#bro my laptop was on life support as I was making these gifs

[all-the-angels-stare]

Forest Carnival Event Special Outfits

[thenarddogmeister]

Using Poor People to sell The American Dream.

Written by Lily.

I haven’t been able to write for my blog in a while because my laptop broke. I’m using an old, light-up gaming mouse right now as my mousepad is no longer working so I feel very silly but I need to talk about this.

Reality TV gained immense popularity around the 2000’s with shows like ‘Big Brother’ for example. It has only increased in mainstream popularity and now we have a surplus of shows (that claim to be a portrayal of “reality”) such as Too Hot To Handle or Married At First Sight. A sociologist called George Gerbner theorised that in the media, ideologies are presented to us as the “norm” and therefore create an idea of “common sense” amongst audiences. He supposes that people’s beliefs and ideologies are influenced by the media and I think the media is proving their interest in this being fact.

Using Squid Game: The Challenge and The Circle as case studies, it seems that the media is trying to perpetuate the reputation of ‘The American Dream’ whilst also attempting to engage audience responses to maximise profit in a rather dystopian and inhumane manner.

Believe it or not, these two case studies have a lot in common despite one being based on a Korean produced, fictional television series and one being a reality tv show about catfishing and the anonymity of social media. They are both subsidiaries of various companies which eventually lead back to the same parent company: Warner Bros. Both shows are distributed on Netflix which is ostensibly a global streaming service with the intentions of giving a diverse selection of content a viewership however, two of these popular reality tv series are under the control of a mass-media conglomerate. This supports the already academically accepted truth that an oligopoly of conglomerates are controlling the media market, resulting in a selection of products which adhere to and support ideals which are beneficial to these institutions.

One of these ideologies is the idea of The American Dream. This is obviously a useful belief for the institutions to reinforce as it implies the majority population, which are disadvantaged by the capitalistic society we live in, have a chance to make their “lucky break” and become rich too. By cultivating this hope through the media, the majority is expected to stay placid and passive under the false impression that their lucky break is just around the corner. This allows the institutions to continue to thrive and earn more profit from the majority. 

Squid Game: The Gameshow is a harrowing example of this. Harrowing due to the fact it is derived from the Squid Game television show which is a macabre critique of our capitalistic society, which profits from the poor by using their desperation to create entertainment and this concept has been used to do exactly that - profit from the poor’s desperation. A big cash prize is offered to the winner as the contestants tiresomely compete with each other to win. Now, the macabre of the fictional show is actually matched in the reality tv show as most of the contestants have unfortunate backstories regarding issues caused by capitalism like medical debt and they want to win the money to pay this off and be able to live debt free. Their desperation is clear as details of the show have been revealed such as the “Red Light Green Light” challenge actually taking many hours to film and the conditions being freezing and distressing. Their hope and desire to win the money causes, in some cases, more extreme reactions attributed to intense anxiety and stress from the pressure of having the opportunity to change your life in an uncanny and dramatic situation like this. This stress and desperation is loved by audiences as it adds more competition and drama as contestants freak-out and argue, feeling more reminiscent of a fictional drama rather than “reality tv.” As viewership rises, the companies earn more profit and this proves that the poor people of this show, cravingly trying to win a life-changing amount of money, are being used for entertainment and therefore profit for the institutions. By allowing there to be one lucky winner of this unimaginable amount of money, the idea of hope is inflicted into the audience. If a random, poor, majority individual can win $4.56 million then surely you can too? This is essentially just another retelling of The Great Gatsby in the sense that a “character” (Gatsby or a real contestant) can just work hard and get lucky and then be rich. This is what the media (which, again, is dominated by conglomerates with only their own commercial gain in interest) wants to cultivate into the minds of us, the majority, to keep us calm and susceptible to their money-grabbing products. I mean, The American Dream could have some validity but with 37.9 million Americans (as of 2022) living in poverty and the 1.1% of the richest adult group owning 45.8% of the world’s total wealth (a 4.8% increase since 2013), it seems rather unlikely our big break is coming.

[mlobsters]

supernatural s13e3 patience (w. robert berens)

recap including gutter bunny sam, huh. ok. i try to keep in mind too that even if there's a slight glancing reference to something, they'll put a whole ass clip in the recap. when it might just be a reminder that hey, vampires exist. demon blood makes people high. etc

if they bring missouri back to then hurt her, i'm gonna be pissed. i always wished she'd been a recurring character

i guess this is the grown up version of brotherly conflict, instead of lying and hiding things, we're gonna clash over whether jack is inherently evil

SAM Because we need to stay here. We need to help Jack learn how to control his powers. Jody can handle this. DEAN Yeah, maybe she can. Or maybe she ends up dead because you wanted to skip out on her to babysit the antichrist.

trying to remember if we're blaming jack for mom and cas "dying" somehow? lucifer is the responsible party there, crowley if we go back to lucifer being out to begin with. cas for lucifer being out originally and creating jack? anyway, just trying to rationalize dean being upset about mom and cas (and i guess crowley) and taking it out on sam in this way

sweet

MISSOURI He has his reasons. I’ll just stay behind, say my farewells to Dede. DEAN No, I don’t like that at all. MISSOURI You don’t have to like it. You just have to do it. You save my family, you hear me, Dean Winchester? DEAN Yes ma’am. MISSOURI Good. And thank you.

saw the "yes, ma'am" a mile away and was still good to hear. and he kind of folded in on himself looking a lot younger. just makes me sad. reminds me of times long, long since past. also lodging a complaint that she should come with purely for protection purposes

what the flying fuck was that? she just. stuck around to die. and she's dead. so she could be setup for saving her family?? what the FUCK, show. of all the one-off side characters, she was one that stuck with me straight away and you bring her back to immediately, and i mean IMMEDIATELY kill her. bullshit.

"the drama of the gifted child" and the awkward maneuvering in front of the laptop screen so he can miss jack moving. oy. this is just...

JACK Yeah well, Dean sees it. That’s why he says… he said he’d kill me. SAM He what? JACK And maybe he should. Mom said I could be good, that I had the choice to be good, that it was up to me. But she’s dead, because of me. I’ve only been on earth for a few days and I’ve already hurt people. I’ve already done bad things, and no matter how hard I try I can’t… I can’t do the one good, stupid thing you want me to. So I must be evil, like Lucifer.

i think i should have seen the allusion to sam feeling like a freak but we just met jack and this is all so... well. they want him to act like a person with no life experience and so it's all this disconnected childlike situation, but not really getting any sincere feeling emotion off him, also possibly because we just met him! no-win

JACK Sam, why are you being so nice to me? SAM Because I know what it feels like, to feel like you don’t belong. To feel like there’s this darkness inside of you, to be scared of who you are, what you can do. Dean, Cas, my family helped me through that. So now I want to help you, because you’re not evil, Jack.

glad they just said it straight out because i really don't think i was gonna reach this conclusion myself

dean so indignant, jody with the support and "cool it, bro" frown

find it pretty weird they're wedging in this missouri was actually a hunter backstory to make this plot shit work. also have some logistical questions how one feeds on a brain for an extended period of time without killing the brain owner

PATIENCE I talked to my dad. He thinks I should put it away. Dad says we should just get back to normal. Maybe he’s right. DEAN He is. This life, hunting, monsters, there’s no joy in it. There’s nothing but pain, horror and death. So if you get a chance at normal, you take it.

got the mushy music treatment.

JODY Patience, wait. I may be out of line here but you don’t have to listen to him. To either of them if it’s not what you really want. I had a daughter, I guess, Claire, and I asked her to stay in line, to fight who she really was because I thought it would keep her safe. It didn’t work, it never does. Your gift… or maybe you’re right, maybe it’ll go away. But if it doesn’t? You try to force it down to make someone else happy, you will only make yourself miserable. It’s your choice. But if you ever need someone to talk to or someplace to go, my door is always open.

and jody coming back with the realistic and less bitter advice, no more mushy music during this bit

DEAN I told him the truth. See, you think you can use this freak but I know how this ends and it ends bad. SAM I didn’t. DEAN What? SAM I didn’t ‘end bad’. When I was the freak, when I was drinking demon blood. DEAN Come on man, that’s totally different. SAM Was it? Because you could’ve put a bullet in me. Dad told you to put a bullet in me, but you didn’t! You saved me! So help me save him! DEAN You deserved to be saved, he doesn’t! SAM Yes he does, Dean, of course he does! DEAN Look, I know you think that you can use him as some sort of an interdimensional can-opener and that’s fine, but don’t act like you care about him! Because you only care about what he can do for you! So if you want to pretend, that’s fine! But me? I can hardly look at the kid! Because when I do all I see is everybody we’ve lost! SAM Mom chose to take that shot at Lucifer. That is not on Jack! DEAN And what about Cas? SAM What about Cas? DEAN He manipulated him, he made him promises, said, ‘paradise on earth’ and Cas bought it and you know what that got him? It got him dead! Now you might be able to forget about that, but I can’t!

well, thanks for the explainer as to why he blames jack for everything since i clearly couldn't get there myself. i call bullshit on that logic but whatever. dean's upset, he's being mean. there's certainly precedent for that for him too. and i guess we needed something awful enough to get jack to send some interdimensional DM to cas in the big empty

at least my irritation is prompting me to watch the episode faster and shut up more.

[seizethesam]

Ode to an Angel-Chapter 8

A/N: Hello! I have been away due to some problems. I wasn’t able to upload new chapters because I didn’t have my laptop with me. But I’m back!! I kind of tried Daryl’s pov in this chapter and I’m honestly happy about! I hope you’ll like it too!

From now on, new chapters will be posted every Sunday! So Chapter 9 will pe posted August 9th.  As always, the feedback is always appreciated! Love you! Happy reading!

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Female Reader

Warning: None!

The recommended song for this chapter is Touch by Daughter.

Chapter 7

Gif is not mine*

Chapter 8

Pink morning clouds were hanging in the Georgian sky, slowly following the East wind. Everyone in the prison were in rush to get ready for the fight with the Governor.

You’d just came back from Woodbury yesterday; it has been a day since Daryl had left with his brother, Merle. Carol and Axel were in the field, talking. Beth and Carl were in one corner, and Hershel was in the prison field.

He was talking about making this place our permanent home, about growing crops and plants to eat, about making it a living place. And wanted it, too. But the Governor…you had to fight the Governor first.

And you were just finished with placing the wooden pallets to cover yourselves when the fight comes eventually.

Your mind was at Daryl every second since yesterday. Was he alright? Of course, he was alright, he was Daryl. Was he happy about his decision? You didn’t know.

It surprised you to realize how much it hurt you to see him go like that. You tried to deny the feelings you had for Daryl, pretended to not know that you’d, in fact, liked him very much, and cared about him more than anything in the world.

You stopped ignoring the fact, simply because he was gone. You didn’t have to fear that you would get too close and end up hurt.

But you did end up hurt, even though you tried not to get close. You pushed the thought to back of your mind.

You saw Rick outside the fences, not understanding what he was doing. He was, still, in a bad state. When you’d returned from Woodbury yesterday, there were a bunch of people who Carl let in. They were fairly in bad shape and had told you that they had just lost someone.

You believed them to be good people; they were willing to help you with anything and said they would live far away from you as possible. It was a reasonable decision to accept them. You needed the numbers against the Governor.

But Rick…Well, Rick was at somewhere else. He was acting crazy, and all of a sudden, he started shouting. At first, you took it in stride. The guy had just lost his wife. He was healing, he’d held his daughter for the first time and returned to business.

The thing that bent you out of shape was the look on his face. You understood that he didn’t trust those people, that he didn’t want to help them. You truly understood him. However, he didn’t understand any of you.

The way he looked at Hershel when he told him to be in charge, it was as if he looked at a child who wouldn’t stop making a noise about something. You hated it. It was the look that Gareth had gave you and your brother.

You needed to talk to him. He saved you once, and now he was one of the things that kept you going. You couldn’t lose him too. Glenn held you back the first time, but now, he wasn’t here to keep you from talking to Rick. You started walking towards his direction, and used the breach to get out of the fences.

He was moving his arms around and murmuring something when you approached him from behind. He didn’t seem to hear you coming through the fences.

“Everything okay?” you asked, making him turn to you.

“Yea,” he replied. He was now facing you, but he turned his head to check behind him, then turned back to you.

Your gaze was on him, studying him. It was like you were getting to know him all over again. “Are you sure?” you didn’t want to push his buttons, but you were worried about him at the same time. You didn’t want to lose him too.

“I said it’s fine, don’t bother yourself, Y/N,” he said, checking his back. There was this look again. The same look he gave Hershel the other day. And it was enough to let your anger out.

You sighed as you spoke, “I don’t like the way you look at me, Rick,” the words poured one by one, “in fact, I don’t like the way you look at any of us,” you sounded pissed and you were.

He didn’t reply and kept the look on his face.

“It’s like we’re all bunch of idiots who don’t know any better,” you continued, “but let me tell you, we do, and we’re doing a lot better than you are,” you couldn’t stop yourself.

He frowned, trying to process your words, “Look—” he tried to speak but you stopped him.

“No, I’m not done, I know it’s hard, and I know you’re grieving, but you can’t treat us like that,” the look was gone, he didn’t look angry anymore, he just looked- sad. And it broke your heart. “We could’ve helped those people, and they could’ve helped us. We can’t give up on who we­—”

Rick’s eyes widened when a gunshot interrupted you. He got a hold of your arm and pushed you behind him. Your hand found its way to the pistol that was strapped around your thigh in its holster when you saw the Governor holding a machine gun aimed at the prison field. You saw Axel’s body falling to the ground.

“Get back!” Rick shouted at you through the noise of gunshots.

You ran into the longer pieces of grass and threw yourselves on the ground. “Shit!” you cried as you fell on your left elbow. Rick was just a foot away from you next to the bridge.

“I see him,” he whisper shouted as he loaded his rifle. He straightened up, aiming at the woods. He had shot a few bullets when more came your way.

“Get the fuck down,” you yelled, putting emphasis on each word.

A few minutes later the gunshots were over. You waited for a few seconds to wait for another round of fires. It didn’t come. The atmosphere was so quite now that you could hear your own hear beat.

Then an ice cream truck came over with full speed and entered the prison field, tearing down the fences. You got up on your knees to get a better look on the the truck, sporting yourself with one hand on the fence.

Moments later, the back of the truck opened to let out dozens of the walkers inside the fences.

“Hershel, get out of there!” Rick shouted.

“Rick,” you called up when you saw another dozen of walkers approaching out from the woods. You started to shoot them one by one until your bullets ran out, as well as Rick’s.

You started to make your way towards the small breach on the fences, but soon your tracks were stopped by more walkers. You drew your hunting knife from your belt and shoved it through the skull of one of them, and Rick handled another one with the back of his gun.

Rick was walking in front of you when one of the walkers got a grip of the fabric of your shirt. Thankfully, you were faster than the dead. You kicked it on its chest, making him fall into the brook.

You were about to take another one, but you heard a familiar whistle and the walker fell on the ground with a bolt in its skull.

You wondered if you were in the same state as Rick was… imagining things. But no… you wouldn’t imagine the man with the blade for a hand. But he was attacking the walkers one by one.

Then, your eyes landed on the archer, loading his crossbow and shooting a clean headshot on another walker.

---

Daryl wasn’t happy to see his brother behind the bars in the prison, though it wasn’t an unusual view for him. He had gone to several police stations for a number of times to bail Merle out.

Even though Merle was the older brother, Daryl had found himself looking after him multiple times, whether it’d be picking him up from shitty parties or from jail. It was fine with him, didn’t have anything better to do anyway, he always thought.

But now, the things were different. He’d got whole bunch of people to look after. People who seemed to care about him. Although, he didn’t make up his mind why? Why would they care about him?

And then, there were you. You had showed him that you’d cared about him. You didn’t want him going with Merle. It stunned him so much that he didn’t know what to say. Why would you want him to stay anyway? You were far more capable of taking care of yourself and the other around you. You didn’t need him, he thought.

You were college educated, knowledgeable woman who knew when to say what that he didn’t understand why you cared about him, an old dirty redneck.

But at the same time, he’d found himself caring deeply about you. When he was out there with Merle, he couldn’t stop thinking about you for a second. Just for a moment, he considered not going with Merle, just for you, he wouldn’t go.

He realized that he would rather die than to see your eyes shine with tears of sadness. He would rather see them glow with life when you’d smile at him. He would walk through fire just to make sure you were okay without thinking twice about it.

Merle was sticking his arms through the metal bars, supporting his weight, “lordy be, where’s tha’ peach ya been talkin’ about, lil bro?”

“Shut up, man,” Daryl warned his big brother before walking out of the cellblock with you.

He walked towards the exit door of the cellblock, one hand on the strap of his crossbow, watching his steps.  He opened the door and bumped into a smaller figure. He lifted his head and saw you. “Oh, sorry,” you said with a soft smile.

And there you were standing in front of him, with a little smile on your lips, smile that outshined the sun itself, Daryl thought to himself.

“Nah, s’ fine,” Daryl talked with his usual southern drawl, then moved aside to make room for you to go your way, so you did.

Daryl felt the heat spread through his body, to his chest, his back, and his ears. There he was again, not knowing what to do with himself. He stood next to the open door and watched you walk away from him. He couldn’t have his limbs moving, couldn’t go his way, just kept watching you leave.

Then, to his surprise, you stopped and turned back to him. You walked and stood right in front of him. He didn’t even time to get embarrassed about getting caught watching you.

You started speaking, “can I talk to you?” He couldn’t properly see you since his return to the prison because of all that was happening. But in reality, he didn’t know what to do or say.

“mm, hmm,” Daryl hummed as a response and you took him by the hand and dragged him outside the cellblock. The area was lonely, it was just the two of you.

You let go of his hand once you were outside, but Daryl still felt the warmth of your palm. How could he not? It felt like the sunlight on his skin. He couldn’t’ believe how everything about you was glowy like the sun.

Daryl looked at the sky when he realized he was looking at you for too long.The Georgian sun had left its place to red clouds and navy sky.

“I’m glad you’re back,” you started, “here with us.” He looked back at you when you spoke.

Daryl wondered how a human voice could be so soothing. “Never shoulda left,” he mumbled.

“No, that’s the thing,” you were looking at him in the eye, “you were right, it’s your brother. I was being selfish.” You finished.

“Ya ain’t selfish,” in Daryl’s eyes, you didn’t have one selfish bone in you.

Daryl didn’t move his gaze away from you, scared that you would disappear any time.

“I am so happy you’re here,” you said again as you hugged him. Your voice was lower than before.

Your arms were wrapped around his large figure, as you placed your chin on his shoulder. Daryl held his breath, not wanting to let you know how his heart started pacing. Suddenly, he was wrapped around a cloud of warmth. He gave in and hesitantly put his arms on your back.

You stayed in the comfort of his embrace for a while, and Daryl wasn’t complaining.

His arms unwrapped as you slowly pulled away from the hug, your cheek brushing his. Just as Daryl was about to break the hug, you pressed your lips against his.

He was petrified, unable to move. But the thought was that if you could feel his heart bumping in his chest and how soft your lips were.

Chapter 9

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[hanniiesuckle17]

Noir Reaction: Teasing Them in French

A/n: I apologize if the french phrases are incorrect, I do not speak french. Also coming up with teasing things to say is hard. But I hope this is good and you enjoy!!

Requested by: my fellow Lumi, the lovely and sweet @daewonbiased​

Seunghoon:

You had come to drop off Seunghoon’s dinner. Then you spent twenty minutes after convincing him to take a break from work. Somehow an hour later your boyfriend had dragged you to the practice room to watch him goof off and dance to random songs. Somehow he had found some mats in a closet. Somehow he had now gone off on a tangent trying to prove to you taekwondo was sexy. 

“No.” You laughed as you sat against the mirror. “You scared?” He asked with a smirk. His blonde hair fell over his eyes. “Of you, mon ours?” He laughed at your nickname for him. While he loved the adorable pet name he really loved showing off. He motioned for you to join him on the mats and he took a ready position. 

“I couldn’t possibly risk hurting such a pretty face.” You said standing in front of your boyfriend, a coy smile playing on your lips. “I’m not just a pretty face, you know.” He said grabbing ahold of your waist. Draping your arms around his neck you played with the ends of his hair. You hummed before replying, “Je parlais de moi - mon visage.” (I was talking about me- my face.)

His eyebrow quirked up. Clearly, he picked up on the connotation of your words. He took a breath, blowing some of his hair out of his face. “I put up with the boys all day and then you have to do this to me?” He scoffed and looked to the side. “Oh, I’m sorry, mon ours. Here. I’ll make it up to you.” Seunghoon couldn't help but smile when you reached up kissed him, letting your hands tangle in his hair.

Yeonkuk:

Yeonkuk sat lazily on a couch in the dressing room. Your legs were draped over his lap as you messed with his phone. The both of you were waiting for your slots on stage. Noir was performing and so was your group. Thankfully the public was very supportive of your relationship. You had even MCed together once.

“Are we eating after?” Daewon asked Yeonkuk who sat beside him. The boys were used to having you around. Yeonkuk nodded. “The girls are going to join us too. Our manager thinks it would be good press. Also, I miss seeing my baby.” Yeonkuk said bring your hand up to his lips. You smiled at him over the phone. 

“I miss you too, Minou,” He smiled at your pet name for him and continued his conversation with his dongsaeng. Time passed and both of you were growing bored exponentially. “Minou, look over here!” Yeonkuk was playing with the laces of your chunky boots and he looked over pulling a funky face. Laughing you took picture after picture of him. He let you mess around more on his phone and traced random patterns on the skin of your bare legs. 

A ding sounded on Daewon’s phone and he pulled it out and laughed. It was a picture of Yeonkuk pulling an absurd face with the caption ‘petit minou’ on Noir’s official account. “Why would you post that?” He asked with a laugh, pulling you fully into his lap. “Je ne peux pas m'en empêcher si tu as une drôle de tête.” (I can’t help it if you have a funny face.)

“Yah! I’m going to kill you!” He said playfully shaking you before kissing your cheek.

Junyong:

Lying lazily in bed with a good book was the highlight of your Saturday. Junyong was sitting against the headboard with his laptop and you lay near his feet stretched out and holding a book over your face. The soft clicking of keys and rain outside the window relaxed your mind and body. Every once in awhile Jun would absentmindedly start to rub your ankle. The loving gesture further compelled sleep to fight your consciousness. 

Every so often Junyong would ask you a question and sleepily you would respond. Eventually, you put your book aside and turned on your side giving in to the temptation of an afternoon nap. Thunder rolled and rain tapped against the window. At some point, you thought you heard Junyong pick up the phone.

Ignoring it you slipped in and out of sleep for the next ten minutes. “Y/n,” You rolled over to avoid the voice. Nothing would ruin your perfect nap. “Y/n.” Lifting a hand you waved off your boyfriend. He chuckled and continued his call. It seemed he could find the answer to his question on a place called Google. 

Close to twenty minutes after Jun called your name again. “Y/n,” Again you ignored him. “Baby?” Groaning you opened your eyes and sat up. Junyong held his phone to his ear and the other still rested on your ankle. He looked at you with a soft smile that reached his eyes. Sighing you switched positions and laid back down next to him this time nuzzling your face into his side. “Babe, do you know today’s date?”

“Oui.” (Yes.)

“Do you wanna tell me?”

“Non, ça va.” (No, I’m good.)

“Why?” “You keep interrupting my nap, dingus.”

Yunsung:

Yunsung called ahead to tell you he was leaving the shooting space. You ordered the food and set up a french tv show the two of you had been watching recently. The door opened and your boyfriend dropped his keys and bag on the table. He greeted you with a kiss. “You smell. Go shower. The food will be here soon.” He nodded and rubbed his eyes before heading to the bathroom.

Humming a random song you grabbed napkins and utensils to eat with while waiting for the delivery man. The door rang ten minutes later and you opened to see a smiling young man. “Hello, are you Y/n L/n?” He asked sweetly. Nodding you grabbed the food and set it on the table near the door and returned to sign. While writing the tip you felt two arms wrap around your stomach and you smiled. “

Thanks! Have a goodnight.” You said before closing the door. Yunsung grabbed the food and flopped on the couch waiting for you to sit beside him before playing the show. “How was your day, love?” He asked stuffing food in his hungry mouth. “Good. You?” He sighed and finished chewing. “Exhausting. We were shooting all day. I’m so ready to be done with this music video.”

“Quoi? Avez-vous dû regarder une caméra sexuellement pendant dix minutes?” (What? Did you have to stare at a camera sexily for ten minutes?) His eyebrow rose at your words and he set down his food. “Yes. I did. I was sexy all day. It was very hard.”

Siheon:

Siheon drove the two of you to the gym late at night. The security team had rented out the court for you to meet some of the boys for a late-night game. Siheon smiled as he listened to you talk on the phone with your mother. You were teaching him a little bit of french so he picked up a sentence or two. Something about him and recording. You were probably talking about their new music video that was about to come out. He was grateful your family supported him even from overseas.

Security took Siheon’s keys and drove the car around back. He slung an arm over your shoulder as the two of you walked in the building to meet the boys. You waved as you saw Junyong, Hoyeon, Seunghoon, and Minhyuk. Minhyuk had called you a couple of hours ago and asked if you wanted to play a few games of basketball.

Music blared from a speaker Hoyeon brought as you and the boys played your second game of three on three. Siheon was on a team with Junyong and Seunghoon and you were on a team with Hoyeon and Minhyuk. The six of you laughed and played late into the night. It was no surprise to the boys how intense you were. You shoulder checked your boyfriend as you raced across the court and made a layup into the hoop. 

Looking back you saw Siheon getting up from the floor. “That was a foul!” He said pointing at you with a laugh bubbling up in his throat. “Oh please. Votre vie sociale est une faute.” (Your social life is a foul.) Siheon’s face dropped and then he looked around at the other boys before laughing. “Yah! You can’t tease me like that Y/n!”

Hoyeon:

Glancing at your phone you saw a text from your boyfriend. Your boss had just let everyone go for a half-day. Something about a shipment problem? It didn’t matter because now you had the rest of the day completely free! Hoyeon messaged you that he and the boys were just arriving at their photoshoot location. Jumping in your car you drove over to the set and texted the manager to let you in as a surprise. Before you got to the shooting space you ran into Seunghoon in the hall who gave you a big hug and told you Hoyeon was just about to leave the dressing room. 

The dressing room was filled to the brim with makeup artists and stylists who rushed around trying to get ready, but only four boys were in there. Siha waved at you and beckoned you over. “Hoyeon just left for the stage. Want to walk together?” Nodding the both of you headed towards the shooting space.

The temperature immediately dropped as you walked through the doors into the big room. Huge lighting pieces lit up a backdrop that Hoyeon stood against. Siha elbowed you as the two of you came closer. The two of you giggled as you watched Hoyeon’s modeling from off to the side. 

While they were adjusting lighting he finally saw and waved at you, a big smile growing on his face. When it was over your boyfriend jogged over a planted a big kiss on your lips, completely ignoring his friend. “Good job,” Siha said patting Hoyeon on the back and congratulating him on a good shoot. “That dark disapproving, smoldering thing?” You said imitating his poses. “That’s illegal in Europe you know.” 

“Oh yeah?” He said quirking up his eyebrow and letting a smirk fall on his lips. “Heureusement, vous ne violeriez pas la loi.” (Good thing you wouldn’t be breaking the law.) His smirk grew wider before Siha tapped him on the shoulder and whispered in his ear. “Bro, I think she was messing with you. I don’t think it means what you think it means.” Siha laughed as Hoyeon’s grin fell and he turned to shoot you a playful glare.

Siha:

Today was spring cleaning. You were determined to make it so. Siha was often busy and things had picked up for you at work so both of you had gotten a little lax when it came to cleaning the apartment. Opening the windows, you started playing soft french tunes from a CD your mother sent you to listen to while cleaning.

Siha seemed to be extra affectionate today. He would come up behind you and randomly start dancing with you, before being forced back on track. He would compliment you and kiss you obviously trying to distract you. Siha was quite annoyed you chose one of his rare days off to clean and not lounge on the couch with him.

"Y/n!" Ignoring your boyfriend you continued pulling clothes from the dryer. "What, mon coeur?" You called finally giving in to his calls. He shuffled into the laundry room and wrapped his arms around your waist. "Have I told you I love you?" He said kissing your cheek. Laughing, you slapped his shoulder. "Many many times in the past hour." He sighed as you turned back around out of his embrace.

"But, Y/n, I just love you so much!"

"Arrête de dire 'je t'aime' pour sortir des corvées." (Stop saying 'I love you' to get out of chores.)

You said shoving a basket of clean laundry in his hands. Siha glared daggers at you before turning away to go put away laundry. He had no idea what you said but he was just barely smart enough to figure out that you had caught onto his scheme.

Minhyuk:

Minhyuk finally had a couple of days off from work. The two of you decided to visit your family back in Lille, France. On your second day, the two of you wandered throughout the beautiful city. Hand in hand you walked down the people-filled streets. It made you so happy to see him loving where you grew up. 

At the golden hour, the two of you ventured to the massive market near the center of the city. Minhyuk happily took pictures with the camera he had brought and excitedly ate samples with you from stalls. “Y/n! Look over here!” “Min, they are just vegetables. We have those at home!” You said with a laugh, letting your cute boyfriend drag you from stall to stall. 

You spent the day haggling with french vendors for cute little trinkets and souvenirs Min had picked up along the way. With your bags filled to the brim, you strolled down to the metro to catch the train back to your hotel. The train was quickly filled so you and Minhyuk had to sit across from each other. As the stops passed by more and more people got off at the stations.

Looking over you found Minhyuk staring at you, leaning on one of the rails and his head on resting on his hand. Laughing to cover the blush you looked away and out the window at the setting sun. Turning once again you saw him staring. “Stop staring!” He giggled and adjusted the camera in his lap before his eyes turned back to you. “I can’t help it,” He went back to contently watching you with a smile. If anyone else was in the car they might think he was crazy. 

"Pourquoi ne prenez-vous pas une photo? Cela durera plus longtemps." (Why don’t you take a picture then. It will last longer.) 

He chuckled, probably picking up a few words. Without hesitation, he aimed the camera at you and adjusted the lens before snapping the picture.

Daewon:

"Oh my god, Cheetos are not chips!" You yelled into the living room at your boyfriend. The two of you had gotten into a random debate and it had now turned into a somewhat heated argument. "Where do you find Cheetos though? In the snack aisle."

Daewon said getting up from the couch. The argument continued for at least another thirty minutes. The both of you chased each other around the living room trying to each prove their own point. "Cheetos leave the same residue that other chips do on your fingers." "They aren't chip shaped!" You said raising your hands in the air.

"Oh yeah? You really want to fight? Let's go!" He said opening his arms and challenging you. You rolled your eyes and turned your back to him muttering, "Malheureusement, j'ai une règle contre les combats contre les enfants." (Unfortunately, I have a rule against fighting children.) Turning you saw Daewon standing there with a blank look on his face.

"Y/n that's cheating. You can't just switch and tease me in french that's like so unfair." You couldn't help but laugh at your whining boyfriend. Kissing him on the cheek you walked out of the room soon after being followed by Daewon still trying to win the pointless debate. 

“Y/n! Come back here! This doesn’t mean you won!”

Requests are open! Just send an ask; don’t be shy!

Masterlist

[thewheezingbubbledragon]

It has occurred to me that Tumblr can be a void with friends so my problems arent unheard, but they are out I my head

Hey howdy poodle, it's me, snickerdoodle.

What's good my fellows.

Compadres.

Amigos.

Frendos.

Frens.

Howdy.

I am very glad you exist.

Thank you for existing and caring for me.

I love you so much.

Bless you.

Thank you.

I am coming down from a 12 hour panic attack/mental shutdown/depressive episode where I was nonverbal for 8.5 hours, and when I finally started calming down I had to speak with people and stand up and walk and make food for 2 hours. So all in all. Not great.

But better.

Anywho, so There Is A Reason for my inactivity.

I mean, there are several, but theyre all highly personal and meh.

So my fam and I spent the last.. 2 months? Or more? Moving 1800 miles across the country. We have 99% of all our stuff in one (1) storage unit that is still at our old town. (We took 1 suitcase and several bags of our stuff. That is it. For months or maybe even a year. Clothes and stuff included.) I had to leave my desktop BUT I have a laptop.

I mean it's literally held together by tape and can't be unplugged and overheats faster than Satan's flambe kitchen in high summer, but it works and I can write so it's mostly good I guess?

And I have my (bad and outofservice) phone, AND ALSO AN AMAZING TABLET SOME FRIENDS COLLABORATED AND BOUGHT FOR ME AND I CAN DRAW ON IT AND I ALREADY HAVE SO MANY PICTURES I CANNOT WAIT TO POST THEM RKSLDNNFJSLSMJFKSLSKDBJDJSKSNDJPAMAJEK

But.

We... Kinda have been living in a hotel for... What, 9? Days? Bc my parents cant find a place to move to in the city we're in, and the fact I am basically Tiny Tim with art skills and a good leg doesnt help...

Anyways.

Tumblr is a silly fun way to escape reality but I dont have the energy or mental capacity or time to respond to people if they tag me (unless it's 1 sentence or less but that is still pushing it) or write or anything or even post.

I havent been sleeping well, (lol thanks asthma, allergies, depression, anxiety, insomnia, and altitude y'all are doin amazing) and I had to leave my entire irl friendgroup back home. A lot of them dont have Instagram or ways for me to contact them aside from texting.

We moved to my previous home when I was very small, but it took me almost 12 years to finally feel like I was home. And that was because of the people I met and cherished and loved. I finally had a support network.

And then I got the news we were moving 1800 miles away.

I have left the life i've spent 12 years rebuilding. Heyhey, depression when did you get here? 16 years ago? Dandy.

Long story short, i've been through all the stages of grief already but I'm still on shakey ground. (The anger stage was the fastest? Bc I dont get angry? Except at people who are genuinely bad or disrespectful towards their audience for no reason other than petty revenge or ego. I'm talking about Thomas Austruc, in case it wasnt obvious. Friggin Miraculous...) I accepted what happened, and have accepted it since about 2 weeks after I heard. I accept and adjust to things quickly and easily. Doesnt mean I like it, but I can and do adjust my mindset and lifestyle to the winds of life.

Kinda sucks at times tbh.

Bc my brain shoves the whole messy business of 'processing' side to acknowledge and move on.

Anyways, that's not the point.

Point is, I am mentally royally screwed atm. I am not medicated for any I my issues, (ADD, major depression, multiple severe anxiety issues, to name just a few of the 'nom-physical' issues) which means life is about a billion times harder to exist in. So in short: my online status will be steady but my posts? Only time will tell.

I would like to apologize for everyone who follows me @un-romancible-npc for my Chance Maribat MariDami/Daminette AU, I am working on it, but I'm also aware of my own issues right now. And I can get about... 500 words a week at the most? Because we're so busy and I'm studying for my driver's test (several years late sadly but when you can barely afford food every month it isnt as much of a concern. Dont worry, we're better off now but it's still a struggle.) and organizin everything at home, and looking after my 2 younger siblings and my big bro, who is currently practically bed-ridden and puking his guts out. Basically... I am very sorry but I cant work on it. I CAN get a snippet out once I finish the freaking 'Mari meets everyone in the lobby' scene. I havr almost 3k words for that and some stuff that follows but the friggin LOBBY SCENE I SWEAR TO PASTA--

Anyways.

Yeah.

That's why I've been gone...

HEY HOWDY HEY NOW IT'S TIME TO TAG EVERYONE I LOVE VERY MUCH AND CANNOT COMMUNICATE WITH PROPERLY BC I'VE BEEN BUSY BUT I READ ALL YOUR POSTS AND LOVE YOU VERY MUCH THANK YOU FOR TAGGIN ME IN ALL THE STUFF I LOVE YOU AND YOU'RE ALL GORGEOUS / HANDSOME / STUNNING AND I LOVE YOU

@rogueinkglitch

@im-here-for-the-content

@kceedraws

@da-tasuky

@lady-charinette

@hetalia-lover-is-here

IF I'VE FORGOTTEN YOUR BLOG NAME I SINCERELY APOLOGIZE KNOW I STILL LOVE YOU I JUST CANNOT REMEMBER NAMES

I WOULD FORGET MY OWN NAME IF PEOPLE DIDNT CALL ME BY IT ALL THE TIME

[polygamyff]

29.

“So you just staying here then? You know you can come back with me, my family will love to have you at the house. You know you are family to me, come on. Come back to Texas, don’t be dumb, you done your work” Shawn nudged me, shaking my head “nah, you go bro. Merry Christmas Eve Eve though” hugging him “I have a lot of things to catch up on, I need to speak to Nalah and then I need to find out who is exactly coming to Dubai with me, I don’t have the time Shawn and you know that. The biggest day of my life, my own hotel opening up, I need to also check on the estate being built, I have things to do” Shawn looked at me in sadness “I think I am happy you cancelled the radio interview, you wasn’t up for it and I think you would have made it worse for yourself. Ally said she will sort out the paperwork, Merry Christmas Eve Eve to you too” I chuckled, turning him around “just go, have fun with your family. Send them my love too” opening the SUV door “I would like to stay with you actually, I don’t like this” Shawn be talking too much, I want him gone so I can deal with business. It’s normal for me, when have I ever cared for Christmas “bye Maurice, this is your first Christmas being a father, it’s not right” I sighed out “my phone is ringing, I got to go, so just go. Have a good time, open that present when you get home” walking off and towards my hotel “mom” answering the call “when are you coming back home? I don’t have Nalah, I have no Malik and no you? A Grandchild I cannot see, I want to see her!” she spat “mom, I am busy, I have business to do. When have I ever done Christmas? You know what I be doing, this is normal, stop trying to change it” smiling at my doorman “but you have a daughter now, this is different. Where are you? Can we facetime so I can see” I let out a deep sigh “I am in New York, spending Christmas where I always be, please mom don’t. I don’t want to hear it, I am going now. Enjoy your gifts I sent, and give dad my love. Tell him to relax and I will fix things” disconnecting the call.

Sitting back on my chair as I lit my cigar, my own gift to myself “Maurice” Nalah said, looking over at the laptop screen “Happy Holidays to you, I see you are in New York” nodding my head “so how is things there? Did you get Ally’ paperwork?” it looks nice wherever Nalah is “I did, I must admit things are pretty much done, I sent it to the Saudi Prince, the invite that is. He is friends with you, he will be there. But no worries, they are done, the staff are getting trained. The hotel is amazing, really amazing” blowing the smoke out from my lips as I smiled “some good news for once, I have been getting attacked from everyone, I am sure you have seen” Nalah rolled her eyes “you’re awful, I like this Maurice though. It’s sad it’s happening now but as far as I am aware, here in Dubai. Nothing has changed, people are in awe seeing the building. When we did the employment drive there was more than what we needed, it’s good because you have got good press over here, the fair pay system too. We employed a five star female Muslim chef. Made headlines here, we had plenty of men but she was so good. It’s amazing here Maurice, you have done so well. I am proud of you” I chuckled “thank you Nalah, to hear this makes me excited to come there” that is such good news, real good news “you’re not with Reign? Did she get her gifts I sent?” I shrugged “not been home, nobody is there. Courier probably got it, you know” leaning over and grabbing the whiskey glass “no, Maurice, what? Did she throw you out!?” Nalah spat “not exactly, she kind of ran off to her parents and I felt annoyed. I did call her but she never got back so I left it as that” Nalah groaned out “why are you stubborn?” I snorted laughing “no, you got it wrong. She went to her parents home and didn’t want to support me when I was angry at what Malik did so there is that. I am staying here and doing work” raising my glass “Merry Christmas to us” I grinned.

Walking ahead of Maurice, Walking away from the Eiffel tower. I gasped seeing the violinist “come on, there is a violinist in the night. This is so cute!” I yelped out, rushing towards the violinist. Looking behind me and seeing the Eiffel Tower glistening brightly in the night, my heart is so filled with joy. Looking back at the violinist “this is so romantic, the candles are heart shaped around him too just playing” I cannot get over this, I have never seen something so beautiful “it is babe” Maurice said behind me, he is the least romantic at times. “this is actually so romantic, we have to take a picture Maurice” I have to do a video of it, his ass does not care because he probably has seen this before. The violinist started playing Al Green - Let’s Stay Together. My mouth fell open, how fucking talented is this person. “You know when I first met you, I mean the second time. In Starbucks, I was already falling in deep from the moment you said my name. I did die a little inside but I can’t imagine a life without you, I just can’t see myself being with anyone else. Someone that makes me feel whole, brings me so much happiness” furrowing my eyebrows poking my lips out “this is probably the most scariest thing I am doing right now” the crowd started pointing behind me, I am confused. Slowly turning around “I know baby, the best moment was seeing you-” I stopped speaking staring down at him “I want to be there for you for the happy times, the sad times and even the bad. You make me function, I want you to wear the title of being my wife, that is what you are to me. Will you marry me?” seeing Maurice down on one knee, the sound of AI Green and this “Maurice, oh my god. Yes! Yes I will” Leon shrieked out, my eyes welling up. My body jerked and my eyes opened a little seeing Reign’ bassinet at the side of my bed, I groaned out as I switched positions to go back to sleep again, my mind just dreaming off.

“Come on, let’s go in here” looking behind me “we can’t go in there, you know. We need to go back” looking down the lobby and at the party “I hate him, Shawn. I hate him!” seeing Naomi storm out crying, I gasped seeing Maurice running out towards Naomi “she is being crazy, I am not doing anything” staring at Maurice in shock, he has walked by me like he hasn’t just seen me, what am I to him “come on, you know I love you. Come on, I wouldn’t do that to you” Maurice grabbed Naomi by her arm and pulled her back to the party “no!” I spat but I woke up, looking around me in the room. I must have said that aloud to myself, rubbing my head. My head is killing me, I am sick of my mind just going back to things, why am I even dreaming of Maurice. Shuffling up on the bed, I am sweating from this. Resting my head back and then dropping my hand onto my lap, looking down at my hand seeing the ring he gave me. Last time I dreamt of Maurice he was dying, now I hate that thought in my mind. It’s late. Reaching over to my stand, my screen light lit up. It’s two in the morning so it’s like five there so I am assuming he is asleep. I need to check if he alive, if he picks up I can always put the phone down. Unlocking my phone, tapping on his name. Placing the phone against my ear, it rang out and the phone got answered from the first ring, now I feel like not putting the phone down “you’re awake” I said “you woke me” he has just woke up, I can hear it in his voice “that quick?” I questioned “you woke me like I said” he is a liar, I never did “you was in my dream” we both said in a unison and the phone line fell silent, ever so silent that it sounds like we both disconnected the call.

Maurice let out a deep chuckle “I just wanted to check if you wasn’t dying, that is all” I ain’t going to have him thinking I am dreaming of him because I love him because right at this moment I do not “and I’m alive, thanks” I groaned out “right, you’re an asshole. I just want to add, I mean you know that anyways don’t you. I had to have your baby out of everything, out of everyone, it had to be yours. You know what, I was fine without you, without a baby. I was doing just fine, a fucking surgeon and now I am stuck with your name, that Davenport shit. I hate you Maurice, and on top of that you haven’t made the effort to try, coward. You are hiding in New York, nothing is holding you back coming here. Oh, fuck you” disconnecting the call “I hate him, I hate him. I decided I hate him, no” taking my ring off, his fucking silence. He doesn’t care for me, I mean if he doesn’t care to see his own daughter then who am I. That is true, who the fuck am I in this, maybe he’s been feeding me lies all this time, my phone started ringing on my bed, he’s actually calling back. Sliding across to answer the call “don’t put the phone down” he said quick “I called you, you ignored me. So it is your fault, you ran too. To your parents” so now it is my fault “I went to my parents home because my daughter is here, not only that my parents actually help me. I have done nothing but be there for you! God forbid I ignored your call which didn’t happen, I forgot. I for once was thinking of me and you’re sat there crying about ignoring, when has my parents ever not allow you to come here huh? Tell me that, you could have came with me but no, Maurice decided not too. You may not care but I do, I have a daughter that needs me. You’re not first on my list, she is. You didn’t carry her, I did. You fucking stay there, I wish I knew. I wish I knew before I slept with you, without a fucking condom too, what a stupid bitch. The amount of women that have had you, oh my god. And to think my daughter will grow up and Google you and your psychotic family and read that, you are a bastard. I am sorry but you are, when Naomi said that she is not wrong. I read that article not once, but twice. It came to me, when I met you at Kellen’ wedding her timeline ended because you fucking made that Facebook and came to me. How can one be like this, you hid it all from me because of money. You get everything you want with money but over my dead body you will take my daughter from me. I will kill you!” I shouted so loud, I am heaving in anger right now “she had pictures of you and her” my voice broke “and then that fucking picture of me on there, my face at your birthday. Maurice’ fucking mistress on the left with Beyonce, I have a normal life. I have people seeing me on the streets. You are fucking dragging me down with you and you have the nerve to fucking hide away. Was I just like her? She seemed to be very active in your life, Roseina, that is her name. She sold you out because you broke contact with her, she knew about Naomi but didn’t care as you made her feel special” disconnecting the call again, I can’t do it as I sobbed out to myself.

Just when I dozed off after I turned my phone off Reign started to cry, I had to get out of bed for her but she woke up early today. Not even turned six yet, walking around the bed. I bought a bassinet so I can have her in the room with me, it makes it easier for me even though my parents have a room for her “what is with the tears, who hurt you” cradling Reign in my arms “only I can cry like that baby” touching her tiny nose with my finger, a small smile played on her lips “awwww, I just love you so much. Merry Christmas eve. First Christmas together, my perfect little gift” pressing kisses to her cheek, let me go downstairs and make her a bottle. I am not about that breastfeeding right now, I just feel so tired. Dragging open the door I near screamed “sorry, I been awake. I heard my baby crying” my mother said “it’s ok, I got it” my mother looks like she has been hearing me cry “you go and rest, I will feed her. Go on, we have some shopping to do today also” looking down at Reign “but mom, I can do it” she raised an eyebrow “Robyn” she knows I have been crying “ok” I will try and get some sleep.

It’s Christmas Eve and it’s not a good day to go food shopping but I thought I would come with them, I have been in the house every day since so I need some air with my daughter. I can see Nalah is having a good time in Dubai, I have never seen the girl smile so much. Liking the picture before scrolling down but I stopped “woah!” I said to myself, Malik is posting so he is alive and his dad has not killed him. Clearly he is in a foreign country but he seems to either be brushing off on what has happened or faking it, whatever he is doing I am ignoring that shit. Scrolling down passed that post, I did decide on my daughter not being posted publicly unless it’s for a reason, like when Maurice did that interview but I don’t want my daughter’ picture floating around at all. It’s something I don’t want for her, it’s bad enough that incubator picture is floating around. It’s a mess and I wish I honestly just paid attention to the situation, I just acted so dumb but I was so comfortable with him. First he was a hotel worker, then a manager, then the fucking owner of the hotel and I just didn’t think. Kellen is a bastard too, he could have said it to me. This game is not funny because look at this, I have a baby from this and I don’t hate her but I hate the situation “you look in pain” my dad spoke “uh yeah, you always catch me. I am just thinking” my dad is watching me so closely, he doesn’t like this at all.

Pushing the stroller behind my parents, it is a so busy but I am not shocked at all. Reign is wide awake and just staring at me, she is still trying to figure out my face. The way she stares at me melts my heart, she is so innocent in this “we are just going to get some fruit, wait there baby” my mom said before walking off, it is too busy there so I will just go here. Flexing my fingers out and seeing my bare hands, the ring I removed because I just couldn’t take it. Not like this, I can’t. I was being dumb, I was being dumb in love. Standing in the corner waiting on my parents to come back “hey princess” reaching into the stroller “first Christmas for you, you won’t remember it but I will take plenty of pictures for you to look at” she seems so quiet right now, she will hopefully drop off soon. I sighed out looking up, I did a double take catching my face on the magazine these girls are reading. I just want the ground to swallow me up, I looked away quickly “I am sure that is her” hearing one of them say, I swallowed hard. I need to pull it together, looking over at the girls and they just stared “it is” she mumbled “what?” I said, the girl closed the magazine before walking off with it, this is just crazy.

“You have been awfully quiet, I don’t like this Robyn. You should have just stayed inside” I feel like a child when I am home but I don’t want to go back to that house, it’s his not mine and I don’t want to be there “well I am just thinking mom, I made a mistake ok. Can I just think” they don’t let me breath at all “I could have told you that” my dad added “thanks” shaking my head “Thomas, you don’t say that. Reign is so precious, stop it” my mom scolded my dad “not Reign, that man. He is upsetting my daughter. I can’t deal with that, he said he wouldn’t upset her. Look at her Terry. Reign has no dad!” I had to laugh “dad, right. If I say that, if I stop that man from seeing his daughter even though he doesn’t come anyways he would hound us, his family can delete Google fucking history what are we!? They will get what they want so let’s not. I have to think, don’t ever say anything like that. It can cause a lot of shit. Even if Maurice hasn’t come now, they will come for their blood so I won’t go for them and their money, Maurice won’t even need to do anything because his dad will. Just don’t, let me think” I sighed out, I need to think “well think fast, I think Maurice is sat on our front porch” lifting my head up “fuck my life” I groaned out.