#bridgeton fandom people don't kill me

[winters-rose-daughterofcain]

Fine I'll talk about Bridgerton

One thing this season made really clear to me is that Lady Whistledown is in a way a coping mechanism. It was stared by a lonely, neglected, unhappy seventeen year old girl who felt like she could scream until she collapsed to the ground and it would be into a void because no one would fucking listen to her.

Her mother constantly berates and criticises her, her father (while alive) barely speaks to her and is seen off to the side drinking when he's meant to be chaperoning her, her sisters are openly cruel to her and are still favoured by their mother. She has few friends, and the two relationships she holds closest both have significant blocks to them, with Colin it's her unrequited feelings and..... tbh her and Eloise's friendship is a whole different post and while they clearly mean the world to each other, there where fundamentally issues long before Lady Whistledown was so much as a drop of ink. I think they are both at fault for them and I love both of them, but Eloise's biggest issue comes from just not listening to her and in general as a person having a bad case of tunnel vision and hyper focusing on certain things while completely missing others.

Pen is outcast from society from the moment she steps foot in it, ridiculed and despised by those around her and bullied by girls her age for literally no fucking reason. She is seen as unattractive and undesirable, she believes the fundamentally human want to be loved a silly childish delusion because she is told from every angle that she is not worth it. She's not even worth listening to.

I think her resentment and hurt had been building for a while, she's never under any assumption that she will be treated or seen better. How could she be? When she is constantly reminded how much she fails to be what is wanted or respected or valued, primarily by her own damn family. Still, she's a kind girl. She's sweet and attentive and a good listener, she's patient and reliable and, before Whistledown started, probably extremely loyal, if how much guilt she felt whenever she genuinely betrayed someone says anything. She's someone who has never felt or had any power, who has so much hurt and resent and bitterness from years of this shit building and building.

But she's also smart and witty and funny and extremely intelligent. She has a talent for writing and words and clearly has the potential to be successful. I think being pushed into society a year earlier than she wanted (again, because her mother wouldn't listen) pushed her over the edge. She wrote her observations, the things she learnt from being pushed to the side for so long down, and published them. I don't think she ever intended for it to be as big as it was, and I think the bigger it got and still gets the more in over her head she is. Because for once people listened, for once people cared, for once what she thought and said and worked for mattered.

It is a young girl gaining her first glimpse at power and being deeply unprepared for the consequences. When things go wrong and she doesn't know what to do and no one will listen to her as Penelope, this is the only way she can make them. No matter how disastrous the affects, using Whiseldown gets results, it just also hurts people, pushing her further and further down this cycle where Whistledown is one of the only thing that makes her feel better and allows her to process the things in her life, while hurting the people around her and making her more dependent on it.

She truly meant to give up Whistledown after the disaster with Eloise, but on that night she had her connection or trust from the two people who she cared about and who cared about her the most broken. With the fight with Eloise and then overhearing Colin she lost both of them in the span of an hour, what else dose she have aside from her writing?

And again at the ball in episode one. Even after a complete upheaval of her entire look she still fails to talk to those guys, she still isn't enough, it's proof it is not her youth or her mother influence something fundamental in her can't do this. Then Cressida rips her dress with Eloise standing right there, then Colin comes and (even tho she is incorrect) confirms to her that he too, is embarrassed by her. So what dose she do? When she's miserable and powerless? She writes. She takes it all out in Whistledown and says the (admittedly true which is why it hurt so much tbh) cruel things about Colin, which she regrets literally a day later after actually talking to him. Adding more guilt and keeping her stuck in this cycle.

It's a business definitely, and there are many parts of Whistledown she genuinely enjoys, but I don't think it's good for her. It hurts the people around her and it hurts herself, she's in over her head and definitely knows she should stop, but I don't think she knows how. She doesn't let herself rely on others enough to be okay without this one thing that has allowed her to cope and be heard and respected and valued. That's also why I think she couldn't have stopped before this season, now she's finally getting that, she's finally being listened to and respected and valued and being told she is worth something. Not by many people, and it is still too new to change the fundamental thought patters about it she has, but it's a start.

Now she just has to grapple with that fact that this thing that has given her a voice and found her comfort might just be the dealbreaker for the real people in her life who can actually offer her the love and care and respect she deserves and craves and has been denied for so so long. It sucks and it's a cycle she can't get out of now, she's made her own trap without knowing how she did it.

That's what happens when a 17 year olds coping mechanism continues and grows and expands for years, when people unknowing pay to see more of it, and when she doesn't really know what else to do. Whistledown is Pens choice and all her actions for better or worse, but it would not exist without the context of her life. It would not exist if Portia was a better mother, if she had better sisters or a better family. It would not exist of other girls her age were kinder to her, if they excluded her a little less. It would not exist if she were not seen as a lost cause for love before she had the chance to try. Lady Whistledown would not exist if someone just fucking listened to her.

[brilliantfantasticgeronimo]

Rogue thoughts and reactions--->

not taking many notes this time cause i wanted to Savour this one tbh and what a blast so far

rogue and doctor so far is like. rtd striking gold potentially here (i kno he didnt write this one i mean more like. in the long run. i could see fans going crazy over this Type of ship and spending sweet $$$$ on it lol).

ruby looking at this "scene" like it's a tv show………. live…….. honey u best believe in ghost stories hyper post-modern genre tv show seasons cause u are in one

cushy… wordsmiths-ing count…

"ruby: you know how i forget about a man?" with a woman? (shot)

the parallel of these guys "dishonoring" these ppl while the doc and ruby do kind of the same all the time sdkflj

mmm second time i see a triangle logo (it was there last ep on the door to the MEP area that lindsey and rickey ran into. camera held on suspiciously long on it…) (triangles…. three…. susan TRIAD???)

doctor this says you're single and available. oh another word. "very" available.

COME ON ACE WE HAVE WORK TO DO

"wow" boner dialogue

mention of gallifrey.... "i might take you one day" oh man. oh man………..

"random barren dimension" yes this is not an equivalent to a silent confinement analogue at all don't think about it too hard guys

"i lost everyone"

they're leaning on……………. oh yaz just broke a coffee mug somewhere

maybe the real enemy was fandom all along

THOSE TV SIGNALS BEAM OUT ACROSS THE STARS. TV SIGNALS. TV SIGNALS. TV ISNGALS TV

SIGNASLKDJASLKDJASKLJ1!!SKLFDJDSLKJFSDLK JF SHUT UPTJSDLFKSDJ (i die)

ok im enjoying The Concept a lot, as expected…….. but gotta say rogue does feel a bit two dimensional so far :/ (maybe even a bit cliche?) i feel jack in his first ep had more depth at first for example (bounty hunter but also lost his memory. doing amoral things but being swayed by the doctor at the end. etc). but there's time THERE'S TIME. DONT LE TME DOWN EPISODE PLEA SE. there's always a twist-

you people and your bridgetons. in my time this would all be a big ass downtown abbey reference

sad thing is this is def one episode i wont be able to watch with my homophobic parents at all oof lmao

this dialogue.... kinda thoschei acadamy years coded ngl

"tell me what your heart wants or i shall turn my back on your forever" defining 15 character dialogue……….

(commitment phobe doctor moment. my girl hastn changed at ALL) (btw intrigued by rogue's "i lost them" bc it could mean a lot right. it's the most delibarely ambiguous of pronouns dklfjsd like it could be a nonbinary character but could also be a couple characters? or maybe im reading it wrong sdlkjf)

play our games on a magnificent scale…………… games motif……….

"i thought i was interesting- but you??" exactly!!! doctor who>>>>>>>> bridgerton/all other tv shows. case made.

god i feel so stupid. i dint catch that twist at all TOT

wedding season finale. chuldur's know where it's at.

oh finally there's the scene from the trailers!!!!!!!!!

"how long do they live for?" oh he's gonna says A Thing "thats a long time to suffer" I WASN'T WRONG /GOES FERAL ( i knew the family of blood coding was leading somewhere…)

the doctor beatiing these cosplayers with his "i object" tv tropyness……….. the meta of it……… theory gang we're gonna make it yet i swear

ok yes this is sad poor ruby but like. but literally last month 14 killed/sacrificed donna w/o sm hesitation so sdklfjdsklfjsdklfj (yes im still like. HEY THAT WAS A SIGNIFICANT THING THAT HAPPENED. WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT IT.)

oh is rogue a chuldur as well? he feels too invested in the trolley problem of it all sdlkfj

im gonna say it.... i thought that resolution was kinda........ as the kids say..... weak sauce sfkdj

like oh nooo he got teleported oh noooo. like he's gonna be fine slkdfjsd didn't really hit that hard :/ should have had a proper death sacrifice thing.

"im sorry....." "....AAAANYWAY , it is what it is!!!! " my man is so broken holy shit. holy shit.

it's ok to be sad. !!!!! TOT

CONCLUSIONS!!

sdlkjf ya'll i really wanted this to harder but idk i didnt feel the depth or sensibility this called for was there tbh. but it was a blast!!! but … it missed a bit of that x factor thing. like some kind of universality to the romance w/ the rogue. i feel he was too sketched-in.... i was also a bit disappointed that ruby's friend was not her friend bc it meant her whole thing this ep of connecting to that woman was for nothing (and up until that point it was feeling very Important specially after the marti thing) (and speaking of, the chuldur's were kinda very sketched-in / surface-level as villains as well) … yeah. idk. kinda disappointing ngl (diodati > this i think). pretty fucking gay tho so that was nice.

[unimportant-ramblings]

Ramblings watches Halo (2022)

Episode 1: Contact (or: remember those walls I built).

"Sometimes others know things I do not"

@sonofcarnelian , my twin flame, and I have many similar interests. Star wars, Evangelion, DC comics, huge fandoms overlap for us. But of course, there are some things that we don't crossover on. Science tells us that we are, in fact, different people. He has stepped into my world of romance novels with his excellent Bridgeton write ups, so it's only fair I take a step into his.

My video game experience is limited, essentially, to games I could play on the Sega Genesis, the Nintendo DS, and my phone. Everything I know about games outside of my narrow range of experience, I have learned essentially against my will. So for this watchthrough I had two clear options in front of me. I could research everything I can about Halo, tv tropes, wikipedia etc or I could go in totally and completely blind. And of course, I’ve decided on the option that makes me look the most like a fool.

But in all honesty, in fairness to myself, a good adaptation should function for people who have no expertise in the subject matter. I have, nor will I ever, read the Princess Bride book because I believe the movie is perfect and literally don’t want my views on this subject to change. So I want to analyze Halo (2022) series blind, knowing that my compatriot will educate me and we’ll be able to meet in the middle as we so often do.

One more pre note, I just want to put out everything that i know/believe I know about Halo, so you know where I’m coming from:

Master chief is the main character in Halo. I believe he is a man. I have often accidentally typed in master chief when I meant to type in master chef and I am very excited to have that scenario reversed.

Cortana is also from Halo? I assume she is a woman based on the way names end? But I don’t know anything about her at all.

The armor from Halo looks dope; green, orange little view screen

Despite what I just said about it being green, I’m 90% sure that Halo is what red vs. blue exists within (I have also never seen red vs blue but i exist online)

That’s literally all I know! Let’s go, babies!

We begin on the planet Madrigal, and while soon it will be decimated, I am really digging the aesthetic and vibe. The style of the world feels unique without being outrageous.  We follow Kwan, a teenager and soon to be only survivor, and her look is layers upon layers;

she’s got a turtleneck, a jumper, a long vest and fingerless gloves. It’s got this utilitarian look but it also looks soft and she looks great. She also has long air and an undercut and consequently, my heart. Kwan’s doomed father is also rocking layers, and also a hat that both looks like the Spartan helmets and a bonnet?

Practical, yet it also indicates the omnipresence of spartans and the difference between our time and theirs. Clothes baby, the best world building. 

Layers are necessary because unlike many a sci fi world, madrigal has more than one biome; there’s plenty of sand (and where there is a sand sci fi world there are drugs, I don’t know why but that’s the rule) there’s also trees baby! And even though the minute you see these people living relatively peacefully, you know this is going to go up in flames, I still really enjoyed the setting. I am hopeful that we will go to more pretty planets. 

The aliens honestly took the wind out of my sails a bit honestly, because they look deeply uncanny. I don’t know why this is, it might be the juxtaposition between the more realistic, natural looking landscape? The gore I also found hard to take seriously, it felt as though they were going for visceral, but people are blown up with such speed and force that it was almost funny. 

My hopes mirror the unhappiness of Kwan, who loses everything she knows and is taken off planet. Yes, aliens who look like a mix between the Juggernaut and lizards who have just the worst mouths you’ve ever seen kill everyone in sight, only to be killed by the terrifying Spartans, led by Master Chief himself.

Things are better when we are dealing with characters. And the best thing is WOMEN! I’m not joking here, I had a running tally of every time I had cause to say Girl! And I had ten by the end of the episode. It seems as though the UNSC has a lot of women, and given that they are kind of evil, that sounds like I’m saying “more female drone pilots!” but it’s a tv show so I kind of am. Evil politicians, evil scientists, evil hench people! Evil? Girls sitting in boxes. Morally ambiguous girls who are realizing that maybe society is bad? The other evil side, the aliens, also have one human buddy and she’s also a girl! Let’s go girls!!!!!!!

But aside from John Master Chief, which is his name, Kwan seems to be our main character. She is the one who is unused to the UNSC world, she is the one who needs to learn things. I like Kwan, she’s justifiably angry, quick on her feet and sympathetic as she’s lost everything she knows. It seems like she and John Master Chief could have a father daughter dynamic, and to that I say thank you! More of that!

JMC 117, meanwhile, has touched a magic rock that has activated his memories of a past he does not remember and has made his biometrics go crazy. Unless I’m misinterpreting, it seems like JMC is seeing his childhood rather than, like, a dead wife? And I deeply appreciate that. These memories, as well as the fact that he has been ordered to kill Kwan, causes him to go rogue! The special rock turns into the same thing as the sword looking thing that the bad aliens had earlier (both JMC and I can vaguely recollect this from our hazy memories).

Generally, this episode is a lot of fun. I mean, I don’t understand many things that are happening; I don’t even have words to describe what’s happening in many scenarios, which is a little annoying for a write up. But it’s well made, I’m interested in the characters and I can’t wait to see where it goes next. And I can’t wait to hear from @sonofcarnelian about all of the many things I don’t understand.

We end the episode on JMC siding with Kwan against everything he has ever known. He takes off his helmet, proving that he’s at least mostly human and he’s a little cutie. (tangent:while I didn’t look up anything I was confused about, I did look up some actors, and the guy who plays JMC has done a lot of audiobooks? and that feels like a really good choice for someone who is mostly acting with no face) He activates the material, energy sweeps through the base and the status of him, Kwan and the entire base is uncertain. 

Miranda, a girl who tries to get Kwan to become a propaganda youtuber even though it’s way #toosoon ,her unseen mother is named Halsey, and it expects me to be just normal about that, I will not be and that’s a promise.Yes, I also wouldn’t stop singing encanto everytime they said Madrigal, I am insufferable and will never change.

Stray observations because I think I’m the av club or something:

Also there's a girl who dresses EXACTLY like Dakota Fanning's Jane character in Twilight who is in league with the aliens so I'm excited to see more of her!

Lady doctor TWICE responds to things with a panicked "no no no!!" and one “look look!” which is exactly how I respond to my kids when they very nearly catch me out in a lie, she's not shady at all. Also she keeps a person? Presumably Cortana? Locked in a rei ayanami/minority report looking tube/room? Guys I really don't know what's happening but she is rocking some Ritsuko vibes.

At 40:25 Kwan eats on the ship while Master Chief is reeling from his newly awakened memories, saying he doesn't want to eat. She asks him what he does eat and he's trying to play up the robot thing but he says “nuts-” and I nearly fell out of my chair.