#brinker x leper

[sadrockandwaltzes]

A Separate Falls

asp(bo?) x Gravity falls crossover idea/spoilers

at boarding school still, but the two (Gene as Dipper and Finny as Mabel) explore the supernatural things around the school, and meet Bill Cipher. Bill reaches out to Gene after he tries to kill Finny, but there's reason to suspect he was helping push him to the verge of doing that from the sidelines. He makes a deal with Bill to keep him from telling Finny, but something something I dunno. Later Finny causes weirdmageddon by wishing that their school session wouldn't end/the war didn't exist, and ends up in his own little perfect world. Or, Gene makes the deal that he had never done that to Finny and that that summer had never ended, and in his dreamscape that Finny has to pull him out of, he is impersonating Finny. He wears his clothes, and everyone in his dream world calls him by that name. By the end of it Finny finally stops denying that Gene jounced the limb and Gene stops trying to drown in guilt. Maybe an adventure where Brinker calls on Bill to go into his head and find out the truth about his fall, Leper and Gene go with (for different reasons of course) Maybe the Suicide Society had more of a focus on something magical/supernatural

If it was aspbo... I just think it'd be cool to see those guys in it XD Wex would definitely be the one doing rituals to try to make a deal and grow powerful, but I feel like Tug would end up being the one to let him in while in his concussed state. Wex would also probably be trying to get in Eric's mind to figure out weaknesses.

[finny-propaganda]

i think we as a society need to talk about them more

[seniorloser]

Its been 1 year since I’ve gotten into asp.. WOW

[a-study-in-ginny-archive]

Song Fic #3: Let’s Hurt Tonight [Brinker Hadley/Leper Lepellier]

**First post with this ship. Based on this song*^

When we came home / Worn to the bones / I told myself, “This could get rough.” / And when, when I was off, which happened a lot / You came to me and said, "that's enough"

Brinker hesitantly approached his sleeping friend. Ever since the war had ended, he had made sure to visit him as often as possible.

“Hey, Lep, it’s me,” Brinker murmured, sitting beside him.

Oh, I know this love is pain / But we can’t cut it from these veins, no

Leper opened his eyes, blinking the sleep out of them. No matter how many times Brinker was there when he woke up, he was always surprised by it. Some part of him - no matter how much he pretended that part didn’t exist - always expected that one day, Brinker would forget about him.

He was just some boy that everyone said went mad - why would Brinker care about Leper half as much as Leper cared about him?

So I’ll hit the lights and you’ll lock the doors

Brinker noticed with a bit of distaste how dark the shadows under Leper’s eyes had gotten.

“I shouldn’t have woken you,” Brinker sighed, a note of disappointment in himself. “It’s getting dark out anyway. I should probably go home - “ He went silent as Leper stood up and walked to the open bedroom door.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” Leper whispered. He closed the bedroom door and walked over to the window, slowly closing it. “Turn the lights out, please.” Brinker blinked in surprise at the strange request but complied, guessing it was another one of his friend’s - god, Brinker hated that word sometimes - stranger quirks.

We ain’t leaving this room ‘till we bust the mold

Leper took a seat beside Brinker and stayed silent for a long moment.

When he finally spoke, his voice was deadly calm.

“Being… being homosexual is illegal,” Leper said, his tone almost bitter.

“It’s always been like that,” Brinker said gently, not quite knowing where Leper was going with this.

Don’t walk away, don’t roll your eyes / They say love is pain, well, darling, let’s hurt tonight

“Not always. At one point, back in the middle ages, it was common. People didn’t think much of it. Now… did you know that men who were taken prisoner by the Germans got sent back to jail if they were gay?” Leper rambled, his eyes wide.

“Oh…” Brinker exhaled softly.

“They said I was crazy,” Leper laughed quietly.

“You aren’t crazy - “

“I’m in love with you, so I must be.”

When you came home / Worn to the bones / I told myself, “This could get rough”

Leper didn’t remember much else about that evening. In all honesty, Brinker didn’t either. Leper remembered the fact that Brinker kissed him, but past that… he wasn’t really sure. He woke early the next morning with Brinker’s possessive arms around him.

“Good morning,” Brinker mumbled, keeping his eyes closed. Leper was the first to break the peaceful silence that settled around them.

“We’ll be in trouble if people find out,” Leper said, burying his face in Brinker’s chest. “I don’t… I never meant to get anyone in trouble.”

“All you and Gene and Finny did was drag me into trouble,” he replied, laughing with no humor in his voice.

“You’re as crazy as I am.”

I know you’re feeling insane / Tell me something that I can explain

“You’re not crazy, Lepellier,” Brinker retorted, closing his eyes. Leper got up, gathering his clothes and getting dressed.

“You don’t know the things I saw,” Leper said, trembling as if the temperature in the room had dropped. Maybe it had - they both felt cold all over.

“They were visions, Lep, they weren’t real - “

“You don’t know the things I saw,” he whispered forcefully, an undercurrent of aggression in his normally passive voice.

“I don’t understand.”

“You never understand what you can’t see,” Leper said, wheeling to face Brinker. “You think that if it can’t be measured, can’t been seen by everyone, can’t be felt, that it doesn’t exist.”

“Some things have to be taken on faith-“

“Which you don’t have. I remember how you’d look during church at school. You don’t have an ounce of faith in you,” Leper accused. Brinker stood, head held high and glasses slightly askew. His hair was messy and his eyes were soft, almost pitying.

Leper didn’t want pity. He wanted someone - anyone - to have faith in him. He glared at Brinker, glared at the marks he’d left on the base of the taller boy’s throat and felt like he’d been condemned by both.

He’d fallen in love with someone so bitterly out of his reach and he despised it. He loathed that no one believed him, loathed that no one took him seriously.

I’ll hit the lights and you’ll lock the doors / Tell me all of the things you couldn’t before

“I loved you since that day freshman year,” Leper admitted, staring out the window. “That day we went on a walk and found the beaver dam. It was before you were so serious. It was before you started treating me like a piece of glass.”

Brinker frowned, remembering exactly what Leper was referring to.

It had been the day before school let out, and Leper had dragged Brinker along on his nature walk.

Clear as day, Brinker could remember the crooked grin on Leper’s face when they found the animals.

“I love you,” Brinker said quietly. “I didn’t yet, not then, but I do and I have since the night you enlisted.”

Don’t walk away, don’t roll your eyes / They say love is pain, well, darling, let’s hurt tonight / If love is pain, well, darling, let’s hurt tonight

“We’re going to spend the rest of our lives hiding,” Leper growled, clenching his fists. “You’d think there’d be something we could do, something we could…”

“I’m moving to California,” Brinker said, staring into space. “I’ve heard a lot of good things about San Francisco. They’re accepting of people like… us.”

“California?” Leper echoed.

“We can get a little apartment in the city and…” Brinker trailed off, sighing deeply. “If it’s ever allowed… We can get married.”

Leper smiled, a warm feeling of affection sweeping through his body.

“Someday,” Leper murmured. “It’ll happen. We’ll see it.”

-Mod X (Mod A has a few stories that should be up within the next couple days.)

[enragedbisexual]

i apologize 2 all my followers who came here 4 marvel & were instead jus bombarded by abt 1000 a separate peace posts but i mean what can i say this gay emo bitch is back on her bullshit

[fruity-mercenary]

(Characters Aren’t mine- they belong to John Knowels)

Angel Au- Where Finny Comes Back

Story: Finny comes back and he gathers his friends and they run away all around the U.S so they won’t get caught by the evil creatures and Angel hunters that are after Finny for escaping from Heaven to see Gene again

(Yes This is Gene x Finny but its also Brinker x Leper cus thats really cute) my art may suck but i still want to do this so please ask away thank you i hope you like my character designs for the characters

Gene: Nervous boy, artist and has glasses when he needs to read/study

Finny: Same old finny lmao

Brinker: protector

Leper: really neevous boi

[a-study-in-ginny-archive]

Leper: He ruined Finny's leg!

Gene: I did n A U G H T t! Brinker send him to the principal's office and have him E X p e l L e d!

Brinker: You're in my trial! Not the other way around! I know everything! And you know nothing! At the end of the trial, both of you report to the principal's office... WITH YOUR PARENTS!

[a-study-in-ginny-archive]

Nightmares

It wasn’t the pacing that woke Brinker up, it was the soft crash of someone knocking into the foot of his bed.

He shot up, blinking into the darkness.

“Hello?” he asked, his voice raspy from sleep.

“Go back to sleep, Brink, it’s just me,” Leper’s voice murmured.

“Lep? What’s going on?” he asked, rubbing his eyes.

“I had a bad dream. Go back to bed,” Leper replied, his voice forced into a casual tone.

“What was the bad dream about?” Brinker asked, fully awake now. He reached into the darkness, gesturing his friend closer. “Talk to me. What’s going on?” Leper hesitated and shook his head.

“Doesn’t matter.” Brinker fumbled for a minute, then caught his friend’s hand.

“Don’t do that. Don’t freeze up on me. Come on, Leper, I’ll listen.”

A long sigh sounded out.

“I dream of things that happen when I enlisted. I dream that…” his voice cracked. “That none of my friends are my friends anymore. That you’re gone. That’s why I came in here, I… I needed to check to make sure you were alright.” Brinker’s expression softened.

“I’m not going anywhere, Leper,” Brinker promised quietly.

In the two years since the pair had gotten out of the military and moved in together, how long had these dreams gone on? Leper couldn’t say for sure.

“Why?”

The plaintive tone startled Brinker more than the question.

“What do you mean?”

“Why are you here? After school, you could’ve…” Leper fumbled for the correct words. “You could’ve gotten married or moved just about anywhere or gone to college but you’re here, in a small apartment with me.”

Brinker laughed under his breath.

“Where else could I possibly want to be, Lep?” Brinker asked. Even in the darkness, Brinker could tell that Leper shrugged.

“Because I love you, you raging idiot,” Brinker scoffed. “Come over here and go to sleep.”

“You love me?” Leper’s soft voice asked. Brinker - in his usual impatient way - tugged him closer.

“Of course I do,” he rolled his eyes. Leper smiled, laying down. It was the peaceful silence and the steady sound of Brinker’s breath that slowly lulled him back to sleep.

-Mod X

[a-study-in-ginny-archive]

Stolen Jackets

“Hey, Lep, have you seen my - “ Brinker paused, turning to look at his boyfriend. “Is that mine?” Leper blinked, looking down at the jacket that went almost to his knees.

“No. This is mine,” Leper replied. Brinker stared at him for a long moment before sighing.

“You bought a jacket. Exactly like mine. That’s about three sizes too big for you?” Brinker asked. Leper seemed to think for a moment and then nodded.

“Yes. That’s in style now.” Brinker looked taken aback, but nodded.

“Next time you want to wear my things, just ask,” he muttered, grabbing his other sweater. “Let’s go.”

[a-study-in-ginny-archive]

Song Fic #4: A Drop In The Ocean [Brinker/Leper]

A drop in the ocean / A change in the weather / I was praying that you and me might end up together

Brinker stared absently out the train window. Ever since the graduation, he’d felt vaguely empty. The entire time he packed his things, he still half expected Leper to walk in and start fussing over everything.

But that was wrong. Leper was gone - ever since he’d gotten back from training, he’d refused to see anyone.

It’s like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert / But I’m holding you closer than most / ‘Cause you are my heaven

He’d visited him. Once. Leper had yelled at him to leave, to go away, that he hated him.

Against his better judgement, Brinker had ran out.

I don’t wanna waste the weekend / If you don’t love me / Pretend / A few more hours / Till it’s time to go

Brinker had fiercely held onto the memories he had of Leper - perfect, sane, naturalist Leper.

The night before he left for the ski troops was the longest in Brinker’s memory. The two had stayed awake, nervously talking about what things would be like now.

Leper had sworn to write, and Brinker had promised that he’d make sure the others didn’t forget him.

And as my train rolls down the east coast / I wonder how you keep warm / It’s too late to cry / Too broken to move on

The letters never came.

And still I can’t let you be / Most nights I hardly sleep / Don’t take what you don’t need from me

The train stopped, jolting Brinker out of his thoughts.

“Last stop before entering Vermont,” the conductor announced. Brinker hesitated. He’d reached an impasse - keep going or exit.

It’s just a drop in the ocean / A change in the weather / I was praying that you and me might end up together

Brinker stood, gathering his things. He paused on the door to the train platform, causing the person behind him to bump into him.

He hesitated a moment too long, then stepped off the train. Brinker stood on the quickly emptying platform, watching the train set off on the tracks.

It’s like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert / But I’m holding you closer than most / ‘Cause you are my heaven

Brinker slowly followed the rest of the crowd off the platform, staring at his boots as he walked. He silently prayed to be anywhere, anyone else in the world.

Misplaced trust and old friends / Never counting regrets / By the grace of God, I do not rest at all

Brinker tugged at the sleeve of his jacket, anxiously looking for the recruiter. He was supposed to meet the rest of the people he was training with here.

Maybe he’d missed it. He probably spent too long watching the train -

And New England as the leaves change / The last excuse that I’ll claim / I was a boy who loved a woman like a little girl

Brinker walked back to the platform, ignoring the curious stares of people around him. When the next train arrived, he boarded and ignored everyone around him.

And still I can’t let you be / Most nights I hardly sleep / Don’t take what you don’t need from me

Brinker kept a protective hand inside the pocket of his jacket. He still wrote to Leper, but never quite gathered the courage to send them.

Maybe it was time he did.

A drop in the ocean / A change in the weather / I was praying that you and me might end up together

“Entering Vermont!” the conductor announced. Brinker sat up straighter, a growing feeling of excitement in his stomach.

When the train pulled into the station nearly an hour later, he had to restrain himself from running off.

It’s like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert / But I’m holding you closer than most / ‘Cause you are my-

Brinker stood at the end of the driveway, a bit anxious as he stared at the house.

Heaven doesn’t seem far away anymore, no, no / Heaven doesn’t seem far away anymore / Heaven doesn’t seem far away, oh, no / Heaven doesn’t seem far away

Brinker quietly knocked, half hoping that no one would answer but knowing that someone would.

A young woman answered, giving Brinker a pleasant smile.

“Can I help you?” she asked.

“I’m here for Lep - uh, Elwin. Elwin Lepellier. Is he here?” Brinker asked. She frowned.

“Lepellier?” she echoed. “Sir, they owned this house before us. My family’s been living here for around six months now.”

A drop in the ocean / A change in the weather / I was praying that you and me might end up together / It’s like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert / But I’m holding you closer than most….

Brinker opened his mouth to question her, but she just shook her head.

“I don’t know where they moved to, I’m sorry, sir. I wish you the best of luck, though,” she said, stepping back inside.

Brinker watched the door close, a feeling of numbness seeping through him.

Cause you are my heaven...

-Mod X

[seniorloser]

I ship leper and Brinker now

Question!!! Do people ship Brinker and Leper? I don’t really, but I’m interested in people who do. I’m genuinely curious, how did this ship come up and what’s your view on it??

[a-study-in-ginny-archive]

A Separate Peace Playlist [Brinker/Leper]

1. “Somebody Else”, The 1975

I don’t want your body but I hate to think about you with somebody else

2. “Never Change”, Picture This

I think it’s time that I tell you how I feel; This is how I feel

3. “Pieces”, Rob Thomas

Didn’t I tell you you were gonna break down? Didn’t I want you? Everybody wants you...

4. “Young and Beautiful”, Lana Del Ray

Will you still love me when I got nothing but my aching soul?

5. “Someday”, Rob Thomas

I don’t wanna wait; I just wanna known; I just wanna hear you tell me so; Give it to me straight; Tell it to me slow

6. “Bottom”, McCafferty

Hey man, I miss your collarbones; I know the way your skin feels on my collarbones

7. “Overjoyed”, Matchbox 20

That smile on your face, like summer; The way that your hand keeps touching mine; Let me be the one to make it right

8. “Hold On Forever”, Rob Thomas

And we both know everything but we can’t learn to leave; So I’ll tell you what you need

9. “Let’s Hurt Tonight”, OneRepublic

They say love is pain, well darling, let’s hurt tonight

10. “The Scientist”, Coldplay

Nobody said it was easy; oh, it‘s such a shame for us to part

11. “A Drop In The Ocean”, Ron Pope

I was praying that you and I might end up together

[a-study-in-ginny-archive]

Brinker Hadley x Leper Lepellier

“Sometimes I’m terrified of my heart; of its constant hunger for whatever it wants. The way it stops and starts.” ~Edgar Allen Poe

[a-study-in-ginny-archive]

Masterlist

“Phineas”, John Knowles

One Shots:

Protecting Innocence (Gene/Finny) [Fluff]

Coin box Confession (Gene/Finny) [Fluff]

Enlisted Heart (Gene/Finny) [Angst]

Gene’s Birthday (Gene/Finny) [Fluff]

Unrequited (Gene/Finny) [Angst]

View (Gene/Finny) [NSFW]

Blitzball (Gene/Finny) [NSFW]

The Opposite of What You’d Expect (Gene/Quackenbush) [Fluff]

Symptoms (Leper/Brinker) [Fluff] 

Song Fics:

Tell The World I’m Coming Home (Gene/Finny) [Fluff]

Happier (Gene/Finny) [Angst]

Let’s Hurt Tonight (Leper/Brinker) [Fluff]

Intoxicated I Love You (Leper/Brinker) [Angst]

A Drop In The Ocean (Leper/Brinker) [Angst]

Ficlets:

“Who says it has to end?” (Gene/Finny)

Stolen Jackets (Brinker/Leper)

Nightmares (Brinker/Leper)

Fall (Gene/Finny)

Ocean (Gene/Finny)

Jazz Concert (Gene/Finny)

Living (Gene/Finny)

Playlists:

Gene/Finny Romance Playlist

Gene’s Teen Angst Playlist

Leper Lepellier Character Playlist

Leper/Brinker Playlist

AUs:

Pride Parade AU (Gene/Finny) [Fluff]

A Pride Worth Celebrating

Spy AU (Gene/Finny) [Angst]

40 Minutes

Supernatural AU (Gene/Finny) [Angst]

Distant Angel

Corpse Bride AU (Gene/Finny) [Fluff]

Wedding Vows

Halloween AU (Gene/Finny) [Fluff]

A Halloween Incident

Childhood AU [Fluff]

A Day With A Friend

Post-WWII/Modern Day AU [Angst]

Faded Memories

Hanahaki AU (Gene/Finny) [Angst]

Flowers of Love

Christmas AU (Gene/Finny) [Fluff]

Christmas Conundrums

Transgender AU (Platonic!Gene/Finny) [Fluff/Minor Angst]

Not A Girl

Flower Shop AU (Gene/Finny) [Fluff/Angst]

Blooming Hearts

AU Series:

Throne of Glass AU:

Cast

Part One

Stories:

Pell The Photographer

Part One

Midnight Forest

Midnight Forest Vibes

Midnight Forest Vibes 2

Midnight Forest Vibes 3

Midnight Forest Vibes 4

Midnight Forest Vibes 5

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Part Five

Part Six

Part Seven

Part Eight

Part Nine

Part Ten

Thieves’ Magic

Part One

Part Two

Hamilton

Helpless

Say No To This

Hope

The Reynolds Pamphlet

Burn

Congratulations

The World Was Wide Enough

Haunting

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Organized Destruction

Prequel

Part One

Part Two

Love On The Web

Part One

Part Two

Poetry/Art/Posts That Reminds Us Of ASP:

“Lovers”

“It Hurts”

“Poetry In Person”

“Life Without You”

“Meeting You”

“Chasing Tails”

“Is This Moving On?”

“Love Scares Me”

“I Want To Know...”

“I Hope...”

“Love Someone Who...”

“Go To Sleep Knowing...”

“Listen, Man...”

“Atonement, 2007″

“In The Mood For Love”

“People Like Us”

“Responsibility”

“I Wrote You A Letter In Black Ink”

“I’m In Love With You”

“Pretend”

“It’s Good To Be Kind”

“Travel”

“Roses And Jasmine”

“The World Is...”

“Constellations”

“Of Course I Miss You”

GriffinDraws

“You Always Knew It Was Love?”

“Perfectionist”

“Sober”

“Hope It’s Nice Where You Are”

Beach Photos

1

“Gene and Finny Are Gay And Here’s Why”, A Series

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

11

12

13

14

15

Modern Gene/Finny Headcanons:

1: Antique Stores

2: Photography

3: Hair Dye

General Headcanons:

Music

Phases

Brinker/Leper

Sexual Orientations

Gender Expression/Identity

Chet Douglass

A Separate Peace Theories:

1: Gene’s Family

Extended

2: Brinker Hadley

Extended

Jealousy

3: A Separate Peace Analysis

Analysis by @rianes

4: Finny

Finny and Faling by @ephemeralsense​

Popularity

Our Aesthetics:

40 Minutes

Depression (Brinker Hadley)

Post-Fall (Phineas Pell)

‘I Love You’ (Gene Forrester/Phineas Pell)

Mods’ Aesthetic (Mod A & Mod X)

‘You Are Very Important To Me’ (Brinker/Leper)

Dreamer Extraordinaire (Elwin Lepellier)

Loneliness (Brinker Hadley)

Beat It, Nerd! (Cliff Quackenbush)

‘If I Had A Mind Like Yours’ (Phineas Pell)

Valentine’s Day (Gene/Finny)

Naturalist (Elwin Lepellier)

Punk (Gene/Brinker)

The View (Gene/Finny)

Aesthetics We’ve Reblogged:

“Everything I Do Is Wrong”

“The Poets Are...”

“It Was A Courageous Thing To Say”

Literature Posters/Wallpapers

The Super Secret Suicide Society of The Dead Poets

Slytherin Moodboard

“Taking Aim”

“Something Deadly”

Blue Moodboard

Prompt Lists:

One

Two

Three

AU Prompts:

Heartbreak Prompt

How We Met Prompts

Superhero Prompt (Sort Of)

Writing Resources:

Sketchy Topics

Body Language

General Stuff

Barely Funny Memes/Shitposts

Phineas Fell

The Tree Near The Devon River

Party Gays

Contradictions

Cards Against Humanity

Ties For Belts

As An Artist...

Pink Shirts

Sitting In A Tree

Urban Dictionary

Pigeons

Valentines Day Cards

A Brief PowerPoint

Badminton

More Ties For Belts

Gay Forest

Difference In Personalities

Oh Thank God

Fanfiction

IMDB

ASP + Text Posts

Miscellaneous:

 Leper and School

Stuff We Noticed

The Mock Trial

Our AO3

Passive-Aggressive Thoughts While Watching ASP

[a-study-in-ginny-archive]

Distant Angel

**This is based off of season 5 of Supernatural and this song: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cfnKvwdgFmE

Does this story make sense at all? Nope, and that’s why we write them.**

Gene paced the outside of Brinker’s house, every so often, glancing up at the sky. Finally, he cleared his throat and looked straight up.

“Hey, Finny,” Gene said softly. “I’m sure you’ve heard me calling. You’ve gotta be a thousand miles away but I know you’re listening. Somehow, anyway.” When he looked back at the house, Brinker was pouring over some book and Leper was staring out of the kitchen window at him. Gene lifted a hand in a small wave, causing Leper to mouth Finny?

Gene shrugged, walking away from the house.

“They call us Team Free Will, Finny, but I’m sure you know that,” Gene chuckled dryly. “You always seemed to know everything, don’t you?” Gene’s expression darkened and he shook his head.

“What’s free will’s point if I’m not free?” Gene asked bitterly. “You’ve trapped me, Finny.” When there was no answer, Gene sighed. “I love you.”

He stood in silence for a while, then his shoulders slumped in disappointment.

“Good talk, Phineas,” Gene murmured, turning to walk back to the house.

(Time Skip)

Gene solemnly watched as his friends puttered around the house, forcing themselves to celebrate. They had a plan to kill the devil and stop the apocalypse, likely with the deaths of a few of them thrown in.

Gene noticed how pointedly that Finny was avoiding eye contact with him, and decided to approach.

“You know, all things fall apart,” Gene noted, downing his glass. “It’s unavoidable.”

“It happens,” Finny murmured smoothly. “Cities rise and fall like art.”

“You’ve seen a lot of that over the years?” Gene asked.

“A lot more than I’d care to repeat,” Finny sighed. “You should get some sleep, Gene.”

“Finny, I need to tell you - “ He didn’t have time to finish. The angel had disappeared with the sound of flapping wings.

(Time Skip)

Out of everything that had happened, Gene was surprised by how hurt he was. He didn’t care for Quackenbush, not at all, but there was still a dull ache of guilt.

Chet was Gene’s friend, his adversary, his playful competition. His death pulled at Gene’s heart, caused soft whispers of doubt to whirl through his mind.

Your fault, your fault, they viciously tore into his psyche.

One night, after waking from a nightmare, Gene climbed out of the window and onto the porch room just below it.

“Finny,” Gene croaked out, squeezing his eyes shut in the hopes that it would get rid of the fire that flashed in the darkness of his mind. “For years we hung onto this rope. I think we’re just choking on it now.”

Silence, just as he had expected but had not wanted to face.

“Finny, it’s been way, way too long,” Gene whispered through the lump in his throat. “For once, just… just play along. I need to know you’re okay. I need to know that we’ll be okay.”

Gene’s prayers went silent long enough for him to gaze at the stars.

Where could Finny be? The angel - the beautiful, beautiful angel that Gene had fallen so hard for - was banished from heaven and it was Gene’s fault.

“If every time I prayed, things would get better, I’d never do anything else,” Gene swore.

(Time Skip)

Over the next several nights, that became Gene’s nightly routine - when the nightmares woke him up, he’d stand outside his window and pray.

“Why won’t you answer me?” Gene asked inaudibly. “Please just answer me.”

Finally, Gene broke, lashing out at a glass bottle that had been abandoned on the porch roof. He grabbed it and flung it into the darkness, filled with anger and sadness.

“Our friends are trying to be strong, Finny!” Gene yelled at the sky. “Look at their faces! You think they wanted it this way?” All of his energy dropped out of him at once and he collapsed, hugging his knees to his chest.

“Finny, things are getting rough,” Gene whimpered, the strain of not crying making it hard to speak. “The hope we had isn’t enough. Tomorrow, no one’s gonna be the same.” Gene allowed himself five minutes to cry, then forced himself to calm down.

“Finny, I… You’re really far away,” Gene began. “And now I know, for sure, anyway, that you’re not listening. I… I still need you, but I understand. I wouldn’t want to see me either. I’m setting you free, Finny. I love you.”

After a silent moment, Gene gave up and crawled back into bed.

Gene never knew that Finny watched in silence. He never knew that Finny wanted to go to him.

He didn’t hear Finny whisper, “I love you too, my hunter,” and disappear into the night air.

-Mod X

[a-study-in-ginny-archive]

Faded Memories

**Based on this song: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=OSnR8fJP-2M

The 14 year old boy reluctantly shifted boxes around, wondering why there were so many in the attic anyway.

He knocked one over and sighed when he saw the contents has spilled. As he gathered them together, he squinted at the photographs.

A group of four young men. One with jet black hair and a nervous look in his eyes, one with light coloured eyes and a wild grin, another with hair that wasn’t quite light enough to be blond and not dark enough to be black and a reserved smile.

The fourth looked exactly like him - maybe several years older. Same curly hair, same amused expression.

“Jason? You alright up there?” a voice asked him. The boy nodded, turning around as he picked up the box.

The back of the photograph has four names: Leper Lepellier, Finny Pell, Gene Forrester, and Brinker Hadley.

“Grandpa? This is you,” Jason said, holding out the box as he perched at the edge of the ladder.

The old man - same curled hair, but now white, same glasses that sit slightly askew, same small smile.

“I see you found a box of my things,” Brinker said softly. “Come on down, you can look at them.”

Jason eagerly climbed down, following his grandfather to the kitchen where they sat at the table.

“These old pictures are cool,” Jason whispered incredulously. “Tell me some stories.”

Brinker considered for a moment.

“Was it like the old war movies?” the younger Hadley asked excitedly.

“An interesting question, that is,” Brinker murmured.

“Who were these guys? What’s that building in the background?” Jason asked, tracing the outline of the Devon School with his fingertip.

“The best damned friends I’ve ever had,” Brinker chuckled. “That was my school. That boy, the nervous-looking one, he was my roommate.”

“Where are they now?” Jason asked, then stopped. Brinker’s face had fallen.

“All three of them are gone now,” Brinker said, smiling sadly. “Gene and Phineas, permanently. Elwin might as well be.”

“Did they go to war?” Jason asked softly. Brinker laughed with no humor and shook his head.

“Finny, there’s a story there. He fell out of a tree this summer, and he couldn’t walk without a cane after that. We all thought Gene pushed him, so we set up a... a trial one night. Finny got mad at us and tried running out, but he fell down the stairs,” he explained quietly.

“He didn’t make it,” the younger one said, more of a statement than a question.

“No, he didn’t. Elwin, that one... He was something eccentric. We called him Leper because he avoided everyone. Would’ve thought he had leprosy from the way people avoided him,” Brinker sighed. “He was a bit older than us, so he enlisted to be in the ski troops - did you know about that? - but he just... went a bit crazy. No one could help him. I went to visit him every day.”

“But you realized he couldn’t be helped,” Jason guessed.

“No,” Brinker muttered. “He couldn’t.” He smiled vaguely, his thoughts still on the boy that had been the love of his life during their time at Devon.

“What about Gene?” Jason pressed.

“Gene? Oh, that story’s different. Him and I enlisted at the same time. He never went into the war, really. He was still training when it ended. After he got home, he was in a car accident.”

“He died then.” It was a statement, not a question.

“He did.”

The two sat in silence for a long time before Jason spoke up.

“Leper was your best friend, wasn’t he? There’s more photos of you and him than the others.”

Brinker smiled a bit bitterly.

“Things were different back then. I couldn’t have been with him even though I wanted to,” Brinker sighed, leaving the photos on the table.

“You were - “

“People call it bisexual nowadays,” Brinker nodded. “Your mother’s calling you. You better see what she wants.”

Jason reluctantly stood, leaving behind the image of his grandfather, staring out the window with a photograph in his hands.

-Mod X