#brain takes in information sure but then it throws that shit right back out

[vulpinesaint]

was scrolling on tumblr for a minute and went "hm! i should turn on some music!" and moved my mouse over to the spotify icon only to sit staring at the screen for a few seconds as i realized that there was music already actively playing in my ear.

[queenpiranhadon]

"The fuck are you doin' up so late, hah?"

"I could say the same to you, Ryo."

The pink haired man in your college dorm rolls his eyes. "I had football practice. You know that. What's your excuse?"

You shrug. "Homework."

He squints at you in annoyance, kicking off his shoes without much care as to where they went, much to your protest. "Didn't you take like a billion AP courses back in high school? Why're you so busy?"

You raise an eyebrow at him. "I still got exams to study for." you yawn, tiredly. "What time is it?"

Sukuna sighs. "12:36."

You blink, your sleep deprived mind trying to wrap itself around that information. "They kept you till midnight?!"

He sighs, discarding his jacket and throwing his sweaty shirt onto his desk chair, joining the accumulating pile of laundry you know you'll have to do later. "We're going against Tokyo tomorrow. Said we needed to work our asses off to beat Satoru Gojo."

You raise your eyebrow. You didn't know much about football, but Sukuna forced you to go to enough games that you had the general idea. "The quarterback? They do realize you're only second to him stats-wise, right? It's very possible you'll beat him. The strongest has a lot of weaknesses too."

Sukuna grins, kissing your head before slipping into the shower.

He's not sure when he fell in love with you. You two were on basically on opposite sides of the spectrum that was college social circles. And then one day he saw you in the library, barely sparing a glance at him and brushing past him to leave.

To be honest, he was kinda shocked. Most girls tended to get extremely flustered or excited when they saw him, and you...you basically didn't give a shit.

But Ryomen Sukuna never encountered rejection - even if indirectly.

He wasn't going to start with you.

Eventually, you started to warm up to him, and you saw a different side to the merciless and arrogant heartthrob that walked through the halls of campus with such confidence it was almost palpable.

The next semester, the two of you became roommates.

Now, where there was you, there was Sukuna. The definition of a power couple, you supplied the brains and he the brawn.

Sukuna never really thought he was one for love, but when he steps out of the shower, finding you slumped over your papers, asleep, he seems to fall in love with you all over again.

You were strong.

Maybe not physically, by the determination and fiery look in your eyes he saw everyday was something he always respected, and eventually, something he fell in love with.

Slipping on a shirt and sweats, he stacks your papers to the best of his ability, before carefully lifting your sleeping form gently. "Damn woman, you're gonna be the death of me...falling asleep on me like this..." he mutters, a soft look in his eyes.

He'd rather die than have anyone see him like this, but you? You were an exception.

And as the brings you close and feels the soft lull of sleep beckoning him closer, he realizes you always would be.

A/N: This might be ooc shhhhhh this was just rlly cute I love him hehehe

[prettyboykatsuki]

objects in the mirror | j. togame

✮ tags ; afab!reader + fem!reader, reader is so painfully dense / naive, ambiguous relationships, friends to ???, somewhat unrelieved sexual tension, sex toys, guided masturbation kinda, kissing, groping, nipples play, squirting, dialogue heavy, vaguely post canon, petnames (kame-chan and jo-chan for togame, baby for reader) 18+

✮ wc ; 6.4k (you have got to be fucking with me)

✮ a/n ; the one fic i wont be mad if you ask for part two on lolol. title from a mac miller song (my favorite mac miller song) that reminds me of a lot of characters but i felt really fit this fic.

go listen to it. his best track. also this like... mega got away from me. togame sorry for blueballing you.

✮ synopsis ; your only goal is to have a half-way decent orgasm. togame, as your best friend, is determined to help you reach it.

"So," Togame leans back into your bed. "You bought a vibrator and... can't use it? Because you keep psyching yourself out?"

"Yeah," You sigh with your head hung low. "Paid good money for it and it's collecting dust in my drawer. I'm miserable."

Togame smiles a little from where he's laid across the width of your bed, back propped up against the wall slightly with his legs hanging off one edge. You kick his side lightly as he fails to contain his amusement.

"Do you enjoy seeing me suffer, huh? You take amusement in my pain, you bastard?"

"Pfft," He snickers, turning a little to face you better. "It's kinda hard not too. Just seems..."

"You think it's stupid," You frown. He scratches his jaw.

"I wouldn't say that. A little silly but—"

"Which is another word for stupid," You point out. He shakes his head.

"The connotations different. Stupid would mean I'm insulting you. I don't think it's stupid. Ridiculous, maybe." And then he laughs to himself like a jackass. "No... I take it back. It's definitely ridiculous."

"You asshole. I should kick you out of my house."

He smiles knowingly, lazy and bemused. "You're not gonna,"

Smug bastard. You groan in defeat. "But I should."

He doesn't reply, brushing you off as easy as ever. "Sorry. Just not sure what exactly you want me to do with that information."

You throw your hands up in the air. "I dunno? Fucking help me. Offer solutions. Use whats left of your brain after getting the shit beat out of you as a teenager. Something."

"Now who's being an asshole." He quips. You frown.

"I'm sorry," You say easily. Togame smiles softly though you miss it while you're looking away. "But...ugh."

"Got such a way with words." He hums sarcastically before sobering a touch. He's scrolling through his phone not entirely paying attenion. "I don't really get why you're askin' me. Don't you have better candidates for this conversation?"

You give him a long-suffering look. "No. Unfortunately I live here, so the answer is not really. I can't talk to Kotoha or Tsubaki about this. We talk about guys and stuff but it's usually pretty PG."

"So I'm your stand in for a girl best friend?"

You tilt your head. "Huh? No. You're just my best friend. I would bitch to you about this either way."

He stares at you for a long while before scrubbing a hand down his face. You can't understand his sudden reaction, watching in confusion as he takes a deep breath.

"Right. Right, I'm your best friend." Togame mutters mostly to himself, sighing before going back to his usual demeanor. He rubs his under his eye. "Really dunno what you're asking for. You can whine however much you want, though."

"I'm not whining," You pause before sighing again. "Okay. Maybe I am whining, like, a little. But you would too if you were me, okay? I want to..." You make a face, the words suddenly feeling clumsy on your lips. You're not even doing anything and you're getting all weird about it. "I just wanna...cum."

Togame pauses. He sits up, sort of suddenly after that and finally has the decency to take off his boots. He scoots to the edge of the bed with his feet on the floor to do it, and you can't see his face when he speaks again. You don't think twice about it.

"Have you not? Like... ever?"

"Huh? No, I have but it's not really satisfying. It doesn't scratch the itch for me, you know? That's what the toy was for."

Togame takes another minute or two of silence as he takes off his boots. You wonder if it always takes him so long to take them off. Seems inconvenient.

He goes back to laying down, leaning on the wall with his legs spread out. "What kinda toy is it anyway?

"Oh, it's—" You stop in the middle of your sentence, brow furrowing. "Wait. Should I be telling you this?"

"Are you suddenly gaining self-awareness? Little late for that." He smiles.

"That's true," You reply, relaxing again with your arms crossed. "Nothing complicated. A rabbit vibrator, but the kinda expensive ones."

"How much?"

"Twelve-thousand yen. I got it on sale too,"

"No wonder you're so peeved you can't use it," Togame comments evenly. "A lot of money to be collecting dust. You even take it out the box?"

You deflate all over again. "Yeah. Charged it. Cleaned it too. But I put it back."

"Lemme see,"

"Huh? Oh, okay. Sure."

You don't bother asking why Togame wants to see your sex toy. It doesn't occur to you that there'd be any reasons outside of plain curiosity which you can understand. Togame dated a girl long-term so he knows some things, but you figure any girl with a decent boyfriend wouldn't need to make the same use of toys as you do. It'd make sense he's never seen one up close and personal.

You scoot to the edge of the bed and lean slightly as you open the side drawer and pull the toy out where it sits in nice, cardboard package. You pass it off to Togame before sitting back comfortably against your headboard.

He sits the box in his lap and stares at it for a long while.

You wonder if this is weird.

It doesn't bother you much either way, but it it is...

Odd, just how long Togame stares at it. He undoes the top of the folded box, pulling it back to reveal the soft, baby blue vibrator. It's six inches long and curved, with a soft rubber attachment to stimulate your clit and angle for your g-spot at the same time. Made with a high quality velveteen silicone. It has a lot of settings, and does the sort of rumbly vibrations you know feel good as opposed to the mechanical buzz of cheaper kinds.

Completely unused, Togame holds in his hands for a while, grabbing it by the ends. He doesn't touch it in a way that's weird. More like he assesses it. Measures it. You don't know for what though.

"It's cute."

"Huh?"

"The vibrator, I mean." Togame comments, putting it back in the box. His expression is unreadable. Something simmers under the surface of his neutral face but you can't place what exactly. "It's a cute color and the little pointed part here is cute."

You place a hand on your chest and close your eyes in sincerity. "Thank you. I also think I have excellent aesthetic taste."

Another pause. Brief but not.

"Do you want help using it?"

"Wha—"

"The vibrator," Togame clarifies before you get through the rest of your sentence. "Do you want me to help you use it?"

Your mind blanks. Your mouth moves faster than you can.

"...In what way?"

Togame remains steady. "Getting you comfortable and putting in you. As far as solutions go, it's the best I've got."

...Huh?

"Wouldn't that be awkward for you?"

"Is it awkward for you?" Togame replies back.

You stop to consider the question then shake your head.

"I mean...It's you. I trust you and I'm grateful but this..." You furrow your brow and look towards him. "Can you really do something like that with me? Just to help me?"

"Yeah." He replies. The words come so easily to him you're startled. Was he always this casual? You guess in a way but still. It's surprising. "It's the most direct route to solve your problem, I think. Once you've done it once with someone else, you'll definitely be able to do it alone right?"

You reason about this and find it's a somewhat optimal solution. You can't figure out the exact source of your unease about all of it, though it's there. You can't figure out Togame either. You appreciate how much he seems to want to help you but it doesn't make your worries go away.

You frown a little deeper.

"You're thinking about it too hard." Togame interjects. His tone is warm and easy.

"You're not thinking about it hard enough," You respond back. "What are you trying to do anyway? To help."

"Scratch the itch for you. Just think of it like that."

"Does that do anything for you?"

He dodges the question. "Don't worry about me. I'm offering. Promise it's fine."

You frown with your legs crossed, staring at the empty space of the bed. "...I g-guess it's fine? I can't think of a reason to say no."

"You don't mind doing this with me? Or is it because you're okay with anyone?"

You shake your head.

"What are you saying? Of course it's because you're the one asking. I trust you."

He smiles genuinely at that, eyes closed in what seems like relief. "I just wanted to make sure."

Togame opens his eyes again and casts them your way. Your breathing feels shallow under the weighted glance. He sits up a little more and shrugs his jacket off his shoulders, placing it on the pillow next to you. He feels broader without the layer of fabric over his torso, white shirt stretching over his frame as he sits on the bed on his knees.

"Lay down. Get comfortable."

You nod, adjusting the pillows and things and trying not to feel self-conscious or get cold feet. It speaks to your desperation that you're taking this help so willingly and from your long time best friend no less. In the back of your head, you do feel a little strange.

Togame is just being a good friend, that's what you tell yourself. You believe it too.

He hovers above you first. You tilt your head to look at him, the short gap of space between you feeling particularly small while also being miles wide. Your stomach flutters as Togame's eyes fix on your lips.

He leans forward and presses his mouth to yours. It's chaste. You wonder if you look even half as surprised as you feel.

"What was that for?"

"Breaking the ice."

You mumble. "Oh..."

Togame kisses you again that time, and then one more time before speaking up. "You're so naive."

"Huh? No I'm not,"

He brushes you off again that time before sitting up again. He sits between your legs where you have them spread. You have no idea what he's thinking or why he's doing this.

Unlike most people, you usually do have a good read on what Togame is feeling. He's upfront most of the time, despite his posturing seeming wishy-washy. It's a little weird to feel so out of bounds around him, like he purposely has his guard up. You wonder if that guard is for you, or for him. Is he uncomfortable somehow? Is he trying not to hurt your feelings by not being interested? You're not really expecting that.

But if that were the case, there's no reason he would help you this way.

Before you get too entranced in your thoughts, Togame snaps you out of them.

"How do you normally do this?"

You blink and look up.

"Do what?"

"Get off," Togame answers. Your eyes meet and you find yourself wanting to look away. "You said it was unsatisfying so I thought it'd be better if we started there,"

"Uhm," You feel embarrassed trying to talk about this. You're not sure why. It's not something you'd feel self-conscious outside this specific context but Togame just seems more... intense then usual. Like he's being serious about your silly problem. "D-depends? Sometimes I watch porn or listen to audios or read. Not always."

"Got it. How do you touch yourself then?"

He looks expectant. You turn your head to look away from him. The minutes tick by.

"Uhm... just rubbing my c-clit usually. I have uhm, other toys I'll use sometimes too but I need to touch my clit to get off." You wonder if these are too many details. Togame is listening to it so carefully. "Uhm. If i-its too sensitive I'll touch over my clothes too. Sometimes I cum like that."

His face shifts. It lingers long enough for you to notice but not enough for you to process what it was. He's back to his usual self so quickly you wonder if you've made the entire thing up.

"Right. I think I know what your problem is,"

You feel a little relieved at that. "Really?"

He pauses before smiling a little with a friendly nod that reminds you of how you were when you were kids, a face that's unexpectedly kind. "Really."

You look at him expectantly.

"I think you're not building up to it enough." Togame comments, smoothly. You blink at him. "You're a girl, you know? Can't jump straight into it, you need to stimulate yourself more first and relax. You're so focused on cumming it backfires. I'll help you."

"How...?"

"I'll help you relax and help you figure out what you like. Don't think about it too hard and focus on feeling good."

"You really don't have to do this for me," You mumble. He smiles at you.

"C'mon. You just said I was your best friend right? I don't mind, so chill out and let me help."

"Okay," You nod, bright eyed. "Okay....thank you."

He makes a face at you before nodding. "Uh-huh. Of course."

Togame hovers above you with lazy smile. You close your eyes on instinct as you feel your lips press together. His lips are softer than you thought they'd be. A hand cups the back of your neck and brings you closer to him. The weight of his body makes you self-conscious about his proximity. You can smell the scent of his skin, feel his presence surround you as he kisses you soft to start.

The shift in the air surrounding you is gradual in a way that reminds you so much of Togame. He's not intense at the beginning, never is really is - but then his hand goes to hold your knees and pull your legs up. His tongue slips against the closed seam of your lips until they part, until he touches yours and you have to reconfigure how you breathe. He's so good at kissing you it makes you wonder if he's kissed you before and you can't remember. But then it feels good and you're reminded—

If it felt this good there's no way you would've forgotten it.

When you pull away for air to breathe, or start to stumble through a question on how this is helping - Togame shuts you up. It takes it happening twice for you realize it's deliberate. Every time he kisses you a little deeper, and the last time he slips his tongue in so far you'd think he's trying to eat you whole.

You're wet. You're unsure if you're allowed to feel guilty about it, or if you're even meant too. Anyone would be turned on getting kissed like this. You're really unsure about all of this but you're fine because it's Togame. There's no way he'd do anything bad to you or for you.

He's over protective in general, though he's rarely frank about it.

(If you were any less clueless, you'd would know that most times Togame is doing his best to protect from himself. Most times, he feels like the biggest danger to you)

Togame pulls away from your lips when you moan a little. You feel embarrassed at the state your left in and how he looks at you. Picking you apart in his mind but not with ill intent. Like he wants to know every thread of your want.

Again, you think he's going to tease you. Light but still teasing.

"Does that feel good?"

It's a serious question. It stuns you. Just a little. His hand on the back of neck feels hot. You notice the way his thumb caresses your nape and try not to stutter.

"Uh..y-yeah." You reply, trying not to look stupid. "I like kissing. Uhm. In general."

He doesn't react to that, nods in a way you find curt in comparison to how passionately he was kissing you just moments ago. "It'll help you relax." And then, a little softly. "If you want to kiss again and we're not already, ask."

An odd request but you acquiesce with another soft noise.

"Do you feel a little warmed up?"

His eyes are so strangely shaded in this light. You open your mouth to the awkward confession. "Oh... nn. I'm... y-yeah. I'm wet already."

"From kissing?"

You give him a sheepish look. Togame responds with another kiss that makes you feel like you're being driven into a corner. This one is hot and heavy, doesn't build up but starts with an almost oppressive air. He nips at you, teeth tugging at your lips and licking in earnest to your mouth. Long and deep until your brain feels melty, your thoughts swimming and clouded. Longing for touch and release. Arousal threads through the fibers of your muscles, makes you feel wound up tight - a serpents coil. You clench your thighs on instinct at the worsening wetness.

Your mouth feels swollen and bitten when you pull away again and Togame looks a little more like you're used to him looking. An underlying sense of smug self-satisfactions on his face as he looks down at you, not outweighed by his genuine ease.

A look on his face like he likes your company. You find him comforting in how easy it is to see.

"Is it okay to touch you in other places?"

"Uhm. Anywhere above the belt is fine, I think."

"Makes sense,"

He leans up and slides both hands underneath your hoodie. You're not really prepared for... this. You don't know if you can call it sex or not but whatever it is, you weren't intending for it to happening.

"You're not wearing a shirt," His hands feel so big on your waist. Big and calloused, split skin scarred over from fighting. "A bra?"

"A sports bra."

"Right."

He slides your hoodie up over your torso until it's bare and takes your sports bra along with it in one go. Your tits fall from them with a soft swish with how quick he does it, the light bounce making your skin grown hot. Togame hovers above you as he eyes them, palms just underneath but not touching.

"Stop looking so hard."

He brushes past that. "They're nice."

"Shut up," You say for the first time. Togame smiles slightly.

"Not a nice way to talk to someone who's helping you," He says sarcastically. You pout but refuse to apologize. He remains unbothered then goes back to being alarmingly serious. "Do you play with them?"

"H-huh? When I masturbate? Not really. I've never thought too."

"Why's that?"

You shrug. "The guys I dated used to touch them but it mostly felt weird, not good. Never thought of trying on my own."

He gives you a looking asking for permission. You nod. This really does not feel normal but the arousal clouding your brain is a lot louder than your sense of shame.

Togame's hands slide up your sides until he's cupping the roundness of your chest. His thumbs hover against hardened nipples, constrained in the touch. It's different than how other guys have done it for you. He's paying attention to that bit most, and he's going about it softly. Pushing the hardened bud with a light flick that sends a jolt of shock through your body.

He's quick to notice your reaction, green eyes flickering up before doing it again. You squirm, stretching your legs and shifting as another tick of arousal goes through your whole body. Your clit is starting to throb so much it hurts. If it were you, you would've started touching yourself a long while ago. As soon as you felt yourself get wet.

Togame is taking his time, though. And you're feeling it so much it's a little shameful for you. He does it again, touching your nipples - both side at the same time. Your body is pushing for more.

You've managed to keep the noise down but you're pushed over your usual limits. A moan spills from your lips as you push up into his touch. "That's good, huh? Just needed it a little softer and more focused."

You try not to be any more embarrassing. Wouldn't anyone feel weird over this?

He's the most important person in your entire life, and he's seeing you like this. Not judging you, just remaining even and consistent. Teasing you but not enough to make you upset. He's being so careful. Is this the kind of boyfriend he is? You think that must make him popular, so then... why does it never work out? He's never dated anyone longer than a year.

But he's being so sweet to you despite not dating. He's always kind but this is different. You can't imagine who would see this part of him and break up.

You try not to think about any of this but the only other thing you can focus on is him rubbing your nipples and how nice it feels. The moan of his name is pitchy, sounds foreign to your own ears with how high and broken it is.

"Kame-chan," Your voice is warbly when you ask. You just want to stop thinking. "Kiss?"

He pauses. You think he's going to deny you at first.

"Fuck. That ain't fair, you know?"

You don't know what he means, but he complies and kisses you open mouthed as he plays with your tits. Rubs and flicks them just the way you like. It feels so good. You've never felt anything like it before. Your tummy flutters, honeyed lust dripping down your inner thighs.

Your body moves on it's own, your hands carding through his hair as arousal starts to pool. Your panties feels soaked and sticky, through the fabric. You shift again trying to relieve the feeling, brain scrambled by Togame's touch.

You're so horny you can't make sense of anything. Your body is a relentless echo of your wants and needs - demanding attention. His attention, specifically. Need curls up in your chest.

Between kisses you confess this to Togame, who you trust now more than ever despite feeling so incredibly vulnerable. How could you not go with it when he's taking such good care of you?

"Wanna cum so bad," You mutter, sloppy between kisses. Togame takes in a deep breath as he pulls away.

"You think you're worked up enough for it?"

You see through him instantly even in your haze. "Don't be mean to me, you jerk."

"Caught me, huh? Okay, okay. How do you normally do this?"

"Do what?"

"Fuck yourself with something,."

The words send heat sparking against your spine. You tuck your face against his jacket where it's laying besides you and huff. It smells like him. "Ngh. Usually finger myself a little first."

"Got a good idea then." He hums. The sound of his voice, low and smooth, makes you feel comforted. "I'll lay next to you and help keep you distracted while you open yourself up, yeah? Nothing below the belt 'n all. And when you're already I'll put in for you and turn it on."

You sniff. "Okay."

He smiles at you, pulling his hands and body away from you before laying besides you instead. He lets you rest your head against his arm and shoulders - sneaking the rest of his arm around and underneath you, squeezing one of your tits. He presses your body into him and gropes around the bed for the box with your toy, grabbing it from inside before shoving it away.

Up close, you can feel his muscles even better than you could. You wonder how someone so relaxed could be this built but try not to let it burden your brain. He smells so nice. Did he always? You feel too horny to remember, but you like it.

You can feel him glancing down at you, amused.

"Comfy?" Togame's voice vibrates through your whole body.

"Uh-huh."

"If you turn your head towards me I can kiss you and touch you. Keep your mind occupied a bit."

"Oh. That makes sense."

"It does right? Go ahead and start."

You think you should tell him not to watch. Keeps his eyes for himself. But the focus of his gaze makes you burn so much hotter you don't bother. He's already seen so much, anyway.

You shimmy out of your sweat pants until they're down at your ankles revealing your panties. Baby blue printed boyshorts, fabric soaked until they look a nearly new navy shade. You feel his laughter less than you hear it, turning your head to glare at him. He smiles a little at you.

"Those are cute too," Togame comments. You can hear his voice so clearly like this you think you'll collapse if you pay too much attention to it. "Too bad you made 'em all messy."

You swallow a sound, too horny to protest. He stops you before you can take your panties off.

"Didn't you say you normally touch over the fabric when you're sensitive? Do that."

"But—"

"Just trust me," He promises. He kisses your hair. Your heart thuds when he does it. It's an innocent gesture. "It'll make it more satisfying, okay?"

Your shaky as you spread yourself a little wider and slip your hand down between your legs. All the desire you're holding starts to unwind as your middle finger slides over the soaked seam of your cotton panties. They're cuter than normal, printed with florals and lace trimmed. Absolutely drenched in your arousal. You rub a small circle into your clit and your whole body breaks out into shivers, your eyes fluttering closed at the sensation.

You could cum like this. Just from this. But you want something more, something better so you force yourself to go slow.

"It's messy," Togame hums, nonchalant. "You get easier than I thought you would. Are you going slow so you don't cum right away?"

"Don't point it out, aah,"

"You should cum if you want too," Togame suggests.

"No," You whine. "Wanna cum with the toy."

"Wanna cum with a cock inside you, ya mean? A silicone one but still. Not enough to just touch yourself, you need something more, is that it?"

He says the words so casually, so lightly. Almost friedly despite how filthy they are. There's no malice in them.

Spoken like high praise or affection. The kind you'd show a kitten,.

"Kame—"

"Didn't know your had such a need pussy. No wonder it's hard to cum all by yourself, huh?"

"Stop being mean," You gasp. "I'll cum,"

He laughs at that. It's genuine and bright.

"Too much for ya, huh? S'okay. Take these off now. Finger yourself. Make sure you get all that mess you made so we can use on your toy. It'll hurt if it's dry going in."

You feel blindsided by just how much Togame is talking. He's been so quiet, so brief and unreadable. He feels like his usual self too much, to your complete detriment. His voice is teasing, yet warm and sweet. He smells good and he's pressing you all against his chest. Your fingers tremble as you slide your panties down to your ankles same as before. You end up shimmying the rest of your clothes off.

You're so aroused it's easy to get the first finger in. Your hole twitches, the entrance pleasurable as slowly ease your middle finger down to knuckle. You til your head towards Togame as you get adjusted to the intrusion easily from how wet you are, pouting your lips. He gives into the kiss right away, warm tongue and soft lips familiar to you now. You ease yourself into the pace of his kiss, whimpering into his mouth as you slowly open yourself on second finger.

"I want it so bad," You mumble. He laughs against your mouth.

"I can tell. Can barely string a sentence together. You want to cum huh?"

"Uh-huh."

"What a naughty pussy. You're trembling from just fingering yourself. Won't you cum right away if I put in you at once? I'll have to go slowly," Togame explains. He speaks the filth so naturally. "Take my time so you're stretched nicely and not scared anymore. I'll turn the vibrator on after it's already inside so you can't run away from it. You can cum to your hearts content, then."

"I'm still scared," You admit. You're just so horny you're unsure of what else to do. He leans down to kiss you again, nose brushing against yours intimately.

"Don't be scared. Just focus on stretching so you're not so tight. I'll praise you if you take it in easily."

Your voice gives once you manage to get a third in. Togame doesn't stop kissing you, barely giving you enough air to breathe. He plays with your chest with his free hand, and holds the toy with the other.

A string of spit connects you. Your thighs are aching, body burning hot as you look at him directly.

"Wanna cum," You slur your words, speaking in short sentences. Togame grins a little.

"Take your fingers out and show them to me."

Your stomach flips but you comply with the request. Your face burns from how soaked they are.

"Good. Rub them on the toy now. Get it as sticky as you can."

Your heart is pounding is loud in your ears as you clumsily coat your new toy with your own mess. You watch it gain a fresh shine, baby blue turning reflective as you push it against and between your fingers until all of it's coated as best you can.

"That's it, good. Spread your legs now. Gonna put it in. Want me to kiss you?"

You nod sheepishly and close your eyes. Togame laughs warmly before kissing you again.

Your whole body throbs in anticipation for it. A muscular forearm and hand slip between your legs as you spread yourself open, your feet flat on the bed for easier access. Togame forces his tongue into your open mouth, kissing you wet and hard as he tweaks your nipples. You feel pleasantly suffocated from the pressure before gasping into his mouth.

The swollen silicone head of your toy stretches your pussy more than you thought it would. You've never had a toy with angles so the sensations are all new. You can feel it so well inside of you, you can barely keep your composure long enough to stop moaning as just the tip slides in. Togame swallows each noise from your mouth. His kisses feel almost ferocious now when they were so composed before, free hand cupping your jaw from one side.

He fucks it in slowly, rocking the toy by its handle slowly until you get used to it - giving you moments between to adjust. You can feel it bottom out inside of you, the head pressing so precise on your swollen gspot you could cum from bucking your hips. Your sensitivity is over the top. Every touch and and tease and bump makes your cunt clench and throb.

The blunt end of the rubber attachment presses against your needy little clit. Togame moves the toy a little, fucking you with it slightly again. Barely. It still nearly makes you cum.

You feel like he's edging you. Anymore than this, you think you'll go crazy.

"Kame-chan." Your voice is beyond wrecked, throat as one of your hands reaches to cling desperately to his short sleeves. You fist it, teary. "Jo, turn it on please. Make me cum. Wanna cum so bad, 'm so close, please, please. C'mon."

"Turning it on, baby. Easy."

The word baby makes your body melt.

A slight click sounds as Togame turns on the vibrator.

Your whole body lurches at the sudden change. Togame pins you with his own, keeps his hands steady and the toy inside of you without skipping a beat. The soft whirr of the first setting completely unravels you. It feels like every nerve in your body is being pulled apart, electricity through a frayed copper wire. The muscles in your body aching with anticipation after so many dissatisfying orgasms clench tight as your body prepares itself for something so vast your mind can't process it at all. Your hands fist at your sides, clutching the sheets as you get close to cumming.

You're thrashing from the sensation. It's so much, too much - you've never felt anything like it before. You feel full and euphoric and your head is spinning. It feels so good it terrifies you, makes you clench up hard in how unbearably unrelenting it is. There's no pace, no where to escape from. The vibrations are strong but not overwhelming to the point you can't feel them.

You're so senstive all over your body and it's touching you in two places.

Your spine starts to curl into an arch, hips stuttering and twisting as you feel it rushing over your consciousness. Fuck, you've wanted this for so long. It's exactly the high you've been chasing after on your own for so many months it's making your brain feel like like mush. Animal instinct forces your hips up, bucking against Togame's hand where he holds the toy. You're fucking yourself on it. You can hear him laugh as he moves to meet you ruts.

You feel like you're losing your fucking mind.

"G-gonna—fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! I can't, I can't, I can't. Feels so good, Ican't."

He leans in and gets close to your ear, tongue caressing the lobe before biting it soft.

"Yes you can. You want it so bad don't you? Wanna cum all over this cock so bad you've been aching for it. I know you want it, I can see it. Look how much your moving your hips." His voice is shaking, hands flicking your nipples messy and harsh as he speaks. "Look what a mess you're making. You're leaking everywhere. You want it badly right? Don't think about it and cum. Cum as much as you want. Cum for me,"

The last words are the ones to snap the thread inside of you.

Your brain bluescreens as your body seizes before finally, finally giving you the orgasm you've been chasing. You smash your lips against Togame's as your spine arches off the bed, thrashing in place. Something in you undoes - and you feel a wet rush spray from between your legs at the same time your orgasm hits. Your mind feels completely and utterly blanked. Your body is in total rapture, uncontrollable pleasure fucking your brain until you're stupid and slack jawed. It feels so good, so so good. You didn't know anything could ever feel that good in your life. It's scary.

You feel like you could get addicted. Your high rides out for much longer than ever before. In between sloppy kisses, you say the same words over and over and over. Togame grips you close to him as you do.

"Jo," You mutter. "Thank you, thank you, thank you—feels so fffucking good, fuck. I can't, I can't. Off, off. 's too much, I'll pee."

Instead of turning it off, he turns the vibration up by one. Your eyes fly open as you gasp, words rushed. Panicked.

"I can't," You swear, looking at him for mercy. His face is flushed. "I can't, Jo-chan, I'll cum again, I'll—"

"Cum." He says, demands - voice rougher than you've heard it all night. "I know you can. Cum,"

On demand practically, your legs seize up and you cum again a second time in near succession. You feel so fucking incredible you think you're going to die.

"Fuck!"

You squirt again, body nearly giving out as more short spurts soak your sheets and mattress. Your pussy is pulsing in the after math, trembling and clenching so violently. You whine loudly as Togame stops the vibration and pulls the toy out, shivering as it catches on your tight hole before coming out of it with a soft pop.

Your legs are twitching.

Even though Togame has no more reason to kiss you he does. And even though you're well past the point of needing to kiss him back, you do more affectionately than any time prior.

"You made me feel so good it's freaking me out." You admit, shaking uncontrollably.

Togame pauses before breaking out into genuine laughter. He kisses your head, arm wrapping around your shoulders until you're hugged against him.

"You were so sexy like that."

You blink at him, face flushed.

"Sexy?"

"I was really hard seeing you cum," He says, casually looking down. "I didn't know you could be cute and ask for kisses. You're usually more—"

You put a hand over his mouth.

"Whatever you're gonna say shut up,"

He just smiles, cheek against your hair. "I'm glad you got to feel good."

"What about you?" You mumble, feeling your heart pick up just asking. "Are you still hard? I feel like I should pay you back somehow,"

He looks at you seriously. "Do you know what you're implying?"

You fold a little but nod anyway. "Yeah."

"Do you really? The monk thing is a joke, you know. If you offer something like that, I won't be able to stop."

"It's fine," You say confidently before adding, much quieter. "I r-really want to do... it with you."

Togame pauses before kissing you deeply. Your whole body feels molded to him now.

"Damn it." He looks down at you, black hair sticking to his skin. You wanna feel his undercut with your hands in his hair. "You know this ain't normal between friends, right?"

"Uhm, yeah? I figured."

"Don't go around getting help from anyone."

You shake your head. "It's only 'cause it's you."

He scrubs a hand over his face and laughs. "You don't need to stir me up anymore. I'm already hard enough. Can't keep my composure at all."

You tilt your head in confusion. Togame just sighs.

"Don't worry about it." He says, shaking his head. "How soon can I get my thanks?"

Your eyes widen as you clench again. "Uhm. Now, if you want it."

He grins a little lazy, eyes swimming with adoration.

"I do," He hums, laying back as you get up from where you've been laying. "Come over here and let me touch you properly then."

"Is that what you really want?"

You climb ontop of him, bare naked almost as your hoodie falls back down over your torse. Togame slides the fabric up and gives you a meaningful look.

"More than anything,"

[on-the-clear-blue]

Dead Man's Diner pt 7

Hearing the chime of rhe bell above the door, Danny mentally prepared himself before poking his head around the corner "Heya! I will be with you in one hot sec!"

Rushing around the kitchen, Danny set the chili to simmer and quickly cleaned himself up before coming back to greet his newest customer.

Stepping upt to the bar, Danny put his best customer service smile on and opened his mouth to speak, but the words that came out were not in English.

"Hey there! Welcome to Big C's diner what can i..." Blinking a bit before frowning, Danny looked closer at his customer, his eyes flickering a bright green as he squinted at the man.

Because either this man was the very strong revenant that had claimed Crime alley as his huant, or there some how was a 4th Halfa in the world.

---

Jason found the little diner comfortable, more up to date than the typical dive that was in the Alley, there wasn't even any blood splatter in the back booths!

He kinda didn't like how there was only a single person working there at night, being so close to the Alley and all, but that was easily fixed if he just happened to come around in his Red Hood outfit.

Sending a smirk like smile to the teen that came out from the kitchen, who had the fakest smile that Jason had ever seen outside of a gala.

But his smirk slowly slipped as the kid spoke, his words both sounding clear and distorted at the same time, he could make out words but it was very clearly not words at the same time.

Then, the kid's eyes flashed, and Jason had seen those eyes before, he had seen them in the mirror more times than he was willing to admit.

(Holy shit this kid is about to have a Pit episode in front of me...how the fuck did this kid get in the pits?) Jason thought as he leaned back into his seat, his hand instantly going to where his guns usually were, but only grasped at air.

(Right...forgot those at home...) He thought, settling instead to set his hands on the counter, Jason narrowed his eyes at the teen

But just like that, the green was gone, and the teen cleared his throat, "Sorry about that, um, welcome to Big C's, what can I get ya?"

---

Danny gave a weak smile, he didn't exactly want to throw down with this potential halfa, sure he liked a good ghostly welcome every now and again, but he just cleaned up and he would like his diner to stay that way thank you!

The man across from him glared for amoment longer before shaking his head, "Shit, ugh...gimme a coffee and...what's your special today?"

Reaching for the coffee pot, Danny felt a rumble in the diner cart, and there was suddenly a chalk board on the wall behind him.

Pouring his customer a mug, his brain paused for a moment, translating the ghost script before he spoke "Cadavers chili hotdogs, made with 100% not person meat...I promise neither are made out of people, definitely didnt seen any bodies when I made it my guy."

---

Staring at the blackboard that Jason was very much sure wasn't there a moment ago, he felt his chest tighten and ache as he read the...sigils? Words? They were definitely something and he totally shouldn't know what they mean.

Biting back a snort at the dry comment, Jason focused on him "I will take two...Danny? That your name or just the name on the aprin you got?"

Jason was totally not digging for information, because he totally wasn't a Bat or a Bird, and he totally didn't have an urge to know everything about the person across from him.

Getting a dry chuckle from the guy on the other side of the counter, who could only shake his head, "Sadly, that's my name, I will be back in a sec with your food, no running off tho' ya hear? Already dealt with dine and dashers once this week."

Letting out a chuff, Jason kept his eyes around the room, he knew logically he should be more freaked out by this whole experience, but he couldn't help but feel his body relax and his mind comfortable slow.

Holding the cup of coffee in both hands, he took a long sip and memories hit him harder than a crowbar.

It was his mother's coffee, not the bitch that sold him out but his mama, Catherine, the woman that struggled to keep him happy and fed.

It was the watered down brew, stretched to make it last longer.

It was milky and sweet with sugar packets pilfered form diners such as this and powdered milk he used to steal from the grocery store just for her.

His mama gave up so much for him, why couldn't he just do one little petty theft for her?

His heart aches again, and the intense feel of the pits roar in his ears, but they weren't calling for blood, the pits crooned in nostalgic heart break.

Usually remembering before his death was a trigger, was something that made him rage, but right now? He could only mourn for the mother and son that used to cuddle up together under a ratty blanket, of the mother that whispered stories to him during long quiet nights, of the woman that he had found dead on one such quiet night.

---

Tossing on the last bit of fresh diced onions, Danny had a cheesy grin on his face as he brought the plate to the front, mouth opening to speak before noticing his customers disposition.

He was hunched over on himself, looking small (which was impressive for a man thst looked twice his size and 4 times more muscular)

Tears were streaming down his face as he stared at the now half full mug, for some reason it felt heart breaking to see.

Setting the plate down carefully in front of the man, Danny placed a hand on his shoulder, "It's okay man...your okay bud." Awkwardly Patting his customers shoulder, Danny felt a bit of panic, he wasn't Jazz he didn't know how to like, console people!

It took a few minutes for the man to calm, and Danny handed him a few paper towels to clean himself up, patting him on the back one last time, Danny let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, "Well...um, hope that the coffee is so bad that it made you cry, I-uhh, could comp it if you want?"

The man just shook his head, "Fuckin' hell, ain't bad, just...God damn it..."

---

Rubbing at his eyes Jason huffed, "Sorry for, um....blubbering on ya like that..

don't usually get teary at coffee, that's more of Timmer's shtick, just tastes...tastes like my mom's coffee when I was a kid..." shaking his head, Jason looked at the chili dogs, they still steamed, the cheese now melted on nicely.

Danny just nodded, "Yeah, some reason i have gotten a few comments on that" shrugging his shoulders, he started to figgle with a cloth, wipping down the counter as he spoke "Meh, Gotham is fucked up and I don't want to even begin to try and figure out."

Croaking out a laugh Jason dragged the plate of food closer, "Fucking right about that...though if you keep making it like that you got yourself a regular customer."

Reaching a hand across the counter, Jason gave Danny a weak smile, "Names Jason, nice to meet ya."

Taking the hand, Danny gave a smirk back, "Got it, one sad cup of coffee for you then-" Snapping his head over as he heard a beeping sound, Danny got a panicked look on his face "Oh shit! My cookies!"

---

Storming to the back, Danny ran to the oven, throwing it open, scrambling for the oven mits, he phased a hand through them instead of tugging them on, and quickly pulls the smoaking batch of sweets from the rack.

Plopping them on the counter, he hears the oven snap shut as he sighs, turning to thank the diner, he pauses to see the sight of a man he was hoping that he would never have to see again.

"Oh little Bager, King of the Realms making food for the common folk? How the great have fallen.." Vald said with a viscous grin, his hand reaching up to flip off the oven, "Did you think I wouldn't find you? Thought you could rum off and not tell dear old Uncle? Don't worry Bager, while old Vlad might not come around to vist much..."

There was a flash of black light and where a man once stood was a ghost, his grin pulled back devilishly "I am sure Plasmius will make up for it very...very well."

---

Laughing a bit as he watched Danny scramble inot the back, Jason stared at the food, he was still hungry but...he held an apprehension of sorts, was this going to bring back memories? Would they be good like the coffee or...

His thoughts were cut off as a body was through through the deviding wall from the front of the house to the kitchen.

Bolting up out of his seat, he watched as Danny stepped out of the hole in the wall, shaking out his fist as he did, "I really don't have the fucking time for you Plasmius, don't you see I have a customer?"

Jason stared as the body that was punched through the wall, that looked mangled, twisted and broken start to twitch and crack back into place, limbs bending back from positions they should never be, and then the man sat up, a feral grin on his lips.

(Really fucking bad day for not having my God damn guns.)

[sourcherryandsprinkles]

Ethan is trying to do work and the reader distracts him which turns into more. Just Ethan being flustered and trying to focus while reader teases him. 🤗

I've done a version of this with Mindy

Warnings: nudity, teasing

my taglists are here + you can send requests here at any time

—

‘’Did you see my green highlighter?’’

‘’No. I have a blue one, here.’’ You fished it from your pencil case, but Ethan didn’t take it.

‘’I can’t use blue.’’

‘’I have pink, yellow and orange if you prefer—’’

‘’No. That’s not what I meant. I have a color code. Green is for the things I understand, blue is for what I don’t understand and the glittery gel pen is for underlining things that I think are gonna be in the exams.’’

Fondness filled your stomach. He was so precious and nerdy at the same time. You reached across the bed to grab the collar of Ethan's henley and kissed him sweetly.

‘’Eh…what was that for?’’ Ethan asked, a little dumbfounded. ‘’I love your kisses, it’s just that we really need to study—’’

‘’You are such a nerd.’’ You kissed him again, lingering your lips on his. ‘’But I love you.’’

Ethan’s cheeks flushed the cutest shade of pink. ‘’I love you too.’’

You went back to studying, reading pages of textbooks until your eyes burned. Why was there so much to read in econ? Maybe you should switch majors?

‘’Have you read the chapter about taxation?’’ Ethan asked, a pen in one hand and a highlighter in the other. ‘’My mind is literally going to explode from the amount of information.’’ His eyes were fixated on his textbook, concentrated on what he was reading.

A breath of air left your lips. ‘’I have not. Sorry.’’ You ran a hand through your hair, flicking through pages with your other. ‘’I’m like…two chapters behind.’’

Ethan snapped his head up. ‘’Two?! What have you been doing all this time? Mrs. Coleman is gonna question us about these chapters next lesson.’’

He was right, but you had been studying for over three hours and nothing was sticking to your brain anymore. Your learning batteries were full for today. Maybe you’ll bring your textbook to your shift at the campus library tomorrow. Thursday afternoons are always quiet.

Before you, Ethan had returned to his reading, pen cap between his teeth while he was underlining long paragraphs. Sometimes, you wished he wasn’t so serious during study dates. School was important, but it doesn’t mean you can’t take a few makeout breaks.

You tried getting back to reading, but the words were not sticking. So you threw a paperclip at Ethan. It hit his chest and you grinned amusedly.

‘’Hey! Stop throwing shit at me,’’ he scolded, throwing it back at you.

‘’Let’s take a break.’’

Ethan shook his head. ‘’Can’t. I have another chapter to read and then I’m meeting with a study group.’’ He checked the time on his phone, making sure he wouldn’t be late.

A study group? You thought you were going out for late dinner at the café right outside campus. They have this new breakfast all day menu and you couldn’t wait to have waffles for dinner.

You pouted in disappointment. Guess there won’t be any waffles tonight…

‘’Can we at least cuddle before you go?’’ you asked, impatient to wrap your whole body around Ethan like a koala and kiss his face while he holds you back with his strong arms.

Your question was left pending and you were tempted to chuck a pillow at the curly haired nerd before you — but you didn’t. Instead, you took advantage of focused attention and removed your shirt and bra without him noticing. You felt a shiver up your spine when the cool air of Ethan's dorm hit your warm skin, causing your nipples to peak.

Ethan was addicted to your tits. Maybe he’ll put down his textbooks for a few minutes.

‘’This part is really important. Do you think we should make flashca—’’ Ethan cut himself and you heard him make a little noise, his bambi eyes falling on your breasts exposed right before him. The pen he was holding fell from his grasp and you smirked.

You felt the weight of Ethan’s eyes on you, all the information he just read suddenly swept away. ‘’What is it you were saying?’’ You let your hand crawl up his jeans-covered thighs and a swallow bobbed its way over his adam's apple when you almost reached his crotch. ‘’Cat’s got your tongue, love?’’

Ethan opened his mouth to speak, but your hand was getting higher and higher. A whimper slipped from his lip when you reached your desired spot, feeling him growing stiff beneath your palm. It’s so good to tease him.

He reached for your breasts, his palms enclosed over them, kneading into them as his eyes lit up like a kid in a candy store.

You sighed in pleasure, grazing your fingers along Ethan’s jaw. ‘’How many chapter do you have left again?’’ 

—

Scream taglist: @misfityanii @beautybyfire @iluvscream191 @mariposa555 @bella7866 @o638 @lulubelle14 @luvvtxinityy @frasersgf  @Eddiefrickenmunson @jasperr-the-friendly-ghost @ghostf4cee @thesebitcheslovesosadotcom @wandaswigglywoos @xjennyx2 @jennasslut @thatonesblog  @mikaelsonsstuff @icarly23 @tcddszn  @bt.oliana

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[ephie-om]

Satan thought that he had done enough research to be prepared for anything Diavolo's exchange program had to throw at him. He knew more than any of his brothers about human anatomy, psychology, and biology. He had a list of potential predispositions you would have about demons and how to overcome them. But just like with the rest of his family, you managed to surprise him.

You, a human, made the choice to treat the Avatar of Wrath with gentleness. He found his thoughts wandering to his favorite memories of your fingers ghosting over his wounds as your brow scrunched in worry. Some reckless part of him found that side of you so captivating he nearly threw himself into danger on purpose.

Logically, he knew that he loved you. He knew that, logically, you must at least like him. And logically, he knew that he should reciprocate that gentleness... somehow.

He ground his teeth in frustration as he slammed another book shut. Why did every book about humans in the Devildom only have information on eating, or killing, or exploiting them? The more time he spent without a course of action, the worse he felt. If he didn't know such a simple thing, surely you would decide he wasn't worth your time any more. And then what was he to do? Spend every moment pining for you to touch him, look him over with those eyes, just one more time?

That same reckless part of him spoke up again. Had you ever made him feel stupid? it asked. No, he answered. But I'm not sure if that's a risk I'm willing to take. You don't want to while away every day thinking about them, it answered snidely. But isn't that what you're doing right now?

A soft knock landed on his door, breaking him from this thoughts. Who would have the nerve to bother him this late? He stalked to the door, tail swiping past towers of books. His clawed hand ripped the door open only to find... you. Standing there, wringing your hands. "I'm sorry. I just had a shitty day, and I know it's late, but you were the first person I thought of." Your words sounded muffled to his ears. Why were your cheeks wet?

You walked into his room and he realized he must have stepped back to open the door. He should say something. He should find out what was wrong with your eyes, to make them so red. He should do anything besides stand there wordlessly and stare at you. "C-can I just stay in here for a little bit?" You stammered out. "You can pretend I'm not even here, I just don't wanna go right now."

"Of course," his words tumbled out, faster than his brain could catch up with him. "You can stay, you can stay all night if you want." You gave him a wobbly smile at that.

He realized this was his chance. If he got this right, you could see that he could be kind too, just like you. But if he messed up, he might scare you off. Permanently. He couldn't afford to make a mistake right now.

He stepped closer. Hesitantly, like approaching a deer. "Do you want to talk about it?"

You shook your head. "Thank you, but no."

Shit. He was all out of ideas. This wasn't good. His heart hammered in his ears, louder and louder. Thud. "We could sit down." Thud. "Maybe watch a movie?" Thud. "To take your mind off of it."

For a nerve-wracking moment, you considered it. "Yeah, that would be nice." Success. He let out a breath and followed you to the couch. Flipping through channels, you settled on some stupid, cheesy, vapid romance. Your heart wasn't in it, he thought, but you pretended to watch anyway.

Trying to swallow away the lump in his throat, his hand reached out for your shoulder, ever so slowly. Millimeter by millimeter he reached for you. He half expected you to startle once he finally made contact.

Instead, as his arm rested gingerly around you, you relaxed into him. Your head dropped into the curve of his neck like it was made to fit there. Your body settled slowly into his as the man on screen spilled coffee all over his secretary's blouse. You laughed softly, your body shaking, and Satan took the opportunity to scoot in just a little bit closer to you.

"Thank you," you murmured softly, your breath tickling his collarbone, "for all of this."

He smiled into your hair as his tail rested on your calf. "Of course. I'd never dream of not being here for you."

[zeevawyte]

Ok so, this is so far outside my usual stuff it’s insane, but this literally won't leave my brain and I don't know if I have time to write it so-

RadioApple fic idea under the cut:

TW: blood, mentions of cannibalism (it's Alastor, duh), semi-unsafe dom/sub (no actual sex), sub drops

Starts out your normal "stop interfering with my relationship with my daughter & you can have a snack whenever you want" kinda deal, with Alastor taking full advantage of the fact that he's got the most powerful being in hell at his mercy. Dude has a serious power trip the first time, & between that and the taste is hooked immediately.

And of course Luci isn't exactly complaining. Other than the occasional jumpscare via shadow, it hasn't been too bad. Kind of enjoyable actually, not that he'd ever admit that to the demon's face. And it's not like he hasn't been tied up or held down before either.

But then during one of their ‘meetings’ he ends up going into sub space on accident… and it keeps happening.

This wouldn't be a problem except Alastor (for obvious reasons) has literally zero information/knowledge about that sort of thing. And, being the dramatic asshole that he is, enjoys getting the last word and leaving without a backwards glance. Which means he's not there when Luci drops.

Hard.

But it's fine! He's fine! He's the King of Hell, he doesn't need some sinner to help him deal with the consequences of an arrangement he proposed in the first place. He's totally fine on his own.

Except he's not.

He is very much not fine, and it starts to show. It gets so bad that one day Charlie actually asks him if he’s ok mid-conversation.

Enter Angel Dust.

Now, by this point Angel’s like 98% sure the two powerhouses are going at it. Alastor has been in a good mood for months now (coinciding suspiciously with the two of them not being at each other’s throats all the time - at least in public) & he’s seen Luci coming out of a room straightening his coat and hat on one of the upper floors. Not to mention the down-right flirty undertones to any barbs they shoot back and forth.

Husk agrees that something is going on but heavily doubts it’s what Angel thinks.

Determined to prove that he’s right, Angel starts wandering the upper floors or heading up just as Alastor heads down (subtly, he’s not an idiot). Anyway, he’s up there one day being nosy when he hears a crash from one of the rooms. He goes in only to find Lucifer on the floor, having tripped over a side table and knocked over a lamp, disheveled and absolutely shaking.

He recognizes what’s happening almost immediately (fuck you very much Val) and gathers the little king up onto the couch, helping him calm down until he doesn’t look like he’s going to either spontaneously start sobbing or throw up on the rug.

Luci is understandably embarrassed and tries to offer him a favor for his help, but Angel waves him off saying he’s been there & that Luci doesn’t owe him anything.

The next day when Lucifer is off doing something else, Angel grabs Alastor and all but drags him into a side room.

“Look, I don’t know what’s going on between you and short king, and frankly it’s none’a my business-”

“No, it isn’t. And if that really is all you wanted to speak with me about-”

“Shut up! I’m not jokin’ alright? I’m bein’ 100% serious. You’re fucking up big time, and I’m pretty sure you don’t even know it. So if you don’t want this whole thing to end in a big fuckin’ mess you need to listen to me.”

Cue a hilariously awkward conversation where an unusually serious Angel explains dom/sub dynamics and the effects/consequences therein to an incredibly-uncomfortable-but-desperately-not-showing-it Alastor.

It ends with something along the lines of

"And look, I don't know if you actually care about the guy or if it’s just about gettin’ your kicks, but honestly? It doesn't matter. You've got your whole gentleman thing right? Openin' doors for the ladies and shit?" *pokes him in the chest* "Well as a gentleman, you've dropped the fuckin' ball. Only self-centered dicks leave their sub to drop alone."

Now if there’s one thing Alastor will not abide, it’s a loss of manners. Being told he’s been unknowingly committing a social faux pas gets under his skin immediately. It itches at him. To the point that his smile almost slips. More than once.

He needs to fix it. As soon as possible.

He’s visibly twitchy the rest of the day.

Husk corners Angel to ask what the hell he said to Al, but only gets a vague, noncommittal answer about letting him know about some information he was missing.

And the next time he and Lucifer have a ‘meeting,’ Alastor stays.

[sturnioloszn]

FADING LINES - M.S

summary; while at the club with your friends, you make the drunken mistake to call your toxic ex.

warnings; mentions of alcohol, clubbing/partying, arguing, toxic relationship.

a/n; this fic was inspired by that one scene in 'after we collided' where tessa calls hardin drunk lmfaoo. alsoo, pls feel free to leave suggestions for fics, thank uuuuu.

★ ° . *　　°　.　°☆ 　. * ● ¸. 　　　★ 　° :. ★　 * •

The music is blaring through the oversized speakers, which makes my bones vibrate to the beat of the music. I'm surrounded by a crowd of people who are sweating just as profusely as I am, and each time our skin makes contact I feel ill.

After the most stressful week of my life, my friends and I decided the best place to wind down was at the most popular club in La; so here we are. At this current time, I had about two margaritas, three cosmos, and several rounds of shots in my system, and I was definitely feeling it, to say the least.

With the pounding of the speakers and rapid movement of the people around, I begin to feel sick. The air is dense, and I feel the alcohol begin to cloud my brain. I try to look for my friends to let them know that I'm taking a break, but I can't seem to find them anywhere.

I eventually give up looking and spot a staircase, leading to a second floor. I make my way up the staircase, making sure to hold the bannister firmly while making my way up. This floor is more empty and secluded but still has the same energy and loudness from the bottom floor.

I whip my phone out from my purse and see it's currently fifteen minutes past three in the morning.

I try to call my friends, but it goes to voicemail each time. Where the fuck are they? While scrolling through my contacts, I come across my ex's one.

My thumb hovers over the call button before irrationally deciding to press it.

I place the phone up to my ear, and I hear it ring. After the second ring, someone picks up. Fuck.

"Hello?" I hear Matt ask over the phone. Shit, I haven't heard his voice in weeks. The last time I called him, I ended up in his bed. No, that wasn't going to happen this time.

"Heyy," I slurred, trying to sound as normal as possible but, in fact, doing the complete opposite.

"Y/n? What d'you want?" He huffs, as if I'm wasting his time. He picked up my call on the second ring I don't think I'm disturbing at all.

"What do I want? A million dollars, but we can't all have everything, I guess," I say, giggling at my own joke.

"What are you talking abo-, are you drunk??" He asks again.

"Wouldn't you like to know," I mock. I can hear him sigh over the phone and mumble something to himself, but I'm not that bothered to know what he's grumpy about.

"Why'd you call? Miss my cock already?" He snickers. Even though I can't see his gorgeous face, I know exactly what smirk is on it right now.

"You wishhhh, I'm actually calling you right now to let you know that I am happy by myself and that I don't miss you one bit. As a matter of the fact, I miss your cock the least about you," I ramble as he patiently waits for me to finish slurring sentences together.

"Yeah? So why are you calling me right now?" He questions slyly.

Well, I don't actually know why I'm calling him. I mean, I do miss his voice, and his cock, and overall just him. But he's an asshole. He never treated me right, and that should be enough for me to turn my back and forget about him, but it doesn't bring me remotely close to doing that.

"Because..... I just wanted to inform you that I look hot right now, and you are missing it," that sounded convincing, right?

"You always look hot, what's your point?" He remarks, leaving my speechless. This is what he always does. He slithers his way in with compliments and cute comments, and then when he's done with you, he throws you to the curb.

"My point...? My point is that I'm not wearing any underwear right now. I'm the commander...no, wait. Commanding? No...commando? Whatever it is, I'm not wearing panties!" I giggle, leaning back on the bannister, which is overlooking the first floor.

I hear him whisper something incoherent again before he speaks up, "Why the fuck aren't you wearing any underwear?". He sounds more pissed now but I don't give a fuck, the point was to piss him off.

"Why do you give a shit? I'm not your problem anymore, Matt," I say, smiling to myself, knowing I'm getting under his skin.

"Why do I give a shit? Because you're running around La drunk and without panties on," he says, getting more frustrated with me by the second.

"Sooo what? You scared another guy is gonna get his hands on me and fuck me better than you ever could?" I question, knowing that this comment was really gonna set him off.

"First of all, I know that nobody could ever fuck you as good as I do. Second of all, nobody is laying a finger on what belongs to me," he says firmly. The last sentence makes my heart skip a beat.

"I don't belong to anyone, Matt, especially not you," I reply, with half the confidence.

"You can try convince yourself of that all you want, baby, but you know deep down you belong to me," he whispers darkly. I felt my heart begin to beat out of my chest. I knew calling him was a bad idea.

No way. I'm out, having fun with my friends, and I am not leaving the club.

Before I get the chance to fight my corner he speaks again, "and send me your location, I'm coming to pick you up,". I hear shuffling over the phone and his car keys being picked up.

"No. You're not coming here and ruining my night," I say, getting upset.

"Either you send me your location, or I find you, and you know I will," He says. His words shouldn't affect me, but they do; and in the worst way possible, too. I squeeze my thighs together, trying to ignore the ache he's creating between my legs.

"Start looking then," I say before hanging up the phone. I take a deep breath, trying to recover from that conversation, but it's not helping, so I turn to the bar for some help.

I make my way back down to the first floor bar, where another two shots are being digested, and I'm currently sipping on a strawberry daiquiri. I still have no luck spotting my friends, but I'm sure they're somewhere.

As I'm finishing up my drink, preparing to go back onto the dance floor, I feel hand on my waist. I turn my head to find a middle-aged man with black hair staring down at me with a crooked smile on his lips.

"Let go of me," I demand, attempting to shrug him off. The audacity men have, pushing themselves onto women and then being hurt when they get rejected.

He keeps his hand firmly there when he opens his mouth to speak, "C'mon babygirl, I know somewhere quiet we can go," giving my hip a squeeze. Before I have the chance to reply, someone else does for me.

"Get the fuck off her," I hear Matt's voice quickly approaching from behind. The man drops his hand from my waist, and I swivel in my seat to see Matt grab the man by his collar.

"Don't ever lay another finger on her again unless you want to lose all ten," he says, speaking through his teeth.

Fuck. I'm glad he got the creep away, but now he's gonna take me away. How did he even find me so quick? There are a million clubs in La.

The weirdo scurried off somewhere, and Matt turned to look at me. His eyes rake my body, drinking in how my curves look in this tight black dress before his eyes meet mine again. I took a long look at his face, too. His hair was scruffy, and his beard was grown out. Fuck, why is he so hot?

"No wonder you have pigs like him throwing themselves at you, you're dressed like a slut," he says, nodding his head towards my dress.

"I'm not a slut," I say, standing from my chair, trying not to fall over. I'm trying to look as intimidating as possible, but it's difficult when I literally have to look up to make eye contact with him.

"I never said you was, I said you look like one," he says, knowing he caught me out. He then grabs the top of my arm, "Let's go, we're leaving,".

"What? No way. I'm not going anywhere. My friends are here," I say, pulling out from his grip.

"I don't give a fuck if the pope is here, we're leaving," he says grabbing my arm more harshly and dragging me through crowds of people all the way to the exit.

At the doors, I pull away from his grasp again and spin on my heels, attempting to go back inside until my feet are suddenly in the air. Matt lifts me up and tosses me over his shoulder with ease, pulling my dress down slightly so my ass isn't on show to everyone.

"MATT, PUT ME DOWN!" I say, banging my fists on his back and kicking my feet. But nothing works. He keeps walking down the street until we eventually stop, and he puts me down in front of his car.

"Get in the car," he says, looking me dead in the eye. I look back at him, pulling the strictest face I could conjure up.

"No." I refuse completely. He then opens the passenger car door and picks me up again, placing me inside the car and slamming the door shut. He walks around to his side and also enters.

"I can't believe I had to carry you away like a child," he scoffs, putting the keys into the car.

"I can't believe you ruined my night, AGAIN," I argue back, turning to face away from him. He then tells me to put my belt on, but I refuse once again. Maybe if I keep being difficult he'll let me go.

I then feel his hand squeeze my face as he pulls it to meet his, "put your fuckin' seat belt on and shut the fuck up," he says, letting go of my face and I bring my own hands to rub where he just let go. Ow.

I quickly fasten my seat belt, but I still have my back facing him. While he was driving, the car was silent, no talking and no music, just utter silence. The car was rocking me back and forth in a comforting way, making me slowly doze off, I rest my head on the window.

I'm woken up by the cold air of the night hitting my face. I don't even have time to open my eyes before I feel arms snake around my body and lift me up. I force my eyes open and I'm met with Matt's face just centimetres from mine. He's carrying me bridal style into his house.

"Why are we here? I don't want to be here. I want to go home," I mumble against his chest.

"Because I don't trust you to not choke on your own vomit and die," he says, walking through his house and making his way to his bedroom. He kicks the door open and gently sets me down onto his bed.

I watch him slink around the room, collecting a pair of sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt. He then makes his way back over to me.

"C'mere," he says, reaching for my foot. I watch him unbuckle my heels and slide them off my feet. He then grabs the sweatpants and bunches them up, allowing me to slide my legs into them. The warmth of the clothes was nice, almost enough to make me fall asleep again. He then reaches for the zipper of my dress.

"No, I'm not wearing a bra," I mumble again, pushing his hands away from me.

"So what? I'm just changing you into this shirt," he asks, moving to my zipper again.

"So you'll see my boobs you perv," I reply, moving his hands away again. He stands in front of me with an unimpressed look on his face.

"Really? It's nothing I haven't seen before, and anyway, I'm not looking," he says, attempting to reach my zipper for a third time. This time, I let him inch the zipper down my body, letting my dress fall from my body.

He quickly moves to put the shirt over my head and pull my arms through the holes of the shirt. He then picks up my dress and places it on his desk, moving back to me.

"Here...lay on your side," he says, placing me under the sheets and forcing my body onto its side. As he's about to walk off, I grab his sleeve.

"Thank you for taking care of me, Matt," I say, sinking into the soft mattress.

"Yeah, don't get used to it," he says. I let go of his sleeve, and he walked away. After a few minutes, I feel the bed next to me dip and a body slides under the covers with me. I'm moments away from surrendering to sleep but awake enough to feel Matt wrap his arms around me and pull me into his body.

I feel like I'm laying on a cloud, and the warmth of his body next to mine makes falling asleep so enticing. I know I'm going to regret everything tomorrow morning, but for now, I'm enjoying the feeling of his body wrapped in mine as I drift off to sleep.

★ ° . *　　°　.　°☆ 　. * ● ¸. 　　　★ 　° :. ★　 * •

a/n; this is sooo long, and i hate the fact that it consists of soo much dialogue, but we move. anywho, thanks for reading, love youu. 💙

[s-4pphics]

dial. 3 (e.w.)

wc;cw: 3.4K, fratadjacent!ellie, all ocs r black coded<3, angst😞, oc being an empath, self-esteem issues, mentions anxiety and panic attacks, ellie ain’t shit, alcohol, mentions of smoking

playlist :p

It’s been three days since you’ve heard from Ellie. 

She left you on read when you reached out the next morning after the party. You tried to get some information out of Dina on her whereabouts, but she shut you down, practically begging you to let you and Ellie’s disastrous relationship rest for your sake. Niah said that she was ready to jump at any moment, but you didn’t want her— or anyone else— in the middle of your conflict. You made a mistake looking to Ellie for approval and you had to deal with it. 

But there was some part of you that couldn’t let this go. You’ve been embarrassed by a good number of people in your lifetime, and you wanted nothing more than to crawl into the deepest hole imaginable and never come out whenever it happened, but you’re an adult now. So why is it hitting harder than ever before? 

You never understood why people were so put off by your personality. You always craved companionship and were so giving with your heart, but people just can’t… stand you, you’ve realized. A portion of your heart dies whenever you get blasted for being too much, but you can’t help how you feel. All you wanted to do was make people happy and keep them close, but you’ve only managed to scare them off. 

You talk a lot, and I don’t think you realize it. 

Are you always this… touchy?

Please. Just stop talking for a second. 

It comes off really annoying, not gonna lie. 

You’re really nice but… I dunno, you’re just a lot sometimes. Just ease up. 

You hated that your mom was wrong; kindness, in fact, doesn’t get you where you need to go. 

At least you have your aunt. And Niah. They both accept your clinginess with no grudges. 

You’ve kept your head down on campus, only going to the library to study and back to your dorm. You cut your usual Starbucks visits completely; Reading without caffeine was killing you, but it was better than seeing and hearing Ellie. Plus, you couldn’t shake the feeling that everybody was staring at you, waiting for you to fuck up so they could get a good laugh. 

It was the last day of finals, and you couldn’t wait to go the fuck home. You were sick of being on campus and your self-esteem was at an all-time low. You needed your auntie’s food for revival. 

You were desperate for an awfully long break. Hopefully something positive will come of it. 

“Take a break from paaacking. Come eat with me, please, I’m starving!”

Your eyes rolled at Niah’s incessant whines. She knew how tedious you were with your luggage; She couldn’t wait another five minutes? —

“I know you’re cussing me out in your head. Your thoughts are loud, remember that!” She squinted at you while kicking her feet like a child throwing a tantrum. 

You groaned and threw the sweatshirt you’d been folding back into the drawer. How the fuck did universities get away with giving students two days to pack all their essentials right after finals. As if you had any remaining brain cells to wash and fold your laundry. They’re going to hell, for sure!

“Whatchu wanna eat?” You stretched your arms over your head and stood from the floor.

Niah smirked at you, “Arby’s.” 

“… Go to hell— “

She laughed aloud, rolling on her back in her bed, “I wanna fuckin’ sandwich, bro! I dunno why.” 

“This is the worst pre-Christmas goodbye dinner we’ve ever had,” you stared at her blankly. 

“Bitch, we’ve only had two, stop,” she flipped you off, “Dee would support me, ask her to come.” 

You walked over to your desk to pull your phone off the charger, “If she says yes, I’m not going.” 

“Yes the fuck you ar— “

“Shut up, it’s ringing,” the dial tone blared in your ear before Dina answered with a blood curdling scream. You instantly put her on speaker phone. 

You and Niah looked at each other in concern before Dina calmly said, “Hi.” 

“Are you fucking okay? What the hell was that?” Niah shouted. 

“… I can’t be excited that the sem’s over?” 

“… Girl, I swear to god— “

You interrupted your best friend, “Wanna come to Arby’s with us, friend?” 

“…” 

You snickered at her silence and Niah screamed, “Fuck both of y’all! Arby’s is top tier— “

“… Is she fucking serious right now?” 

“Just come so I don’t have to suffer the meat alone,” you begged. 

She scoffed, “… I never thought your gay ass would say that— “ 

“Please just come with us!” 

“Okay! I’m not buying shit, though.” 

“You really think I’m about t’pay for my own meal?! Bring your wallet, suga mama!” Niah beckoned. 

And Dina hung up on you. This was the loudest you’ve laughed in days. 

“On a scale from one to ten: how much d’you hate yourself right now?” 

“Negative forty.” 

Niah was tearing up her curly fries and smokehouse brisket sandwich like no tomorrow. She looks happy; That's all that mattered, you suppose. 

Dina gave Niah her private time with her sandwich and laid her head on your shoulder, whispering, “How are you doing, hon?” 

You shrugged lightly, “I’m alright, I guess. I dunno. I’ll get over it at some point.” 

“You know I never wanted to see you upset over something like this. I’ve known her for so long and love her a lot but… she’s awful sometimes,” she nuzzled closer and your heart warmed. 

“I’ll be okay! I should’ve just listened when you told me,” She didn’t need to know how many times you’ve cried over this recurring situation. 

She sighed and let it go, kissing your clothed shoulder, “Jesse wanted to come but he said fuck arby’s.” 

“Y’all are gonna stop talkin’ shit about my fav— “

“ANYWAYS!” Dina spoke over Niah. “He said he wants his goodbye hug before we all head out tomorrow.” 

“He knows I’ll give him one! I gotta give him his notebook back anyway,” you peered down at her, “Did you know that he doodles you when he’s notetaking? I wanted to cry; they were so fucking cute!” 

She sat up to look at you, “No fucking way!” 

“Yes way!” Niah concurred, “He wants to get you preg— “

You kicked Niah under the table, and she exploded into a fit of giggles while Dina blushed and twiddled her thumbs. 

“… I’ll give him a baby, I guess,” she whispered sheepishly while her cheeks burned. 

You and Niah squealed in excitement. Seeing your friends happy and in love made your heart beam with joy. 

Finals were finally fucking over! 

This was, by far, the sloppiest you’ve ever packed for anything, but you couldn’t wait to see your auntie. You loved being around your friends every day, but you needed your personal schedule back. It’s been so long since you’ve had a self-care day! Your aunt already purchased foot baths and vanilla-scented exfoliant. 

You always get a little teary-eyed whenever you have to say goodbye to Niah even though you were only going to be separated for a month. Being apart from your favorite person is always a bit soul-crushing! 

You made sure she got on her train safely before powerwalking back to your dorm building. You quickly snatched your bag that held two of Jesse’s physics notebooks before catching the bus to his apartment building. You hoped you could catch him before you go to the airport; You still want a hug!

When you got to the front of his complex, you caught a glimpse of Abby hauling her luggage out of the door with an older couple. Probably her parents!

Since when did she live here? Why have you never seen her around? 

Too busy being a whore! 

You wanted to apologize for not reuniting with her at the party, but she most likely didn’t remember you. Everybody was lit, and she seemed eager to mingle—

Your racing thoughts were caught off at the light shout of your name. Abby sat her bags down to wave you over, and a large smile grew on your face. You scurried over to where she was and moved to shake her hand, but she gently pushed it away to pull you in for a hug. 

“You were really gonna greet me like a fucking grandma?” she laughed quietly in your ear. You shuddered; Even with her coat on, you could feel how strong she was! 

“Sorry! I, uh— “

“S’fine,” she pulled away, smiling just as brightly, her cheeks dusted red and snowflakes dusting her lashes, “Missed you at the party.”

You cringed inwardly, “I’m so sorry! I really didn’t mean to leave you like that; I got caught up with… Dina! With Dina— “

“Mhm,” Her eyes were moving over your face like water. “I was gonna— “

“Abby! Who’s this!” 

You gazed at the cheesing couple behind her before waving ecstatically at them. They seemed sweet with their joyous tones! And wealthy; You peeped her father’s Gucci puffer. Abby’s blush deepened and she sighed. 

“Aren’t you adorable! We’re Abby’s parents— “

You were pulled into warm hugs and given bright greetings while Abby awkwardly shuffled in the corner. You matched their vibrancy, introducing yourself with a genuine grin. You listened intensely while they bragged about Abby being on the Dean’s List two years in a row and how she was going to enroll in the honor roll program. 

But Abby had enough of the boasting, “You guys mind putting this in the car for me?” 

She gently pushed her carry-on into her dad’s arms, and they both departed with merry goodbyes. 

“Sorry, they’re so… yeah.” 

“No, oh my god, they seem so sweet!” 

She shook her head with a bashful grin. She looked so pretty in the snow. 

“I, um…” You started, putting yourself in the hot seat. “I’m really sorry about flaking at the party. I hope we’re… okay?” 

“More than okay,” Her tone quieted. “Just as long as you promise to spark with me next time?” 

Butterflies exploded in your chest and tummy. You promised to do so with glossy eyes. 

“Good,” she smirked before pointing towards her complex. “Needa be checked in?” 

“No, just buzzed, if you don’t mind? I’ll only be a couple minutes.” 

“Course, c’mon.” 

You tried to ignore the fluttering of your heart at Abby’s hand at the small of your back as you trailed through the snow. 

Abby ensured you got her number before seeing you onto the elevator. She made her leave with one last weighted gaze at your appearance. The small space was burning up with you in here! 

The second you stepped off the elevator, your ears were filled with booming voices from down the hall. The floor was quiet due to its decreased occupancy, so you could hear Dina’s screaming clearly. What the fuck is going on! 

You bustled down the pathway until you reached Jesse and Ellie’s front door, and you instantly regretted coming to return his belongings. 

“You’re being a fucking cunt, that’s why!” 

“I don’t give a fuck!” 

Ellie’s angered timbre made you pause at the entrance of their residence. You could’ve sworn she went home already. Why the hell were they fighting! 

“She literally did nothing wrong! Why the fuck did you even pursue her in the fucking first place! I told you how she is and now you’re acting surprised that her feelings are hurt!” 

The shaky breath you'd been holding left you with the last bit of your dignity. There was no way they were talking about you. 

“That’s not my fucking problem! I was clear about my intentions when we first started fucking just like everyone else. She has to deal with that shit on her own time, I’m not a fucking babysitter.” 

“It’s not about babysitting! It’s about being a decent human being! Maybe stop leading her on and making her seem like you— “

“I’m not making her seem like shit! She’s clingy as fuck on her own. She would’ve gotten attached regardless.” 

The more their argument pursued, the more upset you got. You didn’t realize how tight your fists were clenched until you felt your nails pierce the skin of your palms, but you hardly cared. Your heart was crumbling to pieces and the shards were slicing you open, and the pain overtook your sadness. And fury. You could almost hear your mother scolding about emotional control.

Your breaths got heavier the more you tried to steady them, tears jerking in your eyes while they went back and forth about you. 

You didn’t even have time to register how insane you must’ve looked standing at their front door crying before booking it down the hallway, frantically pressing the elevator button so you could get the fuck out of here. You tried to bring yourself back down on the ride to the first floor, but your techniques weren’t working. Your heaves were erratic and coarse, your lungs burning with each harsh exhale through your nose. 

The elevator door opened, and you left in a rush, pushing through all the exit doors of the building until you rushed into a larger frame. 

You could hear Jesse calling out your name, asking if you were all right and what happened, but you pushed him off you and bolted for the main entrance. You ignored the calls of his name and shoved the doors open, not even bothering to wait for the last bus pick-up. You need to get home now; Your flight wasn’t for another six hours, but you couldn’t stand to be here a second longer. 

The tears on your face frosted over as every ridicule from your past and present came crashing down on you on your way to the dorm. The mockery, the bullying, the lies from people you trusted.

No matter where you go, it all follows you like a shadow. 

You turned your phone off the second you arrived at the airport. 

Going through TSA was such a hassle; You were so disoriented that the security had begun to get suspicious and asked if you had anything to drink before you arrived. And people were staring. Does the humiliation ever stop!

You shut your phone off when you arrived, ignoring the multiple calls from Dina and Jesse, and sent one last message to your auntie about how you couldn’t wait to see her; Ellie even sent you one before your screen went dark. Fuck her apparent guilt; You swore to block her the second you touched down. 

You made yourself as comfortable as you could in the airport chairs since you were going to be here a while, and just cried. Your tears fell from the remaining wait hours until boarding. 

You calmed a bit when the plane took off, silently thanking your aunt for booking you a window seat. The clouds were always gorgeous during winter. 

You felt a little hand gently tap your forearm, and you turned to see a little boy holding a tissue in his hand for you. You cried harder and accepted, bumping your fist against his smaller one as a thank you. 

You didn’t sleep the entire plane ride home. 

You hugged your aunt like you hadn’t seen her in years. 

Shhh, it’s gonna be okay, baby. I promise. 

You sobbed into her shoulder the second she stepped out of her car and just held her. And she held you back. 

Until the fucking security complained about her blocking traffic. She gave your head dozens of kisses before grabbing your bags to throw into the back seat. 

You both scurried into the car and she pulled out driving onto the nearly empty road and parked her car. 

“Talk to me. What happened.” 

Your breaths were still trembling, but you made one request. 

“C-Can,” you cleared your throat when it cracked, “Can we reschedule our self-care day?” 

“Of course we can, baby. When do you wanna do it?” Her brows pulled down as she cooed. 

“W-When we get home?” 

Your aunt flew down the freeway like a bat out of hell. 

“I just don’t understand why this keeps happening to me,” you’re going to cry again. 

“People just fucking suck. There doesn’t have to be a reason.”

It was three in the morning, and you were still going on about everything that’s happened: how you met Ellie, what you two did over the past couple of weeks, how she talked about you behind your back. You watched your aunt’s hands as she filed your nails to perfection under the beaming lamp while you babysat your mimosa, recalling all the events that happened twelve hours ago. 

“Y’know,” she shook her head as she buffed your nails, “Your parents told me they were scared of this happening to you. You’re too fucking sweet for your own good.” 

“Because that’s how they raised me! They always wanted me to be the bigger person when something happens.” 

Hold your head high and turn the other cheek. All the benefits of that will come later, even if you don’t think they will. 

Your dad’s repeated mantra always made you feel lighter when you were young and needed comfort. But now, it’s starting to make you feel guilty because… frankly, you’re still fucking pissed. 

Your aunt paused her work to down the rest of her mimosa, shaking her head when she sat the glass down, her eyes boring into your soul. 

“I never wanna steer you in the wrong direction, but at some point, enough is enough. People have shit all over you for years, and you allowed it. Did you not confront them when it happened?” 

… You stayed silent. She sighed. 

You knew your aunt was insightful, but she was never this serious. You always enjoyed being around her because she was fun and allowed you an outlet: the cool aunt who didn’t have rules, but the burning look in her eyes confirmed that she meant every word. 

Everyone makes revenge seem negative, but to me… It got me and mom through a lot of shit. Maybe that’s why she never wanted you to think of it as a problem solver. 

You recall your aunt sneaking stories about how she and your mom used to jump bullies at school whenever you came home with tears in your eyes from people messing with you, but you never knew the extent of their retaliations. You remember being in disbelief envisioning your mom hurting somebody, even if they deserved it. 

“But you’re an adult… you can make your own decision— “

“What’d you have in mind?” 

Your aunt’s eyes met yours with an arched brow, the glasses on her face shifting with every twitch of her nose. You shocked yourself. 

The corner of her lips came up into a devilish smile. Her shoulders lifted in a cocky shrug. 

“I gotta couple.” 

You didn’t touch your phone until after the holidays. You and your aunt were having a ball, going shopping and sipping Moscato while you both schemed, and you didn’t want to disrupt the peace with negativity. 

When your screen came back to life, an influx of text and missed call notifications rushed through with alarm alerts. Most were from Niah and Dina begging you to return their calls, but you had one… one text from the only person you didn’t want to talk to. 

You made sure to answer Niah first. 

And then Dina. 

You took a deep before opening Ellie’s message and… what the fuck is this—

…

That’s the apology? 

She shouldn’t have said all that? Is she fucking serious? Everyone already knows that; She probably never gave a proper apology in her fucking life!

You finally, after years of being tormented and belittled, allowed anger to overtake the graciousness that your parents instilled ever since you were in second grade. Your fingers tapped the keyboard, expression turned in aggravation. 

The second you tried to block her, the text bubble popped up. 

You nearly snapped your device in two. 

The fucking audacity! Your fingers typed out words that you never even said aloud before you paused. 

Why the fuck are you wasting your time? She never cared about anything you had to say, anyway. She would ghost you for days, only reaching out to ask if she could smoke you out. You closed your conversation with her, and sparked one with someone who you knew would be of service. 

Your heart pounded in your chest when she answered. You suddenly couldn't wait to get back to campus.

hi yall omg

cant wait 2 write p4 LOOOOOL

squirting contest?

taggie waggies love yall down :3 @dyk3ang3l @iced-metal @sawaagyapong @kittnii @mariefilms @villainousbear @pick-me-up-im-scared @dragonasflowercrown @elsmissingfingers @bugaboodarling @freakumfilm @robinismywifee @ohitsjordynn @womenofarcane @inf3ct3dd @nil-eena @kaispaws @letsreadsomesins-shallwe @yuckyfucky @machetegirl109 @ximtiredx @mattm1964 @liabadoobee @tfuuka

teaser, 1, 2, four, five

[munson-blurbs]

Mailman!Eddie x Reader

Here she is, folks...the mailman!Eddie fic my weird lil brain conjured up. Big thanks to @eddiemunsonsmum for giving me the idea to turn this into an actual story.

Summary: Your mailman keeps delivering love letters to you. You're determined to find out who could be behind such a mean prank, but Eddie doesn't make it easy.

WC: 1.1k

--

If someone told you that you’d be waiting for the mailman to deliver a love letter from a secret admirer, you probably would have laughed in their face. If they told you that you’d be waiting to confront the mailman about these love letters, you would have dismissed the notion completely, perhaps with a slight flick of your middle finger.

And, yet, here you are.

“Morning!” Eddie chirps, holding out a stack of envelopes as he climbs the three stairs up your porch. His navy shorts hit right above his knees, leaving his lower legs and their dusting of brown curls exposed. He adjusts the mail sack so the weight is more evenly distributed across his back. You place your glass of iced tea on the snack table in front of you, wiping the condensation from your palms. He has a smile on his face, as he always does when he sees you, but it falters when he notices the frown on yours. “What’s going on? Something wrong?”

You bite back a scoff, taking the mail from his grasp. Sure enough, there’s another one, smack dab in the middle of bills and junk mail. “Yeah, something’s wrong,” you hold up the envelope, unable to mask your irritation. “You keep handing me these stupid notes, and I need to know who’s sending them.”

Eddie blanches, cheeks flushing a deeper pink that can’t solely be attributed to exposure to the summer sun. “Wh-I just deliver the mail,” he stammers, taking a small step back. “I don’t know who—” 

“Save it, Eddie,” you snap, feeling the heat of anger blooming in your cheeks. “There’s no return address; there’s no stamp. Which means that someone is giving you these to bring me, and it’s not funny anymore.”

“Funny?”

You sigh impatiently and roll your eyes at what must be feigned incompetence. “Look, it’s obviously a prank. Who’s going to send love letters to me?”

The hurt and anger in your voice catches him off-guard, and he nearly slips off of the step as he starts backwards. “I, um, I don’t know, okay? They’re just in the pile and I-I gotta finish my route.”

The remainder of Eddie’s shift is filled with him silently chastising himself. 

Way to go, Munson. You try doing something romantic and she thinks it’s a prank. Just tell her how you feel. Stop being a coward and ask her out already. She’s been nothing but nice to you, not like the rest of the people in this town. 

You’re not home in the afternoon again until the following Saturday, and you’re in the same position you were before: standing on the porch, anxiously awaiting the mail. Well, anxiously awaiting the mailman. You hadn’t received any of those fake love notes since you’d last spoken to Eddie, but you couldn’t stop thinking about them. Who would be so cruel to tease you like that? It was middle school behavior; something you’re far too old to be dealing with.

Eddie ducks his head as he hands you the mail, wanting nothing more but to hide behind the curtain of curls that he has to keep tied back on hot days like today. If he could just escape without having to–

“Are you gonna tell me who’s slipping you those notes now?”

Shit.

He peers up at you, barely able to make eye contact as shame settles into his cheeks. “No one’s slipping them to me,” he mumbles, tucking his lower lip between his teeth.

You throw your hands up in the air before resting them on your hips in complete exasperation. “Seriously?” you balk. “How many times do I–”

“No one’s slipping them to me because…” he pauses, massaging the back of his neck with trembling fingers. “...because I'm the one writing them.”

The information crushes you like a boulder on your chest. Eddie was behind the prank this whole time? Was this some sort of sick joke between him and his mail carrier buddies? “You?” you choke out, eyes stinging with tears. “Why would you do that? I thought we were friends, Eddie!”

“We are!” he tries to reassure you, but you shake your head in disbelief. Small towns always had an overabundance of small-minded people, but you’d never thought that Eddie was part of that group.

“Well, friends don’t screw with each other’s feelings and write fake love letters for entertainment.” You cringe at the way he’d probably seen your face alight with excitement the first few times you’d gotten a letter, thinking that maybe someone actually harbored romantic feelings for you. But when months went by with no prospects in sight, your outlook became increasingly cynical.

Eddie’s jaw drops at your accusation. “They’re not fake,” he tells you, keeping his tone soft but insistent. “I like you…a lot…but I was too afraid to admit it.” He exhales, grateful to have confessed his feelings but terrified to see your reaction. “I thought the letters would make you happy, but it looks like I royally fucked that up.”

His words ring in your ears. I like you…a lot. Eddie Munson likes you a lot. Likes you enough to write you letters about how he thinks you’re beautiful, that your smile brightens his whole day, that he could listen to you tell stories about damn near anything for hours on end and never get bored. The man with the chocolate-hued eyes who gave you butterflies every time he was in your vicinity–flutters that you’d tried your best to ignore, because how could someone so handsome and sweet ever be into someone like you?

You let your gaze lock onto his, though your vision is still a bit blurred from your earlier surge of emotion. “Almost royally fucked it up,” you gently correct him, taking a few steps forward to meet him where your walkway met the porch stairs.

Eddie barely chokes out a “Wha–” when you pull him closer by the strap of his mail bag, pressing your lips to his and kissing him like he’s only dreamt of being kissed. Your fingertips of your other hand tangle in the locks of hair that have already slipped from the ponytail; his land on the small of your back as though they’ve always resided there. You two melt into each other, only breaking apart when you realize that Eddie still has a job to do–one that doesn’t involve making out in front of your house.

You’re at work on Monday when Eddie delivers the mail, still thinking about the taste of your mouth on his. When he opens the mailbox to place the stack of envelopes inside, a bright yellow handmade card catches his eye. 

Two can play this love letter game. Picnic at Skull Rock after your shift?

--

[blessedwithabadomen]

in love with the mess - day fourteen

summary : Aubrey is going on tour and, for once, she's decided to focus on having as much fun as possible. Oli can be a little shit but he does nothing short of adore Audrey and... well, maybe Noah a little, too. Noah likes the flirting, as long as no one gets too close, emotionally. But what will happen when the three of them take it too far?

content : angst, fluff, overthinking, mentions of drinking, mentions of throwing up

length : 6k

tags (let me know if you want to be tagged!) : @veronicaphoenix @cookiesupplier @lma1986 @jilliemiw86 @bngurngheart @lacktoesandtoddlerants @narcissisticbehavior81 @flowery-mess @shilohrosechicken @justeli6 @starvingarsyn @floatinglikeaswan @blacksoul-27 @somebodyels3 @kageyasma @spikeisdaddy @broken0mens @sunsshinesunny

a/n : sorry about the delay!!! I'm going on holiday and it was all very stressful and hectic and then we had to figure out how to get to the airport tomorrow morning because the trains are suddenly not running lmao but here it is!!!

•••

day fourteen

“You… you told-”

Noah didn’t even manage to say it out loud. He didn’t need to. Oli and I were just as aware of the fucking blunder we’d just made. The one that might change everything now.

We should have told him earlier. We should have told him, period. Not risked letting him find out. We’d truly fucked up. Too wrapped up in our own happiness and love to really grasp the consequences. How ridiculously selfish of us.

The room had fallen awkwardly silent, or maybe the ringing in my ears was simply tuning out everything else. Either way, there were still people around us, people who had no business listening in to this, people who didn’t need to know anything about our situation. I wasn’t actually sure if anyone even cared - but all the people running around us were distracting at best. Oli seemed to think the same.

“My dressing room, now,” he simply said, no harshness in his order, yet none of us would have dared to decline.

No more words were exchanged as we made our way through the labyrinthine hallways of the arena. We didn’t touch each other, suddenly hyperaware of every single one of our movements, as if they would be watched and analysed and scrutinised. All of us kept our heads down as we passed by a multitude of people and the general vibe we were giving off seemed to do enough to keep everyone else away. We weren’t in the mood for small talk. Or any talk at all that didn’t include just the three of us.

Oli held the door open for us as we passed him, then shut it after he had entered himself. I’d never felt this out of place in my life. The chaotic, stuffed dressing room that had started to feel close to a second home, even if the actual location kept changing, now did nothing but suffocate me. All of us lingered in the middle of it. No one sat down. As if comfort wasn’t allowed.

“How long?” Noah’s voice seemed painfully loud in the quiet dressing room. The door shut out the noise from outside remarkably well.

“Two days ago,” Oli answered, as if it was no bother at all, as if this wasn’t potentially the most crucial conversation the three of us had ever had, but I could see it in his eyes, in the way he tried to hide his hands fumbling with nothing in particular. “I didn’t mean to say it, then. I mean, I love her, but it just tumbled out of my mouth, really.”

“We didn’t mean to keep it a secret from you,” I added. My whole body ached to reach out to Noah, but the fear of how badly the rejection would sting kept me frozen in place. “We meant to talk to you, there just… We didn’t know how or when. I know that’s the shittiest excuse ever. We should have made the right moment to tell you.”

“So what does that mean now,” Noah all but interrupted. His eyes were flicking back and forth between Oli and me, restless and nervous. He didn’t even seem to process any of the information we’d just told him, even if his brain was probably going a hundred miles an hour. “You two are… a thing. And you still fucked me this morning. Why?”

It was my turn to be stunned. Did he really not know? Was he so completely unaware? Or was he simply trying to shield himself, ignore everything that had happened between the three of us in the past two weeks? Because in my mind, there was no way he didn’t know that this was more than just the three of us fucking around. Or me and Oli getting together. In all the ways that we had complicated and confused this whole thing, it had always been about the three of us. Surely.

“Because we love you, you fucking idiot!”

The outburst pierced the silence painfully but it wasn’t until Noah and Oli both stared at me in shock that the realisation dawned that it had been my outburst. I was the one shouting these words. But as soon as it sunk in, I knew I wasn’t done. Some invisible dam had burst - I was going to speak my mind and I was going to speak it now. No more holding back for the sake of others or blindly agreeing for fear of rejection or letting anyone else take the lead.

“This wasn’t just some weird ploy to get Oli and me together and you get stranded on the sidelines. This has been about the three of us from the start and you know it. So what if Oli and I got there first. I’ve been ready to shout about my feelings for you from the rooftops for days now, Noah. But I didn’t. Because I knew it would scare you away. And I was desperate, Noah, desperate for that not to happen.”

I took a breath, trying to keep a hold of myself, trying not to unravel. I willed the tears in my eyes to disappear but all that happened was that one escaped me and dramatically slid down my face. Noah, somehow, was the first one to react, wiping it away so softly that another immediately followed.

“Every time Oli and I are alone, it feels like a part of us is missing. Like the bed is too big, even when it really isn’t. Or there’s a remark hanging in the room that you would make but you’re not there to say it. I don’t want to do this without you. I want you. I don’t know how this is going to work and I don’t really care because I know we’ll figure it out. I’m in love with you, Noah.”

I couldn’t deal with the way he was looking at me. Especially because I, for once, felt so completely, wholly unable to analyse it at all. Was it pity? Oncoming rejection? Insecurity? Love? I could only hope for the latter, but my emotions were running amok in my body and there was no certainty in anything anymore. In anything but the fact that I was so in love.

Noah was still standing in front of me, but his hand wasn’t on my face anymore and I missed it dearly. All I wanted was to throw myself into his arms and beg him to give the three of us a chance. But this was on him, and him alone.

“She’s right, you know?” Oli piped up next to me. He was much braver than me, pulling Noah close, putting his hand to the other man’s neck and letting their foreheads rest against each other. “We’re not complete without you. I… Noah, I’m in love with you. And, fuck, I never thought I’d say that to a man, but here we are.”

He kissed Noah then, deeply and passionately. It was all he could do. I only hoped it would be enough.

“We don’t want to rush you, Noah. But that’s where we’re at and I… I would hate for this tour to be over with unspoken things lingering between us. So, I don’t know, take some time, talk to us or don’t if you need to be by yourself, whatever you need. But, please, think about it. About us. It’s the only thing I’m asking you for.”

Noah nodded, keeping his head hanging low and staring at the ground now that Oli wasn’t holding him up anymore. I let my hand drift to his jaw, making him look at me. I simply needed to press a kiss to his mouth. The chances that I might not get to do it again were too high.

He felt sweet against me, reciprocating the kiss with a familiarity I had grown so accustomed to. But he didn’t initiate anything else. I let go of him and stepped back.

“I’ll give you an answer. Tonight. I promise.”

Believing in him was all Oli and I could do.

•••

It felt wrong to sleep alone. If I’d already been lamenting the fact that Noah was missing when it was just Oli and me, I’d completely forgotten just how awful it would feel to have neither of them next to me in bed. The cold was seeping into my bones, one that couldn’t be fixed with any number of blankets or heating in the room. I missed feeling their bodies around me, feeling the mattress move every time they shuffled. Missed their hands on me, their chests pressed against my own and my back. Their slowing breathing filling the room with the slightest noises that had me drifting off to sleep so easily. Now I was too cold and the room was too quiet and my brain was too loud.

We had tried to be reasonable about it, really. We’d gotten a ride back to the hotel together and while I tried to savour every moment with them, it had been the most awkward situation we’d managed to find ourselves in just yet. When we had lingered in the hotel hallway, unsure of how to proceed from here, Noah had said that he needed some time to think, alone, and that it would probably be for the best if he just went back to his room with Jolly. We’d bid him goodnight, not attempting to kiss or hug him or initiate any other physical contact, and he’d ended up waving before walking down the corridor. Like a stranger.

Then it had just been Oli and me, again. I’d made him hold me, for a while, needing the closeness and the reassurance that we could somehow be fine whatever happened now, but we didn’t talk. Only to agree that we should sleep separately for once. It simply felt… wrong to allow ourselves to spend the night in an attempt at what would hopefully become a steady relationship when Noah was still struggling and confused and neither part of it nor outside of it. Plus, I knew fully well that we would end up talking the whole night, not getting a wink of sleep and instead stressing ourselves out even further.

Not that I was getting much rest on my own now.

Picking up my phone, I once again, for what felt like the seventieth time that night, opened our group chat. There wasn’t very much in there to be honest. Most of the time, it was easy enough to locate each other in the venues or their rooms. And if I was looking for someone specific, I usually ended up texting just that person. The other one was probably with one of us already anyway.

Still.

My fingers hovered over the screen. And then they typed, before I could stop them. I clicked the sent button as soon as the last letter had appeared. Just to make sure I wouldn’t back out again. Then I chucked the phone as far away from me as I could while still being able to hear my alarm in a few hours and turned around, hoping for sleep to come, hoping for my brain to give me some peace for at least a while. Hoping those two men would feel the same way I did when they read my message.

I miss you already.

•••

I ended up running late which was something that rarely happened and tended to be in my top ten most stressful situations in life. I had been so preoccupied with leaving on time or at least not too late to make my flight to Dublin that I didn’t even remember to check my messages until I was in the car to the airport.

Noah Can we talk tonight? The guys want to go out but maybe after?

There was about an hour of nothing in the chat, I presumed Oli was asleep or simply not checking his phone at that time, before another message from him came through.

Noah I miss you too Both

Then silence, again, for a few hours. Oli had apparently gotten up earlier than I had and, somehow, had been more organised. Or at least enough to text.

Oli Think everyone’s keen on going out tonight We can meet up at the hotel afterward? My room? Please don’t make me stay on my own again, I couldn’t even get any rest without you (Aubrey) clinging to my shirt until it almost choked me and you (Noah) terrifying me with your sleep talking in the middle of the night

I wasn’t going to cry in the cab. Even if I did end up clutching the phone to my heart as if it physically held the people I loved and not just the messages they had left. Maybe it was going to be alright after all. Maybe we could make this work. Maybe, even tonight already, we would be right where we were supposed to be - next to each other.

I didn’t get a chance to reply as the driver pulled up to the airport. But I would get to talk to them later tonight, at the very latest. And that made my heart that little bit lighter.

•••

“I’ll let you know that I was only slightly panicked about you missing the flight,” Becky said as I reached my gates, mere moments before boarding was about to start. I huffed at her, pretending it was because I was shocked at how little faith she had in me, not because I was legitimately out of breath.

“Which would have been annoying but not the end of the world, pretty sure there's more fights from here to Dublin than just this one today.”

“Not if they all get cancelled because of the storm.”

I felt the blood drain from my face. “Storm?”

“Yeah, it's pretty windy already so it's not clear whether later flights will go ahead. Wait, you don't look too well - are you- are you afraid of flying?”

“I'm afraid of turbulences,” I admitted.

“Well, then,” Becky said, reaching into her bag as she ushered me towards the counter where they'd just started boarding. “Here's to hoping your surprises will keep you occupied!”

“Wait- plural?”

She didn’t feel the need to answer me as she instead pushed me forward to get my ticket checked and then ushered down the way toward the plane. I was already on the aircraft when she caught up with me, briefly waiting as I took my assigned seat in the middle, which was only bearable because the window seat was taken by Noah. He sent me a tired smile, making me wonder how much rest he’d gotten during the night, as I slid into the row.

“Have fun!” Becky squealed, putting a folder in my hands and vanishing down the aisle of the plan before I could stop her. I briefly looked from the now vacant spot to the folder to Noah, who had a small but knowing smile on his face.

I quickly stored my luggage and got comfortable - as comfortable as possible on a flight - and only got briefly interrupted when Oli walked down the aisle next to me, throwing a kiss in my direction the way he had done the night before, then throwing another to Noah, who accepted it with the blush I had grown to love so much on his cheeks.

“Do you know what this is about?” I asked as more and more people filled up the plane, boarding finally finishing and the crew getting ready for takeoff.

“Maybe,” he chuckled, giving me one more look that I couldn’t quite get a grasp on, then busying himself in the comic in his hands, one I recognised he’d bought on our trip to Forbidden Planet a while ago.

Realising I wasn’t going to get any more information out of him, I decided I might as well try to preoccupy myself with figuring out what exactly Becky had given me during take off. It was the worst part of the flight anyway. Well, minus the landing. And any turbulences.

However, there simply had to be one more interruption.

“Is this seat taken?”

Confused, I looked up from the folder, already questioning what sense that question could possibly make on a fight with assigned seating, when my eyes spotted-

“Lia!”

I tried to jump up but the seatbelt I'd already buckled painfully pulled me back. Noah quickly reached over to undo it as I stood up, folder almost crashing to the floor, my arms wrapping around my best friend as if I hadn't seen her for years. It felt like it.

A stern look from one of the flight attendants had us sit down immediately, getting settled and ready for take off.

“What are you doing here? I don't understand!”

“Did you know Becky is super nice and also definitely able to bully people into giving her my number and telling me to get my ass here?”

“Wait, so-”

“Well, apparently Oli requested my presence too,” she continued, completely unfazed by my questions, “and we both know he's asking for you and not because he loves me so much. Also the hotel had a free room for the next two nights, how handy, right? So here I am, taking you out drinking tonight and trying to punch some sense into all of you guys. Hi, Noah!”

Noah waved awkwardly and then handed me back the folder I had almost forgotten about. He just have caught up when I'd almost dropped it.

“Have you read it yet?” Lia asked, almost jumping in her seat. I shook my head and then buried it in the papers in front of me.

Nothing made sense.

I skimmed through the pages, then back to the first one, as if it might just have been my English skills inexplicably leaving me, but no. I was seeing - and reading - correctly. With a frown so tight it almost hurt the skin on my forehead, I read through the contents, properly now, absorbing every word.

I wasn’t sure how long I took, flipping through the pages, back and forth, just to make sure I was reading correctly, that I wasn’t hallucinating these words, that this was for real.

“This- I mean… I-”

“You're getting an apprenticeship, Aubrey!” Lia shouted so loudly that someone from the row in front of us turned around with a frown. “Becky asked the company she works for and they're offering it to you. Said that the past two days were basically your try-outs. You're gonna be a sound technician! Well, if you accept, of course.”

“Oh my god,” I mumbled, flipping through the pages again, and again. This whole thing felt like a fever dream I was not ready to wake up from. “And in a few days I would-”

“Come on tour with us and shadow Becky,” Noah completed my sentence. “Not the most conventional way to start learning the basics, but when have any of us ever been. Conventional, that is.”

I didn't have time to think about the implications of his words or how they could translate to a completely different issue too. All I could do was put a hand over my mouth in shock and cease to fight against the tears that were starting to spill down my cheeks in abundance. Both Noah and Becky hugged me as much as they possibly could with all of us stuck in our seats. Even the turbulence couldn't faze me anymore.

Life might actually be looking up.

•••

If there was one thing Lia knew how to do, it was how to keep me occupied and distracted. We spent most of the day chatting, which included a lot of me rambling about my chaotic love life - I only cried once - and her fawning over her wife and how she needed a change of occupation too. On top of that, we decided to have lunch at the hotel restaurant, where we promptly bumped into Becky, who allowed me to ask all the questions about the internship offered and then almost bowled me over in my chair when I asked the waiter for a pen to sign the contract straight away.

Since all of us had the night off, we ended up agreeing over several different group chats to go out big style - crew, Bad Omens, Bring Me The Horizon, well, and Lia. Even though she had a room of her own, she’d practically gathered half her suitcase and made a home in mine as we got ready together.

Yet, all she seemed to do was veto every outfit I showed her until we finally landed on an oversized pullover I used as a dress (just about sexy enough for her, comfortable enough for me, who wasn’t actually looking to attract anyone new that evening) and a pair of fishnet tights that would do nothing at all to protect me from the January cold but would hopefully look less out of place once we were inside again.

“So, what’s the plan with Noah, then?” Lia asked as she dropped down on my bed, spilling some of the setting powder in her hand and then trying to rub it into the duvet as if I hadn’t seen. “Because all I see right now is you and Oli sitting around waiting.”

“What else is there to do?” I sighed. I genuinely felt at a loss. We’d put the ball in his court. We’d told him how we felt. We left the decision up to him. But would all of that be enough?

“What’s the biggest issue right now? Like, what’s his fears?”

“Probably that Oli and I have a stronger connection with each other than either of us has with him. That we already know each other so well that he’ll be the one left out.”

“Sounds like you guys need more time together. The three of you. Completely ignoring what you and Oli might know about each other from before and just focus on finding yourselves in this relationship now.”

The silence lingered for a moment as both of us got lost in our thoughts, the mascara I was in the middle of applying now forgotten in my hand. I stared at myself in the mirror, made up and dressed up, and wondered who I was. Someone in love. Someone who was willing to fight for it. I was so over being passive.

“What can I do?”

“Well, first of all, put mascara on the other eye too because you look very asymmetrical.”

I rolled my eyes but did as she said, knowing that if I got too carried away, I’d completely forget about the rest of my makeup anyway.

“Give yourselves more time?” Lia offered.

“Tour ends tomorrow,” I thought out loud. “The Bad Omens tour isn’t until the 27th and the flight to Berlin is on the 26th. Now, I know Oli is completely free the next few days and I can ask around again but I’m pretty sure Noah has a break until then as well.”

Lia simply let out a hum in the background of my monologue, just to let me know she was still listening as I started scrolling through my phone, typing and searching.

“Fuck it,” I decided. “I’m booking us a family room for the next few days after tour. Nice hotel, just outside of Dublin. No distractions, no one else we know around us, no shows, no appointments, nothing. Just the three of us. There. Booked. Do you think the hotel can print something for me?”

Lia looked at me like a proud parent which was unnerving at best but I ignored it.

“I’m sure Oli would love to go and ask with you,” she grinned as I pulled on my shoes and was already halfway out the door, jacket and bag at the ready.

“Meet you downstairs in a few?”

“Will do! Don’t get distracted by Oli’s dick!”

•••

“What if he doesn’t even notice?”

“Of course he’ll fucking notice.”

“You don’t know that! He might not look this way and then just stumble over it!”

“What if we knock?”

“But we’re supposed to drop it off without him seeing!”

“Fine. I’ll knock and we’ll run and hide around the corner.”

“What are we, five?”

“Yes. I’m knocking now.”

I quickly dropped the printed paper along with the post-it stuck on top to the floor as Oli all but pounded on Noah’s hotel room door before bolting down the hallway with me and stopping just around the corner, pulling each other to safety and then peeking around just as we saw him step out, confused. We stayed hidden until we heard the door fall back into its lock and then spared another glance to make sure he had picked up our notes.

“You think he’s going to do it? Come with us for another few days?”

“Well, a luxurious hotel and both of us, he’d be stupid to refuse,” Oli chuckled, but I could tell the anxiety weighed on him just as heavily. There wasn’t much more to do, really. We’d told him about our feelings. We wanted to spend the small break that all of us had together, no distractions, just getting to know each other better and figuring out how this could work. It was truly his turn now.

“Come on, stop worrying that pretty head of yours so much,” Oli said, pressing a kiss to it. “Let��s get Lia and see what Dublin has to offer, yeah?”

I simply let myself fall into his arms a little as he led us toward the lifts, ready to forget about the ache in my heart just for a while.

•••

The night ended up not being all that wild, after all. Everyone was feeling the exhaustion from the past two weeks on tour. It didn’t mean that the pub we had all gathered it wasn’t in danger of running out of spirits, though. The mood was high and the volume in the room seemed to be getting louder by the minute. I’d already saved various people from Lia various times because if someone didn’t know how to shut her mouth when intoxicated, it was her. I’d currently lost track of her once again which was slightly worrying, but the more drinks Becky was providing me with, the less I cared. Her husband wasn’t back company either, although he seemed ever so slightly overwhelmed with the rowdy crowd around us.

“Are you excited to go on the Bad Omens tour then?” He asked, an arm around Becky, who was currently distracted by someone else who was telling her about some sound system or other, and I only briefly let myself fall into the yearning of having that kind of stable relationship, the kind of love that people would see from miles away without any of us doing anything, the kind of connection that shone through even when we weren’t talking.

“Did everyone but me know about this?”

“Well, yes,” he laughed. “As far as I know it was a joint venture, Becky, Lia, Oli and Noah all huddled together to make this happen. I guess you’re very loved.”

“God, don’t make me sappy now,” I chuckled but it was nothing but an attempt to keep the tears at bay. I’d been crying entirely too much lately, for a number of reasons, and I was getting a little tired of it.

I excused myself momentarily, citing a bathroom break, but found myself standing outside the pub instead. The cold air sent shivers up and down my body, but I didn’t mind all that much. It was a nice reminder that I wasn’t only in my head. That I was here right now. I flinched when a hand landed on my waist, a gesture so strangely intimate I knew it to be Noah before I registered anything else.

“So you two really want to spend more time with me alone after this tour?” he asked, jokingly, but he couldn’t fool me. I could see the insecurity in his eyes, in the way he stood, in the way his hand lingered on my body without quite grabbing it.

“Noah, love, I’ll always want to spend more time with you.” My hand was on his chest now, hard and lean under my fingertips, and it took all the strength I possessed not to pull him in and kiss him stupid. “If your tour wasn’t coming up so soon after, I’d probably have booked us in for a month.”

His fingers ildly played with the fabric of my makeshift dress. “Maybe-”

The door from the pub banged open with more force than it should have been able to. A rather tipsy Lia stumbled out, obnoxiously pointing at Noah as she came over.

“You! Folio threw up on the bar and they’re kicking him out and I’ve been told you’re the one to bother. He needs to get back to the hotel and you guys are sharing right? Come on. I’ll help.”

Noah sighed, deeply, but looked at me once more before turning away. “Can we talk later? The three of us? Not in my room though, for obvious reasons.”

“Sure,” I chuckled. “Oli’s room later? We can shoot you a text.”

“Perfect,” he said and then he bent down and pressed a soft kiss to my lips and I could really believe this was going to work out.

•••

The night was dying down earlier than I would have expected, but both Oli and Mat kept loudly complaining that they were not 25 anymore after all. I bit back a comment about how that luckily hadn’t impacted Oli’s performance in bed. As more and more people started leaving, Oli clung to me, leaning his body on me with much more force than necessary, then giggling at the way I almost buckled under his weight. He was a little tipsy, just on the verge of it, and it made him all kinds of needy and whiny. Although I wasn’t quite sure if that was actually down to the alcohol or if he was simply in a mood.

“I want Noah,” he mumbled into my ear as he rested his head on my shoulder. It seemed horribly uncomfortable with the height difference, but I patted his hair in what I hoped would be a calming and reassuring gesture anyway. “I miss Noah.”

“I know, baby,” I cooed. “Do you want to go back to the hotel? I can shoot him a text.”

“Please.”

The cold outside seemed to wake and sober him up considerably as we got into a cab to get back to the hotel. He immediately pulled me into the middle seat, claiming the distance was simply unacceptable.

“Thank you for helping with the job situation, by the way,” I whispered, as if it was a secret, just for the two of us. “The job, offering me a place to stay, getting me on this tour in the first place… I really don’t know how to ever thank you for everything you do for me, Oli.”

He grabbed my face then, gently, so I would look at him. Then he kissed me so deeply that I was getting lightheaded, all sensations swimming through my brain in one big mush as I allowed myself to drown in them, knowing he was holding me and keeping me safe.

“You could keep on loving me, that’s all I’ll ever ask for.”

“Well, that’s going to be very easy,” I giggled, pressing a kiss to his nose right as the driver announced our arrival.

The hotel was quiet as soon as we left the reception area. I wondered if Noah was still busy taking care of Folio. If I should text him immediately and ask him to come over. If he wanted to talk to us yet. My train of thought was interrupted when we arrived on our floor and none other than Lia left Noah and Folio’s room, quickly running over to us as I shushed her for being too loud in her heels.

“He’s finally stopped puking,” she gleefully announced. “I’m off to bed now. Noah… Well, get to your room. He’ll get in touch?”

“He’ll- what?” I asked, but Lia was already bouncing down the hallway again, refusing to stop for clarification. Oli simply shrugged his shoulders as he unlocked the door and held it open for me.

It only took a few moments.

The knock wasn’t as much as a surprise, considering we were basically waiting for Noah, but the fact that no one was there when we opened it felt a bit comical. Especially when we realised a folded up piece of paper was on the floor in front of us.

“This feels like payback,” Oli laughed breathlessly, quite obviously just as nervous about this as I was. I refused to let the overthinking get the better of me though as I bent down to pick it up and unfolded it while Oli closed the door again. When I saw the amount of text, I ushered him in the direction of the bed so we could sit on the edge and read it together. He had to help hold onto it so we could still be make out the words amid my shaking.

Aubrey, Oli, my loves.

I’ve spent the last day doing very little else but think about everything. I’ve been trying to find a winner in the war that kept waging in my head but it seemed impossible.

Well, Lia didn’t allow that. She’s quite a force, isn’t she? As soon as Folio was in bed, she basically held me at gunpoint (figuratively) while she told me what she thought about the situation and how much of a “fucking useless idiot” I was being. Then she made me write a pro and contra list on the back of this page because apparently that’s what she does when she can’t make a decision. I’m not sure if buying a new phone quite compares to this, but I humoured her. And I think it helped. Just don’t tell her that.

Noah

There was a slightly messed up heart drawn next to it. The hope was rising up in my throat like bile, threatening to make me throw up just from the sheer terror and excitement about what was happening. We were so close to an answer. This was the moment.

Oli nodded at me to turn the paper over as soon as he was also done reading. He looked white as a sheet and I was sure my own face mirrored it. My shaky fingers only got worse when I flipped the page over.

There was indeed a list in front of us. Lots of entries on the “pro” side. Ranging from “They make me laugh” to “I feel safe with them” and “They know I’m scared and they don’t mind”. The contra side was shorter, but still held a few bulletpoints. “The distance”, “Third wheel” and “How to make this work??” were scribbled there.

But none of that was the important part.

The important part was that the list had been crossed out, liberally, with a massive “x” over the whole page, making it a little harder to read some of the points. And in the middle of it, almost from one corner to the other, covering even more words, he had written one single sentence. One sentence that seemed to count more than all the others. That made everything else not matter. That made clear that he had come to a decision.

I AM IN LOVE WITH THEM.

[sp0o0kylights]

Part One: Merry Crisis 

It’s also on A03 (this chapter will go up too but not for a bit bc I have stupid adult work to do) 

Five days after New Years and Steve Harrington was haunting Eddie’s head.

This time at least, it was consensual. 

Mostly. 

“I thought you said New Year's resolutions were a total waste of time and a conformist’s mmrrph--” Gareth cuts off as a ringed hand claps (gently) over his mouth, Eddie’s glare burning a hole in the side of his best friend’s head. 

“No one asked you to comment.” Eddie informs him darkly.  

“He’s got you there, Eds.” Jeff teases, seated on a bin in Gareth’s garage, friends occupying the couch across from him. “It is one of your yearly rants.” 

“New Years Resolutions are just a convenient way for normies to understand my quests.” Eddie sniffs, ignoring the fact that he’d been going on about this since he showed up, several hours ago.    

 He releases Gareth’s mouth, springing up to pace another circuit round the garage. “I refuse to repeat another year in this god-awful high school--and!” 

Spinning on his heels, Eddie flings a hand in the air, the exact same way he had when he auditioned for Sherlock Holmes in Hawkin High’s performance of Hounds of Baskerville. “It is my duty as Hellfire’s DM to figure out what the hell those freshmen are wrapped up in with Harrington!” 

“Rii-iiight.” Gareth remarks. “I’m sure your obsession with this has nothing to do with those, what did you call them?”

Grant covers a laugh with a cough as Gareth pretends to think before saying: “Harrington’s big ol’ puppy dog eyes?”

Eddie’s face goes red. “I told you, I’m not crushing on Steve!” 

“Bro.” Grant says, expression calling out Eddie’s lie better than words ever could. 

“The entire planet knows you have a crush on him, Eds.” Gareth adds, leveling his best friend with a knowing look. “Frankly I’m amazed Steve himself hasn’t figured it out.”

“Shut it!” Eddie hissed, face aflame. “This is about everything else!  What he’s hiding! Why the kids--”

“--worship him.” Jeff, Grant and Gareth all finish as one, their impromptu chorus deflating Eddie like a sad balloon.

“We know.” Grant says. “You think Harrington and the kids are wrapped up in some kind of crazy conspiracy that's eating them all alive and because you have a compulsive desire to solve every mystery put in front of you, you can’t leave it alone. This is starting to become something you should really like, work on man.” 

Eddie turns his glare on Grant. 

“You need to drop out of that AP psychology class.” He demands with another sniff. “It’s rotting your brain.”

“Uh huh.” Grant says, voice dripping in sarcasm. 

“You;’ll see.” Eddie mutters as he resumes his pacing. “You’ll all see when I finally figure it out. You’ll be all,” Eddie straightens, clutching his hands together and squeezing them against his chest, “Oh-my-gawd, Eddie, holy shit, you were so right, they were hiding a huge secret!” 

“Keep dreamin’ bud.” Jeff says flatly, prompting laughs from Gareth and Grant.

Eddie takes off a shoe and throws it at him. 

(Jeff swears it was worth it.) 

xXx

10 days after New Years and Steve Harrington was right there.

Right.

There.

It would be easy to walk across the parking lot, strike up a conversation. Hell, the kids' presence makes it even easier, Eddie knows all he has to do is talk about them before Steve drives them home. 

He just--has to do it. 

"You do know the first step is actually talking to him right?" Jeff teases, leaning against the school’s doorway.

Eddie startles, flushing scarlet. 

"Shut up!" He snaps, turning around to run his hand over his face.

 God why was this so hard!? 

He's talked to plenty of people. Hell, he's talked to Harrington before. Talking was the thing  Eddie arguably did best and suddenly he just fucking…couldn't!? 

"He's waving at you." Jeff observes. 

Eddie whips back around to face the parking lot--to find that Harrington wasn't even facing their direction.

Jeff chuckles. 

"Oh screw you!" Eddie shoves  his shoulder into Jeff’s, glowering. 

Jeff playfully nudges him back. "Just go talk to him man. He didn't bite at the party, and he left you that note, so he's clearly open to it." 

"I know.” Eddie grumbles, moving so he could lean against the opposite side of the doorway. 

“So what’s holding you back?” Jeff turns to look at him now, as Eddie tangles a finger into a few strands of his hair. “It’s not like you hesitate instead of jumping into something head first.” 

Eddie hides in his hair for a moment, unsure of how he wanted to handle this question.

Jeff knew he was gay. All the Corroded Coffin guy’s knew he was gay, after the first (and last) time he tried to buy product from a supplier that wasn’t Rick. 

(Eddie was smart, but he’d been young back then. Hadn’t caught on to the fact the weed he’d been sold was laced with who-knew-what. 

What he did know was that when he and the boys tried it out; Grant had given a very emotional speech about love and acceptance, Jeff wouldn’t stop hugging people, Gareth ended up crying over gender issues and Eddie had admitted he was flamingly gay. 

He never bought from another supplier again, even if he did technically owe the guy who’d brought him and his best friends closer together.) 

Being gay wasn’t exactly the issue.

It was being gay, and having a blatant crush on Steve--the guy who the Hellfire kids loved. The guy who had surprised Eddie by being decent and downright fun. 

The guy who kept insisting he and Buckley were “Platonic with a Capital P”and even with Robin climbing all over him like a lemur, he had in fact kept his hands and eyes to perfectly respectable places. 

Who was practically built to appeal to Eddie, between his stupid sexy smile and the weird mystery he was wrapped up in, the same one that caused his smiles to drop the second he knew no one was paying attention. 

Add in the fact he’d played D&D once before and it was like God had made Eddie’s perfect match.

Of course because Eddie’s relationship with a deity of any kind was agonistic at best, they’d made Steve not only the straightest man to ever rule a high school, but also dangled him in front of Eddie constantly. 

Like a treat he could never, ever have, but will always crave. 

“Oh he’s actually waving at you this time.” Jeff says, and despite the high chance of this being another joke, Eddie looks anyway. 

Sure enough there was Harrington, dumb little grin on his face, waving his hand.

Eddie managed to get his brain to function long enough to wave back. 

“Wow Eds, you actually waved at him. That’s a lot of progress for you.” Gareth chimes in, appearing in between his friends with a smirk. 

“We’re proud of you buddy.” Grant adds, standing behind Gareth. 

Eddie groans aloud. “I hate you all.” He mutters, trying to keep a smile on his face for Steve until the guy turns back to herald the children into the car.

“No you don’t.” Gareth sing-songs, to the snickers of Jeff and Grant. 

And no, he doesn't--but fuck if Eddie didn’t want to wring all their necks. 

xXx

January 13th, Eddie finally gets his first resolution breakthrough.

It came in the form of Sinclair’s girlfriend, oddly enough, but he wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth. 

“I’m not Lucas’s girlfriend.” The redhead spat, which Eddie thought was a hell of a lot of anger for someone who he had not been formally introduced to but had flung herself into his passenger seat anyway, with a declaration that he would drive her home. 

(He, of course, had been about to protest until Max reminded him with a glare that they were neighbors--which had the effect of making Steve look relieved, like Eddie was doing him some kind of massive favor.

A favor Eddie wanted.

“For totally normal non crush related reasons Gareth, god!”) 

Currently Max is staring out the window as Eddie drives home, arms crossed and in a full sulk.

Eddie recognizes it in her the same way he recognizes it in himself, and knows intimately that he has a chance to be to her, what Wayne was to him.

Someone who didn’t just see the problems he had, but acted on them. 

That began with a conversation. 

“So not that sitting in awkward silence isn’t totally fun, but uh, why am I driving you home instead of Harrington?” Eddie asks, watching Max out of the corners of his eyes. 

She doesn’t even flinch. “What, and miss the chance to ride in the drug mobile?” 

He expects the snappish response but has to give Max credit--she is absolutely the most vicious of Steve’s kids. 

“Ok fair,” He says, because getting angry back was what she wanted. Or at least, what Eddie wanted, back when he was in Max’s shoes. “But don’t all you kids like, worship King Steve? Thought you’d want your beloved babysitting to drive you home..” 

Max’s shoulders hunch immediately, her jaw clenching. “Don’t call him that.”

“Babysitter?” Eddie questions. 

“King Steve, you ass.” She bites back. “If you like him like Lucas and Dustin swear you do, then you wouldn’t be an dick.”  

Quieter, she mutters, “He hates that nickname.” 

“Hate to break it to you, but Steve gave himself that nickname.” Eddie says, if only to buy time while he swallows the fact that the kids have decided he and Steve aren't just cool with each other, but like each other.

Obviously not like-like, as in romantic like, because they weren't psychic, but--

'Focus, idiot! Max is still talking!' 

Max rolls her eyes, huffing angrily as she finally tears her gaze away from the window. “You don’t get it.” 

“I sure as shit don’t and won’t.” Eddie agrees easily, and has to look away to keep the laughter off his face at the confused look it nets him. “Not unless you want to clue me in.” 

She chews over that for a moment, before apparently coming to a decision. “You’re annoying.” 

“Oh come on Red, if you’re gonna insult me at least do it right. Annoying is boring.” Eddie fakes a yawn, and this time does laugh at Max’s outright offended face. 

Thankfully, the antics get him exactly what he wants. 

An answer. 

"Steve saw the real world and decided he wanted to be a better person. To grow up and leave all the stupid high school petty shit behind." Max says, and for a moment it's almost like she's speaking to someone else.

Likely the person she really is mad at, Eddie assumes. 

"Calling him King Steve just takes all that progress away, and for what? Cause you're jealous?" 

She's on a roll now. Eddie remains silent, knowing Max needs to get this out.

That this rant isn't aimed at him. 

"You're mad that things were easy for him? Because newsflash, they weren't. He put in the effort to be a good guy, could even," Max fakes a dramatic gasp, "--apologize!" 

An idea takes shape, both of the unsurprising source of the younger teens' hurt and frustration, and why she at least defends Harrington so hard.

Eddie may not know how exactly Max fits into "The Party" (or even who all is included within it) but it's clear she's just as close to Steve as the rest.

Maybe even a touch moreso, in a way that's eclipsed by Henderson alone. 

Max is still going. "Steve's a genuinely good person and he's earned the right to be acknowledged as one!" 

Her eyes are wet when she finishes and Max angrily swipes at them with her sleeve. 

Eddie knows better than to comment on it, but does take a moment to think her words over. 

"Have you seen it too?" He decides to ask. It's the part that sticks out to him, so it becomes the thread he decides to pull. 

Max blinks. "What?"

"The real world. Have you seen it too?"

"Yeah." Max admits, after a long moment of silence, chewing on her lower lip. "I did. And I wish I hadn't." 

"Sucks huh?"

"You don't know half of it."

"I might not know the exact parts you saw," Eddie agrees, as he pulls up in front of his trailer. "But I have seen plenty of other nasty bits and bobs." 

He puts his van in park. "Just because the monster changes shape doesn't make it any less of a danger, you know?" 

Max sits with that for a moment. Eddie sits with her, his music on even if he has the volume turned down low. 

Waits to see if she'll say more, or if this is all he's getting. 

There’s a slight hesitation--as if for a moment, Max considers opening up--but something in her balks and she opens the door instead. 

“Thanks for the ride.” She grumbles, quiet enough that he almost doesn’t hear, before slamming the door and walking fast to her trailer.

The lights are off, and the car he knows belongs to her mother isn’t in the driveway. 

It’s not unusual to be home alone at this hour. Not for Hawkins kids, and especially not for trailer park kids like them, but for the first time, Eddie finds himself wondering how often she’s alone. 

“Hey, Red!” He calls, as he makes his way out of the van. 

She turns to look at him, and Eddie realizes he must be getting a glimpse of what every adult used to see in him. Fury and discontent, all rolling over a sadness that’s bone deep and afraid to face daylight. 

“You ever wanna explain it to me, you’re welcome to come over.” He says, jerking his thumb over his shoulder at his own trailer. 

“Whatever.” Max says with an eye roll, before storming to her front door. 

Eddie waits for the lights to go on, before retreating back to his own house, feeling like he at least established something.

Even if it was just proof that he wasn’t going to blow up or brush her off like everyone else.

xXx  

January 13th's luck didn't end there.

A few hours after Eddie made sure Steve's attack chihuahua child made it home safe, a car pulls up in front of her trailer. 

Curious (and nosey as fuck) Eddie peers out the window to spot Harrington’s Beemer flick its lights off, owner crawling out and up to Max's front door with an arm full of takeout.

Steve stands there for a while, alternating between knocking and not-quite yelling, before finally putting the food down.

Eddie knows now that Steve's some kind of pseudo parent to these kids, that the intent he has towards them is a combination of brotherly and maternal. 

Can't help himself from the opportunity that arises when Harrington moves to peek into one of Max's trailer windows, though. 

"Damn Harrington," Eddie calls out, after quietly slipping onto his front porch. "Didn't know you were the kinda creep to stare into teenage girl's windows."

Steve spins, startled, and nearly goes down on the gravel while doing so. 

Eddie laughs--it's like watching Bambi on ice--but regrets it immediately when the younger man trots over to him. 

Puts his hands up and is about to defend himself out of sheer habit. 

"Is she okay?" Steve asks, trotting up the two steps so he can lower his voice. 

Eddie wiggles his raised hands in a “maybe” sort of gesture before lowering them. 

“She’s fine right now, but she’s definitely upset.” 

Steve hums, peering worriedly at the opposing trailer, takeout food sitting innocently by Max’s door. “

“She’s been upset for a while. I just…” He trails off, running his hand through his hair. “I don’t know what to do for her, you know? She’s not as easy to figure out as the others.”

Which isn’t the least bit surprising. At least, it isn’t to Eddie. 

While he can’t speak for their missing fourth member, the remaining three freshmen are the kind to wear their emotions on their sleeves, in their own ways. Mike and Dustin compete for loudest but even Lucas, the most likely to let things go, eventually explodes. 

All Harrington has to do to handle any of their issues is simply see that something is wrong, and then ask about it. 

The drive from the high school to the trailer park took less than fifteen minutes but in them, Eddie knew immediately that Max was far more like himself at heart. Angry at everything and everyone, using insults or humor to distract from her real problems. 

Eddie now was better than he was, the eleven year old kid who’d been dumped on his Uncle, extremely wary of adults and furious at the world at large. 

Like recognizes like though, even if he’s made progress. 

“I think the best thing you can do is keep being there for her.” Eddie admits quietly, because this is an area he can actually provide some insight for.  “That all that anger isn’t going to push you away. Just don’t be surprised if it takes her a while to understand you won’t abandon her like everybody else did.”

“Huh.” Steve says, and Eddie shouldn’t be surprised that Steve is taking him seriously. Not after the not-Christmas party, but he is. 

That’s part of the mystery of Steve Harrington, after all. 

The way Steve never quite reacts the way Eddie thinks he’s going to. 

“If she doesn’t take the food can you let me know?” Steve asks, and he sounds so sad about it that Eddie couldn’t possibly refuse, even if he’d wanted to. 

“Sure thing man.” He agrees. 

Harrington watches Max’s door for a moment longer before heaving himself off the porch with a sigh

“Oh,” He says, turning around partway to his car. “ We’re gonna have a movie night next Friday night. You should come.” 

‘Bing-fucking-go.’ 

“Well how could I say no to the King himself? Tell me the time and I’ll be there.” Eddie says, and then watches Steve’s face as he winces. 

Apparently, Red was right. 

Steve doesn’t rip his head off for the nickname though. Plows right on ahead, as if Eddie hadn’t called him it at all. 

"We were planning on making it just the adults--or at least, not the freshmen.” He nods towards Max’s trailer. 

Eddie raises an eyebrow. “Oh I’m sure they’re just delighted to be left out.” 

"You’d be surprised.” Steve says with a long-suffering look. “I've been informed I need more adult friends." 

Eddie can’t help but tease, though he softens his voice and grins to take the teeth out of it. "Band geek and a bunch of fourteen years olds not good enough for you?" 

"You’re forgetting my ex girlfriend." Steve adds, with his own self deprecating tone. 

“Well damn  Harrington, guess the town freak might actually be a step up for you!” Eddie says, loving that this version of Steve is willing to banter like this. 

“I dunno man, I think that nickname might be overhyped.” Steve says, and there’s that grin back on his face, the one he wore when he was stealing meaningless corporate trophies out of his father’s office. “I don’t think you’re that freaky at all.” 

He dips down in a movement that takes Eddie a moment to realize is him mimicking the curtsey he had given Eddie at the Christmas party, before getting in the Beemer. 

Then he’s gone, leaving Eddie trying to recover on the porch, wondering if the last part of that conversation actually happened or if he just wanted it so badly he dreamed the whole thing.

(When he looks back over to Max’s trailer, the takeout by the door is gone.) 

xXx 

20 days after New Years and Eddie didn’t know what he expected from a movie night at Steve’s-- but it wasn’t getting his ass kicked at beer pong. 

Of course, this may have been his fault. 

It started when Steve, three beers into a home recording of Animal House, made an off comment about Nancy Wheeler once putting all of Hawkin’s to shame at a party. 

(“Her aim has always been insane.” He'd added, as Nancy rolled her eyes and tried to hide her pleased grin behind a hand.  

Eddie had been a little surprised to see Steve hadn’t been kidding about Nancy coming--but also realized that Steve might have been serious when he’d joked about not really having a lot of friends. 

In Eddie's head, a miniature bat version of himself donned a detective's hat and cape, whipping out a notepad to dutifully write down; ‘Clue one: Steve has very few friends.’

“You, Nancy Wheeler, beat out four teams of dumb jocks…at beer pong?” Eddie asked, in total disbelief. 

“I did.” Nancy told him smugly. “And I could do it again.” 

“Really?” Eddie had said and it hadn’t been intended as a challenge, but it was taken as one.)

 Three games in, the beer having a long run out (they were actually playing “Vodka Shot Ball") and Eddie has to concur. 

Nancy Wheeler was in fact, god’s gift to throwing small orange balls into cups.

“How are you doing this!?” Eddie yells, throwing his hands in the air as Nancy sinks her last shot, Robin shrieking in victory behind her. 

Hand on her hip, Nancy gives him a lazy, smug smile. “I suppose,” She says, tilting her head, sounding for all the world like a cat who’s caught a canary, “--it would be my incredibly good aim.”

 Robin, who previously had been paired with Steve before insisting they switch (and who is more than a little drunk), shouts; “Take that Munson!” before grabbing Nancy’s wrists, pulling her into a dance. 

Laughing, Nancy goes with her, their celebration a stark contrast to the other half of the table where Steve is leaning heavily on his elbows. 

"Alright. Maybe, you do have some ungodly skills." Eddie admits, putting his hands on his head. “Forgive me for doubting you, oh Queen of beer pong.” 

"Oh, now you admit it?" Steve mutters playfully, head hanging low. "Couldn't have done it before I ran out of beer?"

"Hush Harrington, you enjoyed it." Eddie grins knocking a hip into his teammates

He too, is more than a touch drunk, despite having been on Nancy’s team for the prior two rounds. 

Vodka-Shot Ball, as it turns out, is enough to really mess a person up if you miss enough. 

"Did I?” Steve moans, before hiccupping.

(“Harrington you’re a jock, are you missing on purpose!?” Eddie had asked early in this game, when Steve’s shots had gone from fairly decent to fucking abysmal. 

“He’s two shots in, Eddie.” Robin had spoken for her soulmate, as she aimed a ball at a cup. “All those concussions don’t play nice with hard alcohol. Why do you think I switched sides?”

“I’ll remember this betrayal, Rob.” Steve grumbled in response. “See if I ever do your hair for you again.”

Batective Eddie promptly scribbled; ‘Clue Two, Steve has had a lot of concussions and can no longer handle a lot of hard liquor’ down on his notepad, puffing on his little old-timey pipe. ‘Also he does hair.’) 

“Now that Stubbornson over here has finally admitted defeat,” Steve says, “Can we please go lay down? We're way too drunk for another round.” 

“Speak for yourself, Lightweight. I’m fine.” Eddie tells him, walking towards the door to the kitchen.

Of course life cannot tolerate him being smooth and so Eddie walks dead-on into the closed glass door rather than the open one next to it. 

He staggers back and loses his balance, falling hard on his ass. 

“Shit!” Someone curses. 

“You okay Eddie?” Someone else asks.

“Yeah.” He moans, rubbing at his head. 

Wheeler appears next to him, shooing his hands away from his face so she could examine him. 

“You’re an idiot.” Nancy informs him calmly, hands expertly checking his head. Her touch is professional, but Eddie's surprised by it anyway, “But I think you’ll live.” 

Eddie squints up at her. “How come you’re not drunk?” He asks, and okay, yeah, he definitely hears the slur in his voice this time. 

"I only had three drinks across all three games." Nancy informs him sweetly. "None of them were vodka."

"I hate you." Eddie moans dramatically, before opting to lay down on the porch. 

“No you don’t.” Nancy says confidently, and then pats his head, before getting up from her crouch. “How are you doing Steve?”

“Kill me.” Comes Harrington's voice from across the patio, sounding very pathetic. 

Eddie wishes he could pet his head.  

“Denied!” Robin calls out. “Don’t even joke about that dingus, you got too close last summer as it was.”

(Batective Eddie, swaying a little with a beer bottle in his paw, tries to write that down.

He somewhat succeeds.) 

Nancy disappears for a moment and Eddie wills himself to sit up--or at the very least roll to where Harrington and Buckley are. 

"I'm going to drive myself and Robin home.”  Nancy announces as she reappears, alongside a hovering bottled water. 

Gratefully, he takes it.

With a tone that’s only this side of too-sweet, she asks; “Eddie? Would you like a ride?”

He considers it.

On one hand, that means he leaves his van here. So someone else has drive him to get it back in the morning (unless Harrington drives it to him and while Eddie finds himself weirdly unopposed to that idea, he doesn’t want to impose.

…Or inflict the current sad state of his van’s interior on Steve before he knows the guy better.) 

On the other hand, he’s clearly too drunk to drive, which means more time with a drunk Steve Harrington.

That’s gotta be good for figuring out clues, right? 

(In his head, Batective Eddie shoots him a thumbs up from where he lays, facedown on the floor.) 

 "If I get into a car I’m going to hurl." He announces. “So I’m gonna pass.” 

Nancy makes a very unlady like noise, and Eddie grins, finally managing to lurch up to his elbows. “Nancy Wheeler was that a snort!?” He teases gleefully, as she rolls her eyes. 

“Maybe.” She says, then holds out a hand. 

Eddie slaps his in it, but does his best not to pull on her. Instead he mostly uses her for balance as he works his way to his feet. 

“You guys get home safe okay?” Steve says, voice uncharacteristically serious as Robin helps him up from the pool chair he'd collapsed in. “Check in when you do.” 

That’s weird--Eddie half expects it to be some sort of inside joke or macho, alpha man type comment but instead both Robin and Nancy nod seriously. 

“We will.” Nancy promises. “Thank you for inviting me, Steve. Nice meeting you properly, Eddie.” 

She gifts him with a smile, an honest one, before guiding Robin out the door. 

Who screams; “Bye losers, love you!” as she exits.  

(Eddie thinks this might be another moment for Batective Eddie except he’s sort of getting a headache and kinda just wants to sleep rathe than envision his Sherlock Holmes styled bat-self.) 

They follow the ladies in, Eddie beelining for the first cough he sees. 

“You can sleep it off here.” Steve tells him, zombie-walking to his fridge. He pulls out a soda and chugs it as Eddie falls face first into couch cushions, taking a moment to let his stomach settle before adjusting to a better position. 

"Nah I'm just gonna close my eyes for a second." Eddie mumbles. “Be fine in a ‘lil bit, promise.” 

Does so, and enjoys the sweet, sweet darkness that envelops him. 

He jerks awake a moment later, blinking hard in the dark. A blanket has been draped over him, and his shoes kicked off, though judging from where they landed Eddie thinks he’s done that part himself.

A glance at his wristwatch reveals it's 1 AM, and Eddie goes to scrub his eyes with his hands.

Shit, he hadn't intended to stay this long. 

Harrington’s creepy Christmas shit’s all gone, replaced by walls so blank they look almost sterile. 

It creates a different, quieter vibe that's almost more spooky than the Santa-themed tomb Eddie had previous seen. The large windows throw shadows across the open space, like elongated fingers. It covers parts of the room in thick darkness, giving the appearance than anything could be hiding within them. 

There's blankets on the couch catty-corner to Eddie’s. They're rucked up, and the sound of running water abruptly clues Eddie in to where Steve might be. 

A golden glow erupts from the kitchen, then off again, before repeating the pattern.  

( Batective Eddie returns with a squeak, frantically waving a sign. 

It reads ‘Steve is afraid of flickering lights, remember!?’) 

The noise in the kitchen has gone eerily quiet. The bad kind, that makes the hairs on his neck stand up, and Eddie rolls off the couch and to his feet, making his way to the kitchen. 

Comes around the corner to see Steve frozen halfway to the stove, his head craned upward at the ceiling lights. 

Eddie knew that whatever had happened, a clear trigger for all those involved (the kids, Harrington, hell even Nancy Wheeler that one time in the library--) was electrical issues in lights. 

He clears his throat, the sound coming out like more of a growl. He coughs to clear it, then sidles closer. 

Steve has a stillness to his body that Eddie doesn’t clock until it’s too late, his hand already reaching out to tap the taller man’s shoulder. 

"Hey, uh Steve?"

Gets the shock of his life when Steve yanks his shoulder away, spinning back and around like he's been burned. 

Eddie gets a flash of wide brown eyes, glassy and wild, before a frying pan is swung at his head. 

"What the hell Harrington!" Eddie yelps, falling down on his ass and scrambling backwards, pan missing his head by inches. 

(Envisions in his head his Batective self throwing his notes in the air, taking flight with a startled “Fleeeee!”)

Harrington stands over him. Looks just like Wayne did that one time a car battery caught fire and exploded near the trailer. 

Like he was somewhere else, and prepared to do what he had to in order to get back. 

Chest heaving, Eddie put aside all thoughts of stupid bats and did what he did best.

Talked.

xXx

20 days after New Years, Steve almost takes Eddie's head off with a frying pan. 

Doesn't realize he's swung it like a weapon until he hears the surprised shout, his brain too steeped in adrenaline and old fears. 

Freezes, because the shout sounds like one of the kids but he doesn’t remember them being here...

"--eve?"

"What?" He asks, the ringing slowly easing as his tunnel vision does. 

He'd heard the growl, saw the lights flicker…

A gentle hand presses into his bicep, and he finds himself staring into Eddie Munson’s eyes. 

The guy has a sort of look on his face that says he's trying his best not to freak out, but then Steve blinks and it's gone. 

Replaced with something gentle, if cautious. 

"You wouldn't mind if I just," Eddie trails off as his ringed fingers slowly stroke down Steve's arm, before carefully taking hold of the pan’s handle. "--took this, aye love?"

It's the nickname that brings Steve back fully, and he loosens his grip on the pan, surrendering it to Munson. 

"Thank you Steve." He says, leaning to put the pan back on the stove, far out of Steve's current reach. 

Then his hands return to Steve's wrists, and he finds himself staring at them in confusion.

Not because he doesn't know what happened--he does.

It's  more that he's shocked Eddie is still willing to touch him after he nearly brained him. 

"There's egg on the floor." Steve says, because it's the easiest thought to have at the moment. 

Easier than apologizing. 

Definitely easier than explaining.

"We'll clean the egg up later." Eddie says firmly, and Steve's never heard him use that tone of voice before. Firm and unyielding, like he has all the answers.

It's the kind of voice Steve can surrender his anxiety to and he finds himself almost sinking into it. 

If Munson asked him to walk over a cliff just then, he would be more than a little tempted.

"Let's go sit down, just for a few minutes." Eddie tells him, a gentle tug on his wrists and Steve finds himself breathing out, his body shivering with the release of stress. 

He nods, unable to speak, and allows himself to be maneuvered out into his living room, then down on one of the loveseats. 

Eddie sits next to him, his thigh a line of grounding heat pressed against Steve's leg and he focuses on it to keep himself in the present. 

"You back with me?"

Steve works his throat, hyper aware of how dry it is. "Yeah." He says.

Then adds, "sorry."

"Don't apologize, man. I've done plenty of trip sitting in my day. I know a panic attack when I see one."

Steve vaguely wants to ask what the hell trip sitting is, but finds himself unconsciously leaning towards Eddie instead. 

Somehow he doesn't mind, even though Steve's practically squished up against him. Not that Eddie's ever been one to care about personal space, but Steve knows there's a difference between a teasing joke and whatever this is. 

Eddie's thumb begins to rub gentle, grounding circles into the meat of Steve's wrist. 

It gives his eyes something to track and gratefully Steve does, so he doesn't have to look Eddie in the face. 

Isn't sure he can clear the tears trying to wet his eyes in time to brush this off. 

Claim it's nothing serious.

"You wanna talk about it?" Eddie asks and somehow Steve didn't account for how direct the metalhead could be.

The tears strengthen and for a moment his vision blurs with them, before he sucks in a shuddering breath and forces himself back under control. 

'God Steven, toughen up.' His father's voice rings out in his head, the memory branded into Steve's very being. 'It's ridiculous how much you cry. Do you think anyone wants to put up with that?'

Steve had answered no then, tone wobbling. 

"I--" He starts, "--signed an NDA."

Which is not, at all, what he meant to say, but too late now. 

"The cops and I aren't exactly on speaking terms, your secrets are safe with me." Eddie says, entirely unphased. 

Which ghosts a smile over Steve’s face at least, even as he finds himself totally lost. 

How exactly is he supposed to explain this? 

The Upside Down, the Russians, hell even the way he's become hyper vigilant?

That certain words or references act like bullets, sending him to the floor in a spiral of burning panic? 

Nevermind his finely honed instinct to use anything as a weapon when startled.

Sensing his discomfort, Eddie hums quietly before making a suggestion. "How about you tell me a totally fake, very unreal  story?"

Steve croaks a laugh. 

"I'm a really bad story teller." He warns. 

"Practice makes perfect." Eddie tells him, leaning his shoulder into the taller man's. 

Grateful--and feeling more than a little pathetic--Steve finds himself seeking out the touch. 

"Okay." He agrees quietly, with a jerky nod of his head. "A--completely untrue, over exaggerated story. I can do that." 

So he does. 

xXx 

The story Steve tells in halting, fumbling bursts of words involves monsters, the supernatural, government secrets and coverups. 

The latter half of which doesn't even surprise Eddie--anyone with half a brain could see the sheer number of incidents that happened one after another was a cover up for something big-- but he can't help himself from trying to detangle reality from fiction. 

Monsters he gets. It's easier to pretend the bad guy is an evil creature than a real person, to distance yourself from it in such a way it feels fake. 

The supernaturally gifted girl is a little harder, but if you replace superpowers with some poor kid involved in some kind of shitty, abusive government program, then he can buy it. 

What Steve never explains, is what set him off. 

Eddie tells him so. 

"I told you I was a bad storyteller." Steve says in response, which isn’t an explanation but then, Eddie realizes he is pushing awful hard for a guy who he barely knows to bare his soul--and who, in turn, barely knows him.

Not really anyway.

Not outside of rumors and old wounds. 

"Is there anything that ever helps you feel safer?" 

"People." Steve says immediately. "People always help but ah, well." His smile is pained, self deprecating. "I can't exactly ask for sleepovers every night, can I?”

He shrugs. “So I just keep a few things close.' 

"A few things?"

"My nailbat."

"Is the nailbat a bat…with nails in it?" Eddie hedges, desperately attempting to keep a calm, straight face because what the fuck? 

But this was a no judging zone, and it wasn’t as if a bat with nails in it was the weirdest thing Eddie had ever encountered. Not since Uncle Wayne’s friends informed him they had at minimum, seventeen guns hidden in their own trailer across town. 

‘Things are happening at night, kid. Bad things. Don’t go too far into the woods looking for trouble.’

"Maybe." Steve admits. 

"How about instead of hugging a nail bat to sleep, if things get bad you come over. Wayne works the night shift and I have insomnia anyways." 

"Really?" 

Eddie can’t blame him for sounding surprised. 

"Yeah man. No skin off my nose, though you will be stuck hearing my beautiful sweetheart. She's a guitar sent from heaven. "

"I can handle that." He says, a smile ghosting across his face. 

Then; "Thanks Eddie."

Eddie presses his shoulder against Steve’s. "Anytime, big boy." 

(Crisis over, Batective Eddie returns, swooning. 

Eddie mentally squashes him under his own notes.) 

[dangerkittenclaws]

simon x medic!ed!reader

word count: 1.1k

warnings: eating disorder thoughts, actions, consequences, fainting, unestablished relationship, mutual pining ftw

a/n: have this blurb of hurt/comfort that came to me while i work on requests and part 3 of pop. luv u <3

You wake up in bed with a horrendous stomachache. You tap your phone beside you, it reads 3:48am. You throw your covers off of you, covered in sweat.

You roll to your back before immediately curling up with your arms held tight around your stomach to stave off the cramping.

When was the last time you had eaten? Right. That's something that normal people do.

It had only been…two.. three.. you count in your head. Four…days? That's not that bad, is it? You’ve gone longer.

Another pang shoots through your midsection. Noone else would be in the rec room to watch you eat.

Cereal. Cereal is what your stomach wanted. Something sweet and full of sugar and carbohydrates. You think you’ve seen a box of Choco Rice in the cabinet.

Your brain fights back equally, the Chinese takeout you had the other day with everyone would be enough to hold you over until lunch tomorrow. It was full of carbohydrates. More than enough, surely. You could throw the cereal up after too, that was always an option.

You should know, as a medic, how nutrition works. Of course you know and you tell others, but ignore every bit of logical information when it comes to your own wellbeing. You don’t count in that particular equation.

“Fuck it,” you mumble to yourself as you turn over to throw your legs over the side. You don't even bother with slippers and you open your door as quietly as possible, the other hand gripping the hem of your damp shirt.

Your vision goes dark around the edges and you reach out for the wall of the hallway to stabilize you. You touch a hand to your forehead before moving on.

You enter the rec room at the end of the hallway where the hulking figure of Simon is leaning over a steeping cup of tea. He turns at your rather noisy entrance.

Shit. You didn’t want anyone here. You can always take it back to your room.

Dizziness fills your head and you become unfocused, still leaning against the doorframe.

“You alright there?”

“Yeah, uh, I…,” you take a few steps forward and another cramp twists in your stomach, hunching you forward.

“Clearly not,”

“No, I, sorry, I just feel dizzy, just forgot to eat yesterday,” you explain wildly trying to complete your mission before you get asked any more questions.

You know Simon is watching your every move. You try to control your movements, to try to stop your hands from shaking as your blood sugar is dropping dangerously low.

You open the cabinet and grab out a bowl for yourself. You stare at the empty bowl on the counter for longer than necessary, trying to make your eyes focus on the task at hand. The more you stare the harder it is to stay standing straight, you realize.

Simon gets close to you, and you feel a hand at your back. You tip backwards and crumble. “Fuck,” is the last thing you hear.

You come to on the rec couch, letting out a whine.

“There you are, love.” Simon comes into view.

“Now you want to tell me why you just passed out on me?”

Your face goes red and you want to implode and disappear. You cover your face with your inner elbow.

“No hiding. Tell me. Please.”

“I…I haven’t eaten.” you nearly whisper.

“Right, in how long?” his long fingers graze over your other arm, like he’s trying to calm a scared cat.

“Just since yesterday morning,” you lie.

You see his eyes catch your glance over, you know you’ve been caught. Why did you even try with him? It’s like he has a sixth sense. You know this.

“Try again.”

“Four…four days.”

“Let’s get something in you so you don’t pass out again, that sound okay?”

You nod in agreement.

“You stay here, I’ll bring you something.” He touches your arm again to reassure you.

“‘kay.” you mumble out, turning on your side. Your vision is better and you can focus a bit, but you don’t let your eyes wander, it makes your stomach drop. You close them to be safe.

You don’t know how long you lay there with your eyes shut, ears listening to Simon puttering around the stove.

“You want to sit up for me?” Simon is there, holding a plate above you. You don’t know what it holds.

You manage to prop yourself up a bit backed up to the armrest, bending your legs to sit cross legged. You realize you probably look ragged and pathetic to the lieutenant.

Simon lowers the plate to put in your lap, you finally see what mystery food he made you.

It’s still steaming scrambled eggs and a piece of buttered toast. Your eyes nearly pop out of your head. It’s a lot.

He reads your mind before you can speak.

“Don’t expect you to finish. Just need something in you. We can figure out the rest in the morning. The real morning.”

You smile at him, picking up the fork. You look down at the plate. You choose a medium piece of egg to stab first.

“Ill just be in there cleaning up, okay, love?” You look up at him and give a small nod before turning back to the daunting task in your lap.

Not all of it. Just a little. Just enough.

You lift the fork to your mouth and the moment the eggs hit your tongue you salivate. You realize how desperately hungry you really are. They’re buttery and salty and perfect.

Before you know it, there's another forkful and another, a few bites of toast too.

Your stomach is protesting at the sudden change but you can tell you’ll be able to keep it down this time.

Simon made it for you. You have to keep it down. You can’t let him know how long this has really been going on, they’ll discharge you and it’ll be a big fuck up. You’d gone too far already, fainting in front of your team, by god. Simon walks back into the room to check on you.

“You did great, love.” You give him a small smile before turning back to the tv to watch whatever late night talk show was on.

You set the nearly empty plate on the coffee table in front of you. The sight of it makes you sick.

He sits next to you with an arm around the back of the couch. You curl up into his side, trying to suck up the warmth he’s radiating.

His arm moves down to your shoulder and he pulls you in closer. You don’t fight your drooping eyelids as you listen to the talk show and the air slowly filling and exiting his lungs.

Your breathing evens out eventually and Simon smiles down at you. You fell asleep cuddled into him, arm slung around his middle, gripping his sweatshirt in one fist with every bit of energy left, silently telling him not to leave.

“Little medic needs to be looked after too.”

[pigeon-behavior]

By the way, here's a heads up for people who may be somewhat new to pigeons (and excited to get a friendly one!) and have heard the term "ethical breeders" passed around.

This has a really specific meaning. And unfortunately how we use it in the pet pigeon community is not going to be how people in the rest of the pigeon community understand it.

You may be saying, "Well I don't know how the pet pigeon community defines ethical breeders!"

Well I may as well walk you through the whole thing:

For the purposes of this post let me clarify that the "pet pigeon community" I'm referring to here is the CPC discord server and its satellite entities, including the tumblrs and instagrams of prominent knowledgeable individuals and/or breeders. I'm not sure what say, GLPRs definition is, and for the purposes of understanding what I'm saying here, I am going to refer to them as the rescue pigeon community to help differentiate. God knows Palomacy doesn't deserve the title.

So then, what do we define as an ethical breeder?

Well, ethical breeders must do certain things.

Some examples:

-Provide adequate predator-proof, clean housing for their birds, without overcrowding

-Practice hatch control (aka not letting birds breed endlessly, for a variety of reasons)

-Work towards a goal (produce good temperaments, better a line's structure or color)

-Be willing and able to provide vet care

-Not seek monetary profit (if you're doing it right there will never be profit, only a black hole you throw cash into)

-Never handraise babies on purpose (but shit happens)

-Know your individual pigeons, understand their personalities and bodies, and what they have to pass down to offspring

-Socialize young parent raised pigeons

-Put animal Welfare before animal Rights. Animal rights are useless. Animal welfare makes a difference.

-Be willing to euthanize a pigeon that needs it

-Work with ethical breeds, or be actively in the process of making a breed more ethical (aka functional)

This is probably not exhaustive but its what comes to mind now. It's a decent core of it.

When you get a pigeon from an ethical breeder, you're likely paying more money. And you should be. More money was already invested into that animal.

And what did you get out of it? Well, for one, a MUCH lower chance your new bird is going to cost you $500 in vet fees. And that isn't even MENTIONING the enormous, ENORMOUS difference in temperament between your average pigeon and one that comes from an ethical breeder under this definition.

There is no better chance of receiving a bird that is friendly out-of-box. Which is really big, considering it can take half a year to bond with a pigeon.

But there's unfortunately a problem here. And it's that people new to this community who are very excited about getting a pigeon don't know that people elsewhere are going to have an entirely different definition of ethical breeder.

If you go on Facebook, where most of the Old Pigeon Guys reside, and ask in a breed group, "Are there any ethical breeders in here?" hoping to find yourself a pet, a bunch of guys will come in to the comments and be like

"well of course we're ethical breeders"

Having no idea what you're on about, but generally being too polite to question your weird phrasing.

And you will have been misled. Through no fault of anyone's. Through no malicious intent.

But if you're looking for an ethical breeder for a friendly bird, the result you get that way will be a disappointment.

I hope someone finds this informative and helpful. Shoutout to my buddy at Renaissance Loft for bringing up this issue recently and planting a bug in the back of my brain about it lol

If you like my posts, please consider tipping me on ko-fi!

[penny00dreadful]

Spies AU - Part 15

Part 1 Part 16 AO3

4th December 2015

Everything was just kind of… floating.

All of his sensations and thoughts and feelings, the building surrounding him as he walked through the empty lobby, every footstep echoing off the walls all kind of drifted in front of him like clouds. 

He couldn’t really grasp them.

Eddie wasn’t even sure how he’d managed to drive here safely.

He was feeling numb all over.

His hands, his lips, his brain, his heart, his stomach were all outside of his body, like they knew if he thought about things too hard he’d just end up curling into a ball and screaming.

He would love to do that honestly, there was just so much, but he couldn’t.

He didn’t have time.

He had a job to do.

Eddie refused to think about what had just happened. 

He couldn’t.

It would be too much of a distraction. There was some small, paranoid part of him that thought if he did think about it, he would know. 

Somehow.

Like he had a window into Eddie’s mind, he would be able to see.

He’d know.

And Eddie couldn’t let that happen.

Creel had him puppeteered on strings for so long, he couldn’t even comprehend what it might be like to finally have them cut.

It was better to keep it locked away, or to keep it drifting through his brain without letting it latch on.

Just keep moving forward.

One step in front of the other.

The elevator dinged and he arrived on the analysts floor.

It was empty and echoing, save for the two voices and the sound of a struggle taking place deep into the half cubicles lined up methodically in their rows.

He hadn't exactly expected any different.

Two women were struggling with each other at a nondescript desk, one he recognised and another he'd never seen before.

The other one must be Robin, then.

Her hair was awry, like it had been tugged and pulled and Eddie caught sight of a few strands littering the floor. There was a cut over her cheek and a blazing, angry fire in her eyes. 

She had her hands tied behind her back and though her opponent was armed with a gun, she continued to kick and bite and throw herself around, fighting to get away.

The two screens on her desk were still on, Steve’s flat vitals constantly moving in a line from left to right along with the high pitched ringing coming from her headset, hanging by the wire off the desk.

“Angie.” Eddie greeted when he was within earshot.

Angie looked over at him, a mix of disdain and frustration on her face as she struggled to keep Robin subdued. Her nose was bloody, probably broken. There was a deep gouge over her eye, like Robin had attempted to claw it out and the side of her face was starting to swell, blood dribbling from her mouth.

There was a stray tooth on the floor and Eddie couldn’t help the curl of satisfaction through his gut as his eyes flashed back to her.

He never fucking liked her anyway.

He liked her even less realising she’d been placed here for who knows how long. 

So she had been the mole.

There was probably a reason he hadn’t been informed of that. Creel always played things incredibly close to the chest. Only he knew of every chess piece he had on the board. 

“It's Angela-” Angie snapped but she was cut off by an enraged screech.

“You!”

A wild flurry of legs came swinging at him out of nowhere. Robin broke out of Angela's hold and flew at him.

“You fucking piece of shit!” She screamed, moving with a speed he really hadn’t expected from her, catching him off guard and kicking him directly in the solar plexus. 

He stumbled back a step, completely winded from the hit, but Robin didn’t let up for a second.

“How could you?!” She lashed out at his knee and if he hadn’t stepped out of the way, she definitely would have dislocated it. “How fucking could you?!” She swung her leg back in a large arc and then swung it forward again, clearly aiming for his balls. “You fucking betrayed him! Traitor!”

Eddie was able to dodge it easily enough, he saw it coming and when he batted Robin’s leg out of the way, it was enough to send her slightly off balance.

But she recovered quickly, rearing back and spitting directly in his face.

Something about that seemed to have woken Angela up, about fucking time, and she grabbed Robin by the wrists, yanking her back. 

“I’ll fucking kill you.” Robin hissed at him, vicious anger cutting through her words.

Eddie believed her. 

He believed that if she ever got her hands on him, she would try her very best to end his life. There was so much fury in such a tiny, tiny woman.

And he couldn’t blame her for it.

“I swear to everything on this earth,” she continued, still pulling, stretching against Angela’s grip to get right up in his face, “if it’s the last thing I ever fucking do, I’ll kill you for what you’ve done.”

Eddie cooly wiped her spit from his cheek with his sleeve, shoving everything in his stomach, his heart down, keeping it away from his face. His swirling guilt was starting to make him feel sick.

With another great wrench of her upper body, she got out of Angela’s hold again and Eddie had had enough, he couldn’t take any more of it or he would break.

He sympathised with her, he really did, but he was done with being a punching bag.

When she kicked her leg out at him again, he shoved against it, nearly toppling her over. 

Before she could right herself, he wrapped his own arms around her from behind, holding her tight against him.

She threw her head back with a ferocious scream, nearly connecting with his nose and kicked her heels back violently against his shins.

“Stop your fucking whining.” He snapped, with more passion, more anger than he really felt right then, but needs must. “You sound like a muppet trying to give birth.”

It had the exact effect he hoped it would.

Her spitting anger, her vitriol and violence faltered, for just half a second, half a second where Eddie’s heart stood still, waiting to see if she knew what was good for her, if she was as smart as he’d been told.

With another strangled scream, that sounded a little like a cry of relief, she started trying to hit him again, but nothing connected, nothing landed and he could feel the fight draining from her.

Okay, that was fine, he could work with that, he just needed her to play along.

“Worn yourself out with your little tantrum, have you?”

She turned to glare at him with just as much anger behind it as there had been before, so that much hadn’t changed.

It probably wouldn’t, not for a while.

He got it.

He understood.

“Just fucking knock her out, already.” Angela rolled her eyes at him, standing with a hip cocked, tonguing at her gum where her tooth had once been and her gun held loosely by her side.

Amateur. 

“Don’t tell me how to do my job, Angie.” He sneered back. 

He wished, not for the first time, he could just kill her and be done with it.

“Well go on,” Angela waved her gun, her wrist loose, in the direction of the elevator, the direction he’d come. “Go do your job then.”

It would be so easy, he could make it very quick. 

He would be able to knock the gun out of her hand and have her neck broken before she could blink again, but he also couldn’t.

“Fuck you.” He spat, but still turned with Robin in his arms, dragging her through the office and back to the elevator, leaving Angela to whatever fate met her when he left this room.

Robin was still trying to catch her breath, still glaring at him as he set her back on her feet and pushed the button for the ground floor.

Just before the doors slid fully closed, there was a sound, so quiet it was barely audible, that came muffled from the office.

But Eddie had been trained, he’d recognise a sound like that anywhere.

The thud of a body hitting the floor.

Good riddance.

Dead or unconscious, it didn’t matter to him. She wasn’t his fucking problem anymore. 

He leaned back against the wall as they descended, arms crossed over his chest as he and Robin stared at each other.

Or he stared, Robin glared.

He could practically see the gears clicking in her brain. She tilted her head to the side, just barely. 

It was a question in and of itself.

Eddie shook his head, almost imperceptibly, trying to keep the movement as hidden as possible.

Don’t talk about it, don’t ask.

Robin huffed in irritation and he wasn’t sure if it was real or put on. She kicked back against the wall in frustration. 

So probably real, then.

“Charming.” He said, raising his eyebrows.

He was met with a scowl.

“Fuck you. You don’t get to say shit to me.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yes, really. I’m not gonna take shit from the guy who’s fucking kidnapping me and murdered my best friend.” She snapped, her voice breaking on the last two words.

Eddie swallowed back the emotions in his throat, unable to stop his eyes dipping down to the elevator floor.

“That’s what I thought, you prick.”

Eddie didn’t answer back and didn’t look up, tightening his arms around himself, glancing away towards the doors.

They rode down in silence for another few seconds before Robin broke it again.

“And you’re short.”

Eddie had to whip his head up at that, an incredulous look on his face.

“I am not short!”

Robin shrugged, all put on nonchalance. 

“Shorter than I thought you’d be.”

Okay, he supposed there were worse things she could say about him, considering the circumstances.

He couldn’t really find it in himself to care too much about the insults. He’d probably be dead by the end of the day if this all didn’t work out anyway.

Eddie stepped forward, grabbing her just above the elbow before the doors opened in case she tried to bolt and kept a firm grip on her through the lobby.

He could feel the heat of her hate-stare burning into the side of his head the whole way out to the car, radiating through to the back of his head.

Just before they got to his car, he slid his hand down her arm, working his finger into the bindings at her wrists.

Not enough to release her, not enough to let her escape, but enough to allow the blood to start flowing again.

Her glare didn’t let up and she didn’t indicate that she knew anything was different as he shoved her into the back seat of his car.

He didn’t push her that hard, but she still flew in, still landed with a thump, still made it look like he’d been forceful which he was thankful for. 

He had no idea how many eyes and ears were on him right now. 

The car ride was silent. 

Robin might be playing along, but her hate filled glare was real enough. He didn’t blame her for it. She had no confirmation that he wasn’t just going to throw her, helpless, into the lion's den. 

She had no confirmation that he wasn’t some evil piece of shit. 

All she had to go off of was whatever Steve had told her about him, so… 

He supposed it all came down to how much she trusted the word of her best friend.

Even though the things Eddie had done in the last few hours had not helped with whatever impression of trustworthiness Steve might have given her.

She was still enraged at him. 

He was pretty sure she’d have gouged his eyes out by now as well, if she could have. 

Again, he couldn’t have blamed her for it.

He couldn’t imagine what it must have been like to overhear what she heard. To see the vitals stop and flatline, to be attacked in her own office, to know that a gun had been shot.

It must have been horrible.

Henry Creel’s mansion loomed in front of them, sticking out in all of its beige bricked glory. The long driveway had been cleared of snow, even as it was still falling, and had been salted.

Eddie would have usually used the back entrance, driven straight down to the garage and entered through the servants quarters, but he knew Creel wouldn’t have wanted that right now.

He would want Robin to have the full Creel experience and that meant experiencing his wealth as well. 

Eddie hated being in the fucking Creel mansion. 

The wealth here made his skin crawl. It made him want to break things and wipe mud all over the expensive paintings and tapestries. 

He felt like he was being watched constantly in here.

More so than he usually did. 

Like every single painting, every single statue, every single doorway had eyes that followed him no matter where he went. 

Which only made him want to vandalise more shit. 

If Creel didn’t know how much Eddie fucking hated him, he’d have shown him over and over and over again by wrecking his shit every chance he got.

If it wouldn’t have gotten him dropped into The Pit again. 

No, he never ever wanted to go back there. He’d had enough of it. 

The last time he’d been down there he’d only narrowly managed to escape, running off to Steve’s at the first opportunity presented to him.

He wouldn’t be able to make the same escape again, regardless of who he was.

The guards that were dotted around the mansion liked to believe they were the most intimidating thing in the building.

But the way they refused to look him in the eye, told him at least that they had the vaguest idea of Eddie’s position.

And if it wasn’t himself they were scared of, it was Creel.

Even the tiniest noise coming from Creel’s office, where he spent most of his time, had the guards on his floor flinching away, terrified of incurring any kind of wrath or getting stuck in The Pit themselves.

Eddie kept Robin close to his side as he walked her through the opulent hallway and up the stairs.

The various guards along the way eyed the two of them. Some were curious about who this new captive was and why she was being brought to him and not just executed, as was Eddie’s job, but some were giving her eyes like she was a piece of meat for them to play with and it made Eddie’s stomach turn. 

Eddie had his eyes and ears peeled and he was probably giving a little too much away, if Creel was watching him right now, he was going to be fucked because as Robin curled herself in towards him subconsciously the deeper into the house they got.

He kept an arm around Robin’s shoulder and tried not to let everything that was happening in that moment get to him.

Robin was starting to panic. 

She wasn’t pretending any more, she wasn’t putting on a face of fear to keep up the facade, she was actually fucking scared.

It must be terrifying to be marched towards the enemy boss’s office, not knowing what was to come. 

That was probably the only reason she didn’t react to the soft thump behind her, the guard who’d been looking a little too hungrily as they passed was the only one in this hallway.

She might not have heard it, but Eddie did.

The quietest grunt of pain from a second impact, just as they turned the corner, guards being thinned out behind them.

He hated all of these people, hated being here, hated everything that was happening right now, he wanted to peel his fucking skin off, but he kept that all locked away inside.

So fuck these guys. Let whatever happened to them happen.

Creel was a fucking bloodhound, a cruel and malicious one. 

Eddie wanted him to believe he’d finally broken him, finally reduced him down to a dead eyed, unfeeling and compliant person, finally, after all this time of trying.

When he’d been sent out for Steve yesterday… that had been how he’d felt.

He hadn’t known how the fuck he was supposed to get out of it. Didn’t see a way forward. Knew that the choice was between Steve and his people back home and how was he ever supposed to make a choice like that, in the end?

But he had, hadn’t he?

He’d broken into Steve’s apartment with a loaded gun and waited for him to get home, trying to swallow down every emotion in his throat as he looked around and remembered how happy he had been the last time he was here.

In the end the choice wasn’t really a choice.

Eddie had learned that, after.

Found out there was some way forward that didn’t break him completely.

So he grabbed it with both hands.

Robin was shaking next to him as he turned them into Creel’s office, opening the door and ushering her in.

He’d have loved to offer her more comfort, let her know he’d do whatever he could to keep her safe, but he couldn’t.

He just couldn’t.

Henry Creel was sitting behind his desk, blonde hair perfectly waving over his forehead, in an expensive grey wool suit. He looked up from his computer when Eddie closed the door behind them, a wide smile splitting over his face that could be mistaken for warm if Eddie didn’t know the man in front of him was incapable of warmth.

“Kas! Wonderful to see you again!” Creel exclaimed, standing and making his way around his desk to stand in front of them. “And this must be the elusive Birdie. Or Robin, I suppose. Lovely to meet you.”

He pushed Eddie back a step with the lightest press of his fingers, like he was a cat standing in his way and Eddie went easily. 

Creel circled Robin like a predator, taking in everything about her while she stood with her head held high, despite the tremble in her shoulders.

“Oh, yes.” Creel breathed, coming back around to stand in front of her, nodding to himself. “She’ll do nicely.”

“She’ll do nicely for what, exactly?” Robin snapped, glaring up at where he towered over her.

Creel somehow grinned even wider, showing off all his teeth. 

He loved people with fire in them. Loved quenching it. Sometimes slowly, sometimes lightning fast.

“You and I,” Creel tapped a finger on his chin, “are going to have a great deal of fun together, my dear.”

“Sorry.” Robin sneered. “You’re not my type.”

Creel frowned, confused, though it was more than likely put on. “Not your type-?” He stepped back with the realisation of what she meant, almost looking offended. “Oh no. I would be doing nothing so crass as that, Robin. I have no interest in assault of that kind, rest assured.”

“Yeah,” she rolled her eyes. “I’m real fuckin’ assured.”

He smiled again, glancing back to Eddie and then back down to her. 

“You’ve got a wonderful spirit in you.”

I can’t wait to break it, went unsaid but they all heard it.

“Has my dear Kas informed you of The Pit?”

Robin shrugged. “Can’t say that he has.”

“Oh, Kas.” Creel tutted like a disappointed owner. “Are you losing your touch?”

Eddie grit his teeth, not even managing to answer before his boss was already moving on. There were shadows moving across the snow outside. Eddie could see them out of the corner of his eye through the large window Creel was turned away from, looking out over his estate, the exits from his house visible, situated right behind his desk.

Eddie kept his eyes firmly ahead, not letting his gaze be drawn to the movement. 

“The Pit is what you would call my personal playground. I’m a curious man by nature and I like to…” Creel tilted his head from side to side, “figure things out. Some people have knitting as a hobby, I have The Pit.”

“Great,” Robin nodded sarcastically. “Well, why don’t you throw Kas down there and I’ll wait up here.”

“Oh, Kas is plenty familiar with The Pit, aren’t you, my boy?” Creel smiled at him wide. “On both sides, isn’t that right?”

Eddie tried not to let any shift in his expression show. It made his blood run cold to think of the things he’d done. The things Creel had directed him to do. He never wanted to, never enjoyed it the way his boss had and they both knew it. 

Whenever Eddie was due to be taught a lesson, it would be a toss up as to whether he’d be fucking up some poor unlucky soul or he’d be the one getting fucked up.

It just depended on what mood Creel was in that day.

Creel’s grin turned sharp, like he could hear Eddie’s inner thoughts anyway.

“I will say, I thought I might have to send him down there again. When I gave him his most recent mission, he pitched such a fit. But he did such a good job today, didn’t you?” Creel’s eyes pierced through him. “With your sweetheart.”

Creel hissed the word out and Eddie couldn’t stop the flinch on his face, clenching his jaw tight and balling his hands into fists while Creel watched him, hungry and greedy and delighted.

With a slow drag of his eyes, Creel looked back down at Robin.

“Are you a curious person, little bird?”

“I doubt I’m the kind of curious you’re looking for.”

Creel shrugged. “That’s okay. I think I’m curious enough for the both of us. Tell me, Robin, if I were to break your legs and your arms, just by twisting them around,” he mimed doing it, like he was tightening a screw, “and then I just… kept twisting,” he was watching her face, drinking in the badly concealed horror and fear there, “what do you think would happen?”

“I…” she swallowed. “I don't know.”

“Neither do I.” He smiled. “But I can't wait to find out.”

Something both inside and outside the room shifted. 

Robin looked like she was rearing up to headbutt Creel as hard as she could or run away while Creel looked like he was eager for her to try. 

Outside the office something slid down the wall. They could hear the small thump through the closed door as whatever it was hit the ground.

Eddie’s heart completely stopped for a moment, wondering if everything just got fucked up. 

He expected to turn back and find Creel glaring at him, suspicious and endlessly paranoid as he was, or gesturing for him to check what it was but instead he was staring out of the window, looking over the back of his expansive estate.

From this vantage point, high up, he could see almost everything.

It was why he chose this room for his office, so he could see everything.

Creel’s garage door was shuttering to a close, there were multiple tracks through the snow from people running back and forth, the slightest glint of a green laser sight glancing off the snow against the window, following Creel as he shifted.

Everything went to shit from one second to the next.

Eddie had barely managed to close his fingers around his gun before Creel had Robin around the throat, spinning the two of them so she was held tight between him and the window like a shield.

“Don’t you move a fucking inch.” He growled back at Eddie.

Robin struggled against his grip but stopped with an inhale, something pressed into her back.

Once the two of them had shuffled out of range of the window, he turned back to Eddie, who was still frozen in place, fingertips grazing his gun, not daring to move lest the glint of sharp silver in Creel’s hand buried itself in Robin’s back.

Eddie didn’t bother to hide his contempt, his fucking hatred for his boss anymore, the jig was up, but Creel didn’t flinch, just met his gaze with disgust and indignation.

“You think you can betray me, you little shit? You think you can take me down? Well, you just wait, Kas. I’ll make your whole family suffer for this and I’ll make sure it’s fucking slow.”

“My family isn’t under your thumb anymore. Your agents have been eliminated.” Eddie hissed back, fingers flexing, just waiting for an opportunity, an opening. “You don’t have anything over me.”

Under their words Eddie could hear the sounds of fights and gunfire going off around the estate. 

Apparently the message that everything had gone to shit and it was the time to attack and not just sneakily infiltrate had been communicated.

From the look on Creel’s face, he could hear it as well.

“It’s over, Creel.” Eddie could feel the hatred, the anger, the fucking rage swirling around him. “I gave the Agency everything. All your tricks, all your escape plans, your backup plans, your panic buttons… every single contingency plan you have in place, they’ve disabled them all. It’s over.”

Creel scoffed. “You really sold me out like a little bitch because I sent you to kill some piece of ass?”

The office door was kicked open and a figure burst through, bloody bandage over his ear where his communicator had once sat, his eyes hard and a gun cocked and levelled at Creel’s head.

“You’re damn right he did.” Steve said.

Robin had opened her mouth to say something, staring wide eyed at Steve, to curse him out, maybe to scream but no sound came out, just a vague breathy sound of shock.

Creel turned his cold but somehow alive eyes back to Eddie. “You gave them all my tricks, did you?”

Robin’s face twisted with a sharp inhale of pain as Creel’s grin split his face.

“Let’s put that to the test.”

With a great shove he pushed Robin forward, directly into Steve who immediately opened his arms wide to catch her.

Creel darted to the side, throwing himself into one of his bookcases, the facade immediately dropping as it was revealed to be a doorway that he disappeared behind, his footsteps getting quieter the further down the concealed staircase he went.

Eddie was so consumed with rage, immediately taking off after him, not stopping as Steve called after him to “wait!”

He knew he’d be leaving Steve torn. Go after him or help Robin and Eddie was pretty confident in which one Steve would choose.

He could take care of himself and Robin was injured so the answer was obvious.

He didn’t doubt that Steve would come after him eventually but hopefully by then Eddie would have ripped Creels throat out with his fucking teeth.

He had to fucking end him, he had to. He didn’t go through all this shit just to have him escape now.

Eddie crash landed so hard into the dark and narrow hallway at the bottom of the stairs, his knees buckled, catching himself against the wall but he was able to stay on his feet.

“Creel!” He screamed after him, so fucking riled up it practically burst out of his throat.

Creel had actually stopped at the end of the hallway, bent over and breathing heavily. 

Clearly his fucking yoga or whatever the fuck hadn’t prepared him to run for his fucking life.

As Eddie broke back into a sprint, content to body tackle the guy and maybe smash his fucking head to bits on the flagstones, Creel whipped around, a small cellular like device in his hands.

“You gave them everything, did you Kas?” Creel panted, standing up straight and smoothing his hair back. “Where I keep all my files? All my incriminating evidence? Everything that could put me away for a long time?”

Eddie came to a stop, flicking his eyes in between Creel’s face and the device. 

He didn’t answer.

Creel took in his silence with a slowly spreading smile.

“Do you think they’ve gotten to it yet? There’s a lot of security in that room. It’s pretty hard to break into. You should know. You’ve tried before. How many Agents do you think are currently in there?” Creel tilted his head. “A minimum of five by my estimation. To go through everything though? Probably closer to ten. Can you deal with ten more bodies on your conscience?”

Creel moved his thumb. Pressed a button. The next second the underground hallway they were in gave a violent shake, the very ground underneath shifting as the sound and shockwaves of an explosion rocked through them, nearly sending Eddie off balance.

Dust and chunks of stone and concrete rained down on top of him, getting into his hair, his lungs, his eyes.

Coughing and waving his hand in front of his face to try and disperse the cloud choking him, he was met with an empty hallway.

Creel had run off again in the commotion. 

With a growl he didn’t even recognise coming from his own body, Eddie took off after him, thankful that the tunnel they were in seemed to be holding, it wasn’t crumbling down around them.

Yet.

There was light coming through a doorway at the end of the hallway but it was difficult to tell what was beyond it, black smoke was starting to slowly filter through the air.

It was only as Eddie threw himself through the door did he realise he was in the underground garage he had led Steve through when they left the Gala, the door he had just come through, concealed, almost invisible in the wall. 

Creel wanted a car, a vehicle of some kind, he wanted to escape, to tear out of the building and into the wind.

But luckily for Eddie, luckily for them all, the Agents were ahead of them.

Though the garage was empty of people apart from the two of them, each and every one of Creel’s obscenely expensive vehicles had been rendered useless, their hoods popped open and different engine components strewn around them, their tyres slashed or removed completely. 

Even the Ford Model K that Steve had been so in love with on first sight had been disassembled, albeit more carefully than the rest of them.

Eddie supposed that kind of respect was warranted to a car that predated the Titanic.

Creel was standing in the middle of his garage, glaring up at the giant metal automatic door that refused to budge, staying firmly shut, no matter how hard he jabbed at the button on the wall.

Looked like the Agents had taken care of that as well.

Creel turned to him, something wild, almost manic in his eye, like a cornered animal ready to strike out.

“I’m disappointed in you, Kas.” He exhaled, forcefully loosening his shoulders and standing proud, though Eddie could still see the frantic calculations going on in his head, trying to figure out how to get out, trapped in an underground garage with thick black smoke slowly settling around them like a haze, trapped with an assassin he had beaten and tortured into submission, making him a killing machine against his will. “I gave you everything and this is how you repay me?”

Eddie could feel the white hot anger buzzing through his blood, making his teeth vibrate.

“Gave me everything? You took everything from me! You stole my life out from under me and what? You expect me to fucking thank you for it?”

“I expect you to be grateful for the life I provided for you.”

“The life you tricked me into! ‘Just a few jobs.’ You’d said. Enough to get me out of prison and enough to keep Wayne taken care of but it never fucking stopped and I was too fucking young and naive to understand I’d just walked myself from one prison sentence to another!”

Creel tilted his head at him, staring with wide, wide eyes. “You were such a talent, Kas. Why would I let that go? You were so useful to me.”

“Fuck you.” Eddie spat. “You destroyed my life, I don’t even know who I am anymore!”

“You’re Kas.” Creel said, as if it was simple. “I took you from some low nobody, a vigilante with no power to one of the deadliest men in the world, can’t you see that? Eddie was nobody but you are somebody.”

Eddie wasn’t sure what his fucking angle was. Did he think showering him with his fucked up version of compliments would somehow get him out of this alive?

“I think I preferred being nobody.”

Creel’s lip curled up in disgust. “You’re already a nobody.” He snapped, apparently turning his attitude on a dime, the gleam in his eye only getting more and more crazed. “I am somebody.”

Eddie dragged his gun out from its holster behind him, pointing it directly between Creel’s eyes.

“Not for much longer.”

It was like the wild thing in Creel snapped at that, teeth finally bared, sharp and vicious.

“Don’t you find it strange?” Creel asked, sinking his teeth in, trying to make it hurt. “How I appeared at exactly the right moment? When you needed help for your uncle? For yourself? Isn’t it a coincidence that Wayne needed that life saving treatment at the same time I offered you a way out? A way to make it happen?”

He grinned, wild and frantic, knowing he was dead now, knowing Eddie was going to kill him and wanting to hurt him as much as possible before that happened.

He cocked his head to the side.

“Isn’t that strange? That Wayne got sick when he did?”

Eddie was fucking blinded. He’d never really gotten it when people said their vision went red but Eddie saw fucking red.

One second he was standing across from Creel with his gun pointed at him, the next second the gun had been tossed to the side and he was on top of him.

Eddie had one hand around Creel’s throat, squeezing, while the other kept striking down, hit after hit after hit, punch, punch, punch.

Creel’s face was breaking beneath his fist, slowly splintering into a sharp and puddled mess of shattered bone and lumpy flesh and all the while Creel was laughing.

It was getting harder to breathe.

Sobs were crawling up Eddie’s throat. 

All he could see was Wayne, strung out and weak on his hospital bed before he got well enough to take his dialysis at home, reaching out for him with a shaking hand.

Sitting on his recliner in the trailer, trying to keep his spirits up while he was left exhausted by the treatment.

Wayne sitting him down and telling him, since this happened, he had revised his will ‘just in case, kid’ to make sure that Eddie got everything, that Eddie had whatever he needed once he was gone.

The breath in him that wasn’t being cut off from the lump in his throat was being choked out of him by the dense black smoke surrounding him.

He couldn’t get a full lungful, couldn’t breathe in properly.

It felt wet.

It felt wet on the inside.

Something was stopping him, something was stopping him breathing.

It was only when he physically couldn’t punch anymore, when the strength drained from him, quickly, far quicker than he thought it should, Creel having been silent below him for a while, did he look down and see it. 

Creel’s knife, the one he’d used to stab Robin, was sticking out from between his ribs.

It wasn’t the first time Eddie had been stabbed, but it was definitely the first time he hadn’t noticed.

Shit.

He was going to die. 

It didn’t come as much of a shock as he thought it would.

He always expected to die unexpectedly in this line of work.

But he had thought it would be in the middle of a gunfight or some assassin sent after him, able to creep up on him when he was sleeping, though he slept so little.

He hadn’t had a good night's rest in… well. Not since he last slept in Steve’s bed. 

But Eddie had always thought it would end like this. 

He had even expected it could have ended at Creel’s hand. 

Well, he was right about one thing then.

But at least he took Creel down with him.

At least he avenged Wayne.

At least it wouldn’t have all been for nothing. 

His body was slipping.

His back hit the ground, to the side of Creel. 

He fell into warm wet.

Eddie’s blood was all over the floor.

Maybe that’s why he felt so cold, even though the blazing fire above was starting to creep down through the ceiling, bright orange flames slowly licking their way down from the room Creel had exploded.

It probably wouldn’t take very long for the whole thing to collapse down on top of him.

Maybe that would make it quicker.

There was a chunk of Creel’s brain next to his face.

Gross.

At least he could die knowing his people were safe. 

Robin was safe now too. She must be. Steve wouldn’t have let anything happen to her.

Steve would be safe as well. He would have gotten her out, made sure she was okay.

Eddie just wished he could’ve seen him one last time.

He’d probably be a little fucked up about all of this but he’d move on. He was too pretty and too bitchy and too perfect to be alone for long.

“Baby!”

Eddie opened his eyes.

It took a lot longer than he thought it should, just to get them open. 

He hadn’t even realised he’d closed them.

Steve was crouched above him, looking frantic, panicked. Eddie could tell, even though he had some kind of fabric covering his mouth and nose. 

Well, no wonder. 

There was fucking fire everywhere.

He had a nasty burn over his arm, but he didn’t seem to care, just reached down for him.

“Sweetheart.” Eddie grinned up at him, a little delirious, “What’re you doin’ here?” 

Oh, it was hard to push the words out. They wouldn’t form properly. 

That was frustrating.

“Shoudn’t be here.” He nuzzled his face into Steve’s hand. He didn’t know when it had gotten to his cheek, but it was there now. “S’dangerous.”

“You fucking idiot.” Steve hissed at him, his eyes dripping. “In what fucking world do you think I wouldn’t follow you?”

Eddie hummed a smile out.

“Can’t follow me where I‘m goin’ now. Shouldn’t.” He tried to shrug, but his body wouldn’t move. Steve was doing something above him, he wasn’t sure what. All he knew was that his hands were moving and his arms were moving.

“Watch me.” Steve snapped back. “I’ll drag you back by the hair if I have to.”

Eddie tried to stifle a giggle at that, though it never made it out of his mouth anyway. He tried to make himself say “I like it when you pull my hair,” but his mouth refused to cooperate.

Everything was still drifting.

He opened his eyes again, it took an awful lot of effort and he was pretty sure he couldn’t feel much of anything anymore. There wasn’t really pain or heat, just a dull and cold numbness.

But he had to let Steve know.

“I love you.”

Steve was above him, arms around him. The ceiling wasn’t so on fire anymore. There was less smoke.

“Don’t.” Steve shook his head at him. “Don’t give me goodbyes right now. Tell me after.”

“Wanna tell you now. I do. I love you.”

Steve closed his eyes above him, taking a big breath in. When he opened them again, Eddie smiled.

Such a pretty honey-brown.

“I love you too.”

Eddie’s smile grew wider, everything went fluid, all of it swirling around him.

And then it was dark.

Part 1 Part 16 AO3

@geekymagicalpotato @estrellami-1

Big thanks as always to @hbyrde36 for the magnificent beta work and to the @strangerthingswritersguild for their motivation

[pandenewie]

22 - Family Vacation

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AN: Mr Jeon has slowly morphed into Wonwoo from Seventeen so yeah

It’s 6am when Y/n finds themself knocking on an unfamiliar apartment door. God, they just pray that they got the right number. After minutes of waiting and a number of knocking attempts, each louder than the last, the door finally swings open.

“Who the hell is awake at this time of -”

“Are you Jay Park?”

The man looks visibly confused at Y/n’s interruption. “Uh… depends who’s asking?” He asks, clearly skeptical of a random high schooler standing at his doorstep at 6 in the morning. 

“I’m Y/n.” They introduce themself, watching the man’s reaction as the cogs begin turning in his brain. “Wait, Jungwon’s Y/n?” He asks with wide eyes. With the new information, he opens his door further, inviting Y/n into his apartment.

“Sorry about the mess, I wasn’t exactly expecting guests. And then this asshole decided to come over and get drunk at like, 2 this morning.” Jay says, gesturing to the guy passed out on his couch. Y/n thinks they can recognise him as one of Jungwon’s other friends, but they can’t put a name to face this early in the morning.

“Jake, wake up.” Jay mumbles, picking up a pillow and throwing it at the sleeping figure. Jake lets out a groan, flipping off his friend before rubbing his hands over his face. “What time is it?” He asks with a groggy voice. “Too damn early, that’s for sure.” Jay mumbles, pushing Jake’s legs to make room on the couch. “Make yourself at home, Y/n.” He continues, gesturing to the empty armchair placed horizontally from the couch.

As soon as Y/n is seated, the grilling from Jay begins. “Why are you here? Especially at 6 in the morning? And how did you find my apartment?” “Context clues from talking to Jungwon.” Y/n shrugs, only seeming to confuse him more. “That’s some stalker shit.” Jake mumbles, earning a smack on the leg from Jay. “Ow, bro, be gentle! I’m in a fragile state right now!” Jake whines, causing Jay to roll his eyes.

“As for why I’m here, it’s kind of a long story…” Y/n trails off, causing Jay to look at them with a blank expression. “It’s 6 in the morning, I quite literally have nothing else to do.” Sighing, Y/n thinks for a moment about the best way to sum it up. “Basically, I got suspended which means I’m not allowed to go on the senior trip that Jungwon planned - which is today. He was pretty bummed about it all so I was thinking, is there a way I can get in? Then I saw that the campsite still had cabins available so I booked one and I thought I could go and surprise him. And I need a ride so I’m asking you.”

If Jay could get any more confused than he already is, it is certainly evident on his face. It’s silent for a few moments and it finally sets into Y/n’s brain just how insane this is. Finally, after an awkward staring contest, that lasted much too long for anyone’s liking, Jake breaks out into fits of giggles.

“Oh my god!” He gasps, clutching his chest as he falls into Jay’s shoulder. “This is like a fucking movie!” Jay quickly shushes his friend, scolding him for laughing and being so loud. When this doesn’t work (partially due to Jake’s half-drunk state, partially due to him not taking Jay seriously) Jay results in pressing his palm against Jake’s mouth, muffling his giggles.

“Okay so… that’s kind of insane. In like… a cute way?” Jay mumbles, still trying to rack his brain around everything. “Do I have to… do anything?” He continues. “Not really? Just drive there, hang out in the cabin and then drive me back?” Y/n asks, pulling out the puppy-dog eyes in hopes that if all else fails, that will make him agree.

Jay likes to pride himself on being a very rational person. He likes to think things through and make sensible decisions that will benefit both him and others. Going on an impromptu 2 day holiday with a stranger so they can sneak into their school camp is anything but rational. It’s risky, reckless, and by the sounds of it, not even fully planned out to begin with.

“Okay… but you’re coming with us.” He agrees, slapping Jake, who had fallen back asleep, on the thigh - waking him up once more. If he’s going to do something this insane, he at least needs his much more recklessly inclined friend to fall back on.

“What’s with the low face?”

A sudden voice snaps Jungwon out of his thoughts. He pulls his attention away from the bus window and turns around to find Wonyoung sitting in the seat next to him. “What do you mean?” He asks, causing her to roll her eyes. “I mean this in the nicest way possible… you look like a kicked puppy.” She says.

“I thought you were pretending you were in a sad music video at first… but then I saw you weren’t listening to music.” Ricky says from the seat behind them, leaning over to ruffle Jungwon’s hair. “Cheer up buddy! You can still have fun on the trip without Y/n here.”

Ricky’s words seem to cause realisation on Wonyoung’s face. “But Hiyyih mentioned something about Y/n coming?” She asks, confused, causing Jungwon to sigh. “I don’t know… they said something about being here no matter what. I have no idea what they’re doing.” Jungwon mumbles. He can’t tell which emotion is more difficult at the moment, the disappointment of Y/n not being on the trip or the anxiety about whatever they have planned…

The sudden blasting of the car horn causes Y/n to jump slightly from their position in the passenger seat. Jay mumbles an apology as he rolls down his window, yelling at Jake to “hurry up” and “just grab shit”

A few moments later, Jake walks out of the convenience store, hood up, dark sunglasses perched on his nose, and arms full of an assortment of snacks. He slides into the backseat of Jay’s car, emptying his treasures onto the floor and laying down. 

“I think the worker thought I was high.” Jake mumbles, pulling his hoodie down to hide his face even further. “You sure you aren’t?” Jay jokes, reaching back for the bag of lollipops that Jake had brought. Slipping one into his mouth, he motions for Jake to sit up which earns a groan from the younger boy. “Dude, I’m still tipsy.” Jake whines, kicking his feet like a child. “At least put your seatbelt on! I do not need anyone dying on this trip.” Jay rolls his eyes before finally starting the car.

Y/n starts to think that maybe this wasn’t the greatest idea…

“We haven’t even been here for half an hour!” Jungwon whines, as Wonyoung and Ricky grab an arm each and drag him out of the cabin. “Come on, Jungwon! We’re versing Hiyyih and Hikaru in badminton and we need a ref.” Wonyoung says, causing Jungwon’s eyebrows to furrow. “It’s a casual game. What do you need a few for?” He asks. “To stop Hiyyih from cheating. She looks sweet but that girl is a menace.” Wonyoung sighs.

Jungwon attempts to complain further but is shushed by his friends, claiming that he needs to be more sociable. Jungwon pulls his arms from their grip, attempting to run back to the safety of his cabin. This works to no avail, as Ricky quickly catches up and throws Jungwon over his shoulder. “People would think you’re being kidnapped.” Ricky jokes, as the three walk to the far end of the campsite, where the badminton court is.

“So… you just happened to be going on a… family vacation… at the same time and same location as the senior trip?” Mr Jeon asks, eyeing Y/n skeptically. Running into one of the teachers was a given. Thankfully, Y/n has perfected the art of lying.

“I don’t know what to tell you, Mr Jeon, they surprised me with the trip last minute. I didn’t even know where we were going.” Y/n shrugs. Mr Jeon doesn’t seem all that convinced, as he looks back to the car, which Jay and Jake are currently getting the bags out of. “And those two are…?” He asks, watching the two argue over who’s holding what. “Jake’s my cousin. He's just come from Australia and Jay’s… his boyfriend.” Y/n spills, saying the first thing that comes to mind. “Right… well, I suppose I should speak with them and go over some ground rules.” Mr Jeon sighs, pushing his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. “Sure thing.” Y/n smiles brightly, skipping over towards their “cousin” and his “boyfriend”.

“Mr Jeon’s coming to talk to you two. Jake, you’re my cousin who just flew in from Australia. Jay, you’re his boyfriend.” Y/n speaks quickly, causing the two to look at them with wide eyes. “Why are we dating?” Jay asks, slightly annoyed. “It was the first thing I thought of. Just act natural.” Y/n replies. Jay rolls his eyes in response before shoving a water bottle against Jake’s chest, mumbling for him to “sober up” as Mr Jeon approaches the trio.

“Hi, Jay and Jake is it? I’m Jeon Wonwoo, one of Y/n’s teachers.” He introduces himself cheerfully, holding his hand out for them to shake. His eyes widen slightly when they land on Jay, and his eyebrows furrow slightly in confusion. “Jongseong?” He adds, causing Jay to laugh sheepishly. Jay immediately matches Mr Jeon’s smile, shaking his hand firmly. “Nice to see you again, sir.” He says. “You two know each other?” Y/n asks, confused. “I taught Jongseong a few years ago… you go by Jay now?” Mr Jeon asks, causing Jay to nod. “Yeah, Jongseong feels like I’m being scolded.” He jokes, causing Mr Jeon to laugh. “Well, I’m certainly in no position to do that anymore.” He comments, holding his hand out to Jake now. Jay nudges Jake to accept it, and he gives Mr Jeon a short, silent handshake. Jay’s laugh breaks the awkward silence. “Sorry about my… boyfriend… he’s still a bit jet lagged.” Jay says, hoping the disgust isn’t evident in his voice as he mumbles the word boyfriend.

“Yes, Y/n mentioned you’ve come from Australia. Now, I’m certainly not trying to cause any trouble for you, especially since you’ve come all this way to spend time with Y/n. But are you aware of their current school situation?” Mr Jeon asks, earning an enthusiastic nod from Jake. “Yes! We couldn’t be prouder!” Jake exclaims, causing Jay to roll his eyes. “He’s talking about the suspension, babe.” Jay mumbles, the term of endearment being a secret message of “get your shit together”. “Oh yes, that we’re very disappointed with.” Jake attempts to collect himself.

“Right. Well, as much as we wish Y/n could have joined us on this trip, the suspension, unfortunately, made that impossible. I just want to make it clear that despite being in the same campsite, Y/n will still not be joining us for any of the school-related activities with the other students.” Mr Jeon points out. “Yes, of course. We’re certainly not here for that.” Jake nods. Y/n can’t help but roll their eyes. Way to sell it, Jake.

“That’s not to say that Y/n has to completely avoid the other students. There are scheduled free time slots where students are free to roam the camp and do whatever they please. If Y/n wishes to hang out with their friends during this time, they are welcome to.” Mr Jeon says. “Thank you for being so accommodating. We will try our best to get out of your hair.” Jay says. “That’s not a problem. Well, I should let you three get back to your vacation. I presume I will see you all around.” Mr Jeon bids goodbye before going off to find the students.

“God, why did it have to be Mr Jeon? He was the only teacher I actually cared about in high school.” Jay groans, locking the car as the three start walking towards their cabin. “He probably let us off easy because he knows you.” Y/n states. “But now he thinks I’m dating Jake of all people.” Jay complains, causing Jake to let out an offended scoff. “What’s wrong with dating me?” He asks. “You’re half drunk at 10 am, wearing socks and sandals and all you’ve eaten today is dried ramen and gummy bears.” Jay deadpans. “Sounds like a catch to me.” Jake shrugs, pushing his friend out of the way to get into the cabin.

As soon as the three are inside the cabin, Jake immediately flops down on one of the beds. “So what’s the plan on finding Jungwon?” He asks. Y/n shrugs in response, pulling out their phone to check their messages once again. “My friend said she’d text me updates on what they’re doing. But that was almost an hour ago.” They mumble, quickly typing out another message.

“Well, you have fun with that. I’m going to take a nap.” Jay says, pushing Jake over so there’s room on the bed for him to lie down. “Dude, what? I thought we were gonna hang out?” Jake asks. “We passed a games room on the way. They have a ping pong table and everything.” He adds, reaching over for the brochure on the bedside table, which lists the number of activities the campsite offers. “Leaving this cabin means running into Mr Jeon again. And I do not want to keep pretending we’re dating.” Jay rolls his eyes. “Well boyfriend, I don’t care. I’m going to drag you around this whole damn park and you’re going to love every second of it.” Jake huffs.

“Hiyyih just texted me, she said their first activity starts in half an hour so they’re just playing badminton for now. You two have fun with… whatever this is.” Y/n says, getting up to leave the cabin. “Text me when you’re coming back. I don’t want you getting lost in the woods.” Jay mumbles. Y/n sends him a simple thumbs up before going to find the others.

“Why the fuck is the badminton court so far away?” Y/n asks loudly, as they finally spot their friends in the near distance. The sudden voice causes all their heads to turn in the direction of the noise. “Y/nnie! You made it!” Hikaru screams, running to jump into Y/n’s arms. “Why are you acting like I’ve been gone for a year?” Y/n asks, laughing slightly as they set Hikaru down on the grass. “You basically have. Come on, Jungwon’s going to freak.” Hikaru exclaims, grabbing Y/n’s hand and dragging them towards the rest of the group.

“The main character has arrived.” Wonyoung jokes as Y/n walks towards the group. “Thank you, thank you.” Y/n says sarcastically, bowing as if their friends were an audience. They soon find themself face to face with Jungwon, and can’t help the proud smile that spreads across their face as they take in his shocked expression.

“How are you… what?” Jungwon asks, his brain faltering as he tries to get his mind around the situation. “Surprise.” Y/n says happily, wasting no time in wrapping their arms around Jungwon’s middle. Despite still being in shock, he doesn’t hesitate to return the affection, wrapping his arms securely around Y/n. “I’m so confused.” He laughs, nuzzling his head into Y/n’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, I’ll explain everything later.” Y/n says, patting his hair affectionately. Jungwon suddenly pulls away from Y/n’s hold, worry showing all over his face.

“Wait, but the teachers don’t know you’re here?” 

“It’s fine, Jungwon.” 

“No, but they can’t know. You’re supposed to be suspended.” 

“It’s fine.”

“What about your parents? Oh my god, do they think you’re kidnapped?”

“Jungwon!”

Y/n grips his face in their hands, pulling him down slightly so they are at eye level. The sudden contact shuts him up, as he looks at Y/n, eyes wide with concern. “Everything is fine, babe. My parents, the teachers, everyone knows. There’s nothing to worry about, okay?” Y/n mumbles, squishing Jungwon’s cheeks slightly. He lets out a sigh at the reassurance, letting out a muffled “okay” due to Y/n’s hands squishing his cheeks. Y/n gently nuzzles their noses together before pressing a quick peck against his lips, cautious of the fact that their friends are still there and watching.

They soon release Jungwon from their hold, resorting to holding his hand instead. “Now that that’s settled, it looks like I’ve interrupted a very important badminton match?” Y/n asks. “Oh my god, Y/n, Ricky is literally cheating! He keeps hitting it way over our heads.” Hikaru whines. “If anyone’s cheating, it’s you. I don’t think jumping on Hiyyih’s back is in the rules.” Ricky argues back. “Sounds like we need a rematch…” Y/n hints. “Yes! Y/n and Jungwon can ref and this time, no cheating.” Wonyoung states as they get back into position to play again.

As the game starts, Y/n brings their head to rest on Jungwon’s shoulder. He squeezes their hand softly at the contact, bending down to gently kiss their forehead. “I’m really happy you came.” Jungwon whispers, nuzzling the top of their head with his nose before turning his attention back to the game. Y/n has to bite back their smile as their heart flutters slightly at the action. That’s new.

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