#boom was fucking phenomenal i walked out like. holy shit they did all that with ncuti just stuck in place

[hyaesia]

it's so amazing feeling so much joy & excitement about doctor who again, and being surrounded by so many other people who feel the same!! i loved thirteen really & truly and i don't think chibnall's who was As Bad as a lot of ppl make it out to be but it was definitely... lacking Something. the companions oftentimes felt more like concepts of characters than actual characters (& same with thirteen) and that sucks!!! the standout episodes like villa diodati and power of the doctor made that feeling even Worse because god dammit we could have had a whole 3 seasons of that and we didn't. and especially now with series 14 it's like... i really see now how much of that joy was missing

[justal0wk3yg4mer]

Things I've Said: Watch Dogs Legion (Spoilers)

Me *Player/My Actions* Character Dialogue

Heads up, this will be a long post. Due to the story and all the random missions there was a lot. Not to mention, I still have to play the DLC (That will be in a different post, I will give Aiden and Wrench the respect they deserve.) So sorry and I hope you all enjoy.

It's time to liberate London Boys! *Remembering all the other games I've played that had me liberate London*…Again.

Holy shit, it's November the 5th. 21st Century style.

Wait, am I driving on the left side? Fuck, I'm American and I already suck at driving in videogames.

Give me your secrets.

Bagley: Well fuck me. Me: Bagley! 😲

Long hiatus from this game, because I have the attention span of a 5 year old and started playing other games. I came back to it later and restarted to give myself the full experience and completely focus on this game.

Okay, first go around didn't know about the traps. Now? Now I'm never entering an area without arming every single one.

Careful Claire, those words get you shot.

The voice acting is phenomenal!

I'm so glad I bought the pass, fucking around as Aiden or Wrench is gonna be fun.

You can't find me~~ nobody can find me~~

This is now my cargo drone son, his name is Jeeves. We will travel together and explore London from the skies.

That's Dedsec, ye old clock fixers.

And here I go again. Doing everything else but the main story.

My operatives be lookin' bougie 😎

Fuck this wheel mission. Fuck it so hard.

Who's playing 'Fuck you'? *Goes back to the bike I was riding* Oh! I'm playing 'Fuck you'. Fantastic.

Who's shooting? I appreciate violence but not that violent.

Character: Albion's Global Center is here in London! Me: Crazy...not like they were establish here.

Is that? Is that the DJ from the first game? No, he died...right?

My spiderbaby got the zoomies!

That's Dedsec, we inspire illegal activities.

Bagley roosting someone is the highlight of my day.

Did you hear that man?! They're hoarding the toilet paper!

Bagley, next time, just say you're gonna make the bomb go boom.

Cybermen. Cybermen are back and taking people. (Doctor Who anyone?)

Yo Wrench, Bagley throwing shade at you and your crew.

Dalton had a husband?! Aw, poor baby, not gettin' deported on my watch.

That's incest Wrench.

Hm, Aiden still has that voice.

This house scares me; it has a tone. The AI is her mom, as fucked as that is, I'm calling it.

Oh Aiden, you're not that old...are you?

*Before starting the Assassin's creed missions* Wait, wait. I gotta do it. *Switches to Aiden Pearce* I had to do it, This is the closest thing to a crossover Ubisoft is gonna give us.

Eagle drone? I'm dead. *Gets closer to the drone and it explodes* Did that thing screech?!

Notorious gangsters? Oh, Evie would have a fit. Jacob would be so happy though.

Oh honey, you don't want to get into that wiki history lesson.

Darcy: Assassin's and Dedsec. Could you ever image that? Me: Uh, yeah. It was only a matter of time before Ubisoft broke down.

To Buckingham Palace! *Starts humming 'Hail to the Chief'* Wait, shit sorry, wrong song.

*Finishes all the assassin missions* Oh, new outfit. *Recognizes it as Desmond Miles's outfit* ...Fuck you Ubisoft.

Ah, I see. You can't continue until you do the other level. I see your jedi mind tricks.

Bagley: Oh no, she's off her fucking rocker for sure. Me: *WHEEZING*

*Hears something exploding in the distance* I didn't do it.

I feel that Zero-Day is memeing here. Like the, 'Would be a shame if I', that one.

I fucking knew it! You can't be that much of an asshole AND be desperate for help.

Lau please, for the love of God do not let this woman walk away from here. Fucking look at her smug face!

Random ACP: *Sneezes* Me: *Out of habit* Bless you. ACP: Thank you. Me: O.o *Cue X-Files theme*

Wow, you went off your fucking rocker didn't you?

On my grave. If this boss battle is a Rule of 3. *A few minutes later* IT'S A RULE OF 3!!!

You know you-*Referencing myself. Not calling anyone out*-suck when the game is giving you a fucking hint to go to an easier level.

What if Hamish was Zero-Day? I would be surprised...no, actually I wouldn't. If you really think about it, it makes sense. Now, Sabine? That would totally mindfuck me.

*Talks to Malik and really thinks for a moment* Is it fucking Sabine? Bro, I was kidding. But...*Really thinks about it and pieces are beginning to fit together*...oh fuck. And all of Dedsec is in one place- OH FUCK.

I am going to destroy this fucking van.

Evil listens to classical music cliché.

We gotta kill Bagley! Why?! Well okay, I understand why but WHY!?

*Chaos everywhere* Did I miss the Purge sirens?

Me: Why are there all these weapon caches? Hamish: Tons of drones comin' your way. Me: Ah, that's why.

Bagley: Shutting down this one will be just like the others. Me & My Operative at the same time: No it won't.

Final cutscene? *A minute later* Bagley! You tough AI--wait...'Finding Bagley'?!

How fucking would that be if Bagley was Sky Larson's brother and something happened to him and he became Sky's first subject.

Bagley did you have a boyfriend? 😃

*Plays the final corrupt memory* I FUCKING CALLED IT.

Bagley is Bagley. And Bradley is Bradley. And Sky Larson is dead. All is well.

[wtfevenismypage]

Sinfully Sweet pt.2

 Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Summary:You shouldn’t be this addicted to him, but he was just so sinfully sweet.

Warnings:Smut (Penetrative sex, oral (male recieving)), Cursing

A/N: Almost everyone said Spencer should be a switch (Dom+) so congrats! I’ll add a few sub Spencer scenes throughout the series! This series is going to be filled with a whole lot of Smut, so if that ain’t your thing, I recommend not reading!

You don’t completely remember how you ended up on your knees for this guy, but you weren’t upset.

You were sending winks his way throughout the night. 

He kept blushing, but it was so fucking hot.

He bought out your private room.

You giddily made your way over after a pep talk with Renee.

And now here you are, pulling his dick out of his boxers with a smirk. You tug his boxers to his ankles. Gently, you wrap your hands around it, giving it one long stroke and earning a groan from him.

It filled your ego with pride, knowing this was the response you elicited from him. 

You lick a thin stripe of saliva from the base all the way to his tip, wrapping your lips around his cock and twirling your tongue around.

“Holy shit.”

Oh. 

His voice.

It hadn’t occurred to you that you never even heard him speak a word before, you were too caught up in his body language, emphasis on the body. 

You took him in deeper, letting him hit the back of your throat, making you gag momentarily before getting used to the feeling of him. He tasted phenomenal, your tongue swirling around his underside. 

Your hands separate to different areas, the right on his balls, and the left on your barely clothed clit.

“Fuck.”

He grabs your already tied hair, gently smothering his cock further down your throat. You moan at the feeling of your cold fingers on your clit, feeling your arousal soak into your thong.

The noises coming from your mouth were straight out of a porno, so elicit and entrancing that both of you couldn’t stop moaning. 

The vibrations of your hums kept going straight to his cock, a euphoric feeling that he would be sure to remember. 

He pulls you up, your mouth coming off of his dick with a ‘pop’, and he pushes you onto the bed in the small private room. 

Quickly, he grabs a condom from the bedside table, rolling it over his lengthy cock.

“Shit... You’ve been staring at me all night baby, you want me huh?”

Of course he knew you wanted him. You’re not that good at hiding your body language, hell, you thrived off of making men reciprocate the lust that you expressed. He knew from the moment you tripped on the stage that you wanted him.

And he wanted you too. The moment he caught your eye he knew he wasn’t going to go home early like he usually does. Hell, Morgan wouldn’t stop teasing him for his sudden pique of interest in staying when he had so desperately begged Morgan to let him stay home. 

But now here he was, toying with your soaked cunt with those long fingers of his. You moaned out so loudly, if there wasn’t music roaring on the dance floor beyond the silk opaque curtains that blocked you and the mystery man off, they would have for sure heard you.

“Oh my god... Fuck me please!”

He lets a lazy smirk cover his lips, his fingers dipping into your tight pussy with a loud groan from you. 

He curled his fingers upwards, toying around with your insides as your eyes cross, your jaw dropping while he fucks his fingers in and out.

The moans just keep slipping out of you with each quick thrust of his hand. You plead and beg him to fuck you, whining for his cock to be inside of you.

And oh boy does he deliver.

Quicker than you can see, he inserts his cock deep inside of you, making you moan so loud it could practically be a scream. It stretched you so good, reaching the back of your insides and thrusting in and out at a slow, but rapidly increasing speed.

It felt electric, your orgasm snuck up on you unexpectedly. Your insides felt like an insatiable fire with his groans and moans being your fuel.

“Please... Please can I cum?”

You begged, pleading with his dark eyes that only made you want to cum more. 

And with a small nod of his head you fall far over the edge of euphoria, letting the warmth wash over your body and your legs shaking like thunder.

He followed quickly behind you, cumming into a condom as his dick is buried deep inside of you.

You must have blacked out on what happened next, because next thing you know you’re back behind the bar completely cleaned up. And Spencer is nowhere to be seen.

But Renee and Jake slide next to you, nudging your arms with smug smirks.

“What have you been up to little girl?”

“I was taking every chance I could get to get the fuck away from you two smug assholes.”

They dramatically laugh, and you look around, realizing that no one is really around anymore. It’s cleared out, all of the customers are gone.

“Okay, now that we are alone, tell me about your clients!”

Renee says, always the nosy brat. But you smile anyways, letting Jake speak first.

“Okay, I got laid by this super hot muscly dude, like, he was tall and tan and those abs sweetie. You can clean clothes in the fifties on those abs. and his skin was like, super clear. Not a single scar or blemish on his pale snow skin. Oh and don’t even get me started on his dick dude. It was massive.”

You smiled, Jake always did have a thing for muscles, you and him kind of had a complete opposite taste in men. You liked guys who were more lean and skinny, but he loved thick muscly guys.

“What about you Y/N? You seemed pretty happy to get to that private room.”

Renee says as a smile falls over your features. Hell yeah you were happy, that guy was fucking hot.

“Oh my god I don’t thing I’ve ever cum harder in my life. He like, filled me up so snug and good, and holy hell it was just amazing. Only issue is, I didn’t get his name, and I’m pretty sure he didn’t get mine.”

You shrug, grabbing your jeans and hoodie from your bag on the floor and slipping them on, clutching the oversized sleeves to protect your fingers from the cold air around you.

“Who knows, maybe he’ll return for more.”

That night you walked home in the rain, the freezing water making your skin jump up with goosebumps. When you arrived home, you ran a hot bath and scrubbed your skin down slowly.

You could practically feel his fingers on your skin, remembering his lengthy cock burying itself into your body. Oh what you would do just to feel it again, to allow him to completely ruin you. 

He was holding back earlier and you knew it. You wanted him to wreak havoc on your body, to pillage, use, and abuse it until you were left a quivering mess of foggy thoughts. 

Or, maybe you would wreck him. Maybe you would deny him an orgasm so many times he would beg you to let him cum. He would be left in tears by the time you were done with him. 

Maybe, just maybe, you would peg him. Fuck him senseless until he forgets his own name. Wouldn’t that be a beautiful sight? Him on top of you, bouncing on a dildo with those crimson red cheeks?

Soon enough you had your fingers fucking themselves into you, crying out from how sensitive you were but holy fuck it felt so good. 

You approached your high quicker than usual, thanks to the image of mystery man stuck in your brain, and you washed yourself down a final time before getting out of the tub and flopping on your bed.

You didn’t even care about your sheets soaking up the moisture of your body, which usually made you cringe, you were to tired to care. 

The next morning was dreadful. You woke up sweating with a stuffy nose and a sore throat.

“Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuccccck.”

You whine out, checking your temperature which was a booming 103 degrees. 

So you did what you could do.

“Jaaaaaaaake! Wake Renee up and get over here! I’m sick and I want soup.”

You shouted over your phone, listening to Jake chuckle.

“Sweetie we’re already on our way. Have you checked the time?”

So you look at the clock on your phone, groaning at the numbers.

“Shit... 10:34... I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize sweetie, we’ll be over with food soon.”

“Thank you my loves!”

Taglist:

@blablasomethingblabla @101donuts @annestine @etherealgubler @boxofsparklingmuses​ @andiebeaword @spencerreidsthings @nightlygiggless @taekwinkle​ @sixx-sic-sixx​ @fixatedfandomhunter @marvels-gurl @hopebaker @wolfyfuzzbutt​ @thatsonezesty13 @addie5264 @rainsong01

[kpop---scenarios]

First Time

Commissioned by: @mon-dayragingslut4monstaxday6​

Pairing: Minhyuk x Reader

Warning: Smut, Unprotected Sex

Word Count: 2.3k

A/N: I hope you enjoy!!!

"..It won't be weird, you know? It's just one bestfriend, helping out another best friend to bring up his confidence and lose his virginity." Minhyuk says, clearing his throat awkwardly while avoiding eye contact. 

"Might me momentarily awkward." You fake cough. "But really, Minnie, if you can't even look me in the eye and ask me to sleep with you, how are you actually going to do it? We've been friends for 8 years, I've seen a lot and this would be nothing." You snicker, rolling your eyes. 

"Because it's intimate." He harshly whispers. 

Your cheeks turn bright red at his embarrassment. This is the man you've been in love with for the last 7.5 years. The man who has yet to lose his virginity at the age of 24, the man who gets embarrassed when talking about sex. You shouldn't love him, but you do, with everything you have. 

"When did you have in mind?" You groan, but internally you're excited. You wont lie, there's a part of you that's terrified to do this. What if things become weird between the two of you, or everything gets ruined? Is it a chance you're willing to take? 

Absolutely. You'd felt on occasions that Minhyuk might have shown some kind of signs of liking you back but you need to be convinced enough to admit your feelings to him. Maybe now this was your chance? 

"Tonight. 8pm, don't be late and don't show up hammered either." He chuckles. A part of you knows he's joking but yet the other part, a much larger part knows he's being dead serious too. There have been more times than you'd like to admit where you showed up drunk to important events. You didn't like being nervous and alcohol soothed your nerves. 

"Don't worry, I'll be sober." You yell as Minhyuk walks out of your apartment. 

You had to be painfully sober for this if it was going to happen correctly. You couldn't afford any mistakes, it was now or never for Minhyuk to know how you felt. 

** 

You stare at the countdown on your phone as the time gets closer to 8pm. 

7:58pm 

Take a deep breath.

7:59pm

Knock on the door. 

You raise your hand, preparing to knock on the door but it won't move anymore. Maybe this is a mistake? Sleeping with your bestfriend is usually not the smartest idea, especially when it comes to keeping a friendship. These things tend to never end well, but on the other hand, do you really want to suffer for how many more years of being in love with him and him not knowing. Then you run the risk of him finding someone else, falling in love and you watching him be happy and live a life that should have been with you but instead it's with someone else. 

Knock 

Knock 

Knock 

You weren't willing to chance it. You needed to know if you could have that life, your dream of happily ever after. It was a possibility that was so close. 

"Hey." Minhyuk smiles as he opens the door. You walk into his apartment, his living room is cluttered with lit candles, the lights dim. Laid on the table were two glasses along with a bottle of wine, you hoped was for you. 

"What happened to sober?" You ask, nodding your head towards the wine. 

"Ease the nerves, not get black out drunk." He laughs. "Come sit." He smiles, patting the cushion on the couch next to him.

Quietly, you sit down, placing your purse on the floor before laying your jacket across the arm of the couch. You're wearing a small black dress, with something special underneath for Minhyuk. A sexy red piece of lingerie, his favorite colour. 

"Would you like a glass?" He asks. Eagerly you nod your head, feeling less weird now that you're here. 

The entire time you had been thinking about it, you had failed to remember that this was Minhyuk's first time, but not yours. You were going to have to take the reins, show him what to do and how to do it. If anyone was going to be nervous, it would be him. 

Minhyuk hands you a glass of wine, with what you could only describe as a droplet inside. "The fuck?" You question, looking from the wine to him. "Is this? What do I do with this? I need more, please." You finish holding your glass out in front of you. 

"No getting drunk." Minhyuk warned. "One glass to ease yourself, that's what was said." He tells you. 

"Uh yes a glass, not half a splash, don't be cheap." You smile. 

Minhyuk groans as he pours you now half a glass, as well as himself. He and you down it in one gulp. 

"Okay. So.." you begin before he cuts you off. 

"Come here and sit on my cock, baby. Let me spit in your eye." Minhyuk grunts in a weird deep voice, causing you to choke on your own spit. 

"What?" You ask. 

"Is that not what they say? I've watched a lot of porn you know, Y/N. I do know a thing or two." He smirks. 

"You know a thing or two.. from the unrealistic porn that's like super over dramatic and not very real?" You point out. "Also, what kind of porn are you watching?" 

"I.. well.." he stutters before you wave him off. 

"I don't want to know." You laugh as you get yo and walk towards him. 

Minhyuk stands up, facing you. Your head is pounding while your heart races as you think about the fact you're going to kiss him right now. You wondered if it would be weird, or if he's thought about kissing you? 

You stand in front of him, looking him in the eye as you slowly lean forward, your eyes eventually drifting to his lips instead. 

You finally close your eyes as you press your lips against his, waiting for him to laugh or push you away. But he didn't. Instead he wrapped his arm around your waist to pull you in closer. Your mouth moves in sync with his, as he slides his tongue into your mouth in one swift try. 

You have to admit, you're impressed with his kissing skills, considering he hasn't had much practice. 

"Now what?" He kind of murmurs, his lips barely leaving yours while not even opening his eyes. 

"We need to undress. So take mine, and I'll unbutton yours." You tell him. 

Minhyuk reaches his hands down to the hem of your shirt, pulling it over your head and throwing it behind him onto the floor. 

"Nice." He chuckles, staring at your tits while you unbutton his shirt. 

Once you slide it from his body, you tell him to take off your bra. 

"Uh." He mumbles as his hands stay in the air, unsure of where to go, or how to do it. 

"And you've claimed to watch a lot of porn." You scoff. "In the back. The clasp."

"Ah yes. Well they usually already have titties bouncing when I arrive to watch, so.." he tells you, unclasping your bra with one hand on the first try. "Boom." He shouts. 

"Beginners luck." You scoff. 

"Now what?" He asks. 

"Now, most girls enjoy this, but sometimes you might want to wait for them to tell you to do it unless you know they like it. Suck." You say, pointing down at your breast.

Minhyuk smirks just a bit before he cups your breast and lowers his head, taking your nipple into his mouth and sucking. 

"Mhm." You moan. 

Minhyuk can feel his cock twitch in his pants. 

He let's go with a pop, your face showing just how horny you were now. 

"Pants off." You say, pulling down your yoga pants while Minhyuk scrambles to discard his jeans.  

The two of you head over to the bedroom where you lay down on the bed and Minhyuk just stands there. 

"Is it fucking time?" He asks. 

"Foreplay. You need to fool around for a bit before you get to it unless it's a quickie, but we aren't doing that." You tell him. 

"So not like the porns. They just get right to it." He sighs. 

"Again, not real. Get down here." You tell him. "You can either rub my clit or lick my pussy, your choice. Most times the girl will tell you what they want." You say. 

"What do you want." He asks. 

"Lick my pussy." You say, spreading your legs. 

Minhyuk gets settled in between your legs, spreading your lips with his fingers before giving a few kitten licks. 

"Don't be afraid too…" you begin before Minhyul wraps his lips around your clit and begins sucking. 

"Oh god." You cry out, your hands gripping the sheets. You weren't entirely sure what he was doing to you but it felt phenomenal. "Two fingers.." you moan but he was one step ahead of you, already inserting two fingers inside you. 

"Shit. Fuck. Yes, just like that." You cry, arching your back. 

Minhyuk hadn't realized how good it would make him feel to see someone squirming under him, moaning his name like that. Now he just wanted to rail you. 

"Stop. Stop stop." You cry. Minhyuk lifts his head and pulls his fingers out of you, looking at you like he had done something wrong. "I don't want to cum yet." You explain. 

He understood, but not really. 

"On your back." You demand. "Have you ever had your dick sucked?" You ask. 

He shakes his head no. 

Excellent. 

You pull his boxers from his body, throwing them somewhere across the room. You're impressed by the length and width of his cock, a very good size. 

Licking your lips, you bend your head down, shoving his cock down your throat. 

"Holy fuck." He yells, his legs twitching. "Fuck." He grunts. 

You place your hand on the base of his cock, pumping him while you swirl your tongue around the tip, causing him to moan loudly while you lick up some pre cum. 

"Please stop, but don't stop, but stop." He groans. 

"Which one is it?" You ask, taking a small break. 

"If you don't stop I will cum." He admits. 

"Okay, so.." you begin but are cut off. 

"Now it's fucking time." Minhyuk excitedly says. 

"What position?" You ask. 

"Uhh.. regular? You know, normal.." he mumbles. 

"Missionary? Cow girl? Doggy? Reverse cowgirl?" You ask, just naming off a few. 

"Doggy?" He asks. You nod your head and get onto all fours, putting your head onto the mattress. 

"Yeah that's right." He grunts. "You gonna take my cock like the whore you are? Dirty fucking slut..face..slut" He says, landing a hard smack on your ass. 

"What the fuck." You partially laugh. 

"Is that not okay?" He wonders. 

"Make sure whoever you're fucking is okay with being called names. Personally I love it, but also have confidence. Slut face slut? Not your finest." You tell him. 

"Fair enough." He agrees, clearing his throat. He lines his cock up with your pussy before slowly pushing himself into you. 

"Oh.. holy.. shit.. so tight." He moans as he enters you fully. "Feels.. amazing." He grunts, tightly gripping onto your hips. 

"Now fuck me." You whine, grinding yourself against him. 

Minhyuk slowly pulls himself out of you before pushing back in, moaning loudly each time.

"Faster." You groaned, and needed him to slam himself into you. 

"I don't want to hurt you." He whispers. 

"I'll tell you if I'm hurting or not, until then rail me hard." You say. 

It was like a switch inside Minhyuk was flicked. He began to pound his cock into you, his nails and fingertips digging into your hips so hard you knew there would be bruises. 

"God yes" you cry. "Pull my hair." 

Without hesitation, Minhyuk grabs a clump of your hair, yanking your head back as he continues to ram you. 

When he let's go, your head hits the mattress once again. You reach down in between your legs to rub your clit while you have your ass as high in the air as you can for Minhyuk. 

Without you needing to ask, he lands another hard smack on your ass, sending shivers down your spine. 

"You like that, baby?" He grunts, fucking you raw. 

You liked it even more when he called you baby. 

"Yes." You moan. 

"Yes what?" He snaps.

You'd never pictured him as a daddy type, but then again you never really know. 

"Yes daddy." You moan.

"Fuck do I love that. Good little cock whore." He grunts. "You gonna cum for me?" He asks. 

"Shit. Yes daddy." You cry out, your fingers rubbing fast allowing your orgasm to come quickly. 

"Cum baby, cum for me." He yells and you do. As your orgasm washes through your body, you cry out while your body shakes and Minhyuk fucks you harshly, chasing his own high. 

"I'm gonna cum." He grunts. 

"Cum inside me." You cry out, just as he cums, filling your pussy up with his warm cream. 

"Oh my god. Fuck." He grunts as he slowly thrusts himself into you, spilling everything he has inside of him. 

"That was.. wow." You huff, laying in his bed, side by side. 

"I have a confession." He breathes. "There's a reason why I haven't fucked anyone " 

"What?" You ask, nervously. 

"I've been waiting for the right time to ask you.. because I've only wanted you but you were with Jooheon or whatever. So I waited." He admits. 

"Why did you wait?" You ask. 

"Because I've loved you for years, and I wanted my first time to be with you. I love you." He tells you, turning his head to look at you. 

"I love you too." You whisper.

[nightcoremoon]

I love horror, I just have impossibly high standards

anyway some of my favorite is the kind that is totally normal from the start, there's nothing off kilter or weird, everything is fine. it's mundane. but then maybe something strange happens and it's less mundane, maybe it's more colorful or lively. but it's not like it's scary or anything. maybe it's a little left of center but it's still fine. life goes on as normal.

but then suddenly it's not fine.

and it recontextualizes everything up until now and you realize oh my god it wasnt mundane at all, it was just pillars of foreshadowing and you realize this is the most terrifying thing you've ever encountered.

maybe it goes on with the weird scary shit and things resolve themselves later, but that gives you time to breathe and get accustomed to the horror.

maybe it just ends. maybe it's just suddenly "surprise, shit is fucked!" and then ~fin

that would be ideal. like, in the sixth sense, you find out Bruce Willis was dead the whole time, you see him making peace with his death, and then the movie ends. except without all of the overreliance on shock horror and the visually disturbing (for the 90s) shots of the entire rest of the everything.

but if the twist happens at the halfway point and things stay absolutely horrible for a while that's also good, like coraline. started off pretty normal, got a little weird, and then suddenly boom ITS HORRIFYING OUT OF NOWHERE.

a perfect example of the last line twist would be the girl with the green ribbon on her neck. aww the boy likes the mysterious girl and they fall in love and get married, really normal the entire way. and then oh surprise HER HEAD COMES OFF. simple yet effective.

I don't mind if it starts out the gate with being seven levels of fucked. dead space 2 opens up with nicole, narratively speaking just moments after she end jumpscares you in the first game, so we're already off-put. then 60 seconds in we see isaac in a straitjacket being questioned and in the background there's flashes of being on the ishimura and nicole's ghost walks up to you and slavsquats and her eyes light up and she whispers, then SUDDEN WHITE oh cool it's ok look it's franco from dead space ignition that's cool aww he's saving Isaac oh wow it's a really creepy atmosphere OH MY GOD IS HEAD IS GETTING STABBED AND HIS FACE TURNS INTO A GODDAMN ZOMBIE HOLY SHIT THEYRE EVERYWHERE RUN BITCH RUN CHAOS LOUD MUSIC BLOOD GUTS FEAR QUICK MASH THE A BUTTON OR DIE!!! oh everything is quiet now. good job you survived, now walk down the corridor to the next intense scary part. lather rinse repeat.

I like horror when it's well executed or creative and not schlocky and relying solely on savini's gore or unnecessary carnage.

friday the 13th is like, oh wow that person just got an axe in their forehead, I sure am quaking in my boots. oh wow the tall stuntman picked up a sleeping bag and slammed it into a tree, this sure is realistic. oh the scantily clad teen girl is running slowly through the forest while cain hodder slowly walks towards her, and he somehow catches up and stabs her with the machete. wow the effects sure look like foam core and wax got cut in half and is squirting ketchup everywhere. the music is sonically engineered to force my pulse to increase and I guess this is horror? oh look someone else got murdered. oh look another murder. I'm sure glad we spent the first 45 minutes of this movie getting to know the shallow garbage characters before they all get merced. wow crispin glover sure does know how to shake his head when a prosthetic attached with fake blood is on his head. oh look a dead body with arrows in it, the scream queen is piercing my eardrums, I guess this means I should be scared too. yawn. it's so fucking boring just watching people die over and over again. at least the later installments were either hilarious or batshit crazy. punching a dude's head clean off was the funniest thing I've ever seen in a movie given the context, and JASON GOES TO SPACE is the dumbest shit in any film but that's what makes it awesome. it had a stupid fucking robot fight. yet everyone hated it, so they rebooted it and surprising literally nobody it was the same shit but with more cgi so it looked even less real (not that it did in the first place). yet this franchise made hundreds of millions of dollars in ticket sales alone. nowadays there are people who see hockey on tv and ask "why the fuck is that guy dressed up like jason voorhees".

tell me why a free swedish gold source mod with blocky graphics and muddy textures and the worst lighting engine in 20 years and some bad questionable design choices in an almost direct ripoff homage to silent hill 2 and resident evil 2, crammed with bugs and bad collision and hard crashes if you die in a specific level while holding a flare which you literally need to always have lit because that's the mechanic the entire level was built around, by a team of like 6 people (half of whom were the voice actors and navmesh modelers), is still one of the best and well-crafted pieces of horror media I've ever consumed, while trash like the fucking craven-less elm street remake gets its dick sucked by everyone else because OH WOW ITS SO SUBVERSIVE AND EDGY AND GORY WOW COOL THIS IS REAL TRUE HORROR!

of course I'm approaching this from a purely american lens. japan's horror is phenomenal. mainly because it's not built around buckets of blood and literal pig carcasses and abusing actresses and actual rape scenes (although it's funny that people are totally okay with all of the graphic murders because killing people is okay and indulging in torture porn is fine but oh, god forbid a film shows something skin-crawlingly uncomfortable for the sake of making you feel disgusted and wanting a cold shower, no, the line is drawn there, you can stab a naked girl with a power drill or drop a chainsaw on her body and that's fine but if a snowman slams her body into a wall while his carrot nose is inside her hoohah that's when it's going too far? seriously? whatever I've beaten this dead horse). but eurocanadamerica's obsession with gore porn in horror and blumhouse's shitty jumpscare factories have reduced it to just... loud noise, stabbing, loud noise, stabbing, lather rinse repeat. this is horror now I guess.

nobody takes coraline seriously as horror. nobody takes the green ribbon seriously as horror.

the monster chasing you isn't horror. it's terror. horror is when you step on a bear trap while the monster is chasing you. the monster chase without the bear trap has no impact, it's just "watch this person fear for their life and die". yeah, if I wanted to watch a snuff film I'd look outside of mainstream markets. "oh but if it's just a movie it's not real" so says the people who suicide bait cyber bully and harass teens who ship a 17 year old with a 19 year old, or two people who work with batman, all over fictional alleged pedophilia and incest. because it's all bad unless it's violence. only sex is bad but not violence.

the violence cannot stand on its own. it needs to have narrative purpose. resident evil, all of the zombies and monsters were bioweapons being manufactured by a corporation. silent hill and cry of fear, all of the monsters are just the embodiments of the protag's inner demons. dead space, the batshit crazy religious cult wants to turn everyone into the undead since that's their idea of heaven, and you have to fight them and stay alive so you can prevent the universe from getting omnomnommed by the blood moons. f.e.a.r., a little girl with some psychic powers is studied, tortured, abused, and :/ raped (at least you don't see it) and she naturally responds by lashing out at the ones who hurt her and trying to reunite with her baby, who is... you! (spoilers).

what is the plot of friday the 13th? dumbass kids get drunk and have sex and let a little kid go missing and his mom has a psychotic break and starts killing them all, then they kill her and the kid kills more people and then he kills more people and then he dies and comes back and kills more people and then he dies so someone else starts killing people and then jason comes back again and kills more people again and he gets arrested and they try to execute him but he won't die so they cryogenically freeze him until he kills people in the future, and in a different timeline he kills people and fights freddy krueger. it's pointless. popcorn. drivel. there is no narrative purpose, it's just murder for murder's sake. and that's scary???

like I said. impossibly high standards.

I love horror. but holy shit is a lot of horror bad.

[itsbenedict]

i just finished Horizon: Zero Dawn, which holy dicks, might have been my game of the year if persona 5 hadn’t also come out this year. spoiler-heavy impressions (in the form of chatlogs with zero) under the cut:

god damn this game is just fun to play all the sneaking around and shooting stuff is really satisfying, and it feels great encountering some new machine that you don't know how to handle, and figuring out how to deal with it the balance is just right- strong machines can fuck you up, but nothing's a one-hit kill- if you fuck up, you get to chug health potions and run like hell until it loses interest, and then you try again it welcomes and rewards experimentation you organically develop strategies for taking them on stuff that seems intimidating and impossibly hard at first eventually becomes easy- not because you leveled up and got stronger numbers than it, but because you've done this before, you know how to dispatch these things in a matter of moments the giant crocodiles- scary, but you can knock off two thirds of their health by igniting their blaze canisters, and then play keepaway with their easily dodged ice blasts while you chip off the rest with easy headshots the swarms of hawks- overwhelming at first, but they completely flip out if you shoot two fire arrows at them, and you can keep them all downed while you work on taking them out the giant charging desert bulls- a couple ice bombs from the sling more or less immobilize them and make them take massive damage you always start terrified, trying different ammo on different weak points until you find something that works and then you feel like an invincible badass despite not really being any stronger in absolute terms

Zerovirus: that's the good shit

Benedict: it reminds me of the witness, in that you progress and gain abilities by learning systems and getting good, rather than by getting abstract experience points and leveling up i mean, you do level up, but it's just more health mostly

Zerovirus: health, more inventory, better harvesting abilities is what i think it was? and some jump ambush skills

Benedict: it's health and skill points the skills are pretty cool- none of them feel mandatory, but they all make something slightly easier like one gives you a few seconds of bullet time to line up a shot- it doesn't let you do anything you couldn't before, but now you're more likely to succeed and then there's the stealth melee takedowns that i barely use because everything in the fucking game notices you if you get too close no matter how quiet you're being for the same reason, i haven't used overriding since the game made me for a quest early on my advantage is in staying far away and hidden and able to disengage at will getting in close is always such a bad idea

Zerovirus: on the other hand, i'm pretty sure eventually you can override t-rexes and just watch kaijus fight

Benedict: oh yeah the cauldrons the first time i encountered one of those was incredible like, okay, here's a post-apocalyptic wilderness, but OH GOD TETRAHEDRON SPACESHIP ZONE

Zerovirus: were they disorienting for you as a player?i kept getting lost watching the lper navigate them they were really damn cool though what a great total environment change

Benedict: no not really so far they're pretty linear anyway they'd be cooler if the reward for completing them wasn't "now you can do that thing you never do to more things"

Zerovirus: just do the one that lets you do that thing to t-rexes it's entirely viable to go for an override playstyle with sufficient bolas and big boss monsters to hax i mean, you have the bolas, right the.. i mean, the ropecaster the thing-what-lets-you-tie-robots-down-and-make-them-easy-killings

Benedict: oh, right i uh haven't used that either like at all, i haven't tried it yet

Zerovirus: dude try out the ropecaster the ropecaster is what makes override viable as a playstyle it's basically 'shoot it three times in any part of its body to totally immobilize it for a few seconds' (bigger ones might need more than three i think)

Benedict: honestly i haven't thought about it much since my other weapons are so cool, but huh i think the reason i didn't try was because it seemed too good to be true "yeah, this thing you just shoot and it stops the enemy"

Zerovirus: no dude the ropecaster is easily the coolest weapon really locking down enemies is super effective well, that and setting up wire traps and just letting your enemies walk right into them that one never gets old either

Benedict: i use the tripcaster... probably not as intended

Zerovirus: ==>?

Benedict: like you're supposed to put it in an enemy's patrol path so they walk into it but the problem with that is they're usually around other enemies and if you go in to capitalize, you'll get ganged up on

Zerovirus: what the lper i watched did was set up like eight traps in a ring around himself and then make lots of sound and just watch the mobs walk into his death circle it was, frankly, really amusing

Benedict: i tried that once- it failed because i tried it on sawtooths, who, uh they jump. over. the wires. and kill you. oh my favorite enemy to fight right now is ravagers they're huge and scary, but it's so easy to kill them one tearblast arrow to the exposed gun pick up gun fucking annihilate everything in sight there's only a few things that really bug me about this game so far one is that the voice actors are way better than the writers, and it feels so weird hearing good voice actors try to breathe life into really fucking tedious dialogue there's been maybe two characters with more than one personality trait

Zerovirus: the plot of this game isn't super deep or anything don't worry about it too much it's very hollywood robot apocalypse scifi

Benedict: yeah, i'm not- i'm here for the cool robot hunting the game does some pretty ham-fisted stuff to explain why the player is the only one who can do a quest 90% of the time it's "this area is taboo, and everyone but you is too superstitious for some reason" also: the inventory screen is bugged out wrt the little exclamation points to indicate you have new shit i can't discern a pattern, they just seem to be placed at random 

SEVERAL DAYS LATER

Benedict: so zero you told me not to worry about the writing, the plot isn't super deep or anything but holy fucking shit almighty horizon zero dawn got so damn cool i think my gripes with the writing early on were a product of how the nora suck they're an offensive native american caricature, a bunch of nature-worshipping tribal dimwits with more superstitions than brain cells as soon as the writers stopped writing the nora, the writing improved immensely and i'm pretty much almost done with the plot at this point i reached zero dawn and went and heard gaia's message in all-mother mountain and holy fuck this plot got so cool i honestly wasn't expecting explanations for stuff the beginning of the game got me thinking they'd be more interested in treating the whole sci-fi backstory as a mythology for the world like yeah cauldrons make machines, they're like, some fuckin factory whatsit the Mysterious Ancients made instead of what i got, which was several extended sequences of crawling around in ancient ruins and getting a meticulously thought-through backstory through audio logs and stuff my jaw was hanging open for like the whole zero dawn facility section "no, they didn't stop the robot apocalypse halfway- they let it play out until the robots ran out of biomass to eat and reduced the earth to a lifeless hunk of rock, and then deployed a friendly AI to re-seed it with biological life" holy shit incidentally: holy FUCK was the Hades subsystem a phenomenally shitty idea hey gaia try this: if you fuck up, reset things yourself!! you don't need an autonomous ABSOLUTE DEATH GOD that fucking takes over your systems and fights you for control!! it was just such a terrible plan that it breaks my suspension of disbelief a little with all the audio logs in the zero dawn facility with candidates second-guessing and questioning the entire project, no one thought to bring up "hey, maybe the WIPE OUT ALL LIFE AGAIN adversarial subsystem we're building carries a few inherent risks" the conflict here kinda seems like a diabolus ex machina, honestly they could have easily just had Hades be an accidentally reactivated Horus unit- the Faro robots kind of already have a wipe-out-all-life directive that would make perfect sense technobabble your way into saying the Faro plague hacked Gaia somehow, and boom but fucking Hades the whole conflict driving the plot is the equivalent of the supervillain who builds a big red self-destruct button on his machine that aside, this game's plot has turned out to be really fucking cool i came close to tears a few times in the zero dawn facility humanity's best and brightest having various visceral reactions to the shock and despair of the project's nature god damn was that one of the coolest reveals i've ever had in a video game i'm really pleasantly surprised by how much detail it gave me- it really made "find out what the fuck is the deal" the player's central motivation i think the nora shit in the beginning got me expecting that their worldview would be more or less validated by the narrative but now i come back to the starting area to save all their asses, and it becomes abundantly clear that these people are small and backwards and the world is so much bigger than them likewise the moment where fuckin whatshisname dadmurderer captures you and puts you in the sun-ring right on the heels of all the huge plot reveals he's standing there monologuing about prophecy and the sun and how important he is and following what i'd just gone through, it was so, so pathetic to watch this half-naked thug go on and on about how this, this moment of knocking me out and capturing me for some gladiatorial shit, was the most important moment in the world and i'm just sitting there shaking my head at him like, dude, you ain't shit. you ain't even in the vicinity of shit.oh, you've got a corrupted behemoth for me to fight, totally unarmed? don't make me fucking laugh, i eat that shit for breakfast (sorta took the wind out of sylens' rescue at the end when whathisface sicced two corruptors on me) (like dude i had this. two corruptors is god damn child's play.) i'm so fucking overpowered right now, i've completed every single sidequest save the armor one, where i still need the core from the last area oh, corrupted thunderjaw pinning down the entire nora tribe? Y-fucking-AWN ice bombs plus actual bombs, dead in two minutes not that the combat has become boring- attacks still hurt, i have to dodge and get the fuck out of the way and heal off hits that take off more than half my bar, it's really tense- but i can always heal, can always dodge, there's a great rhythm to attacking and dodging and attacking and dodging

[sassysweetstories]

Talent

Summary: You are a YouTuber who does material like PAINT. You and Dan are dating, soon you tell your fans along with Dan’s.

Ship: Dan x fem!Reader

Warning: fluff, angst, swearing, sarcasm, sass, etc.

Your P.O.V

I put my microphone away, rubbing the back of my tensed up neck. I’d been working on my latest video for hours on end. I finally finished it. It was my rendition of Enter Sandman by Metallica. I’m a YouTuber, and quite a big one. Not to boast or anything. I do music videos, kinda of like Jon Cozart. My latest one was a shit load of editing. I’m extremely diverse when it comes to musical instruments. In certain frames, I was positioned playing two different electric guitars, drums, and singing. My videos are very different. Sometimes I’m doing beautiful calm songs or hard rock and everything in-between.

People loved it. I guess that’s how I met my now current boyfriend, Dan Howell. He loved my personality off and on the camera. We soon became a thing. We didn’t live far from each other so, meeting up was relatively easy. I glance over my video once more, biting my lip down in concentration. My focus was peeled away when I heard a loud ding. A text from the one and only, Dan Howell. Every time I got a message from him, my heart soar. ‘How’s the video coming along, love?’ I shake my head, smiling to myself before typing back. ‘Pretty good. Should be out in a few minutes, love.’ A few seconds pass before he replies. ‘Is there any chance I can get a sneak peak? ;)’ I roll my eyes, laughing. ‘Sorry, no can do. But we can hang out and watch it together if you want?’ He replied, almost immediately. ‘Sounds wonderful, love. See you soon!’

God, he was adorable. I take a deep breath, watching again, for what felt like the millionth time before I click ‘POST’. Shutting off my computer, slipping on my jacket, I walk out the door and head over to Dan’s. ‘Be there in a few minutes, DON’T WATCH IT WITHOUT ME!’ Within seconds, my phone dings. ‘Ugh, fine. IT’S LIKE YOU KNOW?! DO YOU HAVE POWERS OR SOMETHING?!’ I laugh lightly. 'I wish lol, here.’ I stumble up the stairs before making my way to the door. He opens it within seconds, smiling wide and bright. “C'MON, LET’S WATCH IT!” I roll my eyes, cheeks flushed. He adored my musical talent. Often showing me off to his friends for getting someone so diverse in such an art form like music itself. We plop down on the couch, slipping a blanket over our legs, he pulls out his computer. I look up the video, clicking on it. Dan’s overflowing with anticipation.

I bite my lip to hide my discomfort. I hated watching myself sing and perform. Honestly, I didn’t think I was good enough. But that didn’t stop Dan from assuring me that, I was, in fact, good enough. The one good thing about me is that I’ve got an insane vocal range. It can vary to an alto, rarely reaching a soprano, but can go down to a tenor. If I try hard enough, I could probably reach baritone. So, when it came to the song, Enter Sandman by Metallica, it was easy to do his voice. I could, with a lot of practice, have a growly, sexy voice. So low, that it would sound like a man. In the video, I’m shot by multiple frames, one singing up close, two others on electric guitars and one on the drums. My makeup was pitch black, smokey and hot. My outfit was dark and somewhat scandalous. In one of my shots, specifically the one that focuses on my lip movements, I’m wearing a beanie with my hair tucked deep inside. Piercings sprinkled my ears. I’m not gonna lie, I look hot af.

I lean back, watching Dan as he watches me- well video me. The video begins, fog and smoke sprinkle the ground. The lighting, shots and frame make me very happy. It was perfect. It shows four different angles, one with me and my electric guitar, another with me singing, another with me playing the drums and the last playing a bass guitar. As soon as the song ends, Dan literally howls. “THAT WAS FUCKING AMAZING! MY GIRLFRIEND IS SO TALENTED!” I roll my eyes blushing. “Thanks. I didn’t think it was that good.” He scoffed, shoving the computer in my face. “Read ‘em and weep, love!” Dan motioned towards the comment section. I glance over them, smiling.

HOLY SHIT! I FUCKING LOVE (Y/N)! I LOVE GIRLS WITH LOW VOICES!

              She is so sexy I’m gonna die!!!!!

AHHHHHHHH THIS IS SO PHENOMENAL!

                                                     She is so freaking talented, like holy shit.

“My beautiful, talented girlfriend.” Dan whispers into my ear as he nuzzles his face in the crook of my neck, kissing it. I glance back at them. “Think we should tell them?” He laid down on my lap, I run my fingers through his hair. “The fans? The world? Well, I mean we already told Phil, our friends and family. D’ya think we’re ready?” I shrugged, biting my lip. “I don’t know. I’m ready whenever you are.” He grinned, launching up to kiss me. “Than lets do it. Right now.” My eyes go wide. “Right now?!” Dan nodded, running across the room to grab his camera. I shake my head, laughing. I stand off to the side, writing down never have I ever’s. He sits down, grinning like a child. “Okay- so, I’ll do my normal introduction and then I’ll introduce you-” I nodded, smiling. He began as per usual.

“Hey guys! So, this has been a long time coming video and I can’t tell you how excited I am to be making it. There has been some speculation on who’ve I’ve supposedly been dating- most, if not all the people on the internet think I’m dating Phil- I’m sorry to burst your bubbles but I am not. So this video is about the person I am actually dating. I would like everyone to welcome my girlfriend- the one, the only, (Y/n) (Y/L/N)!!!” I take that as my cue to enter. I sit down next to him, smiling. “Hi…” Dan giggles. “Oh my god, look at you!! You're blushing!” As he said that, I blushed even harder. “Stop it!! It’ll only get worse if you point it out!” He laughed, kissing my flushed cheeks and then the top of my head. I flushed even more.

“Okay so, we’re gonna play, Never Have I Ever!” He grinned, grabbing the cards from my hand to shuffle. “Okay love, would you like to go first?” I nodded, taking a card only to swear under my breath. “Shit.. Okay, so never have I ever had a one night stand.” I put one of my fingers down and clap my hands together. Dan’s eyes go wide. “There’s a lot about you I don’t know, haha.” I bit my lip, laughing. “That’s a good thing, haha. Now you read.” We go back and forth for a little while before Dan finally ends the video. “Okay, and that’s a wrap! Thanks for watching! Click subscribe to be kept up to date on all my videos! I’ll be sure to put (Y/n)’s Youtube channel link in the description below. PLEASE go check out her channel! She’s incredibly talented! Honestly, I don’t know what I did to get a girl like her! Thanks guys! See you later!” I blush and shout before he turns off the camera. “By guys!”

“Stop showing me off! I’m really not that good.” He rolled his eyes, kissing me, passionately. “You are perfection. C’mon, help me edit this and we’ll post it together.” A few hours past before we finally finished the video. Dan decided to go on twitter to set out a tease for the fans. I do as well. I cuddle close to Dan, looking up at him. “You ready?” He nods, kissing me again. “I was born ready.” We click POST and wait. It takes a few minutes but within no time, the comments section is booming. Not to mention twitter. They were all so heartwarming. Mostly kind words. Some of course, were not that kind but I didn’t care. I was happy to be with Dan. I loved him.

(I hope you liked it)