#boysplanet 999

[boysplanetrecaps]

Boys Planet Episode 3-4 Recaps: Very Nice

If you’re following the MNET show Boys Planet, you probably know by now that the editors are extremely irritating. For a song “mission” like this, they show 2-3 minute montages of some of the teams practicing, then fast forward to show time passing, then make it look like the performance will start any moment, and then have a lengthy flashback before we finally get to see the performance. 

So, I made a main recap that takes you through episodes 3 and 4 in a linear way, but then when it comes to focusing on each team, I’ll put all those thoughts in a separate post so you can keep the storylines straight. This post covers the Very Nice teams' rehearsal and performance.

The Teams

K team:

Leader: Lee Dong Yeol 

Other members: Cha Woong Ki, Jang Ji Ho, Jung Min Gyu, Mun Jung Hyun, Seo Won, Yoo Seung Eon

You must recognize Jung Min Gyu, the 23 years old who auditioned with My House in a red shirt. He was ranked 50th then 39th, and has been 0 stars the whole time. 

You might also recognize Seo Won, because we see him all the time in reaction shots. He’s 22, auditioned with Attention, was ranked 18th then 22nd, was a 3 star at first and then got lifted up to 4 stars with his cute level test. 

Jang Ji Ho is 18 years old, also auditioned with Attention, was ranked 72nd then 75th, and has been a 2 star the whole time.

Both Won and Ji Ho are members of the nugu group NINE.i  (along with Thai idol Winnie).

Lee Dong Yeol, the leader, is 24 and is better known (maybe) as Xiao in Up10tion. He was 2 stars at first and is now 1 star, and was ranked 26th and then 33rd. 

Cha Woong Ki is 20 years old, auditioned with Bloom Bloom, was ranked 10th then 17th, and was a 1 star at first and then was lifted to 2 stars. He used to be in T01 under the name Woongi, where he held the position of “vocalist.” 

Mun Jung Hyun is 17 years old, auditioned with The Real, was ranked 24th then 35th, was a 3 star at first and then was lifted to 4 stars. 

Yoo Seung Eon is 19 years old, auditioned with Kick It, was ranked 19th then 44th, was a 4 star at first and then dropped to 3 stars along with his whole team. He introduced himself as “The main vocalist with a titanium voice,” and he was my favorite on this whole team during their audition. I thought his vocals were fantastic and that his dancing was better than many currently working main vocalists. 

G team:

Leader: Ouju (eventually)

Other members: Hiroto, Cong, Ichika, Ma Jing Xiang, Wen Ye Chen, Yuki

These collages take 100 years to make, so I can’t promise I’ll keep doing it for my readership of 3, but maybe. 

Ma Jing Xiang is 19, Chinese, auditioned with Reveal, was ranked 16th and then 27th, was 2 stars and then dropped to 0. You may remember him as “the handsomest one” on the very tall Reveal team.

Hiroto is 20, Japanese, auditioned with Conduct Zero, was ranked 11th and then 15th, and has been 2 stars the whole time. We haven’t seen a ton of him on the show, but he was ranked 4th when they ranked the trainees based on the views on their Signal Song fancams. He was most likely the “chooser” of this group. 

Ichika is 30 -- the oldest in the competition, Japanese, auditioned with Shine, was ranked 58th and then 62nd, was 1 star and then 0 stars. We haven’t seen a ton of him, but we did hear him shouting encouragement to Matthew in excellent English. 

Ouju is 18, Japanese, auditioned with Shine, was ranked 67th and then 78th, was 0 stars and then 2! You may remember him as the “dance captain” of the zero stars, and a generally sweet guy.

Yuki is 21, Japanese, auditioned with Crown, was ranked 36th and then 40th, was 0 stars and then 1. You may remember him from the Zero stars singing lesson in episode 2, telling us in an interview that he has never taken any singing or dancing lessons and that his trainee period is “0 months.” 

Cong is 22, Vietnamese, auditioned with View, was ranked 66th and then 48th, was 1 star and then was lifted up to 3 stars! He was ranked 4th when they ranked the trainees based on the views on their Signal Song fancams. 

Wen Ye Chen is 22, Chinese, auditioned with Call Me Baby, was ranked  56th and then  57th, was 1 star and then 0 stars. He was the main vocal in his audition team, and didn’t do as badly as the edit made it look.

Team Selection:

We didn’t get to see either team as it is being picked, but as far as I can tell, this is the 4th K-group picked and the third G-group picked. Cha Woongki picked his team, and Haruto picked his team. 

Episode 3, 1:06:55 

Part Selection

K-group elects Lee Dong Yeol leader immediately, as he is the oldest and also is a member of a debuted team (though so are/were Seo Won, Jang Ji Ho, and Cha Woong Ki).

Meanwhile, G-group is having a lengthy debate on who should be the leader. Ouju basically just wants to be the dance captain, which is a good thing for him to be. He’s good at that, as we’ve seen. Ichika agrees, and goes further, suggesting that they could have multiple leaders, one for each aspect of the performance. Again, not the worst idea -- that’s what Seventeen does, and ONF as well. But Cong doesn’t like the idea, and basically will not budge.  

Their debate is clearly hampered by their difficulties communicating. Many of the team seem relatively comfortable speaking Korean -- notably, Ichika, who uses Korean even in his interviews -- while some clearly prefer their native language (notably Yuki, who defaults to Japanese in interviews, and Cong, who seems most comfortable in English, but even that isn’t terrific). To be clear, I’m not critiquing their language skills. I know from personal experience how completely mentally draining it is to be somewhere where you don’t speak the language well (or at all). I think the show should have given them a translator or two. Hell, google translate would have gone a long way. I’ve sat at youth hostels with new friends and we just type back and forth in google translate and have a whole long convo like that! It’s obvious that this is really hampering their success.

Weirdly, for some reason, the rule is that they can’t distribute the parts until both teams have picked a leader, so K-team just has to sit there in an awkward semi circle waiting. If I were them, I’d be trying to remember the lyrics of the song and at least talking about who might want to be a main vocal, maybe do some vocal scales to warm up, that kind of thing. Just get the ball rolling. 

It looks like they discuss this for at least a half an hour, maybe a lot longer, but eventually pick Ouju as leader. Good call! I have such a soft spot for Ouju, you guys. I don’t know what it is but I just find him charming. Ouju, ganbatte kudasai! 

K-group needs to pick a main vocal, and “titanium voice” Yoo Seung Eon steps forward. He has no rivals, so they just choose him. They also must have picked Cha Woong Ki for the “Killing Part” right away, most likely because he’s the most popular on the team (though I might have gone with Seo Won). There is also a subvocal 1 part that appears to have a lot of high notes, and it looks like it’ll go to Seo Won until the multi talented Mun Jung Hyun steps forward and kills it. So he can do a deep raspy rap, but also this sweet high melody? He’s great. 

Meanwhile, G-group has given the killing part to Hiroto, which makes sense as he’s the most popular member.  And Cong has taken the main vocal, which might turn out ok. He actually sang decently well in his audition, even though the judges subtracted 3 stars for his pronunciation or some horseshit. They’re arguing over the last two parts as we move on to the next segment. 

To continue with the Very Nice teams, skip to 1:34:33, where we see the teams coming out. The K-group is dressed in shades of blue, while the G-group is dressed in shades of pink. 

The K-team introduces itself first, and we see in the audience that a girl is holding a sign that says Lee Dong Yeol, and another girl has a sign that says Mun Jung Hyun. The boys do a cute thing where they all “shoot hearts” at the audience but we don’t see them each introduce himself by name. 

The G-team introduces itself by saying “Welcome,” each in his own language (though Ouju says it in Korean). They say they’re at the Very Nice Cafe, which, I don’t know why they do these things in Kpop in general so I have nothing to say.  

We see a girl in the audience has Ma Jing Xiang written on her hand. 

Then there’s a bit where we cover the arm wrestling they did to decide who goes first, which I cover in the master post. 

We’ll skip to 1:39:15, when we get back to the Very Nice stuff. We find out that one of the psychopath dance judges choreographed this song. Good for him. He’s a good choreographer. I wish he had the ability to demonstrate basic empathy, too, but I guess there’s only so much we can ask for from one person. 

So now that we’ve spent more time with the judges than we have with the trainees, we go directly into flashback mode. 

It’s sometime in the past, and both groups are meeting for a dance lesson with a psychopath. As such, the trainees are all terrified, not that they’ll do a bad job, but that they’ll be psychologically tortured by a crazy person. We find out that Cha Woongki and Hiroto each picked their team with “Very Nice” in mind. The judge goes fishing for compliments on his choreo as a little warm up for his psychological torture.  

The boys compliment him on his choreo, so that’s…. Fine. 

Listen, if you’re reading this recap along with the show, or before you watch the show, let me advise you that you might want to skip this segment if your mental health isn’t great, because I know that when I’m feeling a bit blue, watching someone  psychologically torture a group of vulnerable people really isn’t it, you know? And that’s what you’re about to watch.

G-group goes up first, and the teacher compliments Cong for going up from 1 star to 3 stars, but no one says anything to Ouju for going from 0 to 2 stars, which is just as impressive to me. They perform the dance, and seem to know the steps and be performing with enthusiasm. But the psycho fuckface literally laughs at them, then looks really sad. “You’re dancing isn’t just bad, it’s embarrassing. I did a lousy job with the choreography. I’m sorry. Even if you practice a lot more, I wonder if you’ll improve much.” 

Oh my GOD I could rant for HOURS about how horrifically abusive and gaslighty this shit is, but you see it already, right? That it’s not ok to say this shit? They’re still just rehearsing and they’re trying their best? They have 8 stars between the 7 of them, but they learned the song more or less. 

He gives a backhanded compliment to Hiroto, Cong, and Ouju by saying that they’ll have to help the others a lot.

Ouju interviews (in Japanese) that some members of his team weren’t really focused during rehearsals, watching the video instead of rehearsing with the team. Hiroto interviews (also in Japanese) that everyone was being selfish. So, after their horrible, unnecessarily cruel beat-down, they regroup and talk about how they need to focus -- don’t look at Group K, just focus on themselves.  Ma Jing Xiang says he wants to practice by himself, and Hiroto points out that they really need to be a team. (He’s speaking Korean the whole time, but it’s funny how with what must be his Japanese accent, my brain keeps thinking it’s Japanese, even though I hear Korean words in the mix.) Ichika adds in his freakishly perfect American-accent English, “Trust each other and care for each other.” Apparently, Ichika is half Korean and half Japanese and can speak both languages, along with English, Chinese, Tagalog and Thai. He must be some sort of language savant. 

Side note: It bugs me how they give both groups one shared room to rehearse in. Could they really not find any other rooms? Are there not 7 more rooms in that giant building?

So the G-group continues to rehearse, and begins to show improvement in their synchronization -- enough so that the K-group begins to worry! 

We move forward to their dress rehearsal, and again get a flashback to psycho teacher’s cruelty. This is flashback within a flashback to something we saw literally 3 minutes ago -- thanks, MNET. Ouju is traumatized and scared of being scolded again -- so he can’t even enjoy this experience. We, the viewer, watch and think they look good, and the K-group thinks we look good, but no one can exhale until Psycho Asshole compliments their improvement. Then all the judges compliment Cong’s singing, which really should be the main story here. Who knew Cong could sing so well? Hint: I did. I knew that. I said so in my first review. 

Here’s their full performance on Youtube, if you’d like to see it without constant interruption. 

Cong starts off strong with some strong singing, and Ichika sings mostly fairly decently, and Ma Jing Xiang poses and raps a bit and so does Hiroto, so far so good. Then my li’l duckie Ouju sings, and his voice is on key and has a pleasant sound, except that it cracks over and over. Oh no!! Ouju! That is the voice of an untrained singer who has been singing too much. I wish the vocal teachers would give them advice on how to take care of their voices in general. But Ouju’s facial expressions and dancing are, to me, great. Am I biased? Maybe? Yuki is cute, though he looks kind of lost on stage, and Hiroto has a decent falsetto actually. 

And holy shit, Wen Ye Chen sounds awful but looks great. He’s giving off big time Jackson Wang vibes -- is it just me? Do I just have Jackson on the brain? I’m not saying they look identical or anything, but just that they have a similar “look”. 

I mean, I don’t think he should debut, but maybe he should go into acting (if he can act) or modeling, if he doesn’t already do those things. Or take a LOT of singing lessons. 

I didn’t want to watch the aired version, because I assumed they were going to play and replay and replay my duckie Ouju’s cracking. But they actually don’t -- they’re remarkably kind.

 In the edit everyone reacts to Cong’s excellent singing, making him look even better. After Wen Ye Chen’s pretty bad singing, they show the audience reacting to his handsomeness. I also noticed that MNET edited it so you don’t see Yuki looking lost. All in all, it was a fairly gentle edit, I have to say. 

When it’s over, the judges praise Hiroto, and talk about Ouju’s issues with a bit of compassion. Ouju interviews that he’s proud of his team.

At 1:50:20, the K-group comes back out, and then we head into a flashback. We’re back at the same dance rehearsal where the psychopath viciously attacked the G-group. It becomes clear that the drama is going to be that mostly about our red house, Jung Min Gyu, who doesn’t really know the steps or the lyrics, and runs out of breath so badly he can’t deliver his rap even if he did know the words. The edit also tells us that my little muffin Mun Jung Hyun is struggling with the vocals, but he doesn’t sound too bad to me -- like maybe a quarter tone flat, but I mean, he’s close. Lee Dong Yeol, the only 1 star (in yellow), is struggling with his vocals a lot more. 

When they’re done, instead of coming down on them as if they tortured his mother to death, he laughs sort of at them, and sort of with them. I guess they were just soooo much better than G-group at this rehearsal, even though no one in G-group outright couldn’t get the words out. He calls out Mingyu for his lack of breath control, then he tells Mun Jung Hyun that his singing ruins it, and I don’t get it. I have a decent ear and it really doesn’t sound that bad to me. I feel like I’m in the Twilight Zone. Like, sure, he’s a bit flat but it doesn’t stand out to me at all. A lot of trainees are flatter than that when they sing and get praised so this seems so random. The fuckface goes so far as to tell them that they should switch positions. What the fuck? We see that in a vocal lesson, Solji praised his singing when he was standing still, but apparently he can’t sing while dancing.

Fast forward to more practice and as my little muffin Junghyun tries again and again to hit the notes, he sounds worse and worse, because he’s wearing out his throat. It would be better to rest his voice than to sing it over and over. 

At the interim group check -- where apparently all of the trainees watched each other perform and gave each other feedback -- we see that everyone is shocked by Yoo Seung Eon’s vocals (why? He sang that well in the audition, you dumb dumbs), but it’s clear that JungHyun‘s voice has gotten even worse. REST YOUR THROAT!! And Dongyeol doesn’t sound great either, but he never did. 

Turns out all the trainees said that JungHyun’s vocals were a problem, so he suggests that  Dongyeol, who, may I note, is much worse, take the part. His team doesn’t jump on that idea, so there is talk of maybe giving it to Seo Won, who says he can try his best if they want him to, but that he can’t guarantee he’ll do any better. You guys, I love Seo Won. I want to have tea and a nice gossip session with him. He seems like a fucking hoot. 

Junghyun’s team encourage him to keep the part and just try to improve his condition (health). Poor little muffin isn’t sure, and says he feels a lot of pressure right now (whenever a Korean translation says “pressure”, replace it with the word “stress”). 

We cut to the dress rehearsal, and poor little muffin Junghyun sounds worse than ever. He can’t hold the note. It must be a combination of nerves and him scraping his throat raw with over-rehearsing. ARRRRRRGHHHH. The judges can’t believe it. 

Poor Junghyeon has fallen on the sword, taking on a part no one in his group can sing (except Seung Eon, who has to stay on main vocal). So Junghyeon has to keep the part and do a not-great job and get attacked for it. 

The performance starts. Here’s the full cam if you want to watch it without interruptions. 

Overall, it was cute -- I mean, any decent performance of this song is going to be fun to watch because the song itself is so great, and the performance is at least decent. Obviously, Yoo Seung Eon does a fanfuckingtastic job and I’m so glad that he’s getting some spotlight time. Mun Junghyeon really tries, and it’s much better than in rehearsal. He actually hits a lot of the notes, and there are some lines that come out fine, but he does crack quite audibly many times, poor kid.  The rappers do their thing; I don’t know, it doesn’t sound great to me but I seem to be alone in thinking that. Seo Won sounds nervous but has a cute smile. Cha Woong Ki in the hat is pretty off key. I guess he’s cute, but not in a way that appeals to me personally. Jung Min Gyu does the robot I guess, and that’s cute. 

Poor Mun Jung Hyun. He looks sad in his ending fairy, even.  But if anything, this shows that he has vocal potential, as long as he sings something in more of a baritone range. 

My take:

It’s actually hard to pick a team that I think did better. I guess K takes it by a hair, but it’s not as if it’s a blow out or anything. 

Voting:

At 2:01:30, both teams come up on stage. We see in the audience that people are holding up signs for Jiho and Woongki. The audience votes for the one person who did the best, and then the teams each go back to their segregated waiting room to find out who did best. How awful this all is. 

Yoo Seung Eun beats Cong by a landslide. 

He can barely believe it. I’m so happy for him, but so sad for Cong! Oh man, I’m no good at competitions. I want everyone to win and that’s not possible. Poor G group is heartbroken. They don’t get many votes. Here’s the full break down. 

Main Vocal: 

Yoo Seung Eon  248

Cong 30

Sub vocal 1:

Mun Junghyeon 29 

Ichika 3

Sub vocal 2:

Seo Won  76

Ouju  19

Main Rapper

Jang Jiho   10

Ma Jing Shiang 87

Sub Rapper 1

Lee Dongyeol  49

Yuki  30 

Sub vocal 3:

*Cha Woongki* (also killing part)  79

Wen Ye Chen  21

Sub Rapper 2:

Jung Mingyu 39

*Hiroto* (also killing part) 53

Total: 

K: 530

G: 243 

In other words, Yoo Seung Eon alone beat all of G team. And really, no one in K embarrassed himself; Jang Ji Ho gets only 10 votes -- I assume one came from that girl in the audience holding a sign with his name on it -- but he seems ok with it.

Meanwhile, on team G, it’s just… so sad. They’re hurt for Cong, because it’s not as if Seung Eon was eight times better than him to deserve eight times the points. And they’re hurt for themselves too. Poor Ichika, getting only 3! He seems like a sweet, upbeat person -- I guess being an idol isn’t quite for him, but I hope he finds something to do with his life that makes him happy. Ma Jing Xiang hangs his head sadly for getting 87 votes, almost like he’s embarrassed. Aww, you got the most votes on your team and you can’t even enjoy it because you’re sad for your teammates. What a bummer for them. I don’t want to screen cap their misery. 🙁 

And that ends my recap of this part of the show. 

Click here to return to the main recap, or click here to go on to Kill This Love, the next song (coming soon!).

[valssom]

seowon doodles because i dont know how else i can promote him uhhh

[wonsohl]

say my name! 🌊 han yujin

synopsis: yujin x f!reader , white day episode , f!reader and yujin get together

you walk in to school 20 mins before other kids come in, your uncle was the vice principal of the school and would drop you off at school in the morning everyday.

you rush down the corridor and go into your home room.

unpacking your bag eagerly you lay out a chocolate carton and letter on anonymous table.

holding the letter dearly near your heart, you place it on your desk and run away with your bag unzipped, which was your biggest mistake.

you meet up with your friend before going inside school near the cafe.

you check your phone ;

8:17am

giving you and your fiend enough time to grab a takeaway ice coffee.

when you arrive to your homeroom, you notice a big crowd around yujin’s desk.

it felt like finally noticed your presence.

then you noticed your friend, ahyeon staring at you.

she whispers,

“look who is blushing” she says whilst pinching your cheeks.

you realise the heat on your cheeks and run out of class.

but then you bump it yujin and his group.

🤦🏻‍♀️ so cliche for what?..

you quickly look at him and run to the bathroom splashing cold water on your face burning down the heatness of your face.

“y/n!” ahyeon calls out chasing you to the bathroom.

“you made it so obvious!, he probs knows you like him!” she says hitting you on the head.

“sorry sorry, but it’s better he knows and can just reject me so i can move on!” you say patting your brushed head after ahyeon’s hitting.

you got back to class to see everybody has calmed down and went back to their own groups.

luckily no one stares at you or anything, except yujin.

from the corner of your eyes you can see him examining you.

then your teacher comes in, quieting down the class after the hectic crowds over yujin’s table.

during lesson you could feel yujin still staring at you with his big doe eyes.

and to be honest , you felt so happy knowing the guy whom you had admired for over a year has now finally embraced you?

after the bell rang ahyeon was already gone as she had to go to a badminton competition with a few other of your classmates leaving you alone.

you didn’t have any real friends other than ahyeon and everybody in your class already had their own friend groups.

so you took out your phone and went through your socials that’s until you found a shadow right in front you.

now, out of all the possible people who it could’ve been, it was yujin.

“so uhm, it was you?”

crap.

he caught you and you were done for good.

“haha, yes it was.”

then there was an awful silence.

a very PAINFUL silence.

“it’s ok, if you don’t like me back,

i undertand-“

then yujin hands you his name tag

both hands and eye closed whilst looking down.

“please y/n?, just this once”

you smiled taking the name tag off the boys hands who was scared for his dear life.

“yes yujin, i love you to”

now like was a very strong word, but love?

you officially took his young heart forever to keep.

he looked up blushing.

and with that,

you and yujin were always found together, hand by hand everyday every time.

“happily ever after”

- hvnyujiq 🫂

(giving your name tag in s.korea is like a confession, if you see the ‘say my name’ performance, you would see the members giving their name tags to the star creators as a confession! that’s what gave me the idea for this fic! always leave request in the comments :) don’t be afraid!)

[greendragon-13]

ONE PACT 원팩트 '좋겠다' MV

Everyone go listen to One Pact's debut. This is the only post Boys Planet album that's a no skip for me. An amazing self produced 5th gen debut

[univerxebxrry]

So I wake up and go on Youtube to watch some yt videos and this is the first thing I see

My ears have been blessed and this made my day, my week even

If I could marry someone's voice, I would marry his voice cause it's just so beautiful like-

Now I just need him to cover Jelly Pop

[crownmaru]

Metallic Chrome Zerobaseone Logo (ZB1)

vailable on stickers, tshirts, prints, magnets, and many more!

<Check it out here!>

[univerxebxrry]

he's seriously so fucking pretty like how can someone be this beautiful 😭

성한빈(SUNGHANBIN) - Debut Congratulatory Film

[rayliur]

Survival Shows PEAK TIME and BOYS PLANET Reveal the Harsh Reality of K-Pop

What do #PEAKTIME and #BOYSPLANET tell us about the harsh reality of #KPOP ? From Pentagon Hui's appearance on BP999 to Vanner's comeback of a lifetime on PEAK TIME, read all about it here:

This article may contain spoilers of the mentioned reality competition shows, Peak Time, Boys Planet, Queendom, and Road to Kingdom. Turning on the TV and tuning in on a K-pop reality show, the last thing I’d expect is to blow through an entire box of tissues. Since the success of K-pop idol group creation and project shows, such as Produce 101 and Girls Planet 999, along with K-pop…

[valssom]

감각 따윈 없어, no more pain 어차피 너와 나는 love or hate

LOVE KILLA SEOWON EVERYONE!!

[boysplanetrecaps]

[univerxebxrry]

Like seriously, this man is so perfect, I can't take it anymore 😭

fuck sung hanbin all my homies hate sung hanbin

I LOVE HIM SM HE'S NOT EVEN MY BIAS

[boysplanetrecaps]

On How Styling Can Change Outcomes

This post is about how styling choices affected the outcome of the Dual Position battle on Boys Planet -- click read more for my thoughts on how sex appeal matters.

So, in my final analysis of the Dual Position battles, I came to the conclusion that Zoom was one of my two favorite performances of the night (along with Limousine), and I was left to wonder why they didn't win the audience vote that night.

I came to the conclusion that they were seriously hampered by the fact that their outfits weren’t remotely sexy. Seriously, people vote with their genitals, a lot of the time, whether they know it or not. If someone gives you that sparkly feeling in your pants, it makes you want to vote for them. But the Zoom team, in their giant basketball shorts and unflattering athletic socks and gross lollipops and big, childish hats -- they were not sexy at all. 

They’re not elegant, they’re barely cute. If you met them for a date and they were dressed like that, you'd be disappointed. ::Shakes fist:: STYLIST NOONAAAAAASSSS!!!:::

Meanwhile, look at who won: Love Killa, Tomboy, and Law. 

Obviously, Love Killa is sexy. They’ve got Mr. Sexy himself as their center. They look like they’d smell like Noir de Noir by Tom Ford. 

For Tomboy, they were dressed in form fitting outfits, and General Gunwook had the gun show on display. They also wiggled around suggestively. They look like they’d smell like whiskey and Armani Code.

Law’s team were also dressed in form fitting outfits, they were grabbing their thighs, they were rapping in deep voices, and plus, they had Park Hanbin there to remind everyone that his abs are still there, right under his shirt. They look like they’d smell like new sweat and Old Spice. 

Sparkles in everyone’s pants for these teams!

But maybe not so much for Zoom. Based on their styling, they look like they’d smell like dirty laundry and Doritos.

Look at it. Keita looks like a SQUARE. Like his body is a SQUARE. Ollie, too.

Please understand -- I'm not making fun of the trainees, not at all. This is not a commentary on their appearance or bodies. I'm only talking about how they've been styled. I’m sure any of these guys could be sexy, or at least, appealing looking. Ollie and Hyunbeen might be a bit too young to be sexy-sexy-sexay, but they could do the cute kind of sexy that boy groups do. You know, like NCT doing Touch. 

Imagine Zoom, but they’re in jeans and colorful t-shirts. Like a little bit of a Gee by SNSD vibe, but more masculine. The outlines of their bodies would be clear -- no squares. Make them look like they smell like clean laundry and cookies. The vibe is that they're saying that you want to zoom in on them and take P-I-Cs of them because they're so good looking. Then they’re taking first place. Easy peasy. 

I think it’s a shame, because their performance is so much more fun than Law and so much better suited for MNET Countdown than I think any of the other performances were. 

Ok, thanks for reading!

[boysplanetrecaps]

Haruto is happy to be picked.

[boysplanetrecaps]

Boys Planet, Episode 7 Recap Part 5: Feel Special

Ok, well, I know some of you were waiting for this recap of the trainees’ cover of Feel Special by Twice… Here it is! Warning: I spend a few paragraphs talking about why I love the original song so much. But you can skip that if you’re not interested. 

I watched this whole segment before I started writing this recap, and honestly, I’m not so psyched to talk about it. It was just kind of a bummer. Part of it is because I love the original song, like, a lot. A lot a lot.

Just give me a minute here to gush about Feel Special, or if you don’t care, go ahead and skip the next few paragraphs. 

Both the lyrics and the video for Feel Special tell the story of how the friendship between the girls gives them strength to overcome the way the public views them. Jihyo is being “watched” by TVs, possibly representing how she’s in the public eye (maybe for dating someone?). Nayeon is in this cold, hard room all by herself, in this beautiful but uncomfortable outfit, maybe symbolizing the weight and coldness of being so popular. Momo feels “too big” and out of place. Jeongyeon is all alone and doubting herself. Sana feels abandoned, out in the rain, maybe a reference to when the Korean population turned on her for something innocuous she did. Mina is a sort of ice princess in an alien forest, Chaeyoung is this super modern chick in a lonely modern dome, and Tzuyu feels like just a doll.  (Dahyun is fine. Dahyun doesn’t have a problem.) 

And what happens? They SEE each other. They connect. Jihyo and Nayeon see each other. Mina and Chae rescue each other. Momo and Tzuyu find each other. Dahyun saves Sana. And Jeongyeon sees herself in a new light, as someone who can have friends after all.

This look that Chae gives Mina -- I tear up every time. If you know that Mina had just taken some time off for extreme anxiety, and if you know that this look is real, genuine look that Chae was really giving Mina -- it’s beyond touching. I never saw Chae look like that before or since in a Twice video.

So the song gives me all the feels. It also sort of reminds me of the time toward the beginning of my current relationship when I realized that someone might actually really love me and how amazing that was, like a fucking miracle. So yeah, I tear up pretty much every time I hear this song. I don’t want to lose that, you know? I like tearing up every time I hear it. It’s a happy kind of tears. I know it’s a dumb kpop song but it’s not a dumb kpop song to me. 

Because of that, I don’t want to spend too long on this performance because I don’t want to ruin the song for myself. Ok. Let’s do this. 

As a reminder, our special feelers are: 

Trainee name (rank)   Star Level test /Challenge 1 /age final star level

Cha Woong Ki (25) Bloom Bloom /Very Nice - K/ 20 ⭐⭐

Zhang Shuai Bo (36) Reveal /Back Door - G/ 21 ⭐

Lee Dong Gun (48) Criminal /Hot Sauce - K / 17 ⭐⭐

Cai Jin Xin (50) Reveal /Hot Sauce - G/ 19 🚫

When we first saw them in episode 6, they were looking at each other like this, and Cai Jin Xin was saying, “I love our team,” and we were all excited for it! But a shadow loomed on the horizon, as no one seemed to want to take on a big vocal part.

So, we pick up with the team at rehearsal with the judges. 

And Zhang Shuai Bo, who up until this segment I’ve liked for no real reason, is being a passive aggressive sulky child. He’s half-assing the choreo in a really, really obvious way and pouting. 

I do not like this. 

Look, I fight so hard to not be swayed by MNET editing, but I don’t know how MNET editing could create this impression falsely. Maybe other trainees are also doing this and MNET isn’t showing it, but I can only judge what I see. If you’re unhappy, Z-Bo, then do something about it or suck it up. This passive aggressive “quiet quitting” thing ain’t it. 

I loved that Solji just stopped the rehearsal.

And then we’re reminded that this is apparently Z-Bo’s favorite song, which just makes all of this even worse. You chose this song for the wrong reasons, that’s on you, bud. But shouldn’t it be at least kind of fun performing your favorite song, no matter what? Man, if I had a chance to do a semi-pro cover of like, Automatic by Red Velvet, or The Eve by Exo, or Feel Special by Twice, with someone to teach me the choreo and let me sing it to people who are excited to be my audience? I mean, scary, but fun! 

I just keep thinking about Xuan Hao, the initially white haired center of the G-trainees’ Burn It Up team, the one who fucking werked that pink feather boa during the prank bit? You might also remember the way he collapsed into his chair to cry after his whole team was eliminated, and how MNET then dangled salvation in front of him only to let him know that he’d come in 54th.

I know that Xuan Hao would absolutely, positively, never have acted like this. If he had this opportunity, he’d make the most of it. So would've Kim Min Seoung, the super talented, backflipping member of Back Door who MNET ignored completely. Or Han Seo Bin, Park JiHoo’s partner in crime. Or Park Min Seok, the WakeOne trainee who showed his true mettle as the leader of the benighted leftovers team who did Danger. Or Park Gwan Young, who showed us his surprisingly good vocals in Burn it Up. Or determined Chen Yu Geng, or my duckie Ouju, or General Gunwook’s sergeants Jang Yeo Jun and Han Yu Seop, or genuine Hong Keon Hee, or unlucky Hyo, or good-natured Ichika, or five or ten others I could name. I am not necessarily saying that every single one of these trainees is more talented or more “deserving” of a spot on this show than Z-Bo is, but I am saying that from what we have seen of them, not one of them would half ass his choreo in front of the judges just to make a whiney point about how his part is too hard. 

They start over, and when they're done, the psycho judge tells them, “we’re fucked. This is humiliation. Letting you go up on stage like this will be a humiliation for you guys, me, and Boys Planet.”

Weirdly, this is the first time I think I’ve ever seen this judge just say what was on his mind in a genuine, almost vulnerable way. He doesn’t look like he’s specifically trying to make them feel bad -- I think he almost doesn’t care about them at this point. I think he is actually thinking about his job responsibilities and how he’s going to have to get some wheels turning to make sure that their performance can even be aired. In other words, he’s annoyed at them because they are going to cause extra work for him. That’s just my take.

Solji does have a specific, useful piece of feedback, which is that they aren’t supposed to just be doing a straight up cover -- they’re supposed to be putting their own spin on it and showing their own charms. But, as Woongki interviews, they haven’t made any of their own choreo because no one on the team knows how to, and, presumably, because the group leader hasn’t pushed them to do it.

Cai Jin Xin wears the L sticker on his shirt, but other than that, I see no evidence that he’s the leader. Woongki is the one giving pep talks and doing most of the work. He also isn’t really complaining about it in his interviews. 

That’s not to say that CJX is being a terrible teammate. You can see that he’s invested in doing his best. Also, he’s providing free translation service for Z-Bo, who, unlike, say, 15 year old Takuto, has apparently not learned a word of Korean this whole time. 

Side note on that: Languages are hard, and some of us are worse at them than others, and we can’t possibly all be fluent in all languages. But I’ve traveled a lot and been to places where I know only a few words in the local language, and most of the time, people just are glad I tried to say a few words. Just a hello in Khmer or Thai or Greek before switching to English, and I'm rewarded with huge smiles. That’s all most people want -- just to know that you give a shit enough to try. It would seem so different if Z-Bo were just trying a little. Most of the other trainees are learning some Korean, even just an extremely basic pigeon Korean that is probably mostly nouns and unconjugated verbs. Cong speaks in one-word and two-word sentences a lot, and he's mostly understood. Many of the foreign trainees took the time to memorize a Korean speech for the elimination ceremony. Others spoke in their native language but added a Korean phrase or two, like a kamsamnida. What I'm saying is, it doesn’t make Z-Bo a bad person that he hasn’t learned Korean, but it makes him stand out as uniquely unwilling to try.

Anyway, back to CJX. You can tell he’s trying to do his best on the song, but he just feels lost. Same with Lee Dong Gun, who is completely willing to sing, just not really… able. 

But Z-Bo can't sing the song in the high key, and when the team tries transposing the song down, he barely tries to find the note he'd have to sing. It really seems obvious that he just doesn’t want to do it. It’s really not a good look. Again, I am trying so hard to look for how this could just be editing, but I can’t see any way it could be. 

Woongki ends up stepping up to not only choreograph the whole piece, but also sing the hardest part that Z-Bo can't, or won't, sing.

Later on that night, Z-Bo is hanging out with CJX in their dorm room, and they're talking to each other in Chinese. (That’s fine, by the way. I’d probably revert to my native language when I was alone with someone who spoke it.) But he’s using the opportunity to speak Chinese to say things that maybe he doesn’t want people to hear him saying.

First, Z-Bo refers to Woongki by aiming his foot toward the bed Woongki sleeps in and saying “he”, rather than calling him by his name. That’s what you do when you don’t know someone’s name. Look, maybe I’m wrong and maybe the translations are misleading or something, but if he doesn’t know Woongki’s name at this point, that’s fucked up. And to point with your foot? I think that's rude in any culture, but I think it's even worse in Asian cultures. I might be wrong.

Then Z-Bo says, “If things don’t work out, the production team will help us out for sure. They won’t let the four of us stand on stage staring into space.”  I have no way to know whether or not that’s true, but to express that thought out loud shows a depth of entitlement that I have no wish to plumb. I mean, he is probably tired and all that, but this wasn’t just a stray thought with no precedent in his other behavior -- this is the apex of everything he’s said and done recently. Somehow both a depth and an apex, I guess. 

A few days later at dress rehearsal, the judges are aigoo-ing most of their vocals and general ineptitude. When they’re done, Master Lee, who often delivers the best and most well deserved smack downs on this show, says,

“I’m curious. As you practice, don’t you realize, ‘we’re not good enough’ and think it through?... What do you do at those times? Think ‘time will resolve it,’ is that it? Or think, ‘since the camera only captures the major parts, we’ll just skip through these,’ is that it? Is that what you’re thinking? The Star Creators will be coming and the whole world will be watching you. If you’re not prepared, don’t you get nervous? Even if we give you solutions to the problem, would they get fixed?” 

Then after their feedback, Z-Bo rants to CJX in Chinese, inches away from Woongki and Dongyeol and just counting on them not to understand him. He says, “This was to be expected. He (and he points to Woongki) didn’t tell us what the choreography was about and we never agreed to it.” You can SEE him pointing. I don’t know how else to interpret this. 

And MNET comes through with the receipts, running a clip to show Woongki explaining the meaning of the song and choreography. Hoo boy. I guess that Z-Bo might just not have understood, but I assume that CJX would have translated. 

By the way, I’m not blaming CJX here. I’ve been in his shoes -- a popular person wanted to gossip with me about someone and I didn’t really know what to do. When someone like that wanted to gossip with me, I felt like, CHOSEN, you know? They’re telling ME this stuff, so they must like me. I’m on the inner circle now! They like me better than the person they’re talking about! Of course, since then, I’ve learned that (a) if I agree with anything they say, they’re likely to go tell that person that I said bad things about them (b) if they’re talking shit about them to me, they’re also talking shit about me to them, 100% of the time.

So, nowadays I know what to do -- I say, in a really pleasant voice, “I can totally understand how you’d feel that way, but I like [person] and don’t really want to talk about them when they’re not around. Let’s talk about [topic] instead.” Usually they say something defensive, like “I wasn’t gossiping” or something, and I let them off the hook, saying, “of course not, everyone talks about everyone sometimes, it’s normal, don’t worry,” and then plunge into the new topic. Sometimes if it’s someone I don’t know well, I pretend that it was my New Year’s Resolution to not gossip. Like, I blame it on myself that I don’t want to participate -- not that there’s anything wrong with them, it’s me who is being the weirdo. 

So yeah, I’m not blaming CJX. He seems a bit uncomfortable with Z-Bo’s comments and we never see him adding anything. He just doesn’t know how to get out of the situation he’s in. 

Anyway. 

True to Z-Bo’s prediction, production does in fact step in a little, giving them an extra vocal lesson with Master Lee and an extra dance practice with LipJ. You get the sense that these appointments were definitely not originally scheduled -- they’re held in weird small rooms we’ve never seen before or since.

Meanwhile, poor Woongki interviews that his ranks have been dropping the whole time, from 10 down to 34 at the most recent announcement, and he’s worried. “If this doesn’t work out this is the end for me.” Surely not, Woongki. Awww. 

I also feel sorry for Lee Dong Gun, who is only 17 and is actually a decent dancer. He’s just not much of a singer, poor kid.

So we go to the performance. 

That link is actually to Woongki’s fan cam. 

My take: 

Donggun’s dancing didn’t fit the style of the choreo-- he overdanced almost every step. But bless him, he was trying.

CJX didn’t do so well, but I know he was really, really, trying too. 

Z-Bo sang kind of decently, though it was kind of unpleasantly shouty, and he had a great smile and flirty interactions with the audience. I didn’t necessarily get the sense he was trying his hardest, though.

Cha Woongki was the Jihyo, Nayeon, Dahyeon, and Sana of this performance, put together. He was also the Mina, Momo, Chaeyeong, Jeongyeon, and Tzuyu. He truly carried the team.

The editing

The editing was pretty kind. The reactions were mostly pretty good, and they didn’t zero in on small mistakes. The weak and often incorrect dancing was mostly hidden by the camera angles. 

By the way, what is with cutting to Seo Won constantly during this whole segment? Are Seo Won and Woongki besties and I missed it? Do people ship them or something because they’re both a little bit effeminate (which is dumb)? What did I miss?

The voting

The boys go to sit on the folding chairs of doom, and we find out that Z-Bo has won the fan vote with 703 votes. Most of the trainees are completely shocked, because they all expected Woongki to get it, but Woongki is a pro and rolls with it. 

Look at everyone in the background looking at each other in disbelief. That’s formerly blue haired Park Hanbin top left, doing that incredulous smiling thing he does. There’s Jay in the center, and Limousine’s Park Jihoo on the right, and Lee SeungHwan 🍑 and Bak Doha behind Jihoo. Everyone is shocked -- it’s not a K versus G thing, it’s universal. 

But Woongki manages to smile and clap. He has been a complete pro this whole time, though. He has not had a single negative word to say about Z-Bo in the confessional -- I am sure that if he’d said it, they would have used it. But he must know that Z-Bo views him with contempt. I feel certain that he picked up on it when Z-Bo would talk shit about him in Chinese just inches away. You really can feel that. It’s hard to explain, but you just know. So he almost certainly knows exactly what Z-Bo thinks of him, and he is smiling and applauding because he’s a fucking pro. 

I know that Z-Bo might have “evil edited.” I really am trying to imagine how this could have been misconstrued, but in the end I think that this wasn’t evil editing. I think it was honest-to-goodness shitty behavior. And it is extremely galling that Z-Bo won the fan vote over Woongki. 

I was talking about this with my fella, you know, the one who makes me feel special, and he said that he’s been where Z-Bo is. I guess we all have been. You know, when you’re really good at something in your personal circle, and then you go from your small pond to a big ocean and suddenly no one cares about your special talent. You can feel so lost that it changes your whole personality. And I get that, I do. I’ve been there too. But when I was like that, I was being an asshole. I see it now, and I regret it, and I’m glad that I’m more in tune with myself now where I can catch myself feeling envious or overshadowed and just give myself some time away to process. 

So, it's a human thing, and not always a sign that someone is an irredeemable jerkwad. Maybe he’s a hopelessly entitled, privileged pretty boy actively sabotaging his team out of laziness and selfishness, as he seems to be. Or maybe he’s not really that bad, and within a few weeks or months he’ll snap out of it and apologize to Woongki and strive to do better going forward. I don’t know, and neither do you.

One thing we do know is that Woongki doesn’t want us to go after Z-Bo or anyone else on his team. Look at the message he left on his fancam video (this is google translate).

In case you can’t read the comment, Woongki basically is saying that he really loves the song Feel Special by Twice-sunbaenim, and that he feels that the Star Creators are the ones who make him feel special. He then says that his whole team -- and he names them all -- worked hard, and asks you to please support the entire team and vote for them. 

So, whether Z-Bo is an entitled jerk or just a guy who is feeling scared and out of his league, let’s follow Woongki’s lead and be polite, right, fam? No death threats or anything -- we can all agree on that! I’m sure my readers already know, though. 

AAAAAAnd with that, we have finished this one! 

If you need a palette cleanser, here is a video of Exo's Kai and Twice's Momo dancing together. Yes, this is a youtube video of a tiktok being posted on tumblr. Enjoy it. 

Or go on to the next one -- "Not Spring, Love, or Cherry Blossoms."

[boysplanetrecaps]

Boys Planet: Unaired, unaddressed auditions, reviewed

Hey there. So, these are the auditions that we didn’t get to see more than maybe 1 second of, if at all. I’ll let you know what I think of them, and/or give you info to aid you if/when you watch the videos yourself on Youtube. When I give an age, it will be in the international system; when I say “currently ranked,” I mean, as of the end of Episode 1/ beginning of Episode 2. Here we go!

Attention

The performers: 

Seo Won is 22 years old and currently ranked 18.

Jang Ji Ho is 18 and currently ranked 72.

Both are in the nugu group NINE.i, which debuted in March 2022. Winnie, the Thai idol who performed in Kokobop with Nice, is also in NINE.i. 

Seo Won -- that’s his full name -- is a dancer, per kprofiles dot com, and is apparently really into makeup, so there’s that.  Jiho is a rapper and is the younger brother of Go_U from Blitzers, if you follow them. If you’re wondering, Winnie is listed as a rapper. So none of them is known as a vocalist. 

The Song: 

Attention by New Jeans, which was the song of the summer for me in 2022. Fucking love this song. I actually am not wild about most New Jeans songs but I could listen to this every day and never get sick of it. 

My take:

I love the song, and I respect what they were going for, but this performance didn’t work out. I’m evaluating them as much for the practice video as for the actual Star Level Test (SLT), because they did much better in the practice video, and we know they may have been completely exhausted during the filming of the SLT. 

One big problem in the official SLT is that they transposed it to a new key and then the boys couldn’t find the note to start with. It was all wavery and wonky. I don’t even know what note they should have started with, but not that note. I’m not even sure whose fault it is. Considering, however, that neither of them has a vocalist position in their group, I actually think they have vocal potential. 

It’s especially a bummer because I think they could have killed it if they had just started on that right note, and it looks like they were maybe doing something interesting musically. I actually really like how it sounds in the practice video -- it’s kind of cool. 

As for the dancing, Seo Won was noticeably better than Jiho. He does that body bend to “Attentionnnnnnnn” much better. His angles are sharper, he has more power and looks more comfortable on stage. 

Side note: I am super over what I guess I’ll call “Blood Sweat and Tears” style choreography in Kpop. A great example of what I’m talking about is the choreo for “Sugar Rush Ride” by TXT. Love the song, love the guys, hate most of the choreo. It’s all that shoving your arm forward, touching your body, touching each other, putting your hands over each other’s eyes, making it seem like you’re using magic to move each other’s bodies, all that shit. It was perfect in “Blood Sweat and Tears” and now I wish it would cease. More importantly, whatever they were trying to do didn’t fit the spirit of the song. It reminds me of when Lovelyz did a weird “sexy” version of Achoo for Queendom. It was a big mistake. You have to honor the lyrics of a song -- if you do a different version, there has to be a reason. 

That’s not exactly their fault, though. I bet they prepared this themselves, without any help from an agency or choreographer, and while it interfered with my enjoyment of the performance, I’m not going to ding them too hard for it. 

The judges said:

Seo Won 3 stars ⭐⭐⭐ 

Jang Ji Ho 2 stars ⭐⭐

It seems fair to me, actually.  

It’s weird because this was presented in the show’s editing as if it were terrible -- we in the audience saw Jiho getting his 2 stars, not Seo Won getting his 3 stars. MNET!!! :: shakes fist:: 

Should you watch it?  

I’d watch the practice video instead, in which they both sing so much better. If you watch it, Seo Won is in the purple and Jiho is in the gray. 

Bloom Bloom 

The performers: 

Cha Woong Ki age 20, currently ranked 10. He used to be in T01 under the name Woongi, where he held the position of “vocalist.” 

Oh Sung Min age 21, currently ranked 17. He used to be in T01 under the name Jerome, wher he held the position of “vocalist/visual”. 

They’re both signed under WakeOne, just like the team that did ATEEZ’s The Real, and the Global Team with Min, Hikaru, and Anthonny, who did Glitch Mode. They’re actually the same age as or older than all the members of The Real, but are dressed to look cuter and younger. I don’t know why. Sung Min in particular looks much better when he’s styled to look his age. 

I mean.

Quick note on T01: 

This group was the result of a survival show called World Klass and was originally known as TOO. They had some rough times and were treated really poorly by their agency, there was an agency dispute, they changed their name, etc. You just get a bad vibe from the whole thing. But TOO had potential. I think their cover of TVXQ’s Rising Sun for Road to Kingdom might be one of their finest moments. If you want to look for our two trainees, watch the bottom left corner where the singer and lyrics are shown. Sung Min’s stage name Jerome looks like this in Korean: 제롬  and Woonggi looks like this in Korean : 웅기 

Oh, and Pentagon went on Road to Kingdom, as well, which means that Hui has likely met both Woong Ki and Sung Min before, if only briefly. 

The Song: 

Aww, Bloom Bloom pow! It’s a cute song and I’ve always liked it. But like most songs by The Boyz, it’s a bit too high pitched for most boys to sing comfortably. Spoiler alert, I guess. 

My take: 

Quick reminder: Sung Min is in the suit, Woonggi is in the hat. 

They really throw themselves into it, bless ‘em, but at times I see fear in their eyes. For the first minute or so, Woonggi actually has better vocals, and then as he tires it gets worse and worse until it’s really sad. Sung Min, to his credit, executes a difficult vocal run at about 1:09 in. As for the dancing, it’s not bad, but doesn’t seem like the world’s most difficult choreo, and Woonggi gets really out of breath even though it’s only 90 seconds long. 

The judges said:

Cha Woong Ki 1 star ⭐

Oh Sung Min 2 stars ⭐⭐

Again, it seems fair to me, but pretty depressing for debuted idols who already won a reality show.

Should you watch it?

I’d say no. It made me sad. The practice video is moderately better, if you have the urge -- not nearly as cracky. If you watch the practice video, Woonggi is in pink. 

Freak

The performers: 

Han Seo Bin is ranked 70th.

Park Ji Hoo is ranked 47th. He’s the one who told Hui “I just got here!” in episode 1. He looks different here than he did there -- I guess he did his hair differently. 

Both are only 16 years old, and both are signed to H1GHR MUSIC, which is known for being focused more on rap. It’s home to Code Kunst, who basically never makes a bad song. So it makes sense that they’d rap for their audition. And it makes even more sense that JiHoo wouldn’t want to sing to Hui. 

The Song: 

I hadn’t been familiar with this song before, and it didn’t exactly catch my fancy. Sorry, Zico fans! I guess I’m more of a Loco fan. 

My take:

They’re not bad rappers, gotta say. I don’t know Korean nearly well enough to tell how good their pronunciation is, but their tone sounds ok to me. They also really threw themselves into their performance, acting out the lyrics, really going for it. 

The choreography isn’t necessarily super difficult but they make big movements and their balance is good. Seo Bin gives it more in the dance department, lifting up his legs much higher, making bigger reaches. 

The few lines they sing don’t sound great, but they’re here to rap. 

The judges said:

Han Seo Bin 4 stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐! 

Park Ji Hoo  4 stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐! 

I think I would have gone more 2-3 stars -- I’m not convinced they can sing on key, or do more difficult choreo. Maybe 2 for JiHoo and 3 for SeoBin. 

Should you watch it?  

Considering that the judges gave this 4 stars, maybe you should!

Gambler

The performer: 

Lee Ye Dam is 20 years old and is currently ranked 45. He went on the show LOUD, in which JYP and Psy both judged and picked their favorite trainees… and both of them picked him! He ended up picking Psy, and then getting eliminated in Round 7, so he did pretty well. 

He’s signed with LM entertainment, which was founded to manage former Wanna One members Yoon Jisung and Kang Daniel -- they seem interested in soloists, not boy groups, so it makes sense they’d want an all ‘rounder and that he’d audition on his own.  

The Song: 

This is the song that made me a Monbebe and was my most-played song of 2021, so…. yeah. Think it’s fair to say I love this song. If you’re not familiar with it, watch the dance practice for it -- it’s much better than live versions because one member got injured and didn’t perform live and blah blah just trust me. 

My take:

Jesus H Christ. YeDam goes out there and raps like Joohoney and then sings and dances like Shownu, all by himself. This isn’t an easy passage to rap, and this isn’t easy choreo to pull off, but he does it. Yeah, he started to run out of air here and there, he needs to work on his breath control, some notes were too high for him, but this was tough and he did amazing. Listen to the Space Council roaring with approval in the video. This was a really impressive audition. I think I would have given him 4 stars. 

The judges said:

4 stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐! Sanity reins!!! 

Should you watch it?  

Fuck yeah. 

Love Scenario

The performers: 

Choi Seung Hun is ranked 46, and at 14 years old, is the youngest in the competition. His slogan, per his intake form, is “I’m not good enough, but I’ll do my best.” He has been an actor since he was 6 years old, and has acted in around 30 drama series and 3 movies between then and now, working steadily, usually playing the young version of other characters in flashbacks.

Jeon Ho Young is ranked 81, and is 18 years old. He’s also an actor, having appeared in 4 or 5 dramas and a movie. 

The Song: 

A classic, and for a good reason. One of those songs that after you’ve heard it a few times, you almost can’t imagine a world in which this song doesn’t exist -- as if it’s always existed. 

My take:

Oh, this is really bad. Ho Young in particular looks terrified, and little Seung Hun sort of executes dance moves without actually dancing. Ho Young’s vocals are actually pretty ok, if you listen past the terror. Seung Hun’s vocals were within range of the key, which is better than some of the other auditions.

I checked out their practice video and Ho Young’s vocals are much better there, enough for me to feel like 3 stars wouldn’t have been insane. But their dancing and performance is still quite stilted, especially for little Seung Hun. 

The judges say: 

Little Choi Seung Hun gets 1 star ⭐, and I agree completely. Like obviously not ready to debut, but not 100% hopeless.  

Jeon Ho Young gets 2 stars ⭐⭐, and again, fair. Someone who has displayed some skill acquisition in progress, though they are equally not ready to debut. 

Should you watch it?  

No, don’t bother, unless maybe you know them from their dramas. 

Lullaby

The performers: 

Jung Ho Jin turned 20 on Feb 27 of 2023, and is ranked 48th. His hobbies include eating and talking, and he used a ton of exclamation points on his intake form.

Kim Min Hyuk is 23, and ranked a sad 90th out of 93. He likes learning new things. 

Park Gwan Young is 22 years old and ranked 61st. He was on another survival show called Stars Awakening, and made it close to the end. His motto is, in English, “4 Seasons Boy 4 You!” 

*Jo Eun Woo* is 18 and has already left the show. I think he left really early in the process, so we don’t even have info on his initial star ranking. 

The Song: 

Possibly my favorite GOT7 song, or at least, quite high on the list. Check it out if you’re not familiar. There is actually a decently non cringey English version, too. 

My take:

Jung Ho Jin in the blue shirt was, to my eyes, a pretty good dancer. Decent footwork, good angles, I don’t know, it looked good to me. He had a maniacal grin the whole time, and I think he’d do well to dial that back, but I’ll take that over stone face. He also mouthed along when he wasn’t singing, which I guess isn’t unheard of in Kpop but I disapprove of it. His singing was very weak. I’d give him maybe 2 stars, mainly for the dancing. 

Kim Min Hyuk did ok, I think. He hit that first note perfectly, and a lot of the time he sounded ok, though fell a bit flat when he was dancing harder. He also took the term “ad lib” seriously and didn’t hit exactly the same ad libs as the original song had, which I don’t hate, but maybe the judges did, no way to know. His dancing seemed good to me. His biggest problem is I don’t think he smiled once -- he looked miserable. 

Park Gwan Young has the most stage presence, and looked like he was actually having fun performing. His singing was in the vicinity of the key most of the time and sometimes actually on it. His dancing and footwork looked good to me, though again I’m not the best judge of that. Arguably the best in the group. Maybe his experience being on another survival show before helped him feel more comfortable than the others. 

The judges say 

Jung Ho Jin in the blue shirt earns 1 star ⭐. Enh, I see why. 

Kim Min Hyuk with the actual adlibs earns 2 stars ⭐⭐ , which seems basically fair. 

Park Gwan Young with the not terrible singing earns 2 stars ⭐⭐ . Yeah, fair. He needs to work on his pitch. 

Should you watch it?

I wouldn’t bother.   If you prefer, you can check out their practice video -- they’re more relaxed and rested in that and their vocals are much better. I mean, based on that video I might have given Park Gwan Young three stars (he’s wearing a tie in the practice video). He’s got a charm to him, actually. 

Maniac

The performers: 

Haru is 17 and is ranked 53rd. He’s not signed with any agency, and claims to be good at vocal mimicry. 

Riku is 18 and is ranked 93rd, aka, last. He’s also not signed with an agency, and his motto is “I will charm you with a lovely figure.” 

The Song: 

It’s not my favorite Stray Kids song, and I feel like it’s a tough choice for an audition song, because no one can do Felix’s deep parts but Felix (or maybe Wyatt from ONF?). But they probably didn’t choose it.

My take:

Neither of them hit the vocals quite right, though Haru was a lot closer. Both of them were better at rapping than singing. I actually think their dancing wasn’t bad, and they did seem to commit to the performance pretty well. I can see why this wasn’t aired -- it wasn’t nearly bad enough to be funny, but not good enough to be actually good. 

Judges say: 

Haru is given ⭐⭐2 stars.

Riku is given ⭐1 star.

That seems fair. I might have given them both 2 stars, but Riku’s pitch was a bit too shaky perhaps.  

Should you watch it?  

Enh, maybe, I don’t know, probably not. If you want to watch it, you may have to search for “스타 레벨 테스트 maniac” to find it. (that says “star level test.”) 

UN Village 

The performer: 

Wumuti is 23 years old and ranked 49th. He’s been on a ton of reality shows before this -- 3 Chinese ones and 1 Korean one (Under 19 -- one source says he withdrew early, but someone else says he made it to the end, I'll be honest and say I don't know).  Here’s a promo photo from one of his early appearances, and no, I have no idea what he’s wearing. 

The Song: 

I’m an EXO fan so of course I love Baekhyun, but this song was never my favorite. I don’t have a good reason why. It’s fine, just didn’t stay long on my playlist. 

My take:

Wumuti says in his intake form that this is one of his favorite songs, and it was an ambitious choice. It’s a difficult song to sing, and he does a decent job with it, considering. His vocal color isn’t nearly as thick and distinct as Baekhyun’s is, so his performance will never compare favorably to the original. He also has trouble with some of the highest notes. However, I appreciate that he held a real microphone and tried to show his vocal abilities. There wasn’t enough dancing for me to evaluate, really, but I get the sense he at least has rhythm. 

Judges say:

2 stars ⭐⭐. I think they may have dinged him for his lack of dancing, because I think these vocals should have earned him 3 stars. He does a bit untrained -- I wonder how good he could be if he can work with Solji and the other vocal trainer and learn how to support his higher notes. He also needs to work on his vocal agility (ability to move through many different notes in a row). 

Should you watch it?  

I think so. He’s pretty good.

Veil 

The performer: 

Wang Zi Hao, from China. He’s 21 years old and ranked 29th. He claims his specialty is Krump.

The Song: 

Lay, as a sorta-member of EXO, has all my support. He’s charming and multi talented. This song doesn’t quite catch my fancy, I’m sorry to say, but I could see how someone else would like it. 

My take:

First off, can we put a hard pause on head to toe black shiny leather? Sigh. 

Zi Hao is a big fan of Lay, which makes sense, and you can see why he wanted to do this song. Still, it was an interesting choice of song for an audition, because it’s in a mixture of English and Chinese. I think it *should* be ok for a trainee to audition in a language other than Korean, but you very rarely see it. (It’s possible he sang in English the whole time -- I’ll be honest, I wasn’t sure.) His vocals seemed pretty pitchy to me. I think the dancing was good --  his movements were big and sharp and confident.

Judges say: 

3 stars ⭐⭐⭐ That seems high to me because of his vocals, but he was on key some of the time, so I guess they were a little kind. 

Should you watch it? 

I’d say probably not, but I won’t warn you away from it or anything.

Who

The performers: 

Lee Dong Yeol is 24 and currently ranked 26th.

Lee Hwan Hee is also 24, and ranked 38th. 

Both are members of a relatively nugu group called Up10tion; Dongyeol goes by Xiao and is the lead dancer, while Hwanhee uses his real name and obviously is the main vocalist. You’ll hear his Baekhyun-eseque vocals all through their tracks -- in the way that some groups have a “face of the group,” he’s the voice of this group. You probably don’t know their fantastic song SpinOff, but you should, it’s good. 

UP10TION debuted in 2015, under T.O.P Media, home to TeenTop (check out “To You,” find a dance version) and MCND (Check out ‘Crush.’ I swear, it grows on you). UP10TION, as the name implies, was once a 10-member boy group. Several of their members have terminated their contracts with T.O.P., but a few of those stayed with the group anyway, so there are 7 members active now. However, apparently a bunch more will see their contracts expire in March of 2023, so the timing here is pretty obvious. 

(Side-note: When will K-Pop agencies learn not to put the number of members in the title of the group? Imagine if Exo had been called like, Exo-12. Sigh.) 

The Song: 

Enh? It's obviously trying for that quirky, stripped down sound, but it’s so stripped down as to be just that bit boring for me. I can see why they’d want to do a song originally performed by a duo, but with this song, there’s nowhere to hide, vocally. It doesn’t suit Hwanhee’s voice, either, for some reason. He sounds best when he belts. 

My take:

This made me really sad. I would like to believe that Hwanhee can do so much better, because I love his studio vocals, and I know how tired and stressed they’d have to be. But it sounds so strained and painful. And then Dong Yeol sounds like… well, it sounds like he better be a really, really good dancer. Luckily he is. Neither was very presentational -- it was like watching a dance practice, not a performance. It really seems obvious that that bit in the choreo where one sort of tickles the other one on the chin, that’s the “killing part.” And during that killing part, Dong Yeol doesn’t actually touch Hwanhee. Look, I don’t care about skinship or whatever, I care about committing to the performance. Either do that move all the way, or don’t do that move if you’re uncomfortable touching each other.

The Judges say: 

Lee Dong Yeol gets 2 stars ⭐⭐ 

Lee Hwan Hee gets 3 stars  ⭐⭐⭐

Yeah, I think that is actually pretty fair. 

Should you watch it?  

Probably not. If you do want to, it’s really hard to find when you search for it, so you can use this link. It’s not that it’s atrocious or anything, but I just have to believe they could have done better -- or maybe they can’t, and that’s sad too. 

And on that somber note, we draw this to a close! Hope you’ve been finding this all useful and/or fun so far. 

Click here to go to first half of the ep 2 recap.

Click here to go to the second half of the ep 2 recap.

[boysplanetrecaps]

Boys Planet Episode 6, Part 1 Recap

Alright, let’s cover Episode 6 with my usual mix of commentary, thoughts, analysis, reminders, screen caps, and silliness. 

By the way, I’m trying to keep my page a safe place to visit (or follow) even if you’re way behind-- I’ll make sure there are no spoilers above the “read more”. 

If you want to jump to my take on one of the songs click below:

Gang and Zoom

Home and Love Killa

Law and Man in Love

Rush Hour

Limousine

Feel Special

Not Spring

Butterfly

Tomboy

We start at 45 seconds in with a partial ranking, including votes so far (no distinction is made between K and G votes, or if these have already been blended using MNET math). Since 28 is the new cut off, this range may be of interest to us Star Creators. Here’s what they tell us, and I threw in their mission song and their rank as of the elimination in the previous episode:

24 Lee Seung Hwan Danger 507,3381   (20)

25 Cai Jin Xin Hot Sauce 419,853  (50) 

26 Ollie Hot Sauce 405,996  (28)

27 Hiroto Very Nice 389,175  (21)

28 Ma Jing Xiang Very Nice 366,570 (32)

29 Lee Jeong Hyeon LMR 349,008 (39)

30 Mun Jung Hyun Very Nice 336,421 (23)

31 Anthonny LMR 285,564  (19)

32 Jung Min Gyu Very Nice 266,096 (27)

None of the top 18 from the previous ranking has fallen into this range (though for all we know they could have fallen further, though it seems unlikely). Most of them are roughly where they were before, though the biggest story is definitely Cai Jin Xin, who was 50th at the first elimination and has jumped to 25th. It’s also worth noting that Anthonny has fallen from 19th to 31st -- kind of a big fall in context. 

Next, we can skip past the intro and recap to 1:39. The trainees are gathering to talk about their feelings… sort of. Because really this is a prank, and the staff has this woman made up to look like a scary ghost appear in front of them, and then when they run backward, a man in an obvious mask rush at them from behind. I don’t really love pranks, so I’ll focus on stuff I do enjoy: 

I like how the boys seem to be sitting in sort of random groups, not all K or all G, and they seem comfortable with each other. I hate the K-G competition stuff, and I’m so glad they do too. Like, I worry about the world and how we’re getting along with each other as a planet and stuff like this makes me feel a little better, that the basic spirit of empathy and friendship prevails even when MNET tries to drive a wedge between them.

Haruto is wearing a tiara. 

3. The mask the monster is wearing looks like it cost $3.99 at Family Dollar and I’m kind of here for it

4. Park JiHoo barely reacting to it, saying, “I told you, they totally would do this! They had to do scary stuff!” Ok, Park JiHoo, you just won me over. 

5:02 in, the episode actually starts! 

The boys all come in, and now they’re all wearing simple long sleeved white t-shirts that either say K or G, along with name tags that have their rank and name on them. I’m going to reproduce their current name and ranks here, so if at any time you are feeling like “who is that?” you can consult the list. They’re all wearing name tags with their numbers on them, so it’ll be easy enough, I hope! 

The white shirts don’t look good on any of them. Also, they all look tired. They’ve been instructed by the producers to wonder aloud about who the new star master will be (I assume). Kim Tae Rae is hoping it’ll be Hyolyn (from Sistar), and I mean, yes? That’d be great. 

But it’s Huta (Lee Minhyuk) from BTOB! A lot of the trainees seem really overwhelmed, especially Cha Woongki, who is freaking out, Kermit-meme style. For the record,  BToB debuted in 2012, and Huta was born in 1990. I liked his song “Ya” a few years back. He also has a song called “Boom” that I’d never heard but it’s got a great pre-chorus. He likes to go shirtless sometimes, and it seems like the people like it, judging by the “most played” sections of his videos. Side note: BTOB is signed under Cube, which is the same agency that Hui and his group Pentagon are from, so Huta is probably a sunbae/hyung to Hui. They don't seem to greet each other, though, so who knows.

Huta checks in with international sweetheart, Sung Hanbin, about how he feels about being ranked first place (“It made me think I should work harder from now on!”) and then checks in with Jeong I-chan, ranked 52nd, about how he feels barely having made it (“I’ll work harder from now on!”). Huta tells them all, basically, to never give up, or something, and they’re all touched. Now that everyone has decided to work harder, let’s give them a challenge!

Side note: Jeong I-chan seems to be in a better headspace now than he was at the elimination ceremony, so that’s good. 

Huta reveals the challenge: A Dual Position Battle. 

For the “Vocal & Rap” performances, they have to rearrange a song and write new raps.

For the “Vocal & Dance” performances, they have to rearrange the song and come up with their own choreography.  

For the “Rap & Dance” performances, they have to write a new rap and come up with new choreography. 

Considering that very few of these performers are likely to know how to do any of these skills, this is going to be a challenge. It’s especially cruel to expect non-native speakers of Korean to write a rap in Korean -- I wonder if they’re allowed to write a rap in English, if they speak that? Enough raps in K-pop songs are 50%+ in English that it wouldn't be unrealistic for them to write in English. I mean, risky risky wiggy wiggy this is an emergency, you know? 

Huta says, “the dual position battle will also be a battle between K and G,” and they’re all like SELMA???? (REALLLY??????) Huta doesn’t even have the heart (or cue-card reading skills) to drag out the joke, and almost immediately tells them that no, he was just kidding -- they can completely ignore the K/G divide from now on. They are all super happy to hear that. I’m happy, too!

The songs are:

Vocal & rap:

Tomboy, originally by G-Idle; Limousine originally by BE’O, which I admit I wasn't familiar with; Man in Love originally by Infinite, which came out in 2013 and I’m not familiar with; and Not Spring, Love, or Cherry Blossoms, originally by High4 and IU. 

They’re all super excited for Tomboy, which was a massive hit. The older trainees remember Man in Love, but the younger ones have never even heard of it.  

Vocal & Dance

Butterfly, originally by BTS; Feel Special originally by Twice; Love Killer originally by Monsta X; Home by Seventeen

At the announcement of the Twice song, Cha Woongki starts doing the choreo, and Seo Won says, “are you ready for the group of queens?” which is important foreshadowing. You guys, I am not going to speculate on anyone’s sexuality, especially since in Korea, being gay is still considered a mental illness by many, but I will say that a lot of guys on this show are surprisingly comfortable with their feminine side, and I’m here for it! Zhang Shai Bo is losing it, since Feel Special is his favorite song of all time, and I mean, same. 

Love Killer is also my favorite song of all time. It was my ring tone for a long time until my fella got sick of my phone saying “Oh, I’m sorry, did I make you anxious?” every time someone tried to reach me about my car's extended warranty. 

Side note: Krystian seems to have redone his hair a bit, dying it a bit darker and dying his eyebrows brown again, and it looks miles better. I’m glad to see it. 

Rap & Dance

Law by Yoon Mi Rae and Bibi; Rush Hour by Crush; Zoom by Jessi; and Gang by H1ghr music. 

The trainees are overwhelmed at the idea of trying to improve on a song by Bibi, which is the correct way to feel, since Bibi is a goddess who walks amongst us. Rush Hour was already sung by Jay and Kamden in the Star Level Test, and no one wants to compete with Jay’s vocals. 

At the reveal of Zoom, Takuto says, IN KOREAN, to Haruto, “I like this song so much I set it as my morning alarm.” Two things: Takuto, you learned a lot of Korean! His pronunciation sounds good to me, not that I’m the best judge, but yeah. He could be speaking Japanese to Japanese-speaking Haruto, but he’s choosing Korean -- that’s big. Also, Takuto likes Jessi? That’s a relief, because I can’t take someone who is all aegyo all the time. 

My little cousin Kum Jung Hyeon says he’ll never do Gang, never-never-cherlte-cherlte, so you know he’ll end up doing it. 

At 15:10 in, Huta begins to explain how song selection will work, and basically, it’s this -- the lowest ranked people go first, and choose a song, but if someone higher ranked wants to push them out, they can. If you get pushed out, you have to go to a song that has room in it. Unlike in previous seasons, the arrival of a newer person doesn’t automatically kick out the lowest ranked person, though. Instead, the new person chooses the person they want to kick out. So this will be extra awkward. 

The members of the team that wins within each category will get 100,000 points each, and the one who gets the most votes within that team will also get 150,000 extra points. Also, the three teams that win get to go on MNET and get special online promotion. 

Since MNET spent their whole budget on those matching pajamas that time, this is the best they can do for a set for the song selection process, which runs from about 17:00 to 31:00. 

Is that duct tape forming the lanes? I love the chandeliers just sort of hanging there from the ceiling, just the perfect compliment for that elementary-school style indestructible gray carpet. 

I’m not going to recap the song selection beat for beat, but here are some things I enjoyed or thought were interesting:

Tomboy is the most popular and fought over song, followed closely by Love Killa.  

Krystian got a real evil edit for pushing someone out -- they were all pushing each other out like that, but only he looks "evil."

The Rap/dance songs filled up the most slowly.

I loved Ma Xing Jiang confirming that he’s in front of the correct song by doing a little of the choreo (since maybe reading English isn’t a specialty of his).

I think it’s a bummer that Yoon Jong Woo can’t do Love Killa, since I think he’d suit it really well. But I don’t know why he chose to do Home -- he said he wanted to do a performance with Seung Eun, but I still don’t understand. 

It was also a bit sad when Ricky got kicked out of Love Killa, party because I think he’d be great at it and partly because he really wanted to work with Mr. Sexy Kim Ji Woong.

I don’t think Matthew should have taken Tomboy. I think he would have done better with a lighter, sweeter concept song.

I loved it when my little cousin Kum Jeong Hyun just wanted to have General Gunwook on his own team and so was begging Sungbin to kick out Gunwook 

I loved Lee SeungHwan just being like, "yeah, alright, I’ll rap and dance, heck yeah," when he got kicked out of his team. That’s the spirit, dude! I keep low-key forgetting who Lee SeungHwan is, so I double checked. He was on the Mirotic team for the Star Level test, and he was the put-upon and hard-working leader of Lee Da Eul’s very own personal song, Danger by BTS. Oh yeah! Him! He’s a peach. 🍑

We learn, via a subtitle that is hardly addressed, that our sweet Lee Hwanhee, the main vocalist from Kill This Love-K (who is also from the nugu group Up10tion), has left the show due to health issues. I hope he’s ok. He can still sing, at least!

We also find out that the Top 9 get these fairly ugly windbreaker jackets to wear, so that’s... good…? I guess...? Also, I wonder if these fine themed garments are available for purchase at a store near me at an unreasonable price, so I can show my love for the boys through consumerism.

Team: Love Killa

Shirt color: Dark blue

Positions: Vocal and Dance

Leader: Seok Matthew

Time stamp: 30:49 Screen time: 4:28

Trainee name (rank)   Star Level test Challenge 1 age final star level

Seok Matthew (2) All I Wanna Do / KTL - G 20 🌟🌟🌟🌟 Kim Ji Woong (3) Mirotic / BD- K 24 ⭐⭐⭐ Kim Gyu Vin (6) Kick It / LMR - K 18 ⭐⭐⭐ Seo Won (18) Attention / Very Nice - K 22 🌟🌟🌟🌟

Seo Won feels bad as the only non-top 9 on the team -- he’s worried he will drag the team down. 

Matthew wants to be the leader to prove he’s not a baby who needs to be taken care of. I get the feeling that Kim Ji Woong doesn’t really like being the leader, and is only too happy to hand over the reins.  

When it comes time to pick someone for the killing part, English pronunciation becomes an issue, and Matthew correctly says that the feeling matters more than pronunciation since they can always work on pronunciation later. They give the part to Kim Ji Woong, which is really a good call, though I think Kim Gyuvin would do a great job at it too. 

Team: Feel Special

Shirt color: Light Blue

Positions: Vocal and Dance

Leader: Cai Jin Xin

Time stamp: 35:19 Screen time: 2:31

Trainee name (rank)   Star Level test Challenge 1 age final star level

Cha Woong Ki (25) Bloom Bloom / Very Nice - K 20 ⭐⭐ Zhang Shuai Bo (36) Reveal / BD - G 21 ⭐ Lee Dong Gun (48) Criminal (shoes) / Hot Sauce - K 17 ⭐⭐ Cai Jin Xin (50) Reveal / Hot Sauce - G 19 🚫

Cai Jin Xin says, “I love our team,” in English, and (a) his English is really well pronounced and (b) me too!! Woongki says the team is well balanced, because they have two G and two K team members. Also, as Jin Xin points out, “only the pretty guys are here.” I will say that this seems to be the Team Full of Queens that Seo Won prophesied earlier, and again, I am totally here for it. 

They are realizing that it might be a tough job, because they’re all comparatively low ranked, and also, the music is really high pitched. They are given a version of the song in a lower key, but I feel like they could lower it further, right? They are allowed to rearrange the song. Because it’s so high, no one wants the main vocal, or even a normal amount of stage time. Woongki, who seems to be taking on an actual leadership role in addition to the Killing Part, encourages the others to be confident, saying that this might be their last stage so they should take the chance to stand in the center one more time. He interviews later on that he’s never had to beg people to take parts before!  

Team: Home

Shirt color: Black

Positions: Vocal and Dance

Leader: Yoon Jong Woo

Time stamp: 37:50 Screen time: 4:02

Trainee name (rank)   Star Level test Challenge 1 age final star level

Jay (9) Rush Hour / LMR - G 21 🌟🌟🌟🌟 Yoo Seung Eon (17) Kick It / Very Nice - K 19 ⭐⭐⭐ Dang Hong Hai (33) View / LMR - G 19 ⭐⭐⭐ Yoon Jong Woo (38) Mirotic / BD - K 22 ⭐ Ji Yun Seo (47) Kick It / BD - K 18 ⭐⭐⭐

They’re distributing the parts, which of course is tricky here since there are a lot of great vocalists on this team. Ji Hoon is still really really bummed to not get to work on Love Killa, but he’s consoled a bit by getting to work with a good team who seem to all respect and like him. 

The original choreo is a lot, and the chorus is really high. Naturally they give the main vocals to titanium voiced Yoo Seung Eon whose voice is like, Exo quality. I love Kim Tae Rae, but I have to admit that Seung Eon is the best vocalist on the show, better even than Hui. 

The team is trying to decide who will take which dance position, so they dance to “Na bina”, which is kind of funny.

Team: Butterfly

Shirt color: White

Positions: Vocal and Dance

Leader: Chen Kuan Jui

Time stamp: 41:52 Screen time: 3:45

Trainee name (rank)   Star Level test /Challenge 1 age final star level

Chen Kuan Jui (26) Tiger Inside / KTL - G 22 ⭐⭐⭐ Lim Jun Seo (30) Replay/ Danger - K 17 ⭐ Cong (35) View / Very Nice - G 22 ⭐⭐⭐ Brian (41) Kick It - G / BD - G 20 ⭐

This team has a nice sense of camaraderie. 

Lim Jun Seo is lacking in skills, and is open about that, which I have mixed feelings about. Honesty is good, but you need to have a positive attitude. The other boys on the team promise to help him -- Chen Kaun Jui offers to help him with his dancing, and Cong offers to help with his singing, saying, in Korean, “I too. Vocal.” Jun Seo replies by calling him “hyung,” which makes Cong smile. Cong’s Korean is obviously still a bit elementary; that’s not a criticism, just a note. I have all the sympathy in the world for the global trainees who don’t know Korean. 

Incidentally, we see in a flashback that Lee Da Eul volunteered both of them to go first on the first day, and he did that knowing that Jun Seo did NOT want to go first, and I’ll let all 2-3 of you reading this decide for yourself whether that’s a cool thing to do or not.

Anyway, they are trying to decide who gets the killing part based on freestyle dance, and Jun Seo is like, so we’ll learn the choreo quickly? And it’s like, no honey, no, you sweet child. Once he realizes what freestyle means, he’s out. I’m like, “Just give the killing part to CKJ already, because you know he deserves it,” and they do.

I hate that the story is mostly about Jun Seo, instead of being about the far more talented Chen Kuan Jui. I didn’t like CKJ much at first that much for whatever reason, but he’s grown on me a lot. I think he’s sweet, hard working, and an incredible dancer. I don’t think he’ll make it onto the final lineup, but I hope we keep seeing him around the kpop verse. 

Team: Gang

Shirt color: Black

Positions: Rap and Dance

Leader: Lee Seung Hwan🍑

Time stamp: 45:32 Screen time: 2:08 

Trainee name (rank)   Star Level test Challenge 1 age final star level

Kum Jun Hyeon (14) Nunu Nana BD - K 19 🌟🌟🌟🌟 Lee Seung Hwan🍑 (20) Mirotic Danger - K 22 ⭐⭐⭐ Mun Jung Hyun (23) The Real Very Nice - K 17 🌟🌟🌟🌟 Lee Jeong Hyeon (39) The Real LMR - K 20 ⭐⭐⭐ Chen Jian Yu (45) Call Me Baby BD - G 24 ⭐

This team consists of mostly people who got kicked out of the song they wanted. So, their spirits are kind of low. My little cousin and noted yeller Kum Jun Hyeon is bummed out -- he really wanted that bleepin’ Tomboy. And none of them have any experience making choreo. I do think that my little muffin Mun Jung Hyun knows something about rapping, and that maybe Lee Jeong Hyeon does too, so fingers crossed. 

Side note: Chen Jian Yu looks great with his current hair color. Miles better than the light blue and also better than the dark color he had in the Star Level Test. 

No one steps forward to make the choreo, so my little cousin Kum Jun Hyeon finally steps up, saying, “Although I can’t guarantee the quality, if I didn’t do it, I didn’t think anyone else could do it.” I find that very charming. Fighting, little cuz!  

WHAT KIND OF PERFORMANCE WILL THEY PREPARE???? We’ll find out… 

Team: Zoom

Shirt color: Dark blue

Positions: Rap and Dance

Leader: Keita

Time stamp: 47:40 Screen time: 2:37

Trainee name (rank)   Star Level test Challenge 1 age final star level

Keita (8) Conduct Zero /KTL - G 21 🌟🌟🌟🌟 Haruto (16) Glitch Mode/ LMR - G 18 🌟🌟🌟🌟 Ollie (28) Kick It - G /Hot Sauce - G 16 🚫 Wumuti (43) UN Village/ LMR - G 23 ⭐⭐ Park Hyunbeen (49) GBTB/ Hot Sauce - K 17 ⭐⭐⭐

Keita, who is really feeling himself, says that he likes the song and wanted to do it, and adds, “I thought things would go well if I came to lead this team, regardless of whoever came or was here already.” Like, he’s not wrong. 

Naturally, they make him leader -- I knew that as soon as I saw that he was on the team. 

And they start practicing the Killing Part -- it’s that beginning part, “I see you looking at my P-I-C,” and they all want it. Hyunbeen says that they’re all wary and competitive with each other, and he’s especially desperate to win the extra points because of his low rank. He wins the killing part, though, so he’s over the moon. Oh god, are the judges going to tell his team to give the killing part to someone else?  

Team: Law

Shirt color: White

Positions: Rap and Dance

Leader: Park Hanbin

Time stamp: 50:17 Screen time: 2:06

Trainee name (rank)   Star Level test Challenge 1 age final star level

Han Yu Jin (4) Kick It BD - K 15 ⭐⭐⭐ Park Hanbin (22) The Real Hot Sauce - K 20 🌟🌟🌟🌟 Wang Zi Hao (29) Veil KTL - G 21 🌟🌟🌟🌟 Na Kamden (31) Rush Hour BD - G 21 ⭐⭐⭐ Lee Ye Dam (42) Gambler LMR - K 20 🌟🌟🌟🌟

This team is excited to be working together at first -- both Wang Zi Hao and Lee Yedam are among the very best dancers on the show. However, most of them are not really rappers -- they’re just vocalists. Park Hanbin says, “I rap like I’m reading a book.” Hey, we saw Lee Yedam rap in his Star Level test, and he was really good! But they’re worried anyway -- most of them don’t specialize in rapping and they don’t know how to write lyrics. Oh no! A lot of trainees I really like are on this team. Well, to be fair, I like almost all the trainees at this point, so I could say that about pretty much any of the teams. 

It does seem that Na Kamden has some vague idea of how to write rap, at least. That’s really all you need -- one person who can write a rap and teach it to the others. Fighting, Kamden! Yujin steps up, too, saying, “I did learn a bit about rap.” Meanwhile, the other three can make the choreo. They’re going to get through it! 

Side note: Did they make Han Yujin at the same laboratory where they made Sung Hanbin? Do they also make purse sized dragons there? Little dragons that will love you and be loyal to you? Is that the kind of thing they also make at this laboratory? I hope I can visit there someday. 

Team: Rush Hour

Shirt color: Light Blue

Positions: Rap and Dance

Leader: Oh Sungmin

Time stamp: 52:23 Screen time: 2:57

Trainee name (rank)   Star Level test Challenge 1 age final star level

Ricky (12) Kick It - G /BD - G 18 ⭐⭐ Takuto (15) Instead Of... /Danger - G 15 ⭐ Hiroto (21) Conduct Zero /Very Nice - G 20 ⭐⭐ Ma Jing Xiang (32) Reveal /Very Nice - G 19 🚫 Oh Sung Min (34) Bloom Bloom /LMR - K 21 ⭐⭐⭐

By the time we visit them, they’re already dancing. We can see from their sign thing in the background that Ricky has the Killing Part, and is both main dancer and main rapper; and we watch as Oh Sungmin is unanimously voted the leader. He’s the oldest, he used to be in a debuted group (TOO/T01) and he’s also the only 3 star (and there aren’t any 4 stars). So, that makes sense. But it does seem odd to me to be starting the choreography when they haven’t written their raps yet…?

Naturally, it’s hard to teach Takuto. You can see that he’s doing the steps more like they’re the steps from “Na Bina.” Sungmin is trying -- he even says “Daijobou?” to Takuto, which is Japanese for “Ok?” -- but he’s going too fast for someone like Takuto, and he’s going to need to break it down a LOT more. 

Meanwhile, Ma Jing Xiang is trying to move ahead, and there’s an interview from Hiroto about how MJX is just “thinking about himself,” how he did the same thing in Very Nice, trying to learn the choreo from the K-team who were so far ahead. Ricky apparently is studying the choreography video, and again, we’re told that this is bad, but why? Ricky speaks a few languages and is a kind soul, and I bet he’s trying to learn the choreo at least in part to be able to help his teammates. But the show makes this looks selfish, and Oh Sungmin interviews, “We need to work on our teamwork first.” 

I don’t understand this take. Why does the word “teamwork” seem to mean “We have to get Takuto step-perfect on each dance phrase before the team can go to the next phrase”? Couldn’t teamwork mean, “We work on different things to get the whole job done”? Doesn’t it only benefit the team to have more people who know the choreo and music in general? While Takuto does the same 10 steps over and over, why should the whole team do that? Especially considering that Takuto is in the safety zone, rank wise, while MJX is definitely not and needs to do everything in his power to put on a good show. Takuto can go ahead and screw this up and he’ll still probably make it through the next elimination round. And that’s a bummer, but that’s how these shows are. 

Ok, let me out myself. I’m a teacher. WHAT? Yeah. I am. I don’t work at a school -- I teach adults, who sometimes are older than me, as well as teenagers and little kids. It’s a weird job and I’m not YOUR teacher so don’t worry about it, ok? Alright. So we go that out of the way. And the thing about being a good teacher is that you have a responsibility to the students who are ahead just as much as to the students who are behind, and a lot of teachers don’t know how to fulfill that obligation.

And it’s not really Oh Sungmin’s fault that he doesn’t know how to be a really great teacher, but I think that if I were there, I’d advise him to not worry right now about Takuto getting the choreo perfect. It’s going to take a lot of work before that happens, and it’s not going to be today. They should be going for the big picture, and making sure that everyone has a chance to get the basics of their routine down so that it becomes possible for people to do individual practice later. It’s like putting together the frame of the jigsaw puzzle first, and then putting together the pieces in the middle. The frame helps you get started and know where to put the other pieces.

Ok that was probably more than you cared to read but anyway. That’s how I feel. This is dumb and irritating. 

On to the next team! 

Team: Man in Love

Shirt color: Dark blue

Positions: Vocal and Rap

Leader: Lee Dong Yeol

Time stamp: 55:20

Screen time: 3:10

Trainee name (rank)   Star Level test Challenge 1 age final star level

Kim Tae Rae (11) The Real BD - K 20 🌟🌟🌟🌟 Jung Min Gyu (27) My House (Red) Very Nice - K 23 🚫 Lee Dong Yeol (40) Who Very Nice - K 24 ⭐ Choi Woo Jin (51) Nunu Nana Hot Sauce - K 18 ⭐

They’ve elected Dongyeol, who is a member of the group Up10tion, their leader, and that makes sense. 

The team is sitting around listening to the song, and Mingyu is saying it’s nostalgic for him, and WAIT is that a hickey on TaeRae’s neck?

I mean it’s not. Is it? It’s not. It can’t be. But also, whoever makes out with TaeRae, please be gentle to his neck, ok? That’s where he keeps his singing parts. He needs those. For singing. 

Anyway, the team is talking about how much they like the song. Mingyu and Dongyeol, age 23 and 24 respectively, remember and like the song, while Tae Rae didn’t know it before but liked it when he heard it prior to song selection. Tae Rae thinks it suits his voice well, and Mingyu agrees, interviewing that he’s grateful that Tae Rae joined the team. I'm grateful that Tae Rae joined life!

They each try the killing part, and Dongyeol sings a bit, and his voice is actually much better than I thought it was, though he cracks a bit. When he’s done, no one reacts, so he applauds a tiny bit for himself until everyone else joins in. Aww. Then TaeRae sings and it’s so nice. It’s just… yeah. Listen, I know that titanium voice kid, Yoo Seung Eon, has a better voice, but I like TaeRae’s better. It’s like how Chen from EXO has a better voice than D.O., but I’d rather listen to D.O. 

Meanwhile, Choi Woojin is having trouble even finding the note to sing. I’m kind of surprised he chose vocals, but maybe he was scared to write a rap? In that case, what is he good at? I watched his Hot Sauce and Nunu Nana performances, and he was basically a backup dancer in both -- he doesn’t seem to be a vocalist in any way, either as a singer or a rapper. What a bummer that we lost Hong Keon Hee and Kim Min Seong, because both of those were in the Nunu Nana group with him and both did a much better job in their various performances. 

Red house Mingyu sings really really loud, apparently, and Woojin sings very quietly, so this will be tough. 

Team: Limousine

Shirt color: Light blue

Positions: Vocal and Rap

Leader: Anthonny

Time stamp: 58:30 Screen time: 1:27

Trainee name (rank)   Star Level test/Challenge 1 age final star level

Anthonny  (19) Glitch Mode /LMR - G 19 ⭐⭐⭐ Krystian (37) Call Me Baby /BD - G 23 ⭐⭐ Park Ji Hoo (44) Freak /Hot Sauce - K 16 ⭐⭐⭐

Anthonny has been elected leader, but Park Jihoo ends up kind of stepping up to lead. He suggests that they think about what the song is really about -- it’s about a man achieving his dreams. They’re working on achieving their own dreams, so he thinks they can focus on that in their raps. 

Trainees writing raps about how they’re trainees who want to debut? 

Krystian is on his Very Best Behavior, and calls Jihoo, “Park Jihoo-shi,” which is kind of ridiculous given that Jihoo is seven years younger than him. He would still be polite in Korean standards to call him “Jihoo-ah” or something like that, and I bet he knows that. 

Krystian calls him “mature” (in English), and since he can’t find the right word in Korean, explains it as, “you know what you’re doing.” And Jihoo agrees: “Genius, genius,” he says in English, of himself. Jihoo is a hoot. 

(Incidentally, Jihoo says he’s 18, because he uses the Korean age system, which says you’re a year old at birth, and that also calculates your age based on the year it is, whether or not your birthday has happened yet. So he’s really 16, and will be turning 17 in July, by international standards.)

Team: Not Spring, Love, or Cherry Blossoms

Shirt color: Black

Positions: Vocal and Rap

Leader: Jung I Chan

Time stamp: 59:57 Screen time: one whole minute

Trainee name (rank)   Star Level test /Challenge 1 age final star level

Lee Da Eul (13) Replay /Danger - K 18 🚫 Bak Do Ha (24) My House (Blue)/ Hot Sauce - K 20 🚫 Jung I Chan (52) Mirotic /Danger - K 20 ⭐⭐

Oh boy. This team. MNET gives them exactly one minute of screen time and most of that is just mocking their past performances. 

I think Bak Doha is a decent guy who just needed better advice from his agency and more realistic goals in life, and I hope he makes it as an actor. Jung I-chan has been at this a long time and must have some talent or he wouldn’t keep making it halfway on shows like this, but he’s yet to really prove himself at a key moment. And you guys know how I feel about Lee Daeul -- I don’t like being unkind so I literally cannot say anything about him, whether it be about his personality, past behavior, or observable skill set. It would be such a redemption moment if any of these three could do something great in their performance, but I’m not exactly holding my breath. I’ll say though that I-chan has the best attitude he can have, considering.

Team: Tomboy

Shirt color: White (but basically, purple/blue top-9 jackets)

Positions: Vocal and Rap

Leader: Hui

Time stamp: 1:01:05 Screen time: 5:25, the longest of any team by a full minute

Trainee name (rank)   Star Level test Challenge 1 age final star level

Sung Hanbin (1) Beautiful Beautiful LMR - K 21 🌟🌟🌟🌟 Zhang Hao (5) Kick It - G KTL - G 22 🌟🌟🌟🌟 Hui (7) Shut Down LMR - K 29 ⭐⭐⭐ Park Gunwook (10) GBTB KTL - K 18 🌟🌟🌟🌟

This team is a little TOO stacked. Three of them are top 9, and General Gunwook is in 10th place. They have three excellent leaders on the team -- Hui, Zhang Hao, and Gunwook would all make excellent leaders. And they have three excellent candidates for a center/killing part roll - basically, anyone but Hui would do a fantastic job at it. (Not that Hui can’t, but the others are that bit better.)

Gunwook says, “You can’t have a better team than this. As if I were Liu Bei, who gained Guan Yu and Zhang Fei, my shoulders kept rising.”

Ok, a few things about this. This isn’t the first time I’ve seen Koreans talk about “shoulders rising” as if that indicates pride or confidence -- maybe it’s a bit like “holding your head up high” in English idiom. Makes intuitive sense, too.  

Next, it’s as if General Gunwook knows that I call him General Gunwook, because he’s making a reference to Liu Bei. Lui Bei was a Chinese warlord (born in the year 166) who founded Shu Han, one of the Three Kingdoms of China. Liu Bei gathered a team together during the Yellow Turban Revolution of 184, which I’m sure you already know all about, and gathered a group of loyal followers, including Guan Yu and  Zhang Fei. So Gunwook is positing himself as a Warlord Emperor, and his teammates as his loyal generals. Love it.

The show seems to be implying that Gunwook is a little too solicitous of his team, fetching the lyric sheet and getting pens for them and stuff, but that’s what you do when you’re a polite younger person in Korean culture, and Gunwook is a polite guy. Of course he’ll get a pen for someone who is 11 years older than him! 

Zhang Hao says that Gunwook was scary in Kill This Love, but now he’s a cute and sweet dongsaeng (younger sibling/friend). He seems genuinely surprised, but I’m not at all. Gunwook expands to fill the space -- if no leader is present, he’ll lead, and if one is present, he’ll follow. He’s a General, but he recognizes Hui as a Major General, and will follow commands.  He’s also smart and wouldn’t want to look like a rude kid on TV! 

Zhang Hao really wants the killing part, and so do Sung Hanbin and Hui. I think Zhang Hao is by far the best, and General Gunwook agrees with me, but the win goes to Sung Hanbin. That’s kind of a bummer but given how popular he is I guess it’ll work out well for the team. Zhang Hao is a class act -- he’s bummed, but he knows that Hanbin is also really good. So he sets himself the challenge of being able to rap quickly in Korean, reasoning that if Yuqi from G-Idle can do it, so can he! Hanbin is helping him and he’s improving already. Zhang Hao, fighting! 

Side note: Kind of funny that they’re not acknowledging that Hui is from the same agency (Cube) that G-Idle is from. Hui probably knows Soyeon and Yuqi and the girls, at least in passing. I kind of wonder whether Hui and Soyeon get along? They’re both music producers who lead their teams and take responsibility for their members, so they have all that in common. On the other hand, sometimes people don’t like each other if they’re too much alike. Man, imagine if Soyeon and Hui teamed up, Triple-H style? Or even better, just a Pentagon/G-Idle crossover group, NCT style, where they just use whichever members from either group that would work in a particular song? Sigh. A girl can dream. 

And with that, we’ve reached the end of this part of the Recap! Click here to go to Part 2, which is my discussion of Gang and Zoom!

Or if you'd prefer, you can scroll up to the top and look at one of the other songs! Or if you'd prefer, you can go on to Episode 8.

Thanks for being here! <3