#bro making miniatures? literally look at anything and make it tiny

[taxonomicons]

terrified of the day I stop picking up the pencil to draw because other creative hobbies are less physically taxing on my wrists

[fzzr]

I Can't Quit Gurren Lagann

Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann is my favorite anime franchise of all time. The second movie, Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann: Lagann-hen is not coincidentally the anime which I have rated 10/10 longer than any other†. So, why is Gurren Lagann great, and Lagann-hen Perfect In Every Way That Matters?

Gurren Lagann starts with only a few minutes to introduce us to the protagonist, Simon, and his slow life digging new tunnels for the underground village he calls home. The first domino of the series falls immediately, with his discovery of a tiny, glowing drill perfect for use as a necklace. From there we move on directly to Simon's "big bro" Kamina trying to break through the roof of the village using a tower of screaming livestock. Next, Simon discovers the lock to which the drill he found is the key - a miniature mecha (later named Lagann), glowing with that same pulsing green. Soon the ceiling cracks open, and in falls a mecha at full scale. It is pursued by a woman with a railgun sniper rifle wearing nothing but a bikini, tights, and ammunition. After some shenanigans and encouragement from Kamina, Simon pilots his miniature mecha to victory and in the same motion launches himself, Kamina, and the lady sharpshooter Yoko into an open sky nigh unimaginable to residents of an underground village.

I could summarize the series blow-by-blow from memory, but I'll cut myself off here. The plot consists of the trio and others they meet along the way building up the titular mecha Gurren Lagann from the parts of the mecha they defeat. They then declare a revolution against the "beastmen" who pilot the hostile mecha, as well as their commander, the Spiral King Lordgenome. The key theme is advancement, with each turn of the drill of your soul moving you forward a bit more. The story is actually four repetitions of the same pattern: Our protagonists seize something small by their own effort and build it up until they can take on and capture something orders of magnitude larger, both literally and emotionally. Lagann is shorter than an adult man. By the end of the first arc, they are up against a battleship. After that, it escalates to them facing a mecha the size of a city, and things get exponential from there as each revolution is succeeded by another.

Around and around and around

What else should I gush about? Speed round!

The music is awesome. From the OP to the eyecatch stings to the hiphop-and-Latin-prayer banger Libera Me From Hell, it's hits all the time. Sorairo Days is so beloved it makes cameos in other anime. It's not just the epic moments, either. Gurren Lagann gets dark sometimes and it takes the music there, but it always has its signature sound. I have a lot of anime songs on my playlist rotations, but Gurren Lagann might have songs on the most diverse playlists.

Animation! When at the top of its game (and especially in the movies), Gurren Lagann's action animation can stand up to anything from Akira to Demon Slayer. Even in regular scenes, there's always something to look at. Still, Gurren Lagann is a show that lives on spectacle, but it doesn't die on it. Fights are always dynamic, and character action both informs and is informed by their unique personality and goals.

And those characters are iconic. Kamina, Yoko, Simon, Nia, Kittan, Viral, all of them except Rossiu. I appreciate how each of them grows in the story and grows on you at the same time. For a series about advancement and moving ever forward, it was critical that the characters progress in their own ways, and so they do. For such a bombastic show, it's crazy how subtly some of them get where they're going.

How to Watch Gurren Lagann

The correct answer is "as soon as possible and as much as is necessary" but that's probably not what you're looking for. Gurren Lagann the series is 27 episodes long. It is broadly split in half by a timeskip. The two movies each summarize and adapt one side of the timeskip give or take an episode. Unfortunately, Gurren-hen, the first movie, does too much summarizing and not enough adapting. As a result it yadda yaddas over a bunch of character introduction and development you need to know for later. Thus the best way to watch the pre-timeskip is the TV series. Lagann-hen on the other hand is Perfect In Every Way That Matters. It pretty much completely obsoletes the post-timeskip part of the series. There is still good stuff to be had, but Lagann-hen is proof that it's not necessary. Unfortunately, the continuity of Lagann-hen is set up to match Gurren-hen, so transitioning from the series into Lagann-hen is not seamless. I think it's worth watching the whole series and then the movies, but if you only want to make one run through the story, go with the TV series for episodes 1-15, then Lagann-hen. Lagann-hen changes some dialogue from episode 15, but don't worry about it - just go with the Lagann-hen version.

Conclusion

Scores: TV series and Gurren-hen: 9/10. Lagann-hen: 10/10.

Recommendation: In my opinion Gurren Lagann is just as suitable to be a first mecha anime as a fiftieth, but the necessary watch order for the best results can lead to either some confusion or some repetition, knocking off points for those not willing to put in that much time. Nonetheless, in my opinion everyone who cares about anime action owes it to themselves to watch Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann.

Gurren Lagann does require a somewhat elevated power level. In their time, excessive use of bouncy breast physics was known as "Gainaxing" and that is certainly present in some parts of Gurren Lagann. The movies, free of the requirements of broadcast television, don't bother with even token censorship in this matter.

Comparisons

At the time they made Gurren Lagann, Gainax was arguably the studio with the most impact on the Super Robot genre. Eleven years earlier, they had shattered the scene with Neon Genesis Evangelion, the influence of which is inescapable to this day (and not just because Hideaki Anno spent fifteen years cashing in on the IP with the Rebuild movies). Gurren Lagann was their first full-length return to the genre after Evangelion, and they brought their A game.

I do not like Evangelion. I have never managed to sit through the whole TV series, and I found the third and fourth Rebuild movies so exasperatingly boring and obtuse that they made me actually mad for how much money was spent on them. Rebuild's baffling storytelling aside, the main reason I don't like Evangelion is the characters are just not fun to be around. Gurren Lagann is the anti-Evangelion in this (and many other) ways. The characters are bright, generally having a good time, take action, and of course kick ass. Even when characters are down in the dumps and act in self-destructive ways, you have had enough time making friends with them to want to stick it out until they're through it. When they do make it through, it's glorious and earned and inspiring.

Final Thoughts

I couldn't fit anywhere near everything I wanted to say in here. I'll leave you with one more thing: It's not notable by general otaku standards, but I am not someone who buys much merch. Gurren Lagann is the only anime franchise for which I have bought third party merch. Specifically I bought a physical printing of the sadly defunct fan webcomic Double K, a buddy cop comedy starring Kamina and Kittan (spoiler, they're BOTH the loose cannon).

† By the way, any time I talk about top rated anime movies, you can assume I excluded Ghibli movies from contention. They are excellent in a way almost completely orthogonal to how I think about most anime, and putting them on the same list would water down the significance of a 10/10 rating through sheer numbers.

[kingtrashlord]

Hey There Cupcake

My fic for @starfruitspice‘s art for the @borderlandsbigbang

Pairing: Rhack

Rating: M for language

Summary: Rhys stumbled upon Jack arguing with Tassiter and did not become obsessed - no matter what Vaughn says - and decided to make the man a treat to cheer him up. the results were unexpected but not unwanted.

- Rhys, no last name given.

- Male.

- 22 years old.

- Brown hair.

- Brown right eye, blue ECHO right eye.

- Hyperion Propaganda and external relations intern.

- Internship has low pay but provides housing and meal plan.

- Promotion due in 2 years if adequate work and work ethic.

- 1 of 50 volunteers for experimental ECHO eye and arm surgery.

- 1 of 15 to survive without any ailments after the procedure.

- 3 months expected recovery time.

- Actual time: 5 months due to inability to properly rest

***

Rhys was walking down the hall towards the cafeteria when he first ran into him. He had a lunch date scheduled with his roommate Vaughn, but his mind was forcefully dragged away from the thought of food when he stumbled upon Tassiter and an unknown man arguing down a secluded hallway. He knew he shouldn’t eavesdrop, but Rhys in all his years at Hyperion had never seen anyone argue with the big boss like that.

“What do you mean I can’t get a fucking raise? I’m better than all your fucking code monkeys combined!”

“John -”

“Jack.” The man cut Tassiter off, his tanned face getting closer to the older, greying man.

“Yes, Jack. There is nothing I can do. You’ll have to talk to your supervisor.”

“You’re my supervisor's boss asshole. Just give me the raise or tell him to give me it at least. I work too hard for the shit wage I have.”

Tassiter gave the man Rhys assumed to be Jack, a sour stare. His already thin eyes narrowed further and his lips pursed. “I will not waste my time or money on one man when I already have to pay an army “fair wages”.”

Rhys could tell, even from his distance away that Jack was not happy with the response he was given. Jack’s hands balled into fists and his head lowered a bit. He reminded Rhys of a viper, coiled tight and ready to strike.

“Oh boy are you going to regret this Tassi-ass.”

Tassiter sputtered at the crude nickname, but couldn’t say anymore as Jack stormed away.

Rhys sucked in a breath as Jack came stomping toward him. He backed up and gave Jack a wide berth. In doing so he curled into himself, trying to seem as non-threatening as possible.

“Out of my way.” Jack hissed through clenched teeth as he passed the now quivering Rhys.

Rhys sucked in a shaky breath and straightened. He felt and heard his back crack and winced. He didn’t fully understand what had happened between the two men, but Rhys could sympathize with Jack. His internship was stressful enough as it was, and adding his shitty paycheck only added financial stress on him. He was just lucky that Hyperion had housing available for its workers otherwise he’d be boned. He was also grateful for the roommate he was paired with.  

“Oh shit, Vaughn!” Rhys’s back went stiff as a rod before he began to sprint down the hall. He was late! “I’ll treat to apologize.” Rhys thought as he reached the cafeteria.

He avoided finger guns from strangers and walked over to the little restaurant Vaughn and he had agreed to meet at.

“Rhys!” Vaughn waved as he saw the lanky man break the restaurant boundary. “What took you so long buddy?”

Rhys chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck, “Sorry man, I got distracted on my way down.” he shuffled over to the booth Vaughn had snagged, sat down and opened the menu.

“I already got that.” Vaughn rolled his eyes, “What did you get distracted by? I’m curious. It made you almost fifteen minutes late. You tend to be more punctual.”

Rhys shook his head. “I saw a guy arguing with Tassiter.”

“Woah, what?”

“I know right?” Rhys leaned forward and set his menu down. “It was crazy. They were arguing over wages. But you should have heard the way the guy - Jack I think - spoke to the CEO of Hyperion.”

Vaughn’s brows furrowed, “How did he talk to Tassiter?”

“He was swearing up a storm! He called Tassiter Tassi-ass!” Rhys spoke in an excited faux whisper. His lips were split into a wide grin that exposed his blue band braces.

“I can’t believe he wasn’t fired on the spot.”

“I mean he seemed confident in his abilities, so maybe Tassiter couldn’t really fire him without it being even worse than it already is?”

“Maybe” Vaughn brought a hand to his chin in thought. “But man, what I wouldn’t give to shake his hand.”

“I know right? He was fucking brave.”

“Aw man.” Vaughn groaned

Rhys quirked a brow at his friend “What?”

Vaughn dropped his head into his hands, “I can already see the stars forming in your eyes.”

“What are you talking about Vaughn?” Rhys grumbled. His face crumpled a bit as he pouted.

“You’re talking super psyched about this guy you saw for like what, five minutes?” Vaughn paused before he groaned.

“What?” Rhys snipped

“You’re gonna stalk him aren’t you?”

Rhys sputtered, “What the Hell Bro? Why would you think that?”

“That’s what happened with Stacey, remember?”

“I didn’t stalk her.”

“Yeah, finding every little fact about her isn’t stalking.”

“I wanted to be a good boyfriend!” Rhys protested.

“You guys weren’t even dating yet.”

Rhys’s mouth shut with a clink.

“That’s what I thought.”

There was silence between the two men. They placed their orders and after the waitress walked away Rhys spoke again.

“I’m gonna go back to the office, ok? I’ll see you at home.”

“See you, Bro. Try not to stalk your crush too bad!” Vaughn teased.

Rhys growled and shook his head. “Yeah, whatever asshole.”

***

   Over the next couple of weeks, Rhys continuously stumbled upon Jack. It wasn’t like he purposely would look for Jack and then like watch him from a distance or anything. No, it was purely by chance, no matter what Vaughn said.

   Anyways, Rhys could continue to run into Jack - though not literally and Rhys would just keep an eye on Jack. He found that the old man was trying to get a higher position in his programming and hacking sector and that he really hated Tassiter. Not that Rhys could blame the man after hearing their squabble.

   Rhys decided that after a month of seeing Jack on and off, he wanted to do something. Nothing too big, but his infatuation grew as he watched Jack fight for his position and see how incompetent those under him were.

He never actually spoke with Jack even though he would have loved to. But he never actually worked up the nerve to do so. Instead, Rhys had a plan.

He was going to bake and give Jack a cupcake. It shouldn’t be too hard for him. It was just a miniature cake in a paper wrapping. He was smart. He should be able to bake a cupcake no problem.

***

There was a problem. Rhys didn’t take into account that he might actually be bad at baking and need to call in reinforcements. That being Vaughn who stumbled upon his mess in the kitchen of their tiny dorm, housing area.

“H-hey Vaughn...” Rhys chuckled, and futilely tried to hide the mess with his body.

Vaughn quirked a brow and looked at Rhys with disappointment evident on his face. “Why am I not surprised? I take it this is for Jack?”

“W-what made you think that?”

Vaughn starred Rhys down and shook his head. “I’m not going to even try to fight you on this.”

“I’m sorry about the mess Bro, I’ll clean it up -”

“Oh yeah, you will.” Vaughn crossed his arms over his chest and began to walk into the danger zone. “You’ll clean this mess up all on your own, but I’m gonna help you actually make whatever it is you’re trying to make for your boyfriend.”

“He’s not my boyfriend -”

“I’m ignoring your protests, Buddy, now what were you trying to make?”

“A cupcake...”

He looked at Rhys, his brow quirked once again, “You made this huge mess for a… Cupcake?”

“Yes?” Rhys squeaked.

Vaughn sighed and rubbed his forehead and walked over to their cupboard and pulled out an extra apron. “Help me clear out space so we can make your boy a cupcake.”

Rhys let out a happy cry and clasped his friend’s hands in his own. “Thank you, Vaughn!”

“Yeah, yeah. Let's get this over with.”

***

Perfection.

Well, not actual perfection, but as close as the two combined forces could get. Though it would likely have been better if Vaughn made it himself, Rhys wanted to help.

They had placed the finished cupcake on a plate and put it on top of the refrigerator so Rhys wouldn’t get flour or anything on it while he cleaned. He knew he couldn’t give Jack the cupcake today, but he was going to aim for tomorrow.

Since he ran into Jack so often he got a basic feel for where he was during the week so hopefully, he could find the older man to give him his sweet treat.

It thankfully didn’t take him too long to find Jack and in a sense corner him. Not literally, but enough so that he could offer the man the cupcake he an Vaughn slaved over.

“E-excuse me, Jack, sir?” Rhys called out, cupcake in hand as he sped walked down the hallway.

Jack turned around at the call of his name with his brows furrowed. “What do you want Kid?” He sounded irritated like he just got out of a verbal fight and he wanted to punch something.

Rhys gulped and held out the cupcake. “Um, I uh, made this for you sir.”

Jack’s brows shot up to his hairline as he stared at Rhys. “Did you poison it?”

Rhys was pretty sure that was meant to be a joke, but he had been wrong before.

“Um, no?” He flushed, his hands trembled and he felt his arms burn a little - he didn’t have much upper body strength. “I just, I don’t mean to sound creepy or anything, but like I’ve run into you for awhile and I noticed you didn’t smile a lot and seems cranky a lot and so I thought maybe I could make something to cheer you up?” Rhys was word vomiting his thoughts, “And like I really look up to you? I’ve noticed your work and work ethic and just thought that you deserve something nice after dealing with Tassiter.”

Jack stared at Rhys and rubbed his face after a minute of looking at the younger man. “You know kiddo, you said you don’t want to sound creepy but that is exactly what you sound like.”

Rhys held his breath at Jack’s statement. “I um...”

Jack rolled his eyes. “I get what you mean kiddo.” A grin crossed his face, “You’re infatuated with me. I understand I am pretty great. Though I still don’t know if I should take that cupcake.”

“Um, please at least try it!” Rhys brought the sweet closer to Jack and hoped that he would take it. “My friend and I worked really hard on it. I know it doesn’t look the best but we didn’t poison it or anything!”

Jack propped an arm on his hip and sighed. “Fine kid, I’ll eat your thing, but if I get sick from it I’m suing your ass.”

Rhys frantically nodded his head in understanding and couldn’t fight the grin that crossed his face when Jack took the cupcake from his hands. “I hope it tastes ok.” his face flushed red as Jack examined the pastry.

Jack looked up at Rhys and back at the cupcake before he sighed and peeled some of the wrapper back and took a bite. Rhys kept his eyes trained on his hands as Jack swallowed the bit of cupcake.

“Is it bad?” He asked. A light sweat forming on his brow.

Jack rocked his head from side to side. “It’s not bad.” he shrugged again before he took another bite. “You said you made this to make me feel better?”

His face felt like it was on fire, “I mean, I know you and Tassiter aren’t on good terms cause I stumbled upon you two arguing and I thought you like deserved something nice?”

Jack’s face softened a bit as he looked at Rhys. The skinny young man squirmed under the stare of his, not necessarily idol, but the person he looked up too.

“That was really sweet of you kiddo.” He winked at the pun which caused Rhys to sputter.

“I-”

“I do appreciate the thought kid. Not many code monkey assholes would try something so… Pure-hearted.”

“I’m not trying anything!”

“I didn’t mean it like that kid. I just meant in general. It was nice of you. Though I never got your name.”

“Oh… Um, It’s Rhys.”

“Reese?”

“Rhys.” Said man frowned at the mispronunciation of his name.

“Sorry. Never heard someone named that before.”

“Well you know what they say,” Rhys mock puffed out his chest, “I am pretty unique.”

“More like just pretty.”

Rhys whipped his head around to look at Jack. “What?”

Jack smirked and leaned closer to Rhys, “I called you pretty. Is that a problem?”

Rhys flushed further as if that was even possible and stuttered, “W-what? N-no. T-that’s not a problem.” His intonation at the end of his sentence sounded more like a question than a statement.

Jack’s grin grew as he leaned even closer. “That’s what I like to hear.” He brings his fingers up under Rhys’s chin and tilts it up. Rhys bites his lip and gulps loudly. Rhys could feel the heat travel down his neck and to his shoulders and that heat spread other places too as Jack broke his personal space bubble and planted a chaste kiss on his face. Jack pulled back, a Cheshire grin on his face and waved a hand in farewell, “See you around, Cupcake.” with a turn on his heel Jack winked at Rhys and walked away.

He left Rhys frozen. Unable to fully comprehend what just happened.

“I-I-I-” His brain felt like it was short-circuiting. “I need to tell Vaughn. Holy shit! I need to tell Vaughn that worked!” Rhys curled forward and ran shaky hands over his face and through his hair. “Jesus Christ!” on fawn like legs, Rhys turned around in his spot and raced back home where he knew Vaughn would be.

He couldn’t believe what just happened, but boy he couldn't wait to see what came next.

[ddaddsprompts]

The dads at a fall fair? Doing stuff like pumpkin picking, hay rides, and haunted houses?

“Hay ride!” You hear Amanda scream in your ear as a large bed of hay approaches, and quickly all of the other kids are just as enthused. The sun is setting after a long day at the fair, and what would be a better time to take a nice ride than now? The driver seems surprised at the amount of kids and adults alike squeezing themselves in, but you’re glad that everyone is here. You love being able to bond with all the dads in the cul-de-sac. 

The ride is anything but quiet, but it still manages to be calming, the cool breeze and the falling leaves making you feel in the spirit of autumn. Light conversation is travelling, but for the most part everyone is relaxed and no one looks angry at anyone, so that’s very good. The air has you day dreaming, probably looking like a weirdo, recounting the events of the day.

Damien 💐 and Hugo 🧀🍷 - “You aren’t going to let go of my hands, correct?” Damien is clutching onto both yours and Hugo’s hands very tightly as you walk towards the haunted house at the center of the fair. You heard that it was advertised as ‘the scariest haunted house in Maple Bay’ but you see it fit to keep your mouth shut in this situation. Damien is already losing all color in his face.

Hugo has an eyebrow raised and looks mildly concerned, stopping all forward motion and giving Damien’s hand a tight squeeze. “We’re both holding on, Damien, couldn’t let go if we wanted to.” Damien’s mouth opens as if to ask why they stopped walking, but the only thing that comes out is a small defeated noise when he hears someone scream. “You could cut off the circulation to our hands somewhere else, Dames, we don’t have to go in the haunted house.”

“Yeah, we don’t want to force you into anything, we can go-” Damien cuts you off with a ‘shush’ and continues pulling the three of you towards the offending haunted house with a burst of determination. You aren’t sure that it’s the best idea, but you aren’t about to crush his hopes and dreams. His steps get noticeably slower as you get closer, but he still gets himself to the entrance. 

(Getting through the place whole different ballpark. And a lot of screaming. Damien screamed especially loudly when a fake bat touched his shoulder, and you distinctly remember Hugo trying to stop giggling. You also remember Lucien sitting at the exit with Ernest by his side, both of them laughing and going on about how they could hear Damien screaming from outside)

Robert 🔪 and Joseph ⛵ -“Hey, y/n!” While you’re wondering around and trying to find something to do while Amanda runs off with her friends, Joseph calls you over to the pumpkin patch where he’s standing, holding a bunch of medium sized pumpkins in his hands. “Come help me pick out pumpkins for the kids!” He waves you over and accidentally drops a pumpkin in the process, watching the stem break off before he slowly backs away from it.

You laugh quietly as you jog up to him, watching him study the two pumpkins left in his hands. “Awe, you’re getting some for the kids to carve for Halloween?” You start looking over the large expanse of pumpkins, all different shapes and sizes. There are some especially huge ones over by the stand where you pay, and you try to imagine how many pounds of pumpkins guts you would have to scoop out of one of those suckers.

Joseph picks up another pumpkin that he’s taken the time to inspect and almost drops it again, this time making sure not to make the same mistake. “Carve? Heavens no, the twins are 8, them with knife would be a disaster, have you seen what they can so with scissors?” He chuckles and thanks you as you take one of the pumpkins from him. “I might have them paint the pumpkins, that would be fun, right?”

At that moment, Robert walks by with a large pumpkin under his arm, keeping his distance, but laughing loud enough to gain attention. “Painting pumpkins? This is why your kids don’t think you’re cool, Christiansen.” Joseph tenses up a little, but he turns around and gives Robert a smile. “But hell, I wouldn’t let those kids near sharp objects either.” Robert takes a sip of the drink in his hand, not alcohol for once, and nods.

(In the end, things go smoother than you expected. Joseph does accidentally say “Rob” once, and you can feel Robert nearly growl back until Joseph corrects himself, but but that’s the extent of hostility. You’re almost proud of yourself for starting a civilized conversation. You remember Robert inviting you to help him carve pumpkins and Joseph inviting you to help out with a few fall activities at the church. The pumpkins bring people together.)

Craig ⚾ -“Y/n, look at this cow!” Craig looks amazed as a cow licks his arm, his twins running around inside the petting zoo and rushing to feed the animals. He reaches in slightly to pet the cow and River laughs when it licks her face. Craig backs up slightly and intently waits for you to pet the cow. 

You laugh, but reach your hand in carefully, giggling even more when the cow licks and tickles your arm. Hazel holds her hand out and is extremely amused as a sheep eats from her palm. You remember petting zoos, what magical places. Especially as a kid. Being surrounded by sweet, kind animals felt so fun! “This a weird cow, I like it.”

Your daughter turns a corner to see you and Craig and is immediately running for the petting zoo, wallet in hand. “A petting zoo? Dad, you should have called me!” Amanda runs over and sees a tiny pony, her horse-phase instincts kicking in as she pays to feed the miniature pony a carrot. Briar giggles as she almost gets knocked on her butt by an alpaca. 

“The kids really love petting zoos, huh?” Craig nods and holds River’s hand out to pet a baby goat, grinning as he does so. He’s so in his element with his kids. He even lets them buy more food to give to all the animals.Amanda looks at ease with another carrot in her hand to feed the pony.

“This place is awesome, bro!” Craig his daughter enjoy themselves as he pets the cow some more. You’re sad to know once the girls are done you’ll have to leave this cow so that you don’t look weird.

(Hazel almost got away with sneaking a lamb out of the pen, but she was put to a stop. Craig tells you to meet him later after he take the girls to find ice cream)

Brain 🐟 and Mat 🎸♩ - “They have the best funnel cake here, and I am not willing to miss it.” Mat is holding as cup of coffee while he searches for funnel cake, a man on a mission as you and Brian follow behind. Brian just laughs, eating some fries that you and him picked up on the way to Mat’s destination.

While Mat speed walks in front of you, you don’t want to bother him with conversation, but Brian notices you urge to speak. “You know, fair food is great, but did you know some places literally deep fry butter?” You feel your stomach churn a little at the thought and take a sip of the water in your hand, hoping that you’ll never witness someone eat deep fried butter.

What would be the purpose? Wouldn’t that make everyone involved sick and waste a lot of butter? “Brian, please don’t tell me you have eaten deep fried butter.” Brian breaks out into a hearty laugh as you walk a little faster to catch up to Mat, who’s peering around a corner like he’s found something.

Mat shouts out ‘a-hah!’ before quickly shuttijg his mouth and staring at the ground, hoping that he hasn’t drawn any attention. “Oh, it was terrible, but someone told me I couldn’t do it, so of course I did!” You laugh and shake your head along with him when you see Mat tapping his toe in line, trying to avoid all eye contact and social interaction.

Brian walks up and whispers something to Mat before taking his place in line, and then Mat scurries back over to you, looking relieved. “He said he would order- sometimes he’s nice to have around- he’s never afraid to asl anyone for anything.” You nod, completely understanding how useful Brian’s boldness can be to someone with anxiety.

“Well fellas?” Brian walks over with a giant plate with an equally giant funnel cake, enough to feed a whole family. Maybe twice. He’s wearing a giant grin on his face. “Go big or go home, right?”

(You all got though about a third of the funnel cake before you couldn’t take anymore, you even begun pawning it off to any of the other dads you saw while walking. Your stomach sure was full for the day, and you remember Mat going back to ask for a recipe for the Coffee Spoon so he could make funnel cake for special occasions.)

The cool breeze hits you in just the right way as the hay ride stops, and you grin at the sound of everyone smiling and laughing. “So what do you guys think, one more time around on the hay ride?” Almost all of the other dads are grinning back, ready to tell some embarrassing kid stories on their way back around.

-Mod Arin

[thatonehiddenbladeingibraltar]

BABYWATCH BABYWATCH BAY BEE WATCH!!

Make #Babywatch a thing @Blizzard

Gonna do a small story before moving onto specific details (headcanons under the cut)

How someone managed to survive taking care of more than one child was a question Ana Amari often thought of when she tucked Fareeha to bed. It seemed like a nuisance to have babies hanging off your limbs, screaming their lungs off while smacking their toys against God knows what. Unfortunately, that was the situation that Ana found herself in on the battlefield as a dying Talon agent activated a device that emitted multiple rays as she gave the agent a swift shot between their eyes.

‘Better than a slow, ruthless death.’ she thought before disabling the machine with a bullet after checking the area for any potential surviving members that could be affected by the sudden gunshot.

Just as Ana finished storing the device in a pocket, a wail attracted her attention along with the sound of angry babbling. She silently crept towards the source of the commotion only to find what seemed to be two one year olds that looked eerily like Jack and Gabe smacking each other with miniature versions of their weapons and yelling at each other in gibberish. The strangest thing was that they seemed to burst into laughter every few seconds as if they forgot that they were enemies while they continued to smash their guns at full force towards the head or body. A blue blur suddenly dashes by them and attaches itself to Ana’s leg as the woman looked down to see someone that looked like Tracer grinning widely, showing off a few pearly baby teeth.

“Up, up, up!” She begged as she pulled on Ana’s pant leg until the older woman picked her up as she continued to survey her surroundings. A younger Reinhardt and Torbjörn smacked on a crate with mini hammers while two babies that appeared to be the Shimada brothers kept trying to get their dragons to beat each other in a small contained battle. A tiny cowboy hat whizzed by as minuscule bullets were repeatedly fired from a small silver revolver at a tiny Widowmaker and Sombra while a small Mei slid down from a slide made of ice with Symmetra and Lucio following closely. A blonde toddler with a caduceus stick that appeared to be Angela jogged around, zapping Zarya and D.va while Zenyatta (surprisingly unaffected) floating behind in an attempt to keep as many toddlers safe from D.va’s tiny mech and Zarya’s cannon.

“Mama!” A recognizable voice calls out and Ana turns to see a two year old Fareeha walking towards her shakily before catching her daughter and scooping her into her other arm.

“This is going to be fun.” Ana sighs as she watches her daughter try to push a stray lock of hair away from her eyes while Lena began poking at Fareeha’s cheeks.

Jack Morrison/Soldier: 76:

He’s one of the easier babies to take care of. Unless he’s next to Gabe

The two are inseparable and it nearly brings Ana to tears

She and Winston make sure that the two of them are sleeping in the same room, if not in the same crib

Even though the two fight in the makeshift playroom, they always found a way to make up in very unique ways

One time Ana and Winston caught Jack hand Gabe his favorite nesting block as a peace offering before they settled in for the night

Gabe didn’t say anything except that he hugged them before Ana had to break up their little moment

Jack still wears a miniature version of his trademark 76 jacket everyday, even when he’s asleep

If anything, baby Jack reminds Ana and Winston of the old Jack Morrison. The harsh, but caring Strike Commander of Overwatch who still believed that the world was worth saving, even if he died in the process

Of course, a mild version of Strike Commander Jack Morrison. He was a baby after all

Ana remarks to Winston one day as he’s fixing the Talon device that Jack looked less stressed after a single night of sleep

She even found him passed out in a nest of stuffed animals that the other babies and toddlers have left

Always accepts the food and drinks that Ana always gives him, no protests ever

In all honesty, Ana would be heartbroken to see Jack returned to normal, but she understands that all good things have to come to end. Besides, Jack isn’t the only person she would be upset to see as an adult again.

Gabriel Reyes/Reaper:

Somehow, the machine managed to reverse whatever happened to Gabriel in Switzerland

It’s slightly disorienting to see Reaper with a non-corporeal form instead of his usual wraith characteristics

Zenyatta actually helps calm Gabe down when his temper when Ana isn’t around

The behavior shift becomes apparent when it takes him longer to notice that his food isn’t in front of his face at an exact time

Bonus points for Zenyatta since he’s the one who generally deals with Gabe’s diaper

Ana definitely takes the opportunity to snap a few pics, just to remember what Gabe used to look like as a baby

He has definitely played with his claws and scratched himself by accident multiple times

Enough times for Ana to convince Zenyatta to find the highest point on base and leave it there until Gabe’s reversed back to Reaper

Even then, she might just leave it there, simply because she can

There’s a part of Ana that wants to keep Gabe as a baby forever so she doesn’t have to remember that he became one of Overwatch’s top priority targets

If she had to choose between Jack and Gabe to reverse, it would’ve been Jack

Jack wasn’t too far gone, but Gabe? Gabriel Reyes was on a completely different level post-Switzerland

Out of all of the babies/toddlers, Gabe wasn’t easy to take care of

Temperamental, prone to tantrums and the like

Unless of course Jack or Ana were nearby

Him and Jack were attached to the hip at every point of the day, even in bed

If Gabe wasn’t in a crib nearby, he would cry until he was either sleeping in the same crib as Jack or he was in a crib nearby

Don’t ask how he knows if he’s close to Jack, he just knows

He gets on well with baby McCree

Well if getting along well means being McCree’s moving target

Toys, the occasional book, food

This weird goop that toddler Angela may have pulled out of a cabinet from the infirmary

Anything really

Every time McCree does this, Gabe only needs to glare and McCree backs down

Only for a few hours, though. The toddler’s relentless

Gabe and Genji have this silent affection for each other

Anyone can tell that Gabe’s a bit confused at the sight of Genji, but he gets over himself

Besides Pharah, Gabe’s the one that gets a load of bedtime treatment from Ana

She can’t help it, who can resist baby Gabe’s pouty face?

Lena Oxton/Tracer:

It’s almost impossible to keep Tracer in one spot for more than a second

One second she may be playing with a stuffed animal, the next she’s stacking a discarded pile of nesting blocks that Sombra tossed aside

Lena loves chasing Widowmaker around and it’s the most hilarious thing Ana and Winston have seen, aside from McCree trying to sneak attack Hanzo only to get two dragons carrying him to god knows where on base

Toddler Lena, much like adult Lena, loved to be with Winston

If she wasn’t in the playroom that Ana set up, she was at Winston’s side, playing with something she managed to pick up in his lab

Winston may or may not have accidentally gotten little Lena addicted to peanut butter

He swears it was an accident, even as he discreetly hands another jar to the toddler

Seeing Tracer with a tiny chronal accelerator was one of the most adorable, yet terrifying things Ana had to witness

She could blink into the middle of the ocean and no one would even know

Thankfully that hasn’t happened yet

But just in case, Ana asks Winston to modify it so that Lena couldn’t blink anywhere off-base

Lena will eat everything and anything

Same thing goes for drinks

She fidgets as she falls asleep

Even in her sleep, she’s always tossing and turning

It isn’t anything malicious, Lena always has to be moving

Better that she fidgets than get no sleep at all

Lena sometimes babbles for ‘Emily’ and asks where ‘Emily’ is when Ana walks into the room

Ana has absolutely no clue who Emily is until Winston whispers the answer to her

After Winston informs her, she scoops her up and tells her that Emily will be arriving very soon if she behaved

You can bet your top dollar that Ana immediately calls up Emily and jettisons her to the base just so she can take care of Tracer

When Emily finds her girlfriend as a toddler, she wants to laugh, but settles for snapping a few pictures

Reinhardt and Torbjörn:

You thought Jack and Gabe were inseparable? Think again

These two just seem to be the literal incarnation of the hammer bros from Mario

They literally run around smashing the floor with their tiny hammers and it actually isn’t as annoying as anyone may think it is

If it isn’t the floor, it’s the legs of various cribs

Ana and Zenyatta decide to let them run around in a little outdoor area just so they would stop destroying the cribs

Sometimes they smack each other with their hammers, but do they cry about it? Nope

If anything, they just take it in stride

Meals with these two are always fun

Mainly because it’s a good practice of your dodging reflexes

At least that’s what Ana discovered when she tried spoon-feeding them

Now she knows to keep her distance whenever they need food

Winston’s a puke magnet for these two

For some apparent reason that Ana, Zenyatta or Winston can’t seem to figure out

The first thing Winston’s doing with the Talon device is turning Reinhardt and Torbjörn back to their adult bodies because if he gets puked on one more time, he’s going to lose it

Genji:

Okay first off, baby Genji is the most adorable baby you’ll ever see

No lie, every time he gives you a gummy smile, your heart will melt almost instantly

One of the most happiest babies that could ever exist honestly

Even though Ana hadn’t known Genji very well before the fall, Zenyatta does give her little tidbits of his life before Overwatch

Anytime Ana looks at Genji before she leaves the nursery immediately makes her wonder what life for him would’ve been if the Shimada clan hadn’t sent his brother to murder him

Speaking of Hanzo, the two tiny Shimada bros got along well

The two of them brought out their dragons frequently to play with them or use them as a makeshift bed

At night, the noodle dragons would just curl up against both brothers

The dragons seemed perfectly alright with it

If anything, they were just confused that their masters were tiny once more

The only disorienting thing for Zenyatta out of all this was seeing Genji playing with Hanzo

He knows what happened between the two, so seeing them run around like they were the best of friends was strange at first

Somehow, the Talon machine did the same thing to Genji as it did to Gabe

In all honesty, Zenyatta was shocked to see Genji without his cybernetics and have actual flesh and bone in lieu of his armor

Genji did have this weird habit of smashing the new rattle on Hanzo’s arm or leg, which made both Zenyatta and Ana slightly concerned, but when Hanzo cracked a smile, their worries managed to fade away

If Genji started crying, Hanzo would be at his side to comfort him until an adult could arrive

The kids absolutely loved playing with Genji’s dragon, especially when it gave them free rides on its back around the base

In the morning, Ana and/or Zenyatta hated waking up the younger Shimada brother just because he always seemed to be more at peace when he was sleeping

Happy Genji=A much happier day overall

Hanzo:

Hanzo was the only person in the Overwatch team that hadn’t been transformed into one or two year old

Instead he was now the oldest of the entire baby/toddler group at age five

Wonder what that says about him

Since Zenyatta mostly took care of Genji, he also became Hanzo’s main caretaker by de facto

Surprisingly, Hanzo doesn’t have much of an objection to it

He and Zenyatta are alright with it which relieves Ana and Winston to no end

Sometimes, Ana and Zenyatta let Hanzo hold baby Genji before they make sure all of the kids are asleep

Babbles Japanese when he’s awake or asleep

Athena helpfully translates what Hanzo’s saying when he spews a coherent amount of words with the archer looking at the AI curiously

If Hanzo isn’t around his little brother, McCree’s at his side, trying to annoy him

Noodle dragon burrito blanket. Enough said

Since he’s older, Ana and Winston let Hanzo play with his miniature bow and arrow more often than the other children

Because we all know what happens when you give Reinhardt and Torbjörn their hammers

Even though all three caretakers don’t know the archer well previously, they’re glad that they got to know Hanzo before they transformed him back into an adult

Jesse McCree:

It’s almost impossible to pry tiny Peacekeeper from his fingers when Ana gets off the dropship

She already has to keep tiny Widowmaker from murdering Tracer and make sure that Sombra doesn’t pull any tricks on the ship itself

Ana could sleep easier if she didn’t have to deal with McCree trying to shoot anything with an actual revolver with live bullets that are minuscule enough for Winston to say that anyone would need to use a microscopic lens if any of the bullets ever lodged itself into a target

McCree still has a tiny cowboy hat, even when he goes to sleep

The minute he gets out of his crib, he immediately searches either food, a drink or a spare rattle so he can pretend that he still has Peacekeeper with him

It was honestly such a captivating sight for Ana 

Only a while ago, she was helping a young McCree settle into Overwatch and Blackwatch

She even remembered helping him settle down after a particulary harsh reprimand from Gabe and introduced him to Fareeha in an attempt to find a way to calm down in the future

Needless to say, the two of them got along extremely well

Always babbling to one of the children, especially Pharah or Hanzo

He can’t go to sleep unless he has both his cowboy hat and a rattle. Otherwise, be prepared for a screaming baby until both of those wishes are fulfilled

Zenyatta generally stays out of McCree’s way since both Shimada brothers often take up most of his time, but when McCree’s with Hanzo, expect Zenyatta to persuade baby McCree into a short nap just for him to quiet down for a few precious hours

It doesn’t always happen, but when it does, it seems like even Zenyatta himself looks a bit younger

A very charming baby truth be told

One of the more popular babies, but he definitely enjoy a bit of time to himself

Baby McCree loves messing with Gabe a lot

Ana reasons that it’s his revenge for all the times he was scolded by the man

Honestly it’s the only reason that’s plausible enough for Ana to believe

Widowmaker and Sombra:

Whether Widow likes it or not, she and Sombra are attached at the hip

Where one goes, so does the other

Ana knows that Sombra’s the one behind Tracer’s malfunctioning chronal accelerator at the end of the day, especially since the two year old could be seen smirking as Lena tried her best to not fade out of existence for a one year old

It eventually becomes enough for Winston and Ana to find a way to disable Sombra’s hacking ability while she’s asleep

When they do, they finally relax, knowing that they have one less thing to worry about for now

Even though Widowmaker doesn’t have her machine gun anymore, she still has her recon visor on her

This proves to be extremely helpful when trying figuring out what lunch and dinner were going to be for the kids

She doesn’t talk too much, mostly to Sombra and occasionally Gabe

Widow deliberately avoids Jack and Angela, knowing deep down that she would be in trouble if she were in close proximity to those two

Ana keeps a closer eye on both Widowmaker and Sombra

Even though they’re only four and two, you’d be surprised as to how much chaos they could stir up in one day

Symmetra/Satya Vaswani, Lúcio and D.va:

Those three are the Golden Trio of Overwatch (second generation of course)

They remind Ana and Winston so much of the early days of Overwatch when it was her with Jack and Gabe

Out of the three, Symmetra enjoys being with Ana the most

She’s often sitting in a portable high chair next to Ana as she bustles around the kitchen, preparing a group meal

If Jack and Gabe get into one of their ‘fights’, the three of them tackle the two friends before anything serious could happen

And by tackle, I mean shoving stuffed animals in their faces as a distraction before dragging them to opposite sides of the room until they’ve both calmed down

Mama Ana’s so proud

Lúcio and D.va are often in mini competitions (who can build the hightest tower, who has the best toy, etc.) with Symmetra

Especially when Ana lets them play on child-friendly mobile apps

The competitions steep almost immediately

Thank God it doesn’t escalate to Jack and Gabe levels

Symmetra loves making new instruments for Lúcio when she sees them from a story that Ana or Zenyatta reads to them at night

You can hear Lúcio rocking out to them the next morning

Their beds are all in a single row next to each other

It makes it easier for Ana to put them to sleep since they all fall asleep at the same time

Mei, Zarya, Angela Ziegler/Mercy:

Baby Angela’s always right behind either Mei or Zarya while the two mess with their now tiny weapons

A golden beam’s always engulfing the two at various points of the day just so the things that get thrown at them doesn’t ache as much

Those two are just targets for the other kids for some reason

Yes, Angela has healed various others before. No, Ana doesn’t know about it yet

Yet

Mei loves freezing various toys that she and Zarya agree to getting rid of before Zarya sends it flying across the room and the two watch it smash in an icy cascade against the wall

Yes, this has happened many times. Yes, Ana knows about it

Is she gonna do anything about it? Probably not

As long as no one’s injured and no one gets upset, she’s alright with it

Zarya loves annoying Genji and will gleefully try and outrun his dragon if she manages to annoy him

It’s a challenge for herself to see how many times she can push his buttons every day

Sometimes Zarya has to deal with three dragons if Hanzo catches her in the act

Angela’s always there with her mini caduceus staff at the ready to patch up any wounds

Pharah/Fareeha Amari:

Out of all of the babies Ana could feel the most nostalgia for, it would be Pharah

She still had vivid memories bringing her home from the hospital after giving birth to her

Ana takes care of Fareeha the most since she knew what her daughter would want the most

Pharah’s taste haven’t changed since she was a child, but there are a few changes there

She prefers having a lullaby sung to her in Arabic instead of English (when it was the opposite in the past), her sleep schedule’s slightly different and she does have a bit more difficulty falling asleep

Fareeha still enjoyed baby McCree’s company and sometimes spent time with Emily and baby Lena

When Ana picked her up for bed, sometimes she might find a tiny braid Emily gave her when she was playing with Tracer’s hair

Ana may be older, but that doesn’t mean she couldn’t handle a baby strapped to her chest

Winston doesn’t question it when baby Pharah bounces in her baby carrier

Ana even brings out former methods to get her daughter to eat when she’s a bit fussy, which surprises her a bit, but what can you expect from a baby? They lived on a completely separate level from everyone else

Seeing the glee on Fareeha’s face instantly washes away the stress from Ana’s life, just like it did all those years ago

Especially when she giggles. Good Lord, Ana loves hearing her daughter giggle

Tagging: @chesswatchesclouds @thepandadrawer @thekittenships (please tell me if you don’t want to be tagged) @templarboyband @elise-the-assassin