#bridgertons love and protect pen

[lissa-edem]

Colin: she said "no", she does everything to ignore me. she doesn't want to forgive me, but I love her! I wanna marry her!

Benedict: brother, a little reminder: you hurt Penelope. trust me, even if she wants to kill you, Bridgertons will help her to get rid of your corpse.

[polinsated]

colin: *is angry, feels betrayed and insecure and turned on* also colin:

[sukibenders]

Some fans: Eloise is such a fake feminist, doesn't she see how some girls and women enjoy marriage? Doesn't she see how her privileges give her luxuries others don't? She's so selfish. She doesn't even use her words to support other women!

Also same fans: I wish Eloise would stop talking, like her speaking about feminism at every turn is getting old. Can't she just be quiet and let everyone enjoy the fun? Like yeah talking about women's lack of personhood without a male figure in society, or how they can't go to university, or how sometimes they marry men who will only hurt them but need to for their status is sad to see, but THE ROMANCE-

[larry-thesnail]

Colin: You betrayed me. You betrayed my trust, you betrayed our friendship, you betrayed everything that I've ever stood for. You let me down!

Penelope: Then why are you helping me?

Colin: Why? Do you think I care so little for you that betraying me would make a difference?

[butyouaremymess]

Polin Week: Day Five

Favorite Colin Moment

Season 2 Episode 8

“The Viscount Who Loved Me”

[anxicecreamty]

This might be controversial but I actually think pen is right and has done nothing wrong 🧡

[polinspen]

can we also talk about anthony bridgerton for a second??? his character development throughout the show has me on the damn floor. this man still holds the integrity, honor, and protectiveness for his loved ones but he now tries to be more open and understanding of people’s emotions. i also love how anthony was legit considering dueling colin for pen’s honor but quickly turned it into a jest. he’s also always considered penelope as part of the family 😭😭 anyway i love the bridgerton family so much

[nostalgicmiscellaneous]

I'm that type of romantic that actually was really touched about the small things about Colin "Last of the Romantics'' Bridgerton: - Colin defending her, telling her he loved her first and being silly just to make her laugh, happy to dance with her and make her feel beautiful and loved, already so excited that he acts like she's already Mrs. Bridgerton and once she actually is, he clearly loves saying "My wife", being happy to show her their home together; - Colin making sure their first time was good for her, making all about her pleasure and taking pleasure on her enjoyment, reassuring her all the way through and after ; - Colin not being able to pretend he's unhappy about marrying her, encouraging her to come to him at the altar. He was an emotional mess because he loves her and it showed, from his smile, dancing with her, to kissing her and caressing her face: - Colin repressing himself, trying not to sleep with her not because he doesn't love or desire her but because he is the type of guy that needs them to be perfectly connected for that, because that's how it was with her, he loves her and when they did make love it was a complete connection to him and anything less taints what they have, if he still has negative feelings and doubts, but being "weak" when she says i love you, his brain short-circuits and his heart and body acted; - Colin feeling lonely and admitting to himself that it was mostly because Pen didn't reply to his letters, him keeping her letters, and smiling to himself while he reads it; - Colin so heartbroken and sad and yet he is there, in their home, sleeping on that fucking couch but there, not on the streets making her feel insecure about his whereabouts; - Colin learning to love equally, accepting and respecting, admiring her, taking pleasure on her success, unafraid of confessing his feelings and his issues, letting himself be helped and loved back... Those are a few of the things that i love about Colin this season...yes, he lashed out unfairly sometimes, he was stubborn and had his ego bruised at times, but he learned and he never stopped trying to protect her, even if with the wrong approach at times. That, my friends, means to me way more than many sex scenes. But that's just me, i like the details, the in between the lines.

[aeternallis]

Colin's "entrapment" line was hard to listen to, but it was most definitely a sign of how unhinged he really is for Penelope.

Ok but for reals, I'm not sure how everyone else reacted when Colin said his now infamous "entrapment" line, but I just love how if one looks at this line a little more closely, it was definitely some semblance of an underhanded (and also a bit silly, lol) attempt to actually keep Penelope entrapped. Haha, the irony of it all. Idk, at least that was my read on it!

Like, it was definitely said in anger as well; he's hurting, and he’s hurting badly, so of course he wants to hit back in some way, however he can. Luke Newton absolutely meant it when he said that Colin reacts to the reveal in the worst way possible, alas.

My very first reaction to that scene: //pauses the screen to yell at Colin at 4am in the morning, “Entrapment????! If you feel trapped, then why the hell are you still going along with it, ya dumb ass!!!

Because really, think about it: Colin was definitely within his rights to call off the wedding, especially when he'd mentioned that Violet had noticed that he and Penelope had not seen each other for some time. It would have been the perfect time to reveal Penelope's secret to his mother, if indeed he felt entrapped by the LW of it all. Violet is family; if he wanted to still protect Penelope but no longer wanted to marry her, he would have been able to count on Violet's discretion. I'm sure she and Lady Danbury would have come up with some sort of plan to deal with the aftermath regarding the Bridgertons’ reputation, as we'd seen with Anthony and Edwina's botched wedding.

Furthermore, it would have probably been the better option to reveal it to her, since the existence of LW does put his family in danger; Penelope herself knows this. Every decision she makes post-LW reveal to Colin is due to the Bridgertons being in danger. Lady Danbury makes a point of this when she said in the last episode, “There is only one other person who loves the Bridgertons more than I.”

Eloise was able to keep the secret with no real consequences because although Penelope was her ex-bff, El still loves her, and besides that, nothing legal binds them as Colin's marriage to Penelope would.

Even when he was getting ready to talk to Benedict about getting funds to fulfill Cressida’s demands, he insisted on making up a lie to shield Penelope’s identity as LW. He knows more than anything that fulfilling a demand like this, all for the sake of his wife and at the cost of using a substantial amount of Bridgertons’ financial assets, may not put his marriage in the best light within his family. He doesn’t want to be forced to have to choose between his wife and his family, so he’s keen on keeping the lie going.

So for all intents and purposes, he doesn't tell his mother, or any of his other siblings (besides Eloise, who already knew); this in and of itself is hella fucking risky. The fact that Colin is willing to take this risk of withholding Penelope's secret identity from his family, the fact that he doesn't think to jeopardize this potentially risky betrothal—already goes to show the measure in regards to how much he wants Pen for his wife. We the audience know this because he waits until the very last minute to tell Violet, and even then, it's not Colin who chose to reveal it to her, but Penelope herself.

Another point: arguably, we can also say that Colin has a lot more wiggle room with his engagement to Penelope to call off the wedding, much more than he ever did with his engagement to Marina.

"A man of honor"? Exactly what "honor" are we talking about here? Colin claimed that he would have married Marina had she just told him the truth, yet when push came to shove and the truth of her pregnancy was revealed for all the world to know, he still chose to take the out Penelope gave him through LW. It’s easier to make a declaration like that when it’s all said and done. Lol Sure, he regretted it and apologized for his behavior later on, but he had made his choice regardless. Y’all can just feel Marina and Lady Danbury judging this dumb ass (affectionate) for dwelling in the past. Silly young man! XD What's stopping him this time around?

"We had been...intimate." Are you talking about the mirror scene, sir? Because let me assure you, you and Penelope have long been "intimate" way before you decided to buy a love nest and take her V-card the very next day you proposed to her. In fact, this is where the significance of their first kiss in 3.02 rings so, SO importantly and WHY it was vital that it was Penelope who asked and said that it would not have to mean anything. Colin knows Penelope would never use their first time together and/or the heated moment in the carriage as a way to entrap him. That first kiss alone should have already warranted that they get married, but Penelope makes it clear that it’s simply a favor, nothing more.

Oddly enough, I’m surprised Colin doesn’t bring up the idea of a long engagement (yknow, as he initially wanted with Marina, but who’s keeping track at this point), considering that would have potentially benefitted their situation. 🤔 His dumb ass (affectionate) was more than willing to stick to the wedding schedule…huh.

Besides all that, I don’t think it’s the showrunners’ intent to “taint” those special moments between them by changing the context through Colin’s (very biased) POV; to believe that to be the case would be, imo, just a bad faith argument. The genre is romance, y’all; these intimacy scenes are on an entirely different pedestal.

Because remember, that “entrapment” line of Colin’s only came about due to Penelope starting the conversation with, “Are you going to call off the wedding?”

Didn’t it almost seem like an afterthought, that he just came up with it on the spot? Hahaha.

I can bet y’all Cressida’s fake ass €20,000 blackmail money that before they’d met up to discuss wedding breakfast plans with their mamas, it had probably never even occurred to Colin to cancel their wedding. Angry and furious as he was, it was never a question of whether or not he still wanted Penelope for a wife.

The fact that it’s Penelope who begins that conversation and opens that Pandora’s box possibility is so, so damn important. Because not only does it show how much Penelope truly loves him in that she would never trap him, it also shows her maturity, in that she’s willing to face the consequences of her actions. She’s willing to give Colin the choice to back out, heartbreaking as it would be to face it, even if she herself would not be the one to pursue that choice.

She gives him the choice a good number of times: the wedding breakfast plan scene, the wedding day itself when she hesitates on the aisle, and the annulment offer after the butterfly scene.

Penelope defends herself softly, but truthfully: she never meant to entrap him, because she really didn’t. And Colin knows this; he would not still love her and want her if he honestly believed she wanted to entrap him. Hell, even if she did, the audience knows it’s a desire that comes from a good place: she loves him, so of course she doesn’t want to lose him. She wants to marry him, because she loves him. That’s all there is to it.

But despite knowing this (imo, anyway), we can also say that this conversation may have contributed to Colin’s downward spiral during the majority of episode 7 and 8, and why he becomes hella fucking desperate to be “useful” to her.

Because unlike himself, Penelope has now begun to entertain the idea of living a life that doesn’t include him—at least, not as her husband. Penelope is brave and strong enough to let him go due to the pain she caused him for her lies and her actions as LW, and as for Colin…well…

(I love it, it’s the same conundrum that Anthony faced in S2: Kate is strong enough to leave him behind and return to India, but Anthony…well…)

TL;DR, Colin’s entrapment line was literally an excuse he gave himself to keep his betrothal to Penelope intact. It’s a line that works in two ways simultaneously: it’s a painful, childish, underhanded thing to say in order to hurt Penelope’s feelings, to get back at her for the anguish he’s suffered. Yet at the same time, it’s also another excuse he gives himself in order to push through with the marriage, to tie Penelope to himself forever.

Because unlike Penelope, the very idea of living without her as his wife, of not having her in his life, is and always will be an impossible notion for Colin to ever entertain.

[maefansblog]

By Popular Demand, I have procured some fanfictions that I enjoyed based on the tropes that I mentioned. It may seem like a lot, but honestly, this is a starter pack.

(If you don’t like one of them, skip it and choose something that you will like! 💕)

I hope you truly do enjoy reading! 💕

1. Colin and Penelope elope.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/50966071

Guernsey by MissusTarq

https: 1st//archiveofourown.org/works/55460359

Run Away With Me Honey by Katie_500

https://archiveofourown.org/works/46112719

What happens in Gretna Green by Fire_Lily89

2. Penelope runs away from the ton, Colin Finds her

https://archiveofourown.org/works/55353838

The Disappearance of Penelope Featherington By hippiechick7897

https://archiveofourown.org/works/44388109#main

Let me hope you by PolinxFeatherbridge (not in English, but this is so worth it!)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29520279

Mistress of Choice by some_mad_luge

https://archiveofourown.org/works/53390371

I’d crawl to you by Em_with_a_y

https://archiveofourown.org/works/53416630

With Love, Penelope Anne Featherington by Anna071202

https://archiveofourown.org/works/40376523

Scattered Flowers by cortlandia33

https://archiveofourown.org/works/54640174

Flight of the Featherington By Royal Sorcerer

3. Pen tells the Bridgertons about Marina

https://archiveofourown.org/works/49189453

Colin Sees You As You Are by Gah_gah_gah

(This is my absolute favorite!! Hands down!!! Love love love! They keep raising the bar and adding new elements and I love it!) 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

https://archiveofourown.org/works/52163260

Butterfly’s Reverlry by Cassandra Goth

https://archiveofourown.org/works/41858946

Ought to Know, Regardless by logogram

https://archiveofourown.org/works/48690097

Love on the Run by logogram

(mix of Marina &elopement)

4. Penelope gets hurt, and Colin gets in protective mode.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/56026375

Fair ground Attractions by PenelopeR

https://archiveofourown.org/works/56534680

Attentions Sweet Center by clara_may

5. The unwed/unplanned pregnancy.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/39639282

Fill of Love by logogram (this is a series with different endings. Unplanned pregnancy)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/55492477

Ten Fingers, Ten Toes by Em_with_a_y

https://archiveofourown.org/works/56063380

Afterglow by thatgirlinredandgold

https://archiveofourown.org/works/53850778

A Little Piece of You by Mimimoon 2007 (Modern AU/Sad)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/56058757

Lost and Found by Booklover 1217 (still in progress)

6. Married Colin Time travels back to Season 1

https://archiveofourown.org/works/39220443

Romancing ever after by georgialee06

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31632029

Lord Whistledown by M_mck

(This is an incomplete fic^)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/56429677

Love You With My Past & For My Future by At_the_Gates

7. Penelope and Colin's affair (it's only for this couple... you know the show hinted at it)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/56010202

Lady Debling’s Lover by Tinuviel_Undomiel

https://archiveofourown.org/works/55820368

(to be the one) to walk in the sun by DollyPop, starryspindel

https://archiveofourown.org/works/56054719

Penelope married Debling by elhigd

https://archiveofourown.org/works/48389512

Find our Way Back by kermitthefrogstanaccount

https://archiveofourown.org/works/55409005

Illicit affairs by obsidianpurple

https://archiveofourown.org/works/48307435

Stay by LadyThistledown

(Modern AU with Marina)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/39332433

Love Under the Velvet Sky by PaperTulips232

(beautifully written/ Colin and Marina elope, Penelope moves on.)

Lady Whistledown Revealed:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/53768401

A Truth You Can't Unlearn

https://archiveofourown.org/works/38398903

turn around bright eyes By threefundamentaltruths

(This is so devastating! I love it! Eloise reveals who Penelope is and the Family turns on Penelope and Colin.)

Amnesia:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/53768401

But they were real to me by unsavorablefavors

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

Here is a Truly Devastating Piece of Fiction that I only recommend if you need to cry and want to feel bad about your favorite characters. But it's so well written that you sob through the pain. :

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30490611

Let Me Go Whilst You Stay With Me By Leuqar_RappaPort

🙈🙈Oh Colin... You would have loved AO3. 🤣

Hope you all enjoy! Make sure to leave your thoughts in reblogs/tags/or the message! I love to read them! Have you read any of these? What were your thoughts?

Also, if you have any recommendations, send them my way! 💕

This was an idea sparked from my last post:

@mostharshrepose @karis-the-fangirl and anyone from my last post:

I hope this helps. 💕

[lissa-edem]

Eloise: HE'S A DAMN IDIOT!!!

Benedict: Colin? yeah, fair enough.

Anthony: what happened?

Eloise: you know, after they'd had sex, Pen said it was only friendship. and now our GENIUS brother asks Pen to marry him as his FRIEND.

Benedict: fuck... have you already planed his murder?

Anthony: wait, I'll call Kate. we are in.

[love-byers]

i am afraid no one gets him like i do. yes he's a whore slut rake boy but he's also not

colin may need to occasionally go to horny jail but what he really yearns for is love and connection. he has always yearned for it. sex is good but sex on its own is not fulfilling to him. marina broke his heart, he truly wanted to care for her and love her and be loved. even before he fell for penelope he wrote about his sexual encounters so beautifully unlike any man of that era ever would. after a while he lost interest in it because it lacked something, love and genuine connection. he's a romantic people!!! he's a hopeless romantic trying to be a flirtatious bachelor, and it's a facade he can't keep up! he's a writer, a dreamer, he wants something pure and true. at the gentleman's club he says something i find so beautiful and pure, he questions why men must act nonchalant about their sex life when it is one of the only things in life with true meaning. and he gets LAUGHED AT!!! the part of the carriage scene where pen strokes his face and hair and he completely melts into her touch is, don't get me wrong, HOT!!!!! but it was even sweeter to me because it's not just that he is so horny for penelope he can't stand it anymore, but he is getting what he's yearned for. the connection, the touch that means something. the touch that carries love with it. this is also why the dream and kiss with pen got him so down bad. he unexpectedly felt something he had been yearning and searching for maybe without realizing it, love and connection! and once pen accepts his confession, he is head over heels in love obsessed and ready to marry her.

what lady whistledown wrote about him not being his true self really embodies his arc this season. colin in earlier seasons was acknowledged as having never been to a brothel and not being this all knowing sex god he pretends to be in 3. who colin truly is is someone who wants his sexual encounters to mean something, who sees sex as a moment of connection between two people rather than just pleasure. for that time, that was pretty beautiful.

and also the fact that when he's with the sex workers they are the ones all over him pleasing him, but with penelope he is pleasing her. he yearns for love, to feel and give love, not just to receive it.

COLIN BRIDGERTON GET BEHIND ME I WILL PROTECT YOU

(this is directed at people mostly on tiktok who watched the show with their eyes closed complaining about how they wanted colin to be a virgin and hate that they made him sexually experienced & a man whore KEEP MY SONS NAME OUT YO MOTHAFUCKING MOUTH)

[rose-edith]

Being a plus size Bridgerton sister would include:

•All your life you’d felt like an imposter, bigger than your sisters- sturdier- curvier. You felt less than, despite being physically more than. And you felt that no one ever really understood that.

•Your mother and Lady Danbury saw no flaws in you, thought you were absolutely beautiful, and kind and clever- but they believed you were simply crippling shy. So naturally, they went out of their way to help ‘bring you out of your shell’. Which yes, was as utterly hellish as it sounds! It meant rounds of introductions to eligible men, being pushed to the centre stage at all family functions, dressed in more jewels than anyone else. They really wanted to make you sparkle, because to them, you were already a diamond. You had been the apple of your Father’s eye before his death, and everytime Violet looked at you, it was Edmund she could see.

•as for the Queen? You may well not exist. She wasn’t even the slightest bit perplexed or excited by you. Which suited you fine!

•Anthony is SO protective of you, and following his marriage to Kate, she becomes protective of you too. Kate and Anthony stare at any members of the ton who even dream of thinking anything unkind.

•On his travels, Colin makes sure to collect for you the most beautiful jewellery or paintings or fabrics. Colin is tender with all his siblings, but he’s the one who listens to you most when you’re upset- he’s the one who sees it, and does his best to support you and build your confidence. Whether it’s fashionable or not to dance with your own sister, Colin will always take you for at least one turn about the floor; he can’t bare for you to be overlooked or be left ‘on the shelf’.

•Benedict is also your number one fan, at balls and social events he’ll often help you to escape- whether he takes you for a turn about the room, to get a drink, or to help you leave early if you’re just not feeling it.

•Growing up, you couldn’t help but be envious of Daphne, of her looks, her success on the marriage mart, her beautiful life with Simon. But as you grew, she showed you that real beauty comes from within anyway. Simon loves you too, finding you to be amusing, clever and witty. As for their children- well, you’re their favourite Aunt!

•Eloise was aloof as ever, she understood rationally and practically why you were somewhat on the outskirts of society. But she enjoyed not being the only one on the outside looking in; and sometimes when she needed an out you would cause a diversion, and vice versa; Eloise was an ally!

•and hand in hand with Eloise came a friendship with Penelope. You realised almost immediately that Pen was Lady Whistledown, but you never told a soul. Not Pen, not Eloise, not anyone. You were proud of Pen for using the harsh reality of a lonely life to create something meaningful; to carve her own career. Penelope was your friend, though she was Eloise’s best friend. She was at your side when Cressida cut across your heart with her barbs and remarks, and when Cressida “accidentally” cut Penelope up, spilt her drink or split her dress, you would retaliate in kind- most notably resulting in her perfectly smoothed down hair getting dislodged when she “tripped” over your out-stretched foot at the drinks table. ‘Poor Cressida!’ You had cried with devilish delight. ‘What an awful spectacle to befall you!’ The music stopped and everyone turned to look as the mighty Cressida crumbled. What an elated victory indeed.

•Francesca was in and out of your lives, going to Bath and escaping the misery of a lonely life in London. But she would send you music; and suddenly the world wasn’t so blue.

•Your favourite people of all to be around though? Hyacinth and Gregory. They were young, brains like sponges ready to learn and laugh and they love you without reservation. You spend afternoons drilling them with dances, playing archery, games, stealing cakes from the kitchens.

•but like all your family, there’s only one thing you ever wanted really: to find love. You just weren’t foolish enough to believe you’d find it yet, but maybe, just maybe, you’d be surprised when love fell directly into your lap.

[consoledacup]

Ode to the Street Scene

I really thought my favorite scene was the wedding dance. It cuts away to no one in the room, and my heart just swells from the romance. And that cheek caress at the end? Butterflies!

But every time I rewatch, I have to pause the show and just sit with certain beats of my actual favorite scene because I'm so overcome. The writing is so fantastically good. Verica's directing is perfect. The scoring is angsty and beautiful. And Luke and Nicola deliver incredible performances. The give-and-take of this fight is exceptional, and their chemistry is electric.

This confrontation is one that is years in the making. And as they fight, they address all of it. He's only known about her Whistledown identity for a short time, so this fight was always going to be incredibly heightened and passionate. But we also get so much truth in this exchange, too.

Colin's leaving the saddest stag party ever. I'm sure he also felt weirdly guilty for not being ecstatic about it. Especially because the three gentlemen with him witnessed Colin-heart eyes-Bridgerton not a week ago. So they notice something is wrong, and he really doesn't want to talk about it.

Penelope's leaving her good friend and business confidant. And I love the little hesitation Genevieve has before asking Penelope if she'd continue publishing. She adores Penelope and has been such a fantastic support for her. So although Penelope feels like she's unworthy of Colin after everything that has happened, Genevieve is steadfast in encouraging her to not give up a huge part of herself.

So they run into each other, and Colin is immediately furious. He is shocked to see her, his Pen, out alone at night. And then he's like, well, she's Whistledown. She was doing this all along, right under my nose, having a laugh. And Penelope can probably smell the alcohol on him and is fed up with being the bad guy at this point. So she bates him because good grief, can he just look at her??

And he immediately lays into her. I really love Luke's rhythmic delivery here:

After all of the secrets you have kept, all of the things you have written over the years, all of the damage you have done.

And I love how Penelope immediately takes responsibility and apologizes. Two people have found out about her identity prior to Colin. Genevieve needs no explanation for why Penelope did what she did. And Eloise is so heartbroken and betrayed and humiliated, she has no room for Penelope's motivations.

But as angry as Colin is, he listens. And they go through her past transgressions, point by point. He asks about Eloise, as the protective brother he is, and receives a somewhat satisfactory response.

And then he asks about Marina, and Penelope is essentially like, I was saving you. For White Knight Colin Bridgerton, that is almost too much for him to take. If we go back to that scene when Penelope tells Colin about George, she purposely leaves out her pregnancy. That was deliberate. She might've gotten dismissed by him and interrupted by Marina, but she was always going to lead with, "well, she has a lover back home." Because she was terrified Colin would mount his white horse and see it as his duty to rescue Marina all the same. As a 17-year-old girl, who had incredible power, she saw no choice but to manipulate his future. That was a bad move, and she knows it.

Which is why he's like, do you really have that little respect for me? Because he reveals what cuts him the most. Whistledown called him out, belittling him. And then he finds out that the most important person in his life, his entire world, wrote that about him. And is that truly how she feels about him when he thinks she hung the moon and stars?

And that's when this fight takes a turn as Penelope lays bare everything she loves about him. She was like, I missed you just like you missed me. Here's where I praise Nicola's rhythmic delivery:

It's you. Kind, feeling, occasionally excitable good-hearted man who I love.

Even the way she says "man who I love" is just so matter-of-fact. Of course she loves him. When is he gonna get that?

Every episode this season, we see Penelope subtly gain more and more confidence. Which is why this payoff is so delicious because she has finally developed the confidence, that he helped her find, to stand up to him.

So he takes that all in, and in an almost hopeful way, he's like, well, I helped you gain confidence, and you have me now, so you really don't need Whistledown, right? You don't need to be more powerful than me. And she's a little taken aback by his plea but stands her ground, patiently explaining why Whistledown is important. Which breaks his heart because he feels that, deep down, Penelope surpasses him in talent and ambition.

Remember their engagement party when Penelope and Eloise take turns answering the riddles? He is proud of Penelope, and he is concerned something is going on with her, but he is also, plainly, jealous. Anthony obviously steals the scene with his competitiveness, but you see Colin sitting up a little straighter, wanting to impress everyone else with his quick wit. And each time Penelope or Eloise get the answer right, he deflates a little. He's always known Penelope to be incredibly smart, but now that he's desperately in love with her, he is terrified that she doesn't see him as her intellectual equal. And his fears are confirmed when he finds out she's the sharpest tongue in the ton.

He's honest about how patronized he feels, thinking about her hyping up his journal. His eyes are welling up because good god, he does not understand why she just won't choose him over Whistledown. And he chooses that moment to assert his physical dominance and join her on the step so he towers over her. He goes for broke, berating her for her carelessness, and she's not having it.

And this interplay between Luke and Nicola is like a perfect volley:

I have been careful.

You have been foolish.

Colin, I can take care of myself.

Then what good am I to you?!

And Penelope just snaps. She tells him she loves him which snaps him out of his spiral, and they finally allow their passion for each other to take over. And their physicality shows how relieved they feel in each others' embrace. Their kiss is like coming home, and they're like, thank GOD you want me like I still want you.

They're not thinking much else, but I do wonder if Colin in the back of his mind is like, she may not need my brain or my protection, and I have no title, and I can only provide her a townhome, but by god, I can give her pleasure. I think it says something that Colin's go-to move is his hands. He wants to bring her to ecstasy as expediently as possible, finding his own pleasure in hers.

Thankfully, they are interrupted because they really don't need another scandal. They were debauching each other in the street! That is an absolutely wild thing for them to do, and Colin has enough wherewithal to keep her shielded, quickly falling into his coveted protector role.

He holds her hand and walks her to her carriage. Their goodbye is tense, but he assures her that she doesn't have to worry about him. He will be at the church on time. He is still choosing a life with her, and is, of sound mind and body, intentionally entering into a union with Lady Whistledown. And then he watches her carriage leave.

Perfect, heartbreaking, passionate, angsty, emotional, sexy, honest, cathartic, electric, romantic scene from start to finish.

[in-my-feels-probably]

Home - Benedict Bridgerton x Reader

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Request: Have you considered Benedict falling for a friend of Daphne's? Like if they're as close as Pen and Eloise but maybe with a little less drama? I think it would be funny for Benedict to ask for advice on how to talk to her and Daph being done. Just "you've known her for as long as I have."

Hi! Thank you again for the request, this is such a cute idea. I hope you don’t mind, but I made the reader a Featherington. I went a little off track too, it was easier for me to write that way. If this isn’t what you were looking for, I’m happy to take another request or alter this one. Sorry for the long wait on getting this out, but I hope you enjoy this :)

(Warnings: insecurity, middle child trauma, nothing else i think? idk, let me know if i missed anything)

—

Living in Grosvenor Square certainly had its ups and downs.

On one hand, you were mere steps away from your best friends. The Bridgertons lived right across the street, and you could visit them practically whenever you wanted. On the other hand—the not so nice hand—your family is the Featherington’s. Which isn’t an inherently bad thing. You loved your family, and could ignore most of the negatives. It just certainly has its pitfalls, being a Featherington daughter.

The Featherington’s—while rich and somewhat dignified—aren’t considered to be the most respectable of families. There wasn’t any one main reason why members of the ton didn’t much like your family, they just didn’t.

It wasn’t a personal grudge with you they had. In fact, you were quite liked by the ton.

More often than not, however, they didn’t pay much attention to you. It was easy to forget you were there when the rest of your family was the center of attention.

You were born soon after Phillipa but before Penelope, making you a middle child.

Your Mother seemed to connect with her eldest far more than her youngest, and that put a strain on your relationship. Not only that, you were much more akin to Penelope, having a lot more in common with her than your older sisters and your Mother combined. You were a bit of a wallflower, like Penelope, and it was a hard trait for your Mother to get past.

It wasn’t all negatives, though.

One of the biggest perks of being a Featherington was the fact that you lived directly across from the Bridgertons. You had spent most of your life over at their residence since the day you developed the ability to walk.

And, subsequently, the ability to walk across the street.

Violet Bridgerton’s first girl—Daphne—was born right around the same time as you were, and she decided Daphne was going to need a friend. Being the first girl born to a family of three brothers was a challenge, and Violet thought it best that Daphne should be able to socialize with a girl her age.

By the time you were both able to talk, you became inseparable. Just as your sister Penelope had come to develop a deep friendship with Eloise Bridgerton, you had come to develop your own with Daphne.

And by extension, you became good friends with her eldest brothers.

Anthony was the oldest, quite a bit older than you. He was already a handful of trouble by the time you showed up, and he already had plenty of practice teasing girls with his sisters as victims. In your first few years, he’d make it his mission each time you visited the house to fluster you, and annoy Daphne. It was harmless fun, and it never really bothered you, although he tried his hardest nonetheless. But as you got older, he became quite protective over you. It was like you were another sister to him, and you definitely bantered and squabbled like siblings do. As annoying as he could be, you loved him like a brother.

Colin was a similar story, although you saw something more to him. It was easy to, with the way Penelope talked about him endlessly. She could ramble for hours, making you listen to every painstaking detail. You definitely understood her affection for him, though. He’s charming and kind, much like his other brothers, but he’s also fun and witty. Daphne tended to favor him the most. They were closest in age, after all. Between her and Penelope, you spent quite a lot of time with him, and you certainly enjoyed his company.

But—besides Daphne—you enjoyed no other Bridgerton’s company like you did Benedict’s.

Benedict was different. He was more.

He was just as kind and charming as Anthony, and just as witty as Colin—certainly as annoyingly beautiful as Daphne—but he was more than that, too. He was sensitive and sweet, far more so than the rest of the Lords of the ton. He was passionate about art and love and valuing the little things. He didn’t care about marrying the prettiest girl for advantage, or inheriting her dowry. He cared about pursuing his dreams, and inspiring others to do the same.

Just the way he talked about his passions and values was enough to make any girl swoon, and yet he was still genuine with his words. It wasn’t for flattery or manipulation, he meant every word. Everything he did, he did for himself and the people he loves.

If it weren’t for Daphne currently holding the number one spot, you’d consider him your best friend.

He’d consider you the same.

You spend just as much time with him as you do with Daphne, and over the years, he’d come to cherish your company.

You saw him for him, not for his title. You listened to his endearing ramblings about his passions because you genuinely enjoyed hearing about them, not because you felt obligated to listen. You treated him like a person, not a prize to be won. It was all he could ask for in a best friend.

But that’s just it. That’s all you were to him. A best friend.

He was so sure that was all you’d ever be. Perhaps one day you’d be his sister in law, considering how close Penelope and Colin had gotten. You’d be family, and that was alright with him. It was what he expected. And then the unexpected happened.

He started falling.

—

The first time he noticed his feelings for you had shifted was the evening of a ball the Queen was throwing.

You’d come over early to get dressed with Daphne, wanting to help make sure she was perfect. She had finally revealed to you her ruse she was sharing with the Duke, you being the first person outside of their agreement to know. You were shocked at first, but as you listened to her speak, you gave her a knowing smile.

“You love him.”

Her eyes widened in shock, her cheeks blushing a rosy pink. “What? Why would you say that?”

“You love him,” you said again, smiling gently at her. “I’ve never seen you speak with such passion. With the way you talk about him, there’s no other possibility. One couldn’t possibly think that highly of another without feelings being involved—”

“You speak of my brother like that,” Daphne interrupted, chuckling when you swallowed your words.

You chose to ignore her statement, continuing to advise her on the best course of action for how to get through the remainder of her agreed upon days with the Duke. If the way he looked at her without her knowing was of any consequence, you were sure he felt the same way about her. All she had to do was make him see that.

When it was time to leave for the ball, all the Bridgerton’s piled into carriages. Daphne was hurried out the door, and she left with her Mother and Anthony, leaving you behind. When you tried to head back home to be escorted by your family, Benedict stopped you.

He had opened and closed his mouth a few times before he was able to choke out any words. Normally, he found it pretty easy to talk to you. But for some reason, the sight of you standing by his front door made his knees weak.

“I’m afraid they’ve already left,” he finally said, stopping you at the door. “They must have assumed you’d be accompanied by us.”

You groaned, feeling a pit form in your stomach. “I have no other way to get there. I promised Daphne I’d be there for her. Pen, too. She seemed quite nervous about attending tonight.”

“Not to worry,” he smiled, offering you his arm. “You can ride with me.”

You sighed in relief, thanking him profusely. “Well, aren’t you a lifesaver? Thank you, Benedict.”

“Of course,” he nodded, helping you into the carriage.

As you settled into your seat, a thought occurred to you. “Benedict…why are you still here? Not that I’m not grateful, but I don’t understand. You’ve been talking about going to the palace for days to see the Queen’s gallery. I would have expected you to be the first one out the door. But here you are.”

He was quiet for a moment as he took in your words, his eyes softening on you.

There were many things he could have said to you to easily explain it away. I’ll see the gallery soon anyways, or, I promised my Mother and yours that I’d make sure you got there safely. Numerous excuses he could have come up with to satisfy your curiosity, and yet, all that was coming to mind was, I can see the gallery another time, but I may never get to see you alone and sitting in front of me looking this beautiful with your undivided attention again, and I won’t pass up on the opportunity for anything.

“I don’t know,” he finally said as he shrugged his shoulders, feigning innocence. “But here I am.”

—

He didn’t truly acknowledge his feelings for you until months later, after attempting to ignore it for so long.

The second time he noticed was when he found out that the only reason he got into art school was because Anthony made a sizable donation to the Academy.

You had found him alone during yet another ton gathering, sulking on the edge of the party. Daphne had already gone home to Simon, and wouldn’t return for some time. Besides Penelope—and occasionally Eloise—Benedict was one of the only people you actually liked enough to be around. And seeing as both Penelope and Eloise were nowhere to be found, Benedict was your only hope.

You just hadn’t expected to find him nearly in tears, anxiously tugging at the cufflinks at the bottom of his sleeve.

It didn’t take much to get him to spill, and you found yourself pulling him inside to keep him away from prying eyes while he was in such a state. He told you all about Anthony’s meddling, and you knew it had crushed his heart to find out that he hadn’t actually achieved anything on his own.

“I know he did it out of the good of his heart…but I wish he hadn’t done it at all.”

He brought his hands up to cover his face, groaning into them. You reached for his wrists and tried to pull them away, but he wouldn’t budge. He finally relented when you said his name softly, letting you take his hands in yours.

“Benedict, it doesn’t matter how you got in. You’re an incredible artist, that’s all that matters,” you said softly, squeezing his hand in yours.

He shook his head, sighing in frustration. “I’m not. My work is child’s play compared to the other artists at the Academy. They all knew why I had even been given a spot in the first place. I’m an imposter, Y/N. A fraud. It was humiliating.”

“That’s a bit dramatic, darling,” you lightly chuckled, your smile fading when his defeated look didn’t waver.

“Alright, that’s it. Fess up. This can’t be all that’s bothering you. I know you, and I know you’re not one to give up that easily. You’ve been flustered all week, so what is it? You can tell me. Not that I have anyone to tell, but I won’t tell. I promise.”

His eyes softened on you as you spoke, and you could feel his grip on your hand get tighter. “I just…I’m tired.”

“Of what?”

“Of being second.”

You frowned, swiping your thumb across the back of his hand. “I don’t understand.”

“It’s just something Anthony said,” he murmured, keeping his eyes on your joined hands. “How I may be the second son, but that it doesn’t mean I am any less required to do my duties to the family. It’s rich coming from him. I’ve been second to him literally my entire life, and he’s only recently started taking his role seriously. I’ve played Father’s role since his passing. Isn’t it just my luck that he’s getting the credit for it?”

“You may be second to him in birth, but that is the only way you’re second. You’re every bit as good as him, Benedict,” you said firmly, but you weren’t sure if your words were sinking in.

He was uncharacteristically quiet, though his grip on your hands hadn’t wavered. His eyes were still on the floor, and his shoulders were shaking as he took uneven breaths.

“I know what that feels like, you know,” you finally said, making him glance up at you. “I’m a Featherington. A middle child at that, and it’s no secret my Mother favors my older sisters.”

Benedict let out a small laugh, shaking his head. “She’s wrong to. I don’t mean to be rude, but you and Pen are worlds more interesting and gracious than your sisters. The eldest, at least.”

“You don’t even know them,” you said in shock, but you couldn’t stop yourself from laughing, too.

“I don’t need to. You’re the only one I’m interested in knowing. Middle child or not.”

You couldn’t help but smile, although his kind words weren’t enough. The more you thought about just how second to the world you were, the more your smile faded.

“It’s not just being the middle child,” you continued, speaking softly. “I love your sister more than almost anything in this whole world, but I have always been second to her, too. She was the diamond of the season the second she was let out of leading strings, and now she’s my Duchess. I’m so happy for her, but it does put a damper on your confidence. Watching your best friend grow into this person everyone loves, and it’s like she didn’t even try.”

“Y/N—”

“Sometimes I feel awful, thinking this way. I know she tried, I was there for her every time she’d get overwhelmed. But she made it look so easy. I don’t know how she did it,” you rambled, taking a shuddering breath as you stopped yourself from speaking.

Benedict’s eyes softened on you as you spoke, making you want to shrink away from his gaze. He was being kind, and you didn’t know if it was genuine or not. If he was faking it for your sake, that was much worse than his actual pity.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make this about me, let’s get back to you—”

“Y/N,” he said again, this time effectively silencing you. “You can’t possibly feel that way.”

It was your turn to look at the floor. “Why shouldn’t I? It’s true.”

“That is the furthest thing from the truth,” he said gently, taking your hand. “You’re every bit as good as my sister. I know she makes things look easy, but she spoke just as highly of you as you do of her.”

You raised a brow. “Really?”

“Really. She used to tell me how kind you were to her, even after Lady Whistledown printed her supposed scandals. You were never judgemental.”

“I have no right to judge anyone, especially not her. She’s never said a bad thing about anyone, it isn’t right that people just took a scandal sheet as truth. And, if anything, she was kind to me. She, Eloise, Colin, and you are pretty much the only members of the ton that treat me like a normal person and not an outcast because of who my family is.”

Benedict smiled, squeezing your hand. “I would never dream of treating you any other way.”

You fought the flush that crept up to your cheeks, feeling the heat settle in them. You cleared your throat, shaking your head.

“Anyway,” you smiled, meeting his eyes. “I don’t mean to keep you away. Should we go back to the party? Someone may be looking for you. You’re quite popular, you know.”

Benedict couldn’t help but smile. And as he watched you look up at him through gentle eyes and an open heart, he couldn’t bring himself to move. It was like his feet were stuck to the floor, and he didn’t want to do anything to pull them up. He shook his head, keeping his hand in yours.

“No,” he finally answered, taking a seat. “Let them look. I’d much rather spend my evening with you. If you’ll allow me to, that is.”

You shook your head, taking a seat next to him. “I’ve got nowhere I’d rather be.”

—

The third time he noticed was when you, Daphne, and he accompanied Penelope and Colin to promenade throughout the square. She and Simon had come to visit, and she wanted to spend time with you and her family.

This time, he couldn’t ignore his feelings.

You followed behind Colin and Penelope, giving them enough room to speak privately without feeling like their older siblings were on their backs. You smiled as you watched Penelope look up at him, Colin being as gentlemanly as ever.

“It took him long enough,” you said, making Benedict chuckle.

“I thought he’d never figure it out.”

“Me either,” you agreed, grinning as you watched Colin smile down at your sister. “I should bash him over the head. I’ve listened to Pen spend countless hours rambling on about how utterly oblivious Colin can be. He owes me a debt.”

“He isn’t the only oblivious person I know,” Daphne piped in, making your eyes widen.

You had told her countless times about your feelings for Benedict, and how he never seemed to reciprocate them.

What you didn’t know is that he had done the same, on more than one occasion going to his siblings for advice on how to address them. Pushing them down until he couldn’t feel them seemed to be working, at least until now. And as far as he knew, you didn’t reciprocate his feelings either.

“I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you said nervously, silently pleading with her to drop the subject.

“Neither do I,” Benedict added, making Daphne chuckle.

She just grinned, ever so slightly raising a brow. “I mean Anthony, of course. It took him quite a while to realize that what he felt for Kate was much more than rivalry. I practically had to beg it out of him.”

“You’re a little matchmaker, aren’t you?” You asked, smiling at her. “Who’s next? Eloise, perhaps?”

“Perhaps…you?”

You immediately stilled, making them stop, too. “Me?”

“Don’t look so surprised, Y/N. You’ve been my best friend for ages, and I know what’s good for you. You’re lonely. And as awful as it is, the ton will start to talk. If the only people you talk to outside of your own family are Benedict and I, they’ll begin to notice.”

You frowned, nodding. She was right. Harsh, but right. The threat of becoming a spinster was looming over your head every season, and it had only gotten worse after Daphne married in her first season. Your second season came and went, and you were now in your third.

Without any prospects.

And it was looking like your baby sister was going to beat you to the punch as well. You were silent, a small frown on your face.

Thankfully, Benedict broke the silence. Just the thought of you marrying someone—especially someone who didn’t deserve you—made his skin crawl. He felt like he could keel over, and by the look on your face, he could tell you were feeling similarly. He couldn’t keep himself from turning you away from Daphne’s advice.

“Why settle?” He asked cautiously, giving you a sympathetic look. “Don’t let the ton pressure you. You’ll know when it’s the right time.”

You had fully made it around the square, now back in front of your house. Penelope was saying goodbye to Colin, at least for the moment. His Mother invited you and Penelope to dinner to welcome Simon and Daphne home, and so they’d see each other again in mere hours.

You gave Benedict a grateful smile, nodding. “You’re right. Thank you. If you’ll excuse me, I think it’s time to pull our siblings apart before they actually become attached at the hip. Mother wants us home before we join you later.”

Daphne chuckled, taking your hands in hers. “I think you’re right. I’ll see you soon, dearest.”

You squeezed her hands in yours, before going to gather your sister. You gave Colin a knowing smile, turning and heading inside with your sister in tow. The Bridgerton’s did the same, filing into their house one by one.

The second Benedict shut the door behind him, he collapsed against it, groaning. “What was all that for, Daph?”

“What? I was simply giving you both a little nudge. God knows you needed one. You’re even worse than Colin was, brother.”

“I don’t need a nudge. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”

Colin laughed, taking off his coat as he headed up the stairs. “I could hear your stuttering. It was laughable.”

“Oh, piss off,” Benedict pouted, waving away Colin as he chuckled the rest of the way up the stairs.

Daphne offered him a small smile, letting out a sigh. She took his arm, leading them to the sitting room. After promptly sitting down, she gave him an expectant look, and he reluctantly sat next to her.

“Out with it,” she urged. “Why did our conversation with Y/N bother you so?”

“I don’t know,” he huffed, shaking his head.

Daphne narrowed her eyes, speaking gently but firmly. “You do know, Benedict. Admit it. You feel something for her.”

“Does it matter? She doesn’t feel the same way.”

“How could you possibly know that?” Daphne exasperatedly asked, nearly bursting at the seams.

She knew of both your affections for each other, and yet, she couldn’t bring herself to tell either of you about the other. It didn’t feel right, going behind the other’s back. She had decided the moment she knew of each of your feelings to let the matter run its own course. What she hadn’t anticipated was it taking this long.

It was getting near impossible to keep the secret, and she decided a little meddling was excusable.

“She’s never said anything to me that would allude to her feeling anything for me. What would you have me do? Ask her directly?”

“There’s an idea,” Daphne shrugged.

Benedict sighed, trying to shove down the anxiety he felt at the thought of confronting you. “You saw me out there. I wouldn’t even know where to start. How do I talk to her?”

“You’ve known her as long as I have, brother. She’s your best friend! Just talk to her. She’ll understand, I promise. She won’t hurt your feelings if that’s what you’re worried about. You know she won’t.”

“Then why do I feel like I’m going to be sick at the mere thought of talking to her about it?”

Daphne smiled, her eyes softening. “Because you love her.”

Benedict’s shoulders fell, like Daphne just saying it out loud was the first time he was admitting it to himself. Like his feelings hadn’t fully sunk in, and now they were hitting him all at once like a freight train. It was a realization for him, and it both excited and terrified him at the same time. His emotion was clear on his face as his mouth fell open, making Daphne’s smile widen.

“Don’t worry, brother,” she reassured him. “It will all work out. I truly believe that. Take the afternoon to yourself, and keep your mind off of it till dinner. You’ll know the right thing to say when it’s time.”

—

That evening, you returned to the Bridgerton’s residence with Penelope.

The family gathered in the sitting room before dinner was ready, but Daphne pulled you away before you could follow. She took you all the way to the backyard, sitting down on the swing. She motioned for you to follow, and you took a seat on the swing next to her.

“I wanted to apologize about earlier,” she said softly. “I saw your face, I know I upset you. That wasn’t my intention, and I hope you can forgive me.”

You shook your head. “Don’t apologize. I needed to hear it. I might not like it, but I needed to hear it.”

“It hurt, Y/N. You don’t have to minimize that to spare my feelings. It’s alright to admit it. Do you…do you want to talk about it? I think there’s something more to it that’s bothering you, love.”

She was right.

Of course she was, she was always right. You sighed, turning to look back through the window into the house. You could see Penelope standing with the rest of the family, laughing at something Colin was telling her. He was smiling down at her like she had hung every star in the sky, just so he could have the chance to watch them sparkle. It was beautiful.

And it was painful.

“I just,” you started, keeping your eyes on Penelope. “I’m happy for her. I’m so happy for her. But I’m feeling a bit left behind.”

Daphne took your hand, leaning closer. “What do you mean?”

“I feel so selfish saying this, but…it’s what I want. She’s getting all that I want. All my life, I’ve wanted what you and your family have. You’re all so loved, and you love each other so deeply. Pen deserves that, I want her to have that. And I have no doubt that by the end of the season, she’ll have it. She’ll marry Colin, and officially be a Bridgerton. Part of the family. But she won’t be mine anymore. And I won’t be hers.”

Daphne frowned, squeezing your hand in hers. She turned you to meet her eyes, giving you a knowing look.

“I have a feeling this has more to do with a certain brother of mine. And I don’t mean Colin.”

You frowned, and she knew she was right.

“This is about Benedict. With Penelope being with Colin, it’s a reminder that you’re not with him. And you want to be with him.”

You couldn’t deny your feelings any longer. “I do. God, I really do. But it’s more than that. I want to be his family. I want to be your family.”

“And you’ve had to silently watch Penelope get what you’ve been waiting for,” Daphne said in realization, her heart breaking when you nodded.

Daphne stood up, pulling you with her. She wrapped you into a tight hug, refusing to relent until you hugged her back. You sighed in frustration, letting her gently rock you back and forth.

“Y/N,” she said softly, pulling away. “You’re already my sister. Regardless of who you end up with, whether it’s my brother or not. Wherever you end up, it doesn’t matter. You will always be my sister. You never have to worry about that. Not ever.”

You smiled softly, squeezing her hands. Just as you opened your mouth to speak, a throat cleared behind you. You quickly turned to see Benedict standing at the door.

“Mother told me to come collect you both. Dinner will be soon. Daph, Simon is asking after you.”

Daphne nodded, turning back to you. “Come along, then.”

“Actually,” Benedict interrupted, his eyes falling on you. “Could I have a moment alone with Y/N, please? If it’s alright with you.”

“Of course,” you said nervously, nodding towards Daphne.

Daphne smiled, nodding back. She patted Benedict on the shoulder as she headed back inside, closing the door behind her.

When she was gone, Benedict gave you a sheepish smile. He motioned for you to sit down, and you took a seat on the swing. He sat on the swing next to you, turning his body so that he was facing you. His knees brushed yours as he settled.

“What is it?” You asked, giving him all your attention.

“I just wanted to make sure you’re alright.”

Your eyes softened on him, and you laid your hand on his arm. “I’m alright, Ben. Better now, since you’ve arrived.”

“Cheesy,” he smiled, but his heart was fluttering in his chest. “You know how to make a man smile, don’t you?”

“I didn’t think I was doing anything in particular,” you shrugged.

Benedict’s smile widened, and he couldn’t help but ponder his feelings for you. From the moment he found you alone on his doorstep, to when you took care of him at his lowest. From the way you treated his family, to the selflessness you never failed to put before your own wishes. From the way you made him feel, to the way he so desperately hoped you felt. He couldn’t stop himself from confessing, hoping his words wouldn’t come back to haunt him.

“I have to tell you something,” he murmured, taking a shuddering breath after he realized what he said, and what he was about to do.

You nodded. “What is it?”

“I think—and in case this is a huge mistake on my part, please forgive me—but, I think…I think I’m in love with you.”

You stiffened, standing up from the swing. “What?”

“I,” he stuttered, standing up as well. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what I was—”

You cut him off, taking his hands in yours. “Say it again.”

Benedict’s eyes widened, and you had caught him at a loss for words. He felt like you had punched him in the gut, sending him to his knees. But he nodded, squeezing your hands in his.

“I love you,” he said again, softer this time as he looked at you through gentle eyes. “I’ve loved you from the moment you got into that carriage with me, and I’ve loved you every moment since. I love you.”

Your shoulders fell, and you could feel the tears welling in your eyes. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding, clinging tightly to his hands. You felt like your knees could give out, and the only thing holding you up was him.

“You’re not lying? You’re serious?”

Benedict almost laughed, nodding. “Yes, Y/N. I’m serious. Do you really think I would jest about this?”

You couldn’t help but laugh as well, bringing a hand up to cover your mouth. “All that time. All that time, and you couldn’t tell me? You certainly waited long enough.”

“I’m afraid I don’t understand, darling,” he said, cocking his head in confusion.

You were starting to worry him now, concern written all over his face. It made your heart clench in your chest.

You smiled, wrapping your arms around his neck. You were so happy, you couldn’t help but hold him close, smiling wider when you felt his arms wrap around your waist, despite his confusion. You held him tight, standing up on your toes so he could hear you loud and clear.

“I love you too, Benedict.”

He instantly pulled away, holding you back at arms length. “You what?”

“I love you,” you said again, taking his hands. “And I’ve been waiting ages for the day you’d finally tell me you felt the same. I never thought I’d hear you say the words, but I am so happy that you did.”

It was his turn to ask. “You’re serious? This isn’t a joke?”

You shook your head, and he squeezed your hands. You brought one of your joined hands up to press a kiss to the back of his, smiling up at him.

“I’ve never been more serious about anything in my entire life.”

—

A/N - Hi! I’m so sorry this took so long, it took me a long time to figure out what I wanted to write. Not sure why this one was so difficult, but I finished it! I hope you enjoyed it :)

[pensbridge]

Colin Bridgerton saying "what good am I to you" - He just wants to feel needed. Because he never has. Third son. No responsibilities next to his brothers. That makes a hero-complex. He still wanted to marry Marina for the simple act to save her and she tried to trap him with a baby that wasn't his. All he's ever wanted is to feel useful. Because that's all he thinks he's good for. He thinks his value lies in being needed, not wanted. In his mind if Pen doesn't need him for something, he might as well prepare for the day to lose her. Because what good and value will he provide to her without the passed down financial stability, the physical strength to haul a hot air balloon so that she is safe, and the ability to protect like in the Cousin Jack scheme.

And then Pen says in the trailer, "I have always loved you." *cries*