#boyfriend!dddie

[mouthfullofmunson]

More pest Eddie thoughts bc honestly, he’s my dream man!

He leaves little sticky notes all around the house for you 🫶

And yes, a lot of them are sweet like when he leave notes on the mirror “good morning beautiful. Let’s make today amazing. Love, Eddie” with a little shitty heart drawn in the corner

A sticky note on the coffee pot “I’ll be thinking of you all day <3”

Or just random sticky notes around the house to remind you of how much he loves you

But then… there’s the other kind of notes

A sticky note in your panties drawer that reads “wear your sexiest ones and be ready for me”

A sticky note in the shower “nice boobs”

A bite written in the steam on the mirror that just says “put them on my face”

He would randomly sneak up on you when he gets home

Toeing off his shoes and stepping around the creeks in the floors to be a silent as he can before he wraps his arms around you yelling “give me all your money!”

And of course it scares the shit out of you, but luckily he does this kind of shit a lot so you aren’t running around trying to call 911

One time he snuck up on you in the shower and he almost got a broken nose, but luckily it just bled for a couple minutes and it was over

He did not learn his lesson from that and continues to to it…

He complains about your hair all the time

About how it clogs the drain and how he finds it everywhere

But he has no idea the damage his hair does

His is the real reason the drain is always clogged, and he leaves it on the shower wall, and you find wads of it in the laundry, the pockets of your pants, you’d think he’s a cat with how many hairballs of his are laying around

When you guys are walking next to each other he always bumps your shoulder with his and then smiles and looks away with a pink blush on his cheeks no matter how long you’ve been together🫶

When he’s doing literally ANYTHING no matter how experienced either of you are in it he will always fuck it up just a little bit so you’ll come help it

He’s making dinner, which is just a lazy dinner after one of his shows and he’s very experienced in making grilled cheese and frozen French fries

But he purposely burns one side “fuck, babe, can you come help me?” And then the second you get over to the stove he wraps his arms around you with a big smile, shoving his face in your neck

As annoying as he is his goal is always just to see you smile or be closer to you 🥹

Anytime he does laundry after letting it pile up and pile up he finds clothes he forgot he had and he instantly pulls the “are these your boyfriend?”

And of course you get super annoyed and grumble

“What? Is he hotter than me? Is he better in bed?”

If he has a scratch on his back that he can’t reach and you aren’t around to itch he will just go to the nearest corner of the wall and itch his back

He’s had to try to explain him a number of times when you walk in on him rubbing against the wall groaning and going “oh that’s the spot. Finally!”

When he goes to kiss you he will give you a big romantic smile before leaning in and closing his eyes just to put his mouth around your nose. Then he pulls away “babe, your lips feel different… maybe you need chapstick.”

Or he will do something super weird and just suck your bottom lip for a second then pull away again

Or bite your tongue

He’s a weirdo but he’s my dream man!

Since you’re still in the honeymoon phase he sneaks out of bed to brush his teeth before slipping back in and acting like he woke up like that

But it’s never that easy

Because he can’t just brush his teeth quietly

Nooo

He gags as loud as ever, breathing hard as hell like he is struggling to stay alive while he brushes his tongue

Just loud ass gags coming from the bathroom then he walks back

“Oh, hey. Did you just wake up?” He smirks, sliding back into bed while he pushes your hair away from your eyes and tries to put on his bedroom eyes

But after you just heard what you could’ve almost mistaken as your dad brushing his teeth at 6am on vacation you are not in the mood

“Did you get any on your tooth brush or…?”

He’s a drink stealer

He’s a food stealer!

He will eat and drink basically anything

Constantly stealing your drinks, stealing the food right out of your hand

It’s like five day old leftovers that you see him eating over the sink like he’s a starving rat that hasn’t gotten food in months

Socks stay ON during sex! He gets cold!

He gives off the vibe as like that one episode of family guy or something when they saw the period blood in the trash can and started crying because he thought you were dying 😭😭😭

He seems like SUCH a photobomber tbh… like you cannot get one nice photo without his sticking himself in and sticking his tongue out with his eyes all lit up like the weirdo he is

OKAYYYY

I’ve been working on this for MONTHS just adding little thoughts here and there… there will be more to come!!!!

Let me know YOUR pest Eddie thoughts, or your thoughts on MY pest Eddie thoughts!!

:)