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vamp1reheart · 1 month ago

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Wonderland 01

Hoseok x f!reader

Notices: Explicit sex! Mentions of abuse! Murder! Mental problems! Schizophrenia! Obsessive themes! I tried to have a big focus on psychological horror! Distorted reality! Use of drugs, strong medicines and other doping agents!

Synopsis: You always thought that Wonderland was just a childish delusion, the consequences of a terrible accident. But things change, and maybe Wonderland is more real than you'd like to admit. Especially when an old friend goes out of his way to convince you to stay in the wizarding world.

There is no better feeling in the world than the feeling of being at peace. Of finally letting go of the problems of reality, and just feeling relief and calm.

Opening your eyes, you find yourself in a vast field of flowers. The tall flowers touch your knees and legs like a gentle caress. When you looked ahead, the field seemed endless, but right next to it was a giant wall surrounded by red roses. Above your head, in the gray sky, was a giant clock, the clouds did little to mask it.

The clock, despite being large, its hands made a muffled "tik-tak" noise. But if you concentrated you could hear a muffled voice imitating the sound of the clock hands.

"tick-tock"

The voice said.

The voice was definitely male. You look around the large field, searching for the owner of the voice. But you find no one, you are the only person there.

But the voice is louder. What was once just an imitation of the sound of the clock hands now becomes a kind of plea.

"Tick-tock honey...Tick-tock...time is running out! You need to decide!"

The voice now seemed to be right next to your ear. But even as you turned to find the owner of the voice, you saw nothing. The voice became more constant and louder as you turned.

When suddenly the Clock above your head strikes a full hour. The deep, loud sound of its chimes completely silences the place, making you completely forget about the voice.

But when you look down, you meet the gaze of a man. He was right in front of you, very close to you, but you never heard him coming. As the man comes closer to you, with slow, light steps, you feel your heart beat as if it were going to come out of your chest.

The man slowly reaches out his hand towards your face, and although he doesn't seem to want to hurt you, you close your eyes tightly. And then the last chime of the clock is heard, and absolute silence sets in, where all you can hear is your racing heart. And the feeling of the man's hand on her face never happened.

When you open your eyes again, you are in a room, now looking at a dark wooden ceiling. Moving your fingers, you can see that you are lying on something soft. As you move your head, your eyes land on the figure of someone. That's right, you were in the middle of therapy.

The man has his back to you, fiddling quickly with a black box. But at the slightest noise you make, he turns around, now realizing you were awake.

"Ha, Miss Y/N, I'm glad you're awake. I'm sorry, it seems like I gave you too strong a dose of the tranquilizer."

You don't say anything, just sit down slowly. Looking around the room, you close your eyes, feeling the information return to your brain.

Fortunately, your psychologist Seokjin doesn't say anything, he just waits for you to get your bearings with a sweet smile on his lips.

Seokjin is one of the best psychologists in the region. Everyone says that besides being very handsome, he is also very sweet. But even though he hasn't done anything to make you think otherwise, you still feel like there's something wrong with him.

"I think we're going to end our therapy session for today, Miss Y/N. You need a break."

Nodding to him, you get up from the large red couch in your office, walking slowly to the door as your brain begins to remember its basic functions. Oh my, did you sleep that much?

Seokjin walks you to the classroom door. He says you're doing really well, and you're doing much better than you were before.

But you doubt it. Since you started therapy, you have noticed little difference. You wouldn't say it was Seokjin's fault, no, it was your fault. Fortunately, the medicine you're taking is slowly making you forget about Wonderland.

Wonderland, you liked to call it. It's silly, but at the time you created it, you were going through a vulnerable time.

The comforting place. But even though you liked it there, you knew it wasn't healthy.

Without even realizing it, you are already outside the apartment where Seokjin's office is.

With all these therapies and strong medications, you started to realize how gray the world was becoming. You don't know if it's a consequence of the medications, or if the world has always been like this.

The streets were dark, the houses were mostly gray, and the houses that had colors were dull, the sky was almost always cloudy. But as time went by, you learned to live with cloudy days, starting to like them more than sunny days.

Despite constantly complaining that the houses in his town were gray and dull, his own is not much different.

Now standing in front of your apartment door, you unlock the various locks on your door. Complaining to herself why her subconscious felt the need to put more than one or two.

Entering your apartment and taking off your shoes, you emotionlessly observed the darkness of your apartment.

Deciding then to take a cold shower to remove the rest of Seokjin's drugs from your body, you find yourself naked under the freezing water, allowing her to lift a weight off your shoulders that you didn't even know you were carrying.

Closing your eyes, you revel in the sight of the water running down your body, but when you open your eyes again, you are no longer in your home. But the feeling of water on your body remains.

It doesn't take much to realize that you are standing on a rock in a large lake, the sensation of the liquid running down your body was like a large waterfall. Even though night had taken over, and the tall trees were dark enough to barely be seen, the lake still shone with the light of the full moon, the blue glow of the water was abnormal, but very beautiful.

Slowly, you climb down from the rock and enter the dark lake. For some reason you were not afraid, it was as if all your thoughts and worries had disappeared.

Now the dark water was just above his chest. Even with the blue glow that the water made with your movements, it was not possible to see the bottom of it, your body disappeared into the water as if you were missing. But as said before, you were not afraid.

Not even when a figure resurfaced from the water at the edge of the lake. Due to the darkness you couldn't see who it could be, but you didn't worry about it. The only thing you could think about was whether any traces of the drug remained in your body.

You don't know why, but you stand still as the figure slowly moves towards you. The water was up to your waist and the water left a trail of blue glow as he approached.

Now, with the figure in front of you, you can see it better.

He was an extremely familiar man. It was undeniable that he was very handsome. His physique was thin with some prominent muscles, his jaw was defined, and his handsome face looked at you seriously.

You don't know if you should say anything. Maybe ask who it is? But it's clear that this is a dream. Isn't it?

The man comes closer to you and grabs your waist underwater, pressing your bodies together with a loud noise.

He brings his face closer to yours, now you could see the blue glow in his black eyes.

"Stay!"

He whispers close to your face, and with a satisfied sigh he brings your lips together in a needy kiss.

You don't know whether to kiss this stranger back, but the feeling of his lips is too good to deny. But it doesn't matter, you don't care now, not anymore.

The stranger interrupts the kiss to lower his face to her neck. Starting with small licks, he begins to suck and bite the thin skin of your neck as you tilt your head further to the side, giving him more access.

Your mind turns to jelly as something presses against your clit. You shiver at the sensation and the stranger lets out a muffled chuckle down your neck.

"Don't worry darling, I'll have plenty of time to make you mine."

He says close to your ear, and with one last pressure applied to your sex, you close your eyes, feeling the man slowly move away from you, feeling helpless for not being able to pull it back like your body so desires.

When you open your eyes, you're back in your bathroom. Under a simple shower. No magical water, no handsome man, no moonlight.

Just you and your fingers.

You feel stupid for giving in to a likely hallucination caused by your disorders. You swore that the medicine Seokjin gave you would help, that it would make you forget about Wonderland.

But it seems the temptation of that place is stronger than you thought.

Dreams about Wonderland became frequent. You knew you couldn't deny the sensations you felt in your dreams. It was all very real, and the proof of that was the mark on his neck. Dreams don't leave physical marks.

Standing in front of the mirror in your bedroom, you press an ice cube to the purple mark on your neck, a hickey. After the incident with the water and her intimate moment with that stranger, the hallucinations began to have physical consequences.

You had been in therapy with Seokjin for a while now.

But even with constant therapy sessions, you still lived around Wonderland.

Every night you dreamed of that place. Every day you found yourself inside Wonderland at inappropriate and random moments.

Like the time you had an important test, and you were so nervous that you found yourself in Wonderland again. And your old friend, the one you considered your best friend, was hugging you gently as he told you that everything was okay.

At the time you didn't see a problem, it helped you calm your anxiety, but what seemed like minutes to you was actually hours, and you weren't able to finish the test.

These moments only lessened when Seokjin gave you some pills, saying that it would help you keep your head on reality.

And it actually worked for a while. But he never liked the idea of you leaving him, of you slowly forgetting about him. Until he took action.

Ever since you started moving to Wonderland, you've made a habit of writing down what happened there, knowing that you could forget at any moment.

But with the use of medication, you no longer saw the need to write, thinking that you would soon leave this crazy world behind.

But after a day of therapy, when you arrived home, you didn't expect to find these writings on your desk. You swore you had saved them so you would never find them again.

But when you touch them, you realize they are different. The previously white pages, with letters meticulously thought out and organized, were now stained red.

"you can't forget me darling!"

"stop trying to get rid of what's real!"

"Stay! You must stay!"

"Come home! Come back to me!"

All of this was on every page.

You took them to Seokjin the next day. He told you that you probably did this when you were in a moment of hallucination, where a part of your brain didn't want to leave the comfort that Wonderland brought you.

That makes perfect sense, but a big part of you was saying that wasn't it, that he was wrong, that you didn't do it, and that you were in danger.

But what could you do to change the situation? Seokjin wouldn't believe that you weren't the one who did this, and you and him should be the only people who know about Wonderland.

In a way, the least painful path you found was to ignore the red notes on the white pages, and perhaps a higher dose of the meds could help.

Or so you thought.

Ever since you started going to Wonderland, a part of you knew you were fucked. And ever since then, you knew there was nothing you could do to change it.

The only thing left for you to do is keep this madness under control.

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