#brain blast im a fucking genius

[madefate]

stolas. ALL IMPS are queens !

andrealphus. if he BREATHES he's a THOT

[fuzzyhairedfreak]

Just went on. Such an emotional journey. Oh my god. You ever experience the epic highs and lows of remembering something you’ve been trying to remember for years just to be foiled by multistep logins for websites.

[book--wyrm]

Pengu Finale Liveblog ahhhhhh

Julian just absolutely brain blasting this old woman

Oh Rex is close enough to call her doll and make her breakfast he is not beating the deadbeat daddy allegation

OH NO DOES SHE KNOW OH MY GOD SHE KNOWS

NEVERMIND I WAS SO WRONG ABOUT EVERYTHING SHE HAS KNOWN ALL ALONG

holy shit holy shit holy shit

okay so they did find the bodies eventually holy fuck hooooooly fuck

oh my god rex literally teaching francis how to manipulate oz and use him oh my god ohhhhh my god this is so much more of a betrayal than if francis had just hated him for what he'd done

she knew all along she knew all along and she used him and she

she

oz was right ahahahahah every relationship in his life is fuckign transactional because he KILLED THE ONLY TWO BOYS WHO TRULY LOVED HIM, AND KILLED HIS MOTHER'S LOVE WITH THEM

dude he has to kill his mother now

this is a psychological nuke the likes of which i think sofia could not possibly have ever imagined.

Francis's FACE oh my god.

Julian baby boy maybe Sofia should stand out of sight to not break immersion

God this is absolutely not how hypnotism works is it

IT'LL BE EASIER NOW YOU LITTLE PSYCHO

"I see you in ways other people don't" while she is ACTIVELY USING HIM

dude. dude. I just. It's always the same with Oz, isn't it. Sofia, Eve, his mom. He's the biggest bullshitter in Gotham, and he's so full of it he doesn't have a clue how to sniff it out

God they are both so horrific to each other. Just his horrible cycle of selfishness and toxicity what a twisted family they are

HELLO VIC I MISSED YOU

Oh rip lmao I guess the gangs know the bliss is all gone

Vic baby he's saying all the same stuff oz does, only he believes it, so he can't bullshit people to his side

Oh hey that dude on the other side of the walkie talkie lived!!

Man Oz and Sofia haven't been face to face since ep 4 hahahaha

BERTO MENTION. she hasn't used that name in a hot second

Oh my god Sofia literally using that bird nest metaphor ahahahh whoever that anon was in my inbox you are a genius

Man. Sofia literally just laying out all their horrible family drama in the worlds worst family therapy oh my god

Dude I've been saying for weeks now that Sofia's superpower is to completely shatter people with the truth and. ohhhhhh my god ohhhhhh my god ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Wait. Is Sofia going to give that cigar cutter in her cleavage to Francis to use on Oz. I think she should give it to her.

Uh. Nevermind

Wow Sofia really is leaning into this evil therapy thing what the fuck. girl.

God i desperately want her to be the girl-jonkler running the aslume at the end of this show please please please

Also Sofia, I think it was the left. I mean I'm sure she knows just so she can do the other one next, but. man. she is fuckin sadistic. im love....

Julian so enthusiastic about all of this hahaahah

I love Sofia like, almost framing this to them or possibly herself as a gift she is giving to Francis. Is this cope? Is this something she sincerely believes? Or is she just being cruel?

I ALREADY FUCKIN KNOW

It's my finger you spineless prick hahahaahha but that doesn't matter to him because its your love he wants it's your adoration your pride and what actually happens to you? Doesn't fucking matter.

I NEVER STOPPED HATING YOU

Sofia's face right then like. damn dude. god i love her

She had enough love for all of them and he soured every last drop of it. For them, for him, for the world.

Sofia really does know the value of just letting a drama play out.

Francis saying Sofia is right this ep, Sofia saying Francis was right last ep, damn.

Oz really is... the only character in this show chronically incapable of learning

Damn mama cobb strong enough to smash a bottle. I don't think even i could do that.

Oh my god no wonder she said "they look at me like i'm not even theirs" because in her mind, she let their murderer go free

also is oz gonna hulk out that she's showing love to an imaginary jack and benny when oz has just seen her hate?

Oh is she just dying right now

Julian doing the get down mr president

MR DETECTIVE YOU DIPSHIT

Sofia baby you did great okay you already hurt Oz please just go to italy with your boy toy

Wow is he not getting this fucking stab looked at

EW EW EW EW

Yeah sure sure. Sofia stabbed you. Sure. Sure.

Oh noooo. Vic... baby.... he is such a believer in Oz's stupid self serving bullshit. He is so good. And pure. And he speaks from the heart and. And Oz acts like this is something Vic rehearsed

And they laugh about it but Vic doesn't understand. He doesn't understand that Oz isn't giving him advice on how to most effectively show people the fire you hold in your heart—he's teaching him the art of smoke and mirrors. how to con and grift and bullshit until even you don't know what's true and real

Christ. Vic is so fucking dead

She'd never look at me again unless i get this done.

Oz knowing now that this love is transactional. And fine. He'll make that transaction, he'll take down sofia and then maybe his mom will pretend again that she doesn't hate him, doesn't want him dead

it's not going to work, of course. it can't because this show is about him becoming the penguin. and it can't, because even that transaction was always a lie Francis told herself

I don't think she could ever have loved Oz even if he'd gotten her into a penthouse at age 20. I think she lied to herself to survive living with him, because what was the alternative? Losing all three of her boys?

AHAHAHAHAHAH SOFIA LITERALLY PICKING UP OZ'S GOLD SUMMIT MEMBERS i have to say. I did not anticipate this at ALL

damn girlie really is just gonna dip to go to italy or wherever

sofia really is just setting up the funniest game of capture the flag imaginable while cramming like seven olives in her mouth

i dont' say this often. i desire her carnally.

The gun in the glove compartment surely that will not come back later

Oz originally checking his image in the reflection of the car vs asking Vic now, treating this kid as his reflection

Damn. Is Link really going to fall for Oz's shit again after that truck of cigs thing? Or is this just a ploy to get Oz into the right place for Sofia to pick him up?

Actually maybe that's what loses Vic, that Link betrayed him, and Oz expected it. Idk we shall see

Penguin planning to run for mayor in a couple movies?

Oh Oz is totally gonna send sofia to arkham ahahaha poor baby

Oh my god I thought Sofia was gonna claim credit for Sal's death, not that Oz would give it up himself

I cannot tell you guys how fucking tempting it is to skip right to the end of this episode to see if i'm right you guys

Wow Oz really eyeing that Mayor's office

Is he going to kill Bella and frame Sofia. Is he gonna kill bella and THAT is what turns Vic on him.

oh my god LINK

HAHAHAH I WAS SO RIGHT SHE IS BURNING DOWN FALCONE MANOR

oh god that's the watch Sofia gave him for his birthday FUCK YOU CARMINE

Sofia really is gonna fucking screw over EVERYONE hahaha THREE CIGS BABY

oh god she is so hot i love her you self actualize through arson baybeeeeeeee

that shot of her throwing the cig like a dart is so much oh my god

babygirl i love you

you deserve the world

but yeah she is going into the cold according to the needle drop. definitely going back to arkham

... what's in the trunk. i don't think it's normal luggage. is it more bombs

there is still 20 mins left. i am afraid

This is clearly a trap for someone i just don't know who. Where is vic

I'm so afraid this is the last we get to see of Sofia.

She knows. She always has such a nose for bullshit lmao. Also fuck you Link you gotta know Oz is gonna stab you in the back.

I do think it's promising that Julian has not been seen all day tho. What is he doing.

I love this. I love that Oz and Sofia finally get this one moment to be truly honest with each other.

Well. At the very least, Oz gets to be honest with Sofia. idk that he knows how to be honest with himself anymore.

Why does this look like a chemical factory. I know it's not happening but it'd be so funny for Sofia to become the joker right now.

just dunk her in the goop

Man. Is he actually going to shoot her. Police pls come and save my girl. Cannot believe that's what I'm begging for now.

oh my god

yeah i called it but. Man. This is so painful to watch. also i think my julian prayers are not going to be answered it did not look like Sofia had planned any of this

okay i'm normal about sofia being arrested now.

Okay. I'm normal.

I'm back to not being normal francis and vic and oz all in one place this is all gonna blow up emotionally

Is francis in a coma. is she totally brain dead oh my god.

oh man she really is never going to say she loves him hahaha

she let jack and benny's murderer go and it never got her anything

is he gonna kill her now.

TELL ME YOU'RE PROUD OF ME oz you fuckin

he's so fucking delusional jesus putting her hand on his head

dude. is Vic actually gonna live through this episode

holy fuck

did not call that in the least

well. i was right about the pyrrhic victory for Oz

"All kinds of things" shut the fuck up.

God. I cannot believe Vic is living through this show. Admittedly as the kind of guy that his parents would have been ashamed of, but.

Wait. No no

don't

don't do it

no nondfonfodnfodnfodfn

please dont

pelase dont

oz don't you dare

nONONNNONONONONONONONONONONONO

PLEASE DOJNT DO IT NOW PLEAE

NO NO HE IS THEO NLY ONE WHO HAS SEEN THE WEAKNESS AND HUMAN IN YOU

OZ YOU

OZ

NO

WITH YOUR HANDS???? WITH YOUR FUCKIGN HANDS???? I THOUGHT HE WOUDL PULL A GUN AT LEAST YOU FUCKING

ODSOFANDFONSODNOSDAGNOGNIOAGDSASGJDISGNAGLNFGOSANFOSDO

SANO

NON NO NONONONO

VIC

vic. vic. vic barely lived a month longer than his family

all that good heart and he just. enabled a monster to rise to power. to make gotham worse

HE'S MUGGING HIM

YOU PIECE OF SHIT YOU PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT YOU BASTARD YOU

i

i

and the water takes him too.

JULIAN

oH MY GOD I WAS RIGHT AHHAAHHAHAHA

JULIAN

I WAS RIGHT ABOUT SOFIA GETTING MARRIAGE PROPOSALS HAHAHAHAHAH

SELINA KYLE???????? HELLO??????????????

bro.... oh my god..... this is....

I'm so happy.........

sofia smiling... sofia finding a new family member....

nvm i am so glad my original theories were wrong this is way better than anything i could have hoped for

oh my god

ohhhhh my god he actually is keeping his mom in a vegetative state.... exactly what she begged him not to do.......

she knows.... she knows... some part of her is aware in there ahahahahah

you should have let Rex kill him all those years ago

oh my god EVE???? EVE GIRL GET OUT BEFORE HE KILLS YOU TOO

oh no please tell me he never learned what happened with sofia and eve

hes literally just calling her ma. fuck me. mayeb that means eve is safe for now

NOT THE BATSIGNAL

[voidsickness]

heyy can we hear more about the hlvrai portal au?

well so mostly it was an excuse to design glados!tommy and get really silly with quote redraws but in my brain it has an actual plot. the idea i had was mostly like .. . yknow how glados in the original game is like 'ooh your parents hate you they left you oooh' . that but in this it's tommy going 'wooow youre SUCH a bad dad.. wow u dont even know where your son is...' and gordon rolling his eyes because joshua is the name of like, idk. like a toy he had or something. like in this au joshua is not real, sorry. i half wanted to make him a real son because like. i love joshua. but like, i feel like it'd be cruel to make him real and then put his dad in a pseudo torture labyrinth where a big sexy robot dude flirts with him while hes like. dying out there. so he's like, a stuffed cowboy with a broken pullstring that exists on the surface somewhere. ALSO gordon is selectively mute. hes not completely mute he just prefers not to speak if he can help it. he has a very healthy and strong internal monologue though, one he often forgets everyone cant hear and he will wait for others to respond to what he said to them inside his own head. and then like. wheatley as bubby was a stroke of genius on my part i believe because they're both cowardly little idiots. ( said affectionately for bubby and derogatorily for wheatley ) i think bubby would totally let the power go to his head literally immediately much the same way wheatley did and it just.. oooh baby it fits. i never drew it out but i always imagined that coomer plays the part of like, every single core. and they all share consciousness and shit bc i think that's swag and makes the final boss really interesting because im a fruit and i think it would be cool if bubby, instead of being 'corrupted' is like.. comforted by having coomer around. do you see the vision. and when they get blasted to space they get to be gay little balls in space for forever. its perfect, ok? dont worry about it. also benrey is rattman. i think that would be so cool. i dont have like, a deep meaning for this i just think it'd be really cool and rattman benrey would have a cool design. also forzen is atlas and darnold is p body!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is so important do NOT separate them!!!!!!!!! they are best fucking FRIENDS!!!! g-man is g-man. but also cave johnson? he's tommy's dad you know how it is. mmmm. didnt mean to write that much. if you have any more questions i will answer them all i love this au so much.

[streamafterlaughter]

the brain blast i just had for the next chapter of FD im a fucking. genius braniac smarty pants

[atherix0]

im finally reading the update because its lunch time and i have much to scream about and I will in fact be doing the screaming because AH

Starting this off with Scar and Mumbo being CUTE - please understand i am reading this in public and it is taking every fiber of my being now to squee and yell at everything going on oh my god? Mumbo's collection of Fae books? Mumbo and Scar vibing together at Night because Grian is asleep? AH

Also Tubbo being the bee that near [across from?] Mumbo's glyph is so cute just AH and the fact that mumbo, looking at the glyphs, is like "You know that pin ive been carrying around with me I should put it closer to my person somehow yes"

AND THEN CLEO MY BELOVED APPEARS ahhhhh love them. I mean hate the *news* they have oh my god but i love them. Also I am gonna fist fight the council in your story for everyone oh my GOD - this has the vibes of like, in mafia stories when they accidentally leave a paper trail and its like "ASDFGHJKHGFD YOU IDIOTS WHAT ARE YOU DOING"

Oh my god and Mumbo and Grian really chose the WORST time for to discuss Scar yall he's LEAVING I need you to STOP HIM or maybe o with him I havent decided which one's a better idea tbh though given that whole 'grians not a watcher yet' and 'a coven is only as strong as their leader *says the man who is threatening when he's laying on the ground, injured*" I think they'll be fine. Ya know. 👀👀between the Fae and the whole Diety Waiting To Be Awakened thing

GIVE HIM THE ENGAGEMENT GIFT. GIVE IT TO SCAR. G I V E I KNOW YOU GUYS WANNA WAIT FOR A GOOD TIME BUT THERE'S NEVER GONNA BE A GOOD TIME AT THIS RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE GIVE IT TO HIM BEFORE SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAPPENS THAAAAAANKS

Also grian calling Mumbo out about the bite scar? I have been WAITING oh my god Mumbo how the hell did you think no one noticed.

Ahhhh the mirroring happening in the market rn? Incredible. Its the same but its so different. AND SCAR IS SO SMART AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH also Mumbo Time Mumbo Time Mumbo Time Mumbo Ti-

OH MY GOD SCAR IS A FUCKING GENIUS I love this man. He is hot. Grian's right, and I'm a damn lesbian. Reading him taking on an entire coven by himslef is incredible??? Also the fact that Mumbo is just sat there *waiting* sir you are literally protecting your mate 'wait till a better time' my ASS.

OH BOY BOY BOY LETS GO mmm I love when Mumbo gets to fight frankly its great mm mm mm OHOHO grian. That touch of past there? I have a feeling im gonna need to throttle you whenever we get to THAT lmao. But also LOOK AT HIM ACTUALLY FIGHTING HAAAAAAAAAA

YES SOMEONE IS GETTING PULLED INTO THE BOATEM HOLE I HAVE BEEN *WAITING* its just such a good use of the boatem hole frankly FALL INTO THE VOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOID. I havent even watched season 8. I do appreciate Grian's Gay Thoughts whenever Mumbo is fighting 10/10

im sorry grian WHAT are you remembering EXCUSE ME listen here if pearl is dead you are going to be getting some WORDS

Oh my god using the glyph is genius but also if i was scar i would ALSO be like "GRIAN WHAT ARE YOU DOOOOOOOOOING" also just like, obsessed with this vampire lesson occurring mid battle as Grian is just like "I'm gonna get the lord to blast this way and hope mumbo can get us out of the way" which i mean it WORKED but JESUS

OH BOY OH BOY OHO BOY GRIAN WHATCHA DOING THERE CHAMP

Scar now is not the time to ask what they're doing i swear. theres a lord DYING

The three of them having this conversation in a barrier bubble thing in an alleyway really is something. ALSO. MUMBO. MUMBO YOU ABSOLUTE IDIOT. *MUMBO*. "Wait when did boatem get a coven" BABE YOURE THE ONLY VAMPIRE. PLEASE. WITH YOUR BRAIN.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ITS GETTING SO CLOSE I NEED THEM TO KISS I KNOW WHY THEY HAVENT BUT AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

and now i go back to writing my novel as if I didn't just treat myself for writing i havent even done yet lmao

hjfgsdjkghjfdgjkfd I hope you had a good day <3

JKFHSJKHFSJK I love them <3 When Grian is asleep who else to keep a Vampire company but the Elf who only sleeps like every five days <3 gfdjkgjkfdlf

Yess it's on the other side of Scar's wrist from Mumbo's rose <3 hjgkfk HAHA YEAH I'M SURE THAT'S NOT GONNA BE CONVENIENT SOON <3

CLEO <3 Cleo is beloved and I will fight for them, as soon as they found out just how much the Purists know they ran immediately to inform Scar <3 They care about that half-Elf <3 The Council is largely made of self-important dumbtrucks </3 There is a reason Mumbo has very little respect for them jfgdslfdsjh and they may or may not get told off BIG TIME for this <3

LMAO YEAH IKR Grian over here like "oh wow okay so this sounds like Scar's saying goodbye and tomorrow will be the last time I see him??" and then finally talking to Mumbo jhfsdjkghjds JHKFHSJKFHSKJLJDK ahahaha <3 Oh indeed :))

He thought he got off scotch free BUT NO MUMBO GRIAN SAW THAT HE KNOWS lmao <3 Scar might be oblivious but Grian can read you like an open book <3

YASSSSSS I fucking LOVE mirroring in fics <3 callbacks and bookends and just HJHJFHJS I'm feral for it fr Scar was like "yeah I know they know who I am I know how this is probably ending and this time I take no prisoners" and HJFSJKHGFVJKS all the traps <3 A little unhinge for the Elf man, a little reminder that this man is not fully Human pls <3 jkgfdklhjfkdlk ikr like-

I LOVE mumbo getting to fight <3 hehehehe crumbs of Grian history? Crumbs of Grian history <3 YAASSSSSSS them all showing off their fighting skills <3

YASSSSS from the moment I introduced the Boatem Hole to the fic I've been waiting to toss someone in <3 I loved season 8 so much Boatem my beloved <3 Grian has gay thoughts all the time but the moment Mumbo's claws come out and he gets to fighting they triple <3

:)))

Scar be like BIRDIE WHAT THE FU- Ahaha it was such a risky plan but he trusted Mumbo and Scar both so much <3 They were quick but stupid but see them dodge THIS when they have no helpful magic <3

HEHEHEE :)))

LMAO they're all full of bad timing <3

Grian agrees, how strange <3 they make quite a sight lmao LMAO YEAH THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT GRIAN AND SCAR WERE THINKING Mumbo never even considered for one second that he has a Coven now and you can bet he's not gonna stop thinking about it now because it answers so many question lmao <3

I PROMISE YOU WILL BE SATISFIED SOON <3 NOT SOON ENOUGH BUT <3

hahaha well now there's another fic to treat yourself with so <3

[kaylorrehabcenter]

Rating Every Song on Fearless Based on How Gay it is

Hello friends! I still have a few song analyses in the pipeline (and one on Lover the album) but today in honor of Fearless (Taylor’s Edition) being announced and Love Story being released in a few hours I thought I’d do something fun to celebrate!

And you know what? Fuck my usual disclaimer, I am the word of god here. Try and change my mind about any of these. I dare you. (I kid I kid this isn’t that serious and you’re free to disagree <3)

1. Fearless 15/10

Everything about this song is so fucking gay oh my god. This isn’t a fruit, this is a whole ass edible arrangement. As a small rural town Gay (my hometown has a population of less that 4,000 and where I’m living now has a population of 2,500) this uh. Hits.

“And I don't know how it gets better than this/You take my hand and drag me head first, fearless”

Y’ALL

The idea of falling in love with someone who makes you less afraid of your homophobic small town…….it’s getting to me.

“My hands shake, I'm not usually this way but/You pull me in and I'm a little more brave/It's the first kiss, it's flawless, really something/It's fearless”

This is making me emotional, I'll be honest. I see so much of my friends and my experience in high school in this song. 

This quote I found on genius is from when the album was released on BMR’s website.

“When I wrote ‘Fearless,’ I wasn’t dating anyone. I wasn’t even in the beginning stages of dating anybody. I really was all by myself out on tour and I got this idea for a song about the best first date. I think sometimes when you’re writing love songs, you don’t write them about what you’re going through at the moment, you write about what you wish you had. So, this song is about the best first date I haven’t had yet.”

This just screams baby Tay writing gay folklore to me, about the gay stories she wish she had. Notice how there are no pronouns in this song??? Fruity I’m telling you.

All that to say. I’m crying because the linear note says “I loved you before I met you” and I want to go listen to Long Story Short and cry now.

2. Fifteen 1/10

Objectively pretty straight as she’s singing about her and Abigail’s dating boys in HS. And Taylor got with a senior guy. Good for her I suppose.

Unless he was one of the shitty ones in which case.

“This is life before you know who you're gonna be”

This however, is a cute line and the whole song makes me warm and nostalgic. You can also hear her crying after the line “and Abigail gave everything she had to a boy who changed his mind” which makes me emo and I’m sure will take on new depth after Abigail’s divorce and hurt me even more.

Other highlights that make me sob include.

“When all you wanted was to be wanted/Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now/Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday/But I realized some bigger dreams of mine”

Bigger dreams of hers indeed :’)

(Also how can you say she’s a gold star lesbian when this song exists. She was obviously dating boys in high school and even if you think she’s a lesbian. Comp het is a hell of a drug kids.)

3. Love Story 8/10

Tried to change the ending indeed.

This is THE Taylor Swift song, and maybe it’s the nostalgia talking but damn I still love it. Written because she wanted to change the ending of Romeo and Juliet (how anyone likes RandJ enough to want to rewrite I have no clue.) and/or because her parents didn’t approve of a guy she was seeing. (according to genius, it would’ve been too early for Joe J so it could possibly be Boys Like Girls frontman, his image did clash with hers and they did release some cute songs together. However if you want my take it’s probably folklore about Emily, take for what you will)

This song has very oft gay vibes with the ‘They don’t approve of our love angle!’ but uses male pronouns so points redacted for that. HOWEVER this is a very early use of ~the male perspective~ in Taylor’s songs and for that it deserves all the love.

“ So I sneak out to the garden to see you/We keep quiet, 'cause we're dead if they knew/So close your eyes/Escape this town for a little while”

More rural town angst!!!

Nothing gets me more than rural town angst.

“Romeo, save me, they're trying to tell me how to feel/This love is difficult, but it's real”

Originally the lyric was “this love is different”. Granted I do not remember the source, i’s just lore implanted into my brain, but make of that what you will.

“"Marry me, Juliet, you'll never have to be alone/I love you, and that's all I really know/I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress/It's a love story, baby, just say "Yes"”

Marry me Juliet from the male perspective :)

Also worth noting. This is Karlie’s (and Kim K’s lmao) favorite Taylor song which. While basic as hell. Makes this cover sad as hell to this former Kaylor. (thanks @swiftgron-get-married for the tears <3)

Also not to make this about a man AGAIN but the secret message is “Some day I’ll find this” AND SHE DID IM CRYING.

4. Hey Stephen 1/10

The one thing Camilla Cabello and I have in common is loving this song, so I have to live with that for the rest of my life.

This song is very painfully straight.

How can you think this woman is a gold star lesbian.

The only noteworthy thing is that this is one of the few songs she confirms who it’s about. The secret message is “Love and Theft” which is the name of a country music duo who went on to open her Fearless tour. Which, does make me side eye this song a little bit.

Still a cute song.

“Hey Stephen, boy, you might have me believing/I don't always have to be alone”

5. White Horse 1/10

Oh look. It’s track five. 

You know maybe this is just me being a bitch but in my ranking of track fives this is. Pretty low. Maybe on the bottom.

Like I don’t have a lot to say about it. 

She’s going through it over a guy. He was a cheating dickweazel. 

“'Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale/I'm gonna find someone someday/Who might actually treat me well”

“Try and catch me now, oh/It's too late/To catch me now”

These lines hit though!!

And she found Joe!! Who treats her well!!!! And she isn’t the princess, she’s the prince who dropped her sword and knocked on her door!!! But this time if they come for them she’s ready!!!

Yes I will make every song about Long Story Short <3

6. You Belong With Me 5/10

Ah yes. The other THE Taylor Swift song.

You know. If I went to a high school with a cheerleading squad. And I had a crush on a cheerleader. I would blast this song. So for that it gets a 5/10. Otherwise. Fairly straight and fairly iconic.

7. Breathe 8/10

Well. We know this one is about a woman. (Emily Poe for those not in the know. Ha. A rhyme!) That alone has an 8/10. And it’s the first time she has a featured artist so bonus points for that!

It was nominated for a Grammy and it fucking lost to Jason Mraz. When’s the last time you thought about Jason Mraz.

I will not have Kaylor feels on a fucking Fearless song but damn is it VERY easy.

“Never a clean break, no one here to save me/You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand”

“It's 2 A.M, feeling like I just lost a friend/Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me”

Also this bridge? Goes off. HIGHLY underrated. 

8. Tell Me Why 3/10

You know. Maybe this album isn’t as gay as I once thought.

This song does bop though, not as good as her other angry songs on this album. But I can vibe with this you know. Why are you being an asshole mysterious man.

“You could write a book on how to ruin someone's perfect day”

This has to be one of baby Tay’s best burns. Damn. 

“Why do you have to make me feel small/So you can feel whole inside?/Why do you have to put down my dreams/So you're the only thing on my mind?”

Men ain’t shit kids. However, bonus points for the shade. 

9. You’re not Sorry 1/10

Ok, ok. Maybe this was a foolish endeavor.

Because yet again we have a very straight song. A good song. That was on Taylor’s episode of CSI. But oh dear. Very straight. Gets a measly one point. We started this post off so very very gay but damn. We seem to be nearing the end on a very straight note.

10. The Way I Loved You 20/10

Hey Remember what I said about this album being very straight.

WELL THAT WAS A LIE.

Is this a comphet album or am I projecting.

This is one of my favorite baby gay Taylor songs. Her masterful use of pronouns (he is sensible! And so incredible! And all my single friends are jealous! But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain, when it was two am and I was cursing your name!) makes the other person she’s singing about completely vague, while we know she isn’t happy with whichever guy she’s dating.

Mayhaps an early reaction to PRomances?

Either way this song is so good, truly an underrated gay gem I mean. Look at it.

“Breaking down and coming undone/It's a roller coaster kind of rush/And I never knew I could feel that much/And that's the way I loved you”

AND THE BRIDGE. Do all of her gay songs just have kickass bridges?

“He can't see the smile I'm faking/And my heart's not breaking/'Cause I'm not feeling anything at all/And you were wild and crazy/Just so frustrating/Intoxicating, complicated/Got away by some mistake and now…”

Damn. I’m imaging this with 2020 vocals and fucking ascending.

Also please watch the live performance of it from the Fearless tour. It’s such a damn shame this got cut from the movie and some woman in the front row is wearing a cowboy hat. Everyone is holding up those cameras everyone had to have before smartphones. Taylor is being endearing. It’s a good time.

11. Forever and Always 6/10

Bonus points for the ~drama~ of it all. Added last minute to the album? The iconic throwing of the chair in live performances?? All of it very dramatique and for that we stan.

Still pretty straight.

Also Joe Jonas responded to the song and why do I find his response so damn funny. “It’s part of being a musician, I guess. You write songs about each other.”

This is another song where the idea of Taylor’s grown up vocals on this is………..whew

12. The Best Day 0/10

This gets zero points because it’s about her literal mom.

Still makes me cry.

God bless Andrea Swift indeed

13. Change 13/10

We start the official tracklist with a gay song. We end it with a gay song.

We will ignore that it was originally written for Scott and BMR and instead induct it into the hall of gay pride anthems, as it should be. 

“We're getting stronger now, finding things they never found/They might be bigger but we're faster and never scared/You can walk away, say we don't need this/But there's something in your eyes says we can beat this”

“This revolution, the time will come/For us to finally win/And we'll sing hallelujah, we'll sing hallelujah”

The music video is cringe though lol

14. Jump then Fall 10/10

This song is gay because I choose it to be. <3

Like. Picture baby Taylor writing this song and playing it on her guitar to a girl she has a crush on telling her that she’ll protect her and they’ll be safe and in love and happy together. Gah, maybe I’m ~projecting~ but this sweet ass song always gets me and is EASILY in my top five Taylor songs. Super underrated and hecking cute. 

“We're on the phone and without a warning/I realize your laugh is the best sound/I have ever heard”

Like. Look at this shit.

“I watch you talk, you didn't notice/I hear the words but all I can think is/We should be together”

Tell me this is about the first time you get a crush on a girl and she’s your best friend and she’s amazing and beautiful and you realize you kinda want to kiss her and you hope she wants to kiss you too.

“I had time to think it oh, over/And all I can say is come closer/Take a deep breath and jump then fall into me”

And she’s the Romeo who's going to protect her!!!!! She’s the knight in shining armor in this song and I love that for her??

“The bottom's gonna drop out from under our feet/I'll catch you, I'll catch you/When people say things that bring you to your knees/I'll catch you/The time is gonna come when you're so mad you could cry/But I'll hold you through the night until you smile”

I won’t divulge into full on analysis here because. This is what this post is about but PLEASE listen to this song more. It’s such a gay little gem.

15. Untouchable 9/10

How does she make a cover sound gay.

It sounds so gay.

“You got to come on, come on, say that we'll be together/Come on, come on, little taste of heaven”

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

16. Forever and Always Piano Version 1/10

This song gets 1/10 because I don’t like it. There. I said it.

17. Come in With the Rain 3/10

I can see why this is a bonus track. It doesn’t hit me as much as the other songs on the album.

But damn if I don’t want to scream sing this one driving down a high way.

18. Superstar 7/10

You can’t tell me this song is about a man. I simply won’t entertain the idea.

You cannot prove to me that this song is about a man. There is not a male pronoun in sight. 

>:)

19. The Other Side of the Door 6/10

Is this song about having a fight about being in the closet? Probably not. Will my gay little brain make it about that? Yep!

And that, funky little queer pals, is my gay rating of every Fearless song. Like and subscribe, #t3atmidnight

[tigerdrop]

I just had a motherfucking brain blast. I was sitting here like “damn I wish t-dicks (ya know the dick ya get from testosterone if ur trans. Dunno what else to call it.) could be used for penetration” and then I was like WAIT what if the person with the t-dick gets big or the person getting penetrated gets small... it would probably work. I am a fucking genius. Thot u would wanna be aware of this idea. - throwawayaccount187

this ask cursed me i spent an embarrassingly long time trying to work out the size logistics. i even made diagrams. this got long and weird and embarrassing just dont look under here

like. ok. look. ordinarily they are like

but what if instead.......benrey huges himself enough to be like

i think this would be idea probably. (i even drew in the dick on a separate layer just to compare. i think this works. even though i really do be giving this dude the biggest meat even in transed form)

do you think gordons even considered that this idea was possible?? absolutely the fuck not. my dude is heteronormative as all hell and probably assumes that hes gonna be the one topping all the time......until maybe theyre wrestling and horsing around and benrey gets him pinned on his stomach and starts laughing in his ear with his hips pressed alllll the way up against gordons ass and that gets him thinking, like, Huh.......Oh No.....i kinda want him to fuck me like this. and, you know, if youre a normal human who is used to dating other normal humans, you start thinking about things like strap-ons and not your eldritch gamer bf enthusiastically agreeing to this idea and deciding to grow to twice his size to fuck you in the ass himself Just Because He Can

just being pinned down and crushed to the ground by him at that size and feeling totally overwhelmed b/c its all benrey, inside and outside him, and the sensation of being fucked like this is so unfamiliar that gordons so noisy despite his best efforts to shut himself up with a hand pressed to his mouth.....and benreys so big that it really does feel like hes getting fucked by a for-real dick (even if the textures a little different......not that he would know. not that gordon freeman has ever thought about what it would be like.)

thinking about gordon being at eyeball height with benreys dick and feeling normal about it......thinking about him at that size........having to try to straddle benreys waist.........gbgdb . GGGG. seeing gordon struggling to fit all of benreys t-dick in his mouth would probably be intensely gender-euphoric too. you know. if you asked me. trans benrey facefuck indulgence but benreys twice his size.......GOD. like. he really could just work his whole arm up in there huh.

i am just saying like if your natural inclination is to finger your eldritch bf while youre sucking his dick, but now hes like twice your size, you just shut up and listen when hes pulling your hair and demanding "cmonnnn gimme more" b/c your fingers just arent doing the trick right now (which is a little emasculating, b/c gordons like over 6 ft tall and has fingers to match and normally he considers this particular application of them to be one of the perks. but i do love emasculating gordon freeman on here)

im just saying. like. imagine the sheer fucking awe on gordons face as he manages to slip his entire forearm inside and benrey just lets out one of the most desperate moans gordons ever heard before. life-changing

and when benreys that big......like.....gordon getting his face fucked is a messy endeavor at the best of times but like jesus christ he would be drenched. like its a natural extension of my personal fascination with micro gordon being covered in cum except its trans benrey rutting into his face and onto his stomach and his thighs and his ass in a not-so-subtle attempt to mark him......gordon thinks benreys just grinding his dick into his stomach b/c hes impatient. no. you fucking idiot

and the weight and pressure of benrey pressing down onto him.....exquisite. enthusiastically sucking dick until hes seeing spots in the corner of his vision and then clapping benreys thigh to get him to let him up for air and gasping and begging like hes having some kind of fuckin divine experience

the juxtaposition of Huge Benrey grabbing gordons head with both hands and rutting furiously into his mouth while begging gordon not to stop, hes gonna come, just mindlessly spouting off......whos the one in control right now? somehow it might not actually be the guy with six feet and a couple hundred pounds on the other one

anyway wow this is a lot and isnt even related to the original ask any more so im going now. Bye

[chaoticdisater]

Red white & royal Blue Favourite quotes

“How many times do I have to tell Y’all not to discuss your murder plots in front of a sitting president” their mother interrupts “Plausible deniability. Come on” (Pg 64) 

I don't know WHO you think you're kidding, you Hufflepuff-ass bitch, (Alex to henry over text pg 69) 

“‘put the turkeys in my room’  ‘No.’ ‘put them in my room, put them in my room, put them in my room -’  later that night as Alex stares into the cold pitiless eyes of a prehistoric beast of prey, he has a few regrets” (Alex and his mother Pg 76) 

“’he- Oi! Not for you Mr.wobbles! those are mine!’ more rustling and a distant offended Meow, ‘no, Mr. wobbles you bastard!’” (Henry at his sister's cat, pg 80) 

“Dec 8, 2019, 8:53 PM  yo there's a bond marathon on and did you know your dad was a total babe HRH prince Dickhead  I BEG YOU TO NOT “ (Henry and Alex over text Pg 84) 

“’ the options Id like...’ he says dragging the words out. ‘they don't quite seem to be options at all’” (Henry Pg 107) 

“’ christ you're a thick as it gets’ he says and he grabs Alex's face in both hands and kisses him.” (Henry Pg 107) 

“‘Seventy-eight percent probability of latent Bi-sexual tendencies. one hundred percent probability this is not a hypothetical question’” (Nora pg 118) 

“‘am I? do you think I'm Bi?’  ‘I can't tell you that Alex!’ she says ‘that's the whole point!’” (Alex and Nora Pg121)

“she slants a look at him ‘is this a diabolical scheme of seduction?’ she asks ‘if so, yes.’“ (Nora Pg 130) 

“Alex knocks the candelabra off the table next to them and pushes henry onto it so hes sitting with his back against - Alex looks up and almost breaks into a deranged laugh - a portrait of alexander hamilton.” (Pg 132) 

“‘im going to die’ henry says helplessly.  ‘im going to kill you,’ Alex tells him.” (Henry and Alex pg 133) 

‘”and if you fucking ghost me again, I'm going to get you put on a fucking no-fly list. got it’” (Alex at henry pg 134) 

“worst of all, Henry is good“ (Alex's thoughts on henry playing Polo Pg 147) 

“’I’m gonna go, Uh’ Alex says ‘say hi to henry’ Amy's mouth settles into a grim line ‘Please don't elaborate’ ‘Yeah I know’ Alex says ‘plausible deniability’” (Alex and Amy Pg 148) 

‘A <agcd@eclare45.com>  to Henry  his royal highness prince of whatever,  Don't make me learn your actual title’ (Alex’s email to henry Pg 152) 

‘Henry <hwales@kensingtonemail.com>  to A Alex, first son of inappropriately timed Emails when I’m in early morning meetings’ (Henry’s email to Alex Pg 155) 

“when he shows up to a briefing two days later Zahra grabs his jaw with one hand and turns his head, peering closer at the side of his neck. ‘is that a Hickey’ Alex freezes. ‘I . . . um, no?’” (Zahra and Alex pg 162) 

“‘Do you have a last name?’ Alex has never actually offered a greeting when calling Henry  ‘What?’ the usual bemused elongated one-syllable response” (163 Alex and henry over the phone) 

“‘Baby’ its become a thing: Baby he knows it’s become a thing. hes slipped up and accidentally said it a few times, and each time, Henry positively melts” (Alex Pg 166) 

“‘I miss you,’ Alex says before he can stop himself he instantly regrets ut but henry says. ‘I miss you too’” (pg 173) 

“she flung her arm out emphatically enough to upset an entire potted cactus on her dresser and says ‘Because until now you weren't fucking the prince of England’” (June pg 177)  

“‘you should try saying some of that stuff to Him’  ‘stop trying to Jane Austen my life’” (June and Alex Pg 180) 

“’ is now a good time to point out henrys very hot Very rich best friend is basically in love with you?’ Alex says to June ‘hes like some kind of billionaire genius manic-pixie-dream philanthropist. I feel like you would be into that.’ ‘Please shut up,’” (Alex and June Pg 182)  

“‘yes, yes, Pez, we know there's nothing you cant do,’ says henrys voice off-camera ‘no need to rub it in’“ (henry Pg 184) 

“‘oh I haven't had vodka since uni,’ henry says ‘it tends to make me erm, well-’ ‘flamboyant?’ Pez offers. ‘uninhibited? randy?’  ‘Fun?’ Bea suggests  ‘Excuses you, I am loads of fun all the time! I am a Delight’“ (Henry Bea and Pez pg 190)

“’yes Beatrice, we shall behave in a manner befitting the crown,’ henry says. his eyes are slightly crossed ‘don't be a tosser’“ (Henry and bea Pg 195) 

“He likes taking henry apart but there's something incredibly intantament about sitting on the bed they wrecked the night before, the only one who watches him create Prince Henry of Wales for the day.” (Pg 200) 

“‘So this is the gang now, huh?’  and through it all, Alex realizes with a start: he has friends now.” (Cash pg 201) 

“How is a man to get anything done knowing Alex Claremont-Diaz is out there on the loose?” (Henrys email to Alex pg 203) 

“yours in sexual frustration  Henry” (henrys email to Alex pg 206) 

“once again, how had he ever convinced himself he was straight,” (Alex pg 213) 

“‘just so we’re clear,’ Alex said ‘Im about to have sex with you in this storage closet to spite your family. Like that's what's happening?’“ (Alex pg 217) 

“your Brave I could use some of that” (Pg 218) 

“Because that's what he would do if he were here in this palace to fall in love Henry” (Pg 220) 

“Zahra doesnt even look up from her phone ‘that was my boyfriend and no, you may not ask me any further questions about him’” (Zahra Pg 223) 

“If he’s some anonymous normal person removed from history he’s twenty-two and he’s tipsy and he’s pulling a guy into his hotel room by the belt loop. He’s pulling a lip between his teeth and he fumbling behind his back to switch on a lamp and he’s thinking I like this person”  (Pg 228)

“You still are. Because you still bloody care so much.” He leans down and presses a kiss into Alex’s hair. “And you are good. Most things are awful most of the time but you’re good” (Henry Pg 230)

“’Seriously?’ She hisses ‘your literally putting your dick in the leader of a foreign state who is a man at the biggest political event before the election in a hotel full of reporters in a city full of cameras in a race close enough to fucking hinge on some bullshit like this like a manifestation of my fucking stress dreams and you’re asking me not to tell the president about it?’” (Zarha pg 233)

“The next slide is titled EXPLORING YOUR SEXUALITY: HEALTHY BUT DOES IT HAVE TO BE WITH THE PRINCE ENGLAND? she apologizes for not having time to come up with better titles Alex activity wishes for the sweet release of death” (Pg 237)

“History huh? I bet we could make some.” (Alex’s email to henry Pg 241)

“The pair of you share and an alarming number of traits by the by: passionate determination, never knowing when to shut up, &c &c,” (herny’s email to Alex Pg 242)

“Regards Haplessly romantic heretic prince henry the utterly daft” (henrys email to Alex pg 243)

“‘It’s math,’ Nora says ‘Math has no authority here,’ June tells her ‘Math is everywhere June’” (Nora and June Pg 247)

“Henry is tipsy and shirtless and attempting to referee” (pg 252)

“’Some times you just jump and hope it’s not a chiff’” (Alex dad Pg 256)

“Well, Alex is so in love he could die.” (Pg 257)

“He’s been falling in love with Henry for years probably since he first saw him in glossy print on the pages of j14 almost definitely since Henry pinned Alex to the floor of a medical supply closet and told him to shut the hell up.” (Pg 257)

“’Fuck off five nine is average’” (Pg 258)

“’H?’ He whispers ‘you awake?’ Henry sighs ‘always.’” ( Pg 260)

“He’s got a distinct feeling of something being pulled out of his hands right before he could grasp it.” (Pg 263)

“something rises in Alex's throat - anger, confusion, hurt, bile. Unforgivably, he feels like he might cry” (Pg 270) 

“’Fuck I swear you don’t make it fucking easy but I’m in love with you’” (Alex Pg 271)

“’I never thought I’d be stood here faced with a choice I can’t make because I never ... I never imagined you would love me back’” (Henry pg 273)

“He’s in Henry’s face now if he’s getting his heart broken tonight he’s sure as hell going to make Henry have the guts to do it right ‘tell me you're done with me. I’ll get back on the plane. that's it. and you can live here in your tower and be miserable forever, write a whole book of sad fucking poems about it, whatever just say it’” (274)

“He’s in stupid unbearable love and Henry loves him too and at least for one night it matters, even if they both have to pretend to forget in the morning” (Pg 275)

“He tells his too fast brain: don’t miss this time he’s too important” (Alexs thoughts Pg 275)

“henry’s hands-on him are unhurried and soft and they make out lazily for hours or days.” (Pg 280) 

“Alex sighs ‘i don't think I told you but she uh. well, when she fired me she told me that if I wasn't a thousand percent serious about you. I need to break things off.’  Henry nuzzles his nose behind Alex's ear ‘a thousand percent?’” (Alex and Henry Pg 282) 

“‘Diaz you insane hopeless romantic little shit’ says the voice of the president of the united states, muffled in the bed ‘it had better be forever. Be safe’“ (Pg 284) 

“hes cut off mid-sentence because Alex has stopped in the middle of the corridor and yanked him backwards into a kiss” (pg 286) 

“’its funny’ henry says ‘i always thought of the whole thing as the most unforgivable thing about me but you act like its one of the best’“ (henry Pg 289) 

“he takes the chain off his neck and slides the ring on next to the old house key. they click together gently as he tucks them both under his shirt, two homes side by side” (Pg 291) 

“I opened my blasted mouth and said ‘because I'm not like the rest of the men in this family beginning with the fact that I'm am very deeply gay Philip’  once shaan managed to dislodge him from the chandelier Philip had quite a few words for me,” (Henry’s emails to Alex Pg 298) 

“just leaving, not coming back. maybe burning something down on the way out. it would be nice.” (henrys emails to Alex pg 299)

“I thought, if someone like that ever loved me, it would set me on fire” (henrys emails to Alex (describing how he felt when he first saw Alex) Pg 300) 

“20. the fact that you have loved me all along.” (alex’s email to henry (the list of things alex loves about henry) Pg 303) 

“‘Oh my god Z what is That? did you get engaged?’  Zahra looks down at the ring and shrugs. ‘i had the week-end off’” (June and Zahra pg 305)

“’you and me and history, remember? were just gonna fucking fight. because your it okay? Im never gonna love anybody in the world like i love you,’“ (Alex pg 312) 

“‘I swear to god if you say I'm too young I'm gonna lose my shit,’“ (Alex pg 315) 

“What did he do ‘be more specific’“ (Alex to Zahra pg 321 ) 

“’the president is sitting down with as many members of the office of communitcs we could drag out of bed at three in the morning’” (Zahra Pg 323) 

“‘pack a bag’ she says ‘we’re going to londan’” (Zahra Pg 334)

“she (Zarha) seems confident Shaan will agree to it and willing to physically overpower him if not.” (pg 334) 

“still the cocky shit head part of him is slightly pleased to finally have claim on henry. Yep, the prince? Most eligible bachelor in the world? British accent face like a greek god, legs for days? Mine” (Pg 336) 

“‘youre giving my ulcer an ulcer’“ (Zahra pg 336) 

“‘Im running on nothing but black coffee, a wetzels pretzel, and a fistful of B12. Do not even breathe in my directrion,’“ (Zahra Pg 339) 

“He leans up and kisses the underside of his jaw, finding it rough from a full fitful day,” (pg 340)

“‘What kind of family, that says we’ll take the murder, we’ll take the raping and pillaging and the colonizing, well scrub it up nice and neat in a museum but oh no you’re a bloody poof? That’s beyond our sense of decorum’” (Henry pg 347)

“Bea seizes the pot of tea from the center of the table and dumps it into his lap ‘Oh, I’m terribly sorry Pip’ she says grabbing him by the shoulders and shoving him sputtering and yelping toward the door ‘so deardfully clumsy, you know I think all that cocaine I did must have really done a job on my refexes!’” (Bea pg 357)

“Henry pulls Alex close and kisses him whispers, ‘I love you I love you I love you’ and it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter if anyone sees.” (Pg 358)

And that’s when I gave up I do have more but well I didn’t want to make this list any more

[angrylizardjacket]

the band with no name {Douglas Booth} 2

A/N: 1654 words. A bit shorter, but we’re getting into things now. idk how i feel about it, please give me feedback.

[PART 1]

Flop of The Month, your band, has an instagram account with exactly two posts on it, and Douglas feels like both and idiot, and a creepy stalker, for the amount of time he spends flicking through the two photos without actually liking them, for fear of you realising who he was.

Colson, however, seemed to have no such reservations.

“Look, I’m on their story,” Colson’s grinning from ear to ear as the cast and crew break for lunch the Monday after they’d seen your band play, showing Douglas his phone, and your band’s instagram story. It showed their notifications, highlighting how Colson had liked both photos and followed them, and had the caption ‘how’d the rap devil find us?’ and ‘not complaining tho’. 

“Bloody hell,” is all Douglas can bring himself to say, wearing a half-smile as they made their way to the costume department to get changed before lunch. It had been a low effort day, just jeans and t-shirts, but it was always safer to not eat in costume. Hair and makeup could stay and be touched up however.

Your band’s page had begun the day with 217 followers, and ended it with over a thousand. There wasn’t a link to your personal page, and so all he can do is scroll through your Facebook while waiting for Colson to be ready to go.

Y/N: weird question Y/N: also, hi Y/N: but yeh, weird question Y/N: was your friend last night mgk?

Douglas takes a moment to compose his thoughts before typing out his response.

Douglas: hi back Douglas: and yes.

There’s a few minutes of silence, and Douglas can feel his scalp itching beneath his wig, just a little, but he tries to ignore it.

Y/N: cool. Y/N: well it was nice meeting you guys!! Y/N: looking forward to seeing if ur band is real btw Douglas: probably wont be for a while Y/N: im happy to wait Y/N: if u want me there that is Douglas: if we ever actually play a gig, you’ll be the first to know

You send a blushing smiling emoji back, and Douglas finds himself strangely pleased.

“Is that her?” Colson asks, eyes shining as he pulled on his leather jacket; with his wig and makeup, he still absolutely looked the part. Douglas quickly slipped his phone in his pocket, knowing that a faint blush dusted his cheeks despite his best efforts. As he waffled his way through an affirmation, Colson’s smile just grew wider.

“I still don’t understand why you were being so vague; she probably would have jumped you there and then if she knew you were part of the Motley Crue movie, man.”

“Yeah,” Douglas said, his discomfort mounting at the insinuation, “that’s the problem, dude; first of all, I don’t know if she like the band themselves, or just the music, and if she does like the band,” he paused, shrugging a little, quietly embarrassed, “what if she likes them better than me?”

“They’re all married,” Colson says, like it immediately solves everything.

“Man, you know that’s not the issue,” Douglas sighed, but it’s clear he wasn’t done, and Colson just waited, eyebrows raised, “you know, girls who are like... like... how did you say it the other week? When that girl from Instagram was in your DMs every other minute?”

“Clout chasing,” Colson nodded sagely, suddenly understanding all too clearly his co-star’s apparent fears, “well she doesn’t know who you are yet.”

“Exactly,” Douglas exclaimed, glad the craft services tent was finally in view, feeling himself grow hungrier by the moment, “and I think I wanna keep it that way, just for now.”

“Better pray she doesn’t watch Jupiter Ascending,” Colson snorts, just as Douglas punches him in the arm. 

The next day, he messages you first, sends a photo of himself and the rest of the band out of costume, but holding their instruments, all wearing heels to help make it easier to wear them around set. 

Douglas: the band says hi Y/N: shit, you guys have instruments and everything Y/N: getting less sketchy by the minute

You follow it up with a winking emoji, and a photo of yourself, out in the sunshine, dressed impeccably, makeup dark and sharp, holding a stack of posters beside your head, advertising your band’s next gig; this Saturday.

Douglas: are you inviting me? Y/N: only if you’re saying yes

Your confident coyness amuses him, despite the way the shoes are pinching his toes, and he tells you he’ll be there.

The next day, you send a link to a band name generator, but more interestingly, you send it right around the time he’s getting his makeup done, early in the morning.

Douglas: early start? Y/N: my shop won’t open itself Douglas: your shop? Y/N: mini mall tattoo parlor hahaha

“She owns a tattoo parlor?” Daniel asks, reading over Douglas’s shoulder between takes, “you’d better make your move or Colson’s gonna go for her.” 

“Go for who?” Colson himself calls across set where his makeup’s being touched up.

“You weren’t meant to hear that!” Daniel shouts back, though he’s grinning, and adds, “Y/N. She owns a tattoo parlor.”

“Really, shit man, Doug she’s cool as hell,” Colson muses, before snorting, addressing Daniel, “gimme some credit, I’m letting the man shoot his shot; he’s my bro, not my competition.”

“Thanks man,” with the slightest smile, Douglas puts his phone away as the scene is reset around them, and Colson joins him in the middle of the living room set.

“I expect free tattoos, however,” he says with a faux seriousness, “because if you like her, like really like her, I’m gonna wingman the shit out of you.”

“Seriously?”

“Absolutely, man,” he claps Douglas on the shoulder with a surprisingly sincere expression.

It’s Colson who suggests, the following day, sending a video of Douglas playing the bass, asking if you had any pointers. They’re at band rehearsals again, blasting through their repertoire, when they get to Take Me To The Top, and as the song dies down, Colson makes the suggestion.

“Why are you filming it?” Iwan asks, and Colson’s smile is all teeth where he’s holding Douglas’s phone, answering before Douglas has the opportunity.

“Tryna help impress that punk chick from the band last weekend.”

“You’re actually talking to her?” Iwan asks with a bright, almost incredulous smile, “after everything that happened? She must really like you.” He muses, and Douglas feels his soul leaving this mortal plane.

“Smart move; asking for advice from her, lets her know you think she’s talented, and, well, you know,” Daniel shrugs, wiggling his fingers with a casual air. Douglas frowns, but Colson’s nodding.

“Exactly what I was thinking,” he agrees, and finally Douglas clues in. Dexterous fingers.

“Don’t be gross, guys,” he sighs, already regretting letting Colson help at all, “just take the damn video.”

It only takes thirty seconds for you to respond in All Caps.

Y/N: ARE YOU IN A MOTLEY CRUE COVER BAND

“I’m fucked,” Douglas mutters under his breath, staring wide-eyed at the message.

Y/N: you play so well dude just relax your stance and shoulders Y/N: fkn love take me to the top Y/N: seriously a motley cover band??? Y/N: you just instantly got 100x cooler

“Okay, maybe I’m not fucked,” he concedes after a moment, quietly breathing a sigh of relief.

Y/N: now i have to see u guys play!! Y/N: if that’s alright of course

“Nah, you’re definitely a little bit fucked,” Daniel offers over his shoulder, and Douglas pushes his face away.

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” Douglas grumbles, and Daniel shrugs bemusedly. 

“At least she thinks you play well,” but Douglas isn’t listening to him, he’s frantically tapping away on his phones, scowling, “what ‘re you doing?”

“Trying to come up with a name for our band -”

“Our fake band?” Iwan asks, arms crossed over his chest wearing an amused little smile, “do we have to play along with this too?”

“Not if you don’t want, just don’t... don’t tell her it’s fake is all.” Douglas offers, and the rest of the band nods.

“So how long are you going to play along with this bit?” Daniel ask, and Douglas heaves a sigh.

“Not sure; until I can trust that she’s not just in it to meet the actual band -”

“Which she doesn’t know you know,” Iwan interjected again, and Douglas nodded a little. After a beat, the rest of the band looked to each other, and seemed to share some sort of silent communication, before turning back to him.

“Okay,” Colson agrees easily, “if you’re serious about this chick you’ve known for five days,” he emphasizes, though Douglas doesn’t seem phased, “if we ever run into her, we’ll pretend we’re in a Motley Crue cover band.” He agrees, while Iwan and Daniel silently agree, though they look rather amused at the whole situation.

“There’s just something about her,” Douglas muses quietly.

“It’s the fact that she’s the coolest chick you’ve ever met,” Colson tells him with far too much authority, “and your little posh, school-boy brain wants to try something new.”

“Hey -” Douglas scoffed, though he was quickly talked over.

“She looks like she’d punch me in the face but I’d be okay with it,” Iwan adds, which, strangely enough, the rest of them agree to with various mischievous smiles. Douglas doesn’t exactly deny that he feels the same way.

“What’s our band name gonna be?” Daniel asks finally.

“The Fourskins,” Colson answers back immediately, grinning wide and proud of himself.

“Absolutely no-”

“That’s kind of genius,” Daniel snorts over Douglas’ protest, and so, on a three-to-one vote, their fake Motley Crue cover band is named The Fourskins, and Douglas kind of thinks he’d rather come clean there and then to you, rather than suffer through ever typing or saying that name to you. But he doesn’t. 

He really hopes you’re worth it.

[patchdotexe]

Explorers of Arvus: uhhhh / 3.23.21

today's notes are different from usual bc. well. you'll see

LAST TIME ON EXPLORERS OF ARVUS i broke my sleep schedule and am barely existing so this is fine. we went back to camp vengeance an uhhhhhhhhhhhh we are now going to fuck off into the forest to die or prove a very important point

oh god we forgot to level up

[mgd voice] BOOSTING NYX TO MAXIMUM LEVEL

im so fuckin tired. what on earth am i doing. how do i level again

k is not here this time but instead we've got mae+nii bonking their heads together to simulate 2 braincells and so far it is not working. i might just have to like fuckin, drop out n zzz partway thru or somethin. would be fun to see how chaotic michael makes charlie in my absensce

oh wait i can do d&dbeyond i think. how do i work this again. will i ever remember i have shield

what level am i. level 6? pog. oh shit i think i have a new thing

. new spell

. 3 total 3rd level spell slots

. bend luck! i can now screw people over on purpose (and will probably use my sorcery points FINALLY)

michael is leveling charlie up bc my brain is apple sos

ASDXFKLJFH I FEEL CALLED OUT zec rb'd my most recent art of MaX with "all i know about xem is that leo likes xem a lot that's the extent of my knowledge" THANK U FOR SUPPORTIN ME ANYWAY

there will be less blaseball distractions than last time bc blaseball is now on siesta. however i will still have MaX brainrot in the background bc i was drawing xem

wyatt mason my beloved

OKAY I GOTTA MUTE THE TACO STAND FOR THE ENTIRETY OF D&D i cannot and will not get distracted. we can do this. we

nintendo wii

we havent even started yet and im already incoherent

ok i have made a decision and that decision is that i do not have the brainpower to play. however i do have the brianpower to take notes hopefully! so ill just like. vibe. this will be a first

oh man im gonan pick up Blink. charlie is gonna be a fucking menace to herself and others

oh my god its not concentration so charlie may continue teleporting while unconscious. thorne is going to hate this

[charlie gets her soul eaten by a ring] [charlie singing dragonston din tei at halvkWAIT JORB HAS A PRIZE

jorb got a thing! an evil genius thing! figure man. fugrine. figuring. help

GREEN HAS DIAGNOSED ME AS TIGREX MONSTERHUNTER i love this

my notes are a disaster. this is so sucks

serotonin is stored in the wiggly zoomy jorb camera

jorb: his pinky is the size of the rest of his fingers

leo: he has a disease

jorb: he has a disease.

jorb: that disease is male pattern baldness

leo: [reduced to tearful giggling for mysterious reasons]

LAST TIME, ON EXPLORERS OF ARVUS: we've returned to camp vengeance! taure is still unconscious, which is not very great. camp vengeance is doin better tho!

michael, as part of the recap: ingrid is getting railed by her new girlfriend,

first dice roll of the day is michael rolled a 1. good start

OH THORNE IS AN ARTIFICER NOW thorne took a level in artificer!

"...it's like figuring out the right mathematical equation to summon a gun."

group is gonna go check out the statue that we passed by now that we're not WHAT DO YOU MEAN PONK AND GEORGE CANONICALLY HAVE IBS thats it im not looking at 772 anymore

im doing a bad job of paying attention but at least im Present

SIERON LEARNED FLY AND USED IT ON CHARLIE

michael: what do you want to do with your new flying powers?

leo: how many problems can i cause in 10 minutes

guard 1: ...why is the halfling flying?

guard 2: [rolls a 3 on intelligence] i think they can just do that

groundhogs, the real scourge of the campaign

silje and sieron are gonna hunt a big elk. they got distracted and sieron is putting grass on silje's head. i think

WAIT WE'RE ON WATCH NOW FUCK

we have discovered kali's tragic backstory whoops

update i am. too sleepy for this. good nigh everyone

[ and then leo went and somewhat took a nap! solar, normally playing thorne, started playing charlie in my stead. @jorbs-palace, local hero, started taking shitpost notes in my stead. ]

jorb's ghostwritten notes for leo:

help solar is immediately doing a cursed voice for charlie. charlie can do so many crimes

congratulations, charlie is now temporarily immortal!

dwarves can hit things with their beard

kali wants to know if she's legally allowed to bail

she'd feel really bad if she had to loot our corpses for payment if we died.

we have entered the Tree Zone

one of the corpses is now a flamingo (has one leg)

silje has decided to stab the ground. take that, dirt

kali was large size for a second there but then she remembered to not be a giant

"you accidentally deleted my cat?!"

silje has learned naruto cloning jutsu

be gone, thot

oh boy, making an int check to look at a statue! 11! silje is dumb apparently.

hmm. the statue has divination magic. it's also affecting silje.

SILJE LEARNED A 6TH LEVEL SPELL? its only single use but still

you solved my statue riddllllleeeee

thorne forgot to have eyes

its a shame mac and cheese doesnt exist in the d&d universe

wizards are just math criminals (the criminal part is setting people on fire)

sieron crit fails a check but it was still a 9 because of having +8

thorne is looking for what's weird!

uh oh music got scary, never a good sign

hmm. those leaves over there weren't dead a moment ago.

UNDEAD TROLL TIME! rolling initiative

"it's ok, im a wizard, it's my duty to be correct." "wow! waow!"

woooah here he comes

IT JUST DID HALF SIERON'S HEALTH AS A PASSIVE END OF TURN EFFECT?

thorne backed up and cast eldri- oh, ray of enfeeblement. character development continues

charlie is going to just blink out of existence for a minute.

big chungus has grabbed silje and sieron. BIG CHUNGUS HAS THROWN SILJE AND SIERON.

sieron is using hit and run tactics! isn't good at his extra attack yet though

silje is activating bid bid blood blood blood

thorne uses beam of skipping your leg day. troll's legs are now skipped.

michael is trying to determine what a 'clavicle' is

"does that mean the star trek kind, or the bdsm kind?"

charlie wants to cast magic missile.

charlie has vanished back into the ethereal plane mid-taunt

silje has decided to not get bitten today

silje may or may not have stats.

oh, right, trolls are weak to fire! and also we forgot to upgrade sieron's firebolt. so it actually hurts now!

silje is full of knives and blades and does 31 damage in one turn!

charlie shouts words of encouragement from the ethereal plane. a nearby ghost vibes with this.

🎉 eldritch blast 🎉

kali remembered she hates the sun

silje is enthuasiatic about charlie saying "get him cat boy!"

charlie contemplating using fireball to nuke the troll and also the entire stonehenge

charlie has decided to use magic missile instead, probably for the best

the troll bit at charlie SO POORLY it broke some of its teeth on the ground

charlie is too small to hit

accidentally rolled advantage on a firebolt, so got to learn it WOULD have done 29 damage with a crit but instead it missed because it was not actually with advantage

silje has just sliced open its entire back and made a spray of frozen blood! radical. big boy is down!

we have burned the body because we are not stupid. well, we ARE stupid, but not stupid in the way of leaving a body full of necrotic magic around

[dr coomer voice] i think it's good that he died!

we're also doing a funeral pyre for the other corpses that were around. just to be sure.

our loot is: the satisfaction of a job well done

thorne is cosplaying as charlie

charlie has located the direction troll came from! she found the 'the way to sweet loot' sign

thorne is apparently better at survival checks than our hired guide? wack

we found a viking house! it has: mead, a shield, gravestones,

found a gold coin in the mead! maybe it was thirsty

oh theres a LOT Of coins in there actually. 60 gold and 120 silver!

have successfully pointed out a hole in the DM's logic :)

there was a raven! it cawed and left. ok bye buddy

and that's where we leave it! heading back to camp vengeance next time.

someone rated this session a 7.2 out of 10, which is very specific

good night mr coconut

[burnedbyshoto]

but like.. bakugou told deku to kill himself and bullied deku to the point where he had a fight or flight response instilled in him how is that romance...

im assuming that this is in response to me being a bakudeku shipper, and it caught my eye while switching back to my askbox, so I will answer now.

there is no denying that. as a bakudeku shipper never will I ever deny that bakugou was a bully towards izuku because if i did I would be lying. but i think a lot of antis are super transfixed on this idea of how bakugou used to be. 

through that logic of bakugou being a bully, why you you ship him with anyone? how can you say bakudeku is wrong because bakugou is a bully, but ship any other bakugou ship??? it doesnt matter that bakugou bullied izuku and not them, the point is that hes a bully, so why would he deserve love??? 

moreover, I see the bakugou versus deku fight pt 2 as an apology. it was a battle of equals. for the first time bakugou acknowledged izuku as an individual, he finally saw him. bakugou, as is izuku, was a product of his environment. people expected him to be the best because his quirk is phenomenal. he was told he was a genius, a god, someone who could rival all might, and he put in the work to prove that he could be. 

the fact of the matter is that everyone bullied izuku, not just bakugou. 

sure, bakugou was the biggest face and name in this bullying, but its a given. bakugou isnt made to be weak in front of people because of his superiority. if he just ignored izuku people would call him out on being kind to the quirkless -- which for only 20% of the population being quirkless in the ENTIRE WORLD not just japan -- its better to be a bitch. and after the instance with the sludge monster villain bakugou also sorta stops his bullying... why? i don’t know, I think its because truly for the first time ever izuku proved to be more than just words. for years izuku wanted to be a hero but never put in hard work. as cruel as it is to say, how would you like it if someone aspired to have the same goals as you and never put in a single ounce of work into it while you worked your ass off for it (after all it is heavily implied by momos detailed insight of how bakugou is able to throw himself around midair and not be affected by the large blast of his grenade that hes been training since well before ua).

anyways so when izuku enters ua, hes suddenly not bullied. remember izuku was bullied because he was quirkless -- not because he was a fucking loser or something -- but because he was QUIRKLESS. when he enters ua he’s no longer quirkless, he has a quirk, and a fucking powerful on at that. which means bakugou can no longer bully izuku, because again he only had the quirkless part as ammo and that was it. bakugou doesnt really have an issue with who izuku is as a person, he uses damn nerd as an insult but like,,, hes a nerd too so it means nothing.

I mean look at all the moments where bakugou “bullies” izuku while at ua, far and few between and most of it coming from that first arc where he was stupefied about the fact that quirkless deku finally has a quirk. hell, id be pissed off too because how can someone not have a quirk for 11 years of their existence and then one day wake up with a quirk that rivals his own without any fucking training. besides that instant I truly cannot remember a time where bakugou truly bullied izuku. sure, hes been a hardass and ruthless, but thats just who bakugou is. just because he was cruel to izuku doesnt mean calling him a crybaby isnt the same as him calling kirishima shitty hair or hair for brains.

moving on, ive also read the manga.

to say that their relationship hasnt improved is a bigggggg fucking lie. theyre friends now and thats the truth. they’re equals. 

now about the entire romance thing, outside of izuku and uraraka there has been no romance surrounding either izuku or bakugou and thats the honest truth. people may rave about this and that, of how kiribaku held hands and theyre more than just bros, but the truth is there hasnt been romance, just implied, and just personalized romance. i think that bakudeku have the potential of having a good romance because I do.

I hope I havent lead you to believe that im a bully sympathizer or some Stockholm syndrome person because had they still had their relationship from the first 10 episodes of season one it would be, but theyve evolved. izuku isn’t a quirkless crybaby anymore, and bakugou isnt the asshole time bomb. 

theyre the wonder duo and thats something that cant be touched. 

I dont care much if you dont like them, youre welcomed to have your own opinion! go ahead and hate bakudeku and think its unhealthy until the day you die for all I care, i’m going to continue to squeal and look at my bakudeku fanart because they make me happy. it is only an anime and a matter of opinion after all!

[bladengineer]

more beyblade headcanons because i’m galaxy braining here my lads

okay listen to me, this hasn't left me in like. three damn days because the concept is just so damn delicious and i need to tell you all about it okay so LISTEN UP YALL;

all female beyblade team

that’s right you guys, a full on All Girls Team who will absolutely wipe the floor with EVERYONE

okay, concept;

another contest of sorts is coming up after all the events of GRev so at this point Mariah is like “oh sweet i wonder who else is gonna participate”

so she jumps on the all girls group chat (shut UP, they definitely have one as a support group to handle teenage boys whom they truly love and appreciate but sometimes they just wanna sling their arm around the boys necks and squeeze)

anyway, Mariah jumps on and asks everyone if their teams are gonna participate bc thats gonna be fun!! they haven't seen each other in a while!! sleepovers!! shopping trips!!

Mariah: man sometimes i wish i could be in a team with you guys Mathilda: omg yeah that would be so fun Emily: a concept; we can Julia: we should Hilary: Mariah u absolute genius

i can't believe the girls really just went “fuck it; Girl Time now” and made their own fucking team just because they can

Boys: k cool have fun!! Kai, an Intellectual: what have you done

you bet your ass Hilary immediately phoned Mariam like

Hilary: are you tired of being nice? don’t you just wanna go apeshit? Mariam: say no more

OKAY BUT HILARY. IS THEIR PERSONAL TRAINER AND ITS GOING TO BE ABSOLUTE MAYHEM

the girls take one look at Hilary’s Training Regime From Hell and are just like “HELL YEAH”

if you don’t think the girls are competitive as fuck then you will now

Hilary: cool okay so we’re just gonna warm up all nice and easy Hilary: and then we’re gonna run laps until we throw up Girls: YEAH

they had to dial back a little when poor Mathilda fainted from overexertion

Emily: maybe we need to personalise the regime more Julia: agreed.

as the girls are down to get fucking shredded they also call Judy who only hears “All Girls Team” and is immediately game

Judy: Amazing. Sensational. Inspiring. Fantastic. Groundbreaking.

its because of her that when the day comes, the girls surprise the entire stadium with not only their team line up, but also the fact that they all wear personalised and matching uniforms

PINK FUCKING MAGICAL GIRL INSPIRED LETTERMAN JACKETS!! BASEBALL TEES!! TRACK PANTS!! EVEN SNAPBACKS!!

they kill their opponents with fashion alone and the audience goes absolutely nuts

every WLW in the crowd has changed fucking sides, they almost get whiplash

the Boys are understandably Terrified by the sheer power the Girls have but half of them are also crying bc. they are So Proud

and when the contest starts, the Girls give them all a hard ass fucking time, its fantastic. so many battles from that contest are repeatedly featured in Top Ten Best Beyblade Battles compilations

Judy: okay ladies! gather around, what are we here for?! Girls: TO WIN Judy: correct! and how do we deal with our opponents?! Girls: FUCKING KILL THEM Judy: wonderful! im so proud!

so are the boys. they are so proud. but by god, they are shitting themselves at the unhinged violence, its fantastic

Bryan: this going to be the best fucking competition ever, Boss Lady is going to have a fucking blast

of course Hilary doesn't participate as a Blader, but she’s her girls personal hype man and its as hilarious and heartwarming as it is instilling the fear of god in people

Hilary: yay! you’re doing so well Julia! also Hilary: NOW SLAUGHTER HIM

the audience is going hog wild with the energy, its so great

the Girls end up in 2nd Place by sheer fucking grit, skill and willpower and they all shriek and cry in joy, share hugs and kisses as if they hadn’t just shown the world they could kill a man with bare hands

they celebrate by crashing in their hotel room and taking a 17h nap

after that, they dress up and go out for an entire day for themselves, going shopping, visiting cafes and eating pretty pastries

guys, im crying those girls love each other so much, i just want them to at least hang out together please im begging

[unalienablerights]

@javert posts about legend of the galactic heroes a lot so i decided to watch a bit of it and folks...It’s Good. some thots from the first few eps

the soundtrack is VERY funny to me because its exactly how i would score anything, aka don’t compose anything just recycle classical music. A+

my favorite part so far is when little kid reinhard (?) tried to kill another kid with a rock and siegfried was just like. no. you little rascal. don’t get blood on your sleeve i love you and this absolutely FERAL child decides the next thing to do is to run into the center of government with a gun. strategic genius my ass. were they trying to make me think sieg had the hots for annerose? cos lmao. good use of the siegfried idyll though.

yang is the most relatable character because he had a bad day so he went into a dark room and sat alone and blasted beefoven eroica mvmt 4, and also only drinks tea. uncomfortably relatable.

the idea of having these futuristic spaceships but the bridge is equipped with leather armchairs and marble columns and the font is fucking FRAKTUR is so goddamn on point. what a concept...deutschaboo

can these spaceships not. like. reverse?

the design of iserlohn fortress absolutely slaps. inscrutable mercury space sphere on the outside, weimar neon deutschaboo on the inside. hell yes.

finally, a big fan of the dude with the anime eyes whose name i didn’t catch. he’s like “hey...your commander has more than 2 brain cells...buddy can i uhhh transfer to your fleet?” siegfried: “...suspicious” Anime Eyes: “listen i know every single person in this empire Wants Your Twink Obliterated but im literally on your side dw”

[enchantedamusedslightlyconfused]

73 questions.

I was tagged by @wescoasts @machine-gun-casie (BABES)

Almost all my friends have been tagged and I don't wanna be that asshole so ill try not to be. I tag @awkwardrocker @backoftheroomandnotbelonging @trixiehoe @she-who-is-timey-wimey

On a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now?

Well it’s finals week so about -864. After that I have two weeks of legitimate nothing where I will bake my heart out so we’ll see

Describe yourself in a hashtag?

#yikes #ughshesinherfeelsagain 

If you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be?

Milo Ventimiglia, Kells, Rook.....being a music video love interest is only my life’s pipe dream 

If your life was a musical, what would the marquee say?

And that’s on daddy issues and no supervision...

What’s one thing people don’t know about you?

I used to model like went to modeling school and got paid for it type shit

What’s your wakeup ritual?

get woken up by my dog tired of hearing my alarm, walk said opinionated quadruped, feed quadruped, get dressed, COFFEE, then take life as it comes

What’s your go to bed ritual?

melatonin gummies (gotta make anxiety fun), skincare when executive dysfunction will allow, brush teeth, fight dog for my spot in bed (moving a 90lb animal is no joke), turn on my sleep playlist or use my ambient noise app, stare at ceiling

What’s your favorite time of day?

witching hour followed by golden hour

Your go to for having a good laugh?

lately tiktok and Kellyvisions, previously vine compilations or Netflix specials

Dream country to visit?

Ireland. I NEED to go to the motherland. My families castle is still standing and I get in for free. its on my bucket list FOR SURE. 

What’s the biggest surprise you’ve had?

getting into nursing school and chiropractic school. I’m a loser and I’ve never had a surprise party. I’d melt in puddle of love tbh

Heels or flats/sneakers?

Flats 98% of the time. Heels are reserved for business casual necessity, Halloween, or if I’m feeling myself 

Vintage or new?

both, depends on the item

Who do you want to write your obituary?

Amy-Sherman Palladino 

Style icon?

lmao a what? on the real though catch me fucking with those eco-friendly kitchen witch vibes. All the dainty jewelry, linens and converse/docks fam

What are three things you can’t live without?

my dog, my family (found and blood), healing people however I can (medicine ruined me for any other career and its sucks you guys)

What’s one ingredient you put in everything?

tbh salt, I question a recipes validity if salt isn't involved 

What 3 people living or dead would you like to make dinner for?

Kells and the band (I'd be too nervous for a one on one), a dinner party with my MGK fam, Elvis

What’s your biggest fear in life?

Failure, not accomplishing anything 

Window or aisle seat?

window all day everyday, on the wing preferably cause I like to feel the landing gear #pilotsgranddaughter 

What’s your current TV obsession?

Roadies forever, pry that series from my cold dead hands (also Gilmore Girls and Criminal Minds)

Favorite app?

tie between Tumblr and Pinterest (im an aesthetic slut)

Secret talent?

I am bomb at disney princess songs, the girls I babysit for treat me like a jukebox at bedtime, cutest thing ever

Most adventurous thing you’ve done in your life?

delivered a baby has hands down been the coolest thing I’ve ever done

How would you define yourself in three words?

I fucking hate this question. always have. empathetic, resilient, intuitive 

Favourite piece of clothing you own?

overall: my senior prom dress. its emerald green, backless, with a slit to upper thigh chefs kiss 

everyday wear: Colorado sweatshirt

Must have clothing item everyone should have?

I second Jude: over sized hoodies

Superpower you would want?

nonspecific healing powers so they aren't limited to physical ailments

What’s inspiring you in life right now?

Colson

Best piece of advice you’ve received?

HA. probably that the body remembers more about trauma than the mind and your seemingly irrational physical reactions to things are your brain’s attempt to protect you

Best advice you’d give your teenage self?

his mistake does not define your worth. I went for a variant of these boys aint shit don't judge me cause she needs to hear it

A book that everyone should read?

Harry Potter series (yes the whole thing), Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson, Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson, The Giver by Lois Lowry 

What would you like to be remembered for?

empathy, the way I made people feel

How do you define beauty?

FOR THE LAST TIME ITS SUBJECTIVE, things that give you peace, it could be a song, a person, a sunset, a scone, a leaf. If it makes you stop a second and exhale then its beautiful to you

What do you love most about your body?

holy trigger question Batman...my eyes, my hair color, texture, and its ability to grow

Best way to take a rest/decompress?

drive with the windows down and blast music while singing at the top of my lungs

Favorite place to view art?

unexpected places, like street corners, carnivals, just somewhere it takes you off guard and makes you stop and pay attention

If your life were a song, what would the title be?

it’d be one of those crazy long 2000s fall out boy titles for sure, subject matter yet to be determined 

If you could master one instrument, what would it be?

violin hands down, it hits me different

If you had a tattoo, where would it be?

I have a bunch planned, plane on my right shoulder, Kells related between 3rd and 4th ribs (maybe lower in case I ever need a chest tube), watercolor portrait of my dog at some point location TBD

Dolphins or koalas?

dolphins are stoners and they're super smart, but koalas cause they’re grumpy af and honestly same

What’s your spirit animal?

again Jude and I are vibin: I've been identifying with a phoenix as of late. according to pottermore im a greyhound though (yes a patrons is a wizarding spirit animal. fight me)

Best gift you’ve ever received?

seven year old me was stoked to get a functional microscope and metal detector, I was in my egyptology/archeology phase, I still have them lmao

Best gift you’ve ever given?

oh hell idk...I made my cousin cry once cause I made cupcakes for her birthday party, they were cherry limeade flavored and had little straws and everything. that was pretty cool, granted she was seven. I also made my teacher cry cause I made sea salt caramel chocolate cupcakes for her going away party. I guess my baking brings people to tears

What’s your favourite board game?

candy land, battleship, cards against humanity even though there isn't a board

What’s your favourite colour?

forest green atm

Least favourite colour?

bright yellow/orange, its offensive to my general The Dirt Mick Mars disposition

Diamonds or pearls?

pearls (actually opals though)

Drugstore makeup or designer?

not picky provided they are evironmentally friendly. I really like Besame Cosmetics though

Blow-dry or air-dry?

air-dry, I don't have the patience for blow drying

Pilates or yoga?

yoga

Coffee or tea?

COFFEE, im still learning to like tea

What’s the weirdest word in the English language?

holy shit how much time do we have, my favorite weird word to say is fistula or omphalocele (they're medical conditions, don't goole it unless you have a strong stomach) 

Dark chocolate or milk chocolate?

dark chocolate

Stairs or elevator?

stairs 

Summer or winter?

neither FALL BITCHES   winter if I had to pick cause I love Christmas 

You are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat?

burgers

A desert you don’t like?

red velvet cake....just why is it a thing that exists 

A skill you’re working on mastering?

baking scones or shit that’s flaky in general 

Best thing to happen to you today?

being tagged to do this twice, I felt special for a hot second (thanks babes)

Best compliment you’ve ever received?

that I would make a good doctor (I handled a scary pt situation like a champ, they didn't know I threw up after I made sure my pt didn't die. puking in a foreign country on the download is a skill in and of itself)

Favorite smell?

bergamot, baking bread, baking spice cakes at Christmas

Hugs or kisses?

HUGS CAN SAVE THE WORLD

If you made a documentary, what would it be about?

gifted kid fall off

Last piece of content you consumed that made you cry?

In These Walls - Machine Gun Kelly

Casual Sabotage - Yungblud

genius assholes...

Lipstick or lip gloss?

lipstick for special occasions but actually tinted chapstick or lip stains 

Sweet or savoury?

savory to eat sweet to make for someone else

Girl crush?

Brittney Furlan Lee, Alexis Bledel, Lauren Graham 

How you know you’re in love?

you look at them and just say yep. them. usually while they're doing something stupid 

Song you can listen to on repeat?

imma out myself but Swing Life Away - Machine Gun Kelly

If you could switch lives with someone for a day who would it be?

the grass is not greener ya’ll. id rather go back and relive days 

What are you most excited about at this time in your life?

hopefully passing my first trimester of chiropractic school. fingers crossed pls

[thoms-sins-blog]

Dark!Peter x Tony

the fic you didn’t know you needed

“i cant do it, mr. stark. i can’t let her have you. i can’t let anyone…anyone have you. do you understand that? if i can’t have you, no one can.”

“kid…pete, please think this through–”

“oh, i have. you’re gonna come away with me for a very long time, mr. stark…’cause i want to keep thinking about what im going to do with you, and what you’re gonna do to me…i’ve been wanting it so long…”

From @snowydisco ‘s moodboard here, I loved it soo much, wanted to try this out :^P

I don’t really write but I did my best, treat me kindly!! i just wrote this out on a whim, no real smut yet but please let me know if anyone wants more!

[Just a bit of Pepper and Tony for backstory (I knoww it bores me too but it makes it so much more painful >:) ) I SWEAR TONY DOES LIKE PETER he just feels bad and its gonna take a lot for him to admit it, if smut comes he will def be into it, a manipulative and very jealous peter, also a little bit of venom mentioned for the hell of it?]

Dark!Peter x Tony! (Right may be a tad more dark than expected....)

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Peter’ masked hands were ruffling the golden locks of an unconscious Pepper, slowly stroking it and admiring his work. He slipped off his mask, detaching from the seam around his neck and over his head, letting out a sigh. His dark eyes were glittering in fascination and he had a smirk on his face, knowing he was fully in control now that he’s got them secure. He did enough to shake up Tony. Spider-man was not a killer. She was only drugged...a lot, but not enough to kill her. No, why would he do such a thing? 

Not little Peter Parker. Not the weird math club kid that was easy to pick at school, the one who couldn’t keep his crushes around, his celebrity genius mentor, even looked down on him, as if he had no power at all.

Didn’t anyone know the power he possessed? The strength? Being humble started to get old for Peter, it started driving him into a rage, thinking about how he could tear this whole city down to shreds. Little Peter Parker.

The expression of Tony Stark’s disappointed face when all he did was what was right for the safety of innocent people, that moment on the top of the building after the boat incident, where his self-esteem was utterly crumbled. Mr. Tony Stark just couldn’t hold back, did everything he could to tear down Peter for his own amusement. Tony just knew he was so much better than Peter. Not anymore. Peter’s the one in control now.

Peter always looked up to Tony. He was this genius inventor, the brains of Stark Industries, the things he created that fast forwarded tech across the globe. He was so attractive, strong, smart, smooth, he could get anyone he wanted. Everything Peter wanted to be. 

Over time, he had quite the collection of snippets of Tony Stark from the papers, magazines, screenshots from paparazzi online. He kept them in books under his bed, saved folders, hundreds of pictures of him arranged by time taken. He would scroll and stare at them for hours, brushing his thumb against the jaw of an ultra HD picture of Tony. He imagined the roughness of stubble, then the hairs of the longer pieces of beard he kept trimmed so nicely, the aged and no less beautiful skin around his dark chocolate eyes. It made him dizzy just by looking.

For a while, his obsession with Tony Stark kept him from the thin line between lashing out, and keeping up Peter Parker’s weak image, as well as the release of stress he got when kicking the shit out of goons on bad streets in the Bronx as Spider-Man. Being Spider-Man always made him feel confident. 

On his way back home, he’d always stop on a tall bank building across from Stark tower, watching Tony, with his blonde and freckled girlfriend Pepper, dancing around with disgustingly sweet hands held. They swayed to the slow stream of music that even Peter could hear so far away. They sipped wine and talked on end, lounging. Every time she even got a peck of a kiss from Tony, Peter winced, tugging his bottom lip with a jealousy that even he denied early on. 

When he was taken into the Avengers slash ‘Stark internship’, it was like his dreams came true.

It was like Peter Parker from high school didn’t exist anymore. Suddenly he was surrounded by important people, surrounded by people who needed him by their side, as allies. He was spoiled to the brim by the venture, especially the new decked out Spidey suit that he adored.

He got to see such cool things, was brought in by Mr. Stark, to check out the amazing lab he had, and understand secrets of how he brought his insane ideas to life that blew Peter’s mind. He even let him use his labs whenever he liked, having a blast at tinkering with his web shooters.

Every now and then Tony gave Peter a look when he did something right, or praising him for an idea while they worked. Peter naturally took that as a possible attraction to him. The wonder quickly spiraled Peter into violent masturbating sprees. Having sensitive spidey senses and unstable hormones tended to make everything that much more intense and hard to deal with. 

It didn’t help that the expensive bathrooms at Stark tower had huge mirrors that were unavoidable, so he was stuck looking at himself when he did so. Moaning “Mr. Stark,” quietly, his eyes rolling into the back of his head as he rode out into orgasm to the end of his toes. 

As those times came more often and his adoration escalated, his only attraction from that point on was Tony. His vision was only him, all the time.

All the attention made him drunk with adoration for Mr. Stark. His favorite looks from him were in his garage, covered in oil and dirt, his arms and face glistening with sweat, collarbone peeking from his wife beater. It was like porn to him.

He was shaken from his staring contest with Tony when the pencil skirted and playfully formal Pepper came in, giving Tony a rundown of CEO type things that Peter didn’t really know about. She offered a soft smile and wave at Peter when she came in. He knew how much Tony loved her, and he knew what she was doing. Peter waved back, shooting a humble smile and nod at her.You fucking slut.

Over time, they started to drift apart, and that made Peter very, very happy. Peter purposefully ended her phone calls to Tony sometimes, even made it so Tony’s messages to her didn’t send.

Still, Peter kept up the persona that he supported Mr. Stark, half mentioning he hasn’t seen her around much, a wave of disappointment washing over Tony’s face. When Peter reminded him that he was here to simply keep him company, he knew that he was reeling Tony in.

Still, though, she somehow always made her way back in. Once at a company party, they were seen casually talking, then getting closer as they sipped more of their martinis, Tony whispering sweet nothings against her neck. Peter closed his fists so hard his palms bled. Karen reminded him that he was hurting himself.

Pepper just kept coming back and luring Tony in, making Peter shake with intense envy, he seemed to be knocking out bad guys faster than usual those nights. He ignored conversation with the citizens he saved, because he was just ready for the next gig.

One night, he finally snapped. This was that night.

He couldn’t even remember what happened towards this moment, he only saw red and flashes of white, and now he had Pepper webbed up to the floor of the living room in Tony Stark’s home. The same room he’d been looking in from outside all this time. She would stay unconscious for a long while.

“Peter. Peter,” Tony breathed out, his heart was feeling a bit wrong, he had difficulty breathing after witnessing what Peter just did.

Peter licked his bottom lip, giving a kiss to Pepper’s cheek as Tony would, he knew it would mess with him. He stood up, moving his hand up the stalk of a curved metal pillar with his back still turned to Tony, looking out the large window down at the city.

“Peter, kid...”

“Don’t ‘kid’ me. I’m so tired of that shit.” Peter snapped.

Tony gulped, worry racking his eyes and beads of sweat collecting at his temples. He was hard bound by webs around a chair, Peter was just too strong for him, especially now that his emotions aren’t easily swayed. He was real smart about it too, he had all the electricity cut off in the tower, the AI’s weren't able to cooperate, most likely because of Peter’s adept hands with tech. He knew he wouldn't be able to call on them. God, he was such a bright kid. He just didn’t understand how it ended up like this.

At some point, Peter changed. he wasn't always this moody, he used to be kind, humble, looked up to Tony and he knew it. He couldn't put his finger on what it was. He also didn’t understand why Pepper was brought into this.

“I just don’t get it,” Peter starts, he turns his head, down at Peppers sleeping face, dragging a padded foot down her side, arms crossed. 

“I’m so much better than her,” he whispers. He whips up at Tony with dark and focused eyes, low browed and jaw set.

Tony blinks a couple of times, trying to keep up, he’s still a bit lightheaded from all the action, but locks eyes with Peter when he looks at him.

“Kid, I really don’t understand what you’re trying to get at here, but you seriously need to get your act together. What’s gotten into you?” Tony shakes his head, speaking direct but in a hurt tone. He rotates his arms a bit, trying to ignore the oncoming burns from the tightness of the bounds.

Peter shivers at his tone, sending prickles of electricity all over him. This was just a taste of how having Tony all to himself would be. 

He felt full of vim and vigor, feeling a smirk coming on but he pushes it down, making his way slowly over to Tony, his hands finding each other behind his back.

“Mr. Stark...I’m sorry...” Peter says weakly, his deeper voice cracks at the top in a small whine, he pulls his eyes from the floor up in a doe-like shy attitude that completely opposed the dark one from earlier, planting one foot in front of another.

Tony’s eyes scrunch in disbelief, noticing a string of black veins lining the side of Peter’s neck, pulsating like a virus. What is that?

“Mr. Stark,” he says again.

Tony inhales at the sound of it, his mouth twitches knowing its just a mask hiding something awful.

Peter bites the inside of his cheek, trying not to smile. He knows it’s getting to him.

“Mr. Stark, I just...” Peter lets out a sigh, planting himself on one of Tony’s thighs, wrapping an arm around his shoulders, knowing he can’t do anything about it. 

He can’t resist rubbing his splayed hands around the bulk of him, his neck and chest, not able to hold back the heat that rattles his body straight down to his cock. All from simply touching him. He’s waited to be able to do this for so long.

“I just, I can’t do it, Mr. Stark.” That again. Tony turns away, looking down at Pepper with a pained expression. 

Tony’s starting to get it now, he knows he’s not going anywhere. Really, he’s in such shock it’s hard to find words. Peter leans closer into his neck, inhaling the sharp scent of his cologne and sweat, drawing a webbed finger around his other ear. 

“I can’t let her have you, I cant let anyone...anyone, have you. You understand that, don’t you? Yeah?” He can feel Tony shivering, silent. He can’t take this.

Peter brushes his lips against his ear, slapping a strong hold around the back of his neck.

 If I can’t have you...no one can.”

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Again, please let me know if you want more! i could make this into a chapter like thing! I just wanted to try it out >:P

-Thom