#bought condoms for the first time in ages on the ~very off chance~ he ever wants to fuck

[depravedangelbaby]

looool ♡

[80s4life]

God Help Me*

Word Count: 2,306

Status: Not Requested!

Fandom: Orange Is The New Black

A/N: Just watched some more of oitnb and felt that Joe was an underrated character. So, here's something dirty for the dirty dog!

Relationship: Joe Caputo x Female Reader

Summary: (Based loosely on S3:E7 (”Tongue-Tied”) where the new recruits for security are supposed to be getting the 40 hours of training, but denied by the new employers. Specifically, when Bayley makes his mistake with the pepper spray incident, Caputo is outraged, in the need of a break. Luckily, you know how to ease his tension.

Warnings: language, age-gap pairing, against laws, forbidden, smut, retardation name calling (once, not me though, a line from the show!)

Taglist: @intersellars-the-networks-of-eve @snapessecretdiary

Masterlist Orange Is The New Black Masterlist

{gif is not mine, credits to @thompsonconnors}

"What the fuck was that?" Joe Caputo asks, confused and struggling to keep up with the messes every corner he turns. "You assess the situation and you respond with the appropriate level of force! And you never, ever, ever discharge your weapon unless it's absolutely necessary!" he continues, not done just yet. "And if you do, and that weapon happens to be pepper spray, you better damn well make sure you're upwind!"

Bayley, the new recruit, alongside Donaldson, a long-term member of this prison, look down, ashamed of themselves. Blinking their eyes every so often, the pain in their eyes searing with the combination of the regret in how they got in this position in the first place and the stinging pepper spray.

Motioning towards Bayley, Caputo continues with his mantra, "You are a trigger-happy knucklehead who just got out of diapers," now turning his attention to Donaldson, "But you, how could you let this happen?" he finishes, exasperated.

Donaldson, finding some courage, fires back, "Sir, with all due respect, I'm not a nanny." He may have screwed up, but he is not putting his life on the line for an idiot.

"No! You are an officer with 20 plus years' experience, and your job was to impart some wisdom on fucking Baby Huey over here!" Caputo spits, motioning towards Bayley once more.

"Well, this is what happens when you put untrained officers in gen pop," Donaldson says once more, although very quickly and almost fearfully. As if he were a child talking back to his parents.

"You don't think I know that? I fucking know that!" Caputo says once more, placing a hand over his head, letting out a tired sigh as he walks back behind his desk. "Bayley, I should be firing your ass," he motion towards the young man with two pointed fingers.

"I know," is all he manages meekly.

"But, it's your first day, so I'm gonna chalk this up to mental retardation. If you so much as look at an inmate wrong in the next week, you're out of here!" Caputo motions with a "whoosh." Now looking Bayley up and down in disbelief, he catches the small paper taped to his chest as well, "Take that stupid fucking name tag off."

As the men nod once more, he finishes with, "Now go! Get your asses down to medical and get an eyewash. And read the stupid fucking manuals!" he grunts, shaking the book in question and slamming it on his desk as the officers leave.

Throwing himself into his chair, he almost considers kicking and flailing around like a child in order to let off steam, but he is quickly denied the chance as you knock and burst through his office within a second.

“Sir.”

“What is it now?” he asks quietly, a hand holding his head up by his chin, fingers covering his now closed eyes.

“Well- uhm- well...” you continue, quite nervous as you don’t know where his hostility had come from, you being unsure whether it was your doing or not. It was uncharted waters you weren’t sure on stepping into or not.

“What. Is. It!?” he yells now, eyes wide open, hands clutching the ends of his armrests. Making you yelp and jump a bit, taking a few steps back into the doorway.

Seeing this reaction, he sighs once more, taking in your wide eyes and slightly tense posture, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell. It’s been a long day, okay?”

“I-I understand sir.”

“How many times have I told you to call me Joe, or Caputo if that’s what floats your boat?” he says, an attempt to coax you out of your startled state.

“I’m sorry s- Caputo. I only wanted to tell you that I bought ya’ something. A little gift, I guess.” you say, a blush tinting your cheeks.

“What? You didn’t have to get me anything!” He smiles now, relieving you, and bringing a smile to your own features at his now somewhat upbeat mood.

“Well, ya’ know...I remember you telling me about a band of yours, right?” you ask.

“Yeah,” he smirks, looking back at fond memories and the new ones with his new band.

“Well, since your style of music was rock, and I just so happened to be in the area of a new music store, I found some goodies there!” Pulling a seat in front of his desk, you grab the wrapped presents from the waistband of your belt, having hidden it behind your back in attempt to completely surprise him.

He smiles at your childish antics, lightly taking the wrapped good from your small, delicate hands. Unwrapping the smallest one, he finds a box underneath the covers. Opening it, his smile grows bigger as his eyes meet a black guitar pick, a skull etched into it and painted white. 

His eyes meet yours for a second, a fondness there, looking back down once more as he admires it. “I love it,” he says after a second.

“That’s not all!” you say, excited now as he already likes one of the things you’ve picked out for him, pulling out a medium-sized present next. You take this sudden change of attitude as a sign, wanting to hopefully ease the stresses the guards and staff have been taking, especially Joe.

Taking it from your hands once more, your hands make contact, the blush on your face intensifying a little more. Unwrapping the present, he finds a black bandanna, his band name printed onto it, matching the guitar pick. He giggles at this, tying it around his head for your view.

You laugh as well as you go to hand him the biggest and last of the presents, his eyes lighting up once he finds what it is. “Nu-uh! You didn’t! This must’ve cost a fortune!” he almost yells now, a genuine leather guitar strap in his grip as he jumps up from his seat.

“No, actually they gave me a little discount on it. It took a lot of searching to get the one you’ve been specifically looking for, but the guy said I was cute- anyway! I just thought you needed these since work has been beating your ass,” you say, smirking lightly.

“You didn’t need to do this,” he says, settling back into his seat as he grasps your hands lightly, still star-struck as he looks at the strap still in his hand.

The gesture was innocent, but as time goes on, you blush a deep red, him still not letting go of your hands. Noticing this, he goes to pull away, clearing his throat, standing, and straightening out his suit. There, you notice a slight tent in his pants, igniting a flame in your belly. 

“Well, thank you Miss Y/L/N, these were very nice...”

“Anytime...” you say slyly, dragging on your words as you stand as well, not bothering to fix your pants as it sticks tightly to your ass and thighs. 

He looks down, gulping as he takes in your curves he usually tries to ignore, clearing his throat once more as his eyes meet yours. Only now did he realize the close proximity between the two of you, you intending to lean in and fix his tie. As you do so, he grabs your hand, pulling it away, “Don’t tempt me. You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into.”

“Oh, I’m pretty damn sure I do,” you say as you pull him down to your height by the tie, pulling at the base of his neck, kissing him now. 

Breaking apart for a moment, you make your way around the desk, perching yourself atop it as you pull him between your legs, kissing him once more. Tongues fighting for dominance, you tease him, sucking on it, and nibbling on his lips. He growls, the tent now very evident in his pants, the tightness an annoying constriction.

He pulls away once more, going to lock his office door, having placed a ‘On a lunch break’ sign above his name. Making his way back over to you, his lips attach to yours once more, moving to remove your weaponry belt. You do the same, unbuttoning the top of his dress shirt, moving to leave kisses, bites and hickeys. 

Continuing your attack, you move your hand to his belt, working quickly as he unbuttons your shirt, exposing your constricted, perky breasts. He grunts once more, adding to your eagerness as you finally get his belt out of the loops. Now both full of impatience, you unleash his cock, him doing the same for your breasts and pants. Completely removing everything from your being, leaving your half-unbuttoned shirt.

Not wasting time, he starts to work your clit, moisturizing ever bit of you as he collects it and moves his finger in all the most special parts, lubricating your core with ease. You grip his cock, teasing it as you run your finger along the slit at the top, precum already oozing. Looking him in the eyes, you notice his golden browns now a dark chocolate eyes, admiration sparkling them as he looks back at you. 

You moan as he enters a finger into your core, soon adding another as you loosen yourself for him. Finally, when he deems you ready, he reaches into one of the desk drawers, pulling out a condom. Motioning to him, he hands it over, letting you take over and do the honors. He simply places both arms on either side of your form, caging you in his embrace, smirking down at you.

Finally, once the condom was rolled onto his member, he goes to line himself up to your entrance, tip placed right at the beginning, not crossing the threshold just yet. “Are you sure?” is all he asks, wanting consent.

Knowing that this is wrong, you contemplate your options. You have already thought of the many ways he could take you, having been attracted to the older man for many years. Looking him in the eyes, you nod, “I’ve wanted this for too fucking long.”

With this new reassurance, he thrusts deeply, not giving you a chance to adjust just yet, pushing in and not stopping until he’s bottomed out. Taking a breath, you relish in the familiar sting of being stretched out, leaning back on your elbows for a minute. When you’re finally ready, you grab onto his shoulders, nodding once again. 

He starts slow, not wanting to hurt you, but, as you bite his pulse point, he jumps, taking the hint. Pounding into you mercilessly now, you moan and scream loudly, meeting his thrusts with the same momentum and speed, wanting this just as much as he does.

Instead, wanting to hold onto this feeling for as long as you can manage, you busy yourself with admiring and teasing the man before you. Specifically when he switches positions slightly, hitting your g-spot, your hands find their way into the tiny tufts of hair remaining on his balding scalp. Tugging lightly, he groans, pounding harder.

“Fuck!” you choke out, “I’m gonna cum! Joe! I’m gonna cum!”

“Just hold on a bit more, I’m almost there!”

Using his hands, he moves one to your clit, rubbing hard circles, intensifying the pleasure. You moan, the pleasure almost too much for you, settling for leaning your head on his chest. The chest hair tickles your nose, making you giggle between whimpers, kissing him there every so often.

With all your strength, you try to maintain your composure, the knot in your stomach begging for release. But, as you feel his dick twitch, the veins touching every inch of your walls deliciously, you couldn’t hold on any longer, milking his cock. With the sudden tightness and feeling of warmth bursting against him, he continues to thrust just a few seconds more, riding you through your orgasm as he meets his. 

As he slowly comes down from his high, he sighs peacefully, placing his head underneath yours and in the crevice of your neck. You kiss the top of his head as you take his weight, leaning back on your hands, one wrapped around his neck. After a moment, as he now goes soft within your being, he pulls out, disposing the condom.

Smiling, the two of you joke and throw clothes at each other as you get changed again. “So what are we now, Joe?”

“Well, it’d be fucked up to say nothing after mind-blowing-sex, now wouldn’t it?”

“I guess...So does that mean we’re together?”

“Do you want to? I would’a thought a young girl like you would want someone who can keep up with ya’?”

“I mean yeah...but they aren’t you, Joe. I want you,” you say honestly.

“Shit...” he mutters, smiling now, “This is the best thing that’s happened to me all day.”

“Is that a ‘yeah’?”

“Hell yeah it is!” he says happily, “Now how about round 2?”

“You’re on Old Man,” you say giggling, hopping into his lap on his desk, kissing him once more.

However your giggling and kisses get cut short with a knock on the door. You sigh, getting off of him not and making sure your clothes are straightened out.

“I guess not...” you say defeated.

“Well...Not right now,” Joe answers, going to the door, giving a sly wink as he opens it. 

Work is only temporary, you know this. You’ll get all the time you need with him tonight.

[yeojaa]

up all night.

inspiration:  “i'm sorry I keep staring, but you're really the hottest thing i've ever seen in my entire life and i don't know what to do about it.”

i’ve never written for joon before so please don’t burn me at the stake! 🥺 this is dedicated to @sahmfanficbts and ty mucho to @salvejoon​ and @moonmintrails​ for reading through this for me 💖 part two will be forthcoming!  

pairing.  knj x f!reader.  rating.  general.  tags.  mc is a recreational drug user (nothing hard!  just gummies!) and there’s mentions of like, boning and booze.  but generally, just a warm n soft fluff piece.  wc.  1.1k.

The neighbourhood bodega is your happy place.  

It’s where you go when you’ve had a long day at the office and want to drown yourself in six different types of Ben & Jerry’s, the likes of which it always has in stock and in all the flavours you want (Cherry Garcia, Half Baked, Peanut Butter Cup).  It’s where you go when you’re too lazy to make dinner and want to inhale a perfectly made, smooshed down deli sandwich piled high with all your favourite accoutrements.  It’s where you’ve cried quietly, standing in the snack section after a terrible breakup.  It’s also where you’ve, perhaps, spent too much money on beer after an impromptu decision to wake up with a pounding headache.

It’s somewhere that’s seen you grow up, from your shitty pre-teen days - when you’d had that godawful fringe and those ugly sneakers your parents had bought from the Super A Mart in Chinatown - all the way to now, with your slightly cuter shoes and significantly better hair.  It’s watched you grow as much as your family has, a figurative presence in your life that’s shaped you through the years.

It knew when your time of the month was and how much chocolate you ate when it came around.  It knew the sheepish way you’d scuff your toes when you were buying things you shouldn’t:  beer using a remarkably bad fake ID when you were fifteen, cigarettes during a brief stint during your first year of university, and condoms when all of your friends had started fucking like rabbits and you didn’t want to be left out.

All of that to say, your neighbourhood bodega knows you well and with that comes the uneasy acceptance that someone else - someone with a heartbeat and a brain and big imposing shoulders - knows you just as well, if not better.

Kim Namjoon.  Son of Mr. and Mrs. Kim, card-carrying pantydropper, and the guy you’d harboured a crush on for the better half of your adolescent years.

You weren’t really sure when it’d happened - just that it’d followed you from the tender age of thirteen when you’d first gotten flustered over his big dimpled cheeks and slow, tight-lipped smile.  It didn’t matter that he was four years older than you - now an astounding twenty-eight - or that he’d witnessed you embarrass yourself since you were old enough to stick your own foot in your mouth.  You simply couldn’t help it.

He was cute in a way that snuck up on you, that you didn’t need reminding of but that presented itself at the strangest times.  

Like when you’d be half-baked and stocking up on munchies, dressed in running shorts and an oversized tee shirt because you were too lazy to change into anything else.  He’d flash that goddamn smile of his as he rang you up, biting back laughter when he’d scan the fifth bag of Goldfish.

Or when he’d catch you huffing and puffing at absurd times, lungs heaving from having jogged all the way from Crown Heights station.  He never had to ask what you needed - would only silently pop the locked door back open and let you in to get whatever you seemed so desperate for.

You knew they weren’t the best impressions - little facets of your wayward personality presented like a whirling dervish - so you’d never thought more of it.  

After all, he was Kim Namjoon and you’d heard about all the ways he broke hearts.  Never on purpose, fortunately, but with increasing frequency since you’d started running in the (surprisingly) same circles.  He was as unattainable as the specialty imported chocolate on the top shelf of his parents’ bodega - always enticing but terribly out of reach.

Which is why you’re gaping at him now, a not-very attractive fish out of water.  

“What?”  You’re not sure whether it’s the fact that you’ve got one AirPod lodged in your ear, but you don’t trust what you’ve just heard.  It makes zero sense, like 400-level mathematical equations.  You were a political science major, for crying out loud.

When Namjoon responds - in that confident, measured way of his - you have to focus hard on the words.  “I asked if you wanted to get drinks with me.”  

Drinks.  With him.  With Kim Namjoon.  The Kim Namjoon.

You feel like your brain’s short circuiting and not just because of the THC gummy you’d taken right after work.

“You… want to get drinks?  With me?”  You know you must sound a little stupid - though you swear you’re not and you think, despite all signs pointing to it, Namjoon doesn’t believe so either.

He laughs as he bags up your purchases:  candied almonds, a bag of sour Skittles, chocolate milk, and three things of chips.  The sound keeps you occupied, wholly focused on the way it echoes out of that big cavernous chest of his and battles the lofi that’s playing in your ear.  You wonder how someone can be so effortlessly charming.  

It probably has something to do with your crush.

“Is that so hard to believe?”  He spares you the sympathy, instead offering a playfulness you’ve never seen up close and personal.  It feels nice - sun-warm and organic, like spending a day at the park.  

You decide in that moment - in your oversized boyfriend jeans and big sunglasses pushed up in your hair, with your absurd amount of goodies resting on the counter between you - that you want more of it.  You want more of Kim Namjoon, even if you’re unravelling his mysteries as you go.

“I guess not.”  

“So, drinks tonight then.  10 PM.  I’ll meet you at your place.”  There are no further questions - just statements that pop off his tongue and sink comfortably beneath your skin.  It feels good, if not a little strange.  You’re still trying to wrap your mind around the fact that this is happening.

Your lips move before you have a chance to stop them, words tumbling out in a haste you attribute to your high but that seem more like nerves.  You hate that it makes you sound so uncertain because you know you’re funny and you sure as hell know you’re cute, but it feels like you’re a little leaguer facing off against Jose Canseco.  “Can I ask why?”

He shrugs - an impressive roll of his shoulders beneath the plain white cotton that hugs him in all the right places and makes his skin glow honey gold against it.  “You're really just the hottest thing I've ever seen in my entire life and I know I’ll hate myself if I don’t do something about it.”

You thank your lucky stars for the Kim’s bodega then.  You promise you’ll never visit another one for the rest of your life.

[elle-imagines]

Hello there! Can I get a hc about the mlqc guys and their first times (not with MC but in general. How old they were, if they were nervous, etc. Can be fluff and/or nsfw)

Mr Love: Queen’s Choice First Times

~1800 words

NSFW Below!

Kiro

Kiro lost his virginity to his partner since highschool, during the beginning of his stardom (maybe 19 or 20). Like him, it was fun, awkward, and something he can look back on and smile at. It was at his newly bought apartment, celebrating alone with video games and high-calorie snacks.

He was very excited, and this enthusiasm made up for his nervousness. Like everything around Kiro, he manages to make it warm, inviting, and somehow hilarious. Kiro didn’t hesitate to do something they asked, whether kissing or touching them where they wanted.

His performance anxiety definitely pervaded the bedroom, so there was constant questions of “Did that hurt” or “Am I doing good?” throughout the night. A few times his partner had to tell him to slow down, since overzealousness isn’t exactly pleasurable. Although he was nervous about how well he could do, he was a fast learner and knew to continue doing what they liked if they showed a reaction towards it.

A few mishaps here and there, an elbow digging to hard on someone’s back, hitting his head on the headboard, and missing the mark when it was time to put it in. Of course, he laughed off his embarrassment which made the atmosphere more carefree.

Unsurprisingly, he has great stamina (and virility). Even though it was his first time, he wanted to try different positions that was obviously out of both of their ranges. On the table, on the floor, standing, him under them, vice versa. Kiro is apparently well-read in sex-related lore, and was impatient to try some things that looked like it felt good. I’m sure his partner had to persuade him not to bring food in once (or twice).

With his stamina and great dexterity, he didn’t have trouble finding a pace and keeping it without growing tired. He definitely had them bent out shape, and it’ll only get better the more time it goes on. Besides that, his passion and urge to pleasure them and be receptive to pleasure it what made the night fun. Kiro’s always been an open-minded and go-with-the-flow kind of person, which relates well to easing anyone’s nerves and making something nerve-wracking fun.

Victor

• Victor was the oldest out of the boys when he lost his virginity, around 23 years old. He focused on his education and being productive, not really caring for other aspects of his life until he tried dating for a short while. The person he was dating at time was someone he knew for a long time, and more than likely met through an internship or shared class.

He wasn’t the first to bring up sex; they were. This is not to say it wasn’t on his mind. Victor’s mind always had a penchant for preparing for different avenues and possibilites, including in his personal life. He’s aware of the typical progression of relationships inclues some component of intimacy, but he felt it would be courteous to allow them to bring it up first. The two definitely engaged in foreplay and physical intimacy, allowing him to build a comfort for it.

Definitely the type of boyfriend to have a sit-down over dinner and talk abou protection and other protocols. At least he made it smoother by cooking dinner for them at his apartment. Victor is adamant about maintaining his partner’s comfort and discussing options for birth control.

A night when things began to heat up, he was very prepared for it. Way more than the average person. Silk sheets, plenty of condoms and lube hidden in his nightstand, and even flavored types in case they wanted to give him oral. Linen towels waited under the bed, and so did a change of sheets. Victor felt the more he prepared for difficulty, the less frantic he’d be on the inside.

Ever since he was a young, he had a great control of delayed gratification. He could wait for dessert his parents would double the amount. A bit of composure and restraint at an exciting business venture that could go wrong.Allowing you to orgasm once, maybe twice if he’s lucky, before he even thinks to release. He always had the power to control his nervousness, so it wouldn’t be detectable except for a minute frown or a second of hesitation. He lasted long his first time because of it, and he made sure they came before he did.

Although he was shy and apprehensive since this was a new experience, he forced himself to initiate and lead them. If they were nervous as well, he’s notice and stop immediately and hold them for a few moments. Victor wanted to ensure that they were safe with him, and his competitive streak wanted their experience with him to be one of the best.

Very receptive to their reactions. He’s a businessman, and always had a knack for nonverbal body language. The moment he hears a positive sound, he will exploit it even more.

Can definitely get a bit rough in the end with how hard he thrusted in to them, but still maintained the self-control to not hurt them.

Gavin

Gavin’s sexual experience is something he doesn’t really attempt to remember. It was with someone he was friends with, more of a respite than a slow experience, and the two felt their relationship wasn’t the same. Gavin was focused on finding you (MC) for years, and his endearment towards you didn’t stop even when he sought brief intimacy with someone else. He felt it was a weak moment, but knows that he shouldn’t let his first time mar the rest of what was to come in his love life. A bad experience is not a testament to the future.

The tryst happened at his apartment. An accumulation of frustration, a bad day, and many unanswered emotions brought Gavin and his friend together. A large part of him didn’t care, he wanted an escape from what is expected of him. For once, he wanted to have a day of insignificance and no greater questions. They barely made it to the bed because everything from him released the moment he shut his apartment door.

Foreplay was passionate, rough, and fast. He felt bruising against his skin and nails digging into his back. The brief shots of pain helped distract him from his distracting thoughts. He grew hard quickly, and felt ready to relieve himself of it, among other things. Gavin had to lucidity to prepare them and confirm if this was okay, which was replied to hastily. He, of course, was a bit clumsy and out of frustration his friend urged him to go ahead and do it.

Once he penetrated, he didn’t hesitate to go fast because he didn’t want this moment to last long. The shorter it is the less time he has to question if this was actually healthy. He wasn’t able to get an angle that was pleasurable for him, but at their pleasure he kept going. Since it was his first time, he came prematurely. Feeling guilty, he pleasured them again and listened to what they liked in order to get them to orgasm.

Briefly, they stayed up and talked to each other about the difficulties they were facing in their lives. Gavin felt that the talk they shared had the vulnerability and intimacy he actually craved, rather than the sex. When they parted ways he didn’t see much of them again until there was no contact complete.

He took the encounter for what it was, and learned that he desires a partner who can know him and trust him fully. He tells himself that he will find that in the future, eventually.

Like Victor, Lucien was dedicated to his studies and didn’t prioritize relationships like the average person his age. However, he gave himself the chance to date and decided to pursue something with a barista he’s grown to know at his favorite cafe. Out of everyone, he was the oldest at 24 to lose his virginity, but he did it with such class and composure you’d think he lost it awhile ago.

A researcher, he naturally questions the way things are. He rejected the labels that surround sex and relationships in general, and made it clear to his partner that he wanted their relationship and its pacing to move on their terms, not society’s. When he felt ready to have sex, he indirectly made his desire known, but he didn’t want to push his partner at all.

When it came time to actually have sex, he was nervous, in a way that came from a fear of failing them. However, throughout he his his nervousness like he hides everything. He wanted to be calm so that they could be calm. He hid it so well that when he revealed that he is only going on theory, his partner was surprised because Lucien is doing very well. He developed his lover’s comfort by lighting candles, taking a shower together, and then just talking to each other about anything for a long time. It relaxed the both of them before they were ready.

Very adept at taking what he learned, judging if it was viable or not, then utilizing it. He skipped over what he read on “dirty talk” and decided to focus on ministrations and erogenous zones that can trigger a stronger orgasm in them. Lucien is very patient and felt that foreplay was the most enjoyable part because of the diversity it allowed. Oral, massaging, mutual masturbation, he was eager to try what he read to the point his lover was ready for the next stage.

At times he would be very silent and become detached even, since it helped him get away from his overactive mind. He isn’t loud in bed at all, but he showed how quickly he was unwinding by the force of his grip on their hips or how hard he slams into them.

Lucien got his hands on some information on edging, and would push himself to the edge from pulling out. While working down from his impending orgasm he’d pleasure his partner during it. This happened a few times and allowed him to draw out sex longer than what would’ve been for someone’s first time.

He’d definitely allow a few jokes and laughs here and there, wanting this moment to be gentle and without any gravity or what-ifs. Lucien wanted to explore a new aspect of intimacy with his partner, and did not make it more nor less than that.

[honeymoonjin]

A/N: part of the Roll Deep series. Banner created by @jeonau, go show her some love xx In a desperate bid to cure your troubles in the bedroom, you and your boyfriend Jimin reach out to a famous dom on twitter that specialises in helping couples spice up their boring sex lives, Jay94. Warnings for sexually explicit content: threesome, exhibitionism/voyeurism, pet names, sub!Jimin, sub!reader, dom!Hoseok, being filmed w consent, double penetration, protected sex, unprotected sex (only one of them wears a condom), fingering, maybe a hint of cuckholding.  Word count: 5.9k

--

“You have the forms?” Jimin hands them to the young man enthusiastically. “Alright, age verification, STI tests, hard limits… This all seems in order. Give me a sec to go over these and I’ll be right back.”

The moment he leaves the hotel suite to sneak into the adjoined bathroom, Jimin jumps on you with all the eagerness of an overexcited puppy. “This is it, jagiya! It’s finally happening, can you believe it?”

You bite your lip, trying to steady your racing heart. “Not really… Jimin, when you suggested a threesome, this really wasn’t what I was expecting.” The truth was, you weren’t all that surprised when Jimin had come to you one night and proposed inviting another person in to bed with you. The two of you had always been complete matches for each other since the moment you met, but it seemed that chemistry had never really extended into the bedroom. The two of you barely bothered with sex anymore since it was just never good for either of you, and you had felt that frustrated tension rising in both of you for the past few months. “Honestly, I thought you were gonna ask if one of your friends could join in, not some random guy off the internet.”

Jimin’s eyes widen in protest. “It’s not some random guy, it’s Jay94! He’s one of the most popular nsfw profiles on twitter. Trust me, this is way better than any of my friends. He’s an expert. A sexpert.”

As nervous as you are, you can’t help the reluctant smile that breaks across your face. “You’re such an idiot.”

“You love me.”

You shake your head at his cheeky grin with a laugh. “If this goes downhill, it’s your-”

“Alrighty!” You jump a little when the door to the bathroom opens again and the man steps back in with an easygoing beam on his face. “Let’s get this show on the road, shall we?” You pout as Jimin pushes you over a little to leave room beside him for the man to sit down, the three of you lined up on the edge of the firm mattress. “First of all, just so you both feel a little more comfortable, my name isn’t Jay, it’s Hoseok, but please try to avoid calling my real name out in bed. If you do slip up, I can censor it out, but it disrupts the audio, so either use Jay or a title like sir or daddy.”

Before you can hold it back, you let out a snort at the way he’s speaking so casually about things. Jimin widens his eyes and whacks you, but Hoseok just shrugs, unbothered.

“I know it sounds weird now, but a huge part of what I do is to make sure all my companions are 100% comfortable and aware before we start filming. This isn’t a sex dungeon; you can laugh and joke around and ask questions as much as you want.”

You shift slightly on the bed. “Well, then… Jimin’s seen like all of your videos, bought some full ones and everything, he’s a big fan-”

“Y/n!”

“-but I don’t really know so much what’s going on. What do you, uh, normally do?”

Once Jimin collapses back onto the bed, covering his cheeks as they burn bright red, you can see past him to Hoseok, who gives you a reassuring smile. “Well, I don’t know how much your boyfriend has told you, but I specialize in providing help to those that have difficulties in performing sexually. Think of it like hands-on training, in the literal sense. I normally work with subs-”

“Subtitles?” you question curiously.

His eyebrows lift in bewilderment. “Submissives. Wow, he really hasn’t told you a thing, has he?”

Your eyes slide to Jimin as he sits up, leaning back on his elbows so that you can still see Hoseok. “To be fair,” Jimin protests petulantly, “I did tell her she could check out your profile at any time. She just chose not to.”

You’re ready to defend yourself, but instead of looking offended, Hoseok just grins even wider, eyes running down your body and back up again. Your cheeks heat up as he chuckles. “Well, then, she’ll be extra fun to play with.” The lust in his eyes vanishes as he snaps back into professional mode, and the duality has you feeling a little whiplashed. “Most of the time the people I film with are fans like young Jimin here, so they already have some awareness and preconceived expectations. Which on the whole is a positive thing, but I’m definitely going to enjoy the chance to introduce someone completely new into it.”

“See, jagiya,” Jimin interjects, “I told you this would be fine! All we need is a push in the right direction and our sex life will be fantastic after this!”

Hoseok laughs at your boyfriend’s eagerness, and the sound is carefree and high-toned. As irrational as it may be, you’re already finding yourself comfortable in his presence, even in this very odd context. “Alright, Jimin, let’s start with you first since you know what you’re doing. What do you believe your strengths are in bed?” Automatically, Jimin’s face turns to you for confirmation, and Hoseok tuts. “I’ll ask her to leave the room if I have to, Jimin. This is your question to answer. No rights and wrongs, just learning curves.”

You fight the urge to smile fondly at the rosy flush on Jimin’s cheeks as he looks down at the mattress, gone shy. “Um… I guess I’m good at trying new things? Uh, I’m a good kisser. I don’t know. I don’t think I have any strengths, really. I have the motivation and want to be better, but I just don’t know what to do.”

Instead of passing any comment, Hoseok simply nods solemnly and turns to you. “Do you have anything to add about his strengths, Y/n?”

You try and ignore the way him saying your name makes you warm up inside. “I agree with Jimin, he’s an amazing kisser. And he has a fantastic ass, the best I’ve ever seen.”

“That’s just because you haven’t watched 128B. His ass was better than mine.”

You crinkle your brow in confusion, but Hoseok apparently understands Jimin’s statement. “Ah, 128B was a fun time. He was a sports coach, though, not so good with taking instructions and listening to me.” His voice lowers to a honeyed drawl. “You’ll behave well for me, won’t you, Jimin?”

Jimin’s face goes blank and his eyes glaze over. He nods.

Satisfied, Hoseok lights up again and shifts out of that persona. “Anyways, that’s that, let’s move on. Y/n, your strengths.”

You swallow hard when the attention shifts back to you. “I can take risks; I can follow instructions. I’m eager to please. I think… I think I’m good at giving handjobs and blowjobs.” Jimin nods vigorously with a cheery beam. “Okay, yeah. I think that’s it.”

“Alrighty then,” Hoseok nods, “we won’t waste time with those, then.” Jimin’s face falls. “Jimin, what are Y/n’s strengths in bed?”

He pouts, slumping on the bed. “Handjobs and blowjobs,” he mumbles pettily.

Hoseok laughs heartily, clapping him on the shoulder. “You two can do as much of that at home as you wish, but this here is for working on everything but your strengths. Now, I think I might see our problem here. The two of you both seem to be naturally submissive, which might make things awkward in bed, as neither of you will automatically jump into a position of leadership. We’ll work on that.”

Spiel done, Hoseok stands up and starts checking out the cameras, stationed strategically around the room. Your heart begins to race. God, this was really happening. “Do we-” you cough a little to break the nervous lilt to your voice, “do we wear masks? I don’t want to be recognized…”

Without looking up, Hoseok quirks his head in the direction of the closet, in front of which is a large, splayed-open suitcase with a terrifying selection of sex toys, some you couldn’t even guess the use for. “Top zipper pocket has masks, you can choose. Cute ones, full-face ones, comfortable ones. Go wild.”

You make your way over on shaky legs. Pulling a general handful out, you hold them up to your boyfriend, who smiles cheerily and picks out a soft fuzzy pink one, a solid band with two slots for his eyes. You chuck it over to him, then choose a simple black one, not unlike a sleep mask, only with those same eye-holes cut out.

“Now, then,” Hoseok announces, now crouched on the floor, fiddling with a camera tripod, raising it higher, “the fun part. Kinks. Since the two of you don’t seem like overly experienced people, I think today can be about exploration and discovery.” When he straightens up, he goes over to the suitcase and opens a different pocket, putting out a mask rather similar to yours, but a glossy black latex rather than the cheaper fabric of yours. He puts it on and adjusts the straps as he continues talking. “Y/n, since you might not know, it’s important I tell you how important communication is. We’ll be doing new things, challenging you, pushing limits. I want you to go along with it as best you can, but the moment things get too much for you, or if something just isn’t arousing to you, please let me know. Similarly, be sure to tell me when something does feel good, or if you want more. Feel free to use the traffic light system. Green means go, yellow means slow down or pull back a little, and red will stop our proceedings immediately. This goes for you too, Jimin, of course. You both understand?” The two of you nod obediently, but Hoseok shakes his head. “Verbal consent. You both understand?”

“Yes,” you say, though it comes out husky like a whisper. Jimin speaks his agreement too.

“Alrighty, masks on, please. We’ll start rolling.”

In a hurry, you slip your mask over your head, adjusting your hair so that it doesn’t stick up, though you don’t imagine it’ll stay neat for long. Jimin follows suit, but takes it one step further by beginning to slip off his shoes and socks.

Hoseok turns back from switching on all of the cameras, and chuckles. “My my, someone’s eager. First things first, you know what you can call me, but I’m assuming you don’t want your real names being used.”

Your eyes widen. Fuck, you hadn’t even thought about that. “No, definitely not.”

“That’s okay, do either of you have a preference for a pet name?”

Jimin lightens up. “Oh, uh, I like being called baby boy. If that’s okay.”

Jimin had brought this up with the two of you before, and although you obliged, you always felt a little silly calling him that when you had automatically viewed him as the more dominant person in your relationship in general. Hoseok, however, clearly doesn’t have that prejudice, as he prowls over to Jimin, who still sits on the edge of the bed with his legs dangling over the edge and pushes himself between Jimin’s knees.

You’re taken aback, and more than a little turned on, by how predatory Hoseok looks right now, as he brushes Jimin’s hair back from his face and tips his head up. Jimin looks in heaven, letting his eyelids slide closed and his mouth part.

“Hm, is my baby boy gonna be good for me tonight?” Jimin exhales shakily and nods as much as he can in Hoseok’s grip. The elder smiles, and bends down to pull Jimin into a deep kiss. Your hips shift against the mattress at the erotic sight of another man claiming your boyfriend with lips, teeth and tongue. Even though it’s not happening to you, by the time Hoseok pulls away, breaking a strand of saliva with his tongue, you feel your heat thumping furiously in your chest. Jimin’s already-full lips are even more swollen and his eyes are lidded as he blinks in a daze. You want that for yourself.

Luckily, it looks like you’re going to get it, as Hoseok sets his sights on you and leaves Jimin’s side to stand in front of you. The black latex clings to his face, stopping just along his cheekbones, and it makes his eyes seem even more domineering. You swallow.

“No preference?” he asks. You shake your head wordlessly, but he just smiles and grabs your chin gently but firmly, turning your head up to face him. You feel your pulse throbbing in your neck, and you can barely breathe. You hadn’t felt this excited in the bedroom in a long time, and you hadn’t even gotten started yet. “Eyes on me,” he commands, “let’s let your body speak for itself, hm? Are you gonna be my baby girl? My princess? My whore? My kitten?” Without realizing, you suck in a breath through your nose, and a broad grin stretches across his face. “Interesting. I bet my little kitten wants a kiss like her boyfriend got, doesn’t she?”

You lick your dry lips. “Yes, please.”

“Good girl.” And then his lips are pressing against yours, and you feel like you’re being devoured whole, drunk on the sensation of his fingers tightening on your chin as his tongue explores every inch of your wet cavern. The nerves about being filmed go away under the drag of his teeth against your bottom lip, and you’re filled with a shameless need. You wanted this man to take every part of you, not just your mouth.

Too soon, he’s pulling away from you, letting you go. You sway slightly, feeling unanchored without his hands on you. You sneak a glance at Jimin, who’s biting hard on his lip, palming at the front of his jeans, where you can see he’s rock hard, straining against the stiff fabric. Jimin sees you staring and gives you a baleful look from under his eyelashes.

Hoseok, ever observant, notices this. “Do you want your clothes off, baby boy? Looks like you’re having a hard time.”

Jimin pouts and glances down, rubbing himself again. “Hurts,” he complains simply.

“Undress for me, then,” Hoseok commands. “Stand up in front of us and undress.”

Us? The moment Jimin hops up off the bed, Hoseok takes his place and sidles up behind you, tugging you back so that you rest on his chest, his legs on either side of you. You gasp at the way he moves your body for you, pulling it around as he pleases. His arms snake around under yours and rest on your thighs. Your ass is right against his crotch, and you can feel how hard he is.

Jimin pauses and stares in surprise. Standing awkwardly in front of you in his bare feet, he tugs at his shirt uncertainly.

Hoseok’s behind you, so you can’t see his expression, but it’s enough to make Jimin’s eyes go wide and glassy. His voice is stern. “Did I stutter? Undress. Slowly.”

You frown in concern, mouthing, ‘are you okay?’ to your boyfriend, but he nods lightly, grabbing the edges of his shirt and slowly slipping it over his head, revealing the unblemished skin beneath. His fingers slip down, passing over the little happy trail below his belly button to reach for his jeans.

Your breath catches when you feel fingers dancing around your throat, brushing your hair aside and tipping your head over slightly. Instead of his fingers, or his lips like you were expecting, the sensitive skin is greeted with a broad swipe of his tongue, and you let out an unbidden whimper, causing Jimin to freeze and Hoseok to chuckle throatily in your ear.

“Lesson one, anticipation and surprise. You know how you can’t tickle yourself because you know it’s coming? That’s the exact same for sex. Things feel better when you increase anticipation and change expectations. If I had just sat our kitten down and licked her, she probably would’ve cringed away and found it gross. But because I put her on edge, it felt good.” Hoseok’s teacher voice drops away to something darker. “Did I say to stop, baby boy?”

Jimin gasps and hurriedly unbuttons his jeans, before remembering to go slow, and gingerly slides them down his legs, hopping on one foot to get each pant leg off from around his ankles. Now only in his underwear, you can see that his straining erection has managed to slip out of the waistband of his underwear, the head peeking out the top of the elastic, smearing a pearly clear fluid on the solid plane of his lower stomach. You feel your mouth water at the sight.

“All the way,” Hoseok specifies, and Jimin takes a deep breath for slipping his underwear off, exposing himself fully to the two of you. “Now turn around and show me that ass my kitten loves so much.” Jimin blushes furiously, but turns around, crossing his arms over his chest for comfort. You and Hoseok both shamelessly drink in the sight. “Fuck, baby,” Hoseok groans, “she was right. That is the best ass I’ve ever seen. Come here, on the bed.”

Jimin’s cheeks are still pink when he turns back around and climbs on the bed, cock bobbing in the air, but his eyes are bright with the praise he received, and you can see that when he crawls further up the mattress, he sticks his ass out more than strictly necessary.

Hoseok taps your side, guiding you to move forward, so you assume it’s your turn to undress, but the moment your hands find the hem of your shirt, Hoseok stops you.

“Not yet,” he chastises, “I want you to undress me.”

You swallow hard as he gets off the bed, standing in front of you. You go for his shirt first, brushing the backs of your knuckles over his skin as you lift the black fabric off, tossing it in the same general pile that Jimin left his clothes in, before turning your attention to his jeans. You feel the weight of his stare on you as your hands hover shakily over his crotch, popping the button open. After unzipping them and sliding them off him, Hoseok kicking his shoes and socks away at the same time, the only item that remains is his underwear.

But just as you go to reach for them, you feel a hand on your shoulder. “Kitten,” Hoseok says in a low voice, “not with your hands.” The pressure on your shoulder increases, and you let yourself be pushed onto your knees.

Face to face with the sizeable tent in Hoseok’s briefs, you glance up at him one last time before getting closer, using your teeth to grab onto the elastic just on top of his hipbone, and dragging it down.

The whole affair takes longer than you were expecting, and you feel yourself go hot in the face with humiliation at the ungraceful act, wiggling your face side to side to try and pull it over the curve of his ass, switching sides as one would get stuck, but his hand stayed on your shoulder the whole time, and something deep inside of you was lighting up at the chance to do as he asked, thriving on that feeling of subservience.

Once you’re done, you sit back up on your knees, and reel back when his cock stands proudly to attention right in front of your face. He’s bigger than Jimin, although quite a bit less girthy, and although you never thought you’d say it, his dick is actually… pretty. A single vein runs up the side, and now that you’re seeing it head-on, you notice it curves slightly to the left, the head just beside his belly button instead of in line with it. You glance up at him with a question on your face.

He grins and runs his fingers through your hair, gathering it at the back. Your breath picks up in anticipation, but that’s shattered when instead of guiding you onto him, he’s tipping your head away. “What did I say? We’re not spending time on our strengths. Besides, you haven’t done anything to deserve this cock in your mouth. You haven’t even bothered undressing like the rest of us.” Your cheeks burn in indignation, but he just laughs at you, jiggling your head back and forth a little condescendingly before releasing his grip on your locks. “Come on, kitty-kitty, clothes off. No dilly-dallying this time, we haven’t got all day.”

He gets on the bed, not even watching you as he joins Jimin, who looks to be growing more impatient by the second. You stand up and pout as Hoseok throws a leg over Jimin’s lap and presses him down into the covers, reconnecting their mouths together to wetly make out with one another. Feeling forgotten, you rip your clothes off, eager to join in the action again, but once you hop up on the bed, fully naked, both men ignore you.

You sit back and cross your legs, awkwardly scratching at your arm, feeling horny and left out. You can hear the smack of lips, panted groans, and the guttural praises that fall from Hoseok’s lips, and here you are, untouched and unattended to. You awkwardly clear your throat, but the only reaction is Hoseok wrapping an arm around Jimin’s back and sitting them both up, leaving some room between them for his free hand to slip between and play at Jimin’s nipples, teasingly flicking and rubbing at the sensitive skin, swallowing up your boyfriend’s whines.

The noises are arousing, but you’re starting to get a little sick of it, of Hoseok drawing noises out of your boyfriend that you had never even heard before. “Jay,” you call, loudly enough that he can’t ignore you.

Hoseok grins against Jimin’s lips and doesn’t make any move to pull away as he replies, so that the sound is a little muffled. “Want some attention, kitten?”

You frown. “Yes.”

“Then take it.”

Cameras all but forgotten, and etiquette thrown aside, you huff and move up to them, pushing Hoseok away so that he falls back and bounces against the mattress. With one possessive move, you straddle Jimin and push him back down again, kissing him more deeply, more greedily than Hoseok did, reaching a hand up to bury in his hair and tug at the roots perhaps more harshly than you normally would have. Jimin reacts immediately, cock twitching under you as he keens.

“That’s it,” Hoseok praises with a voice thick with amusement, “that’s exactly what our baby boy needs. Someone to take control. Does it feel good, kitten? To take what’s yours?”

You pull back and sit up with a hand on Jimin’s chest, panting slightly. Your boyfriend looks up at you, blinking with wide eyes surrounded by fuzzy pink fabric, lips slick with spit. His pupils are totally blown out, and he licks his lips in wonder. “Yeah. It does.”

“Then that’s lesson two. It can feel good to take control once in a while, and power dynamics are fluid. You can be on your knees begging for cock one second, then making your baby boy writhe beneath you the next.”

You catch your breath and twist around to face him. He’s sitting up, one hand propping himself up, the other resting calmly on his inner thigh, though by the deep flush of his cock, you’re sure he’s just as desperate for friction as the two of you are. His mask is still perfectly in place, disguising the top half of his face, but the smug expression he wears is clear as day. “What’s lesson three then?”

He cocks an eyebrow. “Lesson three is testing limits.” His eyes dart down to where you’re still straddling Jimin’s thighs, spread out over him. “Do you think you could fit both of us at once?”

Reflexively, you shake your head quickly. “No way.”

Hoseok’s grin is catlike. “Should we try?”

You bite your lip, remembering the color system he had introduced. If it was too much, you could just call out yellow and he’d pull back. Hesitantly, you nod once. He tilts his head. Verbal consent. “Yes. I want to try.”

“That’s my good girl. Boyfriend gets first pick; baby boy, which hole do you want?”

Jimin, still flat on his back, pushes himself up to rest on his elbows. His eyes slide around the room: his cock, your pussy waiting just behind it, Hoseok’s cock, Hoseok’s face. He stays there, clearing his throat. “I, uh, maybe… maybe we could both go in her, you know…?”

You turn back around to Hoseok, who looks disappointed. Your heart sinks even as you feel yourself growing wetter at the thought. You hate him looking displeased. “That’s a great idea, baby boy, but how can you expect to fuck your girl right if you can’t even bring yourself to say the right words? Kitten, come here.”

You get off Jimin and crawl obediently over to Hoseok, who immediately grabs your hips and pulls you down against him, your back against his chest. With one hand pinning your arms and chest down, he slips his legs under yours, hooks your ankles with his, and then spreads them, pulling you with him so that you’re wide open and bare to Jimin, who pouts and pushes his hips against the mattress in search of friction.

“This, my dear baby boy, is a pussy.” With his free hand, Hoseok reaches down and slaps it lightly, making you jump in your grasp. His fingers slip over too, too wet to get any real friction, and you tip your head back over Hoseok’s shoulder when he buries two fingers deep inside you, holding them there. “I want you to repeat after me: I love my girlfriend’s pussy.”

Hoseok suddenly begins thrusting his fingers into you at a pace that has your toes curling. Instinctively, your thighs tense as they try to pull in around his hand, but his legs hold you open for him, and you’re helpless to do anything but take the brutal onslaught of pleasure he’s giving you.

Jimin sputters. “I- I love my girlfriend’s… pussy.”

“I want to fuck my girlfriend’s pussy.”

You whimper and shake on top of Hoseok as he pins you down and fucks you on his fingers. You hear Jimin swear under his breath. “I want to fuck my girlfriend’s pussy!”

“Good!” You gasp when Hoseok suddenly removes his fingers from you and pulls them up to his mouth, sucking on them like a lollipop, getting every last drop of you. You groan and go limp, feeling empty. “Then come fuck it.”

Normally, when you and Jimin had sex, he would painstakingly get you ready finger by finger, and when he finally took you, he would do it so slowly for fear of hurting you that you would reach a hand down to rub at your clit while he wasn’t looking, just to make sure you stayed wet. Now, however, he doesn’t waste time with any of that. Maybe it’s the safety net of those safewords, maybe it was Hoseok riling him up, maybe he was just too horny to think, but the moment he gets to you, using Hoseok’s thick thighs to keep himself steady, he lines himself up and pushes into you with one harsh thrust, snapping his hips with a grace you had only ever seen from him when he danced.

You cry out and clutch at the tops of his hands; the only things you can reach with Hoseok still locking your arms to your sides in his embrace. It’s a strange feeling, having one man holding you tight and another man fucking you, but your nerves are on fire with the feeling of being surrounded by them, every single one of your senses drunk on the two of them. That thick smell of sex, Hoseok’s proud chuckle in your ear, the way Jimin ground against your pubic bone with every thrust, hitting the underside of your clit and causing you to clench helplessly around him.

“Ji- fuck!” you cry, holding back from crying out his name like you desperately want to. Instead, you babble nonsense about how good it feels, eyes scrunched shut to fully drown in sensation.

“Stop,” Hoseok commands, but Jimin’s out of his mind, chasing that high, and he continues to pummel recklessly into you. “Stop or I won’t let you cum at all.”

Jimin growls, a guttural sound you’ve never heard from him before. “Fuck!” he complains, giving one desperate thrust before stilling inside you. You pant and go lax against Hoseok, feeling the wave of pleasure fade away.

“Don’t give me that attitude,” Hoseok scolds in a stern tone, “you were the one who wanted to share her pussy with me. Now, lie back and take my kitten with you.”

You whimper when Hoseok slips his legs and arm away from you, and you fall forward limply, crashing onto Jimin’s chest as he lies flat on his back. The move has him shifting inside you, and you grind your hips against him to feel something again, only to stop and jump when a firm hand lays a slap against your ass. Jimin groans as you clench automatically around him.

Out of seemingly nowhere, Hoseok produces a foil packet and rips it open, pumping himself a few times before slipping it on as he chastises you. “Wait your turn, kitten, don’t get greedy on me. You’ll have more than you can handle soon enough.”

You bite your lip and lower yourself fully onto Jimin’s chest so that you can arch your ass up to present to Hoseok. Although you had never even considered being taken by two men at once, you found yourself almost drooling at the thought of both of them inside you. “Please,” you beg pathetically.

Hoseok chuckles, and you feel his finger pressing into you, a tight fit around Jimin’s cock. “Patience,” he chastises, increasing to two fingers.

It’s torture, waiting for him to stretch you out enough. You know it’s necessary, but god, you just want him in you already. Finally, after he can comfortably scissor three fingers beside Jimin, he removes them and you feel the bed shift as he gets into place, cock brushing against your inner thigh.

He lines you up with one hand on his cock and the other splayed out on your ass, and begins to press in. The fit is snug, and you’ve never felt this split open before, but it has you open-mouthed, drooling on Jimin’s chest, unable to hold back the low moans that fall out of you with every inch.

“Color?” Hoseok checks in, and after you confirm it’s green, he rubs your ass comfortingly. “Having fun?”

“So good,” you groan, clutching at the sheets on either side of Jimin, feeling the muscles in your thighs tremble. “Fuck, so good.”

“How are you holding up, baby boy?”

Jimin has his eyebrows knitted and his eyes tightly shut. He nods stiffly. “Mhm. Good. Really good.”

Hoseok laughs breathily as he finally bottoms out. “Hm, I don’t think our baby boy is going to last very long. We better get a move on then.” And with that, he slides partly out and rocks back up into you. You cry out and pant against Jimin’s chest as Hoseok begins to fuck you, his front pressing against the curve of your ass with every thrust.

It’s too much. You can’t close your mouth or even think, but at the same time it’s not quite enough. You gargle in an attempt to make words, pushing a shaky hand down further to reach for your clit, hoping that one of them would get the message, and luckily your Jimin opens his eyes at the feeling of your hand pressed between you and reaches down to thumb at your clit.

You had told him once that many women couldn’t orgasm without clitoral stimulation and although he may have been inexperienced in other areas, he never forgot to provide that stimulation for you no matter what you were doing. You babble out a thank you, feeling your orgasm quickly approaching, more powerful and deep than it’s ever been before. “Close,” you manage to make out through moans.

Hoseok grunts in affirmation. “You gonna cum for us, kitten? Look, our baby boy is about to.”

You open your eyes blearily and glance up at Jimin, who’s started rubbing at your clit in a frenzy as he whines desperately, arching underneath you. You lower your head back down to suck at his nipple, dragging your teeth over, and he cums with a shout, spilling inside you.

You can feel cum running out of you as Hoseok continues to fuck you, and in the back of your pleasure-addled mind you wish he wasn’t wearing a condom so that he could fill you up too, and the thought of two men’s cum dripping out of your abused pussy propels you over the edge, and you begin to convulse under the overwhelming sensations hitting you like a strong wave.

Hoseok thrusts once, twice, three more times before he presses himself flush against you and groans, scratching your ass slightly as his fingers curl.

The three of you stay in a pile, all panting heavily, for about ten minutes. Your legs have gone numb yet strangely tingly, and they have no energy in them. Hoseok pulls out of you first, but extremely slowly, trying to let your pussy adjust to the empty space he leaves behind. When Hoseok lifts your hips up and Jimin falls out, you whimper at the strange sensation of your walls not closing in fully, still stretched wide open by the two cocks you had inside you.

As Hoseok quickly leaves to dispose of the used condom, you roll limply to the side, and Jimin’s hand finds yours, intertwining your fingers and holding on tightly. You turn your head to face him and smile dopily. “Thank you for talking me into this, baby.”

Even after the vigorous sex he had just had, Jimin’s eyes are bright and he beams warmly at you, squeezing your hand. “Thank you for saying yes. I can’t wait to take you home and fuck you again. Fuck that beautiful pussy of yours.”

Your cheeks flush, but you chuckle. “Oh, so now you’re a sexpert, huh? My beautiful pussy probably needs a day or two to recover, Jiminie.” Your face falls. “Oh fuck, the camer-”

“I’ve switched them off,” Hoseok assures you calmly as he walks back in the room. “You were both too fucked-out to notice. I hope you enjoyed yourselves.”

You let out a contented sigh. “God, yes. That was amazing. I wish I could do that again.”

Hoseok shrugs. “I’ve had plenty of people come back for a second-”

“Uh-uh,” Jimin protests, sidling up to you possessively. “I appreciate your help, Hoseok-hyung, but now that I know how to fuck her right, I can guarantee she’ll be too tired to come back again. She’s my kitten.”

[anastasiaskarsgard]

Can you do another part to touched about how his family would react to him having interest in a girl?

Megan thought about her kiss with Simon all week. She’d even catch herself grinning, absentmindedly touching herb lips. He was just so gorgeous, and tall, and took a real interest in what she said, like he was hanging on every word. He was a bit odd and she couldn't remember what he said he had, but it wasn't contagious she was pretty sure.

It wasn't everyday a guy that looks like a supermodel takes notice. Shes a nice looking girl, but a bit plain and low profile by choice. She preferred to blend, not stand out, but that also meant that people that do stand out (like Simon) didn’t notice her.

She really hoped he’d come in today like he did everyweek. Her Dad had told her not to get her hopes up, and that dating him would be a challenge, but he wanted her to stay a little girl forever, so she took his warnings lightly. She wasn't needed, since her Dad was better, but she wanted to at least hang out a bit and give Simon a chance to find her. Her dad gave her some work to do to pass the time and not look like she was waiting on him.

next thing she knew Simon was there and he had two people with him. One guy and one girl and they appeared to be a couple. Simon, was showing them various displays, and she felt very nervous all of a sudden. Her thoughts started to run wild with questions like ”what if he just ignores me?” or ”what if they don't think I'm pretty enough?”

She returned her attention to her work, although She couldn't really get anything done, because she was so preoccupied with her uncharacteristic insecure thoughts.

”Megan?” Simon asked shyly.

She spun around in her chair, standing up, and skipped over to Simon and waved hello. He awkwardly waved as well and then looked down at the floor. She wasn’t shy at all, but found his shyness adorable.

“Don’t be nervous Simon, I’m so happy to see you. Are you nervous?”

His beautiful green eyes flashed up to her and locked on to hers. He blushed and nodded.

”well that makes two of us. I was starting to think you were just going to ignore me,” she confessed.

”i could never ignore you.” he said matter of factly, looking at her like she might me crazy. He huffed his breath, causing his bangs to flutter.

She couldn’t help but be a giggly mess. She was trying to play it cool, but that was never one of her strong suits around someone she liked. She knew she was ridiculous to think it, but she couldn’t help but to think he was out of her league as well.

Simon truly was beautiful. He was at least 6’3” with a slim build, but built solidly, with broad shoulders and large hands. As impressive as his body was, it was his face that took her breath away. The first thing she noticed was his large quizzical green eyes that were very expressive. She could see what he was thinking and he had this openness about him that made her feel like he’d never lie to her. She had a thing for cute button noses on men, and if she didn’t know better, she’d swear he bought his from a doctor along with his full rosy lips. The more she considered his face, the more it became clear that he was literally gorgeous. His cheekbones were set high, and his chin was strong with a masculine dimple, and although he didn’t smile often, she’d seen a flash of dimples when he had. His teeth were perfect and most Boys their age had at least a couple skin blemishes, but Simon had none. He dressed really colorful too, which was refreshing since most guys wore dark colors.

“You could be a model,” she blurted out.

Simon looked at her strangely and then turned around to look for she assumed his friends, but then he tuned back to her.

“Do you eat pizza? It’s Friday and I would like if you came and ate pizza with us. Are you hungry?”

“I am almost starving now that you mention it.” She answered, staring at him patiently.

“Do you want to go eat with me and Sam and Jennifer?”

“I’d love to! That’s your friend Sam?”

“That’s my brother and he is my friend too. So yes. Jennifer is my friend too. I found her for him when his girlfriend left and ruined our equation.”

“Equation?” She giggled.

“The equation to make living together work. He needed a girl that balanced us out or it’d never work, but I found him Jennifer after Frida went crazy over no toilet paper.”

“I’m sure that’s a fun story.” She quipped.

Just then Sam and Jennifer came over and introduced themselves. Megan greeted them warmly, and found Jennifer to be bubbly and delightful. Jennifer asked Simon to go with her to help her understand something.

“She’s starving, we need to get her food.” He said seriously.

“I can wait a few more minutes, go ahead.” Megan responded. She could tell that Sam wanted to speak to her without Simon hearing, and Jennifer was the distraction.

Simon reluctantly agreed and folllowed Jennifer to the other side of the room, out of ear shot.

“So...” Sam started. “You like my brother?”

“I do. He’s very nice and sweet and handsome, what’s not to like?”

“And he kissed you last week? Two times and touched your face and arm?”

Megan blushed hard looking away, “Wow, you guys are very open with each other but yes.”

“He’s literally never done that and hates to be touched. Do you know what Aspegars is?”

“Not really. My dad mentioned he doesn’t like touching, he’s a bit socially awkward and he is incredibly intelligent.”

“A bit.” Sam laughed rolling his eyes. “It’s more than a bit.”

“Well I’m super comfortable in social settings in general, although I admittedly get anxiety over situations like Simon, not only because I like him, but I don’t want to do something wrong, or hurt him. I’m an empath. I think I make him pretty comfortable, and have an idea of what I’m getting into maybe.”

“I don’t know that you do. Simon is very particular. He does everything by a set schedule. This is the most he’s gone off his schedule in a year. He’s obsessed with circles, he normally never allows anyone to touch him. I mean even if me or my parents touch him, he may strike us. He has tantrums, he has to turn a light on and off 3 times, and he takes everything literally. Sarcasm escapes him and you have to mean what you say or he’ll think you’re lying. He’s also obsessed with space, and up until now, he’s shown no interest in the opposite sex. He actually has an aversion to emotional songs or movies. When he told me he had kissed the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen, frankly I couldn’t even grasp it. I half didn’t think you were real. He’s been hyper focused on you, so that’s another thing I need to warn you about. For lack of a better word, you’re his interest now, and he doesn’t half ass interests. He goes 100%. Are you getting all this? you look a little lost. Is it too much?”

“No please continue! I wish everyone I ever kissed came with this type of introduction and tips from their brother. I’m all ears!” She smiled at him encouragingly.

“Ok. When he gets very upset, he has a hard time coping and needs to do something to calm himself. He often likes to hide in a large can we have at home, until I can talk him out. If I’m able to stop him from going in there, he may twirl a hoop on his arm, or clean something. There have been many times where he has physically lashed out, for instance if someone touches him he’ll push them away or slap them. If God forbid someone tries to embrace him it’s really bad. Now I don’t know at all how that’s going to translate into a relationship, just be cautious or ask. Don’t surprise him.”

“Is that all?” She scoffed, sitting back down to soak in all the new info he just dumped on her.

“He’s not all bad. He is active and although he’s very blunt and has no filter, you know he’s never lying to you. If you want to come up with an excuse to back out, I understand and will back you up.” Sam said sympathetically.

Megan looked over at Simon who was explaining something to Jennifer, having what appeared to be, a normal interaction. He looked so assertive and passionate about whatever he was telling her, and then he glanced over and their eyes met. She couldn’t help but smile, and he smiled in return, waving his hand at her. She glanced over to Jennifer who’s mouth was hanging open and looked completely stunned. As Megan watched Simon make his way back over to them, she knew she should be apprehensive and this was not going to be easy or typical, but that was okay. She couldn’t help but think that maybe because she was his opposite, (being so empathetic and socially intuitive), that she could possibly balance their own equation. She had a maternal streak, and found the thought of being needed an attractive trait in a partner. She also was a bit insecure, and the fact this drop dead gorgeous guy that every girl in the room took notice of, only ever wanted to touch her, and will literally slap other bitches that try to touch him! That was almost as attractive as his face. Yes. She was definitely interested in Simon.

“Sam, I’m glad you told me those things, but I still want to see where this goes. I’ll be respectful, and I’ll research Aspegars to get more familiar, but I find a lot of the perceived negative traits about him, incredibly comforting and endearing. ” She said.

Sam was completely taken aback by her response, and after regaining his composure after a tick, smiled and felt a great relief. He had been mentally preparing how to deal with Simon after the girl ran for the hills when she was fully aware of the situation, but here she was. He felt he had done his part, and although he’d continue to be supportive, and inform Simon about aspects of a relationship that aren’t obvious, he had to step back and let nature take its course. Thank God condoms are circles he thought to himself.

“Ready to go eat everyone?” Sam asked. “You lead the way Simon.”

Simon hesitated, concentration painted on his face, before looking at Megan confidently. He reached out his hand to her, and she cautiously took it, allowing him to guide her.

Sam and Jennifer both had to suppress their utter shock, but were absolutely thrilled that everything was going so well.

Megan had a wonderful time with Simon, making sure not to touch him suddenly, and careful of how she worded things.

Megan heard the now familiar beep of Simons watch, letting them know they were onto the next activity, or point in the schedule.

“What does that beep mean?” She asked gazing up at Simon.

Simon was distracted by her eyes and how they appeared brown, but when he stood closer and really looked they were the darkest shade of green. His color green is uncommon, but he couldn’t remember ever seeing someone with her color. He knew the science behind eye color and hers didn’t make a lot of sense but here it was; Looking up at him.

“That beep was time to leave in the next 5 minutes. “ he stated.

“Oh,” she sighed. “Well I understand. Time prevents chaos, but I’d really love to see you again. Can I have your number or you take mine?”

Simon was very perplexed. He knew it was time to go, but he didn’t want to go and he didn’t care if they were off schedule. He did know that was a crazy way to think. Time was one of the most important aspects of his life, it kept chaos at bay! But he found his need to be near Megan outweighed his fear of chaos, and he was pretty sure he had feelings to blame for this. Normally the thought of feelings repulsed him, but not when he looked into her eyes.

“I have feelings for you.” He said abruptly, watching her reaction, pleased when her face lit up.

She smiled a big genuine smile that made Simon feel warm. “Can I give you a kiss goodbye?” She asked. “If not, then I totally get it, I just have feelings for you and— “ She rambled before being cut off by Simon wrapping his arms around her, and lowering his face to give her a passionate kiss. She gingerly wrapped her arms around his waist, feeling him tense up and freeze.

She dropped her arms and looked up at him apologetically but he relaxed a bit and grinned down at her. “It’s ok. It is nice when you touch me. Only you though.”

She lightly placed her arms around his waist again and leaned her head against his shoulder, closing her eyes, “Yes. Only you,” she whispered.

[anonymous-wolf22]

Fuck Yeah

1: Name   Kai

2: Age   22

3: 3 Fears   Fiance leaving me, never meeting him face-to-face, being alone with my thoughts

4: 3 things I love   My fiance, food/desserts, and animals ^^

5: 4 turns on   Hell, anything my fiance says to me, forced to submit, pain, and just looking at my fiance

6: 4 turns off   Talking bout my parents, my current life situation, thinking about a certain asshole, and my depressing thoughts seeping through

7: My best friend  That one’s hard.... It’s a tie between David and Kiana, though I’m leaning more towards David

8: Sexual orientation   Bi-sexual <3

9: My best first date   What first date?

10: How tall am I   5.1 ft   :’(

11: What do I miss   Triple Chocolate Fudge Cake

12: What time were I born   1:03 pm

13: Favorite color   Black, Red, Purple, and Blue

14: Do I have a crush   Yep :)

15: Favorite quote     I got lots

“It’s funny how someone can break your heart and you still love them with all the tiny pieces”

“I choose you. And I’ll choose you, over and over. Without pause, without a doubt, in a heartbeat. I’ll keep choosing you”

“The demons are back and stronger than ever. They are looking for a fight, looking to win, and this time, I might just let them.....”

16: Favorite place   Does in my fiances arms count if I haven’t been there yet?

17: Favorite food   They are all number 1 <3

18: Do I use sarcasm   Sometimes

19: What am I listening to right now   Criminal by Britney Spears

20: First thing I notice in new person   Hmm, the way they act, their personality~

21: Shoe size  Fuck, idk lmao

22: Eye color  Blue

23: Hair color  Dirty-Blonde  (Wish it was black)

24: Favorite style of clothing   I don’t know, I guess loose and comfy

25: Ever done a prank call?   Can’t remember

27: Meaning behind my URL   Don’t have one

28: Favorite movie   Fuck, uhhhh..... Deadpool 1&2    for now~

29: Favorite song   Lot’s,   Baby Don’t Cut - Bmike,   Anxiety - Blackbear,   Hold On - Chord Overstreet, and more fucking depressing songs <3

30: Favorite band   Hmmm.... Ramstein

31: How I feel right now   Eh, depressed, loved, horny, sad, upset, happy, it’s all jumbled up

32: Someone I love  My fiance~

33: My current relationship status   Engaged <3 <3

34: My relationship with my parents   I wouldn’t care if they died, not going to lie, I would do it if there were no consequences

35: Favorite holiday   Halloween ;o

36: Tattoos and piercing i have   Sadly, no tats yet. Only piercings I have so far, are my ears

37: Tattoos and piercing i want   Tattoo: A knife going through a skull with chains loosely wrapped around it   Piercing:  The tip of my ears

38: The reason I joined Tumblr   My fiance told me about it, and it was an easier way for us to chat with each other and send each other all of the dirty little naughty things we want~

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?   I don’t know if he hates me, but I don’t know if I hate him, I’m just fucked up and confused

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?   Sometimes

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?   Nope, but I hope to soon~

42: When did I last hold hands?   Hold hands? I think that was in 8th grade when my friend Kiana was dragging me away from the bullies

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?  Like 5-10 minutes

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?   Yep

45: Where am I right now?   In my cursed room

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?   Depends, where am I? In England, my fiance. Here? I don’t know, Kiana

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?   Depends on the type of music playing, and also what it’s playing from, like headphones.

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?   Unfortunately

49: Am I excited for anything?   2024 :3

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?   Yep

51: How often do I wear a fake smile?   Honestly? 97% of the time

52: When was the last time I hugged someone?   I don’t know, uhmmm..... think it was in 11th grade

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?   Well, that’s a hard one, cause I have yet to kiss anyone. But, say if it was my fiance, I would slap the shit out of whoever he is kissing, and probably shove a stick up their @$$

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?   ....

55: What is something I disliked about today?   No chocolate

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?   My fiance, I just want him in front of me and to hug him and never let go~

57: What do I think about most?   2024, Desserts, Fiance, Music, Pets, unfortunately, John 

58: What’s my strangest talent?   Uhhh.... Don’t really have any, I guess hiding how I truly feel inside

59: Do I have any strange phobias?   Is being deathly afraid of ants a strange phobia?

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?   Behind, 100%

61: What was the last lie I told?   That I was fine

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?   I don’t know, they both seem a bit weird to me

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?   Ghosts, yes. Aliens? I don’t know

64: Do I believe in magic?   Who knows

65: Do I believe in luck?   Sometimes

66: What’s the weather like right now?   Clear

67: What was the last book I’ve read?   A fan-fiction of RWBY

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?   Yesssss

69: Do I have any nicknames?   K

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?   My arm twisting completely around

71: Do I spend money or save it?   Save

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue?   Nope :(

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me?   Eww, fuck noooo

74: Favorite animal?   Entire Cat family and wolves

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?   Watching “Love 020″ on Netflix

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?   Hmmm.... I have no clue, never really thought about it

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?   Lots, but, definitely this one:   Dream of You - Camila Cabello and Battle Scars - Lupe Fiasco

78: How can you win my heart?   Be mindful of how I truly feel, care for me like no one ever has, be a dominant

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?   "I had so many battle scars from my war, but my love healed them away~”

80: What is my favorite word?   Chocolate

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr   @thelonewolf84  @we-are-beautiful-s0uls @britishdom 

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?   I don’t give a fuck what you think about who I love

83: Do I have any relatives in jail?   Yeah, my bio-father

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?   Invisibility

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?   What my thoughts are about my ex or how I feel towards him or what I would say if I was allowed the chance to ask him 1 thing

86: What is my current desktop picture?   I have it on shuffle, but currently it’s on a picture of an anime boy playing the piano in the rain

87: Had sex?   Not yet ;)

88: Bought condoms?   Nope

89: Gotten pregnant?  Do I seriously need to answer that?

90: Failed a class?   Yes.... I think

91: Kissed a boy?   Not yet ;)

92: Kissed a girl?   Nope

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?   Haven’t kissed anyone!!! Omg

94: Had job?   Not yet

95: Left the house without my wallet?   What wallet?

96: Bullied someone on the internet?   Fuck no!

97: Had sex in public?    -sigh-

98: Played on a sports team?   Yep, soccer and baseball when I was 8-11

99: Smoked weed?   Nope

100: Did drugs?   Nope

101: Smoked cigarettes?   Almost

102: Drank alcohol?   Mhm

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?   Fuck no! I want my bacon and kielbasa!!!

104: Been overweight?   Nope

105: Been underweight?   Currently am

106: Been to a wedding?   Yep, my aunts

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?   Yes lol, longer

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?    Yes lol, longer

109: Been outside my home country?   Not yet

110: Gotten my heart broken?   ....yes.....

111: Been to a professional sports game?   I...think so....?

112: Broken a bone?   Many, many times. I was very clumsy in my teens, I still am but have yet to break any bones so far

113: Cut myself?   Yes and yes, to both ways

114: Been to prom?   No, skipped it

115: Been in airplane?   -shivers-  Too scared to be in one, but I will have to when I go to England

116: Fly by helicopter?   Nope

117: What concerts have I been to?   None

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?   Yep

119: Learned another language?   Mhm, spanish

120: Wore make up?   No

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?    Still a virgin.....

122: Had oral sex?   Nope

123: Dyed my hair?   Want to

124: Voted in a presidential election?    Nope, fuck politics

125: Rode in an ambulance?   Yep

126: Had a surgery?   Mhm

127: Met someone famous?    Nope

128: Stalked someone on a social network?   Hehe....yeah lol

129: Peed outside?    I don’t remember if I have or have not

130: Been fishing?   Yes... My instructor ate the worms ;-;

131: Helped with charity?   Yep ^^

132: Been rejected by a crush?   Yep

133: Broken a mirror?   Yeah

134: What do I want for birthday?   Depends, which birthday? This year, Triple Chocolate Fudge cake. 2024, to be in my fiance’s arms~

[toasttz]

From the Tabletop X

Shit yeah! I'm totally alive! It's not that our games stopped or anything (though our D&D GM was ready to throw it all at the wall, he has decided to soldier on). Just that I've gotten wrapped up in other things. Like, uh, GM'ing! Yeah, remember, like, a year ago when I started this series and mentioned I really like Shadowrun? We kicked off a Shadowrun 5e game! So, today's special 10th-ennial extravaganza will be Shadowrun talk time, or me at the opposite side of the table. To begin, our players' runners: Troppo - an Australian who ventured to Seattle in search of work once a military injury (several lost fingers) had him on a medical discharge. His role in the party is infiltrator. Which gives him license to trivialize otherwise-challenging moments in my campaign by stealth-killing all the enemies I made for them. Later ends up dating a Johnson after a particular run. Still active as of this writing. Then there's Big Iron - our street sammy. An ex-cop who was put on indefinite administrative leave when she became known as Knight Errant's personal walking PR disaster - effectively the sixth world's version of the Demolition Man. However, as part of the conditions of this arrangement, she had to be on-call when KE needed her for anything. She became a runner to make ends meet and kind of became the Team Mom. And lastly is Clockwork. Clockwork is a decker who runs hot or cold - either hyper-compotent and hacking the planet, or getting thwarted by an OSHA-compliant stairwell (not joking about this) with no inbetweens. Rare flashes of brilliance illuminated the short and underwhelming career of a runner who, as of the most recent update, was sent to the hospital because his overweight girlfriend sat on his face. As the GM, I refuse to issue apologies or excuses. Mostly because, God damn man, you could've done SO MUCH BETTER! Oh yeah, I realize there is a canon runner named Clockwork. Well, we didn't know that going into it, so he got to fly under the radar on that. If he had actually hung in there, I planned on having the canon Clockwork troll him at some point. So, to start, we're all new and Sixth World is out of reach at the time (and debuting late at our local shops), so I decide to pitch the classic: a Stuffer Shack run. Seattle, 2080, early nostril-freezing early January. Big Iron goes into said Stuffer Shack, getting herself some snacks and condoms (in order not to look "lame"). The boy at the counter sleepily rings her up, just in time for Troppo - Spider-Manning his way up to a rooftop in order to eye a gang of elves acting shifty outside the store. This leads to the first glitch of the game - the elves glitch in their attempt to notice Spider-Troppo. Elf 3: Whoa! Look! That pigeon is fat! Elf 4: Who cares?! Focus! Troppo: Troppo sits in silence to watch these crazy elves, taking only minor offense at being called a fat pigeon. One of the elves goes around the side to start hacking the security (which isn't exactly top-notch), and the other three enter and declare themselves the "Daggerbacks" - an elven supremacy movement looking to expand the glorious empire of Tir Tangaire (and sucking at it). Big Iron attempted to take the high road and offered them a chance to reconsider this terrible decision, but they scoff at the offer and a shootout ensues. This goes poorly for the elves (and would've gone worse for them, had I properly read about how this system handles damage! Shadowrun is a ruthlessly kill-y system!) as Big Iron sends the three scattering, one diving for cover, one wounded who slumps into a wall, and the leader with a baseball-sized hole in his torso, blown backwards into the store's front door. He is then grabbed by a colossal, Troll hand, which firmly affixes to his head, causing him to drop his firearm in defeat. The owner of the hand is Oscar, a former coworker of Big Iron who "just so happened to be in the neighborhood" at the time and lent a hand in arresting them. Oh yeah, and Clockwork traced their network activity and arrived at the scene in the nick of too late. Troppo ultimately intimidated their decker into absolute surrender, lifting a coupon for "SUSHI RAINBOW - NOW WITH REAL FISH!" and his deck off him in the process, causing him to flee - claiming to never really care about the Tir - without deck but with soiled pants. The firefight inside dies down not long after. Cashier: You shot it, you bought it! Big Iron: Now's not the time! By sheer coincidence, the other elves had SUSHI RAINBOW coupons on them as well - my subtle shove towards a meet-up place. Big Iron and Troppo meet en route, having established they did work together in the past. Before long, we were all together, meeting at SUSHI RAINBOW, its owners being Japanese immigrants, Yoshi and Rinko Watanabe and their gyaru daughter, Honoka. Since we were playing with few players than normally constitutes a full runner team, I made a few NPCs to help fill any niches that needed addressing. Honoka was a technomancer and had skills like auto mechanic and gunsmith. And, due to an amusing typo (AKA: Clockwork's persistent illiteracy), a new team of runners was born: "Hey, guys! Someone's biting my runner handle!" complained Friend Octopus. "You really need to change it, dude," Observed Radical Larry. "You're one to talk," sighed Sexy Penguin. "All of you, shut up and focus. This bomb isn't gonna defuse itself and if it goes off, we'll lose the entire shipment of irridium discs!" scolds their leader, Disco Panda. Anyways, back in Seattle, we learn Yoshi and Rinko are retired runners who still have contacts throughout the city. Rinko agrees to bring the runners on on a regular basis, provided they assist with a little issue that's been plaguing them for a while: The Silver Knives. A gang of over-the-hill mostly-mages, who are going around and harassing people as of late in the area. I learned many of the foibles of GMs that day. On account the first leg of the run (a shoot-up down a narrow corridor/alleyway) was trivialized by Troppo Spider-Troppo'ing down on them and assassinating them. For reference, I use the dice that came in the Sixth World Beginner's Box - cuz they're super cool - and these geezers were glitching left and right. So, having made complete work of that, the runners got to the main event - a raid on their warehouse compound (where they would be paid for each of the gang necklaces of each head they popped) and were assigned an NPC shaman, Fallen Snow, an Amerindian Shaman who had a... very special master spirit. I used Shark from the core book as the basis and... well... Go to Youtube, and search for "Lumpy Touch Movie Sonic". Once again, as GM, I never make apologies. Except in one run. But that was only half my fault. Fucking stairs, man. Not even once. Well, I underestimated them again and, though the gangers had a numbers advantage, Troppo and Fallen Snow were stealth/assassin builds and Clockwork was given the rival in the form of the 1337 H@X0R, an elderly, experienced hacker who was learning computers before the previous Great Crash, well up to 2080. Fallen Snow then reveals her spirit as Wendigo (full name: Wendigo of the North), who proceeds to beat the hell out of and then subsequently eats the gangers as they go. Now, a small excerpt from our game: "Snow thrusts her arms out to the side as she glows dimly, as two disproportionately long, clawed hands extend up, then out, landing on the ground and pushes up a lumbering, terrifyingly large spirit. Its head is clad in a goat's skull, but its eyes still seem to bulge and protrude from the sockets, as if they are being squeezed. It has a massive set of jaws and ever-convulsing skin that paradoxically seems to hang limp off the spirit's frame. "HEY GUIYS!" the spirit announces itself in an echoing, unearthly voice, "I'm STARVIN' over here!" “Jesus fuck, Snow,” Troppo says under his breath, without taking his eyes off the sprawling enemies. "Wendigo. By our contract. Kill the Silver Knives. Oh, and don't swallow their necklaces. We need those," Snow demands. "Does that mean... WHAT I THINK IT MEANS?!" the spirit cackles. Snow sighs, rolls her eyes, and replies, "Yes. You may eat them. Don't belabor the point. We're in a hurry and outnumbered," “Jesus FUCK, Snow,” Troppo repeats, with greater emphasis this time. Clockwork gasps "Holy shit" Snow rests her eyes for a moment with a sigh. "When gangers killed my family... my magical 'spark' ignited. And I screamed for anything that would give me revenge. And I summoned a Spirit of Hunger," "OH BOY OH BOY, YOU GUYS! It's like a buffet line! Sure, the meat's tough and been under the heat lamp too long, but there's SO MUCH TO TRY!" Wendigo guffaws as his legs manifest and he rises to his full height. After Clockwork used his gun to off a guy in meatspace, Wendigo even pried, "Are you gonna eat that?!" with a sadistic laugh. Clockwork won (narrowly), just in time for the BOSS FIGHT to stomp in - a cybered-up ork with raw strength to spare. When he threw Wendigo across the warehouse, even Big Iron strongly considered the better part of valor. Boss: Well, well, well... I go out for one night on the town with the missus and I come back to find everyone in my branch has kicked their damn oxygen habit... Troppo: Well, to be fair, it's a bad habit to have. Everyone who has it eventually ends up dead. Boss: Too true. Too true. Especially in this day and age. So, you busted up my joint. Least I can do is tell you my call sign. Y'er, uh, runners, yeah? You got call signs, I wager. Mine, when I was a young man, was Wrecking Ball Big Iron: GET SOME, GRANDAD! (Proceeds to open fire wildly). Wrecking Ball: (Dodges, much to the team's horror). The old way it is, then. This was not a fight I had any intention of making easy on them. Hell, I was even going to give them the chance to use social combat to escape. But Big Iron cast the first stone and thus, the battle was underway. But with a bit of teamwork - and a review of how armor works in the game - they were able to beat him - and obtain a specially ranked insignia off his necklace with a color ranking - a green jewel. Rinko paid the team handsomely. The team then got the chance to go back to SUSHI RAINBOW and rest a while. Not long after, I assigned their next run - in what would come to be known as the COFFEE RUN. Join us there as we also DRAW DICKS ON MUSEUM WALLS! And meet a SUPERHERO TEAM! See you there!

[motherfucker-somewhat-limited]

1: Name

Sarah

2: Age

23

3: Fears

Everything, I have anxiety

4: 3 things I love

Dogs, weird movies, sunsets over water

5: 4 turns on

Long hair, facial piercings, good sense of humor, back muscles

6: 4 turns off

Poor hygiene, rude to service workers, adults who are still obsessed with Disney to the point where they make it a personality trait, Trump supporters (or the equivalent in other countries)

7: My best friend

@wanderingwondererofthings

8: Sexual orientation

Bi? I think? IDK not straight tho

9: My best first date

I’ve only ever been on one date in my life and the dude ghosted me afterward which turned out to be a blessing bc it was not a good time in my life to try to start a relationship

10: How tall am I

5′2″

11: What do I miss

Mental stability

12: What time were I born

3:45 am or thereabouts

13: Favourite color

black

14: Do I have a crush

celebrity crushes but I don’t really count those

15: Favourite quote

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

16: Favourite place

bundled up under a heap of blankets by myself in a dark room with good snacks and a good book/movie

17: Favourite food

chocolate

18: Do I use sarcasm

do i

19: What am I listening to right now

my housemate doing laundry

20: First thing I notice in new person

what they’re wearing

21: Shoe size

womens 7

22: Eye color

brown

23: Hair color

brown

24: Favourite style of clothing

love that goth shit

25: Ever done a prank call?

not that i can remember

26: Meaning behind my URL

adam darski’s true form

27: Favourite movie

Ink (2009) dir. jamin winans

28: Favourite song

UHHHHHHHHHHH

29: Favourite band

Eluveitie

30: How I feel right now

like shit lol

31: Someone I love

My friends

32: My current relationship status

single

33: My relationship with my parents

it’s good and i’m very grateful

34: Favourite holiday

the day after halloween when all the candy goes on sale

35: Tattoos and piercing I have

none

36: Tattoos and piercings I want

seriously considering getting my eyebrow pierced soon. if I ever cut my hair short i’ll pierce my ears

37: The reason I joined Tumblr

to follow an art blog that made amazing JTHM fan art

38: Do I and my last ex hate each other?

what ex

39: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?

yeah from my mom

40: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?

yeah it was my mom

41: When did I last hold hands?

yesterday with my grandma

42: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?

takes me well over an hour to actually get up but then like 3o minutes tops

43: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?

no

44: Where am I right now?

in my room

45: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?

i’ve never been that drunk because i hate hangovers

46: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?

reasonable level unless i’m at a concert

47: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?

not anymore

48: Am I excited for anything?

sexy eggman is coming to san francisco

49: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?

no

50: How often do I wear a fake smile?

basically whenever i have to talk to strangers

51: When was the last time I hugged someone?

yesterday

52: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?

my mom is allowed to kiss other people it’s okay

53: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?

i don’t think so?

54: What is something I disliked about today?

i’m tired of being tired

55: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

my soulmate

56: What do I think about most?

spirals of existential dread

57: What’s my strangest talent?

I have no talents lol

58: Do I have any strange phobias?

going down stairs. i’m fine going up them but going down them freaks me out

59: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

depends on my mood and whether or not i’m ugly that day

60: What was the last lie I told?

“I’m okay”

61: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

In person or don’t fucking talk to me

62: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

yes and yes

63: Do I believe in magic?

idk. i believe there’s things that happen that we can’t explain yet so maybe that’s magic

64: Do I believe in luck?

i believe in good chances

65: What’s the weather like right now?

dark

66: What was the last book I’ve read?

The Habitation of the Blessed by Catherynne Valente

67: Do I like the smell of gasoline?

yes as long as i don’t have a headache or stomachache

68: Do I have any nicknames?

just dumb shit my mom calls me

69: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?

worst acute injury was the time i tripped onto an outdoor heater in kindergarten and burned the shit out of my hand. i also have a stress fracture in my spine that will never heal from gymnastics but that happened over a matter of years

70: Do I spend money or save it?

i try to save but i spend a little too much

71: Can I touch my nose with a tounge?

with a tongue? yes. with my tongue? no

72: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me?

my fluffy pillow

73: Favourite animal?

take a wild fucking guess

74: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?

trying unsuccessfully to sleep

75: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?

Columbus

76: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

That Time of the Month by Harley Poe

77: How can you win my heart?

be a dog

78: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

ceci n’est pas un corps

79: What is my favorite word?

sussuration or cathedral

80: My top 5 blogs on tumblr

this is the internet equivalent of the judgment of paris

81: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

eat the rich

82: Do I have any relatives in jail?

not currently

83: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?

shapeshifting bitch

84: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

i’ll say anything on the internet i don’t give a shit

85: What is my current desktop picture?

86: Had sex?

no

87: Bought condoms?

no

88: Gotten pregnant?

no

89: Failed a class?

yeah, fuck ochem

90: Kissed a boy?

no

91: Kissed a girl?

 no

92: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?

no

93: Had job?

i’ve got one right now

94: Left the house without my wallet?

yeah lol

95: Bullied someone on the internet?

no

96: Had sex in public?

no

97: Played on a sports team?

i ran track for a couple years as a kid

98: Smoked weed?

yup

99: Did drugs?

no

100: Smoked cigarettes?

ew no

101: Drank alcohol?

yuppers

102: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?

no

103: Been overweight?

no

104: Been underweight?

yes

105: Been to a wedding?

yes

106: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?

only 5?

107: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

only 5??

108: Been outside my home country?

yes

109: Gotten my heart broken?

yes but not romantically

110: Been to a professional sports game?

many

111: Broken a bone?

nope

112: Cut myself?

not on purpose

113: Been to prom?

yeah and it sucked and i wish i hadn’t gone

114: Been in airplane?

yes

115: Fly by helicopter?

no but I want to

116: What concerts have I been to?

a multitude

117: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?

yeah lol

118: Learned another language?

can I give this one a half a yes?

119: Wore make up?

yup

120: Lost my virginity before I was 18?

no

121: Had oral sex?

no

122: Dyed my hair?

yes

123: Voted in a presidential election?

yes

124: Rode in an ambulance?

no

125: Had a surgery?

do wisdom teeth count?

126: Met someone famous?

yup, holla atcha doug jones

127: Stalked someone on a social network?

no, i don’t care that much

128: Peed outside?

who hasn’t?

129: Been fishing?

no

130: Helped with charity?

i’ve donated some money

131: Been rejected by a crush?

yeah but a) I never actually asked him out, b) we were 12, and c) turns out he’s gay so like i’m not made about it

132: Broken a mirror?

no

133: What do I want for birthday?

a new laptop

134: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?

why would i want kids

135: Was I named after anyone?

my great uncle and great grandmother

136: Do I like my handwriting?

i have no opinion on it

137: What was my favourite toy as a child?

legos or something similar you can build with

138: Favourite Tv Show?

UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

139: Where do I want to live when older?

somewhere near the ocean

140: Play any musical instrument?

i wish

141: One of my scars, how did I get it?

i only have acne scars and those are pretty self-explanatory

142: Favourite pizza toping?

sausage, bell pepper, and onion

143: Am I afraid of the dark?

no

144: Am I afraid of heights?

sometimes

145: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

no, i’m a good girl

146: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end

yeah, FUCK OCHEM

147: What I’m really bad at

being a functioning human adult person

148: What my greatest achievments are

not killing myself in college

149: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me

idk man i get upset by everything even when it’s not mean

150: What I’d do if I won in a lottery

pay off my friends’ and family’s debts, set aside a big chunk of money for grad school, maybe get my own place depending on how much is left

151: What do I like about myself

i have nice hair

152: My closest Tumblr friend

idk

153: Something I fantasise about

what don’t i fantasize about

154: Any thoughts on the paranormal?

hey demons come and get y’all juice

[firstdate-lastdate]

Define “Risk”

(Full disclosure In the interest of staying true to the title of this blog: the following events occurred over a period of FIVE dates. Yes, five. I try my best to listen to Maya Angelou, who said something like when someone shows you who they are on the first date, you should believe them. This leads me to very few second dates, even fewer third dates, and so on. Somehow this shmuck made it to date FIVE.)

I work at a restaurant a few days a week. It’s a popular spot for tourists, some regular locals, and the elderly. I don't mean people who could maybe be your parents or grandparents, I mean more like ancient human beings. So you can imagine my interest when someone under the age of 85 and remotely attractive walked in. He was tall, muscular, wearing a nicely fitted suit, but ... he was blonde. As a rule, I typically don’t go for blondes, but he was charismatic and had a nice smile. And to be fair, he was standing in a restaurant full of people wearing hearing aids and using flip phones. Safe to say he looked pretty good. 

He tried to ask me on a date for months, but I put him off, because I knew how awkward it could be for him if he blacklisted himself from one of his favorite restaurants. One day he texted me in the afternoon while I was out shopping with a friend. His office happened to be nearby, and he wanted to take both of us to lunch at an upscale Greek restaurant. This was the kind of place that’s featured in Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I’m in.

Never one to turn down a free meal, and a chance for my close friend to vet this guy, I say yes. On this spontaneous group date, his manners were impeccable. He did a great impression of someone who is considerate, funny, and respectful of others. My friend even gave him the green light. Sure, he answered his phone at the table a couple of times, but we were willing to overlook that. 

Second, third, and fourth date were generally uneventful. He took me to places that were popular on Instagram. We would laugh at the people around us who would stop their meal to pose for photos, check the photo, pose again, and repeat. He bought every Uber, every drink, and every meal. He never said anything unkind to me and asked me a lot of questions. Things were going suspiciously well.

( A quick interruption -- these series of dates took place during a time in my life where my health was compromised and my future was uncertain. I had a lot of appointments and procedures and scary test results going on every few days, so any distraction was welcomed. Anything or anyone to take my mind off the idea of my own body betraying me was a lovely retreat. Read: I. Was. Vulnerable. ) 

So whatever, I find myself casually dating this guy for a bit. He visited me the night before a big surgery and insisted on bringing candies. He took me out in my hometown (over an hour away from Los Angeles) and brought a nice bottle of tequila for my parents. During this time, we get to know each other. We discover each others likes and dislikes. On date three, I learn that he refuses to ride a roller coaster because he feels they are “too dangerous” and “too risky,” and he wants to live a very long life that does not end with a malfunction at Magic Mountain. 

Fine. Albeit illogical, and despite my love of rollercoasters, I respect that we have our differences. On date four, instead of taking an Uber, he drove us in his car. Instead of wearing his seatbelt normally, he placed a strange piece of plastic into the red buckle of his seatbelt. Naturally a curious person, I asked him what that plastic but was.

CNC: “It’s a device I got on Amazon that stops my seatbelt alarm from going off during the car ride.” Me: “So, you don’t wear a seatbelt? Ever? At all?” CNC: “No, that would wrinkle my shirt. So I can’t.”

I sat in silence for a while. It took a few moments to register what he just said. Yes, this man just told me that rollercoasters with all their safety components, designed by mechanical engineers, and full body restraints would be much too risky, but forgoing a seatbelt is just fine.

I couldn’t wrap my head around this logic. On date five, I agreed to sleep over at his place. He was living in a house that was scheduled to be demolished and a lavish one rebuilt in its place. But until then, he lived in an outdated house in the Hills with a killer view. And his dad. Yes, his dad was his roommate. He always referred to him by first name, but it didn’t make it any less weird. It was his dad. And this man was 32 years old. 

Fast forward to the end of the night. We’re in his bedroom, and I ask him to find a condom. He looks at me, straight-faces, and tells me, “I don’t have any condoms, because I don’t wear them. I don’t believe in them.” I thought this was a joke. I truly thought this was his attempt at humor. 

It turns out he wasn’t joking. This man, at age 32, has never worn a condom. I had never been more turned off in my life. He turned to every excuse in the book: everything from his sudden latex allergy, to his alleged erectile dysfunction (because he was “old.”) He even went so far as tell me not to worry, as “everyone has HPV anyways.” I pulled back, looked him directly in the eye, and said “Ew.” He wasn't selling me on this whole no condom situation. 

At this point, I was pissed. This was the most disrespectful situation I had ever been in, from someone who had been nothing but respectful up until this point. I could not believe he was so inconsiderate of my body and my health. I put on my pajamas, my eye mask, my retainer, and told him I was going to bed. I would have driven home, but I had been drinking. So I angrily went to sleep. 

Being the pushover that I am, the next morning I tried to smooth over the situation by poking fun at his erratic views on perceived danger. “You know, the irony is not lost here.” I said as he put on his socks. “You won’t ride a rollercoaster because they're too risky, but wearing seatbelts and condoms are perfectly optional?” 

He laughed softly to himself. He had no further explanation, and I didn’t need any further explanation. My feelings went from 100 to 0 in one sentence. He’s left me speechless, and not in a good way. He’s still saved in my phone as “Calvin*-No-Condom,” which I feel has a nice ring to it.  The only time I’ve spoken to him since was when he asked if it was okay that he come back to eat at the restaurant. The answer is no, and it never will be. 

*Name changed to protect the privacy of the sexually irresponsible.

[iamagarbagepotato-blog]

A Potato Appears [Part 1 of 3].

Just to put this out there immediately: this is **NOT** a ProAna/ProMia blog, and I do not condone or encourage any of the actions or behaviors I express in this blog.

Now that that’s out of the way; Hi. I’ll call myself Sophia, I’m 29 years old, study full time in college, work as a server/bartender, and I have been struggling with bulimia since 2014. I had stopped in 2015, but severely relapsed in 2017. The only people that know are myself and the counselors I saw in 2014, my dentist, and the therapist I see currently.

I wanted to start this blog because I do not feel brave enough in my external life to talk to any friends, family, my boyfriend, or even my general practitioner doctor about this problem. Mostly because while I am not severely underweight like I was in 2014 (in fact, I do have a normal BMI), my laxative abuse is real and I feel as if it is consuming my life to the point where it interferes with my work, my social life, and especially my current academic life.

 I’ll fill in some background information and clue y’all in; just be aware that it’s a novel... 

Humble Beginnings (2013-2015)

I was 23.

It was early summer where I was living in southwest Florida, and the weather was unrealistically hot and humid. I had just come home from a very expensive grocery shopping trip for my boss at work (I was a bartender for a popular Mexican restaurant in the area) for one of my other boss’ going away party. I was tasked with making boozy treats for the adults. I remember them vividly; champagne cupcakes, chocolate Modelo Negro cupcakes, strawberry margarita cupcakes, Corona cupcakes with lime and beer buttercream, and Blue Moon cupcakes (because why not?) with orange and beer buttercream. I had posted a selfie of myself about halfway through covered completely in flour and other baking messes when a guy I had known from my days of marching drum corps messaged me. Let’s call him Mike. I had always thought he was attractive and very musically talented, so I entertained his flattering messages, and eventually we hopped on Skype as I continued baking while he sat on his couch drinking Bud Light. 

He had made some forward comments; I didn’t mind because Florida had done my body good, even after my retirement from drum corps. He mentioned possibly coming up to visit him in Ohio, to which I said wouldn’t be a problem. He asked if I was serious, and I asked him if he was.. we set a date and I was off to visit Ohio two or three weeks later. 

Once I landed, things with Mike were awkward, at first... but they progressed fast and hard. After a couple of months of visiting, I decided to move there permanently. I was also offered a chance to finish my music degree (which was something I had put off since 2011 and desperately wanted to complete) and was offered a position with a small, local, volunteer orchestra. 

In early January of 2014, I had set out on the long 1200+ mile journey to move everything I could fit in my car from Florida to Ohio. I decided to not move in with him right away and instead lived with a roommate that was also a mutual friend of Mike’s, and she was dating the employer I had when I moved to Ohio. I was all set; I was working as a bartender, performing music on the side, meeting new people, and was set to start school in the fall later that year. I was dating one of the best musicians I knew that not only shared my love of orchestral music, but that of competitive marching music too. I was being shown off, and was enjoying life in a new city with new people. 

Well, in March my roommate decided to take a few months-long trip to someplace off the grid. I could not afford the apartment on my own and was still a bit too new to the area to scour for a new roommate on such short notice, so I hesitantly moved in with Mike, and that’s when things started to get a bit weird. He had noted that even at his age at the time (32), he had never had a girlfriend live with him, nor had he ever had a girlfriend longer than a year. We worked opposite schedules, him teaching mornings and afternoons, and myself teaching students in the late afternoon before working nights in to late night. He had begun to make a few comments about how I had put on weight for my first winter in three years and it started to get on my nerves.

His behavior became weird at this time; He needed attention on him at all times. One incident I remember in particular was after an orchestra rehearsal, we had gone to a bar with friends and a lot of people at the bar started talking to me (mostly about my instrument and about the concert program for when/where they could see it) and Mike just busted out his instrument and started playing so people would acknowledge him. Thinking about that now still makes me incredibly uneasy. It was around this time, I started thinking that he might have had a drinking problem. Each night I’d come home to a 30 pack of Bud Light gone in a day and a half, and I know that I don’t drink that stuff, even in my worst of states. Whenever we’d go to parties, bar performances, or comedy shows, he’d always be the one drinking. I didn’t think much of it at the time, but looking back now, I missed a lot of red flags. 

Around June, his comments about my weight had gotten on my nerves a bit more, and I was a bit on edge because I had started a second serving/bartending job a few weeks prior in a new upscale place. I became increasingly suspicious when he began concealing his phone. I’m not an overly paranoid girlfriend that wants to know your business, but his behavior became odd. I grew suspicious that he may have been talking to, or even seeing someone else while I was working two jobs and teaching my music students.

It made me think that it was my fault... that somehow with me becoming more and more unattractive was the reason he was being led astray. So I started running, and I started running a LOT. It was hard because, yeah, I was out of shape, but I also have asthma. I became frustrated when I couldn’t complete a time or distance that I wanted, and I’d punish myself for that by forcing myself to purge by vomiting. The first time was so hard, but seeing all the stir fry I had made and consumed hours before expel from my body and being flushed away gave me a sense of cleanliness. I was so glad to be rid of that. In my mind, I did deserve it. I would deprive myself of foods, and what little I did eat would be expelled when I could get away with it without suspicion. 

Eventually I did something terrible; I did look at his phone and did confirm that he was not faithful to me. I was a bit scared about whether or not I should confront him about this. Most nights when he’d be drinking, he’d become emotionally abusive and would become unnecessarily argumentative with me to the point I’d breathe a sigh of relief when he’d pass out on the couch instead of crawling in to bed with me. When confronted, he immediately pinned me as the bad guy by going through his phone. In retrospect, it definitely wasn’t the smartest idea, nor the most honest, but it gave me the answer I was looking for and confirmed my suspicions. He became angry and so irate and I don’t remember much of what happened next other than a series os smacks across the face and jaw and being pushed down on to the bed we once shared and had “relations” in just hours before. After he had yelled at me so much that his spittle grossly mixed with he blood on my face, he strangely apologized, got up, and passed out on the couch for the remainder of the evening. 

I layed there on the bed motionless for hours, thinking that this could have been avoided if I had just stayed thin. I didn’t know what to do; I had no friends that weren’t also his, I had no family (the closest was 6 hours away), and I had no money to run or go someplace else. I only got up that morning to shower and notice that one of my farther back anterior teeth was missing (and still is, but it’s hardly noticeable, but it is a constant reminder). To this day, I am unsure of my tooth dislodged because of the force he was using, or because the damage I had done to my teeth from throwing up so much. It remains a mystery. After he came to, we had agreed that until I found someplace else, I would have complete access to the bedroom and it would be my space and my space only. I chose this room because it was the only one in the apartment with a functioning lock.

I had felt pretty terrible medically about a week later; I had more severe cramps than normal and my menstrual blood was extremely heavy and different in appearance. I promptly went to the doctor to see what the problem was. Turned out that I not only miscarried at 8 weeks without even knowing I was pregnant because I was taking a birth control pill and we used condoms, but I also had a stomach ulcer. The physician noted the dramatic decrease in weight (140lbs in the winter to about 110lbs in mid-June) but noted it to be from the ulcer and the stress of the miscarriage. I had every opportunity to say that I was bringing and purging and refusing food; I could have said something about needing help in my dangerous situation... but I did nothing as he gave me a prescription for Effexor.

I became very quiet in the house, and was scolded often for not acknowledging his presence when I’d enter or leave a room he was in. He became so controlling and wanted to strip me of my privacy so much that he actually removed the door from the hinges so that the only privacy I had was in the bathroom. A few weeks of this and we’re finally in to July of 2014. He bought us tickets to see the baseball team play on the Fourth of July; which was a nice gesture and I went because I wasn’t working. I was very quiet because the Fourth of July is a somber holiday for me because my favorite uncle committed suicide on that day in 2006 and the memory still plays vividly in my mind every year. Around the third inning, Mike looked at me quietly watching the game, tapped me on the shoulder and said, “A few of my friends are here; I’m going to go sit with them.” Not long after, I gathered my things, hopped on the train, and walked back to the apartment only to discover that we only took one set of keys; his keys. So I sat at a bar for the next eight hours, watching the game, and glancing out the window to see if I would see him walk by so I could be let in. We were both very quiet after that. I had duct-taped a shower curtain on to the door frame just to have a small bit of privacy afterwards. 

About a week later, Mike had reconnected with a guy friend he only saw occasionally since high school. They’d drink together and from hearing their conversations and hearing the beer cans being thrown in the recycling box that they both had problems with controlling their alcohol. I am unsure of why I was so judgmental of this when I couldn’t control myself when it came to binging and purging on a daily basis. His friend would often make comments to him about trying to get us back together, calling me Mike’s “cute suburbanite girlfriend” in the process. I was probably a jerk for eavesdropping (but he took away my fucking DOOR so he kinda asked for it) but this was the only time I ever heard Mike admit to someone that he had a problem with alcohol; both of them admitted it to each other, actually. At this point, their conversation moved outside and I have no idea what happened next until the next morning because I had fallen asleep watching a film with headphones in.

I had woken up the next morning to the sounds of knocking on the door; it was one of Mike’s friends asking for his spare glasses. I was confused because I didn’t see Mike anywhere or any sign that he had returned from when he had been out with his friend the night before. Turns out, he and his friend had gone on a walk and had gotten in to a physical altercation. To this day, Mike claims that I somehow conspired to set it up, but after what had just happened to me, I would never risk any physical harm on another human being, especially maliciously and violently. In light of this, I immediately called my mother who lived six hours away for her to wire me some money so I could come home immediately. I stayed for a week while Mike stayed with his parents nearby in order to give my job some minimal notice and to cover all my grounds with our mutual landlord. 

When I came home to my mom, I was 102lbs and couldn’t bring myself to purge in her tiny home when she and her dog would hear me and investigate. I caught treatment silently through a local program, but ceased shortly after when my hectic life of working three jobs became a bit too much for me to worry about anything else. I thought I was free from bulimia.. until 2017 hit me like a ton of bricks.

Part 2 will continue soon... 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #163

i’m too tired to think of song lyrics rn.

Do you have a little sister? Yes. The last person you kissed, how many times have you cried in front of them?  In her actual presence, I think once? Over a phone or Skype, like... two or three times. Do you know anyone who has been arrested? Yes. Think a lot before you fall asleep? SO MUCH. It's part of why I struggle to fall asleep. Brain doesn't stop. Ever been the only one trying to fix a relationship? That's the story of my fucking life. Romantically, just once. Are you guilty of flirting too much? Definitely not. Did you ever set up a lemonade stand when you were a kid? No. Does virginity matter to you? Not really anymore, no. So long you gave it up to someone you sincerely loved and were smart about it. Do you know anybody who was abused? A few emotionally. Have you ever bought or sold something on Facebook Marketplace? No. Do you feel uncomfortable sharing drinks with other people? YEAH. The only case in which it does't bother me too much is when I've been a *truly* s/o with you for a while. Like if I'd go beyond just kissing you, it shouldn't be a bit deal to just drink after you. Is there something that happened in your past you hate talking about? Does anyone not, really? Is there a difference between just love and in love? YEAH. Are you good at admitting your problems? Pretty easy for me. How many times have you dated the person you’re with now? Once. Has your cell phone ever rung in class? No. Do you ever feel like just laying down and giving up? Not really anymore!! I get down, but I never have the urge to just give up entirely. Have you ever lied about your age? When I was younger signing up for websites lmao. Lied about your name? No. Do you sit on the mattresses in furniture stores? Sometimes. Are there some topics that you aren’t very open about? Maybe? It depends on the person. Have you ever had an encounter with a very dangerous animal? No. Have you ever fed a wild animal people food? I mean I fed ducks bread as a kid/before I knew it was bad. Would you rather die or eat another human being? Die. Some things aren't worth living after you've done them. Do you wish that animals could talk? Why or why not? YES!!!!!! BOTH SIDES COULD LEARN SO MUCH!!!!!!! AND PEOPLE WOULD CARE ABOUT THEM MORE!!!!!!!!!!!! Who did you last fall asleep with? Sara. Now your cell phone, what color is it? Dark blue. Who were you last in a car with? Nicole. What color was the last vehicle you were in? White. Have you had “the best night of your life”? Eh. Probably not. Toilet papered someones house? I'm an adult. Who was the last person you high-fived? Probably Aubree or Ryder. Or the girl Colleen watches. Do you own a romper? Noooo, not my thing. What does your computer’s slow-loading cursor look like? Blue circle. Would you rather have a trampoline or swimming pool? Pool. What was the name of the first porcelain doll you got? Oh fuck that shit, I was afraid of porcelain dolls and still am. Do you sell any products? If so, what? No. If not, do you want to start a business? Well I wanna be a freelance photographer. Have your parents ever crushed your dreams? No. Do you own anything cheetah print? No. Have you ever made a collage for your bedroom wall? No. Do you make DIY projects and gifts? No. Don't have the motivation. Owls or peacocks? Owls. Lions or horses? Lions. Is your kitchen floor black and white checkered? No. What do you make wishes on? Nothing. What’s the best natural pain reliever? Sleep. Do you like trees? Yeah! What’s your favorite Paramore song? "That's What You Get." What is your favorite color for bridesmaid dresses? LIGHT PINK. Happy and soft colors! Do you think you are pregnant? That's impossible. Do you like the ocean? Yeah. You wouldn't see me deep it there, but I mean, it's cool. Are you too shy to ask someone out? Apparently not. I guess. I asked Juan, Tyler, and Sara, BUT only because I knew they liked me. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute? YES I FEEL SAFE AND LOVED AND IT'S JUST CUTE!!!!!! Is there a high chance of you going out to the movies soon? Dad and I may go see another soon-ish, but I doubt it. We both think The Meg looks good. What are you listening to? I swear I go back to binge "Cool Patrol" by NSP like every other month. Have you ever dated someone longer than a year? Once, and I can pretty much guarantee this one's gonna hit that mark. Would you be able to climb out your bedroom window to sneak out? If I could open the damn thing. Can you taste the difference between brand name food and store brand food? Sometimes. Would you be embarrassed to buy pads/tampons/condoms? Which one more? No. Do you still own a VCR? No. Have you ever purchased Girl Scout cookies? Yeah. Do you own a nightgown? No. Who is one rapper that just always tends to get on your nerves? Why? I can't stand Kanye, because y'know, he's a god-complexed dick. Has anyone ever made you breakfast in bed? Were they trying to suck up? No. When will be the next time you’ll get a shot? What is this shot anyway? I'unno. When will you next eat tacos? Do you even like tacos, or not so much? I hate tacos. Do you know anyone who is pregnant? One of my very best high school friends recently revealed she is and I am soooo fucking excited for her. Would you or have you ever engaged in casual sex? If we were both single there is one (1) person I probably would fuck I hate myself like a lot and I am a hypocrite. What’s your favorite thing about spring? Just the flowers. And that's it. Have you ever tried belly dancing? If so, did you like it? No, & that would be a blinding display. Were you a part of any clique in high school? Kinda? The goths, emos, metalheads, and scenes all kinda. Naturally came together. Most knew everyone's names and we kinda had this unspoken bond with all the others. We always sat together at lunch. Have you ever given blood? Yeah. I'd actually like to do it again, I think, with me drinking a good amount of water now. Do you like the way you grew up? The only thing I'd change is I wish chores were more firmly enforced. I don't do them enough, and I'm approaching 23. Would you prefer to read or write poetry? Write. If you were to have a child, what would the last name be? Well, mine? But once married I'd definitely get it changed to Sara's. I will not doom her with mine lmao. Are you currently working? And if so do you like your job? No. Have you ever walked out on a job or just not showed up? No. Have you told your parents all of your secrets from when you were a teen? No. Would you rather be able to fly or walk on water? Fly. What’s the best club you’ve ever been to? Never been to one. Which sport are you the best at playing? I wasn't bad at basketball last I played. Do you know anyone who has gotten pregnant despite using contraception? Probably. Are you planning on buying a house in the near future? Not the very recent future. A house/apartment will probably be rented first. What was your favorite family vacation you went on as a kid? Disney World. What's something about you that others might find unpleasant or off-putting? I'm hard to get to know due to me fearing judgment. I can be very defensive if you push me to talk about some things. Have you ever kissed someone with a beard? Jason had more of a goatee sometimes. When you were younger, did you believe in Santa?  Yeah. Are you going to make your kids believe in Santa? I don't want kids. If I did however, I probably would. Have you ever made your own calendar? No. What foreign language did you take in high school? One semester of Latin, German for four semesters. Do your parents have gray hair? Yeah. What's your favorite Katy Perry song? Uhhhhh I guess "E.T." What was the last thing you did that made you feel proud of yourself? I haven't acted on it yet, but I made the decision that I would make a sincere effort to fight AvPD and be way more open about myself. What was the last significant and great thing that happened in your life? Met Sara. What is your favorite Starbucks' drink? I don't go there. Who are your last 3 missed calls from? Vocational rehab, Mom, Colleen. Do you like Skittles? Yesssss. Do you blow dry your hair? No. How do you like your eggs? Fertilized by Mark Fischfuck goddammit What song is the catchiest song you know? Hmmm. I suppose maybe "Bad Romance," because I can enjoy like, ANY cover, as well as the original. What is your greatest life accomplishment? Healing. Who is the last person you left a voicemail for? VR. Which is better: the Twilight book, or the Twilight movie? I haven't read any, never watched any. Do you enjoy crossword puzzles? Yes. Do you own any records? No. I wish. Something I'd love to collect. Who was the last guy you called? Dad, probably. You can only listen to THREE CDs for the rest of your life. What are they? "Black Rain" by Ozzy Osbourne, "Black Album" by Metallica, and "The Ascension" by Otep. What is the most unique or uncommon thing about you? Uh I dunno. I guess having blue eyes??? Idk. What happened the last time you were in a fight with someone? I cut her ass out and ignored her. Have you ever been in a physical fight? Who started it? No. What is your favorite type of kiss/way of kissing? Hardcore making out. Favorite form of affection in general/not sexual/etc? Hand holding. Or tight hugs. What do you think about anime? They have some of the most interesting stories, tbh. Who is the last person you unfollowed on Tumblr, and why did you do this? Someone whose posting content changed and I didn't enjoy, probably. What are some upcoming concerts in your town/city? The only one I know of and care about is Metallica in January. Is there any type of medicine you can’t take? For what reason? Not that I know of. Would you rather have potato or chicken noodle soup if you had to? Never had potato, but I don't think I'd like it, so. I don't really like chicken noodle, either. If something on your body hurts, which part is it most likely to be? My damn knees. Is Russian or Native American history more interesting to you? Native American. Have you ever put gum on the bottom of your desk/chair? I'm not an animal. Would you rather go to the movies, drive-in, or stay at home and watch a movie? Go to the movies. Would you ever be a race-car driver? No. What kind of deodorant do you use? Secret. Have you ever wished you were born the opposite sex? No. What was the last thing you spent a lot of time thinking about? I'm not sure. What do you think about astrology/the zodiac? If you used to believe/not believe in it, what changed your mind? It's absolute bullshit. What is one conspiracy you believe in? Or one you think is total crap? You literally cannot convince me 9/11 wasn't orchestrated by the government. Stupid one, lizard people. Where was the last place you didn’t want to go but had to anyway? Urgent care. When was the last time you yelled/screamed and why? I dunno. What was the last big decision you made? Do you think you made the right choice? Permanently, absolutely, kick Colleen out of my life. I know it was the right choice. What Hogwarts house are you in? What do you think about the “stereotypes” regarding your house? I took a quiz out of boredom before, and I got Hufflepuff, very closely followed by Gryffindor. However, some questions were hard for me, as I know pretty much nothing about the series. So, don't know stereotypes either. What is something you want to do, but you don’t think you’ll ever be able to? Skydive. Don't have the guts. When was the last time you left somewhere for forever (or at least don’t plan on returning)? Ha, mental hospital. What was the last thing you quit? Meat. Do you like to help people? How about animals? Which would you rather help, if it applies? Duh!! And I dunno, really. I see us as equal. I don't really know which I'd go to first if both were in a crisis or something. As an adult, what is the most and least you’ve weighed? I don't even want to say what I weighed at the end of '16. The least was ~120, what I'm desperately trying to get back to. @_@ What is something you like that no one else you know likes too? *shrugs* What is something you don’t like that everyone seems to like? Mexican food came to mind. Do you follow a particular diet/meal-plan/ethic? Currently I do a 16-hour fast every day and then I'm also a vegetarian. What is a subject you tend to avoid with other people, for whatever reason? Politics. What is the longest (or most involved) thing you’ve ever written? Well, RP. You put all the shit I've written together, and it'd probably be longer than the Bible lmao. Do you prefer to live with others or by yourself? Why is this? OTHERS. I GET LONELY. What scares you about getting older? Feeling the physical effects. What about something you’ve done that sounds too wild to believe? I don't think anything, really. What was the last thing someone made fun of you for? I don't know. Do you have a member of the opposite sex you’ve told everything to? Jason knew everything at the time we were together. What color hair do you find sexiest on the opposite gender? I like unnaturally colored hair most, so... but for "normal" colors, black. Who last slept in your bed besides you? Sara. If the last person you had sex with asked you to date them, would you? I would *actually* kick him in the dick if he had the audacity. If you could see any musician live, front row, who would you choose? Metallica with Mom. What is your favorite social networking site? Facebook for the sake of keeping up with people, Tumblr for entertainment purposes. Has anyone in your family fought in any of the wars? No. Has a stray dog ever tried to bite you? No. Are you normally a person to tell people off? Deeefinitely not. Do you even wear any jeans other than skinny anymore? I don't wear jeans anymore period. What did you talk about at lunch today with your friends? I'm not in school. Are you sensitive to caffeine? Nope. How do you usually get around? Mom drives me. Have you ever been accused of being too clingy? No, even though I know I'm very clingy. Do you like vitamin water? I've never tried it. Do you think too little or too much? Waaaay too much. Would you rather vacation by a beach or a lake? Lake. Do you ever keep arguing when you know you’re wrong? It can make me feel embarrassed, but in most cases, I'm quick to drop it. Would your mom care if she found condoms in your room? She'd be confused as fuck considering she knows I'm not with a guy. Are you ticklish? Ugh yes. What do you think of dating websites? They work for some people, but, in general, I don't think they're the greatest idea when you consider how many desperate people there are. Now yes, there's most certainly sincere ones, but. I think you'd have to do some fishing to find the right person. Which show is better: SpongeBob Squarepants or The Fairly Odd Parents? Duuuude the latter. Show was dope my dude. Think you could cut off your own foot if it meant saving your leg? To save my leg, I think so. Well... I dunno, I guess it depends on the situation. I'd be concerned about blood loss. What is the worst thing about having a pet? Knowing they'll die. Have you ever actually seen someone fall on a banana peel? No. Do moths freak you out? They're absolutely beautiful to me, but at the same time, the size of their eyes are a liiittle bit creepy. Did you ever cut your own hair when you were little? No. What is your favorite fruit? Strawberries. Who last messaged you on Facebook? Bethany to let me know when the new wedding date was. Have you ever had surgery or stitches? Both twice. Do you own any clothing that has animal print? No. Does your family eat dinner together? Almost always. What was the last video game you played? Silent Hill 3. Have you ever touched a shark? No. Do you prefer writing in print or cursive? I write mostly in cursive. Do you have any family traditions? Like what? Not that we still do. What is the best time you’ve ever had with your family? I'm not positive. Maybe some summer days when we'd all be swimming and cooking out together. What’s the scariest experience you’ve ever had? The night of the breakup. No overdose or panic attack or anything was scarier than when I realized he was leaving. What’s your favorite computer game? World Of Warcraft kms. What’s the biggest mistake people make on the first date? Just my personal opinion, but some people get sexual way too fast. If you're looking for an actual, long-lasting relationship, you have to connect more emotionally. Do you get turned on easily? It depends on who you are, definitely. Some people can't do anything, yet another person can do the same thing and I'm turned on in an instant. Do you still like to color? Not especially. What’s your favorite children’s show? Pokemon. Would you ever get band artwork tattooed on you? Metallica has some badass designs, but I don't know. Eh, actually, that may be something I'd get whenever my mom passes away considering her quote, "All I need in life are my babies and Metallica," and I think she means it lmao. No one loves them more than this woman. Is there someone you liked so much and nothing ever happened? The biggest crush I had that didn't go anywhere was on Sebastian in high school, but I don't know about "so much?" Like I wasn't desperate to be together. Has the last person you kissed met your family? My mom, Dad, and Nicole. Hopefully Ashley and the kids if her husband doesn't wanna be a homophobic shit. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? Just my dad. What is the one thing you remember most about January of last year? I was in the worst state of my life. Approaching my suicide attempt, so I was having the thoughts badly by that point. How do you think you will look 3 years from now? I better be a skinny legend with bomb-ass hair and more tats, boo. What would be number one on your bucket list? Touch a wild meerkat. Probably a pup above all. How old do you think you’ll be when you make your will? I dunno. Do you get any of your songs from Limewire? Lol how old is this??? I used to. Do you call anybody ‘baby’? Literally all my pets and Sara. Where is the fanciest place you have ever visited? Uhhhh I guess somewhere in Disney World??? Are your parents night owls or morning birds? I guess the latter is more accurate. Where did you buy the shirt you’re wearing now? Somewhere online. I found it on Facebook, don't recall the site it led to. Are you easy to get along with? I think and hope so. I'm very accepting. What do you usually do right when you wake up? Check the time. What’s your biggest passion? SPREADING POSITIVITY!!!!! Have you ever thrown your phone in anger? I believe I might have once when Jason and I were arguing?? If I did, it definitely wasn't that hard. I have a vague memory of throwing in onto the carpeted floor.

[littledonkeyburrito]

My neopets account is old enough to drive

1. Why are you at home? Because it’s 2am and I’m not working tonight 2. This time last year, were you single? Sort of, leaning towards yes

3. What are you listening to? "Big Tings” by Skindred 4. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? Nope 5. Are you a big fan of thunderstorms? Yeah, that’s one thing I missed when I was living in Spain - tropical thunderstorms

6. Is there anyone you would do anything for? Sure 7. When will your next kiss be? Depends if I end up going on that date tomorrow night and how well it goes. Otherwise idk, sometime in the next month probs. 8. Are you satisfied with what you currently have in life? Yeah. I’d rather be living in a different country but I can deal 9. Do people ever think you’re older/younger than you actually are? People usually think I’m younger, like 16. 10. Have you ever liked someone way older than you? Yeah but he liked me too so it worked out fine 11. How many texts are in your inbox? I don’t text except to the work phone. I prefer messenger/whatsapp. 12. Who last left you a wallpost on Facebook? First thing that came up on my page was Patrick who tagged me on a screenshot of when I said “I don’t know anything about politics but I sure am drunk and have opinions”. That counts. 13. Assuming you have various kinds of electronics (phone, camera, iPod, etc.), are you currently charging any of them? Laptop is currently plugged in.  14. How are you wearing your hair today? Messy. Got out of the bath and towel dried it. Didn’t bother combing or styling because I’m going to bed soon. 15. What are you eating/drinking? Chips and Pepsi 16. What will your outfit be today? Was wearing a stripey shirt and jeans earlier. Now in my jimjams 17. When’s the next time you’ll be traveling somewhere (anywhere) and where will you go? Maybe going out on a date tomorrow night. If not, will be hanging with a friend. Maybe at my place, maybe out at some bars. Also working on Sunday night.

18. Do you ever sit indoors and wear sunglasses or a hat? Sometimes wear sunnies inside at work because I’ll be staring out the window the whole time.

19. Are you putting off doing something right now? If so, what is it? Nope. I do what I want.

20. What’s the most daring thing you have ever done? Idk, probably moving to a foreign country on my own and barely knowing the language.

21. Do you like playing video games? If so, what do you usually play? Currently playing Horizon Zero Dawn on PS4. Whenever my PC is working again I’ll eventually finish playing Dragon Age Inquisition.

22. Are you sitting in front of or by a window? What can you see out there? Blinds are closed but all I’d see is the construction site next door.

23. Do you ever dance to the song playing in your head? Sometimes

24. How long have you had an online presence for? I think my first account was on Neopets. I just logged into that old account (god knows how I still remember the password) and the account was made in 2002. So, 16 years ago. Oh my god my neopets account is old enough to drive

25. If you got a chance to go to space, would you? Depends on the situation but yeah probably!

26. What’s something we do every day but they don’t depict in movies? The cleanup after sex. Okay not really every day but still. They always just roll over and go to sleep. Like, bro you still got a condom on your dick, and you’re just gonna sleep like that??

27. Do you enjoy travelling? Definitely

28. Where’s the most beautiful place you’ve been to so far? There are many beautiful places I’ve been to. Although I think I have to give an honourable mention to the High Atlas Mountains in Morocco for being so beautiful that I was actually speechless.

29. What’s something cool about the city/town you live in? River got sharks

30. Is your style feminine, masculine or somewhere in the middle? Masculine side of neutral

31. Do you usually carry a backpack, a shoulder bag or something else? I don’t carry a bag unless I’m at work and then it’s a duffel bag, or I’m travelling then it’s a backpack

32. What smell brings back a memory for you? Woodfires make me think of winter at my grandparents’ house when I was a kid, even though we never had fires there. Also sawdust reminds me of my dad’s workshop

33. When was the last time you went in the car past midnight? Couple of nights ago when I last did a nightshift 34. Who was the last person to message you?  Maggie

35. What did you do today? Played PS4, Maggie came over, went to Dan Murphy’s, watched some Will & Grace, had a bath with a lime coconut bathbomb and now all my skin is lovely and smooth 36. Why did you last laugh really hard? Okay so I bought a pack of tiny squeaky rubber pigs online and I have an ongoing treasure hunt in my apartment with Maggie. We re-hide the ones we find. Anyway, I laughed a lot when she adjusted her position in the beanbag and the piggy under it squeaked 37. Would you be able to name everyone you kissed? Nah, I’ve kissed one or two people I don’t know the name of 38. Where is the last person you kissed? No idea 39. What color shirt are you wearing? Navy blue 40. Did you have a fling this summer but it didn’t really go anywhere? I only had half a summer because I moved back from europe. I slept with an ex a few times. Does that count as a fling? Probably not. 41. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? About to bang 42. What was the last thing you bought? Bottle of rum and a case of beer 43. Ever kissed anyone with a nipple piercing? I have no idea. Maybe..? 44. What about a lip piercing? I don’t think so 45. Nose piercing? Again, I don’t think so but it’s possible 46. Have you ever kissed someone who had a boyfriend/girlfriend? Lmao yeah made out with both of them  47. Did you like kissing the last person you kissed or the one before that more? The one before 48. Ever made out in a pool? Uhh I don’t think so? 49. When was the last time you went shopping for new clothes? Do you remember what you bought? I bought undies and singlets a couple of days ago. Not as glamorous as you were expecting I’m sure 50. What sort of compliments make you feel the best? An acknowledgement of something I put effort into

51. What would you say to a twenty year old version of yourself? idk she was pretty much already on the right course 52. Name a few things that make you happy? My lil squeaky pigs drinking/hanging out with friends making plans to travel again 53. If you were going camping for a few days (or to a fancy hotel for those that dislike camping), who would you want to bring with you? Friends that would actually enjoy the camping 54. How long have you been living where you are now? Is this somewhere you intend to stay for a while, or is a move in your future? I’ve been in this apartment for 5 months. I’ll renew for a second year so long as they don’t try to bump the rent up too high. After that idk. I want to move overseas again at some point 55. What was the last thing you put away? I put the towel back on the rack 56. When was the last time you were near a large body of water? I was along the river the last shift I had 57. How much time do you spend in your bedroom? Only when I’m sleeping 58. Do you secretly like to go grocery shopping? No, I put it off until I basically have no food

59. Breakfast; yay or nay? I have vegemite on toast before work but if I don’t have a shift I forget to have breakfast 60. What’s the most creepy experience you’ve ever had? Nothing in particular comes to mind 61. Yay, you’re going out on a date! What do you wear? Fuck I hadn’t even thought about that -_- 62. What’s the last movie you saw in theatre? Was it good? It was either Antman or Deadpool 63. On average, how long would you saw your on the computer per week? When my desktop is broken (now) I usually just use my phone. Laptop is pretty slow. 64. Do you like your music loud? No 65. If you had to lose one of your five senses, which would it be? Smell 66. Would you rather have no computer or no cellphone for a week? Computer. 67. What’s you favourite thing to have for dessert? I don’t really eat dessert at home. I just eat whatever I’m in the mood for whenever. I guess sweet stuff I usually go for timtams or a nutella sandwich 68. Do you tend to straighten or curl your hair more? Neither 69. What’s your favourite summer sport? Sitting inside with the AC blasting. 70. Can you dance, or do you just completely fail at it? I cannot dance. 71. Do you get nervous when you’re about to get a haircut? Yes! And I don’t know why 72. Choose one: Hanging out at the beach, or playing some winter sports? SKIING 73. What’s the coolest place that you ever been to? What’d you do there? Oh man I’ve seen some cool shit. The roundhouses in Tulou village in China were rad. Varanasi in India was a weirdly spiritual experience and I am very much not a spiritual person. Ziplining through the jungle in Panama was fun. Sagrada Familia in Barcelona was super cool in the afternoon with the sun coming in through all the yellow/orange windows. And I’m sure I have more to see in the future 74. What’s the earliest time you ever had to wake up? Was it hard for you? I often wake up at crazy times for work so there is no “earliest” because it loops back around to late 75. What radio station do you listen to most? I have 97.3 playing in the car 76. Whenever you take pictures, do they always end up posted on Facebook? The good ones go on instagram

77. You have unlimited money, what do you do with your life? Travel indefinitely. Pay for friends to travel with me. Give away money. Basically just do whatever I want and hope that nobody tries to kill me for my money. 78. What was the last thing you spent under $5 on? Hmm I have no idea. I can’t think of anything recently. According to my bank statement it was the icecreams I bought from Woolies a couple of weeks ago when I was with some friends 79. How many times have you cried in the past week? None, I don’t really cry 80. Have you ever used your cell phone as a light source in the dark? I need it to see if there’s anything in my mailbox. For some reason I always check the post when it’s dark. 81. Is there anything written on the shirt you’re wearing? “Max Rager” it’s the energy drink from iZombie

82. Where were you living in 1997? I think my family and I had just moved to australia 83. How was your first kiss? eh 84. Do you still talk to the person you shared it with? No 85. How long has it been since you showered? I showered this morning and had a bath a couple of hours ago 86. Have you ever dated someone who had kids? Not dated 87. Have you kissed someone 4 or more years older than you? Several 88. How about younger? Not that I’m aware of 89. Were your parents married when you were born? No 90. Are there any candles in the room with you? No, I don’t like candles, they make me anxious 91. Does the last person you kissed have tattoos? No 92. Do you live within 20 miles of where you were born? Nooooo. more like 10,000 miles 93. Has anyone seen you naked in the last week? Nope 94. Where was your current profile picture taken? In a camping ground in southern Spain. I was visiting my dad’s friends

[lastbluetardis]

A Change of Plans

This was inspired by this adorable Prom AU prompt from @doctorroseprompts, and it also fits the “beginnings” prompt from forever ago on @legendslikestardust

Ten x Rose AU, ~1500 words, Teen

Rose resigns herself to the fact that she’ll never be anything more than best mates with James, until he calls her up, under the impression they’re going to the prom together.

AO3

“Are you sure you don’t want to go to prom, sweetheart? This is going to be the last chance to hang out with all of your friends before you go off to uni.”

Rose stifled a sigh, but rolled her eyes behind her mum’s back.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” she said.

“Did no one ask you?” Jackie asked gently.

“No,” Rose said. “I mean, yes, they did, but I didn’t want to go with any of them. I just want to stay in, Mum.”

Jackie dropped it, thankfully, because Rose didn’t want to think about prom anymore. Truthfully, she did want to go, but the one person she wanted to go with never asked her. Her best mate, James.

Ever since the announcement for prom had been made, she had been subtly dropping hints that she wanted to go with him, while simultaneously trying to figure out if he even wanted to go, but James always seemed to deflect away from the topic, so Rose resigned herself to the fact that he didn’t want to go.

She’d been asked to the dance by three other blokes, but she’d turned them all down. They just weren’t James, and it wouldn’t be fair of her to lead them on and ruin their night.

But that was okay. Maybe she could call James and see if he wanted to hang out with her on prom night instead. They could catch dinner and a movie, and spend some time with each other before uni started. They were going to the same school, so Rose wasn’t completely worried about losing touch with him, but she knew their uni schedules would most likely be hectic and not coincide at all, so she wanted to spend as much uninterrupted time with him now while she still could.

Just as Rose was about to call James to see if he had plans for Saturday night, the phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Hiya!” Rose couldn’t help but smile at the sound of her best friend’s voice. “Question for you: what color should I wear to prom?”

Rose’s heart sank. So he had been interested in going to prom. Just not with her. The air seemed to leave her lungs and her eyes burned as and she tried not to be jealous of whichever lucky girl he would be taking to the dance.

“Uhm, I don’t know,” Rose mumbled, rubbing her fingers into her wet eyes. Ask your bloody date, she wanted to snap. But she held it back. James, bless him, wasn’t the most fashion-sensible, and the poor bloke was probably clueless as to the customs of prom. No matter how angry or hurt she was, she could never refuse him help.

“Well, we have to match,” he continued, and Rose’s hurt vanished, leaving confusion in its wake. “What color’s your dress?”

Rose’s pulse pounded in her ears as she tried to work through what James was saying. It sounded like he was under the impression that they were going to the dance together, but…

“So, uhm, since when are we going to prom together?” Rose managed to ask, hoping her voice sounded steady.

The line went completely silent, and remained quiet for so long that Rose thought the call got disconnected. Then she heard a soft exhale.

“Shit,” he whispered. “Oh, bugger. Shit. I forgot to ask you.”

Rose bit her lip around a grin. My daft James.

“Bugger!” he growled again, and Rose could see the way he probably had his hand in his hair, yanking on the strands until they stuck up in all directions. He then sighed, and it was such a sad sound and it made Rose want to drop the phone and catch the bus to his house so she could give him a hug. “I suppose you’ve already been asked to the dance.”

“Yeah, I have,” she said.

He sniffed.

“Oh,” he said, his voice sounding choked. “Right. Great. Yeah. Of course you have. Brilliant. That’s great. Yeah.”

“I’ve said no,” she said, unable to torment him any longer.

“No, it’s okay, I understand. It’s fi—” His voice cut off, as though his brain finally caught up to what his ears had heard. “Wait. What?”

“I’ve said no,” she repeated. “I’d kind of been hoping my best friend might ask me, but he never did.”

James made a squeaking noise, and Rose laughed.

“Ehm, you have?” he asked, sounding flustered.

“Yep,” she said, popping the ‘p’ like he always did.

“Ehm, well then. Might you be agreeable to going with me to prom this weekend?” he asked in a rush.

“What makes you think you were the best friend I was talking about?” she teased. But when he stayed silent, Rose realized how very nervous and unsure he must be. “James, I’m joking. You know you’re my best mate. Have been since the day we met.”

“Yeah?” he asked quietly.

“Yes,” she said firmly, feeling her heart break a little bit that he hadn’t known. “Yes, James you’re my very best friend.”

“You’re my best friend, too. So you’ll go to prom with me?” he asked excitedly.

Before Rose could blurt out an affirmative, her heart sank.

“I don’t have a dress,” she admitted. “And I didn’t buy a ticket.”

“Oh, no problem, I’ll swing by yours and we can go down to the shops,” James said. “That way we can both decide on a color palette. If… if you want to go to prom with me, of course.”

“I do,” she said immediately. “I really do. But that still doesn’t solve the problem of me not having a ticket.”

“Ah, yes, well,” he said. “Remember that little fact about me being under the impression we were going to prom together despite me not having asked? I bought the couples’ ticket, yours and mine, so you’re all set.”

Rose beamed widely. “It’s a date!”

James sucked in a sharp breath, and Rose frowned. For being best mates, and being completely comfortable with each other, James certainly seemed far too anxious throughout the entirety of the phone call.

“Speaking of a date,” he said, his voice warbling. “Er, I want wondering… er… if you… if you might… er… if you’d like to… bemygirlfriend. Maybe?”

Rose blinked. Surely she’d misheard. James was her best friend, and had been for nearly ten years. They’d grown up together, gone to school together, hung out together. He’d never expressed any interest in her, romantically. Well, to be fair, he’d never expressed any interest in anyone else, either. Sure, they held hands and snuggled together on the sofa to watch a movie, and honestly spent more time with each other than anyone else… But that was just because they were the best of friends… Right?

“Rose?” he asked nervously.

“Can you ask me that again?” she asked, by now certain that her brain had invented the words, and that she had simply projected her own desires onto whatever sentence he had just spoken.

“Well, er… I was just wondering… if maybe you’d like to, er, to be my girlfriend?” he said again, speaking more slowly this time.

Rose’s heart jumped into her throat. “You mean it?” she choked out.

“Yeah,” he said softly. “So… what do you think?”

“Yeah,” she answered, beaming widely. “Yeah, James. I’ll be your girlfriend.”

James crowed out a delighted laugh, and the sound sent warmth fizzing through Rose’s veins.

“Oh, brilliant!” he exclaimed, and Rose could hear the grin in his voice. “Brilliant! Fantastic! Wonderful! Ha!”

Rose laughed at her daft James—her daft boyfriend, she thought giddily—and said, “Well hurry up and get over here, then. We have some shopping to do, and there’s been something I’ve been wanting to do for ages, and can now that we’re dating.”

“Yeah?” he asked, his voice pitching high.

“Yep,” she said. She took in a breath to calm the butterflies in her stomach before she whispered, “Something like a first kiss?”

James let out an unintelligible squeak.

“Right, yes, good! That’s brilliant! Can’t wait! Be there soon! Bye!”

Rose giggled at the daftness of her situation as she replaced the phone on the hook.

“I take it your plans for the weekend have changed?”

Rose jumped, having forgotten her mum was home. Her cheeks burned, but she couldn’t stop smiling as she whispered, “Yeah. Yeah, they have.”

Jackie smiled softly as she said, “I’m happy for you Rose. You and that daft boy. While you’re out shopping, though, make sure you get a box of condoms. Don’t want any accidents to happen.”

“Mum!” Rose groaned, feeling mortified. “We just agreed to start dating!”

“Yeah, but you an’ him have been making heart eyes at each other for at least three years now,” Jackie said. “Don’t deny it. I’ve seen you an’ him together.”

Rose groaned again and scrubbed her hands over her face before she turned away from her mum to get herself ready for dress shopping.

[p1-fanfiction-blog]

Wicked

Characters: AJ Styles x OFC

Warnings: NSFW, cheating, adultery, influence of alcohol, age gap. If you don’t like this sort of thing don’t read.

Summary: The recent events in AJ’s life have been causing a great amount of stress and he feels like he has nobody to turn to. He also finds something inappropriate that the babysitter left behind and fed up with everything, has to have a little talk with her.

Tired from his 7 hour flight from the night before (and the argument that also took place with his wife) AJ forced himself to get up at 10am, shower, pack his gear for the 2 hour drive to the next event, and have everything ready by 11am. He decided not to bring his Xbox as he wouldn’t have time for it anyway and instead booked a table for two to make up with his wife. Sometimes their fights would be settled quick but as of the last few months things seemed to be dragging on. It was getting to a point where he didn’t want to come home on days off but for the sake of his children he put up with it anyway.

The doorbell rang at 10:45 and as expected, the babysitter was right on time. “Hey, Melissa! Thanks for coming over again on such short notice. The wife won’t be around today until this evening and I should be back by the time she gets here. Are you still alright with staying overnight?” She nodded and said everything was fine, and that she needed to get some reading done for exams anyway.

“Alright cool. I fell asleep in the living room last night so lemme fix it up real quick and I’ll be on my way.” Of course that was kind of a lie. The couch seemed to be the norm for him the last couple times he’s came home, but he was fairly confident that tonight would be different as he was surprising his wife with dinner and maybe a movie after his meet and greet. As he finished folding up the blankets he used he looked down and saw something shiny poking out from between the cushions. Curious, he dug it out and was in disbelief as to what he found.

A condom, and to his relief still in its package and unopened. And as to how it got there he had no flipping idea. AJ and his wife never used them and he seriously doubted that she was seeing anyone else as they constantly text and call each other whenever they had the given chance. The only other person who was in their home lately was Melissa, and it was only the night before for a couple hours as his wife had to pick him up from the airport. AJ was livid, but he had no time to talk with her about it or else he was gonna be late to his event. He reminded her again what time they would be back and was out the door, the condom tucked away in his pocket.

The day flew by and when it came time to let his wife know about the little surprise he had planned everything seemed to be going great despite what he had found this morning. Of course he would never tell her about it. Not only would they risk losing their best babysitter, but he also didn’t want it all blowing up in his face in the end. Melissa had been babysitting for them for three years since she was 15 and wasn’t very outgoing so she was always available in the evenings. In addition, she was also reliable, sweet, and the kids loved her to death. AJ always considered her to be trustworthy, that is– until the little babysitting mishap that he needs to now confront her with.

Unfortunately the special evening turned into another husband and wife battle somehow. They finished off their bottle of wine and just decided to go back home. On the drive back he didn’t understand what he was doing wrong, he liked to spend money on his family to try keep them happy for his constant absence away from home. Week after week his body was beaten and bruised, and he did it all for them so they can have all the things he never grew up with. All he ever wanted for his wife was the best. Round after round they would often just come home pissed off at each other, making their marital problems worse instead of better. So he braced himself for the sleep on the couch again, and tried to shush his wife as she made snappy remarks about her husband in front of Melissa as she announced she was going to bed. As they both heard the bedroom door upstairs shut, then came the time to bring up the condom incident. This really was going to put the icing on top of the bitter cake.

AJ took a deep breath before he began. Things were already awkward so he may as well just come out and say it. "Well I’ll have to drive to the ATM and get your pay. I forgot to pull it out before getting home but there’s something I need to ask you about before I do that.” She nodded and allowed him to continue on. Her bright blue eyes were looking as innocent as can be, and this being the first time AJ has really noticed them. He began to notice a lot of things that he shouldn't about her. She was dressed in a pair of tight cotton blue shorts, along with a midriff bearing white T-shirt. Her stomach was smooth and underlined, revealing a belly button piercing that he couldn’t take his eyes off of. Wow has she ever grown up.

“Uhh, Mr. Jones? What did you need to tell me?” Melissa beamed, snapping AJ out of his inappropriate thoughts. She flashed him a small smile before he continued on, and that alone almost made him weak in the knees.

He wasn’t quite sure on how to begin. “Alright Melissa, look. You’ve been babysitting for us for a long time now and you’ve always done a good job of it. Always been respectful of our house and had no problems,” he paused for a second as he studied her face. She had almost a sour look and he could already tell she was going through something as well so he decided to be as nice about it as he possibly could. “Well thanks,” she replied, her gleam fading away from the tone of his voice. It was very stern and intimidating. “You’re welcome,” AJ continued, “but the main reason I bring this up is because well.. before I left the house this morning I found this in my couch.” He reached down into his pocket and pulled out the condom, her eyes instantly wide and her face turning a hint of pink.

“I.. I… A condom..?” She stuttered. She was obviously trying to act oblivious to it but he already knew she was guilty of it. “Yes, Melissa. A condom. It wasn’t a very nice find seeing as I was the one to sleep on the it last night. It’s kind of gross knowing some shit went on while we were away and I had to sleep on it right after.”

“I don’t know how something like that could’ve happened!” She blurted, looking everywhere else on him except AJ’s face. “I mean… couldn’t it be one of yours?”

“My wife had her tubes tied after our fourth child, so we have no need to use condoms. In fact we never used them in the last ten years.”

“I mean.. couldn’t it be possible… that your wife.. she..” Melissa stammered on with every little excuse she could come up with and AJ wasn’t having it.

“Melissa, please,” AJ interrupted, holding his hand up. “Let’s not go there. The wife and I haven’t been terribly getting along lately, but I’m sure she wouldn’t have sex with someone else on our couch and leave a condom there. You, on the other hand, have been dating that one boy.. what’s his name again?”

“Trevor,” she quietly replied.

“And I know your parents told me that they don’t like him very much and won’t let him over at y'all’s house. Now none of that is my business and I’m not trying to make it my business.. but I really need to insist that you don’t be bringing any of your friends into my house anymore. Do I make myself clear?”

She seemed to be nearly in tears as she slowly nodded. “Okay,” she replied softly, “I’m really sorry, Mr. Jones. I promise it won’t happen again. I was just too afraid to ask before was all.” This poor girl, he thought to himself. Was he really being that hard on her? On the inside he felt pretty bad about making her feel this way but at the same time he needed to let her know just how serious this was. "It’s alright, Melissa,” he smiled and continued on as he placed a reassuring hand on top of her shoulder. “And please just call me AJ from now on, alright?”

“Okay,” she said in a shaky voice. “I’m really sorry, AJ. Honest!”

“Dont be sorry. Just promise me you won’t bring any more strangers into my house okay?”

“I promise,” she muttered.

“Perfect. Thanks for staying so long tonight. Six hours and an overnight tonight, right? Let me go and pull out some money for you.”

“Oh no.. it’s fine, AJ! You can just get me back tomorrow or something. And you won’t have to pay me for today for what I did,” she quickly responded. “Well alright, that’s great! I could relax and use a drink right now.” AJ set his keys back down on the table and made his way over to the mini bar in the living room. Although AJ hasn’t touched hard alcohol other than the occasional beer here and there he could definitely use something stronger after his long and difficult day. After all, it would be a terrible waste as he bought the vodka for him and his wife– obviously drinking it all alone now.

She let out a little sharp, but cynical laugh. “Oh trust me I know!”

“You too, huh?”

“You have no idea.”

He left it at that and walked over to the bar in the corner of the family room. AJ took off his jacket, draping it over one of the bar stools and then removed the silk black tie, placing it over the jacket– Unbuttoning the top button on his shirt before he took down a bottle of imported Russian vodka and a martini shaker. AJ poured a triple shot of the vodka in, added some ice and some vermouth, and then began shaking. As he was straining the mix into a martini glass (a rather fancy one he also bought for the occasion) Melissa walked over to watch.

“Breaking out the big guns tonight, huh?” She said as she watched with curiosity.

“You know it,” he replied as he reached for a jar of olives, swiping one of them out and dropping it into his drink. “Soooo, that’s like a martini, right?” she asked.

“Well, a purist would say that a true martini would be made with gin instead of vodka but I never liked gin, so yes. Basically.”

She chewed her lip nervously as AJ turned to face her. “Do you think I could have one?” God. She was beginning to do this to him again. He tried to focus on the freshly poured drink in front of him but soon had another ideas, seeing as how his previous once had cancelled out on him. “You’re eighteen, right?”

“Just turned eighteen two months ago. And it’s not like I haven’t drank before. The only things I’ve tried were orange juice and vodka or beer,” she stated as a matter of factly.

“I guess one drink wouldn’t hurt. Just don’t be telling your parents or asking me to buy booze for you after this,” he laughed as he slid the glass in front of her. She of course agreed and eyed the drink before taking it into her hands. “Try some of mine I guess before I make you one of your own. Most people don’t really like ‘em.”

She brought the glass up to her lips, smelled it, and then took a sip. Of course as AJ expected, a sour look quickly spread across her face and she gave the martini back to him. He couldn’t help but laugh at her reaction as he took a drink of it himself. “Ewww,” she barely got out as she finally swallowed the burning liquid. “It tastes like gasoline.”

“I warned you,” AJ amused. “Martinis are like a fine wine, they’re an acquired taste.” He reached down into the bar and pulled out a bottle of Green Apple Schnapps and began making the drink as before, pouring it into the second glass he had sitting out for you-know-who– the liquid resulting in a pale, emerald colour. As he was rinsing the chrome mixer he already knew he was treading on choppy waters doing this, but thought what the hell, and shoved it into the back of his mind as it was nothing more than enjoying a drink with someone he was close to. “Here, try this,” AJ said as he placed the drink in front of her. He couldn’t help but become fixated on her lips as she took a small sip. They were a light pink and plump, looking really soft– wondering where else they have been since he now knew she wasn’t as innocent as he thought she was. He shook his head and cleared his mind at that, taking another swig of his martini all in one go.

“This is REALLY good. I like this one much better!” she beamed. He couldn’t help but be smug about it. It’s been a while since he has this sort of attention from a female, even to be complimented on something silly such as how he made his drinks. “That’s an Appletini,” he continued on. “My wife doesn’t like them how I do so I bought the schnapps for her.” She took another small sip and praised the drink again. “It’s really good.” Her eyes lit up as she took another big sip.

“Hey now, take 'er easy,” AJ chuckled. He poured himself another drink. “Shall we go have a seat?” She smiled and nodded up at him, letting her walk over to the couch first as he followed suit. Those shorts looked really good from behind. “Wow,” he mumbled to himself. He wondered how angelic she was underneath them and inwardly cursed himself AGAIN for having such a thought. He must really need to get laid.

Melissa plopped herself down on the couch as AJ made himself comfortable on the other end, grabbing his cell phone and putting on a playlist of his favourite music. “I think I found myself a new drink,” she giggled, taking a much bigger drink than the last one. “Just be careful with them. They pack quite a punch although yours is not nearly as strong as mine is." They talked of easy things as they sat there. Such as her casual job at the local pet shop, how shes on the honour roll at school, and possibly getting a scholarship at the end of the year for graduation. He listened to her go on about how she hopes to go to college if her “over protective parents” let her leave home on her own. It must be nice to have such small, trivial problems he thought to himself. He couldn’t help but smile as she continued to ramble on.

She took one last drink and placed the empty glass on the end table beside her. “God, I’m so sorry about everything, AJ. I feel so embarrassed about what I did.” Well, that came out of nowhere. “I’m embarrassed because I feel like you can’t trust me again. I had Trevor in your house, the condom, and I tried to lie about it. I really was sorry. I was actually gonna cry but I held everything in,” she admitted. “Will you ever trust me again?” By this time AJ’s own glass was empty and he could feel the warmth of the alcohol sitting in his empty stomach. His head also swimming from the triple shots of vodka. I guess I can’t drink 'em like I used to, he admitted. And to his better judgement which was usually quite sound, he decided on another anyway.

“Nevermind all of that. We’re here to relax and forget all our problems, another?” he asked as he stood up. She nodded her head excitedly as she handed her empty glass to him. “Anyway, I was pretty confident you wouldn’t have your boyfriend here last night,” he stated as he mixed them brand new drinks. “I mean seeing as you wouldn’t have time to do anything. The wife came to pick me up at 7 which would mean we would be back at around 8 or 8:30.” She laughed as she gladly accepted the Appletini. “That’s true,” she admitted. “But with Trevor that’s all it takes.”

AJ almost choked on his drink. “Well I really didn’t need to know that!” She laughed even harder at his reaction. “It’s true! With Trevor he could’ve gone twice and still had time to smoke a cigarette in between rounds!” she cut herself off before she went any further and instantly blushed at how she was talking to AJ. He on the other hand, found that to be hilarious. "I’m sorry,” she took yet another sip as she nervously looked down. “I don’t usually say things like that.”

“Nothing to be sorry for,” he mused, taking a seat at the end of the couch again. “And dont be too hard on him, how old is he? Eighteen.. nineteen?” She too made herself more comfortable, bringing up her legs and sitting cross legged. Of course he couldn’t help but look as her shorts rode up even higher, exposing quite a bit of the insides of her thighs. “He’s twenty one,” she replied as she rolled her eyes. He nervously cleared his throat and continued on. “Well young guys around that age don’t know how to… well uhh.. really 'control’ themselves if you know what I mean. Some guys really don’t learn at all. I mean… the older the guy gets, the more experience he gets.. so most older guys are really good and know what they’re doing.”

“Hmmm.. interesting,” she said thoughtfully, a slight gleam in her eyes that seemed to be directed at AJ this time. “Very interesting.”

Now it was AJ who was feeling embarrassed as it occurred to him that she might have taken his words of advice the wrong way. He awkwardly shuffled where he sat, trying to mask it as him making himself more comfortable. "In any case," he continued, "I was reasonably sure you wouldn't bring anyone in here tonight, and I'm sure that you won't in the future."

"Well um.." she looked down at her feet, this time is was her shifting around in her spot. "I was actually gonna try bring him over tonight but we got into a huge fight. It was actually over using that condom. I told him last night that we couldn't do anything unless he uses them with me and it made him mad at me. Sooo... he walked home and we didn't have sex here at all. Actually I really don't think Trevor and I will be a thing anymore. All he ever wants is sex from me." AJ's expression went from flushed to surprise (but mostly relief) at everything she just told him. They both took another huge drink before finishing off their glasses. He was really overall glad with her honesty. "That's unfortunate. By the sounds of it he doesn't seem like he's good enough for you anyway. And besides, I'm glad I found a condom still in its wrapper in this couch and not the actual condom."

Melissa laughed at that. "That would just be gross. Anyway, I told him all of that before too and he just got mad at me." AJ scoffed at that. "Sounds like a real Prince Charming, alright." And just then AJ blurted out something he knew he would never say if the alcohol hadn't been such a bad influence on him. "Why are you using condoms anyway? Shouldn't you be on the pill or some sort of birth control if you're sexually active?"

She smirked at his statement and finished off the remainder of her drink, she was obviously not offended much to his surprise. "I'm not that sexually active, dad." she mocked in a teasingly voice. Being called 'dad' suddenly did things to him that he knew was wrong. It was terribly wrong. But his body was doing all the thinking right now thanks to the strong drinks he made for himself. AJ repositioned himself so she wouldn't notice his member stiffening between his legs. "I really only had sex with two other boys before Trevor and it wasn't more than twice with them. If I got on the pill my parents would freak out and think I'm a total slut or something. And besides," she slowly began to move closer to him as she rambled on. "Maybe when I get a real boyfriend I'll go on the pill or something. Someone that's older this time. He has to be sweet, caring, and actually listens to what I have to say," she trailed off as she continued to move closer, she was now sitting directing in front of AJ and he couldn't help but look down at her exposed thighs again. Her shorts were much higher than before. Not high enough that it exposed her panties but it was right up there. He gulped as his eyes slowly trailed back up to her face, which was obviously beaming with lust. ".. someone like you, AJ."

"Melissa.." he was about to get up and make himself another drink and head to his man cave before he wasn't able to stop himself but she quickly cut him off before he doing anything by playfully slapping his arm-- another action which caught him by surprise as they've never even touched each other once before. "Did you know that I used to have the biggest crush on you?" she asked. He instantly forgot what he was going to do after hearing her sudden confession. "It's true! After I was done babysitting I would go home and imagine that I would marry you one day and instead of my bed, I would imagine I was laying in yours. Oh! And that you would take me out on dates and pick me up for prom," she giggled at what she was admitting and moved even closer, placing her hand dangerously in the middle of his thigh-- and he wasn't sure if she was doing this all on purpose or if it was the alcohol that was doing it. "Such silly little girl dreams, I know."

"Listen, I'm very much flattered and don't take this the wrong way but... whatever this is, it needs to stop." he gently took her hand and placed it on top of her own. "This was a bad idea. I'm sorry.. I'm the adult here and you're just a kid and.. Really. This is wrong." AJ was once again blind sided as he tried to get up and leave again, only this time she quickly got up and was now straddling his thigh. "You know I even had my first orgasm thinking about you. Did you ever think that way about me?"

It was this time that AJ was having a difficult time keeping his eyes up and focused on her. He was now hard as a rock and nervously tapped his fingers along the surface of the couch cushions. The fact that he has thought of her in such ways since she became a lovely young woman was all he could think about but it's never gotten to the point where it turned him on as much as she did right now. Fans swooning over him was one thing and it never mattered to him, but having another woman (a much younger one at that) sitting on top of him, obviously wanting him for who he really was outside all the fame -- this was something completely different. And on his fucking couch while his wife was sleeping upstairs.

Just then the silence was broken between them. She leaned closer so that she was now pushed up against him, her breasts rubbing against his hard torso as her lips grazed across his exposed skin from when he unbuttoned his dress shirt earlier. "You turn me on so much, AJ. You have no idea. Even when I had sex with Trevor, I always imagined it was you fucking me instead of him." In the process, she spread her legs wider so that she could now fully straddle his lap, finally exposing her panties that were hidden underneath. They were almost like a pale pink colour and it drove AJ wild. "That's uhh... that's good to know," he replied, leaning back so he could sneak another look at them. She sat up and began to squeeze her breasts through her shirt. "I'll never forget it."

He couldn't help but groan at the thought of her getting off to him. The vision of her laying in bed playing with herself because of him was powerfully erotic. His cock was unbearably hard and strained against the fabric of their clothing. The way Melissa was blushing as she told him this, her movements, her attractive young body grinding on top of him-- everything about her had turned him on bad. AJ can't remember the last time he felt this horny. He didn't know if it was because of her, the fact that he hadn't had sex for months, or the thought of possibly getting caught was what made everything so exciting. But he knew deep down he was a loyal man and this had gone far enough. It was time to shut whatever this was down and think rationally and not with what he desired. He and his wife may have had their differences but it didn't mean that he should listen to his body and cheat on her.

"You know I still think of you when I play with myself," she added, pounding more nails into the coffin. Melissa, you need to leave, right now! is what AJ meant to say, but instead he asked her if she really did and she nodded her head. "God, AJ I'm so wet right now. Do you think it would be sick... if you know.. I touched myself? Right now..?"

AJ nearly choked. "You mean like, right here?? Right now? In front of me..?"

"I feel like I'm going to explode if I don't," she whined, creeping her fingers a little further up her inner thigh.

"Melissa," he said, his voice was now shaking and his hands were trembling. He took a quick glance over towards the stairs to see if there was any sign that his wife-- or his kids for that matter-- would be coming out from their rooms at any moment. "This is a really bad idea."

"Please?" She pleaded as her fingers were now playing with the elastic part of her underwear. "I would really love to look at you while I play with myself, AJ. To make myself come while I look at your face."

His tremors grew worse, his eyes now unabashedly staring between her legs and the small wet spot that was visible through her underwear.

"You could do it too," she innocently suggested. "We could watch each other do it together. There's nothing wrong with that, is there?"

There was, of course, a whole lot wrong with that. But her logic combined with the influence of alcohol and his horniness refused to allow his brain to acknowledge that. She was offering to show her pussy to him, and play with it for matter. It wasn't cheating in some sort of sense, AJ convince himself. Not in the strict or legal sense of the word. It was nothing more than visual stimulation, like watching a porno right? "No," he managed to breathe out. "I guess there really isn't."

She smiled and nervously licked her lips. Her left hand came down and slid into the edge of her pink underwear. Slowly, she pulled them to the side, dragging the crotch of her shorts along with them-- revealing her wet pussy to him. The area surrounding the lips was shaved smooth, and the lips themselves were a nice shade of pink and slightly swollen. At this very moment she was simply perfect in his eyes and it nearly stunned him with what was currently happening. He was in utter disbelief.

"God, this is so hot!" She whispered as she leaned back against the couch and spread her legs a little bit wider for him. While her left hand confined to hold her shorts open her right hand began to play with her swollen clit. Sliding the tips of her fingers up and down slowly as her eyes never left AJ's royal blue ones.

"Jesus," AJ whispered, enthralled, his cock was now begging for release.

"Take it out," she begged. "I want you to do it too."

AJ reached down and started to unbuckle his belt, then quickly unbuttoned the dresspants as his gaze never left the sight of her exposed pussy either. He unzipped and raised his hips up a little so he could push his pants down just enough to have his cock out. Doubt tried to push its way into his brain again-- You're not really gonna whip your dick out in front of Melissa, are you?-- but he pushed it right back. There was nothing wrong with it. It's not like he was going to fuck her or anything.

He pushed his pants along with his underwear down more to his mid-thigh, allowing his ridged cock to spring out into his right hand. Melissa's eyes locked into it as he slowly started to stoke it. Her breathing now taking a heavier tone as her fingers were moving faster, now moving in and out of her petite body. AJ kept his pace slow as he knew he wouldn't last a minute if he kept up to speed with her. Through it all he kept his eyes glued on the babysitter, drinking in the pure site of her masturbating to him. His eyes darkened as he watched her watching him, her pussy growing more swollen and more wet by the second, begging for attention of its own.

"Oh... AJ." She moaned. "This is so hot, isn't it?

"Yeah," he breathed, his strokes now getting faster as he watched her start playing with her clit.

"Mmmm," she moaned. She was now flicking at her clit a little faster. "You have such a nice cock, AJ. It's so big and hard... will you put it inside of me?"

He swallowed nervously. Hadn't he known she was gonna ask that at some point? AJ shook his head and tried to maintain his willpower. "No, sweetheart, we can't. Let's just keep doing what we're doing, okay?"

"Oh please, AJ?" She moaned. "Just for a second? I just wanna know what it feels like. I've always wonder what it felt like when I thought about you.."

His cock twitched at hearing just that. "Melissa..."

"Please," she begged, "Just put it inside me once and you can take it back out. I just want to know how it feels and then you can stop." She stopped playing with herself and spread her legs open for him. "Just once?"

AJ found himself still listening to his body and standing up, allowing his pants and underwear to fall down around his ankles. It wouldn't hurt to just try it once, would it? I mean, the poor girl was nice enough to show him what she does in her alone time and she just wanted to experience what he felt like. "Just once," he said in a stern voice, raising his finger as he did so. "Just once."

"Yes, sir." She cooed. "Only once."

AJ groaned at that and looked towards the stairway which seemed like the sixtieth time that evening as she opened her legs wider, putting his knees on the couch between them as her left hand stayed at her crotch, continuing to pull her shorts to the side and her right hand reached up to his face and stroked it. AJ held his cock in his hand as he slowly aligned the tip of it between her dripping folds. He slipped it up and down a few times, prepping himself for the one (and ONLY one time) trip into his babysitter's body.

He pushed his hips forward into her, his cock met a little bit of friction with her for the barest of seconds but quickly slid slowly and smoothly inside of her. They both moaned as he bottomed out, his balls now resting against her ass as it's the deepest he could possibly go. "That feels sooooo good," Melissa whispered against his ear and all he could do was nod his head in agreement. Just sitting there, he was not willing to pull out just yet. "Just a couple of strokes inside of me?" She asked, "just for a few seconds?"

He didn't even try to rationalize this one. AJ just nodded and allowed his hips to start moving, giving her a grind then pulling his cock until it was almost completely out before slamming all the way back into her, giving her a much rougher grind this time as she mewed against his ear in approval so he did it again. And again. Her moans were becoming louder and he quietly shushed her and hoped that nobody could hear them. She apologized and he began to move a little faster-- concentrating on keeping a steady pace where he wouldn't come so quickly. She was incredibly tight.

"Lean on top of me, AJ," she moaned. "Lay on top of me while you fuck me."

And with that he leaned forward, allowing his chest to press up against hers-- he growled at the softness of her breasts beneath her shirt. Without asking she pulled his head down toward hers and kissed him, her tongue darting out against his lips and allowing it to explore his mouth. AJ then kissed her back enthusiastically-- swirling his tongue along with hers and sucking on it, all the while both of them trying to stay as quiet as they possibly can. She tasted strongly of apples.

They continued to kiss and rut against each other at a quickening pace and AJ found himself snaking his hand up the inside of her shirt, then underneath her bra to stroke and cup her bare tits. She squeaked at his experienced touch and wrapped her legs tightly around his waist. The aroma of their lust filled the air as his concern for his wife catching them together was now out the window. All he wanted to do was fuck her raw until she couldn't stand it anymore. Melissa broke the kiss and couldn't help but moan out loud as his cock found its way rubbing against her g-spot. "You're gonna make me... you're gonna make me.. oh my god, AJ.. don't stop! Don't stop!!"

And it didn't stop. In fact, he began to fuck her harder and almost slamming her body more into the couch with each stroke, angling his hips upwards stimulating her nerves even more. Her hips began to rise and fall against him in response, their mouths coming back together as he now had his hand up against her throat. They kissed rough and hotly, obscenely as her orgasm took over her. Her body was now shaking and shuddering against AJ's and he could feel himself coming dangerously close as well.

It took her almost a minute to work her way through the spasms. As it faded AJ broke the kiss and locked his pale blue eyes into hers. "Fuck baby, I'm gonna come right away," he groaned. She kept moaning for him to do it over and over as the pressure built up in his lower abdomen and the waves of pleasure began to spread. She felt the tightness of his body and urged him to come in between their kisses. The peak built up rapidly but one that AJ hasn't felt in years, and at that he too began to shake as her hips thrust upward repeatedly, her drenched pussy milking him as his thrusts were becoming more uneven. At the peak now arriving AJ quickly pulled his cock out and he violently started stroking it over her body. He was coming all over her bare midriff within seconds and it was honestly one of the greatest orgasms he'd ever had.

And finally it was over. She removed her hand from between her legs so that she could put both of them around the lower part of AJ's back so that he was pulled tightly against her. They shared another long, luxuriant kiss.. although this one was sweet and sexy instead of lustful like before. They broke the kiss at last and both just kind of stared at each other, not really sure of what to say or what to do next. "This shouldn't have happened," AJ quietly murmured amongst himself. He also listened to be sure that they didn't wake anyone up and he was forever grateful that they didn't. He looked back down at Melissa and saw that she was smiling up at him. "Yeah I know. But aren't you glad that it did?" She giggled. AJ shook his head and sighed but mostly of relief as he plopped back down on the couch. He was never drinking hard liquor again.

They laid like that for quite sometime, not talking, not thinking-- just sort of holding each other and sharing the occasional kiss. They knew they had to let each other go because the time for thinking would begin. And that would lead to the time for them to talk about it and it's something AJ wasn't willing to discuss anytime soon. Neither one of them were ready to wonder about what would happen tomorrow.

This literally took me like 9 hours to write and I couldn't post for three days because I had to find a way to insert a "Read More" link on mobile but here it is!! I hope the idea of this fic wasn't toooooo too bad of me to write LOL. Please let me know what you think of it, and if you enjoyed this please reblog and share as it would be much appreciated! <3 </b>

[sunflowerchaix]

Come What May

March 4th

       The bell above the glass door chimed as I rushed into the cold lobby of the Holiday gas station. The Seattle air was crisp, which isn’t that shocking to the locals who barely ever see the sun. To them, it is a myth, hidden behind the clouds of rain that they so strongly believe in and hold onto that hope.

           I have lost all hope, every last drop of it. It became lost like a raindrop sliding down a bus window; crashing into a puddle that had gathered on the edge. This particular bus was taking me away from the one that I love; the one that I left behind only because I was scared and I needed to escape.

           Inside the gas station there were four long rows filled with crap that was just waiting to be bought and taken out of this depressing hell whole. Only to be met with an untimely and quite disappointing fate. Kind of like the situation that I have put myself in.

           I flip my long, once blonde and clean, hair out of my face. Before I left on my journey to find myself, I colored my hair to a vibrant blue, but now it’s a sad grey. I used to be bigger than I am now, but not eating properly for three months will make all that weight fall off. I am not the same pretty girl I once knew.

           You see, growing up my dream was to move to Seattle and start publishing my novels. I thought I would have what it takes to become a successful writer, but I didn’t. When I arrived, I was so full of optimism and hope, but it soon came crashing down like that raindrop. There was no place for me to stay and I only had so much money that I couldn’t stay in a hotel for much longer. I quickly ran out of money.

           You may be asking why I didn’t just call my parents and ask for help, but it’s not that simple. When I was seventeen years old I was kicked out of their house. Typical, runaway teen has been on her own because she didn’t follow mommy and daddy’s rules, right?

           Wrong, oh is that so very wrong.

           Instead my relationship and trust was ripped away from my parents all because of my little sister, who I do love with all my heart but I just wish that she would make better choices for herself.

           Annabeth is the baby of the family, and after her birth she quite quickly became the favorite. She is the angel in my parents’ eyes; she can literally do no wrong! But she is a manipulative bitch that got my brother thrown in jail and me living on the streets at the tender age of seventeen years old.

           Our brother caught her smoking pot in her bed room and he was pissed. He was livid because he knew that precious little Annie was going to get away with it. But he decided to try and tell our parents, but before he could Annabeth switched the story around causing my dad’s vain on his forehead to pop with anger. My dad turned my brother in for possession of marijuana and considering my dad is a pretty big deal in my home town; the police booked him with out any evidence against him.

          Corruption at its finest.

           Annabeth ruined our brother’s life forever because she couldn’t stand the idea of having to deal with the consequences of her actions. And he wasn’t gone that long before she decided that she wanted to get rid of me as well. To put me in danger as a minor just so she could be the only child or whatever her motive was.

           It was snowing outside and I had just gotten home from spending time with my then best friend, Chandler. My dad was waiting in the piano room, arms folded and the vain popping out so far that I was afraid that it was going to burst and spill all over the white carpet. Confused, I sat down on the hideous floral couch and looked up at him.

           “What’s this?” He snapped and he held a wrapper in my face. “Why did your poor sister have to find this in her room?”

           I tried to take a look, but he was shoving the wrapper so far in my face that I couldn’t focus on it. “I don’t know, let me look.”

           His face turned beet red. “You fucking liar, you know exactly what it is.”

           “I really don’t dad, I literally cannot see it.” I replied honestly, since he was known for enjoying honesty even though he never believed it when it was voiced.

           Then his olive toned hand met my light pale cheek. “How can you be so incompetent that you don’t know what this is? It’s a condom wrapper!”

           My eyes met Annabeth, who was smirking and she opened her mouth and said; “I also caught her using it with another girl.”

           My heart stopped and my mouth slammed to the white carpeted floor. Our father was now fuming at this new information; him being homophobic he was not having it. I knew then that this would be my last time in the house that I grew up in. The house that I was brought home from the hospital after I was born, the house that was just five minutes from Chandler’s and ten minutes from school.

           “What do you have to say for yourself?” His voice shook the paint on the walls.

           I was dumbfounded. “You cant even use a condom with a woman, they don’t have the parts for it. But I am obviously not welcomed here anymore so I will go pack my suitcase and leave.”

           Being so close to graduation and my birthday was coming up in a couple of weeks, it didn’t matter that I was leaving the house at such a young age. The only thing I feared was where I would sleep that night, because it was the worst snowfall Utah had seen in a long time. Roads were closed and the snow bed was up to my knees.

           I immediately went over to Chandler’s parents’ house, who so graciously took me in as their own that night. They wanted to call and report what happened as child endangerment, which my father could have been charged with that but I didn’t see the point. Exhausted, I fell asleep in Chandler’s arms that night and that was the start of our relationship.

           A month after graduation, Chandler and I found our own apartment that was within walking distance of the community college. We both had plans to go there since it was cheaper and all I really wanted to do was take writing classes to better my chances at making it big. But without any extra help for income, school became expensive and after about a year of living together, I left him.

           I took what money I had in my bank account and in my pocket and just left. Only leaving a note behind and a few things that I couldn’t take with me; I broke his heart. He didn’t deserve that in the slightest, I just up and left him and here I am three months later living on the streets just dying to go back to him.

           I am completely out of money; the only thing I have in my pocket right now is fifteen dollars and an unopened mint I was saving for dinner. Currently I am staying at a homeless shelter until I can get back on my feet. But it’s been a month and nothing is changing.

           Despite not eating or eating very little, my waist has started to expand, so that’s why I am here at the Holiday gas station. Staring at the end of the third aisle at a product that was placed right next to a pack of condoms and a pack of Dramamine; I already knew what this test would tell me.

It takes a moron not to notice.

I grab the box of pregnancy tests and a large bottle of water and head for the bathroom. Once in, I lock the door and I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror. My face has hollowed out due to not eating and my green eyes have turned dull. I used to consider myself beautiful, but after these few months I stopped believing that.

Taking a deep breath, I rip open the purple box of tests and chug the large bottle of water. Soon enough, I have to pee like a race horse and so I stick the test down there. I wince as I get a little bit of my urine on my hand and bring the test out of the toilet area so I can see it.

I stare at it for what feels like forever, but nothing changes with it so I take another one just to be sure and then I wash my hands. After all that, I look down at the tests and there it is, the only thing positive I have seen in these two years of being on my own.

“Fuck.” I whisper under my breath.

I was planning on just stealing the tests and the water bottle, but I know the old woman at the counter so I object to that plan. The bathroom door slams behind me and I march up to the front counter, hoping Gladys doesn’t ask too many questions.

Gladys was the first friendly face I met when I got here to Seattle. I am pretty sure she knows that I have no home, but I also haven’t really opened up to her for obvious reasons. But she always makes sure to give me a water bottle and sometimes a turkey sandwich.

“Hey baby girl,” She says with a smile. “What brings you in today?”

I put the opened box of tests and the empty water bottle on the counter. She glances at the box but nothing else, she doesn’t even give me a judgmental look.

“Can I ask what the test says?”

I sigh. “It’s positive, congratulations to me right?”

She smiles and genuinely looks excited for me; “A little bun to brighten your life up.”

“I don’t know about that one Gladys, someone in my situation shouldn’t really be able to bring up a child.” I shrug. “I have a lot to think about, you know?”

She nodded. “I will stand next to you in support in whatever you choose baby girl, you know that. Are you going to tell the daddy?”

The thought of talking to Chandler on the phone causes my gut to fall through my butt. “You know, im not even sure I am even going to go through with the pregnancy.”

Gladys shrugs; “Well, whatever you choose go PP. They helped me with my first pregnancy and the first appointment should be free.”

Ignoring her I sigh and say; “So what’s the damage?”

Gladys smiles; “it is on me this time, but please go grab another large water bottle and one of those sandwiches. Keeping the baby or not, you still need to take care of yourself.”

I do as I am told and leave the gas station.

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