#boy is just a ball of obsession with anger management issues

[deeplyshalllow]

Jamie Muscato's JD is really hard to write, because after a while he just imprints on his girlfriend and all he thinks about is how great she is, and how he wants to be with her even though he doesn't deserve her, and how he's going to murder anyone who is vaugly mean to her.

And like dude, I'm trying to write a plot here not a 50k essay about how great your girlfriend is (with the odd paragraph about how your mommy was perfect).

[sweetiecutie]

Pairing: Theodore Nott x fem! Reader

Warnings: second part of this writing is smut so beware, fluff, a bit of insecurities

A/n: I don’t write much about Theo but I’ve had a suffocating obsession with him for so fucking long!! I can’t bottle up those thoughts in my head anymore so I just have to share those with you guys

Theodore Nott dating headcanons

Okay, hear me out, Theo had the fattest crush on you for at least four months before he ever actually approached you! It’s most probable for you to share some of your classes and he happened to sit next to you or behind you, getting to hear your little chats with your friends or even having full conversations with you personally

He would def ogle you from across the great hall during all meals, and not gonna lie - it freaked the fuck out of you at first. Because Theodore doesn’t have this ‘I’m so painfully in love with you’ stare, but rather a ‘I wanna slit your throat with a salad knife’ kind of stare, yk? But once you’ve had a nice chat with him all your worries evaporated bc this boy is a total sweetheart, just a bit shy and introverted

Theo would be very clear with his intentions from the very beginning, so when he asked you out for the first time he added a timid “But I mean it as a date, if you don’t mind” at the end, his cheeks growing rosy and you couldn’t help but feel your heart swell at how adorable Theo looked

Mean to everyone but you trope!! It’s no secret that Theo is all grumpy and gloomy, no one gets surprised by his rather rash mood swings (which are usually bad mood changing to disastrously bad mood), but when he’s with you? Boy, that is a whole another person - he’s all smiley and flirty, joking around, trying to see that precious smile of yours he adores so much

He remembers everything, and I mean everything, about you. What your hobbies are, things that you are interested in, your favorite actors and singers, which flavors and fragrances you like and which you don’t etc. I swear, this man pays more attention to your little whims than to his classes

He loves snuggles so much🥺 His mother passed away shortly after giving birth to Theodore, and his father, being a strict and reserved person he is, wasn’t able to give that parenting love and tenderness to his son, so Theo is touch-starved for sure. He loves every kind of physical touch - handholding, hugging, cuddling, kissing, snuggling - bring it all in

So so devoted. He had been dying for being close to you for so long, and now that he finally has you - there’s no way he’s going to fuck everything up with some stupid flings. In fact, Theodore is all about long-term relationships, and I feel like even an idea of having a one-night stand deeply disgusts him

But Theodore is also very possessive. And it’s not like he doesn’t trust you enough, it’s all the people around you that cannot be trusted. But it’s also his insecurities talking in him - what if you find someone better? Someone smarter and more attractive and you’ll leave him, heartbroken and lonely. Theo is deeply attached to you, and even the thought of you breaking up with him hurts poor boy deeply

Theo has some anger management issues, so there are times when he asks you to leave him alone to cool down, so that he won’t say anything to you in a fit of fury that he’ll heavily regret afterwards

Random dances are really a thing in your relationship! Very often you find yourself waltzing with Theo to a non-existent tune in your head, spinning each other around and giggling like small kids. And if you don’t know how do waltz - don’t worry! Being a pure-blood automatically means being good at ball dances, Theo will teach you everything! And don’t worry about accidentally stomping on his shoes- he will never get mad or tell you off for that

Omg omg imagine being too careless and leaving blotches of your shiny microglitter lipgloss on his cheeks, chin and around his lips, not noticing them in a dim light. And Theo being absolutely clueless, walking around the castle all sparkly, not understanding why his slytherin pals are snickering and smiling slyly at him

I kinda have a feeling, that when you start dating Theo - you get Blaise Draco and Pansy as an additional gift. No matter what you two are doing or where you are - there will always be one or all of those around, teasing the shit out of both of you (mostly Theo)

Smokes like a fucking locomotive! But Theo will try his best to tame it if you chide him for that, leading to him being moodier due to lack of nicotine and untamed oral fixation. Or you’ll just start smoking as well, chain-smoking together and stealing each other’s lighters

NSFW

So as I already mentioned, Theodore is a long-term relationship kind of person, meaning that he needs a strong emotional connection with certain person to have sex with them. I strongly believe that he had every kind of first sexual experience with you - making out, grinding, mutual masturbation, oral and sex itself. To put it simply - Theo was a complete virgin

I think Theo would postpone any kind of sexual experience with you for as long as possible, too afraid to make you feel pressured or thinking that he’s with you only for sex. Actually, it’s more likely for you to initiate anything of that sort, and he still asks you “Are you sure that you want it?” every five minutes. Isn’t he adorable?🥺

But once you’ve actually had sex, Theodore can’t help but be desperate for more. He tries to suppress those distracting thoughts of doing oh so unholy things to your precious body as much as he can, but he crawls to you so needy and whiny just two days after, begging to be close to you again. And how can you say no when he stares down at you with those puppy eyes, whispering about how pretty you are and how horny he gets just from thinking about you

Omg he defo had wet dreams about you before you started dating. Imagine Theo trying his hardest to not think about you, annoyed by how hard he had fallen, and his subconscious playing evil jokes on poor boy, giving him some pretty livid pictures of you two together. Not so innocent pictures, I must note. Okay, not innocent at all. Dreams in which you were sat on top of him, looking down at Theo with those alluring beautiful eyes of yours, your breasts on full display right before his eyes. Or where he was laying in-between your legs, pleasuring you with all he had. The first time it ever happened Theo was shaken awake by Blaise who was mumbling something about oversleeping. Thanks Merlin Theo was laying on his side, so that his painful boner wasn’t poking so obviously through layers of his blankets. He was so embarrassed by himself he couldn’t even look at you for the next few days

He doesn’t make too much noise during sex. Theodore is a quiet person in general - he talks only when it’s necessary and prefers to listen to others instead. That be said - he loooves hearing you moan and whimper and plea and babble in pleasure, so don’t even try to hold all those sweet little noises in. He really feels awkward about making any noises himself, but he lets you know just how good you make him feel with his facial expressions, long sighs and countless praises muttered into your ears with his ‘sexy Theo voice’

Loves loves loves eating pussy. Oh, this man goes absolutely feral, working his mouth on you, tongue flicking over your clit in quick tight circles, giving an occasional suck. And this man has completely mastered (with your help, of course) the perfect combination of tongue and fingers, being able to give you a mind-blowing orgasm in just five minutes

Marking marking marking marking. Leaves marks everywhere he can - your neck, chest, shoulders, tummy, thighs- everywhere. And please, please leave marks on his as well - leave hickeys and bite-marks in the most obvious places - he’d never cover them in his life, wearing them as the most treasured jewelry - just let everyone know that he’s yours

One of Theodore’s biggest turn-ons is spitting in your mouth and making you swallow it. No I’m not sorry for that

His favorite position is definitely missionary, where Theo is half-lying on top of you, intense skin against skin contact, your legs draped around his hips, pounding deep and slow into your dripping pussy, all while gazing into your eyes lovingly

Omgomg imagine having passionate sex with Theo with lots of heavy touching and open-mouthed kisses all while songs from “Awaken, My Love!” album by Childish Gambino are blaring on the background *chokes on spit and tears*

And here’s a lil addition💖

Likes, reblogs and comments are highly appreciated. Give writers some love - feedback is the thing that inspires us on creating more new content💖

[princess-of-the-corner]

requesting infodump on the LoV because they seem interesting without full context

a group of villains, some directly linked to pro heroes - does that mean they accept fallen heroes? etc etc

Okay so

I am absorbing this series through fandom osmosis and slowly reading the Canon Manga.

Which means there's some members of the LoV that I know better than others, while there's a chunk I haven't deep dived into as much because they're not fan favorites I guess?

So I'm gonna speedrun through the ones I do know specifics about! I'm also gonna do 100% Canon, not my AU stuff because tbh I roll with some changes and redemptions

All for One(AfO):

Quirk: All for One, the ability to steal Quirks from other people

Main villain, big bad motherfucker. Absolute asshole. Old as balls(or at least 100). Surprisingly very fascinating to speculate on but none of that is good for a short summary. We don't know his real first name, as he just uses his Quirk's name as his own, but his last name was 'Shigaraki'.

Tomura Shigaraki:

Quirk: Decay, things he touch will be destroyed.

Daddy Issues #1. Orignal name was Tenko Shimura. Grandson of a Hero, Nana Shimura. So you've followed the whole 'One for All passes down through users' thing? Nana was the user before All Might. Tenko's dad was kind of a dick tho basically taking his own issues out on the kids. Tenko was targeted by our Main Villian, All for One, and got 'the world's most illegal adoption' after Tenko's Quirk manifested and he accidentally killed his bio family. AfO has Stockholm Syndromed the shit out of the kid over the next fifteen years and has groomed him into being his successor(plus some other funky meta shit regarding Quirk Nonsense I barely understand).

Dabi:

Quirk: Blueflame

Daddy Issues #2! Original name was Toya Todoroki. His father is the Pro Hero Endeavor. Main character Shoto is his younger brother. There's a LOT to unpack on the entirety of the Todoroki Family Drama™ that I do not have the energy to type out. Short version: Endeavor is a fuckin asshole and abusive to the family. Toya wanted to prove his worth, but lost control in his anger and started a raging wildfire. He was presumed dead, but hey guess what? He was found by our Big Bad Villain AfO! Who tbh was probably stalking him and waiting for a recruitment opportunity because he's already done that twice already. Toya recovered somewhat, is filled with rage in part because his death seemed to mean nothing as his dad is still a dick, so he's working with the League to show the world the kind of person his dad is and then also murder him for everything he did(but also is becoming a far worse person on this revenge quest and no longer cares if his siblings get hurt or die and tbh he might also just straight up kill them too fuck it apparently.)

Himiko:

Quirk: Transform, allows the user to transform into people by consuming their blood. Also causes a bit of an obsession with blood.

Himiko's parents were incredibly disturbed by her Quirk, forcing her to behave like a 'normal' girl. She managed to suppress her morbid tendencies until middle school, when she snapped and attacked a boy she had a crush on to drink his blood. Himiko ran away, and her parents disowned her, called her a lost cause and a 'demon child' and nothing but a villain, so she embraced that fully and went very murdery. Lived on the streets for a while before finding and joining the League

Kurogiri:

Quirk: Warp Gate, a cloud of dark fog that can be used as a portal.

Kurogiri is a thing called a 'Nomu'. Basically some fucked up human experimentation. Though most of them are kinda brainless super-soldiers, Kurogiri is the only one who is like. An actual proper person still, though not quite the person he once was. Kurogiri was made out Oboro Shirakumo, a UA student who supposedly died over a decade ago. Oboro was a friend of Aizawa, Present Mic and Midnight when they were all in school together.

Honestly there's a good chunk more but I don't know as much about them without spelunking the wiki. Like I know names and Quirks but my grasp on personality and backstory are not at the point where I can ramble off the cuff when I should be trying to sleep

Re: are they open to 'fallen Heroes'

Theoretically since there's a subplot about Pro Hero Hawks infiltrating the League and pretending to be on their side while gathering info and working to take them down. Hawks is a very public Hero so they all know who he is, but I guess he convinces them that he wants to turn villain and hand over Hero secrets to them. (Some believe him, others don't)

[erodasfishtacos]

Maybe some mlb Harry angst?? I'm obsessed with all of your recent updates!!🥰✨🤍

Harry had broken a record tonight at a game and it was a cause for celebration - aka a night out with the team at the bar.

YN was frustrated that he was going but couldn’t say anything because she wanted him to enjoy his victory with his team.

But it left her home with their four little ones and no help after a night at the ball field so they were hyper from cotton candy and slushies.

Easton hadn’t been an issue. He headed up diligently to bed at the right time with a tuck in and kiss from his mother.

Cash and Ezra were proving difficult to calm down, Briar was constantly feeding at this point, and she was just exhausted.

She was trying to feed their daughter when Cash pushed Ezra because he stole a toy from him which caused the younger one to fall and scratch his arm on another toy.

Then Cash was in tears from getting in trouble, Ezra was in tears from his minor cut, and Briar was crying because she was hungry and got interrupted multiple times.

YN felt tears brimming with how overwhelmed she felt, she needed Harry to come home and help her - she was struggling with all the tears and noise, this late at night.

Cash was now sitting in time out on the stairs, screaming bloody murder as he kicked his feet out - making a loud thumping noise and Ezra was trying to crawl onto her lap, sobbing when there was no room because of the baby.

She manages to snatch her phone from the table and press his contact as fast as humanly possible, wincing as Briar knicks her nipple with a incoming tooth.

When he answers, it’s loud with bumping pop music and chattering, she can barely hear him when he answers with a, “Hi, mama!”

She gathers her voice so she doesn’t sound shaky, “Hi, I need you to come home. I’m sorry, I know you’re celebrating but I need help with the kids.”

“Just put ‘em to bed,” He says like it was that easy, still carrying that carefree tone as he laughs at a teammate’s joke, like he was really only half listening to her.

“I’ve been trying for the past two hours, Harry,” She snaps angrily, feeling a sob rising up her throat when Easton steps down the stairs.

His eyebrows are furrow and he huffs, “Everyone is too loud, mama! I want to sleep!”

“Well, we just got here not to long ago and the guys are going go-“

YN laughs bitterly, voice rising at her husband, “Jesus, Harry. I rarely call you for help and this one time. I can’t even get a minute to feed our daughter. They’re your children too!”

“Whoa, lovie. I jus-“

She hangs up on and tosses her phone on the couch, scolding Ezra when he grabs it, “Put that down, Ezra Duke.”

He drops it with a loud thud screen first on the floor with a pout before going to antagonize Cash on the time out step.

This was rare form.

The kids were usually never this rowdy and she wasn’t sure what had gotten into them but she was anxious with all the commotion.

After a while of trying to wrangle them which isn’t working because she doesn’t have the energy to yell at them, she steps into the powder room to let out a sob as pulls up her loose shirt to attempt to feed the hungry infant who’s clawing marks at her chest in anger.

YN didn’t want to snap on the kids, it’s not that they’re really doing anything wrong, and she knew it would be best to take a minute away.

She hears the front door open - heart dropping for a minute that one of the boys had figured out how to open it but instead she’s surprised by Harry’s dad voice booming through the lower level as he addresses his children one by one with firmness in his tone.

“Cash Edward, get your bum off the coffee table right now. You know better than to act like that.”

“Ezra Duke, take your hands off your brother this second or you’re going on the step for a very long time.”

“Easton Robin, wipe that glare off your face and do not throw that ball in the house or I’m throwing it out.”

It then gets eerily quiet as they all scamper to listen to their furious father with fear, rarely do they get yelled out.

“Now all three of you, go out your bums on that couch, and don’t move until I come back. Do you understand?” Harry asks in a rough tone that has the boys scuttling over to the sofa without hesitation to behave.

Three timid, “Yes daddys” ring out and there is calm for the first time in hours.

Harry finds his wife sat on the toilet lid with Briar suckling happily and YN crying into the hand that’s not cradling her daughter.

“YN-“

“Please just go put them to bed, Harry,” YN begs, rolling out some tissue to wipe her smeared mascara from her cheeks.

“Okay, M’sorry,” He murmurs before returning to the living room to address his now listening sons, “All three of you owe your mama an apology. The three of you know better and know that mama has to take extra special care of Briar because she’s so little still and needs mama to feed her.”

The boys cautiously appear in the bathroom doorway before trotting over to their mother, each one apologizing in their squeaky voices, and giving her a kiss for bed.

When Briar is finished eating and the little ones are settled in bed, YN tugs off her shirt, her nipples were killing her - sensitive and sore from the cluster feedings.

She’s sat on the couch after she puts their daughter to bed with two ice packs on her chest to soothe the intense pressure she feels on them.

Harry trails down after the upstairs is quiet and all the children are asleep, he frowns when he sees that her chest is bothering her.

“I owe you an apology,” Harry starts, sitting down next to her on the couch and tugging her feet on his lap to massage the bottoms.

He smelled like a mixture of his normal deep, vanilla and leather scent along with a bar - she felt guilty he had to leave his own celebration.

“It’s okay,” YN replies simply, she was too tired to engage in any type of argument - her eyelids already fluttering shut, “Thanks for coming home.”

He frowns, hands coming to rub at her somewhat swollen ankles from being on her feet all day, “You’re right, they’re my kids to take care of too. Shouldn’t have left you in the first place. It’s not okay. I don’t know where my head was at tonight.”

His wife yawns widely as she speaks, “It’s fine, already forgiven. You didn’t really get to live out your early years partying so it’s okay for you to want to sometimes.”

“Hey, I wouldn’t change anything for the world. You know that right? M’so fucking in love with you, darling,” He murmurs, his hands roaming to lightly dance over the taut skin of her chest, the irritated skin from where Briar used her sharp baby nails to signal her hunger.

He gets worried when he doesn’t get a response so he looks up to her face to see her asleep with her head against the back of the couch.

God, he loved her so much.

[masterjedilenawrites]

Do you have any headcanons for the Bad Batch when they were cadets? How they were treated by other clones, or by the Kaminoans? What each of the four boys were like when they were cadets? Thank you!

I actually do have some headcanons on this topic because I may or may not think about the Bad Batch constantly I think about them a normal, healthy amount and okay, here we go...

Hunter:

Fit in socially more than the others. Didn't grow out his hair or get tattoos until after he deployed, and his abilities weren't as obvious, so he more-or-less was able to blend in with the regs. Never really got bullied or bothered.

Struggled with his mutations the most. No one knew for a while if he was going to cut it. Overstimulation, head-splitting migraines, the whole bit.

But he had exceptional combat skills, great leadership potential, and an unwavering can-do attitude. So as a way to save him from decommission, the Kaminoans isolated him for a while to help him manage his senses and cope with the side effects.

Connected with Crosshair first. Cross would keep an eye on the team when he was away or in more specialized training. And he always seemed to know what Hunter was thinking without him having to say. They formed a silent but strong bond.

Wrecker and Tech were more like younger brothers he had to manage. Obviously Crosshair would still get in on the drama too, but Hunter had to really stay on top of Wrecker's restlessness and Tech getting sidetracked.

Interacted with a lot of the other Commanders and Sergeants and hung out with them in his free time just a little more than the Batch. It just felt easier to let loose with other leaders.

Generally a good cadet, but often questioned things or tried to think outside the box/protocols. Had to find balance between being what others expected and listening to his inner rebel.

Wrecker:

Some regs gave him a wide birth, while others would pick fights with him just to test their own strength. This actually made Wrecker kinda depressed as a cadet; he's a friendly guy, but no one wanted to be his friend. It hurt.

Channeled his anger into his training, which he already did a lot of just because he had more energy than anyone knew what to do with. The Kaminoans had to up their production of dummy droids just for him.

Instant favorite of the Kaminoans, his mutations were obviously useful. But with all the dummies and all the food the guy ate...they often had to run a cost-benefit analysis to make sure the resources spent were worth it.

Struggled with the academic stuff, until Hunter discovered he could learn better if the material was more hands-on and interactive.

Took to all the Batchers right away. They were his only social outlet. Hunter helped him work through his depression and find his confidence again. Tech always came up with cool ideas he could try with his strength. And Crosshair was the only one who understood his love of weapons and explosives.

So he became their defender against the other cadets. Any teasing or bullying was immediately turned into a fight if Wrecker heard about it. Wasn't subtle so he often got in trouble.

Initiated a lot of pranks and shenanigans out of boredom. Was the one who came up with all the skull imagery on their armor. Preferred the group training exercises over the solo ones.

Crosshair

Definitely got bullied by the regs, stood out like a sore thumb. He was too tall and too skinny and his hair too grey... Got called a lot of names and pushed around in the halls, sometimes tricked and sabotaged too.

But he also egged them on. Liked to poke and prod and get reactions out of people. Because if he could get them to snap first, then he didn't feel as much like the victim.

Didn't interact much with the Kaminoans, was pretty self-sufficient with his training. He liked to push himself and test his limits on his own.

Wasn't close with the other Batchers for a while, just observed them at first, figured out what they were about before letting them in. Even though they were odd balls like him, he still struggled getting over his trust issues.

He and Hunter developed their own understanding between each other, but he was secretly partial to Tech. He felt the need to keep an eye on him more than the others. The nerd was just so oblivious sometimes, it was frustrating but it brought out his protective side.

He and Wrecker developed more of a sibling rivalry relationship. Crosshair hated how loud and messy the big guy was, and Wrecker was never patient with his calmer approach. They started their kill count competition almost right away.

Was good at following instructions and directive. Did his assignments on time and only occasionally questioned or challenged things. Did not enjoy his cadet experience though and desperately looked forward to leaving Kamino.

Tech:

Also frequently bullied and teased, but he didn't engage as much as the other Batchers. Mostly because he didn't really notice or understand what was happening, too lost in his own thoughts to realize he was the butt of the joke.

But he wasn't completely clueless, and when he was aware he was getting picked on, he just internalized it. Some of those words still sit heavy in his heart to this day.

The Kaminoans were also uncertain what to do with Tech, they weren't sure if it was a good thing they'd created someone so freaking smart. What if he questioned things too much?

Was for sure the student that was too smart to pay attention in class and ended up getting in trouble as a result. It took Hunter interfering before he was given more challenging assignments, and eventually allowed to just self-teach.

Didn't exactly bond with any of the others, but ended up spending more time with Crosshair. He was the only one patient enough to listen to his idle ramblings, or would sit with him while they quietly worked on their own assignments.

But he did take an interest in the rest of the group's mutations and worked on special projects to help each of them cope effectively and capitalize on their abilities.

A mentally restless cadet, often stayed up late on research binges or obsessed over a part of his training until it was perfected. Felt disconnected and misunderstood, he never had a true outlet to express all the ideas and knowledge he had.

[dancingstarsbornfromchaos]

Some random background story headcanons I have for Evil Rick, since there’s really not enough content about his character! (And since I was encouraged to share by a lovely person)

As a young kid, Rick showed all the signs what psychiatry would later label as a Conduct Disorder (which in teenagers is called Antisocial Personality Disorder): complete disregard for social norms, delinquent behaviour (mostly in the form of skipping school, stealing and destruction of property), lack of empathy, cruelty towards animals, intimidating behaviours, open aggression. So, he was damaged goods since the very start, capable of, and very willing to, destroying and twisting everything he touched.

Being as smart as he was just made it worse. He quickly learnt how not to get caught, how to act behind others’ back, how to make sure that he could get away with it, even when everyone was aware of the kind of little monster he was. But no proof, no crime, right?

He even sent several of his classmates to the hospital through his elementary and middle school years, leaving some of them deeply traumatised in the aftermath and a couple physically impaired.

His family never did anything about it. The Sanchez struggled with money and Rick’s mother was far too busy working her three job’s to care for her son...a son she hadn’t wanted to have to start with. As for his father, the man was half an alcoholic and half a criminal and, while absent in his son’s life, he was around more and the only figure Rick could learn something from. And what he learnt was that when you wanted something, the quickest way to go around the issue was to take it, rules and consent be damned.

While his parents never physically abused him, Rick grew up in a state of complete neglect (emotional, but also material), having to fend for himself since an age when he should have been too young to even just be alone in the house.

At every new school he was sent to, he attracted the attention of the local bullies, but it never lasted. Eventually, something really nasty happened to them and everyone learnt to keep their distances, kids and adults alike.

School still felt like a waste of time to him, so he chose to focus on teaching himself what he needed and wanted to learn. And that was were most of his efforts went. While he never felt the need for a connection with other people, unless it involved causing them pain or gaining something out of it, science was the one thing that made him feel more than just anger, frustration, boredom or the need to break everything around him. Where he usually lived following a primal urge for destruction, it gave him a chance to experience what it was like to create.

He left home at 16, and his family never even thought of looking for him. He made money through his inventions and crime, usually never getting fully involved and preferring to stand aside and watch the chaos his schemes and twisted games led to.

Soon, however, all that was no longer enough. Everything he did got dull faster and faster and Earth started to feel like a prison, which lead him to work obsessively on finding a way to leave that ball of dirt behind.

Diane was a convenient opportunity. She was good-looking in a way that society approved, she was easy to fall for his lone wolf act and her will too see good even where there was none made her easy to manipulate. And, more importantly, she had enough normalcy to hide away Rick’s abnormalities too. He never loved her, nor the daughter they had together. He just got her pregnant so he could marry her and use her as a walking hideout while he kept on pursuing his own interests in peace.

The very same day he finished to build his space ship, Rick packed his stuff and left in the middle of the day, while Diane was off to pick up a 5-years-old Beth out of school. He didn’t leave a note, never looked back. And forgot about them both pretty quickly too.

In that bloodied, lawless mess that space turned to be, Rick truly thrived for the first time in his life. He turned himself into a mercenary, working for whoever managed to pique his interest the most and for whoever offered him the best chance to get creative with his work. The Federation was hardly the only one to suffer from his games and whims. Some came to say that Rick Sanchez destroyed civilizations for breakfast, if he woke up in that kind of mood. Or if he had a bit too much to drink the night before.

He met the Squanchy and the Birdperson of his dimensions, but they never became friends. They were just people he had dealt with while he sold weapons to the Rebellion, two faces who stood up just a little more in a sea of a thousands more.

Of course, his lifestyle and disregard for the consequences earned him an endless list of enemy. He was hunted down and captured, tortured in all the conceivable ways. He was almost killed several times, violated in the body and the mind alike. He lost counts of all the substances that were put and that he willingly put into his body, which by now was synthetic and part machine than human. Yet, he always came out on top, covered in blood and with that insane, terrifying tingle in his eyes shining just a bit brighter each time.

Meeting other Ricks and learning about interdimensional traveling marked a new turn in his life. He moved through different realities, took a vague interest in studying the differences in the course or history (and eventually found most of them pathetic and unworthy of his time). He even spent a couple of years living on the Citadel, hidden away in its darkest corners, always under the radar.

One thing stuck with him of all his experiences among his other selves, the same thing that eventually pushed him travel back to his own Earth, something he had never even just considered doing after having left it behind for good. The boy.

Showing up at his estranged daughter’s door, Rick quickly learnt two things: one, he wasn’t welcome but they let him stay anyway because he was bringing resources they didn’t have and, especially, because Beth was smart enough to figure that there was no denying him; secondly, his daughter’s family was no different from the one he had grown up with. A house full of indifference and neglect, where the kids were left to their own devices, no matter the consequences.

His 10-years-old Morty turned out to be nothing like Rick had been as a child. He was weak, easily scared, too full of stupid hopes and dreams, craving to be nurtured and given the affection that none of the people around him was willing to offer. He was pathetic, even, a crying, shivering mess. And yet, Rick didn’t miss it, the spark of strong willpower and stubbornness that would have allowed the kid to thrive just as Rick himself had done, if properly cultivated.

Useless to say, Rick didn’t hesitate to completely take over Morty’s life. It wasn’t like there was anyone to stop him or to worry or give a damn anyway. He planned on breaking the kid into pieces, literally and figuratively, over and over and over, using his own horrifying experiences as a guide. He would have forced him to accept that there was nothing in his life, in his universe but Rick. Then he would have put him back together, shaped him and molded him into something as resilient as Rick’s own wrecked life had made him. A sharp tool, a deadly weapon, a helpful sidekick. And, perhaps, one day, a partner. Because, whether or not he was willing to admit it, Morty was the first and only person Rick was ever able and ever wished to truly connect with.

[trifle-of-doom]

The Hawk X Demetri Manifesto

Okay, here is the thing. Despite being well past my teens, there's a particular ship of Cobra Kai that has drawn my attention, this ship being Hawk/Eli x Demetri. When I first watched the show, I was actually more invested in the adult characters storylines than the teens. I immediately rooted for Johnny and Carmen, and I was always hoping for more interactions between them. But then I saw episode 2x05, in which the atmosphere between the Binary Brothers becomes way more dense, and that's when I started to see some potential for them. Not because I'm a deranged person who fosters abusive relationships, but because I immediately caught the hurt/comfort dynamic of the duo, which is something that works really well when it comes to fictional relationships. However, it wasn't until 3x10 that I said, "Ok, that's official, I need to see more of these two! I totally support them!" And I was quite surprised to find a fairly large amount of people who are very committed to this pairing, to the point it's caught the attention of the screenwriters/producers as well. Honestly, I don't know if the showrunners will ever have the guts to make them an official couple, and chances are their supporters will have to keep reading between the lines of their bromance, but in any case, here is my take on why Hawk/Eli x Demetri is an option worth to be considered.

#1 - The Bromance

If there's something that many years of navigating the Internet taught me, is that the main driving factor for fan-made ships is the presence of either a solid relationship based on mutual brotherly love or a bitter rivalry that may or may not flow into hate/obsession. If you consider anime fandoms, there are thousand examples that fit into either of these categories: Yugi and Jonouchi from the Yu-Gi-Oh series (yes, that's how old I am), Yugi and Kaiba from Yu-Gi-Oh, Sakuragi and Rukawa from Slam Dunk, Light and L from Death Note, etc. And our Hawk and Demetri fit into both categories. When we first see them, they are the stereotypical nerdy friends (possibly childhood friends?) sitting at the losers' table, who have no one else but each other. When Eli is at his most sensitive and fragile, you can tell he feels comfortable being with Demetri by the genuine smile he has on his face as Demetri is joking with Miguel at the canteen table. Through his sarcasm, the mouthy kid acts as a catalyst to deviate the attention from Eli, speaking for him, reprimanding Johnny when he makes fun of his lip and trying to make him feel safe. Besides, you can see a certain degree of frustration in Demetri when Kyler and his gang are harassing Eli, and he's unable to do anything to defend him. And they even have a jingle for their friendship with a robot dance, I mean, how cute is that? But of course, a solid friendship between two helpless nerdy guys is not enough to spark a ship to be rooting for. In order for the magic to happen, another key ingredient is needed, i.e. a little bit of angst. Which brings us straight to the next point.

#2 - The Angst (aka the Hurt/Comfort Dynamic)

Even though I never liked the Twilight saga or any similar urban fantasy young adult works, I can easily see where the appeal comes from; the attraction to a charming, dangerous person who could either protect you from any harm or crush you like grape. Although with different franchises, I wasn't immune to the bad boy trope either (Yes, I'm looking at you, my teenage self drooling over Grimmjow from Bleach). If we can appreciate the genuine, brotherly friendship between nerdy Eli and Demetri, the shift that Eli makes as he transitions into Hawk and becomes more aggressive and dominant gives their relationship a totally different flavor. Attrition sparks a certain tension that, in the viewer's eyes, could either flow into a brawl or into passion.

During the mall fight, Demetri comes to the realization that his former best friend is actually someone who can crush him like grape. We see Hawk intentionally harming him for the first time, and Demetri's heartbreaking expression as he drops the line: "You'd actually hurt me?" And if that line gave us a pang in our hearts when we first watched Season 2, imagine rewatching it now that we know what happens in Season 3. Demetri is chased down the mall, running for his life, and then he's locked in a grip, as his best friend menacingly advances towards him. Demetri appears as the damsel in distress, however his friend is not the one who will fight to protect him, but rather his tormentor.

During the party at Moon's, Demetri manages to briefly go through Hawk's mask and reach out to Eli, thanks to a casual conversation about Dr Who. But then the beer incident happens, and Demetri defends himself with the only weapon he has – his loudmouth. The situation is reversed, and for a brief moment, he gets to be the dominant one as he discloses all Eli's most intimate secrets. Demetri is now actively contributing to the Hurt/Comfort dynamic; he's no longer just a target, but he's doing his part to enlarge that gaping hole that has formed between them. And Hawk didn't take it well.

From this moment on, Demetri becomes a sort of obsession to Hawk, who hunts him down the school, teasing him and taunting him sadistically, like a serial killer from a horror movie, during the big fight. Of course, in real life, this would be completely insane, and the police/a social assistant/psychiatrist should be called, but in ShipLand, these situations are pure gold. Okay, we get it, Hawk wants to get revenge for the humiliation at the party, and he wants to crush that nerd part of himself he sees in Demetri, but he does it with such an intensity that it borders on ridiculous. It's like this is his twisted way to acknowledge Demetri's presence. Eventually, Hawk ends up smashed into the trophy case, and I confess I felt a little disappointed when Demetri broke that hug to give Hawk a roundhouse kick. I mean, it was a great comeback, but I was sincerely hoping for a "No hard feelings man, let's get outta here!" scenario.

Getting back to the sick and twisted way Hawk acknowledges Demetri's presence, he destroys his science project after he got jealous due to him being confident in his nerd self and laughing around with his ex girlfriend (whom the writers insist he still has a crush on). Speaking of Moon, I have a feeling she likes Hawk mostly based on his badass appearance. Remember when she goes "I like this (mohawk) and I love these (muscles), but I'm not dating a bully"?

Then the football match happens. Okay, let's break this down. Demetri trips Hawk and acts all sassy, and a fellow Cobra Kai is immediately ready to take him down, but Hawk stops him. "Fight smart, he says". Too bad that literally 5 seconds earlier he had shoved a kid to the ground just because his ex girlfriend (again, duuuh~) ignored him when he winked at her. And then, as he's trying to intercept the ball, BANG, Hawk hits Demetri, sending him to the ground, pretending it was an accident. So, what does this tell us? That Hawk has some serious anger management issues? Yeah sure, but also that he cares about fighting smart only as long as it serves as an excuse to leave Demetri for him, because he's his designated target. Again, this is all but romantic, and it doesn't necessarily have to be interpreted as him lusting after his friend, but it's undeniable that this dynamic offers a lot of ship fuel.

The arm breaking thing is just too painful to even analyze. We see a completely helpless Demetri begging for mercy to his ex best friend, who has made No Mercy his life motto. And that scream, oh that scream. All I wanted to see was Hawk realizing what he had done and throwing himself on his knees while begging for forgiveness. But I'm glad that at least we get to see he feels awful for what he's done, and I like to think that, as he got home, Eli cried out all the tears he had in his body thinking about poor Demetri at the hospital, with a swollen broken arm, all because of him. Of all the situations, this is undoubtedly the most deranged and extreme, and if something like this happened in real life, the wrongdoer would deserve to be punished and would definitely need to be sent to therapy. But in ShipLand, this opens the road to many, many different scenarios, in which the bully understands his mistakes and shifts back to the good side, or the two share a tender moment after they reconcile, or the traumatized character has to to learn to trust the other one again, or the bully becomes overprotective of his former victim, etc.

#3 - A Rewarding Reconciliation

Finally, we come to the reconciliation, in which Hawk makes his heel-to-face turn. While we've seen him torn with doubt for an entire season about his sensei's teachings, his actions and the people he wants to surround himself with, the key factor that drives Hawk's redemption is the sight of his best friend being held down for him to beat. And with an epic stunt and his awesome KEEEH screech, Hawk jumps to the rescue of his friend. Like many of us, Demetri thought this was still part of the "Only I Can Torment Him" dynamic I discussed earlier, as he steps backwards a little concerned, but then he understands that action was actually meant to save him, and the two begin to fight side by side, in sync, watching each other's back. You can see Demetri's eyes sparkling at the thought of having his friend back.

Also, not only Demetri stands up to alpha bitch Tory in defense of Eli, but he also speaks for his friend when he's faltering, just like he used to. So kudos for Demetri.

#4 - The Red Oni, Blue Oni Dynamic

Binary Brothers are two sides of the same coin and complete each other with opposite character traits, visually expressed by the color red and the color blue. Being the color red typically associated with violence, rage, passion and irrationality, as opposed to blue, which is associated with calmness, melancholy and rationality, red is clearly the dominant color. Again, this opens many interesting scenarios for shippers.

#5 - Body Language

Besides the situations I described above, which may or may not be read from a romantic/attraction standpoint, there are also a collection of small gestures I noticed when rewatching the series with a more attentive look on their relationship.

- Demetri's heart-broken expression when Eli shamefully covers his lip during the anti-bullying announcement.

- The smile Demetri gives when Hawk responds "Hell yeah!" after Aisha proposes to crash Yasmin's party, implying he's learning to embrace this new wild side of his best friend

- The astonished look with which Demetri watches Hawk at the tournament and the way he's pissed no one knows his real name.

- How deeply hurt Demetri is when Hawk belittles him by saying: "Five against three. More like two and a half." He even tries to reply, but he's caught so off guard that words die in his throat.

- How Demetri takes a step towards Hawk during the mall fight, before Sam makes him back off, and how sadly he looks at Hawk's nearly unconscious body after Robby defeated him.

- How Demetri smiles and nods when he briefly connects with Eli at Moon's party, despite the mall incident.

- How Hawk watches Demetri juggle with the cleaning product from behind his bike helmet (how did he stuff the mohawk in there by the way)?

- Hawk's psychotic/sadistic faces when he smells Demetri's blood, and how he likes to hunt him down like he's his prey.

- Hawk's secret impulse to comfort Demetri after the arm breaking (I hope you get nightmares of Demetri's howl of pain for the rest of your life, Hawk).

- The way Hawk twitches his upper lip when he sees his friend Demetri in danger.

- How Hawk and Demetri are so absorbed in their new-found friendship, that they're caught off guard, and Demetri swings Hawk to allow him to deliver a kick using their handshake as a lever. And how they keep fighting together, shaking each other's hands even when they're out of focus and the attention is on Miguel vs. Kyler.

- How they're standing so close at Miyagi Do, in comparison with the other Red/Blue partners.

In conclusion, this kind of relationships are engaging and entertaining to watch, and they make us wish the best for the characters. They make us hope that, in the end, as Miguel puts it, love really conquers all (and what is friendship if not a form of love?), despite all the hurt they did to each other.

So this is it. I hope you enjoyed my Ted Talk. Feel free to share it with whomever you want, especially if you need some solid reasons why this ship has got some good potential.

And remember: the ship is in the eye of the beholder.

F.

[ofhoneyblood]

BRYCE ATLAS WINSLOW

pronouns: HE , HIM , HIS

age: THIRTY - EIGHT

species: HUMAN

nationality: IRISH , ITALIAN , AMERICAN

sexuality: PANSEXUAL / DEMIROMANTIC

sign: AQUARIUS SUN , LIBRA MOON , VIRGO RISING

occupation: OWNER & BOUNCER @ RED HOT PUSSY LIQUORS

+ traits: INVITING. FAIR. FUNNY. OPEN-MINDED. TOLERANT.

-- traits: GUARDED. DETACHED. DESPERATE. SELF-DESTRUCTIVE. 

faceclaim: MILO VENTIMIGLIA

soundscapes: HERE

aesthetic: HERE

yo yo you yo , it’s lydia ( yes , that’s my real name ) here with my noble beast bryce winslow ! i have had bryce as a muse longer than any other and it’s been literal years since i’ve written him so i’m extremely excited. this is the first time he will be milo though and i’m super hype to get things going ! i have headcanon after headcanon for him , so hit me up if you want to do something bc i am ready to do some shit !! again , i’m lydia ( or nary , nettle , snottie , etc. ) and i love a good name change , twenty five years old , pansexual demigirl ( she / her & / or they / them ) residing in the central timezone.

this is THIRTY-EIGHT year old BRYCE WINSLOW , the OWNER OF & BOUNCER AT RED HOT PUSSY LIQUORS BURLESQUE AND BOOZE who uses HE / HIM pronouns. he grew up in DUBLIN , IRELAND but came to pleasance in JULY 2006 ON HAPPENSTANCE AND TO RUN AWAY FROM HIS PAST and now enjoys spending his time at FOR KEEPS AND RED HOT PUSSY LIQUORS. BRYCE is written by LYDIA.

PERSONALITY

element: air ruling planet: uranus — planet of originality body part: ankles good day: communicative , original , open-minded , fair , logical , inviting , tolerant , funny bad day: guarded , detached , self-destructive , out-of-touch , irrational , desperate , lonely favorite things: dancing , teaching , team sports , anything with a cause or mission , independent films , working out , baths , animals , preserving plant life / flowers , reading least favorite things: injustice , drama queens , feeling isolated , owing money or favors , having to choose just one thing , personal questions , gossip , cigarette smoke secret wish: to experience total freedom how to spot him: a cute smile lighting up a tired face , quirky movements , tired eyes , long legs , big hands , flannel , old beat up truck where you’ll find him: backpacking or hiking , protesting , coaching a team , revolutionizing the industry he works in , the gym , red hot pussy liquors , alone at home , working on a project , taking a walk by northwood lake keywords: friendliness , eccentricity , teamwork , humanitarianism , technology , groups , avant-garde

first thing to know about bryce winslow is that he’s a free-spirit that prizes individuality and plays well on a team. he has been known to do things his own way , moving on a path different from everyone else’s. some call him eccentric , others appreciate his cutting-edge originality and authentic style.

one of the many ways that the irishman is a paradox ? he’s highly individualistic , but also an amazing team player. he might look like the fresh-faced guy next door on the outside , but inside he marches to his own beat. naturally popular , as he’s vibrantly social and loves to be among people , telling jokes and introducing thought-provoking conversation topics.

people truly do make his world go round , and he can become friends with the most random strangers. can be a bit of an alien — a little “ out there ” in his approach to different things. not that he cares about offending anyone ! loves a good casual connection , bryce can disengage as quickly as he connects. in fact , platonic pals sometimes get better treatment than romantic partners. 

while he can be a bit unsentimental on a one-on-one level , he can be moved to tears by the plight of animals , the environment or other social justice issues. yes , this big irishman is a bohemian at heart in some ways , but he also gets the job done. as a tenacious aquarius , he can be quite hardworking when he devotes himself to a goal. 

a competitive ( and lesser-known ) type a streak can emerge when he really wants something. nothing turns him on like progress , especially in the name of his grander ideals ! playing hard to get REALLY works on him lol

philanthropic and objective , bryce is in a lot of ways innovative and avant-garde. from experimental electronic music to community-oriented living , there’s nothing that this man hasn’t or won’t explore. as someone who loves being a part of a good group or team , bringing people together is also one of his specialties. 

intense bryce energy is cutting-edge , “ out there ” and even a little strange at times. a total nerd for all things futuristic , science fiction and wacky inventions. no topic is too cutting-edge with this irishman: extraterrestrials , stem cells , cloning , robots taking over the earth…yup , bryce will go there. 

while he likes to influence rebellion and detaching from reality ( c’mon bryce , back to earth ! ) , he likes to help others see possibilities they wouldn’t otherwise. the essence of his true energy is: community-oriented , original , open-minded , fair , logical , humanitarian , connecting , and inviting. 

the negative expression of bryce’s energy can be: guarded , detached , destructive , out-of-touch , irrational , and desperate.  reluctant to express emotions — the irishman prefers rational reasoning and cool-headed logic to the messy tapestry of the human feelings. 

one of his favorite authors is ayn rand , founder of the objectivist movement , and that’s pretty much all you need to know. objectivism has been a major influence on the libertarian movement , which has a real bryce flavor. it’s an organized system that also preserves individual freedom and limits government intervention. it’s very “ fringe ” and mainstream all at once , a fascinating paradox and something that really intrigues him.

playful gusts and a social butterfly whirlwind combines into a gale force of humanitarianism for all. bryce is a visionary , dreaming up quirky utopias and alternative realities that can shake up the status quo.  emotional detachment , unpredictable energy and rebellion are major factors in the irishman’s personality. not going to lie , he can be “ type a “ and totally quirky all at the same time ??

a stabilizer — the one who sets up a solid goal or foundation then starts building. bryce can take the enthusiastic idea that someone else sparks and craft it into something real. he picks up the ball when another passes it , running the distance to the goal. 

the trustworthy type who likes “ to-do ” lists and fancy titles. if a friend says , “ let’s go on vacation ! ” he’s already calling the travel agency , booking the tickets and hotel , and sending everyone a list of what to pack.

true believer in friendship and teamwork , so bryce tends to be more focused on a group than an individual. freedom is important to him , which is why he likes to keep things light on an interpersonal level. that way , he won’t feel bad about running off to the opposite corner of the world at a moment’s notice. 

at times , this nomadic strategy backfires , leaving him lonely and disconnected. in truth , the irishman is uncomfortable with too much intimacy. this free spirit belongs to the world and feels off-balance giving his considerable energy to just one person. 

while bryce’s friends get first-class treatment , family and lovers see a different side of him: moody , brooding , anxious and neurotic. he may pick one ( and only one ) person to open up to , getting attached to the point of obsession. 

learning to accept and express his emotions would help him avoid the massive freak outs and anger flashes that come from pretending everything’s cool when it isn’t. bryce appreciates a quirky or eccentric twist , enjoying colorful characters and people with counter cultural personalities.

BIOGRAPHY

bryce atlas winslow was born into a very straight lace , play by the rules , catholic family.  his father , matteo winslow , was an italian military man and his mother , deirdre winslow , was a cold irish homemaker. matteo was every bit the ‘ man of the family ’  and bryce grew up only answering to his father. deirdre would only every answer a question with ‘ ask yer da ’ or  ‘ dija’ ask yer da ? ’

she was a mostly spineless , god fearing woman that was afraid of her own shadow and that’s what made her such a good puppet for matteo. bryce’s father was a stern , angry man that only grew angrier when drunk , no one dared put even a single toe out of line with him around. 

( TW: implied child abuse ) with bryce being the first born and only son he was expected to be perfect , from a very young age he felt the pressures of that. it was like walking on eggshells , always afraid of making a mistake or displeasing his father. he did not have the fun , happy-go-lucky innocence a child should expect of their early years ; instead for bryce winslow there was not much more than discipline , hard work , and punishment.

for the most part , bryce succeeded at being the perfect son his father expected him to be — a robot more than an actual living boy. nothing more than a machine , a machine being bred for war. 

it wasn’t until the beginning of his secondary school , when puberty and hormones began blossoming , that things became precarious. voice cracks , uneven patches of hair…. oh , and a sudden sexual desire for the same sex. 

( TW: suicide ment. ) now , the winslows were catholic - extremely devout catholics - and bryce grew very self-loathing and afraid in this confusing time. he contemplated suicide , all because ‘ homosexuality was wrong ‘ and ‘ you go straight to hell ‘ if you engage in anything associated with it. it didn’t matter how good of a son you were , because ‘ man shall not lie with man. ‘  he kept it hidden for years , he also managed not to act on it until well into the last year of secondary school. 

despite bryce’s fears and shame , when he was sixteen he fell in love for the first time. first loves can be explosive , dangerous even and this one was nothing short of just that. the boy kept his forbidden love a secret from everyone , his family and father above all others.

all good things must come to an end though or so they say , for the boys it came far sooner than later. matteo , bryce’s father , happened upon a note from the boy bryce was seeing , cian , and in said note was all sorts of information including a meeting spot. as you can imagine , matteo flew from the house in a drunken rage in search of his “ sinner “ of a son only to catch him red-handed. 

( TW: assault , child abuse ) bryce managed to save cian from his father’s wrath , taking the brunt of the attack. cian watched as bryce was beaten , begging and screaming for the man to stop , that he was killing him. the drunken bigot was turning on the younger boy when bryce told him to leave and never come back , so that is what he did. 

( TW: implied abuse ) to this day , he has never laid eyes on his young lover and that was probably for the best. after his father had tired himself out and satisfied his rage , he left his son there in the dirt and the beaten boy didn’t bother moving. 

( TW: suicidal thoughts , conversion therapy ment. ) will to live depleted , too tired to go on , pain too much to endure — he just slept there until the next morning. he was awoken with a kick of dirt in the face , his father telling him that he was being sent to a ‘’ special ’’ facility where they would get rid of his ‘’ ailment. ’’ 

( TW: conversion therapy / facility ) time melded in the facility , but he estimated nearly a year of his life was wasted away in there. resistant and defiant for most of his time there , it wasn’t until his father visited him , the one and only time . that things changed. 

( TW: suicide ment. , homophobia ) his father brought news that his mother had killed herself but this was a vicious lie , a last ditch effort to get bryce to change his ways and boy , did it work ! hardly a month later , the young man was discharged from the facility only to find his mother was indeed very much alive.

matteo up and moved his entire family to england after bryce got out of the facility. his father gave him nonsense about wanting to get away from the bad memories , starting over new , and ‘ lead not into temptation ‘ by sending him back to school with ‘ sinners ’ and ‘ sodomites. ‘ 

so , bryce finished out the remainder of his schooling in england and went straight into the forces as per his father’s wishes. sadly for him , he would never become what he so longed to be. he had just finished boot camp and life had just started to seem somewhat normal - if you can call anything the winslow’s had normal - when he lost it all.

( TW: eye injury ) the young man was honorably discharged after an accident that left him legally blind in one eye , when he returned home after his short stent in the defense forces there was no longer a place in the family for him. his father quite literally disowned him all for something he had no control over , a mere accident , but there was nothing more disappointing to matteo than a son that was ‘ kicked out ‘ of the forces.

( TW: gang ment. , human trafficking ) fast forward a year , bryce had found himself in a gang. this part of his background is the most unresolved seeing as it’s not part of his original backstory. long story short , he was involved with the gang until he was twenty three but it all became too much for him after his boss tried to involve him in human trafficking. 

( TW: gang ment. , suicide , death ) when you join a gang you don’t usually do it thinking someday you might one day retire or quit said gang , but then as you get older you realize you’re not as tough as you thought. bryce was twenty-three when his mother finally really did ‘ commit suicide ‘ , the first time his father spoke to him since he returned home from the forces was only to blame him for her death. 

( TW: death ment. , implied murder ) honestly , it was just the straw that broke the camels back. bryce wasn’t allowed at the funeral or anywhere near it , he’s almost certain his mother’s death wasn’t by her own hand or an accident but he’ll never truly know. after he was certain she was in the ground , bryce fled to america in the hopes of outrunning the gang and getting lost in the melting pot. 

once in the land of opportunity , he got his hands on the cheapest ride he could find first and just started driving. it was well after his twenty-fourth birthday , right smack in the middle of a hot ass summer in ‘06 ,  that he found himself in pleasance of all places. he never had any intention at all to grow roots there , it simply happened.  

other than that , the man busies himself with drying and preserving flowers , taking baths , working out , and playing with his dog.  he parades around like this big , tough hard ass when in reality he’s quite the domestic goofball type.

ETC.

has a dog ,  it’s a beagle named shiloh literally 

a big hobby of his is preserving flowers in his spare time , he keeps a small book of pressed flowers and plant life on him a lot of the time in the chance he comes across something he wants to preserve

can play guitar and doesn’t have a bad singing voice either

legally blind in one eye , but doesn’t wear his glasses often

has a younger sister that he does keep in contact with , but not very well ( WC ? )

a guilty pleasure of his is taking baths ; he enjoys adding bath salts , flowers , and other so-called ‘ feminine ‘ products like bath bombs , etc. to them and honestly takes one nearly every day

he was born and raised mostly in dublin , ireland and has a thick accent that only gets thicker when intoxicated or angry. he does use a lot of uncommon terminology to american’s ( yes , i own the feckin’ book of everything irish. . . it’s that serious ) but i’ll lyk in the tags what it means unless i forget

@phqextras​

[taz-writes]

What's Violet like (I LIVE for gorgeous and deadly fairies)? Are she and Lavender really close? What powers does she possess exactly??? What's her arc throughout the series?? Also, in terms of character rankings, who is your second main character, Aelia or Violet?? Sorry for the bombard of questions, I just really love Violet! (also, I'm pretty sure you've answered this before but I can't find it anymore, what's her sexuality??)

thank you for the questions!!! I love Violet so much, I consider her one of my best characters just because of how many layers she’s grown for herself. Her story is really close to my heart. 

Shortest answer first, I don’t think either Aelia or Violet is more important? They serve different roles in the story by nature, and they both have their places. Which one is the secondary “main” character depends a lot on which part of the story you’re looking at. In book 1, Vi’s actually more of an antagonist than a hero. She’s mean. Aelia’s a tertiary lead, because she can’t physically contribute to the plot, she has to do everything through long-distance communications. Violet is the secondary protagonist in book 2, where she does the bulk of her character growth. Aelia’s the secondary protagonist in book 3, which is all about her arc. In book 4, they’re about equal, but Aelia’s more relevant to Sayara’s plot. 

As for what Violet’s like, well. She’s a born and bred tsundere. She cares a lot about her family and friends, she’s very defensive of them, but if you try to get close to her emotionally then she will viciously defend herself as well. She also refuses to admit when she cares about people most of the time.... she desperately wants a white knight romance where she’ll get swept off her feet and whisked off into the sunset, but at this rate, she’s too cranky for that to ever happen. She’s a very private person, to the point where even the people she cares most about don’t always know what’s going on inside her head. She masks all her ‘softer’ personality traits under a sharp pointy facade of responsibility and protection, she considers it her duty to be the heiress and be the protector of the family so that nobody else she loves has to. 

Violet and Lavender are very close. Vi tries to pull her tsundere act on Lavender constantly, but Lavender never buys it, and they know each other well enough that she never will. They share a psychic link, so they feel each other’s emotions and sometimes also each other’s physical pain. They definitely know when the other one is hurt. Despite this, after certain events in book 1, Violet shuts herself down and locks Lavender out of her thoughts for a while. She’s really depressed, and she’s one of those people who self-isolates a lot by instinct, so Lavender doesn’t know as much of what’s going on as she used to. 

-Vi’s a psychic! She specializes in the darker ‘attack’ side of mental magic. She can twist someone else’s mind and cause excruciating pain, she can read minds, she can keep herself from being read. She teleports very well even in book 1, she also has impressive telekinesis. Violet can do mind control. This is intimidating. The rules for mind control in Feilan are pretty strict--you must have eye contact to attempt control, the ball is always in the defender’s court and you must navigate their mind in order to dominate it, if eye contact breaks then the link is weakened and it’s easy to lose control, etc--but Vi knows how to use it. Plus, she’s theoretically capable of mirages and misleading literal Illusion magic, but she hasn’t trained this area of magic as thoroughly and doesn’t use it often. 

Violet’s primary magical element is Darkness, despite her favorite abilities being Illusion-based, so she can access some Dark magic too. This manifests as a cloud of shadow that won’t be easily pierced by Light magic or other means, or as a move I’ve nicknamed ‘air shatter’ which literally creates a controlled black hole and destroys everything near it. These are mostly book 3 abilities, which develop after her ninth or tenth evolution. 

Later on in the series, she also develops psychic foresight, which is exactly what it sounds like. She has the limited ability to (involuntarily) see bits and pieces of the future as defined by various decisions. These flashes are not binding truth, but they can act as guides, suggestions, or warnings. 

Upon her final evolutions, Violet develops into an animaris, which is a specific type of primary-Dark secondary-Illusion psychic with some cool unique abilities! She’ll be able to manipulate sound as well as vision, and use a form of mind control that’s more like puppeteering where she doesn’t need eye contact. The puppeteering magic is super scary, and very OP, and won’t manifest in time to be relevant to canon. It’s worth pointing out, though! I think it’s neat. 

-Violet’s canon arc is about cracking her shell and defrosting her bad attitude. She’s a secondary antagonist slash rival archetype for Sayara in book 1, but her overall series role is the lancer. Her serious attitude and dark outlook on life contrast Sayara’s optimism and brightness, and where Sayara wants to be responsible but doesn’t know how, Violet knows exactly how and never asked for this. They learn a lot from each other. 

See, Violet’s depressed, but Violet has worked herself into a mental state where she’s firmly convinced that she has no other option. She actively resists trying to get better and learning to cope with her PTSD because she believes it’s a waste of time, and she’s made herself into a martyr figure inside her head. She’s actually really toxic to be around in the long term, her adamant refusal to solve her own problems is ripping her family apart. She insists that she does everything to protect her sisters, and she really genuinely means that, but she also subconsciously expects them to fix her when she’s broken and deal with her mental issues without ever questioning them. She’s built up an image of what her family is in her head, and that’s what she sticks with, even as they grow and change and defy what Violet’s preconceptions of them are. She puts a lot of weight on Aelia in particular, because she has a single-minded obsession with Elli’s wellbeing, and she perceives Aelia’s desire for independence as some kind of slight against her. In her mind, when Aelia says “I need breathing room,” it actually means “I hate you and I don’t want your help and I’m going to let myself get killed out of spite.” When Aelia says “you should go see a therapist,” Violet hears “you’re weak and pathetic and can’t fulfill your job and responsibilities to our family.”  It’s bad. 

Over the series, Vi learns to calm down a little and trust that her family can handle themselves. The hair-trigger temper and instinctual distrust of literally everyone is the first thing to go--she has to accept that sometimes she doesn’t have access to the bigger picture, and she needs to wait for evidence before lashing out. She has to develop enough to accept Sayara’s apology in book 2 after Sayara says some fucked up shit, she has to develop enough to learn that not everyone is out to get her. Moving forward in the series, she’s still dealing with the anger issues, but she also starts learning to actually manage her mental health. Her depression/anxiety/PTSD/etc is screwing over her whole family, and that’s a serious problem, and that’s what she has to solve in the latter half of the series. By the end of book 4 she does give in and go see a fucking therapist for her problems. Everyone is very proud of her.

-Sadly, Vi is the token het in the cast, but I do have a funny story about how that happened. What with the psychic link between Violet and Lavender, it wasn’t easy! 

So the twins have this empathetic link, and they feel each other’s emotions, and the closer they are physically the stronger that bond is. As little kids, they spent a LOT of time together, and when they started having dumb little puppy crushes they couldn’t tell whose feelings were whose. The twins knew one of them liked boys and the other liked girls, so at first they assumed they were both straight b/c this was back when everyone thought Vi was a boy. But then they started wondering, because they weren’t really sure, Violet in particular was super insecure. There was some awkward 10-year-old flirting, everyone felt weird about everything, nobody knew what was going on. The twins were always inseparable. And then Vi came out, and things got even MORE confusing, because they started pretending they were identical, and it worked so well that no one could tell the two apart--even some of their love interests. And then they went on a summer trip overseas together and got involved in an Actual Preteen Love Dodecahedron... 

They didn’t actually figure out whose orientation was whose until they turned 15 and Lavender went on a study trip to a medical school in the south, so suddenly they were far enough apart to tell the difference. Lavender’s the gay one, Violet’s the straight one, it’s simple enough but it took them years and years to find out. Pro tips for parents: when your psychic kids start having soap opera level romantic drama, maybe get them to spend time by themselves for a bit? It might solve some things!

[trickstermelon]

Anything and Everything u got mdude!

Oh boy that’s A Lot and it’s getting late so I’ll go Thomas centric— and specifically writhing ball of molten angst Thomas centric relating to that meme

- Both Trey and Thomas have extreme abandonment/self worth issues, obviously due to their family being torn apart at a pretty important developmental age

- while trey coped with his pain by becoming quiet and internalized, never lashing out or disobeying because he blamed himself and thought being a perfect child would reunite their family, Thomas became… obsessive

-he was old enough to realize that it wasn’t their fault for their fathers mistakes/disappearance. So his pain became anger, with a toxic combination of lack of self confidence turned into a Narcissistic complex

-his goals became only to protect the only family he had left— the only one he still considered his real family anyways, because what kind of family throws their own away?

- He treasures Trey like he would any of his dolls, he loves him with all his heart legitimately, but there were def moments early on when Trey would become scared of how controlling Thomas could be when other aspects of his life were beyond his control

- On to the development of his obsession for Chris. Their father was always at work, always distant— Chris filled that role for them, was the one who took care of their day to day needs.

- When they’re brought back together and are trying to reconnect the jagged puzzle pieces to assume any form of normalcy with their dad being an demon possessed child, Thomas unconsciously finds that his rage at their mistakes is channeled into something else. Something uncomfortable but demanding and punishing to them both.

- Thomas wants to love Chris again. He was never close to his father, but Chris he looked up to and trusted and adored with all his heart. He wants that back but there’s still so much pain. Every time they’re together and Chris doesn’t give him the affection he needs, he gets furious— but he isn’t the type for introspection, he misinterprets his own feelings as those of a passionate love rather than acknowledging that he’s still raw over past wounds.

- That must be what it is— he preens at Chris’s touch, he becomes jealous when Chris’s gaze focuses on anyone other than himself, he constantly wants to be by his side, finding any excuse to cling to him or pester him just to hold a conversation

- Meanwhile poor Trey has found that Thomas is no longer hanging out with him as much anymore, and internalizes it but is smart enough to realize and get a handle on his own problems- Chris— V— knows this Thomas— IV— is far from the carefree bratty child he used to be, but doesn’t realize exactly what’s the issue until Thomas kisses him one night when he’s half asleep in the lab

- Chris does Not Fuckin Condone this, but is frankly still too much of a coward to put his foot down. He rationalizes that Thomas meant to kiss his cheek, the angle was odd, maybe he slipped. He doesn’t let himself process Thomas’s unnaturally gleeful, victorious grin as he pushes past him to his proper bed.

- Thomas gets more daring after that, pushing his limits on what he can do, what he can get Chris to do. They’re always brushed off as accidents— Chris hoping they truly are, Thomas happily using the cover up

- Chris finally puts an end to it when Thomas creeps into his room when everyone else is asleep and forcibly kisses him, undeniably not a kiss of a brother.

- He gets him away and cornered, Thomas’s panic becoming a still hopeful attempt at seduction, then rage, and finally a break down.

- Chris has a headache - Thomas has more issues to sort through - With a lot of time and therapy they manage root out the issue and it becomes one very very awkward inside joke

- Anyways this version Thomas is a Right Nasty Gross Boy and needs a fuckin therapist and maybe a juice box. Also Trey needs to get some fresh air away from these creeps he can be part of the Tsukumo household now

- I’m so sorry

[your-brother-crutchie]

Prosopagnosic

Race has been hiding his Prosopagnosia for three years but it just keeps getting harder. 

So, I took inspiration from Holding Up the Universe for this but, at the same time, I only took the Prosopagnosia (because I didn’t know about it before). It’s been a long time since I read that book and I didn’t like it much so the ideas are my own.

Race kept his head down on the way through the school hall. It had been three years and, as of one week ago, Race had finally got a diagnosis. After falling from the gangway of Medda’s theatre, Race had managed to knock something in his brain a little out of whack. He struggled to recognise people, not understanding how all of their features came together to form a face that he should be able to distinguish straight away.

He smiled at everyone he passed, waving occasionally as he tried to keep on everyone’s good sides. Race’s number one rule was to be passively friendly to anyone. Make no enemies and you can avoid most of the issues.

“Hey, Race!” 

This was the worst situation. People who used his nickname tended to be his friends but, sometimes, other kids that he knew from classes would call out to him when they passed. Race felt time running in slow motion as he analysed the person walking up to him.

Tall. Dark hair. Green eyes. Nose.

“I heard you were out yesterday afternoon because of a doctor’s appointment. How are you?” Davey smiled, pausing outside his locker to collect his things as Race came to rest beside him.

He laughed, suddenly nervous as he realised that he’d gone three years, struggling through and managing not to tell any of his friends that he had an issue. Now that he had a name for it, Race should probably let people know but, suddenly, he was worried that people would still laugh at him for it.

Race gulped, considering his options before settling with, “Yeah, good. I’m fine.”

When he turned down the hall, Race smiled when he saw Crutchie heading towards them. Crutchie was the only person that Race could pick out straight away because of his crutch. He had to be careful, however, because he almost got incredibly confused when Specs came in on crutches one morning.

“Race, Davey, have you seen Jack? I need him to paint some last minute set pieces.” Crutchie seemed desperate, he was glancing around quickly, nodding politely to pretty much everyone as he scanned the crowd. He turned back to the boys, seeing Race shaking his head and laughing slightly, “Race, you never know where anyone is. I swear, it’s like you don’t even know who we are half the time!”

Laughing uncomfortably, Race nodded before a pair of hands covered his eyes. He jumped about a mile, trying to shake them off before settling when the person behind him laughed, “Guess who.” He knew that his friends didn’t know what was wrong with him but Race couldn’t help but feel like this was just an unnecessary taunt.

“It’s not Jack because Crutchie would have pounced on him by now. It’s not Specs or Romeo because they come as a double act and I haven’t heard Romeo’s annoying laugh yet. It’s not Jojo because he has more sense than to accost someone in the hallway and it’s not Darcy because he’s usually in the library about now. Albert was a possibility but Albert smells like bubblegum all the time and you have the distinct scent of Lynx so, either you’ve been fucking Spot Conlon or you’re the King of Brooklyn himself.”

When he had to blink against the harsh, fluorescent lights, Race knew he’d done well, “Nice work, Pasta, I’m impressed. Remember though, there’s only one spot in my bed and it’s got your name on it.” Race turned around to see Spot …

Short. Angry. Tooth gap. Lynx.

… smirking at him. 

Spot and Race were not involved. They were friends and that was all. Spot’s favourite joke, however, was to insinuate that there could be a chance between them. It was cruel and it was mean but Spot didn’t know that Race was gay so what could he expect? Or that Race was a little bit obsessed with the Brooklyn boy. Just a little bit though. It wasn’t like he was completely head-over-heels for this boy who would probably never even look at him like that.

“In your dreams, Brooklyn.” Race smiled, leaning back against the lockers as Spot leaned forwards with a grin. He couldn’t help but have to flick his eyes away to avoid following slightly when Spot stepped back again.

Rolling his eyes, Davey apologised to Crutchie that he couldn’t help him either before watching him leave, only turning back to Spot and Race when Crutchie had turned the corner. Davey wasn’t blind, he was aware of Race’s potential feelings, they were what made their interactions painful to watch, “I have to head to English now. I’ll see you two at the basketball court later?”

Their friend group always met at the basketball court when school ended. It had benches in the shade for whilst they waited for everyone to turn up and, for those that wanted to, they could have intense mini basketball matches. Race used to love basketball. He was really good at it, as well. Unfortunately, since he’d hit his head, he couldn’t play. The split second you got to decide whether you wanted to pass or not wasn’t quite long enough for him to figure out who the person standing to his right was or whether or not they were on his team.

When Spot and Race nodded, Davey smiled, closed his locker and went on his way to English with his arms full of books that weren’t always particularly necessary. The two boys watched him go, neither quite understanding why you would take more supplies than you needed. Race showed up to lessons with a pen and that was all. Occasionally, he took a pencil instead.

Race had been let out of class early and was dribbling a basketball around the court as he waited for his friends to be let out. He smiled, feeling the roughness of the ball under his fingers before shooting and watching the ball sink easily through the hoop. He shot again and again, scoring every time, before running forward for a layup, slamming the ball into the hoop and hanging for a moment before dropping to the ground and collecting the ball.

“Jesus Christ, Pasta, you’re bloody good! I want you on my team today.” Race jumped as he swung around, seeing someone standing and watching him, clapping as they stepped onto the court.

Lynx.

Shaking his head quickly, Race let the ball drop to the ground and bounce away from him, cowering from the idea of having to take part in the match when the others showed up, “No, I- no. I don’t play basketball.” He watched tentatively as Spot grabbed the ball, bouncing it a couple of times before passing it to Race and nodding as his instincts quickly brought his hands up to catch it.

As Spot chuckled, he flicked his eyebrows up and gestured for Race to pass it back, “I think you do.” Race and Spot passed the ball between them for a few minutes, showing off with trick shots and technical dribbling.

When more of their friends started appearing, Race checked them off one-by-one in his head. Albert, Finch, Darcy, Buttons, Jojo, Katherine, Jack, Davey, Sarah, Crutchie, Specs, Romeo, Elmer, and Smalls. Teams were made on the go, with Albert, Jojo, and Smalls joining Spot and Race to play against, Finch, Katherine, Jack, Sarah, and Elmer.

As the game got underway, Race tried to avoid the ball as much as possible as Spot and Smalls led the team. He ignored the funny looks from Spot as he flinched back from the ball when it was passed to him, freezing and panicking when he caught it before throwing it to Elmer, despite Elmer being on the other team. 

He would block Jojo instead of Elmer but no one quite understood why. Whenever Race was near the net, he scored perfectly. The problem was that he kept passing to the other team so that they could score too. Eventually, Spot pulled him away in a timeout and made him look at him, “Hey? What’s going on? You distracted or something?” Race simply cleared his throat as he pulled away from Spot, turning to see all of his friends watching them before cringing towards Spot again for protection.

“I’m just not good at basketball. I forget who’s on the teams.” Poking his head out and seeing that no one was watching anymore, Race took a step back as his shoulders sagged.

Spot laid a hand on Race’s shoulder to keep him in place as he stepped after him, “If you still can’t remember that we have Jojo and not Elmer then maybe you should get that checked, Race? I’m only worried about you.” He watched Race’s eyes, obviously trying to watch for a slip up as Race simply stared back in defiance.

Tensing his shoulders and pushing Spot away slightly, Race brought his posture as tall as possible to tower over the Brooklyn boy with a snarl lingering on his lips, “I’m fine! I told you, I just don’t play basketball! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I forgot something from my locker.” Race shoved Spot out of his way as he barged passed, ignoring the confused stares and whispers from his friends, ones he couldn’t be bothered to identify for that split second.

As he stalked down the corridors, anger bubbling behind his eyes, Race heard an, “Oi, Higgins!” over his shoulder. ‘Higgins’ was common for his friends. He wouldn’t have been surprised by, ‘oi,’ either, and the tone, although harsh, wasn’t particularly out of character for Spot or Finch. So, Race turned around and walked closer, ready to confront them about following him.

Big mistake.

Feeling a shove on his shoulder, Race furrowed his eyebrows. The boys stood in front of him were identical, or at least, Race thought they were. 

Dark hair. Twins. ???

There was a part of Race that wondered whether it could be Jojo and Darcy but those boys were too gentle. They wouldn’t be shoving him around and snarling at him. However, Race didn’t want to just punch them incase it was two of his friends.

“We heard you’ve been sniffing around our sister.”

So they were definitely brothers but they weren’t Jojo and Darcy. Those two didn’t have a sister. They definitely weren’t any of his friends because no one cared anymore, Jack had dated basically everyone anyway, and Race hadn’t met any of their sisters. Although Race was very gay, he also wasn’t out so the rumour wasn’t too far-fetched but it did mean that he had absolutely no idea which female they were referring to since he wasn’t actually at all interested in any.

Clearing his throat gently, Race raised his hands between them to show that he was innocent before opening his mouth and potentially making a fool out of himself, “Look, boys, you’re going to have to be more specific.” Yep, he managed to make a fool out of himself.

A fist was cracking against Race’s cheek before he even saw it coming. It sent him spiralling, smacking against the floor before stretching his jaw out painfully as he tried to clamber to his feet. However, hands pushed him down again, sending him back to the floor before he felt feet landing blows on his side. Over and over again.

“Hey, Oscar, Morris! Clear off!” The Delancey brothers, not twins after all, ran when they heard someone coming down the corridor. Race immediately tried to scramble to his feet, coughing and wincing as he felt his bruises burning as they formed.

Arms suddenly came to help him but Race shoved them off quickly, trying not to show his pain as he stood up straight and disregarded the person who’d helped him immediately. All of his friends were outside so it couldn’t be any of them, “Look, thanks, mate, but I’ve got it, okay? I’ve got to get back to my friends.” He shrugged the boy away, regarding him with hostility to scare him but finding him just watching him instead, “What?”

The boy seemed to take a step back, not quite understanding what was happening as Race just looked at him blankly, “Race, it’s Jack. Did you hit your head or something?” Race’s eyes flared as he immediately took in Jack’s face, piecing together his features for the first time.

Dark hair. Flat cap. Jawline. Paint splatters.

Race backed away, realising that he probably couldn’t keep hiding anymore. It wasn’t like Jack was going to keep this to himself. He was the kind of person who asked other people what to do about situations that he didn’t understand.

Sighing, Race felt his back hitting the lockers and sank down to the floor, “Get Spot.” He dropped his head into his hands, knowing that Jack would probably bring Crutchie and Davey as well. Honestly, that was better. As few times as Race had to explain this as possible was a lot more preferable. 

When Jack returned with Crutchie, Davey, and Spot, Race gestured for them to join him and immediately leaned against Spot, who sat next to him. Race mulled it over for a few moments, thinking about how he could say this without offending them.

Your faces aren’t memorable enough for me.

“Okay, um. For three years now I’ve had real trouble being able to put faces to names- as in, regardless of how long I’ve known you. Like, instead, I have to manually put together your distinguishing features and work it out. It just takes me looking away to lose you again and, even though logic tells me it’s still the same person when I blink, I can’t see that. I actually went to the doctor a lot last week and they’ve- um. They’ve diagnosed me with Prosopagnosia, which is  the thing that I thought it was.”

Within seconds, Davey was googling and handing his phone around to the other boys as Race sat in silence, waiting for them to say something.

“After you fell from the gangway … Wait, so, if we’re not in front of you, you don’t know what we look like?” Jack asked hesitantly, handing the phone to Spot who was reading quickly, and looked up to Race.

Swallowing, Race nodded carefully before pausing to think about it, “Well, I know that Spot has a gap between his teeth and smells like Lynx and I know that Davey has a strong nose and that you’ve usually got paint on your face but I can’t picture it. You’re easy, Crutch, but I did get confused when Specs broke his leg.”

Crutchie smiled softly, pulling Race into his side when he saw that he had tears quivering behind his eyes, “It’s okay, Race. We’re not going to stop loving you for something you can’t help.” He hugged the Italian boy, accepting the phone from Spot and nudging Race upright and towards him.

When Race looked towards Spot, he saw the boy watching him carefully, offering his arms for Race to fall into, “Race, I think you’re perfect, okay? Were you mixing up Jojo and Elmer on the basketball court?”

Nodding shamefully, Race hid his head in the crook of Spot’s neck as he struggled against tears. He’d been so worried about this for three whole years, hiding desperately as best as he could, and here were some of his best friends telling him that they loved him anyway, “I didn’t have enough time between passes.” Race felt Spot’s hand on the back of his head, slowly drifting through his curls before pulling him away gently.

“Hey, Race? Nobody here is shaming you for this.” Spot stared into Race’s eyes until the boy nodded with him, finally clicking that he was okay. When Race closed his eyes to sigh deeply, he opened them again to find that Spot’s gaze had fallen to below his nose. He snapped back upwards, however, and Race took it as him simply breaking eye contact for a second, “We all love you.”

[lightdark18-blog]

Fairy Tail: Non In-Universe Questions

Was Anna?Was Zervis planned? Was Zeref always planned to be completely evil?So @ac-fairytail posted some Fairy Tail non in-universe questions (all credit goes to her) and I figured: “Maybe I could attempt to honestly answer these questions and reverse-engineer Mashima’s thought process!” Of course, no sane person would ever attempt this, but here I am, so...

WARNING: Spoilers for the entire Fairy Tail manga.

Did Mashima base Stardresses off of Bravely Default’s Conjurerclass? Or was it Dresspheres? Or both?

Never played Bravely Default or Final Fantasy X-2 (even though they’re on my list of games to play), but if I had to guess after a quick wiki search, it would be Dresspheres. Problem is that the Stardresses are far less interesting, balanced, or explained. Oh well; Mashima trying to replicate a franchise with the writing quality of Final Fantasy is like an ant poking a dinosaur with a stick.

Was he always planning the time travel plot? If so, why did Erik refer to second gen dragon slayers as a “new” generation? There haven’t been dragons for centuries.

Considering that the “dragons vanished seven years ago” plot-point was established at the beginning of the series and further cemented by Natsu meeting Gajeel, I’m guessing he was planning to include time travel once he decided to continue the series past Tower of Heaven. 

As for Erik, I’m guessing that he just declared himself as second-gen because a) he heard about Natsu and Gajeel as traditional dragon slayers from the Fairy Tail-Phantom Lord war (which caused ripples across Fiore) and assumed himself to be superior because dragon lacrima were invented after the age of dragons, and b) he never heard of Sting or Rogue.

If Irene was always planned to be Queen of the Dragons, why did he barely integrate Dragnof Kingdom into anything? And why didn’t Acno realize?

I think that once Mashima created Irene’s concept, he tried to integrate her into the stories of the Dragon King Festival, but failed to create anything even remotely interesting or new, so he just quickly scrapped together a kingdom and called it a day. Yes, it’s infuriating.

As for Acno, well...he’s Acno. He don’t give two flying fucks about anything.

Was Natsu always planned to be END? Why is there no foreshadowing for it prior to the Tartaros arc?

When Zeref mentioned that Natsu specifically couldn’t kill him back in Tenrou, he was alluding to an ability that Natsu would gain in the future to beat Zeref. However, when Mashima realized that nakama bullshit wasn’t a valid ability (yeah, he went back on that in Alvarez, whatever), he solidified this ability in the form of END around Tartaros. So yeah, I would refer to Zeref’s line in Tenrou as “shot-in-the-dark” foreshadowing.

Was Zeref always planned to be completely evil? If so, why was he established as sympathetic in his introductory arc? Was this bad writing on Mashima’s end?

See, this is what really intrigued me about Zeref in Tenrou. He was established as sympathetic, but he couldn’t remain passive because that would kill people. He was FORCED to be malicious and completely evil if he ever came into contact with people until he could find someone that could kill him because that is the nature of his curse. For him, it was better to intentionally than unintentionally kill if the person or life were to die anyway. It’s why I really fell in love with him as an antagonist.

However, what is bad writing on Mashima’s end is how completely Zeref flipped to Ruthless Big Bad in Alvarez. Him being “excited” about his battle with Natsu is inexcusably inconsistent writing, and him gaining Fairy Heart just to rewrite time for his own selfish reasons should’ve activated his Death Magic on the spot because of his optimism towards a life where he won’t kill. Plus, his loss due to nakama bullshit.

Was Zervis planned?

As much as I hate to admit it, probably. The light and dark love relationship is about as cliche as you can get, and Mashima is certainly not one to dodge cliches or subvert tropes in his writing.

Was Anna?

Hell no. However, I did think that Layla was planned. When Hades was ranting about primordial magic to Team Natsu during Tenrou, Lucy, in thought, said, “I think I’ve heard of this primordial magic somewhere. Mom?” Even though Zeref had no interest in primordial magic (as proven in him killing Hades in anger), Eclipse and the Heartfilias did. Hence, I assumed that Layla would play a huge role in the final arc of the series. Boy, was I naive and optimistic.

Was Clear Heart made so OP because Mashima knew he’d fucked up managing Requip?

No. Because fanservice. Duh. Although, I did think that Clear Heart was perfectly balanced in her fight against Azuma, with her magic power bring directly converted to her Crimson Sakura blade. Any other use just feels unnecessary.

Why did Erza never use Nakagami Armour again? Too OP?

Mashima’s reason: huge audience backlash from its magic-breaking abilities and pulled-out-of-its-ass reveal. Erza’s reason: she..doesn’t want to use it because of its magic draining properties???

Why introduce the bunny armour?

The bunny armor isn’t the armor Mashima introduced that made me mad. The Seduction Armor is. Seriously, isn’t the whole point of seducing a man to take off clothes? Does that even make it armor? At least the bunny armor is cute and cosplay-ish, which fits with Erza’s happier, more playful side we see of her outside of fights; the Seduction Armor is just flat-out nonsensical.

Why did Mashima specifically want 12 Spriggans? There was apparently a reason for this, but Mashima never revealed what it was.

Originally, he wanted six and Zeref to be the seventh member, since Mashima is obsessed with the number seven. However, I think that he wanted to get a few character concepts out before he copped out of the series, and he had too many to just have six. Thus, he probably got up to nine or ten, but then he remembered that Tartaros and Avatar had the same amount of members, so he just said “fuck it” and moved the number to twelve. This would explain why Invel and Bloodman were shoehorned in with no original magic whatsoever; Mashima just threw them in to get the number to twelve.

Were Lisanna and Loke sidelined because they were threats to NaLu, or because Mashima couldn’t be bothered writing them?

Both. The first goes without explaining. However, I have theories on why Mashima didn’t bother to write either of them.

Lisanna: Mashima’s absurd obsession with redemption arcs, nakama bullshit, and fake-out deaths prove to me that he follows by the “heroes can’t die” code of writing, something which I hope no mature, aspiring writer follows. Thus, he brought Lisanna back into the story to follow this code and thought, “Maybe I could do something with her later.” Turns out he couldn’t think of anything when he was developing each new arc. The closest we ever came to Lisanna getting in the spotlight (besides that god-awful scene from Tartaros) was when Azuma “killed” Mira. Originally, as much as I like Mira, I would’ve loved to Lisanna fill in Mira’s shoes and dedicate herself to become a stronger person because of the death of her sister. But no, Mashima didn’t have the balls to really kill Mira and the Nalu shippers were clawing at his door, so she ended up as a void of nothingness.

Loke: Once his arc was done, Mashima wanted to develop the rest of the Zodiac Spirits. Not that he really did, but he didn’t want to single out Loke too much, as much as I like Lolu. However, Loke being the key that Lucy sacrificed rather than Aquarius would have worked a lot better in the grand sense of the narrative, and would’ve really hammered in a new dimension to Lucy’s potential character arc in Alvarez. So much failed potential, Mashima. So much.

Why did Mashima skip to having Mira being fine using her Satan Souls all of a sudden in the Tenrou arc?

Because since the cause of Mira’s initial stress and reluctance has been completely retconned by the narrative, she’s perfectly able to go all out again, guys! I mean, it’s not like real-life victims of PTSD still suffer for years and years on end even with achieving social and financial success, getting married, and having children, right? RIGHT!?

Seriously, fuck Mashima.

If Key of the Starry Skies and Eclipse Celestial Spirits are canon, why weren’t they just written into the manga?

Because Mashima didn’t care enough about these arcs; A-1 just pitched the filler arcs to him and said, “this is what we’re gonna do, kay?” and he was like, “Oh, these are cool. Canon.” He couldn’t be bothered to write them because he was ready to launch into GMG and Tartaros, respectively. Also, while Eclipse Celestial Spirits works well into the show’s canon, Key of the Starry Skies doesn’t. GMG was effective in setting up the future of the series after the timeskip and NEEDED to happen right after it (doesn’t make the arc necessarily good, though). Plus, the Neo Oracion Seis feels unnecessary since they canonically are released from prison in Tartaros.

Why completely change what Wendy’s capable of in the last arc? Possession? Really?

Problem is, though, her arc was finished the moment Doranbolt saved her and Carla from Face. Her facing Sherria proved that she is willing to fight for her guild regardless of her moral issues with fighting, her going Dragon Force proved that she has gained the experience to become a tactical and efficient fighter, and her resolve to be with Carla and protect the people she loves by choosing to die when Face is about to self-destruct solidifies her developing outgoingness with the new people that she loves. As a character, her arc was concluded before Alvarez began. In my opinion, she wasn’t capable of anything more in Alvarez.

As for the possession, it’s infuriating because of the pedophilia implications, not ruining Wendy as a character. I see possession as a tool for character growth only if the possessed person is able to grow in strength and become a stronger person to overcome the weakness that allowed them to become possessed. Take Aoi Zaizen from Yu-Gi-Oh VRAINS. I really hope that her upcoming character arc will be based around the possession that corrupted her in her very first on-screen duel and how she can overcome the weakness that the Knights of Hanoi exposed from her. Wendy’s possession...did not have that potential. Once Irene left her body, Wendy went right back to her fighting as usual and didn’t seem bothered by the possession. Why? Because her arc was finished and the show was nearing its end anyway. You can be mad about that, and I won’t blame you, but any further growth from Wendy would feel redundant in my opinion.

Was he planning on doing an arc about gods?

Yep. I have a theory that Avatar was supposed to be his “god” arc, but I’ll talk more about that later.

Was it really Ankhseram that cursed Zeref?

I...guess? Mashima never introduced him as a character, but I guess he can still exist. Makes Mashima a bad writer, but it doesn’t make Ankhseram invalid.

Why bring Rogue’s shadow back as a minor plot point in Avatar? He had no intention of addressing it in Alvarez.

Okay, in Mashima’s hardly-deserved defense, Alvarez would not have been the best time to discuss Rogue’s shadow; to me, Avatar was a good point to address it because it was our first full arc with Devil Slayer Gray. To me, it makes sense that Rogue’s shadow would possess him after the dragons emerge through the Eclipse Gate and Gray would become easily corrupted by Devil Slayer Magic without his friends for support (since they’re dead in the alternate timeline, though that raises the question of does Tartaros still exist there). There was really no better time to address it.

Did he give up after Tartaros?

Well, the anime gave up after GMG, that’s for sure. For Mashima, I’d say it was in the middle of writing Avatar. I think that he was planning on fleshing out Avatar as a cult, since their existence was the whole reason that Hades formed Grimoire Heart and “awakened” Zeref’s malicious heart. In addition, since they had enough influence to convince countless wizards that Zeref could be revived with keys and/or Towers of Heaven, they would have the influence to interact with gods and God Slayers. As a writer, Mashima could’ve killed two birds with one stone and be ready to tackle Zeref’s big final arc. What probably actually happened was him waking up after a drunken tirade and realizing that his series was being more and more ridiculed for its poor writing decisions, his fanbase was becoming one of the most toxic in all of anime, and he was just running out of ideas. He questioned every life choice he ever made, decided to trash the remainder of Fairy Tail just to start over with a new work, burned through the rest of Avatar, and threw Alvarez together haphazardly just to prevent himself thinking about potential endgames any longer.

Thank you again to @ac-fairytail for these questions. The channel’s all about Fairy Tail critique, analysis, and salt; go there if you’re interested in that stuff. It really pains me to see Fairy Tail crashing and burning towards the end, but for what it was worth, I enjoyed it. It’ll be harder for me to go back and enjoy it because of my investment in much better shonen manga, such as HxH, JoJo, and YYH, but it holds a lot of memories for teenage me, and I’ll certainly treasure them. 

Also thanks to Mashima for teaching me what NOT to do as a screenwriter. Helps a lot.

[sweetcloverheart]

Alrighty I��m gonna ramble about a DekuBaku roleswap because I have ideas and I almost never hear about OFA!Bakugo unless it’s a Villian!Deku AU so lets go (Probably ooc for a lot of characters and things so apologies) -

So yeah in this AU Katsuki is the one who’s quirkless

Which means a lot of bullying

Especially from kids who had at that point been practically worshiping the ground he walked on and are now basically treating him like an untouchable kids are mean

Which also means a very angry and pissed off kid Katsuki dealing with all this the only way how - being pissed at everyone and lots of yelling

But he’ll be damned if it let’s being quirkless get in the way of him becoming the number one hero

Basically, If Izuku’s desire to be a hero is fueled by pure, plain determination, Katsuki’s is fueled by pure, unadulterated spite

“Why are you trying so hard to be a hero?” “Cause fuck’em, that’s why.”

Beside’s if All Might can never lose to villains, than why should Katsuki lose to his quirklessness? Heroes never lose and neither does Bakugou.

Speaking of Izuku, his quirk takes a pretty long time to actually manifest (A whole year after his entire class developed their own), so he relatively stays in the same boat as Bakugou until a certain point

Even after Katsuki’s quirkless status was revealed, Izuku has not only stuck with him but actively stood up for him (I refuse to believe Izuku would EVER pull the stuff Katsuki did in canon if their roles were swapped. He would stick by him no matter what and he would defend his right to be a hero even if he got a punch in the face (from Bakugou) for it), 

But aside from that the initial relationship remained like it did in canon (with Izuku constantly following after Katsuki and Katsuki constantly being seemingly “better” than Izuku at everything). There’s still some tension though because the only thing squarely keeping Izuku under Katsuki and still his friend socially is this and the fact his quirk hasn’t manifested yet, and he knows it.

This is not helped by Izuku obsession with quirks either

The forrest scene is precisely where the Bakudeku friendship overturns as it’s at the moment Katsuki falls off the log that Izuku’s quirk manifests (I like to think if Izuku ever had a quirk, he’d inherit Inko’s), with him accidentally using it to try and save him

This sets Bakugou off, not just because Izuku saved him, with a quirk, but because despite now having a quirk, Izuku’s behavior hasn’t change. He’s still trying to help him; and Bakugo can’t understand why.

Especially since the other kids who were supposedly Bakugou’s “friends” up and left the moment Bakugou wasn’t worth something for them to follow anymore. 

Which leads Bakugou (with a year’s worth of bullying, societal conditioning, and questioning Izuku’s sincerity) coming to the (incorrect) conclusion that now that his quirk has manifested, he will eventually leave, joining the “winners” while Bakugou is left behind. Izuku is capable of standing above him now and has no reason to stay with a “loser”

And it particularly stings because Izuku is his friend supposed to be a “loser” too - the kid who can’t use “big kid” kanjis, who tries to skip stones but they just sink in the water, who can’t bounce balls as high he can, and constantly trails after Bakugou talking about how cool and amazing he is. Someone like that developing the power you’re told you’re never going to develop ever would maybe sting a little for a little kid.  

For the first time since hearing he was quirkless, Bakugou feels like he has “lost”. And we all know how Pre-character development Bakugou feels about losing. 

It ends as you expect - Bakugou ends his friendship with Izuku and takes every opportunity to fight him and prove himself better and has warped it around his desire to be a hero as well. He is determined to “beat” Izuku no matter what.

Meanwhile, Izuku’s best friend hates him now and he can’t understand what he did wrong. He does try to fix things, and he still tries to help out Katsuki when the bullying gets worse

Which weirdly eggs Bakugou on more for whatever reason.

Years pass. Enter: the slime incident

I imagine while he now lacks the status necessary for the teachers/adults in his life (outside of his parents) to enable the behavior that gave us Chapter1!Bakugou, all the bullying/passive agressive comments give Bakugou a lot of anger issues that he doesn’t deal with in a healthy manner. At all. He’s basically a ball of anger and hurt with none of the school staff really knowing how to deal with him. Izuku, on the the other hand, now with a quirk and no years of being bullied/abused by Bakugou has become more social/open, even if he’s still shy. He manages to just stay under the radar and fade back since he’s just really quiet and considered a “nerd” that doesn’t really need his class’s attention. Like, the only thing that gets him any semi-focus is his interactions with Katsuki

Izuku still meets All Might first, he just doesn’t get to see his real form.

Katsuki takes learning the truth about All Might weirdly...well. I mean, naturally he’d be upset and confused at first but, after letting the info settle, he gets why he did it, and then kind of admires him for it because even with a freaking hole in his stomach All Might never stopped being a hero and continued winning his fights and still helped people and - Katsuki’s just blown away by how dedicated this man is to being the number one hero for everyone.

Now you’re probably (rightfully) asking yourselves - “Why would All Might give Bakugou of all people One For All?”

Because for whatever reason, Toshinari sees an actual genuine desire to become a hero under all that cursing and undirected rage and a potential to make it real, and dammit he’s going to make it real!

He also sees a frustrated and angry kid society just left on the wayside because he can’t make his hands explode sorry Kacchan you’re getting Dadded whether you like it or not

A lot of the training also includes attempted anger management talks between them since Katsuki is an angry little shit and the last thing Toshi needs to hear is that his student punch down a building because someone bumped him

The enterance exam is pretty normal minus Bakugou freaking everyone out with his mangled arm (that barely stops him from continuing the test and only stops when forcibly removed to get medical treatment).

Katsuki manages to get a pretty high hero score, he probably waits until he finds the high point robots gathered and then SMASH!

Izuku somehow accidentally gets the highest rescue points by helping other students avoid getting crushed by debris and everyone else’s attacks

Izuku is pretty interested in how Katsuki managed to suddenly develop a Quirk but he’s also very happy and proud that his childhood friend can attend classes with him and finally achieve his dream (which Katsuki hates)

The ranking test is so wild! Bakugou spends the entire time trying to one-up everyone and Izuku is barely scraping by but trying his best and Aizawa is just exhausted with everyone let the man rest please

Katsuki barely (And I mean BARELY) manages to keep himself from simply being expelled on virtue of his being a little shit due to showing that yes - he is capable of being serious about his becoming a hero and number one hero at that, but does tells him to get his head out of his ass if he wants to succeed

The hero/villain practice battle goes...badly

teamups are as in canon, only instead Izuku and Uraraka go after Iida immediately as they deem him a higher priority target. They’re winning at first, then Katsuki shows up.

and he is primed and ready to unleash about 10 years worth of pent up feelings on Izuku and anyone who gets in his way.

The entire thing is a mess - walls are crashing, fists are flying, someone is definitely crying. It’s a back and forth of Katsuki trying to kill Izuku and Izuku trying very very hard not to die

Things don’t really seems too bad (even with everything) until Katsuki actually knocks away (and out) Iida for trying to stop him cause friend pal you’re being a little extra there it’s just a test friend.

All Might almost stops the test until Izuku barely manages to grab a win by the skin of his teeth (mainly by taking advantage of the fact of Katsuki not paying any attention to the damage he’s doing to their surroundings and Ochako sacrificing reaching the objective to help Izuku), though officially his team still loses for not “stopping the bomb”

Everyone is both thoroughly impressed and greatly terrified (Of who though - no one knows)

Katsuki’s self hatred doubles because not only did he lose (a win by technicality is no win in his book), but he brought the loss on himself by letting his anger override everything.

Izuku, to his surprise, does not hold it against him. He’s always thought Katsuki is strong and the fight proved it with how well he’s done with a quirk he’s obviously not 100% used to and how hard he’s pushing to get ahead of everyone he’s however still terrified of how close he was to possibly dying though. In actuality the fight made him realize that he’s been kind of relying too much on the fact his quirk is “weak” and has encouraged him to work harder to get on the same level as everyone

and Katsuki, in all his Katsuki-ness, is both livid and frustrated cause dammit Deku how dare you say something that...nice!? And Katsuki has renewed his goal of being number one Hero and leaving Izuku in the dust and he’s going to do it properly so he better watch out

Dadmight is, of course, proud of this self-reflection, but still has to be Dad first (”I’m not mad Bakugou my boy, just disappointed”)

And that’s all I have goodnight folks thanks for reading and ask questions if you want!

[badwolfe359]

The Things We Hide Chapter 2

Summary: Post 7x07, Sam pushes Dean to talk about what’s bothering him. The result may be more than either of them is prepared for.

Pairing: Dean/Cas Words: 3835 Warnings: Mentions of abuse, rape

AN: I am revising and re-editing my Destiel fic The Things We Hide. I will be posting the chapters here as I do so, as well as updating them on FF.net and Ao3. Once I’m finished I’m going to start posting chapters of the sequel.

FF.net  •  Ao3

Bobby was knee deep in dead end Leviathan research when the boys showed up. It always sent up a red flag when they showed up without calling ahead of time. He scrutinized the brothers as they entered the cabin and he exchanged terse pleasantries with them. Or with Sam at least. Bobby watched as the younger Winchester pocketed the car keys.

 Sam had been driving.

Dean never let Sam drive.

Sam himself looked particularly worried as he ushered his unusually quiet brother into the building.

Bobby watched the older Winchester. His normally animated face was blank. Like some part of his personality was…absent.

Bobby ground his teeth. The hunter's life was not an easy one. Horrors were part of the everyday in lives like theirs. Dean's approach had always been to push away anything he did not want to deal with and then drink heavily whenever those issues reared their ugly heads.

It looked like one of those issues had finally gotten the better of Dean Winchester.

He made eye contact with the boy but his green eyes were dull and closed off. After a few moments, Dean turned his head and stalked off to the bedrooms.

Bobby approached Sam where he had dropped their bags on the table and was busy unloading.

"What in the hell happened?" he asked.

Sam's shoulders stiffened and he turned to Bobby, his hazel eyes full of pain and sorrow.

"It's Dean's story to tell." He said simply, turning back to the bag.

When Dean finally reemerged, Bobby took one look at him, cracked open the whisky, and turned on the TV. Didn't ask questions, didn't push or pry, just let Dean sit and be, knowing that the stubborn hunter would open up when he was good and ready. And when that time came, Bobby would be there to listen and give what advice was needed and affectionately call him an idjit.

As it turned out, it only took five days for Dean to approach Bobby.

…

Bobby was outside chopping wood when Dean sauntered out of the cabin clutching a bottle of beer like it was a lifeline and loitering in his peripheral vision. Bobby gave him a couple of minutes but when Dean didn't offer up anything, he sunk his axe down into the stump and turned to face the man he'd come to see as his own son.

"One of those had better be for me." He said, gesturing to the six-pack-minus-one that sat on the ground beside Dean. Dean looked down and nodded, grabbing a bottle and handing it to the old hunter. Bobby popped off the cap as they both settled side-by-side on the ground, leaning back against the outer wall of the cabin. He took a pull from the bottle and cleared his throat.

"So, you gonna talk or are we just gonna sit and look at the pretty scenery?"

Dean worried his bottom lip as he played with the bottle in his grasp, twisting it around and pulling at the label.

"Talk about what?"

Bobby rolled his eyes.

"Whatever it is that brought you and Sam here near a week ago. Whatever it is that's got you looking like the last puppy left in the store."

Dean glared at the chosen simile but kept his mouth firmly shut. Goddamn but that boy was stubborn.

"This wouldn't have anything to do with losing Cas would it?"

 Beside him, he felt Dean stiffen and smiled to himself, now they were getting somewhere. When he looked over, Dean was digging into the dirt around his feet.

"Have you finally come to your senses and realized just how much you cared for him?"

Dean's head shot up.

"You knew?!"

Bobby snorted and rolled his eyes.

"Well I got eyes don't I?"

Dean looked down again and, after a few seconds, asked, almost inaudibly.

"And you…you're…okay with that?"

Bobby shrugged.

"Doesn't much matter to me who you love. Guy, girl, Angel of the freakin' Lord. Just so long as you're happy Dean."

To his surprise, Dean didn’t scoff at the sappy words and stalk off to tinker with the blue muscle car they'd pulled up in. Instead, Bobby watched as tears welled up in the boy's eyes and he began to sense that this went deeper than a sexual crisis over his feelings for Castiel.

"Dean, what is it?" he asked, his voice softer than even he thought possible.

Dean was holding on by a thread, his entire body shaking with the effort of keeping the tears at bay.

"S-so…you wouldn't…you wouldn't care if I was…if I were g…gay?" the last word came out so softly that Bobby nearly didn't catch them. Dean turned his head and his eyes held such fear and pain. There was only one person who could instill this much fear in Dean.

"Of course not Dean. Hell, there's so much shit we got to deal with in this life of ours it seems stupid to care about something like that." He brought a hand up to rest on Dean's shoulder. "I consider you my son Dean, and I love you. No matter what."

Those were the words that finally broke the hunter. Bobby pulled the boy towards him into a one armed hug; letting him cry onto his shoulder like he had when Sam died. Dean cried for a good five minutes and when his sobs finally died down Bobby thought that would be the end of it.

Turned out, he was wrong.

"Dad cared."

The words sent a spike of cold fear through the belly of the gruff hunter. John Winchester had been a good man, a good hunter, but he had had his blind spots and a raging temper, especially when he'd been drinking, had been a particularly bad one.

"What'd he do Dean?"

Bobby could see Dean's hands shaking and clutching the bottle of beer until they were white. He shot up suddenly, pacing back and forth erratically.

Bobby hauled himself to his feet, cursing his age as his back twinged and knees creaked. Once he was up, he put a hand on Dean's shoulder, ceasing the nauseating movement.

"Hey, hey boy it's alright."

Dean's green eyes rose to meet Bobby's and Bobby was shocked at the depth of pain he saw in them. The shoulder on which his hand rested was rising and falling with Dean's rapidly increasing breaths.

"It's okay." Bobby said emphatically. Slowly the breathing evened out and the fear in his eyes faded, replaced by embarrassment and shame.

Dean ducked his head and moved away, shrugging out of Bobby's grasp.

"Sorry." He said quietly, turning and stalking toward the cabin.w

"Dean!" Bobby yelled as he heard the front door slam, "Balls!"

…

Sam looked up from his book when Dean threw open the front door and stormed in looking panicked and afraid. Bobby followed shortly.

"Dean."

"No!" Dean turned and held up a hand, his fear shifting seamlessly into anger.

"Dean." Sam said softly, standing slowly, "It's alright."

"Shut up Sam! Bobby, I don't want to talk about it! I'm not ready alright?!"

"That's fine Dean." Sam said, watching as his brother's ire cooled, "But you know you're going to have to tell Bobby eventually."

Dean glared at his brother and then collapsed on the sofa his head in his hands, his fingers tightening in his hair. Sam moved to sit beside him and Bobby plunked himself down on the coffee table, both a respectable distance away from the agitated hunter.

Dean shook his head.

"I can't Sammy, I can't say it." His anger had died and all that was left was exhaustion and fear and pain clouding his bright green eyes and darkening the circles beneath them.

Sam sighed and caught Bobby's eye.

"Can you tell him?"

The question was asked so quietly Sam nearly didn't hear it but when he looked to where his brother was huddled against the corner of the sofa, he could see pleading in Dean’s green eyes. Dean never asked for help, never asked for anything for himself.

"What? Are-are you sure?"

Dean swallowed, getting slowly to his feet, his arms snaking around his torso in a protective gesture that was so different from his usual brash bravado. He nodded.

"I just…I just can't Sammy."

And with that he fled the room.

Sam sighed and turned back to Bobby who was glancing between him and the door Dean had just disappeared behind with growing concern in his eyes.

"How far did you get?"

"We talked about Cas and then he mentioned something about your dad."

Sam shook his head and ground his teeth. He'd never seen John Winchester as the great hero that Dean always had. He'd seen him as an obsessive bastard who would rather spend his time seeking revenge for his wife's death than provide a good and stable home for his sons. Still, the man had sacrificed himself to save Dean's life and Sam had spent the last six years trying to honour his father's memory.

But now…now everything was different. Sam had never had the blind faith in his father that Dean had, the unwavering belief that John Winchester knew everything, that John Winchester was invincible. Where Dean had seen their dad's strengths, Sam had seen his weaknesses: his obsession, his temper, and his drinking.

Their father had been a mean drunk. Never violent, at least not to Sam, but angry. When he drank, he raved and broke things. One time he had even gotten a hold of one of his guns and let off a shot before Dean had managed to disarm him. Sam had no illusions that his father had been a saint, but he'd at least buried the man believing he had been a good person who loved his sons in his own way.

Sam sighed again and leaned forwards.

"When Dean was fifteen, Dad caught him kissing another boy."

Bobby shook his head and adjusted the ever-present baseball cap.

"I take it he didn't react well."

Sam looked up into the old hunter's eyes.

"He yelled at Dean, called him weak. Said he wasn't a man. That mom would have been ashamed of him. And then…"

Sam cut off, swallowing against the catch that had developed in his throat. He stood, a sudden burst of nervous energy catapulting him from the sofa and sending him pacing around the small cabin room.

"Then he went out, got drunk, came back, and raped Dean. To teach him a lesson."

The words burst from him in a rush as the nervousness coalesced into blinding fury. Fury at his father for what he’d done and fury at the memory of his brother, his big brother, who had always been the strongest person Sam knew, his brother crying and trembling in his arms as he relived what their father had done to him. John Winchester had achieved what every demon and monster he'd ever come across couldn't. He had brought Dean to his knees and broken him.

He looked over to see Bobby sitting stock still on the coffee table, his expression mirroring the anger Sam was feeling.

"That son of a bitch!" he said quietly but emphatically, standing and making a beeline for the door behind which Dean had disappeared.

"Now you listen here." He said, opening the door and moving to sit on Sam's bed opposite where Dean sat on his own, leaning back against the headboard. Sam followed. His brother jumped at Bobby's entrance and inched away from the man, "Your dad may have been a great hunter and a good father in the beginning but let me tell you something about living with abuse boy. It sneaks up on you and it's too damn easy to just give in and accept it, to let it become just another crappy part of your crappy life. But it don't gotta be that way. Now I'm gonna tell you something Dean and you need to believe that I am telling the truth. Do you trust me?"

Dean seemed too shocked to speak.

"Do you trust me Dean to always tell you the honest to god truth?"

Sam looked at his brother looking at Bobby. He seemed…young. Dean had never looked young to Sam, not even when they were little, and not just because he was older, but because his brother had always been the one to take care of him; the parent, more than John had ever been. But here and now Sam tried to remember Dean at fifteen. Not the cocky, jaded persona he'd put on to protect himself, but the boy on the verge of becoming a man, alone and confused about an emerging sexuality that he wasn't expecting and didn't understand. Sam remembered his own puberty, the feelings, the desires. Looking at him now, Sam could see that boy shining out through his striking green eyes; the boy he'd always been even when he was clothing and feeding Sam at the age of six or hunting at the age of ten. And he saw the teenager, desperate for some sign that he wasn't totally and completely alone, latching onto the first person to come along who understood, and then having it so violently ripped away from him by the man he trusted the most.

Sam felt his heart break for his brother and then swell with pride at the thought of how strong he was to have survived it.

Dean, who was looking unblinkingly at Bobby, nodded. Of course he trusted him.

"You did not deserve what that bastard did. You are not responsible for the fact that he was an abusive jackass, and you are not any weaker because of it."

Bobby's gaze seemed to pierce through Dean, to shine a spotlight on every twisted insecurity he had surrounding the painful memory. He wanted to run away from those words, to go back to the way he had been because at least self-loathing was familiar territory and a hell of a lot easier than seeing John Winchester as anything other than a God in his eyes. Sure his dad had been a bastard, but Dean had been his good little soldier for almost as long as he could remember. It was who he was and if he tore that down then what would be left? Dean feared that if he tried, the answer would turn out to be nothing.

"Do you hear me boy?" Bobby asked.

Sam moved to sit on Dean's bed.

"Bobby's right Dean. What Dad did…it was wrong, so wrong. Pure and simple."

Dean lowered his gaze, pulling at the loose threads of the quilt that covered his bed and nodded.

"Yeah, I know."

Sam sighed and he and Bobby eyed each other, silently agreeing that that was all they were likely to get out of Dean. At least it was something.

"Well, I'm going to go see if I can scrounge up something for dinner." Sam said, standing and leaving Dean and Bobby alone. Bobby moved over to Dean's bed and sat beside him, putting a hand on Dean's shoulder.

"You alright?"

Dean raised his head and wiped away an errant tear that had begun to trickle down his cheek.

"Yeah." He said, his voice rough and husky from trying to hold back tears.

Bobby grunted and slung an arm around his shoulders, pulling him close.

"I meant what I said earlier, I'm damn proud of you Dean."

Bobby stood, letting his hand rest for a moment on Dean's shoulder. He squeezed tightly and then left to help Sam prepare some semblance of dinner, allowing Dean some time alone.

[podcastmecaptain]

the stim bin

part of advanced PLACEMENT: an ars PARADOXICA high school au about a gang of queer teen nerds, by @estherroberts​ , @podcastmecaptain , and @lizzieraindrops

all three of the aformentioned dorks are equally responsible for the hijinks found in this post. today as well all three aforementioned dorks are neurodivergent folks writing about neurodivergent folks.

click here for the au masterpost | track #ars placement for updates!

ALSO: things aren’t always showing up in the tags, so your most reliable bet is the aforementioned masterpost.

attention: all contents incredibly neurodivergent

everyone shares those fidget cubes

collectively they have like five

in so many colors

esther also designs a giant version that’s like. the size of a KEYBOARD and with lots more options and Bigger

jack builds it

they call it the stimboard deluxe

anthony has nintendo

sally brings him all her childhood games and watches him hyperfocus

sally and anthony were the first autistic friend each other had and they love sharing weird stuff from their childhoods that nobody else liked

they have a lot of overlap of interests and they spent so long without anyone like them who really got them

and they both feel so safe and loved not only with each other but with the whole gang because everyone’s neurodiv af even if they’re not sure in exactly what way

anthony brings notes everywhere

scribble scribble

Doing The Right Thing, Doing Science For Good is sort of his ruling philosophy

a lot of times it’s really easy to lead him down the wrong path if he thinks it’s Science For Good

he has some problems with gullibility

the pressure stimming is too real

PRESSURE! STIM! HUGS!

Big Coats or Lab Coats

fiddling with his glasses

he’s bad at artistic/creative things and just doesn’t get it. he can follow a pattern tho,

polish patterns work for him, especially with tape. he likes taking care of his nails because he’s v tactile, he likes the smooth feeling of the polish and likes tapping his nails

he either gets really anxious or angry about Bad things

breakdowns, breaking things, and weirdly quick recoveries

he could hug people for hours

he usually does if he’s had a panic attack, but other than that acts like he’s fine

canon says sally eats weird and has a disturbing appetite so like,

sally separating EVERY SINGLE FOOD by group and flavor and texture and then like putting one piece of one in her mouth at a time and keeps TALKING CAUSE SHE’S A DORK

other options:

SHREDS EVERYTHING AND EATS IT WITH A STRAW

eats only EXACTLY one quarter of anything at a time and forgets the rest

uses her hands for THINGS SHE SHOULD NOT

burnt things

she love the Cronch

puts things together that should not even touch

jack cries the day he sees her dip pickles in whipped cream and shove a fistful of blue cheese blissfully into her mouth immediately after that

sally’s special interests:

electronics, gadgets, tinkering, SCIENCE, beginning quantum physics, computers

stims by tinkering and uses voice recordings for vocal stims, plays with her hair and bites her nails, spinning, dancing, tapping tools

hands on everything

the dancing is so bad and uses her full body (it’s actually so cute)

is a bad driver bc she either hyperfocuses on the road or she starts TALKING and gets lost in anything BUT driving

sally wears her lab coat everywhere

she plays with the seams, runs the fabric between her fingers, tugs on the corners of it to create pressure on her shoulders

sometimes she spins in a circle just to let the fabric flap behind her like a cape

tags on clothing are EVIL

she takes them out with a seam ripper till there’s no traces

sallys clothes are always a little large and odd bc if they’re not comfy she Dies

no really she’ll end up in a ball somewhere crying because of sensory grossness

she has serious sensory processing issues

sometimes it’s really a Drag but she loves fiddling with things so much and it feels so good and she wouldn’t give it up for the world

she has a watch that sometimes she’ll make clicking noises along with the tick tick tick tick

lots more under the readmore!

sally is the queen of weighted blankets

she always has one readily accessible in case she needs to wrap up in it

the gang Knows this and they’re always asking her to borrow one

like one time esther texts sally like “help me im having sensory issues and i need hugs”

and sally turns up with not one but TWO heavy blankets

(she may have fallen over once or twice trying to carry both of them)

(just these two lil scurrying feet on skinny legs goin patpatpatpat supporting this huge bundle of extra-weighted bedding floating down the hall)

she wraps esther in them and then squeezes her, too

for good measure, sally gets up on her tippie toes and rests her chin on esther’s head

esther, muffled: “i am a burrito now”

sally: “a precious tiny gay burrito”

or, estherrito

bridget puts her in her phone contacts as ‘ettie burrito’

and sally in turn puts her in hers as ‘questherdilla’

also oh my god when will she Stop doing fingerguns with accompanying tongue clicks

sally talks to herself

she has a little wee tape recorder named Diane because Diane

its covered in stickers

she likes to record what she’s doing to organize herself and calm down

and she’ll replay them to process things

sometimes her friends will leave happy messages on there for her

or helen will sing her a little ditty

helen is the world’s best audio stim

her voice is just really soothing

she’ll sing absently and everyone just operates more smoothly for that minute

she likes singing for herself too

humming and tapping her instrument is a soothing habit

helen is very audio/vocal

she likes to play the same song over and over again

bridget has some issues with self image

she also has obsessive tendencies, sometimes related to organization and labeling things

but also related to literature and only being able to talk about whatever she’s into

sometimes it’s easier to quote things from her favorite books instead of replying in her own words

she doesn’t like things that are uneven or unbalanced

objects OR concepts that are unfair or unequal

(except her hair. her hair is badass and she’s okay with that kind of disunity)

esther’s adhd and her big stims are

high heel clicks on the floor when she walks

fancy & feminine clothes that make her feel secure

the ritual of putting on her makeup

pencils (tapping or twirling)

HER RINGS, she has three and she spins spins spins

she likes to rub the shaved side of bridget’s head

and run her fingers through the hair on the other side

she ALWAYS has her father’s old deck of cards with her, she’s shuffled them so many times they’re completely worn down, and no one is allowed to touch them but her

they’re very soft, she has a new pack as well for crisper sound/feeling and everyday use

sometimes she uses card games as lens to make sense of the world

she has a rough time with communication and a rough time with empathy but she’s trying to work on both of those

both come easier with people she’s close to and bridget is helping her some too

it’s easy for her to hyperfocus in class and doing homework, so it took them a while to diagnose her

out of all of them, esther is the best at reminding people to be organized and do self-care (tho she doesn’t always take care of herself)

she spends a lot of her time in her own head, she really values alone time, and she needs to recharge after she spends time around people

even people she loves

jack’s also adhd, had been diagnosed for a while and has almost all of the opposite symptoms as esther (which is another one of the reasons it took them so long to figure out esther)

jack always works better after he moves, if he runs a little or bounces a ball around or is shaking his legs, rocking on his heels

he makes lots of rolling rrr sounds and blows his lips when he’s frustrated

the pencil chewing ended in splinters and the pen chewing ended in ink all over so now he has a little necklace with a chewable shark

the sharks name is Fredrico

his binder is actually kinda helpful because it’s pressure

he screws and unscrews things a lot

actually taking apart and putting back together all machinery is a Big Thing

june is dyslexic

she has cute tinted glasses to help her with studying

sometimes helen reads stuff out loud for her, she doesn’t mind but june hates to ask

for her birthday quentin bought her a five sided highlighter to color code different things

she has some emotional processing issues

it’s easier to feel angry than anything else

& her methods of dealing with anger aren’t super healthy either

quentin is the only one who actually can manage himself

Quentin is a Hydrated Boy

(he has great skin)

quentin always comes across as super chill but that’s actually because he has hella anxiety and works really hard to manage it

penny is autistic and if june and helen are the dad and mom friends and esther is the gay cousin

then sally and anthony are the autistic aunt and uncle who adopt penny as their niece

they can spot one of their own from a mile off and just decided We Gonna Take Her Under Our Big Fluffy Damn Wings

penny is the Flappiest Autistic

big happy arm flaps, upset little hand flaps, her fast excited flaps are literally the best and most joyous thing

she’s always been kinda embarrassed and insecure about it but jack is so supportive

he’s only a moderate flapper but he often flaps with her when she does it

and he calls her his butterfly

this melts her heart and makes her feel happy and not weird and when this happens she is prone to flapping even harder

she calls him her moth

they’re precious fluttery darlings

sometimes when they both get going, sally joins in too and they all spin around the room fluttering in a big flappy tornado

it’s Good 

[cherrettephineus97]

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