles satisfied, pushing you on the bed. Changbin kisses your feet, trailing softly over your legs, all the way up to your thighs. He leans over, biting the inside of your thigh, earning a whimper from you. Leaning over your pussy, he doesn't waste time, eagerly sucking on your clit and licking long stripes between your folds. Your hands automatically go to his head, pulling him closer to your core.

He inserts a finger inside you, looking up to see your beautiful face contorted in pleasure while he works with his fingers and tongue. You had forgotten how it felt to have a good fuck, how delicious the pain is. You're clenching around his fingers, so Changbin knows you're almost cumming, that's when he stops.

“What the hell?” You whine, trying to touch your clit with your hand so you can finish it yourself but he doesn't let you, grabbing your face harshly, squeezing your cheeks.

“You should take what I give you”, he says, “Open your mouth”, he commands, spitting inside, “now, swallow”

You feel all your insides turn around, you could cum just by the hold he has on you. Your pussy is throbbing so much it hurts, but it's so good.

“Binnie, please”, you whine, ready to beg for him to fuck you.

“Hm? Tell me what you want, bunny”

“Please fuck me, please, please”, you beg.

“If you ask this nicely I can't deny”, he smirks, climbing on top of you. He's huge, strong arms on each of your sides, trying not to put too much weight over you. He pulls you by your ankles, positioning himself in the middle of your legs.

You try grabbing his cock so you can put it in already, you're too desperate but he swings a slap on your ass, making you whimper to the pain, you were not expecting that.

“I told you to take what I give you, bunny”

He slides his cock up and down on your wet folds, feeling like he could die at any moment by feeling your warmth embracing his cock.

“Put it in, Binnie”, you plead again, desperate to feel him inside you.

“Fuck, babe, you're so fucking pretty”, he tells you while teasing, “but do you deserve it? You made a fool out of me all this months”

You feel your eyes brim with tears again, feeling the little bit of stimulation he's giving you by slightly touching the head of his cock to your clit.

“I'm sorry, I'm really sorry”, you sob, “it wasn't just you. I went back home every time and fucked myself thinking about you”

“Shit”, he groans, sliding his cock inside you with no warning, you scream to the sudden intrusion in your sensitive cunt but it gets stuck in your throat while you sob. “Tell me everything you want me to do, yeah?”

He's thrusting violently into you, gripping your hips into place so he can have you exactly where he wants you to be.

“I want you to fucking break me”, you tell him, “choke me, bite me, do anything, I'm yours”

Changbin slams into you even harder listening to those words, he slides his hand up, wrapping it around your throat. He tightens the grip, cutting the air off.

“My beautiful princess wants me to fuck her senseless?” You feel your orgasm closer, the sensations you're feeling all over your body makes it feel like you're in a haze, completely lost in pleasure. The knot in your stomach grows so big, it feels like it explodes, making you shake and arch your back, feeling overwhelmed by all the pleasure.

Changbin keeps going hard, feeling you clench around him just makes him get closer to his own climax. He takes his hand out of your throat, holding your hips for support.

“Do it inside”, you whisper out of breath, feeling his cock twitching inside you. He cums a few moments later, feeling your pussy sucking all of him.

He collapses on top of you, supporting himself in his arms, not wanting to weigh on you but still wanting to stay inside of you. You help him by wrapping your arms around his waist and flipping you two, now you are the one on top of him and his cock is still buried inside you.

You lay on his chest, hearing his heartbeat, not sure what to say now. You're afraid he'll judge you, even though it looked like he enjoyed the same as you, your ex boyfriend seemed to like it too. What if this was just a one time thing for him? You're not sure if you'll be able to be with other people after this night.

As if he can hear your intrusive thoughts, Changbin wraps his arms around you, kissing the top of your head.

“Should I call you my girlfriend now or should we go on a date first?”

You snap your head over at him, wide eyes and a big smile on your lips.

“I think you'll have to do much more to be able to call me your girlfriend”, you smile playfully.

“Oh? My bunny is so greedy”, he gives a peck on your lips, “I can get used to that”

-------

A/N: If you like what I write please reblog or let me know in the comments, feedback gives me motivation to keep writing.

[n3ptoonz]

Can I get SFW and nsfw bi han headcanons pleaseee

bi han!sub-zero sfw/nsfw hcs

y'all know the rules; includes reader

SFW

absolutely hates loud music but catch him blasting soft jazz or traditional instrumental music that you can hear throughout the temple

another chronic tea lover like you'll never not see him with a mug in his hand or sitting on his desk, and you can best believe it's never empty

he hates surprises. unless they're from you then he's more like "oh...that's nice. thank you." with a lowkey wholesome attempt at a genuine smile (you are the first person to ever actually see him smile)

he has a soft spot for flowers. literally any kind of flower and this becomes obvious if you roam around his temple and see all the pretty vases with their hand made bouquets by yours truly

he has the best hand writing out of the trio. i'm talking like calligraphy master type shit and he even offered to teach you so you could write to him when he has to go away on long missions

i'm giggling at the thought that the "this isn't you" speech would work on him😭his short temper and grumpy demeanor gets him into so much shit and when you give him those eyes he's like "grumble grumble...fine."

at the start of your relationship he was the same but very very slowly became more patient with general things. he still has those moments though and you gotta be the level headed one or else nothing gets done

NSFW

roughest out of the three. who else is surprised? right. it did take him a while to learn control so you'd be able to leave his room not limping for once!

TITTY/CHEST ENTHUSIAST. i will die on this hill. he gets so grabby like he saw something shiny. y'all remember when his eyes damn near glossed over when he saw the coins on the ground? that's exactly the face he makes. dudes a sucker [all pun intended]

i feel like once he learns how to be gentle he's so caring. after care becomes more prominent cause sheesh the way the room looks when yall done is...😧 but seriously i think he'd be so attentive too asking if you're okay in the heat of the moment before going right back to fuckin yo shi up

groan city population him. soft mutter central. you could swear you've heard a small whimper before but he refuses to ever acknowledge it ever again LMAOOO

you [did]nt hear this from me but...he likes wax play. actually, temperature play now that i think about it. you didn't even need to suggest it cause he experimented with it once when his cold handprints were still on your hips. the second he could sense you were into it, now you gotta do it in moderation cause bro is a lil too excited

he likes to be choked.

i know i say this every time but idgaf he turns into a lil bitch when his hair is pulled. that tough guy shit is GONE once your nails meet his scalp. he has once came on the spot from it too, another thing to never bring up again LOL

[springgirlshowers]

Hi love! what do you think about joost x reader where joost is jealous of some guy who is flirting with y/n, then joost becomes possesive and they have a fight which results in angry sex and in the end they make up????

Can’t Help It

Pairing: Joost x Fem!Reader

CW: MDNI. arguing, miscommunication, oral (f recieving), angry sex, p in v, pwp, unprotected sex wrap it before you tap it!!!!, teasing, praise, degradation if you squint, aftercare <3

WC: 2555

A/N: tbh i didn’t know how to transition into arguing to sex so i just used the classic kissing to shut the other person up, hope you like it anyways 😚

Joost had a white knuckle grasp on his drink and a clenched jaw so hard it seemed like he could crack his teeth.

“You good bro?” Apson spoke out, Joost didn’t answer, still too focused on you and the random guy at the bar. “Dude.” Apson shoved his shoulder a bit, then repeating his question.

“No. That guy over there’s being way too flirty with Y/N.” He muttered out.

“Don’t just stand there, do something about it if you don’t like it.” Apson shrugged.

Joost didn’t wanna seem like a possessive, way too overprotective boyfriend.

You were absolutely breathtaking, he knew there would be guys who would try their luck with you, only to be rejected in the end. He knew because it’s happened before. You were able to shut down multiple of them before.

But he really didn’t like the way this guy was getting close, leaning in and saying something that made you throw your head back and laugh. His blood boiled when he saw the man graze your arm with your hand, still noticing the way you moved it away a bit.

“What, like punch him out?” Joost scoffed. Apson rolled his eyes.

“Alright he didn’t say that, just show him that she’s already got someone and that he should back off.” Stuntje added in.

“Yeah.” Joost sighed, putting his beer down on the table and getting up from the booth. Walking over to you with an aggressive stride.

“Hey, having fun?” Joost said in a sweet voice, immediately wrapping his arm around your shoulder.

“Oh, yeah! I’m doing great!” You grinned at him. Usually the sight of your joyful face would calm Joost down in a second, but tonight he was way too pissed for it to work.

“Oh, hey. I’m Adriaan-“

“Yeah, that’s great.” Joost cut the brown haired guy off. He pressed a sweet kiss to the side of your head, staring down Adriaan across from you. Oblivious to it, you only giggled and scrunched your nose.

“I just came over to let you know we should head home soon. We gotta get up early in the morning, remember?” He rubbed your arm.

“What? What’s happening in the morning?” You had no idea what he was talking about. From what you knew, there were no plans tomorrow at all.

“We gotta go.” Joost masked over his anger with a soft voice, trying so hard not to shove Adriaan away.

“It was nice meeting you, Y/N.” Joost so badly wanted to cause a scene at the way he said your name in such a sultry tone.

“Yeah.” Joost only said in response, turning you away and took you with him before you could respond.

You said Joosts name repeatedly as he took you outside, noticing the awkward stares from his friends on the other side of the bar.

“Joost, what’s going on?” You asked once you were outside.

He didn’t respond, instead he waved down a cab.

“Are you alright? Did something happen?” You asked worriedly, waiting for the car to arrive in front of you.

“No.”

“Then what is it?”

“It’s nothing. We can talk about it when we get home.” He said stoically. The cab stopped and he opened the door for you, though confused by how he was acting, you still got in.

“If it’s nothing, why don’t you just tell me now?” You questioned once he hopped in the car, slamming the door, and giving the driver the address.

He was silent. He didn’t want to be another couple arguing in the back of this random drivers car. You stared at him, jaw ajar, waiting for a reaction. Nothing.

“God, fine, if you wanna act like an asshole go ahead.” You scoffed, crossing your arms and slumping back in your seat.

The ride back to your shared house was dead silent, the driver put on the radio eventually. Most likely feeling the thick tension between you too.

Neither of you spoke until the apartment door shut behind you.

“Okay, now do you wanna tell me what’s got you so pissed off?” You threw your bag on the coffee table, standing with crossed arms.

“I’m just frustrated, I didn’t like the way that guy was flirting with you at the bar.” He muttered, kicking his shoes off.

“Flirting? He was just being friendly!” You scoffed in disbelief.

“He was practically eyefucking you.” He stared at you.

“Oh my god! Is that all you think about when you see a guy look at me?”

“No! It was the way he was all over you! Did you not notice the way he was touching you?” He gestured, then walking down the hallway into the bedroom. You followed.

“He grazed my arm once. You’re being overdramatic, Joost.”

“Do you not realize how he was staring you down? He obviously wanted something bigger than being friendly.” He took off his glasses, setting them down and moving to unbutton his shirt.

“He was just being nice! I was just being nice!” You threw your arms up, “I’m allowed to have guy friends!”

“I never said you weren’t.” Joost shook his head, sliding his shirt off now, his chest fully bare and him turning to you.

“Not every single guy that comes up to me wants to fuck me! Get your mind out the of gutter.” You continued on, but before you could get another angry word out, Joost grabbed the sides of your face and pulled you into a heated kiss.

When you pulled away, you looked at him shocked and confused.

“What was-“

“Shut up, please, just shut up.” He said breathlessly, the anger in his voice was now replaced with passion and wanting.

You leaned back into the kiss, basically devouring each other as you moved your hands up his neck and into his hair.

The back of your legs hit the bed and you both fell back onto it, letting out a small giggle against his lips once your back touched the mattress.

Joost moved his mouth down to your jaw then neck, you could feel his smirk against your skin when you let out a shaky breath.

His hands moved underneath your shirt, rubbing up and down your sides, then lifting up the hem a bit.

“Please.” You nodded as he looked up at you, giving him your approval.

He removed your shirt, throwing it somewhere on the floor, then moving his lips to your chest. Soon your bra landed in the same spot as your shirt.

He gripped your breast in his palm, squeezing and playing with your nipple as he pressed open mouthed kisses to your other one. You squirmed slightly at the way his breath tickled.

“I’m still angry at you.” You groaned out.

“Yeah? I can fix that for you.” He teased, mouth going farther and farther down.

Before you could get a snarky response out, he swiftly pulled down your shorts, along with your underwear, causing you to let out a loud gasp.

He spread apart your legs and licked a stripe up your cunt, not wasting any time to please you.

His tongue got to work quickly, licking circles all around your bundle of nerves, causing you to arch your back.

He pushed at your entrance with the tip of his tongue before going back to your clit, sucking on it.

You were withering around, Joost wrapped his arms around your thighs, pulling you closer to him and keeping you in place.

Your legs began to shake and he knew you were close, so close, almost there.

Then he pulled away, and you were left with nothing.

“No, no, no!” You cried out involuntarily, now just sexually frustrated.

“Calm down, I’ll give what you want.” He said, chin glistening with your wetness, sliding his index and middle finger through your slick folds.

He smoothly slid his fingers inside you, letting out another moan, shutting your eyes as he curled them.

He leaned his head down to kiss you, you tried your best to kiss him back, but with the state of bliss he was putting you in, you were barely able to close yours around his.

He found it adorable.

“Open your eyes, come on, look at me.” He tapped at your face, your eyes fluttered. “I know you can do it.” He encouraged, you were able to but your eyelids were still droopy.

“You gonna cum, schatje?” He teased.

“No.” You shook your head, locking your gaze with his.

“No?” He tilted his head, staring at you with a mocking expression.

“No- oh!” You whimpered as his fingers began to move faster, hitting your sweet spot repeatedly and causing you to clench around his fingers.

You didn’t want him to stop, God, you prayed he wouldn’t stop. But your reflexes and not knowing what to do with your hands made you grab onto his wrist, but he didn’t slow down, only grinning at.

The way he smiled and kept his gaze on you helped push you over the edge, you let out a string of moans and came all over his fingers, he let you ride out your orgasm as long as he could.

Slowing down and stopping once your legs began to twitch. He removed his fingers from you and you clenched around nothing.

“Do you wanna continue?” He asked, his sweetness peeking through his dominant attitude.

“Please, yes please.” You said breathlessly, Joost gave you that cute smile where his eyes squint.

“Flip over for me, please.” He already had his hands on your waist, helping you turn over.

You got on your hands and knees, back arched and ass up.

The noise of his belt un-clicking and hitting the floor along with his jeans made you bite your bottom lip in excitement.

Joost slipped off his boxers, using the precum on his tip and giving his cock a few rubs with his hand and then against your wetness.

As he pushed in slowly, your fingers gripped the sheets on the bed, digging into the comforter.

Once his cock was fit snug all the way inside you, he peppered kisses all along your back.

He pulled out and pushed in slowly at first, letting you get used to the feeling. Soon beginning to speed up, slow thrusts turning into fast ones, deeper and a bit rougher.

His cock hitting your sweet spot over and over, you slid off your hands and laid face first into the bed, already unraveling and unable to hold yourself up.

Joost pulled you up, one arm wrapped around your waist, the other placed at the top of your chest.

“No one can fuck you like I can.” He whispered in your ear. You shook your head in agreement. “Say it. Tell me yourself.” The power trip was showing in this moment, you didn’t care, it was hot.

“No one can- oh god, can fuck me like you do.” You cried out.

“Not even that fucker from the bar.”

“Not even him. Never him. Never anyone.” You said through your moans. He shifted his hand down to your clit, rubbing quick circles.

“Exactly.” He grinned as he felt you clenching tightly around him, knowing you were about to be pushed over the edge. You tried your best to keep from orgasming so soon.

“It’s okay, don’t hold back, you can let go.” His words were the cherry on top. You let out an embarrassingly loud moan as you came, going limp in his arms, becoming a puddle.

Joost let go and let you fall against the bed, a blissed out smile on your face against the mattress.

“You’re not gonna quit on me yet, right?” He scattered kisses all along your spine. You shook your head.

“Good, now come here, schat.” He said, sitting on the bed and shifting up until his back hit the wall.

You crawled over, stopping when your face was in front of his dick, you grabbed it and began to move your fist up and down around it. He cupped your face, making you look at him.

“You don’t have to do that, liefje, just sit on it.” He rubbed your cheek. You did as he said, sitting up and hovering above him. Holding onto his shoulders as you sinked down onto his cock, letting out small squeaks and whimpers the entire time.

You began to lift and lower your hips, he placed his hands on your sides, helping you move at a steady pace.

“You’re doing so good, so good for me.” He praised, looking at your watery eyes. “You’re doing perfect.” He said through a whisper.

He thrusted up as you rolled your hips, making you let out another loud gasp at the feeling.

“Still angry at me, liefje?” He tilted his head, you shook your head, biting your lip.

“I love you.” You moaned out.

“Ja? You do?”

“Mhm.” You couldn’t keep up with his pace, you slumped against his chest, hiding your face in the crook of his neck.

“I thought you were mad at me? Huh?” There was still that mocking tone in his voice.

“Mm-mm.” Your eyes began to water from the overstimulation.

“Oh, fuck, I love you too liefje. So much.” He turned, kissing the side of your head.

“I love you, I love you, love you, love you, love you.” You were an absolute babbling mess, completely fucked dumb.

Tears began to fall from your eyes, the overstimulation from your two previous orgasms making you nearly see stars as you approached your third.

“Oh god, oh fuck, I’m close.” You sobbed.

“Shh, I know, I know.” He began to quicken his pace, cock hitting deeper inside you.

You let out a loud squeal into his shoulder as you came undone for the third time tonight.

“There you go, there you go.” Joost kissed, your face fell against his shoulder as you let out small strangled moans.

“Hold on for just a few more seconds, schat, I know you can.” He kissed your shoulder, his hips began to stutter and his pace became faster. With one final hard thrust he came, a warmth spreading inside you.

The both of you were now both sweaty and out of breath against each other, the room silent, the only sound being your heartbeats and heavy breaths.

Joost moved his hands to your face, cupping it gently and pulling it up to have you looking at him.

“I’m sorry I got so mad. I didn’t mean to get so jealous.” He spoke out, rubbing away the tears that had fell with his thumbs.

“No, it’s okay. I understand it now, I didn’t mean to be so stupid.” You sighed, wrapping your arms around his neck. He frowned at the negative self talk.

“You’re not stupid schatje, you were just trying to be friendly.” He leaned in to give you a kiss on your forehead. “I know not to get so angry at you next time, it wasn’t your fault.” He whispered.

“It wasn’t yours either.”

“You sure you’re not frustrated with me still?”

“No, I can’t hate you after you made me cum three times.” You bit back your smile, playing with his hair. “You’re perfect.”

“I’m sweaty.” He let out a tired breath.

“Go take a shower, freak.”

“Take one with me?”

[brokenlovesong]

The JPC Darrel analysis I promised

Alright guys same deal as the last with just as much chaos. Sorry this took three years

Anyways. JPC DARREL LETS GET INTO IT

So he plays the youngest Darrel, no doubt. He’s tall but much smaller both physically and the way he portrays himself on stage. Using this he really plays into it. He’s a much less angry Darrel, more tied than anything else.

I think runs in the family reprise is where his version of Darrel really shines. He plays it very differently from Brent, Victor, or even Dan. He’s just so tired of it all. He doesn’t even start yelling until the end once pony has pushed him to his brink. When he sits down during the “you don’t tell me when you’re coming home lately” line it’s much less confrontational. He’s trying to stay calm and reason with his brother. It’s not until the “tired of lifting you up” part that he’s finally losing control and breaking. That’s the first time I think I genuinely saw him angry and even then he’s consciously trying to reign himself in but pony keeps pushing. And dude he YELLS “You have no idea what I give up for you” and because he didnt spend the song nearly as angry as like Brent does, that scared me so much because he just snapped.

I wanna talk about the scene between Darrel and dally because that scene was done in a way I’ve never seen it before by both Jpc and Josh Boone. Jpc is a much less physically intimidating Darrel. Especially compared to Josh Boone. That was taken into account by both of them which I have to give so much praise for because they did such a wonderful job. Darrel went in thinking he could push dally into revealing. He clearly had no intent to fight him. He was taunting him. But let me tell you dally knew how to play Darrel like a fiddle. He knew exactly what buttons to push in a way Darrel couldn’t. While he normally yells half that scene, dally didn’t raise his voice ONCE. He was even SMILING at the end because he wanted Darrel to swing at him. Dally loves fights and he knows he could easily win against jpc Darrel. So he played him. Decided to see how far he could push because if Darrel swung he could easily take him. Absolutely fantastic scene and lemme tell you Josh Boone calmly speaking the last bit of the scene with a smile? ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING

Now throwing in the towel. So jpc flubbed the first part and bro I’ve never been more stressed (probably not as stressed as him tho LMAO) but he managed to keep it together which I give him so much credit for. He took his anxiety and stress and used that as a focus for his acting the rest of the scene. Other actors usually play this scene as very defeated. But he was much more anxious about pony and what’s to come next. And tbh this is the most in it I’ve ever seen Jason. Now I love Jason but I have found his acting style to be more passive then I’d like in some scenes (JUST MY OPINION PLEASE DONT ATTACK ME) I think because of what happened to jpc not only was he soda trying to comfort Darrel, I saw Jason trying to comfort jpc and it made the scene so much more beautiful and strong.

Overall, jpc Darrel is wonderful. My only main issue is that I felt like he read too similar in age to Brody as ponyboy and frankly Jason read older than him. Nothing to do with his acting. Jpc is an incredible actor. But I just feel like with the cast the way they are, while he reads as Darrel’s actual age, much of the cast reads older than their characters and so this does affect how he’s seen.

I did see him as soda too, with Dan darry, and I thought he was literally like who I envisioned soda to be when I read the book. Like he gave such soda energy it was incredible

[illubean]

Hi, I just stumbled onto your blog and I love your writing. If you’re accepting requests then can I please request Chorollo, Illumi, and Feitan with a s/o reader similar to Shizuo Hewajima from Durarara. Basically they’re crazy strong without any enhancements and when they get angry their known to throw cars, vending machines, street signs, etc. maybe they get caught in the cross fire when the reader is attacking someone who pissed them off and are amazed by the readers natural strength. Please and thank you.

HXH W/ a ShizuoHewajima!S/o

Characters: Illumi Zoldyck, Chrollo Lucilfer, Feitan Portor Type: Crack, Headcanons, Gn!Reader

i never actually watched Durarara but...hes kind of fine.....

Warnings: violence but it's silly

Illumi Zoldyck

you guys met under odd circumstances

he was out with Hisoka for...whatever reason and both of them turned around at the sudden scream of the magicians name

his face goes paler than it already is before he turned to Illumi and was like "Well, I gotta run now. Tata!"

and you are literally sprinting after the clown at full speed wielding a stop sign that still had bits of concrete attached to it's base

and Illumi's like that's weird I don't sense any aura from them

the next time he encounters you is at a bar, where he was to meet his red haired companion once again

you apologize for him having to see you chase down Hisoka like that, explaining that you don't particularly like violence but your anger get's the best of you

he was already intrigued that you were assumedly able to rip a stop sign out of the ground so naturally he asks you about it

"So I take it you're an enhancer?" "Enhancer of what?"

now he is even more interested

do you have some sort of nen ability that even yourself didn't know about?

and then Hisoka is like no, they just strong like that

and he's like Oh.

every time he has seen an exhibition of your strength, Hisoka had always been on the receiving end of your wrath

and he decides that even though you may or may not be nenless, you are powerful enough to be made into his spouse one day

Chrollo Lucilfer

bro was in a disguise just walking around town when he first met you

as he was walking he saw some dude get tossed through a shop window with a table following suit

"AND STAY OUT YOU SON OF A BITCH! I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR YOUR SHIT"

Chrollo peeked through the broken to see you standing there, angrily and seemingly underpaid

and he was surprised that it was you who managed to throw both a grown man and a table through a window and across the street

you seemed like every average person so how the hell did you even do that?

and being the crazy yet curious guy he is he steps in through the broken window and you're like oh fuck that was unprofessional

and you chat and you tell him you don't like absolutely bodying people like that but your body has a mind of it's own when angry

and you apologized to him for almost catching him in the crossfire

bro asks for your number then boom you start dating

and he's learned how to avoid ticking you off

yeah, sometimes he makes you mildly angry and gets a mug or two chucked at him but he has yet to be on the receiving end of a literal boulder or large household appliance

Feitan Portor

it was him

he was the one that managed to piss you off

how? who knows

but you are chucking very large pieces of rubble in his direction and he's kind of regretting whatever he said though he'd never admit it

he's encountered many strong people in his life but you're lifting literal boulders WITHOUT nen?

scary

he's probably watched you have a lifting competition with Uvo and win

how the hell did you win against a literal beefy giant!? he will never know

at some point in yorknew, you lifted an entire police car above your head and tossed it like it was nothing

and he develops some sort of silent respect for your strength

he thinks its kind of hot

sorry i have no clue where to go with this

[cerebralisis]

I decided to make my analysis of So High School into a separate post, because I can’t help but think of this song every time I see photos of Taylor at the games. And sure, it sounds like a love song on the surface until you remember that Taylor was bullied in high school and start to dig a little deeper. Feeling "so high school" is not something a 34 year old woman wants to feel.

Let’s look at the lyrics.

"I'm sinking, our fingers entwined, cheeks pink in the twinkling lights" = To me this sounds like drowning, embarrassment, and diving in with the sharks

"Tell me 'bout the first time you saw me" = You mean her first Chiefs appearance when they 'slid off in the getaway car' at the end? Nothing good starts in a getaway car, babes.

"I'll drink what you think and I'm high from smoking your jokes all damn night" = I mean...

“I'm watching American Pie with you on a Saturday night" = What do we know about this movie? We know that it is renowned for its high school immaturity and misogyny. It’s about a bunch of horny boneheaded men who treat women like sex objects instead of people. Sounds a lot like football culture to me.

"Your friends are around so be quiet. I'm trying to stifle my sighs." = I'm in the box with your friends and family. I need to hold it together so I don't offend them, but I legit hate this.

"Cause I feel so high school" = SHE HATES THIS.

"Bittersweet 16 suddenly" = I don't think she was a fan of high school, you guys.

"Are you gonna marry, kiss, or kill me? It's just a game but really, I'm betting on all 3." = A clear reference to that kiss/marry/kill interview with Travis, while also saying "we're gonna get together, put on a show for everyone, and I'm going to slowly die inside until we're done."

"Get my car door, isn't that sweet. Now pull me to the backseat" = All I hear with this is Movie Director Taylor giving instructions to her leading man so they can get a good reaction from the audience.

"You know how to ball, I know Aristotle." = You're a jock. I'm a nerd. We are not compatible.

"Touch me while your bros play grand theft auto." = The official song lyrics on Spotify put grand theft auto in lowercase the first time and capitalized the second time. The capitalized GTA could refer to Travis's friends playing the video game, sure. But also - you know who was arrested in August 2023 for grand theft auto? Bashaud Breeland, a cornerback for the Kansas City Chiefs who played with Travis in the 2020 Super Bowl.

"It's true, swear, Scout's Honor" = Look it up, I dare you.

And my absolute favorite:

"On the brink of a wrinkle in time" = This is TTPD, folks. Of course there's going to be a literary reference. A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle. The main character is a girl named Meg who is incredibly bright but struggles in school because she doesn't fit in with the other kids. After meeting a trio of badass witchy women, Meg travels to far-off worlds (a sort of deep portal time travel, you might say) where she joins the battle of light vs. darkness. What do we know about Taylor’s usage of light and darkness throughout her discography? It's giving… Reputation vs. Daylight? Shrouded in secrecy vs. out in the open? Based on everything else that Taylor has been hinting at through TTPD (not to mention Evermore and Midnights), it sounds like she is on the verge of diving into a much larger battle. And if I had to guess, I would bet that this battle will start during the Reputation re-release. Around Halloween. 🎃 When exile ends. Almost exactly 2 years after the Bejeweled music video was released. Maybe the old Taylor can't come to the phone right now cause she's dead?

I'm just speculating, but I will add that the 3rd book in the Time series is called A Swiftly Tilting Planet. There is a poem referenced through the book that goes like this:

With Ananda in this fateful hour, I place all Heaven with its power, And the sun with its brightness, And the snow with its whiteness, And the fire with all the strength it hath, And the lightning with its rapid wrath, And the winds with their swiftness along its path, And the sea with its deepness, And the rocks with their steepness, And the Earth with its starkness, All these I place with God's almighty help and grace between myself and the powers of darkness.

The word ‘Ananda’ mentioned above is the name of a character in the book, which is significant to the story because it’s a Sanskrit word that describes the eternal bliss that accompanies the ending of the rebirth cycle. If this series is what Taylor is referencing then it’s sounding more and more like she’s going to kill off Taylor TM and be done with the games, done with the reinvention. The plot summary of A Swiftly Tilting Planet says that it’s a book about "going back in time and changing might-have-beens." What decisions would she have made differently if she could do it all over again?

I don't know, friends. Take from this what you will. All I know is, this woman and all her brilliant duality is going to send me to a padded room. ✌🏻

[ssparksflyy]

Hi, I just saw that request are open so can you do a boyfriend headcanon with Jason Grace please?

ask and thou shall recieve ༉‧₊˚.

jason grace dating hcs! ✮⋆˙ pairing : jason grace x gn!reader warning(s) : none ♡ an : tysm for ur request <3! hope u enjoy thisss! also why the heck did it take me 20 mins to make that little pic collab bcs nothing was matching so i js went 'screw it' anyway, enjoy!

jason grace how i love you my sweet golden retriever boyfriend

im not even lying though

ive got a golden and she's very affectionate and he'd literally be the same

absolutely loves being around you 24/7, 365

ive seen some people say jason is like kinda tense, like he was raised to be a fighter, his guard is always up, and like he builds just a few walls to keep himself safe

but nahh best believe those walls are comin right down for you

he's only himself when he's with you !!

he literally feels so comfortable and trusts you with his life

definitely tells you EVERYTHING

not gonna lie i think jason is chismoso asf

( gossiper , nosy )

BUT LIKE secretively

like people think he doesnt care or isnt listening so they just gossip all care free when he's around cause they think he wont tell anybody

but in reality he's super invested

so like after a long day when your cuddled up in the zeus cabin he's not only telling you about his day but also updating you on the drama he's found out about

NOW I KNOW that may seem ooc, but im telling you, the walls are coming DOWN

jason literally adores it when you play with his hair

like it really just calms him down, especially after a rough day

bro just melts 🫠

i think jason is like in between with pda

yes of course he loves holding your hand and hugging you

but theres definitely a difference from when youre around people and when youre alone

dont know if that came out wrong

but he just feels more comfortable when its just you two

speaking of hand holding

he's literally a hand holding king

its literally just a habit at this point

i feel like he's a hands interlocked kinda guy

like hes just walks up to you, gives you a big ol smile ofc, and plop, slips his fingers in between yours. just like that. super casual about it.

OH MY GOD IF YOU WEAR GLASSES

he literally intentionally makes you bump glasses when youre kissing

dont know if that made sense i dont wear glasses

but he thinks its the funniest thing ever and laughs every time

lemme tell you somethin

literally even before you started dating

you haven't opened a single door while jason's around

even if youre like about to reach the door and he's a few feet away he'll literally sprint captain-america-on-your-left style to open the door for you

and then stands there looking stupid after you give him a kiss on his cheek

never fails to be left absolutely dumbfounded after you kiss him

which is probably why he isnt the biggest on pda

he knows he'll never be allowed to forget how stupid he looks

HE LOVES SLEEPOVERS

winkity wonkty

but actually he makes them so much fun

starts a pillow fight but loses

A SUCKER for karaoke

nah cause why do i think he'd be like "omg lets play spin the bottle" and youre just like "jason.. it's only me and you" and hes all like "your point??"

always ends his night with cuddles

youre literally his personal teddy bear sorry not sorry

not gonna lie i don't think jason's a jewelry fella

but get this

matching converse

they dont even have to be converse they can literally be any shoes

i just like converse

you guys got them custom made and everything ouuuu

even though he doesn't seem like he'd be too big on jewelry i feel like he has a silver necklace with your initials on it

i want to wear his initial on his chain round my neck not because he owns me but cause he really knows me

he's always wearing it, whether its like under his shirt (CLOSER TO HIS HEARTTTT) or over it and shining proudly

definitely has a playlist just titled '(name)' with a heart and its just a bunch of love songs that remind him of you ♡

he's literally so in love and makes sure you know that multiple times a day

where can i get me a jason grace :(