#bottom dysphoria is easier to deal with slightly only bc it’s so physically painful that i just. don’t have room for any other concern there

[clowningcrows]

shoutout to werewolf week (period) for being so good at making me hate every single aspect of myself and existence as a whole every goddamn time 😵‍💫

[thisiswhymomworries]

Week Two

hey it's ya boi back again for a week two transition update! boring info first, then a summary of what's been going on

When: 10/26/19 - 11/1/19 (started T on 10/18/19)

Testosterone: I'm using Androderm, which is a daily patch you stick on exactly like a nicotine patch

Dosage: 2 mg per day, although you can get them in 5 mg per day patches

Changes: Increased hunger (again), new pimples, slightly darker leg hair?, orgasms easier to achieve and feels 20% better

OK so I'm putting the stuff about that last change below the cut lol, along with the bullshit bad side effects from the patches

check out my week one post if you want to know how the increased hunger started off. it's still going though, but it does feel like I'm finally evening out, where I know how hungry I get now and when. for anyone who missed the week one post, the increased hunger means I get hungry a lot sooner than I used to (1-2 hours) and feel it more intensely. this is a difference only eating half to 3/4 of a sandwich, plus some chips, to being able to eat a whole sandwich, 1/4 a bag of chips, and dessert

the redness around my most common breakout areas (as I remember from First Puberty) has developed into one big actual pimple on my chin, and a couple smaller ones around my lip. still some redness on my forehead, but no pimples up there yet. I'm not doing any skincare routine at the moment, but I'm planning on adding a facial wash to my next grocery shopping trip

my leg hair might be slightly darker? idk it's hard to compare bc it's always been so light and fine, I don't have any pictures of it bc I've never been able to SEE it. I never even bothered shaving my thighs when I was femme bc you'd never know without physically touching my leg. the difference now though is that I can see it! so I think it must be a little darker to be actually visible now. no change in how much body hair I have though

tw: this next part does talk about genitals, and I'm using clit / vagina to describe things bc that's what I'm comfortable with. I know that's not the norm for most trans guys though, so skip down to the asterisks in the middle if you need to skip this part

I'm including this bc I couldn't find any good info from an actual trans guy about "downstairs" changes that wasn't actually just porn. scrolling through a thousand trans dick pics on a nsfw reddit sub just to get an idea of what changes to expect was NOT fun

so far, no clit growth as far as I've noticed. I don't have bottom dysphoria, so I'm not especially hoping for it either. I also haven't noticed my libido increasing (getting horny more often), my sexual attraction shifting (yep still ace), becoming wet more often / not getting wet as easily, vaginal tightness / soreness, or any chafing

the only changes have been that I think it's a little easier to make an orgasm happen, regardless of how good the stimulation actually is. I was having a lazy jack off session and hadn't really bothered to get everything wet enough and worked up enough for it to feel as good as it could have, but still had a fucking fantastic orgasm even though the stimulation was just mehh?? so that's weird but cool I guess

the 20% is just a random ass number. I absolutely cannot do math and there's no way to actually measure this. I've just noticed that the handful of orgasms I've had since starting T have been better. not like holy shit a LOT better, but better enough that I sure as hell noticed

for context though, I don't use any sort of penetration and haven't used those types of toys in about two years. haven't had penetrative sex in seven. so if there's any vaginal atrophy, or extra tightness, soreness, etc going on down there, I might not notice as much or as quickly bc I just don't mess with that area

***

OK bullshit skin reaction from the patches. I understand why they get a bad rep because going into week two, I have started getting some pretty nasty reactions, especially since I figured out these are 24 hour patches and started leaving them on that long

the least bad reaction is on my upper arms, which just have very small circles of red skin that coincide exactly with, or are smaller than, the circle of T on the patch that's supposed to seep into your skin

second worst is my stomach, with one side having a slightly bigger red patch similar to the ones on my arms, but the other side that's a little higher up being a much darker red and a bit larger

absolute worst is on my upper thighs. the right thigh has a HUGE swollen red patch, with a big circle in the middle that looks and feels like it got sunburned by a concentrated laser. left side isn't that bad, but it only starts swelling up after you take the patch off, so it could just be taking a bit to get nasty. it's worse than the bad side on my stomach in terms of being even a little bigger than that, but also not as deeply red

this isn't all that bad though bc they don't hurt at all. I'm typing this with my laptop and a laptop table braced on my thighs and stomach right now and absolutely no pain. they don't even hurt to touch, unless I scratch at them

unfortunately, I very much want to scratch at them. so fucking bad. because they ITCH. that's the real concern here. they itch really badly, and it gets way worse when I go outside in the cold and my skin dries out. I've been putting lotion on them a couple of times a day, and that does help. I think part of this reaction is that my skin always gets dry, red, and itchy during the winter, and the patches are 1) making that worse for the area of skin they cover and 2) drying out the skin badly enough that it takes way longer to recover, plus it's always cold right now, so my skin literally can't catch a break

again, I'm not too freaked out by this because it doesn't hurt. if anything hurt, I would be hauling my ass to the doctor because I have a very low pain tolerance! it's just itchy and looks gross. I'm also kind of chill about it because I have an appointment with my endocrinologist in a week anyway, and as long as my skin isn't peeling off or hurting or bleeding, I might as well wait and go in for that appointment instead of dealing with all the hassle, bullshit, and possible extra expensive of trying to arrange something sooner

I've included pictures of the skin reactions, which are kind of gross looking but no worse than a sunburn. underneath the comparison selfies bc I'd rather ppl see me as a human being first and then as a gross dry skin monster lol 

(better with or without glasses?)

gross skin reaction pics, didn’t get good ones of my stomach tho, sorry my thighs are so fucking pasty lol