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sarkywoman · 3 years ago

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Writing Asks

Tagged by @under-the-shady-tree, thanks!

20 questions, writer’s edition, let’s go!!

How many works do you have on AO3? 85

What’s your total AO3 word count? 712708

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? Oof, uh... since like, 1999? Um, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Andromeda, Supernatural, Heroes, NCIS, DC, Marvel, The Umbrella Academy, Kingsmen, ASoIaF/Game of Thrones, Borderlands, Community, Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency, Doctor Who/Torchwood, Final Fantasy, Harry Potter, Misfits, I think I’ve forgotten some...

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Noble Blood (Game of Thrones, ASoIaF - GRRM) A Song of Bastards and Wards (ASoIaF - GRRM, Game of Thrones) Young God (Borderlands) Story and Sorcery (Loki: Agent of Asgard, Marvel) My Shame is True (The Umbrella Academy (TV))

Do you respond to comments, why or why not? I try to! Comments are so important in the fanfic community and I know how hard it is to think of something to say about a story, even when you’ve loved it to bits, so I don’t want people to feel ignored. Especially because I appreciate comments so, so much! I will say though, I have lapses, often when my mental health isn’t good, where I simply don’t know how to respond to people and then months go by and I feel weird about replying... so sorry if you’ve ever commented on one of my stories and got silence - it was me not you!

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? The Aimless One (Misfits (TV 2009)) Straight up the saddest story I’ve written, no question. Normally writing sad stuff doesn’t make me sad but I had to take a break in the middle of this to just try and grapple with the idea I’d had because it tapped into a lot of depressing thoughts I have about life and death in general. The comments were all complimentary but so upset that at first I was like ‘hooray, it had the desired impact’, then after a while I started to think ‘why did I want to hurt people like this?’

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? Probably Realising All You Ever Wanted, a Hobbs/Dirk fic for the Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency fandom. There’s such minor conflict in that one that the sugary sweet ending isn’t out of place.

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written? Well. I have some fandoms that are sort of crossovers already, things like Marvel where you have comic versions and movie versions and it doesn’t really feel like a crossover to be picking and choosing. Same with a Dirk Gently/Thor fic I did, because Thor cameos in the DG canon, but not this Thor. I think the most ambitious crossover I’ve worked on was a collaborative chatfic with @freshgratednutmeg that we’re never likely to post, where the need for more background characters in an Umbrella Academy A/o fic led to it being crossed over with Marvel and Brooklyn 99. (Leading to such amusements as Diego sparring with Rosa, and Five competing with Shuri in class.)

Have you ever received hate on a fic? Yeah, but it’s never been very well-reasoned so it’s been fairly easy to dismiss. Some people expect everyone to share their own perspective of the characters and it’s weird.

Do you write smut? If so what kind? Not really. I can go there and have done on occasion, but it doesn’t interest me very much. I think I did it more when I was younger because I felt like it was a necessary aspect of grown-up fanfic writing (when I started I was a teenager amongst mostly adults... or other people lying about their age too lol). These days I’m more likely to fade to black or allude to the acts. But I’m not averse to writing it or anything, but it’s never the focus of my story.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Only in the sense that I see them on other sites I didn’t upload to, sometimes in other languages, sometimes not. They normally say my name somewhere on them so they’re not stolen as such, but it’s still uncomfortable to see my work circulated to other sites without my permission.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Not with my permission, but yeah. I don’t know how to feel about translations. Obviously I want people of other languages to be able to read my work, but at the same time I’m not fluent enough to be able to check the translator’s work, so I won’t know if they’ve done any better than google. Word choice is pretty important in fiction. A bad translation can totally warp a text.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Not for posting or sharing, but me and @freshgratednutmeg cowrite all the time.

What’s your all time favorite ship? All time?! That’s impossible to answer. I’m a multi-shipper for starters, in pretty much every fandom I’ve been in. When I find a ship I love, I love it intensely above all others for the duration of the fixation. Then eventually it gets set aside when I find a new fandom. I’m also indecisive enough to not really have an all-time favourite anything.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? A Song of Bastards and Wards (ASoIaF - GRRM, Game of Thrones). I can’t begin to describe the pages of notes I have for this beast. Unless I threw them out, which... scanning my room... is a distinct possibility. Ouch. I’d hoped to parallel the books for a long time with this one, but the amount of work for a project like that is too much when you’re no longer as passionate about the source fandom. I suspect what I might do is scenes with interconnecting notes, just so people get some sense of closure.

What are your writing strengths? Dialogue, baybee! Kinda makes me want to be a scriptwriter. People are always telling me that the characters ‘sound like’ them. I think it’s from reading voraciously from when I was young and being quite a social child, that moving speech patterns and quirks into writing is something that comes very naturally to me. Too natural, in fact, because IRL I write how I speak and that’s not always suited to the situation.

What are your writing weaknesses? Most things other than dialogue. Even thought processes are an internal dialogue, so they’re okay, but then like... a fight scene? A sex scene? Just even... what are their hands doing while they’re talking? How are these people physically present? Where are they? Are they inside, outside, is the building on fire? My descriptive skills are lacking, to say the least. It’s something I’m working on.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? I’m not quite sure what’s meant by this. I’m not fluent in anything other than English so I don’t see that would work well for me. I know a few phrases in German/French/Welsh/Latin/Spanish but nothing useful for conversation. Dropping in words can work, if it’s the same way the speaker would use them amidst their English. Most of the time the characters I’m writing wouldn’t be speaking in another language anyway. We can blame the tag-team of English colonialism and American media for that one I think. I think that sometimes authors utilise a character’s language in a way that just exposes how little the author actually knows of the language and that’s a bit cringe for me.

What was the first fandom you wrote for? Buffy the Vampire Slayer. None of those are online atm because they’re so so bad XD I should post them just so people can see improvement but... I can’t even read them, they’re hilarious. The most gratuitous self-inserts, the most ludicrous arguments, the most out-of-character romantic declarations.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? Hmm, that’s a quandary. I think I’ll differentiate between favourite to write, and favourite end product. Favourite to write was probably Noble Blood (Game of Thrones, ASoIaF - GRRM) because it was just a romp through my favourite themes. Given it’s one of my most popular stories, I’d say that just proves you should write what you want! I was going to quickly say Young God (Borderlands) is my favourite fic for quality of the finished product, because I pretty much just sat down one evening and spilled it into a word doc then reread it back and thought ‘huh, did I write that? Awesome’. But I’m happy with a couple of more recent things I’ve done for The Umbrella Academy fandom, notably The Price of Parenthood, which is very different to what I usually write and is a look at the life of one of the mothers who gave up her child to Reginald. Also The Water Calls, which was the only thing I managed to write for the recent MerMay event. It took me a little while to puzzle out how it all fit together, then once I had it worked out it came together wonderfully and I was very happy with the tone of it.

Tagging anyone who fancies doing it.

#long post #this was fun #like being interviewed lol

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tripleaxeldiaz · 4 years ago

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all was golden when the day met the night

chapter 3/5

read on ao3

start from the beginning

“...and then we saw the lions, but they were sleeping so they weren’t very scary. And the otters were so cute, and they came right up to the glass when they were swimming underwater!”

Eddie smiles as Chris recounts their day at the zoo to his parents over FaceTime. The monthly calls had been their idea, a way for them to stay up to date on Chris’s life in between holidays and summer visits. It was also their way of having a scheduled time to nitpick Eddie’s life from 800 miles away.

He loves his parents, he does. He just loves them more when they aren’t speaking.

“Your face looks a little red, sweetheart, were you wearing sunscreen today?” his mother asks, face getting too close to the camera as she inspects her grandson.

“Yeah, Dad put some on me when we got there.”

“Did he put on any more during the day?” Her eyes shifted to Eddie, perched next to Chris on the couch. “You know you need to reapply every two—”

“Yes, Mom, I did. And it’s getting late so we should really get going, say goodbye buddy—”

“Wait! I didn’t show them my snakes!” Chris rifles through his backpack underneath the coffee table, yanking out a folder and flipping through it until he finds the drawings he and Buck worked on. He holds them up triumphantly, angling them so his grandparents could see. “Buck helped me with them!”

“And Buck is…”

“Dad, you know who Buck is. My friend that owns the tattoo shop?” He tries not to ignore how calling Buck his “friend” feels like a disservice to all that he really is, how it tastes like sand in his mouth.

“He’s an awesome artist,” Chris pipes in. “He has huge books in the shop of all the stuff he can do, and sometimes he lets me watch when he’s working!”

His parents blanche at that, and Eddie is really not prepared to have this argument right now. He and Chris had a great day together, a rare day when he wasn’t in the shop for any reason, leaving it in Hen’s more than capable hands. They had a lot of fun at the zoo, were getting ready for a Marvel double feature in their living room, and Eddie was in an honest-to-god good mood, for once not plagued by lingering stress or ambiguous sadness. He’s not about to let any outside judgements ruin that.

“I think it’s time to go. Chris, can you say goodnight and go get your pajamas on?” Chris waves as he grabs his crutches and heads to his room. Eddie turns back to say a quick goodbye, but his dad clears his throat before he can speak.

“You leave your son alone in a tattoo parlor?”

“He’s not alone, Dad, he’s with Buck and all the other adults that work there. Plus it’s only in a pinch.”

“Eddie, do you really think those are the kind of people you should be leaving Christopher with?” his mother asks, a look of contempt masked by concern on her face.

Eddie takes a slow breath in and out through his nose. No use in giving them more ammo by getting angry. “Just because you don’t like their business doesn’t mean they’re bad people.”

“We just want to make sure Christopher is—”

“He’s fine. He’s happy when he’s learning to draw with Buck. I’m not going to take that away from him just because you don’t like it. Now we have to go, we’ll talk to you later.” He hits the red end button before they can protest any further. He tips his head back to rest on the couch and scrubs a hand over his face, his good mood now tinged with prickly frustration.

He thinks his parents mean well, but they’ve always been forceful when it comes to Chris, especially after Shannon left. It’s like they knew, somehow, how lost Eddie was on his own, how scared he was that every little thing he did was setting Chris up for failure, and took every opportunity to fix something he was doing or tell him he was wrong. That he didn’t actually know what Chris needed since he had been gone for so long.

Eventually, Eddie started believing them.

But when Mrs. Negrelli gave him the money to start his own shop, he didn’t just see it as a fresh start for himself, but for Chris too. Eddie would be able to take them anywhere, away from the looming disappointment of his parents, and give himself the opportunity to figure out how to best be the dad that Chris needed. And if the past year is any indication, he knows he made the right choice, a credit he isn’t usually able to give himself. He’s not perfect, still second guesses himself constantly, but Chris gets invited to birthday parties and sleepovers and gets As on his report card, so something must be working.

Chris comes back from his room, Spider-Man pajamas on, handing Eddie the remote to queue up the first movie. He’s happily chattering about all the cool things Spider-Man’s costume does in the movie, and as he settles into Eddies’s side, head resting on his chest, Eddie feels the prickliness subside, replaced by the contentment he only ever feels around his son.

They’re good here. Chris is happy here. That’s all that matters to Eddie.

~~~~~~~~~~

Sundays are Eddie’s favorite days in the shop — traffic is usually slow, so he has time to plan out orders for the rest of the week and make sure their inventory is in check. It’s a little monotonous, but it eats up about four hours of time and gives him a break from any real thinking, so he feels almost relaxed by the time he’s done stocking cases. He has the added bonus of Chris and Buck’s conversation in the back room as background noise, interspersed with the occasional yell and slap of the table and Buck teaches him a new card game. The melody of Chris’s laugh and the harmony of their voices soothes him even more than usual, quiets some of the lingering annoyance from his call with his parents.

As he heads into the back room to grab the last boxes of peonies, Chris beckons him over to the table where he and Buck have been stationed since breakfast. It’s become a bit of a tradition: Buck brings muffins or bagels from Bobby and Athena’s bakery on Sundays and hangs out until the afternoons when his earliest appointments are scheduled (I refuse to tattoo anyone while they’re hungover from Saturday, Eddie. It’s not good for them and the extra complaining is certainly not good for me.).

Maybe that’s another reason Sundays are his favorite days. Add that to the list of secret feelings involving Buck that are following him to the grave.

“Dad! Look, I colored Buck’s skull purple!” Chris says as Eddie comes behind his chair, bracketing him in with his arms on the table. Chris giggles as Eddie kisses the top of his head, leaning over him for a closer look. Buck’s latest tattoo is indeed a bright shade of purple, the roses surrounding it colored in blue.

“I told him I like cooler colors and he ran with it,” Buck says. Eddie’s eyes shift to Buck’s face, and he feels his heart stutter when he sees the soft, fond smile directed at Chris. It stutters again when Buck’s eyes meet his, that familiar warmth settling over him as Buck’s smile gets bigger, and he feels good enough, relaxed enough, that it actually soaks into his skin. Buck’s gaze flits down to Eddie’s arm where it’s still bracketing Chris, a crease appearing right between his eyebrows. The urge to lean over and kiss it away is unbelievably sudden and strong, and Eddie silently congratulates himself for keeping it together.

“Your ink looks a little faded there, Eds. I can fix it up for you, if you want.”

Eddie looks at the script on his arm, twisting it back and forth to see the whole thing. Buck’s right, the ink does look duller. Makes sense for a tattoo he got on his 18th birthday that he definitely didn’t take care of properly.

Fortalecer la mente y superar el cuerpo. Strengthen the mind and overcome the body. When he was young and invincible, that seemed like all he needed. A clear head, clear purpose, clear desires, and he’d be able to do anything he wanted. If he followed the rules and did everything right, he’d get a happy ending.

But, once again, it hadn’t been enough. And now, looking at that tattoo just reminds him of the ways he’s failed. How he hasn’t been able to make his mind into anything resembling strong, how there are days when he’s so weak even basic functions take too much effort. How a happy ending is feels so far away he can’t remember what one even looks like.

He shrugs, hand rubbing the tattoo unconsciously. “Maybe, I kinda just want to let this one fade out though. Maybe get a different one somewhere else.”

“Well, my offer of a free tattoo still stands, just name the day.” Buck says.

Chris gasps and twists around in his seat, eyes bright with excitement. “Can I help you pick it out? Can I draw it? I’m good at lots of stuff now, and Buck can help!”

And he’s not sure what it is — the smile on Chris’s face at the idea, Buck’s matching one, the lingering frustration with his parents transforming into rebellion (something he hasn’t felt since he last got a tattoo), or a combination of the three. But before he can think too hard about it, he hears himself saying:

“You know what? Why not. I’ll get another tattoo, and you guys can design it.”

They cheer and high five each other, Chris hugging Eddie tight around the middle.

“But,” Eddie says, “I do want final approval. And no cartoon characters.”

“I promise, Dad, it’ll be the best tattoo ever!” Chris grabs his nearby notebook and starts doodling, chattering happily about what he thinks will look good. Buck catches his eye again and winks, and Eddie’s returning smile is the easiest it’s ever been.

He grabs the boxes he came back for and goes to the front, still smiling as he hears Buck and Chris very seriously discuss the details of what Eddie should get. He’s not nervous, really, but he does say a silent prayer to whoever is listening that they don’t pick something too big or too bold. He loves them both, but not that much.

~~~~~~~~~~

They take about a week to design it and are so secretive they might as well be planning a jewel heist. It seems like every time Eddie walks into a room, they’re there with their heads pressed together, whispering over sheets of paper and pens. When Eddie tries to sneak a peek, they quickly hide everything away so he can’t see. Buck throws his whole body on the table at one point just to cover up the sketches.

Again, he’s not nervous. But the anticipation does start to get to him.

Finally, after a busy Saturday full of wedding deliveries, they announce that the design is complete, and Eddie is scheduled at Armageddon the following Friday evening. Chris already has a sleepover with Denny that night and won’t be able to come, but he makes Eddie double pinky promise to send pictures to Hen as soon as it’s done.

It’s Friday now, and Eddie is all set up at Buck’s station in the back of the shop, waiting to see the final product of Buck and Chris’s hard work. He is a little nervous now, but he mostly blames that on Buck, who keeps looking over the sketchpad, pen in hand like he wants to make last minute changes, or like something isn’t quite right.

“Just show me, Buck,” Eddie says after a few minutes of watching Buck bite his lip in worry. Whatever the design is, he’s sure he’ll love it, if for no other reason than because of the two people who made it.

“Okay, okay. You can be honest if you don’t like it, but I think you’re gonna like it.”

He flips the paper over, turning it towards Eddie. It’s a crescent of flowers, an unfinished wreath, featuring moonflowers, Eddie’s favorite, with their starburst centers spiraling open, and ox-eye daisies, which he knows Chris loves. Sprigs of lavender and thyme fill in the gaps, and there’s a small bee floating around the center. It’s beautiful and a little chaotic, but it’s perfect. Reminders of his son and peace and courage that he’ll be able to carry with him always, that he’ll be able to look at when he forgets that he is capable of bravery or deserving of peace. He stares at the sketch, taking in every detail, for who knows how long. Buck clears his throat to get his attention.

“Chris thought the daisies and moonflowers would look good together, and they’re both white so no need for color. I thought the herbs would be nicer than just plain leaves. And he wanted it in a ‘C’ shape, you know, for Christopher.”

Eddie laughs and shakes his head. “And the bee?”

“Chris thought that would be cute, too, but you can nix that if you want.” There’s a faint blush dusting Buck’s cheeks as his eyes track down to the bee in question. “So, what do you think? Any major changes? You can tell me if you hate it, I won’t tell Chris.”

He looks up and Buck’s eyes are excited and worried all at once. Eddie would do anything to take the worry away, but at least this time it’s an easy fix.

“I don’t hate it, it’s perfect,” he says, handing the sketch back to Buck and settling back in the chair. “Let’s do this.”

Buck smiles brightly as he grabs an antiseptic wipe, holding Eddie’s right arm steady as he wipes down the area just below his elbow crease where the tattoo will go. Eddie knew he wanted it there as soon as he’d agreed to get one — he’d be able to see it easily when he needed to, and he liked that it matched the placement of his current one, would almost be replacing it if the words ever fully faded away. Once it’s cleaned, Buck puts a temporary transfer of the design there to trace over, starts up the tattoo machine, and loads the ink. The low buzzing of the machine mixes with the music playing and soft conversation coming from other clients in the shop, washing over Eddie like white noise.

Buck takes his arm again, machine in hand, and locks his eyes on Eddie. “Ready?”

“Ready.”

“You can yell if it hurts too bad, just try not to pass out.”

Eddie rolls his eyes, says “It’ll be—” before cutting off with an involuntary hiss as the needle touches his skin. Buck snorts, and Eddie does his best to glare but feels it fall short.

He hadn’t worried about the pain — he vaguely remembered the sensation of being stabbed over and over again and didn’t remember it hurting that bad. He had also been shot before, so he figured he’d be able to handle it.

What he hadn’t taken into account was that for the next two hours or so, he and Buck would be very close together, close enough that Eddie can feel Buck’s breath on his arm as he traces over the outline, feels his strong hand on his wrist as he keeps Eddie from twitching. He had never been this close to Buck, had never allowed himself to be, and now that he is, he’s not sure how to act. He tries to look anywhere else, takes in the art on the wall, watches the other clients with Maddie and Chimney. He tries to make a to-do list for the weekend in his head, go over the things Chris will need for school next week, mentally figure out the designs for next week’s orders.

It’s all in vain, though, because no matter what, his eyes always drift back to Buck. From here, he can take in everything, and for once, he lets himself, because who knows when he’ll have this opportunity again.

Buck’s brow is furrowed in concentration, blue eyes dark as they focus. He can almost count every eyelash, and his birthmark stands out even more than usual, almost glowing under the fluorescent lights. Eddie itches to reach out and touch it, feel how soft he imagines Buck’s skin to be under his fingertips. His cheekbones and jawline are sharp and beautiful, and Eddie wonders again how anyone could resist them. How someone could look at this man, have even one conversation with him, and decide they didn’t want more. He’s biting his lip as he finishes the first moonflower, and it turns and even darker pink as he releases it. Eddie gets a little lost imagining how those lips would feel on his, how gentle and warm and good. He imagines feeling them on his shoulder as they wake up on a Saturday morning, sees them laughing as they both make breakfast, trading kisses as they go. He wants to taste them, feel them moving down his neck, down his chest, wrapping around his—

He inhales quickly and shakes his head, because this is not the time nor the place to go down that particular road. Thankfully, Buck’s still in his own little world, eyes never leaving Eddie’s arm. He must mistake Eddie’s movement for discomfort, because he moves his free hand down from his wrist until they’re holding hands, Buck’s thumb moving slowly back and forth in comfort.

“You can squeeze if it hurts too bad,” he mutters, still not looking up. Thank god too, because Eddie can feel his face go bright red and his heart start working overtime.

The first pass takes about an hour, and they take a break so Eddie can stretch his legs and Buck can get more ink. There’s still some detailing left to do, but Eddie already can’t stop staring at the tattoo. It looks even better than the sketch, and having a tribute to his son literally branded on his skin fills a fiercely paternal part of him like nothing else ever has. There’s also a smug part that’s still 17 years old and can’t wait to see the looks on his parents’ faces when they have their next video call.

Buck finishes getting set up again and Eddie settles back in the chair. It’s quieter now — they’re the only two on the floor, Maddie and Chimney having finished up and moved to the back room, and the music playing over the speakers is something slower, stripped down, seems to filter into the room and soften all the hard edges of the world. Buck catches his eye from where he’s sitting, asking silent permission to start. Eddie nods, and he feels his heart swell when Buck automatically grabs his hand again.

He’s got maybe 45 more minutes in this proximity to Buck, and he takes full advantage: notes the way his curls are starting to fall loose after a long day, tries to catalogue each shift of his face, every twitch of concentration, the shadow of his stubble growing in. Getting to study him like this — memorize the details of the beautiful face that houses an even more beautiful soul — makes all the feelings Eddie’s been trying to fight for months now bubble to the surface, fizzing inside of him like pop bubbles.

But there’s a chill that settles in as well, because despite his heart desperately pulling him towards this man, he reminds himself once again that he can’t have this. He can’t let himself have this, can’t do that to Buck. He’s supposed to be forgetting about his feelings, releasing them so they can both be happy — Buck with someone who deserves him and Eddie...alone. With Chris, but still. Alone. And now he has to wrestle with that while a slide show of Buck’s every facial feature plays through his head on a likely infinite loop.

He can’t forget as easily as he thought. If he’s honest, there’s a small, hopeful part of himself that doesn’t want to forget, that never wanted to forget, and it’s getting louder and harder to ignore with each passing minute.

“Done!” Buck says as he turns off the machine and wipes away the last of the excess ink. Eddie looks at the finished product, a soft smile settling on his lips. He looks up and sees Buck watching him, looking hopeful. “What do you think?”

Eddie’s finger hovers over a daisy reverently. “It’s beautiful,” he whispers, smile spreading as he meets Buck’s eye again. “Thank you, Buck.”

Buck returns the smile, squeezing Eddie’s hand where they’re still clasped together, neither of them moving to let go. They’re still in each other’s bubble, close enough that Eddie can still count Buck’s eyelashes, and he watches Buck watch him for a moment. His eyes roam his face like he too is cataloging Eddie from here, and that hopeful voice is convincing him that from where they’re sitting, it’d be so easy to lean in and confirm exactly what Buck tastes like, how his lips would feel under his own. Just six inches away from allowing himself to be happy, because he can’t imagine being anything else with Buck.

His phone goes off from his pocket, immediately bursting the bubble, both of them flinching as the loud trill fills the shop. They both know it’s Chris, but he still looks at Buck apologetically, like it’s his fault for shattering whatever atmosphere they’d just been living in. Buck just waves toward the phone, squeezing his hand one more time before letting go to clean up his station. He talks to Chris for a bit, showing him the tattoo from every angle, and Chris talks to Buck as well, gushing about what a great job Buck did. Buck blushes at the praise, and that tug of want pulls at Eddie again.

They hang up and Eddie gathers his things while listening to Buck’s strict aftercare instructions, both heading to the front door so Buck can lock up.

“Are you sure I can’t pay you?” Eddie asks.

“I told you it was on the house and I meant that. Plus it’s nice to work on someone I actually care about.”

Eddie feels his face get warm, hopes the neon lights in the window are bright enough to cover it up. It gets warmer as they continue looking at each other, neither willing to break their little bubble again. He thinks he sees Buck move more toward him, like he wants to get closer, but he stops himself before following through, leaning back on his heels instead, looking sheepish.

“Goodnight, Eddie. I’ll see you guys tomorrow, yeah?”

“Yeah, we’ll see you tomorrow.”

Eddie waves as he leaves, stepping into the cool night to walk back to the apartment. He keeps glancing down at his arm on the walk and while he’s getting ready for bed, thinking of the care Chris and Buck both put into creating it. That small voice in his head keeps nagging him, saying Buck wouldn’t do something like this, something this personal, for just anyone. He complains about his clients enough for Eddie to know that’s true.

Maybe the voice is on to something. As he falls asleep, Eddie lets himself think that maybe, maybe, on top of everything, on top of two years of friendship and flowers and looks that make Eddie’s insides flutter, maybe these feelings he’s been trying to ignore aren’t as one sided as he thought.

Maybe he has a chance.

#eddie diaz #evan buckley #buddie #9-1-1 #9-1-1 fox #buddie fic #9-1-1 fic #YES this is the longest chapter because i can't stfu about buck #WHATEVER

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luvuwite · 4 years ago

Note

all, go

i hate you

1. What was the last present you gave?

uMMMM probably a commission i gave to pancake (archie/vivi)

2. What was the last present you received?

i dunno? if its a doodle then i got that a week back!

3. What animal best represents your personality?

from the oOoOO spirit animal tests i took im a snek

4. What are you most afraid of?

sometimes my own mind EYES EMOJI

5. Who is your favourite villain?

HMMMMMMM probably like,, megamind i love him

6. Who is your favourite family member? (we all have one, admit it)

MY SISTERRRR

7. If you could name your own planet what would it be called?

myanus

8. Stars or Moon?

stars!!

9. Do you have/want kinds?

if my other partner wants them, sure

10. What is your greatest life goal?

making it this far

11. What is something you can’t live without?

soup

12. What is a place you associate with your childhood?

one of the parks near the store-area

13. How was your first kiss/how would you like your first kiss to go?

i never kissed, so i wouldn’t know, but pls,,,ask for consent,,, and warn me if we gonna kiss or not,,,,,

14. What is some life advice you have acquired?

ive learned a lil’ bit, but one of em probably has to be to just be like,, dont cry over something you know is fake, at least thats what i remember atm HAHA

15. Who in history has influenced you?

bruh i dont like history idk

16. What is something strange that you think about often?

h,,,hopless romantic noISIJEIORQ AHHAHA i like to think about weird scenarios in my head basically

17. Baths or Showers?

showrr i get shy with myself in baths

18. Tea of Coffee?

coffee

19. Alcohol or soft drink?

alchohol bad brisk brisk brisk

20. Writing or typing?

typing since its easier

21. What is you most favourite thing in your bedroom?

my bed its sexy and comfy

22. Spontaneous holiday! Where are you going and with who?

wait what UH I DONT KNOW probably just close close friends and family

23. Introverted or Extraverted?

i have my moments with both

24. Describe yourself in two words.

small and aggressive

31. What do you think of when you hear ‘portrait’?

a picture or image of someone/something

32. Tell me about your partner/ideal partner?

i mean no one is perfect yeah? i just want them to be honest with me and accept my AHEM struGGLES with relationships since im not the best partner

33. Tell me about your siblings, if you have any?

my sister is what you call a “girly girl”, she likes disney movies, outdoors, being loud and running around, yknow just like any other child ever

35. What are you a big advocate for?

my friends!!

36. If you’re comfortable to answer, what is the sickest you have ever been?

migraine + stomach bug + mental in trash + stomach pains + lil appendix pain

37. When were you the most scared in your life?

when i broke my arm

38. Ever had a paranormal experience?

ACTUALLY YEAH i thought i heard someone yelling help outside my window and i peaked out and realized it was nothing and i figured i was just tired but i was still kinda freaked

39. Biggest celebrity crush at the moment?

im not like other girls,,,,....

40. What is something happening in your life right now?

uhhh just general anxiousness/paranoia(?) tbh

41. What is your favourite mythological creature?

DRAAAAGOOOOOON

42. Marvel or DC?

dont know what those are

43. What object would be on your family’s banner?

soup

44. Favourite flower?

pink rose

45. One characteristic you like in a partner?

s,,,support/reassurance pls

46. What planet/star would you travel to if it were possible?

i wanna,,,, actually i dont know i think i would just enjoy floating around in general

47. What is your favourite meal… ever?

soup

48. First time…. doing anything. Describe your first time doing something?

first time i drew was twiggit sperkl and that was the most proudest i ever felt

49. Who is your favourite superhero?

bRUHHH I DUNNO I DONT WATCH THAT STUF

50. What is your favourite poem? Recite it?

i dont read

51. What is an exercise you despise doing.

burpees

52. Secret talent?

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

fite

53. Current song on replay replay replay?

[x]

55. If you weren’t in your current occupation what would you be doing?

sleeping probably

56. What is the first thing you notice about the person you fancy?

,,y,yo they kinda,,,, scrumptious,,, AHUIWRWQI

57. If you had one wish that would definitely come true, what would it be?

yes

58. If you could time travel, when and where would you visit?

i would go to future bc i wanna see what i look like

59. What is your lucky number?

60. If you adopt a pet what would it be and what would you name it?

a cat!! and i actually am planning a name and calling them clementine!!

61. Do you believe in fate/everything happens for a reason?

i believe your fate is decided by ur own actions/words

62. What is your favourite thing about your personality?

im not too hard to get along with,, i hope

63. What is your favourite thing about your appearance?

uhhhhhhhhhhhhh

64. What is your favourite clothing store?

primark bc everything is like 2 bucks

65. What is your favourite online store?

i dont do online shopping too much

66. Use one word to describe your most favourite person?

observant

67. How do you usually have your hair?

down with a clip, then ponytail next day

68. What was your favourite subject in high school?

math

69. What makes you feel empowered?

power over something/someone(as a joke/in games, not in a bad way)

70. What motivates you to do something?

a prize at the end

71. What advice would you give someone who is going through a rough time?

it gets worse before it gets better, and in the worse ill be there for you so you dont have to go through this alone

72. Ideal date?

wendys!!! sweater weather!!! cuddle!!! left 4 dead!!! comfy clothes!!!

73. What is the best date night movie?

i am not that attractive to be taken out on a date

74. What is something you are currently looking forward to?

nothing atm tbh im just here bc i have to beIEOJRWIOE

75. Tell me a funny joke?

oo wa oh wa ooh

76. Do you like musicals? If so, what’s your favourite?

never listened to one actually

77. What is your favourite song currently?

sweater weather. always.

78. What song never fails to make you dance?

POP EYED JOEEEEE IVE BEEN LIVING???? LONG TIME YOOO

79. What is your favourite “classic?”

gnomeo and juliet

80. What is the best advice you have ever been given?

obese paragraph and comfort doodles? lets go

81. Where did you ancestors come from?

puerto rico

82. What have you learned from your parents/guardians?

be tough nugget and dont take shit seriously till you have to

83. What is a phrase you heard a lot growing up?

dont step on the crack or youll break ur mothers back

84. Do you believe in magic?

nnno

85. What reminds you of your best friend?

overwatch

86. What are you passionate about?

dance dance dance

87. Tell me a story from middle school?

one time

the end

88. Who was your favourite teacher and why?

i love my bio teacher rn bro shes such a sweetheart

89. Can you roll your tongue?

yes

90. What made you pursue what you are studying? (including school subjects)

my little pony

91. Where would you like to travel to?

japan for those toys gimme gimme

92. What is something on your bucket-list?

i wanna see coral reef

93. What is home to you?

place that brings feeling of comfort/security

94. What do you do in your free time?

draw

95. If you could buy anything right now, what would it be?

food

96. If you could see anyone, living or dead, right now, who would it be?

probs one of my online friends

97. If you could choose, what would your last meal be?

soup dumplings brisk and rice

98. How would you like to die?

happy

99. List five of your favourite pieces of art (paintings, books, songs etc)

ruby eyes / sweater weather / ponyo / wall-e / idk

100. What would you change about this world?

global warming SHOOO U FAT

#post #ask #long post #sugarbreadz

7 notes · View notes

praphit · 5 years ago

Text

BAMFs of 2019

Here's last year’s CHAMP -

THANOS

(Thanos: ”WTF did you just say?” #Mood)

Let's see if he made it back.

But, first, let’s take a look at some honorable mentions, as well as some people who were trying too hard:

Rey -

Of course she is a total BAMF. So, why isn't she on this list? 3 REASONS: 1) She looks like a racist ex that I once dated. How can someone who decided to date you (a black man) be racist? Did y'all see the movie "Get Out"? You didn't know that the story was based off one of my relationships did you? So, yeah, she ain't ever gettin on this list.

2) The force is cheating - their I said it.

3) This last movie sucked. This rap she did didn't help her cause.

ALSO - there’s this - her rapping. I repeat, she ain’t ever getting on this list.

Nic Cage - cuz he's Nic bleepin Cage

Cardi B - cuz she’s Cardi bleepin B

Hooded Justice - if only he had been in more episodes. A black man disguising himself in a hood, as well as white, to fight evil in his neighborhood, that the police force (of which he is a part of) refuses to stop. Hell yeah! I love "Watchmen".

Lupita! - her brilliantly scary performance in "Us" is def BAMF material.

The Rock - honestly, The Rock is so awesome, and has been for so long, that he needs to be extra awesome to make it.

Trying too Hard. Please STOP:

Batwoman -

I like Ruby, but she's like an elf. She's an elf model. It's not bad to be an elf model, but... If a villain in Gotham, let's say "Bane"

has me cornered, and Batwoman shows up to "rescue me", Imma start praying. He'd swing her around by that red hair of hers until her head pops off.

Rambo - He’s like 80! C’mon, Sly. Please STOP.

Dark Phoenix - a movie about her temper tantrum

Joker -

- not with all of that awkward dancing he was doing

NOW, finally, the top Bad Ass Muthas of 2019!

12) Greta -

Say what you will about climate change, but you can't deny her passion and dedication, and how inspiring it is (unless you're Prez Trump or Fox News) to see and hear a kid like her do her thing. I admit that her winning the honor of "Person of the Year" is too much. But, we all wish our kids would be this dedicated to what they believe is positive change. Plus, she has a kickass soundtrack. Gets me hyped every time!

11) Dave Chappelle

Back in the day, comedians used to be brought on stage, tasked with the difficult job of making a room full of different types of people laugh. Now, it's not just about the job of jokes, but you have to do so without offending anyone, and with clean living. When did we start holding a comedian's behavior to a higher standard than we do elected officials? Dave saw this, and kept doing what made him popular anyway. In a world where most comedians are running scared from difficult topics, Dave plunges right in. BAD ASS.

10) Linda Hamilton -

Old as bleep! We have what's-her-face here,

who is kinda badass herself, but despite being a badass cyborg (or whatever the hell she is), she still felt the need to ask for help from Linda bleepin Hamilton. LH traded her Hospice bingo card in for some guns and went to town on some machines! It'd be like if your home was being surrounded by aliens, and despite you having some fire power in your home and 911 at your disposal, everyone's first thought is to call grandma. That'd have to be one BAMF of a granny!

9) Masvidal -

Allow me to describe this brotha to y'all who might not know.

Some guy was talkin smack to Masvidal, and that guy got kneed in the face by Masvidal (fastest knock out in UFC history = 5 secs). Some guy was arrogant enough to say he was the baddest mofo around, and Masvidal scheduled a fight with this dude for a literal baddest mofo around belt. Plus, that same night of the fight, when he was talking to the media after he had won, he started mocking Conor McGregor, talkin bout Conor don't want none of this. He was talking trash, publicly, about Conor, while people were feeding him pizza. BADASS!

If there is ever a fork in the road, and on one side you see The Rock, Jason Statham, and Will Smith chasing after you, and the other you have Masvidal sitting down, eating a slice of pizza, you had better take your chances with the three action heroes over this BAMF.

8) Nunes -

If you don't know who she is, I wouldn't be surprised. The UFC botched her marketing before and after she fought and beat (badly) Ronda Rousey - yeah, RONDA ROUSEY; remember her? Nunes pretty much ended her career.

The UFC was so certain that Ronda was going to win, and so shocked when she lost, that they missed an opp to get behind a fighter who is better than Ronda (though mad respect for Ronda), and is currently holding TWO belts (first woman to do so). ALSO, she's the first openly gay UFC champ in history. She's so sweet too! - well, unless you're locked in the octagon with her, then she turns into a werewolf.

7) MANDO

I don't know about you, but all of this talk of teamwork from comic book movies can be a bit tiresome. The Avengers, The Justice League, The X-Men. Everybody wants to form a band. What happened to solo acts? What happened to lone rangers? People may say "There's no I in TEAM." Yeah, that's the prob! What about I?! Sometimes, you're Justin Timberlake, and the rest of the group is simply holding you back. That's Mando. He's Disney's updated (non-racist, unless you’re talkin drones) Lone Ranger. He doesn't need teamwork (maybe a weekly cameo, and a baby tag-along, but that's it!). He has beaten up gangs of robots, burnt people up, taken people out Jason Voorhees style, cut people in half, blown people up, blown off heads, BUT because it's Disney, we haven't seen any of that good stuff. He'd be higher on this list if they gave my man an R-rating.

6) Capt Marvel -

Captain Marvel is definitely the most powerful person on this list. She is probably also the fiercest person on this list. In Endgame, when she saw her black daddy (Nick Fury) on the screen, talkin bout Thanos snapped him away, and then something snapped inside of her, and she said "I'm going to go kill that mofo." The Avengers accompanied her, but I don't think she would have needed their help. She didn't really need their help in the final showdown with Thanos. He threw her aside, but you know she was coming back, until Tony got in her way. She is so fiery that it wouldn't surprise me if in her sequel, she goes back in time in order to rematch Thanos by herself, to prove her dominance. The reason that she's not higher on the list is because she's so damned destructive. She's just like The Hulk in the fact that she shows up to destroy everything. Now, she's a lot more focused than The Hulk, but she's so powerful that she does more damage. And she doesn't have much of a personality (so far), so it's hard to gauge her badassery of attitude, you know?? Like, if you're a villain, and you get in the way of a gorilla, that gorilla will destroy you in a very spectacularly badass way, but... it's a gorilla, you know??

I’M NOT CALLING HER A GORILLA. Don’t go snitching on me to her.

I just don’t know if she’s a hero or simply has anger management issues. Is she badass or too powerful not to do badass things?

Either way, RESPECT... or she'll come for that ass.

TIME FOR A BREAK -

Let’s break from all of this badassery with some cuteness

Look how cute it is - I CAN’T TAKE IT!

Ok, back to action.

5) Iron Man -

Look, Iron-Man started this shit! Who knows what would have become of the MCU had Robert Downey Jr. blew it. Tony Stark assembled the team (granted, he was partly the reason for the break-up), he gave us Spider-Man (with that suit) (he also gave us Ultron, but let's not get bogged down with details), he held his own against Thanos in "Infinity War",

Dr. Strange thought HIM worthy of saving, and no way time travel would have worked in "Endgame" without him. Plus, in the very end, he out-smarted Thanos, and countered Thanos' one-liner ("I am inevitable.") with his own ("And I... [five minutes later - I swear that's what it felt like] am Iron-Man.").

Paid the ultimate sacrifice. Hell yeah, he's on this list. I felt kinda bad for his wife. After IM3, she was barely around. And when Tony died, she was barely comforted... cuz nobody knew her. Oh, well.. she be aiight.

4) Thanos -

This dude saw his demise coming, and still went straight ahead towards the foes who cut his head off. BADASS! He was exceptionally crafty in playing The Avengers and blowing up their base. Then, he was just sitting around waiting for the main Avengers (Capt, Iron, and Fat Thor). He wanted to gloat a bit first. BADASS! And had Gamora not betrayed him, and had given him the gaunlet, he would have beaten The Avengers AGAIN!

He even died with a cool pose (he took a knee and got his "Thinking Man" on). BADASS!

3) Arya Stark -

This young lady scared the bleep out of me. She has my fear AND respect. I was actually scared for whomever her current target was... I was like "Run, fool! She gonna get ya! Damn, Arya, you didn't have to do them like that!"

Now, I know I talked about Ruby Rose being a ridiculous choice for Batwoman, but if Arya Stark left on a voyage to Gotham and became Batwoman, I'd buy that. I can see her killing Bane very slowly. This woman is a frickin psychopath, and I love it. She's fearless! She also went up against the top cheese of the white walkers. Y'all remember that badass move she had at the end!

YES! I only wish she had said something cool when she took him out, like... "You've been Starked." No, that's terrible, but something like that. I wish she was the one sitting on the throne, but they... you know... did what they did.

2) Capt America -

I think that it's fair to say that Capt America was the rock of The Avengers After the snap, he was the only one to keep his shit together; he actually worked to help others keep their shit together.

Meanwhile, Widow is crying in the dark every night while having a PB sandwich and bourbon dinner. And she just gave up on her hair.

Thor became an alcoholic.

And you could say Hulk was ok, but... was he?

I mean, that ain't right. This is avoidance behavior if I've ever seen it.

But, Capt kept it together. Then, that fight with Thanos at the end was one of, if not THE best one on one fight of the series. Using both Thor weapons, meaning he was both badass on a fighting level and a righteousness level - which ain't easy to accomplish. And when he straped tight his shield in that trailer, and gritted his teeth - hell yeah!

Chills. Capt to Thanos: You motha bleeper"

1) John Wick -

Three movies with no time in-between to shower, sleep, take a piss, brush his teeth, NOTHING! His life for the last few years (it seems like) has been running, lurking, hiding, beating ass.. and beating ass some more. Lord knows what this dude's kill count is up to. His nickname is "Baba Yaga" Have y'all seen what the actual Baba Yaga looks like?

Terrifying. And yet, not as terrifying as John Wick when he's angry at you.

The amount of endurance and focus that has gone into this long stint of murdering (only fueled by rage and a few shots of bourbon from time to time) is uncanny.

In JW3 he makes a guy eat a book (imagine what must be done to a person's jaw for that to happen), he gets shot, stabbed, hit my two cars (seconds within each other)... Nah, y'all ain't hear me! TWO CARS! The people in the cars were trying to kill him! He fought two super ninjas - like IP Man caliber, he beat up an army of soldiers, crawled through a desert, got shot by a friend who betrayed him, fell off of a building (bouncing around a few times before hitting the pavement), and was somehow still good to schedule a fourth movie after all of that - which I assume will pickup right there.

He doesn't have any superpowers (though you wouldn't know), but his tenacity is to be envied, and outdoes everyone else's on this list.

BAMF!!!

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iamjustanotheroneshotwriter · 5 years ago

Text

I´m Todd - Tom Holland x Reader

[5,3 K words]

[Don´t repost on other websites without asking!] [Warnings: It´s an older one?] [Storyline: You´re a huge fan of the triology Chaos Walking and reading. But you don´t really watch many movies, you´re knowledge of actors is hardly there. You´re best friend from New Zealand, who you are visiting currently, is the complete difference. When the two of you meet Tom Holland at the beach, you don´t know who he is.] “I missed spending time with you, (Y/N)! Why don´t you just move over here?,” your best friend asked you. You were sitting at the beach in Tauranga, which was a town in New Zealand, on the North Island precisely. “You know, I´ve got a university place in London already. As much as I´d like to stay here, studying there has always been my dream and I´m not gonna give up upon my dreams. I´ll come back after, I promise,” you answered smiling at your friend. You looked at the surfboards next to you. You went here for a relaxed day and to go surfing, which you did a little earlier and which you wanted to do again soon. You were just taking a small break because you had lunch and ended up talking a little. You missed your best friend a lot the time you weren´t able to live close to her. She jumped up. “Lets go back to the water, shouldn´t we?,” she asked motivated. You nodded. “Sure,” you responded, grabbing your board and following her down the beach towards the water front. You´ve been surfing for a while before heading back towards land and your belongings. What you didn´t realize was, that a boy, probably a little bit older than you, was watching you. Two younger boys, twins, were sitting next to him, talking. You and your best friend just sat down, when the boy who was watching you approached. The twins watched him walking up to you and your best friend. The boy was Tom Holland, a really famous actor, what your best friend realized immediately. She took your hand for a second, gaining your confused gaze. You weren´t that big on actors and really didn´t watch many movies after all, you wouldn´t recognize the boy infront of you. “Hey, sorry, I just, I watched you two surfing. You´re pretty good and I wanted to ask, if you mind giving me some tips,” he said a little shy. While he was talking, he wouldn´t stop looking at you, what made your best friend chuckle a little. You nodded, watching the boy. “Maybe, we could go for an Ice cream and talk a little,” the boy continued. Your best friend next to you got up. “You have to do that without me. It´s getting late already, I need to babysit later,” she said, packing up her stuff. “But you two have fun!,” she added. She just stayed in her togs, slipped into her jandals and put her towel around her shoulders. She grabbed her bag. “I´ll see you later at home,” she said waving. And then she just left. You looked back at the boy in an awkward manner. “That was really awkward, I´m sorry. She´s usually not like that,” you said, trying to make the whole situation less awkward. “If you want to, I´m still up for some ice cream, if you wanted to join me, you´re welcome to,” he said in a really sweet way. You get up and grab your stuff. “I´m in,” you responded. The boy smiled. “I´m (Y/N) by the way! And you are?,” you introduced yourself. He looked at you slightly confused, but just for a second before he went back to smiling. “I´m Todd,” he introduced himself. You smile: “Just like one of the characters in Chaos Walking!”. “Have you watched the movie?,” he asked slightly panicking. “No, I´m not really a movie person. Read the books though. It´s a pretty good triology,” you respond without paying attention to him getting nervous about it. You and Todd started walking towards the ice cream shop near the harbour. You realized some people looking at Todd but he was kinda cute, so why wouldn´t they? “Thank you for inviting me, Todd, but you didn´t have to do that. I can totally pay an ice cream,” you said as he sat down next to you and placed your ice infront of you. You felt a little bit bad about the fact that you just got invited by someone you barely even knew. “It´s fine, no worries,” he replied smiling. You couldn´t help but smile yourself. After you finished, you and Todd walked slowly back to the beach talking about yourselves. “So, when you´re just here on a holiday, where are you from then?,” he asked. “I´m from (your home country), but I´m moving to London in Summer to study,” you answered. “And you?,” you then added. “You´re moving to London? That´s amazing, that´s where I live. Though, I´m traveling a lot,” he replied sounding really happy. “Do your parents have a lot of money? Because, this is the first trip I´ve done since I was 16 and before that I never actually left home, because we haven´t got that much money and I usually don´t get to travel that often,” you said, looking a little sad. “Oh, sorry, I really didn´t mean to brag- It´s because of my job, it allows me to travel a lot,” he responded and really sounded sorry. “No worries, I don´t mind. People live in different circumstances, that is just how it is. What do you work as then?,” you said, trying to pep up the mood a little. “Ah- I´m a photographer! I get paid for traveling and taking pictures,” Todd explained to you. “That sounds amazing! I imagine that is probably the best job someone could have!,” you said excited. “It is pretty amazing. What about you? What do you want to study when you´re in London?,” he asked. You smile: “I always dreamed about becoming an actress, so I applied to a lot of different Art school. I got into RADA though after all. Couldn´t have asked for more.” “Royal Academy of Dramatic Art? You must be a pretty good actress,” Todd answered. “I don´t know how I did it either,” you responded laughing. “But, I thought you didn´t watch movies. So why drama?,” Todd asked. “I might not like to watch movies, but I´m reading a lot. I love imagine playing characters from the book I´m reading and also, I always loved stage performances in school,” you explained. Todd just nodded and the two of you continued walking down the beach. When you arrived back at the towel where the twins were still sitting you realized that you hadn´t talk to them. You were just so focused on Todd, it was accidentally. “Oh, hey, you two are here with Todd? Sorry, I haven´t introduced myself properly before leaving with your companion,” you said a little embarrassed. Todd, who stood behind you, looked pleading at the twins, which you weren´t able to see since you were facing the twins instead of Todd. “It´s totally fine. We weren´t coming over to introduce ourselves either and we should have. So, let´s just do that now. I´m Sam and that´s Harry,” he introduced him and his twin. “They are my younger brothers,” Todd added, walked past you and sat down. “Feel free to sit down,” Harry said chuckling. You took a seat next to Todd. After just sitting and talking for a while you realized it was getting close to 5 PM. You needed some time to get back to your best friends house and her mum wanted you to be home for dinner in time, so you decided it might be the best thing, to get going. “Actually, it was amazing with you guys, you´re so nice, but I think I might need to head back to my friends place. Her mum´s preparing dinner and I don´t want to be late,” you said, looking a bit sad. “Do you want me to walk you?,” Todd asked immediately. You looked at his brothers: “If it´s alright with your brothers, I´d actually like that.” The twins nodded before Todd was even able to answer. Todd grabbed your stuff for you and you two started walking down the road. “It´s a 30 minutes walk though, I hope you don´t mind. You can totally stay her, if you don´t want to come, that´s totally fine,” you said not wanting to drag Todd with you. “No, it´s fine really. I can just take the bus back,” he replied and smiled. Todd was so nice and you two were already like you´ve known each other for ages. The time until you reached your friends home seemed to fly and you reached your destination way too soon. “Hey, I´ll just give you my phone number, alright? I´m going to stay here for two more weeks, maybe you´re up to go surfing together or do something else,” Todd said while holding on to your hand. “Sure, I´d love to,” you replied, giving Todd your phone so he can save his number. He gave it back to you. You put the phone back into your pocket. As soon as you had your hand back at the front Todd pulled you into a hug. And he was a pretty good at giving hugs. As soon as he let go of you, you turn around walking towards your friends house. You waved one last time, before getting welcomed back home by the loud barking of your best friends dog. After dinner, you were sitting on your best friends bed. The mattress you were sleeping on was on the floor next to it, but except for when you slept, you didn´t really use it. Your best friend was looking though her DVDs on the shelf. In that point she was the opposite of you. She loved watching movies and she probably owned as many DVDs as you owned books. “Do you even know who the boy was?,” she asked. You nodded though she couldn´t see it: “Todd of course.” “I don´t know who Todd is supposed to be, but I can tell you that the boy is not called Todd,” your friend replied, still looking for a certain DVD. “Yes he is. Why would he lie about his name?,” you said sticking with what you knew. “No, he´s not. Maybe he lied about his name, because he´s a pretty famous actor and when he realized that a cute girl like you didn´t know who he was, he just used that chance? I mean, he obviously likes you,” your friend explained. You looked at her: “He´s a famous actor? You´re messing with me right now, aren´t you?” Your best friend threw a DVD onto the bed. You picked at up, looking at the cover ´Spider-Man Homecoming´. The cover showed Spider-Man and Iron Man, two heroes from the Marvel Universe you knew from the comics your dad had in his office. Underneath it showed the name of three actors. Micheal Keaton, Tom Holland and Robert Downey Jr. You knew who Robert Downey Jr was, your mum was a huge fan of him, but you had never heard of the other two. You friend grabbed the DVD out of your hand and flipped over the DVD. And when you looked at the page that was facing you now you see what your friend meant. This boy, Todd, or whatever his name was, stood there in the middle. Surrounded by Robert Downey Jr and a few people you didn´t knew. “That boy, his name is Tom Holland, he´s playing Spider-Man in the Marvel Cinematic Universe and Todd Hewitt in Chaos Walking,” your friend explained. “That´s just a Doppelganger. You know how people have other looking exactly like them? That´s what happened here,” you tried to talk yourself into believing what you said. Which you didn´t really, but there was still a chance, wasn´t there? “The twins, his younger brothers that were with him. They were called Sam and Harry, right?,” your friend asked you, sitting back down next to you. You nodded slightly. She grabbed her phone, opening Instagram and looking something up. Then she passed her phone over to you. The Account @samholland1999 had posted a picture with him, Sam, Todd, a younger boy you had never seen, a man, who was probably their dad, and a woman that you identified as their mum. And Todd´s tag on the picture said @TomHolland2013. You breathed heavily. Your and your best friend ended up watching Spider-Man Homecoming, though you didn´t really concentrate on the movie. Instead, you were texting with Todd. Or Tom. You weren´t too sure about it all, but you decided you wouldn´t tell him for now, because you did like him a lot and you didn´t want to mess everything up. “Hey, it´s it alright if I go surfing with Todd tomorrow?,” you asked you friend who was lying next to you. “Sure, but his name is Tom, you know?,” she responded. “I know, but I don´t want to destroy this,” you answered. “You like him, don´t you?,” your friend teased you. “No, I spent all afternoon with him, because I can´t stand him!,” you replied sarcastically. “You know what I meant,” your friend said, trying to stay serious, but her voice was hinting that she was about to laugh. “I might like him, yes,” you admit. “I knew it!,” your friend yelled. “Keep it down!,” her mum yelled from the living room. You two started laughing. As soon as you finished the movie your friend looked at you, waiting for your opinion. “It was- good,” you said, trying to overplay that you didn´t pay that much attention to the movie. You friend still got what was going on. “You weren´t paying attention, were you?,” she aksed chuckling. You nodded. “I just don´t really like watching movies and it was weird seeing the boy I spent all afternoon with,” you explained. “How does it feel to date an actor?,” your friend asked, causing you to blush. “We´re not dating. And it doesn´t matter whether he´s an actor or a teacher, it´s the personality that matters!,” you answered. “You´re totally into him!,” you´re best friend said sounding like she had just proven something. You blush a little and your best friend took you into her arms. “That´s amazing! You deserve to be happy!,” she replied. “Do you think he feels the same way about me?,” you asked. What if he didn´t? Maybe he was only spending time with you to talk about surfing. Or he spent time with me, because he finally could make friends the way he used to make friends before he became an actor. “I don´t know. But no stress, you´ll figure it out since you´ll probably be spending some more time together. He doesn´t hate you, otherwise he wouldn´t have asked you if you´d like to meet him again!,” she responded. You nodded. If he hated you, he wouldn´t want to hang out with you. But he wanted to. As soon as the doorbell rang, you grabbed your bag and you and your best friend walked down the hallway. You´re were already dressed up for surfing, while your friend was still in usual cloth since she´ll be heading off to work soon. Not that you would admit it, but you were kind of excited. You´re best friend reached the door a little before you and opened it. Todd stood in front of it, like you would´ve guessed anyways, smiling past your friend towards you. And of course, you smile back. “Are we ready to go?,” he asked pointing with his finger towards a small van behind him. The twins, Sam and Harry sat there and the three people you knew from Sam´s Instagram post and whose names you weren´t able to recall. “Sure,” you answered, hugging your best friend as a goodbye. Then you rushed past her, towards Todd who hugged you as well. The two of you made your way towards the van and he opened the door so you can hop in. He then sat down next to you. Opposite you the twins sat and in the middle the youngest of the siblings. Todd´s parents were in the front. “This is (Y/N), she is probably the most amazing surfer I´ve ever seen,” Todd introduced you singing praises. You blush a little: “I´m not that good, I don´t want you guys to expect to see the world champion on the board.” “You are pretty good!,” Todd disagreed. The boys started laughing. “I´m Patrick, but please call me Paddy. I´m Todd´s little brother,” he explained. Since Todd was obviously sticking with faking his identity, you decided to not destroying it either. “And these are our parents,” Sam said, pointing towards his parents behind him. “You can call me Nikki and that´s my husband Dom,” Todd´s Mum said. “Nice to meet you, (Y/N),” she added. You smiled: “It´s so nice to meet you guys too!” “I know, we wanted to go surfing, but the waves aren´t too good today, so we though about visiting Waimarino Adventure Park instead. I hope your up for that too,” Todd explained to you. “Sure, I´d love to. I haven´t been there in ages!,” you answered. “Todd told us a lot about you yesterday night. Seems like he really likes you!,” Paddy said suddenly. “We´ve just met yesterday and (Y/N) seems like a girl I´d be friends with,” Todd said fast. You giggled a little. “What?,” Todd asked. “You just seem like a boy I´d be friends with.” As soon as you arrived, Todd jumped out of the van and ran around the car to open the door for you. You gladly took his hand, allowing him to help you out of the van. “You want to go kayaking?,” Todd asked. You nodded, you loved kayaking almost as much as surfing. “You two have fun! I´m pretty sure we´ll find you again later,” his mum answered. The two of you nodded and went down the opposite direction from his family to where they had kayak´s. After Todd and you got a kayak, he helped you getting in. Then he took the seat behind you, which caused the kayak to shake a little. “Don´t make us fall over, please,” you laughed. “I´m sitting already, no worries,” Todd assured you, before handing you a paddle. The two of you started paddling onto the lake. To your left you had the other parts of the adventure park. It was more like a water park and looked pretty fun. “You seem like the sporty kind of girl,” Todd said from behind. You tried to turn around so you can face him while answering. “Well, not really, I just really enjoy things like surfing, kayaking or swimming. And only as long as I´ve got people with me that I like,” you explained. “So you like me?,” Todd asked, laughed slightly. “Maybe I do. I guess you´ll never know,” you chuckled. Todd tried to tickle you and you started to dodge his attacks. This was shaking the kayak enough to capsize. “Tom!,” you yelled before landing in the water. You were glad you were wearing a life jacket and that you didn´t wear something heavy. As you resurfaced you looked out for Todd, who just came back to the surface, not too far from you. He looked at you, laughing a little. You joined in, but it didn´t last for long. Something seemed to suddenly came into his mind. “You- you know who I am?,” he stuttered. “Yeah, you are Todd, we´ve been spending a little time together,” you answered. “No- that´s not- that´s not, what I was talking about. You called me Tom!,” he said. “Shit,” you muttered. Tom heard you anyway. “You lied to me! You knew who I am! I just hoped to find someone who liked me for my character and not for the acting! I should´ve know better!,” he yelled at you now. You felt tears coming up. “You don´t talk to me about lying. You are the one who couldn´t even tell me his name! At least, I didn´t lie about any fact about myself. And to your information, I didn´t knew who you were when we met. I didn´t knew who you were when we spent the afternoon together. My friend told and showed me. And I decided to pretend I didn´t know because I didn´t want to destroy what we had. Because, believe it or not, I like you! I wanted us to be friends and I didn´t want the acting thing coming between us,” you yelled back, starting to swim towards the land, leaving Tom with the kayak. You weren´t swimming back to where you came from. Instead you swam to a little forest which was a lot closer to you. As you arrived, you made your way out of the water, trying not to step on something since you were barefoot. You were soaking wet, but it was pretty warm, so you would probably just dry off in the sun. As you found a tree, which was hanging slightly into the water, you took off your life jacket sitting down and dipping your feet in the water. Tom was still out on the lake, struggling with the kayak. You didn´t know how to feel. Somehow you felt sorry for yelling, but he was being unfair towards you as well. He was finally back in the kayak, looking for someone. You figured out who he was looking for just a couple of seconds later. He spotted you, grabbed one of the paddles that were laying in the boat with him now. He paddled your way. As he reached the tree you were sitting on, he tried to figure out a way to climb next to you. “A little help would be nice!,” he said, holding out his hands and hoping for you to help. Instead you just ignored him. Somehow he managed to climb up next to you. Without either of you realizing, the kayak started to slowly drift away. “Look, I am sorry. I really am. I shouldn´t have yelled at you. I didn´t have a good reason to do so, I was just scared. I really like you and I felt like maybe, you liked me for being an actor. And that isn´t an excuse, I know that, I just panicked,” he tried to apologize. You looked at him, still tears in your eyes. “Look, Tom, I didn´t know who you were. My friend showed me. And even after, I didn´t care. It doesn´t matter whether you´re an actor, a prince or a gardener. I like you for your character,” you said. “And you are right for being mad and not forgiving me, because I was behaving stupid. And I´m really sorry,” Tom kept on apologizing. “I was wrong for not telling you that I figured out who you were either. I like you, I still do. Maybe, we can start all over?,” you suggested. Tom smiled: “Sure. I´m Tom! Nice to meet you!” “I´m (Y/N), it´s a pleasure meeting you too. By the way, our kayak is heading back without us,” you laughed. Tom looked around, realizing you were right. He jumped back into the water. You put on your life jacket and followed him. When you finally reached the kayak, you were struggling to catch your breath. Swimming with a life jacket wasn´t that easy. Tom laughed a little. “I really like you,” you said suddenly. Tom looked at you in shock. “Sorry, I shouldn´t have, I just thought, maybe-,” you were cut off by Tom. He swam over and pressed his lips onto yours. “I really like you too, (Y/N).” When you got back to Tom´s family, the two of you were holding hands. “Oh, something has happened! Maybe, I should get my crush to go kayaking with me as well,” Sam joked. Harry started laughing. “I don´t think that will help,” Tom laughed before kissing you on the forehead. “Stop being so mean, Todd,” Harry said. You looked at Tom. “You can actually stop calling him Todd. I know who he is,” you explained. “Better that way. I didn´t like him lying to the girl he likes anyway. Lying is never a good start,” his mum said. You smiled, thinking about rather not telling them what happened exactly. After you, Tom and his family had lunch, you get finally changed out of clothes that were dried by now into your togs. Tom took your hand and dragged you towards the Lake. As you reached the lake, he pushed you into the lake before jumping after you. You resurface, laughing and looking towards Sam and Harry, who jumped in after the two of you. You were swimming and messing around for a couple of hours and it was getting late already when you left the water. “They´ve got a beach party here tonight,” Tom said, looking at you. You laughed: “That was random.” “Sorry, that was more like a, do you want to be my date?,” he responded. You nodded. “Of course!” “I was just about to ask her the same question!,” Sam said, making you laugh. “Well, she´s my girlfriend, so she would´ve said no anyway, right?,” questioned Tom. “Who knows,” you teased, before Tom started tickling you. You kept on messing around for a little longer and got changed after. Loud music was already playing, though it wasn´t dark yet. You sat down together with the Hollands and ate dinner, before Tom and you were making your way over to the dance floor. The two of you sat down next to it in the sand. Tom put his arm around you and you were putting his head onto his breast. “Today was exciting,” Tom said. “And perfect,” you answered. The two of you started out onto the lake. Suddenly, the DJ started playing perfect by Ed Sheeran. You could feel Tom moving and you lifted up you head. He got up and held out his hand towards you. “May I have this dance?,” he asked. You nodded, took his hand and let him drag you onto your feet before following him onto the dance floor. Throughout the following weeks, Tom and you went out on several dates, but eventually, he had to leave again. The two of you tried to spent as much time together as you could. You went out for dinner, watched a movie, went dancing and surfing together. But the time went by way to fast. Just two weeks later, the two of you stood at the airport together with his family. You were each others arms and holding each other tight, trying not to cry. At least, you did, while Tom tried to keep to a positive attitude. “We´ll see each other again in no time. Just 8 more month. And we can always visit each other!,” he tried to make you smile. You cracked a little smile: “Yes, but I thought you were going to Canada to film The Answer And The Ask in two month. I might not be an actress, but I´m sure you won´t be back in London, when I arrive. And I can´t visit you before, I need to save the money for studying,” you answered upset. “We will be fine, (Y/N)! We skype all the time and I make sure to get off so I can come to pick you up from the airport when you arrive in London!,” he replied, pulling you even closer. “I promise,” he added. You nodded slightly, while listening to his heart beating in his chest. You two stood there for another few minutes. Harry was taking a couple of pictures of the two of you that Tom promised to send you and to have with him wherever he´ll go. “Tom, I think, we have to leave now,” Dom said. You started to feel tears in your eyes. Tom pulled you a little closer again, if that was even possible, before letting go of you. Then, he grabbed his bag from Sam, who had to hold his own, Tom´s and Harry´s bag at the same time. He kissed you, before following his family. Your best friend, who came to the airport with you, started hugging you, while you were watching Tom and his family walking through the security check. He waved one last time, before walking around the corner. ´I´m going to see you again soon!´ you thought to yourself. “That is such a cute story. And you´ve been in a relationship for exactly 6 years today, right?,” Jimmy Kimmel asked you. You smiled: “Yes, it´s been 6 magical years since we admitted our love for each other. And I´m still as happy as I was when we did.” “I can see that. Sadly, you aren´t able to spend your anniversary together this year,” Jimmy said. You frown a little: “Yeah, Tom is filming overseas in Singapore currently and wasn´t able to get a couple of days off. But I don´t mind. I´m sad we can´t be together, but it´s his job and I wouldn´t love him less just because he´s away working.” “You two are really meant to be. And of course the people see that. That´s why not only me, but a lot of your fans tried to do everything possible to get your Tom over here. And we succeeded.” You started to cry about that, not even completely aware of what just happened. The audience started cheering and you turned around, seeing your boyfriend standing there. You were barely even able to see through the tears of happiness streaming down your face when you run towards your boyfriend. Toms fans did this. Those people you thought would hate you. And your fans did this. Tom embraced you. You kissed him, getting even happier having your boyfriend this close to you now. When he let go of you, he looked at you, his eyes glistened. “(Y/N) (Y/L/N). We´ve known each other for 6 years now and I couldn´t be happier about meeting you in the first place. You are my one and only, you are the person who cheers me up, when I´m down, the person who would cuddle I can cuddle with for hours. I love falling asleep next to you in the evening and waking up next to you in the morning. You are the most amazing person I could´ve met and I don´t ever want to be without you again,” he said. You couldn´t stop crying, you were probably the happiest person on the planet. Suddenly Tom kneeled down. You couldn´t believe it. The audience started screaming as he pulls out a small black box. He opened it and held it out towards you. “(Y/N) (Y/L/N) would you marry me?,” he asked. You nodded, still crying. “Y-yes,” you said though barely able to say anything at all. Tom took your hand, pushing the ring onto it, before putting the box back into his pocket. Then he took you in his arms again, holding you close and kissing you. He was crying as well. The whole audience was standing, clapping and cheering and when you finally calmed back down you could see some of them even crying. Jimmy Kimmel was clapping as well. “I hope I´ll be invited to your wedding!,” Jimmy joked. You laughed: “Sure thing!” Tom took your hand. “Since I knew about this I have of course something planned as a present. In hope you´d say yes,” Jimmy said before looking from the two of you back to the audience. “Please give it up for Ed Sheeran, playing Perfect, the song those two had their first dance to!” You felt tears coming up again. This evening coulnd´t possibly get better than this. Tom holds out his hand. “May I have this dance?,” he asked gentleman-like just how he did the first time he asked you to dance. You took his hand. “I love you.”

#tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland imagine #tom holland x y/n #chaos walking #todd hewitt #imagine

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tamayokny · 5 years ago

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thoughts on dark phoenix. spoilers below.

if you don’t want to read all of this, skip to the bottom where it’s all summarized?

first, i came in knowing that i would be disappointed in the film in some way but still, i was excited! the x-men are my life; my family.

anyway...

the first hour...idk lowkey the editing threw me off. it was lowkey...uh...bad. at least some parts were. i really enjoyed the last hour.

liked the x-men in space scene...and when miss jean grey absorbed the phoenix force? RIIIIIIIISE!

before i continue let me just say: i love you sophie belinda turner jonas. stay iconic; a legend and you did great with what you were given! fuck everyone who said you “ruined [x-men and game of thrones] in the same year” (yeah, i saw that in a facebook comment! lmao i HAVE to laugh at that.)

i’m glad the movie covered charles’s flaws as a teacher, if only a little bit. from experience, i know that you should not repress trauma like that because it will rise and be...a mess. so they covered that well.

i've also seen a lot of arguments over charles xavier’s character in dark phoenix and honestly? i thought it was fine. it reflected his comic counterpart more in recent years. (y’all should be happy that scott didn’t kill him in this movie! lol)

rip to mrs. smith and the rest of her dinner party (the husband was kind of a dick, though).

as much as i love jessica chastain, i really didn’t like the antagonists in this film. they provided a GREAT fight scene and conflict in the peak moments of the film, but i wish they focused on the bond between jean grey and the phoenix more, as well as how it affected the team.

AND BEFORE I FORGET: DAZZLER CAMEO DAZZLER CAMEO!! I loved it.

the confrontation between jean and her teammates outside of her father’s house was great. i liked when kurt tried to stop her and they went through the walls. OUCH when quicksilver got hurt though...i felt that.

also: remember when we all thought quicksilver was going to be one of the deaths? lmao

speaking of deaths...mystique really is dead and honestly? thank god. i hated how they’ve written her character in the past two movies. it also doesn’t help that i dislike the actress...her best movies were first class and days of future past but once they started to put her on the hero route? no thanks

i’m sad that they never explored or outright stated that mystique is kurt’s biological mother. (for the non-comic fans: kurt is the son of azazel and mystique.)

hank’s grieving and his lashing out on charles...and then he went to magneto so they could kill jean...good job nicholas

i must ask: what was the relationship between beast/mystique? like where they romantically involved or still kind of tip toe-ing around? some scenes implied they had feelings for sure but....idk

GENOSHA, BABY! GEN-O-SHA!

jean entering this mutant haven was beautiful but magneto’s entrance? omg i lowkey wanted to laugh. magneto remains to be dramatic and i love it

i also liked the helicopter scene

okay so back with the team:

peter got hurt so you don’t see him until the very end of the film

kurt was used pretty well

ororo was underused when it came to the dialogue department. my girl barely said anything BUT: her action scenes were amazing and i’ll get to that in a minute

to the surprise of no one, while kurt remained hopeful but wary and ororo believed jean to be dangerous (which, she is and was), scott was on charles’s side and firmly believed that they could bring jean back.

i wish the dark phoenix was able to cement the scott/jean relationship more because while i knew they were a couple, it would probably be difficult to know how serious they were. (yes, some scenes showed it but idk how impactful they were?)

okay so fast forward a bit: jean and vuk (jessica chastain) are in new york so magneto, hank, and two other mutants on their side are there to kill jean, and then the x-men show up to save/stop that from happening.

this fight scene was pretty cool...especially when magneto brought that subway car above ground and used it to enter the building jean and vuk were in...magneto, ever the dramatic king who i love

the charles/jean moment...heartfelt. like i mentioned, this covered one important aspect of the dark phoenix saga: xavier's faults. he believed he was doing the right thing and when jean saw how her (biological) father reacted to her...she understood. while i believe what charles did was fucked up and i still would have been pissed, i would have forgiven him like jean did, because he gave her hope and a chance. it was hope to help her manage her abilities, and a chance to life as a mutant because let’s face it, if she would have gone in the child services system she would have been fucked.

and then like any other x-men movie: the government got involved, subdued all the mutants (scott blasted vuk out the building, so she wasn’t captured), and they were locked and loaded on the train. jean got isolated from the rest of them.

BEFORE I CONTINUE: when scott said “i’ll fucking kill you!”...i almost started laughing. i’m sorry, but it’s the truth.

anyway on the train: vuk and the rest of the alien shapeshifters come to wreck shit up and the killed most of the guard (which caused kurt to go on a killing rampage after one of them died in front of him....okay. i was kinda impressed tbh, despite most depictions of kurt would probably not do that.)

the mutants fucked shit up! i think the 2 mutants that helped magneto were both killed though, which made me :// like really? k.

which reminds me: i wish psylocke and jubilee were in dark phoenix but the actresses had other film commitments, so i understand and forgive. also...still said about angel and his fate in apocalypse :( angel is always the most mistreated out of the original 5 lmao.

anyway that train fight scene was really good...despite barely having dialogue (:/) SHE KICKED ASS. and when erik destroyed part of the train? KIIIIIIIING!!!!!

BUT THEN JEAN UNLEASHED PHOENIX AGAIN!!! AND SHE FUCKING TOOK THAT TRAIN, PROTECTED HER FAMILY, AND DESTROYED THE REMAINING ALIENS. FUCKING QUEEN! MCU CAPTAIN MARVEL WHO???? MCU WANDA??? MCU THOR???? NO. JUST JEAN GREY BITCHES.

jean sacrificed herself...i remember reading something that said “2 confirmed x-men deaths” and i knew it was going to be mystique and jean

but honestly i was thinking “three deaths” because fuck, i thought jean was going to kill scott! like i’m disappointed how they didn’t focus on jean’s destruction on everyone and being like...evil. lmao i was really hoping but simon you played me, huh. (great marketing i guess?)

jean died but didn’t die, knowing how jean grey is lmao

they renamed the school after jean and i’ve seen people being salty about it LMAO....they renamed the school for jean in the comics (it changed back eventually...?) so stay mad

people are also mad that charles retired and fucked off to paris adfcrvhfbg

while i don’t think charles would have retired (well...that could be debatable?), i think for the end of FOX x-men, it was okay

also erik offering charles a place to stay in paris???? fucking PARIS??? THE CITY OF LOVE??????????? I’M FUCKING LOSING IT!!!!

AND THAT GAME OF CHESS BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!

the very last shot was of the sky, where you could see the phoenix in the air......yoooooooOOOOOOOOO

okay so before i tell you all my summary, let’s talk about why dark phoenix may not have done so well, or at least part of it:

the mutants are now owned by disney, since the disney/fox merge became official (fuck). so, because of this, dark phoenix had to go through reshoots (which brought us that glorious train fight). apparently, the dark phoenix saga was going to be in three parts but because of the merge...that’s not happening. so, dark phoenix is officially the last x-men movie (unless you count new mutants that will be released on disney+, last i've heard). so, because of this, i think this last movie left a lot of fans unsatisfied because we all know that there should have been more to the story, and they had it planned out! unfortunately...disney has to fucking buy everything.

another reason: the x-men/fox superheros are not as hyped as the MCU/disney superheroes. you know this. i know this. and after a few releases from the MCU this year? the x-men didn’t stand a chance. let me also add: fuck the critics, there’s been such a disconnect between them and the audience for years. i’m not saying dark phoenix was perfect, but it’s not as horrific as people (critic and audience) have been saying.

now, the final thoughts and summary:

i went into the theatres knowing it wasn’t going to be the best thing ever. it was average; that’s the best i can describe it. it had good moments and it had bad moments. jean grey as dark phoenix was not as antagonistic as i hoped and while i enjoy jessica chastain, I really didn’t like the villains of the film. i wish chastain was the “physical embodiment” or whatever it was of the phoenix like many speculated. dark phoenix should have focused on jean (which it did but...), her relationships with her teammates, scott, xavier (it did brush on it), and other core values of the dark phoenix saga. it would have been great to see this all play out but unfortunately, things change.

thank you, fox, for twenty years of the x-men. just like how they changed the comic book industry (they made marvel comics), the very first x-men movie is the reason why we have our many superhero films today. remember that. good luck with them MCU, and don’t you fucking dare mess them up!

let me also add a thank you to the x-men cast. with dark phoenix, they all certainly gave their best. sophie did it, and i will miss tye sheridan as cyclops. most of all, i think i will miss michael fassbender as magneto. while he may not be jewish, he certainly gave his all. he really studied magneto and i respect and admire him for that. also rip to rose byrne as moira mactaggert. where the fuck was she when the events of dark phoenix went down??

#mads makes a text post #xmdp #dark phoenix #x men #xmdp spoilers

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palemoonpersephone · 5 years ago

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60 Question Tag Challenge

So I’ve been tagged by @kaffeinic to answer these questions. Here we go!

1: Selfie.

Gonna have to decline this one as I’m very shy but I’ll describe myself a little to make up for it - very long dark reddish-brown hair, brown eyes, pale skin, fun size.

2: What would you name your future kids?

Can’t say for certain, I feel it would depend on what name felt right for that baby but I like many Italian and Celtic names.

3: Do you miss anyone?

Yes, definitely. Old friends, old pen-pals/online friends who just seemed to disappear. And I miss my partner and my friends when we’re apart.

4: What are you looking forward to?

the weekend Seeing my partner again, working on my writing projects, starting third year of uni, and unashamedly the new Witcher series on Netflix!

5: Is there anyone who can always make you smile?

The lovely @kaffeinic for a start! My best friend, my partner, my doggy 🐕

6: Is it hard for you to get over someone?

All depends on the context. I’ve had crushes in the past that have been relatively easy to get over but then I’ve lost a couple of close friends and that had a pretty traumatic affect on me. Other times it’s been very easy because it’s been the right thing to do because the person I cut off was very toxic/bad for me.

7: What was your life like last year?

In some aspects very similar, my interests are all pretty much the same, my mental health was still difficult to manage and I was looking forward to my upcoming year of uni. But this time last year I wasn’t in a relationship and hadn’t began a really amazing journey of self-discovery.

8: Have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?

feel so attacked rn yes, I very much have. Crying tends to be my natural response to most high-running emotions.

9: Who did you last see in person?

Within my household, my mum as I’m currently home for the summer. Outside of that, my partner when he last came down to visit

10: Are you good at hiding your feelings?

I can be. I’ve found it depends on how well other people can see. Over the years I’ve had to hide all sorts of things, especially from my family. For years they didn’t know I was severely ill with anxiety and depression but that might be testament to poor observation and parenting skills, or maybe I just became that good and hiding things. I’m striving now to be more open about how I feel rather than bottling things up because it’s like drinking poison.

11: Are you listening to music right now?

Not at this minute.

12: What is something you want right now?

a hug a life without crippling mental illness probably inspiration to work on my novel

13: How do you feel right now?

Quite tired, a bit lonely. Really craving some energy and pizzazz

14: When was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?

Probably the Monday before last at 4-ish in the morning when my partner had to leave for work.

15: Personality description?

Shy, careful, introverted, open, understanding, affectionate, creative

16: Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?

Pretty much the story of my life. For the last 10-12 years I’ve had to keep so many things to myself, especially regarding my family. I could never say what I thought/believed because it would all spiral into a catastrophe, wasn’t a very safe environment emotionally-speaking. There have been so, so many things I’ve wanted to say but haven’t for the risk of rocking the boat.

17: Opinion on insecurities?

Most people I know have them, including myself but I think people can be misled to think that others don’t have them because of the outward images they display. And from my experience they’re usually there for all the wrong reasons (if there’s such a thing as a right reason to have an insecurity)

18: Do you miss how things were a year ago?

No, I’ve only gained things since then.

19: Have you ever been to New York?

Not so far but I can’t say I have any desire to

20: What is your favourite song at the moment?

Perhaps Ring of Fire by In This Moment

21: Age and birthday?

21, born 18/09/97

22: Description of crush?

(also my partner) 6″1, dark/black hair, brown eyes, built like a brick shit-house, tan skin. He’s intelligent, considerate, honourable, principled, fierce, indomitable, funny, supportive and respectful.

23: Fear(s)?

I’m just gonna say most things

24: Height?

5″3

25: Role model?

Not sure I have one. I aspire more to qualities like goodness, kindness and innocence

26: Idol(s)?

see above

27: Things I hate:

Small mindedness, cruel/selfish/narcissistic people, exclusion, organised religion (as more of an abstract concept), people not getting what they deserve, when people aren’t willing to listen and learn, having plans ruined, seeing people upset, people who don’t put in effort/only take and never give back

28: “I’ll love you if...”

Lots of possible answers as there lots of sorts of love. In short, if you give back. But then love shouldn’t be conditional, so I guess I should say I couldn’t love someone (in any way) who never gives back.

29: Favourite film(s)?

Beauty and the Beast, Peter Pan, The Lion King, The Other Boleyn Girl, most Marvel movies

30: Favourite tv show(s)?

Call the Midwife, Brooklyn 99, QI, The Last Kingdom, Doctor Who

31: 3 random facts.

I’ve been writing for almost 12 years now. I sleep with cuddly toys and make bed forts. I use fantasy to cope with reality.

32: Are your friends mainly girls or guys?

Right now, girls but when I was in secondary school most of my friends were boys.

33: Something you want to learn.

In a physical/skills sense I’d like to learn how to dance. In an emotional/mental sense I want to learn how to unburden by troubles and let go of things holding me down.

34: Most embarrassing moment?

With an anxiety disorder many, many things feel hideously embarrassing. Don’t think I could pick out one exact moment.

35: Favourite subject?

History

36: 3 dreams you want to fulfill?

Becoming a successful author. Make lots of money so I can give it to charities. Overcome/beat my mental illnesses.

37: Favourite actor/actress?

Probably Tom Hiddleston

38: Favourite comedian(s)?

Stephen Fry, Dara O’Brian, Sandi Toskvig, Aisling Bea

39: Favourite sport(s)?

Riding, archery, yoga (still physical activity so I guess it counts), swimming, running

40: Favourite memory?

Right now I think it’s when my partner told me he loved me for the first time

41: Relationship status?

If you haven’t guessed by now I’m concerned 😋

42: Favourite books?

Too many to choose from.

43: Favourite song ever?

Probably Lithium by Evanescence

44: Age you get mistaken for?

Always younger than I am. I really haven’t changed much since I was about 16. Still get ID’d almost everywhere because I look younger than 18 apparently

45: How you found out about your idol.

Not really applicable.

46: What my last text message says.

That’s no one’s business.

47: Turn-ons?

Maturity, experience, intelligence, someone who knows themselves and is in control, someone who can give care and guidance, someone who can bring my out of my shell.

48: Turn-offs?

Idiocy, lack of self-care/hygiene, someone who isn’t willing to listen, entitlement, intolerance, confidence when it hasn’t been earned.

49: Where I want to be right now.

The New Forest

50: Favourite picture of your idol?

Kinda need an idol first...

51: Star sign?

Virgo

52: Something I’m talented at.

anxiety? I’m quite good at riding and hopefully my writing isn’t too shabby

53: 5 things that make me happy.

Animals, people I love, random acts of kindness, smells that awaken nice memories, creative passion

54: Something that’s worrying me at the moment.

Guess at random and you’ll probably be correct.

55: Tumblr friends?

@kaffeinic I feel we clicked really really fast and they are possibly the bravest person I’ve ever met and I hope we stay friends.

@alittleandherdaddysworld they’ve been really kind to me and we seem to have some things in common, I hope we get to know each other better!

@xxdaddyslitttleprincessxx they’ve also been really kind to me when I needed someone to turn to and I hope that we too can turn our acquaintance into a friendship!

@thorkingofasgard I think we’ve known one another for just over a year and have had many lovely talks over that time, they’re always a friend I can turn to.

@mblargh-its-me-loki a friend who I sometimes don’t hear from for long periods at a time and I often miss them and hope they’re doing okay

@c0ffeebee their artwork and dedication is second to none and I like to think we got on well when I commissioned them for some art

56: Favourite food(s)?

Love curries and stir-fry, anything involving noodles, Italian cuisine and I’ll never say no to cake

57: Favourite animal(s)?

Dogs, horses, deer, bunnies, foxes, otters, dolphins, mice (I really could go on so I’ll stop myself)

58: Description of my best friend.

5″5, dark blonde hair, brown eyes, tan skin. She’s lovely, intelligent, determined, hilarious, gorgeous and we know each other back to front

59: Why I joined tumblr?

At first it was to connect with more people and spread my fanfiction work but over time it’s become more about just sharing and interacting with what I like and trying to make more and more lovely friends

60: Ask me anything you want.

Hold nothing back

I’m going to tag my listed tumblr friends so that’s @alittleandherdaddysworld @xxdaddyslitttleprincessxx @thorkingofasgard @mblargh-its-me-loki @c0ffeebee and any of my followers are welcome to take part

#60 question challenge #ask me anything #answered

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dexi-green · 6 years ago

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Avengers:Endgame Thoughts !!SPOILERS!!

Just some random thoughts and questions and such about the movie. There are spoilers so…don’t read if you haven’t seen it and care about spoilers. I tried to organize it a bit but we all know that’s impossible.

Okay so..I’m not the biggest fan of the Russo Brothers and what they have done with their Marvel films. There have been some improvements, and some things that just can’t be helped and I just want to make that known first. I don’t really hate any of the films they made, they are definitely enjoyable, and fun, have great moments.

I’ve been a bit critical about how they used some of the big storylines from the comics in the films, because they never felt the same (they never can honestly, comic books and films are different formats, different ways of storytelling) but this honestly is the closest to the annuals. This is the closest to waiting an entire year after reading comics each month, to the big huge event. It feels as big as those. Civil War didn’t to me, Age of Ultron didn’t, Infinity War kinda, but this. This felt huge. Especially when actually watching it.

This is a huge fanservice film. You could probably enjoy it without any prior knowledge, or without seeing all the other films, but god, it’s better if you do. Soooo many little throwbacks and easter eggs and payoffs from the earliest films and the comics. So I highly suggest the other films, I think every single one film has some sort of tribute in this one. (I’m making a list of references and such so I’ll see)

So one of my biggest gripes out of the way…the Joe Russo cameo. It completely pulled me out of the film. The scene itself could’ve been a nice little thing to see what Steve has been up to during those five years but…just watching and listening to what was mostly Joe Russo talking and inserting himself into the universe…eh :/ It’s not like a Stan Lee cameo, he didn’t have a hand in creating these characters and we don’t owe the Russo Brothers as much as we owe Lee and Kirby and Simon and Ditko and Bendis, etc. I think his cameo in Civil War and Winter Soldier was better, he barely talked in WS and not at all in CW, was barely on screen, it was fine. I just felt it was a little too much… His cameo was longer than Stan’s.

Also that was their way of making the “first openly gay character in a Marvel movie.” they even said that, “We felt it was important that one of us play him, to ensure the integrity and show it is so important to the filmmakers that one of us is representing that.” which...is really a cop out I feel. That LGBTQ representation, the smallest line of being on a date, could’ve easily gone to Valkyrie/Brunnhilde’s character, seeing as Tessa Thompson says her character is queer and played her that way (take one look at Tessa’s or Brie Larson’s twitter or some interviews, it isn’t hard to see they support it), and Tessa is actually Bisexual in real life. But whatever I guess...

Though it was definitely funnier than the other movies the Russo’s have done, and DEFINITELY prettier. I’ve had a big issue with the color grading and scene composition in the Russo’s movies. Say what you will, Joss Whedon knew how to make a comic splash page translate to screen, but the Russo’s did...the airport fight scene. The scene’s in their films that did have great composition were pulled straight from the comics (like Steve Vs. Tony, Shield vs. Repulsors) Okay. But, in Endgame it definitely looks better. There are memorable scenes. There are shots that I thought...okay thats art. The end battle had some shots, like Thanos in the foreground pointing his sword, and his army behind him. When Tony was looking out of the Benatar and saw the glowing light that is Captain Marvel. When Okoye, T’Challa, and Shuri walk out of the portal to the final battle, it’s a bit hazy, almost dream like, gives the feeling of Steve seeing them and not knowing whether this was real or not. The colors still look a bit dull in some scenes, but at this point it seems like the Russo’s are resigned to gray and mud and mess to get that gritty “realistic” vibe that for some reason is what people want and not the escapism, fantasy, cosmic stories that comics can be.

I did really like the small nods towards how relationships formed or degraded throughout time, or how people changed, especially during the five years we didn’t see. We got a little nod towards Carol and Rhodey’s relationship from the comics with…a nod and a good luck and a lingering look. Natasha calls Rocket fluffball, I think it was, and says she gets e-mails from him. Bruce and Natasha are on some sort of not dating but close friends terms after hardly interacting in Infinity War. Definitely acknowledging Age of Ultron and not just making it a joke and trying to push it aside. Nebula and Rocket seem to have gotten closer, probably due to all of their friends dusting. Rocket and Bruce seem to be on some level of friendship, or at least acknowledge each others connection to Thor. Okoye calling Natasha, Nat. Carol has been coming to earth somewhat regularly. Tony and Nebula playing the paper football game, her giving him the food even when he offered it to her, (It reminded me of the blueberry bit in the first Avengers) working together to try and get somewhere. TONY AND MORGAN!! He raised a whole five year old kid. He definitely seems like a stay at home dad, especially since Pep is the CEO of Stark Industries.

It’s really nice (and sad) to see how some people’s lives moved forward. How people tried to move on, how all these different personalities coped with the loss. Seeing Cassie has aged was definitely a favorite. Cassie has thought her dad was dead for five years, and for Scott he was only gone for five hours, but he comes back to his little girl as a teenager. At the end, when we see them together with Hope, we know that Scott now has to go forward knowing he missed five years of his daughter’s life, and is probably going to try and make the most of it. Maybe that means giving up Ant-Man, or having her join in (we need Stature, I mean come on, we need another young avenger). But it was nice to see that time didn’t just stand still until the Avengers found a fix. It kept moving forward.

I wish we would’ve gotten a bit more of Wakanda/Wakandans. Okoye was still alive, and I think M’Baku survived the Snap as well, but I don’t think we saw him until the final battle. We only got a couple glimpses of Wakanda. Which I guess makes sense because with both T’Challa and Shuri gone, Wakanda needed leadership (though I’m unsure as to whether Ramonda dusted as well), but it would’ve been nice for Okoye to maybe be a little involved in the efforts to get the stone, especially considering Wakanda is so advanced. Even without Shuri there could’ve been something they could contribute. T’Challa really had like one or two lines basically but okay.

I sorta didn’t like Thanos dusting away. I was a bit off put at the beginning when Thor cut of his head because to me, that was Nebula or Gamora’s kill (though seeing as both Gamora and Nebula seemed somewhat sad after seeing him die (Gamora after she seemed to kill him in IW and Nebula after Thor went for the head) MCU Gamora and Nebula might not want to do that). I understand it though, Thor was angry. At the end I was hoping that Thanos wouldn’t dust so we could get that kill, and sort of mirror Tony’s fear of being the only survivor, but… I guess it’s the writer’s poetic justice. It’s not bad, but I just kinda hoped they would go a different way with it.

I love when the music cuts out and Quill is just dancing and singing to himself. “So he’s an idiot”.

“I bet the raccoon didn’t have to climb a mountain.” “Technically he’s not a raccoon you know?” “oh whatever he eats garbage.” Are they talking about Rocket...or...Thor?

That girl power scene? We love it. “Don’t worry” “She’s got help.”

I love how they pass around Tony’s Gauntlet like a football, trying to get it to the van. But when Peter had it and was thrown to the ground and was curled up clutching it, I was so prepared to cry.

Same with Rocket trying to protect Groot.

No vision. I didn’t really find myself even thinking of him all that much during the film. We got a line or two but that’s about it. It makes me wonder about the ‘WandaVision’ show and whether that title was just to throw people off, or if he is going to be in it.

I’d be really interested in seeing more of what happened during those 5 years. Maybe I just want to see more of Tony as a dad? Maybe… But to see how everyone tries to move forward. Like what does Cassie do? Did her mom and step-dad dust to? Was she alone? Did the Avengers check on her? I think Bruce mentions he spent 18 months in a Gamma Lab. I would love to see how he came to terms with Hulk. I would love to see how the Asgardian’s settled. Etc. I think there are some interesting stories there, maybe for future shows or comics or stories.

CAROL DANVERS / CAPTAIN MARVEL

I love that Carol Danvers had a small moment/lingering shot when they were looking at everyone who dusted and she saw Nick Fury. Another little nod towards a relationship without being overt and having her mention to characters how Nick Fury was a close friend. I mean that was the reason why they came out with the Captain Marvel movie before this. So the audience members who saw both would understand Carol’s role, powers, motives, and relationships before so they wouldn’t have to squeeze it all into this movie.

I also forgot that Captain Marvel was even in this movie after the last time they showed her in the beginning because I was so wrapped up in everything else, so when she showed up at the end I was genuinely surprised and excited! They really hyped her up to be the most powerful hero, but didn’t overuse her or make her OP at all. They gave everyone else their time knowing that she has the future MCU ahead of her. I think they spent a good amount of time on the original avengers as this really was their send off, knowing the rest of the characters have future films/shows to shine in. (Which kind of makes me forgive the lack of Wakanda..but still…)

The look on Thanos’ face when Carol showed up, amazing. Her exchange with Peter? Pure and beautiful. And that little *dink* when he tries to headbutt her? Pure comedy.

Thanos pulling the power stone out of the gauntlet to use against Carol was...forgive me...a power move.

THOR ODINSON & LOKI LAUFEYSON

I know a lot of people think Thor’s mental health/PTSD was just played as a joke, but I don’t think it was. I mean there have been times they tried to sweep Tony’s mental health under the rug and times where (maybe just the fandom) treated Tony as a villain for how it showed itself.

Thor didn’t want to think about it. Thor was done. He wanted to drink and forget. He didn’t want people to talk about Thanos, or Loki, or anything that happened. He made a new home for all the Asgardians and then retreated into himself. When we first see him, Bruce stops and asks Thor if he’s okay and tells him that he was in a similar dark spot as well and that Thor was the one who helped him out. It’s a sweet moment, yeah it’s sandwiched by some jokes, but it's there. As is the moment when Thor talks to his mother for the last time. Frigga gives him piece of mind. Let’s him know that she knows what her fate is, that it isn’t his fault, which is one weight off his shoulder. She lets him know that he doesn’t need to be whatever he thinks he needs to be, just to be who he is. He doesn’t need to be an Asgardian King, or whatever else his father wanted, if that's not what Thor wants. Being himself is enough to be worthy. So he fights that final fight (completely okay in the fact that Steve is worthy as well, even saying he knew it! So he must’ve knew Steve was pretending not to be able to pick it up all the way in AOU), he makes Valkyrie/Brunnhilde King/Queen of Asgard, and he goes with the Guardians, because that's where he wants to be. He’s not being who he is supposed to be, but who he is. Which seems to be someone who wants to have fun and save people who need saving. Which I think is a nice mirror to Chris Hemsworth’s relationship to playing the character. He said that he prefers the fun, comedic Thor that Taika made with Ragnarok, and doesn’t as much like playing the uber serious Thor from previous films. He even said he’d be open to more Thor movies if Taika Waititi was directing.

While I hope we see Thor in Guardians Vol.3, and his story didn’t feel as final as Steve and Tony’s did, he did come full circle. From fighting tooth and nail to be a worthy king, to finally accepting who he truly is and being comfortable with accepting that. Sort of mirroring Loki.

Speaking of Loki...His scenes in this movie were definitely more humorous than anything. I know people wanted a better end for him. I’ll be honest, I liked his end in Infinity War (though I did believe he might still be alive because he didn’t revert back to his Jotun form when he died in IW). But for all the same reasons as Thor. He started feeling tremendous envy and hate for his brother and father, felt the need to prove himself, though he took a very different route than Thor, he got to a point where he accepted who he truly was. A Jotun, and an Odinson, Thor’s brother, Prince of Asgard. So to me, yeah it would be nice to see a different ending for Loki, (if they do bring him back I feel they either can’t kill him or have to kill him for real), I’m content with his entire arc.

BRUCE BANNER / HULK

Bruce has finally come full circle as well. He started off wanting to actually kill himself because of the Hulk, but now he has found the ‘Professor Hulk’ middle ground. He even says he sees it as an ‘evolution’ (X-Men reference/hint maybe??). After Ragnarok and Infinity War, something during those five years lead both Hulk and Bruce to accept each other. Just imagine how happy Hulk was when those kids came up asking for a photo. It’s no longer “Earth hates Hulk”. Hulk is a hero, he has fans! Young kids who aren’t scared. Bruce doesn’t have to be scared of running rampant and out of control and hurting innocent people. He doesn’t need to be locked in a cage. He can be completely who he is without holding back.

Bruce admitting that he tried to bring back Natasha with his Snap…oof.

NATASHA ROMANOFF / NATALIE RUSHMAN/ BLACK WIDOW & CLINT BARTON / HAWKEYE / RONIN

I actually really liked the beginning and how they handled Hawkeye’s story. Him helping Lila with her Archery and her walking out of frame, then when it cuts back to where she should’ve been only some dust particles in the air? Amazing, show not tell. We didn’t need to actively see Clint’s family dust away (honestly it makes it sadder that he didn’t see it either, didn’t know what happened, they were just gone). And we didn’t need a scene of him talking about it. We just got into it. The Ronin story isn’t my favorite but I’m glad too much time wasn’t spent on it and only the parts that mattered were addressed. That his family is gone and he’s angry. Natasha still cares about him deeply and has been looking for him.

Also..who puts mayo on a hot dog?

Natasha and Clint’s relationship is one that I really like. It’s this pure friendship and salvation from the beginning. Clint was the one who made the call to not kill her, but rather show her a different path. In Endgame, Natasha does the exact same for Clint. She takes him from being a ruthless assassin, angry at the world, to fighting for the good guys again. They are family. She is Aunt Nat to his kids, friends with his wife. She knows about his family and ‘secret’ life when no other Avengers did. It’s because of him (and Nick Fury) that she has a family not only in them, but the rest of the Avengers. But it just makes stories like Infinity War/Endgame and Civil War sadder for her because, almost all the other Avengers have a life outside of the team, and have families to go to, but not her. So when they break up, and aren’t talking, she is left alone. No wonder she stays at the compound. When Rhodey is telling her about Clint and she starts crying, it’s so sad, because he was her family and he just left.

Natasha and Clint literally fighting over who gets to sacrifice themself? Big oof. Natasha really makes me like Clint’s character in the films. And as much as I love the “refund theory” of Steve returning the soul stone to Vormir and getting Natasha back, and I would love a better send off (like with Thor) I think her story has really come full circle.

One of the biggest themes I noticed in her arc throughout the films is choice. When she was in the Red Room, she had no choice but to do what she was told, because of what happened there she doesn’t get the choice of having children or not. In Winter Soldier she felt like she felt like the choice of fighting for the ‘good’ guys was an illusion. Etc. But here is the biggest choice she can make, and she decided that she’d rather die so everyone else, everyone she cares about, can have a chance. She wasn’t going to let someone else make that choice for her. She did it despite Clint’s protest. She finally found something, someone she chose to die for. And the imagery of her on the ground not only mirrors her position in Tony’s vision from AOU, but the pool of blood draining from her is almost literally her getting the red out of her ledger like she mentions she wants to do in Avengers. “I’ve got red on my ledger. Now I need to wipe it out.” She has finally atoned for all the bad she has done.

I know she didn’t get a funeral scene or a big send off, but I think that was as to not overshadow or take away from Tony’s. Which is sad. Maybe we will get a better send off in a different film or show. We did get those lines from Clint and Wanda about hoping she knew that they did it, that her sacrifice wasn’t for nothing. Which is small, but it is the person who cared about her the most.

Also...did no one tell Clint and Natasha that they would need to sacrifice someone to get the stone? Surely Nebula knew...

STEVEN ROGERS / CAPTAIN AMERICA

“I can do this all day.” “Yeah, I know.” Even Steve is tired of himself.

Scott: “That’s America’s Ass.”

Steve, later, looking at his own ass on a past version of himself: “That is America’s Ass.”

My mind immediately when we heard Sam’s voice over Steve’s comm: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uB1D9wWxd2w

Also on that note... I absolutely love that Sam was the one that Steve choose to carry on Captain America’s legacy. In the comics both Sam and Bucky take up the mantle and I was sincerely hoping Bucky wouldn’t in the films. At least not at first. Bucky has so much interesting story to explore from when he was the Winter Soldier and still has so much healing to do from not only that time, but everything he was thrust back into when he was still settling in Wakanda..and being dusted. In the films, Sam is perfect to be the Captain America of modern times. He knows how the modern world works, he’s been in the military, dealt with war (both earthly threats and extra terrestrial), and I feel he’s emotionally/mentally stable enough for it. Hell he ran a veteran support group which inspired Steve to run a support group for survivors during the five years after the snap. Also, I don’t think I need to get into why having a Black/African-American Captain America in these times is amazing. I would love to see him in a movie, but if we get a live action show on the Disney+ streaming service, I think that would be great.

When they showed someone sitting on the bench, I was like okay that’s Steve. But how skinny and small he looked I thought it was going to be Pre-Serum Steve...but no, we got old man Steve. Which surprised me, it shouldn’t have but it did, because when he left and they couldn’t bring him back I leaned over to my sister and said “he stayed in the ‘40s”. But I had like 1000 thoughts running through my head every second of this movie. (except when the theater fell silent when Tony...ya know) It sorta reminded me of Logan for a hot second...

I’ve seen some people say, "It's not in character for Steve to live a life and not fight".

Every single movie has been building to Steve getting more and more tired of fighting. First he sacrifices himself for everyone else. Then he is woken up to fight in a war, and a world, he barely knows anything about, and starts seeing that privacy and freedom might not mean the same things they use to. That the governments meant to protect the people have even more secrets and lies, and are becoming more violent and ruthless. His whole vision sequence (and basically entire arc) in AOU was about how he needs war and to fight but how he doesn’t want that to be the case. He wants to go home. He wants the 40s. He wants Peggy. He wanted Bucky. He wants a family and a life. It hints that sometimes he may feel he doesn’t deserve it, or that the time for that has passed.

He didn't leave Bucky behind, Bucky knew full well what was happening and didn't seem too bothered. He knew and was happy that Steve had this chance. He loves him and wouldn't keep him from that. More than likely Bucky sees a future for himself as well, just not in the 40s. Bucky could have went back with him if he wanted to. But he didn't. Sam even offers to go back with Steve, Bucky standing right there and Steve says it's okay. Bucky doesn't protest. Bucky is smiling. Plus we don't know exactly what happened. Maybe Steve would have still fought here and there, maybe he did help that timeline/universe Bucky. He did still have the shield with him. Or maybe he was a house husband/dad while Peggy worked. Whatever he did he was clearly happy and content with all his choices and no one protested.

I actually really love this ending for Steve. He finally gets to rest. He finally gets the woman he loves. He can be content knowing the world is safe and that there are others willing to protect it. From the skinny, sick, kid who was always searching for a fight and felt he was (or had to be) alone in the world. He found a family, his love, a life.

TONY STARK / IRON MAN

I really love that for the scene in the 70s they used James D’Arcy to play Edwin Jarvis. He played Jarvis in the Agent Carter show, and I think most people who watch any of the shows know that the shows are payed dirt in the MCU movies. So as someone who loved that show, loved the characters and actors, seeing that was great! It intertwines the show more closely to the films, and it was nice for Tony to see the other man who raised him even for a second. Yeah it would’ve been nice to see Paul Bettany, but I feel he is more connected to J.A.R.V.I.S Tony’s A.I rather than the actual person of Jarvis.

I love that Tony gets a reunion/closure with his father (similar to Thor’s with his mother). Before his own untimely death, he gets to talk with his father and really see things through his eyes and learn what his mind set truly was. Now that he’s a father himself he understands a bit more the struggles Howard had, he knows Howards own self doubts. That despite everything Howard cared, and that Howard’s own father was cruel to him. And they get to share that last hug and is able to thank him! Just like he wanted to in Civil War. He gets to say I love you, and thank you for everything.

Peter says he “got all dusty. Then [he] must’ve passed out”. So like...no time passed for those who got dusted in the snap...

I was sorta hoping Tony would wield Mjolnir as well, but he didn’t :/ but it’s fine. He doesn’t need it. He wields the Gauntlet/Infinity Stones.

Something Kevin Smith brought up that I hadn’t really thought of was that Tony was completely set. While he definitely had regrets and felt guilty, he had a good life in front of him. He 100% could have just lived the rest of his natural born days out with his family and been as happy as he could have been. But seeing that picture of Peter, and knowing all that was lost, feeling guilty, and just being the self-sacrificial man he is, risked it all for everyone else. Knowing it could go wrong, he still did it.

Tony’s scene towards the beginning was the first time I almost cried. After he gets rescued, and they are talking in the compound. He is so skinny and in a wheelchair and hooked up to the IV. Cap starts talking, like he always does, and Tony just is not here for it. This is exactly what he said was going to happen, this was the culmination of all the PTSD and anxiety he has had for 8 years. It happened, he was right. No one wanted to listen to him. People gave him so much shit for Ultron and the Accords and literally everything that he has ever done, and this happens and he (pardon my language) snapped on Steve. It was heartbreaking. Because he tried so hard to prevent it. Steve told him they would lose together but he was alone. He watched the kid he cared about disappear in his arms, had no idea who else he cared about who could’ve done the same, and he was alone in space (well Nebula was there, but..he didn’t know her really, they were forced to get to know each other. Remember she showed up when they were already battling Thanos). He was suffering, believing he was going to die. No oxygen, no food, no water…and when he gets back Steve just wants to jump back in, and get information out of him? No. He has had enough. Steve lied. Sure maybe he didn’t mean to, but he said they would work together and then Civil War happened. He made a decision in that movie to be on the opposite side of Tony. I’m not saying that Steve wasn’t justified in his actions in Age of Ultron, or Civil War or anything after, but just that from Tony’s perspective, Steve was continuously putting other people and things in front of him. He probably thought that Steve would make an effort if they were truly friends, and if he truly cared Steve would’ve done more to salvage their friendship but didn’t. I have a whole thing with Steve and how he acted but I just know Tony was hurt, and one person he thought he could turn to, wasn’t there. And the line he closes out his rant with? “No trust, liar.” That hit like a ton of bricks.

When Tony asks Dr.Strange if this was the one they won, Strange says he can’t tell him or it won’t happen. But later Tony looks at him and holds up one finger, telling him this is the one. He told him because he knows that Tony already knows and has come to terms with what has to happen. Tony knows he has to get the stones and Snap Thanos away, knowing that it could kill him. So Dr.Strange just affirmed it for him. If he would’ve told him earlier, than Tony might’ve thought of a different plan, or thought he could make it out, maybe he would’ve gotten excited and cocky. That also means that from the moment Strange looked into the future in IW he knew Tony was going to die. Yeah he knew Thanos needed the time stone because the Snap needed to happen in the first place for them to reverse it, but he also knew Tony was going to make this sacrifice, and couldn’t die just yet. I always thought that Tony was the key after Infinity War, but now it explains why Dr. Strange’s demeanor changes after that.

I almost cried a lot during this film but I actually cried during Tony’s death and funeral scene. Bookending the entire saga with “I am Iron Man”. How Rhodey goes up to him, then Peter (Tom Holland never fails to make me cry when he’s playing Peter), mirroring the last moments in Infinity War, “We won. We did it Mr.Stark”. Then Pepper goes up to him, and has to look at him and he seems almost...catatonic. He isn’t responding, just staring at each of them. Pepper has to watch her love, her husband, the father of her child, die. But she still reassures and comforts him, telling him he can rest now… and i’m about to cry just writing this omg… Then the light of the arc reactor blinks out and you know for real that he’s gone. Tony leaves a message for them knowing his fate, book ending the film from the message he was leaving at the beginning of the movie, to the message he’s leaving for them now. He loves Morgan 3000. Just knowing over the years, Morgan and Pepper will go back and watch this message. Morgan will grow up knowing her father saved the universe with his own hands. They will probably have suits and old tech around that she will be able to look at and play with and tinker with (because you cannot convince me Tony Stark’s daughter won’t be as much of a tinkerer as him). The “Proof Tony Stark Has A Heart” display is sent adrift in the lake outside their home, Little Morgan sitting with her mom. And every person who Tony has come to know and love is watching. Millions more probably mourning all over the world (and in our universe as well). Tony started as an arrogant, genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, rich kid with more brains then he could handle, and become the self sacrificial saviour of the universe. He’s been through the worst things, kidnapped, tortured, betrayed, watched people die in front of his eyes, get hurt because of him, etc. But always was looking for a way to make things better for everyone else. He is 100% the heart of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Robert Downey Jr. is the heart of the MCU. Him and Jon Favreau and Kevin Feige took a chance on a movie that was guaranteed to do the best in 2008, improvised through a film with little to no script and built an empire. Robert is Tony Stark in sooo many ways other than both having rich and famous dads. Tortured, and regretful pasts that they rose above. I cannot sing the praises of this character or this man more. So I will end it here. It will sad to go forward without the character, but we really won’t be. Tony and Robert are cemented in every Marvel film and every film to come.

Thank you to all the creators, crew, directors, writers and actors. Robert Downey Jr., Kevin Feige, Jon Favreau, Stan Lee, Joe Simon, Jack Kirby, Steve Ditko, etc. <3 Thank you!

#avengers #avengers endgame #spoilers #endgame spoilers #marvel #tony stark #iron man #captain america #steve rogers #natasha romanoff #thoughts #personal #opinion #avengers spoilers

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eerythingisshaka · 6 years ago

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I made this post on Monday, and just now got around to edit and post

I’m basically going through the whole plot of Endgame and how I felt, I just had to hammer it out. If you haven’t seen it yet, please come back when you have! First things first, I did not cry! I feel like I’m in the minority, and I swear I am a devoted MCU fan and love Tony and Cap and them, but I did not cry and I’m so disappointed with myself! I got more emotional thinking about it in the days leading to the premiere than I did while viewing. I think it was too entertaining for me to find it sad? Not like movies I cry at aren’t entertaining but the action and substance was making my nerd heart pitter patter so much, I was over the moon and couldn’t come down. I will say though, ever since watching Endgame, every past Marvel movie makes me somewhat emotional. This whole thing is like a high school graduation, like I’m never gonna see my friends together again like this, an era is over! All I have are memories, aaaaggghhhh!

That being said. the movie grips me from the beginning with the song Dear Mr. Fantasy by Traffic. Marvel has some pretty good picks for songs to set the tone for their movies, to this day this song kinda pulls at my heart strings because of its message

Dear Mr. Fantasy play us a tune

Something to make us all happy

Do anything, take us out of this gloom

So of course, we all felt this way with the ending of Infinity War, having so many of our faves being sacrificed to dust for Thanos’ plan of rectifying what he saw as the decrepit state of the universe. Walking away from part one with the villain winning was a fresh slap to my face and a year of agony to find out how the heroes pull this off in the end. Take us out of our gloom Marvel!

And the characters must feel the same, as the film opens with Clint and his daughter doing some archery in their yard as a very American lunch of mayo and mustard hot dogs are being served. As his daughter Lilah is putting things away, Clint calls out to her only to see dust and turns again to his family with the same result. So much for freedom from our gloom, right? In case you somehow forgot, this little scene gives us a friendly reminder of what we were left with in 2018. If that’s not enough, Nebula and Tony playing the little hand goal, paper flick game that is just darling to witness. Nebula plays like a rehabilitated puppy still unsure about being around humans as Tony instructs her like a child on every development of the game. Her little perk up when he announces her win is so cute as they shake hands, finally sealing her character development from ruthless, blood-thirsty appeaser of a sadistic father, to a more stoic, regretful soft spoken but hoarse matured version of herself. All the while, Tony is beginning to starve from being malnourished and depleting oxygen. Nebula sets him in a piloting chair as he drifts off, losing consciousness until the homie we have all assumed would be coming appears as a glow in his irises, Carol Danvers aka Captain Marvel.

Carol flies the ship back to Tony’s compound where Cap, Rhodey, Natasha, and Pepper wait for him to descend. We get a moment with him and Cap that is sweet as Cap walks him down, Tony tells him he lost Peter Parker, an obviously huge loss for this to be the first thing he mentions. The warmth is lost quickly though as the next step of Tony’s grief comes afoot: anger and finger pointing. Tony, on an IV and all, is relentless as he festers in bitterness while lashing out at Cap and company that the fight was lost and even encouraged by Cap because they were together. This optimism is obviously not enough for Tony, who grows weary of Cap’s positivity, opting that he finish the work alone or that Danvers takes on the task herself before collapsing from exhaustion.

Carol, Thor and the gang have a slight dick measuring contest on kicking Thanos’ ass once and for all before Nebula offers to take them straight to him. And where is he? Why on a farm on a planet in the galaxy, nursing his wounds from the snap. His entire right side is burned to a crisp due to the snap, and at the same time has obliterated the stones much to their dismay. Thor wastes no time in chopping off Thanos’ head, a little too late but satisfying none the less. However, in the end, the stones are nowhere to be found, the last person to have them is dead, and no one from the snaps is back yet. Cue music!

So, the gloom we are supposed to be rescued from, when does that start right? Not for another five years according to a time lapse card. Our heroes have no means of figuring out the solution to the snap; Cap forms a support group for survivor’s, Natasha has grown out her blonde hair and is constantly checking in on happenings around the world, and universe since the snap, jumping at even the mention of an earthquake. Rhodey briefs her on a terrible killing spree of gang members that appear to have a style that is well known to them as Clint Barton’s aka Hawkeye. Despite Rhodey’s hesitance Natasha insists he keeps an eye on him, inferring that she may track him down eventually. (Quick side note here, something to be seen as a possible plot flaw: Hawkeye’s bloodlust and disregard for lives after losing his whole family in the snap isn’t dug into very deeply after this. Rhodey said it’s so bad he didn’t even wanna find him! But there wasn’t any in fighting or push back after that between them. He has one instance of almost interacting with his family on a test run for time travel which is against the rules, but other than that he isn’t killing people recklessly or even triggered to tears or drinking incessantly over his loss. But more on Thor in a minute).

If it hadn’t been for that rat running across the panel in Scott Lang’s van to activate his return from the Quantum realm who knows how long, if ever, would they figure out the means of traveling back to get the stones. I was so glad I watched Antman and Wasp right before seeing Endgame, so I knew the van, Cassie, and a little bit about the Quantum Realm. I’m actually upset that I didn’t realize the realm could be used for their benefit because I was always betting on the Time Stone being the corrector in all this, but anyway. Scott returns highly confused as he realizes the state of the world since his entrapment in the realm. Seeing his baby girl become a young lady was a powerful scene to witness, and had my heart dent a little bit, but I held it together. Soon after that, Scott makes his way to find Cap and Natasha, explaining how 5 years was really five hours for him, so time is different in the realm which could possibly mean something for them getting the dusted back. At one point in the movie, I’m blanking on which comes first but for now I’ll dive into this bit, we are reintroduced to Bruce Banner as Hulk…as one person. I completely forgot that we didn’t see Bruce in trailers, which is for this reason. Comic book followers would know, but there is a iteration of Bruce Banner becoming Professor Hulk, so he functions as his normal scientist self, while also being a big green being. Oddly enough, it does not take long for me to grow accustomed to The Bruce Hulk hybrid, he is hilarious and sweet and more confident even then he was as a regular man despite his appearance. He has fans, people love him and this is a far cry from when we are introduced to him in the original Avengers as Nat tracks him down somewhere in Southeast Asia, a nervous wreck loner who is quick to anger. I could see this Hulk being fanfic fodder, not my cup of tea, but he was just that damn appealing, I could see it.

But even with Bruce’s brain, time travel isn’t exactly hammered down as an absolute possibility so they reach out to another source on the matter. Which brings me to my love/hate relationship with Tony. I ADORE that he finally had a baby with Pepper, Morgan “Cussin Queen” Stark. Tony is living his best life in the natural air in his log cabin, as off grid as he possibly can be before Black Widow, Cap, and Lang pull up to question the possibilities ahead of them. The strength of his cold shoulder gave me an insatiable chill down my spine. Tony is the King of Petty, but rarely passive so I was surprised by that moment of mean girl attitude from him. But luckily he served up something to drink (I’m thinking it’s iced coffee or chocolate milk. I’m still confused by what that held.) Tony basically tells them they are crazy and hoping for nothing, because he’s good where he is. He has his girls and no stress which is honestly what the Avengers always seem to guarantee for him since joining the group with SHIELD under Nick Fury’s insistence years ago. I do wish I could remember the theories and scientific laws he said would be fucked up with their plan, just to see if they are real ones but also I love when Tony just spouts his knowledge like it’s IKEA instructions. He makes it seem so simple until you have to break it down, and up until this point Scott seemed like the smartest one on the team but really Tony could’ve been figured this out if he wasn’t so granola now, which is great and happy for him, but he really did give up very quickly. Once again, probably good reason, self-care. But still.

Gotta say, I love a selfish Tony though. Quick shoutout to Robert Downey Jr. in showing his chops by bringing the emotional fortitude to this Disney movie. The man has been THROUGH IT and has had enough. Tony only has so much optimism in him that the cheerleading squad can provide before his is completely done and baby was DONE.

But without Tony’s help they test run moving through the quantum realm only to discover what Tony says later, that time kept moving though Scott instead of him moving through time, making him a baby, and old man, a kid again, and back to an adult. But with a fancy time GPS Tony doctor’s up on the fly after discovering that the group isn’t crazy about the time travel being an option, they are good to go like it’s day one! (Another side note to Paul Rudd aka Scott Lang giving us much needed comic relief. I have never laughed so hard at my precious baby trying to eat a taco in my life. Also, Cap’s yeehaw attire in this scene? The checkered white shirt with his dark jeans pulled up? Truly save the horse and ride the cowboy instead man.)

Now at this point we have to check in on Thor, our sweet pirate angel. How has he fared? Him, Valkyrie, and the surviving Asgardians establish their own town on Earth. Thor and Rocket go to find him, with a preview from Valkyrie of what Thor’s mental state is by the piles of beer kegs outside. So, when they enter his home, giving a wave to Korg and Miek playing video games on the couch, Thor tumbles out behind Thor and Rocket reaching for another cold on, camera to his back. By now we can see his hair is overgrown and greasy, and his midsection has a new pair of love handles we aren’t used to seeing on our svelte, brutish god of thunder. So when he turns around, audience erupts in the theaters, as do I, to see him now looking like a melted ice cream cone with a beer belly that somehow still has some toned abs on top if you look closely, paired with some man titties to complete all billowing over his pajama pants to complete his depression ensemble. This was more shocking to me than the Hulk/Banner hybrid reveal. We hadn’t seen an image of Thor outside of him giving Carol Danvers the Stormbreaker scare test in the previews, so thanks for another surprise. Despite his crumbling emotional stability at even the mention of Thanos’ name (tip of the hat to Chris Hemsworth for making my heartache with every crack in his voice), I have to get on my soapbox and say Thor’s body is beautiful! He is a supreme King, deliciously made who can still smash any pair of cheeks to ash and dust with the power Mjolnir in each thrust quicker than any counterfeit gauntlet. Just watch him later on, you’ll see! I’d have that belly slapping on top of me in a quantum realm millisecond after he takes a shower and attends therapy. A lil pudge ain’t killed no part of his power, whew. Don’t make me shout.

Back to plot, with the promise of beer, Thor the Dude tags along to start the plan of going back to retrieve infinity stones. After a synopsis of each one and where they were located, the crew drums up the plan to retrieve each stone from the past, bring them back to the future to put into a new gauntlet and snap the other half of life’s creatures back. This part of the movie is so stellar because if you have watched past Marvel movies (the first Avengers, Gaurdians of the Galaxy, Captain America First Avenger, and Thor Dark World) you will recognize the scenes that are featured with their past selves going through their past-current scenes. Natasha and Clint go to Vormir for the Soul stone, which I am surprised Nebula did not warn them that someone would have to die to retrieve it. What if two characters that didn’t love each other went for the Soul stone, is it over and done? But luckily, or unluckily, Clint and Natasha are able to get the stone with a sacrifice of Natasha’s life (who honestly sacrificed herself but it counted. And I need so much more clarity on the specs of the soul stone, it ain’t even funny. Will we ever see what the realm Gamora and Black Widow are in is like?) These two characters have been last on my list always so the scene was crazy watching them battle back and forth for a chance at ending their lives but the end result didn’t hit my heart but still great. I kinda would’ve wished little Gamora was there again to talk to us.

Then Hulk has to go see Ancient One to retrieve the time stone, which she will not relinquish until Hulk says that Strange gave it up willingly. On his word alone, she gives it to him, sensing the imminent danger that could come that is worse than the alternate reality she faces for not having the time stone with her. Then Rhodey and Nebula go to Morag for the Power Stone. So this is the first sign of overall trouble in their plan because apparently having two Nebula’s mix memory frequencies that reveal the whole entire plan to Thanos. I thought for sure at some point that Nebula’s eye was gonna have to be dug out to ensure the completion of the mission but it winds up that Nebula and Gamora take her hostage before past Nebula takes current Nebula’s place with the crew going back with their stones, none the wiser. Not even Rhodey gives her a check in like “why did you not come back with me when I jetted back to the future? what happened?” Nothing! The death of Natasha kind of takes precedent over anything else and leave Nebula to finish off bringing Thanos back with her to wreak havoc.

Lastly, Cap, Tony, and Scott are in New York circa Avengers number 1, fighting the space aliens and keeping Loki from the tesseract. And I am not exaggerating when I say this part of movie is possibly the greatest cinematic feature I have ever seen, or will ever see my natural life. You have Tony, creeping in the shadows to get Antman ready to help retrieve the tesseract, all the while admiring Cap’s ass! He does it, critiquing that his outfit does nothing for his ass, when we all know nothing holds back them cheeks from making an appearance. Scott, ever the voice of standom, downplays Tony’s critique and coins his rear end as “America’s Ass”. I EXPLODED. Ever since Captain America: the First Avenger, I have pined, no, thirsted, nay, LUSTED for that man in Marvel cinema. He has the BAWDY to be Cap, and never slacks. I have also always been a big fan of Tony and Cap having a torrid love affair that Marvel refused to implement but teases anytime they stare deeply into each other’s eyes or argue feistily until they are nose to nose, just get a room you two! Ten points to Gryffindor for feeding the fans what they want!

So, New York is the only place that doesn’t go smoothly, as Cap retrieves the scepter containing the Mind Stone after a quick “Hail Hydra” to throw off the double agent SHIELD opponents from Winter Soldier. All this time, Tony and Scott lose the tesseract in a freak incident that causes the case to fall into Loki’s vicinity, who picks up the cube and disappears to God knows where. And it is never figured out where past Loki goes, or what timeline he creates for himself now that he has the tesseract at his disposal with no one to oppose him. That is another thing I would love to know, all these alternate realities that have been constructed due to them tinkering with time, what happens? What damage is done to the Ancient One without time? What does Loki do with space? How is Jane and Asgard without the reality stone ravaging her? (Rocket got it btw as Thor got caught up talking to his mother, which was a very sweet scene and really amplified her character for me to love her more than I already had). But at least Cap got the scepter until he is met with his past Cap, leading to my most favorite fight scene in the MCU. Something about those two classic suits running at each other with the cacophony of the shields, and current Cap saying some choice expletives now and getting tired of the bullshit while past Cap still has all that giddy up and pure heart and “I can do this all day” attitude is an exceptional treat to be had. I love Cap’s development, as much as he has stayed the same, he has changed, grown more into his age even, getting weary with the world but never losing his positive outlook, just shifting his focus gradually. But to correct the tesseract blunder, Tony and Cap go back to 1970 to get the original tesseract from SHIELD in its infancy. Both Tony and Cap have a soft moment. Tony see’s his father who talks to him about his expecting wife (aka baby Tony) and Cap sees Peggy again in her youthful glory, panging our heartstrings. But in the end, the supplies are collected and they move on.

So after they get the stones, they construct the gauntlet out of Tony’s suit Iron man material and it is decided that Hulk must do the snap since gamma radiation is part of the stones and so is he. It is not a simple easy thing as he writhes in pain and burns under the pressure of power but does the snap anyway and successfully brings back half the world. This win is shortlived once Thanos bombards the compound and sends Nebula off to retrieve the stones. This is the start of the longest game of flag football/hot potato/rugby adjacent. Hawkeye has the gauntlet at first as everyone tries to pull themselves from the rubble (side note: seeing Rocket so distressed shook me. He is usually so cool and wily, getting out of so much bullshit that his helplessness when he couldn’t breathe almost sent me over).

So since they retrieved the stones, it’s not like they change their past, just create alternate realities. Once they return them, things go back to normal again. So Hulk uses the gauntlet to bring back the rest of the population again, we just don’t see them yet until later. Past Nebula gets killed by current Nebula after Gamora helps current Nebula out to stop Thanos because as we know from Infinity War, Gamora never wanted Thanos to find them all. Thor, Cap, and Tony all team up to spar with Thanos who was waiting patiently for the gauntlet to be brought to him. Much to my dismay, the fight is very even, no side truly overpowers the other. Thor really wants to put in work, but can’t quite get through until Cap does what I have been waiting for since Ultron: HE PICKS UP MJOLNIR! (which Thor took back from Asgard in his time travel). Wheew, I coulda passed out when I saw Cap wielding that thing like it’s his the star spangled banner itself, sending lightning down on Thanos, busting him upside his head and all! I was spent and feeling aftershocks until Thanos gets the upperhand again and bombards his shield with that weak ass helicopter blade sword thing. It breaks the shield up! Which is made of vibranium! THE STRONGEST METAL IN THE UNIVERSE! This how I know Russo’s were just grasping at straws; the only thing I can say is since Tony made him that one after the snap, he probably used bootleg vibranium because obviously nobody called Wakanda for input on a damn thing to make this mission happen which is a rant I can say on a completely separate post. Sure, take T’Challa and Shuri in the snap, it’s not like the whole country isn’t composed of melanated geniuses that could give y’all a lesson on quantum physics that would make your central nervous system dry out. No, don’t call Wakanda to make vibranium anything for y’all to help in the fight, it’s cool cuz y’all didn’t try and clean up anything after shit hit the fan! I wanted a 10 minute Wakanda clean up scene: I got DUST. The underutilization of such a great people while at the same time using them frivilously is a *blink blink* mindfuck. But I digress again!

Once Cap seems to be against the wall, he tightens his shield band around his arm and says slap me bitch. But before it continues, Sam gives him a quick “on your left” signaling the return of everyone, with first none other than our Wakandan royalty: T’Challa, Okoye, and Shuri. Dr. Strange’s portals open up as populations come to join the fight from Gaurdians and Asgard, Wakanda and other Marvel movies. The fight scene that begins I can’t wait to own at home becuase I know I have to pause and slow motion to capture everything. Someone said Howard the Duck is in the fight which I HAVE to see. Can you imagine getting your ass impaled by a cartoon space duck?

The game of keep the gauntlet from Thanos continues as Spiderman, T’Challa, and others all have a go at running the guantlet away from Thanos. This is a part that I kind of have to think to remember. I know that Antman and Wasp had to spark up the quantum realm van and I think the plan was to send the gauntlet into it, but I’m not sure. Eventually Tony is alerted by Strange that the one in 14 million chance at winning is upon them and Tony goes ham to get the gauntlet from Thanos, who nearly succeeds but Tony yeets them off the glove and onto his suit, proclaiming himself as Iron Man one last time before snapping the bad half of the population into obliteration. All the bad aliens and Thanos dust away, leaving the original population the watch them float away. However Tony’s sacrifice is his life as he dies after goodbyes from Peter, Pepper and Rhodey.

The funeral occurs with everyone there, even the kid from Iron Man 3. This is a really emotional scene, especially seeing Tony left a last message in case of his demise, ending it with telling Morgan “I Said What I Said” Stark that he loves her 3000. Once again, I almost got choked up there, but it just wouldn’t happen. One thing that took me out were Wakanda’s outfits at the funeral. All black everything, but the fit and the make of Okoye and Shuri’s dresses? With the gold accessories???? I can’t mourn when all that beauty is in my face!

And in the end, Cap goes back in time to send the stones back to where they belong but stays in the past to reunite with Peggy, finally bust her open and returns as an old man to give his shield to Falcon and that is it!

I almost got choked up just now thinking about that last scene but I still didn’t cry. A tear came down when the end credits showed the actors pictures and their signatures of the original Avengers though. There will never be a better Cap or Iron Man bruh, taking that to my grave.

I’ve been in this MCU life for just about the whole length of it; watching these amazing superhero action flicks for the fun of it before recognizing the structure of each film forming towards an ending so grand. “You see where you’re going? Now let’s focus on how you get there.” This is a statement that is about to be my mantra for life! This is a huge project for a studio to put together properly, having all of our superheroes in one place, sewn together with the journey of the infinity stones to take out the big purple meanie Thanos who is hellbent on controlling the universe the easy way (50% of all living creatures annihilated) or the hard way (100% gone, starting from scratch).

But Marvel has given me so much great entertainment to look forward to. Ever since I graduated high school, it’s been the May or November of each year, what’s Marvel putting out next? And it’s gonna be tough not expecting an Avengers film anymore, but I’ll be here for the new build up of superheroes, supporting Black Panther still of course as well. I will miss the Cap thirst, wardrobe really did their part in this one with the Black sweater, the grey Henley, the yeehaw outfit previously mentioned and EVERY CAP UNIFORM HE HAS WORN! I love this fucking fandom.

And now I just wonder where past Gamora went, because she came to the present and “present” Gamora died at Vormir so we have a Gamora alive now but she went MIA, or did she get snapped back when Tony snapped all the henchmen back? Thor at the end joins the GOTG or Asgardians of the Galaxy, so I can’t wait to see how they fair in I assume GOTG 3. How will Falcon do as the new Cap? What does Bucky do now?? He was the original ride or die for Cap until he became Winter Soldier, but Cap was very forgiving of him in all that. Yet, his closure seems open for anything, he got no special stuff in the end so maybe more for him? How is Spiderman and the whole teenage snap population going back to school when it is five years in the future but they are the same age? Where did Valkyrie keep her Pegasus this entire time? When Cap went back to Vormir, what was his reunion with Red Skull like? And what did Thanos do with the stones before they were destroyed? They said he used them again and that’s how they found him at the beginning but on what? Answer these questions for me please!

If you made it this far, I love ya 3000 and I owe you cheeseburgers (oh God TONY!!!)

#avenger #avengers spoilers #avengers endgame #endgame spoilers #marvel

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michalwu · 6 years ago

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Best of 2018 in TV

Another year passed and again I watched a lot of good quality tv. I think that although again it was very hard to choose my top 10 this year was a little bit less intense than previous. Still I had to do a short list of places 20-11 because I couldn’t resist not to mention a few more productions. That said remember I’m not a critic. I watch thinks I like not because I have to and this list is totally subjective though I tried to be fair. I watched over 50 series from 2018 and that’s the results:

20-11 (in random order)

The Affair (season 4), Atlanta (season 2), Homecoming, ACS: The Assassination of Gianni Versace, Killing Eve, One Day at the Time (season 2), Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events, Maniac (season 2), Legion (season 2), AHS: Apocalypse.

10. Anne with and E (season 2)

I never was a huge fan of the book as a kid but I read it as mandatory lecture in primary school. But I am a huge fan of this series. Beautiful placement of the plot plus very talented young cast with leading Amybeth. The best part of the story for me always was the dynamics of Anna's relationship with her adopted parents.

9. Patrick Melrose

What an absolutely outstanding trio of actors: Benedict Cumberbatch, Hugo Weaving and Jennifer Jason Leigh. Plus another young talent this year Seabstian Maltz who as a young Patrick is giving one of the most dramatic performence of the year. Creators did justice to the novel.

8. The Deuce (season 2)

This was one of the most enjoyable series this year. I love the period it shows and since the first season I started to develop a sympathy for all those characters especially for Candy. Too bad the series seems to be forgotten this year by critics. In my opion it came back in a lot better shape than last year. It’s funnier, it’s faster and the whole fuss around making porno adaptation of Red Riding Hood is just captivating.

7. Sharp Objects

Another great limited series and another proof of my love to the craftsmanship of brilliant Jean-Marc Vallée. The story from book was kinda predictable and tacky. But thanks to the director who is an expert of showing emotions and dilemmas from the past plus the cast of three great actresses made it into phenomenal work. I am really looking forward to see more projects from cooperation of Mr. Vallee and HBO because so far it brings only true treasures.

6. Barry

I was always a fan of Bill Harder on SNL and his (usually) small roles in comedies. So then I found out that he’s making his own show I kept my fingers crossed for the success. And the results are better than expected. Barry is a great combination of drama and comedy. It sound like things we see lately very often but Barry is the best mix of two this year (not to mention animated series). Why? Because drama is real (he’s a seriall killer with many very hard moral choices to make) and the comedy provided (mostly) by Henry Winkler is just a poor gold. Well done.

5. The Haunting of Hill House

I’m not a big horror enthusiast but I do have a soft spot for those stories in classical form. And what’s more classic than beautiful, old, and huge haunted house. I fell in love with this series and it’s so much better than the previous movies. This one is actually very far from the original story written by Shirley Jackson but it capture the atmosphere the best. Separation of episode focusing on different from five siblings was a great idea. From non-believer to the most affected of the kids the story became more and more intense and scary. I honestly was scared almost the whole time. Still I tried to play with creators and watch for all the hidden ghosts in the background. The secret of Bent Neck Lady was haunting me for a while and even after finishing the series it all stayed with me in my mind. This was my favorite new series of the year. I’d love to see it again in other form, maybe as anthology like AHS. With this cast yes please!

4. GLOW (season 2)

It��s so nice today that we can get such a smahing tv show this such a huge female cast. I love this series and those Gorgeous Ladies Of Wrestling since season 1. I always enjoy it when show or movie takes me to another peroid of time and GLOW blend us into into that reality of 80 like nothing else. We had so many exctiting things this season with Debbie becoming single mother after divorce, Sam Silvia trying himself as a father and the whole team becoiming more and more like a crazy family (recording of intro in the mall was amazing). In real life I’m not really intrested in wrestling (like at all) and though it probably differs a lot than reality I loved those duels bethween characters. Episode Mother of All Matches is one of the best in 2018.

3. BoJack Horseman (season 5)

Oh how I love this show and this character. And before anyone judge me I don’t love BoJack for being a walking disaster and misery. I love this character and many other on the show for the incredibly smart writing. He is a alcoholic, narcissus and washed-out tv star and that who he is. Just like Priness Caroline is an ambitious woman who will give up many things for career even if she know it won’t give her happines in the end. But that’s the greatest thing about this show and creators that they won’t change those characters and put them in unexpected positions just to get the wow factor from the viewers. They still find a way to present those persons in fresh and captivating way but making it “in” the nature of the character. And that’s the fift season so congrats! And still we can count on them to give us some real gems like episode Free Churro which is a masterpiece of writing. The thing is this season of BoJack doesn’t stand out in specific way from other but it gives us the thing it always did and never disappoints - crazy rollercoaster ride.

2. Mozart in the Jungle (season 4)

When I said at the beginning that this list is totally subjective I meant it inter alia because of this series. Mozart IS my favorite tv series. I don’t know if the best but it always gave me the most joy when watching it adn that’s a pretty good determinant. Unfortunately I will have to start saying it WAS my favorite because Amazon cancelled series after this season. I’m still mad and disappointed because GoT is about to end so all platforms grab the money to invest in “next huge thing” (in case of Amazon it’s new Lord of the Ring..yeah we need it). But don’t get me wrong. I didn’t put Mozart this high because I’m mad and or to mark someone’s mistake. I just really loved this season. Placing the plot in Japan was bull’s-eye move. Rodrigo De Souza (favorite tv character next to Leslie Knope) as a boyfriend of Hailey was hilarious, a much as observing her way to become succesfull and independent artist. The scene when she debuts as conductor with piece “Hi” is maybe my favorite moment in whole season. Even stronger is her performence at the finale. Although I rooted for Hailey and Rodrigo as a couple I’m glad that creators didn’t go into cliche with their relationship. Another strong scene is the on at traditional tea ceremony. Of course as always the whole season was very firm from the music side (this series helped me to discover a little piece of classical music and I’m grateful for that). I will really miss this series. I think it could easily do another season especially now when creators decided to end this season in such an interesting place. Too bad...

1. The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (season 2)

There’s nothing to explain... but I will ;) I compared all the series with each other and in my opinion there was nothing better that Mrs. Maisel this year. I enjoyed it last year but I didn’t even expected how much delight will it be to have it back. Visually it is the most beautiful thing in tv right now. And the writing as always is case of Amy Sherman-Palladino is just excellent. Those characters are so fast and wit it’s just a pleasure to observe them interact and discuss with much to many words and refrences than any normal person would use. And those actors really take it like a champs. All episodes in Paris was nice but it was nothing compre to Catskill where it felt like watching dirty dancing but with much better and more interesting story. I love the way Palladino direct her characters. How they develop especially Midge, her friendship with Susie and her realisation that stand-up comedy is not only the thing she want to do but it is something she will do for the rest of her life. Every time she stands in front of audience, camera or father himself she proves to be nailer and we as audience live for those moments! I really enjoyed see her parents in Paris as we could discover totally different side of them both and also new romance of Midge. But my favorite sequence of the season was Midge watching Lenny Bruce (Luke Kirby is so on point with this role) in last episode and realising it all (inconspicuous scene but made me waste a few tears). At the end I will add that I love the attitude towards the children presented in this series...irrational like many other things.

*******

Suming up in my list dominant are HBO and Netflix productions but in the end two first places go to Amazon.

Comapring with previous year there is no sign of Legion in top 10. Well season 2 was good, sometimes even great but not enough to get into the top. Beside there’s less new series on the list (seven in 2017, four this year) but we had some amazing comebacks.

I don’t have huge disappointments this year, maybe just a few. 1) Romanoffs were boring as hell and I really counted on Weiner. 2) Cancelling of many good series like Mozart in the Jungle or Daredevil. 3) Riverdale became so absurd that it beats and law of logic. I mean why it gotta be so intense?

#top10 #2018 #year summary #tv series #hbo #netflix #Amazon #marvelous mrs maisel #mozart in the jungle #Bojack Horseman #glow #the haunting of hill house #barry #sharp objects #the deuce #patrick melrose #anne with an e #best of 2018

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allthestoriesinyourhead · 6 years ago

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“Viscious” & “Vengeful”, by V.E. Schwab || a review by pj

Fun fact: I actually tried reading Viscious 2 times and both times stopped after 10 or so pages. But then, I decided to give it a third try at the beginning of this year (because the story did sound interesting) and now it’s officially my favorite book of 2018 (so far, but you know…the year is almost over so…). I thought the book was excellent as a stand-alone (and to be honest, I kinda prefer stand alones over series) but then the second part came out and OF COURSE! I had to read it!

So here we go!

-magical girl transformation sequence into reviewer pj-

Summary

So, in the “Villains” (that’s what the series is called) universe, there’s people called ExtraOrdinaries (or EO) who have X-men like powers. The two main characters, Victor and Eli, are 2 pre-med students at this fancy university, preparing to write their thesis and Eli decides to write his work on what makes an EO, and Victor decides to help him, both actually succeeding in becoming an EO.

The interesting thing about this story is the way in which it’s told. You go back and forth between past and present, and in the present it’s been 10 years after Victor and Eli’s university days and Victor has just escaped from prison and is looking to get his revenge on Eli.

As for the story of Vengeful, all the characters we know and love from the first book return, with two additional main characters, Marcella and June, who will antagonize the city of Merit and get in the way of what Victor and Eli want more than anything else. To kill each other.

Review

Well, let me start by saying that I absolutely LOVED EVERYTHING about these books. You would think that with the way the book jumps back and forth between the past and present and between characters it might be a little confusing, but it’s actually pretty great because you have the whole perspective of a story. From the beginning of each chapter it is stated who is the main character of that chapter and it’s the best way to guarantee that your readers will understand all your characters. It also makes it harder to take sides.

More on why the jumps between past and present are great? It’s a really good way to tell a story that’s takes place in two timelines without relying too heavily on the use of flashbacks on every chapter. This goes on during first half of Viscious and like 70% of Vengeful (because there’s more characters) until it’s time for the great climax, that’s when the flow is more linear, but still jumping between characters.

Viscious takes place between today and 10 years ago and Vengeful takes place between today and 5 years ago (where the first book ended). It’s a lot like the first Deadpool movie, when he tells the audience “And now you’re all caught up.”

Another thing that’s to be praised about the books is definitely the characters. And the thing is that they’re all, as the name the series says, villains (maybe like 3 of them can be saved to be called that, but they’re not entirely innocent anyways). And even though, they’re villains, in their minds (and in ours too) they’re the heroes of their own stories, motivated by revenge, justice, self-preservation, power, and they will move whoever is on their way to get it.

Both books maintain an calmly, detailed, yet not slow pace that makes it hard to stop reading, and jumping from character to character keeps you from getting bored. There’s always something happening somewhere.

One thing I really like to notice when I read books with multiple POVs is how the narration switches for every character, and that’s really something to be admired (speaking a little bit more as a writer than a reader). Even between the same character and different time periods. You would be able to tell the difference between Victor and Eli from 10/15 years ago and Victor and Eli from the present. Obviously you would need to be pointed out which time period is which, but it would be pretty easy to tell by the evident changes in their narration, their dialogue and even in the way they moved.

As for which book I prefer, I feel like everyone will say that they preferred Viscious, and so do I. “Viscious” is a clear example where characters win over story, not that the story is weak at all, but you have a “simple” revenge story, and while the side characters have their subplots too, there’s only 2 more of them and their subplots blend gracefully into the main story, adding to it (and to their development as a character) without feeling like something tossed to the side.

In “Vengeful”, it feels like the 2 main characters of the first book, of the series, kinda get pushed to the side, (which is funny because Victor’s motivation in Viscious 10 years ago was to not become a side character to Eli’s story of greatness) and Marcella, the new villain, gets the main story to herself (which, now that I think about it, feels very fitting for her character. Maybe that’s why she’s on the cover). And I did like Marcella, but I didn’t like her better than Victor or Eli. Their stories felt like they were an appetizer or a side dish to Marcella’s story, and they didn’t end in a very satisfactory way (in my opinion). It is kind of an open ending, but at the same time it also feels like… not a bad place for all the characters’ stories to end.

However, Victoria Schwab did say on her instagram that she’s almost sure that she will write a third book, and with the way this one ended, I am really curious to see what the next one will be about.

Verdict

In my opinion, what makes these books unique are its characters and its take superpowers and superheroes, a topic that we’re seeing a lot of lately on books and in movies. Everyone knows that with the Marvel and DC movies everyone wants to be a superhero, and as for the villains, they all shine in here. It’s a cast full of antiheroes whose motivation is to survive in this world that doesn’t give them what they need, but they, but they play by their own rules, no matter who gets in the way.

And so, after almost (definitely) dying on that tragic accident and being brought back to life with ExtraOrdinary powers, Viscious and Vengeful have me awarding them an overall score of…

5 out of 5 stars for Viscious

4 out of 5 stars for Vengeful

I seriously believe that if you’re anyone who loves to read, you’ll like these ones.

Reviewer pj out!

#pj reviews

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sickparanoid · 6 years ago

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*slams a monopoly $5 on your counter* answer 1 through 5 please

What is your favorite movie of all time

probably mysterious skin or paranorman but i love a lot of films

2.Top 5 movies from 2017

the shape of water, IT, three billboards outside ebbing missouri, my friend dahmer, raw

3.What is a movie that changed your life

i’m doing more than one because im a bastard, also i’m excluding the ones i mentioned as my favs

it’s such a beautiful day by don hertzfeldt. it made me stop and think about beauty in the world around us and also made me try and be more introspective about how i view life and death, and also inspires me to make a piece of art every time i see it. it’s so existential and always hits in my heart in lots of different ways because i can relate to the loss of connection to reality as well as the feelings of loss but it’s also so simple and just amazing

pump up the volume kinda seems like a general teen angst film with a bit of preaching about society but it kinda hit home to me how mark is this outwardly anxious and awkward person who has this idealised version of himself where he’s not bound by his own anxieties and then he actually inspires change in people and in the world around him and i think it’s amazing

pride is just such a good movie and really made me happy to be gay and it didn’t feel empty like some gay films do. it portrays homophobia in a way that’s period typical but not in a way that isn’t still relatable today, and it always makes me cry watching it. it also taught me about a piece of lgbt UK history i had no idea about and i thought that was awesome

4. A movie you think is overrated

marvel films i guess? i don’t think they’re bad and i get that they’re fun and everything but i just think they’re so formulaic and are just ruling the market atm and there’s no real emotion or passion behind them aside from maybe thor ragnarok but even that kinda felt a bit hollow.

also don’t breathe was super hyped up and the ending sucked ass and ruined the film and a good concept

5. A movie you think is underrated

my own private idaho!!! the only things i see about it are about keanu reeves and river phoenix who are amazing actors and i love them but nobody talks about the film itself when it’s so beautiful and captures this kind of hopelessness in the atmosphere that makes the moments of true love and friendship stand out and it makes it so heartbreaking when it’s taken away. it’s not just an aesthetically beautiful film with gorgeous actors, it’s really raw and intelligent and devastating and very real. “wherever, whatever, have a nice day.”

also i have to mention mysterious skin here because there’s nothing about it anywhere but as you saw from #1 i consider it one of my favourite films because it shows how people cope with trauma in such drastically different ways. stylistically its kinda similar to my own private idaho, as well as in themes of male sexuality, but despite the film itself being a whole lot darker it has a more hopeful ending and its about two people coming together rather than drifting apart. i loved the film and the book so much i wrote my advanced higher english dissertation on it. major tw for csa if you watch it though, seriously.

lads send me more i love films and i could talk about them for hours and i haven’t even touched on my horror obsession (you can send ur own questions too not just ones from the ask meme)

#long post #long as FUCK post i can never shut up #films #bruisedschizo #ask

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myinazeaanazazi · 6 years ago

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my villain pet peeve and Infinity War

So, I saw Avengers: Infinity War last Friday and I’ve been reminded once again why I dislike most villains.

Spoilers ahead.

Now, watching Infinity War started sucky. Because they kill Loki before the Title even shows up on screen. That made me a bit mad for multiple reasons.

I only saw Thor: Ragnarok once, so I had no idea that the after credit scene was “Thanos shows up”... I mean, I knew when I watched the movie, but only because I watched one of those ‘prepare for infinity war’ videos on youtube. So, right off the bat: Continuity.

Now, controversial opinion: Why not put that not-even-five-minute scene at the end of Ragnarok? I mean, Marvel wouldn’t have had to hire Tom Hiddleston for Infinity War, which could have saved them money, I guess? More importantly, it would have helped with continuity, because I can promise you I would have remembered Thanos offing Loki. Also, there would have been the additional tension of ‘Do Loki and Thor live?’ Plus, I would have loved to see the spaceship destroyed and not being thrown into a pre-destroyed spaceship.

It kinda deadened me to the following deaths. Like, we killed a dude in the first five minutes. I expect copious amounts of blood flow... and didn’t get any. Like, people, uh, died, but it was Loki, nothing, nothing, nothing, Gamora, nothing, EVERYONE... and without blood.

This makes the fact that we get little to no reaction to the people dying another problem I have. Like, Thor sheds a single tear ... and Star-Lord punches Thanos because he killed Gamora ... Thanos cries one single tear ... and that is all the emotional reaction we see the characters have to the deaths. Sorry, but that doesn’t exactly move me ... which might be a failure on my part.

Then there is the fact that there are a few character points that irk me.

Scarlet Witch and her inability to prioritize. Seriously, your boyfriend is begging, begging you to kill him because it’s the only way to prevent genocide and you choose smoochies over the universe? I get that she’s lost a whole lot of shit over the course of her life and doesn’t want to lose any more people, but Vision has ... knowledge and thinks about things. He’s arguably the mentally most skilled of the bunch and still smoochies top genocide? Cause I’ve seen a review where someone actually called Wanda decisive and I was screaming at my monitor that “NO! She literally waits until the very last fucking second to kill her boyfriend, that is NOT decisive at all!” Plus, wouldn’t it have been so much more devastating (read: interesting and having emotion-potential) for her to a) realize when they get to Wakanda (cause they would’ve gone there anyway) and b) make Thanos have more power and make him less likable if he’d turned back time for more than 2 minutes? and having Scarlet Witch realize that she even though she killed her boyfriend and has been struggling with that for more than fifteen seconds, that sacrifice was for naught? I mean, she disappears a minute later, so there is no emotion there ... Plus, that stupid stupid stupid scene that was all about Scarlet Witch and Vision being a couple? After we’ve last seen them in civil war and we hadn’t even had confirmation that they’re together, did we have to spend ten fucking minutes on them being all lovey and in an established relationshps? I realize, partly that’s me being not all that interested in Scarlet Witch, a character that showed up 2 movies ago, who has been nothing but that antagonist that joins the team late in the game and whose powers we don’t even actually know a lot about, because nobody has spent time developing her. There has been no movie about her, nothing. She’s been a side character for 2 movies. Nobody gave either Hawkeye or Black Widow a truly impactful role in the last few movies, and we know so much more about them than we know about Scarlet Witch. Mostly, I just hate that she’s nothing more than a plot-device and everyone treats her like she’s the second coming.

Star-Lord punching Thanos, because EMOTIONS. I was sitting in my theater when they almost pull off the glove and telling Star-Lord not to fucking punch him. Yes, it was predictable as fuck and dear God did I want to see Thanos besting the heroes after the took off the glove, but nooooo, Star-Lord had to be ~overwhelmed by his emotions~ after finding out that Gamora is dead, and hit Thanos in that one moment when they could have succeeded. I was so angry at the little twat.

Dr. Strange giving up the Time Stone after explicitly stating that he’s definitely going to sacrifice everyone to keep the stone safe, he gives up the stone to Thanos. Like, dude. Really? I thought you understood priorities.

Dr. Strange’s last words are something along the lines of “Sorry Tony, this was the only way.”, which ruins the whole thing. He looks at 14 Million possible futures. And of course, there is ONE future where they win. He couldn’t have said, like, seventy-five? Like, ALL the stars have to align to win. 75 out of 14 Million is still not a snowball’s chance in hell if you’re talking probabilities and it would have sounded less ... you know ... farfetched. Now, that’s not my biggest problem, because that doesn’t take you out of the movie in the very last moment of the movie. You only remember that later when thinking about it. Which I greatly prefer to having them shove the fact that the whole movie was pointless because of course they’re gonna win, because Dr Strange has put everything he can into motion and he knows they’re gonna win.

Now, Thanos. Thanos, Thanos, Thanos. Let’s summarize what I remember about Thanos pre-Infinity War: In the Avengers after-credit scene, Buffy/Angel-Wesley tells us/Thanos that fighting Earth’s mightiest heroes would be a great way to ‘court Death’. Now, me, a person who hasn’t read the comics, I went on the internet and did a little bit of research (not a lot^^) and found out that Thanos is in love with the anthropomorphic personalization of Death and wants to court her via killing as many people as he can, as gifts to her. Which felt like a cool thing. So I was a bit disappointed that they dropped that angle entirely. Which we find out when we find out that Thanos wants to bring balance to the galaxy.

And that means I have to downgrade Thanos from villain-status to antagonist-status. Imagine my disappointment when instead of Buffy’s “the First Evil”, I got “The Initiative”. Now, both are kinda scary concepts and valid and stuff, but one of them bit off more than they could chew while the other just ran out of people they could manipulate. Plus, one’s embodied by Nathan Fillion in my head and the other by ... Marc Blucas. I had to google that because while Riley was a character on Buffy for 31 episodes and Caleb only for 5, one of them made much more of an impression than the other.

My problem with Thanos as we see him in Infinity War is that he’s misguided. JUST misguided. And I despise misguided villains because most of them aren’t done very well. I understand the desire for villains outside of run-off-the-mill bloodthirsty insanity, but in my head, Thanos is just a person who uses the wrong ends to achieve the same goal as our heroes. Saving the universe. Granted, the heroes’ need to save the universe only arises because Thanos wants to save the universe, but the goal is the same.

I’m not saying that the end justifies the means, but the Thanos we got to know during that movie (that feels inappropriately titled, because, really, shouldn’t it be called ‘Thanos’?) sees his way as the only viable way after experiencing Titan’s downfall. Therein lies my problem. We see Titan lying in ruins. True, there could have been any number of reasons for that, but operating on what we know is Thanos’s level of knowledge, Titan was destroyed because of overpopulation and no way they devised of countering the overpopulation helped. The rationale that killing people, aka Thanos’s way, is the only one that works is sound. Which makes him the hero of the story. You know, the one that makes the hard choices. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. Sure, a nice side-effect, he feels, is that people are going to thank him once they realize that what he’s done is great, but that’s not his main objective.

Thanos is too human for my taste. In a bad way. Red Skull was human once, but the way we see him in Captain America dehumanizes him while making him a villain. A goofy villain, sure, but a villain nonetheless.

This is my first problem.

The second one is speculation based on what I know about books and movies and stuff. Namely that after that scene with baby Gamora looking all disappointed in Thanos, the logical way this is going to continue is Thanos is going to realize that he made a mistake and will want to make amends and put everything to rights. And that would really suck because if you want to make Thanos into a hero, don’t market him as a villain.

Redeeming villains has its time and place, sure, but not fast. Please, let there be character development first...and please don’t do that in a superhero universe when you’ve built the guy up for the past ten years.

I mean, I get that there’s other ways to go with the story. I really hope I’m wrong, but ...

My third problem is not with Thanos himself but with our heroes, who, although they should have learned that just punching people isn’t any kind of solution, that’s the only way they even think about solving their problem. Like, I would have expected at least someone to be like “He’s talking about saving the universe. Shouldn’t we, like, try and convince him that killing people is not the solution?”, and then maybe someone to say “Don’t you think there are any number of people who tried that?”, but as far as I can tell, there is nobody who’s ever stood up to Thanos with anything other than violence. I’m not a pacifist, I actually like action movies and the violence in them. Like, from a distance. But nobody ever even talks about a different solution. We have time to establish that Scarlet Witch and Vision are in a sex-having relationship, but we don’t have time for that?

I also don’t know what Thanos can do with the Infinity gauntlet, because nobody says what all that entails. Yeah, he can manipulate reality, but what does that mean? We only ever see him do shit that temporarily affects shit, so ... what? As The Film Theorists pointed out, Thanos could have just doubled everything except the population, but can the gauntlet do that? Other people pointed out that the people aren’t actually dead, just sucked into the soul stone, so is that whole “doubling shit” even an option?

My biggest problem is that I can’t really root against Thanos. Especially when none of our heroes even tried talking to Thanos. Like, sure, they don’t get the chance, but they don’t even consider the option of not waging war. They don’t ever try to find a solution. Sure, he kills people by the billion, but he doesn’t do that for his own gains (as a proper villain should, in my mind) but for the good of the universe. I fucking hate that. Like, Voldemort and Umbridge and Ultron and .... others I can’t think of right now, are actually malicious. Not just ... goal-oriented.

Well, not true. My biggest problem is that all of what I just listed detracts from the good things about infinity war.

Like, the story is actually quite good. The characters fit together well. The chemistry between the characters is great. The banter is great. The visual effects are great. Everything but what I listed is outstanding in my mind.

#thanos #worries about the future of thanos #infinity war #opinion

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