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[fin.]

Headcanons:

Ji gave Jiequan a nickname because prior to meeting Ji, Jiequan's name had never been called fondly. He flinched every time Ji called for him. They tried a few nicknames, but ultimately settled on "Xiao Quan" because Jiequan was terribly small for his age... (And perhaps also because Ji hoped he would not grow up too quickly - not like those other youths they once knew, who pursued power to a terrible end.)

Jiequan only started referring to himself in the third person after he met Ji. He never had the chance to be a proper child before that. He outgrew the habit as he got older, of course, but he was excellent at playing up his cuteness as a child.

Jiequan has a brief period where he thinks Lear is really cool. That's why he has a ponytail as a teenager.

...In some ways, Jiequan only grew up to be what he was because he encountered Ji. He wanted to be loved, desperately, and forged himself in imitation of those heroes that Ji seemed strangely fond of in the histories they recounted. If anything, perhaps the problem was that his imitation was too good. He became a larger than life character, an act, a collection of someone else's ideas- and lost the sincerity which made him so endearing as a child. Yet at the same time, this turned him into someone Ji could no longer accept: a cruel, sadistic, and self-centered man who willfully inflicted pain onto others for his own ends.

But Jiequan could no longer turn back. He came to harbour a strange mix of bitter resentment and desperate longing for Ji's affection. If guoshi didn't approve of his actions, then guoshi had to be wrong, because Jiequan- Jiequan was doing everything right. This is what he wanted, right? This is what they asked for. He listened to Ji's prophecies and counsel as guoshi because he could not let go, and yet dismissed their words as merely the anxieties of an old Solarian.

When he met Yi, the first thing that struck Jiequan was how deeply unlikeable this tiny runt was. Sharp-tongued, standoffish, and disinterested in anything that didn't appeal to him, Yi was the type of person who made enemies as easily as breathing. And yet... He was outstanding. His martial prowess and scientific skill, for one matter, and for the other... the fact that Yi was undeniably loved. They weren't so different really, Jiequan and Yi- and yet, Jiequan was alone while Yi had friends and family who cared for him.

So came the second thing that struck Jiequan about Yi: he wanted him, and he wanted to break him. What would it be like, he wondered, to have someone finally hold Jiequan and only Jiequan in their eyes? Even if the emotion was motivated by pure hatred- what would it be like to occupy the whole of someone's mind? To be seen as himself, instead of a ghost from the past? If he took Yi apart, perhaps Jiequan could finally figure out what allowed Yi to cross the invisible wall between himself and others that Jiequan could not. At the very least, he would break the wall between himself and Yi - by any means necessary.

Jiequan wondered, in the end, what should he have done to keep holding on to the warm hand that saved him in the ruins of his childhood? What could he have done? He wanted too much, maybe- more than he could achieve as a weak, coddled child. Maybe his sin was that he could not stay a child forever. (That does not mean he ever really grew up.)

(Ji always saw him as that small, bright Xiao Quan who asked him for fairytales with sparkling eyes. That child simply wandered too far into his fantasies for Ji to find him before the end- not unlike another man Ji once knew, no-- but they cared for the two differently. He never did quite manage to make Xiao Quan see that.)

Bonus:

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(part 2 here)

The narrative that Jietong was a tyrant and only a tyrant must have been pretty pervasive throughout Penglai, right? After all, that's the narrative that Yi recounts. So then, for Jiequan to have idolized his ancestor so much...

It could have been a simple, desparate fantasy for control from a weak, bullied child. But to desire so much as the revival of the Jie Kingdom? Where did Jiequan find his narrative of history? He seemed rather alone in his memories...

Headcanon that Ji told Jiequan stories of Jietong with such fondness that the young boy who idolized his guoshi wanted to give them a whole kingdom. That Ji only found Jiequan later in life— that upon their first encounter at the shattered statue of Jietong, Jiequan cried bitterly and hated the ancestor who could not protect him, regardless of whatever else his legacy held. That Ji who appeared before him like a hero became an object of admiration and the revival of Jiequan's belief in the Jie Kingdom. After all, heroes are forged in agony. Here was a solarian who saved him, and yet carried centuries of untold sorrow upon his thin shoulders. But when Jiequan made his childish declarations that he'd revive the kingdom of his ancestors, Ji would smile just so and pat his head ever so fondly; melancholic in his joy and seeming to look far, far away. It was almost as if they were seeing someone else from a long, long time ago.

That was fine, too. As long as someone stayed by his side. As long as he had some greater purpose to aspire for, some dream to achieve... Jiequan would never be that weak, lonely child again.

And maybe someday, someone would talk about him with as much fondness as Ji talked about his ancestor. Wouldn't that be nice?

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Tagged by @crazymistahj. Thanks for the tag :D I too do not have editing skills, but if you want, make a 3X9 of your fav comfort characters. Please keep in mind that I have the memory of a goldfish so these may not be the most accurate response... I. I had to google "popular manga series" after #1 to give my brain a jumpstart...

1. Kim Dokja: Worst coping mechanisms known to man, actively walls himself into a hell of his own creation, absolutely unreliable narrator. The furthest and closest one can get to being Just a Guy.

2. Riza Hawkeye: Has seen the horrors of war, will risk life and limb for a better future. Clever, strong, and loyal. Will pull you back from the brink of no return.

3. Diluc Ragnvindr: Born into a comfortable life, lost what matters most. Lost himself, probably. Doesn't know how to talk to his ex-best friend except through bickering, but will come with claymore blazing to save him. There is friendship between them that is old but new, so beloved that each treats it like it will shatter if spoken into existence.

4. Himeno: Probably an unusual choice. I think she would have been happy in a different world. Loved and loved and loved and lost. (And lost).

5. Liu Qingge: Chronic second male lead syndrome. Will fight losing battles for the sake of people he cares about. As with most characters who aren't SQQ, the story is a tragedy from his perspective.

6. Portgas D. Ace: Good brother. Can't spell.

7. Frieren: Doesn't understand humans. Tries anyways, and gets better at it. Not particularly skilled at expressing her emotions, but has undying trust in and clearly cares for her companions. Very powerful but also silly at times, which I appreciate.

8. Koro-sensei: funny yellow octopus haha but also a person who was saved amidst desperate loneliness and chose to spend the brief remainder of his life helping people trapped in that same despair. An excellent teacher.

9. Julius Monrey: Debated between choosing him or Ace, but I think Julius is a little more doomed by the narrative. Grumpy but for good reason. The only person who cares about life in a world where death is as common as stepping outside. Probably very tired.

My first textpost... what flood will this unleash? We'll find out!

Tagging: I don't know anyone yet, but hopefully one day I'll have people to tag ^^

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As a bonus, you can think about Jiequan losing himself in his quest for power and glory. Master of both transmutation and martial arts- the figure of the forlorn child he once was is nowhere to be seen. Consolidating power gives way to maintaining power, which at last gives way to expanding power.

And Ji witnesses this.

(It's because of their stories, Ji thinks to himself. As damning as a prophecy. Perhaps they should never speak again.)

Ji's fond tales soon turn into careful counsel, which in time becomes barely concealed pleading. As Jiequan morphs into a cruel and unrecognizable figure, as he puppets legions of Red Tiger Soldiers in a sickening imitation of an empire, as he decides to torture and fight Yi— desperately, fruitlessly, Ji asks him to turn back.

Jiequan hears his pleas but thinks nothing of it. Guoshi is too cautious, haunted by a bygone era; Jiequan will overcome this. He looks in the mirror and sees a king in the making. A sprawling empire, his to claim.

Ji looks at Jiequan and sees a child.

A small, lonely child that fed himself on too many dreams to face the inevitability of death, of collapse... of the ashes from which life at last springs anew. They have seen this story play out too many times. They know that Jiequan will neither listen nor retreat. Not until he is wholly destroyed.

And once again, Ji feels how terribly powerless he is. They thought he accepted the uncaring nature of the Tao, the relentless forward march of time— the inevitable template of fate. And yet, they think, what he should curse above all else is his own bleeding heart. He can't save Jiequan. They know that well enough by now. And yet, they cannot simply stand by.

He goes to Jiequan, again and again. Each time chips away at a little more of his hope. Each time they leave finding the crack in their heart has grown wider still.

"Jiequan, this will not end well. You will unmake yourself. The hexagrams have foreseen it."

"Jiequan, isn't this enough? Will you not live your life rather than spend the whole of it fighting?"

"Jiequan— No, Xiao Quan— please. If you ever cared for me or the stories I told you... If this title of guoshi should have any meaning now, after all these years... won't you stop? I beg of you. Won't you come listen to another story?"

But Jiequan had grown too old for fairytales.

At least this time, Ji would die by the same blade as his charge. This, too, was preordained. As they card their fingers through the soft grass that springs from the remains of Jiequan’s body, Ji finds himself muttering out loud. An old habit, from years upon years spent in isolation.

"Ah, Xiao Quan... if I meet you again in the afterlife, I'll have to give you a good scolding then."

The narrative that Jietong was a tyrant and only a tyrant must have been pretty pervasive throughout Penglai, right? After all, that's the narrative that Yi recounts. So then, for Jiequan to have idolized his ancestor so much...

It could have been a simple, desparate fantasy for control from a weak, bullied child. But to desire so much as the revival of the Jie Kingdom? Where did Jiequan find his narrative of history? He seemed rather alone in his memories...

Headcanon that Ji told Jiequan stories of Jietong with such fondness that the young boy who idolized his guoshi wanted to give them a whole kingdom. That Ji only found Jiequan later in life— that upon their first encounter at the shattered statue of Jietong, Jiequan cried bitterly and hated the ancestor who could not protect him, regardless of whatever else his legacy held. That Ji who appeared before him like a hero became an object of admiration and the revival of Jiequan's belief in the Jie Kingdom. After all, heroes are forged in agony. Here was a solarian who saved him, and yet carried centuries of untold sorrow upon his thin shoulders. But when Jiequan made his childish declarations that he'd revive the kingdom of his ancestors, Ji would smile just so and pat his head ever so fondly; melancholic in his joy and seeming to look far, far away. It was almost as if they were seeing someone else from a long, long time ago.

That was fine, too. As long as someone stayed by his side. As long as he had some greater purpose to aspire for, some dream to achieve... Jiequan would never be that weak, lonely child again.

And maybe someday, someone would talk about him with as much fondness as Ji talked about his ancestor. Wouldn't that be nice?