#bro seriously ill order a sweater with this

[loreensdarling]

Bo-Katan is a mean lesbian (real) (ill get this on a sweater you'll see)

[electronicdelusionstarlight]

A brief recounting of the events of Elder Scrolls Legends, and of the Forgotten Heroes that saved the Empire when no one else could.

The Argonian, The Myth, The Legend...

SWIMS-AT-NIGHT!

SMUGGLER, WAR HERO... AND THE MOST LOYAL OF FRIENDS.

Self-Proclaimed "Greatest Smuggler in Tamriel," Swims-At-Night was just a simple smuggler during the Great War, stealing his cargoes from the Thalmor controlled Cyrodill, traversing the treacherous seas to later sell it off to either the resistance in Hammerfell or the Thalmor themselves, to them at 5 times the original value and at half the quality, not really out of any patriotic duty as much as for the cold and shiny siren call of gold. A daring, dangerous life, that made him make contacts with all sorts of people, that however ill fitted his true calling.

For you see, for while he was indeed without equal in his smuggling and his ability with poisoned blades was without match... Swims-At-Night was a lore nerd at heart. Especially if he could turn a tidy profit from said lore nerding.

But let's keep things in order.

Everything in Swims-At-Night's life changed one fateful night, during that same Great War he was profiting from... When he met two figures.

One, was Tyr.

This Beefcake of a Nord was one of the few remaining blades, captured by the second in command of the Thalmor Warlord and Daedric Follower Lord Narafiin, and left to Rot and fight for his life in one of his dungeons/daedric lair/underground arenas, only to one day escape with the help of another... mysterious figure.

THE FORGOTTEN HERO! WAR CRIMINAL! BACKSTABBER! MASTER OF DISGUISE! GENERALLY GREEDY ASSHOLE! THE WORST OF FRIENDS! DID I MENTION BACKSTABBER, LIKE, SERIOUSLY, THIS FUCKER BACKSTABS A LOT.

Basically TESL Robbie Rotten. At least he hates Nazi elves tho.

Anyway, back to that one faithful night. Tyr and the Forgotten Hero, from here on TFH, had recently escaped their captivity, and were searching for a lift to reach Skyrim, so to warn the emperor, who had retreated there after the fall of the imperial city, of Narafiin’s Daedric Dealings, and also so they could scoop up a friend of Tyr along the way, so that she could shine a Light upon this mess.

So, in the middle of the night, in the middle of a Port patrolled by Thalmor Justiciars searching for both them and the Argonian’s stolen Cargo, Tyr and TFH decide to steal Swims-At-Night’s boat...

RIGHT. FROM. UNDER. HIS. GILLS.

Needless to say, it was friendship at first sight.

After discovering the 2 vagrants trying to steal his shit and a quick sword fight with the Forgotten Hero, the Trio is found by one of the aforementioned Thalmor Patrols, and therefore, seeing how they too were being hunted down by the Nazi Elves, he goes “what the hell, the enemy of my nazi enemy is my new best friend, let’s go guys, this trip is on me!”, scoops them up on his ship, and departs from the port toward northern shores.

They later shipwreck. Because dude might be the “Greatest Smuggler in Tamriel,” but I challenge you to steer a ship during one perfect storm with one bloodthirsty Breton pirate ship trying their best to board them and sink his ship at the same time. Not even (spoilers) Sails-Trough-Storms herself could do it, I say.

Anyway, they shipwreck, have some zany adventures in High Rock with some mudcrabs and some spriggans, find a wolf cub TFH might or might have not abandoned to his fate rather than take in and nurture as his new pet LIKE THE ASSHOLE HE IS, and finally, in the middle of a ancient ruin, surrounded by angry goblins who had just come in and killed the cultists that were trying to kill her...

She appears, in all her majestic might...

LAANETH! MISTRESS OF MAGIC! SCHOLAR AND RESEARCHER AMONG THE MOST PRESTIGIOUS COLLEGES AND MAGES GUILDS IN ALL OF TAMRIEL, AND EXPERT IN DAEDRIC ARTIFACTS AND LORE!

Anyway, they save Laaneth from a Goblin assault straight out of Goblin Slayer, and she informs them that her latest research was around a semi obscure prophecy called The Culling (II), a cautionary tale about how people shouldn’t standardize and destroy their Battle Royal Games for greed and get rich schemes, and about how, during a particular cosmological event, the veil between worlds will be weakened, and will be easily breached by anyone committing a sacrifice big enough (Like, for example, the entirety of the Imperial City Population) to reawaken the now forgotten Oblivion Gates, so that the maws of Oblivion will be able to be opened one last time, to unleash hell upon Nirn, so to hasten the deterioration of reality and the breaking of the world, thus destroying creation and possibly but most definitely not allowing the Thalmor to ascend to godhood in the ensuing chaos.

You know, standard Nazi Elves plans.

This is even more concerning of Lord Naarafiin simply having Dremoras and other Daedras in his armies, especially after it is revealed that some major entity, perhaps even a Prince, must be edging their bets on this thing happening, so they decide to quickly reach the Emperor’s Camp all together to give him the grave news, and see what to do next.

(If i may take a moment, I would like to point out how Swims-At-Night, his ship destroyed and his cargo now in the seas, without a single prospect of coin in sight, is still there, ready to fight and die for his newfound companions and freedom, because he might be a scoundrel and a Smuggler, but he is a Honest Smuggler goddammit, mass genocide and daedric outbreaks are a big no no for him.

He also probably already knitted some new best friends sweaters already for him and his bros and is already probably preparing one for his new nerd elven friend, and probably didn’t want them to go to waste, so there’s that).

Anyway, our heroes got to Skyrim. Some more shenanigans ensue, a bar fight, some imperial deserters, a High Elf Merchant that was trapped by giant spider and had NOTHING TO DO WITH THE THALMOR TFH might have just been plain old racist too and left for dead rather than help, the ghost of another merchant asking for revenge against some other, human bandits that killed him and his family for their gold, and all that...

Anyway, they reach the Emperor’s Camp, where we meet the last members of this ragtag bunch of misfits...

GENERAL CASSIA! SECOND IN COMMAND DURING THE GREAT WAR UNDER EMPEROR TITUS MEDE II, AND MOSTLY THE ONE WHO HAD TO DO THE DIRTY WORK FOR HIM IN THE FORM OF DISCIPLINING DESERTERS AND ALL THAT NASTY SHIT.

Anyway, a plan is formed. Our Heroes must return to the Imperial City, disguised as Gladiators, and will use a secret passage near the Arena, the SAME passage the Hero of Kvatch used all those many years before to escape the imperial prison, courtesy of Swims-At-Night, the History Nerd him, to reach into White Gold Tower, and steal the greatest treasure of all.

THE ORB OF VAERMINA!

For you see, Lord Naarafiin indeed had the help of Daedric Princes, ready to spring up at the occasion of the walls of reality getting thinner, and Vaermina was among them. The Warlord was using the Orb to spy on the Imperial Troops movements and plans, easily outwitting them and laying waste along the country, committing one atrocity after the next, reading the field play for the final sacrifice, and our heroes needed to get the sphere away from him, so to better prepare a effective attack plan against the city before it was too late.

So, our heroes reach the Imperial Capital, passing as gladiators, and go into the secret passage, now swarming with perilous undead after many years from the 3rd era...

And with a mysterious altar, appeared out of nowhere, whose burning light, as bright as dawn breaking upon the fields, shone against the undead hordes, aiding our heroes in their time of need as it scorched them to a crisp.

For it seemed, not all Princes were in favor of Naraafiin’s plan of destroying the world.

Or maybe Meridia just wanted to scorch some Mummies, who knows with her.

Anyway, our heroes reach the highest floor of the Tower, where the Orb is left unprotected...

And where they are promptly ambushed by Naarafiin second in comand!

REIVE! THE BLADE MASTER! THE PAIN-SINGER! THE LORD OF THE ARENA!

He was him who had captured Tyr and TFH back at the start, and with a swift move, he has now taken Tyr Hostage, the gleaming point of his blade ready to slash the man’s manly and muscled chest at a wrong move.

BUT THAT’S NO ORDINARY BLADE I SAY!

(Yeah, only found this image for the card art, sorry)

THAT’S GOLDBRAND! THE SWORD OF BOETHIA, DAEDRIC PRINCE OF PLOTS! FATHER OF MYSTERIES! MOTHER OF SHADOWS! AND A BUNCH OF OTHER VARIOUS TITLES WITH OTHER VARIOUS GENDERS! AND THE REAL DAEDRIC PRINCE BEHIND THIS MESS!

For what better plot, than to plot to destroy the world, after all?

TFH has however been also fast, and has already nicked the Orb for himself, the kleptomaniac little shit. He is now presented with a choice. Keep the Orb, and watch his friend and companion die... or Give Reive the Orb, and get his friend back... “unscathed.”

And TFH, the absolute bastard and backstabber... chooses to keep the Orb.

(I mean, yes, technically, you can decide to spare Tyr... Except dude still dies during the ensuring fight as he shows his massive balls of nordic steel and SMASHES A DAEDRIC ARTIFACT TO PIECES RIGHT IN FRONT OF A ANGRY HIGHER DREMORA, and it is canon that TFH used the orb at least 10 times in his life if we go by Achievements, which he couldn't really do if he let Tyr smash it, soooo...)

Anyway, Tyr dies, Reive is Angry (And so are Laaneth and partially Cassia, like, dude was Laaneth’s friend more than he was anyone else, they had HISTORY, she is understandably angry with TFH, and he was working in close quarters with Cassia due to their ranks in the imperial army and shit...), and a battle ensues. TFH manages to overpower Reive and kill him, thus gaining the favor of Goldbrand and perhaps Boethia’s Themselves given their great betrayal and show of strength, since that’s how Boethia Rolls...

Anyway, They daringly escape the Imperial City, everyone a bit more somber after the whole ordeal, even despite the victory, and reach the Emperor’s camp nearby, reading for the next day siege, right in time for the Culling... BUT OH NOES! A Thalmor assassination deep cover team (which is composed entirely by Bosmer for some reasons... what, are Kahjiits not stealthy enough for your deep cover assassinations?) has attacked the Emperor in the night!

The assassins have been repelled, and Titus Mede II is safe, but the Emperor is now no longer fit to ride the next day. This will surely be a deep blow to the morale of the army, even now that has been bolstered by new and fresh recruits from Skyrim, and Cassia isn’t sure anymore they are going to pull it through...

And it’s here, that our “hero” truly unleashes his inner Robbie Rotten, as a dastardly plan is formed, I’m 99% sure after Swims-At-Night’s Counsel.

The emperor will remain in his tent, in the middle of the camp, unseen and unheard as he rests, as TFH wears his armor, and rides into battle on the front lines with his army, disguised as the emperor, keeping the Morale High as he valiantly fights of the Nazi Elven Scum, his Golden Blade in one hand, his mystical sphere of dreams in the other, as he conquers more and more ground, his friends leading 3 other different fronts in a 4 way attack on the imperial city, crashing trough to stop the massacre from happening...

And yet.

It’s too late.

Naaraafiin has already killed the entire population of the Imperial City, and the Gates of Oblivion are opened. He meets what he thinks is the emperor, his personal guard at his side, as all manners of Atronachs and Dremora are unleashed upon the city, and soon the world, as the Oblivion Gates open once more and the walls of reality are weakened.

TFH has to think fast, and so, attacks the Warlord, who easily counters TFH with his magic, now overpowered by the think layers between realms and his own, general overpowered Final Boss Magic, blasting shit left and right at a frankly insanely low magicka cost...

And yet, perhaps, this overpowered magic will be Naaraafiin’s Downfall, for the Orb of Vaermina cannot just enter the dreams of your enemies to spy on their plans, but can steal mirages of powers and creatures from your opponent mind, and use them against them.

And so, witnessing his prowess with the sword, and finally recognizing Goldbrand as Goldbrand, and the “Emperor” as the one who had killed Reive, as he steals one of his massive blast right from under Naarafiin’s mind, and uses it against its own master...

Naaraafiin falls. Pushed by his own arcane magick, perhaps still alive, perhaps not, inside one of the holes in reality his culling had created, the link between him and the fracture of reality severing, as the Dremoras and Daedras vanish into Oblivion, and the gates close.

The battle is won. The Imperial City is taken back, if destroyed and with little to no population left.

And the Thalmor are retreating.

TFH and his friend go back to the emperor, who congratulates with them about the victory, for the man really knows when the delegate, and gifts TFH his armor, as the 4 companions depart, each for their own road, perhaps to never meet again...

And so the story ends, with a empire saved from the brink of destruction, yet irreparably damaged, a friendship betrayed, and terrible memories people will never forget.

But when the story ends...

Another begins.

For to paraphrase Marvel:

SWIMS-AT-NIGHT WILL RETURN...

In Elder Scrolls Legends III: Return to Clockwork City!

(Tho there’s the Fall of the Dark Brotherhood first, probably going to do that first, gotta show you just how much of a Asshole TFH can be).

[lightsandlostbells]

SkamFr Episode 6 reaction

For some reason the read-more keeps getting removed from my long-ass posts even though I make an effort to put it in, I apologize for that.

This episode contained some really great things (Alex 💖💖!) and also made me able to articulate something about the remake that is part of why, despite having things I’ve enjoyed, I don’t feel it is that emotionally resonant. It lacks fragility. 

Clip 1: Lucas gets the dirt from Emma

You know I don't have a problem with Yann being a skateboarder or whatever, that's where they're going with his character, but it low-key exasperates me because (as we just heard this week) Jonas was into skateboarding because Marlon Langeland was. Similar example, Sana played basketball because Iman Meskini plays basketball in real life. I believe Eva’s Black Swan costume was a nod to Lisa Teige being a dancer. Is Yann’s actor into skateboarding IRL? I don't know. Maybe he is. But by sticking to the original characters so slavishly, they're missing on opportunities to personalize them and play to the actors’ strengths. Like these are really simple things they could do to differentiate the characters to make it more of a personalized production. 

I mean it’s totally fine and even a little charming if Yann is kind of a crappy skateboarder, lmao (I am not an expert). 

I forgot how much Isak leads into this conversation with Eva, trying to get the details. But that actually makes more sense to me because in this version, Lucas just sits down, asks if everything is okay, and then Emma confesses right away. If this has been weighing on her (which it has), she could have told one of her girls, who would have been a “safer” choice to tell? Maybe not Daphne, but Manon wouldn’t have cared and wouldn’t have any reason to tell Yann - ignoring Lucas’ real motivation at this point, he is also Yann’s BFF and might feel a sense of loyalty to him. Any way you look at it, not a great person to confess to. Isak was at least leading Eva a bit and encouraging her to open up, so it makes sense that she would cave and share with him in that moment.

I never noticed before but at the beginning of the original clip you can see Isak and Eva walking together, cute.

No offense to these actors but Lisa and Tarjei are the ones from the original I miss most. For all of the social media for Lucas and Emma that makes them seem like good friends, within the clips themselves I don't really feel like they're close.

Clip 2 - girls at lunch

On the one hand, I get why they picked episodes 7 and 8 to merge, gossip travels fast and I could see these events unfolding rapidly. On the other hand, there’s a lot of really weighty material in these episodes so it’s unfortunate.

So the big thing here is obviously that Alex hooked up with a girl! I saw the post about the actress confirming her as bi, so that’s terrific. What would be great is if this was integrated into future seasons - what if Kasper was a girl??? A deeply weird girl. I would be all kinds of into it. Or just keeping up the trend of her casually talking about girls, having her chime in to correct Vilde/Daphne’s ill-advised comments about lesbians, etc. 

This is also pretty big because she’s apparently out, at least to her friends? There’s not going to be a coming out season for her unless it’s for her family or something. So should they decide to do an Alex season or involve her sexuality in a future storyline, it would be from the perspective of someone who is already open and seemingly comfortable in her sexuality. I seriously hope they do some exciting stories with this piece of information.

Poor Daphne clinging to her delusions. Her enthusiasm about double dating with Emma, Alex, and Charles is so sad.

Were the jerseys in the previous episode at all? Manon being like “I can’t stand seeing you in this jersey” when it’s the first time Daphne’s worn it (though I agree, once is enough). I checked and Daphne wasn’t wearing one, she had on some cute sweaters. Did Charles have to like ... order one in her size ... and the shipping took a week ... because that was a big thing to overlook, costuming wise.

I was going to say that they could have shot the rest of the scene in the cafeteria, with Manon pointing out girls in there wearing the jerseys, but we got Manon taking Daphne by the hand so that was nice. And I guess it might be awkward for Daphne to realize this at the lunch table. 

OK, Emma launching herself at Yann for a makeout session during this heartfelt moment where Manon is trying to make Daphne feel better about a boy not liking her is rather insensitive. Read the room, Emma. (I know she’s trying to alleviate her guilt. It’s still pretty WTF.) 

I know that a lot of criticism has been directed at the remake sticking to closely to the original, and I’ve certainly done my share of this, but I’m really disappointed they choose to cut Vilde’s line about feeling like there was something wrong with her. It was so raw and heartbreaking and real and it’s too bad that of all the things they’ve been keeping the same, they got rid of that part. For example, the Alex and Lucas “flirting” could have been cut to make room for that line; that moment felt forced and stilted anyway, and it’s the exact thing they should be cutting if they’re having to compress the story for time.

Clip 3 - confronting Charles

I thought the whole bit about Vilde not having dignity was one of the less excusable Sana moments from S1 since it’s not directed at something Vilde did wrong or said to help her, but Alex snorting after Imane says it is probably an added sting for Daphne.

Charles is the fucking worst. I feel like he’s even worse than William at this point, tbh. He just seems smarmier and sleazier. I’m not saying the actor’s bad or anything, I just find this dude to have an extra layer of creep. William seemed kind of checked out of the Vilde confrontation, what is this interrupting my day, Charles seems more deliberately trying to twist the knife.

Uhhhh I guess it’s nice that Charles and Alex have more of a friendship and Alex can tease him about getting verbally shredded by Manon and all but he was also cool with standing there as his best bro told a girl that he fucked that she wasn’t pretty enough for him so frankly, Raptor Alex is the worst, too. 

I will go into Manon at the end but this moment was fine, it wasn’t my favorite thing she did this episode but I thought she showed more fire this week than in previous ones. 

I also missed the moment where Vilde called Sana out on throwing water in Ingrid‘s face and Sana replies that she had a good reason for that because it was a little reminder of that incident and foreshadowing to the reveal of why she did it. I get why they cut it but it might’ve been nice since I’ve seen more divided opinions on Imane and whether, in making Daphne less offensive and less willing to speak up for herself, they’ve made Imane seem unnecessarily rude.

But also, in watching the original clip, I think Vilde was inspired or bolstered by Sana’s comments not to confront William (who are you to tell me what to do, you just put me down, you’re telling me not to ruin things when you also caused a scene) and Noora‘s encouragement (Noora had previously comforted her and given her the idea to confront him). 

Clip 4 - The fight

Depending on your POV, the fourth wall breakage about a Norwegian tv show was either groan-worthy or cute. I thought it was sweet.

What kind of books do you think Daphne reads? I assume, much like Vilde, she reads exclusively The Secret, The Game and other self-help/relationship manuals.

I also liked Emma calling Manon “Booba” and giving her that little shoulder squeeze.

You know I never realized quite how much this would’ve been embarrassing for Vilde. Not just because of what William said, but because that was supposed to be her moment. Confronting William was supposed to be her proving to be a badass. Instead William cruelly put her down in public, and instead it was Noora who got to be the badass. You know, Noora, who in Vilde’s eyes is prettier, thinner, and cooler than she is, and who William instantly has an attraction to (not that Vilde got to see this). Vilde’s words didn’t land a blow to William at all, but Noora managed to leave William speechless. He didn’t put Noora down, it was Noora he was impressed with. So even when the girls are like good job, Noora, about this epic moment that Vilde didn’t see because she had to walk off in shame and hurt, Vilde’s empowering moment was snatched away from her. Ouch.

Manon was a boss in this fight. I kind of hate the term “mama bear” but that’s what came to mind here.

The fight itself went on for too long, Manon’s excellence aside. It also made me think that a physical fight inside the school would be a more serious deal than a fight outside of it, in the sense that teachers/adults are definitely going to notice. IDK how French school works but at my high school everyone involved would be hauled off to the principal’s office right away.

Clip 5 - Emma on the steps

The bit with Emma being called a whore on Facebook - I wouldn’t say that’s a NICE touch, but it adds to the aspect of social media being used for bullying. 

Yeah Ingrid is straight up intimidating. Manon is like a little mouse beside her. But lmao at Sarah immediately folding when Manon stood up.

I did like Ingrid stepping in front of Sarah. That’s her girl.

THEIR INSTAGRAM POSTS ARE SO DRAMATIC. JESUS.

Clip 6 - Manon comforting Emma

The scene was cute, especially Emma starting to sing along.

I legit do not care what anyone ships but I’m so ????? at how people could ship Manon and Charles at this point except by already being a Noorhelm fan and having the knowledge that they are a future couple. Because like ... if you were watching this not having seen the original show, Charles’ role has to been to be a jerk to a girl he slept with and spoil this lovely moment between two friends in order to deliver some rapey as fuck dialogue about how No is a Yes in waiting. WTF. I don’t want to get into the discourse but he is deeply creepy here! 

I would not be surprised if Blurred Lines is Charles’ cheer-up song of choice.

I kind of laughed about Manon watching House of Cards because isn’t House of Cards considered a prestige show, Spacey scandal aside? I watched several seasons of it; although it is like a political soap opera, I thought it was supposed to be kind of an award bait. It doesn’t seem that weird that Manon would watch it even if she’s not a TV person, lol. But maybe it is, I don’t know! I thought Suits was more of a sort of guilty pleasure procedural but I’ve never seen that show, so maybe my perception is all wrong.

Clip 7 - Daphne’s extraordinary meeting

Alex’s hair is indeed very pretty. Nice job.

Soooo this scene.

In the original, while Vilde tells the story about Ingrid and Jonas, the camera stays on a close-up of Eva’s miserable, guilty face while memories of what happened flash by in her mind. In the remake the camera focuses a lot on Daphne as she’s telling the story, with some shots of the group, and only cuts to Emma for a few short moments. The result is that this scene is much less emotionally effective. Yes, I already know the story, I know the twist, perhaps that matters. But I’m not deep in Emma’s pain. You really feel it with Eva, how her past is coming back to haunt her and how her mistakes are being exposed in front of her new friends against her will, and she probably feels like she deserves it. When I watched the original scene, I felt gutted for her. Here the emphasis is on Daphne’s judgmental face as she tells a story that she’s not personally involved in. That creates an emotional disconnect. This is the moment that should make us understand Eva’s behavior over the season even further, this is the moment that should explain the mysterious feud with Ingrid, this is a defining moment for Emma’s character and it’s not hers.

I do like that Daphne seem almost like she’s appealing to Manon by saying that people should know not to steal boyfriends, because that is the kind of thing that feminist Manon would be strictly against. Although obviously the attempt backfired.

Also lol at them working on the party “for months” it’s been one month since you even formed the squad! Though I do think it’s implied Daphne has been working on it for longer, and that she doesn’t want her pet project to be ruined.

The bit about Imane saying you stand for your friends “even when they don’t deserve it" was added from what I can tell; I think that’s a decent part though it might kind of be unnecessary, like sometimes less is more, the point is still there even without it, we get that Daphne just messed up. It’s not a huge sin or anything but there are a few occasions where I think the dialogue has been too on the nose (like Yann being all WOW SO MUCH TRUST BETWEEN US right after Emma cheated).

I do like Alex comforting Emma. I think Alex is a little more OK with confrontation then Chris was. Chris was a little flustered and didn’t know quite how to respond in the original, and we later saw that sometimes she struggled with how to be there for her friends, and Alex seems a little more chill with open displays of supporting her friends. She’s a very chill character in general.

Clip 8 - Yann and Emma in the skatepark

Time to talk about fragility.

When I think of Skam at its best, that is something which comes to mind. Not fragility of storytelling, but fragility in its emotions. Stripping away all the bullshit that you encounter in everyday life that leads you to put on a mask and say hollow words, as well as cutting out all the bullshit that you see in 90% of teen dramas and TV shows that go for noise and overblown, nonsensical emotions in order to produce drama, and just letting the characters say something real to each other. It’s not just about characters being sad, but being vulnerable. To be vulnerable means you can be easily broken. Fragile.

Not just Noora in the wake of her assault, but Noora telling Vilde about the nutritional benefits of potatoes as a way of talking about Vilde’s eating disorder, because to address the subject outright is too much. Not just Isak falling to the ground in tears, but Isak trying to talk around and delay his coming out to Jonas, turning it into a guessing game, because if Jonas rejects him or says the wrong thing, it would shatter him. Not just Sana crying alone in her room, but Sana writing a text to her friends explaining how much she feels she doesn’t fit in and asking her friends to forgive her.

And I heavily associate that concept with Eva’s season in particular. Every moment with her feels like we are with someone whose vulnerability is right there on the surface. Her old friends now hate her, her boyfriend seems to be keeping secrets from her, she’s struggling in school, her mom isn’t there and doesn’t know about her life, she just doesn’t know who she is. Think about how delicate a moment is the end of episode 2, when Eva is upset and can hear the boys laughing from another room, not caring, and she sees that Noora has accepted her friend request. A tiny, tiny gesture like that feels enormous. This really mundane thing because powerful because the show has demonstrated how Eva’s fragility, how much this friend request means to her.

The best scenes of Skam France, IMO, and the aspect has been working for me personally, is Daphne. And in a lot of ways, that is because she is fragile. We can see her hurt coming a mile away even if we hadn’t seen S1 before - because we can tell how much Charles means to her and how she is nothing to him. She is really, really fucking vulnerable when she puts herself out there for someone to love only to get rejected. She is vulnerable when she sends Charles a topless picture and when she tries to win back his attention. She is vulnerable when she tries to stand up for herself only to get put in her place. The show has done a good job with the actress and with demonstrating that raw, realistic pain.

Where I don’t feel that fragility is with Emma. Or Yann. Who knows if we’ll feel it with Lucas, with his upcoming parental woes and confession to Emma. But Emma is the focus of the season, and that’s a problem.

Some of it is in the acting, personally, and some of it is the writing. I know a lot of people like Emma and even prefer her to Eva because of her self-confidence, but I’m not a big fan and I think part of it is that her attitude and essence don’t work as well with the material. Like it feels less like a teenage girl having all her insecurities and mistakes bared. Again, it’s not just about Emma being sad. We have seen her sad. I don’t find her as fragile. 

Another example from this episode: not focusing on Emma when hearing the true story of what happened with Ingrid. Eva’s vulnerability was the focus of that scene. We could not get away from her haunted face as she had to relive her past regrets. We missed a chance to follow how much the Ingrid incident has broken Emma.

Another non-Emma example: omitting Vilde’s line about feeling something is wrong with her and knowing she shouldn’t feel that way, an incredibly raw, wounded line we didn’t hear from Daphne.

There are several other key scenes where I think some aspect of the production has undermined a potentially vulnerable moment - what sometimes seems like the overuse of music, condensed conversations with less room for silences to speak for themselves, camera work that keeps us at a distance. Also some times where it has worked, too, I’m not saying there are no emotional moments like this, and I’m not saying that it needs to follow the original in these exact ways. But it’s a repeat issue. 

This is not to say every character has to be troubled and vulnerable, by the way. But - this is a show about being young and dealing with problems. Vulnerability is vital in our ability to empathize with these characters. These are kids getting their first taste of adult problems and not knowing how to deal with them, they should be fragile. Almost all of the best coming of age films, books, and TV shows excel at depicting vulnerability. It doesn’t matter whether it’s French or Norwegian, youthful fragility is universal (and if not then why the fuck are you making a show about teenagers and their feelings).

Anyway, this scene.

This is an angry conversation.  Sure I know Yann is upset. But I don’t feel that personal fragility coming from him. I have seen it before at time - like when Emma came over while he was playing video games with the boys, she made to leave, and he asked her several times to stay. Other times we’ve missed that vulnerability from him - for instance, when Jonas asked if Eva wanted a break, he genuinely seemed kind of fearful that she would say yes. When Yann asked Emma, he was throwing it in her face, and didn’t really seem afraid until she walked away and he gave her a dramatic speech. 

Like Yann just skateboards up to her and doesn’t have much patience for what she says. He seems pissed. And hey, maybe that is how he expresses vulnerability, you could certainly make a case for it. But the acting and directing didn’t really make me feel it at all. It just feels like he’s angry (understandably). 

However, Yann is also such a jackass here, jeeeeez. Obviously I can’t know for sure because I don’t speak French, but even his tone of voice to me sounds like he’s making fun of her. And of course he has to go on about her stupid parties and her friends, when I think Jonas seemed to mostly go for the idea that she doesn’t know what she wants. It wasn’t that Eva’s friends were dumb, it was that she changed who she was and what she wanted based on who she was with. But Yann seems to be mocking her specifically for trying to throw those parties and making fun of her friends. He's really aggravating and almost seems to resent that she’s no longer fitting into the image of what he wants his girlfriend to be. I do think Jonas did say something that cut Eva to the bone, but I don’t think he was trying to make fun of her. He was angry but he did seem vulnerable himself, not as much as Eva, but it was evident.

I do think Emma is being vulnerable here, moreso than we’ve seen her in some other scenes, but overall she doesn’t really have that vibe for me. It’s probably more effective for people who are fans of her character.

The last shot of Yann smashing his skateboard into the ground is a dramatic TV moment. The last shot of Eva sitting by herself, tiny against the skate park murals, is a fragile moment.

General Comments:

This was a really big week for Manon. The scenes were a little hit and miss for me. I think Manon lacks the withering disdain to really nail scenes like telling off Charles, but is stronger when she’s in full on angry protector mode, like during the fight or standing up to Sarah and Ingrid. She did finally make a much stronger impression with all of her big moments.

The moments where Alex ogles Lucas don’t really work for me and I wish they’d be cut to make room for other things, but you know how it could work? If Alex and Lucas form some kind of friendship later on, gay dude/bi girl solidarity.

There was a lot of social media this week after the big events, like Manon telling off Charles, the fight, etc. and it was like a flurry of vagueposting and flinging shade all over the place. I kinda feel like it’s too much, lmao? But I also kinda think teenagers are overly dramatic on Instagram.

Because they combined episodes seven and eight, several scenes are missing from the original, for example Jonas and Eva in her bedroom while Eva texts P-Chris, Eva and Isak in her room after Jonas finds out, and Eva arguing with her mom. It’s possible some of these moments like the Isak or mom scenes could come in later, like I guess they could have Emma and Lucas hugging it out this week. I did miss that scene because it was an important moment for their friendship (also fragile...) and more painful when we learned what Isak did. I’m not feeling the friendship between Lucas and Emma that much on screen and that could have helped. However, I do understand why these where the scenes they cut.

Personally I think having time limits to the French episodes is a strong case for doing more comprehensive rewrites, but blah blah it’s in the contract blah blah.

I was pretty nitpicky this time around but it was not a bad episode, there was a lot going on. 

I sure hope someone did a parody of Yann spiking his skateboard to this song.

[jordanparrishound]

Confessions?

Who: (in order of appearance) @ali-maccrae @jordanparrishound @itsericareyes and @sour--wolfdh

Where: The Hale Hermit House

What: Alistair and Jordan go deliver a pie to Derek (who is suffering from some intense PTSD) and also to tell Alistair about Jordan and Derek’s past. Derek can’t take the pressure and hides in the basement. Erica is the peanut gallery.

Alistair strolled easily through the trees, like old friends he hadn't seen in a while. Despite everything that was happening, it was comforting to be among them again. A little too comforting. He started to wander off the path and away from Jordan, taking the baked pie he was carrying with him.

Jordan didn't even look up from his phone as he reached out and took a hold of Alistair's elbow, steering him back the right way. Kowalski got him hooked on some dumb farm game and he needed to harvest all his tomatoes. It distracted him from being nervous about why they were seeing Derek in the first place.

 Alistair blinked as he was righted, refocusing on the path ahead with a look of sudden determination. "Thank you, Jordan," he said sweetly as he took exaggerated steps forward, "It would have taken me forever to get to Derek's without you here. I'm surprised they let you have the time off for such a thing."

Jordan was too afraid to look up from his phone because the moment he did, he'd probably back out. "They want to avoid the overtime," he explained casually. And yet the closer they got to Derek's place, the more nervous he got anyway. He couldn't concentrate on his tomatoes so he put his phone down. "Derek will appreciate a warm apple pie instead of a room temperature one. It's not like I can keep it warm for him anyway." There was the house. It loomed. "You sure you don't want to just... leave it on the porch and go?" It was easy to get cold feet when he didn't have a hellhound inside anymore.

Alistair nearly charged forward towards the familiar home, but was halted by Jordan's words. He turned, scoffing at the idea and shook his head. "No, of course not! That would make him feel bad. He's a dear friend and deserves to have some company. If if he thinks he doesn't want it. He says he doesn't, and then he talks for hours. Come on, it'll be fine. I'm sure he'll be glad to see you too." Then, without waiting for Jordan to answer, the book keeper bounded up to the door and knocked gently, sure the wolf would hear it.

Erica pulled the door open looking like she wasn't prepared to be the one opening it at all. She didn't even have her makeup on and her hair was pulled back into a ponytail. When she saw who it was, her face was a mixture of happy and annoyed. Happy that there was pie. Annoyed she'd have to share it with probably four people now. "Derek!" she called behind her. "It's Ali and the cop! Want me to let them in?"

Alistair gave Erica a puzzled look when she opened the door. It wasn't that he didn't expect to see her there, but... "Erica? Aren't you supposed to be at the Library right now?"

Derek had spent most of the day between the basement and his bedroom. He hasn’t slept and he’d already snapped a few times at Erica then apologized. He felt on edge, raw like an exposed nerve. Hearing her voice carry through the house he sighs, so Jordan is serious about telling Alistair. That’s when he realized he had to tell Erica too, he can’t pretend he didn’t hear so he drags himself up the stairs and pulls the sleeves to his sweater down over his hands. “She stayed home with me today..”.

Erica bounced a little. "Yeah, you told me to take a few days off, remember?" She was glad she stayed. Derek was acting even more reclusive than usual and she didn't want to leave his side. After letting their guests in, Erica immediately took the pie and set it in the kitchen. "Close the door behind you. You'll let the wasps in."

Alistair blinked in surprise, rewinding his thoughts. "Oh, I suppose I did, didn't I..." he said idly as they walked into the building, his hands suddenly pie-less so instead he let them hang at his sides, "I guess that means the Library is closed today. That will upset Janet, I'm sure. Ah well. I have better plans for that space she was going to use anyway." As he said it, Alistair backed up slightly, purposefully pushing his rear against Jordan's lap without a word.

Jordan closed the door behind him, as he was the last one in, trying to trail behind Alistair. As soon as he went inside, he gave Derek a worried look, wondering if he was still under the truth spell and if so, it would probably be better if he did the talking. "You okay, Derek?" Jordan had seen that look before many times on soldiers right after he came back from the war.

Derek Gives Jordan a look and just nods, scratching his head and turning to the kitchen, he felt closed in so he needed to get out of there. He grabs himself a piece of pie, he wanted to concentrate on something that wasn’t whatever Jordan was about to say.

Erica placed a reassuring hand on Derek's side to help calm him.... but then also ate a piece of pie with her other. She wasn't going to leave because she was in a room with three beefy men. It was bound to be interesting.

Alistair watched the two carefully, his attention drawn by Jordan's concern. Derek did seem a little more stand-offish than usual. He wanted to go to him, but Erica seemed to have that part down already. "Are you ill again, Derek?" he asked curiously, following them into the, by now, familiar kitchen and peering at the wolf as one would a lying child.

Jordan still hung back, shyly brushing off Alistair's playful advances. He crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. He'd seen Derek like this before, back when they used to share a bed. "If he's still under the truth spell, maybe we shouldn't be asking questions," he said carefully.

Derek growls quietly, putting another bite in his mouth. He leans slightly into Erica’s touch, giving her a look, she can tell them he’s not that it had worn off the day before.

Erica laughed a little into her pie. She was very glad these two weren't wolves and couldn't smell all the mess going on between her and Derek. "Guys, he's fine. It's not like he's going to suddenly blurt out all the stuff he's ever wanted to do to you guys. Well. No." She pointed at the deputy. "Maybe not you. I don't know. He never talks about you. But YOU." She pointed to Alistair. "I'm surprised he didn't tell me about all the secret hanky panky between you two." And then, because she suddenly felt the room judging her she turned to Derek and smiled. "What? I don't need a truth spell to be honest. This pie is really good, by the way." And she shoved another bite into her maw.

Alistair turned roughly the same shade as a ripe tomato, sputtering immediately as he turned between Derek and Jordan, pointing rapidly to both in turn. "I never...we never! She's just...Erica! Derek and I...not once...just friends!"

Jordan turned to look away and cleared his throat a little. He believed Alistair. Always had. But that was because... "Well, actually. Funny that she mentioned that." It was his turn to blush as he tried to look everywhere but at Derek or Alistair. "Derek and I... Erm..." He couldn't say the words out loud. He was a grown man and couldn't do it.

Derek chokes on the pie in his mouth, well that was a way to get it out in the open. “He jerked me off after I got attacked one time, I was kind of high”. The words weren’t loud and he stared at his pie the whole time.

Erica raised her eyebrows with excitement, which should not have been her reaction and yet it was. "Seriously? You and cop-boy over there?" She nudged at him, partly to help him not choke on his pie. The deputy looked like he was going to melt into the floor. Erica would have felt sorry for him, but Derek's penis was irresistible so she didn't blame him. "You guys should have a threesome and get it over with."

Alistair brought a hand to his chest, turning to look at Jordan with a curious expression. He'd told him about the man in the army, but he never said anything about Derek. "Really?" he asked, face still bright red and showing no signs of cooling off, "When did - ERICA! - When did this happen? I know Derek said when he got attacked, but in this town, really, that could be any time. I hadn't realized you two had feelings for each other."

Jordan inwardly winced as each accusation became worse than the others. "The Yuki-Onna held back the hound and I was cold. I didn't know you yet, if at all, and Derek and I have been friends a long time. He used his werewolf heat to keep me warm and I thought... I was helping him out. It might have ruined our friendship because we've hardly spoken since it happened. But that's... probably my fault. I made too much of it, I think." With all the secrets Derek let out during his truth spell, Jordan realized that he was the one who was being childish about it.

Derek shakes his head, “it’s not the same kind of feelings I have for Erica”, and well maybe the spell wasn’t entirely worn off. “I like beautiful people”, he shrugs giving Erica a strange look, “why do you”, of course she’s turned on by it.

Erica gave Derek a flirtatious smile. "Aw, you big softie. But really, he gave you a bro-job? That's kind of sweet, actually. I wish I had friends who would get me off when I'm frustrated. Must be nice. And here you were acting like you were all alone." She stood up on her tippy toes to plant a kiss on his cheek. "You've got these two idiots baking you pies and whacking you off. It's a wonder you have feelings for me at all." Except this time when she said it, the words were playful and held no hint of jealousy. And yet, she still curled her hand around his ass to mark her territory.

Alistair sighed fondly as he took Jordan's hands in his own and held them to his chest. "But you guys are talking again, right? It's a sweet thing Derek did for you during the cold and frankly what you two did with each other is none of my business. Appealing, but none of my business," Alistair said sweetly, before turning to look at Erica. "Honestly, it's not like I only bake for Derek. I cook for Jordan all the time and those blondies at the Library are specifically for you."

Jordan felt touched at how understanding and patient Alistair was with the whole ordeal. Jordan really should have known better, that Alistair would take the truthfulness in stride especially after showing time and time again how kind he was. He would have cried a little if Alistair hadn't added the little word 'appealing' at the end of it. "Am I the only one here who would say no to a threesome? Or Alistair and Derek touching intimately?" He knew he was conservative, but didn't realize just how much. "Yes, I made Derek feel better after a very difficult time. Believe it or not, that kind of thing happened overseas more than most soldiers ever care to admit. But we're friends. And I'm glad it's out in the open because I've truly missed his company. But it won't be repeated. Besides.. I think maybe he has that taken care of anyway." He said, eyeing Erica.

Derek: just turns and walks down to the basement, he couldn’t breathe suddenly. Smelling all the arousal around, it was too much for his overly sensitive senses. He just takes off, shutting the door behind him and curling up against it. He could feel the bars around him and the people standing around, just staring at his body. He felt like shifting and running away.

Erica puffed her cheeks out and gave an angry stare in the deputy's direction when the door to the basement slammed. "Now look what you did!" she huffed and made her way to the basement door and stopped because she could hear his heartbeat behind it. "Derek, I'm opening the door okay? And then shutting myself in there with you and your friends can go away." And then she stared daggers at Alistair and Jordan.

Alistair made a small noise as his shoulders deflated, knowing that look on Derek's face. He'd told him how he felt about people objectifying him. Especially after Kate. "That's, not what I meant," he said quietly, figuring the best course of action was exactly what Erica suggested, "I'll contact you later, Derek. I'm sorry."

Jordan felt it was for the best that they leave at this point anyway. No doubt he and Alistair had much to talk about, and Derek needed Erica in a way Jordan knew all too well, because he needed Alistair the same way. "I'm sorry too, Derek." He didn't know what else to say to console him so he turned back to Alistair and said in a much quieter tone. "We should go. Too many people around might make things worse."

Derek had so much to say but his words were stuck in his head. He didn’t want anyone to leave. Because his head was in a fog. Instead he sinks his claws into his arm, growling loud enough it probably worried Erica. But It’s enough to get his head under control. So he slowly opens the door, “you didn’t do anything wrong”.

Erica was all set to roundhouse kick her boss and his boyfriend when suddenly Derek made a noise and Erica's hackles rose. Despite her better judgement, she threw her arms around Derek's middle as soon as he emerged, her wolf temporarily taking over as she buried her face in his chest. She didn't say anything. She just clung there. Like a tumor.

Derek smiles at her even as his arm bleeds, leaning down to kiss the top of her head. “I’m okay...just needed a minute”.

Erica pulled away just enough to shoot another look at Jordan and Alistair, but the scent of blood caused her mind to switch gears and she noticed his arm. "Did they make you do that?" she snuffed, her protective instinct kicking in. "You've been upset all day, but I get the feeling it's not about these guys at all."

Alistair peered at Derek for a moment, as though he could see him clearly. He wondered if he was one of the few who could, or if everyone simply kept quiet about it. Instinct urged him to go lay a consoling hand on the wolf, but Erica's demeanor made him think twice. In the end, all he could do was fix Derek with a small smile and hoped whatever aura it was he had helped ease some of his turmoil. "I mean it, Derek. I'll be in touch," he said softly, "Perhaps I'll bring you something with peaches instead. Broaden your palate a bit. You're welcome to reach out at any time." 

[animationnut]

To Gravity Falls, From Piedmont: Chapter 28

Summary: It’s a long way until next summer. Until then, Dipper and Mabel share their daily antics and life problems with their lifelong friends and attentive great-uncles through an endless string of e-mails. Distance makes the heart grow fonder after all, and there’s no place Dipper and Mabel love more than Gravity Falls.  Note: In which Mabel and Dipper switch places. If the idea of Dipper dressing as a girl and Mabel dressing as a guy makes you uncomfortable, here's your warning.

                                                     Chapter List

To: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn); Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan)

From: Wendy Corduroy (Lumberchick)

Subject: Hollywood stars in your neighbourhood

Yo dudes.

I just read that the crew of The Sarcophagus' Curse is coming to do a promotional stunt in Piedmont for their latest film. Since it's Dipper's favourite film of like ever, I'm not bothering to ask if you're going to meet them. Snag me an autograph from Leila Petti, will you? She's a kick-butt actress.

See all messages in this thread (Expand)

Mabel Pines: Dipper would if he could. But he can't. He's been moping about it for the last two days.

Dipper Pines: It's typical. The cast of my favourite film franchise is coming on the one day I'm already busy. Life really is unfair.

Wendy Corduroy: That sucks. You can't get out of whatever you're doing?

Dipper Pines: My robotics club is getting ready for an upcoming bot-fighting tournament. We have a meeting after school and I need a decent excuse in order to miss it. Like a severe illness. Otherwise I'll get kicked out.

Wendy Corduroy: Bot-fighting sounds super rad, but it's not an once-in-a-lifetime experience.

Mabel Pines: He wants to finish the year with the club so he'll get into the high school robotics club. Apparently it's competitive.

Dipper Pines: It is. And as much as I want to, I can't skip out. We worked really hard on our robot and it wouldn't be fair if I just left them to it.

Wendy Corduroy: Well, what about Mabel? She can get the autographs for you…and me.

Mabel Pines: I could totally do it.

Dipper Pines: I know, but it's just not the same as meeting them myself. This would be a great time to clone myself.

Mabel Pines: Your lesson was clearly not learned.

Wendy Corduroy: What?

Dipper Pines: She's just making a joke. Which is not funny.

Wendy Corduroy: You know what, you already have a clone—sort of.

Mabel Pines: He does?

Wendy Corduroy: Yeah, you.

Dipper Pines: Pretty sure my clubmates would notice the difference between me and Mabel.

Wendy Corduroy: Not if you switch places and disguise as each other.

Mabel Pines: We haven't done that since we were super little.

Dipper Pines: I don't think that's going to fly. She's, you know, obviously a girl and I'm obviously not.

Wendy Corduroy: Come on, it's the perfect solution. You guys are pretty similar in facial structure and body shape and you could probably imitate each other's voice. No one will know.

Mabel Pines: It sounds like fun!

Dipper Pines: Seriously?

Mabel Pines: Why not? Besides, I've got the best Dipper impression.

Wendy Corduroy: Mabel can go to your club and you can go meet the stars of The Sarcophagus' Curse.

Dipper Pines: As Mabel. I'll meet A-List Hollywood actors dressed as a girl. Why can't I go as myself and have Mabel dress as me?

Wendy Corduroy: There's going to be a lot of cameras snapping pictures and a lot of people. It might get back to your club members and then they'll realize they were tricked.

Dipper Pines: Which still would not be as awkward as getting busted for dressing as my sister.

Wendy Corduroy: They won't knoooow.

Mabel Pines: You can't reschedule your meeting and you can't miss it. This is a solution!

Dipper Pines: You are way too excited about this.

Wendy Corduroy: What do you say, Dipper?

Dipper Pines: …fine. Why not? I've done far more embarrassing things.

Mabel Pines: Plus you really really want to meet Danny Devro.

Dipper Pines: It's a great motivator, actually. Even with the knowledge that I won't pull this off.

Wendy Pines: Dudes, no one is going to notice. Trust me.

Dipper Pines: We'll see.

Mabel Pines: Operation Switcharoo is a go!

"Found it!"

Dipper paused his wrestling with a pair of light blue leggings to call, "Hang on a second!"

He managed to yank on the article of clothing and adjusted the short skirt, which was a darker shade of blue. Dipper then shrugged on a sweater that had silver and blue gem swirls on the front. Outfit complete, he swung open the door where his sister was patiently waiting on the other side.

"This is a bad idea."

"Won't know until we try it," said Mabel cheerfully. She was already wearing Dipper's orange T-shirt, dark blue vest and shorts. In her hands was a wig, long brown hair that was a shade darker than her natural hair colour.

Dipper gingerly took it, rolling the artificial strands of hair through his fingers. "Why do you even have this?"

"For Halloween, a long time ago. When the hairdresser cut my hair way too short and I needed it longer for a costume. It came in handy then so I decided to keep it. Good thing, huh?"

"Yeah," said Dipper flatly, adjusting the wig over his own short locks. Mabel handed him a brush and he smoothed out the tangles. When he was finished, Mabel was staring at him with an awed stare. "What?"

"Pretty sure this is going to work out fine."

Brow furrowing in confusion, Dipper approached the mirror and was stricken by his reflection. With the addition of the wig, he looked strikingly like Mabel. "I don't know how to feel about this."

"Just a few more finishing touches," declared Mabel.

She took some blush to use to redden Dipper's cheeks, foundation to take the redness away from his nose and used mascara to elongate his adjusted the wig so that hair fell over his forehead, covering his birthmark. "Wow," was all Dipper could find to say.

"Tell me about it."

Mabel removed a clip from the pocket of her shorts and piled her long hair on top of her head. She took Dipper's ushanka and pulled it on, covering the excess of hair from sight. As she used the blush to redden the tip of her nose, Dipper squinted at her eyelashes, suddenly releasing they were much shorter than before.

"Wait, what did you do to your eyelashes?"

"Trimmed them with cuticle scissors."

Dipper gaped at her. "That's dangerous!"

"It's not the first time I've done it. But this is the first time I've got them this short. You hardly have eyelashes compared to me."

"I think you're taking this way too seriously."

"I've got a part to play, bro!"

"Those theater lessons you took when you were seven really left an impression."

Mabel finished her makeup application process and they stood side-by-side in front of the mirror. There were some things they couldn't mask, such as Mabel's cheeks being rounder than Dipper's, miniscule difference in height and Mabel's braces.

"That's a problem," remarked Dipper, gesturing to the silver gear adorning Mabel's teeth.

Mabel thought for a moment and said, "I'll be right back." She disappeared and returned a minute later carrying a white bacteria mask. She strapped it over her mouth and swung out her hands in victory. "Voila!"

"I'm changing my mind. This is most definitely not a good idea."

"You're sick and don't want to spread it around! Problem solved."

Dipper scratched the back of his neck, feeling the wool material of the sweater rub against his skin. "What about me? I can't magically acquire braces."

"You're going to be in the city, where no one knows Mabel Pines wears braces," she answered, unconcerned. "Even if you run into some kids from school, it's not like they talk to us anyway."

Knowing she had a point, Dipper looked once more at their reflection in the mirror. "I know we're twins, but this is still freaky."

"Freakier than the time we switched bodies on the magic rug?"

Dipper blinked. "Right. That was a thing that happened. Never mind then."

…

Mabel approached the house of Dipper's robotics club friend, Justin. The garage was open and she stepped inside. "Hey, guys."

The three males standing around a worn wooden table glanced up. "Uh…hey, Dipper," spoke Justin, eyeing Mabel oddly. "What's with the mask?"

"I've got a nasty cold. I'd hate to spread it around."

"Thanks for the consideration, but a couple of germs won't stop us." Len kept his eyes on the small, square, tank-like robot as he tightened the bolts. "We're winning the tournament this year."

The look of utter seriousness and determination on their faces caused Mabel some bewilderment. She knew that the bot-fighting tournament was important, but she didn't realize it was such a big deal. Dipper was excited about these events, sure, but not as intense.

"Right. So what can I do?"

"Did you get the wiring finished from last time?"

"Er…no, I'll get right on that."

Mabel removed a blue notebook from Dipper's bag, which he had told her contained instructions for the mechanisms of the robot they were constructing. He had known that he would be tasked with finishing the wiring, and wrote everything down that Mabel needed to do in the notebook.

She turned to the correct page, where there was a coloured diagram with notes written neatly in the page beside it. Mabel crouched next to the open panel and studied the red, green and blue wires coiled together inside.

Okay…you can do this. It's like a puzzle. And Dipper's already told you where the pieces go.

She pulled on a pair of rubber working gloves and a pair of pliers. She started to twist certain wires together and splicing others apart. She was relieved that Dipper had laid everything out for her to follow, because while she was a whiz with glue, wool and scissors, she knew nothing of robot building.

"Ouch!"

She let out a yelp when she accidentally pinched herself with the pliers. She hastily looked around to see if anyone had caught her high-pitched sound, but the three males were intent on finishing their own tasks.

Right. Dipper's scream isn't exactly the manliest to begin with.

It was twenty minutes later when Mabel finished her work and she screwed the panel back into place. "Finished," she declared.

"Same," spoke Justin.

"I think we're as ready as we can be," said Len, wiping his hands on his jeans.

"Anyone have any last-minute suggestions for what we can add?" asked Diego, pushing his dark hair out of his eyes.

"Glitter."

It was an automatic response, leaving her lips before Mabel could think about it. She stilled as the three turned to stare at her with odd expressions. "What?" asked Justin.

Mabel shrugged nonchalantly. "It looks sort of bland, is what I mean. Isn't there something we could use to liven it up?"

Diego glanced at Justin. "Dipper's got a point. It does look sort of boring. At least the other robots have lights on them."

Justin thought for a minute. "We've got some glow-in-the-dark paint. We could use that."

He went over to a wooden shelf and removed a metal can. Together they decorated the robot, painting the base with green flames and the robotics club logo on the front. Diego added skull and crossbones on the back. Justin turned off the lights and an eerie green glow surrounded their metal contraption.

"That looks awesome," said Diego with a grin. "Good idea, Dipper." He raised his knuckles for a fist-bump and Mabel returned it. Diego blinked and added, "Wow, your hands are soft."

"All right guys, I think we're all set. The robot's finished, charged and we have fresh batteries in the controller." Justin went over to a bag near the door and removed four grey work jumpsuits, where their school logo was embroidered over the pocket. "We'll have to leave soon if we want to get there in time to register."

Mabel blinked. "What?"

"Our competition is tonight, remember?" When Len got a blank stare in return, he turned to look accusingly at Justin. "Didn't you tell Dipper that the tournament got rescheduled to tonight?"

"I thought I did." Justin checked his text history. "Oh. Sending failed. Sorry, man."

"It's okay."

Justin handed her a jumpsuit and Mabel felt her face flare up when he started removing his shirt to change. She hastily retreated to a corner of the garage and yanked the jumpsuit over her clothes, knowing she would probably be hot with the extra layers.

She then took out Dipper's phone (because her pink sparkly case would be a dead giveaway) and started texting.

'So your robotics tournament is actually tonight. Surprise!'

…

Dipper stood in the long, twisting line of people stretching down the blocks. He had already been waiting for about two hours and now he could see the Hollywood stars if he inched out to peer further ahead. They were stationed at a table in front of a large poster advertising their latest movie, along with cardboard cut-outs and other promotional materials.

He let out a quiet sigh, crossing his arms over his chest. He could feel sweat gathering beneath the wig and under his armpits, and he wondered for the umpteenth time how Mabel was able to endure such weather in heavy clothing.

No one had given him a second look, not through his trip through the city and not as he waited in line. He was glad Mabel had used waterproof makeup on him, or else the sheen of sweat on his face would have been his undoing. He wasn't quite sure how he was going to disguise his voice, or if it would be better if he didn't talk at all.

A buzzing sounded within the white purse slung over his shoulder, which Mabel had given him to store his stuff. He normally used his backpack to carry his items around, or packed it inside of his vest, but he had to make do with one of Mabel's purses (which he had to admit was pretty handy—it had a lot more pockets to utilize).

Dipper dug out the cellphone and was momentarily confused to see his name flash across the screen until he remembered that he and Mabel had switched phones. He read the text, his stomach immediately sinking with panic.

'What?! It's not supposed to be for another couple of weeks!'

'I guess the text Justin sent you didn't go through. Don't worry, bro. I'm sure it'll go fine. I can film it if you want to see your bot throw-down.'

'That's not the problem. The problem is that I'm controlling the robot. Which means YOU'RE controlling the robot.'

'Oh snap.'

'Yeah.'

'Is that in your little book?'

'I thought tonight was just a regular meeting, so no, it's not in my book. If I tell you the controls, do you think you could do it?'

'Is it like a video game?'

'Pretty much, yeah.'

'Lay it on me.'

Dipper typed out the instructions for the robot's controls, triple-checked to make sure he hadn't forgotten a single detail, and paused. For a moment, he hesitated, debating on whether or not he should abandon his mission and go finish out the year for his robotics club.

But he was so close to getting the autographs, and he'd come this far. He'd been to plenty of robot fights before with his club members, and if they won all their battles tonight, they would move on to the state-wide tournament.

And he trusted Mabel would annihilate the competition. He hit send.

'Got it. Don't worry bro, we'll win this.'

'I know you will. If you feel nervous, you can always ask one of the others to do it. They might get suspicious, but they'll take over.'

'Are you kidding? I've always wanted to fight with one of your bots before. It'll be fun. Plus, considering we fought a crazy triangle demon with the Shacktron, this will be nothing.'

'Fair point. Good luck!'

'Thanks!'

As the next hour or so passed, Dipper inched his way further in the line. He eventually made his way to the front, his heart pounding with excitement. Hands trembling slightly with nerves, he stepped up to the table, draped with a deep red tablecloth, where the four main stars were sitting—Danny Devro, Leila Petti, Joshua Jans and Henry Douglas.

"Hey, sweetheart," greeted Leila.

"Hi."

It was the first time Dipper was grateful for his high-pitched squeak whenever he got nervous, for it made his voice passable to a female. He extended the small glossy movie poster he had brought with him for and the actors started to sign it.

"What's your name?" asked Danny.

"Dipper."

Oh, shoot.

The foursome exchanged glances, eyebrows raising. "Dipper?" repeated Danny in bemusement. "I'm guessing that's a nickname."

"Uh…yeah."

Intrigued, Henry leaned forwards. "Don't leave us hanging, girl. How did you end up with a nickname like that?"

Mindful of the wig on his head, Dipper carefully nudged the brown bangs aside, revealing a portion of his birthmark that the strands hid from view. "Because of this. It's in the shape of the Big Dipper."

"That's amazing," reacted Joshua.

Dipper brightened, letting the hair fall back into place. "Thanks!"

"All right, Dipper, important question." Danny passed the poster on to Leila and then gestured between himself and Joshua. "Who's your favourite?"

"You," answered Dipper automatically.

Danny grinned. "Danny Nation represent."

"Give me a break," muttered Joshua.

Dipper's eyes widened. "I mean, you're great too—"

"Don't feel bad for telling the truth, you made the right choice," interjected Danny. "I'm way hotter than he is."

Joshua glared. "You're only slightly in the lead!"

At Dipper's confused expression, Leila giggled. "It's their dumb contest. They take tallies from the female fans to see who is more popular. It's super shallow, but then again so are they."

"We can hear you," said Danny in annoyance.

"That's not what I—" Dipper tried to interject, but Joshua interrupted.

"Seriously, it's cool. I don't mind."

Dipper was about to insist that he had meant something completely different when he said Danny was his favourite, but was distracted by Leila signing his poster. He removed another one from his bag, a poster of Leila's movie character. "Would you mind signing one for my friend Wendy?"

"Sure thing."

Soon the posters were back in his hands and Dipper said sincerely, "Thanks. You're all amazing. These movies are my favourites."

"We're only amazing because of fans like you," returned Henry.

"Yo, Danny, give a member of your Nation a kiss."

"Gladly."

Dipper did not get time to protest, for Danny leaned over the table and kissed him on the cheek. Stuttering out a goodbye, Dipper hastily retreated, face red and throat beginning to ache from the strain of using a high voice.

Wait until Mabel hears this one.

…

The location of the tournament was the local community center, one of the large meeting rooms transformed into sections for the robot matches. Mabel and the guys had made it to the final match, where if they won, they would move on to the state-wide tournament.

By this point Mabel had gotten the hang of steering the robot. She was currently in the middle of a heated match, their small robot going against a heavily-armoured opponent. The exterior was covered in spikes and below that was a thick metal, making it difficult to land hits.

"Oh man, that thing is tearing us up," muttered Diego.

Mabel's eyes narrowed. "Not for much longer."

Okay. I need to find out how to hit that thing. It's outside material is too strong. But…I wonder what the underneath looks like.

Mabel studied the other robot, which was bigger and heavier than theirs. "Let's see how well you can turn corners."

She pretended to retreat, guiding the robot away from the enemy. It followed in pursuit and Mabel waited until it was close enough before making a sharp turn and whizzing past. The other robot tried to copy the turn, its weight making it tilt slightly. Seizing this opportunity, Mabel charged her robot forwards caught the exposed bit of the enemy robot, managing to tilt it over completely. It's underside was not nearly as protected and Mabel activated the water gun of their robot, soaking the circuits and frying the system, causing the enemy bot to shut down.

"Yes!" cheered Justin.

"Way to go Dipper!" whooped Diego.

"We're moving on to the state tournament!" exclaimed Len.

Mabel smiled broadly, pumping her fist in victory. Justin retrieved their robot and the four went to receive their medals for winning the school district championship. They shook hands with the other school team before leaving.

"We're going to get some ice-cream, are you coming?" asked Diego.

Mabel shook her head. "No, I have to get home. But thanks anyway!"

"No, thank you. We wouldn't have won if you weren't an expert on these controls," said Len.

"I've had a lot of practice," replied Mabel. "It's just like a video game. I'll see you guys at school!"

"Hey, take a cough drop when you get home!" called Justin as Mabel jogged away. "Your voice sounds terrible!"

…

'We won, bro!'

Sitting near the back of the bus, Dipper read Mabel's text and smiled. 'I had no doubts. Thanks.'

'No problem. It was actually really fun. I took some pictures. I'll show them to you after. Oh, and Justin clearly doesn't listen to you, because he thinks my impression of you was a symptom of your illness. I don't know what's with him, because I nailed it.'

'The bacteria mask probably threw you off.'

'Yeah, that must be it. So how did it go with you?'

'Great! I got my autographs, and the actors are actually really cool people. Danny Devro kissed my cheek, so that's a thing.'

'No way!'

'Yeah. He asked me who my favourite was, between him and Joshua. When I answered that it was him, I didn't realize it was a poll to see who has the most female fans.'

'Boys.'

'Tell me about it. Are you home?'

'Yup. I don't know how you manage to go around with the ushanka all the time, I thought my brain was cooking.'

'I'm used to my head being warm. How do you wear your sweaters year-round?'

'I don't mind my upper body being warm, so long as my legs and head are cool.'

'Your clothes are very comfortable, but this is the last time I'll switch places with you.'

'Ditto. I missed my sweater and glitter. But hey, it went pretty well!'

'Much to my amazement.'

'Operation Switcharoo is a success!'

Dipper was about to type out a response when the phone started buzzing, indicating an incoming video call from Stan. He instinctively clicked accept and Stan's face filled the small screen. Stan opened his mouth to say something, froze, and stared blankly. Dipper returned the stare, eyes wide, and said (in as high a voice as he could muster on a crowded public bus), "I'm going to have to call you back."

He hastily hung up and texted Mabel back.

'Uh. Yeah. Sort of. We're probably gonna hear from Grunkle Stan soon. Just saying.'

To: Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan); Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)

From: Grunkle Stan (StantheMan)

Subject: I probably shouldn't ask but I'm going to anyway

I send a video call request to Mabel's phone, expecting Mabel, and I see Dipper dressed as Mabel. Is there something someone needs to tell me?

See all messages in this thread (Expand)

Mabel Pines: It's a long story.

Dipper Pines: Wendy can tell it. It's mostly her fault. Wendy!

Wendy Corduroy: Did you guys pull it off?

Mabel Pines: We did!

Grunkle Stan: Pull what off?

Wendy Corduroy: Dipper wanted to go and get autographs from the cast of the latest movie in The Sarcophagus' Curse franchise. But he had a robotics club meeting he couldn't miss. I suggested that Mabel could go to the robotics club in his place while he went to meet the cast dressed as Mabel. They switched places.

Grunkle Stan: Gotcha.

Dipper Pines: That's it? No other questions? No comments on the fact I was wearing a skirt?

Grunkle Stan: It's a free country. I figured there was a story why you were dressed as your sister and now I know. The curiosity was killing me.

Wendy Corduroy: And you thought someone would catch you, Dipper.

Dipper Pines: Someone did catch me. Grunkle Stan.

Wendy Corduroy: Well he doesn't count.

Grunkle Stan: Watch yourself, missy.

Dipper Pines: I know we're twins, but I guess we look more similar than I thought. But there were some differences that we had to cover. Mabel wore a bacteria mask to cover her braces and I wore a wig. Turns out my voice can go quite high, which was a relief today but overall slightly annoying.

Grunkle Stan: Masters of disguise. Just like your old Grunkle.

Mabel Pines: Our family is amazing.

Wendy Corduroy: Did you get an autograph for me?

Dipper Pines: I did.

Wendy Corduroy: Sweet.

Dipper Pines: I'll mail it to you this week. Now I'm going to take a shower and have a The Sarcophagus' Curse marathon.

Wendy Corduroy: Was it worth it?

Dipper Pines: Yeah. It was.

Mabel Pines: I think I might see if I can join the robotics club next year. It's a blast.

Grunkle Stan: I'll talk to you runts later. Oh, and Dipper, don't hang up on me again.

Dipper Pines: Sir yes sir!

Mabel Pines: Ha! You got in trouble!