#bro my heart is all fluttery now i feel so ALIVE

[dumblefairy]

hi yes henlo i would like to sit on joker’s lap without asking first and wind my arms around his neck, fingers delving into vibrant green, and smother his face in so many kissies that he can only sit there lightly clasping my wrists and giggling, his nose wrinkled and the music of his joy filling my ears and soothing me from the inside out.im wamnt to give bb kissies and a love so intense he doesnt know what to do with himself or with me mwah mwah MWUAH

literally me opening my inbox and reading this rn:

also did someone say the words JOKER and LAP??? THOSE ARE THE TWO SUPERIOR THINGS and they hold so much power….

ngl i’m imagining you straddled across his lap whilst he looks like this bro byeeeee

oh man HE WOULD GIGGLE SO MUCH and when you smudge tf out of his makeup with kisses (getting it all over your own face MAY I ADD) he would grin so hard because you look so fucking cute at this point LETS BE REAL

dude you’re making him laugh so much the man is choking on his cigarette. you both look A MESS. he takes the day off because he wants to spend it giggling uncontrollably with his precious little fawn dhsjksjs like fr you both make each other SO HAPPY it’s honestly the cutest most pure thing and tbh i am crying

[sunsetcurveofficial]

Ooh, drunk Willex with Alex deciding NOW is the best time for Willie to teach him how to skateboard

this is my first time writing main willex (as in, not just as background relationship). been super excited for it but i feel like i still need some warming up to get their dynamic on point. let me know what you think!! 

there is also a side of peterpatter in this because. have you met me?

hope you enjoy this fun little fic. xx

also available on ao3

--------------------------------

In hindsight, Alex should have known that it wasn’t the best idea to get drunk on alcohol Willie smuggled out of Caleb’s cursed club with the three most chaotic people he knew. Which, coincidentally, also happened to be three people - or ghosts, really - he loved most in the world. But sometimes the most inadvisable ideas also turned out to be the best ideas. Even Alex had to admit that. 

“How does this even work?” Reggie asked when they were about two bottles in. There was a lilt to his voice that left no doubt about his state of drunkenness. “We don’t have a bloodstream! Why are we drunk?” 

“Well, how did we eat without a stomach, Reg? It’s ghost magic,” Alex said, too busy looking at Willie to even turn his head in Reggie’s direction. 

“It totally is, bro. But it’s neat, isn’t it?” Willie didn’t take his eyes off him either, and Alex smiled at him, the fluttery feeling in his chest spreading through his entire non-body. He still didn’t understand how he had a body but didn’t have one both at the same time. It was confusing, and Alex had always been most comforted by a clear explanation for things that made sense. And this ghost thing still didn’t make any sense at all. 

“I never got drunk when we were alive,” Alex admitted, “It feels nice. All fuzzy.” 

It did feel nice. Warm and tingly. He was feeling less anxious about, well, most things. He barely even thought about the fact that ghosts shouldn’t be able to get drunk. And he thought he could kiss Willie right now and would barely feel nervous about it, which was also pretty nice. In fact, he felt like he could conquer the world right then if he wanted to. 

Or, “Teach me how to skateboard!” Alex blurted, and Willie’s eyes widened for a second before he broke out into a grin. Alex blamed his friends for this. It seemed their chaotic energy was so infectious that it made Alex suggest something stupid like that at 2 am. He knew he would only make a fool of himself, but Willie looked way too excited for him to take it back now. 

“That is a brilliant idea!” Willie said. 

“I wanna come, too,” Luke announced. He’d been unusually quiet all night, and now he had his arms wrapped around one of Reggie’s arms like it wasn’t a limb but a stuffed animal he cuddled for comfort. Or something. Luke had always been very physically affectionate, clingy almost, and it appeared that particular trait only got enhanced by the alcohol in his non-existent blood stream. 

“You already know how to skateboard, Luke,” Reggie said a little dumbly. Luke made a whining noise. 

“I still wanna come! I wanna see Alex trying to impress Willie and falling on his ass instead.” 

Alex glared at his friend just as Reggie’s face lit up. Great.

“Actually, I wanna see that, too!” 

Alex rolled his eyes, but then Willie took his hand and he didn’t really care anymore. He just wanted to be close to Willie, and getting taught how to skate seemed like the perfect opportunity.

So that’s how they ended up by the beach, on a dimly lit path that Willie deemed good enough for practice. Luke and Reggie flopped down onto a log on the side, whispering about something, and Alex let Willie guide him onto the board. 

“Let’s try it together,” Willie said, pressing himself behind Alex on the short skateboard, wrapping an arm around his waist and using the other to take his hand. Alex felt all warm again, and he took a deep breath to steady himself. The fact that he was still feeling a little drunk certainly helped. 

Willie started pushing them along with the leg that wasn’t on the board, and Alex mirrored his movements. He wasn’t really surprised that they only made it about five feet before landing in a tangle of limbs on the ground. Alex blushed, but Willie laughed like he was having the best time of his life. He jumped up and offered Alex a hand.

“Let’s try it again, hotdog.” 

Alex smiled at him and let himself be pulled up. He would try again and again just to have Willie pressed against his back once more. 

They tried a few more times, getting steadier and steadier every time, while Luke and Reggie kept cheering them on from the side. Luke had slung his legs acrss Reggie’s lap the last time he looked at them. But Alex didn’t really care much about what they were doing anyway. He much rather focussed on his almost-boyfriend instead, who kept giving him animated instructions that made his heart flutter. 

Alex absolutely did land on his ass again the first time he tried skating by himself, with Willie cheering him on. He poked his tongue out at him as he was sitting here, waiting for Willie to pull him up. 

“You’re a regular Tony Hawk, hotdog,” Willie said around a laugh when he offered Alex a hand and pulled him up with a little more force than necessary, making Alex stumble right into him. Willie wrapped his arms around his waist to steady him, and Alex’s heartbeat sped up. If he wasn’t still drunk, he would probably start a thought spiral about his heart speeding up when he didn’t actually have a heart anymore. But his head was still feeling blissfully fuzzy, so he smiled at Willie instead, eyes darting to his lips. He’d never kissed anyone but Luke before, back when they were 14 and just trying things for the sake of it, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to be tipsy and a little out of it on a dimly lit path along the beach when he kissed Willie for the first time. 

“Oha, hotdog, you’re really making this hard if you keep staring at my lips,” Willie said, grinning stupidly. “I really want to kiss you now.” 

Alex made a choking sound, his chest feeling a little tight, but there was still none of the anxiety he expected. So he smiled tentatively. 

“Okay,” he breathed, nodding. 

And Willie kissed him, right there, right then, and Alex thought that it probably wasn’t the perfect moment, but it felt perfect, and that was what really mattered, right? Willie was grinning against his lips when Alex kissed him back, and it was the best feeling in the world. No offence to Luke, but their awkward kissing didn’t compare at all to the way Willie’s soft lips felt against his, the way his hands were roaming over his back, and the way he tasted like ghost liquor and - Coca Cola chapstick? 

“I’d say you’re much better at this than you are at skateboarding, Alex,” Willie told him when they broke apart, both breathing a little heavily, and Alex knew his dopey grin matched Willie’s. He really was the most beautiful person - ghost or not - Alex had ever seen. 

Luke and Reggie were cheering from the sidelines, Luke hopping up from Reggie’s lap to come over and clap Alex on the back. That boy really did not know any boundaries at all. Reggie joined them too, and Alex squirmed away from his touchy friends to wrap himself around Willie again instead. 

“It’s really not fair!” Luke suddenly complained, the whiny voice back in full. “What does a ghost have to do around here to get a kiss like that?” 

“Be in the right place at the right time for someone cute to run you over on a skateboard,” Alex said cheekily, and Willie kissed his cheek. 

“Run someone really cute over on your skateboard in the right place at the right time,” Willie told him with a grin, and Alex felt all fluttery again. He thought he was falling in love. Kinda hard and kinda fast, but right then it didn’t even scare him that much. It was good. 

“You guys are too cute,” Luke whined, flipping them the bird. Reggie was suspiciously quiet, eyeing Luke from the side. Alex saw it coming the moment Reggie moved. He just knew him too well. Reggie grabbed Luke’s arm, made him turn around, and then pressed their lips together in a kiss that made Luke gasp not-so-subtly. 

Alex laughed as Willie nudged him in the side. 

“Looks like sometimes you only need to whine enough for your friend to take pity on you,” Alex commented. Luke pulled away from Reggie, eyes wide and cheeks flushed. There was a frown growing on his forehead. 

“Pity?” he asked, looking hurt as he stared at Reggie. 

“Poor choice of words, hotdog,” Willie whispered conspiratorially. Reggie glared at Alex, who raised his hands in surrender. 

“Okay. No pity, then. Have fun, boys,” he said. Reggie pulling Luke back in by his shirt was the last thing he saw before poofing away, arms still wrapped around Willie. He brought them to a skate park close to his old high school. 

“Now that we got rid of those clowns. I wouldn’t mind another lesson,” Alex said, smiling at Willie. 

“In skateboarding or kissing?” Willie asked, wiggling his eyebrows. Alex did mean skateboarding, but putting it like that… He pulled Willie into another kiss instead, leaving the skateboarding for another day. 

-  End.   - 

[dragonbagel]

rhack single dad AU that i forgot to post here

Rhys is pretty good at handling shitty situations. He's managed to balance climbing the cutthroat Hyperion corporate ladder and paying for his lunch-leeching best friend's lunch for years, all while raising his daughter on his own after his fiancee (and the mother of his child) jumped ship.

With all his amazing skills, a stupid crush shouldn't even put a frown on Rhys' pretty, pretty face.

Except for the fact that this crush happened to be on Handsome fucking Jack.

you can read it on ao3 (there are multiple chapters)

Rhys had a crush on Handsome Jack.

He tested the weight of the words out in his mind. Rhys, a middle manager turned PA, had a crush on Handsome Jack, the terrifying CEO in charge of an entire space station.

Yeah, he was fucked.

He’d denied it at first, those strange, fluttery feelings in his stomach whenever he was around Jack. It was just nerves, it had to be. He’d never had feelings for another guy before, and the whole thing was kind of freaking him out. He’d always thought of himself as straight, and tried to remind himself of that in an attempt to will away his stupid fucking crush.

But he knew what it meant when his heart rate picked up, when his hands felt clammy and he acted even more awkward than usual. He may have spent the past few years single, but that didn’t mean he’d forgotten the signs.

Rhys had a crush on Handsome Jack.

He sighed as he gathered up his belongings and exited the office. There was no way this would end well for him; but Rhys had always been a sucker for making bad decisions.

“Dad, pay attention! I asked if you wanted any more tea.”

“Hmm?” Rhys said, snapped out of his embarrassing thoughts of Jack and back into the reality of his daughter’s imaginary tea party that he was attending.

“Daaaaaad,” she whined, and Rhys flashed her a grin.

“Right, right. I’ll have another cup, your majesty.”

Tina huffed. “Well, that’s too bad, because I just gave the rest of the tea to Zer0.”

She gestured to her Vault Hunter stuffed animal, which was seated next to Rhys. He snorted; her stubbornness reminded him of himself.

“Well, if I go make you some grilled cheese, would you maybe consider getting more tea for me?”

Tina mulled the offer over for a moment before her stomach growled loudly, and Rhys laughed as he stood up from the table. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

He hummed as he set about preparing dinner, glancing up every few minutes to make sure Tina was still pretending to make tea and not getting herself into trouble. Raising a kid on his own had allowed him to perfect the art of multitasking, especially now that Tina was nine with a tendency for mischief.

Well, Rhys thought he had a knack for multitasking. The smoke alarm suddenly going off proved otherwise.

“Shit!” he said, nearly burning himself in his haste to take the grilled cheese off the stove and waving away the smoke.

“Dad, you said a bad word!” Tina said, looking up from where she’d been adjusting her Axton doll in its seat. She wasn’t really fazed by the burning food, considering her dad wasn’t exactly a master chef.

“Sorry, sorry,” Rhys said quickly, scrambling to turn off the still-beeping smoke alarm. “I was too busy thinking about how excited I was for that tea.”

The real reason for his distraction was too embarrassing to admit, even to himself: I was too busy thinking about Handsome Jack.

“I’ll order us some pizza, okay?” He pulled out his ECHOcomm, entering the number he knew by heart (he’d already said he wasn’t a great cook, alright?).

“Mhmm,” Tina said, yawning as she poured imaginary tea into Rhys’ glass; he hoped the pizza would come soon, because dealing with his cranky daughter was the opposite of fun.

He slid into the seat across from her, blowing on his “tea” before miming taking a sip. “You’re too good to me, my queen.”

Tina smiled, showing off a few missing teeth. “I know.”

Rhys was exhausted when he came into work the next day. Tina had run into his room in the middle of the night hysterically crying from a nightmare, and Rhys had spent hours trying to calm her down before she finally fell asleep in his bed next to him.

“Mornin’, cupcake.”

Rhys looked up from where he’d been unloading his work bag to see Jack standing before him, flashing him with a grin.

“Hey Jack,” he said, yawning.

“You look tired,” Jack said, stating the obvious.

“Yeah, just, um, give me a sec to finish my coffee, then I’ll be good as new.” Rhys ended his sentence with a yawn before bringing his travel mug up to his lips, attempting to hide the blush on his face.

Really, Rhys? “Good as new?” What kind of lame bullshit is that?

“You’d better be,” Jack said, bringing Rhys back from his mental chastisement. “Hyperion needs you, Rhysie.”

His words sent Rhys’ mind reeling in the sappiest of directions, and he quickly nodded before he had the chance to say any more stupid crap to embarrass himself with.

“Oh, and make sure to look over that email we’re sending out to Torgue.” Jack had returned to his desk, spinning around in his chair like the hyperactive man-child he was.

“You mean the one telling them to go suck a kraggon’s dick and stop trying to copy our designs?” Rhys replied as he opened the file.

“Yep,” Jack said, laughing. “That’s the one.”

Rhys hated that Jack’s laugh sent fuzzy feelings through his entire body, even if it was at the expense of the childish email that Rhys would later have to draft an apology for.

The office was soon filled with silence aside from the clicking of keys, and Rhys wasn’t sure how much time had passed before Jack put a hand on his shoulder.

Rhys had startled at the touch, having been so engrossed in his work that he hadn’t even noticed Jack approaching him.

“Hey, kitten, why don’t you take the rest of the afternoon off? I’ve got an… appointment coming in for a little chat in a few minutes.”

Rhys had worked for Jack long enough to know that this was code for “some asshole is coming in and he’s not making it out alive,” and he wondered who the poor soul was this time.

“Oh, um, okay, sure. Thanks for the heads up.”

Rhys fumbled for the work he needed to finish at home as he packed up his bag, acutely aware of the fact that Jack hadn’t removed his hand from his shoulder.

“I know you’re not a huge fan of the whole bloody murder thing,” Jack said, chuckling.

Rhys shivered at the sound, praying that Jack couldn’t tell. “That’s an understatement.”

He stood up as he heard the doorbell to the office ring, frowning slightly at the loss of physical contact.

“See you tomorrow?”

Jack shot him finger guns as he exited the office, sidestepping an antsy, vaguely familiar guy from accounting (he was pretty sure Vaughn had bitched about him at one time or another). “You know it, kitten.”

Rhys was glad he was out of the office, because the obvious redness of his face was cringe-worthy in its unprofessionalism. He stopped in the Hub of Heroism to grab food, having forgotten to go on a lunch break as usual. He even bought extras to reheat for dinner that night, considering the fiasco that had been his attempt at cooking the previous evening.

The apartment, when Rhys finally arrived home to it, felt empty without Tina inside. She was usually home earlier than him, playing games with Vaughn or Yvette once they picked her up from after-school daycare. It wasn’t Rhys’ fault Handsome Jack overworked him, and he couldn’t exactly complain about his job; he had two people to support on his paycheck, and living on Helios wasn’t exactly cheap.

He watched TV as he ate his meal, then took some time to catch up on dishes and other housework that needed to be done. Tina was like a tornado tearing through the house, and her definition of “cleaning” was very different from Rhys’.

Even after his extensive cleaning, he still had a few hours before he could surprise Tina and Vaughn when they arrived. Despite all the coffee he’d had earlier, he really was exhausted, and a nap sounded heavenly.

He stripped down to his boxers and sank into the mattress with a sigh; it had been a long time since he’d been able to properly indulge in the “treat yourself” mindset. This was probably why he ended up jerking off before falling asleep.

And while he hated himself for it, he couldn’t deny that he’d done it while thinking about Jack.

Rhys was roused from his nap by the weight of a child crashing down onto him, knocking the air out of his lungs.

“Daddy, you’re home early!” Tina cried excitedly, hugging him as Rhys looped an arm around her back.

“Yep,” he said, groaning. “I think you broke like half my ribs, kid.”

“Oops!” Tina said, easing off of him but looking anything but apologetic.

Rhys grinned as he pushed her onto the sheets next to him, tickling her stomach as she screamed at him to stop. Tears had sprung in her eyes as she laughed, and she was weakly pushing at Rhys.

“What’s going on in here?” Vaughn appeared in the doorway, an amused look on his face.

“Someone just tried to crush me, so I’m getting payback.” Tina shrieked as she giggled, kicking her legs out wildly and accidentally hitting Rhys in the crotch.

Rhys stopped his attack with an “oompf,” and Vaughn had to cover his mouth to stop from laughing out loud.

“Come on, Tina,” Vaughn said, holding his hand out. “Let’s give your dad some time to get dressed. I found some Chinese food in the fridge we can eat.”

Rhys mouthed a “thank you” to his bro before shouting, “Don’t touch the tofu triangles, those are mine!”

“Nobody wants to eat your disgusting rubber food!” Vaughn called back, and Rhys heard the unmistakeable sound of his daughter’s laughter.

He rolled his eyes as he forced himself to get out of bed and put some clothes on, his stomach rumbling. He really didn’t thank Vaughn enough for all the help he’d given him, especially after…No. Don’t think about her. Don’t even think her name.

Vaughn and Tina were eating stir fry and watching cartoons when Rhys entered the kitchen, and he smiled appreciatively at his own plate of reheated food at the table. Tina had arranged the little triangles into a heart, and Rhys only hoped Vaughn had reminded her to wash her hands first.

Oh well. If he was going to die of food poisoning after this meal, it wouldn’t be such a horrible way to go.