#brendon was super obvious haha

[bunney0-atthedisco]

This validates for me as to why DOAB is the one that got the GRAMMY (even while nominated against artists I didn't think he could surpass to be honest - but it just goes to show hey!... how could have doubted him

Best album AND best rock song that year. I remember watching him get honoured by Billboard aswell in Vegas that year and he was given a key the the city .... the key to VEGAS haha,

super cool!

and omg he was

super dooper cute.... you know when he's real nervous and he stands kinda stiff. It was adorable. But he deserved every unbelievably awesome word that was read out about him. I only wish more people were audience to it (as I don't think it was broadcast

Whatever. Anyway.

Brendon = wins all in my world.

I think most people (if they could get out of their own ego's way) would have to admit that we shouldn't ever really completely count Brendon out ..:no matter what!!

Especially because it's obvious he'll always even work harder if his reason for something is to prove them wrong.

IMO anyway.

...and I don't care about yours anymore unless it's pro-Urie. 😝

panic! at the disco members color-picked from the albums i most associate with them

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #142

Ever been to a bonfire party? Yeah.

Have you ever been in a lighthouse? No, but that'd be very cool.

What do you enjoy most about your life? The people in it.

Have you ever said anything to the last person you kissed that you regret? There's one occasion I can think of, where I snapped at him when I could've pointed out something that bothered me in a nicer way. I did basically immediately apologize for it, being completely unwilling for my impulsive mouth to take part in any argument we may ever have, but still.

How many people with the name Taylor do you know? Girt's very close friend that currently lives with him is named Taylor. I know there has to be a couple more that I know of, but idk.

Do you care about what others think of your physical appearance? Yes. Way too much, specifically about my weight.

Have you ever stripped for someone? No, that'd be way too awkward for me. I'm too self-conscious of my body for someone's attention to be fully on it, and even in high school when I wasn't nearly as bad, I still don't think I would've been able to.

Have you ever wanted to believe in something, but couldn’t? Yes, the most obvious in my life being religion. Even as a child, I just had so many doubts, so much didn't make sense, but I'd shut myself up whenever I let myself wonder about it in fear that I would abandon religion and go to "Hell." Christianity is such fucking fear-mongering and I can't stand it.

Do you know how old your dad is? Exactly 60 now I think; I actually thought he was 60 already, but he mentioned being that number at his birthday lunch, so. I'm regularly one or two years off with my parents' ages.

Were you sad that Panic! at the Disco broke up? I've never listened to them a whole lot, but yeah, they're still a band I enjoyed and knew since what, being a pre-teen or maybe younger? I completely and entirely respect Brendon's decision to prioritize his wife and oncoming child, though.

Did you cry when you watched The Notebook? I have at least teared up at the end every single time I've watched it.

Have you ever attempted to beat box? lol no

When was the last time you saw your “first love”? The beginning of February 2017.

Who’s the smartest person you know personally? Girt, he is super intelligent.

You can’t feel pain for an entire day. What would you do? Hm, if I had the appropriate funds, probably get this really big and detailed tattoo I want on my upper left arm/shoulder area. It's probably gonna be the most expensive shit I ever get done and will certainly take a majorly long time, so it'd be great to not feel it, haha.

Who makes you the happiest? Girt.

Do you think that deep down, everyone is good at heart? Uh, no. I think we've seen enough proof of that in the world.

How many people have you kissed? Four.

How many of those people are you still friends with? Just one, Girt, and we're still dating.

Where did you go, the last time you left your house? My county's medical complex, where I do physical therapy.

Did you ever see the movie Good Burger when it came out? Not when it came out, but I have seen it and love it.

Say something nice about someone you really don’t care for: He loves his kids a lot. But Mom and I both see that he treats Aubree (not his biological daughter) somewhat differently, which is absolutely not okay. Like yeah, he's decent enough/definitely not awful, but there is absolutely a difference in how he treats her versus Ryder and Emerson.

Would you say that you’re popular? lol no

Would you say that you’ve been in love with someone? I know I have twice.

What do you consider to be the most profound of emotions? Complete, genuine love. Both romantic and not.

What brand of deodorant do you wear? Secret.

Do you believe that love isn’t right for everyone? Uh yes, aromantic people exist. Not everyone wants a romantic relationship, and that is perfectly okay.

If you could only love one person, would you choose yourself? Ugh... I realistically don't think I would. I should, but I know myself.

What’re your brothers/sisters like? If you don’t have any, do you wish you did? Nicole: extremely independent, ambitious, and determined, and pretty damn fearless. She is a very hard worker and a legend of a children's social worker, a literal hero, and she's entirely open about who she is and you're either gonna take it or leave it. She's the person that'll say things you're too afraid to, and she has a strong moral compass. I look up to her a lot. Ashley: I barely even know what's really her anymore tbfh, Mom and I (and probably Nicole, I cannot see how she couldn't) have both seen her change so much since her marriage, and not in a good way. She's a very dedicated mother, but has become a submissive follower of whatever her husband and in-laws want. She's constantly stressed out and just not the person I knew growing up. I worry about her. Katie: she's the sibling I'm most like. We're introverts and both deal with bipolarity (but I'm pretty sure hers is bipolar 1, if I remember right), and have bad mental health histories. She's a brilliant cake decorator. I wish I got to see her more; that goes for the next two, too. Misty: she's a firecracker that changes for absolutely nobody and wears her beliefs and what she loves on her sleeve. She's a Harry Potter addict and a MASSIVE reader, like her dream is to own a big library. She's also very into witchy stuff and considers herself one. She has some WILD beliefs (I'm not attaching that to her considering herself a witch, this is a completely independent thing), some that are very problematic and straight-up ignorant, and she often makes me roll my eyes on social media with some of the bonkers shit she posts, but I mean I still love her. Bobby: just a straight-up good man. He's very intelligent with a fantastic heart and values, and he is probably the best dad I have ever met in my entire life, and a fantastic husband. He loves being outside and partakes in a lot of running events and jogs and hikes regularly.

Do you consider pets family? If you don't, you don't deserve pets, like at all.

Have you lost a family member recently? No, thank fuck.

Is there anyone you would take a bullet for? If so, who? I'm not going to list them all, because it's honestly a very big number.

What job does your significant other have? He works at a tire factory.

What’s the largest animal you’ve ever had as a pet? A boxer mix named Cali.

How long has it been since you moved out of the house you grew up in? Oh I have no idea, a very long time.

The last time you ate leftovers, what was it that you were eating? Pasta with normal marinara sauce.

What are 5-10 things you love about being you? The people in my life, my love for animals and nature as a whole, I try my best to be a good person that encourages love, I'm creative, and uhhhhh... I'm empathetic and like to comfort people.

What is your favorite board that you've made on Pinterest? it's just a collection of Rammstein pics y'all 😭

What is your favorite apple-flavored treat? Uh... maybe an apple cobbler. I really enjoy apple-flavored lollipops, too.

Have you ever met anyone named Eden? No, but that's a beautiful name.

What is your favorite type of tree? Wisterias, weeping willows, and sequoias/redwoods (I know they're different, I'm just grouping them together cuz I can't tell the difference lol). Cherry blossoms are also noteworthy.

Have you ever had a spaniel for a pet? Yes; Teddy's mother was a cocker spaniel (he got like, zero traits from her lol), and supposedly Dale was part cocker spaniel too, but he looked more like a goldendoodle to me.

Do you any of your family members have birthdays on a holiday, and if so, which one(s)? Yes; my oldest half-sister was born on the 4th of July, my brother was born on Earth Day, and Nicole's birthday sometimes falls on Easter.

Which medication(s) do you feel have helped you the most, and why? Latuda with Lamictal used as a catalyst very literally saved my life. It's the reason I've healed this much from the breakup and found hope. I only ever stopped it because my body stopped responding to Latuda after some years, but thankfully I've never returned to the low that I constantly was prior to it. Intense therapy at the same time also helped without a doubt.

Is your current doctor a male or female? My primary care physician is a man, which I dislike, but he's a fine guy. My psychiatrist and therapist are both women.

What type of soda do you drink most regularly? Mountain Dew.

Do you like the band Seether? I do.

Do you have asthma? I suspected it my entire life, and fucking finally I'm supposedly getting some test for it the next time I see my PCP. It's way fuckin overdue, but I don't think even my mom knew there was a legit test for it until it was a topic brought up in physical therapy.

Have you ever performed on stage? What did you do? Yes, I danced for a very long time.

What is your favorite video game? Silent Hill 2, there are no words for how much I adore that game and the emotional journey it takes you on.

What’s your screen name? In the vast majority of places, it's Ozzkat, but not all.

When did you graduate from high school? 2014.

Are you planning to have a family? When? Not kids, no. Just lots of pets, so long as we can properly provide for each one.

What is the one thing people say about you the most? Uh... probably that I'm quiet, at least in real life.

What have you done that you’re particularly proud of? Healed as much as I think is possible from a very traumatic breakup.

How many televisions do you have in your house? Three, but one (it's very small) isn't up at all times.

Do you use your hand when you speak? YES, I am an extreme hand-talker; I do it without realizing it, but know I absolutely do.

What is your dream car? I don't care, odds are I'll never drive anyway.

Have you lived around here long? I've lived in this general area/county my entire life.

What do you do to pull yourself out of a bad mood? Talk to Girt, Mom, or Mazzy and Tez, watch something funny on YouTube, sometimes naps are a good "reset" on my mood if I'm down for no real reason, and often a Tumblr scroll will help, haha. Doing something productive is also helpful, but often when I'm really down, I don't have the strength to do it.

Why do girls follow each other to the restroom? Safety.

Who do you talk to most on the phone? My mom.

Are you pregnant? I can assure you I'm not.

Do you like poetry? Write poetry? I love poetry; I've written a lot of it and want to do more, as well as read more.

Do you know anyone who has any STDs? I'm aware of one person who has one, but I'm 100% positive I know more than just her without being aware of it. They're more common than people tend to think.

Have you ever taken a shower with someone that is not a family member? Only as a little girl, with a best friend. I have zero interest in doing this as an adult.

First type of porn you have ever watched? (ie. lesbian, hentai, threesome) I've never watched it and have a negative amount of interest in doing so.

Has any of your partners had sex with someone else? Not while we('ve) dated, no, but both serious partners have done so before we dated.

[hearttstopper]

what happened with ryden in south africa?

okay so… 

on april 13th, 2009, panic! at the disco performed their last concert with it’s original lineup of band members in cape town, south africa. (brendon urie & spencer smith went on to continue writing and performing as P!ATD while the other half - jon walker and ryan ross - left and went on to work on a project called the young veins.) the night prior to this final show was brendon’s 21st birthday.

anyway, a few days after this show, ryan tweets: 

fast forward to roughly a year later, there’s a clear divide between in place between the two halves of the band - no one is speaking to each other. the young veins release an album called ‘take a vacation” and on it is a song ryan wrote called ‘cape town’: I saw you, I met you / I loved you, I left you in Cape Town, in Cape Town… / Woke me in the morning / Asked me if I meant it, I didn’t…

on the surface, it looks like it’s a song about a one night stand with a girl ryan met in cape town… but then a year after THAT, P!ATD releases ‘vices & virtues’ which features a song called ‘the calendar.’ 

Put another ‘x’ on the calendar / Summer’s on it’s deathbed / There is simply nothing worse than knowing how it ends / And I meant everything I said that night / I will come back to life / But only for you / Only for you…

in an interview with MTV news, brendon says that the song was originally written from a romantic perspective about two lovers, but then it took a different shape. he then admits that a lot of inspiration from jon & ryan leaving the band… which begs the question, what night are they both talking about?! are they referring to something that may have happened on brendon’s birthday? what was said that they did and did not mean on this night? a confession of feelings? a massive row? harry voice: we don’t know!

[warmbeebosoftbeebo]

Truth or Dare? 1/3 probably

much of the details about him in this fic is from things b has said in interviews, on periscope, twitch, twitter... see if you can guess what is true vs details/things i made up. other things, like most of his friends being girls (at least as a kid and teen) i don't think he's ever stated outright but i consider so damn obvious as you learn about him eg the bullying, his best friend in 8th grade was a girl. hopefully, all the things i remember him saying he's actually said and i didn't dream it/imagine it haha. also i love this fic so fucking much if i may say so. one of my faves, to be a braggart. in this universe, he never got introduced to spence or ryan, hence no mentions of them or panic! and him going off to arizona for cosmetology

tag list @greatheromuffinpalace @paypoulterer1 @anyh0w @anobsessioncalled @panicsinning @queerbrendon @prettyoddfiction @iwriteficsnottragediesladies @uriellybrendon @pageoftheclouds @brendonuriesbubblyass @ier0-must-die @itriedallthenamesiwantedaretaken @xfoxtalynx @spacesams00 @satanspuppet-x @1-800-hallelujah @ryrostan @tacobelltylerr @urie-dreams [just message me to be added or taken off the tag list]

----

You're watching Aladdin with Brendon, after Alice in Wonderland but before Bambi because you don't want to wind up crying yet. He's totally like Flower and Bambi. Loves flowers, flirty and doe-eyed, for starters. He's an Aladdin too, and is singing along with you as you're cuddled up on your bed with him, him absentmindedly playing with, brushing your hair. He stopped styling it a while ago, but you love having your hair played with, scalp massaged, neck too, as much as he does... Even that has arousal spreading, tickling over you.

You don't have class tomorrow, but he has a cosmetology one in the morning. He's still excited about not having someone telling him to get to bed though, and you're too relaxed, and uh... you like how you feel around him too much, how simple things, touches kind of turn you on, to suggest he get to sleep or leave your room. Besides, your roommate went home for the weekend. And these blankets and pajamas are comfy. You wind up getting into A Whole New World though: dramatic actions and singing, batting lashes at each other, giggling, pretending the bed is a magic carpet like the dorks you two are...

You offer your lap for his head to get pets in once the song ends... You love touching his hair. Watching his lashes, eyes, lips in the television light. Hearing his breathing deepening, his sighs, a couple mmms when you stroke the nape of his neck, tug his hair, scritch his scalp. You've only known him a couple months, but... whoo boy. Too bad he's gayer than the day is long. And kind of has a boyfriend from his program, George. Well, a friend with benefits.

“Truth or dare, B?” you ask when the movie ends, but neither of you move.

“'M sleepy from all those pets, y/n, so for once, I'm going with truth.”

“Were you like this as a kid? Was it musicals and wanting to do cosmetology and stuff back then too? Like not being... being... different. From how boys were supposed to be.”

He chuckles. “Pretty much. Did skateboarding for years, and some soccer, but that was pretty much the extent of the manly shit. Well, the heavy metal too. And lots of people did pot. But mostly the kind of things people thought boys shouldn't do. Most of my friends were girls. Still are. Liked making people laugh, entertaining them. Gymnastics, dance; just messing around not pro. Did sets for the drama kids in high school. I fit in with some guys, mostly chill stoner or art types, guys who weren't straight, but not many. Sometimes I had to fake it to get by with guys, if it even worked. But mostly stuff like the dress up box.”

“What'd you dress up as?”

“Different musical roles, like Maria and Cosette, Jean Valjean. I remember being about five and wrapping curtains around myself like a dress and singing Sound of Music. Cheerleader with the miniskirt and all from my older sister Kara. Uh... pirate, cowboy, or cowgirl. Elvis, Carly Simon, Gwen. Wanted to sound like her so bad. Beyonce. David Bowie in Labyrinth, without a proper wig though. And a few of the personas he had different eras too. Jareth was mixed up in a crush on him. Like I wasn't sure how much I wanted to play that role versus liked David... At twelve, with Jessica Alba, that was a lot clearer. Make up too, some wigs. Lots of my mom's clothes. I'm sure you can tell on that last one.” He still wears women's jeans now. And hoodies, shirts, a couple pairs of sneakers...

“Oh, a weird flower boy version of Rambo,” he laughs. “Like the headband, but my mom's blouse and jeans, a bouquet of flowers, heels, dad's sunglasses... Still have a picture of that one. And we have lots of home movies of stuff. Me being a lounge singer with a feather boa and gold dress... seducing my mom. Oh, shit, can't believe I just admitted that aloud. Anyway, there was firefighter, seamstress, servant, scuba diver, vet... Vampire, fairy, witch. Playing a mom or sister in plays, like sometimes one of my sisters would be the dad, I'd be the mom, or we'd be three sisters. Or they'd be the mom and dad and I'd be their baby. I remember one where I was pregnant—pillow and doll baby, haha—and Kyla was the pirate doctor helping me deliver on the ship. Or the damsel in distress being rescued by them. Or kidnapped by them. Or we had to save our mom, the queen, from a dragon or evil king.”

They were imaginative too! You're picturing them, little Brendon in these outfits, roles. So cute, and silly, and did you say cute? He must've been adorable, playful and an entertainer back then, too. He's done an open mic a few times and sings and plays at parties with friends. You've seen him do it last Saturday, nervous but eager to sing and play guitar, or keyboard. He said that music was his favourite hobby, that he loves doing it, especially for people, but you had no idea how deep it went.

“Me in my sister's gymnastic leotard, but over my shorts because she didn't want it so close to my crotch.”

The crotch part makes you think of it: if he wears... uh, panties too? The thought makes you flush and feel embarrassed. You haven't seen him in a dress or skirt either, but he used to wear those. You wonder if he still does and you just haven't seen it. You think they'd suit him for some reason. The lavender hoodie, the pink sneakers, plus a miniskirt? Denim, or black. God, you bet that he'd look even better, draw you to him more.

“Wish we had dress up stuff to play with here, B. Bet it was fun. And I bet you looked so cute.”

He gets up, but it's to turn on the lamp; the tv had gone dark. He bats his lashes. “Oh, I did.”

You both laugh as you throw a pillow at him. “Goofball. Don't ever let me tell you you still look cute, then. And that I actually would want to see you with a dress up box.”

“Truth or dare?” he asks. You'd forgotten how this started.

“Truth?” Neither is a safe bet, so you just go with what he went with to even it out.

“Would you want to see me dressed up? Like... in things here... of yours?”

Your breath catches. Are you that obvious? You nod, asking “Truth or dare?”

He grins. “Whattaya think, y/n? Dare.”

“M-maybe... uh... a skirt? On you, I mean?”

“That can be arranged.” He practically bounces over to your closet, sorts through, deciding on a long soft blue and lilac hippieish flowery one that goes to your ankles, a purple plaid one that comes to your knees but would be two to three inches shorter on him, and your denim one that's so short it would be a mini on him. You wear it with black tights or other pants it's so short. Really, he picked most of them; you only have two others. He holds them out one by one, then places them over his hips: “Which one would fit me best?”

You get flustered, because you want to see the denim one most, but worry it would be too short for him. The plaid one? It gives “naughty schoolgirl” vibes to boys and men, older pervs included, so you don't wear it much, even though it reminds you of a newly formed coven of witches stuck at a Catholic school for some reason (you blame The Craft). You wonder what'd look like on him. You bet he's worn skirt school uniforms before, and that he'd get cheesy with it, calling you Miss and asking hammily but flirtatiously about extra credit, asking you to teach him, maybe bending over... which not going to lie, you do want if it got sexily funny, but you know it couldn't mean anything.

He grins. "Warning ya, my legs are really hairy, so you might wanna go with the longest one. What can I say, I've got Jewish legs."

You snort. "Guess I've got Jewish legs too: my hair is a light brown, but there's lots of it below my knees. I stopped shaving now that it's November." You can't help wondering if he's dressed up for Hallowe'en in a girl's costume, or in drag, and what he'd look like; even some guys who are kind of sexist and homophobic do that for Hallowe'en, so it wouldn't be out of the ordinary even outside of the gay bar you and he were let into a few times, because George knew the bouncer. Both of your first one, bar or gay bar.

"Oh, I bet I've got more than you," he jokes, and slides his pant leg up a bit, doing a "banananana" strip tease music thing, shaking his leg, making you both giggle.

"Go with the shortest one, B. Bet you'd look super sexy," you reply, hammily winking.

"No peeking!" he admonishes teasingly, hiding behind your closet door, but he pops his booty out and sways it before hiding again. His jeans quickly get flung towards you to him laughing, "Hey, you ever see that British film The Full Monty?"

"It's kinda tight on my ass, but loose on my hips. What can I say? I bring the booty. But your hips are more womanly than mine, alas," he sighs dramatically. “And your thighs are damn. Um. At least it covers my underwear. Pretty much.” He peeks out, excited. "Ready? I just wanna make sure you're prepared for my hairy ass legs, oh and my stunningly gorgeous ass."

"Pshaw, I know that that booty brings all the boys to your yard, you tramp." He's really a tease at that bar. Both guys his age and kind of older, but only one creep. He always drinks for free, gets you drinks too, and you alternately keep close and watch from afar and let him do his thing with said boys. He only talks with most, often dances, but if he likes the guy, the dancing goes beyond pg territory, kissing too, and he even went home with one of them.

[thatislife]

I’ve listened to the whole Lover album now. It’s wonderful. Some initial thoughts in no particular order...

This feels so much like her. Like she found herself again

I Forgot That You Existed

Indifference. Love it.

Wait. She dropped Drake’s name. In my feelings. Lol

Is it just me or does this have some similar beats/music as This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things?

Cruel Summer

“If I bleed you’ll be the last to know”. So powerful

“I don’t want to keep secrets just to keep you” is so important. I doubt she meant it like this but it reminds me of abuse. Never keep those secrets folks. And there’s a difference between someone wanting to keep a relationship a secret for privacy and wanting to keep it a secret because of shame. Know the difference. And dump them if it’s the latter.

Her vocals when she sings “I cried like a baby coming back from the bar”! SO GOOD!

“I scream for whatever it’s worth, ‘I love you, ain’t that the worst thing you’ve ever heard?!?’”

“He looks so pretty like a devil” reminds me of Miley Cyrus’s 7 Things. In the best way. Actually the whole song kind of does. But a better, more adult, more refined version.

Cruel Summer could have been on 1989. Easily. Did Jack Antonoff produce this? Oh, yup. Totally did.

Cruel Summer might be my favorite

Lover (song)

60s vibes. Love it. Sounds like her. Love the video. Not having as much of a “reaction” because it’s not new to me anymore. But that video! SO THOUGHT OUT

The Man

I am so fucking here and for The Man

Seriously. The bullshit women, especially powerful and successful women, have to put up with is insane

“What I was wearing” is a reference to how women are treated in cases of sexual assault, yeah? Do we agree? Good

Ok, The Man may be my favorite. Or at least it’s my new anthem

Love the Leo name check

This song is going to be so fucking good on tour. I need to find a pantsuit to wear...

Archer

Again, not new anymore. But SO good. Feels like anxiety to me. The expectation that everyone and everything is going to leave you.

Basically one of my therapy sessions.

Eyes Open gives me similar vibes

I Think He Knows.

Very fun. A bop.

“I am an architect, I’m drawing up the plans”. Girl. We could have told him that lol. We were the first victims of your plans haha

Love it. Also going to be great on tour

Miss Americans & The Heartbreak Prince

About her “exile”. Really like this. I’m sad that she felt this way.

“You play stupid games, you win stupid prizes” is such a middle finger to it all. Love it.

“Boys will be boys”. Their behavior is always explained or excused, but women have to meet insane standards of decorum. Not to mention the obvious reference to how sexual assault is treated

This song is probably going to become my favorite. I see it as the one that’s going to sneak up on me and constantly find itself played multiple times in a row

Paper Rings

SO FUN

“Went home and tried to stalk you on the internet” hahahaha 😂😂😂 (She should have asked us for tips)

THIS IS GOING TO BE SO FUN ON TOUR

“In dirty dreams” okuuurrr Taylor! Get it girl!

Such a sweet song.

If she’s not engaged or married yet, I’d be shocked. Not that it is any of my business.

Has a sort of early 2000’s teen romcom montage song vibe

Cornelia Street

The way she sings “I never want Cornelia Street again” is so good

I hope she never needs Cornelia Street again. No offense to Cornelia Street

I like all of the insights into the beginnings of their relationship

I think I hear storms/thunder at the end. Not sure what it’s about but I like it

Death By A Thousand Cuts

I like the strain/frustration in her voice. Like she’s saying it through gritted teeth

I think this one will also sneak up on me

“I ask the traffic lights if it’ll be alright”. Love that

“Trying to find a part of me that you didn’t touch/take up” is SO great. It starts as just physical and her body but it reaches into every aspect of her life. It reminds me of “I try to be my old self but I’m still trying to find it”

Love the rhythm/cadence of it

London Boy

IDRIS ELBA!!!!!!!!

Idris Elba has a scooter!!!

The chorus reminds me of Ed Sheeran’s verse in End Game

This will also be super fun on tour

London fans getting all these references!!! YOU ARE SEEN!!!

Soon You’ll Get Better

I knew this song was going to destroy me

When she sings “‘Cause you have to” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Praying to the prescription bottles.

Praying to a god you don’t believe in because you’re desperate and scared

“I just pretend it isn’t real. I’ll paint the kitchen neon, I’ll brighten up the sky” Trying to do anything to fix things, to make it better, to control anything in a situation that is out of your control is such a helpless feeling. It’s infuriating. And I’m currently living it

The bridge 💔

Then she changes it to “‘Cause I have to” 😭💔😭

I’m so glad the Dixie Chicks collaborated on this

How was she even able to record this?

Ronan is heartbreaking but this is in an entirely different stratosphere of devastating

She said in the live Lover Lounge thing that she spoke with her family about whether to release it and that it was a family decision. I’m glad it was

I’ve currently got a young family member who has an incurable, terminal cancer. This was hard to listen to.

Definitely a “listen to alone while curled up on the floor, sobbing” kind of song

False God

I like it but I think any song positioned right after Soon You’ll Get Better was going to have a hard time

Very jazzy?

A very good companion to Dress

You Need To Calm Down

I love this

I will always love this

It’s all pride flags, feminism, and middle fingers and I 👏🏼 AM 🏳️‍🌈 HERE ♀FOR 🖕🏻 IT 👏🏼

Afterglow

I like that she’s being very upfront about how her anxiety and previous trauma has affected her relationships

The afterglow is the calm after the storm of a fight

Me!

When Panic! released “Dying In L.A.”, literally the first thing I said after hearing it was “I want him to duet with Taylor. It would be SO GOOD”

I was right 😁

So fun. Love them together

Brendon Urie’s voice is just so uniquely amazing. It’s basically a sexual orientation by itself.

My sexual orientation may just be Brendon Urie

I might be biased

Still amazing

GIRL THERE AINT NO I IN TEAM!!!

Tour closer? Prediction

It’s Nice To Have A Friend

I like the simplicity

Like childhood

Seriously. I think she’s married

I think it’s going to overly criticized for its simplicity

May get overlooked by some of the more powerful songs, but there’s power in simplicity too

Daylight

It’s a fresh start

Reminiscent of clean

Really like it

Winds down the album well

Many call backs “Burning Red” “It’s Golden”

I love the voice memo to close it out

Step into the daylight and let it go ❤️

Basically, I love this album. It really is her best one. Plus, SHE OWNS IT 😁

@taylorswift @taylornation

[frankensteindotpdf]

All of them

FUCK I KNEW YOU WERE GONNA DO THIS CRAP AHHH

Who’s your crush/squish?

I......tend to have a couple at a time (go unreciprocation whoop whoop) anyhoo the main one is this girl who is SUPER CUTE AND HAS THE CUTEST LAUGH AND IS LOWKEY EMO AND JUST BRILLIANT TBH and fun fact she’s the one who made me realise I’m bi! annnnd there’s a guy....who I just realised I have a crush on....like yesterday....and I’m dying a little

Who’s your fictional crush/squish?

Hahahahahahaha that talks like there’s one.....Remus obviously...Tonks....Dean Winchester...Jughead .....Rapunzel.....Duke Crocker from Haven (holy crap bro).....I used to have a crush on Klaus Baudelaire and also Yo-Yoji (shut up Carina)..... massive squish on Sherlock Holmes....and more I’m forgetting

Worst joke you’ve ever told?

Crap bro my life is full of stupid jokes I can’t choose one

Worst insult you’ve ever given?

Just really dumb ones, nothing specific

Got any weird kinks?

not any weird ones

How did you find out about sex?

No idea, probably like parents or sex ed classes? I don’t remember

Trashiest thing in your wardrobe?

Literally none? I mean I have trash like a billion HP t shirts but nothing revealing or anything

Worst Phobia?

Needles. I literally cry everytime. 

Hentai or the real thing?

Ew neither thanks

Ever been arrested?

lol i never go outside no

What are you most selfish about?

This question is worded weird....uh my..sketchbooks? maybe? like I don’t really get the q but I never let anyone draw in my sketchbooks so ig that counts?

Who would you let die if given the chance to save them?

Myself

Who would you sacrifice yourself for?

Anyone

Something silly you believed as a kid?

Well I didn’t think “washcloth” was a real term, for some reason (I have literally no idea why) I thought it was just a word my family used but they were really called something else. I mean washcloth is so... on the nose

Weirdest/most embarassing thing you’ve drawn?

I once.....drew a picture....of my crush.....with a stupid nickname above it....and little hearts....and little pics of the stuff he liked.... UGH I CRINGE JUST THINKING ABOUT IT I WAS IN GRADE 2 DONT JUDGE ME

Controversial role models?

I can’t think of any? 

Cringiest fandom you’ve been in?

for like A MONTH I was into... Justin Bieber.

Cringiest thing you’ve shipped?

Trans Gilderoy Lockhart and Snape

Ever had “an accident” in public?

I mean when I was real little I did once after school but like no one was there besides my family so it wasn’t a big deal

What helps you fall asleep?

Honestly watching Bob Ross. He’s just so soothing

What childish things do you still do?

I dunno man...Lots I just can’t think of anything specific

What’s your age?

A HEATHERS SONG AND THE YEAR A WIZARD COMES OF AGE

Grossest thing you’ve eaten?

Some people would say crickets (they tasted great though) I would personally say (not eating but) gargling salt water. I literally threw up. Thanks, father.

Honest opinion on religion?

I definitely like the idea and totally respect other’s beliefs, but I’m still working it out. I mean I know mine pretty darn well but the more I learn the more it just sounds really convienient idk

What does your laugh sound like?

From being told to shut up so much it’s changed a lot....It’s kinda squeaky but mostly silent? I’m a bit self concious about it tbh

How would you describe your smile?

stupid. it scrunches up my face all wrong and makes me look even fatter than I already do

Did you go through any regrettable phases?

“Liking” music everyone else liked to fit in

Ever dropped plans/projects and not said a word?

Not one-on-one stuff (though social anxiety makes me want to every time) but like I guess? nothing noteworthy

Intovert/Extrovert?

INTROVERT

Personality Type?

INFP

Ugliest thing in your wardrobe?

I have this nightgown that I never wear that looks like something out of an 1800s movie...floral pattern and all

Would you wear pajama’s in public?

If I was with friends who were 

Weirdest thing that turned you on?

uhhhh I have no idea 

Pineapples on pizza????

hecc yes

Do you use the XD emoticon?

Only in an ironic way

Do you have a dark sense of humour?

yup

Worst thing you ship?

Ms. Frizzle and Brendon Urie

Top or bottom?

Oh I cant believe I’m answering this on the internet gosh well from my personality I’d say...bottom 

Top or bottom bunk?

Also bottom because I feel like I’ll fall off or break the top bunk

Pettiest thing you’ve cried over?

Dude I cry over everything...My sister said she’d rip one of my books

Pettiest thing you’ve gotten mad over?

Bro again like I usually get upset at myself rather than mad at other people but like at my family basically everything?

Longest time you’ve cried?

lol well multiple times I’ve cried for a few hours straight, I cried through an entire movie once (I’m not evenexaggerating I had to pause it because I was sobbing too hard literally 5 times)

Do you touch the art in museums?

NO THAT CAN WRECK IT AND I COULD GET IN TROUBLE

Do you have a fandom OC?

Kinda? I mean just self-inserts tbh

How much do you believe in astrology?

not at all

Have you ever used a base for drawing?

I mean I’ve copied them down but not traced

Have you ever used MSPaint for drawing non-ironically?

yup. there was a time when I had a laptop and sucked at drawing so when I got bored I’d draw on MSPaint

Controversial opinion?

I’m a feminist and I think everyone should be

Ass or chest?

I hate answering this I’m just gonna do it quickly and get it over with female ass, male chest

Chest or genitals?

chest

Genitals or ass?

I HATE THESE I HAVE NO IDEA OK

Any scars?

Yup. I have one on my arm from burning myself while baking in grade 8, and two others on the inside (of the same arm haha) that are from somehow managing to hit my arm off a staple sticking out of an old recliner

Do you pirate anything?

Only music for animatics, but even then only songs I’ve already bought but cant transfer. I don’t see the point. The artists I like I don’t just like for their music (or movies or whatever), I like them as people too. I want to thank them for making such awesome stuff, so a little donation is totally reasonable to me

url for an old cringy social media account?

I mean this one? I wasnt allowed to have social media when I was younger so yay none of that

Any post’s you’ve deleted and why?

Only ones I accidentally reblogged onto my art blog, but I always reblog them onto my main first

How long does it take you to get up in the morning?

depends. if I have nothing to do, hours. If I have school, anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour (I set my alarm real early)

What will instantly turn you on?

idk man nothing really...someone being good with kids is always sweet tho

Fave eye+hair colour combination?

Nothing specific, I like basically all colours?

Have you already named your future children?

If I have any they will be named after someone in one of my billions of fandoms (probably someone from hp)

Do you do drugs?

Just Ibuprofen amirite lol even then I am in pain way more than I take it I hate swallowing pills

How tall are you?

about 5′5 or 5′6

Did you go through a “RANDOM XD” phase?

yup

Dumbest thing you believed?

No idea, probably something from when I was little but idk

Dildo of choice? (besides an actual dildo)

boi i’m not even coming near this question (get it?)

Daddy kink?

I mean I find it hot when some people say it? but not really

Who could change your sexuality just by looking at you?

I’m...bi....so like.....no one? I’m confused mate there’s no way to answer this question

Bara/Yaoi/Shota?

none tbh i dont even know what 2/3 of those mean

What area’s of your body are most sensitive?

besides the obvious my knees, stomach, back, neck....okay everything I just hate people touching me thanks oh and my feet oh gosh I got a pedicure once and it was the worst experience of my life

Weirdest dream you’ve had?

A bunch man, once I had a dream where Peeta was transformed by the Capitol or smth to look like one of my friends and he was also heavily drugged and at my school for some reason and I was trying to help him get to safety....I had a dream where my family and I lived in a trailer park and our neighbour had a big dog that attacked my little brother, first by biting and then picking up a stick with its paws and beating him with it....one where my friend tried to touch my stomach and i panicked, punched him in the face, and then had a panic attack because I felt so bad

THANK GOSH THAT’S OVER

[possessedcoast]

Hey! I'm in the mood for ryden. I recently read two weeks in Hawaii and I was wondering if you have any fics like it in the sense that they're longish(Doesn't have to be too long) and cute/fluffy (though I'm always up for some angst) and preferably AU (but I'm not a fan of highschool AU's ) sorry if im asking much, I'm picky with fics. And thank you!

i’m always in the mood for ryden haha 

recs under the cut because it got really long, as usual

you mentioned always being up for some angst, so when you’re in the mood for that, go hereas for fluffy and cute, well, there’s less of those. especially that are long or anything close to long. i put short ones on here too because short is better than none

here are some fluffy/cute college ausjust so you know, i just picked these off of my other rec lists because i don’t have many other ryden fics that i’ve read and not yet recc’d 

Nerds in Love. fluffy with bits of angst. lots of secondhand embarrassment. like, lots. 21,543 words

let the good times roll. A cheesy college/barista AU. Short, but good 3,650 words

It’s Just Like Flying. 2k. movie nights and fluff

Aliens in America. short, 1k maybe? brendon is convinced that ryan is literally an alien. it’s weird but super cute

[off a cliff just for the spark] 3k. fluffy fluff that includes skinny dipping

(Not) Afraid of Being Broken In. about 3k. ryan and brendon have a thing and they don’t talk about it being a thing until they do. it’s fluffy and cute.

Until the End of Time: this could be set any time, honestly. ryan makes bren watch Moulin Rouge and it gets cute and sappy

after i have dreamed: 11000 words. this one’s just cute. brendon’s really obvious about his love for ryan and ry’s just oblivious and doesn’t get it until it’s almost too late

And Then It Rained.: 18569 words. read this one alone because you will have the dorkiest smile on your face the entire time. it’s all fluff. it’s so precious.   

you came into my life and now i want you to stay.: this is adorably awkward. ryan and brendon have to work on a psychology project together

You’ve Got Everything Now. 4800 words. bren and ry buy a house together

Pit Stop at IHOP: 4 or 5k, I think. it’s so adorable and fluffy. it’ll make your day. ryan and brendon go to ihop together and things are cutei think that’s all i’ve got for cute/fluffy. if anyone has any recs not on this list, send them my way please!

[ryroappreciation]

@grayjedigerard submitted: Hi I wrote this lil thing to my friend who doesn’t know much about Panic expect for Brendon and I need someone to appreciate this really cute fluffy and pure thing I wrote about Ryan and Brendon having a baby together and being engaged. You’re welcome.

Brendon step up his phone. Which was lying against a stack of books on the coffee table in their living room. He looked decent while Ryan was still in bed sleeping. Which was fine, since he was the one up all night with Jude. Brendon opened up the Instagram app and got started. “Hello hello is this thing on?” Brendon looked at how many people were watching him. “Okay 7k people are watching. I can be playing a concert right now if we were in an area.” “So any questions guys?” Brendon looked through the comments, choosing the best comments. “How’s the wedding planning? Asked Emma” “uh it’s actually going good. I thought it was going to be super stressful, but if you did it right then it’s not that bad. We each get the things we are doing and then things we’re choosing together. It’s nice actually.” Ryan proposed to Brendon almost a year ago. in June where Brendon was just in Kinky Boots for a little while. It was one night where a bunch of famous people were in the audience and Ryan was right in the front, but he managed to go to back and go to the side stage at the end. When they gave their final bows Ryan came up on the stage and got on one knee and preposed to Brendon. Now they have a kid and getting married in three months. “How’s Jude? Asked Ally. Uh Jude is good. He’s three months and will be six months at the wedding which is just crazy.” They adopted Jude at the start of the year. “Shouldn’t you adopt a child after the wedding? Asked Megan. Well Megan sometimes you do things backwards and it all works out, so if it works out then we don’t really worry.” At first Brendon didn’t really to adopt a kid so soon, but Ryan made him come around and couldn’t be happier. “Let me guess did Ryan name him? Asked Laken. And yes he named him. I know I’m marrying a nerd. Should I leave now when I have a chance?” Brendon laughed. Ryan got the first name and Brendon got the second name. Jude mercury. A badass name Brendon thought. “I can’t believe you named your kid after Freddie Mercury said Kaitlin. Wouldn’t you expect anything else from me though? I would have named him after frank sintera but Ryan vetoed that.” “Speaking of the devil, look who just work up.” Brendon moved his phone where Ryan is. Walking towards the kitchen, holding Jude. “And look he’s holding a baby! Let’s just give a collective awww at that.” Ryan laughed at him. “If I knew I was going to be filmed I would fix my hair.” Ryan said. “Nah you’re fine babe. Go feed the baby now.” Brendon moved the phone back was facing him. “Jude looks like a mini Brendon says Addie. Well, he has my hair and nose, but everything else is Ryan. If he got Ryan’s hair it would be a mini Ryan Ross. Which we do need in the world.” “I heard that! And that’s not true.” Ryan shouted from the kitchen. “Yes it is babe! Everyone is agreeing with me.” “We need more Ryan rosses in the world says Harmony. I agree with that statement.” Ryan was finished making Jude’s bottle so he came out of the kitchen and into the living room, sitting next to Brendon on the couch. Holding Jude and feeding him. “Awww look guys it’s Jude!” “I would show his face but he really likes to eat at the moment.” Ryan replied. “Everyone is saying hey Jude and I can’t tell if they’re actually saying hi or making a pun.” Ryan said. “I think both.” Said Brendon. “Hey you named him says Emily.” “Yeah you’re right so I guess I brought this up myself.” Ryan laughed. “Everyone is asking baby questions now.” Ryan noted. “Does Jude like panic? Asks Zoe. Actually, so I was playing some iheart station and nine in the afternoon came on and Jude got up from the floor and tried to dance. So I think he just like pretty odd.” Says Brendon. “Which is a shame.” He adds. “Hey that’s a good album! I personally think our child has a good taste in his parents music.” Ryan said. “Yeah that’s because you loved that album.” “That’s true.” “Already an old couple fighting says Taylor. Well technically we have been together since… we were 17? Is that safe to say Ryan?” “Uh, yeah it’s safe to say. We just toke an 8 year long break from the relationship and we’re fine now.” “Yeah, we’re fine. Nothing wrong now.” Says Brendon, nervously. He hates talking about that time in their relationship. “So any more questions? This little one is asking for attention.” Brendon moved the phone so everyone could see Jude. He was sitting in Ryan’s lap, trying to reach for Brendon’s leather jacket. Trying to play with it. “Leather jackets aren’t supposed to be played with Jude, just to let you know.” Brendon laughed. His jacket was Jude’s favorite thing to play with. “Want to hold him? I think he wants you.” Says Ryan. He hands Brendon Jude, who’s now safe in Brendons arms. Smiling wildly. “see better now?” Brendon asks Jude. “Jude is all of us. Wanting to be with Brendon all the time says Mary. Haha. Well too bad for you guys cause I have two people who take up most of my time.” “Someone asked me if I ever will get back with Panic. Well… technically I have since it’s just this guy now… but I don’t think so musically. Maybe I’ll help with making the album since he does that at home in his studio, but I don’t think I’ll ever like tour with them or anything. I like being home with the baby.” “Awwww. Says everyone watching.” “Are we even getting a new panic album? Asked jay um actually I would say something but I don’t want to get fired from my job. But I will say, a lot of it is about this guy.” He points to Ryan. “Haven’t all the panic songs been about Ryan asked mike. Uh you’re not wrong. It’s just more obvious and it’s happy songs now so it’s better.” Says Brendon. “Lots of love songs and stuff. It’s my in love and happy and finally got my stuff together album.” “You almost swore in front of the child. Yeah he did! Don’t worry guys I’ll punish him later for it.” Ryan says, winking. Brendon rolled his eyes at his future husband. “Okay guys one more question and then I’ll spend some time with these two weirdos.” “Well Jude and Ryan come with you on tour? Asked Ashley. Uh maybe? It depends how old Jude is and if we could do it. I know some artists who are married together and can do it, so hopefully. I like having this guy on the side while I’m playing.” Brendon says. “I think Jude might be old enough to be on a tour bus, so I say it’s likely.” Ryan replied. “Okay guys that’s the last of the questions. I am going to snuggle my child and finance to death now.” “The actual death of a bachelor. Ha true. Don’t worry I won’t try to kill this guy before the wedding. I love him way too much.” Ryan stares at him after that. They never really say they love each other in public, so when it slips his eyes and heart get wide. Brendon was about to close the app when Ryan got up and kissed behind his neck. Jude in the middle of the two. “Woah! What was that for?” “I love you too, by the way.” Ryan laughed. “That’s good cause I’m not sure who I would be marrying in July if you didn’t.” “I feel like you would be fine marrying yourself actually.” Ryan replied. He grabbed Brendon’s phone and was ending the live stream. Putting the phone down on the coffee table. “That was actually fun. I missed talking to the fans.” Ryan said while he was lying down on the couch, taking up all the room so his fiancé and child can cuddle up to him. “Yeah I liked it to. I’m glad we get to have this now.” Brendon put Jude on Ryan’s stomach so he was comfortable and he snuggled into Ryan’s side. Ryan having a hold on both of them. “He’s going to be so old when the wedding comes. Do you think he could be the ring bear?” Ryan asked. “Uh maybe? I’m not sure if there’s an age limit or anything. He kinda needs to learn to walk first.” Brendon says. Running his fingers up and down Jude’s back. “Yeah true. I think I know someone who will let me steal their kid for the day.” “Let me guess, Spencer?” “Hmm yes. I’ll ask him soon.” “That sounds good.” Brendon looks up to Ryan. He can’t imagine how this is his life now. If you told 24 year old him that he was going to get all of this, he wouldn’t believe in you at all. “Hey, Ryan?” “Hmmm yes?” “I’m glad I finally get to have this with you.” “Me too. I’m glad we could work this out.” Ryan kisses his forehead. Getting a laugh from Jude. “What are you laughing at? Do you think your dads are being too domestic?” Ryan asks him and laughs back. Yeah, they may have not been together for a while. And Ryan’s name might have felt like poison in his mouth. But they’re okay now. They’re going to be fine.

cute!!!