#boys in groove packs

[sl-ut]

too sweet

pairing: rhaenyra targaryen x fem!targ bastard!reader

description: y/n heritage was plain as day–she was a targaryen bastard forced to work in the brothels just to scrape by, so when the rightful queen of the seven kingdoms calls for her illegitimate kin to join her in dragonstone, it is nearly impossible to ignore.

warnings: hotd typical warnings, reader’s appearance slightly described (hair colour and its mentioned that she had lost weight due to malnutrition but that's it), slight smut like literally just the beginning, slight reference to rhaenyra as mommy but not really she’s just a mother with maternal instincts and im horny mbmb

words: 4.2K

date posted: 05/09/24

The lower streets of King’s Landing had quickly dwindled into a dangerous cesspool of violence, hatred, and poverty in the months following the death of King Viserys II. The line of succession had been a heavily debated topic across the nation ever since Queen Aemma lost her first boy, even among the common folk, and especially after the Hightowers usurped the throne in favour of Prince Aegon before Rhaenyra could even attempt to lay her claim.

In truth, Y/n felt no loyalty to either side of this war. She was, afterall, one of the many Targaryen offspring left to rot in the streets of Flea Bottom, and though she felt morally tied to Rhaenyra solely through her sex, she also knew that the world was designed for men and men alone, so there was no possible way that Rhaenyra Targaryen could ascend the throne without some sort of political pushback. Her loyalty, at this point, was something to be earned from either side, but now with Prince Aemond acting as Regent, it was almost impossible to feel any sort of loyalty towards the Greens with how poorly the common folk were being treated, and though Rhaenyra’s attempts to share food among the masses in King’s Landing was most certainly nothing more than a ploy to earn their fealty, it was working. 

Y/n had lost a considerable amount of weight in the few weeks since rations had been cut back even further, and many of her regular customers had complained that her curves and plush thighs had thinned out, and anyone who gripped her tight enough could easily feel the grooves of her bones beneath the once pillow-soft flesh. Her silver-white hair appeared to be dull in colour, and her skin was more tender than ever before–not only was she more susceptible to bruising due to her malnutrition, but her clients were also rougher when they came to her; men were could hardly afford her services anymore, so they were taking her as they pleased whenever they could. Despite the neglect to her physical form, she still needed to perform her duties at the brothel each night, and had to hold her tongue in disgust each time any member or affiliate of the royal family requested her services. Y/n knew that, if she were to remain in King’s Landing for much longer, she would end up starving to death, so long as she was not brutally murdered first. 

So, when she overheard two of her clients whispering about Rhaenyra’s call for all Targaryen bastards to flee to Dragonstone, she only hesitated for a brief moment before packing the few belongings she had into a moth-eaten sack and fleeing to the shore along with many of her brothers and sisters. On the journey, they shared their stories–who they were, who they may have descended from, why they had answered the Queen’s call… Each and every one of them were there out of sheer desperation, and many of them could not even be certain that they had any Targaryen blood, they were there based on rumours and hope of escaping starvation, even if it meant that they were going to be eaten alive by one of the largest dragons in the world. 

Y/n had always been complimented for her Valyrian features, silver hair and purplish eyes, but nothing had prepared her for the unearthly beauty of Queen Rhaenyra. She was the pinnacle of how a Targaryen should appear in physicality and in presence. The moment she set foot in the regal library of Dragonstone, she commanded the attention of everyone inside, and as she argued with the dragon keepers in High Valyrian, Y/n could feel her heart beating against her ribcage. Her mere existence made Y/n nervous, similarly to how one might feel in the presence of a god, the woman watching in awe as the Queen commanded a dragon to serve her, reaching out to lay her hand upon his snout and close her eyes, feeling the energy transfer between them. 

Her awe was quickly broken, though, as Vermax rejected the first man who stepped forward to claim him, then turning to spray fire at the remaining group rather than offer any acceptance. In truth, Y/n could not be surprised; she had willingly walked into the dragon pit in hopes of claiming a wild dragon, something that was rarely done by those with the purest of Valyrian bloodlines, let alone by someone who would never be recognized as a true Targaryen. She was only glad that she was able to flee and hide herself behind a large broken piece of stone before the dragon could swallow her whole. She could not remember how long she had been cowering behind the stone before she could feel the dragon’s presence behind her, feeling the force of his exhale around the stone. She finally pushed herself up on shaky legs, turning to find herself staring into the open jaws of Vermithor as he stared down at her. She trembled at his sheer size, her entire body scarcely comparable to the size of one of his long, sharp claws. Closing her eyes, she accepted her fate–this could not be any worse than the slow death of starvation she would have faced had she not left King’s Landing to begin with. This way, the pain would be worse, but her death would be instant, and her bones would not be left to rot in the streets. She let out a shaky breath, waiting for the heat of his fire, but it never came.

Instead, she felt her body fall back, landing against the jagged stone of the dragon pit from the force of his snout meeting her chest. Her eyes cracked open, peering up at him fearfully, only to be met by his curious stare. His jaws had closed, no long seeming to be interested in harming her as he laid his head down onto the ground, grumbling impatiently as he waited for her attention. 

She turned her gaze upwards, finding the queen staring down at her amidst the chaos and smoke. She wore a small smirk on her face, appearing proud that someone was finally able to claim the wild dragon. Y/n felt a warmth in her belly at her attention, chest heaving as Rhaenyra nodded at her, as if giving her permission to finally lay claim to the dragon that had chosen her to ride him. His nose was scaly beneath her touch, but his flesh provided her with a comforting warmth that was so different to the uncomfortable heat of the still-burning flames all around her. She carefully pressed against him, resting her head against his nose, feeling the connection form between them–she could feel his emotions, how he was quickly calming from her touch, and she wondered if he could feel her heartbeat slowly decreasing from its rapid pace. He nudged her to climb up his wing, slowly raising her to step back up onto the platform and meet the queen face-to-face. 

“What is your name?” Rhaenyra spoke, her tone firm but welcoming.

Y/n lowered her head, dropping into a poorly attempted curtsy, “Y/n, Your Grace.”

The queen nodded, “I must admit, I am surprised that you have been able to claim a dragon at all, let alone one such as Vermithor, but I cannot describe the relief you have given me today. You should be proud, having claimed the second largest, and arguably the fiercest dragon in the world.”

“I-I cannot tell you how this feels, Your Grace. I am but a common girl from Flea Bottom–this is my first time even leaving King’s Landing.”

“And now you are a dragon rider. How you have risen.” Rhaenyra smirked, dragging her violet gaze down the length of her body, “Come, you must be tired and hungry from your journey. I will have my ladies prepare you a bath and bring you new clothes. I need you strong, if you are to ride a dragon.”

Her night in Dragonstone had not felt real. For the first time since she was a small child, she had others taking care of her. The ladies were gentle as they massaged soap into her silver hair and dull skin, pressing rose-scented oil into her skin and braiding her hair into a style she had never had the pleasure of wearing–she typically could not afford proper hair care, as her clients tended to tug and rip at her silver curls while seeking pleasure, making it pointless to wear anything more than one simple braid. Her dress was simple, but still the finest quality she’d ever worn. It was black, with red stitching along the hem, almost as if Rhaenyra was claiming her as a member of the Blacks, which she supposed she likely was. Her mouth watered at the sight of the food, forgoing the utensils on the table and instead ripping pieces of meat apart with her bare hands, moaning at the taste and savouring every last lick of flavour, washing it all down with the sweetest red wine she had ever tasted. 

She was on her second plate when Rhaenyra came to her chambers, silently slipping through the secret passage and motioning for the handmaidens to leave the room. 

“I hope it is up to your standard,” She spoke, smirking as the girl flinched in surprise at the queen’s voice, “I’m afraid we have had to give up some luxuries in order to prepare for the coming war, but I figured that you would be wanting for a proper meal.” 

“My queen,” Y/n spoke, wine dribbling down the corner of her mouth, “I cannot even remember the last time I have been able to taste meat at all, and I’m sure I’ve never been afforded something such as this.”

“I’m glad,” Rhaenyra took the seat across from her at the small round table, “I understand that you are tired and wish to retire soon, but I could not deny my curiosity. Tell me, do you know of your heritage?”

Y/n shrunk in her seat, unsure of whether her lineage may cause the queen any upset, “I cannot be certain, Your Grace, but I am told I come from either of two Targaryen men.”

Rhaenyra tilted her head, “Your mother could not be certain?”

Y/n pursed her lips, “I did not know my mother. She died in her labours, I’m afraid, but her employer took in and put me to work as soon as I was old enough.”

Rhaenyra nodded, the solemn look in her eyes making her understanding clear, “I am sorry to hear that. I can understand the pain of losing a mother, though I was fortunate enough to know her for a while before she was taken from us.”

Y/n bowed her head, “I was only a young child when Queen Aemma died, but I remember my household mourning her greatly. I’m told she was the finest of ladies.” 

“Thank you, she was.” Rhaenyra gulped down the lump in her throat, “Enough about me, tell me of your lineage.”

Y/n nodded, “Some tell me that my mother was the bastard daughter of Prince Baelon, your grandsire. I’m told her hair was light in colour, not so much as mine, but her own mother was dark of hair. Others tell me that my father may have been…Prince Daemon.” She watched as the queen raised her brow, “I’m told he was a regular customer of my mother’s before she fell pregnant, though I cannot be certain where my Valyrian blood comes from.”

Rhaenyra sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose, “I am aware of my husband’s indiscretions, but do not fear. We cannot be to blame for the misdoings of our parents.”

“Thank you, Your Grace,” Y/n smiled at her softly, “Forgive me for asking, but I was under the impression that Prince Daemon was here with you, I had assumed that he would be more present in the claiming of the dragons.”

Rhaenyra frowned, “Daemon has claimed Harrenhal in my name, or so I’m told. In truth, I was so determined to find riders for my remaining dragons because I am not certain whether he fights for my claim or his own. I fear he still resents me for my father replacing him as his successor, and the last time we spoke he did not seem to be very pleased with me or the way that I wish to conduct this war.” 

“I am sorry to hear that, Your Grace.” Y/n frowned, “My apologies, I never should have asked.”

“Nonsense,” Rhaenyra swiped a singular tear from her cheek, “You are one of my dragonriders now, blood of the dragon. You are privy to the internal quarrels of my council if you are to risk your life for my cause.”

Y/n nodded, unsure of what else to say. She opened her mouth, uncertain of what was about to come out when Rhaenyra stood, staring down at her with sharp violet eyes. 

“My apologies for keeping you, my lady. I shall let you rest now, I need you at your best to begin your lessons in the morn.” She hesitated for a moment before finally rounding the table and pressing a firm kiss to the crown of her head, then finally fleeing through the secret passage that she had arrived through, leaving the girl stunned at the affection she had just received from the Queen. 

In the following weeks, Y/n’s bond with Vermithor had grown more than she could have possibly imagined. She was far from fluent in High Valyrian and still had much to learn in the art of dragon riding, but she was now able to use basic commands with her mount and was growing more confident while flying. 

She had also found herself acting as a confidant for the queen, at first mostly for political matters–Mysaria had been very helpful in the beginning when it came to pulling the commoners to her side, but Y/n had lived through the cruelty forced upon the masses by the Greens, she was able to give Rhaenyra a first-hand perspective. Then, she began coming to her for other matters, even just to talk, though Y/n understood how lonely she must feel among her counsel of men, especially now that she was forced to deal with the icy attitude of her own son, who had been entirely against the recruitment of the Targaryen bastards and now seemed to be punishing his mother for giving not one, but three fully grown dragons to those who had no rightful claim to them. 

Y/n found comfort in the three other bastards that had joined Rhaenyra’s team. Hugh was a gentle soul in a tough vessel, always prepared to fight and protect those he cared about. He had quickly become quite close with the younger woman, viewing her almost as a younger sister (which they very well could be, for all they know). Ulf was, well, Ulf. He was rough around the edges, exactly the type you would expect to find in the lowest and poorest areas of Flea Bottom, the type to hang around brothels and bars for the majority of his life, spending the only coin to his name on booze and only the cheapest of whores. Addam was quieter than the other two when dealing with the queen and their newfound duties, but seemed to be the most endlessly confident man that Y/n had ever met. He was loyal to his core at the very least, but like the rest of them, he was nothing more than a commoner whose fate lay in the hands of those born into power, though he certainly had much more faith in Rhaenyra than the other two, mainly because of her greater amount of trust in him considering that he was able to claim a dragon without any help or even any effort–while the others had all come to Dragonstone to bond with a dragon, Seasmoke had chosen Addam on his own without prompt. Though, as much as he seemed to be the queen’s favourite amongst her new “army of bastards,” none were aware of the fact that Rhaenyra made nightly visits to Y/n’s chambers and would now consider her to be one of her closest confidants. 

Rhaenyra had found herself being quite clingy when it came to Y/n. Every night after she crept through the secret passageway, she would sit and talk for hours with Y/n regardless of what state the young woman may have been in. She sat with her while she studied High Valyrian, while she bathed, even while she slept sometimes, silently stroking her silver-white locks as her breathing slowed and deepened, perhaps overstaying her welcome for an hour or two before leaving through the same passage in which she had come. 

Y/n was among the few who could understand her frustrations. Everyone around her were men, none of whom considered her intelligent enough to lead their forces to victory; Daemon refused to correspond with her, despite the fact that he had travelled to Harrenhal in her name; her son resented her for bringing in these bastards and allowing them to claim dragons; her council rejected her ideas and undermined her rule as much as they possibly could. Y/n, however, was able to understand the sheer anger that she was feeling–to be ignored and criticised simply due to her gender. Rhaenyra knew fully well that everyone there would gladly turn their shields to Daemon should he press for his own claim to the throne, all except for her sweet Y/n.

The silver-haired queen could not be certain exactly when her affection for the young woman had grown past the point of decency. During their usual evenings together, Rhaenyra found herself reaching for her, laying a hand over her own or to scratch gently at her scalp or to stroke her cheek affectionately. It was something that Y/n had grown accustomed to, feeling Rhaenyra’s weight next to her in her feather-plush bed, her nimble fingertips soothing over her skin until she fell asleep. So much so, that the one evening that Rhaenyra did not come to her chambers, she found herself lying awake late into the night, waiting to feel the comforting, almost maternal presence of the silver queen. 

This longing for the woman’s wandering of the halls of Dragonstone, thanking the gods for the many lit torches lining the walls–otherwise, she would be left to wander a labyrinth of blackness with no hope of finding the queen. Rhaenyra had been spending a large majority of her time in the castle’s vast library, which is exactly where the new dragonrider found her, slouched over dozens of large, dusty books that had likely gone untouched for the last century.

The silver haired woman paid no mind to the new presence in the room, instead continuing to rake her eyes across the page mindlessly.

“Your Grace,” Rhaenyra’s eyes flickered up at the sound of the young woman’s voice, “You did not join us for supper.”

The queen sat back in her chair, rolling her neck to remove some of the kinks out, “My appetite did not find me this evening, I’m afraid.”

“And you did not come to my chambers,” This caused her eyebrows to perk up, her violet eyes drawing down her robe-clad body. Y/n shifted her weight from leg-to-leg, heat rising to her cheeks as her next admittance fell from her lips, “I admit, I found it difficult to find sleep without your presence.”

A small chuckle fell from Rhaenyra’s lips as a tired smile crossed her features, “My apologies, my sweet. How thoughtless of me to neglect you so.”

“Neglect,” Y/n muses, rounding the edge of the desk to lean against the lip just next to Rhaenyra’s seat. “I fear the only one of us that is facing neglect at your hand, Your Grace, is you.” Her fingers reached for the queen’s pale cheek, ghosting over the soft skin and admiring the pink that grew beneath her touch, “You look tired, and you have not eaten since breakfast–and do not even try to argue, I asked your handmaiden.”

“My sweet keeper,” Rhaenyra smirked, “I fear comfort is something I cannot afford at the moment, not until this war is won and I take back my rightful inheritance.”

“A war will not be won tired and hungry,” She retorted, “You must take care of yourself–or at least, allow others to care for you.”

This caused Rhaenyra to scoff, “I’m certain that my council would not care for me, even if they had to. In fact, I may be doing them a favour by allowing myself to waste away as such.” 

“Then allow me to care for you.”

Rhaenyra’s purple eyes widened in surprise, then settled into the familiar affectionate stare that she so often wore when dealing with the young woman, “Sweet girl, I fear you may be far too kind for this world. Or, for me, at the very least.”

“For the world, mayhaps, but I do not feel there is enough kindness in the world to treat you as you deserve, Your Grace.”

Rhaenyra stood from her chair abruptly, her own hands coming to settle over the young woman’s cheeks. A glaze of tears appeared in her eyes as she stuttered for a moment, mulling over her words to ensure that her point was as clear as possible.

[heartsofminds]

if you could see my thoughts, you would see our faces

“I do a lot of things you don’t do. Doesn’t mean you should be knockin’ yourself out to try ‘em.” or Carmy takes an impromptu smoke break and you're begging him for a drag.

A/N: just a sweet little blurb that's been sitting in my back pocket for a while. hope y'all love it as much as i loved writing it!

Smoke breaks never last forever. 

The cacophonic slam of a door, the pliable edges of a pack of American Spirits, the grooves of a lighter’s spark wheel, the mix of brisk Chicago wind smacking your face, and the heat of a silently shameful cigarette caressing it in a false sleeve of comfort – The world is silent during a smoke break. 

Until the door opens and someone asks to bum a light. Or until you get called back in because everyone and their goddamn mother in River North decides to come in to try the dinner special, yet pretend like they’re actually fucking curious to know what you think the best thing on the menu is. Or until the ignored panic in the back of your mind knocks the wind out of you when taking a particularly long drag that leaves you stifling a deep and hearty cough. 

The small moment of peace before it all still remains good. The moment of peace is fine. The moment of peace is all you can afford to get sometimes. 

A smoke break never lasts forever, but the temporary solace it provides is enough for Carmen, whose brain never seems to stop spinning no matter how fast or slow the world is turning without him. 

He’s gotten better, he thinks, about voicing his discomfort and finding ways to “cope” with his feelings of metaphysical spiraling. He’s still getting the hang of this whole “finding meaning outside of the kitchen” thing, but he figures that twenty-eight years of having your worth summed up in how well something was chopped or seasoned or sautéed or whatever the fuck is ridiculously hard to disengage from. 

His therapist would kill him if she knew that he credited a portion of the advancement of his well-being to you. He can hear Erin tell him that he can’t rely on people to make him feel better; that the only person who can determine Carmen’s worth is Carmen himself, but quite frankly he doesn’t give a fuck. 

And then he remembers that not giving a fuck is him making his own decision about his life (which he was never allowed to do before, which is why he thinks he was damned to hell to pick the profession he has), and his heart swells a bit with pride. He cares about something for once that has all to do with him and the meaning of life and living and being alive and in charge, and that idea is no longer a room with a false ceiling that can cave in at any moment. 

He doesn’t give a fuck because he does give one, and he has never known that something as simple as being loved, fully and authentically, was something that would make all the difference. 

Despite not being stressed out nor having a “real” reason to smoke (except for the fact that he’s a creature of habit, and you seem to love the word “addicted” even though he disagrees), he finds himself lifting the window near the fire escape of his apartment and stepping out onto the rusted steps that are less than functional and whips out his lighter and the red cardboard package harboring his cigarettes. 

The lights are off in the apartment and the soft whistling of the heater helps him make sense of the foggy window glass. Chicago is nightmarishly cold in November, yet his body doesn’t seem to mind the teen-digited temperature that plagues the indigo-hued 1 AM sky. 

Carmy loved in living in the city (and the actual city of Chicago and not Naperville or Joliet or Downers Grove like all the other self-proclaimed “Chicagoan” jagoffs that littered the outskirts of the city for sleep, but polluted it for play). 

He liked living in New York City but he loved living in Chicago. New York was too noisy which, he knows, is so fucking ironic given the fact he lives in the heart of all things bustling and boisterous. 

But New York had the kind of noise at night that was isolating; the sounds of cars honking and the squeal of the subway telling the stories of a million different lives of a million different people that he didn’t know. 

New York City is the largest city in the United fucking States, yet a twenty-two-year-old Carmen could not have felt lonelier while he was there. New York City is the perfect city in the United fucking States to go soul-searching in, and yet a twenty-two-year-old Carmen could not have been more clueless about who he was at the time.  

And he’s still figuring out this “thing” called having an identity and finding peace, and he’ll never feel like he knows a whole lot about anything, but he does know two things for certain. 

He fucking loathes feeling lonely and he fucking despises feeling clueless. 

Chicago is noisy, but the kind of noise that sends an irritated streak of comfort down your spine; the hatred of your twin bed and its mismatched sheets in your childhood bedroom, but the comfort of knowing a refreshing and safe sleep is to follow that night. It was the kind of noise that filled living rooms on Christmas Day or the backyard on the Fourth. It was the sound of a vacuum cleaner running on an early Saturday morning during the first week of summer break and the ticking of kitchen timers and arguments and laughter and tears of all kinds. 

He was always reluctant to come back. His pride is something he holds close to his chest but wears with quiet confidence. He would rather die than it seem as if he ran away from New York back home with his tail between his legs. He would rather die than admit to himself that Chicago is where he was meant to be and where he should have always been. He would rather die than admit that through his fucked childhood and even fuck-ier adulthood (Thank you Mikey and Mom and NOMA and Chef David), the city is his safety blanket. 

Carmen hasn’t been back to the house since the incident five Christmases ago. Everyone mutually (and very silently so as to not piss his mom off even more than she always perpetually seemed to be) decided that Christmas Eve dinner is much better suited for Uncle Jimmy’s house. When Natalie called on the phone to let him know about the change of venue the following year, he had known from her tone that another Richter scale meltdown had occurred once their mother found out. 

From then on he found ways to stay away; to stay put and to put his life on hold and it was the closest thing he could get to not breathing with, you know, still actually fucking breathing. 

And it worked for a while. It worked for one thousand eight hundred and twenty-five days, to be exact. 

But then Mikey died and then there was a restaurant and then there was every relative that had ever known of his existence knocking down his door and begging him to let them in; asking him if he was okay and prodding him with questions about any and everything in between his mom driving her car into the fucking house and his brother deciding croaking was better than sticking around this hell hole. 

And it’s crazy, he thinks, how him simply observing the weather and thinking about possibly smoking a cigarette before bed created this rabbit hole of what would usually be the beginning of an anxious spiral. 

Fucking Christ, I need a cigarette. 

His fingers create an unrecognizable beat on the package of cigarettes in his hand and he takes the first step out onto the fire escape. 

Carmen’s body weight bares down on a piece of the wired metal and it groans in protest. The sounds of tires passing through slush on the road create soothing white noise for his ears. The thin blue henley shirt he has on does little to shield the wind from icing his skin, but he doesn’t mind. 

He can’t chance going back inside to fetch his jacket. The coat rack near the front door lies at the end of a pattern of creaks from your apartment’s shitty floorboards. You’re not a light sleeper in any sense of the word (nor are you entirely sober right now), but he knows that he never places that one particularly decrepit plank of wood right, and the noise will jolt you out of your slumber. 

His nimble fingers swiftly pull a cigarette out of the carton. He cups it with his left and uses his right to cradle the flicker of his lighter. The orange flame disappears as fast as it had been kindled and he inhales deeply and his exhale is shallow. 

Carmen had been smoking since he was fifteen, but he never really had a reason to do it other than Mikey did, and it was a way to spend more time with him. It was their little secret; something that was his and Mike’s and something that seemed like a big deal at the time but would mean jack shit the second he turned eighteen. He never really loved the way cigarettes smelled. He could hardly stand the taste and the constant health class lectures about them being bad for your lungs freaked him out. 

But now that he knows what it feels like to have no thoughts in his head and be left alone in the solace of smoking a cigarette in the dead of night, he thinks he gets it. 

The silence is cut in half by the sound of the rickety floorboard groaning out in a warning. He doesn’t have to peek his head inside and look around to know that it’s you. You never sleep well after a night out and even though he had to carry you up the stairs, drag a damp washcloth over your face to remove your makeup, and bribe you to stand up long enough to take out your own contacts, he should have known better than to be anywhere but in bed next to you. 

Your drunkenness has started to fade and you’ve gone down on the meter from “off your ass” to “slightly tipsy.” Him picking you up from your girls’ night at one of the clubs downtown was more than two hours ago, but he figured you would’ve came and found him by now. 

You have such a fear of missing out and while it’s not Carmen’s favorite thing about you, it does warm his heart to know that you want to spend time with him or that you’re scared he’s doing something interesting without you around. He wishes your ‘fomo’ was based on some issue that he could tangibly fix and not on what he knows is your badly bruised self-esteem. It makes his chest heavy that sometimes you can’t see how great you are; that sometimes you don’t understand why he wants you around and loves you so dearly. 

He can hear your footsteps approach the window ledge and he wordlessly holds his arm out for you to grab onto. Your fingers come out from under the blanket you’ve thrown over yourself like a shawl and grasp his like a lifeline. 

Your body effortlessly molds to him; your front pressed to his back and his unoccupied arm pulling you closer like a seatbelt on your waist. The subtle pressure on your midsection comforts you and your body lodged into his helps alleviate some of the sting he’d been suffering from the cold. 

“You’re mad at me,” you speak. Your voice is small and soft; gentle just in case he really is mad at you and this isn’t something your drunk mind conjured up as you lay in bed alone. 

He sighs and turns his head to take another drag from his cigarette. He makes sure that your hair is out of target of his smoke exhale. A subtle whine leaves your throat as he steps away from you and he grins. Carmen loves when you’re like this; when you’re clingy and being near him is never enough to satiate you. 

“M’not,” he says. You shift from one foot to the other and his eyes momentarily gaze down to make sure you put on socks before you come out here to join him.

 Even though he can’t see your face, he knows that the corners of your mouth are posed in a frown. You hate it when he doesn’t elaborate. It makes you feel shut out. He’s not helping his case of denying your accusation. You may just burst into tears if he doesn’t provide more dialogue. 

Your nasty habit of feeling like everyone is upset with you all the time is swelling. His nasty habit of smoking more cigarettes a day than he knows he needs is bulging. 

Another drag from his cigarette. Another exhale of smoke. Another attempt at trying to be better for you. 

“Can’t ever be mad at you, baby. Not with a face like that,” he croons. The words come out of his mouth so easily; endearment dipped in honey and love warmed by sunshine. Adoration is easy when it comes to you. He’s never known a peace like this. 

“Sly dog,” you mutter. The brain fog from the four tequila lemonades you downed earlier makes you slow in finding a smartass thing to say. Carmen fights the urge to poke fun at you because he knows that you’ll take him seriously. 

“I love you. I love you. I love you,” your words silently praise. 

“You make it easy,” his hold on you acknowledges. 

Your face is numb from the cold and the alcohol making its way through your system. The lips pecking a kiss against your temple can barely be felt, yet you contently hum once the damp seal of them releases the affection you’ve been longing for. He never makes you work hard for his undivided attention when he readily has it. Wordlessness crafts a cradle of comfort for you both. Soulmates in ways that soulmates usually aren’t. 

Another drag from his cigarette. Another exhale of smoke. Another show of actually being better for you. 

A beat of silence passes with the whistling of the wind. 

“Can I try?” your voice is small with unacquired confirmation of what his answer will be. 

He giggles and you’re mesmerized by the way the smoke exhales with each minuscule twitch of his chest. You turn around at the feeling and press your palms to his torso. It’s impossible not to admire him. You’re always starstruck but he makes it easy to be that way when he looks so peaceful and sweet and good. 

Good for you. Good for your heart. Good for each other. 

You make a mental note to tell him that he should wear this shirt more often but know deep down that you’ll forget to do so until it comes back clean in the laundry basket in a week. You need to work on that, you think; telling him that you love him when you feel it. Moments like this don’t last forever, and you fear for the day that the ooey-gooey feelings of love in its purest forms are fleeting. You know that Carmen makes it impossible, but you can never be sure. Much like he, you’re always half expecting the ceiling to cave in. 

“Sweet baby wants to be a smoker?” he chides. He doesn’t feel bad when you flash him a pouty frown. 

“Carm!” you gripe. Your cheek presses to his pec. You hate when he does this; when he can’t give a straight answer. It isn’t something that needs an answer, but the satisfaction of having one, of being connected to him and the inner world of his mind he tries so hard to keep from everyone, would feel nice. 

Carmen’s tattooed hand snubs the cigarette out on the dish left on the ledge of the window. His fingers curl to let his knuckles brush the hair on the top of your head. You try your hardest not to melt into his touch. He’ll have a field day if you let him have the satisfaction of making you visibly weak in the knees. 

“Didn’t even say no yet, sweetheart.” 

“Yeah, but you’re being mean. Just tell me “no” instead of making me suffer.” 

He quirks his eyebrow and brings a gentle hand to guide your chin upwards, forcing you to make eye contact with him.“Well, m’gonna if you don’t lose the ‘tude, baby.” 

The shift in his tone of voice and the forced eye contact sends a beam of warmth down to your stomach. He has a way of leaving little leeway for negotiation and argument. It’s abstract to his everyday life, but that was complicated, you know. When it’s you and him and him and you, there is never a need for a fight for dominance or a clarification of authority. You both understand each other on a level that is molecular. There is never any need for guessing. 

His finger flicks your lip playfully before swiping a calloused thumb gently on the plush of them. You had fought him so hard earlier when he tried to swipe the lipstick and liner you had put on earlier off with a washcloth. He finds it wild that you’re wide awake and coherent after witnessing the mild temper tantrum you had thrown about it not even two hours earlier. 

Carmen spots the gentle gleam in your eyes and his heart instantly softens. He sighs, momentarily taking his hands off of you and reaching back in his pocket for his carton of cigarettes and lighter. 

“Fine, but you gotta light it.” 

The aforementioned cigarette sits unlit between his lips, the end sticking out like an invitation and the filter hid between his teeth like a dirty secret. He half expects you to chicken out when he hands you the lighter. You always freaked out a little about the flame being so close to your fingers. Something about feeling the heat so close to your hand made you insanely nervous and he could never seem to fully understand. 

His expectations are exceeded when your thumbnail crafts friction with the spark wheel and the illuminated peach of his lighter of the month spurs to life. You don’t cup it with your hands to shield it from the wind. You let it grow and shrink as you lift it up to the unlit butt sticking out of his mouth. 

Your eyes watch in childish awe as the wrapped paper gives way and reveals the hearty smell of tobacco and a sunburst of ashes upon making contact with the manufactured heat. You had watched Carmen smoke hundreds of times, but something about seeing it now right in front of you kindles a spark of curiosity deep in your belly. 

“Can’t believe my sweet girl wants to puff on a cancer stick,” he says. You know that he’s joking, but his trying to get you to change your mind strikes a nerve deep within you. 

“You do it so why can’t I?” you huff, agitated with him seemingly withholding the cigarette you so desperately crave. 

“I do a lot of things you don’t do. Doesn’t mean you should be knockin’ yourself out to try ‘em.” 

You roll your eyes. “It’s just one. Don’t be so mean.” 

He pulls the stick from between his lips and creates a perfect “o” ring with the smoke in its wake. A dopey-eyed grin plants a home on his face and his eyes look deep into yours. 

Fucking show-off. 

“All it takes is one to get addicted,” he continues to smoke and the cigarette butt starts to diminish with each puff he takes, “You sure you wanna bite, sweetheart?” 

“One won’t hurt.”

His gaze lowers to your lips and back up to your eyes. “Don’t wanna end up like me. All sad and addicted to cigarettes.” 

“Carmen, please. I just want one,” you huff, lightly pushing his chest away. He moves slightly with your force and has to stifle a laugh. 

“They ever show you Teri the Smoker in health class?” Carmen takes the cigarette out of his mouth and pretends to examine it, faux and forced curiosity at the cylindrical tube sitting between his lithesome fingers. He’s not giving into you on purpose, you know, and he’ll give in eventually, you also know, but him trying to delay the gratification of getting what you want is starting to annoy you more than it usually would. 

“Yes? What does that have to do with anything?” 

He pops it back in his mouth and takes an obnoxiously long drag. “Nothing,” he breathes out the smoke with his statement, “Just funny that you know that and here you are, damn near hands and knees, gagging for a cigarette.” 

“Carmen.” 

He laughs and you can’t help but love the sound. 

“You know, it’s real fucked up of you to ask for a drag from my cigarette that I get with my hard-earned money,” he says and you roll your eyes, “You should know I love you too much to let you stick a cancer stick in your mouth.” 

“It’s just one!” you plead. 

“It’s never just one, sweetheart.” 

“Well, who says’m gonna get addicted like – like you and Teri the Smoker?” 

“The nicotine content on the carton. That’s who.” 

He’s not paying you any attention and it’s starting to ache your heart a little. You know that he’s distracted; that he’s just trying to prevent the ashes from getting on your blanket and from getting the smell of smoke in your hair, but him biting at your insistence a little less than he was previously sends a pang of gloominess through your chest.

“You smoke all the time, and if you get a hole in your throat because of that then you’re so mean.” 

His lips upturn in introspection.“M’mean?” 

“Very,” you answer dryly. 

“Humor me.” 

“Because then I’ll have to live the rest of my life without hearing your voice again and then I’ll be so sad.” 

He shrugs, half knowing that you’re joking but half expecting something more to come out of what you’re getting at. “Ehh, don’t think anyone at the restaurant would miss it.” 

“I would!” 

You smack at his chest again lightly and he remembers how touchy and wild you get after you’ve been drinking. It’s never bad or out of control, but you’re more affectionate than usual and less gentle than you normally are. 

“Yeah, baby? Gonna miss my voice?” 

“Mhm,” you purr, leaning up to get closer to his ear, “Gonna miss how you call me a good girl. And how you whine when I pull your hair and how you tell me that I’m the tightest and wettest little th-” 

“Jesus,” he laughs, playfully pushing the side of your face away as your teeth nibble a tiny bite on the thick of his palm, “Fuck off.” 

You like to play around, too. That’s also something he sees more of after a night out. He never indulges; knows you get too riled up and in your head when it goes somewhere he’s not comfortable with, but he loves it nonetheless. Being together has helped the other not be so scared of permanence. Moments like this confirm what he knows, and he realizes that you’re a saint and he wants to marry you. 

The stuff that comes along with it has been plaguing his mind as of late, but he realizes how little it matters when he sees you all happy and grateful to be around him and doing the most mundane of things. He’ll get you that ring and that house and those babies and the happiest fucking life in a heartbeat, and he’s oddly comforted by the fact that he knows you’ll let him. 

Carmen’s never been the best at not wearing his feelings on his face and you know he’s deep in thought when the banter dies and the whistling of the wind takes its place. You hope he isn’t spiraling. He tends to do that a lot. You tend to feel powerless when it happens. 

Your eyes study his face; the lightness of his irises, the spiral of curls, the slope of his nose. The tequila from earlier remains in your system, but it doesn’t change the fact that you love him so deeply. 

“You know, it’s bullshit that you’re giving me hell about putting a cigarette in my mouth.” Your voice cuts through the quiet and he starts to grin again. 

“Hey, s’only bullshit because you’re sittin’ here beggin’ and then telling me I’m gonna have a fuckin’ hole in my throat from smoking too much.” 

“I never said that it was gonna be bad, Bear. I just said I was gonna miss hearing your voice is all.” 

His free hand comes out to sit on the base of your neck. A calloused thumb draws small semi-circles on the bottom of your hairline. 

“You know, her quality of life was probably amazing,” he speaks, “Like didn’t she have kids and grandkids and friends and shit? Health class is fucked up for making her out to be the ‘throat hole lady’.” 

“You shouldn’t say that,” you grimace and he plants his lips on your forehead. 

“Yeah, you’re right.” 

You make him softer. If it was anyone else, he wouldn’t think twice about how insensitive it had come off. His therapist is always saying people can’t make you better, but she clearly hasn’t met you. 

“But that was kinda the whole point? You shouldn’t want to be like her?” you pause and the frown lines in your eyebrows write “pensive” on your face before you even realize it, “. . .Because she does have a hole in her throat. And her quality of life was just very. . .different?” 

Carmen nods. “They’re fucked up for that.” 

“Jesus, Carm. Do you think smoking is bad or not because you’re giving me soooo many mixed signals here,” you sigh, your forehead moving forward faster than you intended and hitting the bony composition of his collarbones. 

He hums softly; part listening to what you’re saying and part acknowledging that he wants to move on from what you had said. 

“Did you know that your life expectancy goes down by eleven minutes or some shit like that each time you smoke a cigarette?” he swiftly changes the subject. 

You pick your head up and narrow your eyes playfully. “Oh, you don’t even love me enough to let me smoke one so I can be put out of my misery a whole eleven minutes earlier when you die from smoking a gazillion packs a day and leave me all lonely and wrinkly.” 

“I think you’d be hot wrinkly,” he replies matter-of-factly. 

“I think you’d be hot if you let me smoke one.”

“You’re probably not gonna like it.” 

“Okay.” 

“Okay.” 

He realizes that the cigarette has pretty much burned itself out. There’s possibly one or two more drags left before he has to ash it out completely. He debates on whether he should let you have at it or silently take the last two and usher you back inside. If he chooses the former, he knows that he’ll feel bad if you don’t like it, and he worries that your realization will kickstart the unraveling of something almost perfect he’s found for himself. He can’t bear to take another loss in his life. If he chooses the latter, he knows you wouldn’t even be aware that he had smoked it entirely by himself, and that you’ll gripe and complain for the rest of the night and table the conversation for another time when he’s in a less resistive state. 

“Carm, you have to give me a puff from it,” you complain, snapping him out of his thoughts. 

He’s giving in to you. He always does. He doesn’t know why he pretends like he has free will when it comes to you. 

“C’mere,” he beckons your face closer, “And don’t use your hands. You have that blanket on and I don’t wanna have to call Chicago Fire tonight.” 

Carmen lifts his hand up to your mouth and gently laughs when you go cross-eyed to eye the filter sitting in between his pointer and middle fingers. 

“You just inhale, hold it, and then breathe back out,” he instructs. He feeds the filter to your lips before suddenly pulling it back. “Don’t choke yourself out though. That uh – that won’t be good and then you’re really not gonna like it.” 

Your neck extends to get closer to Carmen’s hand and you do what he says. You inhale, hold it, and exhale. You don’t think you’re doing it right (and he knows that you didn’t, but doesn’t say anything because he knows it’ll make you whiny) but you’re satisfied that he trusts you enough to try. 

“Took it like a champ, baby,” he cheers, “So proud!” 

He pushes the butt of the cigarette into the dish and your blanket-covered hands come up to palm his face gently. The plush of the cover feels soft against his stubble-covered cheeks, and your gazes catch each other’s. 

A moment of tranquility. A moment of peace. A moment of love. 

He so desperately wants to marry you. 

[tinytennisskirt]

Let It Linger

Summary: When post-canon divorced! Art goes back to high school for a fifteen year reunion, he’s met with strong memories of the his estranged best friend, the girl he loved those fifteen years ago. He gets caught in a rally between his past and present. A whirlwind of past yearning, casual touches, meaningful conversations and pining rushes back to him like the time never passed when he sees her again for the first time in fifteen years. Turns out not so much has changed.

Warnings: mentions of sex, alcohol, marijuana. casual touching, pining, yearning, MEGA SLOWBURN, a longer fic with time skipping between MRTA! art and POST CANON! art. AU.

Art wasn’t sure how to feel about this. He was parked outside, in some dress shirt he’d owned far too long and the black dress pants he wore for when he did pre-game press. His hands on the wheel, lips pressed into a straight line. This would be interesting, he knew it would be. He was sitting in the parking lot outside the smaller gym of Mark Rebellato Tennis Academy and he could hear the music through the walls of the car and through the open gym door, he could see a purple cast of light from inside.

It had only been fifteen years. That wasn’t much time in perspective, but fifteen years felt like a lot when he remembered who he was that many years ago.

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ- past

“My mouth, my mouth!” You called, opening your mouth and slowing your running to walking backward. Patrick tossed a marshmallow and you caught it in your mouth as the three of you ran down the hill, Patrick with a bag of marshmallows, you with the chocolate, and Art with the graham crackers.

Both boys cheered loudly and you jumped, triumphantly raising your hands above your head. Art nearly ran right into you with the momentum from the hill and you all ended up laughing way too hard at it, even with the marshmallow in your mouth. Art tried to catch his breath, his hand sliding over your waist as he passed you, trying not to stumble the rest of the way down the hill. Patrick just laughed. “I had no idea my aim was that good,” he said, teasing.

You swallowed the marshmallow, “You’re kidding? Your aim? That was all me.”

Art grinned, “I think it was a joined effort…” He played mediator. You hit him in the upper arm gently. “No, all you. All her, Patrick. Sorry.”

Patrick threw his arms up in forfeit. There was no winning against you. They both knew that. You giggled and shoved a marshmallow right in Patrick’s mouth before skipping down the rest of the hill, leaving both boys behind you. Art watched, a huge grin on his face. The three of you had found a great way to sneak out of your dorms at night. It was 11:42 and you were heading toward the back of the grounds with the ingredients for s’mores, a lighter, and matches for good measure. And maybe the remainder of a pack of cigarettes.

What good was your last year at the academy if not the one you rebel just a tiny bit? You were down the hill humming Groove Is In The Heart by Deee-Lite in your big Mark Rebellato sweater and yoga pants just happy to be out at night. You were fun, carefree, and bright, even in the dark of the edge of the property, away from all the fuss of the school. “You’re so slow!” You called out to them. Both Art and Patrick jogged to catch up to you, finding your regular spot between a few trees.

You sat on your regular log and pulled the blanket from your bag before getting up to drape it over. Patrick got to collecting the twigs from the stash and put them in the hole you three dug the first time you snuck out. Art took the seat next to you on the log, “Crazy, you have like seven tennis balls in here.” He laughed. You shook your head, nudging him just a little while he grabbed the three marshmallow skewers from your bag. He grabbed one of the balls out and threw it at Patrick.

“Can take the girl out of Mark Rebellato but can’t take the Mark Rebellato out of the girl,” Patrick said, catching the ball and throwing it back at Art. He got the fire started and lit one of the remaining cigarettes off of the growing flame. “You guys ready for that test on Monday?”

“Since when are you an academic?” You chuckled, putting a marshmallow on the end of Art’s stick.

“Since he found out Lydia Jennings is into smart guys,” Art said. You chuckled, biting your lip just gently. Art noticed.

Patrick blew smoke out the side of his mouth, “No- okay, she said she liked smart guys we all know there’s no way in hell I’m becoming a straight-A student like this one over here,” he gestured with the cigarette between his fingers to you. “She’s hot, she’s not drop-everything-and-study hot. I’m talking about the test on Monday because I know that with you two and Stanford, you’re obsessed with your grades… I am… not ready.”

You shook your head, looking up at him, “She is so drop-everything-and-study hot, you’re just picky. And I’ll lend you my notes tomorrow if you want- Art and I worked on them together, they’re pretty extensive.”

“They are good.” Art nodded, dangling his marshmallow over the embers. “You’re actually worried about it? I mean, the year is almost half-done, you’ve got time.”

He nodded, “I know, but I have to graduate to be free of this place for good. No way I’m doing that GED thing.”

“My mom did the GED thing.” You said. “She’s doing just fine. It was only a setback. Plus, if you plan on truly going pro, it won’t be a big thing. Just player trivia.” Art laughed at that, pulling his stick back to pull the marshmallow off. You had already prepped his graham cracker and chocolate and pulled the marshmallow off between them for him. Patrick watched how you two worked so wordlessly- wasn’t his focus. “I will lend you all of my notes tomorrow, it’s just a matter of reading them a few times a day and you’re set.”

Patrick shrugged, grabbing himself the things he needed for a s’more. “Thanks.”

Art nodded, “You’re lucky you’re good with a racket.”

“Rude!” You said, shoving him backward off the log. He landed on his back in the leaves and it was all-around laughter again. The dynamic was this. Shoving, pushing, insults in good fun, but caring all too much. Art knew there was nobody in the world who cared more about anything than you did. He was, as your friend, able to enjoy just how passionate you were about the things and people you liked. He pulled himself back onto the log, shaking his head at you as you dusted him off and removed the leaves from his hair. You smelled good, like fall, vanilla, and chai, almost, but with a sweetness that reminded Art of the caramel apples from the fair. He shut his eyes as your hands picked the last little bits from his hair. You pat his cheek when it was done and the conversation moved onto the new tennis coach’s really bad toupée.

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ- present

Art got out of his car, shut the door, and locked it, car keys sliding into his pocket. He stared out over the grounds, past the outdoor tennis courts, and to the point in the field where it dipped down into the big hill. He wondered if they’d ever found your makeshift fire pit, filling it with dirt, moving the logs… He glanced at himself in the side mirror of the car, remembering when his hair was longer, more golden. Part of him wondered if he would even see you tonight. Maybe he’d see Patrick, which was a more likely occurrence, Patrick wouldn’t miss something like this.

If only they made it less of a surprise who you’d run into at one of these. He guessed it would be his class, a few extras, people who had settled down bringing their fiancees, partners, husbands, and wives. He wondered if he was too dressed up? Dressed down? And he was nervous, for some reason, when he shouldn’t have been.

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ- past

“I know I shouldn’t be deciding on a dress this late but I can’t tell if this dress is too much?” You said from inside your dorm room. “I’m afraid Mark Rebellato himself will come to smite me for how much boob this dress shows off.” You spoke through the door.

Art and Patrick grinned at each other. “I’m sure it’s fine!” Art called back. Both boys had spent about twenty minutes tops getting ready for the mid-term formal. One of many formals the school so unfortunately had. “Can we see?”

“It’s not the right dress!”

“How would we know?”

The door to your room unlocked and you opened it, standing looking very unimpressed in a gorgeous purple dress. Both boys stood, a little dumbfounded for a second. “Too much?”

“No.” Both boys said in unison, gazing at you, your hair perfect, your makeup perfect.

Art blinked hard to snap himself back to reality, “You look… beautiful.” His eyes lingered a little too long on the slight shimmer to your eyelids and the gloss on your lips. Your eyes softened and you looked down at yourself again.

Patrick agreed. “Damn.” Both boys had themselves forgetting you were the same girl they called their friend on a day-to-day basis. “Mark Rebellato is rolling in his grave.”

“Is he dead?” You asked, laughing. Art didn’t find anything funny when you were standing there looking like that. He thought you were gorgeous, he could say that as your friend of a good few years, but this was breathtaking. You were.

The dance was more fun than both Art and Patrick anticipated, but you made anything fun. Patrick nudged Art’s arm as they stood off to the side with cups of punch. “She’s different this year.” He said. Both boys were watching you dance with one of your girlfriends. You were so free and you were once again the brightest thing in the whole room, purple and pink light cascading over your face and you were laughing.

Art hardly heard him. “Hm?” His eyes didn’t leave you.

“Exactly.”

Art nudged him back, seeing what Patrick was getting at. “Fuck off.” He grinned. “She’s just pretty. She’s always been pretty.”

Patrick nodded, sipping his punch, watching your dress swish around you as your friend spins you. “Too pretty.”

“Mhm,” Art sighs. The way he watches you is different from Patrick's. There’s something buried in what he feels, but he’s never acknowledged it much. Aside from when you met at twelve in a co-op game and you made fun of his ears. It honestly hurt his little feelings but Patrick found it absolutely hilarious that someone so funny-looking could say something so mean to someone else. Art laughed when Patrick defended him. But you, always so smart, nodded. And you smiled, which both boys didn’t expect. Then you apologized to Art and introduced yourself like nothing even happened. Art forgave you. There was something about you that both he and Patrick knew would make a good addition to the duo they’d formed over the first week. And it had been that way ever since. Didn’t make it easier when you stopped looking so funny and disproportionate when you turned fourteen but, being friends, it was ignorable. For the most part. They were only boys.

When presented with a slow dance, you excused yourself from the floor and came to stand with the boys, taking Patrick’s cup of punch right out of his hands and downing it. Patrick went to grab it but it was too late. You pulled a face, “Seriously?” You scrunched up your nose and Art laughed as he pieced it together.

“Didn’t give me a chance to warn you,” he chuckled. You felt the warmth spread down your throat- he’d spiked his own punch. Of course. Art, mouth agape, placed a hand on the small of your back without thinking. You just giggled and shook your head at him. Patrick took his cup back from you, sipping the very last drops. The couples and wannabes behind you continued to dance closely. “Awful, right?”

“So bad,” you giggled. Art twisted his mouth to the side, trying not to laugh too much. Your hand closed around Art’s wrist and pulled it up over your opposite shoulder and you kept talking about how gross it tasted, making fun of Patrick for spiking it so badly. If anyone sniffed it, they would have immediately known it was mostly alcohol. Art’s arm stayed around you, the perfect place for it, so it made sense to step a little closer. It’s only worth noting as something that happened because Patrick, who was used to your casual displays of closeness like this one- saw the angle Art kept his hand at so that his hand wouldn’t rest too close to your boobs. He laughed just a bit. Art just shook his head at Patrick and flipped him off with that very hand.

By the near-end of the night, you’re danced out and you asked the boys to come back with you, but Patrick had taken to chatting up Lydia Jennings, of course, so Art obliges. Patrick didn’t need a wingman, he would do fine on his own. Art holds the door for you as you leave and you’re immediately laughing as you cross the parking lot. “Fucking insane,” Art laughs, running a hand through his hair. “I always forget it’s not a school dance until Patrick sneaks in two shooters.”

“I had at least one whole shooter in that punch,” you said, knocking against him as you walked. The cool autumn air hit your bare skin and it was harsh. “It was disgusting.” Art felt you shiver just a bit beside him and he was already taking off his jacket to give to you. “He could have gone with vodka or something, spiced rum, and fruit punch is one of the worst things I think I’ve ever tasted- thank you.” You said, taking his jacket with a smile and pulling it over your shoulders.

“It was spiced rum?!”

“Yeah!” You laughed with him, still leaning against him as the two of you walked. “He ends up with Lydia Jennings she’s going to hate, hate, hate his breath. I brushed my teeth in the bathroom,” you said, pulling a pink toothbrush out of your bag. Art couldn’t help but laugh at the thing.

“Smart,” he grinned wider as you showed him the travel-sized tube of toothpaste that went with it. Art just flashed you his pack of mint gum in return and you narrowed your eyes at him. Art shoved it back in his pocket along with both of his hands. “So… you had fun tonight?” He followed up.

You smiled at him with those perfectly glossed lips parting to show teeth. “I did. However-

“There’s a however?”

“However…” You grinned, taking his hand and walking backward. You lowered your voice, pretending to be extra serious. “You need to dance more so you can dance with me.”

“You didn’t like the nodding I did? I feel like that was a lot, too much, even.” He held the door open to the other building and you mouthed another thank you as you passed him again. ”How much more do I need to do to dance with you?”

“You can always dance with me. I promise it’s a lot more fun when you’re not feeling centered out.” You told him, heading up the stairwell. It’s still early in the night so the girl’s dorms were mostly empty. “I knowww, I know how you get with it, but-”

“I’d dance with you.” He nodded, but squeezed your upper arm, “You didn’t ask me. I would have.”

“Okay then. Swear on your life right now that if I asked you, you’d say yes.”

He rubbed the back of his neck, fighting that neverending grin that lived on his face when you were around. “For what?”

“All future purposes.” You replied, stopping outside your room and leaning against the wooden door. “Where dancing is involved.” You held out your pinkie finger and Art took it before he got to question any more. You grinned and jumped a few times. “You just made the craziest promise, I’m going to make you hate me with that one.” Art just grinned.

You talked a bit more just at the door until both you and Art were wary about someone seeing him on the girl’s side of the dorms. You opened the door to your room and stepped just inside, about to say goodbye, but just one more thing before he left, you asked. For him to help you unzip your dress. Art should not have felt the way he did when you handed him back his jacket and turned around while lifting your hair. Your bunkmate had zipped it up before you had left and you had no idea when she’d be back, you explained.

Art wouldn’t say no to you. Who could? He stepped closer, met with the closer, stronger scent of your perfume and you still smelled sweet. You always smelled sweet. With gentle fingers, he took the small zipper and slowly unzipped the back of your dress. The sound of the zipper being the only thing in the empty of your room and he wouldn’t forget how when the zipper hit the bottom of its track, his finger grazed the bare skin of your back. Soft, softer than he could have even imagined. And you turned so that he wouldn’t be faced with the bare of it all, braless underneath, he could tell, and you thanked him for the night, for his jacket, for his help. Said you’d see him tomorrow. Usually, you’d hug him goodnight, but with your dress about to slip off you just smiled, making fun of the promise he’d made to you just thirty minutes ago before a real goodnight.

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ- present

Art looked over at the dorm building across the lot, looking at the exact path between cars you and him would have walked that night. His hands shoved themselves into his pockets, habit. He decided not to stand out in the parking lot anymore, swallowing hard as he allowed himself through the door and into the smaller gym, which was decorated just like the regular school dances. There were streamers and early 2000s radio hits and so many people.

It was almost immediately people recognized Art. He was possibly the most successful of the graduating class, though he hated to think it. He wouldn’t put himself above anyone. He was already getting pats on the back and he started in some small conversations but he was a little distracted.

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ- past

“They have parties at Stanford?” You said, looking at some Stanford webpage on Art’s mom’s computer. “Frats, too. Insane. Hey Art, you should join the frat.” You chuckled. Art and Patrick were playing Jenga at the coffee table, two or three of the blocks wet from falling into the eggnog.

Patrick ruffled Art’s hair, “Frat boy Art Donaldson?”

You spun in the chair, “I could join a sorority, they have those too.”

Art grinned, “Yeah? You think they’d take Patrick?”

Patrick pushed Art into the couch and the Jenga tower toppled over once again. You laughed, watching him shake his head and reach for his eggnog, once again pulling a Jenga block out of it. You came and sat next to Art on the couch, sitting on the arm. His hand mindlessly wrapping itself around your ankle as your foot rested on his thigh. Gentle, like letting you know that he’s there despite the readily available knowledge that was your being. Something sweet. Patrick took a seat on the floor in front of you both. “I think they’d take me, but you have to be a Stanford student, so you know, it’s too bad.”

“Their loss,” You smiled. “Do you think I’m pretty enough to rush a sorority when we get to Stanford?” You asked. Both boys looked at each other.

“...Yeah,” Patrick said, nodding just a little. You narrowed your eyes.

“Yes.” Art said firmly. He squeezed your ankle just a little. You smiled at that. Art’s mom called you to dinner, christmas dinner, and in seconds both boys were bolting to the dining room. You exchanged a look with Art’s mom when you got there. She was lovely and she was letting both you and Patrick stay for the holidays. Her food was amazing and the conversation was Stanford, mostly, and your tennis plans for after graduation. The application process, the fuss of getting a dorm room there, and how excited she was for you and Art to be going to the same place. She loved you, his mom. She called you her daughter when the mailman came around during the holiday season and to whoever asked. She’d been in a household of boys for far too long.

The post-dinner conversation laying on your back on Art’s bed next to him while Patrick was laid at the foot of the bed was on exactly that. “Art, I think your mom likes Y/N more than you.”

“I know,” Art replied, hands folded on his chest. He turned his head to look at you, giggling.

“I can’t help it,” you replied through your laughter. “Everyone loves me, it’s not my fault.” Nothing about that statement was false- everyone did love you. And who wouldn’t? You were kind and sweet and loving and so warm to everyone you met so of course they all loved you. There was nobody like you so everyone who crossed paths with you would never be able to forget you. Art’s smile fell, looking at your freshly glossed lips and that unforgettably beautiful smile. He’d zoned out so when you rolled onto your side, nearly onto him, his eyes widened just a bit.

“You’re jealous?” You beamed.

“Not even,” Art scrunched his nose, using a gentle hand to push you away but you returned, giggling. “She’d go insane having a real excuse to go to sales at the mall.”

“Sugar mommy,” Patrick remarked. He had way too much pie, he was half-asleep. Art just kicked him with the foot that rested closest to his chest, eliciting an ‘oof’ noise from Patrick that you giggled at.

“You’re so jealous your mom likes me more, it’s crazy, it’s crazy,” You giggled, grabbing his upper arm. Art twisted his mouth to the side, eyes flickering from the gloss on your lips, to your eyes. “Don’t worry, when she comes to visit me at Stanford, she’ll probably have enough time to see you as well. I’ll make sure of it.” You teased.

“Yeah, we’ll see about that,” Art said, pushing you back again and you just laughed madly, a laugh that was so room-filling and contagious and completely perfect. Art turned his head to look at you. You were more than sorority pretty. Who wouldn’t think so when you laughed like that?

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ- present

Art found that Lydia Jennings had three kids now. Three in fifteen years, which was a little crazy. She, of course, had pictures with her. Spitting images of her bright blonde, big-mouthed self and Art pretended to care, more than he cared to admit. There was no sign of Patrick. Lydia Jennings asked Art about his divorce, asking about his own daughter, but he had to real interest in talking about that sort of thing. Not with her. He excused himself, raising his head above the crowd to scan for anyone else he knew.

He ended up talking to an old friend who was already balding with his pregnant wife at his side. It was good to see just how well people were doing. Settling down, having quit tennis or only pursuing it on the weekends, some of them with kids in tennis classes already. Art was continuing to be congratulated on his career by even the partners of these past classmates.

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ- past

You were dancing to some Tal Bachman song and Art was internalizing every lyric. “What song is this again?” He asked, leaning back against the tree. The light from the fire was flickering around your face that was nearly hidden by the winter jacket you had on.

“She’s So High,” you replied, spinning in circles. Patrick locked eyes with Art from across the fire, giving a knowing smile. One, because you were high, so was he, so was Art- Two, because Art was completely zoned in on you, the way you moved, the way you looked. And he couldn’t help it, you were the most fascinating thing around and he’d smoked quite a bit. It was like the song was written for you, he thought, out of his mind and red-eyed. You were dancing alone, like you hadn’t even though twice, the music coming from your little portable music player thing. Art met Patrick’s eyes and Patrick raised his eyebrows, nodding at you. Art shook his head, but Patrick jumped over the fire to sit next to him anyway.

“So are you telling her or am I?” He teased, ruffling Art’s hair and Art bat him away, huge grin on his face. “So when’s the wedding?”

“Shut the fuck up, she’ll hear you,” Art chuckled, shoving Patrick over just a bit. Patrick came back laughing. “It’s not like that.”

“You really think I’m fucking stupid, huh?” Patrick chuckled, pulling Art into a bit of a headlock in return. “I’ve known you both how long?”

“Too long,” Art laughed, trying to wriggle out of Patrick’s grasp, finally escaping just to shove Patrick all the way over. He was glad you were minding your business, occupied with the song. “It’s not like that.” He repeated, still keeping his voice low.

Patrick pulled himself back up, “Tell that to your dick,” he said, taking a shot at Art’s groin that he gladly blocked just to sock Patrick in his. Patrick doubled over just for a second and Art laughed a bit too hard, the fry of the weed that burned his throat making him cough. Patrick couldn’t stop laughing at the coughing and being high, everything was a lot funnier. It took a minute for them to stop laughing over the stupidity. Patrick sighed heavily, looking over at you still dancing mindlessly to a song by Avril Lavigne, then back at Art, who was trying to regulate his breathing, also staring at you again. “Maybe not always your dick but definitely your eyes. I’ve never seen anyone with bigger heart-eyes, it’s sickening.” He said.

Art looked at Patrick and twisted his mouth to the side. “I don’t think so. She’s just…pretty.” His eyes gazing back to you, spinning in your fluffy winter coat, swaying, firelight flickering over your face, defining your features in shadow.

“Uh-huh… You really think I don’t know?”

“There’s nothing to know,” Art replied, pulling his eyes off of you again.

Patrick shook his head, adding more to the fire, hand still over his groin as the pain continued to die down. He kept his voice low, “Fuck off with that. It’s bullshit. I know it, you know it. You spend more time with her than me, she’s your partner for every co-op game, your mom loves her, you look at her like I’ve never seen you look at anyone.” He chuckled, “And you so want to fuck her.”

“Not as much as I want you to fuck off,” Art chuckled. “Okay, well, I mean- I might. She’s gorgeous, yeah, but I don’t think I could ever tell her anything. She’s perfect, too perfect and we’re friends. We’re her best friends, it would fuck everything up.”

“So you don’t even try? I’ve seen you ask for girl’s numbers within forty minutes of knowing them, it’s unlike you to not even try.”

“She’s different,” Art replied, looking down at his hands. “I couldn’t. I make a move and she doesn’t want it, we’re fucked forever.”

“And you don’t make a move and you’ll never know,” Patrick replied. The weed made him oddly thoughtful. “I’ve seen you two with my own eyes there’s something there, I swear to god there is. You can’t just let things play out, you’re going to miss your chance. Think about Stanford next year, all the college guys hitting on her and you know they will, she’s Y/N… Fifteen years down the road she’s married to some frat guy she met at a rager and you’ll be wishing you told her while you could.”

The silence between them was filled by your music and humming. Art looked at you, eyes closed, lips glossy, boots in the dirt. And for the first time he let himself think that he could never want anyone more than he wanted you. He would never see past you, he wouldn’t ever feel this way about anyone else and in the moment, through the weed, it felt real. You, perfect, gorgeous, here.

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ- present

Art glanced around the room, feeling some familiar fire burning in the pit of his stomach. It felt oddly highschool, it felt oddly familiar. He wondered if you had kept up with tennis, he wondered if you had a husband and kids, he wondered if you’d gained weight, lost weight, changed your hair, were going just a little grey, even. He was nervous- that’s what he was and he could place that. It was then that he saw Patrick, coming in through the door across the room.

Art, over Tashi, had put her in the past, including what Patrick had done. Him and Patrick didn’t keep up much other than a few texts and meeting at the bar a few times, but the hard feelings were pretty much gone. Art started making his way over to his old friend just to be grabbed by another ex-classmate who wanted to catch up. He was faced with more pictures of kids and meeting someone’s wife and Art wasn’t so bothered to talk about his own daughter, he’d always take that opportunity. She was the best thing he currently had.

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ- past

You and Art sat on the bleachers in the gym, just having finished a co-op game, having won, of course. You both showered and got dressed again and met back up. The air was warming up, mid-spring and Art had still not told you yet. He decided he would at the end of the year and see if you’d make the first move, just to be safe. It didn’t weigh on him- he’d been friends with you for ages, liked you for ages, so it was a secondary thing.

“Hoping my tennis career is enough to buy an old victorian home,” You said, packing your things into your gym bag.

“I remember you saying that,” Art said, hauling your bag onto his shoulder along with his own. It wasn’t abnormal to have him carry your bag. It was sweet. “You want a blue one. Well, blue-grey.” He said. You looked at him, a little surprised he remembered the blue-grey thing. “With the white trim. I remember things.”

You nudged him just a little bit as you passed him. “I’m surprised, after so many tennis balls have hit you in the head.”

“And whose bad aim is at fault?” He teased back. You held the door for him and went out into the early afternoon sun.

You rolled your eyes at him with that gorgeous smile. “Bad aim, uh huh. Who’s to say it’s not on purpose?”

“Y/N!” Your girl friend called, bounding over. “My hair tie broke and I can’t go all the way back to the dorms in time for scrimmage, do you have an extra?” Art watched your full attention go to this girl, linking hands with her and everything. He watched you take the hair tie off of your wrist, the purple glittery one that you swore was your favourite. “Hi, Art.” She tucked her hair behind her ear, noticing him standing there. Art just raised his hand in a subtle wave.

“Of course,” you said, pulling the purple sparkly hair tie off and giving it to her, no questions asked. “Do you need anything else? I have a redbull in my bag if you wanted that before your scrimmage?”

“Really?” She asked. Art lowered your bag for you and you unzipped it, pulling the redbull out and handing it to her as she finished tying her hair up. All Art could wonder was how could anyone not love you when this was who you were? Art knew that purple hair tie was your favourite and you gave it up, just like that, and didn’t even ask for it back later. And your redbull that Art watched you go through your coins for six miinutes counting literal dimes and pennies to get it from the vending machine was in this girl’s hand just because you thought to offer it. You were kind and beautiful and Art moved the date up a little in his head- the date that he’d tell you how he felt. For now, he dug his free hand into his pocket and pretended like you weren’t absolutely perfect.

Saying goodbye to the girl, you and Art resumed your walk back to the main building. “You know Abbey, right?”

“Her?”

“Yes, her,” you giggled. “Don’t tell her I told you this, but she keeps asking me about you. Your favourite colour, song, movie, all of it.” You explained, gesturing with your hands and leaning against him as you two walked. “She likes you.”

Art was only half-surprised. But was more surprised at you bringing it up. “Likes me how?”

“Exactly in the way you think,” you replied. “I’m always down to play wingwoman, but I did tell her all the wrong information.” Your smile turned into a bit of a cringe. Art liked that even in your full care and support, you were just a little evil. Plus, what harm was it really? Art was only seeing you. He couldn’t spend a second on anyone else. Seemed impossible. “She thinks you’re a huge fan of Green Day.” Art couldn’t help but grin.

“Yeah?” Art set down your things at a table in the cafeteria and the two of you got in line for food. “Playing interference?”

“Uh-huh,” you said, bowing so your head nudged his arm. The smile that pulled at your lips was one you appeared to want to suppress. A strand of your hair, wet, fell in your face and Art wasted no time moving it behind your ear. Your eyes met his as your smile broke into full action and your eyes fell back to the ground. Sometimes… just sometimes, he felt maybe you were worth ruining the friendship.

Your lower lip between your teeth, you grabbed a tray for him before you grabbed your own.

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ- present

Art finally made it over to Patrick, who looked decent. He shaved a bit, cleaned up just enough. Art thought about how strange it was to be back here with him after all this time. It almost felt right, was just missing you. “Hey, man.” Patrick said, reaching forward and locking hands with Art in a quick greeting.

“Hey,” Art replied. “It’s good to see you.”

“You too,” Patrick replied. “See anyone worth talking to?”

“Not really. Lydia Jennings has three kids now, in case you were looking forward to that,” he chuckled. “She doesn’t look bad though. I didn’t check for a ring either, so.”

Patrick chuckled, hands in the pockets of his dress pants, wearing virtually what was the grey version of Art’s outfit. “Not for me.” He said. “I actually- I ran into Y/N in the parking lot. I thought maybe you’d be looking for her tonight.” Patrick added. Art hated the way his stomach did a little flip as if he wasn’t a full-grown man with a failed marriage and a daughter.

“She came?”

“Yeah, she headed in here before me. She’s good, she hasn’t aged much, it’s weird. You know what they say about the way good people age…” He added. “She’s in purple, said we’d talk more later but she was excited to be here.”

Art swallowed hard, “I’ll keep an eye out. Thanks, man.”

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ- past

When Patrick left early to hang out with Lydia Jennings, swearing he was going to ‘get some’, it left you and Art in the boy’s room. How they’d been bunkmates for six years running you had no idea, having been room with at least four different girls. Their room was decorated with sports posters, tennis awards and medals, and Star Wars memorabilia. You weren’t supposed to be there, but oh well. “You think purple is my colour?” You asked Art, going through the nail polish you had in your bag, buried under the bag of cheetos you brought over.

“Hm?” Art slid off his bed and onto the floor where you sat, your back to the edge of his mattress. “Yeah. The medium one, though. Not the dark one.” He said, pointing to the bottle he liked better. You shot a small smile his way before grabbing that one.

“I haven’t painted them in ages,” you said, doing a bit of a jazz hand really close to his face and then pressing your hand to his cheek. Annoying, or trying to be, but casual. Art scrunched his nose and batted your hand away, though he really didn’t want to. “So about Abbey.”

“Your friend?” Art adjusted the way he sat. His knee overlapped yours.

“Mhm,” you replied,beginning to paint your nails. “Did she end up talking to you after class yesterday?”

Art thought back to after class when he was on his way to his next class to meet up with you and Patrick. She had come up to him, but he almost immediately shut her down. “Was she supposed to?”

You smiled, “Yes. I told her to ask you about your favourite Star Trek episode.”

Art grinned, you were still playing interference. He wondered why. “I brushed her off… I didn’t think anything of it I was on my way out.” He grimaced a little and you looked up from your nails, trying not to laugh. “I don’t think I was too rude…”

“Where were you off to in such a hurry?”

“You- And Patrick.” He saved himself. “I had someplace to be! Plus, she’s not really my type.”

“And what is that type? Girls with purple fingernails, maybe?” You laughed- Art wondered what you meant by that because at this very moment there was nothing you said that had ever been more true. “Your future girlfriend is going to hate me.” You followed up. Art’s heart sunk just a little at that. You then mumbled something under your breath that Art didn’t catch.

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ- present

Art caught up a bit with Patrick, who was interested to hear that his daughter was just getting into tennis, but really liked ballet. Patrick himself had still not settled down, but he’d landed a good job adn was now making decent money, enough to find himself a good apartment. He talked about this girl he’d met at the mechanic and Art didn’t mind the tale of it all, but he did glance around every few minutes to see if maybe you’d be nearby or even come to speak to them. They way you’d left things he wondered if you’d say anything to him at all.

It’s not like you left things horribly… But he knew the way things went just weren’t ideal and that was the problem. It was the lack of grace in the process of losing touch.

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ- past

“Patrick held both envelopes up. “Saw these on the mail piles, grabbed them before mail day.” He said. You, who had been mindlessly playing with Art’s curls on the couch in the corner of the library, and Art, who was pink from just how intimate the feeling had been, both perked up. Patrick shot a look additional to the excited expression he wore and Art just flipped him off. “They’re yours.”

You and Art looked at each other, Art tilting his head back to do so. Both of you scrambled from where you sat to grab the envelopes Patrick held, huge grin on his face. “Stanford Tennis,” you breathed. Art pressed his lips together. “Acceptance letter?” You questioned. Patrick shrugged, but continued to grin.

Art shook his head, “Should we open them? I mean- same time? Or?”

“I feel sick,” you said, words overlapping his. “Oh my god.” You pressed your hand to your stomach. “I knew they’d be here soon but this is so… late. I was getting scared I wouldn’t get anything, we got something… We got something.”

“Yeah,” Art nodded, big crooked grin on his face. “Together?”

You swallowed, sitting back down, then standing right back up again. “No, you first.”

Patrick sat on the couch, ready to watch both of his friends excitement, arm up on the arm of the couch. “Hurry up!” He kicked Art in the back of the knee and Art didn’t even feel it, opening the big envelope. He narrowly avoided a paper cut. You paced a short distance, back and forth, back and forth anxiously. He unwrapped the papers, eyes scanning over the letter.

“Fuck yeah!” He exclaimed, all too loud for the library. He didn’t care though. “I’m in!”

You gasped and your grin was the first thing Art looked for. Your arms up and around his neck, so excited for him. “That’s amazing, I’m so so proud of you!” You exclaimed, also so loud. Art’s arms around your waist, squeezing you tight as you kissed his cheek enthusiastically. Patrick was there to clap him on the back, hugging Art when you let go. Art was glad for it- it helped hide how pink he went from just the kiss on the cheek. You were jumping up and down and you were beautiful and you were happy. It would be one of the last times Art saw you so happy.

“What about you?” He gestured to your envelope and you looked down at it like you’d forgotten you were holding it.

“I- I can’t, one of you has to do it,” you said. It was for sure. You’d met with the faculty there, the coaches, you were scouted two years ago when you weren’t even old enough to apply and the second you knew you loved tennis you knew Stanford was the best place for you. Patrick took your envelope for you, opening it as you nervously bit your lip, swaying into Art, letting your fingers intertwine with his just to have something to brace yourself. He squeezed your hand, smiling at his own acceptance, knowing that if anyone had it in the bag was you. But Patrick read it over and there wasn’t a grin- in fact the smile he did have fell just in the slightest. Art felt your hand squeeze his harder.

“What is it?” You asked. Art looked at Patrick, who then looked up at you with sorry eyes. “Patrick?”

“You’re- um-” he paused another moment and handed you the papers. “Waitlisted. I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

Art watched your colour drain. The obvious bright light you brought by just entering a room dimmed as you read it yourself. Art could feel the slight tremor in your fingers, so he squeezed your hand as hard as he could, just so in the new wave of overwhelming sadness, you’d know he was still there. He felt guilty for celebrating so soon.

“I’m waitlisted.” You repeated, monotone. “And not even until next semester. Next year. And even then there’s no guarantee.”

Art didn’t wait another second, he used the hand he held to pull you in. You didn’t resist, you couldn’t, you felt limp as Art wrapped his arms around you. Patrick’s hand on your back for just a moment, but Art’s hand on the back of your head and the other running up and down your back. His crush on you was unaffected by this hug because he knew that you needed it more than anything. You were the one with the plans, you were the one who knew exactly how things would play out and Stanford was the first step on every path you’d imagined. Knowing you so long, both boys knew you were right to cry.

Art held you, standing, for as long as you needed- his arms around you stayed tight and didn’t waiver once in the thirty minutes you stayed there. He was quiet, Patrick was just cursing Stanford for being fucking stupid and though Art agreed with him on that, because who in their right minds would look at your grades and your tennis stats and say they didn’t want you? Who wouldn’t want you?

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ- present

When Art saw you from across the room it felt like he was eighteen again. He’d anticipated feeling nostalgic for a time, but you were there and you were in purple, like Patrick said and he knew it was you from the smile you wore, reuniting with what looked to be a very-pregnant Abbey Campbell. Good for her, Art though, seeing past the bump and looking at you. Patrick was right- you’d aged like fine wine or whatever that saying was, but you were still youthful and you were still… bright.

“You should talk to her,” Patrick said, noticing where Art’s eyes had landed. As if he hadn’t been watching Art scan every five minutes during their conversation. “You haven’t seen her since…”

“September 2006,” Art replied, looking at Patrick.

“Have you kept in touch at all, or?”

“No.”

“Oh. Well fuck.”

“Yeah,” Art nodded, eyes not leaving you. You were different, older, for sure but not in ways noticeable. Many of the men in the room had grown into bigger bodies and were either unfortunately balding or had already gone bald for some. Mid-thirties you wouldn’t think it, but it was there. And you were there, looking youthful and bright and you were still one of the prettiest girls in the room. Women… in the room. He gestured to you, eyes not leaving you, scared to lose track of where you were. “I’m going to-”

“Good luck.” Patrick pat Art on the back to send him off and Art, drink in hand from his stop by the food table, walked over to you, ignoring everyone who wanted his attention this time.

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ- past

“You’re not telling her at graduation? You’re fucking joking.” Patrick said, shoving Art back onto his bed as the boys got dressed for one of their last classes at MRTA. “How fucking stupid are you, you can’t just not tell her.”

“I tell her and I ruin our friendship while I get to go to Stanford in the fall. I can’t do that to her.”

“You sound like a fucking idiot,” Patrick said.

“Okay, yeah, maybe, but even if I tell her and it goes well, we would only have the summer before I move all the way to fucking California. You’ll be on tour and this whole… thing would just be broken. And fucked up. I don’t want her for a summer, Patrick. I want her all the time, every day, like it was supposed to fucking be. I don’t want her for just a summer.” Art huffed, looking at his hands. The whole waitlisting bullshit threw a wrench in everything. Everything.

“You’d rather not have her at all?”

“I-” he flailed his hands around, “I don’t know! I don’t know how to tell her something like that and then move away.”

Patrick shrugged, “Could just kiss her.”

Art opened his mouth to speak and a knock on the door cut him off. Art pulled his shirt over his head as Patrick lunged to open it. It was you. Who else?

“You guys want to cut class?” You asked, arms folded over your chest, mouth pulled a little to the side, standing in your shorts and tank top, not dressed for class at all. Your hair was behind your ears, your lips just slightly glossy and you had that slight sparkle to your eyelids, but it was never too much. He would never get over just how beautiful you were, never ever. “I don’t feel like going today and I just want to do something fun or maybe even nothing?”

“That sounds great, but I actually was looking forward to doubles today…” Patrick groaned, putting a hand aside his head. Art knew him well enough to know Patrick was not looking forward to doubles. “But Art already has all his credits, I think he can stay. I’ll come back before dinner though?”

You nodded slightly and looked to Art, who still had his mouth a little open at the sudden position he was in. “Would you? I really don’t feel like going but I can just skip and meet you guys for dinner?”

Art nodded back at you, slowly. Patrick was playing wingman with expectations this time. ‘Could just kiss her,’ echoed around his head. He made eye contact with Patrick who, out of your line of sight, shot Art a telling look. He was giving Art a window. But skipping with you, being alone with you wouldn’t change the fact that when September came you’d be states away, alone, probably. The long distance would be hard and he knew he could maintain the friendship, but if he confessed and it went well, the long distance of a new relationship would probably kill him. And you. “Yeah, I’ll stay.” Art said.

When Patrick left for class, you came into their room and sat down on Art’s bed, next to him. You weren’t exactly yourself, the way you sat with your arms crossed and lacked that gorgeous smile Art looked forward to every day. You sat so close he could smell the sweetness of your perfume. “You okay?” he asked, looking at you with his head a little tilted, smiling gently.

“I can’t get the Stanford thing out of my head,” You admit. Art nodded. You’d been good about it. It upset you, he knew that it absolutely killed you, but you didn’t talk about it much- for Art’s sake, not wanting to depress him and Patrick with your delayed dream. “I know it’s stupid, I’m only waitlisted a year, but it was supposed to be different. They said I was a shoo-in, how could they say that and not mean it?” You vented. Art heard every word.

“They’re missing out for sure.” He said, hand sliding over your knee to rest just above it. “And Patrick is right- they’re fucked in the head and you deserved that place in the program more than anyone else.”

“Even if I deserved it, even if they’re fucked in the head, I’m still not going and that’s whats killing me.” You said, looking at him with sad eyes. He missed when they were full of light and happiness. “You know, it was supposed to be us. And now it’s not and I don’t know what I’m going to do without you- And Patrick.” Was Art mishearing or was there a pause? And us? Us. “I just feel so stupid and I’m suddenly so lost? I knew exactly what was coming and then it just stopped coming. And I’m terrified that I’m going to lose you both when we all go separate ways.”

“Couldn’t lose me.” Art said, eyes locked on yours. “I might be in California, but I have a phone. And it has a ringer and we have email and facebook and I don’t think I’d even know how to go a day without talking to you, so you know if you didn’t call, I would.” He said, admitting a little too much. “Patrick too, I bet.”

“I love that,” you smiled just a bit. “I just… I was so ready for things to change, but now I’m not. Even if I call you a hundred times in a day, would it feel the same?”

Art looked at the hand he had on your leg, at his thumb as it moved back and forth over your skin. “Probably not… But it would be the best thing until you come and visit. Or when I come home on holiday. It would just be to fill the spaces between, you know that the distance would mean nothing once we’re all together again.”

You looked down. “I know. I just don’t want it.” You sighed, leaning your head against Art’s shoulder. Art could smell your shampoo, it was soft and just as sweet as your perfume. “I’d just... I hate the idea of having to miss you. Distance fucking sucks.” You added. He agreed. Distance would suck. But right now you were here, next to him. He wouldn’t kiss you, he knew that. Not now.

But he turned his body just slightly and wrapped his arms around you, your head moving to just under his chin, resting against his chest. And he held you tight, he always would. And he didn’t resist his other urge, slowly tilting himself back so that he was laying down. You didn’t protest, you just held onto him tighter, laying next to him. Like most things between you two, they went unspoken. You in his arms, in his bed, god it was so telling but you didn’t say a thing. And neither did Art, aside from, “I don’t want it either.”

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ- present

You didn’t seem to notice when he approached. You were heavily invested in your conversation with your friend, laughing and gesturing and you were even more beautiful up close. He could admit it to himself, he was amazed by how well-preserved you’d been. He maybe was expecting a bit of a grey streak, he remembered your mom being fully grey when you were only a teenager, but your hair was perfect. He was just a little bit to the side, in Abbey’s line of sight and she saw Art first, she looked happy to see him, he noted. Too happy for someone with a baby on the way. She put her hands up in the air like she meant anything to him and you looked over at him, seeing what Abbey was so delighted to see and for the first time in fifteen years, you locked eyes with Art.

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ- interlude

Art remembered the last time you looked at him. Confused eyes, sad ones, the ones he hated seeing, the ones he knew he caused. It wasn’t supposed to be the way it was. Your best friend felt like he just… wasn’t that anymore. Missed texts to missed calls after promises of hundreds in a day felt like lack of care. And it wasn’t on your end. When Art missed your calls, you stopped looking at your phone so much and you missed his. You visited him twice at Stanford, within the first few months and it was the same but he was so busy. So distracted, it seemed. You met Patrick’s girlfriend, Tashi Duncan and the only thought in your mind was that she looked at Art strangely. So when things unravelled, you asked him things and he answered honestly, leaving out the part that he knew went against his character. He was looking at you, thinking about how he should have kissed you at the airport before going to California but he was looking at a girl who wouldn’t kiss him. Not anymore.

And he missed you like he missed no one- when you stopped responding to his emails and Facebook posts. Your last post was October 4th, 2006, and it was a picture of you at a coffee shop you were beautiful, but Art was so lost on the guy next to you. He should have kissed you at that airport but he was tangled in this mess of Tashi who he had admittedly used to try and not miss you so much when you posted with one of your new guy friends, who you did not like romantically. But Art didn’t know that. He didn’t know how badly it hurt when you traveled to California to find him completely happy and distracted in a new life with new friends and forget that you were coming to visit. That hurt. He should have kissed you at the airport when he could before all of these things crashed and collided and brought you down. He was at fault, but you forgave him, you just didn’t speak again.

Patrick said it was fine, you’d come around. Art’s mom told him that you called to check in on her, but that growing apart does happen. He would ask himself how in the world did he end up growing apart from you. You of all people, but admittedly it was his own fault. These things just happen, distance ruins things.

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ- present

But there wasn’t much distance now. You were standing in front of him. Your expression didn’t change- it was a gentle smile upon laying eyes on him. Abbey asked him how he was and just like years ago, he brushed her off with a ‘would you excuse me?’ and passed her, sheepishly walking over to you.

“Hi, Art,” you said, head slightly tilted, lips pulled into that smile he hadn’t seen in years. Art felt shy around it, he hated that, but he was happy to see it. And you.

“Hi,” he replied.

You gestured to Abbey, “Reminds me of something.”

“I was thinking the same thing,” he replied with a small chuckle. “I-um… How are you?”

“I’m doing okay,” you nodded. Art found himself glancing for a ring on your finger or maybe a baby bump he missed, but nothing. You were doing okay. “Oh, no ring.” You said, holding up your hand. “Wasn’t so lucky. How are you?”

He shook his head, still a little dazed that you were here in front of him, talking to him like you hadn’t gone fifteen years without doing so. “Not so bad.”

“That implies that there’s some bad,” you nodded, leaning against the wall. Your dress reminded him of another you’d worn. “Not so bad?”

“I’m okay…” He said. “Just… I didn’t think I’d see you tonight.” As if he hadn’t spent every moment since RSVP-ing thinking about seeing you again. Finally seeing you again.

“Oh,” you nodded, understanding. “No, I get that. I didn’t think you’d come. Thought maybe you were busy winning some grand slam, too far ahead than the rest of us. It was a good win, your last big game in Chicago.”

“You kept up,”

“I couldn’t not. I’m not me if not nosey and that aside, your name all over everything tennis-related- billboards, even. You and Tashi.”

“You must have heard about the separation, then?”

“On the tennis new channel, surprisingly. Fuck them for making that public, and I am sorry.”

“It’s fine.” He replied, eyes not leaving yours. “It just wasn’t working out. She cheated.” He admitted, which he hated. Something about your eyes was a well-working trap for him to fall back into the exact boy he used to be in your presence. He wanted to tell you everything, he forgot what it felt like to be around you. But you weren’t different at all. You were still that same warm, caring girl you used to be.

“Art, I’m so sorry, that’s terrible. Nobody deserves that.” You said, eyes soft. Beautiful.

“It’s in the past.” He nodded again, looking at the ground. They hadn’t changed the gym floors since you’d left, he noted. They were the same. “Thank you, though. I actually, um, I have a daughter, though.”

“Lily,” you smiled. “I’m nosey, I told you. Is she much like you?”

“I think so.” He smiled back. You knew his daughter’s name and you knew about the divorce yet he had no idea what you’d been up to. “So, are you… working, are you…”

“I am.” You nodded. “I teach children with special needs how to play tennis, it’s a great job. Lots of fundraisers and events. It’s really lovely.” Art remembered when you were younger. You’d mentioned something of the sort- doing that. He couldn’t help but wonder if you had joined a company or made one. But he wouldn’t ask, the small talk was already killing him. “About your daughter though, I’d love to know more.”

He wanted to know more about you but he liked to talk about Lily and her hobbies and habits. It felt good to talk to you again as you engaged with him as if fifteen years was three months. It was strange, but the feeling of being around you and your light again, it was easy to brush it all off. Like he was eighteen and you were an addictive happiness. You were smiling as he spoke about his daughter. You were smiling so much that he had to stop at one point, unable to hide his own smile. “What?”

Your eyes went a little wide, but you kept smiling, shaking your head. “Oh, nothing. I just… I always knew you’d be a girl dad. And you seem like a good one.”

“Always knew?”

“Oh yeah, I think I first thought about it in grade ten… A girl knows these things.” You said. Your body language changed slightly, you tilted your head to the door. “Hm- Do you still smoke?”

“Do you?”

“When I need to.” You said. “It’s not a habit, it’s an occasional thing. Come with me?”

Art was surprised by the offer. But how could anyone say no to you? He nodded and followed you out. You stopped outside your car, a decent distance away from the building and hopped on the trunk, sitting like you would so many years ago. Your car was nice, so you must make good money, he noted.

“How are you really?” You asked Art, eyes genuine as you lit the cigarette. Art, focused on you, didn’t know how to answer that. He was wondering how you weren’t someone’s wife or mother because even after all these years, he couldn’t find flaw in you. Not one. You were still sweet and kind and lovely and you looked amazing, so how did nobody find you and keep you? You asked him how he really was as if you still saw through him. “You’re really doing okay?”

Art took the cigarette as you passed it to him. “I’m okay. It wasn’t easy- any of it, but it happened and it’s in the past.”

“That’s good.” You said, watching him take a drag. The soft wind blew your hair around your face. “I am sorry about what happened, it sounds awful. I had to check in, really check in. But that aside, you’ve really made a name for yourself out there. Big games, high stakes and a good reputation.”

Art nodded, eyes on the ground as he inhaled again and passed the cigarette back. Something about being here with you was surreal. You’d kept up and he had no way to do the same. “Thank you. I planned on retiring three years ago, but second wind came around. I plan on retiring next year, thinking about starting to coach.”

“You’d be a good coach,” you nodded, smoke blowing out from between your perfect lips.

“Maybe…” He started. Silence.

You nodded, “You’re thinking about the elephant in the… parking lot.” You said, looking around.

“I might be,” he replied, straightening himself out. “It’s been fifteen years and you’ve not said a word to me since… And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think about it. I’ve had a lot of time to.” Art rolled up his sleeves. You watched. “Fifteen years.”

“I know,” you replied, quiet. “But you have had an amazing career and you married the girl I was so worried about, had a daughter. Your life has been exactly what you wanted, that’s amazing. Could it have been the same with me in it?” Art wished it was you in it. “So I let time be time and do it’s thing, I know it’s been fifteen years.”

Art shook his head, “It couldn’t have been a space thing. Maybe I needed the space, but it was bound to exist anyway. We were best friends, you, me, Patrick- and Stanford changed things but you didn’t have to walk away. My life has been my life but it’s not that way because you walked away.”

You chuckled, “I know that. And I am beyond proud of you either way, but me, eighteen years old and in love with you? Showing up after a month of planning and you forgot I was even coming? Just about broke me. And of course, there was Tashi and-” You had more to say but Art felt all of his thoughts come to a halt. His fingers felt cold. He interrupted you-

“In love with me? You were in love with me?”

You laughed, so genuine, the sound was something he had missed sorely. “That’s even a question? Oh, I was so young, but I was very much in love with you. Patrick would never let me forget it. I had such a crush on you. You… you didn’t know?” You covered your mouth as you laughed, but Art felt a little bit frozen, but it was easy to laugh with you.

“I didn’t know, no.”

“So the fifteen years is because after you broke my little eighteen-year-old heart, I took the time to recover and I just… never did.” You admit, handing him back the cigarette, which he took without looking at. He was only seeing you. Part of him was kicking himself hard, angry that he hadn’t confessed when he had planned, knowing now, so many fucking years later than if he had said what he wanted to, he might have had you. There were the complications, but if he had you, there wouldn’t have been a Tashi situation. And in his mind he watched the possibilities unravel his life as he knew it- knowing that it could have been you. It could have been you. “As sorry as I am about it, I don’t regret it. You have an amazing-sounding daughter and the life that you and I used to talk about, going pro… And I have a job that I only got through staying on this side of things. If I was in California, I wouldn’t have met the sweet lady who started the company I own now.”

He hated that you were right. But he hated it more that he could have had everything he really wanted- the things you and him talked about- and it could have been with you. A house, a marriage, a child? The things he really wanted. He couldn’t bring himself to feel regret, but it was something close to the feeling. “I understand. I just- you liked me? Patrick knew?” His whole adult demeanour was destroyed by your youthful smile.

“He would play wingman,” you said. “It was awful, but it was still fun. And I think I should tell you, though it feels wrong, that I missed you. And I am sorry I didn’t reach out. It was too much.”

“You don’t have to be sorry,” he nodded back. “I missed you too. A lot. It took a while to get over what happened, but it’s been good…”

“I’m glad,” you replied. The cigarette was almost at it’s end. And for a while you just stared at each other. The words unsaid filled the air until it was almost suffocating. He could have had you. If he had said something. If he’d kissed you at the airport. Tashi might have been Patrick’s. Art hated to think about a world without his daughter but it was you. It was always going to be you no matter how many years passed. “I hate to ask this for the sake of my phrasing, but… no hard feelings?”

Art smiled down at his feet, hands back in his pockets, “No, no hard feelings.” He replied. “And for what it’s worth, I’m proud of you too.”

You smiled that beautiful smile, the wind blowing your hair a little more. There was something so painting-like about this moment. It could be frozen in time, he wished it could be, and he made a mental note to engrave this image of you in his mind. You were just as gorgeous as the day you left and sure, it hurt to think about a little bit, especially all of the ‘what if’s, but you were here now. And there were no hard feelings. How could he ever have any toward you? It was you.

“You want to head back in?” You asked, digging a foldable toothbrush out of your purse along with a tiny tube of toothpaste.You truly not changed much in your ways. Art wondered if you remembered the last time you’d brought a little toothbrush and toothpaste out. He dug in his own pocket and pulled out his pack of mint gum. He noticed the way your eyes widened at the parallel. But then you just grinned, starting to laugh as you half-brushed your teeth, half giggled. Art chuckled too, popping a piece in his mouth. And the laughter lasted a while. It was like you were the same giddy teenagers who wouldn’t tell each other their biggest secret. But eventually it died down and you headed back inside.

The moment you were inside, he noticed the song playing. So did you. You stood there for a moment, not looking at anyone but him. The Cranberries playing loud over dusty speakers. The only Cranberries song you ever liked, Art remembered. You couldn’t stand the voice cracks in the one about zombies… He was a little confused when you held your hand out, but when you smiled, he remembered. In the spirit of parallels, you were asking him to dance. He remembered the promise he made you, he wouldn’t forget it. He had pinkie promised and you swore to make him regret it, but he never got the chance to. You never gave him a real reason to.

“You pinkie promised.” You said, tilting your head just in the slightest. “You swore.” You said it a little sing song. Fifteen years forgotten- they didn’t exist. You were here and you were asking him to dance with you.

“I did,” he said, smiling, hands still in his pockets. And he did take your hand and with a youthful giggle, you pulled him to the dance floor. It was one of those songs where you could scream the lyrics, you could spin and you could maybe even jump, but you just stayed close. Art wasn’t sure what exactly to do, but it was okay. You led at first, swaying just a little to get him into it. He grinned, unable to stop it. Fifteen years felt like seconds, like you never even left. Like you were those same young best friends dancing around your feelings, your truth. And you were so beautiful, spinning and swaying and your dress following you as you did. You laughed and it was melodious, you were so unaware of the eyes on you, of Patrick’s eyes. They met Art’s from across the room and a knowing smile spread up his old friend’s face. He raised his drink in their direction and Art nodded back.

Time might have made Art a little bit harder, colder, but you made him right back into who he used to be before life existed. Your light was brighter than the strobes spinning the walls of the room. You got him into it with a nearly-sixteen-year-old promise. The music loud, but just dull enough to hear you. Art was drawn back into you like you were a magnet. It didn’t matter that he didn’t have you. That he didn’t get that life with you. But you were here and you were still so perfect.

The dancing had somehow melted itself into something slower, though the pace of the song didn’t change. It was almost a hug, the way his hand slipped around your waist. It felt familiar and you… smelled the same way you used to. So sweet. Your arms around his neck, close to him. It wasn’t even a thought in either one of your brains that you ended up this way, but it felt right and you just did it, so that’s how you were. Swaying, like a slow dance, and the end of the song rolled around, the music dulling to only an instrumental.

You pulled away just a little, your faces just a little bit close. “I think it’s best we went our separate ways. It would have killed to me to stay your friend and watch you and Tashi’s life in person rather than in pictures.” You said quietly. “And if I’m honest I think I might still be a little bit in love with you.”

Art met your eyes at your confession. You looked like you regret what you said, but the concern in your eyes changed, eased. You could still read his expression. “I did love you too, you know.”

“I know.” You smiled. He grinned a little sheepishly, his grin still the same. His eyes were soft and he looked at you like he always did. Such a familiar gaze. “And I’m sorry.”

“Why?”

“For still feeling the way I do. After what I did.”

“You’re not alone in it.” He admit with a small chuckle. And you giggled. And it felt like nothing else existed in the entire universe. Just you. Just him. He wasn’t blunt, but it was definitely still said. It really could ever only be you, no matter what. Even with Tashi, it was always you. A first love that could never truly be erased, despite the countless mistakes and sins of youth. It hadn’t worked, but looking at you now, he had that hope again. That it might.

You just continued to sway to the music. The promise to dance whenever you asked fulfilled. There was peace in saying what was left unsaid for so many years. There was peace in feeling it still. Feeling how he did about you was the most consistent thing in his entire life. He wasn’t who he had to be with Tashi, he was who he truly was with you. His big career in hindsight, his past with Tashi, his life that didn’t include you was behind him.

Patrick did wander over when the song ended. He came and stood beside you both, the lip of his bottle resting against his mouth. You and Art shared a look before you left the position you were in, hands slipping back to your sides. He was grinning a sly grin. A familiar one from back in the day. Knowing.

You just tsked, “You need to shave.” You said. Patrick just grinned, laughed.

“You too.”

“Really?” You laughed. “Okay, I see how it is.”

Art chuckled. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t miss this. As much as he wanted just you and him, the three of you together were something entirely different. Who wouldn’t miss the better days? The three of you got a little more caught up, Patrick was free to reveal his position as a double agent in your teenaged slowburn that never really fizzled out… You and Art didn’t mention anything said during that dance, but he knew without being told. Everyone who knew you both knew that you belonged together. The night was still young, but Patrick lowered his voice. “I have an ounce in the car.” He said, shrugging. The three of you shared a look and in minutes the three of you were hiking across the schoolyard. Adults. Stupid adults with stupid nostalgia, laughter echoing across the empty courts as you all walked down the hill.

Art moved the dead leaves and under it was still that circle of rocks. The dirt had somewhat filled it, but it was still a bit of a divot. And the logs had thinned out but they were still there. You sat next to Art like you always would. You turned your body to face him and you just looked at him, studying the way his face had changed, his hair… but it was still very much so the boy you’d loved years ago. He looked over at you and he smiled and it was a reflection of so many years ago. The exact same spots, the exact same people, the same reason to sneak away.

You had hoped you hadn’t overstepped. You didn’t come to the reunion to say what you said, but it was right. And you knew Art felt the same. He said so. The three of you stayed and talked for hours like nothing ever changed. Time could never truly change the three of you. No matter who fucked who, who married who, who went where, who did what. It was always you. It would always be you. And that aside- you and Artwould figure that out- it would always be the three of you. Proven by your very own lives.

taglist: @swetearss @lalalandofive @xoxog0ssipg1rl @bayleequits @reallycreativeusername @kaaaiiaaa

[jude-duarte-wannabe]

welcome to the bakery

currently playing; the bakery by melanie martinez "pack it, box it, flip it, top it... the bakery, i'm tryna make some more"

this was inspired by @bunnys-kisses so go check out their page, such incredible stuff <3

when you request, please make sure to let me know if it's from my smut prompts or my soft ones [soft request prompts are still in the works]

hey lovely, how can i help? may i take your order? what do you feel like today? personally i'm in need of some iced tea and all you have to do is pick a dessert, drink and server of your choosing please, please, please don't forget to indicate who you want me to write about!! also please keep in mind that i haven't written anything in a while so it might take a bit for me to back into the groove of it. <3

the bakeries i currently have open are: formula one, resident evil, bridgerton and criminal minds, just for now.[but i am open to any other fandoms you might have in mind! please do not hesitate to ask!!]

the servers i'm currently writing for include; charles leclerc, carlos sainz, lewis hamiltion, pierre gasly, esteban ocon, oscar piastri, leon kennedy, carlos oliveria, chris redfield, anthony bridgerton, benedict bridgerton, colin bridgerton, spencer reid, aaron hotchner and luke alvez.

i do also accept polyam relationships! [pairing + reader] but only three people just to make it manageable on my end!

all orders can be made to the inbox for @jude-duarte-wannabe and i'll get your order together when i can also let me know if you want your order to...

be extra hot; real smutty or have sweetener; extra fluffy

let me know if want to be added to my taglist by commenting <3 followed by the person.

the bakery menu;

pound cake; "i can be rough and i don't want to hurt you"

churro's; "does my sweet boy need comforting"

cheese scone; "let your brother find out, i don't fucking care"

mille-feuille; "that's it, shit, such a good fucking girl"

cinnamon buns; "no promises"

gingerbread; "i mean i would totally make out with her/him but like platonically, you know"

baguette; "give me a minute, i really need to tickle the shit out of you"

pretzel; "i was never meant to fall for you"

cornbread; "you taste really good"

strawberry shortcake; "he's so cute, i really want to bite him"

soda bread; "wait a second... am i your lockscreen'

focaccia; "i could beat the shit out of you" "i know"

choux pastry; "i can't believe i ever loved you"

pumpkin muffin; "shut up... my girls asleep"

dinner roll; "holy shit, you still love him/her"

cakepop; "goodnight to my future wife, fuck the rest of you"

pull apart bread; "i love you"

souffle; "i'll be gentle"

powdered doughnuts; "marry me"

s'more; "the accent got to you, didn't it"

waffles; "you spill a single fucking drop and we're starting again"

shortbread biscuits; "if he pisses me off again, i'm fucking his girl"

red velvet cupcake; "does he know that i cum deep inside his little angel'

pancakes; "no, we can't, not here"

coffee cake; "i need to breed you"

french toast; "i don't think it'll fit"

crepes; "go back to sleep, you don't need to be awake for this sweetcheeks"

sweet pastry; "i'm trying to get you pregnant, now shut up and let me concentrate"

butter tart; "stop, don't fake it"

sugar pie; "stop wriggling"

zebra cake; "i'll make it fit"

carrot cake; "dirty girl"

date scone; "i'm going to make you a mama and your going to make me a daddy"

cookie; "do you feel that, how fucking deep i am"

brownie; "no fucking touching"

cheesecake; "don't yell at me"

pumpkin pie; "are you nibbling on me"

chocolate cake; "i'll use protection, i promise"

spice pie; "i wonder if your brother know that i cum inside you"

apple crumble; "i can't do this while you cat/dog is watching"

sausage roll; "i hate being your secret"

blueberry slice; "but what if somebody see's"

mushroom pie; "that looks like it hurt"

apple tart; "what do you mean you want me to choke you"

lemon slice; "i forget how small you are sometimes"

swiss roll; "your glasses are fogging up"

truffle; "send me an audio of you moaning"

oaty slice; "you smell like me"

cream puff; "this ends when your pregnant"

custard slice; "no hiding your face"

victoria sponge; "you wanna hold my hand"

english muffin; "i could die between these legs"

bagel; "where you going, this ain't over"

banana bread; "i can't believe you broke my bed"

hot cross buns; "i'll pay for the damages"

apple turnover; "can you keep it down"

fudge; "what do you mean noise complaint"

peach cake; "i've never done this"

tiramisu; "how could you be so stupid"

crumb cake; "nobody has to know"

custard tart; "you gonna let me cum inside"

date pudding; "your going to let me rawdog you, oh fuck"

mince pie; "so fucking dumb"

angel food cake; "did you just squirt, since when could you do that"

savory scroll; "stop stressing, i'm not going to post it"

chocolate chip cookie; "did you just call me pretty boy"

croissant; "don't you dare"

elcairs; "don't, leave them on"

chocolate mousse; "i'm sorry"

boston cream pie; "fuck it's dripping down your legs"

and to drink;

coffee; somnophilia kink

tea; semi public

juice; breeding kink

mocha; daddy kink

peppermint tea; mommy kink

vodka shot; rough sex

sparkling water; gentle sex

oat milk; one night stand

soy milk; friends with benefits

coconut milk; friends to lovers

almond milk; grumpy x sunshine

energy drink; doggy style

turmeric latte; fake dating

cold brew; possessive

espresso shot; dirty talking

chamomile tea; choking kink

glass of water; aftercare

herbal tea; soft but only for you

milkshake; size kink

pina colada; pregnancy

matcha latte; mixed with smau

cider; body worship

mai tai; loss of virginity

margarita; unprotected sex

chai; biting or hickeys [please let me know which]

earl grey; big cock

tonic water; age gap

soda; protected sex

root beer; caught in the act

americano; oral sex

whiskey; degrading language

vitamin water; dom/sub dynamics

irish coffee; drunk sex

lemon water; secret relationship

dark roast; sub character

hot chocolate; sub reader

iced tea; accentally leaking relationship

flat white; brothers best friend

iced latte; best friends brother

iced mocha latte; plus sized reader

smoothie; belly bulge

doppio coffee; wall sex

green tea; spiting kink

cortado; belly kisses

affogato; a bet

lemon ginger tea; single mom/dad

berry smoothie; accidental pregnancy

sunshine smoothies; fake dating

cappuccino; secret baby

rice milk; baby fever

cashew milk; somebody flirts with your bf/gf

iced chai; forehead kisses

[accmor0]

Kismet Boy band AU Timeline

Also some things about them (also HC)

Trickee

Tribe: Pop Troll, Sub-Tribe: Sport Troll

Family: Aspen Heitz (Older brother)

Friends: Harper, Creek (ex friend), Poppy, Dj Suki, Biggie,Mr Dinkles, Fuzzbert,

Future friends: Branch,Hype,Boom, Ablaze, The K-Pop gang, Tresillo, Marimba, Tambora, King Gristle, Prince D.

He's the same age as Floyd

He was the one who planned to create a boy band.

Ablaze

Tribe: Rock Troll

Family: Blaze (Older Brother)

Friends: Riff, Val, Rose, Romper, Demo, Floyd.

Future friends: Branch,Hype, Boom,Trickee, King Gristle.

Loves rock but feels more comfortable with pop but he kept it hidden

He was in his brother's band (Was the vocalist)

He joined Kismet because he wanted the opportunity to sing pop music.

Hype

Tribe: Pop Troll

Family: Boom (Twin) Sky Toronto (Father)

Friends: Guy Diamond, Branch, Poppy, Gia Grooves, Creek (ex friend),

Future friends: Trickee, Ablaze, The K-Pop gang, Tresillo, Marimba, Tambora, King Gristle, Prince D.

He had a solo period before forming the band

Although it was Trickee who created the group, Hype is the leader

Boom

Tribe: Pop Troll

Family: Hype (Twin) Sky Toronto (Father)

Friends: Guy Diamond, Smidge, Biggie, DJ Suki, Satin & Chenille, Poppy, Cooper, Fuzzbert, Ripley, Maddy

Future Friends: Trickee, Ablaze, Branch, King Gristle, Prince D, The K-Pop gang, Tresillo, Marimba, Tambora.

Boyfriend: Striped Smiley

He was part of the Snack Pack before Creek came

I didn't have much of a relationship with Branch before the band was formed.

Branch

Tribe: Pop Troll

Family: Rosie Puff (Grandmother) JD, Sp/Bruce, Clay, Floyd (older brothers)

Friends: Hype, Dennis, Poppy.

Future friends: Trickee,Boom, Ablaze, The Snack Pack, King Gristle, Bridget, The K-Pop gang, Prince D, Tresillo, Marimba, Tambora.

He and his grandma survived the bergens together.

When his Rosie died of natural causes, Branch's ears pricked up at the fact that his brothers don't know about the tragic death of his grandmother.

Branch has an obsession with being perfect in everything so that his band doesn't break up just like Brozone did.

I didn't put Trolls 3 because Brozone are not focused on the AU

[inthedayswhenlandswerefew]

Comet Donati [Chapter 6: No Control]

Series Summary: Sex, drugs, boy bands. You are a kinda-therapist recruited (via nepotism) to help Comet Donati through a recent crisis. Things are casual with Aegon, very not-casual with Aemond. Loosely inspired by One Direction.

Chapter Warnings: Language, sexual content (18+), drugs, alcohol, smoking, mental health struggles, all-you-can-eat sushi, bodily injury, violence, hungry deer, Selena Gomez, angst!!!

Selected Chapter Quote: “He can’t see on that side, you fucking snake!”

Word count: 9k.

Link to chapter list (and all my writing): HERE.

Taglist: ​@doingfondue​ @catalina-howard​ @randomdragonfires​ @myspotofcraziness​ @arcielee​ @fan-goddess​ @talesofoldandnew​ @marvelescvpe​ @tinykryptonitewerewolf​ @mariahossain​ @chainsawsangel​ @darkenchantress​ @not-a-glad-gladiator​ @gemini-mama​ @trifoliumviridi​ @herfantasyworldd​ @babyblue711​ @namelesslosers​ @thelittleswanao3​ @daenysx​ @moonlightfoxx​ @libroparaiso​ @burningcoffeetimetravel-fics​ @mizfortuna​ @florent1s​ @heimtathurs​ @bhanclegane​ @poohxlove​ @narwhal-swimmingintheocean​ @heavenly1927​ @mariahossain​ @echos-muses​ @padfooteyes​ @minttea07​ @queenofshinigamis​ @juliavilu1​ @amiraisgoingthruit​ @lauraneedstochill​ @wintrr13​ @r0segard3n​ 

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Your last day waking up in Singapore: lying in bed and watching the shadows of birds shoot across the ceiling like falling stars. Your wrist aches in its splint. The door to the balcony is wide open. The wind blows in hot and damp off the South China Sea. You hear him before you see him: the swipe of a keycard, the swinging of the door, the clop clop clop of undoubtedly neon Crocs against the hardwood floor.

You look over at him, not moving from the bed. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Then Aegon notices something in the tiny trashcan beside your nightstand that’s cluttered with souvenirs. Nestled between empty soda cans and Starburst wrappers is a mostly full pack of birth control pills. He stares at it for a while before he says, tentatively: “Trying for a little bundle of joy? With anyone I know?”

“Definitely not.” You sigh, turning back to the ceiling, morose. “Baela and I did 23AndMe like a month ago, and we just got our results back. She’s distantly related to royalty. I have a defective gene that makes me extra susceptible to blood clots. So if I take hormonal birth control I could have a stroke or something.”

“Damn, that sucks,” Aegon says.

“Yeah.”

“But it’s good you found out, you know? I wouldn’t want you dropping over dead.”

“Yeah,” you say again, flatly, ungenerously.

“Hey, no big deal, Stargirl. You know I’d use condoms anyway.”

“Well I might at some point in my life want to have sex with someone who’s not you, so.”

Aegon steps closer; he appears upside down as he studies you from above, sunburned forehead knit into thoughtful grooves, smelling like Tiger Beer and Axe body spray and…you think…chicken wings. His hair is in disarray, his aviator sunglasses tangled in blond knots. He’s wearing a lavender tank top, like dusk, like a bruise. “Ohhhh, I get it. This is an Aemond and Shelby thing.”

You hate that you’re so transparent, like a window wiped clean of fog and fingerprints. You hate that he’s right. “Why are they even together? What the hell do they have in common?”

“Now or before?”

“Both, I guess.”

“Well, before…” Aegon scratches at his cheek. There is a bug bite there, a tiny pink welt left by the venom of a mosquito or a spider. “It was a mutually beneficial arrangement. Aemond got the satisfaction of boning the kind of girl who would have screamed if he touched her back in high school. Shelby got a massive career boost. She had 900,000 Instagram followers when they met. Now she has over 20 million.”

That recurring, futile refrain: I hate her, I hate her, I hate her.

“And I won’t lie. They had some good times.” Aegon grins down at you. “Just like we did.”

“What about now?”

“Now…” Aegon ponders this. “Now I think they’re both lost. Neither of them knows what comes next. Aemond leaving Comet. Shelby hitting that age when people like her start checking off the husband and kids boxes. When you’re thrown off a ship, you cling to the life raft, even if it’s small or ripped up or half-deflated or whatever, right? You try to hold on to what you have left. You return to what’s familiar. And that doesn’t make it right, but it’s what people do.”

“It is,” you agree mournfully. “So Aemond was the one who broke it off.”

“Yeah.”

“And then he took her back.” She called and called and called, he finally answered.

“He had a moment of weakness. Now we all have to live with it.”

“I didn’t know that.” Then you sit up on the bed and look at Aegon. “When the label wanted to get rid of Aemond, why didn’t you fight for him?”

“That’s just the way of the world, Stargirl.” He shrugs, an inevitability, good weather, bad weather, sun and clouds and storms. “He couldn’t stay in the band the way he is now. And the problem isn’t what he looks like. The problem is in his soul. But I have no idea how to fix it.” Aegon smiles, warm like summer. “I thought maybe you would. That’s why I called you.”

“You didn’t even know me,” you tell him. “I was just some girl from a bar.”

“No,” Aegon says softly, and he does not elaborate. And then, bright and cheerful again: “You’re really going to earn your paycheck at our next stop.”

“Where are we going?” You recall the names you’ve heard bouncing around since Comet arrived in East Asia, the cities you’ve seen on banners and t-shirts and Instagram posts. “Bangkok? Kuala Lumpur? Manila? Jakarta? Seoul?”

“Tokyo.” Aegon is still smiling, though in an off-kilter way now, uneasily, his murky ocean-blue eyes somber. The scene of the crime. Where the accident happened. Where Aemond believes his life ended. “We’re performing at the Budokan.”

~~~~~~~~~~

White clouds turn to sapphire waves, then emerald green fields and forests, then buildings in a million different shades of grey that stretch on forever, steel and concrete and asphalt and glass. Tokyo is the largest city you’ve ever seen, the largest city imaginable. It is a labyrinth that makes you think of the hay mazes that farms back home set up each autumn; it beckons you in and then dares you to leave.

As the band hurries through Haneda Airport, you are pursued by paparazzi and hyperventilating fans. The usual suspects—Aegon, Daeron, and Jace—can be relied upon to high five, smile, flash peace signs and hand hearts, blow kisses, pass out crochet astronomical objects, and shout such endearments as (woefully mispronounced) “Konnichiwa!” and “We love you, Japan!” Shelby waves like she’s goddamn Princess Diana. Aemond bows his head, his eyes enigmatic behind his sunglasses, his steps swift. Luke holds Rhaena’s hand; Baela walks with them. You hide behind Cregan. He casts quite a large shadow.

“I look real rock and roll now,” you joke, gesturing with your splinted arm.

Cregan replies in his rumbly subterranean voice: “I think I have you beat.” He pulls up one of his sleeves—floral print, silk, Valentino—and shows you the underside of his right forearm. Bisecting the flesh from his wrist to the crook of his elbow is a long, faint, moon-white scar that you’ve never noticed before, never even heard anyone mention.

“Oh, ouch! You broke it?”

“Compound fracture.” He covers his forearm again with his sleeve.

“When? How?”

Cregan hesitates. Suddenly, he no longer wants to be having this conversation. “Years ago.”

Just outside the airport waits that trusty fleet of black, tinted-window Escalades; but Aemond has requested that his 1960 Gold Star be there too. He takes his keys, helmet, and jacket from one of Comet’s hulking security guards. Shelby’s detail is notably more subdued since that night in Singapore; the man who dislocated your wrist has been exiled from the tour. Aemond climbs onto his motorcycle and starts the engine. The sound takes you back to Rome: when your hopes and spirits were high, when you and Aemond were still living on the light side of the moon.

“You in the mood for a ride, Shelby?” Aegon asks, smirking unkindly, taunting, chomping loudly on cotton candy flavored Bubble Yum. “Don’t forget your helmet. We’d all be lost without you.”

Shelby combs out her beachy blond waves with her artful fingers, tan, reedy, nails turquoise and adorned with golden koi fish. “You’re psychotic if you think I’m getting on that bike.”

“Jesus,” Jace mutters. He is as shocked as anyone by his abrupt demotion to only the second most villainous person in Comet’s retinue.

Aemond doesn’t react, doesn’t say anything to Shelby, doesn’t even look at her. But he does glance over at you. And the words rise in your throat like a burning sun at dawn: I’ll go, I’d love to go, I trust you, I want you. But before you can say anything, Aemond has knocked the kickstand out of the way and is weaving through thick afternoon traffic towards the Mandarin Oriental Hotel. And as the Escalades roll and the band chats around you—indistinctly, abstractedly—you keep staring out the window and searching for glimpses of Aemond like the rare flash of a meteor in a city sky; but you can’t find him.

Criston knows he’s brought Comet to dangerous ground, peppered with quagmires and landmines. So he has planned a ruthlessly hectic itinerary. As soon as you’ve received your room key and unpacked, it’s time for dinner at an all-you-can-eat sushi restaurant down the street. Criston herds the band there like the rugged Australian cattle dogs that your parents have back in Kansas City nip at the heels of snorting, intractable Black Angus bulls. You sit between Baela and Aegon, who is wearing his neon green tank top, matching Crocs (per usual), and khaki cargo shorts. He’s also gulping sake bombs until they dribble down his sunburned face. Countless varieties of sushi and side dishes rotate by on a conveyer belt, colorful little plates waiting to be snatched up: salmon, tuna, eel, octopus, shrimp, miniature omelets, fried tofu, Wagyu beef, squid, yellowtail, veggie rolls, chicken and pork dumplings, seaweed salad.

“You okay over there?” Aegon asks, grinning as he watches you stab at your eel sushi, topped with some kind of mayo-like sauce and delicious but tragically challenging to eat.

“I didn’t know how to use chopsticks before my dominant hand was put out of commission.” You glare down the row at Shelby. She glowers back. Since that night in Singapore, you circle each other like snarling undomesticated animals, wolves or coyotes. Now you’re on her radar. Now she knows there is something—that mysterious, ever-shifting, worrying something—between you and Aemond. She just doesn’t know what it is. Neither do you, neither does he, neither does anyone.

“Want me to feed you?” Aegon slurs flirtatiously. He plucks up a piece of your eel sushi with his chopsticks and promptly drops it in your lap. “Oh. Fuck.”

Baela presses the button on the counter to summon the server. “I’ll get you a fork.”

“You are a saint,” you tell her. “Patron saint of initiative. Or drive, whichever you prefer the sound of.” Aegon is mayhem, Aemond is lost causes. What am I?

“And you are an uncultured hick from Kansas.”

You smile at her. “Missouri.”

Your fork soon arrives. A few seats down the row, you hear Shelby ask innocently, like it doesn’t mean anything: “How old is Louis Tomlinson’s son now?”

Aemond shrugs. He’s watching the conveyor belt for vegan options; he keeps missing them when they pass by. “I don’t know, five?”

“No, Freddie?!” Luke says. “He’s gotta be like seven now. We saw him last summer at Niall’s pool party.”

“He was so cute,” Shelby says. She’s sitting on Aemond’s good side, as always. She rubs his back and you fight the urge to break her fingers one by one, snapping them in half like dry autumn twigs, lifeless and hollow. “Wasn’t he cute, honeybunch?”

“Sure,” Aemond replies distractedly. And of course Shelby is the type of person who believes that becoming a father will heal a man, rather than just dooming his children to be collateral damage.

Aegon peeks over the conveyer belt at the chefs who are preparing plates in the middle. He lurches and wobbles. Criston covers his own face with his hands, mortified. “Hey, hey, can I get a Crab Rangoon please?”

A chef says something in Japanese, soft and polite but clearly imploring him to sit back down.

Aegon repeats slowly: “Crab! Rangooooooon!”

“Hey dumbass,” Jace says. “That’s Chinese. We’re in Japan.”

“Oh. Right.” Aegon sighs, retreats, and orders himself another sake bomb.

You grab a plate of veggie rolls and another of fried tofu sushi off the conveyer belt and pass them down the row to Aemond. Shelby sends you the most venomous of glares, but Aemond mouths when she’s not paying attention: Thank you.

~~~~~~~~~~

Two shows in Tokyo, two performances on the stage where Aemond was mutilated. Of course, you don’t see mutilation when you look at him. You never have. You see the way the light hits the angles of his jaw and nose and cheekbones and think of marble faces in museums, generals, kings, saints, angels. You see the crystalline blue of his right eye and think of rivers, cool and rushing and clean. You see the ethereal haze of his left eye and think of other planets. You don’t know why everyone else reads his scar and blindness as a tale of unspeakable ruin. You can’t imagine seeing Aemond that way. It would be easier, less painful, simpler for you if you could. Maybe you could stop wanting him. Maybe you could stop dreaming about him, wisps of longing and memory that escape you as soon as you wake.

Aemond does not attend Comet’s concerts at the Budokan. They’re the only ones you’ve ever known him to miss. He rides out on his Gold Star instead, and then reappears to join the band for their post-show ritual in Jace’s suite, grim and quiet and scribbling in his black-paged notebook, smoking his cigarettes, sipping his Brambles. You cannot blame Aemond. You weren’t here last December when a piece of rigging collapsed during soundcheck and nearly killed him, and yet you can’t stop thinking about it; you can’t stop yourself from glancing up at the rafters during shows, wondering exactly how it happened, picturing Aemond bloody and unconscious on the stage, half-blinded and robbed without knowing it yet.

Tomorrow night is Comet Donati’s final performance in Tokyo, but today Criston has a day trip planned. He has filled every spare second of this tour stop with distractions. The band travels by bullet train (or shinkansen) and then local railways to Nara, the city that served as Japan’s capital in the 700s. Criston hires a tour guide—an 80-year old man called Toru-san, who possesses an incalculable amount of knowledge and also a very, very thick accent—to lead you all around Nara Park to see Isuien Garden, the Kasuga Taisha Shrine, the Nara National Museum, and finally the Great Buddha. Nara Park is full of food and souvenir vendors, as well as 1,200 sika deer that you can pet and feed, albeit at risk of being trampled by overenthusiastic herbivores. There are signs posted with warnings to exercise caution, complete with cartoon illustrations of deer gone rogue.

It’s 95 degrees outside with 80% humidity. You are drenched with sweat and guzzling boba tea. The handle of your bag from a gift shop is slung over your splint. Toru-san, despite his long pants and cardigan sweater, is looking spry as ever and is deep in conversation with Luke and Rhaena; he is regaling them with a bottomless well of Nara trivia. Cregan and Daeron are still browsing through gift shops, mostly for the opportunity to escape the heat and hover, sighing with relief, in front of every electric fan they come across. Aegon, lobster-level red—you aren’t sure if he’s more sunburned or flushed—is snoring under a tree as deer nibble at his cyan tank top and white cargo shorts. Aemond purchased probably $200 worth of deer crackers and has attracted a sizeable crowd of furry new friends. He’s like he always is around animals: beaming, immersed, at peace. Shelby is capturing pictures and video clips of him from a distance.

Nearby where you stand under the shade of a black pine tree, Baela is dressed in a crop top and yoga pants and stretching in the middle of a patch of grass. She keeps having to stop to shove deer away from her as they tiptoe close, searching for snacks. Jace is using Google Translate to flirt with a crowd of Japanese fangirls who have recognized him. They are giggling so loudly you can hear them from across a field. Baela is trying to ignore this. She falls out of a pose and sighs irritably, then walks over to you. Together, you watch Jace for a while, you slurping on your boba tea, Baela frowning with her hands on her willowy waist.

At last, she says: “Sometimes we love people who we know don’t deserve it. But that doesn’t make us love them any less. We just hate ourselves for not being stronger.”

“I think you’re incredibly strong, Baela.”

“Do you?”

“Yes. Strong enough to leave him. Strong enough to begin living your own life again.”

Her expression is suddenly uncharacteristically vulnerable, fearful. “I don’t know if I can do it. I’ve never been an adult without him.”

“You’d figure it out. And you wouldn’t be alone. You’d have Rhaena, and Luke, and ballet, and all your friends and family—”

“And you too, right?” she asks. “You’ll still be my friend? Even after you go back home?”

You are stunned into a silence that Baela first mistakes for rejection. Her face falls. “No no no, I’m not hesitating, you just caught me by surprise. Of course I’ll still be your friend after the tour is over. I’ll be your friend forever.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“And you’ll visit me in prison if I snap one day and throw Jace into a meatgrinder?”

You laugh and hug her, your sweat dampening each other’s clothes: her orange crop top, your Backstreet Boys t-shirt. “Absolutely. For sure.”

“Okay. I gotta go practice some more.” She spends long hours down in the hotel gym while everyone else is sleeping or partying or preparing for shows, running and stretching and yoga and repeating the same dance routines over and over again. You applaud and whistle as she leaves. “Stop,” Baela complains, but she’s grinning.

You procure another boba tea. You find a nice shady spot on a bench. You check your phone; there’s maybe fifteen more minutes until the band is scheduled to leave for the train station to begin the journey back to Tokyo. Naturally, Criston has dinner already planned: kaiseki ryori, a traditional multi-course meal. You wonder if there will be vegan options for Aemond. Your eyes drift back to him. They always seem to. He’s dragging his palm down the face of a ten-point buck as he feeds him a crumbling brown cracker. There’s a fawn curled up in Aemond’s lap. His blond hair is slicked back off his forehead, his black shirt mostly unbuttoned. Sweat gleams on his chest. Your fingertips ache to draw sloping lines and lazy circles in it.

“I never worried about him,” Criston says. He’s appeared beside you, arms crossed guardedly. You move over so there’s room for Criston on the bench. He sits, distant and troubled. “I always worried about the others. Aegon and Jace especially. But not Aemond.”

“Because he never needed you,” you say quietly.

“He didn’t,” Criston agrees. “And so I wasn’t there to protect him that day.”

The day of the accident. “From what I understand, it wasn’t something you could have prevented.”

“No, I couldn’t have stopped that piece of rigging from falling. But I could have made it so he wasn’t standing under it.”

You wait for Criston to explain. That’s an element that people often underestimate: the power of waiting for someone to be ready.

“It was soundcheck,” Criston says. His voice is strained, hushed. He repeatedly touches the stubble of his beard, a nervous habit. “Aemond was on time, as always. Aemond was exactly where he was supposed to be. But no one else was. Aegon and Jace had gone off to a strip club or a burlesque show or something, I don’t remember. They came back to the hotel and were absolutely hammered, they were crawling around on the hallway floor and puking in corners, laughing hysterically, completely out of their minds. Cregan and Luke were there trying to get them cleaned up. I was on the phone with Cregan, he was pissed, probably the most angry I’ve ever heard him, he kept pausing to yell at Aegon. He’d dragged him into a cold shower, but Aegon was fighting, trying to bite and kick him and whatever the hell else. So eventually I decided to go to the hotel and deal with it. Aemond offered to go with me. I told him no, you stay here, I’ll bring the other four even if I have to get the security guys to toss Aegon and Jace over their shoulders and carry them. Then I left.”

“And that’s when it happened,” you realize. “While you were gone.”

“Yes,” Criston says. And he gazes across Nara Park, here in body but his mind trapped in the maze of the past.

“You had no way of knowing what would happen, Criston. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I should have told him to come with me back to the hotel. Or I should have stopped Aegon and Jace from getting wasted. If they’d been on time, if soundcheck had happened as scheduled, no one would have been standing where that piece of rigging fell. Aemond would still be the leader of Comet. He would still have his face, his sight, his life.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” you say again.

“Alicent blames me,” he confesses. And you only know who she is because you’ve asked Aegon: the wife of Viserys Targaryen, the mother of his three sons. “She’ll never forgive me.”

Is that really why she avoids you, Criston? Or is there another reason? “If that’s true, it’s only because she’s feeling a lot of horrible things—grief, pain, regret, guilt—and she’s directing them at you. You haven’t earned them. You’re just the person standing in the line of fire. They’re a reflection of Alicent’s inner turmoil, not of your own worth. I think you’ve done a phenomenal job trying to keep this band safe and happy. And I know it’s not easy. I know it’s damn near impossible.”

“I’m glad you’re here,” he says, looking at you with large, dark, truthful eyes like a dog’s.

And you imagine a world in which you’d never seen Aegon after that night in Kansas City, never met Aemond, Baela, Rhaena, Luke, Cregan, Daeron, Criston. “I’m glad I’m here too.”

Criston reaches over and—for a moment, so briefly you could have imagined it—rests his hand on your shoulder like he sometimes does to Aemond and Luke. Then he leaves to collect Cregan and Daeron from a shaved ice vendor. Shelby has strolled over to consult with Toru-san, presumably so she can add his trivia to her Instagram posts and TikTok videos. You go to Aemond.

“I have a confession to make,” he says solemnly as you approach.

The oxygen vanishes from your lungs; you try to hide this. “What is it?”

Aemond smiles up at you. “When the tour guide was leading us here, I thought he kept saying that the park was full of bears. And I didn’t want to kill the mood or anything, but I was definitely concerned about going on a field trip to feed over 1,000 uncaged bears. I am very, very relieved that he was in fact saying deer.”

You chuckle and sit next to Aemond on the grass, petting the fawn in his lap. It blinks sleepily at you, its fur soft and spotted, its ears pricked up and curious.

“What’s your souvenir for this stop of the tour?” Aemond asks.

You pull it out of your bag to show him: a small stuffed sika deer complete with floppy felt antlers. “Isn’t it adorable?”

“It is,” he says. “Are you going to have room for all these keepsakes in your apartment back home?”

“Already fantasizing about me leaving, huh?”

“No,” Aemond says, seriously now. Deadly serious. “No, I’m not.” And then Criston is shouting through cupped hands for everybody to huddle up so you can all head to the train station.

It’s not until the band is trekking out of Nara Park towards the blissful promise of air conditioning that you realize someone is missing. When you look around, you see Criston, Aemond, Shelby, Aegon (rubbing his eyes and yawning), Baela, Jace, Rhaena, Luke, Cregan, and a smattering of security guards dressed in black.

“Wait,” you say. “Where’s Daeron?”

A chorus of confusion: “What?” Huh?” “He’s not here?” At last, Criston spies him sitting alone on a wooden park bench, glumly eating through his mountain of shaved ice.

“What the hell is he doing?!” Jace says impatiently, swiping perspiration from his forehead.

Aegon massages your shoulders. “I think this might call for your particular area of expertise, Stargirl.” And when Aemond’s eye flicks to Aegon fleetingly, resentfully, you think for the first time: And where were you, Aegon, when Aemond was waiting all those months ago? Whoring, drinking, self-destructing in ways that take other people down with you? Then you leave him.

Through the heat that lays thick over the city like a tangle of vines, you trudge to the bench where the youngest Targaryen brother is lingering. “Daeron? What’s wrong?”

He stares gloomily down into his shaved ice: blood-colored, strawberry, ichigo. “Everyone thinks I’m always joking and optimistic, but I’m not.”

You ask gently: “What are you really, Daeron?”

“I don’t know what to be. That’s the problem. I worry about it all the time. I can’t win. If I’m sad, then I’m ungrateful for this tremendous opportunity. But if I’m happy, it’s like I’m dancing on Aemond’s grave.”

“He’s not dead, Daeron,” you say.

“Well, yeah, obviously.”

“But a lot of the time people talk about him like he is. You speak around him, over him, through him. Do you think he doesn’t notice?” Do you think he can’t feel the weight of that dark gravity that roots him to the earth? Do you think he can disentangle who he is from the wreckage that has buried its shrapnel in his bones?

Daeron isn’t insulted by what you’ve said. Instead, he seems fascinated. He seems grateful, like you’ve sat down to help him with an especially baffling puzzle. “What would he want from us, do you think?”

“I think he wants to know that his time in Comet wasn’t wasted. That even if he leaves, he will still be a part of this family. I think he wants to be acknowledged. He doesn’t want pity or awkward silences, he doesn’t want to pretend that the accident never happened. He wants to know that his life will go on in spite of it.”

Daeron ruminates on this, taking a bite of his towering mound of shaved ice. “If I said something about him at the last Tokyo show tomorrow, do you think he’d mind? I’ve had this idea for a while, but I didn’t know how he’d take it.”

“That depends on what you say.”

Daeron asks, peering up at you with large pale eyes: more translucent than Aegon’s, more harmless than Aemond’s. He has been shown more kindness than either of them; he is perhaps less deep, less singularly brilliant, but also less burdened. It is a trade many would happily agree to. It is a trade they would pay for in blood. “What should I say?”

You smile at Daeron. “The truth.”

~~~~~~~~~~

“I’d like to take a moment to share something with all of you,” Daeron says into his microphone as soon as Comet finishes The Worst Way To Be. The audience lowers their cheers to a reverent, intensely attentive murmur.

“Wait, what?” Baela whispers to you and Rhaena as you stand in the front row. Shelby, who had been looking rather bored, whips out her phone and begins a live stream. Aegon, Jace, Luke, and Cregan are upbeat and beaming—as is expected of them, as is required—but they pass each other nervous glances like folded paper notes in a high school classroom. This is not in the script.

“I just want to say thank you,” Daeron continues. His voice reverberates off the walls of the Budokan. “Thank you to all of you guys, of course. Our amazing, incredible fans. Thank you for letting us live this dream of a life.” There are claps and whistles, shrieked declarations of undying adoration. Daeron takes a deep breath. His hands are shaking; you can see the microphone tremble. “And thank you to my big brother Aemond.” Instantaneously, the crowd goes as close to silent as it is possible for a stadium at max capacity to be. The others are gawking at him openly now, unable to paper over it with masklike smiles. “I had been following Comet around for years before I got the offer to officially join. So I know how much work and talent Aemond poured into this band. I’m beyond honored to be up on this stage tonight performing for all of you, but I wish it could have happened a different way. I wish Aemond could be here too. And no matter where he goes in the world or what he does next, he will always be the person who made Comet Donati possible. And he will always be my greatest inspiration. I love you, man. We all love you.”

And the audience erupts into deafening cheers and applause, all for a soul who could not bring himself to attend the show. There are chants of We love you, Aemond! that go on for more than five minutes. Aegon is shouting as loudly as anyone; Jace, Luke, and Cregan are running around the stage and encouraging the crowd. They are a little shellshocked, but they are genuine.

Even Jace, you think, you marvel. Even Jace is honoring him. He doesn’t hate Aemond after all. He provokes and he taunts, sure, and he crosses lines on occasion, but Jace doesn’t hate Aemond. He might even miss him.

For their last night in Tokyo, Criston has grander aspirations for the band than the usual wind down in Jace’s suite. He gets everyone—Aemond included, fetched from the bar of the Mandarin Oriental Hotel, already several Brambles deep—into the Escalades to drive to Club Camelot, where Criston has reserved one of the three floors for Comet. It swiftly fills like a flute of champagne: women in sparkling gowns, men with baiting smiles, security guards and label executives and friends and acquaintances and models. The tiles on the floor are black and white, but bathed in sapphire luminescence that covers everyone like rain. Empty hands are filled with frosty bottles and glasses clinking with ice. The song that thunders out of the speakers is a throwback: Butterfly by Crazy Town.

Cregan has acquired a harem of sorts; you look once and he’s flocked by three gazelle-like companions, you look again and there are five of them. Jace is mingling freely. Aemond is talking to Daeron—thanking him, it appears, offering heartfelt gratitude—while Shelby greets a pack of influencer-types as they arrive. They squeal and jump up and down with her in their clicking stilettos, then take turns snapping each other’s pictures. Criston actually appears to be somewhat relaxed. He sips on a Sapporo Premium and chats with one of the guys from the label, gesturing casually with his expressive hands. Aegon is curled up in a booth with Selena Gomez. Yes, Selena freaking Gomez. He keeps playing with her glossy dark tresses and making her giggle, propping his sunburned face up on his knuckles, glowing in that way that he does. It’s not just for you. It’s never been just for you. And sometimes he’s close to you and sometimes he’s not, and right now he’s on the other side of the solar system, he’s out in the Oort cloud, he’ll be back to visit earth in a few hundred years. Aegon disappears into the bathroom every few minutes. You see smudges of white powder on his hands, under his nose. If he tried to talk to you right now, you wouldn’t know what to say to him. He would feel like a stranger.

You’re watching Aemond. You wish you weren’t, but you are. He’s in all black, the top three buttons of his shirt undone. You nurse a Bramble and follow Baela, Rhaena, and Luke around the dancefloor, barely able to hear them over the music. Luke is lightheartedly making fun of Baela for something. Her earrings? Her shoes?

“I’ll have you know that I’m very important around here!” Baela cries over the music. “I’m the patron saint of drive!”

“Patron saint of driving herself to the Gucci store, maybe,” Luke says.

They’re all laughing. You feel like you’re observing them through a transparent wall, like you’re at the aquarium and they’re a dazzling rare species and you’re some grubby kid with your palms pressed to the glass. What am I still doing here? Why did I ever think I belonged here?

You break away from Baela, Rhaena, and Luke and drift by Shelby and her fellow influencers, not intending to eavesdrop but catching a few fragments of their conversation like Jupiter and Saturn capture moons. As Aemond talks to Daeron across the room, Shelby is lamenting her love life. She thinks she’s being discrete, but she’s had more than a few gin and tonics.

“No, he still…he probably doesn’t want me looking at him…he’ll let me blow him, but he won’t actually…you know…?”

And you remember what you told him on that balcony in Reykjavik: I think you haven’t fucked anyone since the accident, and you’re terrified to.

You were right. You’re still right. And here you are, like mirrors: Aemond not fucking Shelby, you not fucking Aegon, and there’s no especially good reason for either except that it just doesn’t feel right. After a while, Shelby and her entourage leave to check out another nightclub down the block. More photo opportunities, you suspect. A change of scenery.

“How’s your wrist?” Jace inquires. He’s found you loitering on the outskirts of the dancefloor. He’s wearing a black sequined blazer with nothing underneath except skin and ink. He’s unsteady on his feet, a Vesper sloshing in his glass. Now the song that’s playing is Ed Sheeran’s I Don’t Care, featuring Justin Bieber. In the booth she’s sharing with Aegon, Selena Gomez audibly groans.

“Great. It actually feels better when no one talks to me.”

Jace cackles, far too loudly. “You are hilarious. Hey, hey, listen.” His free hand skates around your waist. Instinctively, you jolt away from him.

“Nope.”

“Listen.” He grips you more adamantly. “Let’s do this.”

“No, no, that’s a very kind offer but I’d rather chew off my own limbs, thank you.”

“Look, I don’t care if you’ve hooked up with Aegon,” Jace purrs into your ear, sweating out vodka and gin, his curls brushing against your cheek. “Hell, I don’t care if you’re still hooking up with Aegon. I’m better than him. I have to be, right? That fat drunk. I’ll show you.”

You try to pull away from him again. You’re wearing the short sparkly dress you bought in Reykjavik, black velvet and silver stars. “Jace, don’t touch me.”

“Come on, Stargirl, give me a shot—”

“Jace,” you say harshly, your eyes blazing. “Do not touch me.”

“Okay,” he sighs; and, to his credit, he releases you. He holds up his palm in surrender. “Okay, fine, but when you change your mind—”

Aemond soars in out of nowhere, a comet, a meteor, the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs. His fist connects with Jace’s jaw. Jace’s Vesper goes flying; blood spurts from his mouth, split lips and lost teeth. “Don’t you fucking touch her!” Aemond is roaring. He has Jace pinned to the floor, black and white and sapphire and red. “When she says not to touch her, you don’t, you hear me?!”

People are screaming and descending upon them, trying to pull them apart. Your Bramble shatters against the tile floor. Criston is here, and security guards, and Baela and Rhaena and Luke and Aegon. Everyone is talking at the same time, so it’s almost like no one is. Jace is striking at Aemond from the ground. Aemond hits him again, and again, knuckles into defenseless flesh and bone, blood vessels bursting, nerves on fire. The music stops, the lights come on.

“Aemond, stop!” you shout. “Aemond, Aemond, you’re going to kill him!”

“Let him go, Aemond, please!” Baela is yelling, and there’s raw terror in her voice.

Then Jace lands a solid punch at last, a hook that comes in from Aemond’s left. Blood pours from Aemond’s nose, it’s on his face and his throat, it’s running down his chest. Cregan arrives, locks his arms around Aemond’s waist, and heaves him away. Before Jace has a second to recover, Aegon wrenches him up by the collar of his blazer and slaps him open-handed across the face.

“He can’t see on that side, you fucking snake!”

Criston bellows: “Aegon, back up, back up, back the fuck up!” He finally gets a good look at Jace: bleeding, bruised, teeth missing, blinking dazedly at the spectators, too stunned to feel the pain yet. “Oh my God!” Criston whirls to Aemond, who is struggling against Cregan’s grasp. “How’s he going to perform in five days, huh?! Jesus Christ, he looks like he’s been butchered! How am I going to cover that up?! How is he going to sing?!” Criston pulls Jace to his feet; he practically has to carry him. Baela follows after them, more distressed than you’ve ever seen her, flowing tears and strangled sobs. Rhaena and Luke go too.

You, Aegon, and Daeron rush to Aemond. He’s bent over and spitting blood onto the floor so he doesn’t choke on it. “Not broken,” Cregan pronounces after examining his nose. “Just gonna bleed real bad. Needs pressure on it.”

“Are you okay?” Aegon asks you, a hand careful and tender on your face. He’s back again, for a minute, an hour, a day.

Your voice quakes. “Yeah.”

“What did Jace do…?”

“Nothing, nothing that bad, I mean he grabbed my waist but—”

“Aegon?” Selena Gomez says tentatively, waiting nearby and hugging her arms around herself.

“Yeah, one second, love. Give me a second.” He appraises Aemond and whistles. “Man, you are wrecked.” And not just physically. He’s incensed, he’s in shock. You reach for Aemond’s hand and he lets you take it.

“You got him?” Cregan asks you.

“I’ll clean him up. I’ll take care of him.” And as blood continues to run down his face, you draw Aemond towards the bathrooms. You lead him inside the women’s room and lock the door, blue walls and white florescent light. Somewhat ungainly—relying mostly upon your non-dominant hand—you press a pile of paper towels against his nose and tell him to hold it there. Then you wet more paper towels and wipe down his knuckles, his face, his throat. The blood on his chest has run beneath his glossy black shirt. We match, you think randomly. “Can I…?”

He yanks the shirt over his head, then returns the mass of crimson-stained paper towels to his nose. Fortunately, the bleeding appears to be slowing. You erase the smudged trail of scarlet that runs all the way to the waistline of his dark jeans. When you reach the end of it, Aemond flinches away from you; not a pained flinch, but a fearful one. He turns his back on you and walks to the other end of the small and shadowless room. He braces one palm against the wall and sighs deeply. He throws the wad of paper towels in the trashcan and then covers his face with his hand, shaking his head.

“Aemond,” you say. And you wait for him to look you in the eye. It takes a long time. “What do you want?” Why were you watching me and Jace? Why did you lose control?

“Nothing,” he replies immediately.

“That’s a lie.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It does,” you insist, your voice fracturing. “It does matter. Just tell me what you want.”

“Why, so you can let me down easy? Or worse, pretend to be into it to make me feel better, to help piece me and my fragile little ego back together? I don’t beg for anything. You really think I’m going to beg you to want me?”

“No, you’re too fucking proud, you’d never even ask for it. You’ll beat people half to death for things you’re too much of a coward to say out loud, and I’m supposed to feel sorry for you?!”

“Then why are you even in here with me?! Just go back to Aegon, I know that’s what you want. I guess you’ll have to wait in line behind Selena Gomez, but he’ll work his way back around to you eventually.”

“Jace stole something from you, right?” you say. “You feel like he stole the band from you after you were kicked out, and then tonight you felt like he was stealing something else, and that’s why you freaked out and almost murdered him—”

“No. No, because you’re not mine.”

“What do you want, Aemond?” you ask him again, tears of exhaustion and desperation in your eyes.

“I don’t want anything from you,” he says, coming in closer. “So you’re absolved, you’re free to go, I don’t need your goddamn charity—”

Your good hand juts out, and what you plan to do is plant it against his bare chest and push him away. What you do instead—as if by muscle memory, a reflex, an instinct—is reach up to plunge your fingers into his hair. And then his palm is cradling the small of your back and his lips are on yours, moving seamlessly like how currents thread through the ocean. He helps lift you up onto the counter; there is just enough room between two of the sinks. Your legs link around Aemond as he presses himself to you, lips still tinged with coppery blood, bare chest, his waist, his hips. Your back hits the mirror—cool and unyielding, the ink of his lyrics flat against the glass—with enough force to make a thump.

“Are you okay—?”

“I’m more okay than I’ve been in years.”

He tilts up your chin and kisses you deeply, dizzyingly, his tongue darting between your lips. He tastes like his Brambles, sweetness cut with the bite of gin, and smoke, and something else too, something that’s just purely him, something you could drown in like the river of his clear right eye. Gently, you bring your fingertips to his face, to his scar. “Don’t,” he pleads softly, pained.

“There’s nothing wrong with you.”

“Don’t—”

“Aemond, look at me.” And you hold his face still so you know he hears you. “There’s nothing wrong with you. There has never been anything wrong with you.”

You watch it hit him like a stone into water, ripples that wash away everything he’s felt before. He knows you mean it, he can feel it, the same way you can feel the care with which he caresses you, not just lust but engulfing warmth, wordless veneration. He whispers between kisses: “Tell me what to do. Tell me what you want.”

Your lock your gaze with his, then reach down to unbutton his jeans. It’s difficult with the splint, but you manage. You think he might stop you, you prepare yourself for it, but he doesn’t. Instead, Aemond’s hands vanish beneath your dress and slip off your panties, black lace you hadn’t planned on anyone seeing tonight. As you kiss his face—jagged scar, flushed cheek, the slope of his jaw—his fingers slide into a pool of staggering heat and wetness.

He moans. “Oh fuck, that’s for me?”

“I’ve wanted this from the start.”

“Show me…show me how you like it…”

You guide his hand to exactly the right spot and give him a rhythm, a pressure, a pace that rolls a euphoric shudder down your spine. He’s barely touched you, and already you’re shaking all over; you’re throbbing, you’re dazed with that delicious needful aching, you’re gasping into the sweltering, salt-strewn dampness of his neck. His fingertips stroke you in commanding circles—only a few times—until you’re on the precipice, until you stop him. You’re ready, even though he’s huge: long and thick, revealed as he tugs down his jeans and boxers. He pins your uninjured hand against the mirror and kisses and bites at your throat as he eases himself inside you: a stretching that is intense but not unpleasant, hunger being satisfied. And when he thrusts—carefully at first, waiting for you to tell him he can be rougher—there are so many layers of pleasure that it stuns you, it leaves you speechless. Has it ever been like this before? Never, never, never, not once, not for a moment, not with anybody. His future was stolen from him, but he’s taken your past from you; he’s carved it out like a gemstone from the earth and locked it away in a vault no one remembers the passcode to.

“I’m so close,” you whisper, you beg. “Aemond, please, please, I want to come for you…” And you gasp as his fingers skim down your belly again, stroking you forcefully as his thrusts become deeper, quicker, impossibly powerful.

His voice is low and murmuring. His scent is everywhere; it’s all you know how to breathe. “You okay, baby? You alright?”

“Yes, yes, oh God, Aemond, don’t stop, please don’t stop…”

“I won’t stop, baby. You’re doing so well, you’re almost there.”

“Aemond…yes…I love this…”

“I love you.”

He what…? He WHAT…??

And it doesn’t just drag you over the edge; it pushes you, it propels you, you go plummeting off the cliffside and freefall for miles. There’s no disguising it. You have to bury your face in his chest to keep from crying out, clinging to him, your fingernails leaving indents like crescent moons. Aemond, fighting his own climax viciously, lasts just long enough to fuck you through the aftershocks and then empties himself not just physically but also of the shame and aimlessness of the past seven months, of his fears, of his suspicions.

“Wait,” you say as he pulls away from you. You yank a paper towel out of the dispenser and wet it with cold water. First you cool his forehead and the back of his neck with it, then you wipe his fingers and his cock. Still perched on the counter, you wet another paper towel for yourself.

“No,” Aemond tells you. “Let me.” He takes it from you, opens your thighs, and kisses your mouth—teasingly, biting and sucking your lower lip—as he spreads your folds and cleans them of his seed, abundant hot white fluid that you can feel dripping out of you. As he passes over where you are most sensitive—where you can already feel longing for him rebuilding brick by brick—you jump a little, and you both laugh. I could go again, you think. I could do this with him forever. And then, as Aemond descends from the chemical high like a plane gliding down towards a tarmac, you watch as those old familiar poisons—shame, aimlessness, fear, suspicion—begin to fill up in him again, slowly but unmistakably.

He throws out the paper towels and takes several steps back. He starts putting on his clothes, staring at the wall, then at the mirror, not at you but past you, at himself, his clear river-blue eye wide and vacant. He looks horrified by what he’s done; or perhaps, rather, by what he’s said.

You grab your panties off the counter and step into them, readjusting your dress. “Look, uh…if you didn’t mean what you said…that’s totally cool. I get it, sometimes people say things in the moment that aren’t real, there’s the oxytocin and the dopamine, and I don’t want you to feel…uh…you know…like you have to keep up a false pretense or anything…”

Aemond turns around and walks out of the bathroom, the door slamming behind him.

“Okay,” you say to yourself. “Okay. I can fix this.” You use the toilet quickly—UTIs are not welcome here—and then head out onto the dancefloor.

The lights are dim again, and thank God for that; your makeup is smudged, your hair unruly, your eyes glazed, your dress rumpled and stained. Cregan is the only person still waiting. “Hey,” he says flatly, then squints at you. You avoid his astute greyish eyes.

“Hey. Where is everyone?”

“Criston took Jace to the hospital. Baela is there too. Rhaena and Luke are back at the hotel. Aegon is presumably balls deep in Selena Gomez. Aemond just sprinted out of this club and I’d guess he’s headed back to the hotel too. Daeron went after him. I think that’s everybody.”

You shift your weight from foot to foot uneasily. “Shelby?”

“Oh, right. Haven’t seen her. Still out with her friends.” His eyes sweep over you. “On a scale of one to ten, how homicidal would she be if she found out about whatever happened in that bathroom?”

“Nothing happened.”

“Uh huh.” Cregan strides towards the stairwell that leads down to the front door. “Let’s go.”

Back at the Mandarin Oriental Hotel, you swipe your keycard and flick the lights on in your suite. You stand there alone, feeling the evidence of what you’ve done: sore muscles and bruised skin and pooling wetness, both yours and his. You are absorbed with thoughts of what you’re going to say to Aemond when you confront him, how much of your truth you are willing to bare. And then your eyes catch on the small trashcan beside your bed, which reminds you of the one back in Singapore, which reminds you of your pack of birth control pills discarded on a pile of crumpled soda cans and snack wrappers.

I haven’t taken a pill in days. How many days? A week?

“Oh my God,” you breathe. And then, more frantically: “Oh no, oh no, no no no…”

What do I do? What the hell do I do?

You race out into the hallway and knock on Baela’s door. Nobody answers. You try Rhaena’s next. She appears in her pajamas, pink and dotted with tiny green Tyrannosaurus rexes. “Hi,” she says agreeably enough, but she’s rubbing her eyes drowsily.

“Hi. I’m really, really sorry to bother you, but it’s an emergency.”

She perks up considerably. “Okay, how can I help?”

“Where’s Luke?”

“In the shower.”

“So he can’t hear us right now?”

“No, he can’t.”

“Good. Do you know when Baela will be back from the hospital?”

“Not anytime soon,” Rhaena says. “She messaged me that Jace needs stitches and has a concussion. They’ll be there all night, at least.”

You exhale, a defeated little squeak. “Is Aegon around? With or without Selena Gomez?”

“No, they haven’t come back yet. I have no idea where they are.”

“Okay.” You swallow noisily.

“What’s going on with you?” Rhaena asks, concerned.

“This really is not a Rhaena situation. This is a Baela or Aegon situation.”

“Alright, but neither of them are here. So I’m who you’ve got.”

You stare at her. “I need Plan B. Do you happen to have any Plan B?”

“Plan B…? Like, you just had unprotected sex with someone Plan B?”

“Yes, exactly, that one.”

Rhaena gapes, scandalized. “With who?!”

“Confidential,” you say briskly. “Do you have any or not?”

“No, I definitely don’t have any Plan B lying around.”

“No,” you groan. Tears are welling up in your eyes. “What am I going to do? How do I get Plan B in Japan?!”

“We’ll figure this out,” Rhaena says. She dashes to her nightstand to grab her iPhone. “Don’t panic. It’ll be okay. Let’s Google 24-hour pharmacies in Tokyo…”

You don’t have Criston here to summon an Escalade—nor would you willingly risk him finding out about this—but Rhaena uses Google Translate to ask the hotel’s front desk to call a taxi. She shows the taxi driver an address, figures out how many yen you owe him, and then asks him very politely (if haltingly) in Japanese to wait ten minutes while you’re inside the pharmacy so you can take a return trip as well. He seems to agree.

Rhaena accompanies you into the pharmacy and repeats these steps: Google Translate, an exchange of yen, the receipt of a service. She tells you that based on her quick research, Plan B is usually by prescription only in Japan, but pharmacists will sometimes be willing to prescribe it on the spot to a patient in need. Rhaena spends a long time typing out a message for the middle-aged, bespectacled pharmacist, then points to you. This is my friend, the maybe-pregnant slut from Missouri, you imagine her saying. She needs emergency contraception. It’s really in all of humanity’s best interests for her not to continue her bloodline.

“You have to show him your ID,” Rhaena tells you.

You give your passport to the pharmacist, and then he hands you a small package. You and Rhaena purchase a bottle of Coke Zero as well. You gulp down the single tablet as the pharmacist watches with bushy raised eyebrows, amused. You are pleased to discover that the taxi driver has waited, and within fifteen minutes you and Rhaena are back at the hotel.

“You’ve talked to a lot of people tonight,” you tell Rhaena matter-of-factly as you ride the elevator back up to the band’s floor.

“Oh, yeah. I guess I did. I mean, I’ve been practicing. And you needed me.”

“I’m proud of you,” you say.

Rhaena smiles sheepishly. “Thanks.”

“And I’ll be even more proud of you when I get my period.”

She giggles, she trots off to her suite, you retreat into yours. You collapse onto the floor and gaze up at the ceiling, studying the specks and grooves in the tiles like constellations.

“It was only one time,” you say to the ceiling. “I was on the pill for years. That takes a while to leave my system, right? I mean, what are the odds? It’s fine. It’s totally fine. Nothing’s going to happen, right?”

Right?

[homestuckreplay]

Turning Lead Into Gold Into A Rocket Pack

(page 615-626)

9/9/2009 Wheel Spin: Character Switch Verdict: John Turns Into Problem Sleuth

9/10/2009 Wheel Spin: Parent Bad :( Verdict: Parent Kidnapped By Imps :( :( :(

There’s a fucking ROCKET PACK in this game. A blasting off, cool flame decals, doing loops around the moon rocket pack. This is an absolute game changer (if Rose and John can get it working) cause it’s kinda hard to be stuck at home when you have one of those bad boys.

But before that, John makes a sweet fort! It’s pretty good structurally, and mirrors Dave making a fort nine pages earlier (less good, but in fairness, he didn’t have sheets or dowels to work with). I remember that characters making forts and disappearing into their imaginations was a recurring feature in Problem Sleuth. It’s sweet that John and Dave are doing this at almost the same moment without consulting each other, both sharing a similar childlike whimsy while so far apart.

Not so for Rose Lalonde, who has abandoned all silliness and fun that allowed her to wear a W as a mustache, who destroys John’s fort and throws his whole dresser into the void. How’s he gonna get clean socks now?? I get that she’s in a scary situation and is trying to take control any way she can, but this disregard for John’s few possessions has gotta stop. I noticed recently that his magic chest is STILL on the roof. And it’s not like his situation is much better than hers – I say that if John wants to take a moment to enjoy a fort break, he’s earned it.

Following the fort interlude, John carves totems from a bunch of cruxite dowels. The different shapes of the totems are really fun to look at, and remind me a lot of vinyl records, with their various bumps and notches etched into the record’s groove that then turn into music when a needle (or in the alchemiter’s case, a laser) moves over it. It’s also notable that the totem that eventually becomes the rocket pack has the most mass removed from it, possibly because it has to code for four items instead of just one.

And with that, we FINALLY get started on punch card alchemy! It’s real, Rose was right when she hypothesized this back on p.157 (!!) and the possibilities are insane. The process functions very similarly to the apple from the pre-punched card – use the card on the totem lathe to carve a cruxite dowel unique to that punch code, then use the alchemiter to ‘read’ the totem with its laser and spend the required grist to create the corresponding item. When the holes are punched into a card containing the corresponding item, this object immediately shows up in the Atheneum (p.189, 620) – which is a benefit of punching the ‘right’ card, as even though you lose the original item, you get the cost information up front. When punching a card with a code for something it doesn’t contain, it’s entered as a question mark, and the grist needs to be expended to see the item.

One difference to the pre-punched card is that these codes/totems only contain the item itself, not its precursor. The apple grew from a tree with us seeing its whole creation, suggesting that the pre-punched card had extra information in its code, for an apple + tree combination. Speaking of which, I wonder if John still has the pre-punched card’s totem. It doesn’t appear in the Atheneum, so I wonder what would happen if he tried to use it again.

Rose creates a bunch of new captchalogue cards, ending the reign of the two-card sylladex (inventory of dumbasses) and pioneering the brand new two hundred card syladex (inventory of a different kind of dumbass if you’re using stack or queue). She makes a hammer and then a bouncing Slimer pogo ride, and as soon as the pogo appears, a couple imps jump up to the platform and one bounces off with it. I love this moment. The imps’ sense of harlequin mischief simply cannot be overcome.

Back to the most important thing here, the ROCKET PACK. It’s sadly inoperable, due to containing a violin (something we’ve seen in Rose’s room), a cinderblock (something that’s all over Dave’s house) and a flowerpot (something that fits pretty neatly with gardenGnostic’s chumhandle). So, a new theory: Sburb has somehow pre-indexed the houses of people who will play the game. Beta testers had to provide an address to send the discs to, so Skaianet knows which houses might play. GG has been signed up as a beta tester without their knowledge, either by a family member, or possibly by Rose.

In Sburb, the base items that can be created via alchemy are limited to 1. all items contained within players’ homes, and 2. Sburb-critical items pre-programmed by the game that will prove necessary for gameplay. These include the pre-punched card and the rocket pack – given John’s precarious location, it makes sense that flying would be a game mechanic. These Sburb-critical items probably have pre-punched cards of their own as unlockable rewards, or their codes can be learned from solving in-game puzzles.

We've only seen a few captchalogue codes so far, but they've all been alphanumeric, allowing both upper and lower case letters. While it's possible that future codes could include special characters or even wild card characters, the total number of 8-digit codes (from a set of 62 characters, order matters, characters can repeat) is over 218 trillion - specifically, 218,340,105,584,896. That's a LOT of possibilities.

From the base items, codes can be mixed in various combinations. This is where the creative aspect comes in. Some of these will be useless – like the rocket pack jammed with unrelated debris – but some will improve on their components and make something really cool. For example, John could combine a hammer with a piano and make a beautiful blunt weapon that plays Showtime whenever it bonks an imp on the head. That’s the dream.

[bucknastysbabe]

70s/80s summer camp for jace it’s just so fitting

SO FITTING THAT LIL SUMMER BOY, I struggled at first and really found my groove so I hope it’s good! Thanks for requesting❤️❤️

AU Bingo - 70’s Summer Camp - Jace Velaryon

Rating: Explicit

Tags: TW//underage drinking, consumption of marijuana and alcohol in LARGE quantities, Jace and Reader are 18, Cregan’s little sister!reader, enemies to fwb to lovers, slight angst, Addam and Alyn share one brain cell, poor Luke, Cregan is the ultimate Big Bro, cunnilingus, pnv!sex, Frottage, blowjobs, Jace’s Horse Dong, virgin!Jace, we goin wild at the summer camp

“It’s going to be a hot summer this year folks! But we have hotter music for the Summer of seventy-nine. Here’s The Logical Song from Supertramp.”

The man on the radio was right. It was sweltering in Jace’s little black Pontiac firebird transam. He swerved at breakneck speed around the bends on the mountain roads, second nature at this point. Lucerys was in the passenger, nervously eyeing his brother.

“You’re making me quiver,” he shoved the twerp, “Quit being a pussy.”

Luke mumbled, “M’not a pussy!” He sunk down into the leather seats, brown eyes cast to the surrounding trees and views. They’d go through the mountains before making it to the lake and the camp. Camp Wolfwind was the name, the Stark family generously started it over decades ago.

Cregan Stark, Jace’s best friend by mail most of the time would be there. He was assistant director of camp this year, just a year older than him. Cregan always had the air of being mature, making Jace feel like a kid without even trying. Mr. Umber was the camp director, some wildman looking type with a booming laugh.

Jace’s mother had him and Luke come to this camp since they were little, to quote, “I’m not sending my children to that snobby hobnobbing farce of a camp. You boys are going to learn to be of the people and nature.” Safe to say Camp Wolfwind was a staple of Jacaerys summer. It really was a great place.

Being a senior counselor this year added bonuses. More time off between campers, say-so on party invitations, and all the grass, liquor, whatever you could get your hands on. It was a poorly hidden secret Mr. Umber grew his own bud. But only on the weekends you could partake, per Cregan.

“Whose gonna be the female senior counselor?”

Jace almost wrecked the fancy car. Fuck. Cregan’s little sister got that post. He’d had to work with the thorn in his side since, god, he first camp to Wolfwind. She had a way of getting under his skin with that sharp laugh and glinting eyes. Most of the guys thought she was sexy, looking like Jaclyn Smith of Charlie’s Angels.

Jace saw a demon with horns snorting at him when she opened her mouth. He had no clue how that girl was related to the ever calm, collected Cregan. Jace huffed, annoyed that Luke brought back the information he had banished since receiving the letter from his friend.

Whatever. It was his last summer at Wolfwind before heading off to college. Camp stopped last week of July and most of his stuff was packed up back home anyway.

A sign for the camp flew by, Jace’s knuckles whitening on the wheel. Luke snorted and popped back a cheez-it, “You’ll be fine, she’s really not that bad.” The elder brother made a familiar turn, much slower now, and scoffed, “Okay, sure, that’s why Aemond makes you cry at Christmas.” The two were pulling hair and throwing blind punches, the car skidded to a halt as insults were slung.

Cregan leaned into the open window, grinning in amusement, dodging a stray elbow. He slammed on the hood of the trans am a couple of times before Jace collected himself and shot one last side-eye to his shit of a brother. The eldest Stark huffed in humor, “Good to see you Jace and Luke, let’s get you two parked then you can go into the woods to work it out.”

Jace smiled and shook his best friend’s hand, “That can be arranged.”

Luke was back to pouting, quiet and slamming shit as he grabbed his stuff upon parking. The familiar smells and sights greeted Jace’s nose. He couldn’t help but grin at the lake shining under the view of the mountains, the wooden buildings here and there, up through the trees were obstacle courses and archery ranges. The smell of the mess hall wafted by. The Velaryon felt at home here.

Sliding his Ray-bans back, Jace sauntered to the senior counselor rooms, a duplex where he’d be connected to Satan herself. Luke stomped off to the more open spaced male junior counselor building, throwing one last bird finger. Cregan leaned against the porch frame now, holding out a bag full of camp clothes.

“You need to leave that poor boy alone,” he teasingly chastised. Jace plunked his suitcase on the bed and eyed the mirror in front of him. He shrugged, “Always sound like my mom Stark.” Cregan shrugged, “You know me, someone’s gotta do it.” The smaller brunette plugged away his personal clothes.

“Sis is real excited to see you,” he deadpanned.

Cregan’s dry humor could either make one want to drown or laugh until crying. Currently it’s drowning. Jace slammed a drawer shut and snarked, “I’m sure she is, surprised she-wolf wasn’t waiting with a sign that said ‘welcome pansy!’” Another huffing snicker from the elder.

“Well get your swim trunks on and meet down by the dock, Umber’s got us a nice selection while the counselors get here.”

Jace sighed a bit at that. Some bud and a beer would be nice. He shimmied on his red trunks and sandals, putting his best foot forward. He was the alpha somewhat now, had to exude authority. The Velaryon had no idea how his cousins, one a drunken slob and the other an uppity seminarian could exude so much confidence.

Down on the dock, Big John Umber was lighting a pipe, booming, “Jace! My boy! Get over here and have a puff!” Jacaerys grinned, “Yessir, how’ve you been this year?” He took two greedy puffs of the potent herb and held until exhaling with a couple of coughs. Umber’s big hand clapped his back as he replied, “Business is booming son, spent the whole year in Miami!”

Jacaerys waved and nodded at familiar faces; Maris and Cassandra, Ben and Aly Blackwood, Alyn and Addam, then the she-demon. She waved her painted nails, long dark hair streaming down a regrettably beautiful body. The she-wolf cooed, “Jaceyyyy, you ready for camp? Then college? Gonna have to unlatch off of mommy’s tit by then.” Her hazy eyes were lidded, lips curled in sarcasm.

Jace cracked a beer open and sniffed, “Might have to fight Lucerys and Joff back for that position Stark. Sure you’re ready to go wild without Cregan’s approval.”

Cregan’s dark, sharp eyes turned to the pair. She waved a hand, “Just playing around bro, chill out, smoke some more damn.” She stuck her tongue out at Jace and leaned back, exposing more tit than he really needed to see.

He sat on the dock’s edge, humming along to the radio, feeling the buzz tickle his senses.

Soon enough more arrived and a little gathering had developed into a party, Cregan and Umber high as balls watching from their kingly wooden dock chairs. Even little Luke had finished his pouting fit to have some PBR, making a face. Jace was flirting with Cass, boasting about his college plans.

Before a little hand pushed him into the water with a laugh. Jace dunked under the chilled night water, coming up to wipe his hair back and curse, “Hey! What the fuck?” She smiled down at him and said, “Sorry, Cass looked bored. I wanted your spot.” A raucous of laughter echoed around, drunken teens.

Jace narrowed his eyes and swam around to get tossed a towel from Addam, shaking his head. Jace plunked down near the white-blonde and was passed a shot, taking the whiskey quickly. He swallowed down the burn, feeling easier. The Hull boy snickered, “Cregan’s sister has it sooooo bad for you Jace.”

He raised a brow and guffawed at such a notion. “Yeah and gas is gonna go down too!” They both laughed at that, the male humming, “Glad I get a deal on the diesel family monstrosity.” Alyn piped in, “The monstrosity is named mouse and she does a good job.”

Another shot or two was passed around, Jace beginning to feel pretty smacked. He shook his head and excused himself from the twins, “I think I’ve lived up to the family lightweight standards, and I’m gonna retire boys.”

“Awe c’mon, c’mon, we got ghost stories soon!”

He smiled and promised another night, half stumbling back to his new cabin, all to himself. He could shower! Shower! Fuck yes. Jacaerys Velaryon felt like a king. The dim porch lights blurred in his vision, the door almost there.

“Tapping n’for the night already?,” she asked softly, long hair braided back. It looked pretty. No. Bad Jace. Cregan’s sister was drunk off her ass too, eyes hazy and leaning against the wall with a too wide grin. Jacaerys snipped, “Why y’care? Want to push me n’to the water again?”

She shuffled closer, face so sharp and pretty, dark eyes enticing. “No, I wanted to get you to myself and I was making sure ya’ weren’t leavin’.”

Jace’s face suffused into a blush. He stuttered, “W-wh-Wha?” He was a big virgin. With a capital V. Berlin Wall sized V. The darker haired girl smoothed a hand up into his hair, asking, “Taken? No good hm? Whas’ the play here.”

He steadied himself, blinking some sobriety into his thoughts and said, “I’m going to go to my shower. You can turn the radio on. The rest is up to you but,” he snatched at her waist, “Quit playin’ ‘round with me.” She moaned softly, nodding.

He let her go and moved to his room, stripping inelegantly, heading straight to the shower, leaving the door cracked. It got to a steaming heat, he stepped under, sighing, his cock beginning to hang heavy between his legs.

Right.

Jace had a ridiculously sized cock. So large in fact he thought something was wrong and went to his step-father about it. Who crassly widened his pale eyes and exclaimed, “That’s a damn horse if I’ve seen one. Congrats lad. No wonder your mother loves some Strong’s.”

So usually when he got to the point of attempting to fuck a girl, they would shy away or screech in pain. But he wasn’t sure if he really wanted to fuck right now, this she-wolf was a menace.

The radio clicked on. ‘Spooky’ by Little River Band filtered into the haze, making Jace a bit woozy as more blood flew between his legs. He heard her light footsteps, then a body slid behind his own, soft tits and feminine hands sliding up Jacaerys’ taught torso.

She murmured into his ear, “When did’ja get all handsome hm? Get this,” she wrapped her hand barely around his cock and shook, “This Fuckin’ monster.” He moaned softly, leaning dark hair back onto her shoulder. “Dunno, tried to hide it today.”

He flipped her round under the spray, getting a good look at wet lashes, dilated pupils, and swollen lips. Jace stared, hands groping at her built ass, cock nudging her thigh. She pulled him forward with two hands, sculpted lips drawing Jace open. They slid tongues across another sensually, occasionally getting a little nip from her, a hand pulling at his aching member.

Jace groaned helplessly, whining and chasing her lips with wide eyes as the she-wolf pulled back. She snatched some conditioner and slathered it on his cock, Jace’s legs trembling. The brunette girl braced herself against the wall, ass up, legs tight together.

“C’mon, y’old maid, fuck the gap!”

Understanding knocked him clean in the skull, shaking hands guiding into that shining opening, gasping and stuttering her name as he fucked the man-made gap, her teasing fingers helping along. She cooed and shivered, “Y-yes, that’s it, fuck you’re perfect! N-nudge there, there, THERE!”

Jace must’ve been getting her clit based on pitchy whines and cries, her cute hands scrambling for purchase as her back arched and then gushed on his cock, pussy convulsing. She tightened her strong thighs around him on last time before dropping to her knees.

“Cum on my tits Jacey, just like those pornos you watch.”

It didn’t take long looking at her wrecked face and swollen cunt to have him painting her tits in white, some reaching her chin and lips. He heaved and choked out hoarse moans, body wearing out. He slapped a hand on the shower wall and whimpered her name when the she-wolf licked his cum off her chin— fuck, lips, moaning.

“Does your mother know,” Abba warbled. She grinned evilly, patting his oversensitive cock. Standing back up she sung, “We’re gonna have fun this summer, Jacey.” And off she went, leaving the male a shaking panting wreck. He was gonna get her ass next round.

Jace was met with a rude awakening besides a mega hangover the next morning. Stretching and shuffling to the mess hall, he waited for his duplex neighbor. She gave him a disgusted look and shoved past, giving Jace an eyeful of legs and ass in her bitty jean shorts. Her dark hair whipped around.

Oh. Jace was a bit perplexed. She was just licking his cum off her chin last night. Now the cold shoulder? Was this one of those games girls played? The brunette was a novice on the front and he certainly couldn’t go to Cregan about it.

Shuffling into the mess hall Jace managed to stomach some grits and coffee, head pounding. Addam and Alyn sat down, identical faces cheery. Those two were immune to anything. Alyn hummed, “What’s your bag? Looking like a bummer man.”

Jace took a miserable sip of his coffee. He murmured, “Do not start yelling and jumping when I start talking. Got it? Or coffee in your face.”

Cregan was off in the corner with Aly, the two seemingly close this year.

The twins nodded, eager for the skinny. Jacaerys sighed, “What does it mean when a girl gives you the cold shoulder after gettin’ ah-uh a little hot and heavy.”

“Who?!”

Jace hissed, “I said shut it! Doesn’t matter!”

Addam, the more suave of the two, “She’s playing games then, wants you to beg and grovel for her. Or…if this is who I think it is, she wants it on the DL.”

“Downlow then, but riles me up during the day. Just great,” Jace whinged while sipping his coffee. Alyn whispered something to Addam, the other nodding and they descended into giggles. A plate slammed down, the trio jumping and growing red faced.

“Morning girls, what’s the skinny?,” the she-wolf asked with a conniving look. Addam shrugged off Alyn’s red face and Jace being an idiot, “Which girl has the nicest ass, what did you expect Stark?”

“I’d assume it would be mine,” she hummed, taking an obscene bite from her banana, watching Jace. The brunette took the last bite of his apple and darted off, holding his mug of coffee, “See you guys for cleanup later!”

Jacaerys was going to explode. With anger, lust, he didn’t know what. He stomped to the little overlook on the lake he’d found as a kid, sitting on a rock. The lake was calm and lapping on the smooth rocks, sky sunny, fish flopping here and there. With every sip of his warm drink, his blood began to settle.

The crunching of leaves took that serenity and shat all over it. Stark’s sister sat next to him, a strange look on her face. Both began to speak then stopped. Jace bolted out, “I don’t know what the deal is here but I can’t handle it.”

Pretty lips frowned and she replied, “Fine, I’m sorry. It’s fun to see you get red in the face. But I can’t just change my personality around you,” she looked off into the distant, “Cregan is Cregan no matter how close you two are. I wanna keep fooling around, why not?”

Jace narrowed his eyes and held out a hand, “Fine. Just fucking around on the low. But just know I’ll get you back.” She grinned and shook his hand, stating, “You got it Velaryon.” They sat down in simple peace before the call of the speakers came, the order for clean up.

Over the next week was a flurry of inebriation, hard work, escaping Cregan’s watchful eye, and shoving away the Hull twins. He’d spend his nights learning all the ways to pleasure a woman. Jace’s favorite was face first between her strong thighs, lapping and sucking. She’d get all whiny and soft on him.

Especially when he crooked his middle finger up and she made his chin slick with arousal, Jace going back in for more, rutting into his bed frantically. He made her come so many times one night she cried and held to him until the she-wolf remembered her situation and ran away.

As the days to campers arriving drew nigh, she was a staple in his bed after their romps, the pair just chatting and smoking cigarettes. Dreams, hopes, funny stories, sad stories. He felt like he’d known the Stark sister for years by now.

They never reached full penetration, Jace utterly petrified by hurting her, as much as she begged for it. Getting head was just as nice, especially when she’d get him down her throat, the male holding her distended neck and whining helplessly, balls drawing tight so damn fast.

Then the campers came. The two would bicker and shove each other when directing the others. Not to mention the inclusion of night rounds to make sure no kids were being naughty. Occasionally they’d find some kids macking against a pine but nothing serious. The leaders were the naughty ones.

It went like this all summer. Until the very last week. The send-off dance with all the staff and the tweens moving up to counselor next week. Jace was excited and decided he would ask his girl. Which wasn’t his girl but they did everything like a couple, the whole camp had picked up on it.

Jace reluctantly asked Cregan one evening. He was shaking in his shoes, “Y-you know how your sister and I can get, but, I really like h-her.” The elder Stark deadpanned, “You’ve been at it all summer, you think I can’t tell that? She likes you a lot too, go for it. I wouldn’t want any other man to have her hand for this dumbass dance.” Jace grinned and pulled Cregan into a brotherly hug, thanking him tremendously.

He would wait until later to spring the question on her. Jace may have gone a bit overboard, flowers from the woods and twigs spelling out, “Be mine?” Aly loaned some candles and he was set, waiting. The door opened to his cabin and there she stood, gorgeous as always.

She took in the surroundings and stifled a laugh, eyes wide. “W-what’s all this?,” she questioned, snorting again. Jace’s heart and smile began to fall, she seemed to dislike this. He murmured, “I asked Cregan, he doesn’t care, wanted to take ya to the dumbass dance as a last ride, c’mon?”

“You went and asked Cregan? Really? What is this? My silly engagement proposal? Fuck you Jace! We knew what this was from the beginning!,” her dark hair tossed about as she hissed again, “Don’t fucking talk to me again!”

The door slammed shut. The radio turned to some cheery disco song. Fuck Suzi Quatro. Stumblin’ in to what? A brick wall, in the trans am at 120mph. Jace, stunned, sat down on his bed. He wiped away a stupid tear, steadying himself.

“FUUUUUUUUuuuuUUUUUCK.”

Okay, maybe he felt better now. Jacaerys Velaryon would just have to do like he did last year, pining over a different girl then. Get blackout drunk and puke in the grass. Then get back and go way too hard on the dance floor, maybe Cassandra would let him have a squeeze. Blegh.

Jace moped his week away, some of the kids asking why he wasn’t with his ‘girlfriend’. He’d snap, “Back to the ropes course! She’s not my girlfriend!” A snap of the line and the little shits would go scrambling. Meanwhile the she-wolf ignored him utterly and completely. Not even to jab or play a trick. Nose up and eyes away, not responding to any teasing.

He tried to get her attention once and she simply crossed lean arms and stared until he got the point and shuffled away. Pure torture this was. Alyn and Addam exchanged confused glances, they had no clue on what pissed her off so bad. Addam clapped Jace’s shoulder and laughed, “Girls man! Don’t worry ‘bout it.”

But Jace worried about it, pacing his wooden floor the night of the dance, all dressed up. By that he meant a linen shirt and some nicer shorts. Luke probably had a damn silk disco top on. The brunette dabbed on some cologne, ignoring his wild hair. He hoped she went home or something.

The dance was awkward and filled with the smell of sweaty teenagers and weed. Cassandra offered a flask and said, “Looks like you need it, sorry bout’ ya girl.” Jace took the heady drink to the dome, swallowing down the burn, finishing it. He shook his head and garbled, “Sorry,” then shuffled away.

The buzz kicked in but Jace felt more moody than anything. Luke’s silk shirt did bring a slight smile to his face. Same with Cregan’s brotherly hug and promise, “She’ll come around.” But the music and happiness wasn’t seeping into his bones.

Grabbing a beer the eldest Velaryon went to his spot by the lake. It was much quieter out here, only crickets chirping, faint music emanating from the mess hall. He found his rock and sipped on the beer, stuck in his thoughts. Beer bottle still sealed by his plush lips, Jace caught a glimpse of lights over by his duplex cabin.

Taking a gulp and placing down the bottle he stared at the dim light, an aching feeling crawling up from his belly to chest. Longing. God. He was so dreadfully in love. Taking one more swig he disposed of the bottle and trudged to her side of the cabin.

The door was ajar, Blondie singing about that glass heart. Jace pushed the door open and raised his brows. There she was, pinning a banner up. Per usual the female snapped, “I wasn’t done yet you dunce!”

‘Sorry for being a bitch’

She stepped down and gestured, face aflame, “Well. Here it is.”

Jace noted the trembling in her bravado, the multiple discarded outfits, even a curling iron was steaming on a dresser. She never did her hair or wore make-up. “Are you going to say something or stare? I know I’m a piece of shit!”

Lean arms began to wrap around herself, shying away.

“No, no! Just surprised!,” Jace crawled onto the bed and pulled her to straddle him, taking in that familiar beauty. She blushed and turned her head, but little hands curled under and behind to grab his shoulders. The she-wolf murmured, “I’m really sorry— I’ve never felt this way about anyone and I freaked out. I know I’m crazy…but that was shitty. I-I’ve always held the cards?”

Jace grabbed her chin to look at her long lashes and rouged cheeks, sighing, “You are crazy. But I forgive you. A valiant effort by the way, but you always look pretty to me.” She huffed, Jace smiling and nibbling at sharp jaw. “I don’t do makeup for anyone,” the other brunette stated.

“You gonna keep talking or kiss me sweetheart?”

Stark jerked her gaze towards Jace and took charge eagerly, hands moving to grab his face. Ah great, the radio was on the Doobie Brothers. Sexy time initiated— Jace internally cringed. Their lips sealed eagerly, finding a familiar pattern before Jace licked into her mouth. He got a breathy sigh, an arch closer into his frame.

He grabbed her pretty ass and squeezed, dragging her across his already aching cock. The she-wolf gasped and whined into his maw, lapping harder afterwards, humping him desperately. Jace thumbed a sensitive pulse point on her long neck before sliding a hand under her crochet top— no bra to be found.

Now he had something to work with, both hands relocating to her tits, tweaking and pulling at sensitive buds. She yanked off the top in a flurry, going to work unbuttoning Jace’s linen shirt, kissing her way across tanned skin. He shimmied the top off to push his she-wolf into the bed, him growling at her forced moan.

He rutted into her clothed cunt, the little hotpants doing nothing to hide. Jace rumbled against her ear, “Does it feel good, letting someone else have the cards?” She stuttered a retort— gone squeak as he pulled up on the front of her shorts.

“Fuck yes it feels g-good, get ‘em off!”

Jace grinned, that pretty pussy he missed so much…wet and swollen for him. Him. Only Jace. Sliding back to her chagrin, the male unbuttoned and pushed down his shorts and boxers, heavy member dripping with arousal. Eyes hazy but determined she moaned, “That- ugh- fucking monster is going inside me. Stud.”

Jace nodded, barely catching the bottle thrown at him. He looked down and smirked, a bottle of lube sat in his calloused hands. Jace casually put it aside and hummed, “Gotta get my pretty girl ready first hm?”

The girl almost shrieked when familiar lips met eachother again, Jace lapping and suckling her clit. He sighed, “Y-you’re so fuckin’ wet baby.” She shoved him back down, thighs shaking. Jace flicked his tongue as one, two, three all eventually fit into her tight pussy. Sloppy noises outweighed the background drift of music.

Stark cried and shivered, “Ah-haaah, Jace, fuuuck! Another, Jus’ one more! So close.” He could almost cum right then at her broken voice. Easing a pinky inside, she gasped and shuddered, coming undone when Jace flicked the sensitive spot under the hood of her clit and fucked all fingers up in the way she liked.

“Jace! Jace! Fucking god!,” she hollered.

He kept his mouth wide open for her gush of arousal, moaning and slurping eagerly, until she whimpered and shied backwards. Jace simply took his essence covered hand and jacked his cock a couple of times. He eyed her sated look and asked, “Still want this baby?”

“Uh-huh,” she rasped, legs wide open, cunt twitchy and still shining with arousal.

Jace slathered himself further down with the KY, even taking time to work her stretched opening, earning the cutest little noises. Now pressed on top, chest to chest, stomach to stomach, they stared intensely. She thumbed his cheek and murmured, “I really, really care for you Jacaerys. M’sorry for freaking out. I could probably spare this for later but,” he kissed her gently, hands smoothing up and down soft skin.

“S’okay, I promise, I care for you so much. Now just relax, we both gotta make this work okay?”

Another kiss and Jace led the heavy blunt tip to her soaked entrance. Oh god. He can’t believe this was happening. He tucked his cheek next to the fellow brunette to listen for anything, lacing fingers with her own. It was a big stretch, her panting going hoarse as the first few inches slid in.

Fucking hell. She was like Heaven, so tight n’ silky hot. She gasped, “K-keep goin’ Jacaerys, c’mon.” Soon the fattest part of his length was deep inside, cockhead nearing her cervix. One more push and they were snug as possible— joined completely. In a sweaty tangle of limbs, half-mewling cursed and sweet words.

She kissed him deeply, licking into Jace’s mouth, sighing, “I can feel you, hell, so ah deep.” He could feel it too, the lump in her lower belly. Puffing softly he asked, “Can I? Can I try?” Another peck to sweeten the deal.

“Go for it stud, be gentle.”

He slid back inch by agonizing inch, mouth open with helpless moans of her name. Every inch of her cunt was pulling along him, wanting to suck back in. Then gathering his wits, Jace forced himself up, the she-wolf mewling in glee. Unsteady at first, Jace developed a good pace, sweat dripping down his back, and god knows what leaving his mouth.

She scratched and cried at his shoulders, legs wrapped tight around slim hips. She warbled, “S’good, only you, only you stud, fucking me so good.” Jace’s hips stuttered at that, picking up the pace before he blew from her just being…sexy. Soft slick noises developed into full-on slaps and squeals.

Jace rambled, “Tight- s’tight- ohgodyoursoperfect! Ohhh-only mine!”

He was falling apart fast, balls tight and nerves on fire to bust a nut. She swirled lithe fingers around where they were joined then to her clit, crying and carrying on. Jace rapturously watched— her fingers, their copulation, the belly bulge. In a frenzy he pulled out with a load groan, painting her legs and the bed with loads of spunk.

Unable to catch his breath, Jace flopped onto his belly, leg still woven with his girl’s. The pair rested for a minute, music filling the peaceful void. A raspy voice and warm body curled over to him, her nosing his hair. Practically purring she cooed, “Couldn’t have been better. Too sweet. They make you Velaryon’s different.”

Jace huffed a laugh, rolling her onto his belly, “Was is good enough you’ll call or write me when we go off? If I remember…that stuffy girl’s school isn’t too far from mine.”

Her sculpted lips curled upward, “A hop and a skip they say. Gotta get the lads from somewhere. I’ll be around.”

He grinned and squeezed her. Damn Starks.

[squishysoftmonsters]

Imagines

Imagine Types

NSFW [Naughty]

Fluff [Sweet/Wholesome]

Fluff? [Questionable but cute]

Harpy

You're Mine! [NSFW]

Human Big Mac [NSFW]

Plant

Demanding Plant [NSFW]

Sensual Dance of Love [NSFW]

Tall and Careful [NSFW]

Entangled [NSFW]

Holiday Spirits [NSFW]

Eden's Admirer [NSFW]

Plants love Cats [NSFW]

Dragon

The Tongue [NSFW]

Treats No Tricks [NSFW]

Halloween Noms [NSFW]

Off Limits! [NSFW]

Floof gone Wild [NSFW]

Werewolf

Primal [NSFW]

Fluffy Down Time [NSFW]

Thicc Fluff [NSFW]

The Skinny Pack [NSFW]

Just Right [Fluff]

Werelion

Wild Boi [NSFW]

Recipies Out of Context [Fluff?]

For The A+ [NSFW]

Ghost

Laundry Day [NSFW]

Rough Ghost [NSFW]

Paranormal Plump [NSFW]

Corrupted Coupling [NSFW]

Seven Evil Specters [NSFW]

All We Want for Christmas [NSFW]

Alien

Cos I love You [Fluff]

Drunken Hole [NSFW]

Big Kitty BF [NSFW]

Pets in The Plumbing [NSFW]

Peen Pet Nursery [NSFW]

Face Sitting Sweetheart [Fluff?]

Egg

Eggtopia [NSFW]

Tongue/Tentacle

Riding Rough [NSFW]

Otherworldly Lovers [NSFW]

Tongue In The Woods [NSFW]

New to the Groove [Fluff?]

Faerie/Dryad

Capture Perfect [NSFW]

Tall Dark and Long [NSFW]

We Got Ourselves a Human! [NSFW]

Dom Dryad [NSFW]

Pet Fae [NSFW]

Hugs [Fluff]

Hot For Teacher [NSFW]

After School Activities [NSFW]

Vampire

Playing Till Light [Fluff]

Demon

Well Equipped [NSFW]

Being Whole is for the Weak! [NSFW]

Peen Pump [NSFW]

Going all the Ways [NSFW]

Heaven won't hear You [NSFW]

Orc

Hole Sweet Hole [NSFW]

Orc Doc [NSFW]

Strong Dong [NSFW]

Kiss and Make Love [NSFW]

Moth

Cuddles [Fluff?]

Not Enough Stuffing [NSFW]

Good Book [Fluff]

Fill Me Up as We cuddle [NSFW]

The Cuddle above all Cuddles [NSFW]

Minotaur

That's NOT All Folks [NSFW]

Wiggle Jiggle Clatter [NSFW]

Softie Cow [Fluff]

Naga

Floofy Savior [Fluff]

Hunter vs Hunter [NSFW]

Uncategorized

Erreday is The Monster Mash [NSFW]

Horny Plant Rambling [NSFW]

Fine Selection [NSFW]

Thanksgiving Pet [NSFW]

Stuffin Before the Grind [NSFW]

Unprotected Variety [NSFW]

Gentle Cleric [NSFW]

Otherworldly Clinical Trial [NSFW]

Slime Booty Vacay [NSFW]

The Nameless Variety [NSFW]

Slime Lover [Fluff?]

Normalize [Fluff]

WHAT WE HAVE SO FAR ON THE MONSTER MENU!

[kstarlitchaotics]

*Bruce coming in with a 6 pack*: Boys what did I tell you about the alcohol? After all of our talks you still think it's cool? Well it's not! So sit down and watch!

*Jason Tim Damian sits down*

Bruce: Look at me I'm mister cool. *Opens an can*

*five minutes later*

Bruce: I'm the grooviest dude you ever groove with. *crying* I love you boys so much! Who wants a hug?

*Brucie doing karaoke, passes out*

Jason: Took him long enough to find that beer hiding in the garage.

Tim: Yeah, but it was so worth it.

[salaminus]

Rex & Cody and the unclear connection points

Summary:

Rex and Cody recently got Natborns on the ship who are actually civilians and of course they can spawn randomly in the galaxy, not to mention they have some potential for anything that can burn. Time for a briefing

Non-native speaker, pleaser bear with me.

Masterlist

Rex has two headaches. One is called Anakin Skywalker, is practically the same age as him in Natborn years, wields a glowstick and has never landed a ship without it being destroyed. The second is a baby Jedi edition with pointy teeth and an even pointier tongue - small, so small, so inexperienced, so eager to learn, but.... SMALL! And of course it comes after the first headache, Rex never has it easy. There was even a song written about it, 'I like it rough' by Lady Gaga - Rex recently got one of those strange cell phone devices, packed with music from an alien planet, which he listens to while typing reports. And he makes playlists, depending on his mood, the 'Headache' series in gradations from one to four. Playlist Two-three-quarters is currently playing, blaring out of the small device on the metal plate, next to a crooked tower of datapads. Framed in a really picturesque way, a few more are scattered across the plate, always nicely lined up, as straight as possible, because Rex doesn't like clutter.

The only thing that doesn't fit into the picture is the bottle, the liquid in it is dark red, a strange contrast to the other light and dark gray in the cabin, especially as it glows because it illuminates the lamp above the desk. Rex has thrown his legs up on the table - the door is closed, no one can see him like this and that's a good thing - and rubs his temples with one hand before stretching and reaching for the bottle. A very slow movement, as he still has a datapad on his thighs that he doesn't want to drop. The display grins at him, the grooves roll down gently, always at the same regular intervals, spreading a cold blue-white light - because there's nothing there. He hasn't typed a single letter yet, there isn't even a heading because he has deleted it.

Education - inappropriate, doesn't hit the nail on the head, too complicated, raises too many questions. Nici and Jojo - sounds like porn, he'll never save it anywhere where Wolffe can find it and make stupid comments. Natborn operating instructions - See above, this is even worse. Rex must know, he knows his vod'e, even Bly howls with laughter at the title and he wasn't really susceptible to dick jokes. My fourth headache - If a Medic somehow reads this, Redcross will annoy him again. He can actually ignore him, but recently there's a younger brother in the medbay (Kix, because their names are the same length and share a letter, Rex likes him) and he flinches every time he pulls the Medic title, but he does (and Rex doesn't like that).

Cody's problem - Would be lying, it's his own, because OF COURSE they didn't show up on the Negoiator, no, no, no, they showed up on the Resolute. Of course.

For now, Rex puts the bottle on and takes a big swig, even if the alcohol burns his mouth out and brings tears to his eyes - it's the weird stuff his boys have been brewing lately, he urgently needs to do more routine inspections in the barracks, otherwise they'll flood the ship and that won't end well. According to the regulations, alcohol is forbidden on duty, on the ships, on all GAR equipment. Luckily Rex is always on duty. Carousing assholes. A little absently, he shakes the bottle gently in his hand, listens to the clear liquid gurgling, then places it on the edge of the table next to his ankle. What a risk, what a danger, he of all people, the rule-abiding captain, rebels in his old age, becomes careless, not at all Cody's little nerd. Kriffin' hell. If Fox knew that, his eyes would pop out. Speaking of Fox. Rex grabs the right-hand datapad - his own, he can even feel it through his gloves, every groove on it, the light scratches. The painted Jaig Eyes, he can't, although there's even a second pair of them by now (If he already has a Natborn who is gifted at drawing who's getting on his nerves, he might as well use that, to the prime with you, Kote!)

The commander chat is empty, no new messages after the last flood of fraternal insults, Rex has to tap the arrow key a little until the chat with Fox pops up. He hasn't read the last twenty messages either (he probably doesn't even know how to do that), not that it would stop Rex from sending him another stupid holonet picture. At the same moment, the name at the top of the chat gets fat - WhatdoestheFoxsay - He says get karked is ONLINE. What's going on here? Rex is about to send him a middle finger when the door next to him shoots open- "Fuck you, Cody, you're late." He is, way late, probably his stupid ori'vod was banking on Rex already having this thing ready. Uhh, I'm marshal commander, Rex, the responsibilities, you have to understand me... Yeah, no. On principle, Cody isn't looked at, at least until the commander leans over Rex's feet and grunts as he grabs the bottle Rex confiscated for himself. "Get your own booze, what do you have Ghost for!" "Get your feet off the table, you rag." First stealing alcohol and then getting cheeky, that's what Rex likes. Cody should know better, of all people he knows how Rex deals with this sort of thing and yet he drinks far too relaxed - at least until Rex elbows him in the stomach. Cody gasps, tears his eyes open, actually spits booze, goes down on his knees for a millisecond - ever so slightly, but Rex has seen it and can't help but laugh. "Where's your cover, what's wrong with you?" Very slowly, Cody raises the hand he's holding the bottle in, wipes the back of his hand as he stares at Rex, the semi-evil Cody look Jojo likes to call "Sauron himself". Whoever that is, the image of a glowing red eye on a tower presented to him didn't help much - speaking of Jojo. The problem part one, the reason Rex is sitting here, and Cody should be here, but he's a nasty Hutt and is, once again, late. However, Cody is of the opinion to remind Rex of his marshall commander rank, he fixes Rex again without blinking, the head slightly tilted. "Are you getting cheeky, vod'ika?" There were times when Rex was really a bit scared of him. He was three then, now he's twelve, soon to be thirteen - which Cody seems to like to forget, as well as that they have the same training, only Rex, because he was planned as a CT, didn't become a commander and won't be because his Jedi has a Padawan. Because Rex only folds his arms behind his head and smiles compassionately at his ori'vod, Cody bares his teeth for half a second. "Oh, you asked for it, karking little shit...!"

And then he leaps forward, throwing himself at Rex with all his weight before Rex can get the blaster out of the holster. "You don't stun me, don't stun me, Rexi!" He's totally going to do that, Cody will see, for now they roll around on the ground, trying to pin each other, before Cody goes limp all at once and just stays on Rex's chest like he's a pillow. "I'm getting too old for this shit, why did I train you again..." So that they can now both sit side by side in front of Rex's bunk, legs stretched out, the questionable bottle between them. It's half empty by now, Cody's eyes are glassy, Rex's own are certainly glassy too, but he can't see that. However, he can already see his vo'd, who has rested his head on Rex's leg and is scratching the bridge of his nose, just like the datapad in Cody's hand.

"Karking hell, of course we get that kind of shit and nobody else does. Can't even Ponds get kriff like that? Or Wolffe, the big bad Wolffe on a rescue mission, he knows a thing or two about civilians - we absolutely won't ask him, Rex. Never. You might, but I will not." No, Rex won't either, it's enough that the Commander calls him a puppy, no matter how many times he punches him in the face. Some things just never change, especially with Wolffe, the imperfect commander in the marshal patch. All of his batchmates - Cody, Fox, Bly - they all became marshals, except Wolffe.

Because Wolffe didn't want to. In short, if Rex asks Wolffe for help because he has two karking Natborns on his ship that the Jedi don't know exactly what to do with, he'll laugh at him, just laugh hysterically into the com, before pushing him away, guaranteed with a comment like "You wanted to join us, CT!". Rex doesn't like that (just like when the medics pull rank, but he's more likely to let Kix take care of him than ask his ori'vode for help with Nici and Jojo). Because Rex doesn't answer anything, at least not vocally, he snorts once too loudly, which makes Cody grin wickedly before his favorite brother shakes his head. His hair scrapes over the plastoid under his head, Cody reaches out for the bottle and yawns without covering his mouth. "I could ask Bly. Emphasis on could, I'm sure he already knows what's going on with us anyway. After all, his Jedi is also on the Council and she tells him too much anyway. I'm actually surprised that nothing has come-" Rex's datapad beeps, the display lights up and reports a message on priority mode in the command chat. He sticks his finger in Cody's ear. "You've jinxed it!" Unfortunately, it's Cody, who stares Rex in the eye and doesn't even react, even though Rex put his finger in his mouth beforehand. Cody's nose twitches for half a second, though, making Rex curl his lips into a grin, before he leaves Cody's ear and grabs his datapad.

BLYla REX BLYla REX REX REX BLYla REXxxxxxxx WhatdoestheFoxsay - He says get karked Shut up BLYla Rude. REEEEEX. Cody BLYla Then this way @WOLFFE . Rex and Cody have kids! NeYO is online NeYO Nova asks for more information, which ARCs are there this time BLYla has sent a picture. A blonde young woman with curls pokes Ki-Adi-Mundi through the eye, another dark-haired one looks fierce enough that Wolffe would be proud BLYla Something to say? Bacara Mood. BLYla Not you! Bacara Shameless slut Wolffe is online. Wolffe has sent a picture. WHO. IS. THAT.

That's a problem for someone else. Rex has work to do. He has to finish writing a report. Regrettably, his Ori'vod is a marshal and he needs to read the chat, especially messages sent in priority mode. Cody clicks on the chat without comment and immediately disconnects before the pad can show his status as online.

Ponds is online. Commander Cody, I can see the activity log. Anything to say to the matter?

"No," Cody grumbles against Rex's leg, rolling onto his other side. "I don't want to. I'm drunk - We finish this fucking file now and send the thing, then we're out and all the other shebse shut the fuck up. Great idea, very good, let's do it, so come on, old boy. Rex, type something." Funny, hilarious, but Rex dutifully takes the datapad - and waits. Connection points in  orders need to be clarified, so let Cody do it, because he should know best.

So far, he's just staring at the ceiling, his own datapad pushed far away from him towards the door so that he doesn't see the flashing of new messages. "Let's start with... We'll just make a list. Bullet point one: Keep away from anything flammable. Bar two: Humor is good, but inappropriate, a gag is recommended. Bullet point three: Will not die immediately in blaster fire. Follow orders, nevertheless clarify rank beforehand. Mirror line four: Mirror line four: They offer cookies if they want to apologize. Cookies are very tasty. Dash Six: Unrecognizable in the Force, the Jedi disagree on how to proceed. Until then, categorized as... Natborn in clone training. Mirror Stitch Seven: Further testing and training required. Mirror Stitch Seven and a half: Deal with it, shebse - You know what, Rexi? Who do these two actually belong to, as whom did your idiot of a general save them?" In the system, Cody says in the GAR system, they have to be listed, because Rex will start a rampage if his battalion gets less food because of Natborns. "Information person, but with the wrong form. He took the one for contact-persons." All at once, Cody jerks up vertically - he's grinning ear to ear, a real Kote-grin. Damn, did Rex miss that, they've been getting fewer and fewer since the war started, the last one was a long time ago, so karking long ago...

"Contact-persons, yes? Very well. The 501st is ultimately under the command of the Seventh Air Force Corps, in other words under my command. I just happen to be responsible for their training and development. Coincidentally. You suggest people as ARCs and I sign off on it, of course, that's how it works. So the Natborns are formally mine and not outside Jedi? They're part of the GAR, though never officially joined, of course not, because contact-persons, thank heavens for Skywalker's lack of competence...!"

Two minutes later, Rex is typing on a training form for continuing education whereas Cody is just laughing. He's still chuckling even when their request is confirmed and Kamino announces that they're expecting and scheduling the three of them to arrive in three standard weeks.

[roxygen22]

Still Here

Chapter 2

Summary: Flashback to your breakup with Timothée your senior year

C/W: Breakup

A/N: I have nothing against stay-at-home parents and homemakers. Both are their own noble full-time jobs. This is just a story about a young girl wanting to break free. And yes, the irony is not lost on me that the reader ultimately ends up in the exact situation she was running from in the first place.

Catch up on the previous chapter here.

<><><><><>

Life was stagnant in your small hometown in Tennessee. There was nothing to do, nothing to see except trees and buildings that had been around since the 1800s. The height of entertainment for teens like you was pasture parties or meeting your friends up at the Sonic drive-in for "happy hour." After high school, the boys usually either worked for the local steel mill or lumber yard. They may opt to continue their education through the area trade schools, but that was the exception, not the rule. The girls...well, the girls typically got married and had babies.

The townspeople were closed-minded traditionalists and stuck in old habits. Families, including yours, had lived there for generations. You were lucky to even find someone to date who you weren't related to by blood or marriage, and that was only because Timothée's family was a more recent addition to the town census.

You yearned for more. You were made for more. You felt it in your bones. You had no desire to be a doctor or a nurse, but you were fascinated by biology classes and a whiz in physics. And you wanted to help people. The school counselor fanned the flames by introducing you to biomedical engineering as a potential degree program.

You wore a groove in your dirt driveway with the number of times you walked to and from the mailbox every day, multiple times a day. The response letters from your numerous college applications were due in any time now. Your efforts usually yielded nothing except for bills or ads for your parents. But today, there was white envelope with your name, along with a blue and gold logo in the return address: UCLA.

Your hands shook. Your heart was about to pound its way out of your chest. The world silenced around you as your tunnel vision bore into the paper in your hands. You plunged a finger under the lip of the envelope to break the seal. You took a shuddering breath as you drew the paper out.

"Dear [Y/N] [L/N], we are happy to inform you..."

You didn't even finish reading before you started screaming and dancing in the driveway. Then you took off running back to the house to share the news with your mother.

<><><><><>

Your parents were proud of you, but of course, they were not eager to see you pack up and move across the country. You tuned them out until they said something about being in for a rude awakening because you didn't know what life was like out there, to which you said, "That's the whole point."

You grabbed your car keys and stormed out the door. You were determined not to let them kill your excitement. They just couldn't picture a life for you outside of their bubble. You drove around the backroads with your windows down and music loud, trying to drown out the replay of your parents' conversation. Without much thought, you eventually found yourself driving around the town square. You saw Timothée's truck outside of the hardware store. You checked the time - he should be finished with his evening shift soon. So you parked and walked over, lowering the tailgate to sit.

The two of you had been friends as long as you could remember and sweet on each other for years. You became an official item when you were sophomores and had been joined at the hip since.

Seeing the store's door open shook you from your thoughts. You saw him exit, head down and hands in his pockets. Right on time. You loved how his face lit up when he saw you across the street. He checked for traffic, then jogged over.

"Hey, baby! I wasn't expecting to see you tonight." He pecked your lips with his and placed his hands on your knees.

"Hopefully, it's a pleasant surprise," you replied with a raised eyebrow and a playful smirk.

"Oh, very. The highlight of my day." He kissed you once more, deeper this time, and flashed that crooked grin you loved so much. "Though my curiosity is piqued by this unusual visit on a school night."

You held out the envelope for him to see. "I got in, Timmy. And they are awarding me a full ride! My parents won't have to worry about how to finance things and I won't have to take out student loans."

Timothée took the envelope in hand and brushed his thumb over the logo. "California, huh?" he asked quietly.

"Last I checked, that's where Los Angeles is located," you chuckled.

"You're serious about this, aren't you?" His brows were furrowed, and his typically full lips pressed into a thin line.

Your mouth fell open in shock. Why couldn't anyone just be happy and excited for you today? "Of course I'm serious. That shouldn't be a surprise. You even encouraged me to apply to out-of-state schools!"

Timothee held a hand to his forehead and stepped back. "Yes, because I didn't want you to wonder if you could get in. But, I didn't think you would seriously consider packing up and moving across the country if they accepted you!" he shouted and threw his hands in the air.

Your voice seemed like a whisper compared to his current tone. "If I don't leave now, I will never get out of here. I HAVE to get out of here. This place is a black hole. It eats your hopes, your dreams, your ambition. I have a lot to offer the world, and I can't do that from here. I don't want to be stuck, like our older friends, my cousins, my PARENTS. I'll just end up with a baby on my hip playing Suzie Homemaker and making nothing of myself."

"Starting and taking care of a family isn't nothing, [Y/N]. I thought...I thought we would be together forever. That WE would have that family."

"One doesn't preclude the other, Timmy. Come with me."

Timothée quietly scoffed as his eyes fell. "I have no prospects in California."

"And there's nothing for me here."

His head shot up in shock. The hurt was evident on his face. "Nothing? NOTHING?! Wow, [Y/N]."

"Timmy, that's not-"

"Just go, [Y/N]." His lip wobbled. "Obviously you think you are too good for this town. Too good for me. It's better that we call off...whatever this is...now so you can completely start over."

<><><><><>

Chapter 3

Masterlist

<><><><><>

Tag List: @croatianprincess

[b-skarsgard]

Exploring their relationship in its early stages (in real time instead of in flashbacks, as was the case in both the graphic novel and the 1994 film adaptation) makes Eric’s journey all the more poignant when Shelly is eventually taken from him. “He cries in the middle of action sequences. He doesn’t have a bloodlust. He’s not a nihilistic killer. He’s doing it to get her back. He hates what he’s having to do and what he’s becoming,” he says. While some of the best scenes in the film involve Eric and Shelly getting to know each other after escaping from a correctional facility together, viewers will be surprised to learn that those scenes would have been cut from the film if test screening audiences would have had their say. “When we first screened the movie, people were like, ‘I wanted him to be The Crow in the second minute,’ and it’s like, ‘No,'” reveals Sanders. “I had to fight for that beginning of the movie a lot because I would have rather had more there and then just showed him becoming The Crow in the last few minutes and then go into the next adventure with him now as The Crow. But I think where we’re different as well from the original is that there’s a beautiful love story between those two, and if he’s going to go on this journey, which is taxing to him; no one wants to kill anyone. In the comic, he’s just avenging her flashback.” Bill Skarsgård delivers a phenomenal performance as Eric Draven, capturing the physical intensity of the character while also bringing a more soulful, emotional side to him in the process. Sanders had previously connected with Skarsgård on another project that fell through (a planned film adaptation of Tim O’Brien‘s The Things They Carried) but felt they had found a “groove together” while they were developing that project, which led to his casting in The Crow. Sanders describes Skarsgård as “an amazing physical performer” with a duality of “tenderness and terror” that perfectly suits the role. “Bill played that in the performance well enough; it was almost like the tattoos and the muscularity were a warning of, ‘Keep away from me.’ Shelly describes him in the film as beautifully broken, and I think he was, and then she made him whole. And then that was taken from him and that was the emotional center of the movie.” Skarsgård filmed The Crow back-to-back with another action-packed film, Boy Kills World, which hit theaters earlier this year. But he also tested for the role of Eric while he was filming Boy Kills World, reveals Sanders, who says Skarsgård would send him test footage from the set of the film to convince him he was right for the role. “He sent me a couple of pictures and he did a couple of little beats of just him where we were like, ‘How can we show each other that we’re right for this?'” says Sanders. “And so I pitched him the opera scene and said, ‘You come on stage and you tell the audience of the violence that you’re having to perpetrate, and how it breaks you,’ and then he did a little bit of an action sequence because he was working on Boy Kills World so he was in the stunt rooms anyway. He went in on a Sunday, did a bit of that and then he did this soliloquy where he was really broken and coming out on stage.”

read more at the link

[kiribaku-queen]

Start of an Obsession [18+]

Pairing: Kirishima x reader x Denki

WARNING: 18+ pure smut, threesome, anal penetration, vaginal penetration, face fucking, double penetration

Word count: 7.2k

A/N: This was meant to be uploaded as a birthday present to me, but I guess it will now be a Christmas present. Finally turned that idea into a full out scenario which now.... thinking about having 4 parts to it???? I'll see how ya'll like this first part first before thinking about the others. But, enjoy! Smut is so hard to write for and this was the craziest scenario I've written thus far! i got really tired so the ending was very rushed but use your imagination lmao

The club lights flashed all around you with their vibrant colors. You could feel the alcohol running through your veins, feeling more and more loopy the more you danced. You closed your eyes, letting your body groove to the loud beats of the music. There was nothing on your mind. You danced and drank to your heart's content, living in the moment and not having a care in the world. There were bodies all around you, the dance floor looking like canned tuna, so packed and crowded that there was no room to really make way. That was expected, since it was a Friday night in a college town. Everyone was trying to get away from the studying, the tests, the homework, the idiotic teachers. Question is, who isn’t at the club de-stressing their life away?

He had his eyes on you the moment you made your way into the club. You were surrounded by your best girl friends, laughing and eager to drink the night away. He couldn’t pinpoint exactly why he was instantly attracted to you. It could have been the way that dress hugged your body just right - hugging all the right curves, your dress purposely scrunched in the back to accentuate your ass. And that color. That red wine color of a dress that you wore. That color which just so happened to be his favorite color. You looked good in red. It could have been your incredible smile, that was so big you practically lit up the whole room. Anyone would stop and stare just to get a glimpse of that smile, that bright expression that you kept constant on your face. It was contagious. You could catch anybody’s attention across the room. And boy, did you get all the attention.

Kirishima watched as you danced your little heart away in the middle of the dance floor, taking slow sips of his drink. From where he was at the bar, he had the perfect view of you. And he could see how you attracted every man’s attention. He could see how eager some men were wanting to get to you. There were many techniques being used to get your attention. Different friend groups were pushing each other to you, in hopes that one of them got the courage to talk to you. Some were very obvious in their advances, trying to come right up behind you and dance along with you as you threw it back on that dance floor. That always came with no luck, because your friends had eagle eyes. The moment they saw some guy trying to feel you up, they would grab your arm and pull you toward them like a protective mama bear. Some guys would even be as idiotic as to purposely spill their drink on you, in hopes to spark up a conversation. That interaction actually ended up as them being glared at by you. So that was a no go. 

Kirishima got tired of seeing everyone shoot their shot only to get rejected time and time again. Would he get the same result? The hennessy kicked in at the perfect timing. The golden liquid of courage told him that the time was right and that he needed to make his move on you now. And the alcohol was always right, wasn’t it?

The red-head took one last final gulp of his drink, shooting it down his throat regardless of how much it stung, and started to make his way toward you. He barely took a single step forward before he ultimately froze in his spot. He saw you bump into a certain guy, a familiar face whom he recognized extremely well. All Kirishima could do was smirk, sit back down, and enjoy the show.

You were too busy enjoying the night away to realize where you were. You had no perception of space. You couldn’t even tell if your friends were around you or not. But the music had you in the perfect mood. Every song they played fit your music taste just perfectly, allowing you to fully immerse in yourself. Maybe you should have been paying a little bit of attention to where you were stepping, because then maybe you wouldn’t have bumped into the person right behind you. You squealed in surprise by the sudden body and hurriedly turned around.

“Sorry!” you called out over the loud, banging music. You hoped that they would brush it off and not get too angry at you for almost knocking them over. But the cute blonde flashed you a dashing smile to your surprise. 

“You’re good!” he reassured you. And you think that would be the end of it, but something about his smile made you stop and stare at his face. He was so cute, like a puppy. His eyes were big, bright and playful. He smiled like there wasn’t a care in the world and it really attracted you. The guy you bumped into seemed to have the same idea as you, checking you up and down.

“I’m Denki, by the way,” he introduced himself, leaning closer to you.

“(y/n),” you said after a moment’s thought. Were you going to allow this cute stranger to flirt with you? Despite how cute he was, he looked like trouble. But could also be kind of fun.

“You know, I wouldn’t mind you bumping into me more often,” he smiled at you. And there it was, the flirting.

“Well we are on the dance floor. Kind of inevitable, isn’t it?” you played hard to get, not falling for his tricks just yet.

“Huh, you’re right! We are on the dance floor!” he joked, looking around him like he didn’t know where he was. It caught you off guard, making you laugh out loud at his antics. “Then I guess you need to dance with me.”

“Need to? I don’t think I need to,” you played.

“Think of it as payback for bumping into me.”

“Can’t be considered payback if I want to do it,” you say, biting your lip and looking up at him with seductive eyes.

“Oh yeah?” Denki’s eyes turn sultry, grabbing you by the waist and pulling you into him. “Show me what you got then.”

You and Denki start to dance together, and you didn't know you could have this much fun. Denki was emitting the same energy as you, never messing up the vibe, not even once. Your friends were about to pull you away from this stranger trying to talk you up but when they saw you flirting and interacting first, they left you alone, not thinking that it was a big deal if you were the one initiating first. All throughout the night, you and Denki flirted with each other nonstop. Giggles and flirty glances were evident in both parties. 

Kirishima wasn’t one to be the jealous type. In fact, he was actually enjoying the show. His eyes lowered themselves to center on your ass grinding against Denki’s crotch, him moving along to the beat with you. Stupid Denki couldn’t even hide the fact that his hard on was showing. Kirishima could only imagine how you would feel, your ass rubbing against him. He could imagine you moving slowly, knowing full well your teasing could make him go wild. The lewd thought caused a strain in the red-head’s pants which was quite uncomfortable. And he knew how he was going to get rid of it.

Denki’s hands hugged your waist tight, flushed to his body as his lips ran kisses down your neck. The more you felt his hands started to feel your body and the more his lips sucked in naughtier places, the more turned on you were feeling and you didn’t know much more you could take it.

“Wanna get out of here?” he offered. And thank god he did, because a second delay and you would have thought you would just take him right then and there. But before you could answer, his eyes concentrated from you to something behind you. You followed his gaze and your jaw practically dropped to the floor. Maybe not quite literally but you could not hide the expression on your face that you were absolutely starstruck.

A big, muscular, toned, beefy, chiseled, God-like man appeared out of nowhere and just so happened to be standing in front of you. He was delicious. Okay, inappropriate to say (y/n)! Get those dirty thoughts out of your head! Damn, you couldn’t help it though. He really was everything you wanted in a man. Someone who was strong with a much bigger build than you. Someone who had a soft heart but knew how to man handle you in the bedroom. He doesn’t look like a softie, but he sure looks like he knows how to toss a woman around. God, and his hair up in a low ponytail? You wanted to grip his red locks as he thrust… And we are back with the dirty thoughts. You had to stop thinking about this very attractive specimen of a man, even though you could feel your wet cunt aching for him.

“Kirishima, perfect timing,” the boy who you were just dancing with greets the mysterious stranger. Your jaw dropped again. Is this really happening? Apparently it was because there’s no mistaking their relationship judging by their handshake and bro hug that most men like to do.

Shit.

They look close, too. Why, oh why was this happening to you? Sure, as much as you loved how cute, funny and energetic Denki was, you wanted him. He was everything you wanted in a man. One could only imagine how much your heart dropped when you saw that they were close friends. Well, what do you do now? You were literally about to go home with the blonde, but the man of your dreams was only standing a foot away from you.

“We were just about to head back,” Denki announced to his friend, all while putting his arm around your shoulder. 

“Mind if I joined you guys?” Kirishima asked. Great. Not only were they good friends, but they were roommates, too? What’s next? Find out that they are lovers?

“Yeah, man! Uber’ll be here in…” Denki starts to look at his phone, but Kirishima wasn’t finished.

“Nah, I meant… can I join you guys,” Kirishima’s words made Denki look back up at the man, like he didn’t hear him correctly. Denki tried communicating with his face, lifting an eyebrow as if asking if he was serious. Kirishima gave him a little shrug, saying why not? Now look. Denki was no stranger to messing around here and there. He’s been known to do a little crazy, experimental stuff. So he was all in, only if you were all in. But were you all in? Denki couldn’t help but take a nervous glance at you. Kirishima was pulling a rather risky move. For all he knows, you could have gotten offended at his words and stormed away, leaving him with no pussy for the night. 

“Look man, I don’t know,” Denki started to reject. Kirishima could already sense his hesitancy before he even spoke. So he took one look at you and knew you wanted him as much as he wanted you. How could you not? He was giving you the eyes! You know, the ones where he’s practically undressing you and imagining what you looked like under that pretty dress of yours.

“Come on, when were you one to reject a little bit of fun? Cause this looks like it can be a lot of fun,” Kirishima focuses his attention back to you, taking a step closer with every word. He needed to be closer to you. He can’t bear to be any further away from you. And you really liked how transparent he was being, clearly stating who and what he wanted. Which made you even more attracted to this man, biting your lip to hide the smile that was creeping on your face. Kirishima smirked at your reaction, finally getting close enough to feel your breath on his lips.

“Little lady looks like she wants to,” he states, lips ghosting over yours. Your lids are halfway closed, staring at his parted lips. You’re about to go in for a kiss, but he backs away, making you chase him. “You want it, dontcha?” he looks into your eyes. You looked back at Denki, gave him your best pout and pleaded with your eyes. Given that face, how could he say no?

-

The door to the apartment busted open with you and Denki stumbling in, never separating from each other. You held his face and kept him close, not wanting to stop kissing while he was trying his best to lead you to the bedroom. Kirishima wasn’t far behind. He let you two do your thing, shutting the front door more gently than when you opened it. You obviously couldn’t see where you were going, so you thought Denki would have a better idea on where to go. But you got shocked when the cold wall hit your back.

“Fuck, sorry,” Denki barely apologized after you playfully slapped his chest. Instead of continuing to head to the bedroom, Denki presses you against the wall, distracted now that there was no movement. You couldn’t help but smile into the kiss, Denki doing the exact same. Kissing him was so fun, so playful. You guys could only kiss all night and you really wouldn’t be too bothered by that. But that would have to be saved for another time because right now, you were trying to be fucked by two gorgeous guys.

“Mm, Denki, the bed,” you urged him. Denki got the message, guiding you back to the bedroom. You barely make it two steps into the bedroom before Kirishima is pushing Denki off you.

“My turn, idiot,” Kirishima grumbles and pulls you into him, claiming your lips as his. The way he kisses was so different from Denki. He had more passion, more strength, more power. The more he kissed, the more breathless you were. But that only made you crave more of him. Lips and teeth were crashing into each other, tongues danced one another. You couldn’t get enough. That’s when you felt a hand being placed under your chin, and all of a sudden another pair of lips found yours. Denki was back to kissing you, which you still enjoyed. As long as someone was kissing you.

Both boys were fighting over whose turn it was. You almost couldn’t keep up. They kissed you in a hungry haste, both wanting a taste of you. But every time it was Kirishima’s turn, he tended to make out with you a little bit longer than Denki. He wanted to show you that he really really wanted you, and if that was by making out with you for a couple seconds more than Denki, then so be it. And because he wanted you, he needed to have you now. 

So, he grabbed you by the ass, lifting you up until you wrapped your legs around his waist, and walked over to where the bed was. You thought he was going to drop you down on the bed, but instead, he climbs on the bed with you still wrapped around him. When he gets to the middle of the bed, that’s when he finally drops you. But even then, Kiri’s lips never left yours. Denki was quick to join you guys on the bed, coming up behind you to move your hair to the side and starts placing kisses down your neck. His hands skillfully roams your body, feeling every curve of yours. And then eventually, carefully takes off your dress, slipping the straps off your shoulders and down your body. Exposing your body inch by inch, leaving you nothing but mismatched bra and panties. Denki snickers behind you and kisses close to your ear.

“That’s cute,” Denki pointed out, referring to how your bra and panties don’t match like most women when they go out for a night out.

“Shut up. I wasn’t planning on having sex tonight,” you mumble against Kiri’s lips. Kirishima took this moment to take a peek and indeed, they were not matching. Which made you even more charming to him.

“She’d be even cuter without them on, right Denks?” Kirishima looked deeply into your eyes while talking to his friend. 

“Don’t have to tell me twice,” and with a skillful and swift move of experienced hands, your bra was already thrown across the room, along with your panties following right after. The cold air suddenly hitting your naked body made your nipples perk up. But the warmth was instantly replaced with Denki’s large hands cupping your breasts and playing with the perky nubs. Denki made you lean back on him so he could have more access to your neck. But Kirishima needed to have some more action as well. He grabbed a handful of ass, squeezing and massaging it while his lips move from yours to the other side of your neck that wasn’t occupied by a pair of lips. Hands were roaming all over your body, your head was starting to get fuzzy. You couldn’t help but let a moan escape your lips and leaned back against Denki’s shoulders. But now you realized that you were the only one naked.

You grabbed both of their shirts and lightly tugged on them, hoping that they would get the hint. But neither of them seemed like they were going to remove their shirts any time soon. So you tugged on them harder, grabbing more of their shirt to get their attention. But still, nothing. You could feel Kirishima smirking against your skin.

“If you want it off, you gotta use your words, sweetheart,” Kiri said.

“Please,” you tried, but he was not impressed with your words.

“You think that was good enough,” Kirishima consults Denki, looking up at the male.

“I think she can do better,” Denki growled in your ear.

“You heard him,” Kirishima smacks your ass so hard that you let out a yelp. “Try again.” he demanded. You gulped and bit your lip.

“Please, take it off,” you tried again, voice all needy and desperate. But it wasn’t good enough. You gasped when Denki grabs you by the throat and pulled you closer to him so that your ear was right by his mouth.

“Didn’t hear you. What’d you say?” he says right in your ear. He wanted to be as close to you to hear you beg for more. He wanted to feel the vibrations of your words against his hands as you use your pretty words like a good girl. You were already embarrassed that they had to make you ask for it twice, but another time? You fucking lose your mind, escaping their grasp, turning around and placing a rough kiss on Denki’s lips. You grip onto his shirt like your life depended on it and beg again.

“Please, please, please. God, please. I don’t wanna wait anymore. I need you naked. I need you to touch me. I need you to fuck me, please,” you beg with even more desperation in your voice. If they weren’t going to willingly strip, then you were going to have to take it by force. You started pulling on Denki’s pants, wanting it off so bad. You were lucky that Denki was beyond attracted to you. He didn’t wait another beat to discard all articles of clothing from his body. Finally, a smile from you. But it quickly faded when you saw that Kirishima hadn’t started taking off any of his clothes yet.

“Why aren’t you taking your clothes off?” you ask. You thought you had deserved it. Denki was taking it off, which means that you begged enough, right? 

“You haven’t satisfied me yet,” he says plain and simple. Sure you begged. But you begged to Denki. Not him. So you try to seduce him, now leaning into him. You place a gentle hand against his chest while the other hand goes to lift his chin so that he was looking at you. Kirishima’s eyes didn’t know where to look, at your eyes or your parted lips. But you leaned into him and he’s thinking that you were about to kiss him judging by the way your eyes are fixated on his lips. But you stop right before your lips touch and look up at him.

“I can satisfy you real well if you let me,” you whisper, your hand moving down to feel his hard on. Kirishima sucks in a harsh breath at the touch. “All you gotta do is take this off,” you continue to say, tugging on his belt. 

“Fuck,” he lets out a shaky breath.

“Let me show you how satisfied you can really be,” you begin to voluntarily take his pants off and surprisingly, he lets you. You wanted to create some tension, make him feel some sexual frustration since he did that to you. So you unzipped his zipper ever so slowly, your eyes never leaving his gaze. Then, slowly there goes his pants, only leaving him in his boxers. But you weren’t done playing with him just yet. His hard on could be seen through his underwear, just aching to be let free. You lean down to be leveled with his cock. You could already smell how excited he was. And it sent electricity straight down to your core. You could feel yourself clenching over nothing. Through his underwear, you took one long lick of his cock. Kirishima groaned in frustration. Oh, how he wanted to feel your tongue on him now. The tip of his cock was peeping out of his boxers and you couldn’t wait anymore. You pulled his boxers down, letting his cock spring free. You could feel your mouth water at the sight. You wanted to worship him, at how big and pretty his cock was. And that’s exactly what you were going to do.

You finally wrapped your lips around him, barely managing to fit it in your mouth. Feeling how tight your mouth was around him made him curse even more, running both hands through his hair. That’s when finally, finally Kirishima takes his shirt off. A little victory for you. But then you feel something poking at your entrance. You yelp at the sudden intrusion and before you knew it, Denki had fully entered you. The force of him made you move forward, gagging on Kiri’s cock. Denki didn’t prep you at all, but it’s not like you needed it anyway. Plus, the way his cock stretched you out felt so good. You could feel the way your wet cunt wraps around him, molding into the shape of his cock. The way it hurt so good had you a moaning mess. The vibrations of your moan resonated around Kiri’s cock which in turn caused Kiri to moan at your actions.

There was so much going on at once. You were trying so hard to concentrate on making Kirishima feel good. When you heard him moan for the first time, you instantly became obsessed and wanted to see him be a moaning mess. But it was hard to do that when Denki was fucking you from behind. You weren’t expecting him to fuck you like he was, but was fucking good. Your eyes were rolled in the back of your head and you wanted to let out all your moans, all your screams, begging Denki for more. But Kiri’s fat cock blocked your voice from coming out. If there were any sounds coming out of you, it was the sound of you swallowing Kiri whole, the fat head of his dick hitting the back of your throat with every thrust. 

“She feels fucking good, Ei,” Denki couldn’t help but comment. His head was thrown back feeling like he was in paradise. He grabbed a hold of your ass with both of his large hands, giving it a good squeeze. Denki loved the primal feeling of rutting into your messy cunt that he needed something to hold onto. The sounds were so lustful, your pussy getting wetter and wetter with your juices with each forceful thrust of his.

“You should fucking feel her mouth,” Kiri says. He grips your hair in his fingers by the base and pulls his dick away from you, multiple strings of spit connecting your swollen lips with his angry, red tip. At the same time, lifting your head to make eye contact with him. 

“You must suck a lot of dicks, huh, baby girl? Is that why you’re so good?”

You didn’t answer him. Actually you couldn’t answer him. Not with Denki going to pound town behind you. Everything coming out of your mouth were either whimpers or whines. Your mind was going blank. Even if you wanted to say something, you physically couldn’t make up a single word. What could you say? That sucking dick was your favorite pastime? That you enjoy when they are face fucking you? That you like when drool and spit are running down your face as they push their fat cocks as far down your throat as they can? That you want to look ruined, like a complete mess. Because you could handle it. You could handle as much as they are willing to give you. You swear Kirishima could read your thoughts when you instinctively stick your tongue out. He knew exactly what you wanted.

Kirishima had a proud smirk on his face. Cock in hand, he slapped it against the flat of your tongue. The weight of it alone surprised you. He felt so heavy. And he was teasing you. Only tapping it on your tongue but never fully submerging it in your mouth.

“What did we say earlier, sweetheart? Use your words if you want it,” Kirishima demanded, purposely dragging his cock all over your face, just missing your parted lips every time. You tried following him, moving your head to wherever his cock was, hoping that it would fall in place accidentally and you would get your way. But you never get your way easily. Ashamed, you put your head down, biting your lip to suppress your moans and any shameful noises coming from your mouth.You thought Kiri had all control over you, but Denki made it a point to make his appearance known. He grabbed you by the base of your hair, forcing you to look up at Kiri.

“Answer him, bitch,” he growled. You looking up allowed your throat to be open and free, your whimpers continuing right back up. You shook your head.

“I said,” Denki began and gave your ass a hard smack, causing you to scream out loud. “Answer.him.”

“Co~ck,” you cried, physical tears running down your cheeks. You were trying your best to be an obedient girl, and you usually were. But these boys were making you go crazy. You were on the highest cloud 9. 

“What about my cock, hm? What do you want my cock to do to those pretty lips?” Kiri grabs you by the chin. You open your eyes, giving him your best puppy eyes. The tears glossed over your eyes created more of an effect, making you look even more irresistible to Kirishima.

“Ruin me,” you beg. No more words are needed. Kiri’s cock found his way back to your lips and you felt like you were complete again. He took it slowly in the beginning. Thrusting his hips towards you while shoving your head down. But with each new thrust, he got faster. Harder. Rougher. You wanted a ruined face? Kiri was going to be sure you got that. Spit and drool ran down your chin, creating a puddle on the sheets below you as he fucked your face. He frequently removed his cock from your puffy lips to allow you to gasp for air momentarily, then he was right back to using your dirty mouth. Kirishima is not taking it easy on you, really thrusting to his heart’s content. But it was short lived.

“God, I want to feel her too,” Denki breathes. As much as he wanted to keep fucking your pussy, he was getting even more turned on seeing his best friend fuck your face that he needed to try it himself.

“Switch?” Kiri suggested. Denki nodded his head enthusiastically and held out his hand. They slapped hands, dabbing each other up and then Denki pulled out, leaving you empty. Kirishima does the same thing. You try to keep Kiri in your mouth as long as possible, sucking him off until the very end. With both men off you, you felt exhausted. Completely fucked out of your mind but you knew they were far from done with you.

“She’s fucking good,” Kiri compliments you, walking over to where Denki used to be and climbed on the bed to be on top of you. 

“Yeah?” Now Denki was at the edge of the bed, his cock standing tall and proud in front of your lips. “I want to see if your mouth is as good as he says.” You were about to devour him, but Denki had other plans.

“Lay on your back, baby,” he whispers to you. You oblige. But once laying on your back, Denki puts his hands under your back and shoulders, picking you up and moving you closer to him. When he sets you back down, your head was dangling off the edge of the bed. Kirishima’s body was towering over you, letting his hard on rub against your puffy cunt before inserting it slowly. He was girthier than Denki, for sure, so the stretch was much more significant this time. Kiri sighed in content, feeling how much tighter your pussy was compared to your mouth.

“Shit~, how can she be so damn tight,” Kiri cursed under his breath. He held onto your hips, bruises forming in the shape of his fingers from how tight he was holding you. Meanwhile, the hunk in front of you has his cock ready for you to swallow. You must admit, it was embarrassing. His cock smelled like you which was weird to think about but when you finally let your tongue run across his whole length, you could only taste him.

Denki was just as ruthless as Kirishima when it came to fucking your face. He rutted his hips into your mouth with no mercy. Being in a different position, the blonde was hitting the back of your throat but in a different place. If you didn’t know better, you would have thought that Denki was more down your throat than Kiri was. Or that’s how it felt like. 

While Denki was immersing himself with your mouth, Kirishima’s hands were roaming all over your body. He took this time to admire the body you got, hands traveling from feeling your waist and your curves to squeezing your breasts together. And your breasts looked immaculate to him at this moment. So much so, that he helped himself to a taste. Your perky middles made it into his mouth as he slurped and circled his tongue over the sensitive buds.

More spit and drool accumulated, but this time, it did not land on the sheets below you. Everything was running down the sides of your face. But because you were upside down, this became a small problem for you. All the spit went into your nose and you accidentally breathed it all in. And because Denki was fucking the fuck out of your mouth, your only source of air was through your nose. Now that was blocked and you couldn’t breath. You couldn’t go anywhere since you were help down from all positions, so you had to ferociously slap on Denki’s thighs, tapping out. Denki understood your action, snapping out of his entranced state and pulled out. He’s immediately down at your level as you cough up a storm.

“Shit, you okay?” Denki makes sure you were okay and puts a hand up to Kiri, motioning for him to stop momentarily. 

“My nose…” you managed to say, talking as if you had a cold. Denki, being the sweetheart that he was, was so kind enough to clear your nose out using his fingers. He squeezed your nose together and gathered whatever was in your nose and flicked it away. But he didn’t just clear your nose. He wiped everything and anything that was on your face to give you some relief. 

“You okay?” he asked again after a little bit. You breathed through your nose and when you couldn’t feel the burning sensation anymore, you nodded your head. Denki gives you a sweet smile and went in for a kiss. 

“Alright, ‘nough of that. Come on,” Denki says, helping you out of that awkward position. When you got up halfway, that’s when Kiri also grabs your arms and pulls you up toward him. Denki lets go when you get situated on the bed and goes to grab something. In the meantime, Kirishima is holding you in his arms from behind and places small kisses on the side of your neck.

“You sure you’re okay?” the red-head also asks you. You weren’t expecting these men who were so rough with you in bed to be so sweet in real life. It made your heart flutter. Again, you nod your head and this time, it was Kirishima’s turn to give you sweet, reassuring kisses.

“Still wanna fuck?” he asks, breaking the kiss.

“Yes, please,” you were quick to say.

“That’s a good girl,” you finally got some praise. And it made you even happier since you got it without having to beg or do anything. Denki comes back to the room with a bottle in hand. Climbing back on the bed, he cups your cheeks and looks into your eyes as if he had a very important question to ask you.

“Is it okay to do butt stuff?” he asks you, throwing you off guard. Denki chuckles at your reaction. “Have you ever done it here before?” he asks, slapping your ass.

“No…” you say at first. Of course you were preparing yourself for this moment. This was a threesome after all. You expected nothing less. Even though you’ve never had something up your ass before, you were willing to try. And if it was with these boys, you’d try anything. “But I can try.”

“Perfect.” Denki smiles. He gives his friend a look and cocks his head. Then Kirishima is moving to the head of the bed, laying on his back. On the way, he’s dragging your arm for you to climb on top of him. When you sink down on his long length, you felt at home. Like his cock was meant to be inside you. It felt exhilarating and so, so good. Being on top made him sink deeper inside you than he already was. It felt so good that you couldn’t help but bounce up and down on his god-like cock, taking in every inch of him as you can.

Kirishima puts his hands behind his head, watching you go crazy over his cock. He could watch you all day; how you were feeling and enjoying yourself. If Kiri could have you all to himself, he would carry you to his room in a heartbeat. But again, Denki had to make sure that his presence was known.

He goes up behind you, takes the lube, and smears a good chunk of it all over his cock, making sure he covered everything. Then he takes another glob and spreads it around his fingers before circling the rim of your ass. You needed to be nice and lubed up if you wanted to be ready for him. Speaking of being ready, while you were enjoying the time of your life, riding and getting distracted on a delicious cock, Denki surprised you by entering a single digit in your ass. You felt him playing in that area, but you almost couldn’t feel his finger enter you. It went in that smoothly. Which gave the electric blonde a green flag.

“Oh you’ll be fine,” he talks to himself and positions his member. Kirishima could see that the main event was about to happen and gave you one last thrust before he stopped all action. 

“Ready?” Denki looks up to gauge your reaction. To be honest, you were worried. Was this really going to work; one person is your pussy and one person in your ass? You’ve seen and heard many women who are able to, but you just weren’t sure if you were one of those people. Regardless of how you felt, you nodded your head and slowly, Denki fits the head of his cock in your ass.

God, the stretch hurt. You already felt so full with Kiri’s cock inside you, but add another thing that was just as big in your ass? It was unbelievable and all too much. The boys could tell that you were in pain from the look on your face and by the sharp cry you made. Kirishima hits Denki on the arm.

“You better take it slow,” Kirishima threatened, not like Denki already knew that. All he entered was the tip and then he pauses. He waited for you to relax and get used to him before entering more and more of him. 

The boys really helped you try to get more comfortable by distracting you with so many things. Kirishima was kissing you; your neck, your lips, your cheek, kissing the tears away. He ran his fingers up and down your sides, giving you the shivers, all while whispering sweet nothings in your ears. Denki was rubbing your back while also praising you from behind. This process of you relaxing did not happen quickly. It took you quite a long time to relax and get comfortable having two dicks inside you. But the boys were patient with you and didn’t pressure you at all. And that was surprising considering how they weren’t too gentleman like with you earlier. Once you finally think you were ready, Denki felt you unclench a little, giving him the signal.

“I’m gonna move now, m’kay?” Denki warns you. With the nod of approval from you, Denki slowly and painfully started moving in and out. But it was only Denki that moved. Kirishima was still inside you but his movements were still.

Everything was painful at first, but now you could understand why some women love it in the ass. After a point, the pain started to dull and got replaced with pleasure. You started to get the groove of it, your whole body relaxing now and your sounds of muffled pain turned into uncontrollable moaning. Although you were getting used to Denki, it wasn’t long until Kiri started to move. And that brought a whole different sensation. 

When people describe double penetration as full, they weren’t kidding. Because that was the only word to describe the sensation you were feeling. Full. Extremely, extremely full. Stuffed even. So much was happening at once, you couldn’t handle it. You dug your head in the crook of Kiri’s neck, letting the boys fuck your body. You felt helpless, being sandwiched by two very attractive, very muscular men. But you also loved it. They were both going at different speeds, Denki going way faster than Kiri was. All you could do was lay there and take it, fucked out of your mind. Meanwhile, Denki was becoming very vocal behind you. And that could only mean one thing.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum,” he announced, his tone changing from demanding and sweet to a whine.

“S-Shit, I’m gonna… fuck, I’m gonna fucking cum, ah~,” whine after whine escaped his lips. His eyebrows pinched together and he closed his eyes, concentrating on the addictive feeling that was bottling up at the pit of his stomach. 

“Ah~, fuck! Mm, ha~, (y/n)!” he called out your name and with a final thrust of his hips, hot, white liquid exploded inside your ass, spilling out the sides and making it back on Denki’s torso. Denki grabbed hold of his cock, squeezing every last drop of cum and making sure it got somewhere on your body.

“God damn,” he let out a long sigh, his sweaty chest heaving up and down. “That was good.” he compliments and gives your ass one last smack, then leaves to go clean himself up. You felt like you could barely move. You continued to lay on top of Kirishima, completely spent. It was nice, wasn’t it? It was an interesting experience, for sure and you wouldn’t be opposed to doing it again. Afterall, you could use some more practice. 

“You did such a good job,” Kirishima whispers sweet compliments to you, rubbing your arm up and down as affection. “But it’s my turn now.” And all of a sudden, you were turned on your back. Kirishima didn’t give you a moment to breathe or time to process what was happening. He’s lipped you over and pounds your pussy with everything he has. Your voice escapes you with how forceful but how good he fucked you. You had to grab his forearms to have something to hold on to. He was using so much passion that the bed was shaking violently, you were sure he was going to break the bed. He was taking it easy with you this entire night. He couldn’t fuck you like this earlier because you had someone else’s dick in your mouth and if he went wild, you would have choked. And then you had another man inside you, of course he had to take it easy for your first time. But now that it was just him, with no one else to interfere, he wasn’t holding back any longer. He wanted you all to himself and he was going to fuck you like you were his.

As if you weren’t already fucked out, Kirishima was proving to push you past your limits on how much you could take. The way his huge cock of his slid in and out of your dripping, slick folds and the veins rubbing against your walls had you about to black out. Fuck the seeing stars shit. Your whole world looked like it was caving in on you. But it felt so good, you didn’t want him to stop. You felt it soon too. Your orgasm. You felt yourself clench around him, refusing to let him go. And that feeling was all too much for Kiri. He grunted and hissed like he was in pain. When really, he could feel a powerful orgasm about to take over his body. And it was fast approaching. Kirishima took your face and leaned his forehead against yours and you both ride out your high. You swear you’ve never been fucked so good in your life. There was so much passion and you swear, you’ve fallen even more for this man.

“God, you’re so perfect,” he breathes heavily. He doesn’t pull out once he’s done cumming. He wants to stay inside of you as long as possible. But you don’t remember much after that. Because after this fuck session, you felt like you needed to pass out. And that’s exactly what you did.

A/N: :)

Tagged: @lovingbadguys

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 29/06/2024 (Coldplay, Charli xcx/Lorde, Post Malone/Blake Shelton)

Her second week for her second #1, Sabrina Carpenter stays at the top of the UK Singles Chart on an otherwise… interesting week, reflected in pretty much aspect, so… welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

content warning: language, misogyny, alcohol

Rundown

As always, we start with the notable dropouts, songs exiting the UK Top 75, which is what I cover, after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40. This week, we bid adieu to a surprisingly small selection of “Feather” by Sabrina Carpenter, “Gata Only” by FloyyMenor and Cris Mj, “As it Was” by Harry Styles and of course, since we haven’t fared well at the Euros, “3 Lions”.

As for our notable gains, since we don’t have much in the way of returns outside of Disclosure’s “You & Me” featuring Eliza Doolittle back once again at #65, we see boosts for “Mind Still” by Sonny Fodera and blythe at #68, “NIGHTS LIKE THIS” by The Kid LAROI surprisingly up big to #47, “Kisses” by BL3SS and CamrinWatsin featuring bbyclose at #44, “the boy is mine” by Ariana Grande at #39 off of the remix with Brandy and Monica (cheap idea, bad execution), “KEHLANI” by Jordan Adetunji at #29 which is a decidedly unslizzy occurrence, “DEVIL IS A LIE” by Tommy Richman at #21, “Not Like Us” by Kendrick Lamar riding the high of The Pop Out at #14 and really, the biggest story: Chappell Roan. Not only are “Red Wine Supernova” and “HOT TO GO!” up to #40 and #33 respectively, she gets her first ever top 10 hit with “Good Luck, Babe!” hitting #7.

As for the top five, we see much of the expected. “BIRDS OF A FEATHER” by Billie Eilish is at #5, Eminem’s “Houdini” is at #4, Shaboozey’s “A Bar Song (Tipsy)” is at #3 and of course, both Sabrina Carpenter songs in the top 10 stick to the top two: “Espresso” at #2 and the newer “Please Please Please” at the top spot. As for what’s below it… thankfully not a lot in sheer quantity but a lot of interest so let’s try and make sense of it.

New Entries

#69 - “Tears” - Perrie

Produced by Ido Zmishlany

These “extended” versions are a bit ridiculous recently: personally, I’d prefer my songs come complete in the package and I don’t have to find booster packs. With that said, the aforementioned extended version of this newest single from Little Mix’s second-to-most recent solo breakout, Perrie Edwards, is very good. We’ve had a lot of smooth, lounge-esque 80s pastiches on this show, but this delves so fully into glitzy synth-funk that it’s really admirable. The groove, though a bit plastic and muddy in the mix as you kind of expect from cheaper UK pop production, is undeniable and the easy guitar melody has been in my head persistently since I first heard it. Most importantly, Ms. Edwards actually plays with the instrumental and its composition as a vocalist, she doesn’t just sit afloat in the way many other singers would, and that includes, say, a Dua Lipa. The weirdly fast-paced tumble of a chorus displays that messy breakup so well and rings alarm bells in the posturing that she’s really over it, guys, she’s totally not been thinking about him, within the verses, but she’s still rightfully angry and the chorus isn’t that awkward of a tumble that it can’t carry the same swagger the instrumental from Mr. Zmishlany commands. It’s no surprise to me that this guy has worked before with people like Shawn Mendes and Sabrina Carpenter given how breezy of a listen it is, though Perrie doesn’t stumble over her own writing in the way those two do: she shares the command of the song with the funk behind her. It truly is a brilliant pop song, yet it turns out to be the one that’ll probably flop. I understand that the Little Mix girls have had, so far, very ephemeral solo stardom, but the quality is really there for a lot of them, so it’s a damn shame that the girl group fame hasn’t rubbed off more than it probably should have.

#60 - “misses” - Dominic Fike

Produced by Dominic Fike

Ah, Dominic Fike. I remember when I knew that one song which was a pretty good song, and never even needed to think about him for a second song, let alone an acting career that I couldn’t care about but have heard… not so great things regarding, as well as of course pushing out some of the most insufferable indie pop of the last few years, of which some has been covered here. This new track… okay, are you fucking kidding me? This is one minute and 14 seconds. I get Fike has gained virality more for his demos than his completed songs, and that sometimes this is valid, but you can tell how inauthentic and tacky the “distortion” here is, and the fact that it’s all packed into barely more than one minute shows me two things: 1.) the writers and producers are lazy, 2.) they’re chasing some of that success he got from dumping some, at least honest and interesting, demos onto streaming services. Oh, and a third thing: it was written and produced solely by Fike himself. That’s not particularly impressive, of course, when it’s somehow completely forgettable despite being so concise and insistent on drilling that one chorus melody into you, but he also devolves into vocal riffing midway through over an unchanging garage rock plonker that couldn’t pick up any momentum if it tried. And of course, because it’s Fike, I don’t need to tell you that the lyrics are condescending towards women. Calling her his “miss” is already off to a rough start without some needed context, and he doesn’t grant us that, instead going onto consider the relationship dead and reassuring her that she’ll be “grieved” - as if the woman in any given relationship actively wants their ex-boyfriend to grovel about them instead of just going their separate ways - before pinning the blame on her because he’s just a man who loved too much too quickly, right? The verse later basically berates her for being useless, and that when she’s not with him, she’s misguided and invisible, despite the fact that she’s so beautiful, yeah, piss off. This is a barely-constructed song with nasty attitudes on an album seemingly full of these shitty, malformed interludes and I don’t see any value in it sticking around.

#41 - “Wave” - Asake and Central Cee

Produced by Magicsticks

Nigerian singer Asake, who I’ve praised before on this show but mostly in the lower rungs of the chart and off of it entirely, is finally getting a real UK push, given the Cench feature, and whilst I liked “Lonely at the Top” largely for lyrical and performance reasons, this if anything is more of an exhibition for his producer, Magicsticks, as this is a genuinely unique instrumental here. It’s got an Afrobeats rhythm for sure, but not only is the drum pattering shakier but it’s accompanied by what I can only describe as a groan stick, which follows as weedy a melody as the later flutes. This is largely a chill song about relaxing and flexing, but the flatter sense of groove that exists here, the way the drums never embrace their full punch into long after Asake had meandered beyond the chorus, and only when Central Cee comes in, and still in a slightly staggered, stuttering way, it’s a really interesting decision that works out very well. It almost reminds me of Brazilian funk sometimes, especially with its cacophonic approach and that later screeching synth. As for content, it doesn’t really matter, but I do wish there was a little more substance or at least a less generic Cench verse, but really, the weird note the very busy and tense instrumental carries when placed against the Afrobeats genre’s use of choir vocals is really fascinating. It doesn’t fully hit, but it’s a risk that is pulled off by ensuring other elements of the mix, like Asake’s drowned out vocals or the general blandness of Cench’s cadences, are kept to the sidelines, which doesn’t lead to a fuller song but still an interesting one that is still developing on itself with extra choir harmonies and even uglier synth fuzz at its last moments. Maybe it’s not one I’ll go back to - it’s not particularly catchy - but it’s an interesting way to grab a different audience’s attention.

#37 - “us.” - Gracie Abrams featuring Taylor Swift

Produced by Aaron Dessner, Gracie Abrams, Taylor Swift and Jack Antonoff

So, Gracie Abrams, daughter of J.J. of course, released her let’s-pretend-it’s-adebut record, The Secret of Us, and surprisingly to me, despite pretty much no traction before this, it went to #1 on the albums chart: here is your golden ticket as to why. Not particularly this song, but the idea of Taylor Swift being behind this specific young singer and project, as well as making a direct appearance, absolutely helped. It also makes perfect sense considering that both of Abrams’ prior songs I had heard that charted were basically less self-realised Taylor Swift leftovers. She even got both Dessner and Antonoff on here because of course, and well, firstly, I don’t understand why this is a duet - and barely at that. Abrams derives from both her own older tracks and Taylor’s to create some unsubtle metaphors and oddly fragmented verses about a former relationship, and Taylor is here for decoration as far as thematics are concerned as there isn’t a clear attempt at implementing her vocal presence into the narrative. That’s… fine, if not lazy, but once you get to the lyrics themselves, it’s all kind of a shambles that apes Taylor’s style of writing without actually making all too much sense. I would appreciate the fantastical, forelorn imagery of “Babylon lovers hanging lifetimes on a vine”, if she didn’t ask her ex if they “miss[ed hers]”… what exactly could they miss here? If the point is that the vine represents a “lifetime”, then in what sense does it make for someone to “miss” a “lifetime”? Abrams could say that the relationship felt like a lifetime, or took a lifetime out of her, that would make sense, but it gets confused with the use of the Babylon imagery - also, the hanging gardens of Babylon are disputed to have even existed at all, but not in a concrete way where we know exactly what it’s being confused with or who exactly fabricated it, so “Babylon lovers” and the “vine” conceit feels like a cheap use of imagery without really understanding its origin, especially since Abrams makes “us” - I.e. the relationship - solid and established in that chorus.

The verses may be a bit of basic word salad, but when you try and make connections between certain ideas, they start to break down - what does being 29 years old actually have anything to do with being welcoming or open with your younger partner? If you’re going to include the “so”, there should be a connection but it’s never explained. It gets worse and worse throughout the song also: I know the “prophets”/”profits” homonym was probably just an inescapable cliché for our gang of four - even if it actually muddles the flow of that bridge - but what actually ARE the “false profits they make in the margins of poetry sonnets”? Who’s “they”, book publishers? How are the profits in any way “false”, or the exact “margins” of a sonnet relevant? Oh, and thanks for specifying “poetry sonnets”, not to be confused with the other types of sonnets that aren’t poetic, all zero of them. You could argue that part is purposefully meaningless as it criticises the guy for his misunderstanding of literature, sure, but I think to pull that off, one needs to 1.) show an understanding of the unnamed poetry he supposedly misconstrued and 2.) not, in your own poetry, express yourself in obtuse ways acting as rhythmic filler.

If you’re going to bring up Robert Bly and the irony that this guy gifted you his work without understanding its reference to masculinity and not representing the values in Bly’s work, how is this guy in any way “incomparable”? You just made a comparison! The condescending lyric from Taylor that he never “read up on” any of the literature he cared about and that he “could have learned something”, sounds really hypocritical in this song full of adding complexity and faux-poignant takes or, well, comparisons into a song ultimately lacking any nuance, because what does adding any of this meaninglessness really contribute to the general picture Taylor will paint of any ex-boyfriend in a typical song? I’m a sucker for detail lyrically but detail that actually gratifies the listener for looking carefully, not punishing them once the cracks are realised. This sounds nit-picky but is genuinely incredibly distracting for a song wherein I’m supposed to reeled into the narrative on display… and Hell, I’m always being told that Taylor is one of the greatest songwriters, so I’m not sure why I can’t nit-pick for every detail.

Obviously, this is not my only problem with the song. Dessner’s acoustic guitar is twiddly and oddly tense as well as feeling copy-pasted throughout the song, Abrams sounds like a BTEC Lorde on a chart week where we get the real deal taking genuine artistic risk - more on that later - and the chorus is a sludge of a lead vocal melody covered in feathery vocal layers that really emphasise how little is being said. If I were right-wing, I’d probably take even further offense in the sheer amount of pronouns Abrams is shoving down my ears, and honestly, I still am, because outside of the bridge, what is “us”? Why should he miss that? The bridge has all the plastic cinematic swell of a video game trailer, full with swooshing effects and some of the worst drums I’ve heard in pop this year just because of how staggered and dire they feel, they really contribute to a complete tonal clash with the supposed electricity and pure emotional feelings that the two sing about. I know this review is incredibly wrong for a song I don’t really like, but I did come into this with the idea that it’d probably be a good fit for the two to collaborate given Abrams’ influences and the potential for a really interesting narrative as a result, potentially playing off of that dynamic… yet what I get is a white, null void of platitudes that shatter at any scrutiny. Sorry, Swifties… or Abramites I suppose - this is one of my least favourite songs of the year so far.

#34 - “Pour Me a Drink” - Post Malone featuring Blake Shelton

Produced by Louis Bell and Charlie Handsome

Post Malone has yet to truly convince me on the straight-up country pivot. Sure, elements of folk and country have been vaguely reflected in his music for a while, if much lesser than the pop rock influences that have practically always been there and still largely are, but his producers are still his main guys - which I guess I can respect - and he decided Morgan Wallen wasn’t a seasoned enough veteran of Nashville so he went and bagged Mr. Gwen Stefani for the feature on yet another country drinking song… and I guess it’s fine. It’s exactly what you’d expect from a 2000s country-pop track, particularly one with some more organic fiddle but more canned drums and rock instrumentation, and I realise that I’m just describing a Blake Shelton song. Bizarrely, he fits less here than Post, who is a natural fit in his warble for this kind of casual country radio sing-a-long. Much like “I Had Some Help”, which this very much resembles, there’s a quicker pace to some of the songwriting, especially the chorus, that Shelton finds himself a bit behind sometimes, especially in that rough first verse to chorus transition. The second verse has some cool idea of chemistry between the two but it seems very forced. I can’t imagine a situation where Blake Shelton would be calling Post his “buddy” at an old bar as Post is trying to get with some girl. I think something is missing there, optics-wise… as well as a proper bridge, or any real harmonisation between the two, which also has no reason to be a duet, really. That really shows to me that Post or his label have little confidence in his ability to sell country, by lodging these veterans onto the track without any thematic relevance, and also not realising just how charismatic Post is on his own. I can imagine the dumb grin on his tatted-up face as he records the song, I’m not sure I can really imagine Blake Shelton feeling anything at all. I also don’t really buy either of these guys trying to “keep up with the Joneses” - you ARE the Joneses, fellas - but that’s beside the point of the song. It’ll work in the right context, but it’s not like there’s not plenty of these types of songs and the inclusion of Blake Shelton here detracts from it quite a bit too.

#28 - “Girl, so confusing” - Charli xcx

Produced by A.G. Cook

Yeah, I prefer the solo version. Whilst it’s clear that Charli is talking about someone, probably Lorde, on “Girl, so confusing”, which is now confirmed, the more self-contained story of Charli misunderstanding cues and overthinking certain interactions she has with women in general, as well as the more specific showbiz talk, is much more compelling to me than knowing that it’s just about one woman in particular. That doesn’t mean the Lorde version can’t be that as well, but when I first listened to BRAT, “Girl, so confusing” really resonated with me, in part because of the anthemic nature of the chorus, with the scattered vocal stuttering very much in A.G. Cook’s wheelhouse, but also because, I mean, yeah. It is confusing sometimes to be a girl, and that general thesis, as well as applying the lyrics in the verses to everyday interactions, is something I can get behind and see a lot of value in, especially since it uses such a universally humanising statement to bring the album’s themes back home. Unfortunately, here comes Lorde, coming off the strength of her worst album, and making a song already about her… not very easily about anything else.

I’ve said this before with acts like Doja Cat and Ye, but when it gets too absorbed in gossip, I tend to tune out, and I can’t find many universalities in Lorde’s new contributions, to the point where that main lyric starts to sound closer to “It’s confusing to be Lorde”, which I don’t doubt but I also don’t care about hearing unless I spin a Lorde album, which, well, I do. I love Melodrama. What I don’t love is the awkward implementation of Lorde into the Auto-Tuned club-pop cacophony. She gets to the point - are you sure this is still Lorde? - but it’s through a breathless delivery that name-drops specific elements about Charli that take the song even further away from universality for the sake of the “moment”. I didn’t even realise people cared about a Lorde and Charli feud, one I didn’t know existed until this album dropped, and I honestly doubt this lasts much longer thanks to what is arguably a novelty aspect. I still do like the song, and yes, I will count the original in the conclusion because the Official Charts Company doesn’t credit Lorde, but I wish I could connect to it much more, and the way a lot of people really are gravitating to this viral moment at least gives me some solace in knowing it did do that for other people. The funniest end result for me would be if the song is actually about Marina and the Diamonds and this was all grade-A trolling.

#25 - “feelslikeimfallinginlove” - Coldplay

Produced by Max Martin, Oscar Holter, Bill Rahko, Daniel Green and Michael Ilbert

So, Coldplay are releasing their second weirdly-stylised, Max Martin-penned space album of the 2020s. Sure. These guys can do anything they want at this point and whilst it frustrates me that they don’t take the risks they have with that freedom, or at least in more compelling ways because there definitely are some… choices on the last few albums, some genuinely experimental and out-there, I know I’m not going to find that in a lead single, and hey, the band’s given us some great music in the past, with singles and deep cuts so there’s a level of expected quality and polish to everything they put out. Unexpectedly, however, I love this song. Yeah, I was surprised too, not been a fan of much Coldplay for a while, but this reminds me of the muted Ghost Stories, where its swell came from a genuine push and struggle to express those emotions, rather than the careening easiness of stumbling into orchestras or guitar overdubs like they usually do. If there’s any song in particular I feel that it’s reminiscent of, it’s probably that record’s big single, “Magic”. The difference here is that this is far from a divorce record, it’s a childishly lovestruck anthem, but one that starts with a piercing, glittery distortion that peters away for Damon Albarn-sounding synths and flickering drum sequencing that is as monotone as Chris Martin’s pained attempts at “la-la”s. He’s so tedious in his delivery that he ends up having to harmonise with a pitch-shifted version of his own vocal take, and all of that is a compliment, this is a really interesting song in terms of where it lies emotionally: he’s in love, but seemingly some of that love is coming out of a pity, a hand being lent to a guy who considers himself born to destroy everything good that comes to him. This is his one attempt to pull on those hands in full sincerity, acknowledging that it’s probably a mistake for him to do so but putting his heart and hope where his hands are: in the trust of a new partner who lets the windows open in spite of all that. Fitting for a Glastonbury performance, there are some lush synth and stringwork in the sing-a-long chorus, and it’s definitely a sing-a-long chorus given the simple melody and platitude lyrics that still do reflect some of the song’s conceits - “You’re throwing me a lifeline” is a great lyric to add to ensure that’s still embedded within each crack of the song’s premise, and yes, he rhymes it with “lifetime” and this time, it makes sense. I don’t usually say, “Take notes from Coldplay,” but we might have to start revising their back catalogue. There’s a certain restraint to the song’s true capabilities too - it’s in full slow build-up Coldplay territory of course, but all we have to really reflect on that other than the expected instrumentation is a guitar line so far to the left channel that it’s borderline communist, and a sputtering of lovestruck gibberish from Mr. Martin that’s honestly kind of adorable. It reminds me of when he performed lyrics from the Crazy Frog live on television as part of an instrumental break, it’s a cute and endearing way to end the song. Surprisingly enough, I do thoroughly enjoy this new Coldplay single. Been a while since I’ve said that with as little hesitation.

Conclusion

It’s tough. Who wasted my time the most? But whom did I clearly at least have something there to tussle with and find some value in outside of novelty? As controversial as this probably is, I’m ultimately going to grant Worst of the Week to “us.” by Gracie Abrams featuring Taylor Swift, because at least Dominic Fike’s vapid garbage is as transparent as it is, and yes, “misses” gets a very close Dishonourable Mention. As for the best, it’s also pretty evident here that it’s a toss-up between a few great songs, but ultimately I’ll actually lend it to Coldplay for “feelslikeimfallinginlove” because it sounds great in what might be a more unique emotional balance than the others, though I’m still giving a tied Honourable Mention to the girls, those being Charli xcx for “Girl, so confusing” and Perrie for “Tears”. As for what’s on the horizon, we’ll see whatever tangible impact Glastonbury and Headie One have, as well as that mess of a Camila Cabello album, Jason Derulo’s team-up with two prominent English DJs and maybe more K-pop than you’d think. Time will tell, however, and for now, thank you for reading, rest in peace to Shifty Shellshock - sugar! baby! - and I’ll see you next week.

[leighsartworks216]

Horn Care

Wyll Ravengard x male!OC

I have had this fic in the works for a while. It's just a little self-indulgent story of my dnd bard, Romero, with Wyll, with some stuff about his family and whatnot

I would love to answer any questions y'all may have about Romero's family because I love them sm

Dedicated to both @tripleyeeet and @shenanigans-and-imagines for listening to me ramble about these idiots <333

Warnings: mentions of alcohol and food, possibly OOC

Word Count: 1,266

Main Masterlist

First Baldur's Gate 3 Masterlist - Second Baldur's Gate 3 Masterlist

AO3

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Romero diligently rubbed the oil over Wyll’s horns, skillfully getting within every groove and crevice. Wyll holds the bottle of high-grade horn oil (though he’s not sure where exactly the bard procured it from), squirting extra in the bard’s hand whenever he asks for more.

Wyll can’t believe for one second this is his first time doing this. And yet, the who for is the biggest question. He wonders if it was learned from caring for past lovers, or even friends who needed an extra hand. It shocks Wyll just how truly little he knows about the person leading them; the person he’s decided to court - properly, if he’s ever given the chance.

“I can feel you thinking,” Romero teases. He’s running his fingers along the undersides of the horns, feeling to ensure he got every spot. “Anything you want to share?”

“I can’t help noticing your distinct lack of horns. How do you know how to do this? Something you picked up on your travels?”

He chuckles. “No. I’ve been doing this since I was little.” Once he’s certain the horns have been fully taken care of, he rounds the stool Wyll sits on, borrowed from Astarion (with promises of two carafes of good wine. A hefty price for one little stool, but worth it, he thinks). He drops the bottle of oil, closed securely, into his pack and plops down on the floor of the tent, leaning back against his arms. “One of my parents, Amrus, is a tiefling. I was always fascinated with his horns. He’d pick me up on his shoulders and carry me around, and I’d hold on and steer him around.”

Wyll could almost picture it. A little boy with unruly hair motioning to be picked up, coming up with imaginative stories, pretending to be riding a dragon. He couldn’t imagine much changed in the years leading up to this moment.

“Well, he adopted some tieflings, too. Wild, little things. And we’re a big, busy family, so I offered to help out. As their horns came in, I took care of them, until they were old enough to learn how to themselves.” Romero smiled fondly, remembering his childhood with nostalgia. He could tell stories for hours of mischief he got up to, fighting with his siblings, whacking people with sticks when they disrespected any of his family. “You get quite good at it when you do it for years.”

“It’s an admirable skill to have, if only for how it was learned. Its uses are a bit… limited.”

“Unless I happen to be with someone in possession of horns,” the bard says, smirking up at the warlock. “Results of a deal with a devil or otherwise.”

–

“If you don’t mind my prying, how many parents do you have? You mention them a lot.”

The moon casts them in a cool glow. Light bounces off Wyll’s horns. The open amusement of the bard is perfectly accentuated, as though the shadows pull back just so he can be admired.

“Ah, plenty. Let’s see, are we counting all of them, or just the ones my father is married to?”

Wyll chuckles. “All of them, to start.”

Romero begins ticking off fingers, listing names as he went in a low murmur. He didn’t stop even after he ran out of fingers. “Twelve, technically.” Wyll gaped at him.

“Twelve parents?! How do you keep them all straight?”

“Well, not all of them live with us at one time. I only grew up around six of them; the other four live elsewhere, traveling or providing shelter to any of us kids who happen to wander in their areas. The last two have passed - and the mindflayer only counts as a parent because of my father’s insistence.”

“A mindflayer?!” He pushed himself up so he could gape down at his partner. “Your father was with one of those rubber-skinned Ilithids?!”

“Eh, it’s one of his stranger exploits.” Romero smirked, as though he’d gone through this exact bewilderment before. Though, Wyll supposes he must’ve done. “You haven’t even asked how many siblings I have.”

“I can’t begin to fathom.” He sighed, mentally preparing himself. “How many?”

Romero looks far too eager to share the number. “Eighteen.”

“How do you all fit in that house?!”

“My father and some of my parents help him build new additions. You should see it - it’s about as chaotic as the people who live in it.”

He gestured grandly, hands telling the story as much as his words. Wyll could picture him standing on a table in a tavern, spinning wild tales to enraptured guests all night long. It was like a fire lit in his eye. A spring added itself into his every motion.

“It reaches as high as any palace, built of hand-hewn planks and sun-dried bricks. The thundering of stairs as we all come racing down for Pimbul’s cooking - she’s the best damn cook, and he always makes plenty of extra. Laughter and music pouring out of every window, every balcony, every door - the sound of our love uncontainable.” He sighed wistfully, hands falling back at his side. “As soon as this is over, I’m headed straight back. I’ve been gone for too long.”

Wyll smiled. Romero poured affection for his family any time they came up, which was surprisingly often. An eight-pointed star on his chest denoted himself as a child of the famous Gerhart Tulb, adventurer and well-known flirt. Any time they weren’t in armor, his shirt was opened to proudly display the tattoo. Which meant everywhere they weren’t fighting, there was someone who recognized it. He always used it as an opportunity to relay the tales his father had told of his own adventures, and one’s he’d picked up from his siblings along the road. It was admirable.

“How long have you been away?” he asks as he lays back down. Though, his eyes don’t stray from him, even as the stars glimmer and flicker, begging for his attention.

Romero sighs and turns onto his side. “Almost a year. I know that’s not a very long time,” he offers Wyll a sympathetic smile, “I just miss everyone so much.”

“You’ll have a lot to share when you see them again.” Wyll rolls over as well, though his horns make it difficult to actually be comfortable. They were nice and shiny from his partner’s careful hands, but they were still a damned nuisance. “Grandiose tales of tadpoles and curses, of love and loss. The perfect story.”

“A story’s only as good as the person telling it.” He frowned, reaching out to hesitantly take Wyll’s hand. Calluses roughened his fingertips from his lute. Even more covered his palm from battles hard fought. “I don’t know how this story will end,” he begins slowly, almost a whisper, “but if–” He squeezes Wyll’s hand. “-- when we win, I wanted to bring you back with me. All of you, if I can. I know it’s a lot to ask, to drag all of you back on the road, but-”

Wyll squeezed his hand with a bright smile. “We’d all be glad to meet them. I can only imagine how a reunion with a family of bards must be.”

Romero grinned, sitting up and eagerly launching into another story. Wild descriptions of dancing and singing and drinking that lasted for an entire week. About a dance that all the kids did for the parents involving swords and drums. Fireworks, illusions, and so, so much more. Wyll could almost picture it all. And even crazier: he could almost picture himself there at Romero’s side.