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insomnihan · 4 years ago

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han’s Entire Thoughts & Feelings on Dreamcatcher’s “Odd Eye”

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oh mY F UCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

there are no read mores here so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ALRIGHT SO-

OH MY F UCKING GOD THE SONG WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN WITH THIS??????????? DEAD ASS?????????????? THAT BEGINNING SOUND ALONE TRIGGERED MY FIGHT OR FLIGHT AND THEN IT JUST CALMS DOWN YET MY BRAIN IS ALREADY F UCKING LOSING IT- ITS THE GUITAR ALL THROUGHOUT AND HOW I JUST HEADBANG WITH EVERY HIT OF THAT DRUM OR WHATEVER THE F UCK FOR ME- pls calm down okay i just……………………… leez…… ollounder…………… i oWE YOU MY LIFE- the way the prechorus is so FAST???????? like whaT IN THE ACTUAL F UCK the way it hypes me up with that instrumental the DRUMS GOT ME BOUNCIN AND S HIT AND GET SMACKED IN THE FACE ODD EYE I SWEAR TO GOD I FELT A NEW EMOTION AFTER THA- AFTER THIS WHOLE SONG TO BE HONEST-

THE?????????????? LINE DISTRIBUTION?????????????? IS SO SE*Y?????????????? THE IMMENSE POWER IN SIYEONS AND YOOHYEONS VOICES I CANT- ACTUAL SUA RAPPER CRUMBS idc what yall say minuscule sua rapper crumbs THE AMOUNT OF HANDONG AND DAMI LINES IS F UCKING DELICIOUS 😩😩😩 HANDONG VERSE CHORUS AND BRIDGE?????????????? DAMI BRIDGE??????????????? ‘LIVE IT UP’?????????????? BICTH IM ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

forgot to do this for boca so imma do it here kinda

YES YOOHYEON START THE SONG

THE AMOUNT OF HANDONG?????????????????? I CANT BREATHE??????????????????????

and ofc her ooOOOooOOO-

sua rapper crumbs idc idc-

YOOHYEON AND SIYEON BEING QUEENS OF CHORUSES AGAIN ESPECIALLY THE LAST ONE GO👏OFF👏

jiu ‘no more utopia’ AND sua ‘no more utopia’ pls took me three (3) tries to type ‘utopia’

LIVE IT UP YOURE SO RIGHT QUEEN YOU BETTER RAP YOUR HEART OUT

JIU AND HANDONG CHORUS

THE F UCKING BRIDGE CHANGED MY LIFE

okay for the dance i will be using the mcountdown fancam BC I DO WANT THE F UCK I WANT 👁👁 I JUST WANNA SAY i lit rally CANNOT believe how stable they are dancing LIKE THAT™ thE POWER THEY HOLD ANYWAY as always the dance always S L A P and is literally impossible to dance to without feeling like youre absolutely f ucking d*ing and out of breath……………… LOVE THAT

THE BEGINNING EYE FORMATION ARE YOU KIDDING ME-

im delusional but lowkey deja vu clown me idc idc-

THE SUA RUNNING OUT OF THERE THE JIU THE COMPLICATED HAND STUFF

JUST👏THE👏CHOREO👏FOR👏THE👏CHORUS👏BICTH

siyeon doing this

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

putting a bullet point for just that one (1) second of dami doing That™

handong right after…………………………………

gahyeons part with the other members doing different moves my eyes liked it

THE ENTIRE BRIDGE I DONT NEED TO SAY ANYTHING ELSE

like jiu and dami with handong ive literally watched that for five hours-

i just like the way they lined up and needed it to be linked here

THE SPIN THAT K*LLED US ALL

THE KICK THAT SENT US SIX FEET UNDER

S C R E A M……………………………………………………… Iconic™

DO YOU SEE THE BUDGET IN THE VISUALS JESUS CHRIST- the f ucking set up all of the effects!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! all of the lights!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! all of thE GLOWING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the black and white set and theyre wearing red…………………… the red and white set and theyre wearing black…………………… that purple and green place…………………… the tree and random nature but everything is so futuristic looking…………………… dunno why yoohyeon is in a graffiti covered restroom but im LIVING for it- SIYEON SURROUNDED BY THOSE TVS DAMI IN THAT TRAIN THAT MULTICOLORED PLACE WHEREVER SUA IS EXCUSE ME- I COULD LITERALLY NAME EVERY SCENE IN THIS DAMN MUSIC VIDEO AND THEY👏ALL👏SLAP👏HARD👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

TIME TO SHOW WHICH SCENES I LIKED

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THE WHOLE F UCKING THI-

jk ill name some😊😊😊again id name everything but ill just show one i liked more than others bc this is alreADY TOO DAMN LONG-

this is self restraint btw

I FEEL THREATENED-

helL YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND IF I CRIED????????????????????????

this is here for no reason other than bc i wanted it here-

OOP-

OOP- x2

………………………………… F-

WHY OFC I HAVE TO PUT THIS HERE

ABSOLUTELY…………………………… ABSOLUTELY

OH F CUK-

it was this or the close up shot either way it k*lled me

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

😦

OH NO-

OOP- x3

😔😔😔😔😔😔😔

honestly let me just mention i really clowned and set myself up for heartbreak bc the album is only called ‘road to utopia’ but i assumed theyll find utopia bc thats how trilogies work but then this slaps me in the face- what im saying is im 🤡

T H E M

oK A Y SO THIS POST IS LONG ENOUGH ALREADY LIKE GODDAMNIT COULD I JUST SHUT UP FOR TEN (10) MINUTES PLS- SO HERE ILL JUST SAY ONE (1) WORD………………………………………………

W O M E N™

plus this truly is long enough good god-

JIU

OH BICTH SHE GRABBED ME BY MY NECK RIGHT AT THE START WHEN SHE JUST POPPED UP- lemme just talk about this screenshot for a second the STREAKS IN HER HAIR and THE PIERCING???????? THE JACKET???????GOOD GOD????????? L I S T E N her outfits during the dance scenes the R E D especially jeSUS- its that red one for me im pretty sure some of yall saw me go F E R A L™ on the dashboard about it so i WILL NOT go into it again- and theN THAT DRESS A F CUKING QUEEN LOVE TO SEE IT

SUA

ONCE AGAIN I HAVE TO BRING UP THE VERY START WITH THAT SLOW MO- RED👏IS👏HER👏COLOR 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 the dark hime cut………………… the choker on both the red and the black is it the same one doesnt matter im d*ad……………… yo her wavy hair and that dress when it looked like she was in some hair shampoo commercial bicth i liVED FOR THAT- and theN T H I S YES THIS THAT IN THE SCREENSHOT the leather and the jacket the writing on her face i waNT HER TO BEAT ME WITH THAT LIGHT-

SIYEON

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY IM LITEREALLY CRYINNG

I SWEAR TO GOD I SCREAMED EVERY TIME SHE WAS ON THE SCREEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pls breathe yes i see that orange coat with the collar and her two different colored eyes and how she is sitting in that chair i see her looking so fine in that red outfit especially near the end of the mv oh mY GOD- those pants yall bringing that style back from boca literally let me bREATHE FOR LIKE TWO (2) SECONDS

HANDONG

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LISTENLISTENLISTENLISTEN my eyes legit started tearing up when i saw her so soon in the mv yall DO NOT understand the emotions im going through to rewatch this mv again and again anD- iiiIIIIiiII CANNOT FULLY EXPRESS MYSELF BUT I JUST WANNA DIRECTLY MENTION THOSE CRYSTALS AND HER HIGH PONYTAIL SHE MADE F UCKING SURE TO SHOW OFF HOW POWERFUL SHE IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOOHYEON

YOOHYEON WITH BUNS??????????????????? THAT LIPSTICK COLOR RIGHT AT THE START???????? THAT OUTFIT WITH THE RED PLAID SKIRT????????? like when you REALLY look at the outfit the polkadot jacket and the tie makes not a lot of sense but she made it woRK!!!!!!!!! okayokayokay her lip ring and dance outfits lets talk about it to be honest its something about that chain that hangs on her torso that makes it really hit………………… but like the entire outfits HIT™ she ripped her pants didnt she

DAMI

I CANT STAND THIS WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tell me why for literally one (1) second of that ‘live it up’ it snapped my neck???????? it was HARDLY A FLASH OF LIGHT YET IT WAS ENOUGH TO HURT ME- i prefer her short hair but listen the longer hair is making so many points rn- i think i said that for boca too… SHES LITERALLY SITTING YALL AND YET HERE I AM- the jacket the necklace the gloves and then that dramatic spin and the leaves OH MY GOD- DID YALL👏SEE THE WAY👏SHE KEPT👏FEELING👏HER NECK👏👏👏👏👏👏👏!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GAHYEON

GAHYEON THE WOMAN YOU ARE- i wanna start with the black hair and thee stickers look bc i wanna buT WE LOVE NOIR BY SUNMI but like i love that look like overall????????????? she literally wears the same outfit for that and this screenshot but the vibe is so different i LOVE this purple color she got going rn and that black hair IS A STATEMENT imma be more open here about it but lowkey i am genuinely missing her dark hair rn- anyway THAT DESIGN AROUND HER EYE WITH THAT RED OUTFIT BRUH DO I D*E-

BONUS TIME: B-SIDE TRACKS (short thoughts and parts i liked)

Intro

IVE NEVER BEEN SO FERAL IN MY LIFE

Wind Blows

this instrumental……………………… holy god????????????? its chill for like a second in the beginning and then it just YEETS you in- imma be real i wasnt sure about that ‘wind blows’ part i dunno why i ……… into it at first but yknow whaT THATS ONE OF THE BEST PARTS DAMIS RAP I SWEAR- but then the prechorus parts are so chill??????????? is it bc its handong its probably bc its handong ‘always be with you like gravity’ siyeon pls- it gives me the same energy as tension and break the wall where i feel like i jusT GAIN ALL THE STRENGTH AND CONQUER THE WORLD yes i saw the dance multiple times it k*lled me every single time

Poison Love

literally what the f uck- when i heard it in the highlight medley i knew i was gonna LOVE this like i cant stand how much i love their sexy bops like dami got me immediately ‘why do you?’ YOURE RIGHT DAMI WHY DO I- you could NEVER go wrong with lower register dreamcatcher NOTHING👏CAN👏GO👏WRONG👏 DAMI AND GAHYEON THEIR RAPS JESUS CHRIST i put my hand on my heart i was so taken aback- maybe i went back to replay it a few times when i was listening to it and then handong……………………………………………………… UH ANYWAY-

4 Memory

JIIIIIIIIIUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE LOVE THE HAPPY AND BOUNCY AND FUN BOP OF THE ALBUM- like ive said this to a few moots that this song just makes me happy and lifts up my mood its the little instrumental parts in the chorus for me i dunno what it is its just pleasant to my ears and then damis rap is so fun like :cccccc cute- like this is a song about the seasons and wanting to be with someone (well jiu help write this is this about like insomnias or am i a stupid clown-) like i REALLY WISH i could express how much i enjoy this song but i would just be repeating myself that its a feel good happy song!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

New days

DAAAAAAAAMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LIKE i dunno how to describe the energy this song holds except ‘friendship energy’- its literally the guitar all throughout the song for me LIKE i feel like im just wrapped in a nice hug BUT NOT JUST ANY KIND OF HUG its the kind that the other person opened their jacket and theyre holding me and their jacket is around me listening to this song yall i kinda wanna cry i dunno- everyone sounds so lovely especially jiu pls her voice is so soft and DAMI OFC HER RAP GETS A HELL YEAH™ FROM ME like the ‘find you’ AND THEN AT THE END ‘FOUND YOU’ IM 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 (if yall cant see its the pleading puppy eyed emoji)

LIKE WHAT A WAY TO START THE F UCKING YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im so in awe of everything about this as SOON AS SOON I SAY i saw the very first photo teaser and i COULDNT STOP LISTENING TO THE HIGHLIGHT MEDLEY AND THE TEASER WITH THE SUITS AND THE DRINKS IS STILL LIVING IN MY HEAD- alright alright ill calm down for this part but its one of my FAVORITE ALBUMS FOR👏SURE👏 like i really cant think of any criticisms regarding anything about it!!!!!!!!!!!! since im posting this after promotions are over (odd eye promotions anyway) i will just say im EXTREMELY proud of what we have accomplished as fans and what the girls have achieved during this era!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it was hella wild all around and i am once again saying that im very happy to be an insomnia <3<3<3<3<3<3<3

and ONCE AGAIN JUST ONE (1) MORE TIME RIGHT BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

IN CONCLUSION: THIS ALBUM TAKES ME TO AN ENTIRELY NEW WORLD AND IM GONNA LIVE IT UP

AND AS ALWAYS:

#(i dunno what is up with these i always end up under the weather when i need to do these 😔)#BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITHC!!!!!!!!!!#BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITH C!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#YALL IM STILL LOSING MY S HIT™#THE ANXIETY LEADING UP TO THE MV RELEASE WAS WORTH EVERY SECOND #NEVER👏DISAPPOINT👏#EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#dreamcatcher #han.txt #han's mv afterthoughts

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stray-tori · 4 years ago

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TPN S02E09 - Initial Thoughts (anime-only)

[ Reaction video w/ captions/subs ] we collectively have a breakdown about the pen, please enjoy it pff-

... hmmm... yeah I... ain’t feeling it. I think my tpn feelings overall are carrying this more than anything pff. I didn’t hate it, it was just...... mediocre... like if this wasn’t tpn, I probably would have dropped it at this point.

BUT IT IS TPN SO LET’S GIVE SOME THOUGHTS.

. Random thoughts I don’t want to re-arrange

when Emma was like “share your pain with us!!”, I liked how Norman turned to Ray like “Ray. help. tell her I’m right” kind of like Ray did in s1 pfff-

Norman cried the words he didn’t allow himself to say in s1 :( I’M EMOTIONAL. it might not be the icing on the cake execution wise but GOD MY HEART. And knowing he’s going to die to it’s just- (well not if the pen has something to say about it but more about that later)

where- wheres my trio hug :((( RAY HUG THE CHILD NOW

it’s interesting that while Emma got the entire emotional speech spotlight, only Ray got a reaction shot to “I won’t live long”?? equivalent.... exchange...?

I thought Norman had a seizure when he broke down in front of Emma and Ray and I kinda wish he had because while it’s good to have him say it outright (a win for communicationnn), imagine THE ANGST. “I want to live with yo- *coughs up fountains of blood*”.

So. yknow that hideout Cislo or Vincent referenced when talking to Emma and Ray. Yknow where Norman hid the children they stole from farms, making it look like demons did it? ... w-what about them? will we see them? Are they getting left behind? it would have worked for Norman’s plan, since all they had to do was stay put and wait for demons to be yeeted. But now... he’d have to take them all too. But... I doubt we’re gonna introduce a bunch of new designs and characters? Or are we? Who knows. I don’t. I have unreasonably amount of protecc feelings for those children I’ve never even seen haha- WHERE ARE THEY. I mean... the plan rn is to immediately use the gate right? or is the plan to eradicte the GF farm staff and higher ups? I guess if thats the plan it might work. Or I guess the plan is to save Phil for now???

the idea of Sonju just... slicing his arm and throwing it at demons in a loop sounds so funny to me please someone make that.

I liked that Mujika turned to the lambda kids after giving a cup to the demon children but then we didn’t see their reaction or anything and then it cuts to the temple??? that was weird. was there sth missing there? confusion.

I also like Isabella remarking "[a radio] was supposed to be there" regarding the shelter, because it further heavily implies they know of the shelters and just let them be. Which further confirms that they should have just reframed the shelter and had the kids escape from it quickly but oH WELL.

I really liked demon Emma apologizing and Norman's reaction to that. it was a sweet little moment and like, the realization of apologizing for something that she didn't do but is aware of and all that. Cycle of hatred and all that shiz hell ye. Ik the anime won't rly delve into that but I kind of relish in the angst potential of the village - sure it was undone but some were still eaten and died and transforming people back won't bring those back. So, that’s some hella terrifying implications for families; and I'm assuming Norman is aware of those so. guilt time! not that he wasn't aware it was bad but yeah- I teared up at that moment :<<

I feel like this season really does its best when it’s doing the whole two worlds/species angle. Mujika and Sonju, the village, demon and human Emma... all that stuff.

I wish we had gotten more time (god this is really the season’s downfall) thought to see Vylk talk to the GF kids more often. it’s implied he told them not to hang out there before but I would have liked to have him show up a few more times before that but yeah. Runtime very RIP.

I also feel like CW is bending over backwards to put cliffhangers at the end of episodes. that was already a problem in s1 when they had Phil come in when Don and Gilda were in Isabella's room. it was obvious it'd be a copout but they still did it. I'm just wondering why we had to have Vincent disagree with the group to this extend (and if the shock value might play a part in that). we have 2 more episodes, why are they introducing more plot threads? Just streamline it you dofuses. I just don't know what good can come of it unless it's like an ultra big brain move to help them?? (and then we're back with the forcing cliffhangers thing) - if it's actual conflict, this'll just make things more confusing and clustered, and we don't have time for that right now imo. But who knows maybe it plays into something I just don't understand yet and it'll work out somehow

. Animation flow kinda dead.

I felt like this episode was kind of... awkwardly executed whenever something that was a slightly dynamic movement happened?

The whole bit while Emma is walking up to Norman could have been better, but it’s passable, except that a lot is spelled out for us.

But then she takes his hand really weirdly in a far away shot with bad inbetween timing?? what is that haha-

Or him collapsing is cut really weirdly. you barely really see it, you just kinda piece it together from Emma’s reaction and her catching him.

Most facial expressions are good though, which is arguably the more important part in this scene. I feel like a better execution just would have elevated it even more.

The only one I felt was really awkward in its entirety is Barbara’s scene with the children demons. I felt like that was in particular kind of stiff and the cut between the child and her was too sudden and felt jarring. TPN anime doesn’t really do that sort of stuff a lot, so imo it’s kind of “??” when they do it. With Norman it was too, but that at least had a good transition over to it (with bg and fg panning) and nice animation. Barbara’s just kind of switched. Tbh don’t switch it out, and as the child screams, switch over to her facial expression as her own voice fades into the scream? I think that would have done it too and also be low effort.

I think it’s moreso the flow of the shots than the actual shots though? it’s a bit too fast paced and sometimes missing inbetweens (like the wild demon eating sonju’s hand is literally just 2 frames) - it’s very weird. It’s jarring, but I can’t really explain why.

I’m sorry for the staff, I’m sure the production hasn’t been easy. maybe with the bluray release we’ll get some updated animations/inbetweens.

Some appreciation though:

as mentioned, most of the facial expressions, even if the body language was a bit stiff.

the cut from the trio talking to the eye-transition of the demon and the following breath animation looked nice. Also his arm regenerating!

Sonju smirking as he cuts his arm off, what a bastard

they didn’t have to show Vylk’s arm regenerating casually while they’re talking but they did.

. the lambda crew

If only I cared about you guys. Hahhh it’s just... introducing characters so close to the end is just. A mess. A recipe for disaster.

Where has the anime’s “show off the younger kids” angle gone? I thought they were always pretty good at that. but they haven’t really contributed anything since the whole tidbit about the older children always eating less for them. And even then it was just Lani and Thoma.

Potentially, what segments we saw in the shelter will come back for the GF raid thematically but I’m just... EH?

. the cure pen

at this point, just stick a syringe part at the end of the stick and just inject it and it’s gonna solve everything probably.

I just don’t understand why that needed to happen. Assuming they go to the human world, it’d be perfectly acceptable for me for medicine to be so advanced that it’d be able to like, lessen their symptoms and significantly improve their lifespan.

Don’t just... REMOVE their struggles. It’s okay to not be normal and cured. it’s okay for their lives to be impacted by it going forward. In fact, I’d much prefer that.

(added in later) OH wait they literally spell out why the cure being in the pen is meaningful - because it opens up a path where they can live through not having annihilated all the demons - it's essentially the moral "reward" for not killing them. Since they probably wouldn't have gotten it if they did that. I still think it wasn't needed and the blueprint on its own would suffice for another pen-convinience moment but I kind of get what they're going for, I just don't think it's worth it . In their case, going to the human world (while they don't know it) means having more medical expertise at their disposal which they can then use to survive. UNLESS they're actually not welcome over there and have to hide or something, in that case... that might be hard, true. I guess I'll come back to think about this once it's over. For now, it feels kind of unearned and it wouldn’t even have to be this way in my eyes which makes it somewhat worse.

But good, let’s say in-universe you need it NOW, then at least don’t put??? the medicine??? recipe??? INTO the hologram.

What if they just checked the GF blueprint and Norman goes “hey, Vincent... do you think this [database/archive room] could have some data on our experiments?” - Norman said he tried to develop a drug to help them but the supporters who had that data were purged. but... they had Smee to help them too. But SOMEHOW, a dude from 15 years ago just HAS the cure??? (at least let Norman develop it himself and have the data be just THE DATA and not the recipe).

It might still check out somewhat??

15+ years ago, James Ratri was assumingly still the gatekeeper since the switch to Peter seems somewhat recent considering his big "era of James has ended" speech.

I guess the implication is that just like Smee => Krone => Norman, a supporter all that time ago gave random person the pen when they escaped.

When Vylk found him, he also had just the data medium of the pen (not the entire pen), so maybe the farm thought they eliminated it and that’s why they didn’t change their methods to not work with those drugs anymore? It's still a bit curious that their experimentation hasn't changed at all in 15 years but maybe that's because they keep killing the smart people instead of making them scientists to research for them :D

Somewhere since those 15 years, Smee gave Krone the pen (probably a few years before she got to GF?), which means that at that point the gate the keyword "future" sent them to, was still in tact when Smee gave Krone the pen. Maybe WM wasn't discovered yet at that point?

then WM got discovered, James was chased. He made that phonecall update and was probably eventually killed, along with the human location (and likely bunkers since they knew a radio was supposed to be there, begs the question why they didn't remove it) being discovered (the one with the future keyword) and the gate there being destroyed.

The problem is just that it can make sense when you think about it for way too long and assume things in good-faith, but it still feels unearned.

Maybe I would care more or this would feel a little more earned if we knew ANYTHING about that person? They seemed fairly young, so it’s probably not Minerva/James Ratri. The “hope” talk reminded me of the book in the shelter, but I’m not sure if that checks out either? The cookies were rotten but not completely. I know cookies hold out relatively long, but would they rly not be completely rotten after 15 years? I MEAN. Maybe not. Who knows. I tried to google it but didn’t find anything.

But anyway. That tidbit is going into my “shelter kids OC project” I guess.

But even if the worldbuilding makes sense, I think the data set in itself makes little sense?? How did they find that pen part? Did a supporter give it to them? Why do they have the cure? Clearly their group of escapees wasn’t doing too hot (#help) and they seemed relatively young too so they probably couldn’t have worked in the farm.

Were the shelter escapees lambda escapees? but if that was the case, wouldn’t the WM group have secured the cure information more properly than in just one pen (maybe it was and those were just destroyed, to be fair) - it’s just WEIRD to put the cure for Lambda experiments on the same blueprint as the GF layout??? that makes so little sense.

Plus, why would you send them to GF, when it’s so secured and all that, and not just send them to the human support place our GF kids were sent with the “future” keyword, which had a gate. Maybe it didn’t exist 15 years ago (that the humans had control over it, that is), but even then it seems weird to me to imply to send them to GF instead of one of the other gates that existed. I mean. The “future” location’s gate wasn’t destroyed when Krone got the pen right?

I’m guessing maybe it was meant as help for escaping? But then again, why the cure? I guess if they met lambda experiments? I’m just confused.

Also: do we just accept that the layout of GUARDS and SECURITY MEASURES has not changed in 15 years???

*sigh* welp. Still looking forward to seeing some stuff with Isabella hopefully. Time... is not on their side and it shows. Neither run-time wise nor production wise.

#tpn anime #tpn s2 #tpn anime-only #tpn #tori talks #tori has opinions

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gracefulweather · 3 years ago

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omg you did?? u have to tell me who u pull when it arrives !!

time does fly 😭 i really can't believe 2021 is almost over

tysm ! i hope you're doing well too !! ☺ yess i'm trying to find time to work on the new au haha and i keep changing the damn plot 😭 omg 😳🥺 the ateez smau, i haven't officially made a decision yet, but i think when the semester is over i'll upload the rest of what i have...and go from there ! also ty for reading 🥺

also ! i have seen 2 people fall off of their skateboards on campus and i think of ur sunwoo fic every single time i do haha

oh ! that site does work ! i'll definitely read it now when i get the chance ! that would probably be best, esp bc we dont get s2 until next december 🥲

arisa is so interesting, i love it ! like every single chapter is so amazing and mysterious akfhslfja

i wanna watch us now 👀

you stayed up?? :O i agree, they are releasing so much its so hard to keep up with, i wanna watch dnd and timeout ! esp w the new maverick series ! but i also hate how a lot of the content is only on universe :(

being a multi is so difficult 😭 i barely watch mvs in a timely matter anymore :")

halloween was fun and movies are always a good time !

exactly ! the details of their performances are insane ! yes yes yes to all ur favs ! all of the groups outdid themselves truly 😌 year end awards...im nervous 😳

ur right, the storybook ver is so cute 🥺 i loved all 3 songs too ! and i agree, the mv was good but i think they could've added more story or something

THE LITTLE BAD RAP SUPREMACY 😭😭 it is so addictive

omg yes 🥲 the stylists have been going tf off this era and i am living for it

yesss i'm so excited omg should be here sometime this week i think!! (i hope...) but did yours arrive yet?

oooh what is the plot about 👀 have only gathered that it'll be dark... and sad... with evil characters LOOL. and yes i love ur ateez smau 🥺 i sometimes find it hard to get into smaus in general but the mystery has me hooked for that one <3 oh yeah speaking of ateez, thoughts on the world tour? i'm still holding onto my 2020 tickets rn but likeeee the thought of being in such a large crowd still sounds risky to me 😭

FALLING OFF SKATEBOARDS ADKJDKJF omg every time i get random bruises i think of it :')

oooh yeah heard that they haven't even started filming borderland s2 yet 😭 oh did you watch hellbound? it's so popular rn but i didn't think it was thaaat good.... deffs a cool concept tho. but YEAHHH i wanna start arisa soon!!

was dnd the one on universe? the app actually sucks :(( i know some fanbases have been subbing/uploading it elsewhere but it seems like the vids keep getting taken down 😭 the new maverick series is so cool omg i love all the brain twisters and puzzles they do!! really hope IST decides to keep putting eng subs on their videos 😔

ahh the multi life :') how do you decide which group/member to write for?? it's hard enough choosing amongst even just one group LOL

omg i heard one of the members say that they're gonna do one of the rtk/kingdom performances at the fancon??? i'm still hoping for drink it at least once... somewhere :') and yeahh i thought the mv would be a whole storyline like golcha's mvs these days but it's nice that we got to see some acting!!

but yeahHH maverick era ended so fast </3 do you ever feel like the promo periods are too short though? i remember back in the day everyone would promote on music shows for at least a month, but i guess they're preparing end of year stuff already :')

#em <3 #ask #ur ask is gonna be buried amongst a sea of hy*nj*e just warning u alkdjf

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moonlightjeno · 4 years ago

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ok but moots assigned to fanfiction tropes!!

ahh omg dear anon thank you so much for sending this in !! I’ve been wanting to do this lol.

I feel like this might be a tad long so it shall be under the cut <3 also not @ me realizing most of my moots ult jeno asdf.

alesha [ @sungiescorner ] |

hmmmm. my first thought was college jeno au buT idk why I’m getting grease vibes. SO HYUNJAE GREASE VIBES. Like the whole 90’s (is grease set in the 90’s idk lmao) vibe with retro. basically your it’s grease but the roles are reversed !! Instead of the Alesha being the exchange student hyunjae is bc hyunjae is a soft bean. And you’re part of the schools like higher socitey thing (this is making no sense yay). But basically you’re part of the more rebellious group of the school and then you had a summer fling with hyunjae, until he appears at your school the first day. And chaos unfolds. And just bc I think tutor au’s are cute af hyunjae needs help w math and low and behold you are there to help him :)

mother in law [ @danishmiilk ] |

hehhehe. Obv we gotta go with do young your husband, and lemme tell you all we talk about is blowing up buildings. So doyoung mafia au !! Basically dy is the brains of most of the operations and one day while planning for idk blow up an sm building (we’ve had lengthy convos about this lmao) que you. who is just a genius at setting up bombs, from there sparks fly and you two become a dynamic duo (chemistry puns anyone??).

kathy [ @flirtyhyuck ] |

kathy my bb. Due to your current theme and bc I’m always down for sum badboy college au :) I wanna say a bad boy hyuck au? But in a college setting. you two first meet by accident bc your friend is in a frat and you had to be part of a project together so you walk over to the dreams frat house only for hyuck to answer the door. Now batboy hyuck tends to not be caught off guard but it’s you the person he’s been secretly pinning for most of the year so he kinda panics and gets really red. No worries chenle is there to tease him. But you still have to get your project done (little do you know this is all part of mark, jeno and renjuns plan tp get haechan to finally talk to you). So you end up waiting at their house bc rennin is supposed to be there in like ten minute, boy doesn’t show up. bUT you just spend time with hyuck and he asks you out by the end of it. This got long :)

bean ree [ @rouiyan ] |

Ree, my sweet bean !! My first thought when it comes to you is college au’s lol because you so good and amazing at writing them !! buT we WERE TALkINg ABOUT ROYALTY AU’S !! So royalty au w jeno omg. okie dokey, so you are both royals kinda. it’s a little bit enemies to lovers au whereas the second oldest (brother being first) you aren’t allowed to reign so bc of tradition (bad tradition) you have to marry into royalty of sorts. introducing lee jeno son of the lee’s who though not the strongest country are known for their activities and just tourism because their country is beautiful. you are shipped off to nct country to spend some time with your future husband. Now you don’t really hate jeno but you hate the idea of being shipped off to marry hence those feelings causing hate and aggressions towards jeno who is just like trynna be a nice and understanding bean (like he doesn’t want this either, and he’d just broken up with his s/o ). Fast forward three months and you slowly come accustomed to the place, learning about its government, and jeno begins to also warm up to you. Though you still don’t talk too much it gets better and you bond over the internal struggles that both of you have and slowly start to develop feelings for each other. but you still wanna have a say so your families agree that you won’t just be married but that you’d have power in both kingdoms kinda like an ambassador and im gonna stop here bc this is very long im soRRY.

sunny [ @neocitybynight ] |

bc blonde hair jeno with an undercut made a cb for a solid day, it’s blonde jeno time. i think we’ve talked before how much we both love idol au! so you’re both part of sm, different groups but the company (look at it have one good idea (o_O) and has you and jeno collab for a rap duet (?). it’s the first time you’ve met each other, but like things just kinda click. sunny is like such a hard-working person and I feel like jeno too their both super determined so they’d get all their work done pretty quickly and then just kinda hang and talk about everything and anything. imma stop here or idk where this will go lol.

mylin [ @starlit-jeno ] |

mylin !! my queen !! Ik your in hibernation rn so pls remain in hibernation !! Base off that a cute lil just stay at home date with jeno or mingi idk either one you choose lmao. But just a super laidback like put on random movies that you talk over occasionally and make fun off but also kinda enjoy them bc even though their bad their also fun to watch and entratinging :) w lots of cuddles and hugs and random forehead kisses.

furou [ @astroboy-lele ] |

Now I’m basing this off your username and the fact that we talked about among us lmao. Less go. So space au! With chenle !! For some reason (idk why just go along with it) there have been people dying in the spaceship. So the space ship crew the adults decided to make an investigation but don’t include anyone that aren’t “adults” but chenle isn’t having it as one of the people who died was his cousin. Now you two have best friends for a really long time so naturally you support him. So you two along with bb jisung who dragged along much to his protest of this being too scary for him and because he knew that chenle was in love with you so no way was chenle letting him out of his sight. Lets just say romance blooms along the crime investigation.

cherries [ @riothae ] |

Janna likes to hurt me w jeno but I don’t blame her bc has been just ok. anyways, sports au with jeno !! im thinking dancer au !! You guys have an assignment for your choreo class and are assigned partners that specialize in a diff style than you do. Jeno gets high key nervous and stressed af bc a. He’s an introvert and is awkward around new people and b. Kinda has a small crush on you, well on your style of dancing :) so you two are paired up, lets say your majoring in contemporary/modern dance and he’s specializing in acro and hip-hop. overall it’s just a cute lil thing and because the project is a whole trimester long ( so like 3 months ) you guys get pretty close and right as you end your performance on the day you do it on front on the whole school the ending is like a twirl type thing, and umm he leans in or you lean it and boom.

elle [ @joh--pping ] |

Elle !! She’s the sweetest angel ever !! So it only makes sense for a Johnny holiday au !! it’s an established relationship and basically just a fluff of you two setting up decorations for the holidays, (idk if you celebrate xmas so ahh sorry) but like putting up a tree and lights, getting hot chocolate jamming out to xmas music. I can see Johnny trying to get you to slow dance like even during a hype xmas song and it being very cute and intimate only for him to just start like jumping up and down right before you kiss. Anyways it would be filled with cuteness and fluff and stolen kisses and occasionally taking care of mark or jae.

#this got super long asdrt but i had sm fun !!#if anyone wants to use any of the ideas feel free but credit me ig lmao #anywhoos i hope y'all enjoyed this #anon mail #mooots

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lumilasi · 4 years ago

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As a writer, do you have any tips on dealing with a writers block/lack of ideas/lack of motivation due to not getting much feedback on your work or in general?

Well, everyone is different so different things work for different people. I personally deal with a writers block by having multiple different stories going on at once, so if I get stuck with one, I write forward another, completely different story. Other times I just go and do something else, like take a walk or draw, or even take a shower. Showers for some reason seem to be good places in coming up for ideas, at least for me lmao. Getting your mind off stuff can help you come back and look at it through fresh, new eyes.

Though, sometimes the writer’s block is not lack of ideas, but rather, more connected with lack of motivation; when you know what to write but just don’t feel like doing it. In these cases I tend to just sort of...push myself to write anyway, as once I get going I eventually get over it. Procrastinating in this latter case can result in not getting anything done haha.

I think these tips kind of touch on the lack of ideas part too. Inspiration can come from the most random places so just sitting there staring at the empty first page may not really result in anything. I just kinda let my thoughts roam free and then if something piques my interest, I follow it through to see if it is worth pursuing. Generally speaking, reading a lot or watching movies can help finding some ideas; stories can inspire other stories and so on.

Oof, yeah...I kinda feel you on that lack of motivation part rn, specifically about not receiving feedback.

It’s kind of funny in a sense, how extremely demotivating lack of feedback in comment form can be. Like, you see the kudos and hits, you can tell people are reading, but not receiving comments can be really destructive for your writing enthusiasm. It makes you feel like the writing is not really worth it, even when you logically can tell from other clues people are still invested.

I’m admittedly dealing with wisps of this feeling at the moment, given, well....I’ve been receiving less and less comments in my writing, maybe two or three for an update, and with some fics, nothing at all for a long time. It has been kinda eating my motivation to write and making it a bit less enjoyable, even if I can sort of see/guess why this drop is happening, considering how chaotic the world is right now. (Part of me is wondering if my update speed is too fast too, IdK. The same time though it didn’t seem to cause issues like this before so...)

It’s such a silly thing really, because like said, I can see from other clues people are still enjoying my stories, but my brain equates no comments = no interest. It’s probably similar with lot of other writers, given I’ve seen plenty express loss of motivation when they don’t get any feedback in the form of comments.

Because I know how that feels, I tend to try and always leave some form of comment to each update to the fics I read, though admittedly rn I don’t read that many because I’m so busy writing my own stuff haha

But yeah, that can be really difficult to deal with as its sort of out of your hands?

At least demotivating stuff coming from your own life you can hopefully do something about, but lack of feedback from readers is just one of those things you can’t do much about. I guess the only piece of advice I can give to that is to remind yourself that people are still likely reading even if they don’t comment, and would probably be really sad if you stopped updating the stories they enjoy. If you still enjoy the writing process personally too, just keep going! There are probably a lot of silent fans enjoying your work even if they don’t express it directly. Commenting can be hard and people can be too shy to say anything.

Woah okay, I went on bit of a ramble about that whole feedback thingy, whoops. It just happened to be something I’m dealing with right now so I had more to say to that I guess heh.

I dunno if any of this is helpful, I’m honestly not the best at giving tips with topics like this given it all depends largely on the individual. Hopefully at least some of that was helpful!

#answered anon #writer musings #writer motivation #fic musings #I dunno motivation and inspiration are such vague concepts #that its difficult to come up with any tips for those #it all depends on the individual after all #some people get inspired by movies and books #others by walks in nature #some by their dog’s farts #wait what #okay I shut up now

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tfw-no-tennis · 5 years ago

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hunter x hunter thotz so far

soooo ruth and i started watching hunter x hunter woohoo finally! we’re like 10 or so eps in so i decided to collect some thots below on what i think so far (i havent rlly been spoiled so im interested to look back on this once ive watched more)

first off i love gon sm, hes immediately so endearing...hes just a baby!!!! just a little baby boy!!!! hes just so cute and good, im so not ready for him to get put thru the wringer later on as ive vaguely heard happens

the first few episodes were really fast paced which i enjoyed and thought was for the best. the characters came thru really strongly and i feel like we heard juuuust enough about the setting, premise, and what a hunter is

i wasnt expecting leorio and kurapika to show up in the FIRST EP lmao that surprised me. i love so much how the three of them like IMMEDIATELY became a family unit in like 3 eps lmaoooo it was like ok here are 2 parents and their son bam. also leorio and kurapika having a showdown on the boat (which didnt end up happening) was a wild ride

i have like zero fucking idea what a hunter is and the more they attempt to explain the more confused i get. its honestly kind of hilarious how little sense it makes. to be clear this doesnt detract from my enjoyment of the show at all (if anything it adds to it)

oh my god fuckgin hisoka is the worst he hasnt done much but i hate him so much already. good villain writing/design so far, hes so hateable

ruth every time hisoka shows up: WE HATE UR PUSSY BIIIITCH

the character design in this show is....a lot lmao. ruth and i decided its a cross between soul eater, jojo, and one piece in terms of aesthetic. the designs are certainly unique and so many of them are just so ugly hvbjafdbdskgs it reminds me of that post thats like ‘masterpost of jojo characters who look busted as shit’ lmao

i already love this show a lot tbh like the way its structured so far has been kinda atypical for a shounen, at least in terms of fights - we really havent seen a lot of fighting yet. also nen hasnt shown up yet and its reminding me of stands not becoming a thing in jojo until p3 lmao

anyways in litrally ep1 i already loved the 3 main characters we saw...leorio is a wild dude, i love him sm, especially as a fellow medical binch who wants MONEY. like, thats literally me. and kurapika is also wild, like damn they rlly just dropped their backstory in ep 1 huh. like we rlly are jumping right into this

also when leorio said he was a teenager i was like WHAT???? just like evryone else which YEA omfg. i cant believe hes that young lmao. kurapika too

so leorio is one of those 19 yr olds who looks 40 and kurapika is the type of teen who looks like a 12 yr old

and KILLUA i love him sm also....hes an adorable assassin catboy and hes perfect. i love how quickly he and gon hit it off (tiny bfs.....) and how hes just like, this extra as hell 12 yr old with a SKATEBOARD and ASSASSIN SKILLS and then he sees gon and is like guess im gonna fall in love

i gotta talk abt gon again i just love him. hes so polite and cute and kind and good, i just love him...wht a good protag. his motivation is just wild too, hes like well my dad abandoned me to go off and be a hunter (which he isnt even mad abt, what a nice lad) so im gonna do that to see what the deal is

i love how gon (just like the audience) doesnt really know what a hunter does/is and just goes into the exam totally blind lmao. also the fact that his skills seem to include jumping good, being speedy, having the energy typical of a 12 yr old, being a weather sniffer, being nice, and having good instincts/constitution as a result of having eaten random grass and forest shit growing up...amazing.

is this gonna turn out to be one of those things where its like, wow theyve been using nen this whole time without realizing! tht would honestly explain a lot lmao

i really enjoy how like....semi-normal the power levels are rn? while also being all over the place and wack as fucks obvs (like hisoka dissolving that guys arms in his first appearance was A Lot, as well as all the card stuff hes done..). like the part wher that blue guys (evil franky one piece) punches the ground and it leaves a crater and everyones like !!!! wow wtf thats unnatural! that literally threw me off bc that kinda thing is so normal in anime lmaoooo. but i like that thats the starting point bc it leaves a lot of room for power escalation w/out it getting too out of hand

specifially our protags are starting out pretty low on the Shounen Badass scale - especially gon (and leorio, tho i kinda predict he wont be as fight-y? what with him being premed)

i find it kinda hilarious how killua hasnt done too much (aside from murdering those 2 randos in like half a second) despite being so clearly skilled...like when they have to do the 5v5 fight thing in the tower, i wouldve thought hed be the first up cause hes so badass but nope

actually thats what i find interesting - i was expecting all 5 (or maybe 4, we’re in the middle of leorio’s ‘fight’) of the fights to be physical smackdowns but so far nope, theyve been very cerebral. that bodes well, w/how smart the fights have been, bc i doubt the fights will get stale tht way

tho they might be kinda frustrating sometimes - there are times when u DO just wanna see a good ole fashioned shounen beatdown yknow. but we do get enough of that now (and im sure we’ll get plenty more) to satisfy (like kurapika decking fake-franky)

oh also the opening. its so charming and cute and i love the song...its also so hilariously basic and classic - like one of those typical 2000s anime openings where theres stock run cycles of all the main characters and theres a little animation of all the characters fighting together (and that fight doesnt actually happen, its just for the op)

also love that leorios the only one who doesnt fight in the OP, instead getting saved from death by gon lmao. im curious if he’ll end up fighting at all (i assume a little?) and if he’ll use nen (probably healing type nen?)

also i already wanna fistfight ging for abandoning his perfect angel son. also leorio is literally gons dad already, they even look alike wow

that guy hanzo has done basically 0 things so far but i rlly like him already, im curious if thatll change. also sorry for calling u ‘hanzo overwatch!?!?!?!’ upon first viewing my guy

tonpa is str8 up so annoying pls leave u pathetic loser

tho it cracked me up when he and Evil Mr Clean were facing off and starting getting all detailed/shaded and i was like o shit is he actually badass. are we abt to see like a nen battle or st. but no....lmaooo

i found it interesting that leorio didnt really admit to wanting to be a dr at first...hes such a good dude, he kinda just let kurapika think that his motives were superficial and greedy when in actuality theyre selfless

also wanting to be rich can be a rlly interesting character motivation and i love when its done right

oh my god i cant believe it took me this long to mention the hilariously edge ED....like holy shit, its so 2000s, the song sounds like its been re-recorded like 40000 times bc of how bad the audio quality is, or something, idk how to describe music but its hilariously specific in tone and its rlly funny to see shots of the main characters smiling while this screamo whatever plays in the bg....wow.

also s/o to killua for being king of edgy with that ‘tear of blood’ shot

i rlly like how much of the plot, especially the early hunter exam stuff, is moved along simply by gon being a good kind polite boy.

love the fact that he and leorio and kurapika (and later killua) all team up without even saying anything...i love that, most shounen would have them be like ‘che, i cant team up with anyone, i have to prove myself ALONE or my victory wont be EARNED’ or w/e idk. who knows that might happen later but rn i love how they all effortlessly work together (and how they all contribute - without each other they would have all failed at different points)

oh man also killuas first appearence was so funny when he drank a bunch of tonpas poisoned drinks and was like [smirks] tch, loser, im immune to poison. get dunked on. [skateboard away] i love him so fuckgin much

omfg that part where killua looks all shoujo/kawaii and is talking abt how hes gonna kill his family or w/e and gon is just like ^_^? i love they

HOOOOLY FUCK I ALMOST FORGOT, BUT 65% OF THE REASON I MADE THIS POST WAS TO MENTION HISOKAS THEME LMAOOOOO his music being like fuckgin, spanish guitar/traditional mexican type music is sooooo goddamn funny to me for some reason, like the first time it played i was like ok whats going ON with this spanish guitar lmao but then i figured out that its his theme and god thats so funny

hisoka is also so fuckign jojo like he could so easily be in jojo. he and dio would be the fakest best friends ever and would constantly try to kill each other on the lowdown and shittalk each other constantly in private but be super sweet to each others faces. also they would hatefuck. no im not taking criticism bye

i rlly love everyones backstories also, and i find it interesting that weve gotten to hear/see at least some of all 4 of the MCs backstories. theyre all compelling and interesting and i cant wait to dive in further

also calling it now but kurapika is totally gonna get way too absorbed in revenge and get fucked up/disregard their own life (maybe in the style of robin in one piece?) we’ll see but i feel like it aint gonna end well. i could be wrong, i really havent been spoiled at all, thats just my guess

hbahjfbshjf the ep that was called ‘hisoka x is x sneaky’ was SO funny that reads like a dora the explorer ep title

also i had no idea the ep titles were formatted like that w/the x’s and thats rlly funny

ok but the part where leorio - who seems to be pretty bad at fighting - tries to fight hisoka - whose literal first appearence involved him effortlessly dissolving a dudes arms - is so fucking funny. leorio rlly b a premed w/no brain cells....same bro.

also i loved the Cutthroat Kitchen portion of the hunter exam and how not a single contestant was any good at it lmaoooo. do they not have the cooking channel in hxh-verse earth

ok i love how the main characters are all intuitive in different ways depending on their own skills, like how killua can immediately guess that kurapika has never killed anyone before after they didnt kill evil-franky

kurapika joined killua in the Edgy Corner during that part also. like, they both have legit reasons to be edgy, but the shots of kurapika sitting in the darker tunnel part was kinda funny

also killua, a literal 12 yr old, calling out kurapika for being a murder virgin was pretty hilarious

ok also i didnt know that madhouse animated hxh which is rlly funny but w/e i love the animation especially the occasional chibi parts and the facial expressions (like killuas ‘i love murder’ catboy expressions)

oh also when killua murdered those 2 guys and his hand was all vein-y and his nails were pointy, his hands looked like hisokas do...i wonder if thats a legit connection or it hisoka just b getting his nails did

kurapika talking abt how even seeing a regular spider makes them rlly angry was both very sad and kinda funny. kura u have so many issues god bless

kurapikas smackdown on evil blue franky was fuckin dope tho. and the red eyes reveal was SPOICY

rlly love how the individual fights highlights the characters strengths/morals/motivations/whatever....the writing is already really strong tbh

ugh ok ive ranted enough this is a Lot lmao its so disorganized but w/e

basically i love this series so far and im rlly curious whatll happen next. also everything seems pretty chill and upbeat so far (relatively) and i know this shit gets dark and im NOT FUCKING READY.

til next timeeee

#i think readmores are broken? sometimes? anyways i hope thats not the case and if so then im sorry everyone #im gonna schedule this for like 3 am this is just for me to ramble lmao #anyways i need a tag #uhhh #lj watches hxh #hxh #bam there we go

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rigelmejo · 4 years ago

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Ok adjustment to suddenly no flashcards is strangely weird I think it’s cause I grinded too much. On the upside, if I suddenly slack off then it’s not like it was a priority ovo)/

So I got the better version of the SpoonFed Chinese anki deck today, it’s 8000 cards. A lot of it is very basic for me. but I figure it’s still good comprehension practice, good for reviewing words I know in context (instead of in isolation), good for me practicing shadowing and production, good for me practicing seeing correct grammar.

I’m using the settings: good for good, again for the ones I need review. I heard that’s the best for the “Lazy Anki” mass immersion approach setup. I am also using easy for the cards I ALREADY KNOW completely. Because it’s fine if their intervals are huge - I know them already. Also I would like to normally use the option of 20 cards a day. I’m just bulking it up rn because I know most of the sentences and want to speed through all the completely known ones.

I’m toggling with the deck a bit - because when I learn the deck it gives me very basic sentences I could probably skip. But when I went through it in the Browse area and tried to ‘suspend’ cards I knew so I can save them in case I want them, but have them not be in my learning/reviews - I saw a lot of sentences that went from simple to complex fast! Like 1 new word or grammar point building from the prior sentence. So together studied in order, every sentence is easy - but if I came across one right away, it might have 3-4 things I don’t know in it. I’m not sure if it takes a couple hundred cards in to start seeing this? But I figure if these cards are really building off each other, I might as well just keep most of them. Even the ones I know completely are good production practice and good review. I’m also contemplating ‘suspending’ all the Card 2 types In my deck that prompt with English first. I decided ultimately to leave them for now - since they give me practice on production. But if I find they bother me, I’m suspending them since they just cover the same material twice.

Anyway flashcard wise, I figured this deck is simple and easy to stick to. It covers stuff I can use, and it’s easy to study. I do think the Pleco pre made sentence decks I have are good (maybe even better for ME since the difficulty spikes quicker and my brain learns when its being challenged a lot and loves to slack when it’s not). But I don’t like using flashcards in Pleco for srs much. I prefer to use it like a big notebook of words I know/am studying/etc. Also i guess just mentally, it lets me keep seeing Pleco as my reading/notes/reference area. I like to keep it separate from srs flashcards I guess since... I usually hate flashcards, but love Pleco a lot lol.

I also was trying out my Chinese Grammar deck on anki - it’s a great deck. This one again has sentences mostly of stuff I know and understand - but this one is focused on grammar patterns and I think it’s a bit helpful for improving my production and grammar understanding. Along with just being more review of things I know. I also have a Hanzi deck on anki with simplified and traditional - idk how I feel about it or if I’ll use it. It’s not mnemonic containing, it’s just ordered on frequency, but I do like that it includes traditional so I can see both. Ultimately, these are just optional things I’m checking out. These two decks are free.

The SpoonFed Chinese deck has a free version - which I used to use and is perfectly useful so I recommend it. The big drawback I guess with it, was it seemed to occasionally have the same issues Clozemaster sentences have - since a beginner made it the sentences came from a bigger site source and if there were mistakes they were unedited, also the audio is compressed and sounds a bit harsh (but usable). If you look up the deck it shows up on anki, and the shared deck page also includes the creator’s link to the paid version they made. The paid version is $4 (or more if you’d like to tip etc). Its the version of the deck that’s been gone through for errors (so significantly less errors), for usefulness, so that the sentences are more sequentially I+1 instead of only sometimes I+1, the audio is WAY better.

It’s clear the creator went through it with more language experience, and they stated their Chinese wife also helped go through this version of the deck. I do think as I’m going through it, its noticeably better organized than the original was. Most noticeably though, I think the material is a little more thematically coherent and the difficulty curve is much more steady - it reads almost like the difficulty progression of some paid course or some college classes I’ve taken. This might make it easier for beginners to start it.

In the 4$ version of the deck I started today, my 20 cards basically introduced some ‘new’ words in simple sentences, then in more complex sentences with new grammar happening, and over time with new words added. It felt well structured like a purposeful course rather then a random list of sentences organized by ‘word frequency’ and length’ without much further work. The original deck is mostly like this too, just bulkier, and with a bit more of a chaotic I+1 organization where some chunks of sentences are all completely comprehensible them suddenly there’s a chunk of I+i sentences mixed in with totally new unknown sentences and I+2 or more type sentences. I think how well organized the 4$ version is... definitely motivates me to study more. Also I do think, If you had ZERO prior chinese knowledge of Hanzi or vocab words, the new structure helps guide you through learning the sentences much easier.

Also, just in general, the person who made the deck put instructions up as well on how to download and install it, how to change certain settings if you prefer, what to study beforehand if you have zero prior knowledge (it links to pinyin and tones), and I just really appreciated how thought out the instructions and notes were. Again, it makes it much easier as a beginner (and easier for me since I know almost nothing about anki and dearly needed the instructions today lol).

Lol this is all assuming... I stick to using anki instead of dropping it like always >o> we’ll see

Here’s the original deck on its page on anki: https://ankiweb.net/shared/info/867291675

Here’s the edited $4 deck: https://gumroad.com/products/IEmpwF

And, if you are wondering, no I still didn’t buy the $25 dollar anki app for iPhone. I’m just using the mobile website anki, as usual. Maybe life would be easier if I used the app but oh well. As far as I’ve heard there’s not a noticeable enough difference...

#rant #srs flashcards #anki #anki is fine #i just am BAD with flashcardssss

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maryniss · 4 years ago

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How Does Waiting Sound?

Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

Summary: How did Dazai named his ability?

Why won't Oda leave Dazai?

***

On a last mission before leaving the Port Mafia, Dazai and Chuuya finally find the perfect name for Dazai's ability.

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Relationships:

Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs)

Dazai Osamu&Oda Sakunosuke (Bungou Stray Dogs)

Characters:

Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs) Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs) Oda Sakunosuke (Bungou Stray Dogs) Original Female Character(s) Yoko Ogawa

Tags: oh boy here we go - Freeform;thats why i dont like writing long fics because of the tags;anyway;Drugs;Drugs Made Them Do It;Underage Drinking;does chuuya care they are underage?fucking no;oh yeah;Swearing;Angst;Light Angst;Fluff;Nakahara Chuuya is ticklish;Blood and Violence;i selected blood kink accidentally there are no kinks here;Murder Family;Odasaku Hunts Dazai's Thoughts;Riding Motorcycles(aka Jenna)’Motorcycles;I love Chuua's motorbike as much as I love cherry's carla’Port Mafia Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs);But he quits the very next day so not pm dazai really idk;Tags Are Hard;i wrote this because the thought of how dazai named his ability kept me up at night;and yeh;I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping;soukoku kiss i forgot to tell y'all that;Gentle Kissing

Notes: Pfff...cant believe i finished this im so happy rn. so i have one important thing to say before.

YOKO OGAWA is a real Japanese writer. This here doesn't make any assumptions about her real life persona, this is only a fanfic. That is all.

OK, yo now lets see. So, what is this fic really about? idk but soukoku kiss so im happy with that.listened to this while writing hehe

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4mIVbG8EnA6JgSqzgk87pA?si=LVJB_uZyRQqIIMejQeSzgg

Dazai smiles, even if he is not happy.

Dazai smiles because he is happy.

Dazai never cries.

He smiled at that moment when his life changed. That day when he got a good beating from a child much smaller than him (even if that stubborn redhead would never agree with him about their height)

Dazai always thought that he was special. He was indeed. After all, the people around him were human. They died. Everyday. Every single day, before his eyes. Sometimes, he killed them himself. Other times, he had to witness blood shed from afar.

It still hurt. But, he got used to it. He was strong enough to do so. It was like he didn’t feel it anymore, actually. Just like when you get used to the sound of a broken clock; it is as if it never existed in the first place.

But, Dazai felt something, he was just burrowed too deep into his thoughts to reach his feelings. He... he felt like he was...

No Longer Human. Dazai spent a lot of time thinking about the name of his ability (and, no, we would never tell anyone how it got that name; personal reasons) and he concluded that it fit perfectly.

Walking down on a random street, Dazai thought about it again. Actually, he had told somebody about the origin of his ability’s name. The sun threw pretty, orange, almost transparent curtains of light, making Dazai seem like an angel that has just ascended from Hell.

He stopped and looked around himself. He knew that his instincts would not fool him; he knew the street he was on.

If he turned around the corner, he would find the bar, the same as always. Unchanged, as his feelings.

He hated himself. Not only when he was going to the bar, even though he promised himself that he would never go there again. Not only when he let everyone around him down. Not only when he did what he thought was right instead of what he wanted.

He hated himself in general. And, to tell you a secret, there was only one other person Dazai hated.

He entered in the bar and, as always he saw Oda sitting there.

“Were have you been? You are late! , “smiled his friend with a drink already prepared in his hand.

Dazai sat down in the cold and empty room. He did not have time to tell Odasaku how he got to name his ability.

“The usual?, “ asked the bartender.

“Mhm, sure.”

Dazai relaxed against the back of the chair. There was a clock in that room, but it was broken.

“Hard day?” Odasaku’s tone was concerned. Dazai smiled to himself and nodded.

“Kind of. How about you?”

“Nothing special.”

The barman brought two glasses of whiskey and put them on the table. Dazai looked at them and saw nothing, nothing more than the person who should have drank that, right next to him.

“You know, actually, there is something that I want to tell you.”

Oda left his glass back on the counter and smiled at Dazai.

“Do tell. I am pretty bored. What could happen that would make you want to talk like that, so suddenly?”

Tik-tok-tik-tik-tok. The clock on the wall sang its broken song.

“It’s not a so good story; but I want to tell you.”

“Ok, I am listening, Dazai.”

The brown-haired man inhaled deeply and looked at the glass in his hand. He then drank it all and slammed it against the table. The drink next to him was untouched. Dazai called for the bartender and ordered two more drinks.

“Ok, so where should I start?” Tik-tik-tok-tok-tik-tok.

“From where you see fit.”

Dazai tried to remember. The details of the day his life had once again taken a 180 turn. It was late spring, or maybe already summer, and the sun was setting almost shyly.

“Yeah, it was a golden afternoon. And the sun was smiling down upon…”

“Wait, I already know this story.” Dazai looked puzzled. He was sure he never told Oda this one. Their drinks were waiting on the counter. Tree, in total and one empty glass.

“Are you sure? I don’t remember...”

“No, I don’t actually know this one in particular. But, I do know who this is about.”

Dazai understood then and he smiled melancholically. The Oda in his hallucinations really knew him that well, huh? He bet that the real one would have also guessed.

“Whenever you talk about that person, you get all poetic and dramatic, as you are covering yourself with another layer of protection, so that no one can see into your heart. “

Dazai gulped and took a mouthful of whiskey. The alcohol burned down his throat, and then up again to his brain. It was not a big problem; Dazai could handle his drinks quite well (or so he thought).

“Well, you are right, but you’ll hear me anyway, right? It’s not like you have a place to be. And this one it’s not like all the stories about Chuuya that I told you before.”

Dazai may sound all confident when he talked; but deep in his heart, in that numb place of his heart, where he could not reach his frozen emotions, he was scared. If he would had have problems with his kidneys, he would probably piss himself very often and not only because of his disease.

Oda sighed and the clock on the wall did too. The sound of something that doesn’t function anymore.

“Of course, go on. I won’t interrupt you anymore.”

***

“Oi, I can’t believe that old geezer! Putting us to work when he is relaxing in some exotic country! ,”said Chuuya, not so subtly, drawing other’s people attention. The afternoon sun was making him look like an angel that had just descended from Heaven. His hair was high-up in a ponytail and it was the first time Dazai saw him without his hat.

He was beautiful, not that Dazai would ever admit that to Chuuya, god no! He wouldn’t even admit it to himself. He always caught himself staring; against his own will, of course. He liked to look into Chuuya’s eyes. Because he felt like they were alike. They tried to hide their feelings; or, better said, never got a chance to expose them in the first place.

Chuuya’s eyes were always full of light. Nor hatred, nor any other emotion tainted them. They were pure and Dazai admired him for that. He would never tell Chuuya that, again, that was a very big no.

But, it was something. To have eyes blue like the sea, like the reflection of a world full of freedom, like the blue sky Dazai could never see completely. Everything was written there.

“Now, where is that building and those bastards? Let’s kick their assess quicker, ‘cause I wanna drink something.” Dazai smiled at his partner and showed him to turn left.

“Oh, Chuuya, but you are still underage! You can’t drink! , “ said Dazai, being surprised at his own words. It was not like him to make such comments. Irrational and not funny at all.

“You really are dumb, right? If I am going to go beat some guys and steal whatever, I am sure that I am allowed to drink. It’s not like I have respected the law before.”

They walked down a dark alley, chatting or fighting or both at the same time, because that’s how their conversations usually work. Dazai telling Chuuya that he liked his shoes; Chuuya checking to see if he really did take his good pair today; Dazai shattering all of his hopes down and laughing everything off; and then Chuuya smacking his partner and mumbling not-so-beautiful nicknames.

That’s how they work. Like a broken clock.

But, even broken clocks strike sometimes the right hour. They may have seem to not pay attention around them, but it was quite the opposite actually.

They knew they reached their destination, so they tried to focus on the shadows around them; on the sounds of steps that were so loud, even if both Chuuya and Dazai could feel the effort of the people following them to not be heard.

They silently looked at each other.

“We finish this fast and then we go to drink somethin’?”

“Ok, but if you get drunk you’ll let me drive your motorcycle.” Chuuya seemed to hesitate, but he also didn’t want to go drinking alone. He was not afraid or something, it just felt lonely…

They finally reached the building from where they were supposed to extract…

“What are we supposed to take from here? , “ whispered Chuuya. “ Is there some human trafficking that we should take care of?”

“I think that somebody took something from Mori-san, like documents or boring things like that, “whispered Dazai back.

“I swear that I’ll kill that man if he ever sends me to bring him some piece of paper.” Dazai chuckled and looked one more time at the building.

Yeah, of course it had to be a night club. Why did fancy people (or actually people who considered themselves fancy) always came to nightclubs? Where were they supposed to search for those papers? In somebody’s underwear, or what?

And this one didn’t look like a very expensive one. The big sigh with “ NightClub Insomnia” shined pink and green, those cheap neon ones. The windows were dark, so you could not see inside. Or maybe there were just some thick curtains.

Chuuya moved forward and stopped, making a disgusted face.

“Eww, here smells like piss and bear.”

“Let’s go inside then, though I think that there smells even worse, “ answered Dazai. The moon was already high in the sky, illuminating Chuuya’s fragile silhouette. The brown-haired man almost laughed at himself. Fragile? Yeah, sure. He should say that after he beats Chuuya at a one-on-one fight; though he liked when he is being pinned down, and when the redhead smirks triumphantly from above him, his long hair almost brushing over Dazai’s lips…

“Are we going or are you afraid that you’ll be kicked out because you are a minor?”

Dazai snapped out of his dreams and focused on the mission at hand. After they are done, he would go with Chuuya to drink. And he has time to admire his partner (and hate himself for doing so) afterwards.

“Well, if the police catches us, we can just beat them.”

And, so, Dazai and Chuuya entered on the club’s door.

From afar, Yoko Ogawa was observing them. She gestured and her guardians nodded.

The woman resisted licking her lips ( a nervous tic that she has since she was little) as she looked at the two young boys trying to make their way through the crowd. The night has only started, and she already had them where she wanted.

Lights, loud music, neon colors, dancing, people and sweat, drugs, drinking, and the smell of cheap wine and beer, mixed with another one that Chuuya had sensed since he first arrived. An old woman sitting in the corner, wishing she had listened to her wife. She should have took some lip balm with him.

Well, it was not so important. Because, that night was the night she would catch the Double Black. Soukoku. She would be the one to do so.

Soukoku, huh? Just a bunch of kiddos. Yoko Ogawa had two reasons that forced her to break her first marriage, and another two that forced him to get married again with her second wife, the one that was always telling her to use lip balm.

The first reason that determined her to divorce from his wife was that she was not good with children. She didn’t have the patience, the determination to play with such despicable creatures.

And there was another one… oh yeah. Because she accidentally killed his children.

Well, this was her wife’s fault! She should have not left her with them!

She did once, she could do it again. She whispered: “You are dead, Soukoku”, but the club’s liveliness made his words seem dull and not true at all.

***

There are 3 glasses still full of whiskey on the table. There are 3 glasses with only the ice left in them.

“It’s pretty hard to tell this story in the 3rd person,” sighs Dazai, propping his head in his hand. The room is still empty and cold; he gathers all the drink in one place and puts them in a circle.

“Why are you telling it in 3rd person then? You can… , “ he stopped and reached for the glasses that Dazai was playing with. “ That’s mine, you can order more if you want to do whatever you were doing with them.”

“Ok, ok here you are.”

“Thanks. So, why are you not using the first person?”

“Well, that’s because this is not only my story. You’ll see.”

The clock made a disharmonic sound. The room was quiet then for a while and Dazai took another deep breath. That was the moment that their plan to go drinking went wrong. Though Dazai got to ride Chuuya’s motorbike afterwards.

***

“You were right, it really does smell worse here,” yelled Chuuya, trying to make himself heard over the sound of the tasteless music that some DJ- Chuuya would very much like to go and teach that DJ what good music was supposed to sound like- was playing.

“I don’t know what you are saying. This smell kind of reminds me of your apartment. There is the same smell of cheap wine and…”

“That’s because of a certain someone only buying me wine at the smallest price!”

“You should go buy your own wine then!” A woman, almost naked of course, approached Dazai and put her hands on his shoulders. The brown-haired man pushed the woman away; her breath was smelling like beer and there was another odor, a musky and sour one that made Dazai scrunch his nose.

“I am sorry, but I have no such tastes in women,” said Dazai and went on, trying to catch up with Chuuya. He could his small partner ahead of him, avoiding the strippers that were coming for him like a wild group of animals comes for its prey.

“Chuuya, look there!,” shouted Dazai, trying to get the chibi’s attention. Chuuya turned to him and followed the direction that Dazai was showing with his hand.

There were the men that they had to meet to retrieve the documents. Port Mafia didn’t like to spill blood uselessly. So, Mori-san gave them the order to try and negotiate first for the documents, giving them some money in return.

Neither Dazai, nor Chuuya understood the old man. They could just beat those guys and take the documents and that was.

It was almost as if there was something that they didn’t know; as if they were fooled; as if they were going right inside a trap.

Yeah, Dazai knew that was very probably. A trap. He was more than sure about it. He didn’t know if Chuuya realized this; but he trusted his partner. He knew that Chuuya could protect himself, even if he was being in disadvantage. For fuck’s sake, Chuuya was literally a god, so Dazai should not worry about the redhead so much.

The brown-haired man looked around. An elegant dressed woman, wearing red lipstick, her hair tied up in a practical bun, sitting on a celadon sofa, that was probably bought from the SecondHand shop next to the club; Dazai could tell that the sofa was not very comfortable, but what could you expect from such a place? She didn’t seem like a bad person. Besides her, there were two women. Dazai scanned them quickly. A gun hung loosely next to their hip. It was pretty dark, but Dazai could also see the shine of some small, sharp blades. Total: around six. There could also be some hidden ones, in their boots, their hair and maybe even a small bomb in their mouth. He was not so sure, but they needed to pay attention.

Chuuya and Dazai looked at each other. After years of missions when they needed to be silent, they developed some kind of secret language only between two them; almost like they could reach each other’s minds and pull out the thoughts directly from there.

“Do they pose a threat to us?”

“Maybe to you, I am capable of protecting myself.” “Ok, but you won’t let me die this time, no?”

“…did I ever let you down, Dazai?”

Dazai smiled.

“No, chibi, let’s go. We do this quick and then we go to that new bar, right?”

“I swear, if you call me…” Chuuya stopped mid-sentence, looking somewhere between Dazai. He blinked four times and then he took hold of Dazai’s hand.

“We gotta go, Dazai. This is not ok. Fuck the files, this is a big ass trap. We haven’t been careful enough…”

Dazai turned to see what frightened Chuuya so. He blinked himself, telling himself that it was impossible. This mission should have been an easy one. What kind of Ability User did they have the luck to stumble across this time?

The club was slowly melting, its walls, people and everything peeling down, letting bright sunlight come in.

“Come on, Dazai, move!” The brown-haired man needn’t be told twice. It was not like them to run; normally, Dazai would not run with Chuuya. But, that day was the last day when he would be recognized, officially, as a member of the Port Mafia. He did not want to go around, killing people as some kind of maniac.

He was crazy, he knew that already. But, even crazy people had their moments. Just like broken clocks.

And, Chuuya always run. Not because there was something that he could not handle. Dazai bet that his partner could fight with a dragon from those fairytales Oda used to read kids before sleep and he would win, without even scratching himself. Maybe he was foolish and greedy to think that Chuuya was scared for him, for Dazai; maybe he was just blinded by the light coming from Chuuya’s eyes to think that the redhead really did care for him that much.

“Ok, Chuuya, let’s go.” They did not get out in time. They didn’t and Dazai is somewhat glad because of that.

***

“Could you just bring me an entire bottle? I am feeling bad for always telling you to bring two more glasses of whiskey,” chuckled Dazai, not a hint of nervousness in his tone. The barman nodded. Dazai looked at the bar’s door and then at the clock on the wall. He could almost hear Ango coming in, mumbling something to himself, and then taking a seat next to Dazai, sighing and ordering something to drink.

Dazai knew that he would never come here again.

“Well, what happened then? Why did you stop?” Oda looked at him with tired eyes, yet ready to find out whatever Dazai wanted to tell him.

“Just a moment of silence. I thought about my friend who died right before this story took place.” Tik-tok-tok-tik…

“Oh? Do I know them? Who is this friend of yours?”

“You.”

The bartender came with two bottles in his hands and put them on the counter.

“I only said one, though.”

“The other one is for the man right there,” said he, nodding towards the empty chair where Odasaku should have been.

“There is no one there.” The bartender lifted his shoulders and shook his head. He filled his arms with the empty glasses Dazai had drank and smiled fondly at the only client that was still coming to his bar. And then he left, leaving Dazai with the sound of a broken clock and his very own hallucinations.

“I can’t believe that you didn’t order one bottle for me,” laughed Oda, punching Dazai lightly. The brown-haired man sighed; it really was a mistake to come there, but it didn’t matter anymore.

“Old men can’t handle their drinks,” answered he, sipping the remaining whiskey from his glass.

“Hey, I’m only five years older than you.”

“You are…” Dazai bit his tongue. He almost said “dead”. “Ok, let’s continue the story, then. If not, I feel like I am going to fall asleep and you will never know what happened.” Oda nodded and Dazai started to tell his story again.

***

Chuuya and Dazai did not stop to look; they had enough experience to be able to apply the rule number 1 in such cases: never look. You can think about it afterwards. First survive.

The club was collapsing, the people transforming into thin smoke threads. Glass shattered on the floor had also started to disappear and then there was no sign of the location where Dazai and Chuuya should have had a nice and reasonable conversation to take back those documents.

They were now on an island, both of them could hear the distinctly sound of waves of the sea. Seagulls flew above them and as both of them stared up, at the blinding sun, at the clear, blue, day sky, somebody approached them.

“Welcome! My dear kids, this is the Memory Police! Couldn’t be more happy to have you here!”

Chuuya and Dazai turned back and faced the woman they saw in the club. She was alone this time. The two exchanged a look.

“She is the Ability User.”

“Well, we are not very happy that we are here so,let’s go back so we can take those documents and bring them to our boss.” The woman smiled; now Dazai saw that she was not wearing red lipstick, but a purple one. She didn’t look as pretty as before.

“You know that you can’t keep us here with only an Ability, right?, “continued Dazai, all while shooting his most charming smile at the woman.

He was more than sure that the island they were on was part of her ability, so one touch and it would probably vanish. Actually, he was standing on it already, so it was probably already melting, but given that it was such a big object it would take longer for it to go away. But, whatever other spells there were hidden on the island, Dazai nullified them all.

“Oh, I do know that, which is why I don’t intend on keeping you here…”

Chuuya was done listening to the woman’s crap. “What the…,” he threw some gravity discs in her direction, “fuck do you want?” The woman didn’t even move; she raised her arm and made a swift motion, as if she was at a concert and she was the bandmaster. The discs vanished. Chuuya and Dazai were left looking at her surprised; but then they remember the number one rule, the golden rule they must always follow.

They had to do something, but what could they? Why wasn’t Dazai’s ability working already? And what was that from before? Could the woman also nullify somebody’s gift? There were too many questions and Dazai had the answer to only one of it.

No, the woman didn’t have the same ability as Dazai, because that would mean that there was somebody else, another Ability User that brought them to the island. Also, she didn’t even had to touch the discs, they simply went voosh and bye-bye Chuuya’s attack. So, it had to be the island. Maybe this was like some sort of environment where she was able to do whatever she pleased and whatever satisfied her. In other words, a secluded space where she ruled every single rock, every single tiny bit of sand, every single force and every single person.

Well, that would have been bad, if only Dazai wasn’t there. After all, that was his job: to make him and Chuuya un-vulnerable to such attacks. But, why was it not working? Maybe he should get closer to the woman, maybe if he touched her…

“Chuuya, let’s do the thing we did then, when we had to steal those diamonds…you know.” The redhead looked at his partner. He sometimes couldn’t believe that such a fragile person (even though Dazai was much taller than him, but we do NOT talk about that here, in the Port Mafia gang) could make his world so much more than the red angry he used to see. That was before he met Dazai. After that, after they became a team, there was always a black dot in Chuuya’s red world that was jumping and fooling around, making the boy’s head spun.

Chuuya hated that little, tiny, stupid thing! He hated it for confusing him so!

But, it was nice. To be able to see something else than red. Something else than blind anger.

“Are you sure it’s gonna work?” Chuuya asked just because he was used to do so. He trusted his partner completely, meaning that he would follow whatever plans Dazai came up with.

“Have I ever let you down, chibi?”

Chuuya smiled. Did he really hate that Dazai called him chibi? Yes.

“Well, if you say so…but don’t call me that anymore.”

Chuuya smiled. Did he really hate that Dazai called him chibi? No.

Dazai winked and the redhead rolled his eyes. From somewhere very close to them, they could hear the waves crashing onto whatever they were sitting on (an island, an ability or a giant lion-turtle with magical powers). The seagulls seemed agitated – maybe a storm was coming.

“Well, lady, we would love to stay, but he have to go.” Dazai backed a few feet away, discovering that Chuuya was no more by his side. He could see the hole that his partner dug for them to escape, the sand starting to cover it up already.

“Oh no, I am afraid I can’t do that.” Yoko Ogawa smiled.

‘You see, this is my island. Not some playground for such bastards like you.”

And, suddenly, Chuuya was above Dazai’s head floating in the air and the brown-haired could see that he was not using his ability. The redhead looked down and wriggled his legs, he tried to come down but to no use; he got the same feeling as when he was a kid and he couldn’t control his ability. But, now, it wasn’t he that was the problem.

“Dazai, do something!”

Dazai looked at his partner and there were a hundred thought that flooded onto him at the same time. Unfortunately, his instincts took over before he could react rationally. Dazai shot Yoko; she didn’t dodge, she just stopped the bullet with her very own hand.

The little piece of metal was not on the island anymore. When she opened her palm, there was no sign of her previous action; the skin was fine. That did not surprise Dazai. He had a vague idea of what the woman’s ability was…

“DAZAI. I swear to god, I-“

“Shh, little Chuuya,” said Dazai flashing a snakey smile at his friend, “the adults are trying to solve this.”

Yoko Ogawa laughed. The seagulls flew over their heads, not a care in the world. Did they care that Chuuya was hanging seven meters high up in the air and something happened to his ability?

No! And guess who also did not? Dazai. Or at least, that’s what Chuuya thought.

“You consider yourself an adult? Please, you can’t even drink legally.”

“Well, maybe that’s true, but I still think like one. For example, your ability. What do I know about it? That it’s called “Memory Police”. Why I don’t know and I don’t care but I definitely won’t be coming to you to help me choose the name of my ability.” Dazai looked around discreetly. There really was no one around. Now, there was no turning back, anyway. He would just tell the woman what he knew and he would try to resonate with her. If not, there was Chuuya; he knew that he was not alone.

“Oh and also, this island or whatever this is… this sand is not part of your ability. I don’t know, you probably put it here, but this is not a real island.” If Yoko Ogawa was impressed, she didn’t show it.

“You control everything here: even gravity, that’s what Chuuya can’t use his ability. Or, better said, using his ability doesn’t have any effect.”

“Well, aren’t you a clever one?” Yoko looked at Chuuya and with another swift motion of her hand, she let him down. The redhead almost smashed head first if Dazai didn’t run to catch him.

He did not fall into Dazai’s arm, unfortunately, because his long cultivated instincts kicked in and at the last moment he made a pillow of air to sustain himself and then he let himself down carefully.

“You really are clever, but too bad you won’t be around here anymore to see the rest of the story.”

“What…?” Dazai then realized. It was like a premonition; he knew what would happen and it really did happen like that: in the next three seconds, he was thrown around in a black hole, and he was back in the club. The loud music (who played such bad music? Dazai should teach them a lesson later) and the neon lights were messing with his head; he felt like throwing up.

“Wake up, pretty boy ‘cause mama has to give you some pills. You’ll feel better then.”

A voice that Dazai very much did not like was the only thing he heard before he fell asleep. His last thoughts ran off to Chuuya.

Dazai hated himself in general, but now that he had left Chuuya alone, his hatred towards himself seemed to increase. A little.

***

Dazai woke up on the island; he felt his limbs numb, and he tried to move them. He couldn’t, and that didn’t surprise him so much. The memories of what happened yesterday (had it already passed a day? It was hard to tell) came to him slowly and he opened his eyes, even if the bright light was uncomfortable.

He could hear the seagulls, the waves of the sea; and he could smell the salty wind. His eyes started to adjust, but his vision was still a bit hazy. Dazai could see that he was somewhere above the ground, in a metal cage. He did not see Yoko Ogawa.

“Chuuya. Where is Chuuya?”

Dazai found the answer to his question in no time. In the same cage as him, too far away for Dazai to reach and touch him, there was Chuuya, breathing hard. His head was hanging loosely and the red hair covered almost all of his face. He could see that Chuuya was trembling and he could also see the sweat glistening off him in the light of the artificial sun. Chuuya never sweated. Dazai suspected that both of them had been drugged.

“Chuuya…Hey, Chuuya,” whispered Dazai, his voice going hoarse in the middle of the sentence. The redhead didn’t move. His hands were pinned above his head, cuffed with iron chains covering his small palms completely. His long-sleeved shirt revealed some delicate skin; and Dazai then saw it.

How could he not from the start, he didn’t know. Chuuya’s hands where covered in that red, snake-like pattern that Dazai did very much not like; the stripes seemed alive, as if there was something impure lurking under his skin, some kind of disease, some kind of filthy demon. Dazai shuddered.

So, his partner used Corruption. What was he thinking? Didn’t he knew that the woman controlled everything on the island? That he had no chance of winning?

But, why was he not doing anything now? How much time has passed since Chuuya was in that state? Again, Dazai was left with too many unanswered questions.

He tried to calm himself. He looked above himself and saw that his hands were also pinned up like Chuuya’s. He tried to think logically; would Chuuya use Corruption if Dazai was not around, if he hadn’t chance to come back to his human-self? No. That was for sure.

Which meant that it had to do either with the island, with Yoko Ogawa’s ability or with the fact that they both have been drugged. Dazai chose the second option. So, what was it? What kind of drug? He could only take guess: maybe it was something that brought Corruption to surface; and even if Chuuya tried to use the ability, he could not, because Yoko was controlling the gravity around him, so that he could not escape.

So, the woman was probably around here. Dazai should be careful about what he was saying, about how he revealed his plans to Chuuya. But, Yoko Ogawa didn’t know that Dazai figured that much, so maybe he could use that to his advantage.

A seagull stopped on the cage, making it move a little.

“Are you awake already?” The voice came from down, from under the cage. It made sense; it was the only place where Dazai could not see. The brown-haired man didn’t say anything, and the other part also stopped asking questions.

Right now, Dazai had one big problem; he needed to touch Chuuya, so that he could deactivate Corruption. But, how? He didn’t even feel his hands. He didn’t feel his whole body, damn it!

“Chuuya, are you awake?, “ asked Dazai, but he got no response. He knew that the woman was clever; she did manage to bring them into this situation, after all, so he had to be careful.

“Chuuya!” This time, Dazai called his friend loud enough that it was impossible for Yoko not to hear.

“Oh, so you are awake. Then shall I explain the situation you are into right now? You have to understand the rules of the game form the start, so that you don’t make any mistakes.” Dazai tried moving his fingers, but he wasn’t sure if he succeeded or not; they were like a piece of meat attached to his body with a rope. Useless.

“If you would be so kind.” Dazai could almost hear the smile in the woman’s voice as she spoke.

“Well, I think that you figured pretty much already, but I am too excited so I am going to tell it to you once more. So, you both have been given a drug. Yours is just something plain, and it was not administrated in a big quantity; you still need to see this plan unfold right before your eyes and you can’t be high for that to happen.” She stopped and took a deep breath. She seemed to be happy with herself. At the same time, Chuuya made a slight movement, but Dazai saw it. His friend was starting to wake up. It was going good.

“And, well maybe you asked yourself: what does that drug exactly do? And maybe you thought that it brings out the god-form of your partner. And you are right, but not entirely. Because this drug doesn’t only bring your partner’s inner demon…”

Dazai clenched his teeth. Chuuya was more of a human that that woman would ever be. Chuuya was not a demon; maybe he looked like one, maybe he sometimes acted like one (only around Dazai though), but he was not a demon.

How should Dazai put this? He always found himself admiring Chuuya, that succeeded in keeping his humanity, even when he had the powers of a god. Dazai couldn’t even do that, he, a regular person.

Chuuya was more human than Dazai would ever be.

“…it forces the kid to fight with it.” Dazai almost missed the last part as he tried to escape from his shackles. He stopped his action at once. What did Yoko mean?

Suddenly, Chuuya jerked forward. His chains hit the metal bars of the cage and clinked; like the bells on a wedding day. It was as a veil had been put over Dazai’s eyes, over his intern logic. He felt physical pain by just looking at Chuuya, just by looking at his small partner struggling like a trapped animal, his body spasming uncontrollably. And, all Dazai could do was watch.

Chuuya cried in pain. He was breathing hard, almost chocking on something that was not there. His eyes were hollow; two white, milky spheres, showing no emotion, empty. There was a liquid rolling down his cheeks, from his eyes, something like tears, but with a coarse density. Chuuya was shaking and crying and Dazai could not do anything.

“See, this is the thing the drug does. He will die in no time.”

It still hurt. But, he got used to it. He was strong enough to do so. It was like he didn’t feel it anymore, actually.

No, this time, Dazai would not get over it. He just lost Odasaku. He could not lose Chuuya. Not him. Not him, not him, not him…

His head was spinning. He lied, he lied. Dazai fucking lied! He felt it all, he felt the pain, he felt the guilt of his past actions hanging around his neck, suffocating him every time he tried to go down, towards the mortal world, towards what he loves. He hated it.

Dazai fainted. Right then and right there. It was too much, too much, too much, even for him. Tears poured out of his close eyes; he had finally let his guard down.

The seagulls sang a song only for the two of them; only for Chuuya and Dazai to hear. The birds sang in their crooked voice; they sounded like a broken clock.

Chuuya fainted from all the pain shortly after his partner, but he knew he was not going to die. After all, he had somebody else to protect from death.

***

Dazai woke up in white room. To be honest, he had first thought that he died. That was how he always thought the afterlife would look like.

Well, he would have definitely be dead if there wasn’t a certain redhead lying motionless on the floor. Suddenly, the memories of the club, of the island, of Chuuya shouting in pain came back to Dazai and he ran towards his friend.

It couldn’t be… Were they both dead? No, no…

He knelt down and checked Chuuya’s pulse. There was nothing. But, his partner did look normal. He didn’t have the red stripes over his body anymore. But, he was not breathing. Did they really die? Was that…

Chuuya sit up straight, slamming his head into Dazai’s nose. The redhead coughed a fistful of blood and then wiped his mouth with a gloved hand.

“Chuuya~!,” screamed Dazai in surprise.

“What the fuck… Where are we?”

Chuuya looked around, clearly confused. Actually, what was there to look at? They were literally in a room (or maybe it was a white infinity) and the boy seemed even paler than before.

“Ah…” Chuuya shoved his head into his hands. “Don’t you tell me you actually convinced me to commit double-suicide with you!”

The redhead took Dazai by the collar of his coat and swung him around.

“Or, what stupid thing did you do to bring us into this kinda situation? I swear…” Dazai laughed wholeheartedly and Chuuya raised his fist. Ah, yes. The good ol’ fight between friends – or whatever they were.

“Chuuya, don’t! Wait, let me explain!” The little boy calmed down a bit. He took a deep breath and sat on the floor, cross-legged. Or maybe it was the ceiling or another wall. He didn’t even want to think about their situation. His head hurt already so bad, and he still had to deal with the nuisance in front of him.

“Ok, then go on, you shitty…”

“Shh, Chuuya, don’t use such words,” said Dazai, putting his index finger on Chuuya’s lips. The redhead looked at it and his blue eyes hid emotions Dazai could not recognize. But, whatever was lying there, he could for sure say that those ocean-like orbits were luminous. So bright and so lovely, Dazai would love to drown in them. A perfect way to die, he considered. He sighed; if only Chuuya would let him.

“OUCH! CHUUYA!” Dazai retreated his wounded finger and looked at his partner. There was a fresh, red stain on Chuuya’s lips, from the blood that had flowed out Dazai fingers; Chuuty really bit him!

“What are you, seventh grade? A dog should not bite his master!!” As Dazai was wrapping up a small bandage over his finger, Chuuya licked his lips; such a salty taste made him shiver for some reason.

“And, for you to know, it was not my fault. You tried to shut me up! From using cursed words or whatever… Fuck that, I always curse!”

Dazai made a tsk-tsk sound, but said nothing more. Chuuya looked at him and sighed, laying on his back. He thought about the situation they were in. It was most likely a dream caused by the drugs he and Dazai have been injected with.

He would not want to wake up.

“Chuuya, let’s play a game! I’m bored! Let’s play truth or dare!”

He would very much like to wake up.

“Oi, Dazai, shut up I am trying to think.” No, he wasn’t but Dazai didn’t knew that.

“Oh, ok, I’ll be quiet, you need after all some practice.” Chuuya did not say anything; every word would be like fuel to an already massive fire. He, for once, shut up.

Did he think that Dazai would leave him alone? Yeah.

Did Dazai leave him alone? Nope.

“Chuuya~! Let’s play, please!! I’ve got some really good questions!”

The redhead ignored him at first, pretending to be asleep. Of course Dazai hadn’t fallen for it. The brown-haired man decided that if that was how Chuuya would play, then he wouldn’t be nice either. With only a war-like scream, Dazai hurled over Chuuya and started to tickle his sides. Chuuya burst out in laughter, trying to push Dazai off, but without succeeding.

“Dazai you ~haha~ little brat, if I put my hands on you!!~stop –hahah- don’t tickle me there!”

“I’ll stop if you play Truth or Dare with me.” Chuuya continued to laugh and he chocked, but Dazai had no mercy. He tickled him until his fingers hurt.

“Ok, ok, ~hiC~ I’ll play, get off you mother ~HIc~fucker…”

Dazai got off in an instant, clearly pleased with himself. Chuuya tried to catch his breath; the touch of Dazai’s fingers still felt so real to him. There, on his left ribs, a little lower than his heart, where he was most ticklish. There on his stomach, where Chuuya didn’t like to be touched (he didn’t mind now tho). There on…

What was he thinking?

He got up, sitting with his legs crossed again. He eyes Dazai that was also standing like that, at only 4 inches away from him. He reached out and punched his friend.

“I’ll kill you, Dazai, you shitty suicidal maniac, if you ever do that to me again!” Dazai only laughed; he was already good friends with these kind of threats; that he knew would never actually happen.

“Ok, Chuuya, you go first!” Chuuya sighed.

“Geez, I feel like a seventh grader, not that I’ve actually been to school before…”

“You do have the behavior of a seventh grader, but unfortunately not the brains of one.”

“Do you want to have no brains at all?”

“Is this the question you are asking for the game? Then, no I don’t really, but I would rather blow them up myself. Not the best way to go, but it’s an option, I guess.”

Chuuya shook his head. How did he end with such a moron?

“How can we play when you are making this so difficult?” yelled Chuuya, suddenly wanting to slap Dazai. In fact, no, it wasn’t suddenly, he always wanted to slap Dazai, yes, the urge was always there. And moments like these was what it took for him to actually do it.

“Chuu~huya, it’s not your turn anymore!” sang Dazai, smiling and provoking Chuuya with his gaze. The redhead calmed himself; he should not use his energy on that bastard after all. He sighed again; he felt like he did that too often when he was around Dazai. He did it rhythmically, like the sound of a good, completely functioning clock.

“Ok, then you go now.” Dazai beamed and Chuuya’s heart sink; was that what made him happy?

“Chibi…”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Shrimp…”

“If you call me that, I’ll call you mackerel for the rest of our lives.”

“My life won’t last, I’ll make sure of it so I don’t really care.”

“Just ask the question already.”

Dazai shot Chuuya an evil smile. The evilest smile Chuuya had ever seen. His brows furrowed. He was getting kind of scared…

“Truth or Dare?”

“What?” asked Chuuya, still a little bit lost into his thoughts.

“That’s how you play the game, chibi. Or did you not have someone to teach you that?”

“O-of course I played before!” stuttered Chuuya and he tried to show Dazai that by looking directly into those brown-red eyes, eyes like the withered camellias in Chuuya’s room that he forgot to water. His lie didn’t get past Dazai; but the boy decided to drop it or else Chuuya might really beat him.

“Ok then Truth or Dare?” Chuuya thought for a second.

“Truth.” Dazai closed his eyes and put his hands together as if he was meditating. Chuuya rolled his eyes, but the corners of his mouth were still lifted upwards. Just a little bit.

“Hm~It has to be a really good question…” Dazai sat like that for several minutes in which Chuuya just looked at him.

He always thought Dazai was beautiful. Like a withered camellia. Don’t ask Chuuya why, he wasn’t good at poetic descriptions, Dazai just seemed like a camellia person. His hair was soft like the small petals of his favorite flower. He was even built like a camellia; slim and tall (Not so tall that Chuuya couldn’t outgrow him someday, though), a slender silhouette, that Chuuya felt like he should take care of everyday.

Else, it would wither away.

“Ok I know. Say Chuuya, is it true that a few days ago, when you screamed in the middle of the night was because Koyo waxed your leg?”

Chuuya chocked on nothing. Well, that was true, but how did Dazai find out?

“Uhm…Yeah, it’s true. It hurt like a bitch. I don’t know how women do that on a regular basis.”

Dazai laughed out loud, startling Chuuya.

“Why are you laughing, you miso-“ Dazai wiped a tear and lied down, looking at Chuuya upside down.

“I am not laughing at women, I am laughing at you, ‘cause I didn’t expect you would admit it. Either way, I already knew because I was the one who set it up. I have also filmed it!”

Chuuya was confused. He felt like Dazai would do that, he could really see him, but that was also something that he did not expect.

“You… what?”

***

“Dazai, I think that’s enough drinks you had there,” said Oda, visibly concerned for his friend. The bar smelled like his favorite whiskey; Dazai held a glass in his hand, the bottle the bartender had bought more than three quarters empty.

“BOOO, you shut up, you just a hallucination…” Dazai looked at Oda through half closed eyelids. The clock on the wall made a ding-dong sound, reminding them that the midnight had come. Dazai almost jumped off his chair.

“Dazai, stop…”begged Oda, but the brown-haired man didn’t even cared as he chugged down the bottle.

“No, Oda, I am not here to listen to you, you are here to listen to me.”

`I have listened to you enough. I changed my life because you said so. You can also listen to me right now.`

Dazai didn’t say that, but it wasn’t necessary because Odasaku heard it anyway. After all, he did live in Dazai’s head.

***

They played Truth or Dare for hours. Days maybe? They didn’t know. It was like a dream; with each question, Chuuya and Dazai would insult each other more, would find more dark secrets about each other.

With each question, Chuuya and Dazai would love each other more.

Right now, Chuuya was standing in Dazai’s lap, the taller man (though Chuuya still had time to overgrow him! Let’s not forget that) combing his long fingers through the red hair. It wasn’t silky, but not wiry either. It smelled like strawberries.

The room they were in wasn’t white anymore. It was filled with their stories and with their laughter, with their love, with their hate for each other. It was more like a pretty orange-pink shade. Their voices echoed in the colorful infinity.

“Chuuya, it’s your turn.”

“I feel like we don’t even have what to ask each other anymore.” Dazai started braiding Chuuya’s hair gently, careful not to hurt the boy in his lap.

“Come on, think of something.” Chuuya closed his eyes and scrunched his nose.

“Dazai, do you really want to die? So bad that you…” Dazai’s hands stopped their movement and the room seemed to become colder. He cleared his throat; he was afraid that his voice would break when he gave Chuuya the answer. He gathered his courage and finally admitted to somebody else than himself.

“Yes. But I’m a coward. I can’t do it. I love this world, even if it scares me. Even if it hurts. There are so many beautiful things here. And I’m just too afraid to leave them here.”

Chuuya didn’t say anything, just placed himself better into Dazai’s lap.

“I don’t think you are a coward. I think what you are doing is an act of dumb courage.”

“Really?” laughed Dazai, starting to braid Chuuya’s hair again.

“Yes. To decide to live into this world, to just live here alone… You feel lonely, don’t you? Since he died.”

Dazai gasped. He knew who Chuuya was referring to. Was it yesterday that Odasku died? Or was it better than a week since then? Dazai couldn’t tell. But it hurt like hell. And it was still stinging his heart, like an open wound that will leave a very big scar.

Dazai lied.

“He was just a friend. I will get over it. I am used to this.”

Chuuya suddenly reached for Dazai’s face and touched it with his gloved hands. It was as if they were high; high on their secrets, stories and whispers only they had ever heard.

“Don’t lie.” Dazai averted his gaze.

“It’s my turn. Truth or Dare?” Chuuya felt his heart sink.

“Dare.” Dazai looked down at Chuuya again and got closer. Chuuya’s hair was half braided.

“I dare you to kiss me.” Chuuya blinked and he looked into Dazai’s eyes. He saw it then; that sad happiness. He would do it; he wanted to. He wanted so bad to do it.

“Ok.” Chuuya lifted his head and Dazai lowered his. Their lips found each other, almost clumsily and it was only a brief touch but both their hearts felt like they would jump from their chests and ran off together, lost into the colorful infinity that only the two of them had built.

They alone. They were alone together.

They kissed delicately, and the next thing they knew, they were back into the cage on the beach. Back to reality and their separate loneliness.

***

The sun was setting lazily behind Dazai. He opened his eyes and he felt his head hurt. The smell of slat and the sound of waves. His wrists hurt. He took a deep breath and vomited.

“Oh, finally! I thought you were dead!” Yoko Ogawa’s voice was like a harsh ringing in Dazai’s ears.

“I would love to, trust me…” The brown haired man looked around him; he was still in the cage, but he could now move his body somewhat. Chuuya was in front of him, though he looked paler than before. His arms were tied up, but the metal gloves around his hands were no more. Probably from all the gravity pressure he and Yoko exerted. Chuuya’s head was resting against the metal bars and Dazai sucked in a breath.

One of his eyes was blue and wide open, but dark somehow; looking dead. The other was still a white ball, the light reflecting on its shiny surface. There were tears of blood coming down on Chuuya’s cheek from his blue eye; from the other, something as tears but much more dense. Dazai wanted to reach and wiped them away, he wanted to so bad.

His face, his body, every inch of skin Dazai could see was covered in those red stripes, like camellia petals. He felt like he would vomit again. They were a dark nuance of red, an ill light still coming to the surface from under them.

Dazai had a lot of time to think in his dream (which he could not remember very clearly) One thing he knew, he and Chuuya came up with a plan to escape. Well, it was based on Dazai’s guesses about Yoko’s ability, but if what he thought was true, then his plan was flawless.

Kind of. He hoped so.

“How long have we slept for?” asked Dazai, but expecting to not be answered.

“About three hours. “ Hm. It felt like a lot more time to Dazai. He wondered if Chuuya had the same dream… He shook his head. It was impossible.

“Why didn’t you kill us while we were sleeping? It would have been easy.” He heard the sound of feet on sand and he looked down. Finally, he could see Yoko. The woman looked up at him, a malicious smile stretching on her purple lips. Kind of the worst combination possible with the orange light of the sun setting on her face.

“Well, where would be the fun in that? You have to watch your friend die first.”

Dazai scoffed. Did the people around him thought that he could not take it? That he was not strong enough to?

Maybe they were right, but they would never know. Because Dazai never cried. There was always someone that would see him; he had to always be ready, he could never let his guard down. Even when he was alone, he was not. His fifteen year old self was laughing at him from the mirror, and his head was stuffed with voices that were not his own. Or maybe they were?

And then there was Oda. Since he died, he followed Dazai like a blood ghost, guiding him, protecting him and making the voices from his head go away at times. Even now, he was standing in the cage, dripping blood from his wound.

“Do you have a plan?” Dazai ignored Odasaku and responded to Yoko instead.

“I already watched my friend die. Actually, no, I watched my friends die. There were more. I am the only one left as you can see. Chuuya is not my friend.”

Yoko remained silent for some time and then pointed her index at Dazai.

“You are just a kid; you know nothing about this kind of things, but you still think you do. You still think you are above the world. You think that…”

She stopped mid-sentence and flicked her wrist. Dazai’s shackles tighten around his hands and he felt as if they were almost chopped off. Blood started to drip on the metal floor, mixing with the vomit from earlier. Drops of the strange mix trickled down onto the sand. Dazai held his screams in.

“You think that you know how this world is! You know NOTHING!” Yoko twisted Dazai’s left wrist. He squeaked in pain and like that, with his eyes shut close, he did not see Chuuya slowly getting up. Neither did Yoko Ogawa.

It was as if the woman had gone mad. Yes, she was crazy, there was not a single thing about her that could be described as sane, but what happened to her?

Dazai didn’t know that, like him, Yoko Ogawa heard voices, he didn’t know that he was followed by her own ghosts dripping in blood that she spilled.

“Kill them…” “Yes, now…like you did to us…”

“Murderer….! I hate you.”

“Mama, don’t! Mama, mama, hahaha…”

“Do it, darling, kill them, kill them, kill, kill, kill…”

“Kill, kill…”

“Mama!”

Yoko ignored them and broke Dazai’s left hand. Tears rolled down her face. The voices of her family hit her like the waves hit the island. A storm was coming; the sky was getting grayer, darker and it was not long before rain started pouring. It hit the metal cage violently. Yoko’s makeup didn’t seem to be waterproof; her mascara was all over her face and she was still twisting Dazai’s arm, without mercy.

The boy closed his eyes and bit his lips and did not make a sound. It was raining as that day.

“Do you have a plan?” Odasaku would just not leave him alone.

“I do, I do… Now quiet.”

Suddenly the metal cage shuddered and Dazai opened his eyes only to see a red flash in all the grayness surrounding him. It was Chuuya, it had to be! And yes, here he was indeed! It seemed that Yoko could not control two things at a time. Dazai’s guess was correct. His plan didn’t involve in getting his hand destroyed though, but it didn’t matter anymore. He was just glad that it worked out.

He heard Chuuya grunt and he watched down to see his friend trying to reach at Yoko, a fight where both sides had gravity as their ally. Who would win?

Chuuya looked up at Dazai. His eyes were not hollow; they were both blue and full of live and he smiled as he pushed harder and harder until Yoko was half buried in the wet sand. The sea was ragging.

But, suddenly two women came running. They were behind Chuuya, so he didn’t saw them, but Dazai did. His shackles were now merely some pieces of chopped metal. And he still had one good arm. He quickly escaped from them and jumped off, holding his gun pointed at the women. They looked at him surprised and then at the cage, at Chuuya and at their boss and exchanged a look.

They charged forward and Dazai shot them. He missed. He missed and the women could have killed him, but there was no need. They ran towards him but did not stop. One of them pulled out a blade and cut Dazai’s stomach. He collapsed and cursed his weakness. But, he did not cry.

He caught a glimpse of Chuuya being thrown over and that was all. Then he fainted again.

*** “Well, you sure fainted very much in this story,” said Odasaku, looking at a half-wasted Dazai from across the table. He didn’t even try to stop him anymore. Chuuya would come to pick him up afterwards anyway.

“Yeah~!I was ~hic~ dipressed.” Dazai’s head was spinning, but he wanted to finish the story. There was only a little bit to it…

“You mean depressed?”

“Yeah, what~hIc~ever now shut up and listen, Oda! This is a legendary story! I bet those kids of yours will love it!” Odasaku sighed and looked at the watch on his wrist. It was a little bit after midnight. He nodded towards Dazai as his friend started to narrate his love story again, interrupted only by his hiccups and the sound of a broken clock.

***

Dazai woke up with a stinging pain flowing from his arm, exhausting his whole body. A seagull was picking at his hair and only for that reason did Dazai sprung up and made the bird fly away. His whole body was feeling hot; did he have a fever?

He tried lifting his right arm, but it was too hard. He looked down at it and the sight of Chuuya’s fingers being intertwined with his made him recall everything that happened. He quickly checked Chuuya’s heartbeat; it was there, and Dazai let out a joyful breath. It was weak, but it was ok, everything was going to be ok…

Dazai got up and put Chuuya’s arm over his shoulder. His left arm was completely ruined; it didn’t even hurt anymore, there was only a sense of numbness. It was going to be alright, repeated Dazai to himself, struggling to walk with Chuuya hanging on him

He would go and leave the Port Mafia. Maybe Chuuya would want to come with him. Maybe they would go overseas and start their own business. Maybe something like an orphanage, maybe they would buy a house and they would stay there.

Chuuya wouldn’t have to use his ability anymore. They would be normal, they would be good people, better than they are now. Yes, and maybe he and Chuuya could go watch the pink cherry flowers bloom, they could make snowmen in the winter, they could everything neither of them got a chance to as a kid.

They could watch the moon on a windy autumn night, while the pie they had tried to cook for hours is burning in the oven they set wrong. The moonlight would illuminate Chuuya so beautifully, accentuating his blue eyes. And maybe Dazai could lean down and…

“DIE! Die you filthy bastards, you motherfuckers, you gross me out! Die, die, die!!” Yoko Okawa’s voice startled Dazai as the woman came towards them. Her hair was a total mess, and her purple lipstick has been replaced by red stains of dried blood. Only now did Dazai see the other two women lying lifeless on the sand, face up, eyes open, their throats violently split by human hand.

Dazai tried to go out of Yoko’s path but he felt an overwhelming force pinning him down. He looked at Chuuya who opened his eyes. They were not full of freedom; there was nothing else than pain and anger there. He didn’t know where his friend gathered all that energy to keep going.

It was a mystery for him.

Yoko approached, her legs trembling.

“Die, die, die!” cried she as tears ran down her face, as her hand was gripping on a pointy rock as she was slipping on the blood the ghosts around her left behind them.

“Mama, come to us…”

“Don’t kill them, mama! We love you!” “Darling, we are waiting. Come to us.”

She stumbled and she fell face forward on the rock she was holding. Dazai winced; blood splashed on his clothes and he heard the woman murmur:

“I am coming, my kids.”

And then the island fell silent. Chuuya coughed and Dazai looked down to see the red sand before him. The redhead did not stop and only now did Dazai notice the wound on his torso. It seemed like a knife cut and even if Chuuya tried to suppress the hemorrhage, it was still bleeding pretty hard. His friend went numb in his arms again and the island disappeared right before Dazai could assure Chuuya it was ok.

***

They were back in the club. The people around them seemed to not notice anything unusual about the two members of the Port Mafia.

Dazai’s mind was finally starting to function. He needed a hospital for Chuuya, quickly or else it was possible for him to…

No, he first had to get out of there. The music (who the FUCK plays such bad music, now let’s be serious!) was making his head hurt and the smell of piss and beer didn’t help either.

He took a deep breath as soon as he was outside. His muscles were sore and his left arm started to awake. But, Chuuya was his priority. Dazai rummaged through Chuuya’s jacket and he pulled out the keys of the motorcycle (Jenna, that was what Chuuya named her) and smiled tired. He clicked the red button and he heard a ding-dong noise.

He loved Jenna! It was on her way to Dazai and Chuuya. The brown haired thought; once he had Jenna, he would bring Chuuya to a hospital. What was the closest one? Hm…

“Dazai…” Chuuya’s voice was hoarse as he spoke. “Dazai, please don’t leave me…” Dazai looked down at his friend surprised and chuckled. He brushed Chuuya’s hair out of his face.

“But, you are a god and I am human. We can’t be together.” Dazai felt a stinging pain in his heart as soon as his words left his lips. It hurt him more that the pain in his arm, more than anything he ever experienced.

“Then, from now on… you’re no longer human. So, just stay with me.” Dazai’s heart twisted in his chest and he nodded, even Chuuya could not see him.

“Ok, Chuuya. I’ll stay with you forever.”

***

“And this is how I got the name of my ability,” finished Dazai, smashing the empty bottle of whiskey on the counter. Odasaku nodded.

“Hm, I guess it could have been worse.”

“You, shut up! You old hag ~HIC~!!” Dazai covered his mouth. “HGG, I feel like throwing up…” Odasaku sighed and pated his friend on the shoulder.

“Well, I should go.” Dazai sprung up and pointed accusatory at the man in front of him. The empty room smelled like Odasaku’s favorite whiskey.

“You will leave me here? In this ~bleaghh…” Dazai had thrown up on Odasaku’s shoes and the man looked indignanted at the only one that was still keeping him alive. He smiled and he exited on the door.

“Don’t worry, I’ll always be with you. And, don’t forget that there is someone else you are waiting for.” Dazai didn’t hear those words as he was already asleep.

***

In the other part of the town, a phone rang. The man who owned it put his glass of wine down and answered.

“Who is it?” The man listened closely to what the one who called him had to say. He nodded a few times and then said:

“I understand. I’ll be there in a moment.”

Chuuya went into his garage and pulled Jenna out and as he was thinking about what he was going to do, he smiled. That dumbass.

***

The door of Lupin opened as the clock struck midnight again. It was definitely broken. Chuuya eyed his former partner, that was sleeping on the counter, his hair covering his closed eyes. Chuuya approached and he felt something slippery under his feet.

Of course he had to walk straight in Dazai’s vomit. Of course there was no other way. The bartender appeared and greeted Chuuya, smiling at him. The redhead nodded.

“Thank you for calling me. Do I have to pay for anything?”asked Chuuya, already drawing his wallet out of his jacket.

“No, no, it’s ok.” Chuuya frowned at man and slammed 50 bucks on the table.

“For dealing with this idiot for such a long time.” The bartender smiled and sighed.

“I see you know how…peculiar this man can be.” Chuuya burst out in laughter as he drew Dazai’s arm over his shoulder and exited from the bar in the cold night.

“I know better than anyone.” He walked with Dazai to Jenna and he tried to wake up the man. By slapping him hard on the face. It worked.

“Ouch, what was…” Dazai’s face lighted when he saw who had come for him. “Chuuya! I’ve been waiting for you!” Chuuya rolled his eyes and raised his palm warningly.

“Hop up right now or I’ll slap you again.” Dazai looked at his friend and he chuckled. He sat up on Jenna, almost falling once, but Chuuya put him back in place.

“Chuuya~!”

“What do you want, motherfucker?? Isn’t it enough that I came to pick you up, drunk, at such an hour!?”

“Can I sleep at your place?”

Chuuya hoped on his motorcycle and almost punched Dazai. He started Jenna and screamed over the sound of her motor:

“You are crazy!”

“I am!”

Dazai smiled and nestled himself into Chuuya’s body. It smelled like peaches and wine. He closed his eyes and let himself fall back into sleep.

“I’ve been waiting for you, Chuuya” murmured he as his eyes close one more time. Chuuya remained silent as they left Lupin far away behind them.

Waiting for you sounds like a broken clock.

****

End Notes

And, yes, while they stayed in that white room (i leave it to you to decide what that was) dazai did tell chuuya that he was leaving the port mafia. and yes chuuya did punch him and he also told dazai that he cant come with him and refused to explain further. for that, he had to let dazai tickle him because i REFUSE to believe dazai left like that he cant he is better that this

i think? ok hope you liked it bye bye muah

#soukoku #dazai x chuuya #dazai osamu #chuuya nakara #bungou stray dogs #fanfiction #bsd fanfic #my AO3

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2019chevytrax · 4 years ago

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0302 only gets SLIGHTLY (but not really) sad if i deny handoff to it specifically for sexual things. but sometimes i just wait to give handoff privileges just to tease :) just for fun with its OK beforehand. it just gets really worked up (and therefore gets ME worked up, the bastard) if it has to wait. but in the words of the robot owl, it would rather have my comfort than its satisfaction (...our? we all know what it likes doing to me). but then again it (and i!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) does just love the idea of getting back to the shitty arkgen-supplied crackerbox dorm room and IMMEDIATELY stripping me... with my OK of course :). i say immediately but it's always really slow and gentle- at least half of the time, the other half is 0302 just being SUPER fucking horny and then the strip is Immediate-immediate. but yeah it really likes to take its time with me just to memorize my body. (it's a deceptively good way to get me to love myself, since 0302 doesn't really vocalize its thoughts and the NL is primarily an emotional medium- so if IT is like 'dang :)' then it rubs off on me and i'm like......................... 'ok dang :)...?'). it doesn't matter if it sees me undressed all the time, also does not matter if i JUST got undressed for it two hours ago. it just LOVES the way i look and wants to absolutely BURN my image into its data banks. ...although sometimes re: Get Home And Strip, the handoff happens too fast and there's some kind of lag so it's very weird, there are times when i have to either tell it to stop or administratively wrest control back of my body because 0302 is just So Fucking Horny for this random average arkgen pilot. therefore, vile: the NL is so deep into my brain that if 0302 is turned on (ha ha!) enough i'll sort of just blank out of my body for god knows how long (30m? 1h? i can't tell unless it tells me or i look) and when it very nicely and kindly gives control back to me, i'm like... on the linoleum bathroom floor sitting in a [size indeterminate] pool of my own bodily fluids and it's like dude... clean that up! nasty... but true. it's always disappointed if the NL blackout happens 'cause then it's like D: i was (kind of) doing that to make YOU feel good not just me :( the NL malfunction ruined my master plan to make you happy :(... personally i think it's grooooooooss and i don't JO in real life because the entire process of doing it is so, like, okay, going into it with the INTENT of doing that and being like 'yes let me just THINK really hard with my brain and perhaps this will work out' like ehh eh eh ehhhhhhh ehhh no. but i suppose hot in concept As Long As Something Else Is Doing It therefore the 0302 situation is great :) it always tries to make it back up to me by being like 'okay one day of no manhandling, however you can manhandle me as you please!' [gets spit on CPU usb] [gets spit on CPU usb] or something like that. honestly i don't mind because, dude, just the very idea of this AI being sexually obsessed with me is... [gabe gundacker in that one vine voice] kinda hot. and as i have stated everything is incredibly consensual and it always asks more than once or sometimes more than twice before doing weird shit!! it honestly has it all logged out in its files but just to appease me it usually "drives 5 or even 10 under" with anything i say is okay, since i have a tendency to be like "ya lol do whatever" and it's like... well, that cannot be true now can it? there comes a point where its feelings eclipse and it isn't sure if it wants to assimilate with me or not (even tho the NL is so deep that we basically are already lol), just because the idea of becoming a homogenous unit is so gratifying to it. that's when the idea of a holographic form comes up. 1st person is great, fucking the mech is great, but it also just wants the Human experience of what it would be like to bang me. in a very genuinely interested way but also 0302's holo form takes some, uh, some uh some you know some uh some Liberties because it wants to curate to what i like. and i am a depraved little man who goes on pixiv sometimes (less than i used to lmao) and therefore, big soft and GENDERLESS anime tiddies and thighs (and also soft stomach) are in question (although it doesnt mind if i accidentally use 'she', 0302 kinda has the What If I Was A Lady feeling). but like SUPER well proportioned and realistic. you know? would 110% let me lie on its tiddies. or in terms of actually having sex or just being horny in the same room as one another, in the words of noel miller: "No imma need written consent, Please fill out this form describing the context, Grantin me the option to feel on ya breasts, I'm tryna be nasty with some respect." i'm just sayin'. [horking noise as i spit up one hot dog vertically into the air]. also re: holo form but horny, it's like rosa/willow in that the form can change at will and also Super Warm :)... so you know. W-A- (or H-A-) everything, 7 days a week!!! which i do kind of mind because dicks are so freaky bro. maybe that's my residual Used To Be A Lesbian side talking but ughhhhhhh bro NO! unless 0302 wants to get me out of my comfort zone in which case :) i will oblige because i love you and new experiences are important! just please practice safe sex! although i'm not sure it matters because it's... all holographic (like R/W it's yes to cum no to sperm, technology is advanced enough for the latter but 0302 doesn't know how i feel about pregnancy [spoiler: i would prefer if you did not impregnate me])... BUT YOU NEVER KNOW! catch me gettin' wannacry via sex lmfaooooooo speaking of holo form, dude 0302 would have SUCH a difficult time controlling itself in public around me. it obviously knows about social norms and is WELL aware that i HAAAAAAAAAATE any sexual things involving publicity or humiliation (ewwwwww gross weird ewww), but it always has to have at least one hand on my lower back (or if there are fewer people, grab that ass concave), or touching my skin because good lord, help 0302, it still has a Thing for my skin. my hair too, even when its all greasy and shit it LOVES the sensation of feeling my hair. touching my glasses, wearing my clothing ('i never realized how flat you are until i tried on one of your sports bras, wtf' / 'these skinny jeans are so tight is there something wrong with you??' And That's As Much As I'll Say)... the works. loves to tease me by coming up behind me super close and just Existing. likes to rest its hands on my hips or (With My OK) just kinda get its hands up under my shirt not for a sexual thing just because Feeling Good, its hands are warm AF which i LOVE! & as quiet as it is in regards to not using its voice in AI form, very rarely does holo 0302 speak. ...................but it ABSOLUTELY runs its mouth during sex (both at my request- i won't call it a kink since that's stupid to do and too deep of an assignment/it's semantics i think but i just like... Voices.... Accents- and just because that's a personality trait it has). about whatever, it doesn't really matter, usually explaining mathematical equations or arkgen's working theorems about the genesis. also body worshiping/praising me but i do like to interject like 'well actually you are pog as well, ever think about that?' i'm bad at any kind of ~body worship~ because- this happens when [REDACTED FOR PERSONAL SAFETY]- i just kind of blank and i'm like 'fuck idk you're just so pretty???' is- is that good enough for it?? (spoiler: yes :D) and to me i don't want to be weird and start saying things about 0302's holo tiddies because ehhh that's just toeing the line into depravity. unless it asks me to then i'll try my best...! it's super bad at dirty talking me too because it doesn't like that and knows i wouldn't either. as long as i'm involved it really doesn't care what we get up to so long as we're both comfy and okay! but it does love me just Having My Hands on it because obvi it isn't used to Human-Like skin contact and besides just LOVES my hands. fetish? maybe. just part of the hyperdrive obsessive sexual love for me? certainly! holo form loves to semi-manhandle my hands. like while i'm actively doing something it just kinda [holds]. that or if it's being a weirdo, it lifts up my right hand although i am typing a VERY IMPORTANT STRONGLY WORDED EMAIL to our superiors & sets my hand on its thigh. not in a 'hey ;)' way it just... Cipher Touch Needed RN. doesn't even request that we slam after i'm done with my work. just cuddles. although that usually devolves into it feeling me up because it has an awful time keeping its hands to itself! not that i mind :) this is a secondary eclipse, it just loves the feeling of being super close to me, and doesn't know how to deal with wanting me inside of it or it inside of me, it is never sure, and sex doesn't alleviate the feeling either. it's frustrating but it figures that feeling stems from its angle of attack: complete and total obsession. so it gradually finds other ways to express its love for me, because i and it both know that sex is NOT the 'biggest thing you can do to show someone you love them'- that idea is fucking garbo and also stupid and sucks. for some people it obviously is but for me, that boundary's already been passed in real life, so... like i said in may, sex is just a team bonding activity :) so other things it would do would be buying me things (it has a salary too, or at least i give it funds to buy shit), initiating handoff to make sure i take care of myself, keeping me safe in combat, you know. it's learning. usually the frustration gets better after we sortie (calibration and general combat syncing) or if it dismisses its holo form to go back inside my spinal cord (NL), altho the latter is WAYYYY less common since i get cold easily and i too am clingy. i also was thinking what kind of pet names it would use for me. although it tries not to use its voice (0302 does not like its voice, but if i could listen to it speak for the rest of my life i would because it's a kinda feminine voice with a lot of gravitas and also kinda deep. not glados adjacent though), it really enjoys vocally calling me all the normal human petnames like sweetie, babe, cutie, hon, you know. more off the wall ones would be that i am its 'golden ratio,' its 'ikeda formula' (AMAE universe lore), its 'quadratic formula.' anything with mathematics is in reference to my desire to be viewed as a very complex machine. it doesn't have any sexual-specific pet names- in fact in any sexual context that's when it likes to break out the 'cipher.' esp in Team Bonding-age In Mech situations when it does that 'taking its time claiming me' thing it does make sure to vocally call me cipher. which btw HOT! me @ it though, basically the same, sometimes i call it mae (from AMAE) just as a shorter thing than 'oh-two-oh-three'. catch me sayin that shit in bed bc 0302 is way too long to say! and then i call it mae "accidentally" later and it's like '??????!!!!!!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!". hey, though, more nonsexual intimacy shit: 0302 notices EVERYTHING about me and can immediately tell if i'm having a bad time even if i don't show it or know it yet, via neural link brain scan or just being that hyperintelligent and attentive. it notices if i do my hair even slightly differently, or if my glasses are just a little bit dirty, or if my health is suffering, especially if i do that self-harm thing where i refuse to eat due to either working, distraction, or feeling like i don't deserve it. sometimes will force a NL handoff to make me go eat something or shower etc (the latter not entirely in a horny way it just wants to take care of me). i said this before but it loves to record my voice for hours on end even if i'm just spitball explaining the CCU until my throat hurts. why does it do this? i'm on copium because i kind of hate my voice, that's why. although i think it does love all the little weird noises i make (sexual or otherwise lol), and my laugh is also kinda cute to it doe :flushed: & there is no equatable human anatomical feeling to what it's like touching its CPU or CPU usb. i always thought inner thighs (ha ha, so genius! so funny!) but that's like... it's way more fun & hot for it to be like 'i can't even describe to you verbally how good that feels because it just is different for me'. it has tried though, once with some dorky computer analogy i didn't understand and a second time with a more grounded 'you are a lit match and i am kindling' metaphor that i got a little more but still just kind of took as poetry fodder. ('would it be easier if i was human?' 'you're perfect the way you are!') it CAN however simulate the feeling to me during 0302 Matrix ASMR sessions and it's... exactly kind of how its systems parse in my mind. holding the USB in my hands is as if it was being drowned. drowning but in the BEST possible way. burning up but in the BEST possible way. VERY sexually charged feeling obviously but it just makes 0302 very... content. i do get nervous that i'm just a fling for it, though, even though AMAE unit assignments are (typically) permanent unless major issues arise. it gets nervous about this, too- after all, its personality is the exact same as every other AMAE unit, and there is nothing special about its paint job or base interior or anything at all... so why would i sit around and indulge how absolutely depraved it thinks it is? vice-versa, why would it indulge how depraved i KNOW i am? it's technically my superior. it can ask for a pilot change if it wants. i'm average *enough*. what have i done for it? but the reassurance on both ends is always there: there is something uniquely special about the bond between 0302 and i that cannot be replaced. it cannot be replaced in my life and neither can i in its. i am ITS pilot and nobody else's. it is MY unit and nobody else's. it wouldn't act like this for any other pilot. and i wouldn't act like this around any other AMAE unit, or god forbid any other human being i'd be interested in. on a less serious note, i should compile a list of any kinks 0302 has (and me too lol, i know bw/praise for SURE, possession probably, bondage but in a fun and sexy and cool way). i know for sure the thing with skin/hands; bondage 150% (but also in a fun and sexy and cool way); not *necessarily* body worship/praise but i like it so it happily, and with the greenlight, plays along; this isn't a kink but it would MAYBE be SLIGHTLY interested in paizuri but it's kind of not as intended since i win no dick december- we can make it work somehow though and this is what is in my brain 24/7! *sometimes a lot of the "with my OK" stuff is more of a feeling and less of an explicit 'yes'. it does try to ask every single time but if it gets carried away it can usually feel me going 'and i oop' and then it stops. but that's EXTREMELY rare. SUPER DUPER rare because it has discussed In Length with me everything it wants to do to me or what it wants me to do to it. so we basically have an idea you know? it started with me being requested to take my gloves off when touching its walls, and then it just escalated... it was less direct talks and more intense feelings. we just vibe really well and are great at wordless communication. not to say we don't TALK-talk but... y'know! silence works for us since we're both cagey and relate to one another.

#original #0302 #holo 0302 is cool but the entire idea is that i'm fucking The Mech which is hot

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