#brilliant butterfly module | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

interlunium-opus · 4 years ago

Text

No Place I’d Rather Be. [ Jay ]

[ Jay | fluff ]

Abstract: when you went to the library on the night when the Triennial Winter Ball was held, you expected to be all alone. But Jay, your best friend and the campus heartthrob is somehow already there waiting for you.

You stared out of the corridors of windows as you ascended up the staircase of the desolated library, your eyes fixated on the bustling crowd outside. It was the night the Triennial Winter Ball was held: basically the night everyone looked forward to the moment they started university. Unlike how dark, drab and quiet winter nights in campus usually are — tonight, the campus was alight with festive lights lining up the path leading up to the grand hall and students filtering in, decked in their “Sunday best”, filling the otherwise quiet night with cacophony of laughters, chatters, and whispers.

Standing in contrast with the crowd outside was you, all alone in the dimly-lit library, decked in monochrome with books in hand instead clinking glasses and waltzing with others in an elegant dress. You sighed as you thought to yourself, who am I kidding, my introverted soul wouldn’t last a minute in there.

“You’re late today.”

You jumped, startled, dropping some of the books you were carrying. Given the context of tonight, no one should have been in the library right now. Especially not the campus heartthrob and the social butterfly, Jay Park.

“Jay?” You called out, squinting your eyes to get a clearer view of the tall figure at the end of the aisle. The dim-lighting were of no help at all but the blonde locks and the deep voice were a massive giveaway, “wait..what are you doing here?!”

“You look petrified to see your own best friend, it’s almost heartbreaking,” Jay muttered sarcastically as he made his way towards you before reaching down to pick up the books you had dropped.

“Well, duh, no one should be here tonight especially not you,” you retorted as you walked towards your usual seat at the corner, the one with the large windows and dimmest lighting, “people are going to think that you got kidnapped or something and oh God, the amount of hearts you’re breaking tonight with your no-show.”

“Well, what’s your excuse?” Jay raised an eyebrow at you.

“Jay, we have been best friends for almost 2 years now, you know why I am not there — I would just combust,” you said as a matter-of-factly as you took a seat.

“But it’s our final year, you’ve got to make it count — socially I mean. And come on, it’s the Triennial Winter Ball not some frat party,” he grumbled as he sat on the armrest of the chair next to you with his body facing you and arms folded. Being a massive extrovert with a lifestyle that tends toward opulence — tonight’s extravagance was right up his alley and all month long he had been endlessly badgering you to attend it. Being the massive introvert you are though, the ball is basically the last thing you would want to attend.

That said, as incredulous as the friendship between the two of you are to many people, you two are polar opposites that complement one another in a way that two differently-shaped puzzle pieces can only fit one another. Being a social butterfly, your individualism, rationality and brilliant intellect really stood in stark contrast with the homogenous crowd and superficial conversations that he constantly surround himself with. With an equally subtle sarcastic dark humor to match, a tenacity like no others and a brilliant intellect that constantly challenge and stimulates his mind — you’re like an oasis in the desert.

Likewise, Jay, too, was like a breath of fresh air to you. You have had some initial reservations about him though. After all, he was more known for his lavish lifestyle and the parties he throw. But beyond those such fronts, Jay was highly knowledgable with strong passion for what he believes in — qualities of which really matched yours. Not to mention, being pragmatic and rational himself, he was one of the rare few people in your life that you don’t need to put up a social filter for as he is always able to objectively understand your views and opinions.

That is how you two end up going from being touted as the “cursed” pairing that was doomed to fail when you two were first paired for a project in “Modern Political Thought” module, to the Dream Team that ended up trouncing everyone else’s project, attaining the highest score out of everyone in class. In fact, you two just keep on surprising everyone by becoming almost inseparable even after the module ended.

“Who’s to say a couple of drinks isn’t going to turn a ball into a frat party?” You shot him an incredulous look before turning your attention to the books you were flipping, “… exam is around the corner anyway.”

“1.5 months away,” he emphasized as he lowered his head down to your level, peeking over your shoulders to take a closer look at your notes, “Seriously? you’re skipping tonight’s extravagance and festivities for Multivariate Functions and Lagrangian? I’d have let it slide if you were working on a prose instead.”

“Well what’s your excuse for being here then? I’m pretty sur-“ you stopped mid-sentence, caught off guard by how close his face actually was to yours when you looked up to face him. Jay’s face as usual was unperturbed, his blonde locks softly framed his chiseled face and his lips was pouty in concentration as his eyes travelled from one end of your notebook to the other before he turned his face slightly and met your gaze. You swore for a moment you felt your heart skip a beat but the moment one corner of his lips lifted into his signature lopsided grin, that thought immediately disappeared as you knew he was going to say something sarcastic or dramatic.

“How can I be so selfish and party away when my best friend is all sad and depressed alone in this library?”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes, “Jay, as if-”

“Also,” he suddenly interjected, “the girl that I asked out for tonight rejected me so….”

“Wait, what?!” You gasped, “The Jay Park got rejected?”

“I know right. She rejected an offer that millions would have killed for,” he shrugged as he straightened back up.

“Exactly! who in their right mind would- anyway, at the risk of sounding insensitive, couldn’t you have substituted her with other girls? Like you said, millions would have killed to be your date — you can just pick and choose.”

“Wow, ____, you really have ice in your veins don’t you?” he smirked.

“Whatever, just being rational.”

“I know. I definitely could. I mean the head cheerleader asked me out too so I could have just accepted it,” he murmured, “but...” he paused, “as cringeworthy as this sounds, 80% of the reason why I really looked forward to the ball was because I was looking forward to spending it with the girl who rejected me. So without her in the picture, the whole vision just suddenly lost its spark. Like… I’d rather just spend time with her then whether it is at a ball or library or wherever.”

“Oh…” you managed, unsure how to react, “that’s kind of… deep I guess. Well yeah, I mean if you still don’t feel bitter over her rejecting you then sure, you do you, go after her. Unless of course she’s at the ball with someone else then maybe not…”

Instead of responding promptly as he usually does, Jay just heaved a huge sigh as if he was disappointed or something. His eyes glued onto yours as if trying to pry some information out of your mind, “You know you’re awfully dense. Have you ever thought that maybe you’re too studious that it’s beginning to cost you your social skills or something?”

Jay has always been blunt but tonight, it was just on a different level. It was almost like he was here to intentionally grate you as if someone was actually keeping score. You retorted, “Excuse me. Did you just come all the way here to push my buttons? Because yo-“

You stopped mid-sentence again when he suddenly leaned closer towards you, his hands on either side of you, one on the edge of your table and the other, gripping your headrest, “I am already with her right now.”

You furrowed your brows in confusion, your mind working on overdrive.

“Fine,” he uttered, ”let me spell it out for you — you’re the girl. You’re the one who rejected me. Twice.”

You opened your mouth to tell him to stop joking but his unperturbed facial expressions told you otherwise. Still in disbelief, you stammered, “No way — Me? When?! I mean we talked about the ball a couple of times but you’ve never… unless - wait… you were serious?”

You remembered it was a Saturday night, about 2 weeks ago at almost 4 AM when you and Jay was at the library burning the midnight oil. You were busy trying to finish up your Econometrics assignment while Jay, who had long given up with his Philosophy assignment, was engrossed in a movie marathon next to you.

“Ugh,” you groaned when your regression results turned ‘insignificant’. You turned your attention to the papers and books strewn across your desk, frantically flipping through the pages to see where the error could have been and how else can you rectify this.

“You need to sleep on it,” Jay murmured, casting worried glances at you, “You’ve been on it for hours.”

“I can’t,” you shook your head, your eyes scanning over your messy handwriting, “I’ll end up obsessing about it again at home so I definitely need to get to the bottom of this today, that’s the only way I can sleep.”

Jay sighed, pausing his movie and turning his attention fully towards you, “Fine. But you really need to reward yourself for working so hard this semester because otherwise, you’ll just burn out. Also, by reward, I did not mean hibernating.”

“Hmm,” you nodded absentmindedly when suddenly Jay snatched the pen you were using, “Hey ___ eyes on the person talking please. What did I just say?”

You rolled you eyes, relenting, “Something about rewarding myself and not hibernating — there, happy? Can I get my pen back?”

“Good,” Jay beamed, quickly pulling his hand away when you were about to snatch your pen back from his grasp, “The Triennial Winter Ball would be a good idea of a reward by the way.”

You scoffed, “Jay, that is probably your idea of a reward but it definitely won’t be mine. First, I’ve got to look all made up from top to bottom — that takes up too much resources for something an introvert like me possibly won’t even enjoy — that’s the equivalent of some floppy investment prospects right there.

“Secondly, I avoid crowds like the plague whenever I could help it and the ball has all the variables that could make me combust on spot: there are a lot people; a lot of emotions; a lot of expectations and — well, you get the picture.

“And finally, I would need to find someone to go with — again, too much trouble.“

“You have me, where’s the trouble in that?” he asserted, snatching your pencil case away this time when you were about to reach for it, “Just go with me then.”

“Yeah no that’s ridiculous,” you shook your head, stretching your hand out to him, beckoning him to give your stationaries back, “Stop playing, give me my stationaries back.”

Ignoring your demand, he pressed on, “Why is that so ridiculous?”

You sighed, “Because A) everyone wants a piece of you so B) I’d be burnt at stake if we do go together. And also C) You should spend that special night with a special someone, not your best friend — come on, Jay, you need to work on your prioritization skill.”

“Wait — that was meant to be it?” You shrieked as you recalled the memory, “I mean, it just rolls so casually in our conversation — I couldn’t have possibly picked it up as serious. Anyway, fine — when was the other time?”

“Just a few days ago when I was sending you home,” Jay replied as-a-matter-of-factly. Jay remembered skipping dance practice that night, earning an earful from the instructor the next day, just so that he can walk you home after your Students’ Union meeting with the president, Yang Jungwon.

“You’re really set on not going to the ball?” Jay asked for the umpteenth time and you nodded.

“What if I tell you that I know someone who is thinking of asking you out for the ball?” Jay prodded, stopping you in your tracks, “I’m serious.”

“Still no.”

“I have not even told you who he was,” Jay grumbled.

“Fine, entertain me,” you relented.

“Jungwon.”

“Jay stop messing around.”

“I told you I’m serious, geez,” Jay said exasperatedly.

“But why — what is that kid thinking…”

“I don’t know — maybe you should stop having some night meetings with him alone before it grows into a full-blown crush or something,” Jay shrugged before you smack him lightly on the arm. “Ouch!” he whined, “Anyway so? Will that be a yes or a no?”

“Of course no, Jungwon’s a definite no.”

“Well, I saved him from a heartbreak then,” Jay mumbled.

“Huh?” You stared at him.

“Nothing,” Jay quipped, smiling sheepishly. The truth was, one of the reason why he insisted to walk you home tonight was because he overheard Jungwon telling Heeseung this morning that he definitely would ask you out to the ball after the meeting, perhaps right after, perhaps while walking you home. Knowing that someone as upright as Jungwon was going to ask you out, Jay thought he should have been elated for this might mean that you will actually come to the ball. But somehow, like a broken record, the conversation kept on playing in his mind all day during his classes, accompanied with the 1001 likely scenarios of how you’d likely respond to him. By the time night has set in, all he knew was that he was dead set on not letting Jungwon ask you out to the ball, by hook or by crook. He did not fully comprehend why, perhaps he just did not like Jungwon, he thought. Or maybe, he didn’t like you with Jungwon together — or perhaps, he actually didn’t like you with any other guys. Fortunately by the time he had reached the Student Centre of the Campus, completely out of breath that is, he can see that you and Jungwon were still discussing the union project. Once the meeting ended, as indicated by Jungwon switching the projector off, Jay just barged in, announcing that he’ll take you home much to your suprise and to Jungwon’s dismay.

“Why not though?” Jay suddenly asked, “I mean accepting Jungwon? He’s like the textbook example of an ideal guy: cute, smart, upright, overachiever and whatnot”

“Well, my good friend has a crush on him for the longest time so that’s one big reason,” you explained, “also, we don’t even know each other that well on a personal level for me to say yes to.”

“Then would you go with me instead?” Jay suddenly grabbed onto your hand, stopping you in your tracks, “I mean, if you’re worried about having a good time, wouldn’t I be ideal then?”

For a moment, silence engulfed the two of you as you two stared into one another’s eyes. You opened your mouth to say something but immediately closed it, remembering how just this morning you overheard that the head cheerleader had asked Jay out, “Jay, just go with someone else more fitting okay? You don’t have to pity invite me or something, I’m fine. I heard the head cheerleader asked you out — isn’t that perfect? two campus heartthrobs together? You guys would be the talk of campus and the envy of many.”

Despite the praises, he could feel his heart sank. While it was not an explicit rejection, your nonchalance, for the second time, pricked him. Not one to be emotional, he plastered a smile as he slowly let your hand go, “Yeah, I guess.”

“Oh no, crap, I’m sorry Jay,” you sank in your seat as you stared at him in disbelief. No wonder, he looked so taken aback that night, you thought, and how cold he was the next day. “You know what, yeah I’m definitely dense — I think I traded my social skills for good grades. You can tease me with that all you want, I won’t even try to defend myself anymore.”

“Well, on the bright side, flirtations from others can’t get through to you — you’re like a fortress or something,” Jay chuckled, shaking his head.

“I’m sorry though really,” you bit your lip, apologetic, “What can I do to make it up to you? Oh you know what — that Michelin-starred restaurant that just opened up in the corner? How about I’ll treat you there for tomorrow? It’ll break my wallet but if it will unbreak what I’ve done to you -- I’d gladly commit to the splurge.”

“Oh come on, I’m not that materialistic,” Jay scoffed, “Do you mean it though, that you’ll do anything?”

“Absolutely,” you nodded, “Within moral and ethical bounds, that is.”

Suddenly Jay extended his hand towards you, beckoning you to take it.

“You’re not dragging me to the ball right now right?” you took his hand and he pulled you up to your feet, leading you towards a more spacious area, “We’re underdressed for it Jay. I mean look at me, I’m decked in monochrome -- I basically look like I’m mourning.”

He chuckled as he pulled out his AirPods case, taking out one and gently inserting it into your ear before inserting the other pair into his, “Don’t worry, there are no dress codes for our own private ball.”

Soft music started to play through the AirPods, it was “Best Part” by Daniel Caesar ft. H.E.R. “Just dance along with me alright? I don’t need to be splurged on,” Jay’s hand slowly snaked over your back, pulling you close to him as he carefully yet smoothly guide you to the melody of the music.

“Well, gotta warn you though,” you smiled sheepishly, “I’m bad at this so don’t sue me if I step on your Pradas.”

“Fine, exclusively for tonight, I’ll put my Pradas at risk,” he quipped, his eyes glued onto yours, “Say, if you had known that I was serious — would you have said ’yes’ to me?”

You looked up, meeting his warm gaze which somehow, perhaps due to the proximity, was making your heart skip a beat, “I think so? I mean, I hate crowds but you would usually make me forget that I was in one. Also, you’ve always said yes to all of my weird adventures so I always feel like I need to repay you back in-kind if the opportunity arises.”

Despite always trying to keep his composure in the face of any nerve-wrecking moment, Jay failed this time as he feel his smile widened while his heart raced uncontrollably. He couldn’t exactly pinpointed why: was it your sudden heart-fluttering words; was it the proximity; was it the the warmth that he could feel on both hands; was it the atmosphere; was it the fireworks that was starting to set off outside; or was it just you?

Suddenly, he thought in retrospect, he was glad that you had said “no” to him. He wouldn’t have traded the moment tonight, just you and him away from all the external noises, for a waltz in a crowded and noisy ballroom, even with all the glitz and glamour that it offers. In fact, tonight best represented what you meant to him, like that of an oasis in a desert, your presence alone is enough for him even if he has to search through the highs and lows for you -- it is just you who he’ll gravitate to eventually.

_______

Author’s note: first imagine wheee! Hope you guys like this one :3

#enhypen #enhypen imagines #enhypen jay #enhypen scenarios #enhypen jay imagines #enhypen jongseong #enhypen fluff #kpop imagines #enhypen drabbles

171 notes · View notes

llucythehumann · 6 years ago

Text

oh my god,,,

her

#i think ive just found a new favourite miku module #brilliant butterfly miku

0 notes

mikumoduleoftheday · 5 years ago

Note

I'm a Miku cosplayer and I really like the module for Ghost Rule, especially the make up. But as a curvy and self conscious lady I don't feel like the dress would suit me. Are there any modules of Miku that have cool make up or similar effects? The one from Sadistic Music Factory has a face tattoo I think? But then I'm in a similar situation with the dress.

I completely understand, I’m a big guy who used to do a lot of cosplaying in the past. I just wanted to kinda address a few things that have helped mebefore I give some alternate suggestions.

Cosplay shouldn’t make you feel uncomfortable, and you can always alter designs to fit you better and more comfortably. A longer hemline or using leggings instead thigh highs are easy ways to make outfits less revealing if you have similar concerns to what I have. Alternatively, fabric that matches your skintone can be a good way to do big cutouts youre not comfortable with in outfits, which is a technique used frequently by skaters and gymnasts. I think Ghost Rule’s simple black dress can look very flattering and I hope you aren’t dissuaded from a cosplay you’d really love because of your size.

That said, I know having back up ideas would probably help, so here a few suggestions that also have that dark design/neat makeup or hair/etc that are well known enough to be recognized at a convention (and keep in mind my previous alteration suggestions can be applied to these as well):

Infinity: https://mikumoduleoftheday.tumblr.com/post/157248415107/todays-miku-module-of-the-day-is

What’s Inside: https://mikumoduleoftheday.tumblr.com/post/190520979928/todays-miku-module-of-the-day-is-whats

Bandaged Heart: https://mikumoduleoftheday.tumblr.com/post/159277769601/todays-miku-module-of-the-day-is-bandaged-heart

Secret Police: https://mikumoduleoftheday.tumblr.com/post/179021885679/todays-miku-module-of-the-day-is-himitsu

Brilliant Butterfly: https://mikumoduleoftheday.tumblr.com/post/156004401361/todays-miku-module-of-the-day-is-brilliant

#dont think altering a design is just for big people either #my gf wore tights with her miku cosplay for modesty because shes very tall and skirts look super short on her #a friend of my has balance issues and has to go with flats instead of heels #cosplay is supposed to be fun not a competition #not a module #answers #mikumod #theme samplers

101 notes · View notes

theasstour · 6 years ago

Photo

0110. Larghetto elegico.

Wednesday, 8 April 2015

FIC PAGE | CHAPTER SYMPHONY | WORD COUNT: 8k

NB: explicit language, mentions of alcohol

All the doors in the flat were open. The one to the kitchen, the one leading upstairs and to the hallway, and every single one leading into every single room. Ian was using his speakers, blasting a Maroon 5 song and singing at the top of his lungs in the kitchen while everyone else were packing up their rooms. Y/N stood by her pinboard, taking the photos of her family, home, and friends down. She placed all of them into a folder along with her year 1 timetables, map of campus, and everything else that had helped her room seem a little more hers the time she lived there. Taking a step back, she studied her empty wall, sighing to herself as she felt a small lump form in her throat. Though she was happy to finally be moving out of Westbridge and into a house with her very good friends, she would miss it as well. This had been the first place she had managed to live on her own, her own space. She would never forget the yellow walls, the dodgy carpeted floors, and the creaky kitchen chairs.

Putting her throw over her beddings, Y/N placed one of her suitcases on her bed, opening it so she could start filling it up with all of her belongings. She opened her closet first, taking all of the clothes out that she wouldn’t need for the remaining of her time at Westbridge. Folding them neatly, she placed them one by one into the suitcase, humming along to the music and smiling as she heard Tiana and Finn’s laughters from down the corridor.

She remembered her first day at Westbridge, being so scared and feeling so far out of her comfort zone that it was impossible for her not to be constantly shaking because she was always on edge. She remembered always keeping her door locked and never socialising, and when she looked at her door now, wide open and all her flatmates milling about outside, Y/N suddenly felt very proud of herself. She had managed to come out of her introvert shell a little, feeling a little more comfortable around people she barely knew and even those she didn’t know at all. Never before had she been this as peace, not as on edge as she had always been before. Of course, she would always be anxious at all times to some degree, but now it had calmed down and it was easier for her to think clearly. Easier to give herself enough credit that she had genuine friends now that cared for her, or that in the end, everything would work out just fine. Because even though most of year 1 academically had kicked her ass, she had also found new ways to study to better herself, or new ways for her to focus better during lectures. Y/N was very ready for year 2 at Battersea, but she was also massively looking forward to summer break.

“How’s it going, hun?” Tiana asked as she walked into Y/N’s room, stepping over one of the already packed bags.

“Need to finish packing my clothes.” Y/N answered. “And then I’ll leave some for tomorrow as well. Meeting Teresa later so we can practise our set for Friday.”

“Oh yea!” Tiana sat down on the pillows at the top of Y/N’s bed, the little space left after her suitcase almost took up most of it. “You’re performing at The Junction on Friday!”

Y/N nodded, smiling at Tiana.

“Nervous about it?” Finn questioned, sitting down in the chair by Y/N’s desk.

“More nervous than I have been for anything ever.” Y/N said. “Afraid I’m going to make a right dimwit of myself while playing.”

“What are you talking about? Of course you won’t!” Tiana frowned at her flatmate. “You’re an amazing violinist.”

“You’ve never heard me play before.”

“Don’t need to hear you play to know you’re the best there is.” Tiana smiled. “What are you playing, by the way?”

“We’re going to start with Stubborn Love by The Lumineers.” Y/N said, getting more clothes out of her closet, putting those that were already folded into the suitcase right away. “And then Rather Be by Clean Bandit and-“

“-Did someone say Rather Be?” Ian asked, dancing into Y/N’s room with his speaker and phone in his hands. The song mentioned was playing and Spencer – walking behind Ian - shook his head as he almost tripped over the packed bag on the floor. Spencer sat down on the desk and Ian by the sink, turning the volume down at Finn’s request.

“We’ll all be there you on, Y/N.” Tiana reassured, smiling at Y/N who smiled back.

“I’m actually well excited about tomorrow.” Ian admitted. “Having a pint while chilling with my mates and my other mate is in charge of entertainment? Sound time.” He sighed, a slower song now playing from the speakers by his side. “It’ll be the last time the flat is properly hanging out together, won’t it? Neither Finn nor Y/N are coming back for exams in May as they don’t have any. Won’t ever chill out like this ever.”

“It’s going to be weird for sure.” Finn agreed. “Gotten so used to this shit hole now.”

“You’re all getting so sad for nothing.” Tiana rolled her eyes, watching as Y/N continued to pack her things. “We’ll hang out together again, just not as regularly.”

“I’ll have to take the trip from Cambridge,” Spencer said. “Won’t even live in London.”

“I cannot believe you’re dropping out.” Finn looked at Spencer to his left. “I mean, good for you, bruv, you know what you want and all that, but I just thought Business was right up your alley. You seem like the guy to.”

“Business is right up my alley, but I just didn’t like this specific course. Too broad, too modules things I didn’t care for. I’ll have to specify my course a little more when I apply for unis next year.” Spencer put one of his legs up on the desk, resting his arm on his knee. “It’s hard choosing a career path, especially at such a young age, you know what I mean?”

Everyone nodded and Y/N closed her suitcase, zipping it up before putting it on the floor and sitting down in her bed with Tiana.

“Feels kind of weird thinking about that I have to choose a job I’ll have to be working at for the rest of my life in the field I’m studying now.” Ian said, staring out into thin air as his mind wandered off somewhere else.

“Let’s not think about that now.” Tiana said, slapping her hands against her thighs. “Let’s chat about our first year at uni. It’s gone by so crazy fast.”

“Been bonkers.” Finn nodded, smiling a bit. “Met so many amazing people so fast, and still have three years to go. It’s bloody insane.”

“Uni has been challenging, and it’s going to get much worse as the years go by, I can only assume.” Tiana said, a smile slowly etching its way across her lips. “But so far it’s also been amazing. Think that’s why it’s gone so fast as well.”

“Any of you remember that first time we went to BOP together?” Spencer asked, groans emitting from everyone followed by laughter. “Disastrous.”

“Well, not really.” Ian chimed in, frowning.

“We weren’t even hanging together as a flat, which was the whole point of going in the first place.” Spencer frowned back.

Ian shrugged. “Snogged a well fit woman that I still don’t know the name of. A brilliant night for me.”

Y/N’s phone vibrated on her desk, making Spencer look down at it abruptly as it had clearly startled him a little. Making to get up out of bed to get it, Finn took the phone and gave it to Y/N, who smiled gratefully in return. The chatter was still going on around Y/N as she looked down at her illuminated screen. She smiled instantly. The butterflies deep inside her soul and tummy started fluttering their wings as they always did as the sight or sound of his name.

Harry A little bird whispered in my ear earlier today.

Y/N tried not to giggle and make it very obvious that she was texting Harry. Though she knew Tiana would catch her being all flustered and quiet at some point.

Y/N What’d the little bird say?

Harry That your birthday was three weeks ago.

Biting her lip, Y/N closed her phone and tried to engage in the conversation going around her room. Though her head was so far away, thinking about brown curls and green eyes only, so it was hard to hear all the words being spoken clearly, and not as if she was flying around her room in a bubble, hearing only muffled sounds. Her phone vibrated again.

Harry March 11th.

Y/N Never really cared for my birthday if I’m honest. It’s no big deal.

Harry It is to me.

Y/N couldn’t help but feel her heart swell a little at that text. Harry really felt that way? Her birthday was a big deal to him? It seemed so unrealistic for someone other than her family to really know when her birthday was, and to genuinely care and remember that information. Tiana was the only other one who knew when Y/N’s birthday was, and one Y/N had told her not to make a big scene on her birthday, Tiana had respected that completely and only called to have a chat when Y/N went home to celebrate with her family. It wasn’t that Y/N was keeping her birthday away from anyone, she would just much rather not get the attention her birthday would bring. Her phone vibrated again.

Harry The woman I’m crushing on’s birthday was a few weeks ago and I didn’t get her a card, flowers, or present. Unacceptable.

Y/N Harry, you don’t have to get me anything.

Harry Maybe not, but it isn’t about feeling like I have to. You’re a priority, not an obligation.

Y/N almost gasped, Harry’s words having its effect on her as they always had

“Okay,” Tiana nudged Y/N with her toe. “Who’re you talking to?”

“Ehh, no one.”

“Tell Ehh No One that they can wait. You’re spending time with us now.” Tiana smiled, and Y/N instantly felt a little bad that she had zoned so completely out of their conversation that she didn’t even know what the group was chatting about now.

Y/N Hanging out with the flat. Chat later x

Harry Whenever you have the time, darling. Xxx

Y/N closed her phone then, putting it under her thigh as Tiana crawled over to her, resting her head on Y/N’s shoulder. They fell into conversation with the lads again, talking till Ian’s speaker went out of battery an everyone’s tummies started grumbling. Though Y/N was physically in her room, talking to all her flatmates, her mind was somewhere else entirely. It was somewhere in Cotton Row; somewhere where a beautiful brown-haired bloke sat alone in his room doing nothing. Whenever she would catch herself slipping away to think about Harry and him texting her, she would pull herself right back to reality with all her friends. They had been right, it would be a while till they would all be hanging out like this away, so Y/N had to be present while she still could.

At last, they all decided to go to the kitchen and make some dinner in half an hour, but to just tidy theirs rooms properly first beforehand. As the lads walked out, Tiana remained in Y/N’s room, and judging by the very serious expression on her face, Y/N closed the door.

“You okay, T?” Y/N sat down in her bed again, facing her best friend.

Tiana looked over at Y/N, a little lost for a few seconds before she opened her mouth. “I need to tell you what happened with Danny.”

Y/N had almost forgotten completely about him, but by the tone of Tiana’s voice it was clear that was far from her case. With her eyes closed for a few seconds, breathing in and out to calm down, Tiana tried to find the correct words.

“You deserve to know.”

“If you don’t want to tell me, Tiana-“

“-I do. I want you to know because you’re the only one besides myself I want to know about this.” Tiana explained, hand resting against her chest as she talked. “I trust you to know every single little detail about me. To know me well.”

Y/N smiled encouragingly, taking Tiana’s hands to tell her by touch that she was there with her. It took some time for Tiana to open her mouth and talk, but once she finally did, Y/N seemed to finally understand the whole picture. As Y/N rubbed her thumbs over Tiana’s hands, watching her calm down with each stroke, Y/N knew that she had to be patient for Tiana to tell her. No use pushing her for information she would eventually receive.

“I told Danny about the pregnancy scare in November.” Tiana started, looking at something behind Y/N. “About how you came to the clinic with me, and that if he wanted he could even see the test results if he wanted to.”

Y/N frowned.

“Just so he wouldn’t start asking about them later, which I kind of knew he would anyway.” Tiana shrugged. “Anyway, I…” She stopped, collecting herself for a few seconds before she went on. “I went to his flat to tell him and he lost his mind. So I said what had been on my mind for weeks by that point, something I was certain of, and that was… that I loved him.”

Y/N’s entire body hurt thinking about this whole scene. Tiana laying herself bare in front of Danny.

“And of course he didn’t say it back.” Tiana laughed a little. “Because why would he fall in love with his fuck buddy, right? Why get emotionally attached to someone when you can remain ice cold?”

“T…” Y/N sighed, feeling Tiana tighten the grip she had on her hands.

“So, to sum up:” Tiana looked at Y/N, trying to smile, but it failed to meet her eyes. “I told Danny about thinking I was pregnant, but that I wasn’t, and he freaked out. Then I told him I loved him, and he stopped freaking out to tell me he didn’t feel the same way.”

Y/N was silent, not really knowing what the appropriate thing would be to say in a situation like this one.

“Told me this always happened to him and he didn’t know what he was doing wrong for all the birds he fucked to fall in love with him.” Tiana’s glance was distance as she was undoubtably reliving the whole scene in her head. “Asked me if it was something specific he did, and I just told him I didn’t know why I love him. I told him I just did, that it had come out of nowhere, my feelings.” She closed her eyes. “And then I did the mistake of asking what he would have done had I been pregnant.”

Y/N knew she’d hate he answer.

“’Would’ve left. I’m not old enough to have a kid, I’m still in uni’, he said.” Tiana opened her eyes again, not looking at Y/N as she continued. “When I teared up, he stood there in silence not comforting me or talking to me, just waiting for me to leave. I have never felt more worthless than I did after that. I’m so glad it was close to Christmas so I could go home to my family and forget about uni for a bit. Would never forget about you, Y/N, but…” Tiana sighed, looking at Y/N now. “Sometimes I wish I could start uni all over again so I would’ve made the decision not to talk to Danny ever. Would’ve made myself stay far away from that wank-stain.”

Y/N saw the blankness in Tiana’s eyes, and the pool of tears that were forming at the bottom of them. Leaning in, Y/N embraced Tiana and brought her close into a tight hug. It took a minute or two for Tiana to finally cry into Y/N’s shoulder, to repeat over and over again ‘I wish I’d never met him’ or ‘I hate him so much’. It broke everything within Y/N into a million tiny little pieces. To know someone had hurt her best friend this bad for her still to be sad about it even months after, it took everything for Y/N not to cry with her. She had to be strong now and show Tiana that she was there for her, that she always had her shoulder to cry on whatever happened. They heard the lads walking into the kitchen to make some dinner together, but Tiana and Y/N stayed back until Tiana’s cheeks were try, eyes less red, and until her spirits were back up again. Well, till her spirits were somewhat back to normal. Y/N got a few tissues and dried Tiana’s cheeks, shushing her when she started to speak. They were going to sit in silence until Tiana’s sobs that shook shaking her body like a hiccup every few seconds, had stopped. Only then were they ready to walk into the kitchen and to the others.

“Thank you,” Tiana almost whispered. “For listening and being here for me.”

“Always, Tiana.” Y/N said, throwing the tissues at her bin, but missing massively. Both of them laughed a little, though Tiana was quick to look down at her hands as she opened her mouth, then closed it again. Opened, then closed.

“Could not hold it in for any longer.” Tiana said, looking at Y/N. “Know I do not owe you an explanation for anything or to share everything with you, but I want to.”

Their hands found one another, intertwining instantly.

“Best friends don’t have secrets.” Tiana smiled.

It took a second before Y/N smiled back. “Best friends don’t have secrets.”

Friday, 10 April 2015

The Junction was an old pub in Battersea, London, a one-minute walk from Clapham Junction. It was dimly lit, with tellies in each corner for sport events, and old grunge dark wooden floors, tables, chairs, and bar counter. In one end stood the small stage live acts performed, while everywhere else was occupied by run-down furniture and loud laughter. It smelled old when you entered, as if the building had been standing for hundreds of years, and Y/N thought that might just be the case. It was a friendly place, the second Y/N and Teresa stepped through the door, the woman working behind the bar gave them a wide smile. Teresa walked up to introduce them, and while she was talking, Y/N looked around the pub. It was still too early in the afternoon for groups to come have a pint with their mates, but a few old men sat by one of the windows leading to the busy St John’s Hill outside, cars and people rushing by to get home for the weekend.

It wasn’t even busy yet, but as Y/N surveyed the room, taking in every detail about the place and every seating area where someone would sit later, she felt her heart beating uncomfortably loudly in her ears. She balled her hands into fists in her cardigan pockets, trying to tell herself that everything would be alright. Just close your eyes and don’t think about how many people will be watching you. But it was impossible not to think about all those people that would be watching, all those eyes that would be studying her every move and analysing her body and clothes and… and… just her in general. Sometimes Y/N wondered why she had chosen to study music at all, because it was inevitable that she would end up performing in front of people all her life.

Closing her eyes for a few seconds, she tried to calm herself down by repeating ‘you’ve come so far, you’ve grown so much, the nerves will be over in no time if you just relax’. Though she had come out of her shell a little when attending uni, her stage fright never seemed would truly ever go away no matter how hard she tried. She would always be an anxious person. Opening her eyes, she looked at calm Teresa who was already looking at Y/N, giving her that relaxed and encouraging smile she so often gave her. Good thing, Y/N thought, I’m doing this with Teresa.

The bartender - Glenda her name was – helped the girls set everything up. She asked loads of questions about their uni experience and which songs they planned on playing. An incredibly nice woman, Y/N thought to herself, smiling as Glenda told a joke Teresa found hilarious. The brown-haired woman, whose hair was greying at the roots, walked back behind the bar counter as someone else walked into the pub. Following the two older men was familiar faces, though, and Y/N’s smile broaden instantly.

“I’m your biggest fan!” Finn said a bit too loudly, running over to stand before the stage where Teresa and Y/N were. “Can I please have a picture?!”

“The cringiest man alive, innit?” Tiana rolled her eyes, but laughed once Finn rolled his eyes back at her. “How are you girls doing? Been rehearsing at all yet?”

“Not yet.” Teresa said. “Think we’re just going to jump straight into it, wouldn’t you say, Y/N?” She looked over at Y/N who nodded, biting her lips together.

“You’ll be amazing, Y/N.” Spencer smiled, giving her a wink before him and Ian walked over to the bar to get something to drink.

“Nothing to be scared about, yea?” Finn said. “Imagine you’re just the two of you rehearsing.”

Y/N nodded again, taking a deep breath.

“Where’s Annie?” Teresa asked Tiana.

“Went home to Linton earlier today, think she might’ve forgotten about you lot’s performance, to be honest. But don’t take it to heart.”

“You going home to Hawkley after this?” Finn asked Y/N as Teresa and Tiana started up their own conversation beside them.

Y/N nodded, crossing her arms over her chest. “My family will drive once my little brother is done college for the day.”

Finn smiled. “I’ve yet to meet that man, bet he’s a proper lad.”

“The best person I know.”

“Even better than me?” Finn furrowed his brows as if offended and placed both his hands on his chest.

Y/N laughed and so did he.

“Tough choosing between the two of you, not going to lie.” Y/N smiled, scratching at something on her shoulder blade. “You going Brighton after this then?”

“Nah,” Finn shook his head, showing his hands into his jean pockets. “I’ll go home tomorrow. Told mum I would stay another week at uni just to say goodbye to everyone and to the flat and stuff before we leave for the summer. Going to surprise her by just knocking on the door at home and startling her.”

“Startle her?”

“Yea.” Finn chuckled. “Going to either like jump out from the bush by the front door or scream in her face.”

“Oh my goodness.” Y/N said, making Finn laugh. “You’re the worst kind of son.”

“But she’s going to be happy to see me. Both my mums would forgive me for scaring the living shit out of them.”

Y/N nodded. “’Both your mums’?” She realised that it was probably a weird thing to focus on, him saying that, because his parents might be divorced, and she might’ve poured some salt on unhealed wounds.

“Got two mums.” Finn explained, smiling proudly. “Dad died when I was very young, and mum found the second love of her life in someone else. Been raised by them two ever since.”

Y/N smiled, hearing Finn talk to highly of all his three parents calming her nerves for her performance and making her focus on something else entirely.

“You’ve got to meet them, they’re the loveliest people you’ll ever talk to.”

“Then you’ve got to come camping in Hawkley, right by the lake on the outside of my parents’ property.-“

“-Shut up, Y/N, that would be fucking sick.” Finn grinned. “Boys, you heard that?” Finn nudged Tiana, both her and Teresa looking at him. “Y/N suggested we camp together. Sounds like a sound time?”

“Oh, my God, yes!” Tiana gasped, beaming. “Could we sit in that boat on your lake then?”

“Sure.”

“I’m so excited already!”

“Could do a small tour then.” Finn suggested, looking back at Y/N. “Camp at yours for a few days, then take the train to Brighton, then back up to London.”

“What about Bath?” Tiana asked, furrowing her brows at Finn. “What about my hometown?”

“We going to visit everyone’s hometowns, you mean? Will be a bit of a trek travelling all the way up north to Manchester for Harry, won’t it?”

And just as his name was mentioned and the two of them started discussing all of this, the door into The Junction opened again. Wade walked first, Sai following right on his heels and Harry last. Wade looked over his shoulder to talk to his two mates, making Sai laugh at something as the two of them walked toward Finn by the stage. Harry was quiet however, only the slightest smile on his face as he caught Y/N’s eye. As he strolled toward her, Y/N took this time to study all of him, something she rarely let herself do as it would only boost his already enormous ego. He was wearing a black tee shirt tucked into black trousers, his infamous chain hanging from the free belt hoops. His trainers were stark white, standing in huge contrast to the rest of his outfit and his black leather satchel, the strap hanging on his left shoulder, draping over his chest till it rested on his hip. He always dressed so incredibly well, all his clothes looking expensive and luxurious. Made Y/N wonder about his parents and how much money he grew up with, because it had obviously been a very rich household.

Y/N looked down at her own outfit, feeling like she hadn’t dressed up for this at all. A mustard button up mini skirt reaching mid-thigh and wrapping around her hip, white milkmaid top tucked into it, and her white Vans. She had a grey cardigan as well, but it was resting on top the violin case behind her, she didn’t see the point in wearing it as she was already sweating heaps at the thought of performing. It was an incredibly warm day in April, and though it had been quite windy on the walk here, the sun was still warm on Y/N’s skin the whole way. Teresa was wearing an orange crop top with blue jeans, and the whole gang seemed to be dressed for summer as all the long sleeves were gone, bare skin on display for the sun to do its work. The sun shone in through the window of The Junction, lighting up the already dark interior.

“Finnster.” Sai said, placing both his hands on Finn’s shoulders. “Looking bloody dashing as ever.”

“Was wondering if my bum looked good in these jeans.” Finn looked over his shoulder, attempting to get a good look at his arse. “If I attracted your attention, I would assume it did.”

Sai howled with laughter while Finn greeted both Harry and Wave with some weird handshake-hug all men seemed to do when they met their mates. As soon as Harry had said his hello to Finn, he glanced back at Y/N, the conversation between the rest already going. Spencer and Ian finally walked over to the gang, hugging the new arrivals, but Harry didn’t even seem to notice them. He smiled up at Y/N, resting one of his hands on the strap by his chest.

“Hi.” He said, voice as soft as velvet.

Y/N smiled back. “Hi.”

“Alright?”

“Nervous, you?”

Harry let out a small chuckle. “About performing?”

Y/N nodded, letting her arms fall to her sides. “Never really done it in front of an audience like this before, don’t know how people are going to react or if they’ll even listen at all.”

“You’re scared people won’t listen?” Harry raised his eyebrows, not mockingly but out of pure curiosity.

Y/N chuckled a little at herself. “Isn’t it weird?” She asked. “I’m both scared people won’t listen to me because I’ve been preparing for this for weeks, but also terrified that people will.”

“It’s not weird.” Harry shook his head twice. “You’re just nervous about first time performing at a pub. Normal to be a bit disoriented and out of it when it’s your first time doing anything.”

“Think so?”

“Yea.” Harry smiled again. “Wouldn’t be fun if everything you ever did didn’t make you at least a little uncomfortable at first. What’s life without a little challenge, yea?”

“Can’t say I agree. Don’t really like challenging myself.”

Harry laughed. “Well, enjoy challenging yourself today when you perform.”

Y/N ran both hands through her hair, smiling a little at Harry. “I won’t enjoy it the least bit at first, but hopefully I’ll ease into it at some point.”

“That’s my girl.”

Y/N’s heart did a loop and stopped for a second before she regained consciousness, staring into Harry’s green eyes that she ever got tired of studying the shade of. That’s my girl. Y/N swallowed, the tips of her fingers tingling to touch him. She yearned to feel his torso under her fingertips as she had done in the study room weeks ago. Longed for him so close to her that they mingled into one, floating together into a universe neither of them knew the name of but loved all the same. Missed his lips, even though they had only kissed once. It felt so overwhelming and weird for Y/N to want someone this bad, but it was impossible for her to even try to stop herself from admitting just how completely Harry had gotten to her.

“Y/N-“ Harry started, but was quickly interrupted by Sai.

“-Mate, you owe me a pint from last weekend. I’m thirsty.”

“Fine.” Harry said, giving Y/N one last glance before he walked over to the bar with Sai who clapped his hands together, ready to pick out the beer he wanted.

“It’s time.” Teresa said, and Y/N noticed for the first time in a while that the pub had started to fill up quite a bit. It was 6pm now, people were either at home eating dinner or on their way out for a drink with their friends. Y/N turned around and got the violin out of its case, placing it on her shoulder. Behind Teresa stood Y/N’s note stand, and she glued her eyes to the notes she had learned by heart over the last few weeks. Just to make sure she knew all of them and that she wouldn’t screw everything up. She noticed her hands shaking and sweat forming by the edge of her hairline and cupid brow.

“Hey,” Teresa whispered, the others having gone to sit down in one of the booths by the windows nearby. “It’s going to be okay, yea? You’re okay.”

Y/N nodded. And bringing her bow up to her violin, she started playing Stubborn Love by The Lumineers. Her eyes instantly fell closed, she was not for the life of her going to see anyone’s expressions as she played. She knew Teresa was watching her and probably the rest of her gang as well, and even though Y/N knew they would mean no harm and would most likely be impressed, she couldn’t help thinking they would be underwhelmed.

“She’ll lie and steal and cheat, and beg you from her knees, make you think she means it this time.” Teresa sang, voice as graceful as ever. “She’ll tear a hole in you, the on you can’t repair. But I still love her, I don’t really care.”

With her eyes closed, it was easy for Y/N to escape her body and The Junction and all the eyes on her as she created music. Suddenly she was floating along the notes on the paper she knew was right there if she dared open her eyes; she was flying along with the waves of emotion music could manifest. Undoubtably swaying along with the music, Y/N almost felt herself smiling. It was so liberating to create temporary art; art that wasn’t there to be seen, but to be heard, felt, and experienced. The nervousness she had felt earlier died down a little as they finished the song and the entire bar erupted into applause and hoots and whistles. Y/N opened her eyes and looked over at Teresa who was already beaming at her. She smiled as well.

“Thank you.” Teresa said into the microphone. “This next song is Blackbird by The Beatles.”

The two shared a few seconds looking at each other to make sure both were ready. Y/N started playing the second song of their set, closing her eyes this time as well. Teresa sang her heart out and Y/N played to the same effect. The two girls worked well together, knowing each other’s strengths and weaknesses, and it was clear that they understood each other as musicians as well as people. Never did Y/N open her eyes, but after a month and more just practising these songs every day and knowing them well, she didn’t really have to. Once she remembered a music sheet, she’d remembered it till the day she died. They were soon halfway through their set which meant they’d get a break. As she lowered her violin when they were done, the whole bar clapping once again, Y/N heard the door into the pub creak open but didn’t pay it much attention. Hunching down to put the violin back into its case, she turned back around to an older man standing by the booth her friends were sitting in. Teresa was getting her purse so she could buy something to eat and drink, but Y/N couldn’t move as she watched Harry get up from his corner seat.

The older man’s hair was a dark shade of grey, wearing a blue business suit and carrying a folder of sorts. He looked serious, turning around as Harry stood so he could walk outside. Harry followed, not even sparing Y/N or the rest of the group a second glance. He seemed tense, shoulders set higher than they usually were and his hands in the pockets of his black trousers. Y/N felt a weird sense of something being wrong. Very wrong. Harry and the man stopped outside the front of the pub, and through the right side windows, Y/N could see the man talking to Harry in a tone Y/N knew she didn’t like.

“Ready for a bite, Y/N?” Teresa asked, but once she saw Y/N staring out the window at Harry she abruptly stopped. “What’s up? Who’s that?”

Y/N shook her head. “Don’t know.”

They both watched as the older man gave the folder over to Harry who opened it discreetly, looking inside at its contents. Y/N couldn’t see Harry’s facial expressions, only the back of his head, and it was near killing her because her curiosity was about to get the better of her. Getting her cardigan and putting it on, she walked over to her mates, Teresa following close behind.

“You are amazing!” Finn grinned. “Let me buy you both a cocktail, yea?”

“Whose Harry talking to?” Y/N asked, motioning with her thumb over her shoulder.

“His dad.” Sai said, gripping at his slight beard. “Weird bloke.”

Y/N frowned a little, crossing her arms again.

“If you want to find out for yourself what’s going on, Harry has my wallet in his purse.” Finn said, pointing towards the door.

“It’s called a satchel, not a purse.” Tiana corrected, making Finn repeat her only in an exaggerated high-pitched voice.

“Want to go out there or not? Want me to?” Finn raised his eyebrows at Y/N, and though she would never do this usually, the whole situation didn’t sit right with her and she needed to know what was going on. So, nodding her head at Finn, Y/N turned around and walked toward the door of the pub. She wasn’t sure what she wanted to find out or if her feeling weird about all of this was even correct. What if it was all innocent and his dad had just come here to show him something? What if he was there for another reason that wasn’t sketchy at all? Maybe Y/N was just overthinking everything as she usually was? What if she was and her questioning Harry’s father’s intentions would cause Harry to doubt what he had with her? Y/N didn’t know what logic was as she stepped toward the door, placing her hand to it and pushing it open. She didn’t hear anything distinct at first, the trailer driving by muffling out most noise around her. But as it was driving away, a quieter street was left in its wake. And Y/N could finally hear what they were talking about.

“…just saying it- showing you this, because I want you to be aware.”

“And you don’t need to make me aware of anything.” Harry answered his dad in such a vicious tone it almost made Y/N wince. Slowly she stepped out into the street, looking over at Harry and his dad who were staring daggers at each other.

“I won’t throw these papers away. They hold-“

Harry’s dad stopped speaking once the door closed beside Y/N and his eyes landed on her. The seconds that followed when he looked her over and slowly glanced back at his son; the seconds Y/N thought somehow turned into hours.

“Y/N Rose Picot is here for you, Harry.” He said. “I will leave you to it.”

Without even sparing Y/N another glance, Harry’s dad turned on his heels and walked away, his back to them. Harry whipped around, wide eyes landing on Y/N and once he saw her, he instantly eased. The anger Y/N saw somewhere in his green irises evaporated, and he let go of a deep sigh.

“Harry,” Y/N said, palms sweaty as she balled them into fists by her side. “What’s going on?”

Harry shook his head. “Nothing, dad is just intense. Don’t worry about it.”

“He knew who I was.”

Harry stopped a little, as if he only just realised that his dad had said her full name. First, middle, and surname. “He’s just good with faces. He knows my friends from Facebook profile pictures.”

Y/N didn’t have a profile picture on Facebook.

“Does your father know who I am, Harry?” Y/N’s heart was beating so fast it was a wonder she was even standing by this point.

“He knows a lot of people, Y/N. Let’s go inside-“

“-Why does he know me?”

Harry frowned. “He keeps track of all my friends, that’s just the way he is. He’s a little fucked up, what do you want me to fucking say?”

Y/N frowned back, taking a step back from Harry. “Keeps track of your friends…?”

Harry just stared at Y/N, lips parted as if he knew what he had just said sounded not only shady, but incredibly messed up and not at all good in any way. Y/N took another step away from him, swallowing to maintain the calm she had kept up for so long. She didn’t know how she was going to make it through the second half of her and Teresa’s set because she couldn’t stop shaking.

“Like… if they’re good for you?”

“Y/N, there really is no use arguing about this.” Harry said, walking toward her, but she only walked away from him. Harry stopped, hurt crossing his face.

“Then tell me what this was all about and I’ll stop pressing you for information about it.”

Harry groaned, running a hand through his hair and completely messing it up. “I fucking won’t because it meant nothing.”

“Your father knows who I am!” Y/N was aware she was shouting; aware people were watching them from both inside the pub and from everywhere on the street. “And I’ve never met him before! Of course it means something!”

Harry fell quiet, only looking at Y/N in complete shock. She had never raised her voice about anything before, and hearing her be mad at him, upset about something he did, seemed to make everything about him freeze. Y/N completely forgot about Finn’s wallet as she walked inside and straight for the bar. Teresa and Tiana were quick to come over, both looking absolutely horrified. They stood on either side of Y/N, Tiana’s arm around her waist and Teresa holding her hand. Never had anyone seen Y/N this mad or shaken up because it rarely happened. Y/N didn’t get this upset about much, she was usually very good at hiding what she was thinking and feeling, but this had taken her so off guard that it was impossible for her not to have a reaction to all of this.

“Y/N.”

It was Harry. And Y/N didn’t even want to turn around to look at him.

“Y/N-“

“-Make him leave.” Y/N mumbled, only Tiana hearing it as she rested her chin on Y/N’s shoulder.

“Harry, you need to go.” Tiana said, voice soft as she didn’t yet know what had transpired between him and Y/N. Y/N didn’t know the look on Harry’s face as he walked over to the booth and gave Finn’s his wallet back. Didn’t know what he said to them when they asked what had happened. Didn’t know if he even looked back once he left the pub, on his way god knows where for a reason Y/N could never guess, she assumed. Both Teresa and Tiana asked what was going on, what Harry had said and why his father had been here. But Y/N only shook her head, defeated and confused and hurt. She closed her eyes and let out a shaky breath, trying to calm herself down enough to eat a proper meal and finish the set. Though she didn’t know how she was going to do that when what had just happened, Harry’s dad, and Harry, were all she could think about.

“Careful.” Allison said, voice stern as Edward walked up the small step and into Y/N’s university flat.

“Mum, I’ve used crutches before. I know how to use them.” He looked over at Y/N and rolled his eyes, only making Y/N smile back.

“Fully aware of that, honey, but I’m still scared you’ll fall over.”

“Does it look like I’m falling over?” Edward asked, making his way through the second door and into the downstairs corridor. Walking to his left and toward the open door into Y/N’s room, Y/N could make out a smile on her brother’s face. Most bags and suitcases were in the car already, only a single bag left that Y/N would be taking on her back after this. Edward stopped in the doorway, looking around first, trying to take it all in, Y/N supposed. Her brother walked further in on his crutches, limping as he did so, though he always did that because he leaned most of his body weight on his crutches. Edward had learned how to walk on crutches when he was 10, and had mastered it throughout the years. Though his parents rarely let him walk on crutches as they didn’t want him to fall and hurt. Everyone followed right after Edward, letting him look around the room Y/N had lived in for her first year at university. He walked over to her chair and sat down, groaning as he came in contact with the chair. Smiling, he glanced around the room and looked at her pinboard where she had hung his paintings and pictures of the two of them together. He stared at the bed she had laid in most times they had FaceTimed, and the mirror where she would send him a goodnight Snap with toothpaste foaming around her mouth.

“This is how you saw your flat when you first moved in, when you were sad I didn’t get to see your room.” Edward mused, looking over at Y/N sitting on the bare bed. “And now I get to see it like you first saw it.”

Y/N smiled, leaning over and taking her brother’s hand in hers, kissing it before just holding it and looking around. Their parents smiled at them and Allison brought her phone out, snapping a picture of the two in Y/N’s empty dorm room one first and last time. They had asked how the performance had gone when they picked her up by Clapham Junction, and Y/N had given them the simple answer, which was to not elaborate on the situation with Harry and everything in between. So she told them it had gone well, and gave them all a rundown of the songs she had played and Edward made her promise to play him some when they reached Hawkley that same evening. Y/N had smiled at him and nodded.

She lost herself in thoughts of Hawkley. Of the endless fields where endless possibilities awaited; in her boat by the lake when the sun would beam down on her and a book in hand, music playing from her phone; pushing Edward on the paths through the forest around their property and having the best time ever. She had missed her home, missed being in the country and not in the biggest city in the United Kingdom. It would be good for her to relax without the constant buzz around her, pressure from uni, and everything else in between. Sure, she would miss London to some extent, but right now she’d much rather be in Hawkley with her family. Where she belonged and would always belong. Where there was no Harry and no trace of what had happened at The Junction.

Y/N bit her lip together, not allowing herself to even think of Harry until she was safe at home in her room, about to go to bed, when she could cry for hours.

“Want me to take that bag for you, poppet?” George asked, pointing at the last bag on her bed.

“No, that’s quite alright, dad, I’ll take that one myself.” Y/N said, giving her father a smile as he helped Edward into a standing position. Her little brother had been so eager to see her room, and that was the whole point of bringing crutches and even being in here one last time. Y/N watched as Edward made his way out of her first home away from home, made sure everything was alright before she got to her feet and put the bag on her back. Placing the chair by her desk, leaning over to close her window one last time, and hunching down to get her doorstop from under the door, Y/N finally stood in her doorway by herself. She looked at her room, feeling a lump form in her throat again as she knew this would be the last time she’d have the chance to look at it and be here. Never would she tread into flat 34 of Westbridge Halls again. Never would she live with all these amazing people and complain about the mould in the kitchen again. Never would she play her violin in this room or write an essay by her desk.

She knew she would be happy in her new house next year, knew there was nothing to be sappy about. But Y/N hated change. More so, hated leaving something behind that she had much liked having around. So, inhaling deeply, allowing herself to smile as she looked at room 3 of flat 34 one last time, she stepped into the corridor, let the door fall shut, and locked it for the very last time.

TAGLIST

@swayingnoodlelove @littlestyles @showk1ndness @sydneysuit @hallwayharry @emotionally-imbruised @fuckyeahimahobbit @beksjewels @harryisadogperson @harryrocksagoodsuit @ifiwereaboy2323 @tiostyles @maroonmolly @harrysroguecurl @awomanindeniall @justsaying20 @ot4narrie @miss-nxvxcaine @sunflowersandrockstars @hard-on-harry @emma070900 @shitibitmytonge @always-jackedup @rainbowbutterflyboy @shegotthesalt @harrytreatspeoplewithkindnesss @mleestiles @bloodcastle30155 @harryskiwi2 @brielyse11 @for-fucks-sake-h @treat-harry-with-love @permanentllyharry @flooome @harryfeatcalum @harrystrugglestache @hydra-barnes @violets-parma @shadowsndaisies @messyherz @dancinglikeamadpersoninthedark @kakaym @loveandyourstrulyh @onedirectionhoe @yes-daddy-i-willl @itsnoneofyourbusiness94 @stylisthazel @givemesomemore @thelux47 @its-all-about-harrystyles @blogjustlauren @friendlyneighborhoodron @stylesfantasy @miraclesoflove @belladonna-styles

Would you like to be notified when I update Symphonies of You? Tell me here and I’ll add you to the taglist!

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x reader #harry styles fic #harry styles smut #harry styles one shot #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #harry styles fanfic #het fic #1dff #COME FREAK COME FREAK COME FREAK !!!!!

218 notes · View notes

comeback-tomy-home · 6 years ago

Text

The Star Student - Chapter 1

pairing: student Namjoon x professor reader

genre: university AU, smut, angst, semi-PWP, dom!Joon

word count: 3.4k

warnings: slight cheirophilia (hand kink)

chapter 1 chapter 2 chapter 3 chapter 4

Occasionally, there was a student who really caught your eye - someone with a bright spark, something unusual about them that made you notice them among the crowds of students you saw every term. They were few and far between; most of the students you saw were perfectly pleasant, perfectly intelligent, but just not interesting. Their essays consisted of regurgitated theory and quoted works you'd seen a hundred times already, without a trace of original thought. Of course, there were some who went too far the other way, desperate to prove just how much smarter they were than all the others; sometimes out of overconfidence, but more often out of low self-esteem.

For the most part though, your students were no trouble at all bar the occasional disagreement over an essay mark. You always had a bet with yourself at the start of the year about who would turn out to be the star pupil, seeing whether you could identify who would be the most impressive, original, engaged student by the end of the first week of classes. Some years you had picked a winner right away, before they'd even put their hand up to answer a question, and some years you'd got it dead wrong after one of them had made an excellent first impression but fizzled out quite spectacularly with the mounting demands of university life. Once you'd picked, you were strict not to give the 'star' any more or less attention than any of the other students, carefully making sure you treated them exactly the same way as everyone else. It wouldn't be fair to give anyone an advantage and of course the students could never know about this long-term bet you had with yourself.

This year, you'd been assigned a new tutor group of students on international exchange programmes who had decided to take your class for the year alongside their main programme of study. They sat alongside the home students in classes, but you saw them once a week in private tutorials to check on their progress and make sure they were getting the most out of the class. It was the first day of a brand new term and you had the familiar butterflies in your stomach, the tingle of excitement as you prepared to meet the students you would be teaching over the coming year. Of course, you knew the material by heart now (it helped that you had written the textbook) but it was still exciting to meet new people, hear new viewpoints and mark new assignments. There was still a considerable age gap between you and the other academics in your department, who tended to be in their fifties and sixties, and consequently rather out of touch with the student body.

Thursday morning rolled around - your last class of the week. Today you were teaching a class on photography for Masters students, which was your absolute favourite subject. It was a beautiful sunny day, with a definite chill in the air, and you were a little later for class than you usually liked to be - you had stopped on the way to get a much-needed coffee and had got caught up chatting with the barista. You hurried through the main courtyard of the university, wrapped up in a warm coat, hat and scarf, mentally checking through the things you needed for that day's class. Notepad? Yes. Textbook? Yes. Whiteboard markers? Yes. Register? Yes. You were so caught up in your thoughts that you misjudged the stairs up to the door and tripped heavily, spilling coffee all over yourself, and your armful of papers tumbled to the floor. You picked yourself up, face burning with the shame of having made a fool of yourself in front of probably hundreds of students and colleagues on the very first day of term, and started picking up the papers that were now scattered all over the foyer. You didn't look up while you tried to scoop them all up as quickly as possible, ignoring the pain in your shin which you'd cracked painfully on the step as you fell. Perfect start to the day, you thought sarcastically. And this week had been going so well.

As you scrabbled to pick up what seemed like a whole tree's worth of paper, you noticed that someone had crouched down to help you, and you could see their shiny black shoes not far away. You didn't look at them until you had stood up, papers in one arm, bag slung over your back and still blushing fiercely, to take the papers they were now holding out to you. You looked up into the face of a tall, handsome man who was smiling slightly and holding out a neat stack of papers. If possible, you flushed even deeper and muttered a quick 'Thanks,' before hurrying away, head down. He was gorgeous. Brilliant, you thought to yourself. Helpful and handsome. Well done, Y/N. You had caught a flash of dark brown eyes, bleach-blonde hair and deep dimples either side of his mouth before you had looked away, too embarrassed to make proper eye contact. You walked the rest of the way to your classroom on autopilot, all the way up the stairs, down two corridors and around a corner in a daze, now even later than you had been. You looked up and saw a queue of students waiting outside your locked classroom and broke into a bright, 'So sorry! Bit of a mishap on the stairs...' You fumbled for your keys and unlocked the door, pushed the doorstop underneath and welcomed the waiting students into the room, then took the thirty seconds the students spent settling in to whip off your coat and dab ineffectually at the coffee stain that had spread on your shirt. This was not a good start to the year, but you hoped the rest of the class would prove to your students that they should take you seriously. You were, after all, a leading academic in your subject area, even if you were considerably younger than they might expect. You turned your back on the class to write your name, the module, and the lecture title on the board, waiting for the last stragglers to choose a seat and get their laptops out, then turned back and smiled broadly at the waiting students.

'Hello everyone, I'm Professor Y/L/N, but please call me Y/N. I hope you've all read your module outlines?' Some murmurs of assent rippled towards you, but mostly the students were silent. 'Good, so you know that the first lecture is an introduction to photography. Today, we'll cover...' You continued with your usual introduction, outlining the main topics for each week, along with what the students were expected to do between classes, and the schedule of seminars for the upcoming term. 'And your first assignment will be due in six weeks. Any questions?' You glanced around at the class and your heart skipped a beat. There he was, the handsome man who had helped you pick up your papers on the steps, sitting towards the back of the class and looking straight at you. He made no sign of recognising you, just sat still in his chair with his laptop in front of him, waiting to start taking notes. From what you could tell, he was wearing a black polo neck jumper, black jeans and shiny black boots, and his hair had been cut short on the sides, leaving a perfectly styled but rather long mop of blonde hair on top. He looked a bit older than the other students, who tended towards their early twenties, and his long legs were crossed casually under the desk. You looked away from him and scanned the rest of the class, but you were sure you had looked at him a bit longer than you should have done.

‘No? Good, let's get on with today then. Chapter one in your textbooks, please.’ you wondered why you were feeling quite so flustered. You'd had attractive students before - someone in your class last year had had the bluest eyes you'd ever seen. But once you'd got used to them twinkling at you every week, you'd never given it a second thought. Why would you? You were a professional, after all, and wouldn't be caught dead with a student. That kind of behaviour was for the older men in your department, the ones who had been teaching for years and had lost their sense of propriety. You, on the other hand, were a bastion of good conduct - and considering you were the newest member of teaching staff with a promising career ahead of you, it would have been unwise to put your future at risk. Sure, it wasn’t forbidden to have relationships with students outside the classroom, but it was frowned upon, and with good reason. The teacher-student dynamic didn’t lend itself well to balanced, reciprocal connections and the few you’d known about during your time at the university hadn’t ended well.

While the students read through the introductory paragraphs, you called the register name by name, subconsciously waiting for the handsome man to speak up. ‘Sarah? Matias? Namjoon?’ Ah. He lifted his head slightly and raised one hand in a casual gesture. Your stomach tightened and you looked away from him quickly, cursing the butterflies he had conjured with just a simple wave of his hand, and continued down the list of names.

The rest of the class passed without incident. You’d taught this module a number of times now, and could breeze through it without paying too much attention to the content, so you put Namjoon firmly out of your mind and gave the lecture you’d given this time last year. You gathered all your willpower - tricky, when all you wanted to do was stare at him - and didn’t even glance at him for the next 45 minutes. You could tell he was paying attention (despite not typing a single word on his laptop) by the way you could somehow feel him looking at you, his dark eyes raking over you as you flicked between slides on your presentation. He’d certainly caught your eye, and it looked like you’d caught his too. You’d never had one of your ‘star’ pupils get your attention in this particular way before, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that Namjoon would be the one student who would stand out from the crowd this year.

Two weeks later, it was time for the international students to have their first tutorial session with you - you had asked them all to sign up for a slot at the end of the previous class. It was Friday, your tutorial day, and you had spent most of the day so far either one-on-one with students or looking over your tutees’ learning journals in your stuffy little office which was lined with hundreds of volumes ranging from tiny dictionaries to huge, glossy coffee-table art books. Being on the third floor, it had a nice view of the courtyard as well, which you always appreciated during long hours marking assignments. The learning journals were something you asked your tutees to complete each week; partly to help them reflect on their studies, and partly so you could pick up on any struggles they were having and offer guidance. Namjoon’s had been concise and almost frustratingly factual, and had given absolutely nothing away. You reread his most recent one in the hope of gleaning something you hadn’t noticed before, but nothing was forthcoming. Maybe he wasn’t interested in your class at all? As you thought that, your stomach dropped a little. You hoped that wasn’t true. He could have switched classes by now if he didn’t care, there were plenty of other modules that might be more to his taste. He always paid attention during class - or at least, he always looked as if he was taking in what you were saying when you dared to glance at him. Somehow, he was always looking at you when you did, and more than once you’d tripped over your words after locking eyes with him by accident.

No, you thought to yourself; if he really wasn’t interested in photography he wouldn’t still be there, sitting quietly at the back of your classroom. Maybe he took in more by listening than by taking notes, and as long as he was keeping up with the rest of the class there would be no need to ask questions. You’d see him in about five minutes anyway, since he’d put his name down for the tutorial slot before lunch, and perhaps he’d be more forthcoming in person than he was in writing. As you glanced at your watch you noticed your heart had started beating a little faster than normal, and you felt decidedly jittery. Probably too much coffee.

‘Professor?’ You'd never heard his voice before, you realised - during class, he hadn’t yet volunteered to contribute to any discussions or asked any questions. It was deep and rich, slightly overlaid with an American lilt on top of a Korean accent, and it went straight through you to leave tingles all over your skin. Namjoon stood in the doorway, wearing his usual all-black attire, and somehow you only realised in that moment how tall he actually was. Usually you were standing and he was sitting, so you’d never noticed how he loomed over you. ‘Come in, sit down. How are you, Namjoon? Coffee? Tea? I have peppermint!’ You were babbling slightly and prayed he wouldn't notice how nervous you were. ‘Coffee, please.’ He didn't say anything else, just waited quietly while you got the coffee ready in your silver cafetiere. You turned your back to him to measure out the grounds and knew his eyes were on you. The thought made you shiver slightly, and not at all in a bad way. You poured two cups and gestured to the milk jug and sugar bowl next to the kettle, but Namjoon just took the cup with a quiet murmur of thanks and set it down on the desk in front of him.

‘So Namjoon, this is your first tutorial with me. We can talk about how you’re getting on, but is there anything you want to ask first?’ You were trying to be breezy, conversational, but something in his expression told you that wasn't what he wanted. ‘I wanted to talk to you about this week's class, professor. I had a question.’ ‘About the assignment?’ ‘No. I was wondering about the content of the lecture, actually. You seem very knowledgeable on the subject.’ Thursday had been the first non-introductory lecture of the module. The first two weeks were spent making sure all the students were up to speed on the context of the subject, and then you could get started on the actual content. Over the last few years, you found it had been very effective to deliver the third lecture on the topic of erotic photography - it perked up even the most reticent students and tended to keep them interested when their focus was slipping. You’d found that once you’d started making that the third lecture, very few students ever switched modules. ‘Well, I suppose I am. My name is on the textbook, as I'm sure you noticed,’ you tried to joke with him, but he just smirked and pressed on. ‘From experience?’ ‘I-’ what was he asking you? Did he want to know how you knew so much about the subject matter? He just raised his eyebrows and waited for you to continue, fixing you with his deep brown eyes, hands clasped casually on his lap. ‘Namjoon, that's not relevant to my teaching. My research methods are detailed in the textbook, which you would know if you had read it.’ You surprised yourself by snapping slightly.

Little did he know that yes, you had originally stumbled upon your interest in erotic photography through an ex, Taehyung, who had introduced you to the scene. You had never partaken yourself beyond one or two private sessions, preferring to observe and analyse the composition than to participate, much to Taehyung's disappointment. Regardless of your personal interests, though, you had never discussed any of that with a student before (only your most trusted friends), and you weren't about to start now.

‘No offence meant, professor, it's just that I'm intrigued.’ his voice dropped as he said that, and you felt a definite tingle run through you at his words. ‘N-none taken.’ you stuttered. You hoped he hadn't noticed, but you knew he had when he smirked slightly, one side of his full mouth lifting a little as his hand came up to brush over his lips. He had read you like a book. You suddenly felt exposed, vulnerable in a way you had never felt with a student before. You shifted in your chair, trying to regain some control over the situation, but you found yourself gazing at his long-fingered hands even as he clasped them together. The familiar heat started to spread over your cheeks and you knew you were blushing again; it hadn’t helped that shifting in your chair had made you suddenly and acutely aware of the warmth starting to gather between your thighs.

You looked away from Namjoon and back to the screen of your computer quickly - he was leaning towards you now, his elbows resting on his knees and his eyes locked on your face. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw him smirk again and wondered if he was enjoying making you so flustered. You tried to ignore him and scanned over the few details in his most recent learning journal; you couldn’t think of a single thing to say. Usually you were very good at putting students at ease and prided yourself on being excellent at determining what approach different students might need to make them feel comfortable, but all your knowledge and experience seemed to have gone out of the window as soon as Namjoon crossed your threshold. This was so very unlike you that at this point, all you wanted was for him to get out of your office to allow you to collect yourself.

Of course, it didn’t help that you hadn’t got laid in...how long had it been now? You didn’t have a lot of time for dating, what with your daily classes, research sessions, tutorials and endless bureaucratic meetings with other academics, so unfortunately your sex life had dropped to the bottom of your priority list. Naturally you had your time-honoured methods of relieving the tension now and then, but your late-night self-love didn’t really hold a candle to sex with somebody else. Especially not a somebody quite as handsome as the one sitting on the other side of your desk at that exact moment.

‘Is there anything else?’ you said, still not looking at him. He took a moment to respond and you thought you saw him smile before he spoke. ‘No, professor.’ ‘Right. In that case I’ll see you next week. Do email me if you have any specific questions about the content of the lectures.’ You knew your tone was far colder than you’d usually use with a student, let alone a new tutee, but you just wanted him to go. You were embarrassed and more than a little uncomfortable with how this meeting had gone.

You sat still on your chair and waited for Namjoon to open the door to leave. He stood up, looking as if he was going to turn and go, but then walked quickly around the desk to stand over you. You gasped and looked up at him just as his fingers threaded into your hair, tipping your head back gently, and the thumb of his other hand pressed against your bottom lip. He delicately opened your mouth and slid the very tip of his thumb between your lips, your warm breath gushing out in a sigh. You closed your eyes for a moment, his hold on you so firm and reassuring that you wanted nothing more than to relax into him and let yourself be taken over. It only lasted a second though, as he pulled away and turned for the door with a murmur. ‘See you next week, professor.’

a/n: this particular fic has been brewing for six months now! ive never ever published anything before so this is a whole new thing for me. feedback is fully welcomed and appreciated! smut will start in chapter 2 so stay tuned, anticipate this fic will be reasonably hand kink-heavy for uh...personal reasons

#bts #bts fic #bangtan fic #bangtan #kim namjoon #reader insert #namjoon x reader #dom!joon #dom!namjoon #bts smut #hand kink #namjoonxreader

72 notes · View notes

a2caf · 6 years ago

Text

McDuffie Award for Kids’ Comics—Shortlist Announced!

The nominees for the fifth annual Dwayne McDuffie Award for Kids’ Comics are here!

After reading scores of comics published in 2018, the judges have selected their top ten. In alphabetical order, they are: Be Prepared, by Vera Brosgol, sends young Vera, a Russian girl living in an American suburb, to summer camp—Russian summer camp, the only one her single mom can afford and the one where she just might be able to fit in,

The Cardboard Kingdom, by Chad Sell, follows a neighborhood of kids who transform ordinary cardboard into fantastical homemade costumes as they explore conflicts with friends, family, and their own identity.

Hidden Witch, by Molly Knox Ostertag, continues the story of Asler, hero of The Witch Boy, as he takes magic lessons from his grandmother and tries to help his non-magical friend Charlie escape from a curse that's trying to attach itself to her.

Last Pick, by Jason Walz, takes readers to an earth overrun by alien invaders, where only those too young, too old, or too "disabled" have been spared from abduction...but maybe the kids last picked can step up and start a revolution.

Lumberjanes: The Infernal Compass, by Lilah Sturges and polterink, finds the Janes separated during an orienteering outing, thanks to a mysterious compass that others very much want to lay their hands on.

My Beijing: Four Stories of Everyday Wonder, by Nie Jun, introduces Yu'er and her grandpa, who live in a small neighborhood in Beijing that's full of big personalities—with a story around every corner and a hint of magic each day.

Onibi: Diary of a Yokai Ghost Hunter, by Atelier Sento, transports readers to the places where natural and supernatural meet, as it explores some of the lesser-known parts of Japan in a story that is part fantasy and part travelogue.

Peter & Ernesto: A Tale of Two Sloths, by Graham Annable, tells the story of two best friends who are nothing alike—Peter loves their tree and never wants to leave, while Ernesto loves the sky and wants to see it from every place on earth.

The Prince and the Dressmaker, by Jen Wang, finds Prince Sebastian hiding a secret life―taking Paris by storm wearing fabulous dresses as the Lady Crystallia―and relying on the brilliant young dressmaker Frances, who guards his secret but has dreams of her own.

Sanity & Tallulah, by Molly Brooks, features best friends who live on a dilapidated space station at the end of the galaxy―but when Sanity creates a definitely-illegal-but-impossibly-cute three-headed kitten, the havoc it wreaks may mean the end of their outer space home.

Many, many thanks to judges Faith Roncoroni, Tameshja Brooks, and Nola Pfau, who were assisted by Kids Read Comics and A2CAF co-founder Edith Donnell!

The winner will be announced on Friday evening, June 14 at the Ann Arbor District Library

*********************

Here is the complete list of books that were considered for this year’s award:

5 Worlds 2 by Mark Siegel, Alexis Siegel, Xanthe Bouma, Matt Rockefeller, and Boya Sun

Akissi by Marguerite Abouet and Mathieu Sapin

All Summer Long by Hope Larson

Amulet 8 by Kazu Kibuishi

Aquicorn Cove by Katie O'Neill and Ari Yarwood

Banana Sunday by Paul Tobin and Colleen Coover

Be Prepared by Vera Brosgol

Brobots 3: Brobots and the Shoujo Shenanigans! by J. Torres and Sean Dove

The Cardboard Kingdom by Chad Sell

Catstronauts: Robot Rescue by Drew Brockington

Caveboy Dave 2: Not So Faboo by Aaron Reynolds and Phil McAndrew

Chasma Knights by Boya Sun and Kate Reed Petty

The City on the Other Side by Mairghread Scott and Robin Robinson

Clem Hetherington 1: Clem Hetherington and the Ironwood Race by Jen Breach and Douglas Holgate

The Creepy Case Files of Margo Maloo 2: The Monster Mall by Drew Weing

Crush by Svetlana Chmakova

Cucumber Quest 2: The Ripple Kingdom by Gigi D G

The Dam Keeper 2: World Without Darkness by Robert Kondo and Dice Tsutsumi

Dead Weight: Murder at Camp Bloom by Terry Blas, Molly Muldoon, and Matthew Seely

Delilah Dirk and the Pillars of Hercules by Tony Cliff

Demon Slayer Kimetsu No Yaiba 1 by Koyoharu Gotouge

Dog Man 6: Brawl of the Wild by Dav Pilkey

The Dream of the Butterfly Part 2 by Richard Marazano and Luo Yin

Earth Before Us 2: Ocean Renegades! by Abby Howard

Edison Beaker, Creature Seeker 1: The Night Door by Frank Cammuso

Estranged by Ethan M. Aldridge

Fake Blood by Whitney Gardner

Fruit Ninja: Frenzy Force by Halfbrick Studios and Erich Owen

The Ghost, The Owl by Franco and Sara Richard

The Girl Who Married a Skull: And Other African Stories by Nicole Chartrand et al

Gordon: Bark to the Future! by Ashley Spires

The Hidden Witch by Molly Knox Ostertag

Hocus & Pocus: The Legend of Grimm's Woods: The Comic Book You Can Play by Manuro and Gorobei

How to Spot a Sasquatch by J. Torres, J. and Aurélie Grand

Illegal by Eoin Colfer, Andrew Donkin, and Giovanni Rigano

Last Pick by Jason Walz

Lumberjanes: The Infernal Compass by Lilah Sturges and polterink

Making Friends by Kristen Gudsnuck

Mega Robo Bros by Neill Cameron

Modo: Ember's End by Arthur Slade and Christopher Steininger

Monster Mayhem by Christopher Eliopoulos

Monsters Beware! by Jorge Aguirre and Rafael Rosado

Mr. Wolf's Class by Aron Nels Steinke

My Beijing: Four Stories of Everyday Wonder by Nie Jun

The Nameless City 3: The Divided Earth by Faith Erin Hicks

Narwhal and Jelly 3: Peanut Butter and Jelly by Ben Clanton

Nathan Hale's Hazardous Tales 8: Lafayette!: A Revolutionary War Tale by Nathan Hale

New Shoes by Sara Varon

Nick the Sidekick by Dave Whamond

Onibi: Diary of a Yokai Ghost Hunter by Atelier Sento

Petals by Gustavo Borges and Cris Peter

Peter & Ernesto: A Tale of Two Sloths by Graham Annable

The Phoenix Colossal Comics Collection 1 by Robert Deas, Jamie Smart, Laura Ellen Anderson, Dan Baultwood, and Jess Bradley

Pizzasaurus Rex by Justin Wagner and Warren Wucinich

Positively Izzy by Terri Libenson

The Prince and the Dressmaker by Jen Wang

Quirk's Quest 2: The Lost and the Found by Robert Christie and Deborah Lang

Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo 2: The Middle-Route Run by James Parks and Ben Costa

Sanity & Tallulah by Molly Brooks

Scarlet Hood by Mark Evans and Isobel Lundie

Scarlett Hart: Monster Hunter by Marcus Sedgwick and Thomas Taylor

Science Comics Sharks by Joe Flood

Sci-Fu 1: Kick It Off by Yehudi Mercado

Secondhand Heroes: The Last Battle by Justin Larocca Hansen

Secret Coders 5: Potions & Parameters by Gene Luen Yang and Mike Holmes

Secret Coders 6: Monsters & Modules by Gene Luen Yang and Mike Holmes

The Secret of the Wind by Jim Pascoe and Heidi Arnhold

Sheets by Brenna Thummler

Short & Skinny by Mark Tatulli

Even More Monstrous! by Rémy Simard

Small Things by Mel Tregonning

Smash 2: Fearless by Chris A. Bolton and Kyle Bolton

Sparks by Ian Boothby and Nina Matsumoto

Star Scouts 2 The League of Lasers by Mike Lawrence

Star Wars Lost Stars 1 by Claudia Gray, Claudia and Yusaku Komiyama

Space Boy 1 by Stephen Mccranie

The Stone Man Mysteries 2: Sanctuary by Jane Yolen, Adam Stemple, and Orion Zangara

Super Potato 1: The Epic Origin of Super Potato by Artur Laperla

Supergirl: Being Super by Mariko Tamaki and Joelle Jones

The Unsinkable Walker Bean And the Knights of the Waxing Moon 2 by Aaron Renier and Alec Longstreth

Wings of Fire 1: The Dragonet Prophecy by Tui T. Sutherland and Mike Holmes

Wires and Nerve 2: Gone Rogue by Marissa Meyer and Stephen Gilpin

#awards #McDuffie award

2 notes · View notes

charger-batteries · 4 years ago

Text

Dell XPS 13 2-in-1 (9310) Review

With cutting-edge components and a sleek, sturdy chassis available in multiple color options and screen resolutions, the late-2020 reboot of Dell's XPS 13 2-in-1 (starts at $1,099; $1,499 as tested) sets the bar for premium convertible notebooks. Intel's latest "Tiger Lake" CPU and graphics options make the XPS 13 2-in-1 a top performer in its class. The battery life is impressive, as well. The starting configuration is a bit underpowered, but the premium for the well-equipped version reviewed here is reasonable. The system snags our Editors' Choice award for best premium 2-in-1.

A Standout in a Crowded Field

The market for premium Windows laptops is ultracompetitive, with Dell, Asus, Acer, HP, Lenovo, and other companies updating their flagship models frequently—sometimes more than once per year. The XPS 13 2-in-1 is up against similarly excellent convertible laptops with 13-inch screens, among them the HP Spectre x360 13 and the Asus ZenBook Flip S. Several of these have been updated with Intel's 11th Generation Tiger Lake Core processors or their AMD equivalents, the Ryzen 4000 series.

I'll get into why the XPS 13 2-in-1 rises to the top of this field below, but the first question shoppers should consider is whether they need a convertible laptop or the also-excellent conventional clamshell-style XPS 13. The main difference between the two is the 2-in-1's 360-degree rotating hinge. This lets you use it not only as a laptop, but it also allows you to prop it up on your desk like an easel or tent (with the keyboard folded underneath or behind the screen), or use the system in your lap as a tablet. In these modes, your main interaction with the laptop is via its touch screen. Fingers or Dell's optional digital stylus can be used to write, draw, and manipulate onscreen elements, while the pop-up virtual keyboard built into Windows 10 serves as a means of typing.

Not everyone needs this additional flexibility, especially seeing as the clamshell-style XPS 13 also offers a touch screen. But neither does the flexibility require many sacrifices. Both models share similar styling and physical dimensions. They're made from machined aluminum with carbon- and glass-fiber accents, and both offer sleek silver exteriors and two refined interior color options: black or white palm rests with matching keyboards.

Both are also quite compact, fitting their 13-inch displays into an area that was once reserved for laptops with 11-inch or smaller screens. The XPS 13 2-in-1 weighs 2.9 pounds and measures 0.56 by 11.7 by 8.2 inches (HWD). The XPS 13 is slightly lighter and shallower, since it doesn't need to incorporate the extra hardware for a 360-degree hinge, but the differences are negligible—it weighs 2.8 pounds and is 7.9 inches deep.

The XPS 13 2-in-1's dimensions are comparable to those of its HP archrival, the Spectre x360 13 (0.57 inch thick, 2.9 pounds). The Dell has a 13.4-inch display (an unusual size) in an uncommon 16:10 widescreen aspect ratio, instead of the more typical 16:9. This gives it a slight advantage over similarly sized convertible notebooks with 16:9 screens that measure 13.3 inches on the diagonal. You're not likely to immediately notice that tenth of an inch, but it does pack in nearly one million additional pixels, and its taller size can display a bit more of a vertical document like a web page.

A Rigid and Compact Body

The XPS 13 2-in-1's compact size doesn't leave it feeling flimsy. At just under the three-pound limit that typically defines the ultraportable laptop category, it feels solid, though not bulky. It's also quite well engineered. You can open the lid with one hand, instead of needing both pry open stiff hinges. Whether you're tapping on the touch screen or on the very comfortable touchpad, the laptop responds instantly. The screen bounces very little, and the touchpad doesn't suffer from the sluggishness or cheap-feeling clicks that are common on many Windows laptops.

With an 85% screen-to-body ratio, the XPS 13 2-in-1 is also enviably modern-looking. The borders around the display are vanishingly small, unlike those of the Apple MacBook Pro, which has a lower screen-to-body ratio that results in additional space around the keyboard and display.

The convertible's screen is gorgeous. On our review unit, it offers a native resolution of 1,920 by 1,200 pixels, which is a bit higher than full HD (1,920 by 1,080) because of the panel's 16:10 aspect ratio. Picture quality seems better than most other full HD screens I've used, with more vivid colors and a sky-high rated contrast ratio of 1,800:1. Brightness is rated at 500 nits, outshining the 300 to 400 nits of many competing laptops, and that makes for easy viewing in brightly lit rooms (though not outdoors).

When you're viewing the screen up close, however, text can be a bit pixelated, which is common to all full HD displays. Dell does offer a 4K (3,840-by-2,400-pixel) screen option, which should make everything appear much crisper, though lighting four times as many pixels will take a toll on battery life. The 4K screen adds support for the DCI-P3 color gamut, which could result in more brilliant and faithful color reproduction, but it has a slightly lower 1,500:1 contrast ratio.

I see only two drawbacks to the XPS 13 2-in-1's physical design. The most significant is the shallow keyboard. Both the clamshell and convertible XPS 13 models have used Dell's unique magnetic keyboard switches for the past few generations. Compared with Apple's old butterfly-style switches, which have almost no travel distance, Dell's implementation is slightly more comfortable. But now that Apple has switched to its Magic Keyboard design, with much greater travel, the XPS 13 2-in-1 offers a less comfortable typing experience by comparison. Keys are sturdy enough, but they travel just 0.7mm, and the overall sensation is more akin to tapping than typing.

The XPS 13 2-in-1's rather anemic port selection is also a drawback, but it's less problematic than it once was. A headphone jack and two USB-C ports, each with Thunderbolt support, are all you get. The Spectre x360 13, by contrast, offers a USB Type-A port for additional peripheral compatibility. More and more of the latest peripherals, such as external hard drives, now use USB-C, though, so the lack of ports is only an issue if you have lots of legacy devices to plug in.

Dell also thoughtfully includes a microSD card reader on the left edge for easy storage expansion or transferring footage from a camera.

Tiny Webcam, Rich Audio

The XPS 13 2-in-1 shares the XPS 13's innovative webcam, which manages to fit IR sensors (for face-recognition logins via Windows Hello) as well as the 720p camera itself into the tiny border above the screen. Another password-free means of logging into your Windows 10 account is via the power button, which doubles as a fingerprint reader. The latter occasionally failed to successfully log me in, and the rectangular shape of the button made it difficult for my large fingertips to register their prints. Once I got used to placing my finger in the right spot, though, the reader's accuracy improved.

I found the webcam quality to be above average in a well-lit room, though it suffers from slightly distracting noise and pixelation in dimly lit conditions. Unfortunately, this is true of nearly all laptop webcams.

The Dell's audio quality is rich and full, but the placement of its stereo speakers on the bottom of the laptop makes sound a bit muffled in laptop or tablet mode. There are six separate grilles along the left and right edges of the laptop's base. Four of them are used for air intake, while two deliver audio. When you're propping the XPS 13 2-in-1 as a tent (with the speakers facing you) or using it as an easel (with the speakers facing upward), the audio quality is better.

Wireless connectivity includes a Killer Wi-Fi 6 (802.11ax) module built into the Intel chipset, as well as Bluetooth 5.1. Dell backs the XPS 13 2-in-1 with a one-year hardware warranty, a period that can be extended up to four years for an additional charge.

Testing the XPS 2-in-1: 'Tiger Lake' and Iris Xe on the Bench

The entry-level version of the XPS 13 2-in-1 includes an Intel Core i3 with UHD integrated graphics, 8GB of memory, and a 256GB solid-state drive. A Core i3-powered laptop that costs more than $1,000 is hard to recommend, but fortunately the price doesn't get out of hand as you add components that are more fitting for the money. Our review unit includes a Core i7 processor, 16GB of RAM, and a 512GB SSD for a reasonable $1,499. As with the latest XPS 13, all of the XPS 13 2-in-1's processor options come from Intel's latest "Tiger Lake" family. While the Core i3 version uses UHD graphics, our Core i7-1165G7 unit features more powerful Iris Xe graphics silicon. The CPU also comes with four cores, eight threads, and a maximum boost clock speed of 4.7GHz.

Coupled with the 16GB of RAM, this Core i7 and Iris Xe setup should provide plenty of computing power for most of the tasks that XPS 13 2-in-1 users are likely to do. I compared the laptop's performance in our benchmark tests with a few comparable machines whose specs are listed in the chart below. Most are 2-in-1 hybrid or convertible designs priced in the $1,500 range.

The one exception is the HP Envy x360 13, which is a step down from the Spectre x360 13 and is priced just under $700. I chose this machine in part because we haven't yet tested the latest "Tiger Lake" version of the Spectre, and in part because the Envy comes with an AMD Ryzen CPU instead of the more common Intel Core ones. The latest Ryzen 5 laptops have been rivaling the performance of more expensive Core i7-powered ones on some tasks. (See how we test laptops.)

That turned out to be the case with the XPS 13 2-in-1, whose performance in the PCMark 10 productivity benchmark proved slightly inferior to that of the Envy x360. The margin is not significant, but the test is important, because it measures web browsing, word processing, and light multimedia editing, all of which are the XPS 13 2-in-1’s bread and butter.

Meanwhile, all of the laptops' speedy SSD boot drives performed roughly equally in our PCMark 8 storage subtest. (That is typical of late-model SSD-equipped laptops.)

In workflows that are more demanding, such as rendering a 3D image using the CPU, the XPS 13 2-in-1 is slightly superior. It scored 890 to the Envy's 841 in the Cinebench rendering test, which is fully threaded to make use of all available processor cores and threads.

Cinebench is often a good predictor of our Handbrake video-editing trial, another tough, threaded workout that's highly CPU-dependent and scales well with cores and threads. In it, we put a stopwatch on test systems as they transcode a standard 12-minute clip of 4K video to a 1080p MP4 file. It's a timed test, and lower results are better. In this case, the Dell convertible was slightly slower than the Envy x360 and the Lenovo ThinkPad X13 Yoga, but not meaningfully so.

We also run a custom Adobe Photoshop image-editing benchmark. Using an early 2018 release of the Creative Cloud version of Photoshop, we apply a series of 10 complex filters and effects to a standard JPEG test image. We time each operation and, at the end, add up the total execution time. As with Handbrake, lower times are better here. The Photoshop test stresses the CPU, storage subsystem, and RAM, but it can also take advantage of most GPUs to speed up the process of applying filters, so systems with powerful graphics chips or cards may see a boost.

The XPS 13 2-in-1 turned in an exceptional score in the Photoshop test, taking a bit more than two minutes to complete all of the filters and effects. This is not far behind the Asus' time, but significantly faster than any of the other three competitors.

Decent Gaming Performance

Integrated graphics processing has improved by leaps and bounds in the past two years, as Intel and AMD have significantly upgraded the capabilities of their Iris and Radeon silicon. In our 3DMark and Superposition gaming graphics tests, the laptops equipped with Iris Xe and Radeon graphics significantly outperform the ThinkPad X13 Yoga and Microsoft Surface Pro 7, which are both equipped with older UHD or Iris Plus Graphics.

3DMark measures relative graphics muscle by rendering sequences of highly detailed, gaming-style 3D graphics that emphasize particles and lighting. We run two different 3DMark subtests, Sky Diver and Fire Strike, which are suited to different types of systems. Both are DirectX 11 benchmarks, but Sky Diver is more suited to laptops and midrange PCs, while Fire Strike is more demanding and made for high-end PCs to strut their stuff. The results are proprietary scores. Unigine's Superposition benchmark also pans through a detailed 3D scene, using a different rendering engine for a second opinion on each PC's graphical prowess.

The XPS 13 2-in-1 is the clear winner in both of these tests, but the real achievement is not the small gains over the ZenBook Flip S or the Envy x360 13 but the nearly three-fold improvement over the Iris Plus and UHD systems. Hardcore gamers won't find much of interest here, since even a score of 16 frames per second in Superposition's 1080p preset is hardly representative of silky-smooth game play. But if you're a casual gamer content to play at lower resolutions and graphics detail settings, the XPS 13 2-in-1 could serve as a capable platform.

Class-Leading Battery Life

Lasting for more than 14 hours of video playback at 50 percent screen brightness, the XPS 13 2-in-1 offers a few extra hours of unplugged time compared with its rivals. This is an excellent result that suggests that the laptop will last through a full day of light work without visiting a power outlet. The Dell's 51-watt-hour battery charges quickly, taking a bit more than an hour to go from a 5% to a 90% charge in my testing.

While 14 hours is impressive, it's no longer in the vanguard. Several ultraportable laptops we've tested recently have topped 24 hours of battery life, including the Apple MacBook Air and the Lenovo Flex 5G.

Still Pole Position Among Convertibles

A few generations ago, the XPS 13 was nearly flawless, earning a five-star review. Both the 2-in-1 and the clamshell versions remain exceptional, offering class-leading performance and battery life in a sleek, compact, and sturdy chassis. But competitors have closed the gap significantly, even with models that cost less. This is especially true when it comes to performance, as is clear from the Ryzen-equipped Envy x360 13. The Dell's shallow key travel is also more of an issue than it once was, now that Apple has implemented a more comfortable keyboard design in its MacBook lineup.

Nevertheless, though it's not perfect, the Dell XPS 13 2-in-1 is the best premium convertible you can buy. It easily earns our Editors' Choice award.

0 notes