#breaking news. guy goes insane over the car fight just like every other bitch

[worstwolvie]

wade’s leg over logan’s shoulder. logan’s smile as wade’s blood drips on him. wade choking logan with the seatbelt. the taunting. both of them choosing to return to the car rather than take the fight out into the open. them beckoning each other closer. logan grabbing onto wade’s belt to pin him down. the taunting. both of them enjoying it beyond just hurting the other. the fight being more about release than anything else since they can’t actually put the other down. the literal seatbelt bondage. need i say more…

[lovelyirony]

“Did you just hit me? With a pillow? Oh. It’s on now.” for Sam and Bucky aka the weiner club

Sam has seen some questions floating around on the internet about the worst thing that came out of World War II. He has a lot of answers. 

But he thinks he has the final answer as to the worst thing that came out of World War II: 

James Buchanan Barnes. 

What a dumbass. 

For one thing, absolutely wrecked his credit score when he ripped his steering wheel right out of his car. It was a new car too, just gotten and Sam had gotten a fancy car-freshener, not one of the trees that was labeled Black Ice. You know, the scent that every guy-in-his-twenties had. No, he was getting fancy in life. Upgrading, as it were. 

And then this absolute goddamn travesty of a human being with a metal arm that was more indestructible than that one spoon that keeps getting stuck in the garbage disposal and somehow makes it out. 

Steve brings him back. And now Bucky--which is a very stupid name--is currently stealing all of Sam’s fancy oatmeal and he knows he’s doing it. 

Bucky is having a lot of fun at Sam’s expense, and Sam can’t say shit about it because Bucky goes “oh boo I’m a traumatized war veteran who had to go to Russia for like fifty years. Let me eat your oatmeal you stupid bitch” and Sam has to let him. 

So Sam decides that he will just refuse to ever interact with Bucky on any level except Enemy. 

Sharon tells him he’s being a tad dramatic. 

“That oatmeal cost me seven dollars every week and he fucking eats it.” 

“Not all of it,” Sharon says. “He’s not bad, he’s just messing with you. Steve is still treating him like he’s one of those glass figurines that Bruce collects.” 

“Bruce collects glass figurines? What?” 

“Yeah. I think he finds them in thrift shops and just collects them. I can’t decide if it’s an intimidation tactic for the Hulk or for Tony.” 

“Tony is scared of glass figurines?” 

“He’s scared of breaking stuff. Don’t ask, it involves Pepper.” 

“Oh. I think it’s weird that you know him on such a personal level.” 

“Why?” 

“I was literally just telling you the last time I went grocery shopping and you told me, and I quote, ‘stop telling me all this personal shit I have limited memory storage in my brain’.” 

“It’s because I do. I don’t give a shit about your grocery purchases unless any of it is for me.” 

“Very self-centered.” 

“Quite. But give Bucky a little leeway.” 

“Absolutely not.” 

- 

Bucky absolutely knows what he is doing. He really and truly does. He’s been texting Maria Hill about the whole thing, who finds it absolutely hilarious. 

In fact, everyone knows what he’s doing. Except for Steve, which makes it even funnier. 

Steve is under the impression that Bucky has no idea that that was Sam’s oatmeal, or Sam’s favorite coffee cup. 

He most definitely knows it. But Sam has funny reactions, and in all honesty, a lot of it isn’t that big a deal. 

And then Sam wacks him with a pillow. 

“You hit me. With a pillow.” Sam wacks him again. 

“Oh, it’s on now.” 

The Pillow Wars commence. 

There are three rules: 

1.) No headshots. Those are mean and stupid and bad. 

2.) You cannot use any of the pillows that Tony or Pepper bought. Both are incredibly enamored with their own interior design and decoration choices, and will not be messed with. It took Bucky only once to learn this. He was threatened to be launched out by an arm, and it wasn’t gonna be his left. 

3.) Steve and Bruce cannot know

This is mainly for humor purpose. Steve--maybe--would be fine with it. Bruce knows too much about how brains work and how maybe Bucky gets hit with a pillow and Something Bad happens. 

So begins the Secret War. 

Sam ditches an official interview to sneak on a plane and absolutely wreck Bucky with pillows. 

Bucky stealth attacks from ceilings. 

The most entertaining is when other people are in the room and the AI Friday informs of “Dr. Banner’s” or “Captain Rogers’s” imminent arrival. 

“Hey Steve-o,” Bucky says, just casually draping his arm over Sam’s shoulders. (And potentially maybe holding him quite tightly so as to not have him escape. He’s made the mistake before.) “What’s going on in the world with you?” 

“Nat and I are going to practice parkour,” Steve says. “You guys have gotten...closer?” 

“Yeah,” Sam says, grinning. “Best buds, us two. Peas in a pod.” 

“Or more,” Steve teases. “I’m right, right? The hugs, the way that Sam was on top of you earlier, Buck...my two friends dating?” 

They freeze. 

They can’t tell him no, because then Steve is going to know that they’ve been fighting. 

“Yes,” Bucky answers. “Sam asked me out a couple weeks ago. We’ve been trying to take it slow, but you know how modern men are. Too quick for their own damn good.” 

Sam wants to fucking murder him. 

Because this? Exactly what he wanted to avoid. 

“I hate you.” 

“Love you too. Baby.” 

“Oh, ‘baby’? That’s the one you’re going with? Listen you fucking asshole--” 

“Nope! Sorry!” 

- 

This leads to dating. And even more lying. 

Because Sam has to keep it up and pretend like he’s been sharing his oatmeal. They have to go out on actual dates because Steve “checks in” on his runs that he takes (he takes multiple because he’s insane) and they have to be in love. 

It is disgusting. 

Bucky has had to use hard-earned money to get Sam stupid shit like flowers and “just thinking of you” gifts and a birthday present. He had to spend money on a nice shirt and a cute plant that Sam will like. 

This is what changes things, by the way. 

Bucky was not supposed to be thinking about how Sam has been wanting a peppermint plant for a while, but he won’t fucking shut up about it and he won’t stop telling Bucky about all the cute pots that he wants to put it in and Bucky was not supposed to go to the nursery and go get it. 

But he did. Because Sam wouldn’t shut up and Bucky wasn’t gonna be a basic bitchy boyfriend and get him flowers and a dinner. That is for losers. Which Bucky most certainly is not. 

Sam is surprised that Bucky is listening. 

And then they realize that it’s not exactly that they’re mad that they’re dating. In fact, Sam kind of likes having a special someone to go to breakfast with, even if Bucky kind of hates the diner he keeps choosing. 

(To be fair their muffins are dry but also to be fair Bucky will simply not order an omelette, which is their best option.) 

Maybe Bucky likes remembering fun little facts about Sam, like how he hates red petunias because his old neighbor always had them everywhere, or how he secretly thought that Captain America was literally just a media project meant to consider how well propaganda worked on the American people. 

(If Bucky hadn’t remembered that Steve was literally just That Stupid, he probably would’ve agreed with that theory.) 

So now they have Stupid Feelings. This Sucks. 

Also? Sharon is laughing at Sam, because she’s a terrible gay best friend. 

“You’re gay too, so that makes us just friends. Cancels all that shit out. But it doesn’t change the fact that you’re stupid and didn’t recognize that you liked him. It literally took Steve assuming you were a couple to get this whole thing rolling.” 

“Wait, so you knew? Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“Sam I’m sorry you have to hear it from me, but I had a hell of a lot more faith in you than I should have. Is that a sin? That should be a sin.” 

“I will literally write you out of my will just watch me.” 

“Who else is going to take your ugly paintings, Sam? Who? Steve? He went to art school for a year. He knows quality.” 

“I hate you.” 

“Yeah, just like you hate Bucky,” Sharon says, laughing. “Have fun with that, by the way. Hope you confess your feelings soon!” 

- 

Sam is not having fun with this. No, not at all. 

It’s mostly because Bucky is still stealing his oatmeal and they’re in Public and he can’t confess his feelings. It’s just not convenient. Also Bucky is having a lot of conversation with a certain guy that Tony knows in one way or another, and they’ve hit it off. 

Steve is looking at Bucky. 

“Huh, he seems to like that guy a lot, they’ve been talking for a while. You know him, Sam?” 

“No,” Sam says. “But I’m sure everything is fine.” 

(Well everything is probably fine on Bucky’s end. Sam is trying Very Hard to not be jealous at all. People talk all the time. He’s talking to Steve right now. It doesn’t mean he’s going to do anything to Steve.) 

(It’s not working, if you wanted clarification. The whole “I’m not actually jealous” thought.) 

- 

He hits Bucky with another pillow. 

“What the hell?” Bucky mutters, flicking on the light. 

“Come to bed, asshole.” 

“I hate you,” Bucky grumbles, shrugging off his tuxedo jacket. “Let me get into my pajamas first before you start a pillow war.” 

“Surprised you came home at all. Thought you and that guy were getting awfully cozy.” 

“Ain’t my type,” Bucky answers, “and his wife wasn’t my type either.” 

“Then who is?” 

Bucky looks at him. 

“You seriously wanna know?” 

“If you’ll answer, yeah.” 

“Sam, my type is someone who is an absolute asshole who I hate a lot.” 

Sam blinks. 

“You wanna know what my type is, Barnes?” 

“Who?” 

“Someone who keeps stealing my fucking oatmeal.” 

Bucky stops and pauses. Then starts shaking with laughter. 

“We really are the worst, aren’t we?” 

“In a sense, yeah. We have an early breakfast tomorrow with Maria and Pepper, by the way. So come to bed.” 

“Yes, dear.” 

Doesn’t matter if it’s said sarcastically. Sam still likes it. 

- 

There’s a part to this story you should know: 

Steve’s absolutely not stupid about this certain situation. He knew Bucky was a little shit who kept stealing oatmeal. He also knew that Sam liked him, even if he didn’t recognize it himself. 

By him insinuating that he thought they were dating, he knew they would never crush his dreams. He’s secretly a manipulative genius like that. 

(It also helps that Maria owes him about a thousand dollars or five favors, give or take a couple.) 

[spideycents]

B-Roll // Shawn Mendes - 1: picture’s up

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

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a/n: This starts off cringey because I had no other ideas so I just started writing a conversation between me and a friend.

---

"I can't help it that I love drama."

   "You definitely CAN help it," I laugh. I tug on my seatbelt to loosen it a little so I can get comfortable in the passenger seat of Michael's car. "You just choose not to cause the drama is so good."

   "It is! It's too good!"

   I laugh harder, a snort dares to sneak into my giggles and I cover my mouth with my hands. Not that I'm nervous to laugh around Michael, I mean he's my best friend. I'm just kind of nervous just in general around all people, no exceptions, but the snort caught me off guard and I'm afraid of it being followed by bad breath or another snort or a burp or something gross and weird.

   "The tea just doesn't stop spillin," he continues. "It's some good ass tea and you know a bitch loves a good mess."

   "This is true." I nod. "You do. And a good mess is always quality."

Michael chokes back a laugh. "Quali-tea..."

   My laughter immediately stops and I look at him. He's grinning wildly and derpily and has about five chins right now. He's a looker.

   "I'll see myself out," he says as he unlocks the door and reaches for the handle.

   I know that he won't actually open it. I know this. I trust him. He's not that fucking stupid. But, I still reach over him and pull his arm away and lock the door. It's a scramble and we almost rear-end the car in front of us, but at least that voice in the back of my head can calm down now that Michael's definitely going to stay in the car.

   "DAAAAAAAMN!" He hangs onto the word as he laughs at me. His eyes are wide and his hands grip the wheel tightly and his elbows are locked. "Are you trying to kill us?"

   I fall back in my seat and curl into myself.

   "Sorry," I mutter and look down at my hands in my lap.

   "It's okay," he laughs lightly. "You know I wouldn't really do that, right?"

   I shrug. "Yeah," I say quietly.

   "Uh...no. You are not going to sit here and tell me you thought I was actually going to jump out of the car."

   I shrug again. I don't like lying to him. I don't see the purpose in lying about things like this. I mean, I know it's trivial and he's just kidding, but...I don't know...some part of me actually believed he might do it. Part of me wasn't just worried, I was scared. Why would I lie about that? He'd know I was lying anyway. He always knows. I don't know how. I guess I just wear everything on my sleeve. I'm easier to read than a stop sign.

   "Well, I wouldn't, okay? I wouldn't ever do that and you know I'm joking, so just...like...try to be more chill, okay?"

   I laugh. "Me? Chill? Who do you think you're talking to right now?"

   He laughs too. "I know, but..." he sighs. "Just try, maybe?"

   I throw my hands up. "I don't know how! Teach me your wayss. sensei. Teach me how to be more chill."

Michael grins hard again and glances at me then grabs his phone.

   "Oh my dear sweet lord," I groan. "What have I done?"

   "Don't judge me," he whines through gritted teeth.

   "The Smartphone Hour" from Be More Chill starts to play and he quickly turns the volume up and starts singing. He's offkey and kinda sounds like a dying raccoon that's stuck in a trash can that's being run through a wood chipper. He loves to sing though and we've talked about how god awful we both are so it's cool and, honestly, I kinda like it. It's a familiar raccoon sound and it's a raccoon that I care about and don't want to hurt it's feelings, so I'll just let it be.

   I don't know the lyrics to any songs in Be More Chill, even though Michael plays them all the freaking time, so I pull out my phone and scroll through Instagram.

   The first thing to pop up on my feed is about Shawn Mendes.

   Breaking news, according to Entertainment Weekly, it was just announced by Deadline that singer, Shawn Mendes, is confirmed to have been cast in the remake of The Breakfast Club.

   "Oof."

Michael glances over at me. "What?"

   I turn my phone to show him and he tilts his head back and lets loose a guttural groan that's also kind of a shriek and a sob at the same time. It's a mixture of sounds from the belly and head and back of the throat and your inner spirit animal. We call it: The Dying Puma.

   "This is why we can't have nice things!" He shouts at the roof of the car. I laugh 'cause I'm trying not to freak out about the fact that he lets go of the wheel so he can grab his head and he's now driving with his knees. I know he's tall and I know he does this a lot, but...I don't know...my internal scream is deafening.

   "I mean, they're so preoccupied with the fact that they could..." I let it drift off and Michael picks it up perfectly.

   "They didn't stop to think if they should. Exactly." He claps to punctuate the point--really bringing it home. Not that he needs to. I literally let him finish my sentence. "Can't wait to watch that steaming pile of shit dominate the box office."

   "Here's hoping it doesn't open against anything that actually deserves to make all the money," I grumble.

   "Oh it definitely will."

Michael follows release dates and box office reports with the kind of dedication that most people have for fantasy football. Come to think of it, he's even apart of a fantasy movie league. I don't think he does very well, but he still talks about his picks every single week and walks me through his predictions for how he thinks every film will perform over the coming weekend.

   He shrugs. "I might see it though."

   I laugh in a way that sounds, and kind of feels, like one of those sneezes that you manage to hold back and force down your throat.

   "What?" He looks at me; he's smiling, but he knows I'm judging him.

   God, am I judging him.

   "You have a problem," I say simply.

   His smile grows, "I do. I've never said I don't."

   "You're obsession with Shawn—"

   He holds up his hand to stop me. "Not an obsession. This is love, Lyla. I love him."

   I side eye him, hard.

   "I do," he laughs. "I am in love with him."

   I roll my eyes and laugh lightly. "I'm gonna kick you." I look back at my phone and keep scrolling through Instagram. Unfortunately, my feed is 80% posts about Max's casting.

Michael must feel my pain because he laughs again and says: "You'll never be rid of him. He's everywhere." He waves his right hand around and wiggles his fingers for extra emphasis.  

   God, maybe I'll tuck and roll out my own door.

   I open Google and search for more articles about Shawn. The Deadline article pops up first so I click on it and read aloud.

   "Shawn Mendes to star in the highly anticipated Breakfast Club remake."

   "Highly anticipated by who???" Michael's skepticism is exactly how I feel right now, but I continue.

   "Just two weeks after news broke that Paramount would be remaking some of it's John Hughes' classics, it was announced early Tuesday morning that Grammy-nominated singer, Shawn Mendes has joined the cast of the modern-day reimagining of Hughes', The Breakfast Club. His role is yet to be revealed, but Mendes is the first casting to be confirmed after it was announced that Greta Gerwig (Little Women) is set to direct and the screenwriting pair who brought you Love, Simon and This Is Us: Elizabeth Berger and Isaac Apataker, along with and John Francis Daley (Spider-Man: Homecoming) were picked to pen the script. Fans eagerly anticipate Mendes' long awaited, and long promised, big screen debut."

   "Well, they got that right!" Michael whoops. "Anyone else been cast yet?"

   I repeat the part of the article where it says Shawn's the first person to be cast.

Michael flips me off and I smile. He sticks his tongue out while he glances at me, but I ignore him.

   "That's our exit," I point out. His blinker's on before I finish and he moves over to get off.

   A car swerves into the lane ahead of us, causing Michael to stop on his breaks for only a second. It continues into the exit and comes to a sudden stop. A middle-aged white guy gets out of the driver's seat and storms around to the passenger side.

   He's pointing at us.

   And he's yelling.

   "What the fuck," Michael laughs, trying to mask his nervousness as the guy walks into the highway and toward our car, still yelling at the top of his lungs.

   He wants to fight with us, I think. I don't know why though. We didn't do anything.

Michael has to swerve to avoid him, but the man reaches out and hits the car. His palm smacks Michael's window. Michael puts his foot to the floor, we barrel onto the exit ramp—but the guy manages to hit the back of the car again as we pass him.

   "What the fuck?!"

   "Holy shit!"

   "What the fuck is going on?!"

   "He's insane!"

Michael's speeding too fast as we go around the turn for the clover exit and we're both thrown a bit to the side. Thankfully we're the only car on the ramp so we can drift through the two lanes and not have to worry about anyone.

   "What the hell was that?" I shout once we're off the ramp and heading down the straight road that goes right up to the park gates.

   "What the fuck just happened?! Did I do something?!" The corners of Michael's mouth are pulled tightly down and he's squinting his eyes again. It's a face he makes a lot whenever things just get too much for him and he doesn't have words or emotions or anything else to express how he's feeling. Somehow, this face says it all.

   "No."

   "Then why the fuck did he do that?!"

   "I don't fucking know!"

Michael laughs awkwardly and I laugh too and our nervous energies bounce off each other until we're legitimately laughing so hard that my stomach hurts and Michael's wiping tears from his eyes.

   "That's the stuff of nightmares," he chokes out.

   "It's always the crazy ass white people," I chuckle.

   "Please kill me before I turn into that."

   "With pleasure."

   We pull up to the gates of the park as a mass exodus of people since it's almost to sunset and closing time. Michael's laughter calms down and he composes himself as he rolls down his window to talk to the guards.

   "We're with the movie," he says and the woman in the hut waves us on.

   I shake my head. "I can't believe that's all it takes for us to get through. They don't even ask us what movie."

Michael shakes his head too and his laughter bubbles up again. "A mess."

   I feel my laughter coming back too. "A whole ass mess."

***

I plop my big canvas bag down on the table and drop into my chair. It's plastic and collapsible and probably over a decade old, but right now it's the comfiest thing in the world. I'm exhausted and my coffee doesn't seem to be helping today. I'm tempted to fold my arms on the table and fall asleep resting on the soft, squishy cushioning of my biceps.

   I'm pretty sure Michael's got the same idea cause he pulls out a second hoodie from his backpack and bundles it up, sets it on the table in front of him, then rests his head on it and hugs his arms around it, holding it tight. He's wearing another hoodie, but he needs that one to conserve the little body heat he probably has right now. I wish I had an extra jacket to wrap myself up in too. I'm wearing fleece leggings and an XL men's sweatshirt, but I'm still shivering. Michael's in his usual shorts, t-shirt, and hoodie combo so he's probably already suffering from hypothermia or frostbite or both.

   I wonder if that pile of cheap Walmart fleece blankets is still around. A lot of people walked off with their blankets when we wrapped this morning, but maybe there's still a few lying around. They got kinda soaked and gross last night when it rained, but here's hoping they're dry by now.

   I'm too cold and too tired to care about how clean they are. Hell, even if they made me so sick, I'd have to go to the hospital, I'd take that over the shitfest that has been this shoot.

   We're almost done with our second week of filming here and we're not even halfway done. We were supposed to finish earlier this week, but the weather has not been kind. At this point, they're just trying to wrap first team here so they can move onto their next location, but the extras will still be stuck here with second team to finish up the stunt stuff since this is a major battle sequence. I believe it's supposed to be the climax, but I refuse to read the book this movie is based on. Julie-Anne read it cause she reads everything and Michael started it, but he can't stand it and Julie-Anne wishes she'd never opened it so I'm not even going to bother. I don't even know the first word and I'm perfectly okay with that. They'll tell me things they think I should know.

   I finally see the mound of blankets on the ground up against the tent on the side where the exit to the costumes and hair and makeup tent is. The pavement is still wet and there are still a few puddles around so I highly doubt that any of the blankets are actually dry, but I'll get Michael to go check.

   "Hey," I bump his arm gently, but he doesn't even slightly budge. It's barely been a few minutes and he's already out like a light. I swear he's narcoleptic or sleep is his superpower or something. My vote is the latter. He's got that Peter Parker look to him. I wouldn't be surprised. He could fall asleep when he's hanging upside down with Spidey. They'll call him Possum.

Even though I'm really freaking tired, if I fall asleep right now, I'm going to be groggy and miserable all day. Might as well fight my way through this current bout of drowsiness, chug some coffee, eat breakfast, and keep going. There's no food set out yet, so I down a few gulps of coffee and open my phone.

Instagram loads up instantly and it's still on the posts about Shawn Mendes being cast in The Breakfast Club. I scroll through a few of them, most use the same photo, which I'm pretty sure they just copy/pasted from the Deadline article, but a few are different. There are a lot of red carpet shots, but a few magazine photoshoots. Then MTV has a TBT from his appearance on The 100. Pretty sure that's the only acting he's done. At least, it's all I've seen.

I keep scrolling until I recognize a Variety photoshoot and click on their article

Of all the 80s classics audiences are desperate to see get the remake-over, The Breakfast Club may not be the first on people's minds, but it's definitely all anyone can talk about right now. News broke this morning on Deadline that singer Shawn Mendes has been cast as one of the misunderstood teens stuck in Saturday detention. Which teen was not confirmed so we're left speculating if Shawn is more of an athlete, brain, or a criminal. This reporter would honestly like to see them switch things up and maybe the heartthrob will be a basket case or, better yet, a prince?

   The article goes on to talk about the director and writers who I read about before so I scroll past.

   The film does not yet have a release date, but production is slated to begin in late September in Atlanta, Georgia.

   Holy shit.

   They're filming here.

   I kick Michael's chair and falling sensation startles him awake.

   "That was cruel," he glares at me.

   "Sorry, but you have to see this."

   I hold my phone right up to his face. His eyes are squinting, but I can see them moving along the page as he reads. His eyebrows raise slightly when he reaches the end.

   "Find out the casting company so we can apply," he mutters, then lowers his head back down and covers his face with his hoodie. My eyes are trained on my phone, but I can't help being distracted by his fidgeting. He must not be able to get back into the comfort of before cause he moves around for a minute, adjusting the jacket pillow, the hoodie he's wearing, and his chair. He ultimately puts his hood up and tugs it over his forehead, then scoots his chair back a few inches before curling back up on his makeshift pillow.

   I google more information about The Breakfast Club. It would be cool to work on it with my friends, but so far I'm not seeing any extras casting calls. I did find a crew call though.

   I don't have much on my resume, but I really do want to break into the tech side of production. I've only done two other projects so far and one of them was a student short film where I did special effects make-up for a ghost. The other was my first ever film, which I wasn't signed onto officially. I had a friend in the cast and he let me tag along. Since I didn't have a specific job, they just used me wherever they needed me.

   I find the email to contact about crew, then copy/paste it into Gmail and attach my resume. I add a few more things to it, mainly rehashing my contact info, skills, and previous sets I've worked on and what I did, then I paste in a few photos of the makeup I've done. I hope it's enough and not too much.

   I read back over it, edit a few misspellings, then hit send.

   Fingers crossed.

   When I look back up from my phone, there are a few more extras here now and they're getting settled into their usual spots. We can sit anywhere, but it's the same kind of thing that happens in high school and college, once you've chosen your spot, it's your spot until the end of time and if anyone tries to take it from you, you'll fight them.

Michael fought a group of obnoxious 16-year-olds once and one of them actually tattled on him to their mom and she came over and scolded him. He has no tolerance for the minors or set moms and I can't say I blame him. They're the literal worst.

   Our favorite casting assistant, Shelly shows up about 10 minutes later and she waves at me happily, then sneaks over quietly and scares Michael awake. He's about to murder her until he realizes who it is, then he relaxes and gives her a hug. We laugh and talk for a while and he asks about the I-9s, but apparently, we can't help her fill them out anymore cause she got in trouble for it last time. But, she slides us three I-9 forms and checks our names off the list, then goes back to her table to get her work done before call time and we fill out our forms, tuck them in our bags, then leave to go find breakfast.

   When we come back, the last member of our trio, Julie-Anne, is in her seat. Her completed I-9 on the table next to an open book, her knitting in her lap, and a blanket wrapped around her shoulders.

   There's no way she's been here longer than five minutes, but she's a master at making herself at comfortable.

   She looks up at us as we walk up to the table and her eyes light up when she notices our plates.

   "Ooo!" she exclaims excitedly. "Pancakes?"

   I nod and tilt my plate to show her and before we can say anything, she's up and speeding out of the tent to find food.

   "You gotta hand it to her," I laugh lightly. "She works fast."

   "Yeah." Michael sets down his food and drink and picks up her knitting. When we wrapped yesterday, she'd just started a new blanket, it's almost halfway done now. "Too fast."

   We look at each other skeptically, then back at the bright neon orange blanket, then at each other again, and burst out laughing.

---

So, yeah. That’s chapter 1. Let me know what you think.

[adorealeclightwood]

Alec in 3x10.

It took me forever to get around to actually doing this because a bitch was hurt, okay? Fuck. This whole episode was rough. Plus, I thought I had this in the queue, but it’s actually been sitting in my drafts since Thursday, so forgive me for being a temporary dumbass lol.

Let’s get started. 

I’m going to begin with the scene we were all waiting for. 

Right off the bat, I loved that Magnus told Alec more about his history with Asmodeus. He may be a greater demon, but he took Magnus in when he had no one else, and was the only person in the world he could relate to for a very long time. I think it was super important for Alec to know that, and to know that Magnus turning to his father for help after all this time was no easy choice. 

Then, he finds out Magnus is going to Edom, and he can’t be the understanding boyfriend anymore. He can’t just stand there and nod, because there’s no fucking way he’d ever be okay with this. 

Magnus cracks a joke about the cell service being terrible there (which I thought was interesting - more on that later), and Alec doesn’t find it funny, because “this is insane”. 

Last week, I said I had a problem with Magnus asking Alec to tell him that Jace wasn’t worth it, but now that I’ve had the chance to watch the whole episode a few times over, the line wasn’t nearly as bad as we thought it would be. Magnus wasn’t “forcing” Alec to make a choice - he’d already made the choice for him, because he knows how much Jace means to him. He also knows that while Alec cares for Jace, he’d never bring himself to ask Magnus to do anything that would put him in danger. By stepping up and making his own decisions (like the grown ass, powerful ass man he is), he was giving Alec one less thing to worry about. 

On top of that, we have to give Magnus a lot more credit, especially where Alec is concerned. While a lot of the choices he makes have a lot of connections to Alec, ultimately, Magnus makes decisions for himself. Deep down, I’m sure Alec understands that, but he’s got a one track mind, remember? He has a tendency to jump to conclusions when it comes to people he loves, and right now, Magnus is about to descent into hell to save his parabatai, and stop Lilith. That’s a lot to process within a couple of minutes. 

(I’m horrible with explanations right now because I’m running off three hours of sleep, so forgive me if I’m confusing you.)

Then, we get the iconic scene we’ve been quoting for months. 

Magnus is ready to go, but Alec isn’t quite ready to watch him leave.

“You’re gonna make it back, you hear me?”

The way Alec’s eyes move up and down Magnus’ face? As if he were committing every last detail to memory on the off chance that Magnus didn’t make it back? 

Bitch, I almost passed out.

“Why wouldn’t I? Look what I have waiting for me.” 

And Alec can’t do anything but kiss him, almost like he’s memorizing that too. Then, they pull away, but keep their eyes closed; they’re savoring that moment, because there’s a very real possibility it’ll be their last.

That got to me. 

I want everyone to know that nothing about this was forced. Nothing. 

Magnus did what he did because he chose to do it. He’s allowed to.

Remember that.

Moving on. 

WE GET TO SEE ALEC WITH HIS BOW AND ARROW.

I may be the weakest Alec Lightwood stan in existence, but when I see my man with his favorite weapon, my Alec-is-about-to-commit-some-badassery senses start tingling, and I start yelling. I also turn my TV up dramatically, because you know I love dramatics. 

Not only is he back in archer mode, but he’s talking to my newly crowned dynamic duo: Luke and Maryse. 

Luke asks if he’s heard from Magnus, and for a minute, it’s like everything comes rushing back. He hesitates, but not for too long, because he can’t let them know that there’s anything wrong. I know it was Magnus’ choice to go to Edom, and there’s still a part of Alec that wants to save Jace no matter what, but it doesn’t change the fact that in Alec’s mind, Magnus being in hell and not right there by his side feels very wrong, in a way. Maryse makes that extremely gif worthy quote about Magnus waiting to make a dramatic entrance, and Alec does what he’s been doing since season one. 

He takes every bit of the worry and anxiety he’s feeling, and locks it away to focus on the mission. A very dangerous mission that his mother is ready to take part in. 

And of course, protective Alec makes an appearance to ask Maryse to sit this one out. I feel like it’s important to mention how seamless of a transition they seem to be making. Not too long ago, Maryse probably would’ve been the one calling the shots, and Alec would’ve made sure everything went according to plan. Now, he has to tell her to stay out of it, because it’s dangerous for everyone involved, let alone a woman who just recently lost her shadow hunting abilities.

Life comes at you fast, dude. 

Next up, we get a little impatient Alec, who is also one of my faves. (Right up there with salty Alec.) 

“Simon’s been in the building forever, what’s taking him so long?”

“Alec, it’s a high rise.”   

I screamed because that is so Alec. Like, he doesn’t care if it’s two stories or twenty - hurry the hell up. 

Izzy takes a look at the magic Lilith is using, and once again, Alec shows us how much he’s grown. 

“With or without Magnus, we have to get Clary out of there.”

I’ve been saying I want their friendship to prosper, but THIS IS PEAK FRIENDSHIP. Clary’s in trouble, and Alec wants to save her. Not because of Jace, Izzy, Magnus, or even Luke. Alec wants to save Clary because she’s a friend. 

Excuse me while I kick and scream in excitement over that, as well as that little exchange between Simon and Alec, who also need to join the BFFs club.

Okay. On to the hard shit. 

[Note: Have any of you guys seen Deadpool? The first one, not the new one. Deadpool makes a comment about a superhero landing, and the Owl totally nailed it, only he’s not a superhero. He’s a villainous demon, but I thought I’d point it out anyway.]

As soon as the Owl lands in front of Alec, it takes him all of two seconds to get his bow ready. The last time he saw Jace, he was in tears, scared out of his mind. The time before that, he was in Magnus’ loft, talking shit to everybody.

Last time, he begged for death, and Alec refused to kill him. He isn’t going to make that mistake again, no matter what the Owl says to throw him off. 

Then, the fighting starts, and the struggle is real, because the Owl knows him. He’s tapped into every corner of Jace’s mind, so he’s learned a lot, including Alec’s fighting style. They’re parabatai; they’re meant to be fighting together, letting one’s strengths cover for the other’s weaknesses. They’re not supposed to fight each other for real. For training purposes, yes, but not with the intent to kill. 

Alec does that sexy ass backflip move and gets his arrows ready, and the Owl gets Jace’s blades out. I’ve mentioned Alec fighting defensively instead of offensively, and every time I spoke on it, I was thinking of this particular scene. 

The Owl starts doing all these extra spin moves, and Alec dodges him every single time. He waits for an opportunity to present itself, and when it does, he takes it, stabbing the Owl in the knee with one of his arrows. 

So not only is Alec the equivalent of a sniper with his bow and arrow, he can also use them up close and personal in hand-to-hand combat. I love a man with multiple skills! 

Back to the fighting. They’re both kicking, swinging, and doing a whole lot of grunting, but nothing really happens until Alec stabs him again, this time in the arm. The Owl gets slash happy with the blades, but of course, he never cuts Alec, and Alec stabs him for the third time.

At this point, Alec is clearly tired of fighting this bitch, and then I started thinking: maybe that was the Owl’s plan all along. Say some stuff about tearing him apart with Jace’s hands, make him think he’s got the upper hand for a little bit, then pounce at the first sign of weakness. It’s rude, yet effective. 

Then, the Owl does something to Alec that fucked me up mentally. I talked about it here. He broke Alec’s hand, and I felt it through the screen. 

Anyone who’s ever broken a bone knows what I’m talking about. 

Alec screams, and the pain is both physical and mental, because the bones in his wrist just made a noise no one ever wants to hear, and also because it’s his hand. An archer with a broken hand is like a car with no engine. It just doesn’t work. 

The Owl gets Alec on the ground and starts talking shit (as usual), but this time, he’s holding one of Alec’s arrows, and he’s ready to kill him. Alec stops him, and starts talking to Jace, because he knows he’s still in there, and he’s crying, because his worst nightmare is playing out in front of his eyes. 

Alec is on his back with one of his own arrows being shoved into his chest, and the only thing he wants is for Jace to know that it’s okay; he forgives him, and he’s sorry they couldn’t save him. 

Selfless men just break my heart in the most exquisite of ways. 

Then, Magnus king-of-saving-the-day Bane shows up, and we all breathe a little easier. 

After he blasts the Owl back to whatever hellhole he crawled out of, he goes straight to Alec, who’s still lying there with an arrow in his chest, making jokes. 

Earlier in the episode, when Magnus was preparing to go to Edom, he did the same thing, because he was trying to hide how terrified he was. Now, Alec is trying to hide his pain. 

Literally everyone on this show picks up little things from one another. 

Jace is finally back to himself, and runs over to active one of Alec’s runes. It could’ve been an iratze (you know, the magical rune that can apparently heal everything from a tiny cut to a broken spine), or maybe another rune to make him comfortable so he doesn’t hurt himself with every breath. 

Magnus tells Jace he’ll take care of Alec, but before he leaves, he looks down at him, and Alec nods. He’s already reminded Jace that it wasn’t his fault, and now, he’s got the love of his life by his side. Even in the midst of a crisis, Alec hasn’t forgotten the mission. Their whole reason for being at that building. 

Clary. 

He was only meant to kill the Owl while Luke and Izzy went in to get Clary, and now that Jace is back, they still need to save her. So he nods, because even though it’s a shitty situation, they aren’t finished yet. 

This episode just...ugh. My heart. 

Alexander Lightwood deserves a thousand hugs and kisses, and all the love and protection this world has to offer. 

Thanks for coming to my final Ted Talk for 3A. I can’t wait for August. 

[isthisthingeven0n]

Before I fall (a rundown of the movie)

* this is all context for a piece I have coming up soon and is based on this movie. It’s a complex one so it’ll help a lot to read this and my girl who submitted this is hilarious, so thank you again for taking the time to write this all out for me 🥰 *

So Zoeys character (Samantha) Wakes up at 6:30 am on cupids day. (Very important detail.) she gets picked up by her friends and one of them give her a condom because she’s finally 18 and is gonna have sex for the first time.

Fast forward a bit.

They get to school to see everyone preparing roses for Cupid’s day (Valentine’s Day) and then they get to class. In class as the teacher was talking about something (I did some research my dude, he was talking about Sisyphus) But was interrupted as a bunch of girls walked in with roses to be handed out. While everyone got a simple red rose, someone bought Sam a “unique” rose. It was v colourful. (The girl that gave it to her soar the rose was pretty.)

Another fast forward.

After class this guy comes up to Sam while she’s walking, (his name is Kent) and asks if she liked the rose he got her. He invites her to a party at his house , but she says fuckity no.

They’re now at lunch (they being, Sam and her squad) and they’re chatting, talking about boys and Sams boyfriend (who’s played by kian Lawley- his name is Rob) they talk about Anna breaking up with her girlfriend (I think-) and then laugh at Juliet the loner. They think she’s insane cuz she sits alone, draws crazy sht and also “looks weird.” So as a joke they send a gag rose to her. Then Sam finds out everyone’s going to main man Kent’s party so she’s like “oh sht k let’s go my dudes.” (Not a quote)

After school they’re getting ready for the party and main bitch (not a compliment) Lindsay, gives tips to Sam on her first time. They get to the party and Kent tries to get in with Sam but she kinda brushes him off. Sam finds Rob, but he’s a drunk mess. And then they party but WUH OH !! Juliet shows up, poor babe does nothing wrong but once again main bitch Lindsay’s gotta be a dollar store thot. Lindsya confronts Juliet and then Juliet’s like “hell no you thot.” (Once again not a quote) and then Lindsay throws her drink at Juliet. Lindsay calls Juliet names and everyone’s laughing at Juliet. Juliets embarrassed and upset so she leaves crying and then Kent my main man comes in and is like “woah what happened?” He finds out what happens and basically becomes the “I am, Disgusted.” Vine. He also found out that Sam was apart of it. Something about Rob throwing up in the kitchen and then Lindsay wanted to leave, so they did.

As they’re driving back (don’t be a Lindsay and drive while drunk.) it’s really awkward and sht, Lindsay asks what the time is, it’s 12:39 am. They run over something, get distracted and get run off the road after missing a truck. Inevitably ending up in a car crash.

BAM ITS 6:30 AM ON CUPIDS DAY AGAIN.

Sam wakes up exactly how she did last time. Tells her sister “it’s Saturday” her sister laughs at her and sams like “maybe it was just a dream.” Proceeds with her morning routine (💁🏻‍♀️) she goes on with her day, goes to the party (everything happens again) and as they’re in the car Sam turns to Lindsay and is like “watch out for the truck” Lindsay’s confused and is like “what truck?” And then they get in the car accident again and you’ll never believe it-

ITS 6:30 AM ON CUPIDS DAY BITCHESSSSS

She wakes up again, same thing but this time she’s like “I feel sick.” So her mum lets her go to school late. She gets to school and Kent gives her the flower because she wasn’t in class, she says what he says at the same time and walks off. Sam gets to lunch and sees her friends and is like “why do y’all hate Juliet?” (NOT A QUOTE) and Lindsay is like “she’s a freak.” Blah blah blah. This time they don’t go to the party, Sam convinced them to have a sleepover instead (thought she found a loophole- spoiler alert she didn’t) and Lindsay texts Rob saying they couldn’t go cuz Sam is on her period.

They have fun blah blah blah, Sam checks the time and guess what? It’s not 12:39 am it’s actually 12:40 am now. She’s relieved and thinks she survived, so she tells her friends she loves them. They laugh and brush it off. They fall asleep but wake up to a text saying Juliet killed herself. Lindsay is pissed and the other two girls go to another room because they’re shook. Sam asks Lindsay if her and Juliet were friends once and Lindsay gets more pissed and doesn’t answer.

The end.

JUST KIDDING ITS 6:30 AM ON CUPIDS DAY AGAIN.

Sam wakes up and she relieves the same day over and over again (we get a montage) at one point she’s like “am I dead? Is this hell?” She’s like fck it. She’s annoyed of living the same day with no changes, so she wears really revealing clothes, fights with her family. Her friend tries to give her the condom, Sam gets pissed and snaps at her. Her friends ask about her serious new attitude problem and then Sam yells at them and argues with Lindsay who kicks Sam out of the car. She gets to school, gets up to throw Kent’s rose away and gets kinky with the teacher asking him if she excites him. Kent confronts her and is like “this isn’t you Sam.” And then she goes to the bathroom to talk to Anna and they bond. Sam asks Anna if she ever felt like she’s living the same day over and over again, Anna says that that’s her life.

Sam goes to Kent’s party, gets confronted by one of her friends who tell her she needs to stop acting like someone she isn’t. Sam talks to Lindsay which causes an argument. Sam makes out with Rob and they start having some sexy time, but she stops him halfway through cuz she’s upset. He asks her if she wants him to say “I love you.” And she starts crying, storms off to Kent’s room, he comforts her they have a moment and then he brings her to his bed (nothing happens) and as he’s comforting her he gets a text, she tells him to ignore it and for him to stay with her.

The next day (once again Cupids day) Sams like “being a hoe isn’t great” and realised that it made her feel worse. She spends her day bonding with this girl in the woods and then goes it for dinner with her family, apologising to them for how shitty she’s been. Her mum tells her to go out with her friends and sams like “fineeee” And then she ends up in Kent’s room again, this time they kiss. (And also talk about how Sam got her pretending to be a flying squirrel)

Their moment gets interrupted by Juliet and Lindsay having the argument. Sam rushes down hoping she could stop the fight but is too late, only making it down to see Juliet running off in tears. Sam chases after her through the woods and they end up at the edge of the road (like the road and then the entrance to the woods) Juliet goes batshit and says sam and her friends are horrible people. She then explains her and Lindsay used to be friends and she was there for her through Lindsay’s parents divorce. The whole thing got so bad for younger Lindsay to the point where she started wetting the bed. And one night at camp she blamed Juliet for wetting the bed (in reality it was Lindsay) Juliet then runs onto the road and is hit bY Lindsay’s car, Sam then realised that that’s what they hit every time. And with this information Sam decides to have one more same day, this time knowing what to do.

Sam wakes up again, but this time in a better mood and is much more nicer to her family. In the car she tells her friends why she lives them. (This is quoted off a website.) “ally for her curiosity, Elody for her Love and Lindsay for her passion.” They get to school and Sam writes a note on the roses. For Juliet (once again quotes off the website) “ for Juliet she writes that ‘it’s never too late.’ And to Kent she writes that he’s her hero.” When In class Sam compliments Anna for her boots. And at lunch she goes over to Main f boy Rob and breaks up with him. He gets triggered and says he should’ve gone for Elody.

When they get to the party Sam stops Juliet from going in, telling her that she knows what she’s planning to do and then begins apologising for how bad her and her friends had been to Juliet. Sam tried to go after Juliet but Kent grabs her arm, she tells Kent he was the best kiss she ever had and then runs after Juliet leaving Kent really confused. (because in the other same days they kissed but in the current one they hadn’t, meaning he doesn’t remember the kiss) Sam catches up to Juliet, trying to convince her not to kill herself but Juliet is pretty set on it. As Juliet tries to jump in front of an oncoming truck, Sam pushes her out of the way and getting hit instead.

As Sam lays lifeless on the road with Juliet trying to “wake her up” Sam narrates that she sees only the good bits of her life, people like her friends, Kent and her family. And then we see Juliet telling Sam that she saved her life. And then we see sams spirit looking at the scene in front of her. And a voice over version of Sam commenting on how Juliet was the one who saved Sam instead.

THE END.

Source: http://www.themoviespoiler.com/2017Spoilers/BeforeIfall.html

[stefandesofia]

Stories from the Unliving Ch 3

“And that’s how I saved humanity from a reset” said I to the wide-eyed man. 

“You can’t be serious! You went through all that trouble, you literally survived through a war, stopping it BY YOURSELF! And they still ended up taking you apart to learn what made you live?”

“Ah well, it’s fine. All those people are dead now, and even if they did hold me in a cage for years, I can’t die, so I just waited for the cage to fall apart. Only took about 300 years for the metal to get too rusty, and I managed to break it.”

“Even still! It was heartless of them, they cut you up, took you apart, when you should have been treated as the hero you were! Why, if I could go back, and give them a piece of my mind!”

“They still ended up dying anyways, though I don’t know what caused it, since I was locked away. I did end up looking around, after I got out. It was very interesting, everybody was gone. There was little to no damage to the buildings around. There was cars and whatnot that had obviously crashed into things, but it’s like all the people disintegrated. That was about 4000 years into the current reset, so very high level of technology. I checked out the military bases that I knew, and most of them were empty, though a couple I couldn’t get open either, so that’s likely where you had hid that time. I ran some scans using the leftover equipment, so I could check what might have happened. The radiation was really high around. And I mean, everything dies in less than 1 seconds of exposure, and by 20 minutes, only a bloody pile is left kind of high. I’m guessing what happened there was, some sort of radiation wave hit the planet, likely something from the sun, and only the quickest and most well off people managed to hide in underground bunkers. I ended up not communicating with anyone at that point for over 3000 years until the radiation died down a bunch. I also tried helping. You know that area, waaaaay up north? That place where you people call it cursed? Where anything that goes too close, be it people or animal dies? Yeah, I did that.”

“I thought you said you weren’t an evil lich! And now you’ve cursed the whole Valley of Death?”

“Nah, I made it easier for all you to live on the surface again. I went with a truck I fixed, and by hand scraped down and decontaminated all surfaces, gathering all the radioactive material off the surfaces of literally everything, putting it in the truck and driving it off over to the Valley. You know how bad radioactive stuff is for technology? I had to use all trucks in over 300 different shipping yards, fill them in, and after the 14th-15th truckful they would stop working, and I would just start driving them in the Valley as far as they would go, and once they broke for good, I’d just abandon them, walk back the several hundred miles, and start over with another truck. Considering how deadly that area still is, even after 13.000 years, I’d say, I single-handedly managed to bring you lot to the surface thousands of years before you would have gone out on your own. And you know, you might not have, at that point. I read that people can only really stay underground for a few generations at most. Not being able to see the sky or something messes with your heads, and you either go insane, or drop dead.”

“Well, in the name of all of humanity, past and present, I thank you for the work that you’ve put in, that noone but me even realises.”

“Don’t sweat it! It actually gave me a purpose. Not being able to even talk to animals was a real bitch, so I needed something to keep me ‘alive’ so to speak. But you know, I never really figured out exactly what the issue was. I only had my speculations, but since all technology died from the massive EMP that swept over, pretty much erasing all records of things. I watched the sun from a telescope for a while, but the large ball of white didn’t help much, I’m afraid.”

“How did you look at the sun? Wouldn’t it have damaged... your... eyes... I realised the error in that question, forget I asked anything”

“It’s fine, you’re used to something, and it’s difficult to wrap your brain around anything else.”

“What about the time while you spent locked up? Did you have anyone to talk to?”

“Well, I don’t feel pain, so they would take me apart, and almost get me atomized, and then put back together, but I would still be able to speak, and whatnot, so I definitely made them enjoy my witty commentary. There was that one doctor chick. Don’t remember the name, but she had the dorkiest laugh. Every time I would comment on them taking me apart again, she would laugh. She probably got reassigned because of that. Getting too close to the subject and all that. And looking back on it, if you laugh at the joke ‘Hey baby, I hear there’s a party coming up, and I have no body to go with. Wanna go with me?’ while I am just a piece of skull on a table, they must really like you. Shame too. She was a looker. After that, all that was left was sweaty, fat guys in coffee stained lab coats. There was this one particular tubbo, he was the nastiest piece of work. He was balding, but just on top, he had the largest boil on his forehead, and his sweat stains would soak through the lab coat, even. He had the worst, most evil attitude! He would put his cup on my skull, and hold me in his greasy, little, fat hand. Would even sit on me. And then when I would tell the other people there he would say things like ‘Would you really believe what this freak of nature says? Why would I sit on it?’ and it would always work! I bet if that chick doctor was there, she would have believed me! But no! He was the replacement for her!”

“He really does sound awful. Why didn’t you talk to the leader of the settlement about him?”

“You think the general would go down to where all his lowly science dudes were? Nah, he’d stay up in his office/suite, and just have the people bring him food and news, while he sent his assistant down to give orders.”

“And you didn’t talk to that person? Why not?”

“Not due to a lack of trying, I’ll definitely tell you that! Nah, they would always put me in a box whenever they expected someone important to come. Can’t let the ‘big, bad, evil skeleton’ do anything to our dear leaders!”

“Wait, if you were taken apart, who put you back together, so you could escape? I get the sense that you can’t move then taken apart.”

“Oh, I can, I just didn’t. I can actually control every bone in the body individually. Here, watch” and I take my left fist into my right hand, detach is, and chuck it over the pond’s surface. Right before it hit the water, I stopped the bones midair, and pulled them back to me. “I can only really pull the pieces closer, and not much else. And even this took me many years to figure out.”

“That’s witchcraft! How did you do that?”

“I mean, magic doesn’t exist, so not witchcraft. I can control the bones in my body, so I am put together again, but nothing else.”

“Even so, this really is reminiscent of magic. Can you do it to other people’s bones too?”

“Nah, have to consider the bone a part of me. I guess, technically, if I just go crazy and decide, and fully believe, that all bones on the planet belonged to me, I could pull them closer and become this colossal mass of bones. I wonder if it will pull the people, or pull the bones only and leave the flesh. I guess it’s a good thing we’ll never find out, right? Ha!”

“That truly is a terrifying thought. Noone will be able to stop you, as you will be able to just control everyone.”

“Worse yet, since all bones will be mine, I will be the singular cause for the permanent extinction of all vertebrates on the planet! No more resets, no more people, no more big animals. Only me and the snails! That’s a little funny”

“I suspect we have different definitions of funny”

“Having consumed as much media as I have, you get numb to most things.”

We stood there in silence for a while. 

“I think I’ll go now” said the man. “I actually have an outing later tonight with this maiden that I fancy, so I need to polish my armor!”

“Wait, don’t tell me you plan to go dressed like That!”

“Is there anything wrong with my family’s armor? It was passed down for generations as an heirloom! Only the greatest of warriors have ever worn it, and now I have that same honor!”

“Oh for the love of everything that’s living still, you can’t expect to ask a girl out and then go dressed like you’re ready to slay her! Come here!” I pulled him closer and started undoing his armor straps. “You need to dress to impress, and I bet if I still had the ability to smell, you would reek! When’s the last time you took a shower?”

“I do not know that word, but I washed up just a few weeks ago, and I haven’t even fought anything.”

“A few weeks?! Jesus! I knew it! Help me out here! Take all this tin can stuff off! Oh, lord, there’s a chainmail underneath, what are you going to fight, a dragon?”

“No, you told me all of them died out. I am showing pride in my family’s name!”

“Yeah, no, I get that, but can’t you just wear, say, a nice set of clothes, and a cape with your family’s crest on the back? And like, the sword hanging at your side, if you reeeeeaally need it that bad.”

“... I suppose that would work, but I will have to requisition a cape made with my crest. Back in town there is a tailor, that I’ve heard does a fine work at things.”

“Now we’re talking! It’s too late now to get it done, but we can still dress you up a little better. Do you have any other clothes in that pack of yours?”

“Of course, I always keep a spare set. Have a look.”

“I suppose these will have to do, now start bathing!”

Took a while to get all the grime scrubbed off, and of course, I didn’t let him anywhere near my pond with that soap of his, just sent him down the stream a bit so he doesn’t contaminate anything. 

“You’re almost glowing!” I said. “I didn’t even realise your skin was that white!” 

“I know, it’s terrible! It’s a show of my sheltered life! I was never allowed to leave the walled off area around the house, and the only place I was allowed to explore was the small area in our garden where there were trees planted.”

“What are you talking about, you look great! If I were a chick, and still had any skin, I’d totally go for you. But let’s get you ready, put the clothes on... Great, and let’s shine those boots. Perfect. I have an idea for finishing the look, here” and I took just the chest plate from his armor and put it over his vest. “Now this way, you can show off your house emblem AND look like you’re going on a date. Do you have a flower guy?”

“I’m sorry? Ah! If I have anywhere to buy her a flower? No, why would I do that?”

“Are you kidding me? You like her, right?”

“Sure, she’s real pretty, and very smart.”

“And you want her to like you, right?”

“Of course. She would make a wonderful wife”

“Just don’t tell her that to her face. Okay, you need to get her a flower. Just give me a minute” and I dove back in the water. I picked some bright water-weeds, a few lili blossoms, some greens from the nearby willow, and wrapped them all up in a piece of parchment, tied together with a piece of string. “Here! Now you won’t look completely helpless”

“Thank you! This is amazing! I didn’t know you could make such beautiful things with flowers”

“Yeah, yeah, had time to read books on design, and learned a thing or two. Now! Before you do anything else, before you meet up with the girl, you go to that tailor, and you get him to make that cloak. You want it to be an over the shoulder kind, and go up to right above the butt, as that will show off what you’re working with, but also will have enough space for the house logo. And the over the shoulder type is what the nobles wear just about every reset, so it’s a good bet!”

“I will! Thank you again! I will tell you how it went, when I come over tomorrow! You will keep my armor safe, right?”

“You better! And duh, it's not like anyone ever comes here.”

"You have my gratitude!"

"Come on! Off you go!"

[glenngaylord]

MY MOMENTS OUT OF TIME IN FILM 2017

Instead of a Top 10 List, every year I like to honor a long-discontinued but influential annual column from Film Comment magazine. I couldn’t wait for my father to come home from work with the “Moments Out Of Time” issue.  The writers would cite their favorite scenes, images, or lines of dialogue, even from films they may not have liked, because let’s face it, even bad films may have a great moment or two, unless you were a film called RINGS, CATFIGHT, THE SNOWMAN, or THE DINNER.  In that case, you suck in the most forgettable of ways. Despite some obvious stinkers, this was a great year for film. Some resonated with me, such as I, TONYA and THE FLORIA PROJECT as they tackled the issue of class in America.  Despite being period pieces, films such as DARKEST HOUR and THE POST pinged on topics such as war-mongering and the need for a free press, both of which we seem to talk about daily right now.  I have a few I need to catch up on, such as MUDBOUND and THE SQUARE, and one I recently saw, A GHOST STORY, wowed me, but I haven’t written a review of it yet.  

Even I can’t see them all, so here, in no particular order, are my Moments Out Of Time in film for 2017:

“America. They want someone to love, but they want someone to hate, and the haters always say, 'Tonya, tell the truth!' There’s no such thing as truth. I mean it’s bullshit! Everyone has their own truth.” - I, TONYA

A little girl (the great Brooklyn Prince) stands in front of a motel room door, telling her little friends they’re not allowed to enter.  She pauses, and then mischievously says, “But let’s go anyways!”  in a moment of pure rebellious, but dangerous joy. - THE FLORIDA PROJECT

A young man (Lucas Hedges) begs his girlfriend (Saoirse Ronan) not to out him in one of the most touching moments of the year. - LADY BIRD

A woman (Cynthia Nixon’s blazing portrayal of Emily Dickinson) desperate to connect with someone, anyone, lights up whenever she’s around her soon-to-depart friend.  It’s a joy you wish she could have at all times.  It’s that ache to spar with another human that cuts to the core of this lonely tragedy. - A QUIET PASSION.  

Try watching the “I did not hit her” rooftop filmmaking sequence without bursting with glee.  One of the best-sustained comedy sequences of the year. - THE DISASTER ARTIST

A beautiful, long final shot of a young man (Timothée Chalamet) swimming in his tearful thoughts as the end credits role will break your heart. - CALL ME BY YOUR NAME

So will his father’s (Michael Stulbarg) 11th hour speech to him. - CALL ME BY YOUR NAME

A ghost in a white sheet with two eye holes, who has traveled across time for centuries, finally finds something important, which jogs his memory, making him feel less alone in the world, and then in a startling swish, is gone. - A GHOST STORY

Meryl Streep, in the most delicious long pause of 2017, struggles with the tough decision whether to publish the Pentagon Papers or not.  She conveys every pro and con with a series of reactions, leaving the audience breathless until she finally, and thrillingly, becomes a feminist heroine for the ages. - THE POST

Sure, it’s ostensibly Daniel Day-Lewis’ last film, but it’s the women, one with a deadening stare (Leslie Manville) and the other with the best eye flutter I’ve ever seen (Vicky Krieps), who take charge of this fascinatingly perverse story of control. - PHANTOM THREAD

A cleaning woman (Octavia Spencer) dusts a giant steampunk contraption as her mute co-worker looks on, sending the increasingly magical fable into a visually stunning dreamscape. - THE SHAPE OF WATER

“You know I can’t give you the keys, right babe?”  A chilling line in a scene in which a sympathetic, engaging character transforms into a monster, making Allison Williams, so often hated and too easily dismissed on GIRLS, as someone to REALLY watch as her career rises and rises.  - GET OUT

A beloved, iconic character from the original film makes a stunning, surprise appearance.  Despite it being CGI, this was the movie-movie moment of 2017. - BLADE RUNNER 2049

A bellicose, raging Prime Minister, known for his speeches, sits quietly with the square-ish frame filled with dark, negative space and seemingly lit by a single, too-bright light bulb.  He’s alone and yet belongs to us all, the push-pull of this theme resonating throughout the entire film. - DARKEST HOUR

“This didn't put an end to shit, you fucking retard; this is just the fucking start. Why don't you put that on your Good Morning Missouri fucking wake up broadcast, bitch?” - THREE BILLBOARDS OUTSIDE EBBING, MISSOURI

Bill Skarsgård’s reading of the line, “Take it!” will haunt me for years. His Pennywise proved to be surprisingly haunting and indelible. - IT

The film’s not great, but Christopher Plummer and Ridley Scott deserve all the “We’re Not Worthy’s” for pulling off the Great Kevin Spacey Replacement of 2017 in 9 days, and actually delivering a full-bodied, memorable character in the process. - ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD

A desperate thief uses his smarts to wheel his badly-injured brother out of the hospital in an impressive feat.  It shows a whip-smart mind in the body of  person with lost potential, and in a moment which proves this well-meaning guy just can’t get a break, it turns out he took the wrong person. - GOOD TIME

Michael Cera, even more villainous and sociopathic than he was in THIS IS THE END, and apparently channeling Tobey Maguire, freaked me out as a hateful, poker-playing celeb. - MOLLY’S GAME

Ok, people will be talking about the biplane scene forever, but nothing made me laugh more than Tiffany Haddish’s reading of this line:  “Girl, you can't get no infection in your booty hole! It's a booty hole!” - GIRLS TRIP

Bridget Everett, in a blazingly intense performance, sings the shit out of Lita Ford’s KISS ME DEADLY in a dive bar and transforms herself from comedienne to serious dramatic actor. - PATTI CAKE$

A crazed woman (Aubrey Plaza) barges in on the wedding of a social media friend and maces her for not getting on the invite list, giving the Facebook effect its full and insane due. - INGRID GOES WEST

A young woman, unable to take one more second of her overbearing, judgmental mother (Laurie Metcalf), surprisingly jumps out of a moving car. - LADY BIRD

Charlize Theron kicks one ass after another in a seemingly single shot (but not really), making this one of the greatest fight sequences ever filmed. - ATOMIC BLONDE

Algee Smith finds the heart of the story as a musician who struggles with his ambitions after a harrowing all-night encounter with racists cops. - DETROIT

Say what you will about the insanity that unspools, but Michelle Pfeiffer as the houseguest from hell was fun to watch and sorely missed when not onscreen. - MOTHER!

As Elton John’s ROCKET MAN plays on the radio, Bille Jean King (Emma Stone) and her new girlfriend Marilyn (Andrea Riseborough) drive in sun-dappled glory, their hair blowing around with each surprising gust of wind.  It’s a perfect evocation of the 70s. - BATTLE OF THE SEXES

After following around an imaginative, enterprising man (Michael Keaton as Ray Kroc) as he develops the most successful fast food chain in the world, and seeing his as a hero, he transforms into a terrible villain about halfway through, making us question the value of the American Dream. - THE FOUNDER

A suicidal Spud, his head covered in suffocating plastic, leans back in his chair and falls backwards off the top of a building, but a flash cut send him to the floor of his apartment where Renton (Ewan McGregor) slides under him to catch him.  One of the most imaginative, emotional cuts in a film I’ve seen this year. - T2 TRAINSPOTTING

Don’t heckle Kumail Nanjiani!  Holly Hunter WILL read you to filth by interjecting, “That is like saying that all frat boys wearing country club hats and Hawaiian shirts have shriveled up  tiny little dicks!” - THE BIG SICK

A young man throws himself down in the sand as bombs explode closer and closer to him. A spectacular feat of cinematography and muffled sound, and one of the greatest shots in cinema history. - DUNKIRK

A mother kicks the chair her little daughter sits in, sending her flying.  A sudden, impactful depiction of abuse. - I, TONYA

Tom Cruise emerges from a crashed plane, his face hilariously covered in cocaine. - AMERICAN MADE

A seemingly sweet young man (Barry Keoghan, my favorite new actor of the year) changes his entire demeanor and quickly, chillingly tells a doctor (Colin Farrell), in no uncertain terms, what is going to happen to him and his family. - THE KILLING OF A SACRED DEER

The best opening sequence award of the year easily goes to a film which mixed musical filmmaking with kinetic car chases and an endearing sense of rhythm. - BABY DRIVER

Eels creepily slither around a woman in a tub in an otherwise completely forgettable, indulgent film - A CURE FOR WELLNESS

Adam Sandler winningly loses his shit as he searches for a parking space. - THE MEYEROWITZ STORIES - NEW AND SELECTED

“See!  I took you on a safari!” exclaims Brooklyn Prince to her friend as they stand in front of a herd of cattle. - THE FLORIDA PROJECT

An ape, bigger than ever portrayed before, emerges out of nowhere and swats down helicopters like flies as the camera gloriously swirls around him.  It’s APOCALYPSE NOW’s famous attack scene, but this time the invaded kick the invaders’ asses. - KONG: SKULL ISLAND

A messy trainwreck of a person (Anne Hathaway) lugs a mattress around town and literally confronts her inner demons. - COLOSSAL

A major character unexpectedly spits up blood on another, in a shocking moment (and there are a few in this film) I’ll remember for a long time. - THREE BILLBOARDS OUTSIDE EBBING, MISSOURI

French ACT-UP AIDS activists throw blood all over the offices of a pharmaceutical company, and heroically help change the speed at which drugs were approved for a population in desperate need of good news. - BPM

Despite being a thrilling adventure film, the quiet moments, such as the wonderful final shot of a woman walking out of a room and into the jungle, made this stirring yarn into something more internal and thoughtful. - THE LOST CITY OF Z

By this time, we’ve seen too many cars racing around, so instead we focus on the pleasure of seeing a dreadlocked Charlize Theron deliciously chewing the scenery from the evil lair of her jet, sending her into Faye Dunaway territory. - THE FATE OF THE FURIOUS

The unexpected death of a major star, as a gelatinous, alien creature slides down his throat, destroying him from the inside out in zero gravity, may feel straight out of the ALIEN textbook, but it’s memorable nonetheless. - LIFE

I’m usually not a sucker for Disney movie songs, but I have not been able to get EVERMORE out of my head ever since I saw the film, and I mean that in a really good way. - BEAUTY AND THE BEAST

Same goes for Elvis Costello’s fantastic contribution with YOU SHOULDN’T LOOK AT ME THAT WAY, from a beautiful but not-great movie. - FILM STARS DON’T DIE IN LIVERPOOL

Instead of the chestburster, we get the backbreaker, and instead of John Hurt, we get a character we don’t care about…but it STILL manages to be freaky and cool in an otherwise execrable film. - ALIEN: COVENANT

Can we please distribute LICK MY ASS, DIANE t-shirts to every person on earth, or at least make it THE trending hashtag of the year?!! - I, TONYA

Gal Godot donning the titular, classic costume for the first time in the film, charges through the emotional No Man’s Land sequence and into our hearts. - WONDER WOMAN

A seemingly liberal father over-explains his love for Obama to his daughter’s new black boyfriend (Daniel Kaluuya), who makes the Dad feel ok about his issues with race.  It keenly pinpoints the struggle people of color have trying to make white people more comfortable about their discomfort. - GET OUT

Willem Dafoe’s Manager expertly takes charge of a potential child molester, demonstrating his heartwarming, soulful protection of the lovable but annoying little brats who live in his motel. - THE FLORIDA PROJECT

The camera whooshes from ground level to an overhead shot as a determined skater prepares for an important routine. - I, TONYA

Yes, the movie is an unholy mess, but Hong Chau’s “I go to Norway” speech is just a little masterpiece. - DOWNSIZING

Feet moving on red splotches of sand as they battle with their light sabers. - STAR WARS: THE LAST JEDI

A return to the iPhone footage he used in TANGERINE pays off perfectly in the final sequence, a rush of imagination, and a surprising and unforgettable place to take your little survivor of a main character, even if it’s potentially just a fantasy.  It doesn’t change the fact that a neglected but loved little girl wants a little escape. - THE FLORIDA PROJECT

[handsomepeacock]

Since a FNAF song just came on and once again reminded my of my FNAF au I can tell you guys how it is roughly supposed to go down

Holy shit, this is under a read more because I didn’t know it would get this long

John starts up a business and it is insanely successful and lively, people love how the place almost seems magical.

He has a daughter named Angel and she grows up experiencing the magic of the place and has always wanted to perform on stage.

John inspires a young kid by the name of Rhys to want to grow up and be like him.

Angel gets sick and there is no cure for it.

John commissions Shade and Nakayama to make him two animatronics. One based off of his daughter and one based off of himself.

Angel dies and John does not handle her death well, in fact he tries to put her body in the animatronic in hopes her spirit will stick with it. He doesn’t know if it works or not and shuts himself away.

John spots someone that looks like his daughter and he once again thinks that maybe he can trap the spirit in the bot and kills the look-a-like and stuffs the body in the animatronic but doesn’t move it, thinking that maybe it will take time.

Tim happens to swing by his house having known the owner for a long time and sees a gruesome scene, he gets knocked out by John and now he thinks he killed Tim but then gets the idea to put him in the animatronic that was made for him.

He makes Tim’s body fit in the animatronic by cutting it up and at one point the other wakes up to him cutting away and he screams but and struggles but John stabs him a bunch to kill him, tells him he is sorry but continues what he was doing. Telling the corpse he’ll feel better when he’s in a new body, one that won’t get sick and you can’t stab to death.

He thinks he is doing the right thing, he can preserve his friend’s lives if he puts them all in their own animatronic bodies.

He commissions Shade and Nakayama to make more another one for himself, Nisha, Moxxi, and Wilhelm 

He takes Wilhelm by surprise, he wouldn’t have been able to take the man if he knew what was coming.

Moxxi manages to break his arm but John manages to kill her. She is forced to leave behind her two children, Scooter and Ellie, they’re told that their mother ran off.

Nisha knows what is coming and she takes it with a grin on her face and a bloody fight where she leaves a scar on John’s face.

Nakayama has had a growing crush on John and even though he finds out what is going on he says nothing about it. Does nothing accept agree to do what the other wants.

John thinks Angel would like to have friends more her age.

He commissions three more animatronics to be made

He finds people he thinks Angel would like to be friends with

Lilith, Maya, Steele

He calls them a little group of sirens and puts them in a ‘secret’ location so they can perform together whenever they want. Anything for his little girl.

John comes to look at the animatronic that was made for him, it looks good but different from the first one he ever had made for him. This one looks colder, crueler somehow and before he can ask anyone about it Nakayama kills him and puts him in the suit, thinking that this is what he wants but he finds out too late that this isn’t what John wants as he vows he’ll be back to kill him.

Nakayama is able to frame Shade into being the one that committed the murders, saying something about how he was obsessed with making his animatronics more life-like. It somehow works and Shade is taken away. Nakayama uses the funds he gets from their business to buy up the Pizzeria to run it for John.

The old animatronics fall into such disrepair he brings out Wilhelm, Nisha, Moxxi and Tim (he doesn’t know where Angel, Lilith, Maya, or Steele are being kept at)

He puts John in a display case, too terrified to activate him. Renames him Jack

Scooter sees his mom one day in the Pizzeria, finds out she’s an animatronic now and breaks in at night to get her home but now Scooter is breaking the rules and she grips him tight, to take him to the back where the rule breakers go to be reprogrammed and placed in a suit. He begs her to stop and that she’s hurting him. Suddenly she stops and stares down at him, this is her son, she was about to kill him. Moxxi lets go of Scooter and tells him in a soft voice he has to leave.

Nisha happens to spot the action and comes out to confront Moxxi about it. They fight while Scooter slips away.

The Pizzeria is no longer a magical place, there is always a feeling of dread and it doesn’t get taken care of. Eventually Nakayama activates Jack to see if he is still angry at him. The man gets killed instantly as Jack crushes his throat and throws him down the stairs.

The place gets bought by a group of investors that are hoping they can make it back to how it used to be because of how much money they place had made. They use the parts from the old animatronics to make friendlier versions of them. Jack is left alone because of the craftsmanship that went into making him, they keep him on display.

Roland is now older and gets a job hoping to get every bit of information he can out of the place about his friends disappearance.

Jack absolutely hates what his business has turned into and his anger causes his spirit to reach out and mess with the “toy” animatronics so they start malfunctioning, it eventually leads to someone getting bitten and the place gets shutdown and moved back to the original location, the old animatronics put back in use. Jack is happier now and doesn’t act up again.

Roland moves with the business and gets further in his investigation, leaving his findings in the vent in his security office, recording things he has found and putting the tapes with his findings. Eventually he is lead to the Jack animatronic, he has never once seen the thing move but something is off about it and he starts poking around it, the other animatronics starts going off, he can hear their voice lines playing all around him and he thinks it is time to go, he isn’t wrong but he accidentally switches on Jack.

He runs off to see if he can get out but the exits are blocked and the only place he can go is the security office and lock the doors. He’s doomed, he knows it. He makes one final recording while he is listening to the animatronics bang on the doors. The last thing he hears as they slowly slide open is the ominous playing of a music box. The message cuts out and the recorder is dropped on the ground and kicked to the far corner, hidden from view.

No one knows what happened to the last security guard but they can’t afford to hire a new one the only thing left to do would be to close to doors one final time.

Rhys comes back with Vaughn and buys the place, still remembering how it used to be and wants it that way again. Vaughn is skeptical about this idea but told Rhys he would back him up on what he wanted to do and so they purchase the business. There’s a lot of work to do to restore it to its former glory.

Rhys stares at the Jack animatronic one day and notes how real it looks and is just waiting for it to move. Vaughn comes in and scares the crap out of him (mostly on accident). After they both leave the eyes on the Jack animatronic move and watches them go.

Vaughn takes the car to get it checked, lucky for him there is a place right across the street from the business they just bought. Scooter is working on the vehicle and tells him how he should just burn the building and everything inside it down. It is evil. He started his business across the street to keep watch over the place and make sure the evil doesn’t leave the building.

Vaughn is now thoroughly spooked by the place and tells Rhys that he is gonna go home before it gets dark.

Rhys is in the security office to grab all the papers in there because he needs to go through everything and file it away, he finds the hidden stack and recordings in the vent and starts going through them, listening to everything Roland had to say. Everything is neatly labeled.

He gets drawn in by everything and he finds himself back by the display where the Jack animatronic is while Roland’s ‘final’ recording plays and he says he is going to be checking it out for any more clues. Rhys turns on the animatronic. All hell breaks loose.

Much like Roland he ends up back in the security office locked away inside, he is backed up to a corner where he happens to find another tape, unmarked but he plays it anyway because he needs to hear. While he listens to the banging on the doors outside the office and in the recording he realizes he might just die here. He can hear the music, it is terrifying. But then he hears a softer sound playing, it is coming from the vents and since he’s never been very bulky he could fit in there. He didn’t want to die like Roland did so he starts climbing through it. The animatronics burst in at that moment and try to reach him before he can leave. They only get his shoe.

Vaughn having not been able to sleep and realizing the time goes back to he Pizzeria to make Rhys leave because he noticed he wasn’t home yet.

He enters the place and it is dark, the power is out and he only has a flashlight. He doesn’t know what is happening. Suddenly he is grabbed by the Moxxi animatronic and she is draggin him again when she stops. She is fighting Jack’s control, she always has, it is easier when she thinks she has a kid in her grip. She lets go of Vaughn and the shorter man runs for it but instead of leaving he goes to look for his friend.

Scooter noticing the commotion grabs his gun and goes into the building across the street, he was preparing to fight these robotic sunova bitches since he was a child.

Vaughn sneaking around, looking for Rhys. Scooter is looking for both of them. Rhys finds himself in a secret room that leads to where the sirens are being kept. He goes there because he is following the music.

Moxxi is acting up against the others, fighting with one of them again, Tim refuses to do anything, he doesn’t want to kill anyone he doesn’t want to fight against his friends.

Jack is pissed about all these people breaking the rules and he is hunting them down. He comes across Vaugn and he isn’t going to let him get away, he gets him with his claws and lifts him by his neck. He’s about to kill him when he gets shot by Scooter. He drops Vaughn and the smaller man makes his way to Scooter, holding his bleeding side.

Before another shot can get off into Jack another animatronic comes in to get them. Scooter knows when to back off and he helps Vaughn out. The mechanic has been wanting to burn the building down for years and he starts to go about it from the outside. Vaughn is too busy trying not to bleed out to stop him.

Rhys talks to Angel and she simple tells him to deactivate them and tear them apart and destroy the facility, it is the only way to set them free, to end whatever curse has fallen on the place caused by her father. He obliges and barely escapes the building.

The last thing the three survivors see is a fiery figure charging at them but before it can kill them it collapses, it was the Jack animatronic’s endoskeleton.

[jonhaight-blog]

Emo Dump

So I’ve finally gotten to this point have I? I’m not the first person to experience heartbreak and I don’t believe I’ve got it worse than anyone. Truth be told my life is pretty fucking great, I got a new job in my field that pays well, getting a new house, new car, promising career and I’m fairly attractive as well as started getting back into my hobby of MMA again. SO all in all, my life would seem like nothing to complain about right? 

Am I insane to harp on one single aspect of dread though? Like, I chose to break up so I shouldn’t complain. Is it one of those, ‘Don’t know what you have until it’s gone’ moments? Because nothing has changed since we broke up, like she barely talked to me and made an effort to reach out to me when we were together and the only difference now is that I don’t reach out to her so I should be happy that I don’t have the stress of feeling like I’m in a relationship while also not actually being in one right? 

Truth is, all I wanted was her to talk to me. Everyone I know sees me as this guy with the plan and they come to me with advice on what they should do and how to do it. A lot of my friends come to me because they need me at some point. One person (this girl) didn’t necessarily need me. More so, I wanted her to need me at least a little because I needed her, I needed to be around her and I need to talk to her. I wanted her to think I was special, like there was more to me than anyone else but she never showed me that I was any different from any of our other friends. I’ve worked since I was 14 to prove I was different than everyone, not to prove to a specific person, but to just anyone I met professionally and personally. A lot of people noticed, and I never cared about their opinions. I’ve always been young for my status in the professional world and I’m not bragging, I’m just giving you details on me and my history and how I operate. There have been some that are in the same position as me and my age if not younger, I’m not saying I’m like the only person in the world to do this kinda thing but still, you get where I’m coming from when I say I’ve only worked to prove to myself that I can be better. 

So, fast forward to today and why that’s relevant. This girl comes along during college and at the time I was this ‘playboy’ type dude, kinda douchey. Now this wouldn’t be my first rodeo kids, but this time it wasn’t in person. I met her online and I didn’t really believe in people getting together online personally, just not my thing at the time. So we become friends, we play some games and yada-yada end up in a call alone and talk for like 7 hours and BAM sparks ensue. Now, I’m a real ambitious person and when I want something I will try and make it happen. I wanna meet her. 

4 months go by and I realize I wanna move to Atlanta (that’s where my work is and it was close to said female). So I’ve never felt stronger about a person and I didn’t want to admit it, but I would’ve killed a bear to see this girl in person. We plan this trip to go visit the area I’m gonna live and six flags to go see her and her friends and shit. That trip happens and I shit you not that it couldn’t have been more of a Disney moment when I saw her. Shit goes in slow mo, The Carpenters starts playing (the song where it’s like, “Why do birds fall down from the sky”) and I was infatuated with her. 

Trip goes well, I move up to Atlanta and romance ensues. The relationship goes well, then we start hitting some road-bumps here and there and we talk it out. I said to myself that I wasn’t gonna fuck this up, I was open and honest and stopped talking to every other girl that had flirted with me and brought her out with my friends and I just loved her so damn much. I always talked about her, to my friends, parents, cousins etc. I really believed that this was gonna go somewhere. 

Then work takes a toll on me. I hated my line of work (Production Assistant stuff on movies is what I used to do btw). I start feeling depressed and it takes a toll on our relationship. I start snapping at her about little shit, stuff she’ll do or if she can’t come over, cuz in all honesty the only time I was happy during that period is when she was with me or playing games with me. So this goes on for a while and I start sabotaging myself and making her feel like shit, and I noticed that, so I said, “no more”

Christmas comes around and I go back home with no more than 12 dollars in my pocket because my old line of work sucked ass for pay and hours. I decide to see a therapist. I told him I think I’m depressed and it’s been on and off through college and worse since I got to Atlanta. I bitched about my job the most and he just kind of told me, “sounds like your job sucks and you hate it” I tried to tell him it’s more of the end goal that I want, but I didn’t even know what the end goal would’ve been at the time because I wanted to edit. He said, “Well I don’t think you need medication, I think you just need to stop doing shit you don’t like” and that just pinged with me for some reason. It was such a stupid simple answer but I needed to hear it for some reason for me to finally get it. I didn’t need to stick it out, i needed to stop doing shit work. So I came up with a plan.

I vented to my parents about how I was feeling and possibly coming back to PA to start up the production company I wanted to do before I left for college. My parents are all for it, say I can do what makes me happy and shit, but something clicked in me and said that I would wait out another 6 months and see how it turns out. After that I called my girlfriend at the time and told her why I was acting how I was and that I wanted to make things right. I apologized and told her how much I loved her and that it wasn’t ever her fault and she did nothing but treat me right. Then, she started retracting from me...

She started to pull away form me, as in she got more distant and I started to confront her about it. She told me she just needs space and that she would have made other plans with people and work etc. I started getting irritated that it seems she would put other plans over me at every corner, it didn’t matter when I would ask her to do things, something always came up. I’m not talking about just meeting in person or her coming over I meant like, talking on discord or playing games. 

Fast forward to January, I get back to Atlanta. A sweet job offer comes my way and I take it, it’s another PA gig but an office PA gig so that means it’s more towards what I want to do (Which is editing). It’s higher pay, and I’m in the same building as the companies editors so I start talking to them. All is going well and the job kept me busy so I couldn’t see her for like 2 weeks because of it but it was fine cuz she wanted space anyway and all that. I tried to talk to her after work, but she would usually be doing something where she didn’t respond or responded 4 hours later -v- . . . . . but whatever. 

2 months go by, I still work for this company now and then, making some bucks on the side. I’ve barely seen her by this time and I keep asking her to talk to me or come over and shit would come up. We did talk now and then but when we did, she didn’t have anything to say really and that was fine. When it got to the point where we would exchange 3 messages in the span of 3 days is when it got to me and I would start bringing it up and she would shut me down because she just never wanted to talk about it. One of the fights I asked her if she would be fine with going back to an online relationship and she said no but she would be okay if we didn’t see each other for a couple of months (like actually see with our eyes, not like break up for a while) and that broke my heart. 

More fights about the same topic come up, more and more she backs off even telling me she would be fine if we didn’t ever kiss. Says it makes her uncomfortable (dating for 10 months at this point). I almost lost it then, I had to stew on that for a while. I eventually say that I would try and just give her that space and all that, back off I guess. 

We hang out the next weekend and it’s all fine and everything but now, I don’t know what I should do and not do. I don’t know if I’m allowed to hold her, kiss her or cuddle and what not but she told me to cuddle her so everything seemed okay and normal but there was always this thought in the back of my head that one wrong move and she would just back away from me more. But I got an offer for an editing position full time when we were together so that brightened my mood and made me forget about that for a while.

Another 2 weeks rolls by and we don’t see each other again and barely talk again. I get the job and it’s great. I love my position and it gives me room to grow and move up in the company. With her, I lose my shit, I try and talk to her one last time about my issue and yet again she just brushes it aside and disregards it saying how she doesn’t wanna talk about it and how it’s not an issue. Like, it’s an issue to me so can you please fucking address it if I’m so important to you? I was fed up. It didn’t seem like she was trying anymore and it felt like she didn’t want to be in the relationship, plus I was tired of fighting so I ended it then and there over Discord chat because she wouldn’t call me or anything like that to actually talk. It made it worse because her cat died a week before that and she was all torn up about it so it just made everything seem worse and like I was just the worlds biggest piece of shit. 

I had to do this at work, and i didn’t even want to do it but I felt like I was stuck between a rock and a hard place at this point. Right after I did it, I ran to the bathroom and just cried. I had to break up with the first girl I ever fell in love with and I felt like I did everything right. To pile on, I tried to analyze what I did wrong and where I fucked up. I wondered if I had already ruined it before Christmas and there was already no saving it, which could be very likely. I hate myself because I still feel this way. 

She never fought to get me back. Not once did she try and stop me or tell me I was making a mistake or even try to address the same issue and have a real conversation about it to try and fix the relationship. She just let me go. I even tried to go back to her, saying I would work on it and accept the blame that I just wanted her to be around and then she rejected me. So I broke up with the one I love because I felt like I had no other option, got no resistance and then got rejected. 

I can’t sleep anymore. I keep trying to distract myself with more work and working out but it doesn’t help. That’s the whole reason I started fighting again was because of all this. All I wanted was more time with her, and I still feel like I did something wrong. All I wanted was for her to see me as I see her. Different than everyone else, that one person that can make me feel a certain way just by looking at me. I guess I wasn’t that person for her, idk. 

That’s the end of my story. It got so bad that I got up at 4am and needed someone to talk to about this because I’ve talked all my friends ears off about this issue and I think they’re pretty done with hearing about it. Thanks for reading if you got this far, I’m new to the whole blog thing. The girl isn’t a bad person, and she isn’t neglectful. Truth be told she’s the sweetest most kind person I’ve ever met, and I just miss her. . . .

That’s it. Bye.