#bokuto koutarou x reader angst

[strwbrryeyes]

𖦹°｡⋆ haikyuu boys as my breakup playlist pt.2

⟡ featuring: osamu, ushijima, sakusa, bokuto

⟡ cw: angst, relationship neglect?, sad bokuto</3

⟡ an: i listen to a lot of break up songs. some of these songs are newer btw. characters dont prioritize reader is basically the unofficial theme for this one except for bo bc he can never do wrong in my eyes.

⟡ part one, part three

⟡ miya osamu: ghost of you - 5 seconds of summer

when osamu opened onigiri miya,  you started seeing less of each other. you missed him and he said would try to spend more time with you. and he did. osamu started coming home earlier and you both fell more in love with each other and it felt like things were starting to look up! but after a month, osamu started to spend more time at the onigiri miya again. by now, you knew what as more improtant to him and it wasn't you. but you gave him one last chance. your anniversary was coming up and you knew that osamu would never miss your tradition of going to the diner you two went to on your first date. but when the day came and you were at home sitting alone at midnight, you had finally lost all hope and started packing a some of your things so you could leave and come back at a later time to pick up the rest of your stuff. the next morning, osamu didn't think much of the empty house, he thought you were just at work until he saw a note you left behind telling him you were done. telling him that you were done coming in second place to the restaurant when all you wanted was to see your lover and spend time with him. now osamu stood in the middle of the once shared house, surrounded by everything that reminded him of you, crying because he knew he fucked up.

⟡ ushijima wakatoshi: sand - dove cameron

ushijima has always been a stoic man, everyone knows this. he was never good at expressing his emotions, not even to you. at the beginning of the relationship, everything felt perfect, his presence was warm, and he made you feel like the only person in the world. you knew that even though he was no good at expressing his love for you or conveying any other emotions for that matter, that ushijima would always be there for you when you needed him most. that was until you realized that the ‘honeymoon phase’, had come to an end for you and the star volleyball player. at first you thought it was just because you had gotten used to each other so nothing was really exciting or new in the relationship. you kept thinking this until one day when ushijima said he needed to talk to you. dread filled your heart and mind afraid of what he had to say. later that night, ushijima came over to your place and you both sat down. “i can’t love you the way you want me to love you, yn” were the first words that came out of his mouth. you didn’t know what to say but you managed to mutter out a small why. ushijima then stood up and walked towards your front door about to leave but not before saying “i can’t let you get between me and volleyball right now, i’m sorry.” and with that, ushijima left. he left barely leaving you with anything while you had given him nearly all of you over the last year.

⟡ sakusa kiyoomi: i miss myself - renforshort

sakusa isn't the controlling type but it still felt like you had to walk on eggshells when you were around him. you figured out that he had a somewhat short temper at the beginning of your relationship but you just thought that that was because sakusa felt the need to keep his guard up. everyone assumes that the only thing sakusa would freak out about is cleanliness but there was so much more that you had to be aware of with him like the tone of your voice, how loud you speak, what you talk about, whatever you can think of- you had to be careful. even though he would never explicitly tell you to knock something off or to shut up, you could see it in the way he looks at you with his cold, dark eyes. of course, you didn’t think it was a big deal. not until you were hanging out with one of your friends who said that you don’t seem the way you used to be. that you seemed like you were more on edge than usual. this kept you up at night for a week. throughout the week you thought back to how you used to be before you started dating sakusa, you were more outgoing and vibrant, you found joy in the little things but now you find yourself overthinking every little thing you do. finally, you worked up the courage to talk to sakusa. you told sakusa that you felt like you couldn’t be yourself around him anymore and that you just wanted clarification on what you should be careful about so he could be more comfortable (again, thinking more about him than yourself). but sakusa only scoffed at you and told you that if you wanted him to be comfortable to get out of his life. so you did but you were too far gone and are no longer able to be who you used to be.

⟡ bokuto koutarou: angels like you - miley cyrus

bokuto is the biggest sweetheart on planet earth. he’s never done you wrong but you can’t help but feel like you weren’t enough for him. bokuto has always reassured you that you were everything that hes ever wanted and needed but no matter what you couldn’t shake the feeling. everytime you would be upset, you would distance yourself from everyone including bokuto. this made him sad, i mean all he wanted to do was help his loved one cheer up but he was only left confused when you wouldn’t let him. bokuto would often bring you flowers whenever he noticed something was upsetting you and you loved it everytime but it only left a stinging pain in your chest because you hated making him worry. you knew he would have his own mood swings, but you didn’t want to be the cause of one of them. it was your biggest fear, that you would make him sad one day. bokuto was the ball of energy and happiness while you saw yourself as a thunderstorm, ready to pour down on everyone’s parade. you knew bokuto was too good for you and hurt you to admit but you had to face the truth sooner or later before you end up hurting him more than necessary. the day you broke things off with him was the worst day of bokuto’s life to date. you cried into eachother’s arms for what seemed like hours, he begged you to stay, he told you that he wanted to help you with anything you needed, he didn’t want you to go through hardships alone. bokuto lost the battle and accepted that this was for the better for you. bokuto could only hope that you would come back to him one day because he would take you back in a heartbeat.

[tsukimirecs]

olympic team hq!! // fic recommendations

note: remember to read the tags! + i do not own any of these works ⋆⸜ ⚘ ⸝⋆ .* ⚘ ⋆*⋆⸜ ⚘ ⸝⋆ .* ⚘ ⋆*⋆⸜ ⚘ ⸝⋆ .* ⚘ ⋆*

atsumu

neon lights (in a world gray) triple trouble drunk mind sober heart green with envy a commemoration of firsts till one of us caves long black anyways, don't be a stranger

kageyama

fate when one door closes stolen kisses miscommunication him?! haunt me volleyball on the brain you can hear it in the silence

sakusa

soft and wet public transit miscarry it's still love drawing our moments bed this victory is mine, and yours touch starved

oikawa

babygirl pinch two stories settle always perfect pain split here's to the sixth time

ushijima

request trust fall atlas bitter / sweet soft, but for you only in time page 304

bokuto

inferior an accidental heroine as loud as you like lucid swept up in the moment heart attack

[tetsumie]

"𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐒𝐎 𝐂𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐘" 𝐏𝐓 𝟐

read part 1 here!

pairing: kuroo x reader & bokuto x reader

genre: hurt/comfort

content: the boys call you clingy but they don’t mean it

a/n: hello ahhh it's been awhile since i've posted but i'm trying to get back into the habit of writing again! someone in my inbox had requested me to add bokuto to this list so i tried my best but i hope you all enjoyed this and feel free to stop by my inbox to leave a comment, tell me your thoughts, or just lmk how it's going hehe :,)

kuroo tetsuro

"i'm home," a mumble echoed out into the empty living room.

at the sound of the door opening, you make your way out of your shared bedroom to greet your overworked boyfriend, kuroo.

"hi baby," you replied with a tired smile on your features.

the door closes and kuroo slides off his slacks, loosens his tie, runs his fingers through his hair, and sighs in exhaustion.

"hey."

"have you eaten dinner yet?" you start to ramble. " i can warm up dinner and we could maybe share a meal together?"

"we haven't spent much time together in a while so you know.. i was just thinking... we could do something small together?"

you continue to ramble about how you spent all evening trying a new recipe you saw on tiktok that really fascinated you.

but kuroo is not having it.

all he wants to do is just go to bed and forget the past couple shitty days he's had at work. today, especially, was stressful considering how nothing had gone his way and the higher ups just wouldn’t stop giving him a hard time.

he kept his frustration, tiredness, anger all bottled up for the past couple days and they were all about to boil out.

on top of that, your constant rambling isn't helping. you keep talking and talking and talking and his mind is beginning to get cloudy and his anger is about to boil over.

his voice rises and he finally speaks, "god y/n.. can you just shut the fuck up and stop being all up in my space? you're so fucking clingy just leave me alone."

oh.

you mouth shuts up mid sentence and you're looking down at your feet, too embarrassed to even look him in the eye after hearing his true feelings.

"sorry, i just wanted to spend some time and talk and relax with you..." your voice goes quiet. "you've been out really late for the past couple days so i was just hoping-"

however, kuroo's outburst isn't over yet. if anything, your little comment voicing your concerns seems to have make him a bit more upset.

"yeah, i've been out late because of how suffocating it is here at home with you. god, it's like you just can't take a fucking hint! just leave me the fuck alone!" he says and your eyes go a bit glassy.

"r-right," you say as you're turning around so he doesn't see the tears forming in your eyes. "sorry, i'll respect your wishes and give you your space."

seeing your hunched figure walking away brought him back to his senses.

what the fuck did i just say to them? oh my god.

"y/n wait i'm sorry-" he begins but is cut off.

"kuroo, i think you've said enough tonight."

the sound of his last name coming out of your mouth leaves a bitter taste in his mouth and he knows he's fucked up immensely. the door to the bedroom closes, indicating that you're clocking out for the night and you can't deal with this conversation any bit longer.

kuroo sits himself on the couch with his head in his hands, shaking his head.

what the hell did i just say to them? it's not even their fault... i just... how the hell do i make it up to them?

kuroo walks to the door and places three subtle knocks on the door, begging for permission to enter. he's greeted with no acknowledgement or response.

he turns the knob and to his surprise it opens. there, he sees you fast alseep in your comforter in a fetal-like position. he goes into the closet, changes into his pajamas, and immediately climbs into bed.

he brings you close to his side of the bed, specifically putting your head on his chest. he begins to stroke your hair and places gentle kisses on your head, mumbling soft "i'm sorry's" and "i love you's."

he's praying to whatever deity out there that this would blow over by tomorrow morning or something.

but kuroo wakes up the next morning to his worst nightmare: you're not in bed with him. he feels his blood run cold and he's running the worst case scenarios in his head.

he rushes out of the bedroom to see that you're nowhere in the apartment. he sees a bright colored post-it note stuck on to the fridge with a note scribbled in your handwriting.

"i'm staying at a friend's house for the next couple of days. i just need time to think for a bit. there's some leftovers from last night in the fridge so make sure you eat those.

love u always, y/n"

kuroo's hands shake as he's holding your post-it note.

of course, they'd leave. i treated them like shit and hurt them so badly of course they want to leave. but even after everything, they still love me… i don’t deserve them.

kuroo begins to spiral and the next couple of days aren't any easy for him.

every attempt at texting or calling you has lead to no response. he goes to sleep without you next to him, holding back tears every time. every morning without fail, he pats the vacancy next to him in hopes that you'll be there but to his demise, every time, you're not. work feels even more lethargic than usual. before, he used to look forward to coming home to you but now you're not even at home so what's the point in even trying. counting down the hours until he gets to leave his cubicle has become futile.

i just really want them back. please come back home.

but when he comes home from a pain achingly long day of work, he doesn't find you and his mood plummets even more.

that is until one day, kuroo is able to leave work early where he comes home and hears the familiar noise of the coffee maker brewing. his eyes shoot up from his slacks to look over at the kitchen where he sees you in all your beauty, fidgeting with the knobs on the coffee machine. your eyes both lock and you immediately look away.

kuroo thought you were gone for good. and the fact that you were only a couple feet away from him made his heart swell and his eyes water. there's so much to say but his not a single word is escaping his mouth.

"you want some coffee? i just started a new batch," you finally say to fill up the silence of the room.

he gulps, "sure yeah."

you grab a coffee cup and pour him a fresh cup of coffee and slide it to him across the kitchen counter, avoiding getting too close to him.

too nervous to even touch his drink, he begins to address the elephant in the room, "y/n, i'm so sorry for what i said that night. i had no right to speak to you in the manner."

"it's okay," you say in a curt manner. "i get it."

he shakes his head and tries to get closer to you to convey his feelings but is stopped when he sees you take a step back. his heart cracks.

"no it's not okay sweetheart. i've been so busy with work and i just got super overwhelmed with everything and-"

"kuroo, you know you don't have to make any excuses right?" you interrupt his train of thought.

he's confused now. "excuses? y/n what are you even talking about- "

"just end it with me already... i know you want to," you say, looking down at the fresh cup of coffee in your hands. "you made that very clear."

his world freezes.

the world becomes completely silent.

his mouth is slightly open, caught off guard. he doesn't know what to say.

however, you interpret his silence as him putting down the excuses finally and admitting that he doesn't want to put effort into this relationship with you anymore.

hell, he doesn’t even want this relationship with you anymore.

"right, if you won't i will so it's easier for the both of us. i think we should-"

"don't you dare finish that fucking sentence," he moves close to you all of a sudden and his familiar lingering cheap cologne smell takes up your senses. the gears begin to click in his head before you can respond to him.

kuroo's arms envelop you in his embrace. "i want you. only you. i'm sorry i made you think otherwise."

the tears you've been holding back for the past couple minutes standing in front of him overflow and you feel like the world is about to end.

you push kuroo off you slightly. "i know you've been busy with work and i just wanted to spend some time with you. i never meant to come off as clingy but clearly you thought so so-"

"i'm just a complete douche,” he interrupts. “you were trying to help me out and make me feel better and i was so caught up with work, i couldn't appreciate that."

"i never want to ever make you feel that way again. you never deserved to hear any of that from me and everything i said couldn't be far from the truth. your presence has never been a bother and if anything, coming home to you is the best part of my day.”

“i shouldn't have let my emotions get the best of me and i'm so sorry that it did and that i hurt you in the process. i hate that i’m the reason behind your tears and i’ll do everything to make it up to you to show you how much i love you."

the tears from your eyes continue to flow and he delicately wipes every single one from your eyes kissing your cheek every time without fail.

"are you sure you don’t find me suffocating? you said that you hated being home with me though so i just thought-" you start to say.

"i will spend my entire life reassuring you that it isn’t true. i promise you are never suffocating me and your presence never fails to make me feel better on a shitty day. i will do anything to regain your trust and faith in me,” he adamantly speaks with his hands in yours.

hearing his determined resolve, the tears flow even more.

"i love you so much, tetsu."

"i love you too baby," he smiles and delicately kisses your lips. "now let's go out. how do you feel about going out for dinner? i’ve got a lot of making up to you to do."

"i'll never say no to that."

bokuto koutaro

the msby jackals lost 2-0 sets and the entire team was taking the loss hard but no one as hard as bokuto.

"bokuto-san, what do you think went wrong today's game?" an interviewer asks with his notepad out, scribbling notes.

"er, uh, well, today was just a rough day and i had a tough time keeping up with the opponent's plays today... it just was not a good day."

"i have one more question," the interviewer asks.

"go ahead," he gruffs out.

"you are known for your infamous line shots especially during deciding moments of the game. you missed multiple of these shots during today's game. were you distracted during this game? is it because of your new relationship status or were-"

bokuto is now riled up. who the hell does this interviewer think he is to corner me and bring in my personal life???

"i'm leaving, fuck this shit," he spits out, trying his best to maintain his composure.

in frustration, bokuto storms out of the press conference room, slamming the double doors, heading towards the locker room to grab his stuff but is stopped by you, running after him.

"kou! wait up!" you say from a distance and he stops in his tracks to look at you. he's still internally raging from the provocative behavior of that interviewer and he feels like he just might lose it.

"what do you want," he says in an aggressive manner that catches you off guard.

you’re aware of the recent loss of the msby jackals. you know that's probably taking a toll on his confidence as a player so you're trying to be as supportive as you can.

"you wanna come back to my place? i was thinking we could watch that one disney movie you like and we could bake something together too? what do you think?"

"why do you always want to fucking hang out?" he says in the lowest tone of voice you've ever heard from him.

it sends shivers down your spine.

"huh?" you're just confused at this point.

"why are you so fucking clingy all the time? it's always 'kou come over!' or 'kou let's watch a movie!' or 'kou let's take a nap together!' like don't you fucking get that i have a genuine career that i'm working really hard to be successful in?"

so that's what he thinks of me.

"i know you want to be a pro volleyball player and i want to support you the entire way. i was just trying to be there for you and help you relax..." you trail. "i get today was really rough for you.."

"that's the thing you don't get it, y/n!" he says exasperatedly. "if you did want to be supportive for me and my career, then you would stop being so all up on me and give my space!"

he walks into the locker room, slamming the door, shaking you up.

in defeat, you begin to leave the stadium with tears brimming your eyes. as you get in your car, you put your head on the steering wheel and suddenly, the tears start to stream out.

"i'll give him his space. i'll just stop everything. i'm nothing of importance to him or his life so it's best if i just stop." you convince yourself.

bokuto, on the other hand, is in the locker room, holding back tears of frustration as he punched one of the lockers.

fuck, what am i even doing right now...

"bokuto-san! let's head out for the night," shoyo's voice can be heard before he can be seen in the locker room. "we're gonna go get drinks and dinner at that new barbecue place that opened up."

he looks up from the bench and smiles at shoyo along with the rest of his teammates that are nodding along in support.

"yeah, sure. fine with me," kou responds with a small smile on his face.

as bokuto and the rest of the jackals are out and about, he keeps looking at his phone in hopes of getting a message or something from you but you're completely radio silent after the spat between the two of you.

he knows you both had a disagreement but he thought you knew that he was just frustrated and upset with the game. he didn't think it was a reason to just go silent on him.

he sends a text to test the waters.

kou <3: babe, we're good right?

he puts his phone down and engages back in the dinner with the rest of the jackals.

an hour has passed yet still no response. it's starting to make him fidgety so he decides to spam you.

kou <3: hello?

kou <3: baby wya???

kou <3: where is the loml at :((

kou <3: BABYYYYYYY

kou <3: POOKIE PLS TXT ME BACK :(((

y/n is typing...

y/n: sry i was getting ready for bed.

you sounded distant. you clearly were upset but was it still about the argument? c'mon you knew he didn't mean what he said... right?

kou <3: ITS OKAY BABY! can i come over? i wanna spend the night with u :,)

kou <3: i miss you

y/n: maybe not tonight... i think it's best if we're by ourselves for a bit

bokuto's hair significantly drooped down, seeing as how he got rejected to hang out with you for the night.

as bokuto heads over to his apartment for the night, he stares at the bedroom ceiling with his thoughts. he misses laying next to his baby. that's when he starts to replay everything that went down between the two of you.

he genuinely can't figure out what went wrong.

he prays that this whole thing will just blow over by tomorrow because he misses you incredibly and just wants to spend time with you.

unfortunately to his demise, you kept shutting down all of kou's efforts to come over. you refused to pick up his calls, resorting to half assed texts.

this whole argument was festering and bokuto had to fix it immediately.

you, however, want nothing more than to spend time with your boyfriend but his words kept running through your mind on loop. anytime you would be sitting alone with yourself, his words kept playing themselves on loop in your brain, making you overthink the post couple months you’ve spent together.

has he always thought of me as clingy? have i always been a bother to him? have i always been super annoying in his eyes?

that was until you heard a knock on the door.

you open the door and see kou standing there in a hoodie and a pair of khakis with a large bouquet of assorted flowers in his hands. his eyes lock with yours while yours widen in surprise.

"k-kou! what are you doing here?" you say in surprise.

"what, i can't see my partnet now?" he retorts lightheartedly. "let me in."

too stunned to even reject him, your hand inherently finds its way to the knob, widening the door so bokuto can fit through into your apartment.

he tries to hand you the flowers but you stand there, hands refusing to move from their sides. "c'mon babe, i got them for you! do you not like them? man, i knew i should've gotten the roses instead."

"no no! thank you so much kou.. i'm just surprised that you even got this for me..." you trail off looking away from him.

he sets the flowers on the kitchen counter and tilts his head in confusion. "what do you mean, y/n?"

"listen, i know you don't really like spending time with me and that you feel obligated to but honestly, we really don't have to hang out or anything like that," you begin to say. "i know i can be a lot sometimes and i'm really working on trying to give you space."

that's when it all clicks in his head for him.

"baby, is this about what i said that day in the gym?" he questions.

you turn away, refusing to even look him in the eye because you know the moment your eyes lock with his, the tears will start streaming down your face.

"baby, no, please," he goes over to you to give you the warmest yet tightest hug possible. "i’m also a very clingy person so i should've known how much my words must have hurt you. i've been so stupid to not see how badly my words must have impacted you, my love. i'm so so sorry for saying and acting the way i did. it's unexcusable."

"no kou it's fine i just-" you say but are interrupted midsentence.

"no, y/n it's not," he says, tears brimming his eyes ever since coming to terms with how hurt you must've been feeling this entire time. "i'll do anything to get your forgiveness and for us to just... be close again. i'll do anything, i mean it."

tears are streaming down both your faces and you can't help but form a wobbly smile on your lips. "pinky promise?"

"pinky promise," kou says as he locks pinkies with you and kisses the top of your head. "now let's cuddle because i've missed being near the love of my life."

© tetsumie 2024 all rights reserved 

[ilylovelyz]

⍣ ೋ i'm sprung

˚ · . bokuto koutaro x afab!reader

: ̗̀➛ virginity loss, both characters are 18 but in highschool, protected sex, marking, handjob, fingering

ah, fuck-, is all bokuto can think or say.

his mind is swirling with such emotions at the moment, hazy and unclear. he thinks back as to how he had won a big game earlier, and was so happy to see you so proud of him.

the two of you planned to go to your house afterwards, get some pizza to celebrate and watch the clips of his earlier game.

you gave him a sweet "victory" kiss on his cheek, making the boy blush happily. you gave him another victory kiss, although this time on his nose top. and then another, but this time on the corner of his lips.

"just give me my victory kiss already.." bokuto whined. you laughed at his anticipation. his hand came to rest on your nape as he realized that he was going to have to do it himself.

you gasped into the kiss. it wasn't just a sweet little kiss. no, it was much more than that. although slow at first, it quickly turned into something much more. he kissed you with such want and fevour, his hands keeping you from pulling away.

tongue dancing with tongue, salivating down each other's chins. your hands gripped at his shoulder, trying to ground yourself from the dizzying kiss.

a sweet victory kiss turned into much more.

now, your hand is wrapped around his girth, fucking his cock with the soft skin of your palm. his hips buckle and tremble into it, gasps occasionally leaving his mouth when you teasingly poke and prod at his sensitive tip.

his own hand lays underneath your black panties, his fingers exploring your sex. you pull away from your heated kiss, a string of saliva keeping the two of you attached. you can't help but bite your lip when his middle finger slips into your virgin hole, the new sensation burning painfully up your spine.

"ah," you cry, your free hand gripping onto his wrist. "sorry baby," he murmurs, kissing the apple of your cheek. he watches you with low eyes, only closing when your hand tightens around his length.

his middle finger experiments with you, slowly stretching you out. it's only when the pain seems to subside when he adds another into your virgin hole. bokuto grins at the sight of your back arching, soft moans leaving your pouty lips.

he's quick to speed up inside you, his fingers working to find that sweet spot he heard of when scrolling various forms online.

he knows he found it when your head lolls back, cute face scrunching up into a silent moan. "f-feel good baby?" he teases. although you can't really take him seriously when his voice cracks from the way he tries to resist cummimg all over your palm from just watching your face.

"feels good kou.." you cry. "good, t-thats fucking good." he grunts out. just a little more, he has to remind himself. he feels like his cock is about to explode from the way he's resisting the urge to cum. his lady always come first.

with the touch of his finger tip pressing against that sweet spot of yours so tightly it has a wave of pleasure coming over you, your pussy walls clamping tightly around his fingers. bokuto's head dips down with relief when he finally cums over your delicate hand, grunting loudly with pleasure.

"fuck.." he breathes out, looking closely at the fingers you came on, all covered with your cum. he doesn't hold back, he immediately begins to shamelessly drink up your juices despite your embarrassed disapprovals.

"don't be ashamed baby, you taste so good." he smiles, making strong eye contact with you. bokuto has to hold back a smirk when he watches your cheeks go red with his lewd comment. for now, he can only feel his cock twitch at your innocence.

he was about to pull away from you entirely to go look for tissues before your hand grabs at his shirt. he looks back at you with a confused expression, seeing how your flushed. "...are we not gonna do it?" you whisper. bokuto dumly blinks at you in response, his jaw agape slightly.

"y-you wanna do it?" he asks, his face inching closer to yours. "..are you sure?" he asks once more when you nod your head slowly. "well we've been dating for almost a year.. don't you think it's about time?" you point out, feeling more confident in the situation.

bokuto gulps nervously, but at the same time, he can't help but feel 2x more aroused than earlier. "are you sure?" he asks once again, he just has to make sure you're serious. "i'm sure dummy!" you giggle, smiling softly at his check-up.

"do.. we have condoms?" he thinks out loud. "yes, i bought some the other day. i knew you were gonna win the match so.. i just wanted to be prepared." you say nonchalantly, rolling over to the nightstand and pulling out an unopened box of condoms.

he could bust a nut at your preplanning right now. he grabs the condoms from you, but before he opens one he looks at you one more. his eyebrows are furrowed lightly, although he's hornier than ever before and wants to fuck his adorable little girlfriend so bad, your needs and wants still to come first.

seeing your intentness, he finally rips open the condom. his heart is pounding so fast, his trembling hands trying to fish the lubed condom out of the seal. once he finally gets it out, he strokes his cock unconsciouslly a few times before he rolls the condom on.

bokuto shuffles towards you, his hips pressing against your inner thighs. with a final look at you, he pushes the tip in everso slowly.

his head snaps back up to you, his heart breaking at your pained cries. his cock is big, he wishes it wouldn't hurt for you. he inches his cock in little by little, trying to shake off his own body trembling with every inch that slides into your tight walls.

he feels like he's being suffocated, being hugged so tightly from within he thinks he's gonna pass out. he only breathes out when he bottoms out fully, letting out a huge sigh of relief when he feels your pussy contracting and tightening around his full length.

bokuto reaches a hand down to your own, bringing it up to place a gentle kiss on the back of your palm. you bring your hand up to his nape, bringing him down to embrace him into a kiss.

with that, he slowly rocks his hips into yours, inhaling deeply into the passionate kiss he shares with you. bokuto pulls away with a low groan, his forehead resting against yours when he slides himself back into you.

he reaches a hand underneath your bra, fondling the soft flesh with shaky hands. bokuto rests his head in the crook of your neck, suckling and biting onto the delicate flesh, leaving marks that have his cock throbbing within you.

before the two of you can even comprehend, the both of you are humping against each other like dogs in heat. your hands scratch and pull at the skin of bokuto's broad back, feeling every bone and strong muscle underneath your finger tips. "fuck- you feel so good, y/n." he rasps out, pulling away from your embrace to plant his hand beside your head, looking down at you drunkingly.

he can't even think straight, he clenches his eyes closed with every pulse of your pussy does around his cock. his hips slam into yours, desperately chasing his release.

when he opens his eyes, he almost cums at the way you play with your own boobs with one hand, and your clit with another. "you're so-so sexy, s-shit, i'm gonna cum y/n-", he barely chokes out, his free hand comimg to grab and grope at your body.

"m-me too kou!" you moan out, your mouth agape with a loud moan as another orgasm washes over you, toes curling tightly as you enter cloud nine. "o-oh f-uck!" he manages to say before he's finally spilling his release inside the condom, his hips pathetically humping and grinding against yours like some dog.

bokuto is left loudly gasping and huffing for air, his orgasm leaving him trembling and weak. he barely as any strength left when he pulls his limp cock out of your sensitive walls, falling over to the side of you.

you hum contently, still out of breath nonetheless. he comes to rest his head against your neck, purring like a cat when your hands come to scratch his broad back.

how amazing.

please leave a like and repost with tags if you enjoyed!!

[444mera]

CHRONICALLY ONLINE!

hey, you've reached suna. leave a message at the beep.

after a week straight of being holed up in the dorm working on your finals, with an annoyingly noisy next-door neighbor at that, you're finally out at a party. with the stress of piling assignments, deadly deadlines, and an infuriating neighbor who you've endlessly tried to confront but somehow have never seen the face of — it was time to get drunk. usually, the more alcohol you drink, the more single you feel; you're blackout drunk. now flirting with the guy you've been eyeing the whole night, everything's going well. but why does his voice sound so familiar?

pairing: suna rintarou x f!reader

status: ongoing (started may 31, 2024)

genre: 18+ romance, smau + written

tags: social media au, college au, strangers to lovers, crack, fluff, angst, smut if i feel like it

warnings: swearing, alcohol, drug use (marijuana), suggestive and sexual themes, probably a lot of kms jokes/crude humour

taglist is open! comment to be tagged :)

profiles:

art students (and atsumu) | Freaky Singles Looking For Love (18+)

teasers:

semi's gig | where's bo taking us this time?

the setup.

01. hashtag pregame

02. a breath of fresh...vodka

03. that was me last night?

04. regrets, regrets, and more regrets

05. a user wants to send you a message

06. that was you the other night?

07.

08.

09.

10.

the confrontation.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

☆ mera's mail ! hey divas this is my first actual smau (but i've always wanted to make one lol!) i've regressed into my 2020-2022 haikyuu phase and i've been trying to look for smaus to no avail ... so i decided to make my own instead because i'm self-indulgent like that. ALSO the cover photo for this took me an egregious amount of time because i had to start over so i hope y'all like it. recommend some series' you think i'd enjoy! you can send me questions, suggestions, etc. in my ask too. i am also very open to moots mwahahah

[kiesbrainjuice]

— CRAWLING BACK TO YOU ! bokuto kotaro

➥ syn : the volleyball captain finally realizes his feelings for you and confess in a…crawling way

➥ wc : 3.4k

➥ tw : just a crawling to the windows bokuto :)

➥ a/n : I FOUND A BIG IDEA even if I was in a lack of inspo since…days. Lmaooo enjoy reading ;)

The routine started innocently enough, just another day at Fukurodani Academy. The gymnasium buzzed with a symphony of sounds - volleyballs smacking against the polished floor, sneakers squeaking, and the cacophony of voices echoing off the high ceilings. Amidst this controlled chaos, one voice rang out above the rest, unmistakable in its enthusiasm and volume.

"Hey, hey, hey! Did you see that spike? It was like 'whoosh' and then 'bam'!"

Bokuto Koutarou, the ace and captain of Fukurodani's volleyball team, stood at the center of it all, his arms spread wide as if to embrace the entire gym. His hair, defying gravity in its trademark owl-like style, seemed to quiver with excitement. His golden eyes sparkled with an almost childlike glee that was infectious, spreading to his teammates like wildfire.

You couldn't help but smile as you leaned against the gym's entrance, your bag slung over your shoulder. This daily visit had become a cherished part of your routine, a moment of brightness before the long school day ahead. What had started as mere curiosity about the boisterous volleyball team had evolved into something more, something that centered around the whirlwind of energy that was Bokuto.

As if sensing your presence, Bokuto's head swiveled towards you, his face breaking into an even wider grin. "Hey! You're here!" he shouted, waving enthusiastically.

You waved back, your heart doing a little flip in your chest. It was time for your daily ritual.

Sauntering over to where Bokuto stood, you took in his appearance - the way his practice shirt clung to his muscular frame, the slight sheen of sweat on his forehead, the way his hair somehow remained perfectly styled despite the rigorous practice.

"Morning, Bokuto," you said, infusing your voice with a teasing lilt. "I see your hair is defying the laws of physics as usual. What's your secret? Super glue?"

Bokuto blinked, then let out a booming laugh that reverberated through the gym. "Nah, it's all natural! Cool, right?" He ran a hand through his spikes, preening slightly. "Maybe I was just born to be a star!"

You chuckled, shaking your head. "Oh, definitely. You're practically glowing." Your tone was playful, but there was a hint of sincerity in your words that you couldn't quite hide.

However, as always, the nuance seemed to fly right over Bokuto's head. He beamed at you, taking your words at face value. "Thanks! I did have a good breakfast this morning. Gotta fuel up to be the ace, you know!"

You nodded sagely, fighting back a fond smile. "Of course. Can't have our star player running on empty."

This was how it always went. You'd drop a flirtatious comment, and Bokuto would respond with endearing obliviousness. It was frustrating at times, but you couldn't deny the charm in his innocent reactions. There was something refreshing about his straightforward nature, his inability to pick up on subtle cues. In a world of complex social dynamics and hidden meanings, Bokuto was an open book - one that you found yourself wanting to read over and over again.

As the days passed, your flirtations became bolder, your compliments more direct. Yet, Bokuto remained blissfully unaware, accepting your words with the same enthusiastic gratitude he showed when receiving a perfect set on the court.

One particularly memorable morning, you decided to up your game. Bokuto had just executed a powerful spike, the ball slamming onto the other side of the court with a resounding 'thwack'. As his teammates cheered, you caught his eye and gave him a slow, deliberate wink.

"Nice kill, ace," you called out, your voice low and appreciative. "You know, you're pretty amazing when you're all fired up like that."

Bokuto's chest puffed up with pride, but his response was as innocently enthusiastic as ever. "Thanks! I feel like I could take on the whole world right now!" He pumped his fist in the air, oblivious to the double meaning in your words.

You sighed inwardly, equal parts amused and exasperated. It was like flirting with a particularly cheerful brick wall.

It wasn't until a quiet afternoon, when the usual bustle of the gym had died down, that things began to shift. Practice had been particularly grueling that day, and even Bokuto's seemingly endless reserves of energy seemed depleted. He sat on the bench, absent-mindedly toweling off his sweat-dampened hair, his usual vibrant demeanor subdued.

Akaashi Keiji, the team's setter and Bokuto's closest friend, observed him with a mix of concern and curiosity. It was rare to see Bokuto so contemplative, and Akaashi knew from experience that a quiet Bokuto often preceded either a brilliant insight or a spectacular mood swing.

"Something on your mind, Bokuto-san?" Akaashi asked, his voice calm and measured as always.

Bokuto looked up, seeming almost surprised to find Akaashi there. He opened his mouth as if to speak, then closed it again, his brow furrowing in concentration. Finally, he blurted out, "Akaashi, you're smart about people stuff, right?"

Akaashi blinked, taken aback by the sudden question. "I... suppose so. Why do you ask?"

Bokuto ran a hand through his hair, a gesture that betrayed his nervousness. "It's about [y/n]," he said, his voice uncharacteristically hesitant. "She come around a lot, right?"

Akaashi nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He had noticed your frequent visits and the way you interacted with Bokuto. Unlike his captain, Akaashi was perceptive enough to recognize flirtation when he saw it. "Yes, she does," he confirmed, wondering where Bokuto was going with this.

"Well," Bokuto continued, his words coming out in a rush, "she always says these things. Nice things, you know? About my hair, or my plays, or just... me. And it feels different from when other people say nice things. It makes me feel all..." He gestured vaguely at his chest, struggling to find the right words.

Akaashi's smile grew a little wider. "Warm? Fluttery?" he suggested gently.

Bokuto's eyes widened. "Yeah! Exactly! How did you know?"

Akaashi took a deep breath, realizing that he was about to open Bokuto's eyes to a whole new world. "Bokuto-san," he said carefully, "have you considered that [y/n] might be flirting with you?"

The look of utter bewilderment on Bokuto's face would have been comical if it weren't so genuine. "Flirting?" he repeated, as if the word was foreign to him. "Like... trying to be my friend?"

Akaashi couldn't help but chuckle softly. "Not exactly," he explained patiently. "Flirting is a way of showing romantic interest in someone. It's like... testing the waters to see if there's a mutual attraction."

Bokuto's jaw dropped, his eyes growing impossibly wide. "Romantic interest? You mean... [y/n] might like me? Like, like-like me?"

Akaashi nodded, amused by Bokuto's childlike phrasing but touched by his innocent reaction. "It's very possible. She's been giving you a lot of compliments and attention. Those are often signs of flirting."

Bokuto fell silent, a rare occurrence that Akaashi knew signaled deep thought. He could almost see the gears turning in Bokuto's head as he replayed every interaction with you in this new light.

After a long moment, Bokuto spoke again, his voice uncharacteristically quiet. "Akaashi... I think I might like her too. Like, like-like her."

Akaashi felt a surge of affection for his friend. For all his bravado on the court, Bokuto could be endearingly vulnerable when it came to matters of the heart. "That's great, Bokuto-san," he said warmly. "Have you thought about telling her how you feel?"

Excitement flashed across Bokuto's face, his golden eyes lighting up with newfound understanding. "Tell her? Of course! Why didn't I think of that before? This is gonna be great!"

Akaashi blinked, a bit taken aback by Bokuto's sudden enthusiasm. "You're... not worried about how she might respond?"

Bokuto let out his signature booming laugh. "Worried? Nah! I'm the ace, aren't I? I've got this!" He puffed out his chest, his earlier doubts completely forgotten. "Besides, [y/n] is always saying nice things to me. She's gotta like me, right?"

A small smile tugged at Akaashi's lips. This was the Bokuto he knew - confident, enthusiastic, and ready to take on any challenge. "Well, if you're sure, Bokuto-san. Just remember to be respectful of her feelings, whatever she may be."

"Hey, hey, hey! Of course I will!" Bokuto exclaimed, jumping to his feet with renewed energy. "I'm gonna sweep her off their feet with my awesome confession! It'll be like my best spike ever, but with words!"

As practice wound down and the team began to disperse, Bokuto's mind was buzzing with excitement. He replayed every interaction with you, seeing them in a new light. The compliments, the lingering glances, the way you always seemed to seek him out - it all made perfect sense now.

The next morning dawned bright and clear, matching Bokuto's mood as he practically bounced into the gym. His enthusiasm was palpable, radiating off him in waves that his teammates couldn't help but notice.

"Someone's in a good mood," Konoha remarked, raising an eyebrow at Bokuto's even-more-exuberant-than-usual demeanor.

"Of course I am!" Bokuto exclaimed, his grin threatening to split his face. "Today's gonna be awesome!"

As the team began their warm-ups, Bokuto's eyes kept darting to the gym entrance. Any moment now, you would walk in, and he would sweep you off your feet with his amazing confession. He had it all planned out in his head - he'd stride up to you confidently, flash his best smile, and tell you exactly how he felt. It was foolproof.

But when you finally did appear in the doorway, something unexpected happened. Bokuto felt his words die in his throat.

You stood there, backlit by the morning sun streaming through the windows, and Bokuto felt as if he was seeing you for the first time. Your hair caught the light, creating a soft halo effect. Your eyes sparkled with warmth as they met his, and your smile - that smile he'd seen a hundred times before - suddenly seemed to hold the secrets of the universe.

"Morning, Bokuto!" you called out cheerfully, completely unaware of the internal crisis you'd just sparked in the volleyball captain.

Bokuto opened his mouth to respond, but no sound came out. His mind, usually filled with thoughts of volleyball and little else, was now entirely occupied by you. He noticed things he'd never paid attention to before - the way you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, the gentle curve of your neck, the grace in your movements as you walked towards him.

"Bokuto?" you asked, your brow furrowing in concern as you approached. "Are you okay? You're being awfully quiet."

Bokuto nodded dumbly, still unable to form words. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. He was supposed to be confident, charismatic, sweeping you off your feet with his awesome confession. Instead, he found himself struck silent, in awe of your presence in a way he'd never experienced before.

From across the gym, Akaashi watched the scene unfold with a mixture of amusement and sympathy. He'd never seen Bokuto so flustered before, especially not in front of you.

"Earth to Bokuto," you waved a hand in front of his face, your tone a mix of amusement and worry. "Did you lose your voice or something?"

Bokuto shook his head, trying to snap out of his daze. "N-no, I'm fine!" he finally managed to stammer out. "Just... thinking about... volleyball stuff!"

You raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying it, but decided to let it slide. "Okay, if you say so. Well, don't let me interrupt your practice. I just wanted to say hi before class."

As you turned to leave, Bokuto felt a surge of panic. This was his chance, he had to say something! But all that came out was a weak, "Bye!"

You glanced back, giving him a slightly puzzled smile before heading out of the gym. Bokuto watched you go, his heart pounding in his chest.

emo mode activated.

Once you were out of sight, he slumped to the floor, burying his face in his hands. "Akaashi!" he wailed, loud enough for the entire team to hear. "What just happened?"

Akaashi jogged over, crouching down beside his captain. "I believe, Bokuto-san," he said gently, "that you just experienced what it's like to be truly smitten."

Bokuto peeked out from between his fingers, his golden eyes wide with confusion and a hint of fear. "But... but I had a plan! I was going to be all cool and stuff! Instead, I just... froze up!"

Akaashi patted Bokuto's shoulder comfortingly. "It happens to the best of us, Bokuto-san. Sometimes, when we realize how much we care about someone, it can be overwhelming."

Bokuto slowly lowered his hands, his expression shifting from distress to determination. "Then... then I'll just have to try again! Yeah! I won't let this setback defeat me!"

As Bokuto jumped to his feet, his usual energy returning, Akaashi couldn't help but smile. This was going to be an interesting journey for his captain, and he had a feeling it was far from over.

"Alright, everyone!" Bokuto shouted, his voice echoing through the gym. "Let's practice hard! I've got a confession to nail!"

The team exchanged confused glances, but shrugged and got back to their drills. After all, this was Bokuto - and with him, anything could happen.

The moon hung low in the sky, casting long shadows across the quiet streets. Bokuto trudged home, his usual boundless energy depleted after an especially grueling practice. He'd pushed himself harder than ever, trying to work out the frustration of his failed confession attempt.

As he walked, his mind wandered back to you. The way you'd looked in the morning sunlight, the concern in your eyes when he'd fumbled his words, the gentle curve of your smile as you'd said goodbye. Each memory sent a flutter through his chest, a sensation he was still getting used to.

Suddenly, Bokuto stopped in his tracks. A memory hit him like a spike to the face - that time you'd walked home together because he'd discovered you lived in the same neighborhood. Without a second thought, he pivoted on his heel and broke into a run, his exhaustion forgotten.

The streets blurred past as Bokuto sprinted, his heart pounding with a mixture of exertion and anticipation. He skidded around corners, narrowly avoiding a stray cat, until finally, he found himself on your street.

Panting heavily, Bokuto approached your house. The lights were still on in what he remembered was your bedroom. For a moment, doubt crept in. What was he doing? It was late, you were probably getting ready for bed, and here he was, about to...

Well, he wasn't entirely sure what he was about to do. But he was Bokuto Koutarou, and backing down wasn't in his nature.

With the agility of the ace spiker he was, Bokuto began to scale the side of your house. He'd never been more grateful for his athletic prowess as he carefully made his way up, using drainpipes and window ledges as handholds. 

Finally, he reached your window. Through the glass, he could see you sitting at your desk, engrossed in a book. You were wearing soft-looking pajamas, your hair slightly mussed, and Bokuto felt his heart skip a beat at the sight.

Taking a deep breath, he rapped his knuckles against the glass.

The effect was instantaneous. You jumped in your chair, the book flying from your hands as you whirled to face the window. Your eyes widened in shock as you recognized Bokuto, perched precariously outside your second-story window.

For a moment, you just stared at each other, the absurdity of the situation rendering you both speechless. Then, snapping out of your shock, you rushed to open the window.

"Bokuto?!" you hissed, your voice a mix of concern and disbelief. "What on earth are you doing? Get in here before you fall!"

You helped him clamber through the window, your hands gripping his arm tightly as if afraid he might tumble backward at any moment. Once he was safely inside, you stepped back, crossing your arms over your chest.

"Okay, explain," you demanded, your brow furrowed. "Why are you climbing through my window at..." you glanced at your clock, "11:30 at night?"

Bokuto stood there, suddenly very aware that he was in your bedroom, with you in your pajamas, looking adorably rumpled and confused. He opened his mouth, then closed it again, words failing him for the second time that day.

"I... uh..." he stammered, his usual confidence deserting him once again. His eyes darted around your room, taking in the volleyball posters (including one of him, which made his heart leap), the neatly organized bookshelf, the stuffed owl on your bed that he'd won for you at a festival last year.

You sighed, your expression softening. "Bokuto, are you okay? You've been acting strange all day. First, you barely said a word this morning, and now you're scaling buildings in the middle of the night. What's going on?"

Something in your tone, the genuine concern in your eyes, seemed to flip a switch in Bokuto. He stood up straighter, his golden eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that made your breath catch.

"[Y/N]," he said, his voice steady and filled with his usual enthusiasm. "I like you!"

The words hung in the air between you, Bokuto's chest heaving as if he'd just finished a five-set match.

"I mean," he continued, the words now flowing freely, "I really, really like you. Akaashi made me realize it yesterday, and then this morning you looked so beautiful I couldn't even speak, which never happens to me, you know? And I've been thinking about you all day, about how you always come to watch our practices, and how you laugh at my jokes, and how you make me feel all 'gwah' inside."

He paused, taking a deep breath before flashing you his trademark grin. "So yeah, I like you. A lot. And I climbed up here tonight because I couldn't wait another minute to tell you. Because you're amazing, and I want to spike all my tosses for you, if you know what I mean."

As his words sank in, your shocked expression slowly transformed. A blush crept across your cheeks, and a smile began to tug at the corners of your mouth.

"Bokuto," you said softly, your voice filled with warmth. "I like you too. I've been trying to tell you for months now."

Bokuto's eyes widened, his grin growing impossibly wider. "Really? That's... that's awesome! Hey he-"

His exuberant shout echoed through your quiet room, and you quickly placed a hand over his mouth, your eyes wide with alarm.

"Shh!" you whispered urgently, your heart racing. "My family is sleeping, and they definitely don't need to know that a boy climbed into my room tonight!"

Bokuto's eyes widened in understanding, and you felt his lips curve into a smile beneath your palm. Slowly, you removed your hand, your fingertips grazing his lips in a way that sent a shiver down your spine.

"Sorry," he whispered, his voice unusually soft. "I got excited. But can you blame me? The girl I like just said she likes me back!"

You couldn't help but smile at his enthusiasm, even as you glanced nervously at your bedroom door. "I do like you, Bokuto. A lot. But maybe next time, try confessing at a more reasonable hour? And preferably through the front door?"

Bokuto grinned sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. "Yeah, I guess I got a little carried away. But hey, it worked, didn't it?"

As you both stood there, smiling at each other in the dim light of your bedroom, the full absurdity of the situation hit you. Here was Bokuto, the boy you'd been pining after for months, standing in your bedroom in the middle of the night, having just confessed his feelings for you in the most Bokuto way possible.

Your heart swelled with affection. Despite the late hour, despite the risk of getting caught, despite the unconventional method - or perhaps because of all these things - this moment felt perfect. It was so utterly, completely Bokuto, and you wouldn't have had it any other way.

"So," Bokuto whispered, his golden eyes twinkling with mischief and joy, "what happens now?"

You glanced at your clock, then back at Bokuto, a mix of excitement and nervousness fluttering in your stomach. This was just the beginning, and you had a feeling life with Bokuto was going to be quite an adventure.

Ⓒkiesbrainjuice all rights reserved. please to not plagiarize, repost, or translate !

tag : @haechansbbg

[solzscribblez]

haikyuu love island

a set of mini-series about the haikyuu boys on love island...

the islanders:

ushijima wakatoshi (26), professional volleyball player

iwaizumi hajime (27), athletic trainer - coming soon!

bokuto koutarou - coming soon!

sakusa kiyoomi - coming soon!

miya osamu - coming soon!

miya atsumu - coming soon!

suna rintarou - coming soon!

matsukawa issei - coming soon!

kozume kenma - coming soon!

akaashi keiji - coming soon!

oikawa tooru - coming soon!

more coming soon!

shoutout to @reignsaway for listening to me build this in your dms for the past week!!

lmk if there's any characters you want to see here! i plan on adding more as i come up with stories for them.

dividers from @/strangergraphics

[mrs-kodzuken]

anything for you ⟢ bokuto k.

synopsis: dating pro!volleyball player Bokuto Koutarou meant that you dealt with a lot of hate that you didn't expect. That lead to a severe newly developed eating disorder that you hid away from your boyfriend, until he found out.

warnings: eating disorder, starving, recovery, healthy meals, emotionally intelligent Bokuto helps you, social media hate, comfort, angst and fluff

This is the sixth day you've gone without food; you could feel hunger pains slowly drifting away. You dreaded the next time they would come, begging for nutrients. Swallowing another sip of diet coke, you didn't worry about it.

After all, you have always told yourself that being skinny means being pretty.

How you desperately wanted to be pretty. How you craved it more than anything else. And fuck, it did hurt to have to keep this newfound development away from your boyfriend, Bokuto.

You both have been in a relationship for almost two years now. You remember that fateful day where you had met him by accident after going to a game for your cousin who loved a certain volleyball player.

You couldn't remember who exactly it was because you were just so captivated by the tall and muscular player who was rumbustious and oozed masculinity.

He had caught your eye and unbeknownst to you, you had also caught his as well. At the end of the game, when he was finished with interviews about his teams' win, he actually came up to you instead to talk about how long you've been a fan.

"Oh! This is my first game, I'm actually here with my cousin." You nervously chuckled, the large volleyball player in front of you making you feel giddy.

"Hey, hey, hey! Did you like my skills? Since you're new can you really tell me how it looked?" The man exclaimed, he sure was a wild one, you could already tell that.

His owlish black and white hair streaks paired with his aureolin colored, astonishing eyes. He sure was definitely blessed, not just in his physical appearance but in his game play too.

You made sure to tell him just that, especially when he scored points for his team. You weren't really sure of volleyball lingo, but you knew that he was unquestionably an eminent player.

"So, would you mind going to dinner with me? I'd love to talk more with you in some place that isn't crowded." He slyly asked, smooth moving into asking you out.

Who are you to say no to someone like him?

In the end, you agreed, and that first date was one of many that lead up to the point of him asking you to be his girlfriend. In which you obviously said yes. However, coming back to your situation right now, it was a shame that things turned out the way they did.

The more you and Koutarou had been with one another, the more self-conscious you got from social media platforms of his fans calling you all sorts of obscenities.

The main one that got you was being called fat, never in your life where you called that. You were raised to eat regular healthy portions, had your fair share of exercise and quite frankly, you felt confident in your skin, even if you were more on the curvy side of things.

That bit of information made you slowly start harming yourself. You would tell yourself that just skipping one meal wouldn't hurt, besides you didn't need the calories anyway?

Then it was every Tuesday you wouldn't eat, then thrice a week, and so on. The cycle continued until you got sick and had to call out of work.

Surviving on gum packets and diet coke honestly got you nowhere.

You could feel yourself getting skinnier, in which you'd end up pretty in the end. That's what you wanted right?

As you pretended that everything was fine, dandy, and normal, a specific night had made everything flip upside down.

Bokuto was finally home after a traveling season, being gone for three weeks was rough on the both of you. You missed him like crazy and couldn't stand to be away from him but were silently thankful he'd been gone so long for other reasons.

"Hey baby," He pulled you closer on your shared queen-sized bed. The clothes you were wearing were his and thankfully so because hiding your progress was the only way you could keep going.

"What do you want me to order for dinner tonight? I don't want to fret you to cook for me, and besides, I need a little cheat day." Kou groaned at the thought of eating healthy prepped meals, like had been for the weeks he was gone to keep his energy up.

Bokuto had missed you like crazy; he was head over heels for you too. After all, he's the one who asked you out in the first place.

After seeing you that day, in all your glory, you were absolutely beautiful to him. He wasn't sure why he was drawn to you, but he knew that he needed to talk with you and well, that ended up with you both dating, so he didn't mind the outcome.

His eyes were focused on his phone, scrolling through the numerous food restaurants in the area for the both of you to choose from. His hair was damp from the shower he just took, as well as comfy lounge clothes to lay around in.

When he originally came back, something about you was off. He couldn't pinpoint it just yet, he was waiting for you to give a hint, a slip up, something so he could connect with you emotionally.

Koutarou knew he was emotionally helpful and in tune with himself, which was something he only became better at since high school.

The TV played a few loud noises in the background, something to distract your mind from the thoughts of food.

Your mouth watered; your stomach demanded something other than diet coke and a few measly low-cal snacks that boost your energy when you needed to do something. Like needing the energy to entertain Bokuto since he was finally home.

You wanted to hold off on telling Bokuto anything, you knew he'd want you to be healthy and not severely and deathly thin.

But in your mind, that was the definition of pretty, you'd do anything to be good enough for him and being deathly skinny is what everyone on twitter was telling you to do.

You cringed away from his touch a bit, disguising it as just moving around to get comfortable. You didn't want him to know, you feared he would take the only thing that's brought you some security since he's been gone.

"Hm? Oh, I'm not really hungry. I ate a huge breakfast this morning." You lie through your teeth, it sounded believable sure, but Kou was better than that.

He wasn't going to take that bait just yet.

"Oh yeah? That's good baby, what'd you eat? I bet it was something so delicious, like your French toast. Oh, God! I've been craving that so much." Bokuto knew what he was doing, he wasn't dumb, just emotionally smart enough to do something like this to make you admit what was wrong.

Of course he's seen the way you look. Your face was a bit slimmer, you moved less, the dishes looked untouched in the cabinet the same way they were when he left.

If his suspensions were right, this may have gone on longer than he presumed, which kind of stung.

How could you keep something like this away from him? Did you not trust him enough to confide in him and ask for help? You brought him back to the present by answering his question.

"I went out this morning for breakfast when I took a walk." You nonchalantly said, not wanting this conversation to continue any further.

You wanted to say that you needed to take a bath, but he's already seen every part of that dead body you don't bear anymore.

You felt trapped to say the least.

You watched as Bokuto silently turned off the TV and turned towards you with all seriousness. That wasn't a face you saw on a daily basis, you feared what he would say next.

"How long have you been dealing with this eating disorder?" His words made you freeze, your instinct was to lie again. But was it really okay to lie to your boyfriend like this?

"I..I don't know what you're talking about. I told you I went out to eat this morning, Kou." You delude, averting your eyes to stare at the decor you both put on the walls of this shared apartment.

He wraps his hands around your hoodie covered arms and turns you to look at him in the eyes. His own searched yours for the answer, for the why. The smallest bit of anger he possessed when he realized what you were doing was long, long gone by now.

He possessed worry, anxiety, and fear for your health.

"Please, baby, please talk to me about this. I'm not mad, I promise. I'm—I'm just very concerned about you right now." He pleads with you, you can't stand to see that look in his eyes either, those beautiful eyes you fell in love with.

You know you're causing him worry, probably pain too from the way you've lied to him.

You turned away and blew out a sigh, "A while, it's not a big deal. It's... I'm fine. I'm managing it, so—you don't have to worry about it."

"Not a big deal? Not a big deal, Y/n? You've been hurting yourself for whoever knows how long and lied about it. Do you even know what you're doing to yourself? Why? What happened to have made you resort to something as harmful as this?"

"Please... just-just talk with me?" Koutarou implored emotionally, he was trying so hard not to shed tears right now. This was about you, not how you were making him feel. And he'd be damned if he guilt-tripped you like that.

Your eyes welled up with tears you didn't think you were capable of. Starving yourself never made you feel regretful of what you were doing, only carefree that you wouldn't have to be the so-called 'pig' social media referred to you as.

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I just-I needed," You took a deep breath in before trying to continue.

"I just didn't want to hurt you by doing this to myself. I just wanted to be pretty for you." You cried, allowing yourself to actually feel bad and seeing what you were doing in another light. It was horrible, you felt horrible.

"Hey, hey..." He pulled you close, taking your frame into his. He could feel you now, the sheer size of you was smaller now, not too much but noticeably so since he was able to pick you up when you were not starved.

He rocked you back and forth as you cried, mumbling out apologies and small reasons why you did it. Bokuto would get to that later, but for now he needed to comfort you and make sure you both were on the same page of helping you get to recovering.

"I'm always here for you, through thick and thin. Sickness and health." He paused, "I know those are wedding vows, but they work too." He half smiled at you, trying to make you brighten just a bit.

Over the course of the night, it only got worse for you, feeling wise, and better for Koutarou so he could help you get on the path you needed to be.

The words he would always chant had replaced the negativity that encased your thoughts for almost a month.

'I'm always here for you'

They were such simple and kind words that it made you almost tear up every single time too.

Needless to say, recovery was hard. Very fucking hard. You had leaned on Bokuto as your pillar when you pushed yourself to get better and focus on your health instead of anything else.

The nights you wanted to revert back into your unhealthy lifestyle were numerous, but your pillar was always one step ahead to finding a healthy meal and a good path to walk on together after dinner.

Koutarou was exceedingly furious when he had asked for you to tell him what the reason was that you did this to yourself.

The why.

And he wasn’t prepared for you to pull out your phone and open twitter, the app you would usually go to when the hunger pains got too much.

He scrolled through your feed, seeing nothing but rudeness towards you, ridiculing you, tearing your person down when you have not even done anything.

He was so enraged that he sent out a public message without speaking to his publicist first, noting in his head that he needed to check with them about these comments of his girlfriend he’s been with since forever, and figure out how long they knew.

The public message was a threat that he wouldn’t stand for the impropriety any longer, if he heard even the littlest thing, he would personally have them held accountable and sue for hate crimes.

You were absolutely in awe watching him defend you from the merciless people that ridiculed you for something that was so physical and meaningless if you’re healthy.

It made you not want to ever be in the spotlight again but you knew that Bokuto being there was your light that he’d welcome you to hide in.

He kissed you on your forehead and snuggled into you, soothing you after he sent the public message. “It’s fixed, baby. You don’t have to worry about that ever again, I got you.”

You felt grateful for him, without your Kou you wouldn't know what to do. So, since then you both have found an abundant number of recipes that include everything you may need to help keep you full and feeling happy.

"Ready for our walk, baby?" Kou asked you, whilst you zipped up your matching jumpsuits, he had personally ordered for the both of you. He wanted to make your recovery a positive experience and help you out the best he could.

"You bet." You paused, keeping the loving eye contact the both of you held. "Thank you, I mean it. You're so big-hearted and considerate." You admitted, elated that you found someone who would go through hell with you.

"Of course, baby," He leaned down to kiss your temple, "Anything for you." 

a/n: another comfort piece because why not? requests are open (PLEASEEEE) haha, i hope you enjoyed & use bokuto as a pillar to help yourself get better if you need <3

[totallyanfel]

❝𝙔𝙊𝙐 𝙉𝙀𝙑𝙀𝙍 𝙋𝘼𝙔 𝘼𝙏𝙏𝙀𝙉𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉 𝙏𝙊 𝙈𝙀 𝘼𝙉𝙔𝙈𝙊𝙍𝙀❞ 〰 BOKUTO

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ hq x fem!reader. ft: bokuto koutarou

╰┈➤ˎˊ˗you jokingly say that he never pays attention to you anymore, now he's worried!

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ warnings: none except for tiniest bit of angst! but lots of fluff

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ 935 words, avg read time: 3 mins

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ a/n: this is my first time writing, and i never write for pleasure, or stories like these! so it might be really bad lol- but always give me constructive critisism about anything and dms/requests are always opened!! ˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗

────୨ৎ────

"bokuuuu~" you say, leaving the bedroom door to find your boyfriend sprawled on the couch, looking up and smiling at you before holding up his finger to signal for you to wait, the phone pressed against his ear with one of his streaked hands.

"movie night?" you silently worded with your lips, gesturing over to your bedroom before he gave a dismissive nod and thumbs up, focusing back onto the phone call. 

with a heavy sigh, you left to the kitchen, preparing what you two would always eat for the nights you'd lay on your shared bed, cuddled up next to each other while watching a move. that caramel popcorn that head playfully fed you, throwing it into the air as you two giggled at the missed shots and cheered together at the ones that made it. 

bokuto would always love nights like these and always preferred them, inside with you, over going out. he didn't have to share you while conversing with other people if it was some get-together or forced not to touch you everywhere you went.

Inside, you could cuddle, talk between just the two of you, scratch your hair, anything.

-

"this is so fricking delish," you said, stuffing your face with more popcorn as the bright tv screen hit your face, your hair tangling as the back of your head lay on his chest, sitting up on the bed. his arms envelopped you soothingly, meeting at your shoulders while you comfortably relaxed on his much bigger frame.

"hey, leave some for me-" a raspier whine escaped bokuto's lips, moving the thick arm that wrapped around you to reach for the bowl on your hips, before you felt his nose reach the top of your head and snuggle against it. he inhaled through his nose, letting the pleasant smell of your shampoo seep in as he couldn't help but let the tug on the end of his lips raise.

"nuh, uh! i made these all by myself while you were too busy on your pho-!" and almost as if on cue, his phone went off. both heads turned at the same time to the brightening screen, revealing a cute picture of him feeding you while watching your favorite show together, almost in the same scenario as of right now. underneath it was a message from someone that you honestly couldn't care less about, and he picked it up quickly.

"sorry, love, this might be important.." he subtly added, his once brighter expression muted as he brought the device closer to him. you let out a dishearted sigh, maybe exaggerating it a little too much to add on to your sarcastic comment. "it's like you never pay attention to me anymore.."

even the low mumble of your voice led him to shoot up, instantly tightening his grip around you, as if instinctual, and his voice was barely over a whisper. "what?" he moved his head around to try to meet your eyes, now basically "ear to ear" with him.

seeing the defeated look on his face, you realized he didn't see through your sarcastic comment, and trying to put your best poker face on, you tried to drag on the joke. it wouldn't harm anyone, just trying to see how long he'd last.

"yeah, you know, you're always so busy and all. just like right now, you know... your phone and all... you just never pay attention to me anymore." you lowered your head, some stray hairs falling down in trial to cover your face from the smile you were fighting, biting down on your lip.

if anything, bokuto pays way too much attention to you. you believed he'd just realize this was a joke; he was a clingy boy after all. whenever you'd leave, he'd insist on a hug, even in a rush. it would then lead to a kiss, and you perhaps being 15 minutes late with a few disheveled hairs. clingy bokuto was probably your favorite thing ever though. always wanting to be near you and never leaving your side for anything. so it'd be easy enough for him to see through your tiny prank.

"babe, are you serious? i-.."  bokuto lowered his head, his hair slightly drooping at the ends, and when you looked up, a small glint of sadness in his eyes shined through. fuck, he's actually serious.

"wait, listen, boku-" you tried to stop the joke right there, fully lifting your face before his hands met your waist, grasping you harshly as he flipped you with a hold so tight, as if you'd weighed nothing. when switching over to fully face him, he looked up at you, your legs wrapped around him, straddling his big "man" frame as he gave you a "little boy" pout.

"i-i'm so sorry, y/n... seriously. i never thought i'd be distant from you and all." bokuto's gaze never left yours.

a small pang hit your chest hard. "no, wait, boku-" you finally bring yourself closer to him, leaning closer to his face. "listen, i was just joking, mkay? you're perfectly fine; you pay enough attention to me!" you added, caressing his soft cheeks with your hands and cupping his jaw. 

"huh?" his eyes slightly widened, his head tilting to the side a little in confusion, causing you to giggle a little.

"Don't pull anything like that again, th-then.." he looked flustered, looking away from you now, half the sadness wiping off his face to your relief.

"soorrryyy~ i didn't think you'd take it so seriously!" you let out a soft chuckle at his tightening grasp on your waist.

"yup, you're repaying me for that little scare."

────୨ৎ────

a/n: srry if this is bad guys! anyway, yeah id totally see bokuto 100% blaming himself, even if he is like SUPER attached and wtv

wait now i feel bad cmere

[springsmile]

thinkin abt needy yan bokuto who takes ur virginity for the first time

bokuto who roughly possesses you— takes your jaw into his hand and (with a bruising vigor) presses his lips to yours. there’s a momentary dink of your teeth meeting, before his tongue is acquainting itself with yours. slick and warm, mapping the expanse of your mouth.

your protests muffled—your head is immobilized but trembling with the effort to shake your head, recoil.

“cmon baby, wanna make you feel good.” he’s pleading, the sound floating into your mouth and you’re choking on its sheer saccharinity.

“you want this, i know you do.” your inner thighs are pulsing at the cupping of his impressive torso. it’s a hamstring stretch in itself. even worse, his fingers maneuver around the dampened lace of your panties and tug them aside. they’re sticking to the side of your labia, and the sensation has you responding viscerally.

his next movement is unceremonious. his thick and coarse fingers plunge inside of you— the pads kissing the sides of your walls, and nicking that spot—your eyes bulge, mouth glistening and agape in a soundless cry.

“see? look how wet you are.”

if you had the capacity, you’d be gritting your teeth, but your only outright means of defiance was a breathy gasp, “b-bokuto, stop.”

he pulls back from the countless open-mouthed love bites he’d carefully worked into your neck (glowing red, incomplete circles, shining beautifully), and tilts his head.

“but i don’t want to.”

it doesn’t sound malicious. it doesn’t even look like it. but it’s petulantly dangerous. more so, he wants something, and what he wants is wrapped up in his hands. he has unparalleled strength to covet it, so it’s his. you’re not going anywhere.

he can’t even understand why you’re begging him to stop.

the tempo is incomprehensible, absolutely nonsensical. you hope his fingers cramp—the strokes keep evolving. shallow, quick, slow, deep and curled. bokuto presses his lips to your ear, so warm and wet, the same stimulus expressed by every inch of your skin. he’s panting, mewling like it’s you who’s torturing him.

“please, please let me eat you out, princess. god, please. i need it.” he’s near whimpering. it’s downright pathetic. “we’ll feel so good. i swear, i swear baby. please.”

you can’t even breathe.

his head is lowering to that precious, sensitive space between your thighs, lips closing around your nervous nub. your hands leap to his hair, fistfuls gathered in each, and you’re pulling. you can’t figure out if you’re pushing him away or keeping him in place. his tongue scales the side of your clit, and with hollowed cheeks, he suckles tightly. air-tight, and pulsating under the muscle.

callouses are petting your sides, his fingers twitching as they reach the valley of your breasts, before climbing to your nipples. he’s pinching tightly, rolling them between his forefingers and thumbs with a passion akin to the same extended to your cunt.

a strangled gasp scratches your throat, you’re vibrating at the stimulation, and as soon as he releases the bud with a reverberating pop!, something so balmy and intense rips open at the pit of your stomach. chest heaving, you ride the high with fabric-clad fists.

he’s still slurping, varying between tantalizing kitten-licking to full on fucking you on his tongue. every part of bokuto was fucking jacked and graced by boggling strength, the bruises left on your tits and your thighs weren’t as jarring as the force behind each thrust of his tongue.

his head retreats unexpectedly, and you’re fervently grappling at this moment of reprieve— but before you can suck in much needed mouthfuls of air, he’s pressing his sticky tip to your hole. precum and your slick smears and trickles onto the sheets, yielding a sickening solution of lust. its warmth intermingles with that of your sweat, frigid with dread, leaving your skin crawling and begging to be satiated more than before.

you jerk, fear tightening your joints as your eyes snap open, “n-no, wait!”

your hips creak under his grip, and when your gaze languidly meets his, you’re resigned, blinking back tears of desperation. he’s not humping your leg all needy and pleading anymore. he’s not entertaining your begs or pleas of yield. he’s not begging or pleading with you anymore, either. he’s gonna take you. but don’t worry!! he’ll make you feel real good <3

[imcanreadmindsnocap]

i’m SICK of the playboy!au and toxic relationship!au, like wym my faves are as ran through as a train track and have probably created a new type of std 🤔 i need my love interests to stop being mischaracterized bc i fully believe they would be either losers who get no play (shigaraki) or would have no time (or desire) for that kinda thing (gojo, geto, sukuna, aizawa, chuuya, ATSUMU)‼️ looking good and having admirers ≠ whore, i need them in love with ME 💜. ty for coming to my ted talk

[luza-wayne]

drunk talk.

bokuto koutarou x reader

wc: 1.3k

i like the little hurt i felt, rereading this fufu. i remembered i posted this on one of my old tmblr acc. pls request to me, i'm begging T^T

you were woken up from your afternoon nap when you heard your phone went off continuously. you grumpily reached for it on the nightstand just beside the bed.

as if a spell was cast on you, your expression immediately lit up, when you saw the notification.

bokuto has been more expressive and more clingy this past week. he does things like staring at you while you do work and he'd always bring you sweets and flowers every time he came home.

just yesterday, he brought you another necklace.

though you want to know why he's like that, you don't mind it, in fact, you love it. that's why you make sure to show him how much you love him too.

you looked at the time on your phone and it's already quarter to five.

i guess i should clean up the house. you thought as you fixed your hair and stood up.

...

*ding dong* 

you were woken up from your slumber for the second time today when the sound of the doorbell rang throughout the living room of the house you shared with your boyfriend.

ah bad. i fell asleep while cleaning. 

you drowsily rubbed your eyes as you walked to the door, not minding the unfinished work.

you opened it and there was akaashi looking so done with his life, while your partner hanged on his left shoulder.

“akaashi, did he drink that much?” you said looking at him pitifully.

“yeah,” he stated. “...but he's acting weird today.”

you wanted to ask what he meant, but you told him to get in first to at least place bokuto on the couch and rest his shoulder.

he softly throws his previous captain on the couch as you take off bokuto's shoes. when you came back from putting the footwear on the shoe rack, you offered akaashi water.

“hey, what do you mean earlier?” you asked him, worried that bokuto might be having a problem.

“normally, he would be so energetic and loud, but today he just drank and drank. i immediately noticed it, that's why i didn't drink too much because i'm sure he'll be too drunk later on.” akaashi explained and chugged on the water you gave him.

you looked at bokuto and you noticed how troubled his expression is, even though he's sleeping.

“did he tell you anything?” you queried the editor who’s looking at bokuto.

“sadly, he passed out before i could ask him anything.” he sighed and fixed his glasses.

after you talked a bit to akaashi, he bid farewell to you, since he has work tomorrow. you sent him off while thanking him for looking out for the drunk guy on your couch.

you went to the bathroom after to get a bowl and towel to clean up bokuto. you crouched beside the couch and slowly took his arm.

you successfully wiped it, so went to the other arm. as you reached for it, you suddenly froze when he groaned.

“hm? who you?” he questioned looking at you suspiciously.

here it is again. every time bokuto is drunk, he always fails to recognize anyone. anyone. 

“ah. i was with akaashi. you're akaashi, right?” he wanted to confirm, but you just smiled at him and offered him water, but he refused.

he turned his body to the side, he's facing the backrest of the couch and his arm dangled on the edge of it.

“akaashi…” he called even though akaashi's not there.

you just decided to go along with it, hoping you'd catch something funny that you can tell him tomorrow once he comes to his senses.

“yes?” you answered, putting a low tone to your voice.

“i want to ask you something.” he said, not moving from his current position.

“what is it?”

“i don't know what to do.” 

“about what? tell me.” you listened to him intently.

is he going to talk about what's bothering him?

“actually, i love (y/n)...” you replied with a hum.  “but…” he refutes.

but?

he changed his position again and now he's facing the ceiling with his arms covering his eyes. this is the first time you saw him this serious while drunk.

“i love her, but i don't love her.” he whispered and bit his lips.

“what?” you were unsure whether you heard it right or not.

i must’ve misheard it, but i’m pretty sure i didn’t. what is he talking about?

“what do you mean?” you let go of the towel accidentally making it land on the bowl, splashing water on its surroundings.

“what i mean is that i'm not feeling the same way as before. i love (y/n), but it's not the same love i'm feeling from before.” he said, his lips were quivering and his voice was a bit shaky.

“i'm trying, akaashi. i'm trying to bring back the love. i’m doing the things i did when we were still new to the relationship. i'm hoping the love would come back, but…” a tear fell on the side of his eyes, down to his ears. 

“what if it doesn't come back?” his voice was getting quieter and quieter.

“what if my love for her fades away?” he sobs.

you just stood there looking at him talking. a lot of information came in at once, it seems like your mind can't keep up.

he doesn't feel the same anymore? so the reason he's been extra sweet lately is that he wanted to revive his feelings for me? 

you let out a laugh and comb your hair with your fingers.

“what are you laughing for, akaashi?” he fixed his position, sat on his butt and looked up at you, even though his eyes were still blurry.

“nothing. it's just, (y/n) thought nothing of it when you were extremely sweet and clingy, though she loves it, now she feels like shit knowing what was the reason.” you tried to finish what you were saying, while also trying to keep the tears from falling.

he confusedly looked at you. you cleared your throat and clenched your hand.

“why don't you just tell her the truth? that you've already fallen out of love?” he lowered his head and placed both of his hands on the sides of his head.

“but, i promised her forever.”

he said, vocals almost inaudible, because of how shaky it is. anyone who can see him right now, can tell that what he's showing right now is what he really feels deep inside him.

“i promised that to her, and i still don't want her to be sad.” he clasped both of his hands.

“but you shouldn't lead me on that you're still mine because that hurts much more thinking all your i love you's are genuine, but it isn't. it’s not love, if you’re faking it.” 

you sighed heavily, you felt as if your legs lost all their power, you suddenly wanted to sit down. you did, but on the floor right in front of your boyfriend.

you looked at him while cries and worried about what to do with himself for minutes and minutes.

it seems like he sobered up. 

you smiled weakly and reached for his cheeks. you noticed how he melted into it, now you know that he's really back to his senses.

“babe…?” he muttered and looked at you. 

you saw how his eyes showed terror now that he'd realized that the one he's talking to all the time was you and not akaashi.

“b-babe, i—” he held your hand that was on his face, but you pulled it out of his grip.

you nodded slowly, smiling at him.

“shh. it's okay. we can talk about it tomorrow. you should take a rest for now.” you said and walked towards your guy's room, refusing to let even a drop of tear fall in front of him.

bokuto watched as you took each step. what he's feeling right now doesn't seem right. 

it is as if you're walking away from him for good, but he feels like he should run after you. 

but, shouldn't he feel that way if he had already fallen out of love, right?

thank you so much for reading! reblogs would much appreciated!

also, you can visit my ko-fi acc, if you'd like to tip me and help this broke college student (>//3//<)

[kemistre]

εïз┊𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐍 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒 — feat. tsukshima kei, sugawara koushi, kageyama tobio, bokuto koutarou, akaashi keiji, sakusa kiyoomi, tendou satori

synopsis. in which he hears you say you don't like him

— content warnings. angsty, crying, panic attacks — word count. 3, 559

εïз┊author's note. this is sad, this is angsty. some of these are way longer than they should be, but you're welcome for the food &lt;3

εïз┊t. kei

he was looking for you with yamaguchi by his side, his headphones around his neck as he glanced around for you, his hand in his pockets. he was going to walk you home, like usual. like the two of you had been doing since you met. ao, when he heard you say his name, his full name, from behind the corner, he stopped his friend with his arm, listening closely to what you were saying.

“tsukishima?” you questioned the friend you were talking to.

“no i don’t like him, he’s rude and just doesn’t work towards anything, it’s frustrating.” you scoffed, and as much as tsukishima didn’t want to admit it, he felt his eyes widen, his heart stopped for just a moment.

“i’m just around him because tadashi’s his friend.” yamaguchi’s mouth hung open, shocked at your words as he looked at his friend. tsukishima took a deep breathe before stepping out from around the corner, a deep scowl on his lips.

“good thing I don’t like you either.” he spoke, walking passed you and not looking back. he didn’t really know why he felt like punching something at that moment, you just walked home with him. you came to a few of his games and practices. there was no reason for him to be this upset. there was no reason for his chest to hurt so bad.

εïз┊k. tobio

he left the gym, going to fill up his water bottle that had been emptied for the second time that day. practice had been rough on the boy for a few days. for reasons unknown, he wasn’t feeling up to playing volleyball, which was completely unlike the kageyama tobio everyone knew. instead, he wanted to hang out with you. he didn’t know why. the feeling that arose in his stomach every time he talked to you was foreign, something he’d never felt before nor experienced. he’d done his research here and there though nothing helped his confusion on the matter.

but because of this same reason, he was avoiding you any chance he got. he wasn’t  ready to talk to you yet, because he knew, he just knew he wouldn't be able to form a sentence in front of you until he knew just why his stomach felt so…fluttery whenever he even looked at you. as he stood at the water fountain near the entrance to the school, he glanced to the side, not expecting to see you walking in his direction without realizing he was there. swiftly and quickly, he put the cap back on his bottle and sped to hide behind the large tree that hung over the water fountain, thankfully it was big enough to shield him from your sight. though much to his dismay, your friend had stopped by the fountain for a drink, making you stop and continue the conversation he’d seen you having from afar.

“i just can’t stand him, he’s so awkward.” you rolled your eyes, your hands smoothing back your hair. “and he’s just so obsessed with that sport, if he talks, it’s about volleyball!” you looked so frustrated. who were you talking about? was it someone on the team? kageyama didn’t really know if you were close with anyone else on the team. unconsciously, he leaned towards you, trying to hear as much as he could before you both left. your friend wiped the extra water off their chin.

“yeah, that does sound annoying. can’t you just tell him to stop?”

“well, i’ve thought about it. but even if i do tell him to stop, then he just wouldn’t talk at all.” as you and your friend began walking again, he almost thought about asking you who it was, until your friend spoke once more.

“poor kageyama,” they nudged your arm with their elbow, you could practically hear the grin in their tone. “his only friend talking shit behind his back, he’s lonely enough as it is y/n!” you scoffed, though soon grinned as well.

“i’m sorry he’s just so unlikeable! It’s impossible not to talk shit!” kageyama stood still. unmoving. looking at nothing but your back as you walked away, his eyes wide and mouth agape. what was this feeling he felt in his stomach? yet another unfamiliar feeling, though this one was more, painful, sickening, than the fluffy one he’d felt not too long ago. you were talking about him. not someone else. he was right here, listening to you say you didn’t like him. he was right there, and you didn’t know.

kageyama’s breathe sped up, his chest rising and falling anxiously as you faded into the distance. his first thought, a thought you would’ve probably hated, was to go get a volleyball. go play volleyball. get a volleyball. go, go, go. this thought swarmed through his head like bunches of little bees, and he hated it.

before he knew it, he was back at the gym, his water spilling from the grip he’d had on the bottle. the only thing he could see was that ball right in front of him on the gym floor, and not the people around him trying to help their teammate. “kageyama!” at the sound of hinata's loud voice, he snapped out of whatever trance he was in, staring at the finger while also realizing the amount of people that watched him. “you’re crying, kageyama.” hinata's voice lowered, a concerned tone overpowering the previous annoyed one.

kageyama raised a hand to his face, wiping at his cheek, realizing that yes, he had been crying. and for some reason, some unknown reason, he was now fully aware of the nauseous, painful, overbearing feeling in his entire body. and within seconds, he collapsed. kageyama tobio had never experienced love before. kageyama tobio had never experienced heartbreak before. and now, he’ll never experience either ever again.

εïз┊s. koushi

he had been on his way out of the school to go home on his day off from practice. a day he’s been looking forward to, not because he’s not going to practice, but because he finally gets to spend some one on one time with you. something you two hadn’t really gotten in a long time. he thought that maybe, just maybe this was the day  he finally asked you out. after months upon months of countlessly chickening out, his teammates somehow got him to agree to confess. he was a little more excited than he should’ve been as his eyes scanned the courtyard for you. you two had agreed on a meeting place so he could technically pick you up and you’d walk together! he really, really hoped everything would go smoothly. he had his whole confession mapped out, he prepared and practiced beforehand so he didn’t look like a complete buffoon in front of you, his only real crush since junior high.

he peaked around the corner of the school, a place he’d always been so excited for school ever since he met you. you made him want to learn even more, to grow so much more. he loved being there with you. as he peaked around the corner, he caught a glimpse of your hair, along with you and your best friend’s voice talking as best friends would. naturally, he didn’t want to interrupt your conversation, so he decided to simply wait by scrolling through his phone until your conversation finished to let you know he was there. and though he didn’t mean to eavesdrop, how could he not?

“i thought you liked him y/n?” “me? Like him? no way.” your voice was low, serious and harsh, catching sugawara off guard. “i thought he was like…the responsible friend of the group. someone who could be chill and not some chaotic fiend like his volleyball friends. he’s just as bad as them and it’s infuriating.” you scoffed, making a pit form in his stomach. who were you talking about? noya? tanaka? he thought you enjoyed everyone on the team.

“but suga’s so nice, you shouldn’t talk about him like that.” your friend's tone was a little more glum than expected and your response was nothing he’d ever think you’d say.

“hmm? i mean not really, he’s just really weird.” his breathing hitched, his heartbeat growing faster and faster by the second. he clutched his phone in his hand, eyes wide as he let the startling information settle in. you…didn’t like him? you didn’t like him. you thought he was weird.  you thought he was infuriating. you didn’t like him.

you couldn’t say that about him, that couldn’t have been you. maybe he mixed you up with someone else because you wouldn’t say that about him. he could’ve sworn you felt the same way. though the fact slowly but surely invaded each and every thought in his mind, making it spin as he left. he walked away, not exactly being able to think right at that moment. he didn’t know how long it took him to wander his way back to his house, his eyes never leaving the ground he walked on.

he opened his house's front door, going in and slowly shutting it as his forehead leaned against the hard wood. “y/n hates me…” though he whispered, the three words echoed through the empty house. soon his whole body weight shifted to lean against the door, his arms stealing himself, his knees buckling before him as he fell to the ground. tears upon tears spilled from his eyes, loud sobs coming from his now sore throat.

he hoped today would go smoothly, and he thought he came up with the worst case scenario. but this…this was truly the worst outcome he could’ve ever imagined.

εïз┊b. koutarou

he said his goodbyes to akaashi before practically running to the classroom you and he shared. today was your one year anniversary...only of being friends… but! it was still an anniversary he’d like to celebrate. he thought for a surprise he’d give a VIP pass to his next game! even if it was just a piece of paper he colored on, he still thought it would mean a lot. he was so ready as he walked up to the classroom door, which was just cracked, just a bit. as his hand brushed the handle to open it, he heard your pretty voice, so he thought he’d wait for you to come out instead, a giddy excited smile on his face, he couldn’t stand still.

“why are you still hanging out with bokuto, y/n? I thought he annoyed you.” his eyebrows furrowed, through his smile still remain.

“he does, he’s just, too much? his mood swings, his energy that never runs out. it’s too much, and yes, it is annoying.” his usual happy smile grew wobbly, unsteady as he felt his head began to pound.

“so, then cut him off, it’s simple.” you sighed.

“well how do i do that? i have every class with him, that would be awkward. i’ll just wait until we graduate, i could probably put up with him until then.” bokuto, despite everything he just heard, smiled. it wasn’t a pretty one, not anymore.

he gently held the VIP pass in his callous hand, looking down at it as his vision got blurry. tears fell off his cheeks, down to the pass he’d worked so hard to make. he tried so hard to make his writing legible, to make it colorful and pretty, just for you since he knew you liked colorful and pretty. before you could come out of the room, he made sure not to let you see him. he walked away, even if class was just about to start. maybe he could skip class, just this once. 

εïз┊a. keiji

he strolled throughout the school looking for you, though in no particular rush. he was a little anxious, a little scared to talk to you since once he did find you, he was going to tell you how he felt. something bokuto and konoha had been pressuring him to do for the few years he’d known you. he’d had a crush on you, liked you ever since he told you about his love for writing and reading. you’d supported him when he said he wanted to make a living from it, you smiled and said you’d read his books. that was probably one of his happiest and giddiest moments. he almost fell in love with you on the spot. usually, he was not one to trust people too quickly, but you were the exception. you made him feel so safe, like he was in the right place when he was by your side.

it was such an indescribable feeling he felt when he sees you smile, laugh, giggle, anything of the sort. your smile was contagious, your laugh as well. It was something he thought he’d never be able to go a day without. so, as he was just about to walk around the corner, he suddenly heard your laugh, your giggle and immediately stopped in his tracks as a lopsided smile appeared on his lips. and despite him wanting to be respectful and give you your privacy while talking to your friend, he couldn’t help but listen as he stood listening to your giggles.

“no, no! they’re actually pretty stupid. like the ideas themselves are terrible but then he’s actually worse at putting them onto paper.” akaashi’s smile turned into one of confusion. since when did you talk so harshly towards people? and he was even more confused that you weren’t talking to him about this, you told him everything. did someone make you upset? he could surely help you if you talked to him.

“is it really that bad?”

“it is, plus he’s just so quiet and he stares…a lot and honestly it’s really uncomfortable.” someone made you uncomfortable? suddenly he felt himself become more engaged in your conversation, wanting to figure out just who made you feel the way you did. was it someone in your class? it must have been, right?

“aww well that sucks, he was kinda cute too.”

“i mean, the looks go to waste when you have a terrible personality.” your voice got quieter as you and your friend began walking away. “i guess that just means akaashi will never get in a relationship cuz if  i don’t like him, no one will.” akaashi leaned against the wall, your voice playing on repeat in his head. you were talking about him? the whole time? he made you uncomfortable? he stared at you? he lacks personality? his writing was terrible, stupid..?

a sudden pain coursed through his chest as he dragged a hand over his slightly opened mouth, shocked and confused. his chest tightened, and although this anxious feeling was one he experienced quite often, this time it was for a reason he’d never been through before. and before he knew it, his vision blurred, his head grew fuzzy, and he felt…small. yiny and trapped inside the ways of his overthinking and pained mind. he was truly hoping to walk out of school with your hand in his. instead, he ran out, pained and crying. 

εïз┊o. tooru

he was wandering throughout the school, looking for you specifically. not only did he want you to come to practice and watch him since he knew you enjoyed seeing him play, but he just wanted to spend as much time with you as possible. you were his first crush in a while, so it’d only make sense for him to want to be around you so much. yes, he does admit it’s a lot, but he just doesn’t want to lose you.

he was in an especially good mood today, not for any particular reason, he just…was so grateful to have you around. you were like the sun in his life, his beacon of light and hope he couldn’t get anywhere else. you made him feel like he was enough, that he’s done his best throughout his life. and truly, just seeing your smile was enough to brighten his day, being around you in general made his day so much better. he really didn’t know what he’d ever do without you. that was his last thought as he heard your voice coming from around the corner, the angelic voice he loved to hear every single day.

“oikawa?” he thought you knew he was there, but when you kept talking, he stopped where he stood. “that self absorbed jerk? what about him?” his genuine smile he’d had all day fell into a confused frown as he tried to process your words.

“i’m shocked you deal with him all the time.”

“yeah i know, he’s so clingy, and not to mention a volleyball obsessed arrogant narcissist, that’s it, i can’t stand him sometimes.” your voice rose without you knowing it, your friend that stood with you telling you to calm down.

oikawa’s pulse quickened, his breathing unsteady though he put a smile on his face once more as he walked around the corner. but this smile was one of a pure facade he’d perfected oh so long ago. “y/n-Chan~ i’ve been looking everywhere for you!” he laughed, giggled as he through an arm around your shoulder. though he heard you, loud and clear, he’d pretend he heard nothing. nothing at all because he knew his heart couldn’t handle the pain of letting you go so soon.

εïз┊s. kiyoomi

he walked throughout the crowded hallways, heading to volleyball practice like any other day. though, today was a bit different since you weren’t with him. usually you’d walk next to him, talking his ear off while he went to practice after school, but not today apparently. it confused him, worried him, but he wouldn’t say it outloud. it was as he was rounding a corner that he understood why you weren’t with him, you were leaning against the wall, holding your books, your friend talking to you about something. he didn’t want to be nosy, so he was just going to go around, it wasn’t any of his business. until he heard his name.

“sakusa? no, of course i don’t like him, he’s an asshole,” his eyebrows furrowed, you said it in such an obvious tone, it confused him. your friend agreed. was he rude? he didn’t think he’d ever been mean to you, so why? “and just between us, volleyball isn’t as cool as he thinks it is. i don’t know why he wants to do it professionally. it’s-”

at that point, he left. he didn’t need to hear anymore, he knew where you stood and he wouldn’t bother you anymore. it was an interesting feeling, because while he was angry, he was hurt and for the first time in a long time, he felt his vision get blurry, tears filling them to the brim. why would he cry for you? why did his heart just break in two? if you’d just waited a little longer, he might’ve gotten warmed up to you. showed you his soft, vulnerable side.

but now, standing on the court playing alongside a professional team, doing what he loved, he’s glad he didn’t show you anything. he’s glad he didn’t have you standing next to him, but he hopes you see him. see him on your TV and think to yourself, ‘wow, he did it.’ because now, he knew he didn’t need you. 

εïз┊t. satori

he pranced around looking for you throughout the dorms. you both were going to hang out and he was told to meet you near the entrance of the dorms. he was super excited because after a lot of thinking, he decided this would be the day he told you he liked you. you’d been friends for a while, about six months, and throughout those months, he grew to have a huge crush on you. you just treated him, normally. you weren’t freaked out by him like many others were and he was always grateful for that. because you were different.

but as he was about to round a corner, he heard your voice and his first thought was to hide and scare you once you turned around, he always he that to you, it was something that was just kinda a part of your friendship. so, he leaned his back against the wall, smirking to himself as you spoke with your friend, someone he’d never met but that was fine with him. “i should probably go, tendou will be here in a few minutes.” you complained, fed up and annoyed. it made him worry a bit, but he knew he could cheer you up, like all the other times!

“tendou? you still hang out with him?”

“yeah, for some reason i still do.” you sighed, and tendou’s eyebrows furrowed, confusion the only feeling in his body at that moment, his heartbeat speeding up just a bit. “he just..he just creeps me out. does that make sense?”

“oh yeah, of course it does, i’m pretty sure he creeps everyone out.” tendou’s eyes grew wide as he stared at the ground, a pit forming in his stomach, making him nauseous where he stood.

he couldn’t bring himself to listen to the rest of your conversation, instead just trudging back to his dorm room, his eyes never leaving the floor he walked on. looks like you weren’t different, not different at all.

taglist :: there's none at the moment but just send me a message to my inbox if you wanna be tagged :3

[vuntysharck]

work of art - akaashi keiji x reader

after getting introduced to a girl who majors in fine arts, akaashi keiji realises that all he desires to do is help her find her passion for making art all over again

status: ongoing , not started yet

taglist : send an ask to be added

tags / warnings : slow burn (maybe) , fem!reader , smau , university au , happy endings , fluff , slight angst , miscommunication , tension , modern , grief , mentions of death , fanon , childhood , alchohol , characters probably not in character

! double check each chapter for added on warnings

disclaimer - this is my first fic so it will be horrendous

✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰

extras - yn style guide

intros - RENT (1996)

part one - coming soon

[ilylovelyz]

⍣ ೋ after the break-up

☆ kuroo, oikawa, daichi, hinata, bokuto akaashi, sakusa (prt 2.)

KUROO TETSURO — assuming reader is the one who ended it, he's absolutely blindsided and shocked. he walks around in a daze; to anyone who didn't know him, he just looks tired or whatever. to whoever does, it's clear he's absolutely destroyed and crushed. of course, he'll try to act his best to not let it show how sad he is, but it really shows when his teammates were wondering where he was, only to find him sitting alone on a bench, looking down at his feet somberly.

"kuroo." kenma called out softly, his lips pursed into a line at the sight of his childhood sitting ways away from the rest of his team. it took a minute before kuroo was looking over his shoulder to look over at the shorter lad, his eye-bags dark, lips pursed into a straight line. "...i miss her." kuroo mumbled, looking back down at his feet, one of his hands coming up to brush through his distressed black hair.

he feels even worse when he sees you in the distance, walking home with a friend of yours. he can only think and remember when it was him walking you home, your hand intertwined with his. he chews on his lip as you get smaller and smaller as you walk more into the distance. he misses you.

OIKAWA TORŪ — he acts totally unbothered. his teammates didn't even know the two of you broke up until one of them asked about you jokingly, to which oikawa stuck out his tongue, huffing a "she dumped me," before swiping the nonexistent hair off his shoulder with sass. he thinks he's okay; he feels okay. it doesn't catch up to him until one day he's still practicing long after official practice ended.

oikawa grunted as he jumped into the air, his hand coming up to slap the ball. he can only furrow his eyebrows in annoyance when the ball hits the net, dropping over to the floor. "damn it." he curses, wiping the sweat off his forehead. i'm thirsty, he thinks, looking to the side where you would sit on the floor, watching as he practices.

but you're not there... where are you? "y/n-chan?" he calls out, his eyes looking around the empty gym. "..she's gone oikawa, remember— she broke up with you," a voice speaks from behind him. he turns around to see iwaizumi standing behind him, his eyes low with concern. oikawa feels a pang of hurt within his chest, his face morphing into one of hurt. oh, thats right, you left him.

DAICHI SAWAMURA — please, he's so heartbroken. he's so sad and hurt, when you were breaking up with him, he knew he couldn't change your mind, so he let you go, because he knew that was the best choice for the both of you. he stills watches over you, his protectiveness still present. he'll still watch you in class and in the hallways, his eyes never lingering off you for even a second.

"y/n—y/l/n-san," he says meekly, his eyes watching your face for any discomfort. "how are you doing?" he asks. he still attempts to talk to you, even if you crushed his heart completely. "i'm doing great, daichi-san, how about you? how is volleyball going?" his heart stings at your formality, he would do anything just to hear the way you call him by that cute nickname you gave him.

i'm hurt, i miss you, i miss you—i miss you a lot. can we get back together? "i'm doin' great, we are able to go to nationals, i'm so excited." he says with a forced grin, he hopes you don't notice the way his smile doesn't meet his eyes. "sure, let's go to the rooftop?" you say, slowly getting up from your seat. usually, you'd hold his arm as the two of you walked, but you don't. instead, you walk with a slightly behind him with much of a distance for his taste, but it's okay. he doesn't want to make it anymore awkward than it already is. he'd rather be your friend than loose you completely.

HINATA SHOUYO — he cried, he cried for days. even tsukishima felt bad for him. he was almost like a zombie, and he felt even shittier when he was so exhausted that his spikes were shit. he needed your presence, he needed you to be at his side, but you weren't there at all, you left him, you left him shattered and inconsolable. he nearly got sick with the way he was so sad, almost throwing up a few times because of how hard he cried.

"y/n," he calls out from behind you. you turn your head to look him, removing your hand from your locker. "oh, hey, shouyo," you say sheepishly, tone seemingly afraid and hesitant. you seem to know what he's already feeling. "how are you doing?" you ask, turning your body to face him.

"i.." he stammers, swallowing thickly as he tries to prevent his voice from cracking. "uhm—are you gonna be there for my game next saturday?" he asks, his eyes almost wide with the way he waits for your answer. his eyebrows furrow with sadness when you give him a bittersweet smile, "i.. maybe."

BOKUTO KOUTARO — his emotions are even worse than hinata's. he actually refuses to accept the break-up, and literally gets on his knees to beg you not to leave him. he'll literally wrap his arms around your waist, his head mushed into your belly as he cries into your embrace, mumbling apologies and love confessions. he almost loses a couple of games after the breakup because he was such an emotional wreck.

"see you later y/l/n-san." your friend says, waving a goodbye as you part ways with her. you say a goodbye as well before continuing your walk down the halls. your heart beats nervously, sometimes you see bokuto in this part of the school, but you're not surprised that you do. he pops up in front of you, almost as if he was awaiting for your arrival.

"y/n.." he whines, biting on his lower lip, his hair greatly deflated. you can only sigh at the sight in front of you. "hey, kou.." you say softly, you're not even going to try to switch to his surname or even his full first name either, that'll actually destory him and you know that.

"y/n, can we please just–", "kou," "–can we please just talk about this, i need you." he whimpers, hastily walking over to you, his hands grabbing at your elbows. "koutaro." you sternly say, your use of his first full name as him freezing in place, his lips pursing into a straight line as he tries not to cry. he's then pulling you in for a hug, his head resting in the crook of your neck and he sniffles against you, whining your name like a sweet baby. you can only rub your hand against his back comfortingly before you're pulling away from him for the last time.

AKAASHI KEIJI — he tried to handle it maturely, he really tried. he respects your decision, it'll be unfair to force you to stay in a relationship when you're unhappy. like a mature person, he's polite, so polite everyone almost forgets that you two dated. but not everyone, after all, you two dated for almost two years. he's still concerned for you, though, he still looks out for you, he always will.

"y/l/n-san, do you need help with that?" he asks, quickly coming over to your side when he sees you walking with a bunch of books in your hands. "y-yeah, please, akaashi-kun," you stutter, your arms relaxing when he takes more of the lion's share of the books from you. "thank you, they were really heavy." you joke, cheekily grinning at his help.

"no problem, just helping out." he says, looking straight ahead of him blankly. he seems to be dealing with it as well as he can, of course, he misses you, and he still resists the urge to text you late at night when he's upset. what about you though? you can't help the way you're gazing at him from behind, marveling at his pretty emerald eyes. akaashi notices, of course, but he doesn't take a plan of action to do anything about it, and neither do you. it was your decision after-all.

SAKUSA KIYOOMI — like oikawa, he acts totally unbothered. he'll brush off whenever someone sends their condolences on the breakup, either scolding them for their annoying pity, or not saying anything at all. deep inside, he's almost annoyed at the way he's so hurt. it's helpless, there's no point in being sad when he can't do anything about it. but he does, but it's over. he feels out of place, his daily structure and schedule is disrupted, and silently, he still awaits for you to call for your place back into his life.

"ah! kiyo.." you shout, trailing off when he walks right past you. it stings you greatly, but at the same time, you understand his actions. the two of you dated for nearly four years, since he was a still a young teenager. he avoids you like the plague now, not even sparing you a glance whenever he does come across you.

you won't ever deny it, even if it's a shock for your pride, you miss him. you miss him and his stupid check-ups, him and his annoying pesters of "did you wash your hands?" you thought that he would be okay with remaining as friends, and he did agree to that, but now, it's like you don't even exist to him. to him, you do, but he just refuses to interact with you, his pride hurt and crushed, as for the first time, he's disturbed.

please like and repost with tags

[444mera]

[chronically online] teaser: where's bo taking us this time?

masterlist | previous | next

☆ fun facts !

bo is a himbo but he's smart in his own ways LMFAO

samu and bo are the only #auto-capitalization typers because that's how i see them

the flower suna's holding in the photo was for his mom! heheh

☆ mera's mail ! i'm continuing this tomorrow lawl it's 2:16 am .... profiles next (weird order, i know </3)

taglist: open !