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mythicalcoolkid · 5 years ago

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I think if I'd grown up in a good environment, not just in terms of family but as in actual physical place where we lived, that if I'd grown up in a liberal area where being outside the norm was encouraged - even celebrated! - that I could have grown up really happy and social instead of the depressed misanthrope pessimist that I actually was during those years. But for once instead of being bitter about what I lost I'm actually really emotional and happy thinking about that kid that I could have been

A kid who could've been active in a school queer group! A kid who could've been open and proud of his queerness! A kid with friends! A kid who went to social events and had FUN and talked and laughed and danced with people! A happy teen who listened to pop music and had a D&D group and was just proud of who he was, bad parts and all!

It seriously does make me emotional thinking about this kid. I love him so much and I wish him all the best. He's gonna have a great life and I'm so proud of him for carrying on. You go young alternate universe Mythic, you rule

#mcc /#this is also assuming I got treatment early on when I was supposed to #or that it didn't even have early onset at all if I was in a good environment #I listened to pop music tonight and I was just thinking about this scenario #I never really listened to it growing up first because 'pop music is stupid [and girly] so I hate it' (aka internalized transphobia)#(and a superiority complex because I was Gifted and therefore better than everyone else <biggest /s>)#I think even if I hadn't been depressed or a gifted kid though I still would've had trouble listening to pop music #because dysphoria/internalized transphobia #but listening to Shut Up and Dance and thinking about how much fun I could've had if I could have been fully accepted #and not stuck in my head all the time #school dances would have been great!#in real life they invariably left me by myself and feeling bad about myself waiting for the night to be over and wondering why I came #only time I had fun was when I brought my partner with me and we hung out all night #or one time with a group of friends when I was feeling the gender euphoria #but yeah #I just feel a very full heart for this hypothetical young teenage Mythic #bopping to Ke$ha and Brittany and hanging with friends

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