#boka commentary

[chewbokachoi]

Boka Commentary - Sublimation

Well, here it is! The first of the reflection posts.

No real organization to these things/posts | This is definitely a place where if there is any form of constructive critique you wish to provide, please do! (I accept it on the AO3 pages themselves, but if you aren't comfortable doing that there, that's totally understandable).

General thoughts: -I enjoyed writing it! Despite all my whining and bitching. -This was definitely a piece that was above my skill level, in the end, I think. What I wanted to do with it vs what I ended up doing with it did not line up. -Song title chapters was a mistake RIP -I’m proud of the title and the sequel title (Deposition) damn it -I regret how I characterized/handled Bi-Han at the beginning

The story wound up way more meandering than I intended. Definitely meant for there to be angst, but I feel like it was laid on too heavily. And if it wasn’t angsty and meandering, it felt like it was going in circles.

The Enenra’s motivations were a tough thing to figure out. I ended up settling on it’s what you’d get if you got a sentient pit-bull with separation anxiety mixed with an Aussie shepherd that lost its herd. It doesn’t mean to actually cause harm–it’s just very focused on what it wants. You could argue it’s a selfish creature, but it’s also a demon, so by demon-logic it’s probably an incredibly nice and benevolent thing. It didn’t succeed in killing Liu Kang or Kuai Liang and it didn’t try again, so why is everyone so upset and yelling at it? (Kind of like a dog that peed on the carpet yet everybody’s yelling at it like it killed the pet rabbit.)

Regarding this piece being beyond my skill level, though–lots of things. The pacing and what I tried to establish for ‘immediate’ (within Sublimation) and ‘later’ (Deposition and then some). Characterization. The things the characters deal with. Structure in general. It really was a bit too ambitious for my ability, and despite my planning, it still became difficult to put together. 

Versus, say, what’s developing with Rain’s side of the story. It’s more or less entirely plotted out and what I’ve sat down to write and work with hasn’t been as unwieldy. Same with when I was working on Good Dog (which had less planning). Even Deposition is proving to be easier to pin down. Honestly, I think this one just had too much riding on it, so the pacing just exploded out like toothpaste.

There was also a lot going on with the other characters. Whether or not that was conveyed…ehhhhhhh not the way I had hoped. Even if  this is Part 1 to a series, I feel I could have done more to make it stand better on its own.

I’m sure there’s going to be disagreements with some of  the characterization, which loops back to establishing things for later (or as the kids say these days–”skill issue!” on my part, which is fair). Sareena likes to build things because she feels guilty about all the destruction she caused. Kaui Liang ended up way more pathetic than I meant to have him be because he’s also repressing all the trauma he’s had to deal with–including being rejected by his mother for not being a cryomancer. I feel I did okay with Tomáš's characterization.

Anyway. That’s my rough commentary on it! Thank you for your time.

[chewbokachoi]

One time while I was trying to get work done at a cafe, there was a couple next to me having a break up or finalizing a divorce. I have no idea other than it was extremely uncomfortable and awkward.

Then at the another table near me there was a dude watching TikToks without headphones.

The guy without headphones was, in fact, 10000x more distracting.

We failed as a society when everyone stopped wearing headphones.

[chewbokachoi]

With two more scenes, Sublimation is more or less done.

But now I think I need a one-off chapter for Hanzo's side of things since he's acting like a skittish cat. ...Which will ideally make sense with the one-off.

And for the record, I feel like Hanzo's "constant" across timelines is making the wrong choice, a choice fueled by huge emotions. He killed big bro Sub-Zero even though his family and clan being brought back needed him to maybe NOT do that. He breaks out Quan Chi after Special Forces arrests him.

And this isn't a 'omfg why is he so stupid' comment. It just seems fitting that this tragic flaw is integral to him being Hanzo, meanwhile the Scorpion mantle (as I've said before) is for somebody who is going to go through unimaginable tragedies.

The secret actual plot for this whole thing is Liu Kang realizing he can't change a damn thing.