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Goodreads 1 star reviews complaining about how the book was trying to be "edgy". Babes you picked up a book about sci-fi necromancers with a cover of an aviator-wearing skull-painted lesbian and you weren't expecting to run into any edge lords or emos? That's not the book's fault, that's a skill issue
#with love#what the hell are you talking about#goodreads#gideon the ninth#gideon nav#harrowhark nonagesimus#book review#the comment section is always so funny#and so infuriating too#the locked tomb
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The Great Goodreads Diss List (Part 1)
Context: For many years now, I have been collecting funny lines from Goodreads reviews to share with my coworkers. (I do collection development, reader's advisory, and weeding at a public library, so I read a LOT of reviews)
Are some of these, perhaps, rather mean? Yes, but they are also very funny, and come from a place of honest frustration. In the tradition of Bargepole threads and lists everywhere, names and titles have been censored.
"First, I want to say that I understand how hard it is to write a book and how amazing it is when it is actually published. Congrats to the author for that accomplishment. That said--"
"Warning: This review will be lengthy due to pure hatred."
"I found myself feeling really, really annoyed with the world that this book is allowed to exist. We live in a universe where the passenger pigeon is extinct but this book goes along merrily being read by unsuspecting lovers of words and ideas and stories? It just seems like too much, you know?"
"Don't do it. Don't spring the cash for the hardcover. Instead, eat an entire bag of Twizzlers, spend some money you don't have at a high-end department store, look up on Facebook the shady college boyfriend that made you cry, research the current value of your home or 401K and then read all about how the big hedge fund managers are faring during the economic crisis. You'll feel about the same stomach pain if you waste your time reading this book."
"This wretched novel begins with the mugging of an old lady and it appears I may be in the process of repeating that loathsome crime as [author] was 78 when she wrote it. It is not nice to put the boot into such a poor defenseless old creature lying there with only a damehood, a Booker Prize and a few million quid. It’s a nasty job but somebody has to do it."
"I think this is the way dead people would write, if they could."
"I am considering setting up SPABB: Society for the Protection of Accurate Book Blurb. This blurb appears to have been written by someone from the publishers who met [the author] the night before, got very drunk, lost his notes and then constructed something in a fug of hangover the next morning."
"I congratulate [the author] on the early half of his book, which was thoroughly fun and made me laugh and think. I congratulate [the author] on the second half of his book, for finishing it. It reads like that was difficult."
"…a woman whose taste in contemporary literature has roughly the same batting average as a pitcher in the National League."
"The author is a pompous windbag."
"Recommends it for: No one. Recommended to me by: A friend who apparently wished to cause me great suffering."
"Makes me wonder: is it possible to obtain similes at a volume discount?"
"The repeated phrases made me want to mail a thesaurus to the author."
"I'm disappointed in myself for finishing this book."
"if the author described [character's] eyes as "obsidian" one more time I was tempted to write her and ask if her thesaurus broke."
"They say that an infinite number of monkeys with an infinite number of typewriters would, if given infinite time, eventually produce the complete works of William Shakespeare. [This book], on the other hand, would probably take the average monkey just under two hours."
"I can't imagine what the author had to do to get this nadir of Western literature printed on innocent trees, but he does seem to know a LOT about being well-connected in New York."
"This book is so bad it is almost worth reading just to make you appreciate the other books you are reading."
"Reads like it was written by a brilliant author, the night before it was due."
"raises interesting questions, like: can a book be so bad as to constitute an act of terrorism"
"has this author ever spoken to a human woman"
"This acorn has fallen so far from the tree that it can’t even see the forest."
"I’m guessing they are touted as ‘beach reads’ because no one will care if they get dropped into the ocean."
"This book begins with all the energy of a hand vacuum near the end of its battery life, and the pace doesn't quicken much from there."
"At least everybody’s eyes stayed the same color this time around.”
Part 2
Part 3
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Asche and Vindt from Ocean's Blood by Thelma Mantey
#this book comes out january 29th. i finished reading the ARC this morning and well. here i am several hours later#starting the promo early because this shit hit all my dark fantasy m/m needs and i need more people to read this as soon as its available#you can find my review in the linked goodreads page if you want to know more. but for now i leave you with this <3#ocean's blood#asche#vindt#book fanart#lgbt books#fanart#digital#original art
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how many books do I want to read? all of them. there is no limit. my frail body will one day be crushed under the weight of my tbr pile and my mind will rejoice at all the lives I have lived, at all the new words that I have learnt and yet there will still be more books that I wish to read. i am simply a gaping chasm that only books can fill.
#bookish#bookworm#bookreader#books & libraries#bibliophile#bookshelf#bookblr#bookaddict#reading#book review#pretentious#donna tartt#henry winter#ramblings#books and reading#books#booklr#booksbooksbooks#i want to read more books but alas exams#goodreads#the secret history#tsh
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Studying hard and trying not to get angry at the book I am reading. Recently, my favorite way to blow off steam has been writing a grumpy review on Goodreads📖😤 If you want you can follow me here: goodreads
#italian studyblr#studyblr#notes#study#studying#books#coffee#goodreads#book club#booklr#book recommendations#book review#books and reading#bookworm#study hard#study session#study time#study blog#study aesthetic#study motivation#studyspo#study space#study study study#academia#light academia#light acadamia aesthetic#chaotic academia#academic#university life#uni life
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Horror books that genuinely scared me (from a lifelong horror reader that’s so so rare):
1) The Outsider by Stephen King - made me paranoid as fuck at night, had to hide the dust jacket
2) Straight by @drchucktingle - I had fucked up nightmares about this book, I couldn’t look my cis straight roommates in the eyes for days
3) Everything the Darkness Eats by Eric LaRocca - I’m a queer with religious trauma, I had a full existential crisis after reading this
Did these books affect me psychologically? Yeah probably. Are they also in my top fav of all time? Yup😊. Would I recommend them to everyone? Fuck yeah I would! Go read these and prove love is real (that is a threat💕)!
#notice how all of the books feature prominent neurodivergent and/or queer characters#I’m sure it’s a coincidence#it says nothing about me#buckaroo lifestyle#love is real#proud buckaroo#stephen king#chuck tingle#eric larocca#bookblr#book blog#reading#bookish#booktok#books and reading#books#goodreads#book club#book review#horror#horror books#queer horror#tingleverse#book reccs#queer book recs#book recommendations
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EMILY PRENTISS’ GOODREADS:
THE HOLY BIBLE
multiple authors
★☆☆☆☆ 0.1
Overly-preachy narrative, too many plot holes. Profiled God as a malignant narcissist with an inferiority complex. Can’t blame Satan for lashing out at has dad like that, rebellion is typical of scapegoated children in a toxic family dynamic.
THE CATCHER IN THE RYE
J.D. Salinger
★★★★★ 5.0
Didn’t read it, five stars anyway because its reputation precedes it.
HOW TO FIND AT-RISK KIDS WHO GREW UP IN A 360-DEGREE ENVIRONMENT OF FAMILY VIOLENCE
David Rossi, Jason Gideon
★★☆☆☆ 2.0
Literally ruining my life. But two stars because I was high when I read it and it made my brain feel fuzzy in a good way.
THE LORD OF THE FLIES
William Golding
★★★☆☆ 0.3
Strong concept, disappointing lack of women.
SLAUGHTERHOUSE-FIVE
Kurt Vonnegut
★★★★★ 5.0
It’s so freaky-deaky, I love it.
Check out my Masterlist for more BAU scenarios
#ironically the only one of these I’ve read start to finish is the holy bible. I also rated it 1 star.#you haven’t read it have you?#I have not.#bau book review b*tches#profiled god as a malignant narcissist#headcanon#goodreads#emily prentiss#criminal minds#criminal minds memes#incorrect criminal minds#jemily#jennifer jareau#criminal minds evolution
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#new books#book review#book#book quotes#books#booklr#books & libraries#bookblr#books and reading#reading#goodreads#bookstagram#currently reading#library#oku#kitap okumak#sahaf#kütüphane
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My special edition of The Lies of Locke Lamora has finally arrived!
#is it about time for a reread???#the lies of locke lamora#tloll#booklr#books#bookstagram#goodreads#bookish#book#goodreads challenge#book reviews#bookblr#book review#book rec#book recs#favorite reads#the Gentleman Bastard sequence
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man... if y'all haven't noticed... ive been reading a fuck ton of books recently. specifically ones similar to the style that i write/similar to fanfic. wlw romances, straight romances, some books with smut, they're all kinda the same but have their own flair, ya know?
and in this time I've also taken to reading reviews on goodreads as i finish said books. Just to get a feel of what people liked and what they didn't like, etc.
There are SO many reviews about smut in these books all "it was so raunchy. too descriptive. too explicit. almost vulgar." here's one word for word...
I just hated the sex scenes, found them laughable. I’m not opposed to a good sex scene but the words pussy, tits and cock are not sexy.
pussy, tits and cock are *not* sexy?? WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO USE THEN?
like, they've got me sitting here looking at these barely spicy smut scenes compared to the shit i read here and the smut in my stories all....
anyways. that's my two cents for right now.
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low-star goodreads reviews of Harrow the Ninth are so funny. some people genuinely only read the book once and it shows
#sorry you guys can’t handle books written in unconventional ways#sorry you guys don’t have hours of every day dedicated to being insane about harrow the ninth#sorry the line ‘my bones will rest easy next to your bones’ doesn’t bounce around in your head like a screensaver#i should stop here bc i don’t have enough time to list off everything i love about that book#some people can’t have fun ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#what do you think the goodreads reviewers would do to me if i told them harrow the ninth was my favorite tlt book#vin speaks#the locked tomb#tlt#tamsyn muir#harrow the ninth#htn#gideon the ninth#nona the ninth
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The Great Goodreads Diss List (Part 2)
[part 1]
[part 3]
"I've read a few books where the authors should have quit while they were ahead. Occasionally that spot is after they've written down the title."
"As boring as watching my grandma knit"
"if I hear the word 'countless' used to describe what we were repeatedly told were exactly one million ships ever again, I think I'll find something to throw myself off."
"The only crime in this novel worth investigating is the one the author has committed against the English language."
"The breasts of every woman that appeared in this book were described."
"The best thing I can say about this book is that it's diverting. The worst thing I can say is not printable."
"This book could have been an email."
"Someone take the damned thesaurus away from [author]."
"This book is so bad that I literally joined Goodreads just so I could vent about it."
"Why does everybody keep falling for him? He has the emotional range of a potholder."
"as if a spavined mule was trying to do the tango to the music of Iron Maiden."
"too much wrapping and not enough content."
"Can I get a horror comic with real monsters and not a metaphorical one please."
"OH MY GOD WHEN WILL SOMEONE GET MURDERED ALREADY?"
"I did not read this I’m just a hater."
"Sometimes, if it takes you 10 years to write a book, you just shouldn't."
"I'd recommend vcr manuals over this."
"She actually wrote 'molten gaze'! Ack!"
"Those poor, tortured metaphors."
"This book only gets a star because the fact that I like words coincides with the fact that it contained words."
"I will proceed to chronicle my transition from literature enthusiast to broken shell of a woman"
"A shortbread tin Brigadoon piece of nonsense"
"It pains me to write this review, almost as much as it pained me to finish this book."
"'Empurpled' is a word that should never be used to describe genitalia. It should, however, be used to describe your prose."
"Well I mean, at least I'll have a new joke to tell my therapist this week."
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13 Moons Reading Challenge 2024 — Announcement
So it’s finally time for the announcement of the 13 Moons reading challenge for 2024. Another year, another list of prompts that will make your reading journey exciting. This reading challenge is created by me for the entire reading community. So if you love reading or are looking for a reading challenge to try for the upcoming year, then here is one for you.
Rules & Levels
The rules for this reading challenge are simple. First of all, this is just for fun so no need to feel pressured into doing anything or reading anything you don’t want to. You can also be flexible with the prompts if you choose to do so. The challenge will run from January 1st, 2024 and till December 31st, 2024.
There are a total of 104 reading prompts divided into 13 categories. There is a list of levels given and you can choose which level you wish to participate in based on your preference. The levels you can participate in are as follows:
Penumbral Lunar Eclipse: 13 books — fulfill one prompt from each category
Partial Lunar Eclipse: 26 books — fulfill at least one prompt from each category
Central Lunar Eclipse: 52 books — fulfill at least one prompt from each category
Total Lunar Eclipse: 104 books — fulfill all the prompts
The reading challenge is given below. I am trying to create a graphic for it, and if I succeed I’ll edit this post and attach the graphic later, but for now I will write it all down here in case you wish to participate and plan your TBR. So without further ado, here is the 13 Moons reading challenge 2024.
13 Moons Reading Challenge 2024
Wolf Moon
A Stand Alone novel
A furry creature on the cover
Hair on the cover
The words Straight, Waves or Curly in the title
Hair color in the title
A book about found family
A book about adoption
A book with a hierarchy
Snow Moon
The word White in the title
Blanket on the cover
Read a book while drinking a hot beverage
Read a book while burning a candle
Hat/Cap on the cover
A book about mountains
A book about a fresh start or a new beginning
A book with necromancy themes
Worm Moon
Read a book in a series with more than 5 books
A book about rebirth or reincarnation
A cozy book
Book about insects
Continue a series
A book that gives you the creeps
A book you’re not sure about
A book you’re thinking of unhauling
Pink Moon
A book with a princess
Book about women empowerment
A pink object on the cover
Book recommended by a celebrity
Book that tickles you pink
A coming of age book
A celebrity memoir
Start a book on a new moon
Flower Moon
Book by a BIPOC author
Book about friendship
A book club pick
Book with an animated cover
Book with a character named after a flower
A speculative fiction
A book set in spring
Read a book at any time of the day
Strawberry Moon
Read a book from your backlist
Read a book with Bubbles on the cover
A book with less than 400 pages
Book you see trending on social media
Read a book from an author which is new to you
A debut novel
Book with the word Leaf in the title
Book about swimming
Buck Moon
A book that has multiple editions
A Paperback
A book recommended by a friend
A biography
A book you’re seeing everywhere
A 2024 release
A 5 star prediction
Book with a Man on the cover
Sturgeon Moon
Book with a map
Book that people have been forcing you to read
Book with a title that starts with the first letter of your name
Book you hauled recently
Book with a Tree on the cover
Book with the word Can’t in the title
Book with a dark cover
A novella
Harvest Moon
An anthology
A book you had to read for an assignment
A book with a movie adaptation
Book you’d recommend to somebody else
A book chosen by somebody else
Book with a Fish on the cover
A fruit in the title
Book about a celebration
Hunter’s Moon
Book about food
Book set in Europe
Book with an Umbrella on the cover
Book about a topic you’re curious about
An award winning book
Read the 7th book on your shelf
Book with Buildings on the cover
book divided into parts
Beaver Moon
Book about a psychological phenomenon
Book with the word Five in the title
Book with a Street on the cover
Start a book in the evening
A book about a specific country
A book from your monthly TBR
Book with a cover you don’t like
Book about a single parent
Cold Moon
Book set in the medieval times
Book with a Spider on the cover
Read a book while wearing a pair of socks
A memoir
Book about a historical event
Book with a character’s name in the title
Book you think you will love
Book from a Goodreads shelf
Blue Moon
Book with a unique format
Read a classic
Book with 3 or more people on the cover
Book recommended by your favorite social media influencer
Book with a dramatic title
Book with a Dagger in the story
Book set in high school
Book about a spy
And there you have it. This is the 13 Moons reading challenge 2024 for you all. Let me know if you like it. If you wish to participate I’d love it if you can comment below to tell me you’re participating in the challenge. If you don’t want to comment, that’s fine as well. As long as you enjoy doing the challenge, I’m happy.
Happy Reading!!
#read n buried#booklr#books and reading#reading#books#book#books & libraries#currently reading#book blog#book community#Reading Challenge#13 Moons Reading Challenge#13 Moons Reading Challenge 2024#Reading Challenge 2024#readers#long reads#goodreads#book review#book tumblr#book tube#Reading Challenge Announcement
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the validation i get from seeing my goodreads tracker say "you're 2 books ahead" is rivaled only by the endorphin rush i get from actually reading
#bookish#bookworm#bookreader#books & libraries#bibliophile#bookshelf#bookblr#bookaddict#reading#book review#goodreads#book challenge#book tracker#blackbird and butcher#a good girls guide to murder#icebreaker
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Who else got their mind consumed by god-killing homosexual war criminals this year?
#the spear cuts through water#literature#books#simon jimenez#fantasy#sci fi#posting this here so i can use it in my goodreads review#but im genuinely surprised there is not a huge tumblr cult for this book#this has been an audrey post
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small(er) poets you love? poets that deserve more love?
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