#break tme

[remix-of-your-guts]

i feel like y'all took "respecting our gender" as trans men too far when you started disrespecting our lived experiences of misogyny, lesbophobia, transphobia, antimasculism, etc. (or we could just call it transandrophobia but clearly no one's ready for that yet)

[stonebutchery]

transmisogyny-exempt trans people are fabricating scenarios in the "transandrophobia" tag and across social media platforms as if churning out reactionary propaganda campaigns against transfems is their fucking job.

i'm sorry that transfems talking to each other in some micro trans community discord servers about the structural reality of transmisogyny and sharing memes about transfemininity apparently makes you feel so insecure about yourself but you are drowning in conspiracy theory sewage water right now and you need to wake up because nothing that you're saying has any basis in truth and it is threatening the safety of our trans sisters in the real world for you to carry on thinking like this.

you are part of the problem. "there's so much infighting in the trans community" and you are the one making it happen. you are the one literally manufacturing a term—in direct reaction to transmisogyny-affected people explaining the dynamics of privilege and power that they are affected by—for something that not only is not an example of structural oppression ("androphobia" and "misandry") but does not exist in reality. you know, because we live under patriarchy. please get a grip.

[villanevehaus]

i have opened the document

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

Sounds like you've got a right bitch of a co-worker based on those post tags lol

ajfksdljf TT0TT Oh that was like my 3rd version of a post I made. I had to talk myself down and censor myself akljsdflkfa orz

But yes he really is. I cannot stress it enough that everyone hates his guts and he's created such a hostile work environment.

[thee-radio-host-is-a-kookaburra]

“tme” and “tma“ are stupid fucking labels and i’m not sorry

[momett]

learning online trans (recent) history shore is a trip. i have a headache now. x_x

[thebigqueer]

Your breakup really really reminds me of my first (and only) wlw relationship/breakup everything you're saying hits home a lot. You will get through it but tbh it's so hard to heal and it still grinds my gears when I think about her and how we broke up. Idk if that helps but I understand what you're going though

YEAH MAN ITS TOUGH OUT HERE FR!!! its not my first queer relationship but like something about this is genuilnely the most world-shattering romantic experience ive had cuz we went into this soooo head over heels for each other like we were literally moving SO fast. and at the time i was like is it ok for us to even be moving this fast (probs tmi but we were literally making out shirtless by like 2nd time we even made out) (probs not a big deal to most people but i experienced a LOT of new things with her that id never experienced befoer & the fact that i was so WILLING to do it so fast was what surprised me the most) but then i was like okk whateverrr i really like how fast we're moving. and i was like 'damn if were moving this fast & if im feeling so good it has to end soon right like theres no way life is going to let me just be happy w this' and then i was like 'no elts not think about it' and then what do you know 5 months later she brekas up w me. and neither of us did anything wrong but it was so random??? like i dont understand how one moment shes telling me how excited she is to spend the entire semester with me and then literally 36 hours later tell me shes not feeling an emotional connection but wont even give us the chance to work it out. i know she also broke it off for personal reasons but its like... this was something we could have TRIED to work out you know!!! maybe it wouldnt have worked in the end but literally nothing felt off to me at all & if id known she was feeling this way i wouldve done my best to make things better. the entire breakup was so sudden and honestly im really not mad at her because i know how nerve-wracking it is to be in your first relationship. i think its just that im really dispapointed she gave up on us so easily you know??? didnt even give us a chance to figure it out

[nach-tai]

I now see why people render in Blender.

[gizdathemxel]

*gripping my hands so hard on a young trans persons shoulders that their bones are about to break*

do not log on to 4chan.com. do not get involved in passing olympics. you will always lose. do not put afab/amab/tma/tme in your bio, that is cisgender society trying to know your “real” gender. you do not exist to please cisgender people. there is no ‘right’ way to be trans. learn your goddamn history, listen to your elders. listen to other disenfranchised groups. listen to intersex people and check yourself for intersexism. listen to trans poc and check yourself for racism. listen to disabled people and check yourself for ableism. be open to learning always. labels are meant to fit you, not the other way around. you are not weird or predatory for simply being attracted to others. you’re fine if you’re not a skinny white twink or a barbie doll. you’re fine if your body is ‘weird’. you’re fine if you don’t have heavy or any dysphoria. it’s okay if you actually don’t want to transition or anything like that. life is worth living at any stage, you deserve to be happy. I SWEAR THAT YOU ARE OKAY!!!!!

[marxism-transgenderism]

This will get me crucified but the most annoying thing to me in the world is the amount of (usually tme) lesbians who are like "butch and femme are entirely different from how men and straight women do masculinity and femininity !!!!! There is no overlap because they way we do it is super speshial" and it's like. I get what you mean about subversion but I'm sorry to break it to you but I've met a lot of butches who's entire conception of masculinity is just as plain, boring, and sexy as some of the more jock straight dudes I've ever met and I have met plenty of straight women who wear funky clothes and do makeup their own way and don't shave their legs and who have just as complicated a relationship with their womanhood as you do. I love the way yall are doing gender, it's great, but please stop trying to like section off your experience as this super duper unique thing that no other sexuality could ever understand. I promise you they can and many do understand, and that is in fact a beautiful thing. Rejoice in the overlap of human experience

[txttletale]

roadhogsbigbelly is doubling down. genuinely incredible (yes i am aware how deeply funny it is to start a serious post with that sentence. it is my one allotment of levity)

oh okay you just assumed that "loliporn" was involved and something that i deserved to be associated with defending and accused of making "integral to the queer identity" because of stuff that the OP (who i cannot stress enough i never followed or talked to or knew in any fucking way!) did that got called out months after i made my addition?

the rest of his post is just a very lengthy way of saying "umm if you didn't want to be called a pedophile because you were mean about stardew valley maybe you should be more careful about how you reblog from". yeah buddy im sure you apply that standard to yourself too huh. im sure you pull out your Bad Person detector every time you reblog a fucking post and beam OP with it. you literally screenshot my post about how as a trans women i get this standard uniquely applied to me and went "um its a good standard though. answer for the actions of every fucking person youve ever reblogged a post by".

and all this whole fucking schtick where he's like "ummmm im not calling you a pedophile :) i just assumed you thought 'loliporn was integral to the queer identity' based on source: i made it up and am going out of my way to repeatedly say you're agreeing with pedophiles and not being wary enough about pedophiles and that 99% of people who make the type of post im accusing you of making are pedophiles" is so fucking pathetic and if you fall for it you are a blatant transmisogynist like come the fuck on man.

i am no longer having a nice time on the computer, i am pretty fucking angry. and all this because he "doesnt have much skin in the game" but he doesn't like my stardew valley takes! yeah man real proportionate response.

not to mention the aside he makes to say 'wah wah someone told me to kill myself' amiguito do you have any fucking idea what my inbox has looked like since this entire transmisogynistic harassment campaign began a week ago? i delete those asks because i'm not into flaunting every piece of online abuse i get to make myself look like the victim in computer arguments but it has been constant and graphic! breaking news, women are people too, some of the most cutting-edge research suggests they might even have feelings!

"oh i censored her identity i dont know how she even found it" oh okay so you were anonymously pedojacketing me to your thousands of followers while vaguing about a post i made that had thousands of notes and using the same screenshot that an uncensored version of was passed around with thousands of notes as part of a transmisogynistic harassment campaign last fucking week?

how could anyone possibly have guessed it was me! it's a real mystery man it was basically witness protection. "oh but i didn't know, i didn't know she was trans", maybe he'll also say he didn't know about the harassment campaign, hey fucker, maybe apply some of the constant scrutiny you're reserving for women who are mean about farming game and apply it to yourself and consider looking into these things before baselessly making pedo accusations against someone!

this transmisogynistic crybully shit is absolutely fucking insufferable and i am absolutely sick of it and anyone who buys into it. i'm done assuming good faith or ignorance. i am not going to be a good placid little bullying target and acquiesce to this vile shit. it's truly fucking incredible that a tme guy can be found out as an actual pedophile and guys like mr. belly can immediately jump into action to use this as an opportunity to denounce a trans woman who had one interaction with him ever that consisted of five minutes spent typing an addition to a post and hitting ''reblog''. & if you don't find that sickening then straight up you are not safe for trans women to be around.

[doberbutts]

people like that anon you were getting the other day will claim so many trans men talk over trans women but whenever trans women agree with you they harass us and say we're crypto-TERF pickmes who don't count like, I truly cannot emphasize enough at how transmisogynistically I've been treated by transfems and self-identified TMEs both for takes like "trans men are oppressed too", "it's bad to call other trans people slurs", and even "my non-transfem friends love me"

Yeah I can't say I've been more baffled by tumblr understanding of political discourse than being called a transmisogynist for the take of "if non-transfems don't like transmisogyny then maybe we should work together with trans fems to fix the problem at its root and use whatever privileges we have to make it happen". Like I didn't think that was such a controversial and offensive statement and yet.

Then I watch folks like you or my trans fem friends and followers and mutuals get absolute garbage harassment over similarly benign statements such as "trans men are oppressed" and "let's work together for a brighter future" and I come to the realization that this isn't about community building or actionable theory to improve the state of being. It's just about scoring debate points and attempting to run people off social media.

Sorry, but, I would like life to actually like. Get better. For you. For me. Even for the anons I get frustrated about or end up blocking. I'm the kumbaya guy, remember. I'd like one day for us to be able to break bread at the same table not as enemies negotiating a peace, but as friends and family in fellowship and community with each other.

[themoonking]

elaborating on a post from last night.

back when the good omens show first came out, i saw this fandom quickly dismiss concerns transfems had about the transmisogynistic tropes present in the show, the book, and gaiman's other work. i saw this fandom praise a depiction of a man disguising himself as a woman with the sole intention of gaining access to a child and influencing them into evil as a bold, positive representation of gender nonconformity. unfortunately i, being very young at the time and not as familiar with transphobia as it applied to trans women as i was with how it applied to myself (a tme enby), was part of this dismissal. i, like many other good omens fans, participated in brushing aside trans women's valid concerns in favor of supporting neil gaiman's bullshit. but i have since left the fandom, learned, and realized how fucked up it was.

so it's honestly sickening to see this same fandom now use defense of and support for trans women as a shield to excuse neil gaiman's bullshit once again. i believe that tortoise media had motives for wanting to break the story that had more to do with gaiman's milquetoast support for trans rights than they did concern for his victims, but i also believe the victims. i wish scarlett and k had come forward about their abuse with literally any other outlet, and it's entirely possible that one or both of them have bigoted beliefs about trans people themselves, but i'm not going to dismiss what they went through just because they aren't perfect victims or perfect people.

it's without question that gaiman had sexual relationships with both of these women, both being in their early 20s while he was in his 40s and 60s, one being a fan he met when she was a teenager and the other being his employee, respectively. that alone should make you want to distance yourself from him and his work. it also seriously makes me doubt his innocence that his own defense of himself is that k is just still so upset about the way their relationship ended that she's making sa allegations to get back at him almost two decades later and that scarlett is literally delusional and has created false memories of assault due to a medical condition that she does not fucking have.

we have seen time and time again that victims get absolutely no reward for coming forward about abuse, especially so when their abuser is a wealthy public figure. the idea that women are incentivized to create false allegations is a straight up lie and i had thought, after you all were fooled by depp and his pr team not too long ago, that we had all moved past believing it, but i guess fucking not.

[residentrioters]

Found our old mashup of THA, TME, and TSE. Its just the three of them overlapping, COMPLETELY cacophonous

Soul, starting off the clearest, ends up COMPLETELY drowned out as you approach the halfway mark

And then hes just. Gone. Beneath the cacophony of the Electric and the Acoustic.

And then he comes back, louder! But just as easily begins to get drowned out again. But all three get louder. And then, beneath it, you hear "SOMEONE HELP ME"

And, once again, you can't clearly hear him anymore, but if you listen closely. Hes breaking.

And then the other songs end. And gradually, it ends up just Soul. Alone. Singing.

Tri~dential Re~gicide.. I won't hesitate to kill my Heart and Mind. I will abdicate these deviants sat inside. I'll take you down~ in tandem when this rope is tied.

...It's haunting.

And I think, for the mess that it is. It's the rawest way to truly feel what Soul does during the Cacophony.

....anyway should I post the audio file

Update: file has been posted in reblogs

[nothorses]

I think there's a Thing where any transphobia known to be against a transfem gets called "transmisogyny", which is fine I guess, but idk I feel like transmisogyny is supposed to be the word for the Specific Type of oppression that trans women face, not "transphobia that in this case is against a trans women". Does that make sense? Like if somebody misgenders a trans woman and that's it, that isn't anything more specific than "transphobia", right? Like if somebody were to call me a faggot, I wouldn't consider That transandrophobia simply because I Am a trans man, I would just think of it as generally anti-queer. Does that make sense, or am I misunderstanding the terms transmisogyny, transandrophobia, etc?

No I think you're right, and tbh I think it's a manifestation (and a really good example) of the "identity = oppression" framework a lot of folks are operating under in these conversations.

It's not something anyone really says out loud, but I've noticed it as a pattern in certain circles; mostly a lot of primarily young, online queer circles.

It's the same framework that, imo, spawned "Transmisogyny Exempt/Transmisogyny Affected" (or "TME/TMA") in which one's identity is directly equivalent to the oppression they experience.

The logic goes: If you identify as X, you experience anti-X oppression. If your identity is not X, you do not, and cannot, experience anti-X oppression.

This is also where we get, like, "misdirected misogyny" as a concept: the logic is that trans men* do not identify as women, therefore they cannot experience oppression meant for women.

Or "slur discourse": if you do not identify as X, you do not experience anti-X oppression, you have never been called this anti-X slur, and therefore you cannot reclaim this anti-X slur.

A lot of other gatekeeping arguments follow similar logic, as do a lot of arguments against acknowledging "transandrophobia" (or anti-transmasc bigotry as a specific concept). Personal identity is understood to be directly equivalent to experiences with oppression, and trans men's identities are thus broken down into their two parts, and assigned corresponding experiences:

Trans experiences

Man experiences

Even understanding "trans man" to be a third identity, with additional, unique "trans man experiences", creates a lot of friction within this framework: a lot of the unique "trans man experiences" we talk about arise from interactions between transphobia and misogyny. But misogyny must be woman-only; our experiences with misogyny are considered incidental, or "misdirected".

If we consider identity to be directly equivalent to oppression, then what, exactly, could these unique "trans man experiences" be?

In this framework, they can only ever be the combination of "trans experiences" and "man experiences"; and "man experiences" cannot contain any unique "man oppression" (unless all men are oppressed just for being men), so "trans man experiences" can only ever be "trans experiences".

When people say "transmisogyny" to refer to any and all oppression that impacts trans women, it's because they understand identity and oppression to be one and the same. Trans women's experiences with oppression cannot be understood as complex & nuanced interactions between different systems of oppression- they are always considered transmisogyny, because the person experiencing them is a trans women, and the oppression of trans women is called "transmisogyny".

It's a reductive and honestly immature understanding of how identity and oppression interact with and relate to one another, but I find it really helpful to understand it when breaking down the flaws in arguments like these ones.

*Some trans men (as well as other transmasculine people) can and do identify as women, and this logic is often applied to transmasculine people as a whole, which erases those folks as well. I'm just not sure what the most accurate term to use here is, honestly.

[0w0tsuki]

Trans Women: *Notices trends in their community, builds on them, and uses them to make a culture that is gender euphoric and a safe space for baby transfems just discovering themselves*

TME's after failing to shame them out of celebrating themselves by deriding their culture as "boring binary normies transfem memes": "OMG this is so boyfagboygenderboydykeboy GNC coded! It's ok for cis femboys to use this for themselves right? No? Fucking Valor Hog you know that you two are basically the same right? What? You say I'm misgendering you by saying you're no different than a feminine man? Oh come on you know they're doing better than you by breaking male gender norms while your enforcing the patriarchy by resigning yourself to the feminine boundaries of your gender right?

Fine whatever. How about this? Can it be trans thing? Universal trans thing that open to all the community and puts you out of the focus? Solidarity Queen? Can we make your positivity posts for anyone? What do you mean "Can't we have anything for ourselves"? Now your just being greedy, selfish, and kinda a separatist if you ask me.

Ok what about this? A tmasc version? No it's not stealing we just happened to make a completely separate version of it except it's identical but centers boys instead? You know? A version for boys? Boys queen? Solidarity?......."make your own culture"? WE DID!! God can't we have anything?"