#brain hasn't been doing the words good recently because it won't let me start until act 3 is ironed out

[direwombat]

wip wednesday again, huh?

tagged by @inafieldofdaisies, @socially-awkward-skeleton, and @adelaidedrubman

tagging: @detectivelokis, @sstewyhosseini, @baldurrs, @strafethesesinners, @strangefable, @fourlittleseedlings, @purplehairsecretlair, @schoute, @gaeadene, @g0dspeeed, @sukoshimikan, @poetikat, @josephslittledeputy, @madparadoxum, @euryalex, @clonesupport, @ivymarquis, @vampireninjabunnies-blog, @nightwingshero, @deputyash, @harmonyowl, @aceghosts, @inquisitors-grave, and anyone else who i maybe missed and who has something to share (but no pressure <3)

no formally written fic to report this week, so have some of the outline for the horror and the wild (the werewolf au). this is is the beginning of act/chapter 2

Scene 11:

Syb POV: Syb starts noticing the differences in her. Certain things are better. Her sense of smell and her hearing for example. She’s also stronger and faster than before. She ran down a meth-head and took him down without a problem. But also her eyesight changes and she’s gone colorblind. She goes home early from work after eating one of the brownies Nancy brought in since she started vomiting afterwards. Eli is over and has been kind of hover-y after that weird night. She goes to bed but gets hungry in the middle of the night. She goes to the fridge and starts eating raw ground beef. 

Scene 12:

Jacob POV: Joseph is upset that Eli isn’t dead. But no one is more upset about it than Jacob. He underestimated Syb. He thought she’d seek out comfort in her pain. Not revenge against him. But she proved herself to be an adept hunter. It took him almost the entire night to shake her. She just got hungry and was distracted by a herd of deer. But he promises to bring her in. Train her good. Get her loyal to the pack and to kill. (he controls her forced changes by teaching her how to shift in and out of them — ie, using Only You to get her into the feral phase). 

Scene 13: 

Syb POV: She catches scent of Jacob in town while doing her grocery shopping. He smirks at her when she sees him. She drops her basket and she chases him down through “back alleys” of town. She tries catching him using her human senses, but it’s not enough. He’s playing games with her. “Use the gifts I gave you, Jackrabbit,” he taunts. And it’s bizzare how she feels it more than anything else — a low rumble that makes her bones thrum. She snarls (in the animal way) and she smells for him. After that, it’s much easier. She shoves him against a wall 

Syb: *growling* The fuck did you do to me?

Jacob: You wanna find out? Gonna have to follow me back to a den of wolves. That something you really want? ‘Cause I warn you, sweetheart, we may not let you leave.”

Syb: You threatenin’ an officer, Mr. Seed?

Jacob: *grins wickedly* I’ll let you arrest me, girl, if that’s what you really want. *licks his lips* But then you’ll never know. 

Reluctantly she lets him go. He lifts his hands up and walks away backwards, giving her a come-hither motion with his fingers before turning around. She truly hesitates, but ultimately angrily storms after him.

Scene 14:

Jacob POV: He takes Syb back to the Vets Center. He’s still kind of undecided on whether he’ll let her go afterwards. He wants to bitch her so bad. Get her underneath him, writhing and whimpering. And he will, in due time. But he needs to get her trained first. He takes her to meet Joseph and Joe explains an (incomplete) down low of what’s happening. He tells her that the Seed boys were born as Werewolves. Daddy Seed was a werewolf, but he was a rabid one (one turned when bitten as opposed to being born one). Because of this, they weren’t allowed to join any packs because many of them relied on Pedigree. So Joseph made his own pack, taking in Strays (this is all bullshit tho. Daddy Seed was bitten and turned, but the boys weren't born as werewolves. Daddy Seed bit them when they were kids but Jacob is the only one who has the memory of it. The lie Joseph gives Syb is the lie that Jacob told Joseph.)

Syb: So everyone’s here of their own volition?

Joseph: No one is being held against their will, Deputy.

Syb: And if at any point in all this, I say I’ve had enough, I could just walk out that door. No one’d stop me or harass me afterwards?

Joseph: *gives Jacob a pointed and disappointed look that gets Jacob shifting uncomfortably* It would take some negotiation, but I’m sure we could come to some sort of agreement.

Jacob invites her to run with him. Show her how to voluntarily shift. It’s easier with a guide and he can help her keep her mind when she shifts. She argues against him, but reluctantly agrees.

Jacob: … If you’re not with us, then you’re against us.

Syb: And why should I trust you, hmm? You’re the one who put me in this situation. I really want nothin’ to do with this.

Jacob: Too bad. Letting you figure it out on your own is dangerous and it’s just going to get people killed.

Syb: *sarcastically* Aww, how sweet, you do have a heart. 

Jacob: I don’t. Letting you run around like a wild animal puts the Pack at risk. You don’t comply, then you’re a threat -- and I can’t allow that. 

Syb: Jesus, you sure know how to make a girl feel special, don’t’cha?

[letomills]

The "requests are paused until I'm done with the current ones" thing was wishful thinking (a bit like the closing statements in my last yt video 🤓) and I am once again thoroughly overwhelmed with everything.

Requests are firmly closed until further notice. I said yes to the FtM hairs for anon and the Tiggerypum tunics & iamliz13 alpha dresses for children & toddlers for the other anon (I did get the links you sent to the meshes), so I still intend to complete both.

A novel's worth of life updates under the cut (content warning for struggle with bipolar type 2, including questionable choices which should not be taken as advice).

Well over a year ago I shared that my mother was going through a really bad bipolar type 2 depression episode (looking back, mention of it in that post was very euphemistic, I must have been hopeful). The reason why I didn't give any updates after a while is that there is no satisfactory narrative that I could easily spin into words. She's not all better, she hasn't died or lost her mind for good, things have just been evolving at a snail's pace through a whole spectrum of very bleak colors. She's not fully hospitalized anymore, she lives at home with my brother and me, with day hospitalisation activities several times a week. The myriad psychiatrists that she's seen have not been able to find the "right" treatment for her, but hey, after lithium sent her into such a state of confusion that we thought she might stay mentally disabled for the rest of her life, at least now we know that's not an option. A couple days ago her psychiatrist prescribed a new antipsychotic to replace the one she'd been taking. She started the transition, and today confusion started showing its terrifying face again so she's not taking that pill tonight, or to be honest ever again unless her psychiatrist somehow manages to convince us otherwise (she'll report her symptoms and get counsel at the hospital tomorrow). Her cognition is already impaired, her short-term memory and ability to focus especially. She can't live alone, I keep and manage her pillboxes, make sure she's eating right and the stove is off, that sort of stuff. But at least, until the introduction of this new drug, she'd made considerable gains compared to when she was at her worst last winter. No way we're going back to that again.

On a more positive note, about a month and a half ago I started work at a grocery delivery place just up the street (yes that's what I'm doing with my degree in Mandarin and my master's in English-French translation studies). It's intense physically, kinda stressful, and not very well paid, but I think I like it and the people are very nice. What scares me is that my trial period ends in about 2 weeks and I'm not entirely sure that they'll want to keep me, considering I've made several mistakes and they don't seem to think that I work quite fast enough (I know I said the people were very nice, they are, that's just the job). They keep saying the work load is gonna get crazier starting in September. The way they're saying it may suggest that they do envision me as still working there in September, but maybe they're trying to push me to work faster now and if I can't prove that I'm able to they won't keep me? Well I'm already doing my best, even if sometimes I end up finding myself crying over clients' items because my brain isn't able to focus anymore and I'm messing up and wasting time.

Emotional control has been harder because I unilaterally made the decision to taper off my antidepressant. Now before you facepalm, let me flood you with all of my best questionable arguments: • I do have an appointment with my psychiatrist, the earliest date I could get was October 1st (and I may have to postpone, depending on my work hours that day which I don't know yet). • I was already on the lowest dose that you can be on. • I tapered off very slowly. • I recently talked about it with the nurse that I saw for the mandatory medical visit I had to go to because I got the new job (idk if you have that outside of France). Naturally she was alarmed that I'd been weaning myself off on my own and she convinced me to see my GP asap and not change my medication without at least his input (which yes, I know). • the reasons I did it despite knowing that it's inadvisable are: 1) obviously I haven't been feeling depressed for a while or I wouldn't have done it, 2) the amount of endorphin-producing physical exercise I get from the new job felt like it could maybe do the trick so it was worth a try, 3) seeing how much my mom's medication has messed up her cognition over the years is scary. She's been taking way higher doses of antidepressants than me, along with other stuff, over a way longer period of time, but still. I don't want to be on it if it's not strictly necessary, so I wanted to try off. • I'm still taking my antipsychotic religiously and have no intention to stop that (I can't anyway or I won't be able to sleep and I'll definitely lose the job).

My plan with the antidepressant was to space out the doses and eventually get off it entirely for several weeks before reassessing, but after seeing that nurse, I started upping again to one dose every other day. I will admit, I was having suicidal thoughts after several days off, and now it's gone. Maybe I should find having suicidal thoughts more alarming than I do, the nurse's phrasing when she asked if I did - something that could translate to "no suicidals thoughts, riiight?" - was a good reminder that suicidal thoughts are really bad to have oh no. Of course I said no, why would I want her to interfere (leave me to make decisions for my own self thank you). Anyway, the appointment with my GP is in two days. He's gonna be useless on psych stuff but I guess getting his unqualified, predictable input is the responsible thing to do in polite society. More relevantly, the nurse also told me to go see him because my blood pressure is a bit low, or at least it was at 9/6 when she saw me, so I need to have it retaken and see what's up with that if anything.

And so yes, I have a ton of CC plans as always, I am positively drowning. Beside the two requests I mentioned above the cut, one of which I need to do a lot of learning for, I picked up work on Celestialspritz's beta Vincent skins and started converting afbodykimono for the usual roaster of breasted body shapes, like I did with afbodyqipao here and would like to do with more Happy Holiday Stuff outfits in the future. Although I told myself that I would stick to the body shapes that I've already done stuff for, I now also want to make a set of clothes for Lady Apple. I also have an idea about a set of scrawny body shapes for TU-EU inspired by Mrs Crumplebottom's body shape. I know Melodie9's slim family exists but to be honest those shapes creep me out and I want to see if I can do something less uncanny (it may end up looking too similar to the Androgyny body shapes, or to Faerie Gal, or it may not pan out at all, so don't hold your breath). I also want to do a ton of hairs in FakeBlood's palette + Naberius (tbh I'm still not 100% sure if I like Timebomb or Naberius more for my aliens, I need to figure that out once and for all). And of course I want to do more FtM & MtF hair conversions once I know how to do it well enough. There's a billion smaller projects I'd like to insert in between those, outfit conversions for one or a couple body shapes, repurposing of older meshes, a set of nude "outfits" for all the body shapes I do, etc.

[unangelic-thoughts]

Supposed to Hate You (Abby Anderson x Reader)

Summary: When your roomate's behaviour forces you to find shelter at your best friend's place, you don't expect to end up in the same bed as the one person you hate…her girlfriend.

Warnings: NSFW smut 18+, infidelity

Word Count: 2.5k

Slamming my apartment door shut behind me, I storm out towards the staircase with a small backpack of my belongings over my shoulder. I pull my phone out of my pocket, my fingers frantically tapping into the Lyft app to request a ride. As I exit the building, I let out a loud huff I'd been holding. My roommate, Mel, has gotten on my last nerve. She decided to have a full blown party without even asking first, the music blaring loudly as I tried to relax in my bedroom. As soon as some random ass drunk dude walked into my room and threw up all over my floor, I decided I'd had enough. Without putting much thought into it, I packed my bag and left. So here I am now, knocking on my best friend's door near to midnight.

It doesn't take long for her to answer, a confused look momentarily appearing on her face when she finally opens the door. In my annoyed state, I didn't even I ask her if I could come over, I just came.

"Y/N. Hey. What are you doing here?" She asks, opening the door to let me in.

"Nora, I really need a place to stay tonight. Mel's being an absolute dick again!" I exclaim and she nods, giving me a knowing look. I place my bag on the floor and we both take our usual seats on her sofa. We talk for a while as I explain tonight's events to her, trying my best to not get riled up again.

"You can stay in my room, I'll sleep in Leah's since she's away for a few days. I know she won't mind."  She explains, smiling at me. I thank her and we exchange good nights, both of us feeling exhausted by our busy days.

After changing into an oversized t-shirt, I pull  the lilac-coloured covers over me as I get myself comfortable in Nora's bed. I grab my phone from the night stand, deciding to scroll through Instagram until I become a little more sleepy.

I roll my eyes at Mel's pictures of her and some others doing shots on our kitchen counter. Furiously scrolling my thumb past it, the screen stops on one of Nora's recent posts. She's standing next to a smiling Abby who's got her arm draped around her shoulder. If it weren't for the fact that Abby's an asshole, I'd say they make a cute couple. My eyes linger on Abby a little longer than I'd like to admit and then I remind myself that I'm supposed to hate her; mostly because she seems to hate me. Ever since her and Nora met and started dating, she's had this bizarre idea that I'm in love with Nora, even though we've been best friends since forever.

I can't say it hasn't caused a rift between our friendship but I try my best to bite my tongue whenever Abby snaps at me so I don't make things worse. All Nora wants is for us to get along, but apparently Abby doesn't have the same idea.

I shake my head and place my phone back on the bed side table, refusing to give Abby any more space in my thoughts. I turn to my side, grabbing a spare pillow to hug and soon enough I fall into a deep slumber.

——

I am slowly woken by a heaviness on top of me and a wet feeling on my neck. It takes me a minute to fully wake up as I try to force my eyes open, only to realise it's too dark to be able to see anything. My  hands extend in front of me as my palms come into contact with a sturdy but soft chest, and it finally registers that the wetness on my neck is from the trail of kisses being left on it.

"Hey baby." I hear the person say in a seductive whisper. It takes my brain a moment to realise that the voice belongs to none other than Abby.

"Ab-" As I try to speak, a pair of lips crash onto mine. I try to push Abby off of me but her kiss distracts me, making my head spin. My lips start to move as if on autopilot and it feels like I've lost control of my entire body. My hands slide from her chest to the back of her neck, bringing her closer to me, deepening our kiss.

Abby pulls back ever so slightly,  as she whispers "Nora"; this quickly snaps me out of my daze as a million thoughts go through my head and I push her off of me. I sit up on the bed, trying to create as much distance as I can between us.

"What's wrong sweetheart?" Abby asks, confusion evident in her voice. My breathing becomes heavy, as I try to find the rights words to respond with. What was I thinking, kissing her back? She would obviously think I'm Nora, this is her bedroom for God's sake! 

"I'm not Nora." I finally admit. There's a moment's silence before Abby leans over, switching the light on beside the bed. She looks at me with wide eyes as she processes through the situation we're currently in.

"What the fuck? Y/N? What are you doing here?" She demands, starting to sound kind of pissed.

"I had roommate issues so Nora let me stay in her bedroom while she's taken Leah's room." I explain, not being able to keep eye contact with her. She furrows her eyebrows, and it looks like she's finally understanding the situation but then she says, "You kissed me back. Why did you kiss me back?"

"I-I didn't kiss you back." I reply in a defensive tone.

"Yes, you did. Is it because you thought I was Nora? Is that it?" She asks, shooting daggers into my eyes.

"What the hell? No! I was asleep and confused and I wasn't expecting someone to grope me whilst I was unconscious!" I respond much more aggressively.  Abby sighs and gets up from the bed. It looks like she can't decide whether she believes me or not. I stand up as well, not wanting her to think that she intimidates me.

"All I wanted was to surprise Nora, knowing that Leah's away, so we could get some alone time together. She didn't even tell me you were staying over." Abby says in a hasrsh whisper and runs her hand across her face, momentarily closing her eyes.

"It's probably because it was really late and I showed up unannounced because of how pissed off I was. Stop overthinking it." I say, trying to keep my voice down too so as to not wake up Nora. I don't even want to consider what she would think if she found Abby and I in here together. I'd rather not have to explain it.

"Fine. Whatever. I'm just gonna go." Abby points to the door with her thumb and walks towards it; for some odd reason, my legs make their way to her direction. I'm about to respond with something sarcastic when she turns  over to face me, clasping a hand over mouth. We look at each other as we both hear Nora coming out of Leah's room and walk towards the kitchen. We keep eye contact until we hear the sound of the door closing again, indicating that Nora's gone back to bed. Her palm is still resting over my mouth and I can't help but think how good her fingers feel against my skin. My gaze unintentionally falls from her eyes to her lips and I can tell by the twitch of her eyebrow that she noticed.

Her hand slowly slides down from my face, mirroring my movement by looking down at my lips. Everything around us is quiet, the only sound coming from our breathing. There's an unfamiliar churning in my stomach, almost like...butterflies? No way, I hate her. And besides that, she's my best friend's girlfriend. I'm not supposed to have these kinds of feelings towards her.

I force my eyes away from her lips, to her ocean coloured ones. I look up at her with hooded eyes, feeling annoyed by her irritatingly attractive presence. I hate her. I hate her. I hate her.

"God, you're the most irritating person I know. I hate you, you know that?!" I say, not being able to stop these intense feelings that have suddenly risen up inside of me. I barely have to raise my voice, because we're only inches apart.

Her tongue brushes against her bottom lip, followed by her teeth grazing over it while she simultaneously rolls her eyes and places both hands on her hips. Her eyes fall back on me and she chuckes. "I feel the same way sweetheart."

I take a small step closer to her, our bodies now touching. I straighten my back, trying to reach to her height and smile sarcastically, "Good." She takes me by surprise when she grabs me by the shoulders, switching our places so that I'm by the door. She lightly pushes me against it and places her hands on the door beside my head, trapping me.

"Admit it." She says, her teeth clenched in anger. I notice the definition in her jaw and it momentarily throws me off.

"Admit what?" I reply, mimicking her tone.

"That you're in love with Nora." Abby says, her teeth still clenched.

I scoff in frustration, not understanding why she's so obsessed with the idea that I'm in love with her girlfriend. "For the last fucking time, I am not in love with Nora." I groan, resting my head back on the door. Her expression changes to surprise for only a second before it returns back to the anger. The only way I notice this is because she's so damn close to me.

"I don't believe you." She replies, shaking her head. I try to shove her backwards but fail miserably, her strong figure keeping her in place.

"I don't know what else you want me to say or do to make you believe me. Okay?" I say, my voice raising slightly. I clench and unclench my hands on my sides, the desperation to prove her wrong rising in my chest. I'm frantically racking my brain on how I can get her to believe me, wanting this endless misunderstanding to just be over with. It only takes a couple of breaths before I settle on a solution, but I don't wait to rationalize whether it's a good one. 

"There's nothing you ca-" I leap foward, cutting her off mid-sentense as I crash my lips onto hers. I pull back immediately and look at her face for a reaction. There's a mixture of confusion and something else I can't quite put my finger own. Her pupils are blown wide, her lips slightly open as if she's trying to decide on what to say next.

There's a few moments of silence between us until she finally asks, "What was that?"

I shrug, suddenly feeling very small compared to her. "I don't kno-" I'm about to say, but this time, she cuts me off by crashing her lips onto mine. She presses her body foward so that I'm flush against the door and I involuntarily let out a soft moan. My hands instinctively wrap around her neck, bringing her even closer to me.

Abby pulls back ever so slightly so that we're not kissing anymore but our lips still touch when she shakes her head and says, "We shouldn't." I nod in agreement, although I don't move away and neither does she.

Our lips connect again and the feeling between my legs that I'd been trying to ignore is becoming stronger. I pull my legs shut to try and relieve the ache. Abby immediately notices because her knee slips between my legs, forcing them back open as another moan escapes my lips.

"Abby, we have to stop. " I say breathlessly as I pull back from her mouth. 

"Don't." She declares firmly.

"Don't what?" I ask, uncertain of her comment.

"Don't say my name like that because I won't be able to stop." She mutters under her breath but I hear her perfectly. Her confession hits me hard in the chest and...elsewhere too. It makes me want to say her name again and again.

"Abby." I moan and I feel her stiffen. She moves her lips down to my jaw and then my neck, sucking my sweet spot. I tilt my head to the side, giving her further access. My hands move up her neck to grip her hair, and this time, she's the one moaning.

Her hands grip the hem of my oversized tee, pulling it over my head. Her mouth goes straight to my naked breast, sucking hard on my left nipple whilst her fingers play with the other. I grind up against her, wanting to feel more of her. My hands slip down to her trousers, unbuttoning them one button at a time and pulling them down to her knees. I move forward and she lets me walk her backwards to the bed. She sits on the mattress, laying her back onto it while her lips are still attached to my body. I straddle her right thigh whilst her legs are wide open and I take this chance to slice my hand under her panties, touching her slick heat. It's the most arousing thing I've ever experienced and my only mission is to make her feel good. My fingers slide up and down her pussy as she gasps for air. I begin to circle my fingers around her clit, and I know I've hit the right spot when she buckles her hips towards them.

I don't realise I've been grinding against her thigh until I feel the pool of wetness underneath me. I grind harder against her but it's not enough. With my free hand, I slip my panties to the side so that my heat is flush against her skin. I bite my lip hard to stop myself from making any sounds, although it proves to be very difficult the closer to my release I get.

I slip a finger inside Abby's cunt, absolutely loving the way she feels wrapped around it. She starts letting a loud moan out, so I clasp my other hand around her mouth to stop her. I lean down and replace my hand with my mouth just as I slip a second finger in. I pump in and out of her as I feel her walls contract. I place my thumb on her clit, throwing her over the edge of her climax. Her supressed moans and the feeling of my drenched fingers inside of her, makes me grind more aggresively against her exposed thigh. It doesn't take long before I'm cumming as well, fireworks travelling from my mound to my whole body.

I kiss her furiously to keep both of our moans down, my eyes clasped shut in ecstasy. We stay in the same position for a while, our heavy breaths the only sound in the room. I slide my body off of her, lying next to her on the bed. I rest my arm over my eyes and try to steady my breathing. Neither of us say anything at all, knowing that our bodies have done all the talking already.