#bottoms had to be improvised a bit tho

[wolfziedraws]

Alter Emos

[matryosika]

shoot me, chapter III

pairing — changbin x reader

rating — 18+

genre of the overall series — smut, angst, fluff if you squint

prologue chapter I chapter II chapter III

word count for this chapter — 3.7 k

warnings — suggestive, slight jisung x reader, mentions of alcohol, possessive and jealous changbin, choking and sexual tension.

note — i have been pretty ia lately because i'm full of school work to do. my semester is coming to an end, so i must turn in final projects and take my final tests too. i'm normally much active than i have been on this account, i promise to get back to you as soon as school ends for me. this chapter has just sexual tension but not smut smut and it's shorter than the rest but i needed to divide the chapter because it became way too long. smut promised for next one that i will be uploading this weekend (hopefully!)

taglist: @cozyblues @ahgasearmyfan @binnie-m00n

*

[12:17 a.m. Changbin]

i don't think we should to that again

it was a mistake

you looked at your phone at a extreme state of confusion. he had left your place minutes ago and, after an amazing session of oral sex, a lovely dinner and a extremely bearable (maybe even good) late-night talk, the walk to his car was all it took for him to develop a guilt complex?

[12:17 a.m. Changbin]

i just needed to vent but honestly, getting with you can really damage my future and that's not something i'm willing to jeopardize for sex.

you read his messages over and over again. it was the "i just needed to vent" that got backlash from you... did he really just came to your place only to ease his sexual frustrations?

you were still siting in the living room, hugging your knees to your chest. you hadn't lose self control once but twice, and not to mention it was with a man whose only purpose all along was to use you to feel better about himself.

"you really touched bottom this time" you whispered to yourself, feeling the need to take a second shower in order to rinse away all the traces from his touches and kisses on your skin.

maybe it wasn't really the guilt that bothered you. maybe it was the fact that, tonight, was probably the best night you've ever had for a while. he took well care of you, after finishing he cleaned you up and carried you to your room so you could take a shower and change your clothes.

he patiently waited for you while sitting at the edge of your bed and, when you were done showering, some delicious food he ordered was already expecting both of you at the dinning room of the house. during dinner, you told him a little bit about your life in japan and shared some childhood memories with him.

things were good, maybe too good for your own liking, but it only took a couple of minutes for changbin to remind you who he truly was.

not only that, but you also wouldn't admit the fact that you had a great time with him.

*

you spent the rest of the week calmly, having to hang out with changbin more times than you actually wanted to. he would often act like a gentleman in front of his parents and arthur, trying to engage in coversations with you often, asking you about your major and your adolescence in japan. you thought that he was just doing that in an attempt to hide the awkwardness of the air every time you had to spend time with him at arthur's company, but that didn't completely eased the fact that you felt your blood boil every time you had to be near him.

*

"you are coming, right?" ryujin cried from the other side of the phone "you told me you wanted to come!"

fuck, chan's party was this weekend.

"uhhhh" you mumbled "ryujin i don't feel good"

"y/n!" she screamed "is it because of changbin? baby? i have known you since pre-school, are you really feeling bad over a man you met barely 2 weeks ago?"

ryujin was right. you hated men, you truly did. and you were too proud about the fact that you had never cried over one, let alone have your heart broken by any of them. and it wasn't changbin you were sad about but the fact that he used you, you let him and then tried to act like nothing ever happened between both of you, which was even more humilliating. it always seemed like you had everything controlled but this time he was the one who got the last word and that was something you just couldn't accept.

"besides" ryujin added without leaving time for you to talk "i don't even think he is coming, chan said that he invited more people outside his friend group because some of them were not going to make it tonight, maybe he is one of them"

"maybe" you said "but i'm not willing to take a risk on that, ryujin"

you couldn't see her, but you could clearly picture how she was pouting at that exact moment. "y/n, you will eventually go back to japan and we will not be able to hang out anymore. is that what you want? do you want to reject your best friend on a saturday night? plus! the last time i took you to itaewon you had a great time!"

"speak for yourself ryujin" you mutered

"PLEASE" she screamed, making you squirm in your place "i promise that i will be by your side the whole time, i won't get distracted by the gorgeous, precious, well-built, amazing...."

"alright" you interrupted her "i know you are lying but i want to believe you for once"

she did a little scream of victory on the other side of the line and proceeded to set an hour to pick you up, almost against your will.

*

"what's the special occasion?" you asked ryujin as she went through all your clothes that were now laying around your bedroom floor, trying to find the perfect outfit for chan's party because you were dressed too casual, apparently.

"today it's the birthday of one of his closest friends" she said, almost in a hurry "and we are now running late because of your choice of clothes"

"i didn't knew there was a dresscode" you said, sitting at the edge of your bed.

"oh no, there isn't" she responded, now lurking around your suitcase and bags "but you need to let know changbin what he is missing out"

you rolled your eyes and grunted, of course. ryujin was that type of friend who would hype you up while you wear a killer outfit just to piss off a man.

"FINALLY" she screamed, finding the black dress that you stole from changbin at coex "i knew you had something around"

with hesitant eyes you looked at her handing you the dress, not sure if this easy outfit, like changbin said, would fit the occasion. "go on, it's almost 9 p.m."

*

by the bar incident you learned that chan, changbin and the whole friend group were a bunch of privileged men, but you didn't quite understand how privileged they were until you found yourself outside chan's house. the architecture looked excentric but expensive, at the same time. it was located in a pretty nice neighbourhood and was specially afar from the rest of the houses as if the most important value around was privacy.

you looked at ryujin and she seemed nervous. understandable. she came from a decent household but this right here just looked like the mansion of a western celebrity.

"are you alright?" you asked her, closing the door of her car before walking towards the stairs that lead you to the front door.

"this is the first time i'll get to meet chan's friends" she responded, making a grimace as she retracted "well, the second time, but i can barely remember the night at the bar"

"right"

right before she could continue talking, the front door opened and chan greeted you both. "ladies"

you bowed down to chan and ryujin immediately jumped into his arms, receiving a kiss in her cheek by the man himself "could you not?" you joked, watching chan's face turning bright red by the unexpected and euphoric physical contact.

"i missed him!" ryujin defended herself, locking her arms behind his neck.

"come in, y/n" he said, opening the door wider so you and ryujin could come in.

"who's the birthday boy?" you asked, your eyes scanning the insides of the house looking for any sign of changbin.

"it's jeongin's birthday" he said, proudly smiling like the father of an 8-year-old son "he's right there, at the couch. maybe you recall him from the bar"

you saw his face and immediatly remembered him. "yeah, the guy who just couldn't stop laughing"

"that's the one" chan said, standing right besides ryujin "let's go, let me introduce you to them"

*

the next hour was spent peacefully and you were almost thankful that ryujin begged you to come. jeongin, the birthday boy, was already drunk by 10:00 p.m. and kept making bad jokes that cracked everyone up. ryujin left with chan to god-knows-where and you were stucked with jisung and hyunjin at the living room, drinking ocasionally and having a good time.

"i remember you from the bar" jisung mumbled, getting closer to your ear as the music was already too loud. "i wanted to chat with you, but you disappeared quickly"

his breath smelled like cherries and alcohol as he was too close to you, but you couldn't complain. it was almost intoxicating in the best way possible.

"yeah i was not having a good time"

he smiled proudly "i'm sure i could have made it better"

a sarcastic chuckled escaped your lips as he placed a hand on his chest "you don't believe me?"

"i don't believe any man for that matter" you replied almost in a flirty way, not that you wanted to tho but the alcohol was already making you feel a tad extroverted.

"but i'm not any man" jisung whispered on your ear, making you feel goosebumps over the entirety of your body. before you could even say something back, he grabbed you by the hand and took you outside of the living room and into the patio, where a lot of people were gathered drinking and dancing.

"oh, i'm not good at dancing" you tried to escape, jisung holding you by one of your hands.

"you don't have to be good at dancing to enjoy it" he pouted, still convincing you to join him at the improvised dance floor that people made right at the center of the courtyard "c'mon y/n"

you were not too fond of dancing, but the music that was playing and jisung's insistence made you accept the offer. with small jumps of excitement he drove you to the crowd of people and started to move around you like a fool, inspiring you confidence to losen up a bit.

"i'm not used to this" you admit, moving your body to the sound of "criminal" by taemin, one of your favorite songs ever.

"there's always a first time for everything" he mumbled, his face dangerously close to yours "here"

his hands traveled to your waist and he held you closer to his body, feeling his soft and warm sking against the naked parts of your. "just let your body move with the music, it's not hard"

jisung's presence was extremely intoxicated and captivating, but not enough to keep you from notice changbin entering to courtyard.

and he wasn't alone.

your whole body tensed and you could feel how jisung stepped back a little bit. "did i do something wrong?"

you parted your gaze from changbin as soon as he saw your body pressed against him, and you gave a faint smile to jisung.

"no, i just felt shy for a moment"

he gave you a wide smile and continue to hold you even closer, your hips moving involuntary against his pelvic area and his eyes firmly fixed into you. "god, you are so precious"

"am i?" you asked, tilting your head to the side while dancing.

you could feel changbin's gazed nailed into your body and that was making you do stupid things. you wanted to make him feel jealous, for some reason, but using a man you just met wasn't something that would fit in your principles.

"mhm" he hummed, the movements of both of you getting slower as the song progressed. jisung's lips brushed softly against yours pratically begging for a kiss, but you knew that it was way too early for that.

you turned around on your place, your back now pressed to his chest, as you continued to dance against his body. his hands were glued to your waist and ocasionally would visit your hips, moving at the same rythm as you did. a different song was playing right now, but you didn't even noticed as your mind was flooded with thoughts. who was changbin with? was she his girlfriend? was he still there watching you? were you dancing with jisung just to piss him off? and most importantly, why did you feel the need to make him jealous in the first place?

before the trail of thoughts continued on your head, jisung's hand traveled from the tip of your fingers to your left shoulder, his fine digits dancing around your naked clavicles. "did i tell you that this dress looks amazing on you?"

his voice, the trace of his fingers and his scent made you act completely dumb around him, it was almost painful to watch. with a swift movement, you were now facing him again and kept on moving slowly. "i don't think so"

"well" he said, leaning one more time to leave a faint kiss on your lips "you look amazing on that dress"

and without expecting an answer from you, he kissed you.

his lips tasted exactly the same as his scent. the mixture of cherries, strawberries and alcohol intoxicated your five senses, making you unable to think about what you were doing. the kiss was everything except rushed, as if he was taking his time to taste every single inch of your lips and tongue. his hands were resting on your waist and lower back and the song that was now playing just fit the whole mood the both of you created, right until...

"do you mind?" a man's voice asked while you felt a grip on your forearm.

"give me a break man" jisung said, interrupting the kiss. it was no other than changbin, standing right in the middle of you and jisung.

"she is drunk" changbin said, almost in a threatening tone.

"i am not" you responded, trying to get out of changbin's grip.

"we are in the middle of something here" jisung insisted, trying to get between you and the grip changbin had on your arm.

"i'm not in the mood for a chat, han" his voice turned ten times deeper and his body language reminded you of that night at itaewon "i'm taking her home because he drank too much"

"let go off of me"

but he did not let go of you and continued dragging you across the whole courtyard and into the living room. "aren't you supposed to be with your girlfriend?"

you started to curse him openly, but he wouldn't slow down his pace. he took you out of the house and into his car without even saying a word.

"you are acting as if you were my owner" you grunted, looking for your phone inside of your purse "you just love to order me around, don't you?"

"that didn't seem to upset you at the bar and your house" he scoffed, his voice going completely cold as ice.

"you bringing that topic now is just miserable" you laughed as he started the car "i was about to enjoy a good night of fucking, something i never got to do with you because you are a coward"

changbin's jaw tensed up and you could feel how the car started to go faster.

the adrenaline of changbin's jealousy, the alcohol, jisung's taste and the speed of the car were making you feel particularly bold tonight, something you knew you would regret the morning after.

"why do you tense up?" you asked, teasing him "i know you wanted to fuck me so bad but still decided to not jeopardize your future for a night of sex"

you were not completely sure, but it was kind of obvious that changbin wasn't driving to your house. you tried to catch a glimpse of the street names as if that was going to be helpful to a foreigner, but it was too dark outside.

"you are not going to talk now?" you asked him, taking off your high-heels as your whole body rested on the car seat. "you were so bold a few minutes ago, trying to act like a fucking man intimidating jisung at chan's house. two nights of oral sex and i have that much of a grip on you, changbin?"

he wouldn't respond, and that only made your blood boil even more.

"you are so fucking pathetic" you muttered, looking directly at him as his gaze was completely fixed on the road.

the car took a sudden turn and parked right in front of a complex of apartments. without hesitation, he got out and opened the door for you, carrying you into his shoulder inside the elevator of the lobby.

the scene was pretty much awkward as you faced yourself into the elevator mirror. your hair was completely messed up and your lipstick was a bit smudged but other than that, you looked completely sober. not only that, but he knew that you weren't drunk. he just made that excuse.

the doors of the elevators opened on the 12th floor and you were glad that no one was waiting for it outside, otherwise they would've seen your ass on changbin's shoulder.

"you know i'm not drunk, right?" you said, still resting on his shoulders while he took his keys from the pocket of his black pants

"just shut the fuck up for a moment" he said, carrying you and leaving you standing inside of his apartment as he turned all the lights inside on.

"i knew your behavior as a gentleman was a fucking act and you only did that in front of your parents and arthur"

"you are so annoying" changbin whispered as he walked towards the black leather couch in the middle of the living room of his apartment. you followed him and walked right behind him.

"i don't have anything to do here, changbin" you mumbled, his back turned against you. you wanted to tease him, you needed to. for an unknown reason, you felt the sudden urge to make him mad, to make him explode. you needed things to escalate quickly so he would give you another reason for you to hate him even more "i can't believe i should be fucking with jisung right now but instead i'm-"

before you could finish that sentence, you felt changbin's grip on both sides of your neck "go on, keep on talking"

the lack of oxygen, the sudden movement of changbin against your body and his gaze flooded with anger made your legs tremeble "keep on fucking talking"

you could barely swallow by how hard his right hand was grasping onto your neck "look at you" you whispered with broken words, smirking as your eyes unconciously closed because of the pleasure "are you jealous, changbin?"

"why don't you answer the question, y/n?" he asked, his hold on your neck becoming softer as his lips approached your right ear "how did you felt when you saw me with that girl earlier today?"

an ironic laugh left your lips, trying to shield yourself from the obvious thing. "i don't know what game you are playing, changbin, but i didn't felt shit"

"really?" he hummed, his raspy voice near your ear made you squeeze your thighs together unconciously, and even though his hand was merely just resting on your neck, the arousal you felt from his grip was still there. "i know you saw me with her, and i could tell how that made you dance for jisung more... enthusiastically"

"you are wrong" you replied, pushing him slightly away "and pathetic, getting jealous when you were the one who cutted things off since the beginning"

"he is an asshole" changbin said with a mocking and sarcastic tone, his fingers tracing the naked skin of your arms as he licked his lips "and i must protect you, like arthur said. isn't that right?"

"he is a good kisser" you answered "i bet he fucks better than you too, not that i would know though because i never got to fuck with you"

changbin's eyes drifted from your skin to your eyes in a matter of miliseconds and for the first time in the evening you regretted saying something. "you are just begging for me to fuck you, aren't you?"

"don't get confused" you spitted "i don't want to have anything to do with you"

his hand traveled slowly to the end of your dress, lifting it up and reaching for your, now soaking, panties. his digits traced your slit and you swallowed hard in anticipation for whatever humiliating thing he was about to say. "are you sure?"

he removed his fingers from your core and were now glistening thanks to the light coming from the window of his apartment. "look at me and tell me that you don't want me to fuck you"

"look at me and tell me that you didn't felt jealous when you saw me with jisung" yo fired back, a faint smirk appearing on his face.

"i did" he admitted "i can't even begin to explain how mad i felt at the sight of your precious body pressing against his. all i wanted to do at that exact moment was to fuck you right in front of everybody, including him"

his hands toured to your back, unzipping the dress you were wearing as he looked directly into your eyes trying to decode if you actually wanted this or not.

"i know what i said last week" changbin mumbled, his fingers helping you to drag the straps on your dress all the way to your wrists "but your existence is fucking me up"

your heart started to beat even faster, your breath accelerated "and it wasn't until i saw you with someone else where i realized that i needed to make you completely mine, even just once"

you soon found yourself in your underwear right in front of him, his eyes looking at you up and down several times making you feel intimidated. you had two options: loose your self-control for the third time and do something that you truly wanted to, or leave his apartment feeling proud.

but you already made that choice when you didn't fought back enough to stop him from driving you to his place.

"please ruin me" you whispered, your soul immersed in arousal, guilt and regret.

[hellothepixel]

My SPOILER thoughts on Red Notice

I was going to make a mini-review, but honestly i just want to talk about a specific part of the movie.

(warning- spoilers.)

1. THE TWIST

I loved the film, but the twist near the end really ruined it for me. It undermined a lot of what happened prior to that moment while also not making much sense and retrospectibly ruining the emotion behind a lot of scenes. The whole movie built up a relationship between the main characters, and while sometimes it was a bit rocky, there was clearly an arc of them growing past what happened to them and their parental trauma. The scene in the prision where Nolan Booth talked about what happened to his father was surprisingly heartfelt and moving for a genre that i tend to label as "soulless flashy action film". The movie seemed to be on a course where Nolan and John opened up to each other as the movie progressed and then became best friends (or more- i mean, the amount of gay jokes they make are nearing queerbaiting levels.)

But the twist ruined it all. It ruined their friendship, it ruined the struggle that John seemed to be having between wanting to clear his name and wanting to help out his friend. And sure, it did explain parts of the film, but it completly threw his character arc to the trash.

2. ALTERNATIVE ENDINGS

In my opinion, they shouldn't have done the twist. They should've let these characters team up for real, and then have them ride a boat into the sunset, and start a life of crime together- hell, maybe even include The Bishop in their fun crime gang.

But, if they really had to do the twist... they should've given it a good payoff in the climax. Nolan Bush has just been betrayed by his ONLY FRIEND, some he opened up with about his father and his loneliness. And he was betrayed... but found again by the Interpol. IMAGINE THE DRAMA!. IMAGINE THE POETRY! Imagine Nolan, now working alongside his enemies, working to take down his former friend. Imagine Nolan facing John, looking at him in his eyes and saying I truested you! I thought you were my friend!, and John replying I told you... We're not friends. I can't believe they didn't do this! I can't believe we got stuck with the most anticlimatic ending possible while you had a whole pot of potential right there!

...At least they should've made the eggs like, magical. The director clearly watched Indiana Jones, why not rip a page out of that book and have the mcguffin be sudenly supernatural at the very end? At least give us a skybeam.

3. GAY SUBTEXT

It's 2021. We had Catradora, Lumity, Bubbline. We have tv shows and movies that feature or focus gay characters. But this genre of movie is completly LACKING in them (aside from the mentor guy in Kingsman tho, he's gay and also the best character).

And don't tell me this movie doesn't WANT to be gay. When Nolan asked John if he was a top or a bottom, was that improvised- or on the script? The multiple times Nolan calls John his wife or says they're married??? The scene where Nolan thought John had drowned?????

The movie knows people are going to ship these characters- but it never. delivers. on it. It has all the potential of a gay love story that exists in a romantiziced way in an action setting, it has all the pieces to have them come out to each other, open their hearts and find in the other a person they can trust and live alongside, a true partner in crime when their lives are so lonely.

But the movie is too scared to take the plunge. And this was probably the producers decision, who thought it would give them a bit less money if they made it gay. And not only does this make them cowards, not only does it show an unwillingness to do their part to change the media landscape, but it also undercuts the movie's own potential to become great, and perhaps garner that much more atention.

And if you think Eternals proves that having gay characters will ruin a movie's ratings, i strongly disagree. I didn't see a single ad for that movie. That movie released exclusivly theatres in a PANDEMIC, while Red Notice released on netflix. Having gay characters - and gay characters of color at that- will probably hurt a movie's ratings, but it would also give it the support of moviegoers who want to see gay poc on screen. Personally I probably wouldn't have watched Shera or The Owl House if they didn't have gay stuff on them - and not necessarily because i wouldn't have liked the shows, but because i wouldn't have heard of them if the fandom didn't go crazy over their gay content. In fact, i gave those shows a chance BECAUSE of the gay stuff. And now i love them.

TL;DR: Good movie. It would've been better if it was gay, both because it would appeal to an untapped market, but because it would fit better with the character's arcs.

[gerbiloftriumph]

So you wanna be a king (pt4)

orrrr mayyyybe juuust cosplay one since that’s way less responsibilities

(incidentally, the fabbo shirt’s from redbubble, https://www.redbubble.com/people/midorilied/works/29739636-do-it-for-him-white-text, if @midorilied​ doesn’t mind me showing it off)

If you’ve followed along thus far then you should have a cloak, jerkin, pants and boots. A fully wearable Graham perfect for romping around the countryside. But it feels incomplete without the accessories, so let’s give those a try.

Part 4: Pouches n Bracers

(Again, these are all just suggestions and a How I Did It from a very novice cosplayer. Disregard all points, or take the ones you like. improvise adapt overcome)

Perhaps the best part about adventure games is the stuff. The bottomless inventory, a random assortment of strange things that all Do A Thing. Graham carries everything from money to badgers to literal humans in his pockets (presumably his mother is a seamstress trained by the gods). 

This...won’t be you. Sorry.

Now, to be fair, I saw a Graham cosplay on tumblr (I’m so sorry, I don’t remember who--does anyone know?) who sewed pockets into their cloak, which is delightful and a very sweet idea! 

However, I prefer the swoosh and snap of my cloak, and heavy things like cell phones in your cloak will alter the weight. Something to keep in mind as you decide how to manage your outfit.

(forgive the blur--I haven’t been able to get a still of what it looks like when swooshing. Perhaps now I’ve got real boots I’ll do another gifset of it)

Thus, all my phone, money, keys, and backup freckles (e.g., liquid eyeliner) must live in Graham’s belt pouches instead of cloak pockets. Lord knows what Graham actually keeps in his pouches, game-wise. Squirrel snacks, maybe, to avoid repeating the fiasco from Tourney Day?

This time I followed a pattern. I know, weird, right?

I wanted functionality, but I wanted them to be slim and simple, too. I found a guy on YouTube, and he comes with a .pdf template pattern in his video description! It’s super detailed, easy to follow, and better than me rambling. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPhQlaI_UX4

Three years later, they’re starting to look a touch tired. I used a plain dark brown fabric (was it broadcloth?). Half a yard is plenty. If it’s semi-close in color your your belt, ideal. I made two sizes, two large for phone and makeup for touchups, and one small for keys and money. The large ones are 3″ wide and 5.5″ tall, and the small one is 2.5″ by 4.5″, but size them to whatever important things must be on your body at all time.

I added snap clasps to keep them shut (never know when you’ll be pounced by goblins, or trip over a crack in the sidewalk), and I found some plain silver buttons to sew over where the snaps sit--added bonus, hides my sloppy stitchwork. I took some of the leftover suede rope from the jerkin for the front--my ugliest secret is that it’s really horrible looking super glue dribbled everywhere. Hasn’t moved in 3 years, tho. /victory fist bump

I turned the corners of the front flaps so I wouldn’t have square tops. I didn’t trim off the excess fabric since I thought keeping extra weight in the corners would help keep the flaps down. You could always sew in another layer of something sturdier if you didn’t want the flaps to curl over time--it’s probably worth it. It does make a difference. 

So, in doing this half-tutorial, I’ve just realized that Graham’s actual model has three pouches of various sizes on his left side only which means I’ve been wearing and drawing him wrong since day one. So. That’s cool. themoreyouknow.gif

(still not changing anything tho; I like keeping my phone on my right side)

Bracers!

Graham’s an archer. So, he’s got bracers on his forearms to protect himself. (presumably his rippling muscles are protection enough since he stops wearing them between his 30s and 70s.)

We have the same problem here as with the jerkin: the bracers seem practically sewn onto his arm. And that’s maybe doable, but I’m mortal, not digital, and I want this to be comfortable and also easy to remove. Now, unfortunately, my method loses the black bands he has on his bracer underbellies--they don’t seem to fit. If you have a nice solution, let me know.

Get yourself a ruler, paper, a scrap of elastic band, a sheet or two of stiff felt (probably like this stuff: https://www.amazon.com/Darice-Stiff-inches-5-Pack-FLT-0331/dp/B00KNAKJH6), and all the leftovers from your jerkin.

Measure around your wrist--mine’s 6″, so we’ll use that. Draw a 6″ line on a piece of paper, find the center of the line, mark it. Measure how long down your arm you want the bracer to go. I like 8 and a quarter inches myself (make it as long as you can without the bracer edge rubbing your inner elbow because that gets real old real fast). From the center mark of your wrist line, make a straight line down (a grid is helpful here to keep it straight). At the point where your bracer stops, measure around your arm: I got 9″. Find the halfway mark of your base arm line, add that to the paper. Connect the corners. It should look approximately something like this:

Cut out and test your design to make sure it’s comfortable (you want to forget you’re wearing these. keep them away from your elbow. f’reals). Cut the shape out of your stiff felt, and cut out your brown fabric leftover from your jerkin, with a margin all around so you can fold it over and sew (I did an inch I think, because I’m a coward). For the hand guard, I did half my wrist (3″), then measured my hand to see how high it had to be to just scrape the knuckle. For my hand, that’s about 3″, give or take. Curve it, test it, cut it out of felt and brown alike, and cut out some extra brown to cover the inside of the hand guard too, as you don’t want to see any white against your hand.

Fold the loose edges over the felt and sew it down along the marked places:

Make little snips in the hem of the hand guard hem as you go to achieve that tight curve. 

I was nervous about combining the two pieces as I needed easy wrist flexibility. The two lines that aren’t hemmed I left “raw” and sewed the brown edges together as was, so that there’s no stiff felt against the wrist at all. 

Another secret: my bracer grommets aren’t the same as my jerkin grommets--they’re much smaller, like 7mm, because I’d planned on making my jerkin with this smaller size earlier to replicate Graham’s tighter lacing but it didn’t work out--the larger ones from your jerkin work fine. 

It’s the same process as the jerkin, too. Every inch from the wrist to the elbow gets a grommet, plus its corresponding partner. A-likea so:

The next part might be optional. I cut another piece of brown about the same size as the bracer body again, and sewed the edges along the inside, just past the grommets, so that when you wear the bracer, you don’t see the shirt beneath your laces. It also gives you a place to hide the loose ends of your suede rope once it’s tied into place. Probably optional. 

Graham’s bracers have definition near the elbow, and I was annoyed that I couldn’t find a way to fit in the large black bands without messing up the simplicity of my pull on/pull off system, so to reference it I found thin black trim and sewed it along the bottom hem, just below the last grommet. 

Okay, lace it with the suede rope and try it for fit. You may notice the hand guard is a bit unwilling to stay attached. Get the super glue, and--

no wait please don’t do that

let’s just make an elastic ring instead

My elastic was white: I colored it with a brown marker so it wasn’t as jarring if anyone caught sight of it. Sew it into your existing hemline, wherever it feels natural to wear it as a ring on your middle finger. A strip of fabric or trim might work as well, but the elastic makes it easy to pull on. 

I desperately need to update my gray wristbands with real rope. This is trim, and I do not like it. But it was free, at the bottom of my cosplay bin, and I’m so tired of spending money on this costume.........anyway, loop the rope of choice three times around your wrist, sew it into a closed loop to avoid dealing with knots and bows, and tug the whole thing on and off over your hand. pls do not make it too tight.

And that’s looking like a proper cosplay. Just a few more accessories and also the hat. I assume everyone just wants the adventuring hat, but if there’s any interest in the crown, I could toss that in too, maaaayyyybbeeee?

[shittestdevils-blog]

💍+ SataLil because I wanna hear your headcanons about their marriage

HEADCANONS MEME: WEDDING EDITION!!send me 💍 + A SHIP and i’ll tell you—

so this is gonna be a big can of worms bc there are gonna be refrences to things I have not fully talked about on this blog, so as a quick summary of it so to say

 Lil was once an angel of Fumus, Nick and Lil knew one another from the first take of pitch black, if you know my blog you know something happened that made Nick and Fumus reset it, Lil is the only known surviving being from that first take of pitch black, as a whole I need to fully wright this down and make post on it but, the jists of it she has know Satanick for a long time, knows at least some of what he has been through, and is his best friend

where they get married     the castle ball room

when they get married ( ie what time of day, what month and season etc. )     evening, winter, perhaps January 

what traditions they include ( do they get married under a chuppah and crush a glass, garter toss, ‘something borrowed, something blue,’ etc. )      something old etc, and in a way the garter toss as well, by witch I mean they agreed to sling shot it all the way up to heaven, yes it worked with the useage of shadows, it smacked Fumus dead in the face

what their wedding cake looks like    of course Nick baked a cake for them, Lils favourite and it would have looked something like this 

….who smashes cake into whose face    neither, but they did fead some to each other

who proposed to who first      Satanick, it had been a few thousand years from the reset and Lil and Nick where close, him helping her adjust to having fell to be a succubus, at one point long before when she had still been an angel, she had confided in him how she feared never being able to stay anywhere for long due to her nature, and never being able to have a place to call home, so after a while of making sure she was used to it all, he asked her if she wanted somewhere she could always return to no matter what, he smiled and asked her to be his wife, she would always have a place to call home then, the darkness its self

who walks down the aisle and who waits at the altar ( or neither )    Lil walks down the aisle and Nick waits at the alter

what their wedding dresses / suits / other look like    perhaps like this? with accents of the others fav colour on them hmm for now just take this for her dress, yes it would be pure white tho as the wedding goes on it turns to a deep wine colour starting at the bottom, Lil had asked for it to do that, Nick wore a matching white suit that did the same

what their wedding colour scheme is and what sort of decor they have    deep wine, and they had it winter themed 

what flowers are in the bouquet ( if applicable. bonus: what do the flowers mean? )     verying shades of pink roses, a hidden yellow rose

what their vows are ( eg poetry, traditional, improvised etc. )     improvised

if anyone’s late to the wedding    Fumus never even showed up~

who’s in the bridal parties / groomsmen / other    the subordinates of both of em within each party, Lil also had Medouco, and a few other loyal maids

what their bridal party / groomsmen / other are wearing    much like the couple, they wore white suits and dresses, tho the dresses where a bit more simple, all of them would change to a deep wine colour

who gives speeches at the reception ( bonus: what do they say? recount a sweet memory or two between them? tell an embarrassing story? )       perhaps the both of them, maybe one of them recalling how they met

who catches the bouquet( s )       just bc I want her too, Medouco, well one of her snakes did really, it lunged out and snapped it away from someone else

what their wedding photos are like ( are they sweet, with the couple holding hands or kissing or ~gazing into each others eyes~? are they silly, with a snapshot of the ‘cake-smash’ moment? or are they artistic, with one of them facing the sunset or holding their bouquets? )         mostly silly honestly

what sort of food they have at the reception        fancy as fuck tbh

who cries first during the ceremony     Lil did, as she realised that she had somewhere, something, somewhere to call home

how wild their reception gets ( who dances the best, who gets drunk first, etc. )what their rings are like

     simple golden bands, and it got pretty wild I would think, a majority of the party was a fuck you to Fumus

what sort of favours they have ( heart shaped sparklers, mini champagne bottles, personalised candy etc. )    "adult” shaped candy

where they go for their honeymoon    Nick took Lil out to see space, showing her some of the cosmos

something memorable that happens during the party / ceremony ( do they run out of ice and someone goes to get it in full formal wear on foot, does anyone fall asleep in the middle of the party, etc. )     dRINKING CONTEST!!!!! 

who officiates the ceremony     uhh some random demon who Satanick said could do it for em

what song their first dance is to    Queen - You’re My Best Friend

who gives who away as they walk down the aisle           n/a

[witch-of-the-west-country]

The story so far

Writing a little something for @emilys-arty-farty-stuff and just wanted her approval on the first part before I continue. 2007 The second Emily stepped outside, the Louisiana sun hit her like a brick to the face. Her glasses seemed to magnify the glare more than was scientifically possible, and the heat settled over her like a heavy blanket. Holy shit. She didn't ever think she'd get used to this. Coming from the damp and drizzle of the East of England to here wasn't just a culture shock, it was a thermal shock too. Not to mention what the humidity did to her fucking hair…… She'd lived in Dulvey for two months now and hadn't made a single friend. The people there weren't actively unfriendly, but they didn't seem to know what to make of her with her accent and her penchant for wearing odd socks, and she'd been carefully avoided the entire time. Emily went down the school steps, feeling the heat from the concrete baking up through the soles of her Vans. She was thinking of nothing but getting home to the air conditioned coolness and sitting in a dim room to draw. She had an idea for picture she wanted to do, and it had been burning in her brain all afternoon. There was a crowd gathered at the bottom of the steps, huddled in a rough circle, but in her artistic daydream she didn't register them, and before she had time to fully realise what she'd done, she'd plunged into the midst of the mass. Emily recognised both boys. Being ignored had made her more observant, and she'd learned names and characters as a coping mechanism. The huge guy on the left was Brent Chambers, a walking cliché - complete Jock, tall, muscular, tanned and blond. Captain of the football team, dating some scuzzy cheerleader. She stood of to one side, blowing bubbles with her gum and watching the events unfold with malicious interest. The boy on the right was Lucas Baker, and he was the complete polar opposite of Brent. From what Emily could gather, he lived on the edge of the bayou - she'd heard people call him Swamp Boy - and he was tall and skinny with an unfortunate beak of a nose and an air of permanent discontent. They were facing off, an unlikely match, and Emily shuddered at the thought of what the bigger boy would do to poor Lucas. The two of them didn't notice her sudden appearance, and Emily tried to back out of the arena, but the wall of people had closed behind her and she was trapped. “You better fuckin’ apologise to my girl, Baker. I'm tellin’ ya now!” Lucas sneered. “I ain't fuckin’ apologisin’ for somethin’ I ain't done!” he retorted. “You were fuckin’ touchin’ her, you pervert!” said Brent, outraged, and a murmur of excitement rippled around the crowd. “I bumped into her!” corrected Lucas, helpless frustration written plain on his face. “She should look where she's fuckin’ walkin’!” Brent snorted. “Bumped into her and touched her ass,” he said. Lucas shrugged. “Her ass was in the way. I can't help that. It's fuckin’ big enough.” Brent’s girlfriend - Brandi, was that her name? - gasped, her mouth hanging open, her wad of gum a pink lump on her tongue that looked like a tumour. Brent shook a thick finger in the skinny boy's face, the tip nearly brushing the end of that big nose, and Emily saw a snarl start to twist Lucas’s mouth at the imposition. For a second he looked like he was about to bite the digit right off. “Nobody touches my girl's ass an’ gets away with it!” “You sure about that?” asked Lucas. “I mean, from what I heard, she's pretty much fucked the entire football team……” “Oooh!” The combined syllable swelled from the assembled crowd. They were hungry for blood, and now it was sure to be shed. Emily was jostled from behind as people attempted to get closer, and though she dug in her heels she was shoved forward. Brent had raised his fist, ready to land the first punch, but Lucas hadn't moved, standing his ground, defiant. He lifted his chin as if daring the bigger boy to go ahead, and in that instant Emily saw his profile outlined against the burning orb of the sun - proud, unafraid, and about to be destroyed. Holy shit, she realised - he was beautiful….. Without even considering the hazard to her own person, and before she'd even realised what she was doing, Emily leapt between them. Ragged chatter broke out in the onlookers. Surprise, laughter, amazement. Emily looked up at the bruiser towering over her, his fist still raised but slowly drooping in bewilderment. “What the fuck…..?” he began, and trailed off. “Leave him alone, you wanker!” yelled Emily, adrenaline flooding her system and speaking the words for her. Brent frowned, and looked over at one of his wingmen, a smaller jock who just shrugged. The football captain adjusted his expression. “Now listen up, girlie - “ he started, but Emily was on a high now and tore on ahead. “No, you listen up, you massive twat! Just fuck off, right!” She put two hands against his broad chest and attempted to push him away. It was like trying to move a wall. For a moment, Brent looked like he might just shove her aside, but there were a lot people watching, and he evidently didn't want to be seen manhandling a girl. “This don't concern you, whatever-the-hell-your-name-is, so just get the fuck outta the way. This is men's business.” “My name is Emily, and you're not a man - you're a dickhead. And a fucking bully. So just piss off.” She folded her arms across her chest and stood, glaring up at him. Somewhere in the busy 60 seconds since she'd leapt to Swamp Boy’s rescue, the wave of adrenaline she'd been riding had reached the shore and washed up onto the beach in a tame little dribble, and now she was stranded and out of her depth. But she couldn't back down now. Brent had faltered, the moment was lost, and people were already starting to drift away, the spectacle no longer holding their interest. Trying to save face, the jock snorted. “Fuck this shit. I ain't got time for this.” He looked over the top of her head at Lucas, who still stood behind her. “We'll settle this another time, Baker. When yer little bodyguard ain't around.” Dropping an insulting wink, Brent turned away and strolled off, putting his arm around his girlfriend as they went. Possibly-Brandi shot Emily a confused glance over her shoulder. The gathering dispersed, leaving Emily and Lucas standing alone. Lucas hadn't moved throughout the entire altercation, and now she turned to him, her face burning. He was looking down at her with an expression of pure amazement, apparently lost for words, and Emily took the opportunity to examine his features close up. He wasn't conventionally attractive by any means, but he had good bones in his narrow face and the bluest, most piercing eyes she'd ever seen. She wondered if she had a paint in her palette that would do the shade justice. “Why d’ya do that?” he asked finally. Emily had no good answer, so she improvised. “Dunno. I was worried he was gonna break your face, and I wanted to draw it before it got smashed to shit.” It was the truth, she suddenly realised, although she hadn't known it till this second. “You wanna draw ma face?” He sounded incredulous, but he was blushing, she realised - not like she did, with colour rising in her cheeks, but in his ears, the upper rims reddening as she watched. She shrugged, somewhat reassured that he was apparently feeling as awkward as she was, and for a few seconds they both stood there, blushing in their own way. “Well, whatever,” he said eventually, looking at the ground. “But I coulda taken him, ya know.” “I know,” she lied. “But I didn't wanna risk it.” She paused. “So, can I, then?” “”Can ya what?” “Draw you.” Lucas shrugged, an angular, lopsided gesture that tried to convey the idea that he didn't give a shit whilst actually conveying how self-conscious he was. “Guess I can't stop ya if ya wanna. Free country.” He narrowed his eyes at her, and for a second Emily felt a thrill shoot through her belly, an almost painful sensation that began somewhere under her ribs and ended up near her groin. “I ain't sittin’ still so’s you can do can do it, though,” he cautioned. “Don't like bein’ stared at…..” “That's ok,” she said. “I think you're in my head now, I can draw you from memory.” She winced internally at her words. Christ, Emily, do you think you could sound a bit more weird…..? Lucas looked at her strangely but said nothing. He took a step away. “I gotta go. See ya round, I guess.” He slouched away, Emily watching him go. Snapping out of her reverie, she began to hurry home. The picture she'd planned on drawing before was forgotten, but there was another she just had to put on paper. Emily was exhausted. She'd been up most of the previous night working on her idea, and she hadn't gone to bed until it was finished. The finished work was in the folder she carried, practically burning a hole in it, and she intended to show Lucas if she could work up the nerve. She needed to get him alone - laughable really, as he never seemed to be with anybody. But the school was a busy place, and it was difficult to find any solitude. She spotted him at lunchtime, sat far away from everyone else, slumped on the ground under a tree, long legs stretched out in front of him. He appeared to be reading. Come on, Emily. It's now or never. If he really hates it you can always avoid him for the rest of your life….. Giving herself the dubious pep talk, Emily made her way over to where he sat. Tired as she'd been that morning, she'd made an effort to look good, attempting to tame her wild hair and wearing her favourite cut-offs, but as she walked towards him she could almost feel her hair rebelling, fighting itself out of its straightened lengths and into a wavy snarl. He saw her coming long before she got there, and she had to endure the painful ordeal of being watched as she approached, feeling more self-concious with every step. Her mind tortured her with images of her finally reaching him only to be told to fuck off. He didn't, though. He merely regarded her curiously, one long slender finger marking his place in the battered Stephen King novel. “Hey, Emily,” he said cautiously. She managed a smile, and his mouth twitched in return. He obviously wasn't used to smiling at people. “I did it,” she blurted. He raised his eyebrows. “The drawing, I mean. Of you.” She fumbled in the folder, nervous fingers tweezing the paper from within. Now the time had come, she was embarrassed for him to see it. He sat up straighter, watching her, and she took a deep breath before passing him the picture, painfully aware of her fingernails, bitten down to nothing, as she held it out for inspection. Lucas put his book aside and accepted from her, holding it by the edges with a certain amount of reverence. She watched his face as he scrutinised it, but his expression was unreadable. He hates it! Screamed her brain. Abort! Abort! The drawing was done in coloured pencil, and depicted how she'd seen him in her moment of epiphany yesterday: His profile, set against the sun, his chin high, the light touching the tips of his ears and glowing around his head. She'd exaggerated the illumination, colouring it more brightly than it had really been, creating a kind of halo around him. Emily’s heart beat hard in her chest as his gaze travelled over the paper, going from top to bottom then climbing back up again, but his attention to the drawing meant she could study him at her leisure. There was the faintest peach-fuzz of stubble along the line of his jaw and above his upper lip, softening the hard angles, and the sight of it made her feel inexplicably weak. In a moment of pure insanity she envisaged herself running her hand along it to see how soft it was. His forehead was high, his hairline set back - he would start balding prematurely, she predicted - but the buzzcut he had was starting to grow back in, and the hair on the back of his head looked almost as unruly as hers, sticking up at odd angles. It looked fluffy, though, and now there was another thing she wanted to touch. Feeling odd towering over him, Emily crouched down next to him, watching his eyes scan back and forth. His bottom lip was jutted out slightly in concentration, and Emily felt her face grow hot as she wondered how he would taste. Like cigarettes, most likely - she'd seen him puffing away on more than one occasion. There was a little wrinkle between his eyebrows, a small tuck in the flesh as he frowned, and she let her gaze wander from that to the prominent jut of his nose, lingering over the little bump on the bridge. She wondered it the bump had been caused by an old break. She looked up to his eyes again, blissfully feeding her hunger, but to her horror they were looking right at her, the pale blue circles piercing her. He looked taken aback, though whether it was from his reaction to the picture or to her attention, she couldn't tell. His lips parted, and she found herself biting on her own in response. “This….uh….this is real good, Emily.” He sounded awed, and that feeling she'd had yesterday returned, coursing through her belly, giving her a pleasant little twinge. “‘Cept I don't really look that good in real life,” he said. “You do to me,” she said without thinking, and cringed. He looked startled for a minute, then suspicious, perhaps expecting derision. It was clear he wasn't accustomed to compliments. Emily fought hard to keep her own face open and frank, but she'd embarrassed herself with her sudden admission. He stared at her for an uncomfortably long time before his mouth finally turned up at the corners. “You're a strange one, Emily. But that's ok. I don't mind strange. You wanna sit with me a spell?” Unable to speak, she merely nodded, and sat gingerly alongside him, her back against the same broad trunk. She was careful not to touch him, not just out of fear of any imposition, but because she wasn't sure how her body would react if she did. “Here,” he said, holding the picture out to her. “It's real good. I like it.” She made no move to take it back. She had fully intended to take it home and pin it on the wall above her bed, but seeing his evident satisfaction in it she made a spur of the moment decision. “You can keep it. If you want,” she offered. He frowned. “I can't keep it. Must o’ taken you hours!” “No, really! You can. I can - “ she choked off the words. I can draw another one, she'd been about to say, and she would, but she didn't want him to know that. The next one would be forward facing - a portrait. She wanted to try and capture the ice in his gaze, though whether she'd be able to do it justice she didn't know. He was such an interesting subject. Not pretty in any way, but different enough to stand out in this place where everyone tried to fit in and look the same. Not to mention the fact that she had developed a substantial crush on him in so short a time. Slowly, he pulled the paper back toward him. “Well, if yer sure…..” he said. He looked at it again, the pleasure plain on his face, and just the knowledge that she'd produced something that made him happy in even a small part made Emily feel better than she had in a long time.

[oldmaidwhovian]

100 question meme---cos’ I’m bored

1. What board game do you like the most?

sequence dice

2. If you could rid the world of one disease what would it be?

diabetes

3. If you were offered the position of mayor of your city, would you take it?

No

4. Favorite day of the week?

none---all the same to me

5. If you inherited or won a million dollars, what’s the very first thing you would do with the money

pat off debts

6. Give me the names of 3 objects or things you love most

my Georg Hoose cowboy painting that my late aunt gave me for my 7th birthday

my home library

the ceramic cat I gifted to my mom her final Christmas

7. Did you grow up here?

No, 50 miles south

8. Which are your top bands or singers?

The Proclaimers, The Beach Boys, John Denver, The Takeover UK, Chicago, too many to list....

9. What school activities do you or did you participate in?

Not many in elementry school...high school riding club and glee club....college i did theater, radio broadcasting (briefly), anthropology club, international studies.

10. Do you have any siblings

one

11. Where did your family go on vacations in the summer?

Haven’t been on vacation since 2005

12. What jobs do your parents do?

Nothing, they’re both deceased

13. What is the best job you ever had?

Groom at a dressage stable

14. What time do you normally go to bed?

no specific time

15. Have you ever been in a car accident or seen one?

yes to both

16. What’s the biggest personal change you’ve ever made?

Living on my own

17. What’s the size of your shoes?

varies due to an old injury leading to a misshapen foot--but generally woman’s 8.5 US

18. Name 3 things in nature you find most beautiful?

sunsets, soaring hawks, the sighing of pine trees (namely the Eastern White Pine) in the wind

19. What would you do if you were the lone survivor of a plane crash?

ummm-try and continue surviving?

20. What do you do in your free time?

Read, pet the cat, watch youtube videos, listen to music, play cribbage or whist online, take naps, go for walks if I’m able, ride the bus somtimes.

21. What were your childhood pets?

Cats, guinea pig, dogs, chameleons, turtles, mouse, goldfish, pigeon.,

22. Do your pets do any good tricks?

My lovely Shamrock was just like Lassie, and did a regular routine of tricks

23. How old is your current pet?

Maisie I think is around 2

24. What two languages would you like to be fluent in?

French-Canadian and Friesian

25. What’s the worst job you’ve ever had

housekeeping at a casino-racing complex

26 How often do you brush your teeth?

depends on my level of manual dexterity on any given day

27. If you were in a witness protection program, what would be your new name and where would you go?

Sarah Jane Smith....Friesland, cos’ the people are nice and the land is flat

28. Do you have any relatives in jail?

Not at present

29. If it were possible, would you live on the moon?

No

30. Do you find these questions funny?

meh

31. Define a really funny question?

makes me grin

32. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

no

33. What is your favorite smell?

horse

34. Do you believe in Bigfoot?

UM--it’s always possible, I guess

35. When did you learn how to drive?

in my early 20′s

36.   If you could go back in time 1,000 years, what year would you visit?

Hadrian’s Rome

37. What’s the weirdest dream you’ve ever had?

Can’t remember

38. Would you let me slap you for a hundred dollars?

sure, why not?

39. Who would you hate to see naked?

Donald Trump---bleurgh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

40. Would you dress in drag for $25?

Sure, it’d be a hoot

41. How old is the oldest cell in your body?

59 years, 22 days...I think?

42. If you could start a collection of one kind of item, what would it be?

antique custom made cowboy chaps

43. If someone wrote a biography about you, what do you think the title should be?

Boring As Hell

44. What’s the meaning of life?

Try not to die too soon

45. Do frogs have ears?

beats me

46. If you could study anything, regardless of your aptitude for it, what would it be?

saddle making

47. Whats your favorite season?

autumn

48. Have you ever seen an actual ghost?

yes

49. What was the first thing you ever collected?

Antique bottles

50. In a scale from 1-5, how afraid of dark are you?

1

51. Who was your first celebrity crush?

David Cassidy

52. Date someone older or younger?

Neither, ceased dating decades ago

53. What is the strangest thing you’ve ever eaten?

stinging nettle cheese

54. If you could trade lives with anyone for a day who would it be and why?

Anyone but a Republican, a pedophile or a drug addict

55. What famous artist, dead or alive, would you want to paint your portrait?

Vermeer

56. What’s something you always wanted to do as a child but never got to do it?

live on a farm or a log cabin in the woods

57. What’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever cried about?

can’t recall, I’m too old

58. What did you eat for dinner last night?

mac and cheese, creamed spinach

59. Would you rather play basketball or hockey?

basketball...I’m s__t on skates

60. If you could be on the cover of any magazine which one would you choose?

Western Horseman

61. Last thing you bought?

used sweatshirts at the charity shop

62. What is the funniest movie you have ever seen?

Arsenic and Old Lace

63. What scene from a film made you cry as a child?

When Ginger died in Black Beauty

64. What fashion trend do you wish would come back?

bell bottoms, haha

65. What fashion trend do you wish would go away

wearing pajama bottoms in public---crackhead fashion!

66. If you don’t know the words to a song do you improvise?

no

67. T.V. show you secretly enjoy?

I don’t own a TV

68. If you could bring one fictional character to life, who would it be?

The Doctor

69. One of your stuffed animals’ names as a kid?

I didn’t like stuffed animals

70. Do you butter the bread before putting the peanut butter on a sandwich?

My school caf and my late mom used to, but not me

71. Do you use perfume or aftershave before going out?

sometimes

72. Whats your favorite thing to do?

Before my stroke it was being around horses--now it’s reading

73. Do you watch cartoons?

seldom

74. Do you cook?

I was a cook when I was younger, now I only cook from scratch if I don’t need a lot of manual dexterity

75. Last dessert you had?

last of my ice cream

76. Describe the worst haircut you’ve ever had.

Did it myself and still ended up looking like an uncurried shetland pony--in fact, i called it the Thelwell cut, haha

77. What are two things you would do if you woke up to find yourself completely invisible?

ummm---not a clue

78. What was one of the happiest days of your life?

My college graduation

79. One really happy, hilarious moment in your life?

Being surrounded by, and getting licked by cows

80. What is one thing you refuse to share?

A Big Mac

81. If you could get away with a crime, would you? If yes, what would it be?

No

82. If you were about to be executed what five foods would have as your last meal?

pizza, Big Mac, prime rib, Ted’s fish fry, Hot Dog Charlies

83. Did you ever own a bare naked Ladies Cd?

no

84. What’s the furthest you’ve traveled?

Egypt

85.Have you ever grown your own tomatoes?

yes

86. Who is the most famous person you have ever met?

Dr zahi Hawass the Egyptologist

87. How many slices of pizza are you capable of eating in one sitting?

When I was younger and fatter about 4-6, now 2-3

88. Do you play a musical instrument?

I tried the cello, the piano, the flute and the guitar, but I’m afraid it’s hopeless...tho’ I can play a few tunes by ear.

89. Three favorite TV shows from your early teen?

Emergency! The Partridge Family, The Streets Of San Francisco

90. Radio or CD’s

Radio

91. Do you have posters up on your room walls and what are they?

A couple of western-themed posters, 2 travel posters and 1 Tiffany window poster

92. What is on your bedside table?

a lamp, a sound/sleep machine, and my alarm clock...and frequently a book

93. What is the thing you love most about mornings?

waking up and realizing that I’m not dead

94. What are your major goals in life?

Finding a place to live so I’m not homeless, cat-less and possession-less...and then working to improve my declining health, if only just a bit

95. On a scale from 1-10 what’s the highest level of pain you’ve ever been in?

10 when the horse ran over me at work and messed up my back, back in ‘91

96. What kind of phone do you use most often?

I can only use a landline since my stroke---just replaced my 1980′s novelty train phone which broke, with a modern 1960′s style teal colored ‘princess’ phone

97. The person you would never want to meet?

Donald J. Trump

98. What were your three favorite childhood toys?

Marx’s Fort Apache, Johnny West action figures, Matel’s ‘Drowsy’ doll

99. What is your favorite spectator sports?

Polo / show jumping / western reining / harness racing / basketball

100. What’s  your idea of a dream home?

A cottage or cabin not too far from a town or village,not big, with a screen porch to sit and chill

[mealsforsquares]

Sausage and Asparagus Risotto

I had a taste for risotto. The plan was to make pasta with sausage in it, as I was recording a podcast that night and needed to get dinner into everybody quickly and then not worry about it. The problem is that I have a streaky and largely-unreliable attitude toward keeping stock around.

Sometimes I dilligently keep mushrooms and bones and scraps around and turn them all into stock and am happy all the time, and this is one of those times where I’m….not doing that. Now, risotto forgives many things*, but I still had to improvise. 

Since I had some sausage anyway I decided to poach it and use the liquid to cook the rice. I got it in the pan with a whole onion cut into thick slices, a few smashed garlic cloves, a lemon cut into slices, some peppercorns, some allspice and a couple of bay leaves. To make it more stock-ish, I also added a carrot cut into big pieces, some celery done likewise, and a handful of dried mushrooms. 

I added them later because I wasn’t entirely certain about what I was doing, and I didn’t want the sausage to come out all weird and vegetal. As it was, I figured the sausage would stay sausage and I could blame any rogue vegetality on the stock itself. That seemed like a good plan. As it happened, there was no rogue vegetality anyway, but it’s always nice to have a plan. 

I simmered the sausage in there for awhile, then pulled them when they were cookd through and let the stuff simmer while I did the rest of the prep for the meal. That way it was already kept warm, so it wouldn’t need to change temperature when it hit the rice, and also would continue to extract some business from the vegetables and spices. 

The rest of the prep, then, involved dicing an onion, then sweating it in some butter. I chopped some celery fine to get those in there as well, then added some crushed garlic to the pan. I got the rice in there and toasted it, and this is all just regular risotto stuff right here. Deglazed with some white wine, then added the “stock” a ladelful at a time, stirring it a bit to get it all in there and then finishing it right before it was the correct texture so that carryover would get it the rest of the way**. Then I added some cheese to it, because I wanted cheese in there. 

While all that was happening, I also heated up the grill pan (I love this thing, man. I seriously am going to marry it). While it was heating, I dunked some asparagus in the boiling poaching liquid (I brought it to a boil for this purpose, and also emptied the sausage out of it), and then I threw the blanced asparagus onto the hot grill pan until it had a nice charred flavor. When the asparagus came off, I also used the same grill pan to brown up the sausage, which I then laid aside to rest. When the cheese melted, I chopped the asparagus into little inch long lengths and then stirred them into the risotto. 

I plated the risotto, then cut the sausages into thin slices and laid them over the top, followed by a thin chopping of parsley. It was fantastic, and did all the risotto work I wanted it to do, and I would happily make it every day, except that I’m trying to curb my meat consumption***, and won’t be doing that. 

It was good tho. Good job, sausage risotto.

* the lie that is perpetuated that risotto is a finicky, unforgiving, hidebound format that will punish people for doing even one thing wrong is super weird to me - bad risotto can be pretty bad, but it’s also extremely rare. Most risotto bottoms out at “pretty good, actually”. 

** the fn previous to this talks about how people make risotto in too fussy and too concerned a manner, and this is none of the more modern ways - no pressure cooker, no not-stirring a la Cooks Illustrated, none of that. I suppose it’s because I wasn’t thinking and was making it on the fly, and just made it the way I was taught and have made for most of my life. Mea culpa. I know I should be more rebellious about these things. 

*** this is a paradox, given that I’ve only written about meat things for the last, like, several entries. Here’s why: I have a bunch of meat in a freezer, and I want to use it up rather than throw it up.

[gabriellahasapetrover]

Bottom of the Barrel - Debrief

1. How have you been committed to your own health in preparation for the gig?

every Monday and Tuesday before we rehearsed, there was a vocal warm up session held, i found it very useful as i have found out many different things about the functions of the vocals and the organs that are used whilst singing and why it is important to exercise them so a singer can perform to their best ability.

these sessions consisted of various vocal and facial exercises that at first we all found quite funny and silly but yet to find out that they do really have an impact on our performance as singers. One thing i found interesting is when we would work out and stretch our bodies, as i didn't realise that the whole body impacts the voice when it comes to performance, whether your tense, slouching, or just standing in a certain position.

2. How did you and the company make key decisions and changes?

each Tuesday, we would all spend a day in the venue going through and watching each groups work and after each performance we would be asked to give constructive feed back and to also be given constructive feed back by the other students/members or the gig as we all felt that it was most fair to decide on what should be in the show or not as a company. we all made sure that what ever was said to your band(s) was taken into consideration and worked on as we all wanted to make sure that we gave the best performance we could give.

3. How have you contributed to the decision-making process?

i made sure as a performer and a member of 2 groups that i gave my opinion and ideas when it came to decision making, but i also made sure my contributions either worked well with other peoples ideas or if someone else didn't particularly like my idea, i would listen to what they don’t like about it so i can see if i could construct the idea that every one agrees with.

4. What key roles were you undertaking? (organisation/marketing/composing) Include screen shots/links and photos of any marketing materials

i took the key roles of a keyboard player/vocalist in one of my groups and one of the singers in a trio. i helped out promoting the Bottom of the Barrel pages on certain social media platforms, mainly Instagram, i posted on my personal social media to go follow the page promoting the show and it came to a great success, most of my friends followed back.

5. Describe how you researched your roles and how you applied the things you found out.

i did various research but not that much as we felt like it was not needed as most of the time we felt confident with what we were doing when it came to the necessary stuff such as lyrics, keys, chords, timing, instruments, we had it mostly all under control. 

6. Describe exactly what you have done in your roles, detailing any problems that you have encountered. What went well and less well and identify the most obvious ways in which improvements could have been made. (How practices could be altered to achieve greater success). You will need to provide an evaluation of the reasons behind the successes and a well thought out explanation for future improvements. How did your roles within the project made a difference?

On the final day, the day of the performance, an incident occurred, Marie, one of the singers in our trio, lost her voice, she couldn't say a word and she had to sing lead in a song and vocalise for the others but there was no chance of her going on stage and performing. So we discussed as a group we will not perform the song she sing lead on and perform the other two songs without her harmonise/ back up vocals. this was a difficult decision as it was so last minuet and we did realise that the songs we performed without her did sound different and like something was missing, but she taught us her parts of harmony and we managed to improvise. I was a keyboard player/vocalist in Bleach and i believe our performances went well, during rehearsal there was no particular problems, the biggest problems to occur that weren't even problems was if someone forgot something, which was easily sorted as they would just get a spare instrument or cable or capo from the office to borrow, even tho it wasn't the best quality, it still worked for the time being.

7. What went well and less well in other people’s roles?

What problems have you encountered with company discipline during this project? (timekeeping, concentration, respect issues, communication skills etc…)

me being in 2 groups caused some problems, the trio was formed quite last minute so at first rehearsal time was just when we had free time as we didn't have an actual rehearsal slot, us all being in different groups caused some difficulty as there was hardly ever a time when we were all free.

8. What problems did you have technically playing the music? Analyse all solutions.

no particular problems, it was mostly just sorting out levels most of the times, but i would have to say the main issue was having trouble hearing the vocals in the songs, it was mainly due to the fact the level of the instruments over powered the singers so we had to make sure we played to a certain level.

9. Look for good examples of staging, energy, movement, body language, spontaneity, connection between band members. Also post a video of another groups performance and add your own feedback on its strengths and weaknesses

i believe when performing in bleach we were all in the zone, doing our role the best we can, which we did and it was great, but we could of connected with the audience a bit more if we all moved around and maybe interacted with each other on stage, giving eye contact, smiling at each other etc. In the other group, the trio, our songs were a lot more slower so it would so it was a bit more different connecting with the crowed, we added facial expression and hand gestures to express emotion whilst singing which was great but maybe making eye contact with the crowed maybe would off drown them in and connect with the music more. When performing the song, You make me feel, we decided to add a dramatic pause to the build up, but i didn’t want to just make it a dramatic pause, so we decided to add some comedy into it as i love making people laugh, so when i paused i made a facial expression and kept my finger up waving it around to indicate people to wait and the audience loved it, it also really brought the people in and drawn them into what was coming next.

10.  Analyse your groups connection with the audience? 

when performing in both groups i made sure that i done my part of trying to entertain whilst doing my job as a band member, i do feel like we connected to the crowed when it came to the crowed liking our music and enjoying it, but i feel like they didn’t particularly feel or connect with the music, i think the main cause to this was when we were all performing our parts either on guitar keyboard  base drums or just vocals, we were all in our own little world, we could of connected with each other more which would of then make us connect with the crowed.

11. Did you get any audience feedback? What did you find out?

yes i did, very positive feedback from my friends and family and other audience members saying that i have great stage presence and that i connect with the audience on an amazing level. i found out that when i go on stage its like i become a different person, i switch persona, into this more energetic, fierce, passionate, confident person and i do admit that when i go on stage i do kind of pull of a character, a character that i created that tries to spread joy, positivity    and a message to everyone that watches that hopefully inspires them. But i cant lie, i still get extremely nervous for performances, i used to literally shake on stage, but i faked it till i made it.

12. Any other problems that you engaged with that have not been mentioned so far?

No, non that i haven't mentioned or discussed.