#booooooooooo π
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The thoughts in my brain about food rn are awful so like tw disordered eating for sure and tw for talk of health anxiety and nausea / throwing up
Eating disorder brain vs autism / ARFID brain vs taking my adhd meds again and having no appetite vs EATING DISORDER BRAIN BC MY MOM WAS ALL EXCITED FOR ME THAT I WAS GONNA GET ON ADHD MEDS AND HAVE NO APPETITE vs feeling nauseous from coming out of hyperfocus mode and realizing bc of my adhd meds I hadnβt really eaten in twelve hours vs just getting my blood test results back and seeing Iβm like low low in iron (and I hate eating things with iron Iβm pretty much vegetarian at this point (even tho I donβt like most vegetables) sometimes I eat a ham and cheese sandwich or bacon in a breakfast sandwich or like chicken if itβs not really seasoned other than salt and no pepper) and my sodium is too high which it has been consistently for years and those two things together are for sure fucking w my blood and my heart and (okay this is not doctor confirmed this is βfor sureβ from my anxiety brain. Not fact.) other shit and like high sodium low iron can cause dizziness lightheadedness heart racing like all this shit Iβve been dealing with that Iβve contributed to anxiety (which does get worse with anxiety bc of course it does itβs anxiety itβs gonna make your heart race and youβre gonna wanna sit down when your legs are jello) but itβs freaking me out im such a hypochondriac but i also have so many psychosomatic symptoms its so hard to tell the difference anymore β¦ vs the smoking cigs and losing an appetite vs trying to smoke less weed and not being hungry bc of it vs having heartburn from always having a stomach full of medication and barely any food or way too much food and not enough meds like itβs terrible I donβt know whatβs wrong with me in the brain why donβt I want to do the steps to fix it (me)
Itβs so funny that my body wants me to have an eating disorder so bad it makes me throw up daily without wanting to or especially after I try not to throw up and try to actually take my meds and space meals and meds out properly and I still throw up or get heavily nauseous why does this happen to me π€©π€©π€©
Idk what fucking eating disorder I have but something is going on !!!!! Iβve just been ignoring it for so fucking long and Iβve been like well Iβm not skinny at all so my family isnβt worried about me (they actively talk about wanting me to lose weight) and Iβm not throwing up on purpose so itβs fine but like Jesus Christ I eat the same maybe fifteen things I donβt really know how to cook for myself like cooking for real esp the real healthy meals I like and my mom doesnβt cook for the house anymore my brother stopped cooking really now that heβs working he just orders food in for him and mom and I eat more microwave frozen meals alone in my room while they hang out in the living room and eat watching tv together.
I hate anxiety and blood tests and food in general and taking medications with food and still getting heartburn or nausea I hate that I have to be awake in like seven hours and take my mom to the airport and idk if Iβm gonna wake up nauseous with a headache or not so π
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10.02.24
gahhh ive had such bad artblock recently my queue is decreasing in size rapidly but i must keep up the grind..!!!! throws these gays at you and runs away
#fanbrush#ii fan#ii paintbrush#inanimate insanity#did you guys know that ive been a pink hair paintbrush truther since like forever#even before they said that they would prefer pink dyed bristles in their interview#its cause i had an ii x omori au from when i was still fixated on omori#and they were aubrey#and aubrey dyes her hair pink so i made them dye their hair pink#and its just stuck#also also i hc that fan has a habit of carrying around bags#cause hes worried that if he doesnt have his eye on something he owns someone might take it#so if he has like. some sort of journal with SUPER SECRET THINGS!!! he keeps it in a bag so no one can read it#he also keeps his phone and laptop etc in there because he is irrationally afraid that someone will figure out his password#can you tell im projecting. im projecting#also#paintbrush ii#fan ii#ii fanart#osc art#art#hhhhh my head hurtssssssssssss booooooooooo πππ
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WE NEED TO LOCK @scaredinstigator UP πππ
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Fuck this stupid game I donβt even like it anyways π
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girl they are ship tagging my memes
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who tf finishes an outfit off with a bright ass orange bandana around their neck
#LOSER#and like whats even the reason. it has no use. bro was trying to make some kinda fashion statement#NEVER LET HIM COOK AGAIN BOOOOOOOOOOO ππππππ
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βb-b-but heβd have to change thousands of lines of code!!β
wahhh wah i donβt care. itβs ridiculous that this isnβt even on the agenda, the creator just fully intends to never implement the feature. what an asshole
AND ANOTHER THING.
stardew valley needs a FUCKING gender neutral they/them option. iβm SICK of being misgendered on there and it makes me not want to play the game anymore
#he didnβt even TRY#πππBOOOOOOOOOOO#also#i left a really polite reply requesting this change on concernedapeβs twitter#and APPARENTLY this is a controversial takeππ#man just add they/them pronouns bro#do it for the blue haired libs who make up the majority of your player base
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One of my friends canceled our plans this morning πππ
BOOOOOOOO to that Irl
BOOOOOOOOOOOOO BOOOOOOOOOOO
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me and some random guys minding our own business and having drinks: *sees a cybertruck pull up outside for the car wash*
ONE guy: βBOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! πβ (it was the loudest boo Iβve ever heard lmaoo)
i made a joke about how trash day came early and i got some laughs and thumbs up from a table
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guys start throwing the tomatoes
guys i literally want harry carnally but i have my reasons trust me on this
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hi..... do u take comms;............. please.....i big fan of ur rwokr...
BOOOO BOOOOO ππππππππππππππππππππππ BOOOO ππππππππ BOOOOOOOOOOO
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my library had an audiobook copy of a warriorβs choice (the last novella collection) so i thought iβd give it a listen for shits and gigs
daisyβs kin: cute! but just okay. probably the best story here. not much going on, but iβm glad daisy finally got some focus.
spotfurβs rebellion: Bad. at least 70% of the story was spent recapping events of the broken code that we already saw onscreen. there was massive potential here, too. i was particularly curious about the formation of Spotfurβs Cross-Clan Assassination Squad and that was ENTIRELY skipped over. booooooooooo π
blackfootβs reckoning: ehhhhhhh. lots of missed potential. there are some interesting ideas here (nine lives as a trial/test of strength) and potentially hinting at the more sinister nature of starclan (cats seemingly not wanting to be present for the ceremony)? it read a bit like fanfictionβ¦ but iβve read better fanfiction. ultimately, the story felt repetitive and uninteresting.
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driving over mr schue with a lawn mower. reversing. and driving over him again.
if anyone needs me iβll be rewatching glee
#seriously who the fuck looked at mr schue and thought βah yes this man is goodβ LIKE NO???#heβs such a hypocrite and also ableist and soooo many double standards#heβs literally scum. SCUM. between my toes :/#booooooooooo#π
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#πππππππππ
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