#boys I write for
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i did wrestling in middle school. on one hand, i was actually quite good at it, which was nice. being good at any sport was a new achievement for me. on the other hand, i was bi, and i was trying very hard not to notice that i was bi, and getting folded into knots by very kind, very muscular dorks made that task somewhat difficult.
adding fire to the problem was that my parents and my grandparents wanted to watch my matches, because they were very proud that their Gangly Nerd Son was actually Sporting, and they wanted to cheer me on. which would've been sweet and all, but if there are four people you do not want there during a key part of your Burgeoning Sexual Awakening, it is your mom and your dad and your grandma and your grandpa.
right? i mean, imagine some guy's got your head in his armpit, and you're going you know, old sweat smells bad, but fresh sweat has a sort of and then you make eye contact with your grandpa in the stands and you remember you're swearing spandex so if you pop a boner people aren't just going to be able to see the outline, they're going to be able to count the veins, and the only way you will be able to restore your family's honor after that would be by moving to siberia and renouncing joy, forever. that, or lift your entire body up by your kneck then twist 180 degrees without paralyzing yourself.
it’s a lot of pressure, is what i’m saying.
still it did motivate me to win my matches really fast. because i was so tall and skinny, i was stupidly good at the double leg takedown, and then once someone was knocked down, i'd just do the half nelson and kind of flip em over for the pin. then the ref would count to three and i’d win. EZPZ.
i had one match where that went great. won in the first ten seconds, sat back down, and prepared myself for a good hour or two of doing fuck all. didn't even feel bad the parents/grandparents were gonna be bored. the matches went up from me in 5 pound increments (i was in the 115 lbs division) and it was going great until we got to the 145 lbs division. the other school's wrestler stepped onto the mat, and she turned out to be a girl so our guy flipped, because for straight guys, wrestling a girl is not a pleasant experience.
i'm not entirely unsympathetic. my experience wrestling dudes was definitely a little traumatic. but also, i dealt. guy could've dealt too. instead, he refused to wrestle, and the coach went - fine. not even worth fighting over.
so he went to the 140 pounder, and that guy said, nosir, my mom said mormons can't wrestle girls. next guy down, 135 pounder, now he knew he could pull the same card and thus did. 130 pounder, 125, both tapped out. he got to the 120 guy, and that guy was catholic, but he said he was considering being mormon, and thus would have to pass. as a precaution.
coach blew up a little at that. he said "is there anyone - anyone - on this entire goddamn team that is willing to wrestle a girl?" and then he pointed at me and said "YOU. MAT. GO."
and i'll be real, if i'd been paying more attention, i'd have pulled the mormon card too, but i'd just been putting all that audio into a buffer file because i was reading, so i was halfway across the mat before i even processed what had been said and by then it was too late to turn back.
still i had a plan. and my plan - my beautiful, perfect plan - was to do what i'd always done. tackle, flip, pin, win. sit down. read. bore my family to death. move on.
i got the first part right. she was bigger than me, but she wasn't taller. just an incredibly stout woman. god built me like a snake with glasses, just as he built her like a combat cube. the problem was the half nelson. soon as she was down, i tried hooking my arm under hers from behind and for both genders, the defense for this move is just clamping your arms really fucking tight against your sides. if you're a guy, that's whatever, but if you're a girl - especially if you're god's chosen combat cube - that pins your opponents hand right against your boob.
so, i got the hook in, she clamped, my whole arm pressed against something soft, my coach was yelling THE HALF NELSON. BABYLON! JUST FINISH IT! FINISH THE HALF NELSON! and i was just trying to press hard enough to finish, when then my brain went
...oh.
and i flipped out. of course i flipped out. i like girls, and touching a boob is an elemental experience, and i was not ready. i was not prepared. i had not committed the sacred rites. i recoiled like i'd just brushed my arm against the surface of the sun, stood up, and backed away. nobody in the room knew why i'd given up. all they saw was me, right about to win, suddenly flailing around and scrambling. so everyone started screaming at me to just get the half nelson again, and i couldn't really yell back there's a fuckin' boob in the way and it was very distressing, and the only way i could think of to make them stop was just doing it over again the right way.
so i did.
i hunkered down and prepared myself for Wrasslin' Attempt #2: The Sequel.
i knocked her down again, EZPZ. i went for the half nelson again, but she knew what i was about to do so she super clamped, and i knew she was gonna super clamp, so i wound my arm back like a pop-eye cartoon punch before swinging my arm through the gap between her bicep and her side, but the amount of time i spent winding back super signalled what i was about to to do, which gave her time to clamp even harder, which somehow redirected the entire force of the popeye punch to the bottom of her bra.
it spat out a single boob the same way an action hero might spit out one single tooth after getting a solid crack across the jaw. as if to say:
*ptooie.* "that all you got?"
i did not actually see this. my experience was that first there was an arm, then there was a bit of boob, but i was braced, i was ready, forward at all costs, tatakae motherfuckers, and then the boob went away, and i didn't know where it went but my team, and the audience, and everyone who was in front of me, they all gasped like i just kicked them in the stomach. except for my coach. he was behind me, and thus one of the four people in the room who did not see the boob. now my mom, my dad, my grandma, and my grandpa, they all got flashed but nooooooo, coach thunderbutt was behind me, and he didn't see shit so he was still yelling NOOOOOO BABYLON WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUST FINISH THE NELSON! GO FOR THE KILL! BABYLON! BABYLON!
but i did not go for the kill. i stood up and she stuffed her boob back real fast, and we just kind of circled each other awkwardly until time ran out and i won on points. that's not technically allowed, but the ref had some mercy on me.
my coach did not.
i barely had time to sit down before he strode over to the bench to chew me out.
"babylon," he said, in that very calm way people get when they're too pissed to yell. "why didn't you pin?"
and i didn't know how to say well coach, i tried, but there was a boob, and it kept getting in the way, and my mom was watching, and so was my dad, and so was his dad, and his mom, and god (like bible god) and that's a can of worms because i'm pretty sure he was already mad at me, and i'm wearing spandex, and i think i might have to move to siberia, so instead i said
"i uh. i forgot how to do the half nelson."
which is actually impossible. forgetting how to do the half nelson is like forgetting how to swallow your spit.
and he looked at me, like i was the dumbest person in the entire world, and i looked through him like i'd just survived my 250th day in a trench at verdun, and he said: fine.
fine.
but we're all going to practice it for an hour tomorrow because you forgot.
and then he left.
and my buddies had the gall to be salty about it. i got so many comments saying "dude, why didn't you just tell him the truth?" and i said "you can if you care so damn much. you could've wrestled the girl too. maybe someone else should do the hard thing today."
but they didn't. so the next day, we did an hour of half nelson drills, and i spent a decent amount of time getting thrown around the mat, and it was pleasant in exactly the way that i hated and the year after that, to the surprise of everyone but myself, i quit wrestling and joined the trivia team.
and if you want more reasons to love my mom, my grandpa joked after the match that i might have to talk to my bishop about it, and my mom told him he would be allowed to make jokes after he stood in front of a crowd of 110 people in spandex underpants while wrestling a woman that was not his wife.
he paused for almost five seconds after that. then he said: aw. hell. sorry babylon.
and i'd have preferred my apology from god, but getting it from him was pretty good too.
#whew boy this make me anxious just typing it#wrestling#middle school#the dread#i feel like i have to write some stories about my grandpa not being a dick#because he was actually an amazing grandpa#he just had a few goofs are very comedic moments#and you know if you're gonna have a goof making it comedic is a virtue in itself#he was there for me more than a lot of my classmates dads were#and i dont want that undervalued#yeah#babylon-lore
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your personal space has never really truly been yours since you’ve started dating him. his muscled arm around your waist when you wake up in the morning, has become as familiar as the sunrise itself. it used to be cute, his warmth a cozy start to the day. but now, it's suffocating, like he can't bear to let you go, even in his sleep.
you shift carefully under his weight, not wanting to disturb his sleep. his breath keeping its steady rhythm against your neck, and you wonder if he dreams of you as you lean in to kiss his forehead gently. he smiles in his sleep, a small, contented expression that almost makes you want to slip right back into his arms.
the sheets rustle softly as you slip out from his grip. you slowly tiptoe across your shared bedroom, craving the simple pleasure of being able to enjoy making coffee alone. the smell of freshly ground beans fills the kitchen, and you lean against the counter, enjoying the quiet morning.
but as your coffee brews, a twinge of guilt creeps in and you can almost imagine when he'll wake up and wonder where you've gone. despite enjoying the well needed alone time, you knew the longing to be close to him will pull you back into his embrace sooner than you'd planned. almost as if in complete sync with your thoughts, you hear a mumble approaching the kitchen, and then his voice, thick with sleep, calling out softly,
"angel cmon back to bed with me, you know i don’t like sleeping without you"
ੈ✩‧₊˚ gojo, nanami, bakugou, iwaizumi hajime (27) althetic trainer, oikawa, kuroo, geto, choso, yuji, midoriya
#i kinda love the domesticity in this 🫨🫨#i love clingy sleepy boys SEDATE MEE#def not my best work but i still wanted to write a lil smth#jjk x reader#gojo x reader#jjk fluff#gojo fluff#gojo satoru x reader#geto x reader#geto suguru x reader#bnha x reader#mha x reader#bakugou x reader#bakugo x reader#haikyuu x reader#iwaizumi x reader#kuroo x reader#haikyuu fluff#bnha fluff#mha fluff#choso x reader#yuji x reader#midoriya x reader#nanami x reader
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Please for the love of god let Edwin say twink
#I really do recommend going to follow Zack Ogle (dbds writing assistant) on twitter#dead boy detectives#edwin payne#charles rowland
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When Senshi was young in the dungeon the majority of the adults he were with ostracized him. All except Gillin, who died to make sure Senshi had something to eat: unseasoned boiled meat that may or may not have been one of their comrades.
It really puts into perspective why he was so nurturing towards Chilchuck. When Chil reveals he’s 28 to the party, Senshi responds by telling him that he thought he was older. Senshi was in his 30s when he and his comrades got trapped in the dungeon, so it’s safe to assume that he thought Chil was at a similar age.
He met a young boy who was, from his perspective, forced to do dangerous work in the dungeon just like he was, and so, Senshi made an effort to look after Chilchuck in the same way Gillin looked after him.
Mind you, when Senshi was young in the dungeon he had to starve for weeks, eat the horse he loved, and finish it off spending the next i don’t know how many years wondering if he committed cannibalism.
Senshi understands first hand the value of nutrition and proper eating, so when he’s with the party he makes an effort to make sure they’re all eating a full and balanced diet. Not only that, but Senshi INVOLVES them in the process of getting food to eat, always preparing it in front of them and narrating every ingredient in the process so that there’s no doubt about what they’re eating.
#i woke up in the middle of the night to write this and haven’t proof read so i seriously hope it’s coherent lmaoooo#dungeon meshi spoilers#delicious in dungeon spoilers#senshi#dungeon meshi#everyone jokes about senshi giving chilchuck the talk but he’s literally just trying to take care of a young boy who needs help#i’m crying#and sobbing#and punching the air
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if i had a nickel for every au spawned from twitter that i SWORE i was going to be normal about
#i'd have like. five. which isn't a lot but IT KEEPS HAPPENING#stranger things#platonic stobin#steddie#steve harrington#robin buckley#eddie munson#here we go again boys#i've had this floating in my head for a Minute and i was like#nah i'm not gonna do it#maybe i'll anonymously write a fic#but no we're mombin posting on main#i think on twt we agreed it's a 'what's the worst that could happen' situation#platonic co parents can be so so so personal#also i have One more stobin wip and then bg3 again i swear#when i have a baby i Will be putting my giant black wings on beforehand#they have to know what kind of family they're coming into#cw pregnancy
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I didn't believe it at first but after watching the show, Dead Boy Detectives was so obviously crafted to be catnip for the Tumblr girlies(gn), cause like. Homoerotic ghost detectives. Sassy psychics. Weird girls. Witches. A literal cat king. Sad twink that's actually a crow. Hot goth lesbian butchers. Slowburn ft. immortal beings. Gay confessions in hell. This show was crafted in a lab for us, and I LOVE IT. Go watch it if you haven't already.
#dead boy detectives#edwin payne#charles rowland#crystal palace#niko sasaki#jenny the butcher#the cat king#monty#esther finch#i could write an essay on edwin he's just so PERFECT
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LINKTOBER Day 16: Lanayru Wetlands
Rumors have it Zora’s Domain is besieged by caustic rains. As travelers leave Lanayru’s capital in troves, two plucky (or foolish) adventurers swim against the muddy tide in hopes to learn more about the unnatural phenomenon.
Anyways, it’s raining mud? What’s up with that.
(FAMILIAR FAMILIAR AU is a totk what if passion project where zelda does not get sent back in time. Here’s the masterpost!)
And my patreon, if you’d like to slide me some bucks to buy lunch;
#critdraws#lonks diary#familiar familiar au#art#botw#artists of tumblr#loz#zelda#link#lanayru#breath of the wild au#breath of the wild#tears of the kingdom au#tears of the kingdom#totk#totk link#totk zelda#botw link#botw zelda#environment art#tloz#the legend of zelda#legend of zelda#oh boy its time for the water sage arc#(rubs rat hands together) pls be nice im literally writing this as i go#linda#the qpr of zelink#anyways ever heard of murphy’s law link#there’s so much mud#somebody get a pressure hose out
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best friend!satoru watches you laugh with hearts in his eyes. completely and utterly smitten. doubled over and clutching onto your stomach, you curse at him – you beg him to stop, to just close his mouth for one second, so you could catch your breath.
but no, he's relentless.
you swear the jokes aren't even funny but the ache in your cheeks and the tears in your eyes say otherwise. you hide your face in your palms and satoru itches to move your hands because fuck, he wants to see you. but the laughter will have to do for now.
he whispers another stupid comment right into your ear with a bashful smile glued to his lips. his cheeks hurt, too. dusted pink, his skin burns from your attention and affection – he's a weak, weak man and he isn't afraid to admit it. you have him wrapped around your pretty little finger and he fucking loves it.
his eyes grow wide when you suddenly reach for him and press your palm against his mouth. raising your gaze from your lap, you find his pretty blues and his heart almost bursts. explodes. implodes. there isn't a proper word for the feeling.
you stare at him and though he can't properly see your lips from this angle, he knows you're still smiling.
"please, stop... "
your voice has grown raspier, your throat sore from the torture he's put you through. satoru hears the smile in your tone.
slowly, he moves his head from side to side and against your palm, you feel his.
smile lines and happy tears, it's a special kind of love.
#MY BABYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY#i love laughing with him#i love his stupid jokes#that are NOT funny btw#they're not#mkmmmmmmm#(i say while laughing)#angel boy#wtf mickey can write#gojo x reader#gojo fluff
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fine dining at the blushing mermaid. with the boogieboys
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#wyll#karlach#astarion#durge#oc: noon#danse macabre the best summon for having fun<333#might not have done exactly This ingame but i just wanted to combine 2 vibes bc they were regulars at the mermaid#and i had to do one illustration ft. the ghouls lol#they usually took the boys to daycare to philgrave's mansion (after beating up the lich obv.. repeatedly)#little everyday rituals <3#(also i'm writing in past tense bc i finished the game a while ago :-(:'-):-( </3<3)#(i still have at least a couple of pics of this lil series i wanna do)#(psa I MISS THEM)
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Something something 16yo 2k12 Mikey gets sucked into a portal and sent into the RISE universe and ends up helping raise the RISE kiddos AU
#my art#rottmnt#tmnt#rise of the tmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rottmnt mikey#rottmnt donnie#rottmnt raph#tmnt mikey#tmnt 2012#rottmnt splinter#it keeps us dancing au#do i wanna talk about this au#i LOVE the idea that the reason why the rise boys are so funny and jovial and kind#is because 2k12 mikey had a hand in raising them#he kicks splinters butt into being a better parent#and also gives the boys a parental/big brother figure to look up to#and care for them#2k12 mikey would ADORE these babies so much#*holds your hands* listen to me very carefully#he would LOVE on these kiddos so much#and they would ADORE 2k12 mikey back#ohhh the fics i want to write#as soon as i have time its over for you all i am OBSESSED with this idea#they would call him TEE in this too#because i dont think 2k12 mikey would wanna be called mikey#since theres ALREADY a mikey here#and something something shouldnt mess with the different dimensions yada yada#IKUD AU
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Fanfiction in the late 2000s-early 2010s was wild bc you'd find a beautifully written story with the most compelling heart-wrenching plot you've ever seen and the author's note would be like:
Author with a username like ~SasukesWaifuxD~ : Ohayo gozaimasu! ↖(^▽^)↗, I'm sowwy it took me so long to update (๑•́_•̀๑)
tsundere twink from their fic : It was about damn time you idiot (눈‸눈)
~SasukesWaifuxD~ : Hey now! It's not my fault the plot bunnies kept wunning away fwom me (╥﹏╥)
tsundere twink: W-watever, it's not like I missed you or anything (💢,,>﹏<,,) b-baka!
#the good old days#anyone remember quizilla?#can you tell i used to be into hetalia?#i only started writing my own fics in 2020 so I never got to do this 😔#maybe I'll try it on my next update#my followers will think I'm having a stroke but it'd be worth it#fandom#fanfiction#shitpost#crispy#bridgerton#hannibal#naruto#one piece#hades#house of the dragon#dead boy detectives#911#good omens#harry potter#hazbin hotel#helluva boss#dan and phil#dungeon meshi#dc#mlp#the magnus archives#teenage mutant ninja turtles#baldur's gate 3#stardew valley
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asian glossy starlings are severely under utilised Scary Birds. I see crows and ravens and vultures where is the love for these freaks
oohhh you want to put them in your art so bad oooohh
ID: three photos of iridescent black-green birds with bright red eyes and small black pupils, with long crow-like beaks. END ID
EXTENDED ID: three photos of glossy iridescent dark green birds, feathers almost black asides from where the light makes them viridian green. They have bright red eyes with jarring black pupils set into their head like precious stones and seem to be staring directly at the viewer, and their beaks are similar to crow beaks. The first photo shows a group of six starlings clustered on a wooden pole, presumably on a wharf. The second photo is two of the birds perched on branches, and the third photo is a close up of a starling's face from profile view. END ID
#listen to my gibberish boy#I see these guys EVERYWHERE and they're so cool#extremely irridescent#to the point where they look like actual metal#their eyes are SO red#art inspo#birds#writing inspo
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"call me good," his breath shaky as he held your cheeks in his hands. "say you love me, that there's no one else as important as me in your life."
he kissed you out of nowhere really, like he was some desperate dog. "do you hate me?" he'd ask. it was as if he was a little kid, who needed constant reassurance.
"y-you feel so- good-" he'd always moan in your ear while you two made out. you thought he was a bit of a loser, but he wanted to prove you wrong by being on top.
"s-shit- i think i'm gonna c-cum first- don't be upset-"
you thought it was a bit annoying. how after he was at his high, he'd collapse on top of you, kissing and sucking your neck.
"n-never let me go... okay? i-.. i'll be really upset if you do."
god. he was such a loser.
loser desperate yandere x popular reader
#yandere#yandere x reader#tw yandere#yandere x darling#yandere oc#yandere x you#yandere male#male yandere#yandere x y/n#angst#desperate yandere#yanblr#yancore#popular reader#yandere boy#yandere writing#i am cumtastic
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kids these days who are fans of fall out boy and can just read the lyrics on spotify or whatever. do you know how lucky you are. when i was a lad you listened to an illegally burnt cd, heard a nonsensical string of syllables, and listened to it 100 times until you thought you know what was said. and then you got ahold of an album sleeve with lyrics and read the lyrics. and realise you were absolutely nowhere close.
#fall out boy#'the friction in your jeans' when i read those were the lyrics i wanted to throw things#thats not what he said but for me mishearing lyrics#that's not what i heard !!!!#fob write gorgeous lyrics. not that i know wtf theyre saying
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How funny that she never considered that.
#one piece#boa hancock#monkey d luffy#i really disagree with how oda writes her#i think she likes him in the way a little girl crushes on the first boy to ge nice to her#simply because she thinks that's how it must work#she did not have the time nor was she safe enough as a child to feel those things#this was the first ever man other than rayleigh to not view her as an object#so she thinks she *must* love him#these have been my long-winded hancock thoughts#thank you
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“What do you want to be when you grow up?”
Damian is 3, looking at Ra’s steel gaze. There’s a tragedy to his grandfather that’s his alone. He wonders if it’ll ever soften.
“Powerful.”
-
“Damian,” Baba’s voice is very different than Batman’s. It’s so soft it could crack the world in two. “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
Damian thinks about Bruce holding someone’s hand with his broken fingers after a patrol.
He thinks about Bruce forgiving his mother. For everything, and anything.
He thinks about the meals left on Todd’s doorstep. He thinks about his siblings. He thinks about his father loving a world that doesn’t love him back.
He thinks about Bruce.
“Kind.”
#Damian loves his dad pass it on#bruce wayne#dc#dc comics#damian wayne#batman#text#batdad#source: the boy and the mole and the fox and horse#I LOVE THIS IM GONNA CRY#batfamily#writing
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