#bontu the glorified

[dimestoretajic]

Got it.

My criteria: It had to have "the" in the middle to denote their title, and it had to be able to be pronounced as "DA da, da DAdada" (in other words, the same meter as "Mentos, the Freshmaker").

Here's the list:

Lucas, the Sharpshooter Bontu the Glorified** Breeches, the Blastmaker Breena, the Demagogue** Brinelin, the Moon Kraken Kenzo the Hardhearted Dargo, the Shipwrecker Doran, the Siege Tower Dromar, the Banisher Eriette, the Beguiler** Ertai, the Corrupted Evelyn, the Covetous Gisa, the Hellraiser Grismold, the Dreadsower Grolnok, the Omnivore** Immard, the Stormcleaver Jaxis, the Troublemaker* Jodah, the Unifier Judith, the Scourge Diva** Kaervek the Merciless Kaervek, the Punisher Kamber, the Plunderer Kellan, the Fae-Blooded Kenrith, the Returned King** Keskit, the Flesh Sculptor Kestia, the Cultivator* Kethis, the Hidden Hand** Kogla, the Titan Ape** Makari, the Lucky Grot** Kura, the Boundless Sky** Laurine, the Diversion Linden, the Steadfast Queen** Lorthos, the Tidemaker Lutri, the Spellchaser Magda, the Hoardmaster Mairsil, the Pretender Negan, the Cold-Blooded Marwyn, the Nurturer Najal, the Storm Runner Neheb, the Eternal** Nekusar, the Mindrazer* Obosh, the Preypiercer Ognis, the Dragon's Lash** Oros, the Avenger Parnesse, the Subtle Brush** Piru, the Volatile** Preston, the Vanisher Rakdos, the Defiler Rakdos, the Showstopper Regna, the Redeemer Ryusei, the Falling Star** Samwise the Stouthearted Saryth, the Viper's Fang** Sauron, the Lidless Eye** Sauron, the Necromancer* Sedris, the Traitor King** Sengir, the Dark Baron** Sheoldred, the Apocalypse* Skithiryx, the Blight Dragon* Slimefoot, the Stowaway Slogurk, the Overslime Sol'kanar the Swamp King* Surrak, the Hunt Caller Tana, the Bloodsower Tawnos, the Toymaker Teneb, the Harvester Thantis, the Warweaver Tinybones, the Pickpocket* Tormod, the Desecrator* Toxrill, the Corrosive** Tymaret, the Murder King Tyvar the Bellicose Uril, the Miststalker Volrath, the Shapestealer Vraska, the Silencer Wilhelt, the Rotcleaver Zedruu the Greathearted Zirda, the Dawnwaker Zo-Zu the Punisher

You've noticed the asterisks. * indicates that it doesn't actually fit the criteria, but it fits the vibe (Tinybones has three syllables, not two, but... fits the vibe!). ** indicates that it's the right number of syllables, but not the right metre (the emphasis is on RO for the word Corrosive, so Toxrill, the Corrosive just doesn't work).

Thank you for indulging me in investigating this very silly thing.

you know how a lot of phrases fit the cadence of "teenage mutant ninja turtles"?

i'm doing the same thing

but by "phrases" i mean legendary creatures

and by "teenage mutant ninja turtles" i mean "mentos, the freshmaker"

the most recent one i've added to the list is "kamber, the plunderer"

i will notify you when i'm done

[littlegoldenbirdie]

Thoughts on the forgotten ones

Okay, so when Nicol Bolas first went to Amonkhet, there were EIGHT gods. When was done LITERALLY fucking with the lot of them, there were five who stayed themselves.

Yeah, we got...

Oketra the True, goddess of teamwork and shit.

Kefnet the Mindful, god of knowing stuff.

Bontu the Glorified, goddess of ambition (and being an asshole).

Hazoret the Fervent, goddess of Really Meaning It.

Rhonas the Indomitable, god of kicking ass.

But there were three more, who lost their names and functions. The Scarab God, the Scorpion God and the Locust God. What would their purposes have been, had Bolas not lobotomized Amonkhet as a whole? I know Ancient Egyptian mythology pretty well, so I can hazard a few guesses...

Scarabs were associated with creation and renewal, and the cycle of life and death, so the Scarab God probably had a similar job. There's a deity called Khepri who was often depicted with a scarab for a head, and this was what he did. Since Bolas's plan involved disrupting all of that on SO many levels, this particular god had to go.

The Scorpion God had a literal actual counterpart in Ancient Egyptian mythology in the form of Selket the scorpion-goddess of protection. Bolas HAD to get rid of this one just to get anything done.

As to the Locust God? There weren't any deities associated with locusts, but they were generally Really Bad News. So this god was probably associated with destruction. Bolas was gonna wreck Amonkhet himself in the end, so who needs a god of destruction?

[pazmonx]

Bontu the Glorified Fan art! The third completed! Finally, I'm taking my time with this fanart .. because of work and those things of daily life. I hope you like it.

[esper-etherium]

Okay, but why is no one talking about Bontu? That jerk knew the whole darn time! Like sure, she explains that she chose to align herself with Bolas to survive, but dang. I would have expected more from her. Even black aligned characters have loyalties and she just betrayed all of that, for nothing. Screw you, Bontu! You big crocodile jerk.

[flavoracle]

Et tu, Bontu?

[googlyeyesonmagiccards]

Aww, who's a good pupper

[counter-target-spell]

Bontu: did you really think I wouldn't betray you I'm evil it's what I do

Also Bontu: what the? how could someone evil betray me

[hexproofharry]

👀

[pepperstrawberry]

A mystery possibly solved!

I haven’t had the chance to read all the way through the art book yet, but I think I have a theory with some solid evidence now.

We know that Bontu betrayed the other gods. Now some folks might deny this, but sadly we have not one, but two bits of evidence to Bontu telling the truth when she said defected to bolas and betrayed them:

Within the story we get one bit of evidence from Amonkhet episode 7: Trespass, when Samut found the hidden secret of Nicol Bolas from deep inside Bontu’s monument:

“That was what led her, on one fated day, as the second sun drew closer to its final zenith between the horns of the promised God-Pharaoh, to a sealed chamber deep within the halls of Bontu's Monument. There, where no initiate was to tread, and where even Bontu had forgotten its existence, she discovered a glyph she had not seen since her journey on the sands.

The walls of the shadowed chamber spoke of the God-Pharaoh's first arrival on Amonkhet, of his eminence and power. His horns, the ever-present symbol so common throughout Naktamun, reigned over all else. But the hieroglyphics did not call the God-Pharaoh such, instead naming him something different, a name she could not decipher, written in an ancient script lost to time. However, underneath the unspeakable name, was a title Samut recognized:

Trespasser.

In an instant, memories of the forgotten shrine in the desert flooded back. As Samut surveyed the rest of the wall, depicting great and terrible destruction, cold realization seeped into her gut.

We are not the trespassers, barred from the desert.

The God-Pharaoh is the Great Trespasser.”

BUT!

We have had a little hint the entire time that something was up with Bontu.

Each of the gods, SAVE BONTU, have golden faces. Could it be possible that part of the effect of the gods being remade to Bolas’ desire? Similar to their own selves, but the gold process somehow helping lock in his mind games?

Consider this further:

“  "But look—the gods are here too! On these old murals. There's Hazoret." Samut pointed at a tall figure in a painting, and Nakht realized that was indeed Hazoret—but she looked different, rendered in a style foreign to what he'd seen on everything else. Hazoret gazed over the smaller figures: humans, aven, khenra, minotaurs, and naga, all standing in various stances.”

Now, while one could argue that maybe it was because of the style of art used, but the way this reads, and the fact that the writer called specific attemtion to it, leaves me with little doubt that is not the case and that there is indeed something different about Hazoret pictured on the ruin that is important.

sorry... it just hit me tonight for some reason while I was looking at the back of the Art book (which features Bontu standing there in profile)

(I”m not posting this as a part of any discourse. This is things I’m noticing based on the line of thought of her being the betrayer. If you want to believe she was also twisted too, even if a little, go with whatever headcanon you want. But until the official story actually states she is innocent, the style of writing, and the way they present things, paints her as the betrayer

And in that light, this is an interesting detail that really plays to that reveal.

It’s something I just noticed is all. K? k.)

Have a mini

mmm, wrong mini. Lets try that again:

[dailytopimagic]

Topi’s Daily Card #1026:  Bontu the Glorified

Bontu is one god that I’m more than happy to throw into a deck for multiple reasons.  Bleeding and lifegain, the ability to scry, and the ability to sacrifice creatures makes her a fine card to add to any deck running black.  Sac outlets are a must have, and despite this having a semi steep cost at two mana, it does a lot and enables Bontu to swing in as a four power indestructible, and with menace as well, making her tougher to block that people think.  Whether you’re going all into sacrifice themes or just need a little bit more power and utility, Bontu does a lot to help smooth a deck out.

[the-nerdy-necromancer]

Todays mtg story

Well that was so sad Bontu was the most interesting god to me...I mean i still love Nicol Bolas more but its still upsetting

[wolkemesser]

“Et tu, Bontu?”

[pazmonx]

The Amonkhet gods - Fanart

Finally, I finished the playmat ... it was fun! :D

Guys, I have a proposal for you, all interested in having this final art of the 5 gods in full resolution and without the watermark, just ready to print! please send me a PM :)

I hope you like it, and I hope to be worthy XD

[bace-jeleren]

[magicjudge]

Bontu is active, and is then stolen. The player who stole him has not had a creature die. Is he still active?

Bontu won’t be able to attack.

Bontu’s attacking and blocking restriction only matters when she would be declared as an attacker or blocker and is only ever checked at those times. Since Bontu’s new controller hasn’t had a creature die under their control this turn, she won’t be able to attack or block. It doesn’t matter that she would have been able to attack or block under her previous controller’s control. (Also, she would have summoning sickness unless the effect that stole her also granted her haste.)

[affinityforanime]

Character is Mimi from Flip Flappers. This series was a very interesting magic girl anime that explored some of the darker aspects of humanity. It reminded me of Madoka Magica.