#bought heaps at big w but it was all for me shut up leave me alone

[fazcinatingblog]

i messed up a really good friendship this year and now i miss out on giving a lewis young jigsaw as a christmas present.

[arabellaflynn]

I've been in my new place for about two weeks now, otherwise known as 'long enough to decompensate'. Despite taking apart all my standing racks and piling all my shit up in the living room, neither of the other roommates noticed I was leaving until the night before, when the Useless Narcissist asked if I was moving. 

"Yes."

"Oh, when?"

"Tomorrow."

Stunned look. "Why?"

"Because neither of you pay your rent on time." 

(Note that I had been telling them for the past two months that I could not continue fronting the rent for everyone indefinitely. The landlord insisted on having the check by the first but didn't cash it until some random time between the 15th and the 25th of the month. Both roommates had gotten around to giving me the money later and later -- for June, the Useless Narcissist paid me just over a week late, and the other one was two weeks late.)

Indignant look. "Oh come on! I paid you back every time!"

"That's not really the same thing."

Appalled look. "What are we going to do about this month?"

"Beats me."

(I might have had a more sympathetic response had he not asked me this on the second of July, having apparently assumed that I had just gone ahead and paid everyone's rent for them, so as not to bother him with piddly things like deadlines.)

I used the same movers I called the last time, because I'll be damned if I carry the heavy shit myself ever again. They were pretty surprised when they showed up. Apparently by moving company standards, I was almost psychotically prepared. What do I do when I know I'm about to move? The same thing we do every night, Pinky! Try to take over the world Buy more giant plastic bins and start heaving shit into them. It's not a complex plan. The Useless Narcissist had been unsuccessfully "moving" for like the past two and a half months and had had all of his crap heaped up in our living room the whole time; I considered asking him to shift some of it out of the way, but decided I didn't feel like dealing with the temper tantrum. The path of least resistance was buying colored duct tape for all the bins and boxes and hanging big tags on all my luggage, so that's what I did. They're green. The movers were almost confused when they brought up the giant roll of plastic wrap and realized they didn't need it, because I don't really own furniture that doesn't come apart for transport, and I'd just packed all the rat's worldly possessions into his cage and then zip tied it shut. 

Predictably, the landlord messaged me a few days later to say he hadn't gotten the rent check that month. I said I was sorry to hear that, but I didn't live there anymore, and gave him the phone numbers of the two remaining deadbeats so he could pester them for money. I have no idea if they've paid him or not, because this is no longer my problem.

The new place is back in the same area where I landed when I first moved to Boston, in a sprawling field of Edwardian houses where nothing is plumb or level. The hardwood floors are flat as a funhouse mirror. I'm a reasonable walk or bus ride from all my old haunts, and I am pleased to note that a sushi place I used to patronize is actually still around. Not that I'll be eating there anytime soon -- I bought the last couple of things I had grant money earmarked for, and I'm back to pretending I'm flat broke, just now with 2-3 months rent in savings. The groceries list is back up on Amazon now that I have a stable address again. If it lands on my porch, great; if not, I know where the supermarket is.

Cheese, it turns out, does not travel well. At all. Getting him out here was a ten minute walk to the T, three stops on the train, and a ten minute walk to the new house, and he spent all of it trying to beat his way out of the carrier with his wee little skull. Fortunately, I'd already replaced the plastic mesh in that thing with metal window screen he couldn't chew through as easily, or the Green Line might have acquired an extra rat. He also did not enjoy going to the vet that weekend to see if she had any better ideas on how to stop him going hnorp all the time, which she didn't. A lot of his discomfort was probably because outside is hot and muggy and full of grass pollen. (To be fair, a lot of my discomfort is also because outside is hot and muggy and full of grass pollen. I just have access to allergy meds on demand.) He still has a continuous sniffle, but inside a climate-controlled room it's more 'kind of an annoying snoof' than 'terrifying shortness of breath'. At this point, I've just concluded that it is what it is, he's probably going to make a hnorp noise for the rest of his life, it's probably fine.

We moved in on the afternoon of the 3rd and Cheese spent the night hiding in a box, mostly because he had thrown himself around his carrier so hard he hurt one of his feet. I tried to keep him from climbing too much, but when I opened the door on the 4th for breakfast, he scaled me and decamped on the roof of the cage, refusing to come down for love or money pudding. I don't so much care if he wants to be on the roof of his house as I want him to not throw himself off the roof of his house, and since he shows no signs of wanting to jump, I've just given up. I opened the top door and hung a strategic hammock so he could get up and down without my help. He can be tall if it makes him feel better.

The Fourth was stormy here. I spent most of the day unpacking with a migraine so catastrophic I didn't realize that was what it was until it was over, despite having to stop and lay face-down on the floor several times to keep myself from throwing up. Fun thing about migraines, they subject the part of your brain that solves problems to rolling brownouts, which makes dealing with them difficult. I just kept running through the food-water/electrolytes-caffeine-meds checklist over and over, hoping that one of those things would fix the problem. None of them did, although my attempt at dinner did teach me that there's a really good fried chicken place nearby, and Cheese appreciated the bones.

(Cheese has regained most of the weight he dropped when he went off his food during the first round of Baytril. He ate almost an entire pudding cup by himself while I was unpacking. That's 70 calories of pudding, according to the package. I don't know that he needs 70 calories total, per day. I am impressed by both his determination and his stomach capacity.

He has decided that his favorite kind, by a country mile, is butterscotch. This is a bit of a problem, because that flavor is currently unobtanium. It's been out of stock everywhere for weeks. Is the world's only source of cheap artificial butterscotch flavoring located deep in Ukraine? I do not know. The only way to get him more of it was to order a case on Amazon, so $20 of my grant money went to buying pudding for my incredibly picky free rat.)

I divested myself of surprisingly little when I moved this time. I went through the same thing I did when I moved to Boston originally, where I looked sadly at all my "fun" clothes and makeup before tossing them, and then realized that I couldn't -- I actually used that for work. I still have the nagging feeling that anything I enjoy is expendable. That's what being an adult is, isn't it? Having to choose between things you enjoy and things you need, and understanding that your happiness is less important than everything else. But I like my bins of makeup and costumes and props and electronics, and I use all of them to make money one way or another. The lack of conflict is frankly destabilizing.

The last tenant still had a king-size mattress here when I came to look at the room. They offered to get a TaskRabbit to haul it to the curb, but I was like no, no -- I don't want to move a bed either, just leave it. The most convenient solution was to just make Amazon magic a new frame onto the porch. The bed is so big. The biggest futon I ever bothered buying was a Full. I spent a whole three-tenths of a second trying to figure out which way the bed should face before realizing it didn't matter, because a King is basically square. I shoved it into a corner, put some sheets on, and built a nest. Being an adult is also getting to decide that making the bed is for chumps, and I can sleep in a pile of miscellaneous pillows and chenille blankets just fine. I'm so used to being on a Twin that it took me about a week to stop sleeping curled up on the edge.

I bought an 18" frame and it's lifted on 8" risers. Mostly I did it so I could store a bunch of luggage under there, but it also gives me almost enough space to sit upright next to all the suitcases. Which sounds like I'm trying a little too hard to be quirky until you realize I've just started a project that will eventually require me to record a voiceover, and the quietest spot in my room is almost certainly going to be underneath the giant cushion.

I have the rest of July to do pretty much whatever I want. I'm not not looking for work, but I'm aware that there isn't likely to be a lot of it until the fall season starts. Someone asked me to work a private event at the end of the month, and I actually got to sit and think about if I felt like taking the gig, rather than taking everything I'm offered and figuring out how to make it work. I'm absolutely terrified that now that I've committed to paying the higher rent, the work will all suddenly vanish. I have no idea why I think that. As soon as people realized I could run things in the tech booth, they all trampled over each other to book me. My calendar says I worked on 15 events in 16 weeks, in capacities ranging from "show up with camera" to "perform multi-hour live set" to "camp in booth and run literally everything except the lights". And I don't run the lights mainly because I don't own the widget that talks to them via USB, and I'm not really comfortable trying to work a manual board and QLab at the same time. (I was told that the software license for the USB doodad was $1000+, but I'm seeing open source hardware/software combos on Amazon for about $300ish? I don't know what the difference is, and I'm not prepared to buy one until I do.) 

Whenever I have a long stretch of time to do "whatever I want" that almost always translates to "have the breakdown I've been putting off the whole time I was required to do things whether I wanted to or not". I'm really good at just gritting my teeth and surviving/ignoring stressful situations until I can extricate myself -- see: my entire childhood -- but the downside is that when it's over I get to feel all the horrible consequences at once. It's a lot like pumping yourself full of stimulants to power through a difficult day. It works by borrowing resources from future!you to keep present!you functional. I start panicking over really random, non-sensical things, tiny problems that can be easily fixed if any of them even exist in the first place. I hate this and the only way I can really deal with it is keep it tightly locked up whenever I have to talk to people, then go home and hide until I can human again. It's not fun, but at least now I can do it in the air conditioning.

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[ticklishfiend]

Spoiled Afternoon

The Disastrous Life of Saiki K - Saiki, Kaidou, Kuboyasu

a/n: alrighty here’s my saiki k fic i promised LMAO it’s not great as i wrote it kinda quickly but maybe it’ll hold me off until i get bored and maybe make another hehe. anyways!! hope you enjoy! :)

. . .

School days like today felt like absolute bliss to Saiki. It was possibly the most boring day imaginable when it comes to PK High, and he was on top of the world. At this point, the only thing that made him feel even more excited was the prospect of being able to go home alone and have an even more boring afternoon. It was a heavenly thought, really. 

“Nendo, you’re not even gonna ask to go get ramen?” Kaidou asked the taller boy next to him as they all strolled home together. “I mean, you ask that like every day, is something wrong?”

“Did I not tell you two? I finally got another job!” Nendo exclaimed, smiling brightly at the boys, Kaidou being beside him and Saiki right behind. “I’m actually headed there right now, guess it just slipped my mind to let my best buds know hehe.”

Yeah, that’s not gonna last very long, Saiki thought. I won’t be surprised if he gets fired before he even arrives. 

“That’s great man! Where are you working?” Kaidou asked, before Nendo stopped walking and pointed down a road they don’t usually walk.

“Just some rinky-dink stop-n-go shop down that way. I could show you guys the place if you want!” Nendo smiled widely, his hand gesturing towards a shop down the road that looked...less than friendly. Thugs were gathered outside the door, a fog gathering around the entrance that upon further inspection seems to actually be cigarette smoke.

Kaidou’s face turned sour, his brows furrowing awkwardly as his eyes never left the scary store’s front. “Uhm...I’d love to Nendo, really, but I...I have to study! Yeah, so much homework tonight it’s kinda overwhelming!” Kaidou laughed nervously, a hand scratching the back of his head.

Kaidou, we all have the same classes, surely you don’t think Nendo won’t realize-

“Oh, I understand buddy! Well, you’re free to stop by anytime! My hours are from 3 to 8!” Nendo waved as he started making his way down the road opposite to the other boys. “Bye buddies!”

Oh right. How could I forget Nendo’s raging idiocy?

“Jeez, that was a close one,” Kaidou spoke as the two boys began making their way as far from that road as possible. “I hope Nendo will be okay over there, it seems really rough.”

Nendo’s a pretty big guy, he can fight his own battles if he needs to. Honestly, his surprising athleticism might be the only thing that could help him keep that job, Saiki thought. Thanks to Nendo, I don’t even have to worry about getting food with these morons, I can just go straight home with no distractions or obstacles in my w-

“Oh hey, Kuboyasu!” Kaidou shouted happily, waving his hands toward the purple-haired teen in front of them. What a pain, just another thing to slow me down from my goal. “What are you doing in this alley, I thought your house was down the other way?” 

“I was actually looking for you guys. Speaking of which, where’s Nendo?” Kuboyasu asked, looking around the other two boys as if Nendo’s huge frame could be hiding behind them somewhere.

“He got himself a job down that creepy road over there, some scary-looking shop surrounded by a bunch of thugs,” Kaidou shivered just thinking about it. Kuboyasu’s eyes widened like he knew the exact place he was talking about. Saiki read his thoughts only to find out he witnessed some crazy shit there once during his bad-boy phase. Yikes. “Anyways, why were you looking for us?”

Kuboyasu was suddenly transported out of his thoughts and back into the real world. “O-Oh, right!” He reached into his backpack and pulled out a game cartridge. “I bought this game a while back and I heard it’s much more fun if you play multiplayer. It only goes up to three people, but now that Nendo’s at work all three of us could totally play together!”

Great. Why today of all days did Nendo have to start a new job?

Kuboyasu handed the game over to Kaidou for him to look at, the blue-haired boy’s eyes going wide with excitement. “Wait, I’ve heard of this game! Oh my god, we have to play this, it was one of the top rated games last year!” 

I’ve heard of this one too. It’s some fighting style game much akin to Mortal Kombat. Why would Kuboyasu even buy this kind of game if he didn’t have anyone to play with? Everyone knows fighting computers is never as fun. Still, I’m not going. I’d much rather sleep the afternoon away.

“My mom doesn’t really let me play many games so I didn’t get to buy it when it came out, so this would be the perfect opportunity for me to play!” Kaidou continued.

Oh, so now you’re gonna pull the mean-mom card to try and get me to play with you guys? Well it’s not gonna work, I’ve been looking forward to this afternoon all day and I’m not gonna let some-

“I’ve got snacks at my house too so you guys won’t go hungry while playing. Oh, Saiki, isn’t your favorite coffee jelly? I’ve got plenty of that in my fridge, you’re free to as much of it as you like!” Kuboyasu smiled in Saiki’s direction.

…

Wow, this coffee jelly is really amazing, who knew Kuboyasu’s mom knew how to make it homemade?!

Saiki smiled contently to himself as he happily ate his first coffee jelly of the day. He was sat on the floor in front of Kuboyasu’s bedroom TV, Kaidou on his right with Kuboyasu on Kaidou’s right. 

“That’s such a bummer that your mom doesn’t let you play video games,” Kuboyasu remarked, his hands behind him on the floor to prop himself up.

“Well she does let me play some games, she just likes to make sure it won’t interfere with my grades. Basically I’m only allowed to play anything if my grades are good which...they’re rarely anything great,” Kaidou’s face blushed softly, an embarrassed hand coming up to scratch at his shoulder.

“She won’t get mad at you for being at my house, right?”

“Nah, doubt it, as long as I study when I get home I’ll be good,” Kaidou responded sheepishly.

Kuboyasu smiled, reaching his body forward and grabbing the game from off the ground in front of him. “In that case, you guys ready?”

Kaidou nodded excitedly. Jesus, Kaidou, you look like a little kid on Christmas, calm down.

Kuboyasu pushed his glasses upward before placing the game into the console, grabbing the three controllers on his TV stand and handing two of them to the other boys.

What a pain. I’m only here for the coffee jelly, do I really have to play this game with these two? Saiki thought while sitting down his empty bowl beside him on the floor, reaching out to grab the gaming controller offered to him. I guess I might as well. I don't want to be rude and ask for another bowl.

The game loaded up, each of the boys picking their characters (Kaidou picking his with extreme excitement and enthusiasm as if he’d never played a video game in his life).

Saiki decided to go easy on the boys, especially Kaidou. I could win this game with extreme ease if I wanted to, I basically know all the insides and outs of it at this point. But, Kaidou seems really excited about it. I should let him have this.

Saiki died within the first few minutes of the first match at the hands of Kaidou, Kuboyasu dying mere moments later, leaving Kaidou the winner of that round. The blue-haired teen’s hands shot straight in the air at this, an excited “HA!” leaving his lips. Maybe that stroked his ego a bit too much. Kaidou’s arms remained in the air with pride as the next round began to load up. Kuboyasu just rolled his eyes and jabbed two fingers into the boy’s ribs, making him jolt back in surprise with a yelp. Kuboyasu grinned.

Once their new round finally loaded up completely, one of Kuboyasu’s thoughts caught Saiki’s attention. “I know exactly how I’m gonna win this one. Sure, it’s a dirty way to play, but at least I’m not hurting him.” 

Again, Saiki decided to die close to the beginning of the match (again at the hands of Kaidou), but this time with different intent. I’m honestly a little intrigued to see how this plays out, but I don’t want to be caught in the middle of it. As long as I die first, they can hash it out between the two of them, leaving me out of it.

Kaidou’s face was contorted in concentration, his eyes never leaving the screen in front of him as determination to win took over. Saiki noticed Kuboyasu’s eyes slowly beginning to glance at Kuboyasu, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. Finally, Kuboyasu shot out his left hand to Kaidou’s right side, squeezing with intent as his right hand continued to use the controller, now beating Kaidou. Kaidou nearly jumped out of his skin before letting out a loud laugh.

“Wahahait! Stohohop! That’s not fahahair! This is cheheheating!” Kaidou cackled, his right arm shooting down to protect his side while he continued trying to play the game. It was really no use, though, as his eyes were squeezed shut so he couldn’t even see the screen.

“You got a little too cocky last match, it was annoying. Plus, I’ve played this game dozens of times, so this is wayyy more fun for me,” Kuboyasu grinned, his character on screen finally beating Kaidou’s. He didn’t let up, though, now sitting down his controller to tickle both of Kaidou’s sides.

“Nohoho mohohore! I gihihive! I’m sohohorry!” Kaidou howled, flopping his body completely down on the floor and rolling over on his side. Kuboyasu began moving one hand upwards towards Kaidou’s armpit, and the laughing boy underneath him began kicking his legs out. “Nohoho! Not thehere! Plehehease!”

Can it really be this bad? I mean, I know I’ve never been tickled before but Jesus, Kaidou sounds like he’s being murdered, Saiki thought to himself, his eyes not being able to leave the heaping pile of giggles on the floor before him. It’s true, Saiki had never been tickled before. Sure, his parents definitely tried to when he was little, but he would always just teleport away before they got the chance. Plus, he had never really had friends growing up to tickle him, so he was just completely in confusion at how it could really be that bad that it had his classmate on the floor begging for it to stop like that.

Finally, Kuboyasu let up, backing away from the giggling boy to give him some air. The purple-haired teen had a smirk on his face that wouldn’t disappear, a look of almost endearment plastered on.

“That was so unfair, you totally could’ve killed me!” Kaidou whined, finally sitting up but not moving his arms from his abdomen like he was scared it would all happen again if he moved them.

“Relax, I just tickled you, you big baby,” Kuboyasu rolled his eyes with a grin. “Not my fault you’re so ticklish.” 

Kaidou was blushing furiously, his arms crossed and face contorted in a childlike pout. Suddenly, Kuboyasu looked up at Saiki curiously, his head cocked to the side.

“Yknow, Saiki, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you laugh before,” he said with a smirk, his gaze wandering down to meet with Kaidou’s.

Saiki’s eyes went wide, a feeling of dread he’d never felt before pooling in his stomach.

No. No no no, no way this is happening. I have to get out of here. I have to do SOMETHING-

Before Saiki had time to come up with an escape plan, Kaidou pounced on top of him, knocking him down to the floor on his back. Kuboyasu scrambled over to where Saiki’s head was lying, looking in his eyes upside-down.

“Kaidou, don’t,” Saiki telepathically warned the grinning boy propped up on his waist. Kaidou’s fingers were already scribbling in the air above Saiki’s torso, and for once the psychic really didn’t know what to do. Kuboyasu very suddenly grabbed onto Saiki’s wrists, pulling them above his head. I don’t want to use my super strength against them, there’s no way this is the way they find out about my abilities. I’ll just let them have their fun. Who knows? Maybe I’m not even ticklish-

Without warning, ten fingers uickly came down onto Saiki’s sides, pinching up and down the torso like it was nothing. Saiki could felt in instantly, and it was one of the most confusing sensations he had ever felt.

His body started to squirm without him even realizing, twisting from side to side like he was trying to get away. He clamped his mouth shut, not wanting to let real laughs out.

“Cmon, Saiki, you know you wanna laugh~” Kaidou teased, his right hand continuing to pinch his side while his left began lightly scritching at his lower stomach through his unfortunately thin school uniform in the most unbearable way. 

Giggles were bouncing around in Saiki’s ribcage, but he still tried so hard not laugh. But, once he felt two new hands begin scratching at his underarms, it was all over. Apparently, while Saiki was too focused on Kaidou, Kuboyasu had pinned Saiki’s hands under his knees, now having full access to Saiki’s recently discovered ticklish body.

“NAHAHAHA! STOHOHOHOP!” Saiki pleaded, his eyes squeezed tightly shut, an unfamiliar large smile contorting his face. His head swung from side to side as his legs kicked out from underneath Kaidou, the blue-haired teen absolutely relishing in his friend’s torment.

“Who knew all this time all we had to do to get you to smile was tickle you?” Kuboyasu teased, his fingers trailing down to Saiki’s ribs. Saiki thrashed at the new spot, his pleas getting more desperate.

“Right? I didn’t expect him to be this ticklish either, it’s honestly a real shock,” Kaidou smiled, pinching Saiki’s hips and making the psychic buck underneath him.

After another moment, the two boys relented, climbing off of Saiki’s heaving body and allowing him a breather.

That was insane. I feel bad for judging Kaidou earlier, that was seriously intense. How is that not used as common torture?!

“You good, Saiki? We didn’t go to far, right?” Kuboyasu asked, looking at Saiki who was now sat slightly up, his head down between his knees so his classmates wouldn’t see his unfortunate blush.

Saiki just gave a thumbs up, making the other two boys chuckle.

“Just so you know, I’m totally gonna use this against you when you’re being grumpy,” Kaidou smiled, his hands coming up to form wiggly claws as a threat. Then the boy let out a sudden yelp, twisting away from Kuboyasu who was sat right behind him. “Hey! You already got to tickle me, no more!”

“What?! Kaidou, I didn’t tickle you,” Kuboyasu said seriously.

“Dude, I literally felt it! You can’t say I didn’t feel something I felt!” Kaidou yelled, yet again pouting like a child.

That’s what you get, Kaidou Saiki thought to himself. Tickle me again and it’ll be much worse.

. . .

a/n: ahh! ok that was definitely not my best but i hope you enjoyed anyways! pls like/rb if you enjoyed it lmao, i know im not gonna get many notes from this cause this isn’t a fandom in demand but any feedback would be lovely :))

[thedoodlezoo]

Heere We Go Again (Jeremy x Reader)

W/c 1609 Warnings: Cursing and Jeremy being angsty for a second Requested: Jeremy and the new girl get close when he finds out abt her SQUIP

MASTERLIST ______________

Jeremy Heere had a lot of guilty pleasures. He had more than he’d care to admit. Staring at you was the most prominent of them, and you’d only met a week ago.

The SQUIP epidemic at the remote Jersey school was long over. In fact, it was a whole new school year altogether. You’d moved over the summer, and there you were on the first day in homeroom. Jeremy Heere was starstruck with a single glance at you, but he didn’t know your secret- you had a SQUIP of your own, from before you’d even relocated.

It started as a way to cope with your anxiety. It was working, too. Not only that, but you had lots of friends in the neighborhood. In seven short days, you’d climbed to the top of the heap, and Jeremy was forced make heart eyes at you from a distance.

_________

“What are your peers going to think when you arrive at school in your neighbor’s PT cruiser?” Your SQUIP scoffed in disgust.

“I like hanging out with Michael!” You defended, running a brush through your hair. “He’s different. And Jeremy, too! I don’t see why it has to be like this, like my friendship with them has to be some kind of dirty secret!” You complained.

“[Name], can’t you see? You aren’t supposed to have a friendship with those two at all! If anything, I am being lenient letting Michael drive you to school.” The SQUIP reasoned. Looking out the window, it scoffed. “Oh, he’s here, ” it said with a roll of its eyes.

You made your way downstairs with haste, greeting Michael as you opened the door.

“Hey dude!” He smiled. “Yo, would it be a big deal if we picked up Jeremy? He doesn’t wanna be that senior that shows up on the bus,”

You smiled a little. “Jeremy? Totally!” You agreed before the SQUIP could protest. It wasn’t happy.

“That twunk? This is a suicide mission!” It exclaimed in disbelief.

“Shut up-” you muttered under your breath.

“What was that?” Michael turned down his stereo to hear you.

“Oh, um, nothing. Reminder to myself.” You nodded before telling him to keep blasting Bob Marley. —— “Heere we are!” Michael parked in Jeremy’s driveway. His soft chuckles told you it was his attempt at a pun, one at which you forgot to laugh.

Jeremy strolled outside, almost tripping at the sight of you in the front seat. Clutching tighter into the straps of his “Boyf” backpack, he cleared his throat.

“Michael!” He chuckled nervously as he slid into the backseat. “You, uh, didn’t tell me that [name] would be joining us!” He tried to whisper to his best friend through gritted teeth.

Despite this, you heard, and it made you frown a little. Did he not like hanging out with you?

The SQUIP and Jeremy were having almost identical thoughts.

That he looked like a slob.

That he was going to make a fool of himself.

That he was never gonna get the girl.

The only sound to fill the car was Michael’s tunes, of which you were grateful. You would have been able to hear a pin drop, otherwise. ——- Pulling up to the school, your SQUIP made sure you didn’t waste a second. Any time spent with Michael and Jeremy was time that your reputation could fall apart.

Knowing that lingering would result in a painful shock, you waved to the two boys hastily and scurried off.

“….What’s her deal?” Michael tilted his head, fiddling with his headphone cord between his fingers. Jeremy scoffed.

“She’s embarrassed to be seen with us. Isn’t it obvious?” Jeremy scoffed. He was frustrated with himself thinking that you’d ever be with someone like him.

“I mean, maybe. But like, when she first met us, she liked us.”

“Michael, she realized we’re losers! Can’t you see that?” Jeremy was gripping his bag with so much feeling, his knuckles were a pale white.

“Something…something is up. I’m gonna find out” Michael insisted.

“Whatever,” Jeremy huffed.

——————————-

You walked through the hall, Chloe going on about something that you tuned minutes ago. You hadn’t seen Jeremy in homeroom or Michael on the way to English, and it worried you.

“What about you, [name]?” Brooke asked, yanking you violently back into reality. Luckily, your SQUIP was paying attention.

“The Gucci belt,” It said as if it were obvious.

“Oh, totally the Gucci belt,” you nodded with a smile.

“Good choice!” Chloe gave a nod of approval, and you almost audibly sighed with relief.

If only you could have heard your headphone-wearing friend behind you.

“[Name]!” Michael grabbed your wrist, and you jumped a little.

“Where did you come from?” You asked with concern, telling Chloe and Brooke you’d meet with them later.

“You’ve been ignoring me all day!” He snapped, eyes full of anger and disappointment.

“I haven’t seen you all-shit,” you whispered. “The op-opti….” you murmured.

“Optic….o-optic nerve blocking?” Michael stuttered in a hushed tone. Your SQUIP growled, sending a shock through your body. A seal confirmed Michael’s thoughts.

“How did you…” You were cut off as he dragged you into the school utility closet. “What the hell are you doing?” You asked, immediately being hushed. Michael whipped out his phone, swiftly tapping out a message and shoving it back in his pocket. Within minutes, Jeremy practically fell through the door.

“Did you really buy premium? How did you even-” He asked eagerly before realizing you were there. Blushing, he reminder himself to get back at Michael later.

“What is this about?” You squirmed as another shock ran through you.

Jeremy went as pale as the white wall behind him.

“Holy shit! She’s…she’s squipped.” His heart fell. How long had he known the real you? “Listen, [name], I need you to tell me about this last month or so,” Jeremy instructed in a calm voice, taking your hands in his.

Confused as you were, you obeyed. “I moved here to Jersey from Omaha, Nebraska,” you nodded slowly, “and I’d just bought a little pill for my anxiety. A little gray one,” you explained.

Michael and Jeremy’s faces grew more concerned and horrified with every syllable.

“When I came here, I had friends. All I had to do was listen to the voice in my head. It was amazing!” You were shocked again, and Michael had to start thinking quickly.

“We have Mountain Dew Red at my house. We’ve got to get here there ASAP,” Michael whispered to Jeremy, who nodded.

“I met you guys, and I loved hanging with you guys, but-” another shock- “My SQUIP wouldn’t let me,” you gripped Jeremy’s hands tighter, the pain becoming worse.

Knowing you guys needed a quicker solution, Michael ran out of the closet without a word, leaving you and Jeremy there by yourselves.

“You don’t have to talk anymore if it hurts,” Jeremy reassured you, releasing your hands and wrapping his lanky arms around you in a hug.

You felt content and secure as you returned the favor.

Michael flew in, and you and Jeremy flew apart awkwardly.

“Drink this!” Michael insisted, holding out a flask. Tilting your head back, you chugged, coughing as you finished.

“Was that-”

“Alcohol? You bet. Jake had a flask on him, thank god” Michael nodded.

“No! You’re ruining your chance at happiness, you cannot simply-” The SQUIP began ranting before it turned into some incoherent foreign language.

Jeremy pat Michael on the back. “Good thinking, my dude.”

“Now come on!” Michael ushered you two out the door, practically sprinting to his car. “We’ve gotta gooooo!” He said impatiently.

You weren’t feeling well, so you climbed in the backseat to lay down. Jeremy offered to stay back there too, to make sure you were alright. Laying your head on his lap, you smiled weakly.

“How do you know so much about the SQUIP?” You looked up at him. He looked like an angel with the lighting of the window. Granted, you were a little tipsy.

“I, uh..I used to have one myself,” Jeremy admitted. “It almost like, destroyed mankind. Not good,” he chuckled lightly.

“Really?” You asked, surprised. He nodded.

“I wanted to be cool,” Jeremy shrugged.

“I dunno if it’s worth it. I didn’t get to hang out with my buddies that I liked the most,” you confided. “Or the guy I was kinds into…”

Jeremy’s heart sank. “For real?” He asked, silently moping. You nodded, giggling a little.

“He’s a cutie!” You sat up, head now on Jeremy’s shoulder.

“I bet.” Jeremy frowned.

“What’s wrong?” You looked at him, noses centimeters apart.

“[Name], you know, I just…” He was too frustrated to finish, instead deciding to lean forward and gently press his lips to yours.

Shocked and estatic, you eagerly pulled him closer, roughly deepening the kiss. Jeremy smiled, happily reciprocating.

“Can you guys not conceive a child in the backseat of my ride? Thanks.” Michael laughed, and your faces reddened as you muttered an apology.

Opening his garage door, he went to his mini fridge and pulled out a bottle of Mountain Dew Red.

“This is like, a lifestyle you’re giving up. It’s for the good of the world, though.” Michael nodded, giving you the bottle. Looking at Jeremy and Michael, you knew what your new life was gonna consist of, and it didn’t seem bad at all. Taking two sips, you put it back on the table and gave a thumbs up. ——-

You still had all sorts of friends, but made your boyfriend and best friend a priority. The three of you were inseparable, and the only other shock you’d gotten that year was when Jeremy asked you to prom.

[englishknightsky]

Perfectly Imperfect

Her phone pinged three minutes before she got off work, only reading ‘Come to my place’, she wasn’t expecting much from Eduardo for Valentine’s Day but she felt a little bit excited at the text. 'Maybe he’s made dinner, or he’s bought flowers.’ She thought as she changed out of her work clothes and into her hoodie and leggings, she bid goodbye to Kim and Katya, still on the clock, and left through the back door to her scooter. As she drove down the road she hoped he’d like the present she got him, he’d complained about his watch going missing months ago and she knew he was too lazy to buy another one, so she’d saved up and bought him a classy black Armani watch. The house came into view and she stopped, shut off her bike and kicked out the kickstand, the street was nice and friendly but she still locked up her wheels as a precaution. As she walked along the stone pathway up to the front door she heard faint music, it was slow, calm and sweet piano music that lulled her, once she got to the door she pushed down the handle and stepped in, no need to knock when she knows the guys well enough.

“Eddie?” She calls, poking her head into the archway into the living room. “Upstairs!” He calls and she makes her way past the living room to the stairs, red petals trailed up every single step and she felt a warm feeling in her chest as she ascended. The landing was dark, and the only light was coming from the bathroom, where the petals led, she eagerly pulled off her hoodie and discarded it just outside the slightly ajar door. “You’ve made an effort.” She smiles as she enters the small bathroom to see her boyfriend in the tub already, resting against the back and grinning up at her. “Well, it’s Valentine’s day, I heard you liked all that sappy romantic shit.” He shrugged, trying to play it off as nothing special, but Laurel knew him well and also knew that he was a lazy man, so anything too exhausting was out of his comfort zone, he’d basically performed a Jesus like feat in her eyes.

“I guess my present is complete crap compared to yours.” Laurel takes the velvet box from her handbag and hands it to him, his eyes are wide as he opens it and sees the watch, even gasping out a quiet 'Woah’ as he runs his fingers along the cool metal. “W-who’d you have to kill for this, huh?” He’s acting cocky again but she can tell it really touched him. “My wallet.” She giggles and hangs her handbag on the coat hook behind the door, she unbuckles her belt and slides it off slowly, looking back to wink at Eduardo as she does. “Heh, that’s it, nice and slow.” He grins cheekily and Laurel huffs. “I’m not your whore!” She laughs but continues to disrobe, first her leggings, then her socks and finally her t-shirt until she’s stood with her back to him in lacy, black underwear, she’s never seen him so flustered as he looks her up and down. “That’s different.” He says, reaching out a wet hand to touch her waist when she slaps it away teasingly. “You can look, but you can’t touch.” She winks and slips out of her underwear, Eduardo’s heart is beating faster than a hummingbird’s as she settles down into the tub and lays against his chest, the water burns her legs a little as she leans back but it’s not a big deal. “Hey.” She sniffs the air. “Is that lavender?” Eduardo nods and runs his hands over her hips. “Your favourite, right?” Laurel nods eagerly and splashes his face, his eyebrows twitch and he closes his left eye as the hot water hits him.

They lean back into the blissful warmth with soft sighs, Eduardo's hands reach up to tangle into Laurel's long, azure blue hair and she smiles. "Oh Eddie, I lo-" There's a gust of cold wind and suddenly the scented candles all extinguish and the room goes dark, neither of them can see and fumble to get out of their embrace and out of the tub, Laurel gets out fairly easy by grabbing onto the towel rack and Eduardo attempts to follow suit. Instead karma decides he's not redeemed himself yet and he slips, tumbling out of the bath into a wet heap on the floor and grabs at his ankle, there's a red mark where he banged it and he suspects it's more than just a regular bump judging by the searing pain he feels, Laurel immediately jumps into action and slips her arms under his legs, being sure to be mindful about his ankle, and helps him to his room, placing him ever so gently onto the bed. He takes a moment to hiss and gently pull his hands away from the already flourishing bruise before looking up at his girlfriend sadly. "I'm sorry I fucked everything up." He sighed and pulled his knees up to his chest to rest his chin on them, Laurel sits beside him and puts one hand on his back. "Eddie, you didn't ruin anything, you are a wonderful boyfriend." She smiles and presses her lips to his forehead. "But I-" "Gave me a wonderful Valentine's day. Now get dressed and I'll take you to the hospital." She kisses his lips, leaving a faint pink mark. She turns to retrieve his clothes and he watches her go, and as beautiful as her body is, her heart is more beautiful.