#body horror xx

[jonathankai]

I had the wildest, plot-heavy dream about Yi city crew. It was rather chaotic, but the key points were:

- modern AU

- they traveled all over Europe

- there was a bad guy, who kiled people and then turned them into some kind of monsters under his contorl (asshole! he stole Xue Yang’s role!)

- idk what these monsters were, but they were definitely NOT fierce corpses

- yeah, he got A-Qing at some point :C

In the final act of the dream XY disappeared, and XX chased him until he found him at a remote location somewhere in Scandinavia (?). But not five minutes after the bad guy showed up with his minions, and the dream ends with XX & XY indulging in a fight against him. 

So yeah, I don’t know how that story ended, but I’d like to believe that they beat him, and now that A-Qing isn’t mind-controled, she’s back to her consciousness :’)

Text under cut:

A-Q: In theory, I could kick your ass now.

XY: In theory, I’ve just kicked doctor Frankenstein’s and several of your creepy siblings’ asses, but go on, I’d like to see you try.

XX: It’s alright. We can work it out. Just have to think of some way to hide claws. 

[rafey-baby]

hidden

outlaw!rafe holding pogue!reader hostage in her own house after banging his fist on her door in the middle of a stormy night, demanding to be let in with a gun in hand and wild waves in the sea of his eyes…

18+ mdni!

c/w: outlaw!rafe being mean and manipulative, mentions of murder, violence & other dark themes, he’s also weirdly soft in the end?

wc: 2k

he's been stuck in my head for a while so hope u enjoy xx

part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

There’s still sleep dust lingering in her lashes when she hesitantly cracks open the oak door at 3 am— revealing a tall, scary man with scarlet stains on his big hands, white button up saturated in maroon and a scowl painted over his unsettling countenance.  

She stands there like a deer in headlights, unmoving as he stares down at her with arctic eyes as chilling as the frigid waters surrounding an iceberg.  

At first, she thinks she’s still asleep, tired brain conjuring up some creepy murderer scenario where she’s the idiot who does everything the audience in the movie theater is screaming at her not to.

But as she properly blinks her sleepy eyes open, she comes to the realization that this is not a horror film and this intimidating stranger (with oddly appealing features) who’s definitely just killed someone is very much real.  

She’s about to open her mouth and she’s not sure whether she was going to scream for help or simply stare at him with her mouth hung open in shock but she doesn’t get the chance to find out before he’s pasting a massive palm over her mouth.  

“Don’t make a sound,” his low mutter makes a shiver run down her spine. 

And she doesn’t, instead she just blinks, too out of it to even move a muscle; the reek of the dried blood on his hand hitting her nose, making her face scrunch up. And she doesn’t know why she’s not putting up any sort of a fight, blaming it on the fact that half of her brain is still swimming in the lake of her dreamland; soaking up the glittering sunbeams that never dull and dipping its toes in the grass that consists of misty nebula and twinkling stars. 

And he’s just so mean, ordering her around with a gun to her head, manhandling her around to his liking, grumbling about needing to stay at her house for a bit since he needs a hiding place from the cops after dumping a body somewhere in the ocean and getting caught. Apparently, his temper really just got the best of him at times.  

“I didn’t even mean to kill the guy, alright. He just kept pissing me off on purpose and I was provoked, what was I supposed to do?” He offers as an explanation that seems to do very little to soothe her overstrung heart that’s thudding in her ribcage. It’s loud enough for him to hear; almost as if she’s a terrified rabbit and he’s a big bad wolf, hunting down his prey.  

“I’m taking a shower now, and you’re not gonna move an inch, you understand? Cause if you do, I’m gonna have to hurt you, and I really don’t wanna do that, okay?” 

She nods her head, unable to form any coherent sentences. 

He takes note of the way her inhale gets caught in her throat when he steps closer to her, inquiring whether she lives alone or not, to which she just nods her head again.  

“Dumb girl”, he tuts, shaking his head in disapproval. “When someone’s knocking on your door in the middle of the night you don’t fucking open, alright?”  

She’s making it entirely too easy for him.  

The second he’s in her bathroom, she forces her exhausted brain to think; quickly coming up with a rickety plan as she listens to the water streaming down from behind the door. She waits for a moment, making sure the coast is clear before she bolts towards her bedroom, trembling fingers grabbing her phone from her nightstand and trying to dial 911.  

However, her shaky hands don’t help her one bit when they drop the phone; the clattering sound of it hitting the floor echoing in the quietness of the room.  

She can’t breathe, her brain short-circuits as she bends down, reaching for the wretched device that has somehow tumbled under her bed. However, when she finally catches it in an unsteady grip, she hears the shower turn off; an eerie stillness following. In her state of panic, she fruitlessly tries to turn it back on and call for help but it’s proving to be harder than she thought when her lungs decide to stop working, her respiration shallow and her heartbeat ringing in her ears.  

“Boo,” a low whisper right behind her makes her blood run cold; a shiver traveling down her spine as she slightly jumps, a faint gasp leaving her.  

“Why did you just do that, huh? Told you, didn’t wanna fucking hurt you and then you go and pull this shit,” a strong hand is gripping her by her throat as he turns her around to face him.  

“I’m sorry, I...I don’t—” she’s paralyzed, unable to move.  

“You don’t what, huh?” He stares into her horror-stricken eyes with an almost bored look, seemingly entirely indifferent to her torment.  

“Can’t…can’t breathe,” her voice is nearly inaudible, making a grim chuckle bubble out of his chest.  

“Can’t breathe? Maybe you should’ve thought about that before, yeah?” He scoffs, cruel words mocking her.  

“You’re so fucking stupid, want me to kill you, is that what you want?” He grits out as he squeezes at her neck, making her feel dizzy; gasping for air.  

“No! No, please. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Won’t— won’t do it again, promise, I’ll do anything—” she manages to force out as he’s nearly crushing her windpipe in his unrelenting grip.  

“Anything, huh? That’s real tempting and all but what I need you to do is not pull stupid shit like this, you understand?”  

“I won’t, I promise. You can...stay here for as long as you want and I’ll help, okay?” she thinks she’s gonna pass out soon, stars peppering behind her fluttering lids and her weakened limbs starting to feel heavy. His coarse panting fills her eardrums as he seems to contemplate her offer for a moment.  

“If you even think about running to the cops tonight, I’m gonna fucking find you, you understand?” 

She’s frantically nodding her head and at last, his hold begins to loosen around her trachea, allowing for her greedy lungs to finally suck in air as she takes a step back, trying to even out her respiration.  

He doesn’t say anything, silently observing her as she clears her throat, swallowing a few times as she tries to pacify her racing heart and calm the thoughts running around her head; trying to reassure herself that she’s still alive and she will stay that way if she just doesn’t rile him up anymore.  

He notices how her rounded eyes look up at him as he stands before her, smelling like her honey-scented body wash and orange blossom shampoo, nothing but a towel hanging low on his hips, leaving very little to her imagination as the room grows quiet.  

“What’s— um…what’s your name?” Her voice is creaky when she tries a different approach once she feels the flat floorboards under her wobbly feet again, a nervous hesitation overlaying her precarious question.  

“Don’t worry about it,” he simply dismisses her, but a small pout molds her mouth as she stares at him and he lets out a discontented sigh, rolling his eyes.  

“Rafe,” he finally responds, not bothering to ask for hers, seemingly not caring enough for it. She tells him, nonetheless and he laughs at her priorities. A literal criminal has broken into her home and she cares about fucking introductions.  

“So…have you— have you killed anyone else?” She doesn’t know why she’s trying to make small talk with him but she supposes if she gets him to talk about something, choking her to death won’t be at the forefront of his mind anymore.  

“You seriously wanna know?” He raises his brows. 

She thinks about it for a moment and then settles on shaking her head, followed by a harsh chuckle rumbling out from his sturdy chest.  

“So, uh— what is it that you do? Like besides…killing people and stuff?” She tries once more.  

“Look, the less you know, the better, alright?” He simply states, making her let out a soft sigh in defeat.  

All of a sudden, a vigorous thunder crackles behind her windows, an ablaze lightning illuminating her dimly lit bedroom soon after.  

She flinches at the sound and the sinister way it momentarily lights up his face.  

“You scared of a little storm?” He feigns concern as he peers down at her.  

“N— no,” she lies, forcing her face to stay neutral, hesitant about him finding out her weaknesses.  

“Don’t worry. I’ll keep you safe, yeah?” The mocking grin on his face causes a shudder to travel through her as she swallows, wishing this was all just a nightmare she could wake up from.  

- - - - - - - - - - - - 

After that little incident, he thinks that she’s just as sweet as sugar, offering to make him tea and asking if he wants a blanket or an extra pillow so he’d be more comfortable sleeping on the couch.  

He can tell that she’s merely doing it because she’s terrified of him, which she should be. Nonetheless, he thinks it feels nice to be pampered, doted on; to have a pretty girl following his orders like a trained puppy. Makes him figure he's gonna enjoy his stay just fine.  

The following morning though, he’s woken up by her shaky figure standing next to his own tired form, pointing his gun at him.  

His softened bones feel mellow from the sleep and he lets out a sigh, rubbing at his sleepy eyes and shifts to sit on the couch cushions; teasingly lifting his hands up in surrender. 

“Puppy’s got a gun, huh? Trying to be all tough now, are we?” There’s a lazy smile on his face.  

“I— I want you to…leave,” she says, voice rickety and words unsure.  

And he’s trying to take her serious, he really is, but it’s proving to be a little difficult since she resembles a scared little kitten more than someone who knows what they’re doing.  

“You want me to leave? Maybe you should work on your pitch, I’m not very convinced, you know?” The exasperating smirk plastered on his face makes her brows crease.  

“Rafe, this is not a joke,” a scowl shades her face and he thinks she looks rather adorable.  

“Come on, Puppy. You’re not gonna shoot me. You don’t even know how to use that thing, do you?” His voice is even; she hesitates. 

“Well, it can’t be that…complicated?” It’s more of a question than a statement and he really can’t keep the chuckle from bubbling out of his throat. Her frown deepens.  

“Why don’t you give it to me, yeah? You don’t want death on your conscience. Would break you, you’re too soft for that shit.”  

“You don’t— know me.” 

“I know you enough,” he says, finally standing on his feet. He takes a slow step towards her and she squeezes the gun tighter in her trembling fingers.  

“If I give it to you, you’re gonna— you’re gonna…kill me. I don’t wanna die,” her words are hysterical, rushed.  

“Now who said anything about killing you? Look, if you give me the gun right now, I’m not gonna do anything. I give you my word, alright?” He’s towering over her, solid chest nearly grazing the barrel.  

“I don’t trust you,” her voice is a whisper.  

“I know, Pup. But I also know that you’re not gonna use that,” his steady hands are a contrast to her own precarious ones when he grabs for the firearm, slipping it from her weak fingers with ease.  

“There we go, no need to be so fucking theatrical, yeah?” He lowers his head in order to lock his eyes with her frenzied ones.  

“See? Not hurting you, am I?”  

She manages out a hum of agreement and then her waterline is brimming with water, salty droplets trickling down her cheeks as she chokes out a sob. “I’m sorry. I don’t—”  

“Hey, hey it’s all good. Mistakes happen, yeah?” He says and then his strong arms are wrapping around her trembling form because he’s not a complete monster and for some reason that makes her weep harder.  

Her crocodile tears wet his shirt but he doesn’t seem to mind, big paw rubbing against her back. And it’s almost…comforting, she thinks as he starts to sway her from side to side, like he’s trying to calm down a crying child.  

“There you go, just let it all out and maybe you can chill out a bit, yeah? You Pogues can be so fucking dramatic sometimes,” he pats at her back, rolling his eyes as she takes in shaky inhale after shaky inhale until she’s feeling slightly more placid.  

“Shit, if I’d known you were such a crybaby I would’ve picked another house,” he grumbles, pulling away from her weakened form, pushing her back to stumble on her feet; setting the gun back on the coffee table with a clank. 

[ddollipop]

CURB THIS SICKNESS. . . ! — ( SOFT YANDERE!PLAGUE DOCTOR OC X READER. )

#. synopsis! — there's a virus outside that's snuffed out the lights of many. . . and lucian refuses to let you meet such a miserable fate .

#. contains! — f!reader , explicitly nsfw content , multiple orgasms , vaginal fingering , implications of paranoia , cum swallowing , oral sex , cunnilingus , blowjob , vaginal sex , obsessive behavior , frequent usage of endearment terms (love, darling, angel) , missionary position , bathing , established relationship , slight choking , slight hair pulling , creampie , biting .

#. word count! — 5.1k .

#. oc carrd! — click here to find more information on lucian + other original characters of mine that i might write for in the future! xx .

When the virus began to spread in all directions from its alleged location of origin, —you were certain you’d be dead before winter. If not from sickness, then certainly from another disease, or at the hands of some twisted maniac just searching for someone to slaughter that nobody would care enough to miss. You thought it was only a matter of time before you succumbed to hunger or thirst or the changing chill of autumn, or maybe something completely different: but something was bound to happen, and you were sure of it.

And it did. . . But it was nothing like what you had in mind.

Lucian may have seemed like something out of a horror story passed down through generations, still clad in his working attire the night he scooped you up in his arms from a shabby alleyway like a stray kitten, but he was surprisingly gentle (and perhaps unusually quiet.) He wasn’t very talkative, but he cared for you in a way you were completely unaccustomed to, —prepared you a warm meal, brewed you chamomile tea, ran you a hot bath, and gave you a place to sleep for the night. He said you were slightly fevered and a bit malnourished, but all things considered, it could have been worlds worse.

“You’re lucky,” he hummed, a gloved hand smoothing over your jaw, “the pestilence hasn’t taken hold of you.”

Even back then, that wasn’t why you felt lucky. . . No, much to the contrary, you felt lucky because this man had taken you in without expecting anything of you in return, and he sought to keep you safe from the rot of the outside world. Thus, little by little, you stopped caring much about going out there. 

His place is a bit quaint for two, but it’s homey, and it smells perpetually of lavender. Over time, he’s shifted the sleeping arrangements, and now you rest in his arms each night; about as close as one can get to being a lover without having the label.

A part of you is sure you could get it if you asked, but to you, it doesn’t matter much. At the end of each day, he comes home to you, and that’s what counts. You take care of the housework while he’s away (not that there’s ever much to do.) For as odd as he is, his living space is free of most things, —no trinkets unrelated to his work (which you are not keen on touching), and he’s meticulous about picking up after himself and keeping all his items in order, so your unofficial duties are few and far between. Otherwise, the rest boils down to cooking meals, washing clothes, and keeping yourself entertained while he’s away. . . Like some kind of glorified trophy wife.

And sure, this will probably get old eventually, but for now, this is what you’re working with. He likes to have you close and to know where you are, —to know that you’re safe and not out getting infected by anyone or anything. If you’re at his home, you’re safe from all the filth of the outside world, and heaven knows it’s so nice to come home and lie next to a body so utterly unmarred by the grime of society.

You’re sure once the virus has stilled, he’ll ease up.

But tonight is not that night. Lucian all but stumbles through the door, and you can hear his rapid breathing through the long, beak-like shape of his mask. He seems startled and frantic, and you rush over, a concerned expression crossing your features.

“Lucian? Are you alright?” You ask, reaching out to put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

In an instant, he snatches your wrist and grabs for the other, holding one in either hand. His grip is fervent, but far from painful, and you become more confused the longer he goes without explaining the state he’s found himself in.

“Lucian—”

“Darling,” he cuts you off, “you mustn’t get near the door.”

“Okay,” you nod in compliance, “but why?”

“The pestilence has taken hold of this city,” he replies. “The air out there, you wouldn’t believe the thickness of that putrid aroma. It’s suffocating.”

Before you can ask if there’s something you can do to quench his worries, he tugs you away from the entrance and into the bathroom. He removes his gloves and sets them aside, reaching down to begin running a warm bath. Then he looks to you, almost expectantly.

“Strip, please,” he encourages, —saying it like he’s desperate for the act, albeit not necessarily under the context you’d prefer of him.

“Lucian—”

“Darling,” he hisses, “please, do as I ask of you.”

His bare hands cup your cheeks.

“Please,” he repeats.

It’s hard to deny him when he asks like that and has been so good to you, and it’s not as if he’s asking for a lot. He’s just having a bad night, and if scrubbing yourself down will help ease his mind a bit, you’re willing to put in that sliver of extra effort for his sake.

Lucian sighs in relief as you begin to disrobe.

“Thank you,” he comments. “I really don’t have a clue what I’d do if you fell ill. . . I don’t think my heart could handle such a thing.”

You slip the last of your clothing off and step gingerly into the filling tub. It’s not long enough to stretch out in, so you bunch yourself up neatly to fit the space and look up at him once more.

“I feel fine,” you assure.

“I’m glad,” he replies. “Even so, it’s much better to air on the side of caution. The human body is a dangerously fickle thing, and it can be incredibly fragile. I’ve seen as much firsthand more times than I can count. In its infancy, this virus is little more than a common cold, but progresses into something fatal at a rapid pace.”

You simply nod as he kneels next to the tub, rolling his sleeves up.

“Your breathing is ragged, Lucian,” you state, “you should take that mask off and get some fresh air.”

“After,” he answers quickly.

He reaches for the half-used lavender soap bar and lathers it on his palms, then reaches out to smooth the suds over your arms and neck. His motions are a little rough and all too urgent. This is far from the first time he’s accompanied you for a bath, but it is the first time he’s ever done so and been this aggressive in his approach (if only as a result of his own anxiety.)

For the time being, he seems to avoid your breasts, instead reaching for one of your legs to hike it up out of the water. He repeats this process with the other, cleaning you until he seems satisfied. When he makes no move to revisit your chest, you take the soap from his hand and lather it yourself, placing it in its previous spot before leaning back slightly and allowing your hands to travel where you’d have liked for his to go.

Lucian watches but doesn’t touch. Your fingertips nudge at your nipples, feeling them harden under the minstrations, your bottom lip slipping between your teeth. If nothing else, he should be getting the hint by now.

Surprisingly, you’ve never had sex with him in all the months you’ve spent curled up in his arms, sleeping in his bed. He’s watched you take care of yourself on a number of occasions, has helped with his fingers another few times, —and allowed you to wrap your hand around him once a few weeks prior; but anything beyond that has seemed to be off limits. You’ve chalked it up to his shyness, or perhaps his distaste for human contact as a result of the pestilence; but tonight feels distinctly different.

Even in his previous state of frazzlement, Lucian seems all too content to sit back and watch you fondle your own breasts, soapy fingers clutching and releasing in tandem. You’ve always liked for him to watch you do things like this. Though his mask obscures the view of his face, you just know his eyes are trained on you, soaking up every movement, and you like to think he’s drooling at the way you grope yourself for his enjoyment (and for your own.)

“Lucian?” You prompt, half-lidded eyes glancing over to him.

His shoulders straighten as you say his name.

“You’re very beautiful,” he says, words almost too muffled by the mask to be made out.

“You think so?” You smirk a bit.

“I do.”

Ah, but that’s nothing new, and it’s nothing he hasn’t shared with you before. On the very night he took you in and washed your hair, he smoothed his gloved hands against your scalp and mumbled about how pretty you looked, even with dirt still caked on your skin. Even covered in filth from the alleyways you’d been sleeping in, he thought you were nothing less than stunning, —a real vision to behold, and he’s never skimped on such compliments.

You pause for a moment, reaching out to grasp for his hands. He allows the gesture, though he seems a bit confused, leaning in closer to the rim of the tub as you position him to your liking.

“Do you think I feel feverish?” You inquire, placing one of his hands on your neck and another on one of your breasts.

He makes no move to pull away, firming his grip up almost instantaneously, as if he’s been itching to feel you this way.

“Perhaps a bit warm,” he mumbles, taking a moment to roll your nipple between two nimble fingers, “but body temperature is known to rise during times of. . .” he trails off, clears his throat, then utters: “arousal.”

You trail your nails down his arm, letting your head tip back again. His hands are a bit calloused, but they feel so good against your skin, and you let a few moans slip past your lips. It’s not often he touches you like this without his gloves on, but the flesh-on-flesh contact is electrifying.

“Not to worry you, but I do feel a bit strange,” you huff slightly.

Through the slightly tinted bath water, Lucian can still watch your hand as it travels between your thighs.

“I’m just a throbbing mess,” you hum, giving him a pointed stare; “but you’ll take care of me. . . Right, Doctor?”

It may just be your imagination, but you could swear you heard his breathing shudder at that request. You’ve never been this forward with him, but something apart from the facial expression that’s still hidden away tells you that he likes where this is going. His fingers clamp down on the column of your throat, squeezing just enough to make taking in air a bit more of a struggle, but not anywhere near hard enough to be fatal.

The bit about being a throbbing mess was by no means an exaggeration on your part, so you take matters into your own fingers for the time being, drawing circles on your clit beneath the water.

“Of course,” he finally finds the voice to agree, “—I’d do anything to keep you from feeling unwell.”

That is what you like to hear.

“Anything?”

“Anything.” 

His grip tightens on your throat again, for emphasis, and with that, he seems to come slightly undone.

“Darling, that’s why I’ve demanded you stay here in my home, —our home. It’s safe here, free of contaminants and filth and anything that could cause you harm,” he says, the words spilling out like he’s been holding them back since he first set his sights on you.

“The world outside is ill, not just this rotten city. I’m working tirelessly to combat this pestilence, but as things stand now, the safest place you can be is here. With me. You understand that, my love. . . Don’t you?”

You’re only half listening, but you nod in agreement anyway. Whatever he’s saying, you trust his opinion on the matter.

“Of course,” you gasp, almost slipping a finger inside yourself to the tune of his melodic voice.

“I knew you would,” he continues, loosening the grip on your neck again. “You know I only want what’s best for you, that everything I do is to ensure your safety, —to eliminate the possibility of you ever falling sick.”

“Of course,” you repeat, head growing cloudier by the minute. “You’ve always taken such good care of me, right from the very beginning.”

God, he’s so elated that you’re seeing things his way. The way this makes him feel is almost too much to handle.

“I try so hard, darling, I truly do,” he says, both hands coming up to cup your cheeks.

“Please, Lucian,” you mumble desperately, “I need you tonight.”

He complies, shedding his long coat and draping it over your shoulders once you’ve stepped out of the tub. The chill of the air against your wet skin leaves your nipples hard and sensitive, and as he leads you to the bedroom, you hope he realizes just what it is you’re asking for. His fingers are a plentiful start, and you just know they’ll feel so good stuffed inside you, curling to hit all the right places, —but they’re nothing compared to the cock he’s stingily hidden away for all this time.

Tonight, you want him in all his glory in the glow of the lanterns on the walls. You want to strip him bare and gag on the length between his thighs, feel him twitch against the roof of your mouth, tease every vein that runs up his shaft. It’s not enough to grind against him while you’re half asleep or hump his clothed thigh until you’ve left his pants damp and your pussy sopping, just begging to be fucked by this man who might just love you more than he could ever fear any virus that lurks outside these walls.

“Don’t fret,” he tells you, though it sounds more like a command than a gesture to soothe any worries, “just lie back. I’ll be sure to give you. . . A proper examination.”

You could cum just hearing that.

With half your body pressed against the headboard and his coat nearly slipping off your body completely, he sets to work in his underclothes and mask. It’s by no means an uncommon sight, but there’s something distinct about him this late evening; the way his black attire contrasts so beautifully with the stark paleness of his skin and the mystery it shrouds him in that you’re just dying to sink your teeth into. Everything hidden beneath that cautious wardrobe and that long mask. . . You’ve gotta have it. It’s a necessity.

His fingers, ungloved, begin softly with your calves, tracing senseless lines.

“I’m not so fragile,” you remind him.

For as oblivious as he can be, Lucian takes the hint, and by the time he’s reached your thighs, he’s content to give them the same treatment as your throat.

The way he splits you apart is almost painfully clinical, a thumb on either side of your lips, peering through the eye holes of his mask to admire the way your folds glisten in the orange lantern light. A few prodding strokes leave you biting your lip again, body waning in anticipation for the moment he finally turns his hand over and sinks the longest of his fingers inside you, —slowly, but deliberately. It’s impossible to see his expression, but you hope his mouth hangs open a little at the way your cunt suckles on his finger, encouraging him to prod more and maybe stuff another few inside for you to grind against.

There’s something about the warmth of his fingers that gets you off almost in equal amounts to the way he moves. Another finger inside, and you whine, halfway to an orgasm from this alone.

He’s not particulary rough in his execution, but there’s a clean meticulousness in every movement that leaves every cell in your body craving more, begging for anything he can offer. Months upon months of wanting, of dropping hints, of hoping he’d catch on and finally see things your way, —and at last, you’ve made it. And now that you’re here, you’re content to simply lie still and let him have his way with you.

“Please don’t stop,” you beg, nearly choking on the words when the tips of his fingers brush just the right spot.

“Before you’re satisfied?” He sits forward a bit, resting his free hand on your stomach to press you down onto the bed. “Darling, I couldn’t fathom it.”

You will your upper body forward, grabbing for the hand on your stomach to move it up to your throat. He squeezes, scissoring the fingers inside you, watching closely as your body shakes and your eyes roll back a bit in ecstasy.

“I’ve tried,” he says to you suddenly. “I’ve tried so desperately to be gentle with you.”

You smile.

“I appreciate that,” you answer. “But I don’t want you to be gentle at the moment.”

“That’s a dangerous request, my love,” he warns.

God, you hope so.

You reach forward and grab at the beak of his mask, pulling it upward gently until it begins to slip off and reveal the handsome face underneath. Dark hair, dark eyes, but skin almost pale enough to be sickly, you meet his gaze just long enough to ask for permission, then lean in to kiss him on the mouth. It’s the first time, and it’s electric. He’s avoided this for months, —avoided your mouth, your unspoken pleas, all the passes you made for the sake of keeping himself at bay. But here you are now with two of his fingers stuffed inside you, his hand on your throat, and your lips slotted against his own.

“Please,” you murmur, fingers clutching at the fabric of his shirt.

And you can feel the restraints of his mind come unwound.

He’s no longer gentle in the way he fucks you silly with his fingers, hammering them over and over and over again into that delicious spot buried deep inside you, squeezing your throat hard enough to cut your breathing off. The way your pussy spasms as you cum is blissful, and he loves the way your arousal soaks his digits, loves the way your back arches, soundless moans spilling forth as he makes you orgasm.

“I fucking tried,” he says again.

It’s almost manic, so desperate and sort of pathetic in the kind of way that turns you on. This is the first time you’ve ever heard him curse, and it dawns on you that even the filthiest of words sound so unendingly elegant when they’re spoken by Lucian.

“I tried to be gentle. I tried to keep you safe here, —to shelter you from whatever forsaken wasteland remains out there,” he insists, his fingers still buried in your twitching cunt. “I just wanted to protect you.”

He lightens the grip on your throat as you lean in to kiss him again, cupping his face in your hands.

“You have,” you assure him.

“You take such good care of me, Lucian,” you mumble into his ear. “Let me show you how grateful I am.”

The fingers stuffed inside you slowly slip out, and reach for his hand, guiding them to your lips, taking his digits into your mouth to taste yourself on them. He watches with hunger and interest as you clean him with your tongue. He leans in to kiss you to get a taste of it himself, grasping your hair near the scalp and taking a fistful hard enough to make you gasp.

“I can’t let you leave,” he murmurs. “It’s not safe out there. When this pestilence has been subdued, I’ll do this all correctly. We can start from the beginning, and I’ll be a gentleman.”

“I look forward to it,” you answer softly.

“You’ll stay until then?” He inquires.

He’s clearly overreacting, but it’s hard to care when you just want him inside you. Lucian has seen death day in and day out, —so it’s no wonder it feels like it permeates everything around him. He just doesn’t want you to suffer such a fate, and you’re confident that you won’t, as long as he’s yours.

“Of course I will,” you answer.

It’s like something primal takes over. Suddenly his lips are on yours in a bruising kiss, and his hands are grasping roughly at your breasts, pushing you down onto the bed as he crawls between your legs. He pauses, hovering just above your dripping cunt, turning his head to sink his teeth into the meat of your thigh. It makes you squeal a bit, and he kisses the teethmarks he left behind as if in apology.

You can’t help but wonder how long he’s been yearning for this. It’s like every part of him is thrumming from the thrill of it all, and this man who has previously refused to even kiss you on the mouth is now stationed exactly where you want him, tongue lolling out to lick a solid stripe up your folds. He laps like a man starved, then spreads you apart with his thumbs to suck your clit mercilessly.

It’s good enough to make your vision go blurry, and you can’t seem to form proper words through the haze. Desperately, your fingers claw at the sheets of this mattress, and he moans against your hot cunt, sending a vibration rippling through your core that makes your back arch on instinct. You mumble something that comes out like gibberish, pussy convulsing against the flat of his tongue.

His arm comes round to press your hips down, forcing you to be still. It’s the kind of toruture you’re sure you’ll learn to live for. There’s only so much you can wriggle under his arm, which has a surprising amount of force despite his rather lanky stature.

From what little friction you manage as you attempt to grind against his tongue, you tip yourself over the edge and as the knot in your stomach unties for the second time tonight, he continues licking, lapping at the juices that spill forth.

He stands and reaches for the top button of his shirt, not bothering to wipe his face, chin and lips glistening with your aftermath. You watch him undress with lustful eyes, propping yourself up on your elbow, then slinking back against the headboard once again, resting your weary body against it. The quiver of your thighs doesn’t stop you from nudging at your swollen clit.

“I wanted to be a gentleman,” he comments, untucking the shirt from his pants and pulling the front open.

It’s not skin you haven’t seen before. In fact, you’ve seen every inch of him at one point or another; just never all at once, and now, you’re waiting with bated breath to see him completely exposed for your eyes only.

“I truly did. I wanted to give you comfort and security, —to love you as you deserve. And I knew from the moment I saw you that only I could give you exactly what you’ve always needed.”

You hum in acknowledgement as he continues to strip himself bare.

“But it’s so clear to me now that I’ve neglected you,” he continues. “This beautifully desperate display is all a result of my negligence. . . I failed to realize just how much you needed me like this. How much you needed the touch of a man. . .”

He sounds apologetic, but your eyes are fixated on his half-hard cock. The last time you saw it, he asked that you keep your mouth away; insisting it wasn’t sanitary to use it for such purposes, terrified that you might contract some sort of illness if you sucked his dick for the sheer enjoyment of doing so. This time, however, you have a feeling you’re well past that.

To test the waters, you let your hand fall away from your cunt, slipping off the side of the bed to kneel before him. He gazes down at you as you open your lips and let your tongue fall out, encouraging him to make what he will of it.

“My love,” he says, placing four fingers under your chin to rest his thumb against your tongue for a moment, “—I’ll make everything up to you. . .”

His free hand pumps his cock once, twice, thrice, —then he places it gently on the flat of your tongue, letting you feel the weight and the warmth of it. He sighs.

“Darling,” he groans, “ah. . .”

It takes very little for him to come close to cumming in your mouth, just a few minutes of sucking him off, listening to him moan, feeling him quiver at your touch. You hum with his member stuffed down your throat, and he cants his hips reflexively, an orgasm bubbling up beneath his skin.

Your non-dominant hand holds his cock steady while the other is stuck between your thighs, rubbing furiously at your clit, making you whimper along his shaft. When he notices, Lucian finds that wholly unacceptable and snatches you up to position you on the edge of the bed, relieving the pressure on your aching knees. You weren’t down there for long, but kneeling was hardly comfortable on the hard floor.

He spreads your thighs apart and smacks the pads of his fingers against your slit.

Whatever he’s doing, you’re sure you’ll enjoy it to the fullest, so you occupy yourself with his cock again from this new angle, bending awkwardly to mouth at the reddened tip. His fingers find their way inside you once more, working their delicate magic, brushing against all the right places. At this point, you’re more desperate for his dick to slip inside you like this, but you take what he offers in stride (and more of him into your mouth in the process.)

He’s vocal, and that’s utterly divine. His gravely moans and the pump of his fingers leave you cumming for a third time before his first orgasm arises, depositing a sizable amount of his seed into your mouth.

“I love you,” he huffs, —and if he were anyone else, you’d be certain it was just the oral sex talking, but no. . . Lucian wouldn’t have said it if he didn’t mean it.

Of course, he’s made similar confessions over the months, and has certainly treated you like it long before he ever expressed it so directly, but still. . . It feels nice to hear it, if nothing else.

“I love you too,” you answer honestly, urging him closer with your arms wrapped around his neck. “I’m yours tonight, completely. . . If you’ll have me. . .”

“Oh, darling, don’t be foolish,” he remarks, kissing you deeply. “You’ve been mine since the moment we met.”

Your back to the cool sheets, he lingers over you now, his shadow looming over you so monstrously. There’s a stark flush of red on his face that has begun to spread down the length of his neck, and one of his hands finds its way to your breasts as the other smoothes across your thigh. The head of his cock kisses your sopping entrance, sending a series of chills from the top of your spine to the bottom.

His breath on your neck makes your chest tighten, and he finds your lips with his own again as he sinks inside you, filling you up.

“Lucian,” you whimper, helpless to his touch as he pauses, buried down to the hilt inside your cunt.

He presses a few gentle kisses to your throat, murmuring something about how nice it feels to be stuffed inside you. He feels your nails dig into his shoulders as you adjust to his intrusion.

“You must understand by now,” he says, mumbling the words right next to your bitten earlobe. “Everything I do is for you.”

“I do,” you gasp slightly. 

As he begins to move, your walls clench around him, and he exhales deeply against the junction of your neck and shoulder. You roll your hips to match his pace, but as he goes faster, that becomes fruitless. Eventually, you resign yourself to the fate of lying there against the pillows, speared on his cock, him making a mess of you as you moan uncontrollably.

This was everything you’d been hoping for and then some, like some erotic dream come to life. Lucian’s lips travel where they please, —stopping to peck at your jaw, then to suck on your throat. Your breathing is haggard, and he smooths a hand down your side, resting it against your hip for a moment.

“Just a little more,” he whispers, as if to be reassuring.

“Just look how stunning you are, angel,” he murmurs, “how pretty you look like this.”

He kisses you once more.

“You take this so well, like your body was made for me.”

You’re delirious enough to believe that might be the case.

His cock pounds a little harder, and he hits the perfect spot, tearing a desperate yelp from your throat. You’re overstimulated and weak, but your high is itching just under your skin, and you couldn’t bear to see it disappear.

“Please,” you whimper to him, completely at his mercy, “—please, I’m so close.”

He loves the desperation that clings to your voice. The hand on your hip travels to your clit, pressing roughly against the abused little button, making you jerk slightly. He rubs a few heavy circles against it, and you come undone, cunt spasming around his cock as he chases his own release inside you.

Lucian is sloppy near the end, which may just be the only time you’ve ever known him to not be perfectly calculated and precise. His breath hits your neck again, over and over as he huffs through the hunt, finally sinking his teeth in when he comes to a finish. His cum sits hot inside your cunt, and he catches his breath for a moment, head resting against your throat.

“I apologize,” he utters. “I hope that wasn’t too much for you.”

You exhale slowly, his cock still buried in your heat.

“Don’t apologize,” you murmur, “I enjoyed myself.”

You feel him smile against your neck.

“I’m glad, darling.”

For the first time, he sleeps next to you without clothing, letting you touch every part of him, tangling your limbs together. Your face buried in the crook of his neck, breath fanning softly against him, as close to sleep as you can manage without tumbling over the precipice, Lucian reaches for his long coat and drapes it over your body, holding you closer.

[littlexdeaths]

i called her on the phone and she touched herself - e.m.

ghostface eddie munson x fem reader

18+ ONLY MDNI

warnings: voyerism, mutual masturbation, phone sex, eddie’s a perv but we’re into it, alluding to a knife kink, lots of scream references

i ended up taking a look at this fic today and making some little tweaks and i love it so much more now. this is another repost from my old account but i promise new content will be coming soon. enjoy xx.

word count: 1.5k

The phone rings, loud and shrill in your ear.

It sound causes you to flinch in surprise, heart thudding in your chest when you reach for the receiver. The cheesy horror movie playing on your small tv set now forgotten as you pick up the phone.

“Hello?” Your voice sounds a little breathless, a deep chuckle resounding in your ear.

“Hello, sweetheart.”

The voice on the other end was husky, smooth yet confident.

“Who is this?” You feign a bored tone, your thighs squeezing together unintentionally.

You’d never been so attracted to someone’s voice before— and he’d only spoken two words to you. But something about it felt oddly… familiar.

“Were you expecting a call from someone?” The male asks and you shift slightly to glance at your bedside clock. 8:43 PM.

Steve would still be working at the video store, or he was supposed to be. Unless he decided to prank call you during a lull in customers. Which could very well be a possibility.

“Maybe… why do you wanna know?” Your tone is overly flirty as you decide to play along.

The call now much more exciting than the movie playing out on your tv screen.

You’d never take a suggestion from Keith ever again.

“Hm, a pretty girl like you must be waiting on a call from a boyfriend?”

You can’t help but laugh at that notion, serious relationships weren’t your thing. Despite how attractive and persistent Steve was, a relationship is the last thing you wanted to tangle yourself in right now.

But he clearly was still trying too hard.

You breathe out a heavy sigh, “Nope, no boyfriend.”

Despite being a usually observant person, you still weren’t aware of the eyes trained on your half naked figure. The dark cloaked figure watching from the tree that faced your bedroom window.

“Mm, lucky me then.”

You glance back at the screen when the music begins to swell, hinting that one of the teenagers would be killed off at any moment. A loud scream fills the room as the killer takes one of the camp counselor by surprise.

“What’s that sound?” He asks, unable to see the television from his vantage point.

“Oh, just a movie.”

The male hums deeply, the sound causes you to squirm against your bedsheets. Heat pools in your lower belly and you mindlessly let your fingertips dance along the edge of your lace panties.

“What kind of movie?” He probes, his dark eyes now drawn to the silky skin of your thighs.

You begin shifting, lying back fully against your pillows. You rest the receiver between your ear and shoulder as you spread your legs open. Unintentionally giving him the perfect view as you dip your fingers past the flimsy material. The sight causes his cock to stir beneath his dark jeans.

“A scary one,” you reply, despite this being the least scary thing you’ve ever seen.

Eddie grins beneath the white ghostface mask, sheathing his blade before he reaches for the zipper on his pants. He tugs them down to free his hardened cock, pulling his mouth away from the phone to spit into the palm of his hand. The male wrapping it around his thick length whilst your fingers begin to circle over your clit.

While the brunette had come here with the intention to scare you… this turn of events was far more interesting.

“Oh, you like scary movies?”

He grins, enjoying how your voice seems to shake over the line, but not for the reason he initially expected.

“Y-Yes…”

Only pleasure laces your tone.

Eddie inhales deeply, watching as you twirl your fingers around the phone cord with your other hand. The light of the television illuminates your body with an almost ethereal like glow.

“Hmm, tell me… what’s your favorite scary movie, sweetheart?”

Your breath hitches in your throat, now shoving your soaked underwear completely down your thighs. You kick them off the edge of your bed before dipping a finger inside yourself. You chew on your lower lip to hold back a moan you so desperately wanted to let escape, eagerly slipping another digit inside.

This wasn’t the first time you’d touched yourself like this with Steve on the other end of the phone, but this was by far the most exciting.

Little did you know the male on the other end was definitely not Steve Harrington.

Dropping the twisted cord you grip the receiver in your unoccupied hand, eyes fluttering shut when you begin pumping your fingers even deeper inside yourself. Letting your thumb brush over your swollen clit as you curl your fingers up.

“Halloween,” you breathe, a low grunt sounds on the other end of the line as the male strokes his cock in tandem with each thrust of your fingers. The slick sounds reverberate softly through the receiver.

“Is that the one with the guy in the white mask who walks around stalking babysitters?” He asks, despite already knowing the answer himself.

A soft ‘mhm’ leaves you as you revel in his throaty moans.

“I liked that one… it was scary.” His voice drops an octave, Eddie unintentionally slipping into his dungeon master voice.

Keeping the cell phone tucked into his shoulder as he adjusts himself between the tree branches. Increasing the pace of his fist as he continues to watch you pleasure yourself through your window.

The movie playing out on your tv screen is now long forgotten as his deep voice is the only thing you can focus on.

“I like that thing you’re doing with your voice, Steve. It’s sexy.” You whimper, already feeling yourself teetering on the edge of bliss. No longer able to keep up the oblivious act anymore.

Eddie chuckles darkly, sending a shiver up your spine. “Oh sweetheart, this isn’t Steve.”

As much as those words should frighten you, it only seems to increase the tightening in your lower belly. The jealous edge to them causes a high pitched whine to leave your lips, pumping your fingers even faster into your dripping heat. Increasing the pressure on your clit, as the male’s deep moans fill your ears.

“God you little slut, you gonna cum f’me?” He growls, feeling his own orgasm drawing near.

His cock twitches in his rough palm as he observes your lower half lifting up off the mattress. Thighs trembling as your orgasm washes over you, milky white spilling over onto his ringed fingers.

Heavy breathing is all that is passed back and forth between the two of you for a moment, your body falling limp against the mattress.

“Fuck, you look so pretty when you cum, baby…” while it was whispered into the phone, you still heard it.

You recognized the husky voice instantly— the pretty but rugged metalhead who always gave you a discount on your weed.

Eddie Munson.

Your eyes instantly snap open, dropping the phone as you sit up. Letting your fingers slip from your drenched core as you rise to your feet. Padding over to your bedroom window and gazing out into the dark night.

You catch sight of a white ghostface mask in between the branches opposite your window. Your eyes meet as you reach back over for the phone, your juices smearing over the handle as you grab onto it. Amusement dances over your features as you tilt your head at him.

“Do you spy on all the girls you deal to, Munson?” You pause, clearly catching the male off guard, “Or am I a special case?”

Eddie doubles back, stuttering out a reply while he attempts to disguise his voice once more but it was too late— you caught him.

“I promise this isn’t what it seems, sweetheart.”

A small giggle leaves your lips as he fumbles his way down from the tree, removing the mask so he can see properly. His bangs stick to his forehead, pale skin flushed pink under the bright moonlight.

He drops the phone and his knife in his haste, the glint of the blade catches your attention. The way the sharp metal reflects in the light makes your heart race, arousal coursing through your veins. You lick your lips when he picks up the discarded items, his brown eyes meeting yours through the glass.

“I think I know why you came here, Munson…” you hum into the receiver once he returns the phone to his ear, your sultry tone causing his cock to stir in his jeans again.

“Why’s that, sweet thing?” He bites back, his dark eyes not leaving your silhouette.

“Someone wants to play psycho killer… but it looks like you need a helpless victim.”

You lean your forearms on your windowsill, noticing the way his adam’s apple bobs when he swallows down a moan. His ringed fingers grip tightly onto the handle of the blade, the male now desperately hanging onto your every word.

“And I’m more than happy to oblige.”

Eddie curses, your words going straight to his now throbbing cock. There was no way he was passing you up on this offer.

“Now… tell me Mr. Ghostface, what do you want?” You feign a frightened tone as you pose the question.

His shallow breaths mingle with the static on the line, anticipation bubbling up inside you.

“I wanna know what your insides feel like.” He groans, his words sending heat straight between your legs.

You squirm when you watch him slide the mask down over his face, glancing back up at you with an almost predatory look.

“Come and find out then, freak.”

Click.

[randombush3]

recuérdame

alexia putellas x reader

summary: you wake up but you're not sure where

words: 1185 (treat this like a prologue ok x)

notes: i hope this actually takes off as a new series so i'm posting it now while i think about what comes next xx

There’s something groggy about the darkness in your mind. It’s not an eyes-closed kind of black; not a piece of white paper doused in ink. 

It’s thick like smog. Grainy. 

And all of a sudden, you are awake. 

There’s an incessant pounding in your mind that is sharp and rhythmic. The lights are too harsh, too much. The bed is hard under your heavy bones. 

You blink and even that small movement is strange, harder than it should be. 

The ceiling is peppered with small, grey dots. It’s terribly ugly, but your eyes cling to it as you try to shake off the haze. 

Slowly, the rest of the room comes into focus: sterile whites, beeping machines, tubes splaying out across what must be your body but feels like deadweight. The steady noise draws your attention after a moment, the sound seeming to echo inside your head. You turn, neck stiff and crunching, to catch a glimpse of a monitor, green lines spiking across its screen. 

The tubes aren’t just on top of you. They must be inside you. 

Something twists in your stomach. 

“You’re… awake.” 

…

No one really knows what to say to Alexia when she receives the call. 

Training is running over, the sun is beginning to set, and the girls are getting restless. The drill is nothing special, and the boredom it brings infects their captain, too, despite her valiant attempts at maturity. 

Alexia wants to get home, tonight of all nights. 

Five days ago, a work trip left her alone with a daughter that isn’t quite hers. There has been an other-mother shaped hole in the family ever since. Madrid continues to be evil. Her Catalan pride is vindicated once more. 

So when Pere blows his whistle, she all but sprints into the changing room (much to her coach’s dismay, since training ended because he assumed no one could run at that speed anymore), image of picture-perfect leadership be damned. 

Her shower is fast, clothes are shoved on even faster, and she is just about to walk through the automatic exit doors when her phone rings. 

A location update, she assumes. Or a complaint from an impatient tweenager (god, they seem to be fountains of those). 

It’s to her horror that she is incorrect. 

The nurse on the other line is eerily calm, but does not waste time beating around the bush. Her instructions are clear: come to the hospital now. 

“I think my fiancée has just died,” Alexia tells no one in particular. 

The team isn't sure whether or not she is joking. 

That was a week ago, and now she is here, in the hospital. Her bum is accustomed to the hard plastic chairs, her schedule skewed until the doctors finally wake you up from a medically induced coma. Amaia, her stepdaughter, is at her friend’s house, the boy’s mother insisting she care for her while Alexia makes a rather practical visit to the hospital. 

Alexia’s hands shake as she brings them to her face, rubbing her temples. The past week has been wrapped around her like a noose, suffocating and taut. She’s holding herself together but she is doing an uncharacteristically catastrophic job at it. Her mind is still tangled up in the phone call she’d received – and the many others she’d had to make after the nurse had hung up. Although there has been a swarm of activity (flights landing, taxis to the hospital, meals arriving at her front door with well-meaning notes attached), life has felt still. Stagnant. 

She is stuck in something she doesn’t know how to deal with. 

She closes her eyes for a second and inhales with as much steadiness as she can muster, letting the beeping of your monitor anchor her back to the present. It’s a strange sound to feel grateful for, each pulse a reminder that you are still here. With her. 

They have been gradually reducing the sedatives administered to you, making the answer to her question always ‘she will wake up when she wakes up’. The twitches in your finger have grown old now, and she is becoming very impatient. 

“If you wanted a holiday, we could’ve taken time off,” she tells you with a forced chuckle. “You didn’t need to get yourself into a…” 

You shift slightly in the bed. Alexia’s eyes snap open, her body surging upwards in hope. 

“Come on…” she whispers, her voice barely audible. “Please…”

Your eyelids flutter, hesitant, like they’re testing the weight of the world behind them. She hopes: at least it’s something. 

And it could be more, surely? It should be any minute now, according to the doctors. The wait will be over and she can get you back.

It’s been fifteen days since Alexia saw the eyes she fell in love with. 

Words fall out of her mouth but she barely registers them, staring at you listlessly, unprepared for this moment. She had thought about it, of course, imagining how to go about updating you on what you’ve missed: how Amaia’s match yesterday ended in a draw; how her own was a sizable but unsatisfying win. 

She wants to say things she should say more. Reminders, confessions. She wants to let out the anger that you did this to her; that you left, that you didn’t come back. And how she wants to hold you, kiss you, love you even more.

But the first thing Alexia notices behind bleary eyes is terror. Confusion. And, what she had told herself would not happen: a lack of recognition. 

I’m in a hospital, you think, but I don’t know who is here with me. 

The moment stretches on, thin and frail, and Alexia feels the tautness in her stomach like a rope holding dead weight over a cliff. Her heart – bruised, aching, impatient – is pierced by the way you look at her with poorly-masked indifference. 

“Hi,” she tries, waiting for you to come back fully, wanting to skip the part where it hurts so much. Her hand reaches out, hovering above your own, fingers aching to touch you, but she holds back. “Do you know where we are?” 

She should really call the nurse in, but she can’t quite bring herself to disrupt this. 

Your eyes flicker, glancing at the tubes and machines. The mattress hasn’t gotten any softer, nor your body any lighter. “Hospital,” you whisper, throat scratchy and hoarse. The word appears in your mind as almost foreign, coming from somewhere deeper than the blankness of the surface. Then your gaze drifts back to her, the hopeful woman at your bedside, brows furrowing as you struggle to place her into a life you can’t quite recall. Not that you’ve tried; you’ve got a screaming headache. 

The question on your lips twists Alexia’s insides. She anticipates it, with an instinctiveness that almost frustrates you. “I’m Alexia,” she says. She doesn’t sound sure. 

You stare through her and the distance clutches at her neck. Her nightmare lands, cold and final. 

“I’m… sorry. I don’t,” and like how she knows the question, she is well aware of the end of that sentence. 

[leqonsluv3r]

just thinking about…

masterlist taglist

leon kennedy being a good boyfriend despite all his trauma. despite all the horrors he’s faced that he has found something in you. that he actually trusts you more then anyone, probably one of the hardest things he’s ever done. that he loves you unconditionally. sure, it takes time, more time then it probably should but you don’t mind giving him that. you can see how much he’s been through just by the look in his blue eyes.

so you give him all the time he needs, you just be yourself and trust that its enough for him to open up to you and keep you close. you slowly and carefully see a change in leon that you didn’t before. you start to see his emotions peek out a bit. when he wakes up in the morning next to you in your shared bed, pulling you close to him instead of him rolling over. he buries his face in your neck, starting to instantly let the scent of your shampoo lull him into a state of relaxation.

like his body and mind even though in a heavy state of sleep, know its you.

he starts taking you out more when he’s not out on missions, taking you out on small dates. getting coffee down the street from your apartment. he even drives you around, letting you pick the music.

he’s finally understanding what everyone around him is talking about when they told him to find someone he could be around and be comfortable with.

he knew he wasn’t an easy guy to love but you…you were different. you were very persistent in a way he’s never experienced.

you latched onto him when he needed it the most, you probably could tell that without you he would be hanging on by a thread. the small shred of you had infected him and made him fall in love with you.

he started trusting you more, having figured out that by now you weren’t going to abandon him and leave. you were going to stick around and be a part of his life.

and he owed you his for simply being alive.

for continuing to date him when he came home with too many injuries from his last mission or when he woke you up from another nightmare. you didn’t judge him or ridicule him, you were there to clean his injuries and coddle him back to sleep.

something he would never admit out loud — but what his actions would show is — he needed your love and affection more then anything else.

and he knew he wasn’t a perfect boyfriend, he had his flaws as did everyone. but he was a good boyfriend and he did his best.

he took you out, bought you things you didn’t need and showered you with as much affection as man like him could muster. he brought you your favorite coffee every morning from a cafe on the days he was out running, he always heated up a bath for you.

he did things that made him a good boyfriend, things that you had never experienced before.

you both worked for each other in separate ways, but you fit. you worked. like fucked up puzzle pieces that somehow seemed to fit together.

he was damaged and broken, but when you found him, you gave him love and took care of him. you gave him something he had never experienced before and he did the same for you.

even if both of you subconsciously knew it, you didn’t say it out loud. you just lived and he continued to treat you as you deserved to be treated.

you would give him the world if you could and he would do the same in return for you. for all the times you’ve helped him and proven to him that he is worthy of love. something that seemed like a dream once upon a time.

but you made it a reality, you let him prove his love. you let him show you that he could love someone and do the same in return. he didn’t know if he could ever repay you for something like that.

he probably couldn’t.

so he would just love you instead.

and that was good enough for him.

an: this isn’t what you guys probably wanted this week but it’s what your getting bc i’m tired and i just worked 40 hours HASHSH. i love you all so much, pls reblog and like. kisses, xx.

[arieswritez]

puppy love

puppy love | yandere!mark grayson x afab!reader | MULTI-CHAP: 1

cw; DARK CONTENT!!! MDNI!!! reader is neurodivergent, ableism, growing up is messy & adults suck, angst, niceguy™/slight incel mark, childhood friend/bully!mark, mark gets his powers sooner, teeny tiny implications of pseudo incest (blink and you'll miss it), violent rape, threats of violence, & canon typical violence, stalking, implied murder, gender & body dysphoria, mentions/implications of disordered eating, mark teases reader about their body once, overall asshole mark, implied grooming (mark handles it but he's a lil bitch about it later), so, victim blaming, misogyny, the inexplicable horrors of being afab, objectification, sexualization

about; snapshots of you and mark growing up together. neither of you make it to the other end of the spectrum - budding adulthood - unscathed . . . but at least you have each other. what is it they say? Sandbox love never dies.

a/n: alt title [vignettes of a life: growing pains]. here's something to make you wish you were never born xx. this came out wayy longer than i expected & i figured the only way to properly digest it was by breaking it up into chapters. this one’s pretty intense so please heed the warnings. they'll be included in every chapter forward. enjoy! ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

1 .

you still remember the fog of childhood innocence.

the fluffy pajamas that were both comfy and scratchy all at once. the stickers on your bedroom wall, on your wooden headboard. plastic restaurant playground mazes, fishing out toys from greasy boxes. the feeling of chalk staining your fingers and gravel digging into your soft knees: chubby legs soon to be scarred.

and amidst the fog, you remember mark. the sporty, hyperactive kid who’d run across the school yard with a sweater wrapped around his neck like a cape, arms spread wide pretending he could fly.

you remember him.

vibrant, loving, quick witted.

it was glaringly obvious all the kids in your grade wanted to be friends with mark grayson. he had a posse: his very own group of 'superheroes', as the teachers used to call it. and before you learned to multiply, something inside you brewed like a poison. you wanted to be like him but you weren't, and so, your stubborn, little kid mind decided you didn't like him.

you hated him, actually. you hated the way he knew all the right answers in class. you hated his laugh. you hated how he was the fastest during sports. you hated how he was fun and smart and good at everything you weren't.

but dislike or not, that didn't stop your fixation. you continued to watch him from afar. and in your journals - to the best of your ability - you drew yourself striding across the playground with a sweater tied around your neck.

you kept to yourself. painfully shy and practically non-verbal: despite your daydreams of someday being a 'normal' kid like mark. your teachers held conferences with your parents about your struggles. despite the fog that blanketed the memories of your childhood: the feeling of dread settling deep in your tummy during the meetings is something that makes you wince to this day.

while you traced patterns into the table in front of you, they'd talk about you as if you weren't in the same room. your teacher did most of the talking. . and, like most of the time, your brain blocked out the sound of her droning voice. instead, your parent's voice was who you heard. and despite struggling to keep up with the onslaught of information, too, all your parent offered was a hushed, “I don't know what's wrong with them.”

you couldn't pay attention. you didn't talk to the other kids. you clung onto your teacher while in class. . and onto your parent during drop-off.

you were different.

intelligent.

but different.

the former a more pressing concern than the latter.

after countless tedious meetings, you soon associated being different with being singled out. being different meant spending an hour sitting in a boring office, listening to teachers repeat the same information - over and over and over again.

a mention about a doctor your parent(s) always refused.

regardless of the calming - sympathetic? - smile of your teacher, it always felt like you were in trouble. even if you couldn't quite put your finger on what you were doing wrong.

on the way home, your parent(s) would eye you through the rearview mirror. you pulled at the loose strings from your sweater and pretended not to notice.

the front door of your childhood home would creak open. your parent(s) would sit at the dinner table, silent, immobile, and - quiet as always - you'd go to your room until you were certain they were asleep to sneak either dinner or a midnight snack.

you were in trouble.

you just didn't know how to stop getting into it.

your teachers grew evermore desperate.

when suggestions of socializing would cause you to clam up: they decided to bite the bullet and break you in by force, hoping your behavior was caused by childhood timidity. one you’d soon outgrow instead of. . something else.

they’d grouped you with myriad of students in hopes you'd socialize or at least participate in something that wasn't independent school work. soon, your tears of frustration when you couldn't communicate correctly no longer held it's child-like charm. your teary, red eyed protests were ignored.

or met with indignation.

until finally - as a last ditch effort you assume - they sat you next to mark grayson.

you protested. not because he made you nervous - which he did - but because you wanted to dislike him. because being in the proximity of everything you wanted to be would be too much to bare. because mark would only make you look even weirder in comparison. but none of it mattered because as soon as the two of you met everything just. . fell into place.

much to your pleasure, he did most of the talking and didn't seem weirded out by your social skills - or lack thereof.

you found your tummy didn't hurt when he spoke to you and he didn't ask you something along the lines of why are you this way? why aren't you like the rest of us?

for the first time while in school, you were comfortable. the overwhelming pressure of having to perform was nonexistent in mark's company.

he'd ask you about your favorite cartoons and movies, and books, and “oh! do you read any comics?!”, and ranted on how unfair it was that the two of you would soon be forced to read books without pictures in them.

his excitement barely let you get a word in. his energy was contagious, all consuming, and the attention he gave you felt like the praise you'd hardly ever receive. you forgot all about your dumb vendetta, wondering why you had one in the first place. and you morphed into a mini version of him.

the two of you were attached by the hip by the end of the week. much to the dismay of your teachers, who you were sure began to rethink their decision when the two of you wouldn't behave in class.

and, perhaps, it was a mistake. they wouldn't want you to potentially stunt mark’s growth - what if it was contagious?

unbeknownst to you, your teachers did think about separating the two of you. but the risk of you reverting to your old ways and the possibility of invoking debbie grayson’s wrath must've been far too high for their liking.

ultimately, a unanimous decision was made to grit their teeth and bare it.

in the meantime, his posse reluctantly welcomed you in. mark even gave you your very own superhero name! and you tried your hardest to keep up with him. for his sake. for your own.

god knows you tried.

but you were never good at performing.

you weren't as fast or as agile as him. you couldn't jump high enough and your sound effects were nowhere near as good. and in an attempt to overcompensate, you overestimated yourself, took a leap you knew you couldn't make, and scraped your knee.

and like a true hero, mark was the first to come to your aid. he'd sat you down on the plastic playset of the playground while you sniveled - part due to embarrassment instead of the stinging, throbbing pain of a scraped knee. he'd dabbed at your injury with crumbled tissue and placed a colorful seance dog band-aid over your cut.

when you finished rubbing your eye with your tiny fist, you didn't see beading blood and irritated flesh, instead, you were met with big, dark brown eyes that glimmered as they stared into yours.

he was close enough to count his eyelashes.

“see?” he patted a chubby hand against your knee gently. “all better!”

and, yeah - heat spread across your cheeks with newfound emotion - it was all better. all evidence of injury, the throbbing pain and blood, was long gone save for the aid he’d given you.

he’d patched you up. he'd made you better. in more ways than one. and what remained was a fuzzy feeling inside your chest.

he’d grinned at you with missing front teeth.

and you found yourself grinning back.

CHAPTER 2

[hazelfoureyes]

The SafeWord is RadioApple (a tidbit epilogue to part 3)

@readergirlstuff

You rested your cheek on the bar, hangover in full effect but the cool wood was calming the headache.

“Sooo, who wears the pants in this triangle of horrors.” Angel leaned back against the bar, watching Lucifer and Alastor glare at each other from separate armchairs.

“Now that’s a dumb question.” Husk shook his head.

“Okay if it’s so obvious then you tell me.”

Husk put his hands up defensively, “Not stupid because it’s obvious, but because only an idiot would piss off the cruelest overlord and the king of hell with one sentence.”

“The king is always going to come out on top.” Luci smiled directly at Alastor.

“Funny, you spent your night on your back.” Alastor rose his newspaper to block out the view of Luci.

“Who am I to deny one of my people the chance to serve their majesty?”

Alastor cackled, wiping tears from his eyes, “Serve? You were literally begging for my-“

“YOU ASKED ME TO!” Horns fully grown, on his feet.

“You sounded like you meant it.” Alastor’s body grew to twice his size, antlers hitting the bar’s overhang as static cut in and out of his voice.

“Enough! Shh. Quiet.” You pulled a napkin over your head to block out the bright lights. “I need you both to shut the fuck up for like, 5 minutes.”

Both men stilled, returning to their seats. Lucifer scrolled on his phone, sheepish. Alastor returned to his paper.

Angel tapped the bar, “Not so obvious, was it, whiskers.”

“Damn.” Husk shook his head.

“Kiss kiss love you sorry,” you offered, a pang of guilt for being so rude to them. Especially in front of others. You knew you’d have to make amends later.

Lucifer perked up, eyes wide and shining, “did you say-?”

Alastor’s smile nearly dropped, an unseen audience awwing over the radio static as he accidentally ripped the newspaper in half, “what was that now?”

Fuck.

A little tidbit of:

⟢Lucifer x Reader x Alastor - The Safeword is RadioApple smut💦

Alastor would give you anything, all you had to do was ask. When you asked for Lucifer, he delivered. But after seeing just how much you enjoyed Alastor’s rough handling, Lucifer takes a turn and gets a little lost in the pleasure.

Part 1 ꒰აMaleReader✧FemaleReader໒꒱ Part 2 ꒰აFemaleReader໒꒱ Part 3 ꒰აAlastorxLucifer໒꒱ tidbit (cute, not smut) Part 4 ꒰აFemaleReader໒꒱✨NEW✨ ₊⊹⁀➴ Lucifer wins⟡Alastor Wins

3/30 Just realized I didn’t tag the cult and this will be referenced in the next part soooo

∰ Summoning the Horny Little Deer Cult (general tag list):

@cxrsedwxrlds , @nonetheartist , @tsunaki , @janchei , @wettiny-in-smutland , @moonmark98 , @hoebihoeshi , @pansexual-opera-house , @polytheatrix , @lorddiabigmommymilkers , @backinthefkingbuildingagain , @harley2223-blog , @coffee-colored-hopeless-romantic , @poinappel , @midnightnoiserose , @spookieroz , @missmidorima , @ivebeenthearchersstuff , @downbadforfictionalppl , @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx , @sleepylittledemon , @aether-th3-enby , @dontfuckbutimfab , @breathlessaura , @aperfectidiot , @certainlygay , @jth12 , @star-kujo-platinum ,

@ivebeenthearchersstuffn, @rubyninja1 , @simphornies , @alleystore , @readergirlstuff , @berry-demon , @chirimeimei , @fairyv-ice , @olive-frog , @thonethatflies620 , @tiredkiwiii , @ilikemyteawithmilk , @whateverlololo , @psipies , @howabouticallyou , @roxxie-wolf , @ive-no-idea-what-to-call-this , @fizzled-phoenix , @fjorjestertealeaf , @phobophobular , @surusurusuru , @mariaclarade-la-cruz1 , @whateverlololo , @simplyonehellofanotaku , @xixflower , @i-am-nonbinary-bean-deal-with-it , @roxxie-wolf , @a-case-of-attachment , @multifandomfanatic02 , @watereddownmilk , @raynerrold , @crazii-saber-wolf , @valkyrie-expeditions , @bontensbabygirl , @sillyb0nez , @oo0lady-mad0oo , @jazzmasternot , @pseudobun , @fraugwinska✨, @alitaar , @straows , @alastorssimp , @angelicwillows

🏹Alastor stalkers: @celestial-vomit , @amurtan ,@valkyrie-expeditions

[eff4freddie]

After She Left | Fourteen

Words: 5.3k

Joel and Tommy search the town for Ellie just as you are facing down the clickers that threaten you and her both. With Shauna having taken off with your rifle you watch in horror as Ellie screams for their attention.

Chapter warnings: Canon-typical violence, Shauna gets her own warning, weapons, a pretty solid attempt at gaslighting.

A/N: Sorry it took me a hot minute to update, but an old injury is playing up a little and I needed to rest my wrist. But nevermind that, penultimate chapter here we goooooo.....Will Ellie and Teach's lives hanging in the balance finally give Joel the kick up the bum he deserves? Will Shauna get what's coming to her? Let me know what you think in the comments, I'm very keen to see what you make of this one! THANK YOU xx

Thirteen | Series Masterlist | Fifteen

Walking beside his horse, Joel pulled on the reins only gently. He could feel that the horse was with him, didn’t intend on bolting now that they were in the town proper. Having doubled back to pick up the horses, they had turned and come back around to the main street, trying to find a house close enough that they could monitor movement without being seen.

It was growing steadily darker. Joel could feel the stone shifting heavy in his belly as the dusk slid over the mountain to his left. He couldn’t figure why it had been so quiet. It set his teeth on edge.

‘You should head back,’ he said to Tommy, ignoring the way his little brother shook his head. ‘Head on back to Robin and Maria. You got a family.’

‘So do you, Joel…’ he said, and Joel felt the little trickle of fear dripping along his ribcage. He had been trying not to think about it, of you and Ellie, out here in the cold.

‘Can’t risk anything happenin’ to ya. For your wife, for your kid…’ he said, and Tommy stopped short, pulling his horse up beside Joel and making him stop alongside. Joel stumbled a little, the soft ground slippery under foot.

‘You imagine it was me,’ Tommy spat out. ‘It was me out here trying to chase down Maria, trying to chase down Robin. You reckon you’d leave me out here on my own?’

Joel considered it for a moment. He would break Tommy’s legs if his younger brother tried to stop him riding by his side.

Tommy watched the realisation dawn over Joel’s face. ‘We can keep goin’ at first light,’ Tommy said, and Joel nodded.

‘It just doesn’t feel right…’ Joel said, and Tommy was about to protest before he cut him off. ‘Here, I mean. Something’s not right…here…’

Both men looked back to the butcher, almost expecting the self-sacrificed corpse to appear in the window, watching them pass.

Every time he stopped, the hooves of the horse settling into the mud, he could swear he could hear whispers on the wind. He couldn’t decide if they were real, if they were just his panic finally leaking out of his brain and seeping into the air around him. If he was hearing the ghosts, the decades of bodies lost to the fungus, lost to themselves.

‘Reckon we can hole up in one of these houses…’ Tommy was saying, but something was catching Joel’s attention, something shifting out of the corner of his eye.

‘Tommy?’ he asked, squinting to see several blocks down the main street, to where he could have sworn he saw movement. ‘You see anything? Up there…on the corner?’

He felt his brother still behind him. For a moment both men held their breaths.

Just at the end of the street, far enough that you could miss it if you weren’t paying close attention, something jerked. Swivelled. Shuffled a few steps back.

‘Jesus…’ Tommy muttered, dropping his voice under the wind. ‘Just out in the open like that…’

‘Means there’s likely no-one left,’ Joel whispered. ‘No-one out here left for them to pounce on.’

He gripped the reins in his hand harder. If he had turned his head, he would have seen his knuckles almost entirely white.

‘We gotta…’ Tommy started, but Joel was already pulling his rifle in front of him, was already inching forward. He didn’t even notice he was pulling is horse along with him too, so transfixed on the sight of the clicker two blocks up the street.

‘Stay back,’ he whispered, over his shoulder. Tommy faltered before stepping forward, his older brother shooting him a disapproving glare. If he hadn’t been so terrified, Tommy would have grinned at him.

Joel’s eyes started to stream from holding them wide open in the cold air. As they inched closer they watched as the clicker swivelled, reacting to something around the corner, cocking its head to the side to angle the bloom obliterating its eye towards the sound. It didn’t seem to have clocked them yet, approaching quietly from behind, but Joel still found himself having to remind himself to breathe.

Half a block forward another clicker emerged from across the street, wobbling its way towards the corner. This one was moving quicker, the blooms emerging from its skull smaller, less formed. It was possible that it still had some vision underneath, that it still had the benefit of both its senses, and that was why it was moving with slightly more purpose than its counterpart.

Joel felt his heart racing in his chest, wanting to stop to steady himself, feeling the urgent pull to push forward. Two clickers were as good as an army if you were a teenager out here on your own. He wasn’t sure if Ellie had taken any weapons with her, could only pray she’d had the presence of mind to take something other than her measly little flick knife. He could feel the bile rising in his throat and longed, ached, to clear it. He swallowed down the burn instead, felt the back of his tongue too thick and too dry in his mouth.

For the first time, Joel realised he was pulling a horse beside him. He cursed under his breath, hearing the thump of its hooves as it made its way through the muddy street. He looked around for a place to hitch it, hoping neither would spook if they had to shoot. Keeping an eye on the scene in front of him he studied the buildings to his left, to his right. The town wasn’t so old that it had hitching posts, and he wondered if he could tether his horse to a twenty-year old decaying parking meter instead.

And just as his gaze travelled the gutters of the shop fronts in front of him, as he lets his eyes traverse the lampposts, the rusted trash cans, something moved just up out of his eyeline. In a moment that would play on loop in his nightmares, he watched as Ellie’s head appeared from the roof of the doctor’s office, a rifle held awkward in her arms.

Joel stopped, panic gripping his throat. If she made even a single sound they would be on her, both of them able to corner her, trap her where she stood. He knew immediately that she had tried to seek higher ground, had followed his instructions as best she could, and he couldn’t be mad at her for that. But she hadn’t considered exit points. She’d been too eager or too scared, and he hoped it was the former, to properly plan. He wanted to scream, wanted to howl, wanted to sink his bare hands into the neck of that clicker and rip the bloom from its flesh as it dared to threaten his little girl.

This was intolerable. He felt the impotent terror grip him, the same that took him by the sternum the night a solider pointed his gun at his daughter and her twisted ankle, supposed to be kept safe in his arms.

He saw Ellie take aim. For a second the world stopped, the shuddering echo of the globe falling off its axis so clear that he was surprised he wasn’t knocked off his feet where he stood.

He’d stood still, waiting patiently for the soldier to collect himself before he shot and murdered his daughter. Had behaved, had obeyed, and had his whole universe ripped out from under him for it. Had let the panic grip his legs, tie his ankles and his tongue. He had stumbled, fucking dropped her in the dirt like a ragdoll, had ignored her pleas for comfort and let her slip away while he pointlessly fought it, let her last moments be his tear-stained, desperate face. Let his last words to her be lies. That he could save her, when even she could see that he couldn’t. That he could get her up, when she wanted only for his arms to hold her close.

Of all the times he had failed that night and since, that was the worst of it. That in her final moment he wasn’t with her, not really, railing instead against the inevitable pull of her death. He let her go scared. He let her go hurtin’. He let her go while he looked away.

Not again. Not now that he was moving, swinging up onto the back of the horse and counting on the sound of the hooves pounding the wet ground to draw the clickers to him, give him enough time to fire before they trapped Ellie. Joel was dimly aware that Tommy was behind him, riding up along his right side, as their two horses crossed the first block in what felt like moments. Joel rode with his eyes on Ellie, his rifle in his hands. He could shoot the first one, launch himself at the second. Distract it, give her enough time to get to Tommy, for him to pull her away.

He watched as she turned at the sound of them, watched the relief bloom on her face. She pointed, frantic, to something around the corner as Joel kicked his horse into a gallop, swearing an apology to it under his breath if it could just close out the last of the distance in time.

The clicker nearest to him was turning, its bloom angling towards the sound of his horse. He glared into its unseeing eyes. He wouldn’t look away this time.

‘HEY YOU FUCKERS, COME AND GET ME!’ Ellie screamed above him and Joel gasped, his heart in his throat as the clicker turned to her, immediately starting to lurch towards the clinic. But Joel was on it, aiming his rifle as he gripped the horse with his knees, slowing up enough to steady a shot that clipped the clicker on the shoulder and pivoted it, spinning it around to howl at him as he stared it down.

--

For a moment, all you could hear was the thundering of your heart in your chest, the sound so loud it obliterated any thought, any possible rational explanation. You swallowed, your head turning to Ellie where she stood on the roof of the clinic, her back turned to you now and her arms waving over her head.

You couldn’t feel your body, could barely account for the noises you made as you opened your throat and howled, screaming to try and win back Wren’s attention. You watched, horrified, as Wren pivoted, lurching at full speed towards the corner right underneath where Ellie stood. He was going to climb up the old rickety porch, was going to clamber up over rotted wood and peeling paint and rip her from her perch, tear her limb from limb as you stood, rooted to the ground in horror, the last part of the world to make it worth living in torn from you, like everything else.

‘No, no, no! Me, you fucker!’ you screamed after him, but there was other noise now, something that was getting his attention. Everything was happening all at once, the noise and the colour and the thumping of your heart in your ears so loud that it was impossible to think, your throat raw as your legs seized up underneath you, as you found yourself rooted to the spot, screaming and howling for Wren to come back to you, still desperate to give Ellie her time.

You had been trained to look. All that time on gate duty in the QZ, all that time on the wall in Jackson, your eyes trained on the perimeter, waiting for danger, trained to alert. Your eyes your greatest weapon, your wits your biggest shield. That was how you served your community, how you protected all that you still had to hold dear.

And all that time you had felt like you weren’t doing enough. That safely ensconced behind steel and concrete you were somehow safe, knowing that the real work was out beyond the wall. The real danger lurking well beneath your feet, you had always considered yourself a coward for never being amongst it, for never getting your hands dirty like you should have. Now, though, in this moment, you realised for the first time the quiet bravery in looking. In witnessing the terrors, even if you all you could do was stand between them and oblivion.

Because now. In your fury and your sadness and your horror, you did the only thing you could think of. You closed your eyes.

--

Joel was on the first clicker in moments, the horse barrelling into it with enough speed, with enough force, that it was knocked off its feet and under the hooves. Joel heard the crunch of the decaying fungus meeting metal horseshoe, knew instantly it was crushed without even having to look. That only left the smaller one, the one he saw now running from the middle of the street for the clinic.

He pulled his horse back, readying another shot, when he heard it. The voice he would recognise in an instant, the melodic tone now drenched in terror, in fury, in regret.

He turned his head, saw for the first time that you were stood in the middle of the street, saw from the tracks in the mud that the second clicker had been barrelling towards you before it doubled back.

‘No, no!’ you were howling, almost doubled over, your eyes shut tight like you didn’t want to see. ‘Not her, not her…’

He swivelled his head to Ellie, her eyes wild and on him even as she was climbing up higher, swinging herself up on loose roof shingles to get a better shot, and he knew, then that she had saved you, that she had called them off you knowing he would arrive, just in the moment that you had been trying to save his girl. 

‘Get her!’ Ellie screamed, but Joel was already turning his horse to you.

‘Tommy!’ he yelled over his shoulder, and his brother was right behind him, his rifle on his shoulder and his eye squinting into the sights as the second clicker paused a moment to survey the scene.

‘Got it,’ Tommy grunted but Joel was already on his way to you, already leaning over in the saddle, a hand reaching out to your trembling form.

--

The thudding of your heart grew louder, closer, enough to make you cower, to squeeze your eyes tight. You were dimly aware that you were moaning, pleading, for Ellie. Hoping that despite everything you could still call Wren to you, that he would choose you, instead.

You lifted your hands to your ears. The sound of your pounding heart grew only louder and you gasped at the sheer volume of it, listened as it raced up beside you even as you groaned to block it out. You thought of Rose on the day she died, of your parents and all the different ways you imagined they passed. You thought of Joel, knew that this would break him. Wept for him and the loss he was about to suffer, that had you so feeble you couldn’t bring yourself to even see, let alone stop.

And then you were lifting, momentum knocking you off your feet as you felt a strong grip around your torso, squeezing the air from you, forcing it out of your chest in a gasp. Your body being pulled in warm and hard, an arm wrapped tight around you as you were tucked, neat, into a thundering chest. Beneath you, the galloping of a horse you now realised had been the thudding you’d been hearing, that it had not in fact been your heart beating wild in your chest. You opened your mouth, flannel and warm skin between your teeth.

‘I got ya, baby, I got ya,’ Joel said above you, pressing you harder into his body as you whimpered, cold fingers reaching out to claw at his shirt. ‘I know, I know…’ he said again, his voice straining as the horse carried you both. ‘You’re OK. Ellie’s OK. Stay with me, baby,’ he muttered into the crown of your aching head.

--

You stayed, shivering and silent, tucked into his chest. He could feel the heat of your tears on his neck as he held you to him, his other hand on the reins as he watched Tommy stand guard at the base of the clinic, Ellie climbing gingerly down a drainpipe that didn’t have any business still being upright but nevertheless held her weight long enough for her to get down.

He cooed to you, told you everything he was seeing, commentating for you as you kept your eyes shut tight, your face tucked away under his jaw.

‘She’s down, baby, she’s on the ground,’ he whispered to you, his lips still pressed to your temple. Every once and a while he stopped to press a kiss there, the warmth of your skin on his lips reminding him you were alive. He felt the ache in his chest abate, just enough that he could finally breathe. He blinked away tears, willing away the tremors in his hands.

‘Tommy’s pulling her onto his horse now,’ he informed you as you sniffled. ‘They’re coming this way. Look, baby, look…’

He held you tight around the middle as he pulled your face from his neck, turned you to observe them on their way to you. Sat side-saddle as you were, your legs pressed to the side of the horse’s flank, it took you a second to wriggle free of him, nearly slipping from his grip as he lowered you, as you landed softly on unsteady feet. You were sobbing, them, running to Ellie as she slipped down from behind Tommy and let you pull her into you, let you collapse into her, the weight of your combined relief the only thing to keep you both up and out of the mud.

Joel felt the tickle of a tear tracking its way down his cheek and he brushed it away, his mouth turning down to try and beat back the sob that threatened to rip out of him. He caught Tommy’s eye, who was watching the both of you with a watery grin.  

‘Thank you…’ Joel whispered to his brother, who shrugged.

‘You woulda done the same for me,’ he replied, and Joel nodded. ‘But we gotta get out of here, there could be more of ‘em…’

Joel nodded, recognising that now the darkness had set in you were more exposed than ever, that the cold was starting to bite.

‘A house, and then we ride back to Jackson in the morning,’ Joel agreed. You pulled your head up, your eyes finally open to him, as you gripped Ellie.

‘Wait, Shauna’s out there still,’ you said.

‘Fuck her,’ Ellie grunted, wiping away her own tears. ‘She sent me out there, told me some bullshit…’

‘I know,’ you cut her off, glancing at Joel as though you thought if he heard any more, he would thoroughly lose his shit. He suspected you were right. ‘I know, she lied to you about this place.’

‘She took the rifle, and she ran! She saw Wren coming for you and she ran!’

Joel felt the burning cold of a knife slicing clear through his gut. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Tommy turn to him, worry on his face.

‘Brother…’ he said, but Joel ignored him. He cleared his throat, ready to pronounce Shauna as good as dead.

‘She will have headed back to the horses,’ you said, gesturing over Joel’s shoulder. ‘We can’t leave her out here, she’ll hurt herself.’

Or someone else, Joel thought.

Tommy shifted, uncomfortably, in his saddle. ‘We could use the horses to get back,’ he said. ‘If she rides one, they can share the other.’

‘Knowing her she’ll take one and let the other go just to be extra fucking annoying,’ Ellie muttered, and you let out a little gasping giggle, the adrenaline suddenly making everything hilarious in an -end-of-the-world kind of way.

‘We tied them to the trees just off the road leading west,’ you gestured broadly. ‘I can take us back.’

‘No,’ Joel muttered, steadfast. ‘No, you two are gettin’ inside, gettin’ warm. I’ll go and get her, I’ll bring her back.’

‘Joel…’ Tommy started to protest, but Joel wasn’t having any of it, swinging himself off the horse and gesturing for you to get on top of it.

‘You look like shit,’ Ellie supplied, helpfully. ‘You sure you wanna be out there in the dark old man?’

Joel rolled his eyes, not letting on that he would take her sass for the rest of his life if it meant she was still living hers.

‘Up,’ he gestured to Ellie, as Tommy reached down and pulled her back up and behind him. ‘You…’ Joel said as he walked towards you, his mouth set in a frown but his eyes warm, betraying him. ‘You get safe, you’ve done enough for us today.’

‘I can come with you…’ you said, but he was pulling you to him again, easily overpowering you as you realised you were actually pretty cold, and that your body was starting to ache. ‘I can show you where she’ll be.’

‘No, baby, I’ll find it. Town ain’t big,’ he said, as he walked you over to his horse.

‘Joel…’ you whispered, but you weren’t sure what you wanted, weren’t sure what you would say other than to beg him to keep his arms around you, to let you rest on his chest.

‘Go on,’ he said, pushing you to slip your foot into the stirrup, hoisting you up into the saddle. He had so much to say to you, more than he had the words for, but it would have to wait.

‘We’ll be in that one,’ Tommy gestured to a house on the corner. The windows were dark, but Joel could see it didn’t look like it was going to fall over. Not tonight, at least. ‘I’ll take first watch, until you make it back,’ Tommy said.

Joel nodded at him as he watched you steady yourself in the saddle. He ran his hands down the horse’s neck, felt the muscles pulling hard and tight under its hide.

He stood back, watching carefully as his brother led his girls to safety, to some kind of warmth. He didn’t move until he saw the three of you disappear into the confines of the house, the horses stowed out of sight in the garage.

He’d been so preoccupied with his loss of Sarah that he’d almost lost everything all over again. He held the feeling of you in his arms close, tried to imprint it on his memory in case you recovered, came to your senses, rightfully never wanted to be near him again.

He cleared his throat, turning his gaze to the stars that seemed so bright now, so many of them up over head without the streetlights to blot them all out. He felt like he was seeing clearly for the first time. He would get to setting things right. Promised himself and the stars.

He swung his rifle around to grip it hard and cold in his hands, heading out on the road leading off to the west.

--

It wasn’t that he was trying to sneak up on her, even though he knew his feet were quiet now that he had come off the pavement and onto soft earth. It wasn’t that he wanted to scare her, although he thought about it. It was just that she wasn’t very observant, that a marching band and a full-scale parade could sneak up on her when she was so preoccupied with her own, and only her own, survival.

‘Come the fuck on, for fucks sake,’ she was muttering as she tried to loosen the knot tethering the horse to the tree. The other had backed away from her, was pushing at the ground each time she tried to get close. Joel reckoned it was a good judge of character.

‘Shauna,’ he said, and she jumped nearly three feet in the air, swivelling around to him and fixing him with a hollowed-out, terrified stare.

‘Joel!’ she gasped, dropping the reins and nearly running at him, collapsing into his chest where he held her loose, let her gasp and paw at him as he waited, his face grim, for her to collect herself. When she eventually realised he wasn’t holding her back, wasn’t tearfully thanking the Gods for reuniting them, she stopped, pulling herself back upright.

‘Are you OK?’ she asked, checking him over.

‘M’fine. Ellie’s fine, too. And Teach.’

Shauna nodded, but Joel could see no real relief there. In his mind he saw you, cowering in the street, your eyes shut tight, groaning for the clicker to turn on you instead. He swallowed, hard, blinked it away to stay focussed.

‘How did it come to be that they were one rifle down facing two clickers, Shauna?’ he asked, and she stilled. He could see the weapon leaning against the tree. It appeared to be in pristine condition. ‘How was it that my girl was up on the roof and Teach was in the middle of the street, unarmed with a clicker barrelling down at her, and you were…nowhere?’

Joel watched the cogs turn in Shauna’s head, could see her calculating. He held his hand up to her. ‘Don’t. Just tell me,’ he said, the adrenaline starting to give way, the fatigue and the cold settling into his bones.

‘There wasn’t anything I could do,’ Shauna said, her voice quiet but steady. She sniffled, gathering herself.

‘You left them to die,’ he said, simply.

‘I left them so that I could come and find you,’ she argued, and he shook his head.

‘Nah,’ he said. ‘You took the rifle, and you were damn near about to take one of the horses ‘cept Teach is too good at knots.’

She opened her mouth to protest, before she looked properly at his face in the moonlight. She could see the rolling tic of his jaw as he tremored slightly. She recalculated, settling in the end for truth.

‘I’m a survivor, Joel,’ she said, after a while.

He scoffed, feeling acid across his throat. ‘No, Shauna, you’re a fuckin’ leech. You take. You took the rifle, you were gonna take the horse. You damn near took the house out from under my girl and pushed her into the garage. You took Teach, her friend. You took my…’

‘Your what, Joel? What is she to you?’ Shauna hissed, actual fury on her face, but Joel wasn’t too vain to assume this was jealousy. Competition, maybe, but not borne out of actual want for him. In the face of it he felt a calm fall over his shoulders. He almost smiled. Shauna just didn’t like to lose.

‘And Sarah,’ he went on, ignoring the question. He watched as Shauna at least had the decency to let a look of remorse pass over her face. ‘You took her mother, you took her Christmas mornings, you took her Friday pizza and VHS nights. You took her little heart and you fuckin’ broke it, Shauna.’

He saw, even in the low light, that her eyes were shimmering a little. He ignored it. He went on. ‘I’ve been such a fool. All this time you’ve been in Jackson all acid and corrosion, all this time I let you.’ He looked again to the stars, watched them twinkle as he blinked away his tears. ‘That’s what gets me the most. All this time I let you.’

‘Oh, fuck you, Joel,’ Shauna said, trying anger to see if it could make him relent. ‘You needed someone to protect, just the same as when we were 22. You loved it when I come on all sad and weepy. Made you feel like a strong fucking man.’

‘That may be true, Shauna, but what’s it say about you that you decided to use it against me like ya did,’ he said, even. Calm.

He stepped around her, reaching for the rifle and she stumbled away from him, her hands in the air. ‘Hey, hey, wait…’ she said, but he was snapping the rifle open, clearing the bullets all except for one.

‘Sarah used to comfort me, when I was missin’ ya,’ he said, letting the metal land 1, 2, 3 in the palm of his hand. ‘Sarah used to say to me, “you gotta forgive her, Daddy, she was sad. She wanted what was best for us.” That girl knew, even then, Shauna, that what was best for us was for you not to be around.’

He slipped the bullets into his pocket, snapping the barrel back in place. One bullet still loaded.

‘But Sarahs’ gone, and you nearly took my girls tonight, Shauna, and I ain’t ever gonna forgive you for it.’

He turned his back to her, fixing the rifle to the saddle. He felt the certainty of what was going to happen next, down in the marrow of his bones. He wouldn’t pause, wouldn’t flinch.

‘You ain’t comin’ back,’ he stated. ‘Jackson ain’t safe with you in it.’ He stepped towards the horse, pulling on the left rein so that the simple bowline knot he knew you had tied for her shook loose. He handed her the reins.

‘You’re leaving me with one bullet and a horse?’ Shauna deadpanned, arching her brows at him. ‘Isn’t that a little…cliché?’

‘Don’t care what it is, it’s what you’re gettin’.’ Joel replied. He wanted to head back to the house, to wrap you and Ellie up in whatever blankets he could find, put her down safe on a twenty-year old couch so he could plant his lips on yours and not let up until dawn.

‘Tell me one thing…that Steven and Wren stuff, were they ever going to blow up the mess hall?’ He watched as her face shifted, trying to work out the most advantageous answer. He nodded. If he’d been honest with himself at the time things might have been different, he reasoned. Added it to the list of things he’d have to find a way to set right.

‘Joel, we could run that place…’ Shauna tried.

‘No, Shauna,’ he said. Reaching forward to grab her by the arm and pulling her, nowhere near as gently as he had you, to loop her foot into the stirrup. ‘You could never run that place, cuz there’s no way on this dead fuckin’ planet I would ever let ya.’

‘Joel…’ she said, and she looked down at him now, genuine fear in her eyes now that she had realised how serious he was, that he was actually doing it. ‘I don’t know where to go.’

‘You come within strikin’ distance of Jackson I’ll tell Billy to shoot ya on sight. Other than that, I don’t give a shit.’

She stared at him, her hands still shaking as he looked, impassive up at her.

‘You can’t…’

‘You’re a survivor, Shauna,’ Joel interrupted, parroting her. He reached out and slapped the horse once on the flank, enjoying it just a little as it whinnied and took off at a canter.

He wasn’t sure what he had expected to feel. Maybe angry, maybe a little vindicated. For one second he’d imagined himself getting down on his knees and kissing the ground beneath his feet. He didn’t expect to feel nothing, to feel a gentle kind of relief.

He watched as she disappeared into the darkness, waited until he couldn’t hear her gasping breaths. Turning back to the town he felt the warmth of you, washing up against his insides, even before he had you in his arms.

He knew it was a long path, but he would happily walk it. If you’d have him, he would come home to his girls.  

Taglist:

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[beomiracles]

txt as love languages

pairing: ot5xafab!reader warnings: not really any warnings this is just cute, got the idea when I was watching a gore horror movie xx

YEONJUN (연준) - physical touch

♡ yeonjun who always sticks to your side like glue, a part of him is always touching a part of you

♡ wether it be holding hands under the table, legs touching when you sit next to each other, his head on your shoulder or him playing with the strands of your hair with your head resting on his lap

♡ yeonjun feels the closest to you when he physically is close to you, warm bodies next to each other, skin touching, hearing your heart beat makes his flutter

♡ drags out hugs making them go on for minutes at the time. when you try to pull away he only pulls you closer. "yeonjunnnnn" you whine against him trying to wiggle yourself out of his strong grip, "you're gonna be late if you don't leave soon" he doesnt answer and nuzzles his face in the crook of your neck.

♡ will make silly excuses just to have you touch him, "I think I'm running a fever, you should check my temperature" you sigh and tell him that you did ten minutes ago "well maybe something changed in those ten minutes" he presses and sits in front of you with his eyes closed. he beams as you place the palm of your hand against his forehead "you'll live," you say. he pouts and offers his cheek to you, you shake your head "no kisses when you're sick do you want to infect me too?" you say. yeonjun crosses his arms and sighs dramatically making you giggle

SOOBIN (수빈) - giving/receiving gifts

♡ while soobin is a very shy person expressing his love for you through words makes him very flustered, he prefers showing his love through small and thoughtful gifts

♡ taking time to bake your favourite cookies, pouring all his love into the sweet treats, wrapping them up in a small box with a note attached, something along the lines of "thought you'd need a little extra energy today" or "don't eat them all before dinner" would often be written

♡ if he was to ever give you them in person he would be extremely shy, ears turning bright pink as he shyly hands you the basket of sweets, when you kiss his cheek and thank him his heart will start malfunctioning and he'll mumble out a quiet "'s nothing.."

♡ soobin always knows exactly what you want, even if you've never told him. waking up one morning to an empty bed, soobin has already left for work, you sigh, rubbing your eyes as you sit up you notice a small blue box on the bedside table. you open it to find all your favourite sweets, chocolates, gummy bears and caramelised almonds. there was also a small pack of painkillers along with some pads. a small note was tucked to the side and you picked it up to read. "I noticed you were on your period yesterday, I know how much you like sweet things during this time, hope you won't need the painkillers. - love soob" you giggled to yourself as you took a piece of chocolate, your boyfriend really was the best.

BEOMGYU (범규) - words of affirmation

♡ even though he hides it behind sarcastic comments and jokes fit for a twelve year old beomgyu is blunt with his love for you and will tell it to your face

♡ sometimes it's hard to catch it but it's definitely there, "you're lucky I love you" he says in a snarky voice as he admires the the pink bow you neatly tied to his hair.

♡ or "you look like a walking potato in that" he says when you walk out wearing his hoodie. when he sees the frown on your face he adds "I guess it's okay since you're my walking potato...and a cute one at that."

♡ sometimes he's really upfront catching you off guard, "you're so weird, who even reads books these days.." he says "I love you to bits though", he walks off to the bathroom closing the door behind him leaving you frozen on the couch, book long forgotten about.

♡ often says "I love you" in a super exaggerated voice or in a sarcastic tone but you know that he means it more than anything

♡ will pester you to say it back if you don't "whyyyy don't you luvvv me?" he hugs you even tighter, arms wrapping around your waist as he rests his head on your shoulder. "what does a man gotta do to get loved these days..." he sighs loudly like a balloon loosing all its air you roll your eyes at his dramatics "I love you more Beomie", you can almost hear the grin eating away at his face when he replies "yea but who doesn't" aaaand he's back

TAEHYUN (태현) - acts of service

♡ taehyun is not very big on words, that doesn't mean he doesn't tell you he loves or appreciates you though, he much rather prefers to show it in other ways.

♡ he will always step up to help with anything you might need. lightbulbs broken? he's on it. you're out of milk, don't worry a ten minute run to the grocery store and back and you're stocked up on milk for a week.

♡ he likes doing things for you but also with you. you're in the middle of putting together a new chair you bought for your makeup desk, it's a lengthy process but you've got things under control. you feel a hand on your back before someone sits down on the floor next to you. taehyun picks up the instruction manual and starts scanning it with his eyes. you assure him that he doesn't need to help and that you'll manage just fine on your own. "it's nothing" he says as he picks up a piece and starts putting it together. you work in silence, breaking it only to ask for things such as, "screwdriver?", "here" he says as he hands it to you. it turns out just as good as it would've if you'd done it on your own but something about doing it together made it special.

♡ will also do things he has no clue how to do. you walk in to your shared bathroom to find your boyfriend sitting on the floor with a frown on his face. "what on earth are you doing..." you begin but trail off as you notice the dismembered parts of your hair straightener on the floor. taehyun scratches the back of his head eyes not leaving the hair straightener as he speaks "you mentioned it being broken...I tried to fix it.." he says as his frown deepens, "might've made it worse" he admits, his cheeks turning a light pink. you smile, "eh let's just get a new one"

HUENINGKAI (휴닝카이) - quality time

♡ huening who loves spending time with you, it doesn't matter where you are, what you do or even what time it is, things like that are nothing when he's with you

♡ whatever you suggest you guys do he's down. cinemas? yes! he gets to sit next to you, putting his arm around your shoulders, having you hide your face on his chest at a scary part, sharing a popcorn and a drink. going to the beach? absolutely! swimming together, feeding each other watermelon and sunbathing next to each other. going for a walk? always! holding your hand, talking about nothing and everything, stopping to pick up a flower for you while saying something cheesy like "this flower can't even make up to half your beauty" smiling as he draws a giggle from you.

♡ always wants to be with you. you're reading a book, perfect, he lays his head on your lap as you read silently, occasionally flipping a page. words aren't needed, your presence makes up for anything and everything.

♡ he always finds time for you even on his busiest days. phone in your hand you debatably look at the time, 11.38 pm. you chew on your bottom lip as you consider texting him, he's had a long day it would be too much to ask to see him right now wouldn't it? you guys could always meet up the next weekend. letting your selfishness win you finally text him. not even fifteen minutes later there's a knock at your door. you rush to open to find your boyfriend with the biggest smile on his face and a flower bouquet in his hand. "i.. what, when did you have the time to get this-" you ask but he cuts you off with a quick peck to your lips. "for you there's always time" he says.

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[moonselune]

hey hi! this one might be a bit too dark, but could you do one for the bg3 girlies where tav dies because of them? because of a decision they made for the party that backfired or something along those lines? xx

Ooo so sad, I only wrote teeny weeny drabbles for it but I hope you like it !

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Karlach

Karlach’s eyes widened in horror as she saw your lifeless body on the battlefield. She had urged you forward, her confidence in your abilities unwavering. The realization struck her like a warhammer: you were dead because she had pushed you too hard.

“I told you to move forward… I thought you’d be fine,” she whispered, her voice breaking. Guilt clawed at her heart, and tears streamed down her face as she knelt beside you, cradling your head in her arms. “I’m so sorry, love. I never meant for this to happen. I'm sorry..”

The fire that usually burned so brightly within her seemed to dim as she wept, mourning the loss of the one person she truly loved. There were no flames, no fire, nothing left within her.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Minthara

Minthara stood frozen, her usual confidence shattered as she gazed at your lifeless form. She had told you not to worry about the male drow assassin, convinced that he was of no threat, dirt beneath your boots. But now, here you were, an dead testament to her misjudgment.

“I told you not to worry,” she murmured, her voice uncharacteristically soft and filled with regret. Her voice rising in a panic of unknown emotion.“I was wrong. I failed you.”

Her eyes, usually so cold and calculating, were now filled with a sorrow she had never felt before. She knelt beside you, her fingers gently brushing your cheek. “Forgive me, my love. I should have protected you.”

The fierce warrior who had always seemed invincible now felt the weight of her failure. She had lost you, and nothing in the world could ever make that right and the world would burn for it.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Lae’zel:

Lae’zel’s heart sank as she realized what she had done. In the heat of battle, her focus had been solely on the enemy, and she had accidentally caught you in her crossfire. The sight of your still body brought her to her knees, her weapon clattering to the ground.

“No… No.. this can’t be,” she whispered, her voice trembling. “I didn’t mean to…”

Tears streamed down her face as she crawled to your side, her hands shaking as she reached out to touch you. The proud githyanki warrior was now a broken woman, her grief and guilt overwhelming. You had died by her blade, her hand. “You were my heart, my strength. How could I have done this to you?”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Shadowheart

Shadowheart’s heart ached as she saw you fall, the dark power of Shar’s smite still crackling in the air. She had always known that serving Shar came with risks, but she had never imagined it would lead to this. You lay lifeless before her, a casualty of her devotion to the dark goddess.

“No… not you,” she whispered, her voice choked with emotion. “Shar, why?”

She knelt beside you, her hands trembling as she tried to heal you, but it was too late. The tears she had held back for so long finally spilled over, her grief and guilt consuming her. “I’m so sorry, my love. I never wanted this to happen.”

Shadowheart realized the true cost of her allegiance. She had lost you, and the pain of that loss would be far greater than any other pain Shar could inflict on her.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Jaheira

Jaheira’s heart broke as she saw you succumb to the shadowcurse. She had warned you about the dangers, but in the chaos of the fight, you had gotten caught in its grasp. She ran to you, her magic flaring as she tried to heal you, but the curse had already taken its toll.

“No, please,” she begged, her voice filled with desperation. “Stay with me, love.”

Tears streamed down her face as she held you close, her hands glowing with healing magic that could no longer help. “I’m so sorry. I should have protected you better.”

The grief and guilt overwhelmed her as she realized that she had lost you to the very thing she had fought against. She had failed you, and the weight of that failure would stay with her forever. She reluctantly pushed you away, realising that your transformation would cause you to turn on her. She couldn't kill you, not again.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Oof this was angsty, I couldn't help but add that last line for Jaheira, I was feeling especially cruel hehe - Seluney xox

[sweetcollywobbles]

my yandere!leon headcanons so far MDNI

hello! these are just a few headcanons i had about leon as a yandere and a person in general. there is nsfw below the cut, so MINORS AND AGELESS BIOS FUCK OFF ‼ also feel free to send me your thoughts on yandere!leon and your personal headcanons if you have any!!

xx

sfw

⟢ he's self-aware that what he's done to you is horrible. he knows you have every right to hate him, but that doesn't stop him from wishing you would love him back. he never meant to hurt or deceive you, but he's lost and given too much. leon wants someone to come home to, share a meal with, and feel needed and wanted. to receive a sliver of what he's given out. so forgive him if he's being selfish when it comes to you, but he deserves happiness too. so why not help him play house?

⟢ smells of bergamot and lavender. it’s nice and relaxing, but also musky and woodsy. he read somewhere that lavender calms the nerves, so he just absolutely lathers himself in the scent. Sometimes you swear he smells like sleep personified. unfortunately, he’s still a man, so he uses old spice lavender body wash. for cologne, he uses sauvage by dior. 

⟢ normalcy is hard. how can anyone go back into society as if the amount of  horrors you’ve seen, aren’t there? like you’re fine and everything is fine? so, leon has found a pretty good remedy, company. each friday, a sit down dinner with claire, chris, and jill. pizza, wings, and beer every sunday with chris watching whatever football game is on. sometimes they may not know the current standings of teams, but it’s fun to pretend that they do. yet friends can only fill the void so much, maybe with you, the world won’t feel so lonely. 

⟢ he has a major sweet tooth! likes his coffee with cream and sugar, won’t drink his coffee black unless he really needs it. leon will always have room for dessert lmao. has tried to bake, but he just doesn’t got it 💀something just always goes wrong. a big ice cream/frozen yogurt guy. once a month, leon will make a “everything under the kitchen sink” sundae. he’ll dump whatever pints of ice cream into a large bowl and top it off with whatever candy, syrup, and whip topping he has. leon is usually on a very strict diet, so why not splurge?

⟢ leon on his off time has taught himself how to smoke/grill meat. only knows how to make small side dishes to go with the meat that he’s made. mashed potatoes and grilled veggies are usually his two favorite go-to sides. 

⟢ i'm a firm believer that leon's receiving love languages are quality time and words of affirmation with a hint of acts of service. leon works a lot, whether at the office or away on another mission, this poor, tired man is always working. so when he's home be prepared to be attached at the hip. leon also has a lot of self-doubt and guilt about what he's done to you, so by telling him how much you love and appreciate him, it feeds his growing delusion that what he's done is necessary. you need him just as much as he needs you. it also adds to the reassurance when you do small things for him to show your love and appreciation, whether it’s real or not. like cleaning and folding his laundry, making him a cup of coffee in the morning, back rubs after a long day, or even packing his lunch for the day. 

i’m giggling at the thought of leon keeping all the small notes you add to his lunch, reading them when the day gets tough. or maybe he has one or two in a go-bag when he has to take small out-of-state trips for work. 

⟢ building off the one before, he won't admit it but he's clingy. he prefers showers, but will choose a bath if it means he gets a small intimate moment with you in the morning. not in a sexual sense, more in a “let’s bask in each other’s presence”. never sits across from you at a table or booth, always next to you. same thing for the couch. there could be a thousand pillows on the bed, but he always chooses yours. leon will also never lets you sleep facing any windows/doors for security reasons. there is no such thing as personal space with this man.

⟢ since leon is a yandere his reciprocating love language is all of them. he wants you to stay with him, so he is willing to drown you in his love until it's the only thing you'll ever know. i'm going to break this down a little in sections.  

⟡ leon isn't the best when it comes to choosing the words that relay how he feels. the words feel wrong and it leaves him awkward. so any sort of verbal praise from him is rare. the most you would get from him is a thumbs up and a "sure" or a pat on the back with a nod.

(😀👍🏻 <— leon fr) but, put a piece of paper infront of this man and all of a sudden he's writing words that’ll make shakespear blush. it's words so sickly sweet it gives you a toothache. leon really hates himself for not being able to verbal relay this to you, but maybe you can feel what he wants to say?

⟡ leon is just really good at showing you how he feels than telling you. I KNOW THIS MAN WOULD GIVE THE BEST HUGS BECAUSE HE SO DESPERATELY NEEDS ONE. just imagining leon giving you a bear hug, fully enveloping you, and he can't help but hold you a little closer. maybe even holds your head a little more to him. his eyes are closed, soaking up the loving moment, he might even do a little sigh of relief. because with you, he's safe. with you, he's loved. and he just wants you to feel the love he has for you through every action. to feel what he can't say. (SORRY I GOT OFF TRACK!!) leon also always has to be touching you in some way. his favorite places for kisses; nose, cheek, neck, or hand. every morning, when he's holding you close, he'll leave small repeated kisses on your neck until you wake up giggling. not really into lip kisses, but will sometimes start a lazy make out session. just loves holding you whenever he can and making sure you feel loved at all times.

⟡ leon will also do the most for you. having a hard time sleeping? he's awake with you, lightly scratching your back in small circles or holding you close while he's running his fingers through your hair. leon just can't sleep knowing that you're having a hard time sleeping. hungry but don't want to cook? he's in the kitchen cheffing it up. putting love in every plate that he makes you, even if it isn't restaurant quality. i feel like leon will also leave you small notes around the house in places that you would find, but it's little drawings instead of words. in the slow cooker, a picture of a flower. in between the dryer sheets, a bad stick figure drawing of what you think is of you and him. at some random page of the book you're reading, a simple heart. 

⟡ leon loves spending time with you. it doesn't matter what it is, even if you're doing nothing. he wants to do nothing with you. his favorite thing to do with you is listen to you. whether you’re rambling about the latest tv drama he knows nothing about or it’s late at night and you’re reading whatever book you’ve picked up. he loves being in the kitchen when you’re cooking/baking. he’s your dedicated sous chef, so feel free to boss him around like your gordon ramsay. although, i’m so sorry for the amount of “my name is sue” jokes he’ll make. loves watching movies, putting together legos/ doing diy crafts, and playing mario kart. 

I NOTICED THIS WAS GETTING LONG AND IDK IF I EXPLAINED THIS WELL BUT IM HOPING I DID. THIS WAS SOOOO SELF INDULGENT.

⟢ when it comes to pet names, leon will add a “my” to the start of it. he’s possessive and it shows in his actions. will often say: my girl, my sweetheart, my baby, my angel, etc.

nsfw (i’m not good at smut sorry)

⟢ the praise problem does not equate to what happens in the bedroom. i'm sorry, i just simply refuse. a complete 180, he's a talker. whether it's saying something so outlandishly lewd like he wants the whole world to hear or sickly sweet nothings in your ear, this dude will NOT stfu. (and it makes me giggle and kick my feet) I WILL PUT MY LIFE ON THE LINE AND SAY THAT THIS MAN IS ABSOLUTELY FERAL IN BED. he's always stressed. from his job, from the lack of self care, from the past that just never seems to leave him. he's on edge. he has healthy ways of releasing it, but sometimes the gym or extra training isn't enough. 

⟢ which can lead to leon being a little mean in bed. he’s absolutely degrading the life out of you while also giving you whiplash with the praise that he gives you as well. leon is a lot more aggressive and at some point you’re just a fleshlight to him. spanking, choking, biting, spitting, you name it, it is on the table. also licking whatever drool comes out of his mouth makes him lose his mind fr.

⟢ i'm not good at writing smut, but i do have an idea of what i think leon's favorite sex positions would be. the first one would be mating press. it's extremely intimate and it allows him to be close to your face and neck than the regular missonary position. again, he really gets off knowing that he's the one getting you off. another postition would be cowgirl, it gives him full view of your chest and face, except you're not really riding him. again, he just using you as a fleshlight like giving you the perception that you’re in control. another would be you on your belly and him basically putting you in a headlock. IDK WHAT IT’S CALLED BUT IF YKYK. and leon just saying the most down right atrocious things in your ear would make me go crazy. 

YOU’RE GONNA SIT THERE AND TELL ME YOU DON’T WANT HIS HUGE ARMS AROUND YOUR NECK, YOU’RE INSANE. 

⟢ last but not least, ✨moaning✨. i like to think that he’s a grunter and whiner at the same time. idk if that makes any sense? he’s loud but not obscenely loud. but sometimes when he overstimulates himself, he’s a complete whiner like lovi (again if ykyk).

[psychesalcove]

omg congrats!!! how about travis stoll with ֶָ֢ "it's just, I can't believe you're actually wearing my clothes,"? he’s just in my head rent free this days tbh. love your writing xx

✧.* travis stoll x gn reader

my blog is completely race & body type friendly

part of psyches, 'in memory of those who chose the sea' event

-> want to participate?

you breathed in, the smell of the campfire, a warming a familiar smell to everyone at camp. the orange hues took over everyone's frame, giving them a golden glow. campfires had always been one of your favorite activities camp half-blood had; it just felt so comforting.

one of the main comforting things: wearing your boyfriend, travis's, hoodie. he always let you borrow them, one of the things you loved about your relationship. tonight, you were wearing one of his hoodies that had the Hermes symbol on it.

before you could get to into your head, a familiar presence sat next to you. 'hi pretty,' travis said as he wrapped an arm around your shoulder to bring you closer. 'you likin' the fire?' he asked and turned his gaze onto you.

'obviously. when have i not,' you mused as you laid your head on his shoulder. before you could say something else, you heard a small giggle come from travis. 'what?' you asked as you smiled and looked up at him.

'nothing,' he said as smiled back at you, eyes holding a warm glow to them. 'its just, i cant believe that you're actually wearing my clothes,' he said as a pink tint took over his cheeks.

you giggled. 'babe, i wear your clothes all the time,' you gently rocked against him, making him laugh again.

'yeah,' he agreed. 'but that doesn't make it not as cute,' he counited, arm moving from your shoulder to your waist. 'i mean, you obviously look cute in your own clothes, but you know what i mean,' he rambled, eyes still on you.

before you could respond, you hear an exaggerated gagging noise from behind you. both travis and you turned as conner looked at you with fake horror in his eyes. 'you two need to get a room' he said, pointing an accusing finger at the two of you.

[touyas-multi-purpose-saline]

ST. CHISAKI'S KINKTOBER 2024

Listed below are the prompts. Peruse these and be mindful of the tags on each individual fic—reader discretion is advised. Some of these fics feature extremely dark and disturbing content. They are not meant to be a healthy depiction nor are they meant to romanticize these topics—they are horror stories and strictly fictional. Please do not let these fics and the content featured within them shape your perception of a healthy relationship and sex life. Remember, consent is the most important factor—and these things need to stay completely fictional. Do not force yourself to read or view the content if you are uncomfortable. 18+ Only!

Warning: The fics with the alchemical symbol feature extremely dark and disturbing content.

I. Foreplay/Kissing (Love Hotel)—Shinsou Hitoshi

II. Cockwarming/Begging—Yamada Hizashi 🜍

III. Somnophilia (Undead AU)—Todoroki Natsuo 🜍

IV. First Time (Student AU)—Todoroki Shouto

V. Emetophilia—Todoroki Touya 🜍

VI. Worship—Tokoyami Fumikage

VII. Roleplay—Iida Tenya

VIII. Fingering—Chisaki Kai 🜍

IX. Forced Orgasm—Chisaki Kai 🜍

X. Orgasm Denial—Sero Hanta

XI. Breeding/Non-Con (Cabin in the Woods AU)—Takami Keigo 🜍

XII. Hand Holding (During Sex)—Midoriya Izuku

XIII. Overstimulation—Chisaki Kai 🜍

XIV. Predator/Prey—Todoroki Touya and Chisaki Kai 🜍

XV. Menophilia—Akaguro Chizome

XVI. Ice Bath—Todoroki Touya 🜍

XVII. Masturbation—Chisaki Kai 🜍

XVIII. Wet Dream—Chisaki Kai 🜍

XIX. Face-Sitting—Rappa Kendou

XX. Body Modification—Todoroki Touya 🜍

XXI. Self-Harm—Chisaki Kai 🜍

XXII. Exhibitionism—Monoma Neito

XXIII. Cannibalism (Trickster AU)—Todoroki Touya 🜍

XXIV. Sensory Deprivation—Chisaki Kai 🜍

XXV. Power Imbalance—Chisaki Kai 🜍

XXVI. Threesome (Guardian Angel/Fallen Cherub Au)—Todoroki Touya and Chisaki Kai 🜍

XXVII. Dry Humping—Todoroki Touya

XXVIII. Dacryphilia—Chisaki Kai 🜍

XXIX. Evil Twin—Todoroki Touya and Chisaki Kai 🜍

XXX. Claustrophilia—Kurono Hari 🜍

XXXI. Yandere—Chisaki Kai 🜍

[the-scandalorian]

like a moth to the flame, part IV

Pairing: monster!Din Djarin x Female Reader Rating: E, 18+ Word Count: 11.1k Content Warnings: dark!Din, predatory/obsessive/possessive behavior, body horror/painful physical transformations, injury/gore, blood and hunting and monstery shit, oral (m-receiving), p-in-v Note: Endlessly grateful to both @frannyzooey and @ezrasbirdie for lending me their big beautiful brains xx

DIN Din had woken, disoriented and hurting, that morning after he’d found the Armorer on Glavis.

He came-to curled in the fetal position on the hard metal floor of his tiny compartment on the humming public transport. Before he’d even opened his eyes, he knew his body felt wrong. Uncomfortable and unwieldy, heavy and strange.

When he did open his eyes to the harsh, artificial light, the first thing he noticed was the sharp clarity of his vision. He wasn’t wearing his helmet, but it felt like he was looking through one of the strongest filters of his visor. He blinked hard. No change.

He unfolded his arms and studied his hands, splaying too-long fingers, and his thoughts tangled and snagged as he tried to make sense of what he was seeing. 

The glint of cruel silver claws. 

In his periphery, he caught the movement of a dark shape over his shoulder.

He tried to scramble away from it. It followed, a shadow.

Wings.

The word felt absurd. But it was…right. Silver that matched the half-moons of those claws, a structure of bone sprouted from both of his shoulder blades, a hooked joint forming the apex of each inky black, bat-like wing. Colossal and dark.

Piece by piece, in a haze of disbelief, he discovered new parts of himself.

The sheer size of this body, the power coiled in his changed muscles. 

He ran a finger along the edge of his teeth, catching the pad on an elongated canine. Blood welled.

The wound on his thigh, where he'd burned himself with the saber the night before, was largely healed. There was only a trace of it, a fading pink scar.

Din stopped there. He couldn’t bring himself to look in a mirror, to see himself like this. He wasn’t ready for it to be real, to know if his face was still his own.

Instead, he picked up his chest plate to start collecting his armor, and his claws bit gently into the perfectly smooth surface. He was stunned.

What scratches beskar?

Beskar.

Of course.

The silver of his claws, of his wing joints was beskar. Virtually indestructible.

Din sank back to the floor and closed his eyes. He sat against the cold metal wall with his clenched fists pressed against his eyelids, the tips of those talons cutting into his palms. He wanted to escape the prison of this body, of this new reality; to wake from this nightmare; to blink himself out of existence altogether. 

He forced himself to slow his breathing, holding it at the top of each inhale, until some of the tension in his chest eased. He let his thoughts go, focused on the cadence of his breath. Preparing himself as he did before a fight.

A slow, creeping sense of relief spread through him gradually, growing so palpable it turned physical. Like a cool wash of water over his aching muscles, a full-body shiver racked him. The tremble and quake of his broad frame was fleeting but intense. A release. His bones shifted in a pinch of discomfort. His mind drifted.

And then, stillness.

He’d opened his eyes minutes later, and his vision was blessedly, beautifully blurred—just barely. As it always was. As it was supposed to be.

Sitting there, staring at his hands and his blunt, human nails, Din might have been able to convince himself he’d imagined all of it. A fever dream. A delusion. An exhaustion-fueled moment of insanity, his mind addled by the fight and the pain and the life-altering dismissal from his covert. 

Except, etched into his chest plate…those damning marks.

A mechanical voice announced the imminent arrival of the transport, interrupting his moment of existential crisis. Tatooine. The local time and weather blared through the speaker.

Tatooine. He couldn’t go back there. Not like this.

He made a choice. He dressed and readied himself, deboarded and found his way to the baggage claim. A droid unlocked his case, and Din methodically reattached each of his weapons. He reached for the dark saber last. The metal hilt felt hot, even through the thick leather of his glove. Nothing else had—not his blaster or his charges. Just the saber, warm under his touch. Warm like something alive. Like something warm-blooded, something with a thrumming pulse. Like something pleased to be back in his grip.

Like it knew.

He clipped it to his belt and let it drop, relieved to not have it in his hand.

Din turned, looking for the closest screen of departures, and scanned the list for the least populated destination.

*** Now, months later, he wakes to a fantasy.

He hadn’t meant to sleep. He didn’t want to risk it, even in the armor—not after he felt his body start to shift under his beskar last night. He didn’t think that was possible. Then he’d sucked your taste off his fingers, and his head had snapped to the side, his spine straightening. He’d felt the pop of vertebra and the sudden tightness of the skin across his back, the warm tension in his muscles straining for the change, but he’d managed to stave it off. 

Just barely.

No, he hadn’t meant to sleep last night, but he had. And he wakes now, well rested, to the feeling of your warm body curled into his side, your head nuzzled into his neck, your breathing slow and deep. Watery morning light, as light as this dark forest ever gets, is visible through the trees outside the window.

He’d tried to move away from you during the night, to give you space, sure that you’d be more comfortable without the hard edges of beskar digging into your soft body, but every time he’d started to extract himself gently, you’d grumbled and tightened your fingers wherever they happened to be—caught in the folds of his duraweave, gripped around armor, tangled with his own. The leg you had hooked over his thigh had tensed too, your foot tucking itself under his other knee. You twined yourself around him, like a tenacious little climbing vine, and refused to let go.  

He likes it. You’re possessive too.

The realization hurts a soft spot under his ribs—you want what he wants. To belong to someone. To claim and be claimed. To know that closeness. Skin-to-skin, joined and sweaty, without all these fucking layers between you. That hopeless, dangerous thing he can never give you.

That thought is unbearable when you’re asleep on his chest, your hand still curled over the top of his chest plate, fingers clinging to the sharp cut of metal. When he can smell the faint tang of your blood as it pumps idly through your veins, detectable even under the layer of your delicate floral scent, even from beneath his helmet.

His mouth waters.

It’s the catalyst that finally gets him moving. He carefully but forcefully unfastens your hand, inches your leg off his, and slips out of bed. You readjust but don’t wake.

As soon as he’s standing, looking down at you, he regrets it. The space between your bodies is intolerable, and he has nothing to do but wait for you to wake. So he waits. He waits, and he seethes.

He thinks about the mistakes he’s made.

*** He’d spent yesterday angry at himself, fuming at his own idiocy. He’d ruminated on how to proceed, how to scare you off again after he’d all but courted you the previous night when he’d given you a com link. Had invited you to use it. Fucking encouraged it. He’d been drunk on you—on your presence, on your forgiveness, on your smile. On the headiness of your scent as you’d stood so close to him outside your house. And it had messed with his fucking head, made him do stupid things. Dangerous things.

He’d worked through the steps of his drills while he thought, slashing the saber through the air as he’d tried to decide what to do. How to retract his offer of the com. He didn’t think he could bring himself to be cruel to you, to reject you outright. He’d imagined your face, imagined the hurt there, and he’d just…known he couldn’t do it. He’d have to leave. He wouldn’t let himself see you again. He'd jam the frequency of the com link. A clean break.

It was the only option.

He’d decided he’d let himself change early then, before the sun had dipped below the green horizon. One last hunt before he found a way off this planet. 

He’d been minutes away from letting himself shift, minutes away from heading out completely uninhibited, when he’d caught your scent. You were close. The timing of it had made him want to break something. That was exactly the problem with all of this: one misstep, one instance of bad timing…and you could end up dead.

Why hadn’t he thought about you finding the bodies? How had that not occurred to him? 

He’d left a perfect trail from your house to his. His animal brain had thought protect and nothing else. He’d gotten sloppy, comfortable. Maybe some part of him had wanted you to find it, to follow.

This was how it would end, then, he’d thought as he waited for you. Not in the easy way he’d planned, not a quiet exit—a coward’s exit. He’d have to face you, to turn you away and tell you he was leaving. 

Then you were in front of him, and all of that was gone—the struggle and the resolve, the determination and decency. He’d fought to get it back for a few minutes, scrabbled against his own desire. Had tried to deny himself—to deny you. It was futile.

You’d asked him if he thought you were weak, if all of this was somehow your fault. And that was it.

He’d refused to punish you for his sins. 

*** And now you’re in his bed. Warm and soft under his comforter, your head pressed into his pillow. A dream. Something he could wake up to tomorrow and the next day, if he wanted. A string of perfect, untouchable days stretching before him like a beckoning temptress.

He can’t let himself think like that.

Your life, he reminds himself. Your life is what matters most. Keeping you here wouldn’t just be selfish, wouldn’t just be a temporary balm, it would be a gamble. Your life pitted against his own self-restraint. Your life pitted against the self-restraint of a monster he doesn’t trust.

If he can just get you out—out of his bed, out of his house, out of his head—he’ll be able to think straight, and then he can go.

He watches you stir, aware suddenly that a fully armored Mandalorian looming over you might not be the most comforting sight for you to wake to. But you crack open sleepy eyes before he can move, and a lazy smile spreads across your face. His heartbeat stumbles.

“Morning,” you yawn, stretching your arms over your head.

“Morning,” he replies, clipped as he tries to expedite this process.

“It’s early,” you muse, your gaze trailing to the window. “I think you should come back to bed.”

Din’s thoughts stall immediately. You look so cozy, so comfortable snuggled in his bed. In his bed.

“Please?”

Din’s helmet follows the path of your hand as it begins to wander: as it slides languidly down the column of your neck, molds over the swell of your breast, lingers along your waist. You know you’ve snared him right away. You always know.

He just stands there, silent and yielding, as you kick the blankets away and shimmy out of your clothes. He wants to tell you to stop, but his mouth isn’t responding to his brain, his jaw dropped open slightly behind the helmet as he surveys the bare lines of your body. He didn’t get to enjoy this yesterday, didn’t get to luxuriate in the view, to drink in every detail. To commit it to memory.

His visor catches where your fingers stroke the curve of your hip.

“I can’t—” he starts.

You slip your hand between your legs, run your fingers through the soft hair there.

He was going to get you out. To regroup. That was his intention.

One of your fingers slips lower, dips into the seam of your sex. His cock responds.

He barely knows his own name, let alone any sense of reason when you’re looking at him like that—touching yourself like that. Begging him to touch you. His nervous system jolts from freeze directly into overdrive, and immediately he can feel himself brushing up against some physical limit, teetering on the edge of his control.

He watches you drop your knees open, and a low, pained sound passes through the modulator when you use two fingers to part yourself, putting yourself on display for him. You roll the pad of one finger over your clit, and your head drops back onto the pillow, your eyes closing in pleasure. Need claws at the inside of him. 

“Stop,” he commands, but there’s no bite in it, his mouth watering at the sight of your stroking fingers.

You smile and widen the spread of your thighs, moving your hand lower.

He tries to sound firm, but his words come out like a plea: “Don’t—”

“I wouldn’t have to touch myself if you’d do it for me.”

You keep your eyes on his visor as you press two fingers inside yourself, frictionless as they sink inside the warm clutch of your body. He’s fixated on the flex of your wrist as you fuck yourself gently—his rapt attention suddenly a shivering, living thing throbbing under his skin. When you ease them out, he can see the shine of your arousal coating your skin up to the knuckle, a clear thread strung between your fingers for a brief moment when you slowly separate them.

“Your fingers feel so much better,” you breathe.

His blood pulses loudly in his ears, a too-slow beat. He knows what you feel like, clenched around his thick fingers—how slick, how hot. He knows what you taste like, licked off his own skin. Din would like to say that some greater primal force takes over, hijacks his body, that the monster in him doesn’t give him a choice, but that would be a lie.

He decides to let go.

Without changing forms, Din silences the part of his mind that’s protesting. He lets the animal of his hindbrain take control, a predator submitting to the call of its prey drive. It feels good to give in—a rush of blissful quiet overtakes him. He looks at you, and it’s simple. He wants you.

Time slows, but his hands move quickly—going to his belt buckle. The weapon-heavy leather thuds when it hits the ground at his feet.

You watch him disarm himself, poised like a willing sacrifice on his bed with your hand caught between your open legs, a naked eagerness on your face that pleases the possessive, hungry thing in his chest. His vision is tinged red, the severed thread of his control a distant memory as he thinks of all the things he wants to do with you.

To you.

He condemned himself to this the moment he let himself touch you. There’s no going back. He’s going to taste your nectar from the source. He’s going to fuck you with his tongue and gently suckle your clit between his lips until you sob. He’s going to eat you out until you come on his face, your hands tangled in his hair.

And then he’s going to do it again.

He tries not to think about how much easier that would be with his other tongue, his tongue when he’s transformed—long and dextrous as it is. He could get so deep inside you like that. Taste you from the inside out.

Later. He appeases himself with the promise of later. The promise of tomorrow and more more more.

His gaze settles on your mouth. There’s something else he wants now.

He approaches the bed and stands at its side, waiting patiently. That desperate sense of urgency drops away, and his shoulders relax. He can decide to have all the time in the world with you if he only lets himself. 

When he hunts, when Din really truly hunts these days, he finds that he likes to draw out the indulgence of it. The tease and the chase. The kick of adrenaline before the slaughter. He understands why a predator plays with its prey before it makes the kill. 

Because it can.

Because it feels good.

You’re expecting him to join you on the bed. He can see it in your expectant gaze.

“You want it so bad?” he asks, dipping his helmet down. “Come here.”

A wicked look flashes across your face at the change in his voice, at the invitation. There’s a beat of anticipation as you decide to play along, and then you crawl to the edge of the bed on your hands and knees. He watches, an imperious tilt to his helmet.

You perch on the edge, looking up. Waiting.

“Go ahead,” he nods. “Take it out.”

Your hands move to the button on his pants, but you don’t pop it open right away. You let your hand mold to the hard bulge there, feeling the heft of him.

He tilts his helmet the other direction, impatient, and you go for the zipper. 

Before you’ve even pulled his cock out, before you’ve even touched him, Din thinks the sensation of your hot breath on the expanse of skin exposed by his open fly might be the most erotic thing he’s ever experienced. 

He rips his gloves off and locks a hand around the nape of your neck. 

He thinks for a fleeting moment how obvious it must be—his obsession with your mouth. The edge of mania he’s shoved toward when you let your tongue drag up his hip bone. That he’d slit his wrists at the altar of your perfect lips if you asked.

Your eyes drag upward slowly as you lick across his skin, gaze catching on the armored lines of his body before it meets his visor. You peer up at him as you inch the fabric of his pants down just far enough. And then your eyes flick down to watch a pearly bead of precum slip down the length of his shaft at your closeness.

“You want it?” he rasps. “Open your mouth.”

He grunts in satisfaction when your lips part immediately. Again when your hand curls around the base of him and your tongue darts out to circle his head, a touch so infuriatingly delicate that it makes him want to hold you down and fuck your throat raw.

He doesn’t, of course. He lets you set the pace even though your teasing lick across the underside of his cock and another over his slit feel as much like torture as they do like pleasure. 

Finally, finally, you take him fully into the heat of your mouth. You start up a steady rhythm, and he’s more than satisfied to let you take the reins. 

You’re less satisfied with that though—you settle a hand over his on your neck and press down, your eyes skirting upward as you nod subtly, your other hand urging his hips forward, urging him to fuck your mouth. 

Use me. 

He wishes you could see his face in this moment, what you do to him. Din’s eyelashes flutter shut at the perfection of your request. But immediately, he snaps them open again, needing to see.

He thrusts forward, and you whine in approval, your fingers tightening on his hip—taking him deep again and again, until he watches a line of saliva slide down your chin. Until your lashes grow wet, eyes watering at the effort of taking him over and over. 

It’s too much. It’s too good. 

The tight, hot constriction of your throat as you swallow around the head of him, the hard suck of your cheeks hollowing out around his shaft. His helmet rocks back, and a growl reverberates through his chest. But he’s not about to let himself come without knowing what it feels like to fuck you.

His hand drops away from the back of your neck; he forces his hips to still. “Enough,” he grits.

When you surge forward again, taking him deep, he closes a hand gently around your throat and eases you backward, off him.

“I said stop.” He thinks the words would be menacing if the fractured restraint in his voice weren’t so apparent. If you couldn’t see the steady leak of precum from his cock, the drizzle of opaque liquid on his dark pants. He’s teetering right on the painful edge of orgasm, and you know it. 

“Need to fuck you,” he says, his hand still settled over your throat.

“Then fuck me,” you reply, your voice hoarse as you shift backward on the bed. 

“You want my fingers first?” he asks, his hand drifting down the inside of your thigh. “You want to cum on my hand again?”

“No,” you say, catching his wrist and pulling him onto the bed, over you. 

“No?” he says. “You want it to hurt?”

“Yes.”

His fingers tighten on your thigh. Too hard. “Turn around.”

You flip over and settle on your knees in front of him, and Din can see how much you enjoyed sucking his cock in the glossy spread of your cunt. 

He catches a drop of your arousal with two caressing fingers. “You want to be fucked hard? Is that what you want, you greedy little thing?”

You press your hips back, rubbing yourself into the cup of his hand. And for a moment, his mind buzzes with blankness—with the thought that he could be tasting you instead of just touching you. He satisfies himself for now by lining up his cock with the soft heat of your pussy, by pressing his sensitive head against your arousal-slick flesh. 

But when you whine and start to shift backward into him, he waits. Savors. “You need my cock that bad, huh?”

“Please, I need it. I want it—”

It’s that thing he fantasizes about—the daydream he strokes himself to in the shower after he hunts, when he’s sticky with blood and the leash on his desire has long been snapped. Your whined plea for him, your need so stark and bright that he couldn’t ever possibly deny you. Your need for him so heightened it threatens to match his for you.

“Take it then,” he pants. “Take what you asked for.”

He sinks his cock into the welcoming heat of your body, pressing slowly against the tight resistance of little preparation—hears the soft, drawn-out oh of your pleasure—and he knows there’s no coming back from this.

*** So he doesn’t fight it. He keeps you.

Days turn into a week. Into two. You bring life and sound to this desolate place—the creak of your steps on the hardwood floor, the sound of your humming, the quiet clanks of your movements around the kitchen in the early morning light. The quiet, steady tick of your heartbeat. All those pretty little noises you make when he has you in his bed—the moans and the whimpers and the pleas. His pillow smells like mellow spring flowers, and there are rose colored skirts and silky blue pajamas in his dresser.

He likes it.

He likes the noise and the tightness of the space and the company.

When he heads outside to chop wood for the fireplace, you follow to watch him roll up the duraweave sleeves of his flight suit and swing the ax—again and again until a thick log splits down the middle with a crack—and the attention pleases him. 

The weeks stack up, and there is a bar of soap speckled with lavender flowers in his shower. There are sweet strawberry preserves lined up in his cupboard, a colorful wool throw blanket tossed over the back of the couch that you insist is a necessity. For sitting in front of the fire, of course. You poke fun at his ascetic choices, at the lack of coziness in his house, but you don’t seem mad at all to be the one to provide it. 

He thinks you know instinctively that home isn’t a place or a concept he’s familiar with. He thinks you love being the one to show him what it could mean. 

He can tell you don’t mind that you have to face opposite directions when you eat. He thinks you like the sound of his voice even more when it’s not passed through the modulator. You draw out every meal with questions. He draws them out with his answers.

He tells you about the little green bounty that changed his life, the soup his mother made for him when he was sick, being adopted by the Mandalorians, the fact that he used to love swimming as a child. That sometimes he thinks about how good it would feel to strip off his armor and swim now. You tell him about your dreams, your childhood, your plans, everything.

When he slips his helmet on again and you turn to face him, he can see that the gulf between what he does tell you and the whole truth is obvious, though.

There is a question—are many questions—swimming in your eyes. The intention to get answers too. He’s not sure which exactly questions they are: Why the armor? The helmet? The Creed? Why this place? Where is he going next? When? What happened to him? What is he? Why the isolation and the fear and the hesitation and mile-high walls and why why why?

What the fuck happened to the wall of the shower?

Valid questions, every one. Many are things he asks himself regularly. All are questions he doesn’t know how to answer without shattering this perfect moment, without ruining the lovely domesticity you’re cultivating together. So when he sees that look and your lips part, Din speaks before you can. He’s not ready, yet, to go there. He reaches for your hand or strokes a gloved finger over your cheek and deflects. 

Just a little longer, he thinks, please. And you’re not fooled—he knows that. You understand the request and allow it for now, and he’ll take what he can.

“You want to learn how to shoot?” he asks instead. 

Your eyes light up.

He helps you pick a blaster from his collection—“How many blasters does one man need, Mando?”—that’s well suited to you, that fits your grip. He sets up targets outside, scattered on trees at varying distances, and stands close behind you, a solid wall against your back. He adjusts your stance and the placement of your hands, letting his touch linger on your waist in a way that makes your heart rate readout on his helmet spike. 

“Are you going to let me focus or not?” you quip, peering at him over your shoulder. “I thought you were trying to teach me something here.”

He raises innocent hands and steps back. “I didn’t realize I was distracting you.”

You smile slyly at him. “Sure.”

He lets himself enjoy it, the ease between you, the way you can read him even through the armor. Standing a short distance behind you, he talks you through the process: how to aim and shoot, how to breathe.

Hand-to-hand, next, he thinks to himself as he watches you practice. Then blades. Tracking.

He’ll teach you anything and everything that will protect you.

For when he’s no longer here to do it for you, he doesn’t let himself think. 

He watches you practice each day, watches you focus on the target, your lip caught between your teeth in concentration, until you nail the bullseye. You run to the tree where the target is hanging—a hole singed through the middle—letting out a triumphant cry, and he follows.

“Look,” you grin, so proud it makes his heart trip. You point at the perfectly placed burn mark. 

“Good,” he praises. “Do it again.” 

You roll your eyes, but you do. You return dutifully to the line he’d drawn in the pine needle strewn ground and shoot until you get the hang of it, until a miss is rare. And then he fucks you up against that tree, your dress bunched up around your hips, the blaster abandoned somewhere by your feet. 

You leave for a day, maybe two, here and there to check on things at home, that little fawn you love. As soon as you’re gone, he spends a couple hours getting as far in the opposite direction as he can, changing, hunting whatever he can find in the shortest time, and then after he’s washed every trace of blood away and donned his armor, he waits for you to come back. He tells himself it’s a perfectly workable arrangement.

It’s fine. It’s safe. Safe enough.

With his attention elsewhere, it takes him a few weeks to notice that those prints, the ones he’d been tracking so obsessively, have started to show up closer to his house, to yours. They mark a quiet, slow encroachment into his territory—inching just barely past that boundary he’d been so careful to hold until recently. Their bravery is returning, their local numbers rebounding, because he hasn’t been pushing them back by culling their pack with regularity.

He makes a mental note to keep a closer eye on things, reassured by the fact that there are miles of buffer between their progress and you. And, more importantly, that more often than not, he’s by your side these days—like the times you ask him to come with you when you leave. He’s not going to say no to you.

Every night, he gets to undress you and pull you into his bed. To touch you and fuck you and make you come. He gets to learn what makes you cry, what makes you scream, what makes you beg.

All in the armor, still. In the beskar prison that keeps you safe from him. That line he manages, somehow, to maintain. The monster in him hasn’t wrested it from him yet, and he clings to that last safety net, that final border between risky and reckless. 

He wonders every day when you’ll hit your threshold. When it’ll all become too much—the secrets and the questions and the armor. Every day you don’t ask or push or leave, he breathes a sigh of relief, knowing full well it just means the next day is more likely. That worry is so dwarfed by the pleasure of having you that he barely notices it, though.

It helps, too, that he’s well rested for the first time in a long time.

Din doesn’t dream when you’re in his bed, isn’t haunted by the nightmares. He slips into sleep, and it doesn’t fight him like it usually does. He sleeps soundly with your warm, soft form tucked against his side, your face pressed into his cowl. Your presence, your touch, your scent—they soothe him.

He’s always known—even before he admitted it to himself—that there would be no halfway with this. No measured approach to having you. And he was right, of course. Here you are, living with him… and happy, he thinks. He doesn’t like to think about what would happen if that changed, if you left. What he'd do. What he'd have to stop himself from doing.

Din loves hard, with teeth, and all of his are sunk deep in you. If he really thinks about it, though, the opposite is true. Yours, sunk deep in him. You have a bone-deep hold on him, a fatal bite that severed something vital upon first contact. If you decided to let go, he’d bleed out.

And he feels lighter than he has in months. Maybe years.

It scares him so much he doesn’t want to think about it.

So he doesn’t.

YOU

It’s not intentional. You don’t sit down together and make a decision, but you don’t want to leave and he doesn’t want you to go. So you just…don’t.

Slowly, with time, your most essential things migrate from your place to his. You bring a bag of clothes here and your favorite blanket another time. Your shampoo comes along with other bathroom essentials, and some kitchen supplies find their way into his drawers and cabinets.

Within a few weeks, you all but live with him.

You know instinctively that the opposite arrangement—staying together at your house—isn’t possible. Whether or not it’s actually necessary, Mando takes his self-imposed exile seriously. It’s another of the many things you don’t push him on.

Yet.

You visit home on a regular basis, of course, to keep an eye on things. Town, too, for supplies. You make the long walk alone—or sometimes together when you can convince him to put off whatever mysterious, imperative thing he has to do when you’re gone, and it feels shorter then. He’s not so hard to persuade.

You check on Luna, who is happy and well fed in the warmth of the barn, kept company by the chickens and the handful of braying goats. 

You find that she’s terrified of other people—or at least of Mando. You’ve never brought anyone else around so it’s hard to know if it’s something about him specifically. Maybe it’s the armor or his size. The first time she sees him, she goes rigid, the picture of freeze, and it takes twenty minutes to calm her down after you nudge Mando back out of the barn and close the door behind him. Even after several visits, she remains wary of him, barely willing to tolerate his presence.

A detail, like so many others, you file away for later.

It's one of many that you don't mention—anything that might prompt impossible conversations. Instead of souring the moment, instead of asking the hundreds of questions that are piling up in your head, you tacitly agree to avoid those things, skirting around any topics that elicit unanswerable questions or suggest an expiration date. Again and again. For weeks.

Then months.

It’s easy enough to rationalize. Might as well make the short time you have together pain free. Only good.

And, fuck, is it good.

You wake in his bed each morning and fall back into it each night. You wait for your lust for him to abate, for the initial need to be sated. Two months in, though, it hasn’t so much as begun to subside. If anything, it’s grown. It’s fed, you think, by the fact that you still don’t get all of him—what you do get just makes you want more. 

You get his hands, his cock, the expanse of his lower abdomen and upper thighs when he unbuckles his belt and fucks you. The sound of his unfiltered voice when you eat together. The sight of his thick, veined forearms when he chops wood. Snatches of golden skin dusted in dark hair.

Never his mouth, his eyes, his chest, the rest of him—his face. His face, that you think you might already love without having ever seen.

The why of it all—of the pace, of his nature—doesn’t feel so urgent any more, now that you’ve had the opportunity to soak him in, in more than just brief interactions. You can sense the why on him when you start to appreciate the weight of his past and his creed. There’s a layer of pain and loss calcified under his armor: you can all but feel it when your fingers work past an edge of beskar. He starts to tell you about it, too; he starts to untangle the complicated knot that is Mando. It’s usually during a meal when you’re faced away from each other and you get to hear his real voice that he starts to open up. You untease his past question by question, answer by answer.

When you do almost slip, almost ask a question that is too present, he helps you put it back. Offers a distraction that you gladly accept. An unspoken agreement of not yet.

He just needs time. You just need more time together.

You try not to think about the fact that you might not have time. No, you package that thought up with that list of forbidden questions, the ones that would threaten to crack the ice you’re standing on together, and tuck them all away. 

You take the things that he does offer, accept his baffling limits. You satisfy yourself with the reminder of progress. If you think back to a few months ago and draw a line from those cordial interactions at the Saturday market to the current reality of living with him—to watching him welcome all the ways you insinuate yourself into his space, to witnessing the way he seems to soften for you—you can’t help but feel hopeful about what the next few months will hold.

*** Winter comes early this year, sneaking in on quiet feet. It descends around you slowly—in brisk mornings and frozen dew drops strung along twigs like pearls—and then it comes all at once in a sudden blanket of white. You wake up to a thick layer of snow on the ground, the tree limbs and roof frosted and glittering.

He teaches you how to protect yourself—how to shoot and fight and track. You think there’s a part of him that’s certain if he only teaches you enough, you’ll always be safe. You can feel it in his palpable sense of relief when you master a new skill. As if he has a mental list of things to impart on you before he runs out of time.

When you’re consistently nailing the center of his targets again and again, Mando outfits you with a blaster of your own, tells you to keep it on you at all times—that it’s yours. That day, he drops to one knee in front of you. 

“Lean,” he says, patting his pauldron.

You listen without really thinking about it, bracing a hand on his shoulder.

“Up,” he says, gesturing to your foot and offering his armored thigh.

You comply, and he slips two loops of leather up your leg, the fabric of your skirt catching on his forearm as he inches them up, until the tips of his fingers brush your inner thigh. A holster. A holster he made for you.

He tightens the straps and then slips the small silver blaster into the leather sheath. 

You graduate to hand-to-hand combat next—well, not so much graduate as add it to the schedule. He’s visibly pleased when he discovers that you already have some skills with a knife, when you know how to disarm him of his vibroblade in certain holds, how to make an attacker bleed freely with one well-placed slash. How to sever a tendon or an artery. But he finds plenty of ways to stump you, ways to overpower you, and you practice those until you know how to get out of them too. 

A few weeks in, you’re more than satisfied with your skill level, ready to move on. Mando, on the other hand, is ever insistent on more. He holds you with your back against his chest, caught and pinned, a purring vibroblade at your throat. 

You’re exhausted, sweaty and sore from breaking out of his grasp again and again. You’re supposed to be doing it once more right now. But you’re limp in his hold.

“Go on,” he grunts.

“I’m actually fine with this,” you decide, letting your weight go even more leaden in his arms.

He scoffs low in his throat. “Is that right.”

“That’s right. I surrender. Do with me what you will.” You drop your head back, looking up at his impassive visor.

He considers. “Anything?”

The word slithers up your spine. “Anything,” you repeat, letting your eyes go heavy-lidded.

He closes the blade and tosses it away, releasing his hold on you. When you lurch forward at the unexpected freedom, your knees buckling slightly, he catches your waist to steady you. 

You spin to face him, pointing a finger at the diamond-like center of his chestplate, staying far enough away that he can’t encircle you in his arms again. “Technically that counts as me getting out of that hold.”

He plants a hand on his hip. “Disagree.”

“Emotional manipulation is a weapon. You’re just mad I’m better at it than you are. Maybe I should give you lessons. You know what, yeah, I think it’s only fair that we also start practicing scenarios where I’m the one in control.”

He cocks his head suggestively. “Are we still talking about training?” 

“Yes.”

He stares at you silently, adjusting his weight from one foot to the other. It speaks volumes.

You scoff. “Are you implying that I could never have the upper hand in a fight? That there’s no chance in the galaxy of that ever happening?”

A damning beat of silence and then: “No.”

“You are!”

He gestures at his chest, shrugs. “Beskar.”

You roll your eyes. “I’d just need to catch you at the right moment—sleeping or showering—and take you by surprise. Or have the right weapon. Like poison. I know plenty of plants that would kill you—plenty of plants I could find out here or maybe…yeah…those.” 

You gesture at the row of detonators lined up on the side of his belt as he reattaches it around his middle. He always takes it off before you practice hand-to-hand, along with the vambrace that apparently emits flame.

“Yeah, they’d be effective,” he admits, clipping the buckle together. “The problem is you don’t have any.”

“You don’t like me enough to share your detonators with me?”

“To kill me? No.”

“How about this one?” you ask, reaching toward the mysterious hilt that’s always clipped next to them.

He steps out of reach before you can touch it.

“What is it? Can I see it?”

“I don’t use it,” he says. You know him well enough now to read the lie in his level voice.

“Then why do you always carry it?”

“It’s…a long story.”

“I’ve got time,” you press, curious.

He looks away. “I can’t.”

And you realize it isn’t just stubbornness or stoicism. It’s pain. A bruise he isn’t ready to address, and you’re prodding it.

You wonder how many secrets can simmer between you before they boil over.

“Alright, come on,” you say, grabbing his hand and turning for the house. “I’m starving.”

*** It’s deep winter when Mando starts to take you into the woods, away from his house, to teach you the basics of tracking. Each time, when the forest lightens around you and you can hear the titter of birds overhead, he tells you to pick the tracks of a deer or a fox to follow. It’s easier now that the snow is thick on the ground, a continuous blanket of white.

He instructs you, as he always does, to disregard the larger prints—the clawed ones—that you come upon occasionally. Too often for comfort.

“I’ll take care of those,” he says, unconcerned. 

Each time, you think back to that bloody trail and know he’s more than capable. And then you wonder when he’s away from you long enough to actually do that. 

Never, it turns out.

You’re on the tail of a stag when he holds out an arm unexpectedly, stopping you in your tracks.

“What is it?”

He turns his head slowly, scanning the quiet forest. Listening, waiting. You can’t hear a thing—not a rustle of leaves or whisper of wind. The stag isn’t close.

“They’re coming.”

“The sta—?”

Mando drops his arm and grabs your hand, hauling you back in the direction of home. You follow on instinct when he breaks into a jog with you in tow, heavy boots crunching through the snow. He twitches as he moves; he groans and presses his shoulders back, rolling his neck, his hand too tight around yours.

He’s in pain.

“Mando—” you say, trying to slow him down, to understand.

“Run,” he interrupts, pushing you ahead of him, urging you toward the house. “I can’t stop it."

You halt in front of him, a hand raised to his chest plate. “I can’t— I won’t—”

He growls when you hesitate, the sound not entirely human. His hands are shaking.

“I can help—” you start, not even entirely sure what you’re offering.

“I won’t risk you.”

“But—”

A gloved hand settles over your mouth, the other gripped tightly around your bicep. “We don’t have time for this. I won’t let you—I can’t—just go home and lock the door. And promise me you’ll stay there until I come back.”

He drops his hand and starts stripping off his gloves and vambraces. “What are you—?” The pieces click together belatedly in your head. Those colossal prints, the clawed ones.

They’re coming.

“Promise me,” he says, forcing them into your hands. “Take this too.”

He reaches for his helmet and rips it off his head, pushing it into your arms. Your jaw drops open in surprise. You don’t even have time—or the free hands—to cover your eyes or the sense to shut them tight.

“It’s okay,” he says, responding to the fear in your eyes. “I wanted to—been wanting to.”

You only have a moment to take him in. He’s just as handsome as you imagined—maybe, impossibly, more. His dark hair is wavy and tousled, falling across his forehead. His eyes are brown and wild with fear, his sharp jaw peppered with gray-flecked stubble. His perfect lips are set in a half-smile. He looks a little bashful for a moment, a little boyish as you study him.

He holds your face between his warm hands. “Promise you won’t leave the house until I come back.”

You nod.

“Say it,” he prompts, his dark eyes serious. He knows you didn’t really mean it the first time.

“I won’t leave the house until you come back,” you repeat, a little dazed.

You’re looking into his eyes. Your brain is struggling to process it.

There's fear there that doesn't just belong to the threat to your safety. It's more: the fear of being seen. Wholly.

You’re waiting for more words to come to you—something that will express the feeling that’s blooming in your chest without relying on words it’s too early to say.

“Be careful.” It’s the best you can manage.

He presses his lips to yours in a quick kiss. It’s too fast, not enough. If your arms weren’t full of beskar, you’d grab him to keep him close, to kiss him deeper. Instead, he’s pulling back and turning you on the spot with an iron grip.

“Go.”

He urges you forward with a gentle push, and you break into a jog, glancing over your shoulder as often as possible without running face-first into a tree or slipping in the powdery snow underfoot. He’s stripping off his chest plate, his pauldrons, his thigh guards. Leaving them haphazardly on the forest floor.

The last time you look back, his back is to you, and several pairs of yellow eyes are emerging in the dark spaces between the trees.

One, two, four—too many to count.

You’re tempted to stop. To turn back. To bring him the rest of his beskar. It feels so wrong to leave him out here, alone and unarmored. He’s stripping down from metal to man, and it feels unbearably vulnerable. Maybe you could help—

But just as you’re thinking that, Mando turns his head and bellows, “Go!”

You’re far from him—too far to truly make out the details—but you swear, even across the vast distance, that the whites of his eyes look black.

*** You drop the pile of beskar onto the kitchen table, unholster your blaster, and drag a chair to the window. You study the intricate line work of ice on the frosted pane, tracing cold veins with the pad of your finger. You fidget and shift, but you don’t dare leave your spot.

You stare at the place between the trees where you emerged, straining to hear any sound, knuckles white where they’re wrapped around the edge of your seat.

It’s silent.

Minutes pass like molasses—they stretch and sprawl, leisurely and unhurried, while you wait.

You steal glances at the clock on the wall. You swear it’s been hours since you slid the dead bolt shut behind you, but the clock tells you you’ve been sitting here for eight minutes.

Ten.

Twelve.

Seventeen.

He’s out there, outnumbered and alone.

Fuck it.

You get to your feet.

You wrench open the front door, but before you can break into a run, you catch a subtle movement between the trees. The blaster slips out of your hand. He’s staggering back to you—stripped and injured. His flight suit is unzipped to his waist, the sleeves tied around his hips. One hand is gripping his ribs, the other trapping pieces of his armor against his side. He’s barefoot and limping through the snow.

You run to him.

His hair is sticking to his sweaty forehead, and there’s blood on his face—so much blood—coating his lips, smeared across one flushed cheek. Lines running down his neck. It covers his hands, forearms. It’s splattered across his muscled chest. When his lips part in a pained grimace, you can see the inside of his mouth is bloody too, red lining his white teeth. 

You don’t have time to process it, to think about what it means because he’s hurt.

He must see the terror on your face when you register the state of him because he shakes his head and says, “Not mine. Just this,” jerking his chin down to gesture at his side. 

A row of deep lacerations is seeping blood down his ribs, over his tense fingers and down his stomach, where it’s soaking into the dark fabric bunched at his hips. You shudder at the sight of it—even through his spread fingers, you can see that his flesh is torn open in a way that makes your stomach pitch.

Behind him, there’s a sporadic trail between the trees, red dripped on virgin snow.

You want to hold him, to pull him into your arms, and, most of all, to fix him and put him back together. You start by taking the pile of armor from him and slipping under the arm of his uninjured side, pulling it over your shoulders to support his weight. He accepts the help wordlessly, leaning on you as you stumble forward together.

“They’re gone,” he pants. “Dead. Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” you scoff. “Are you?”

“I’ll be fine.”

“You’re bleeding.”

He grunts.

You limp the rest of the distance to the house together and pull open the front door, kicking it shut behind you as you help him inside. He reaches behind you to lock it, his shoulders dropping in relief when it clicks.

You drop his beskar on the floor as gently as you can while you’re half holding him up. It clatters.

“We need to get these closed up,” you say, gesturing toward a kitchen chair. “You need bacta. Sit down.”

When he doesn’t move to sit, you look up at his face, and he’s staring at you with an intensity—a soft, quiet intensity of creased brows and bright brown eyes—that takes your breath away. 

“I’m fine,” he protests, gently gripping your shoulders and pushing you back in the direction of the bed instead. He fumbles with the hem of your shirt, trembling fingers slipping under the fabric to caress your skin. “I’ll heal. Just let me touch you.”

His hands are hot on your waist.

"You’re not okay,” you protest, trying and failing to redirect him. “You won’t heal if you bleed out.”

“I just need to hold you.” His words are starting to slur, running together. The blood loss is tipping him into delirium.

“After—just let me—”

He ignores you and curls himself around you, crushing you against his body, a heavy hand holding your head to his chest, the other arm locking yours to your sides.

“Mando, please—I really need to stop the bleeding—”

“Din,” he says, nestling his face against your neck sweetly. His forehead is sweaty and feverish. He brushes gentle lips over your fluttering pulse. “My name is Din.”

You’re speechless.

“I want you to call me that,” he says. “Please.” There’s a heartbreaking vulnerability behind his words, like he’s worried you won’t accept the offering of something so precious.

“Of course. Of course, I will.” His grip slackens, and you wrap your arms around his middle reflexively. The heat of his throbbing wound and the hot slip of blood against your forearm make you recoil.

“Shit—sorry—”

But Din doesn’t react to the pain.

“Din—hey—”

You try to pull back, to extricate yourself from his hold and get a better look at him, but the arms draped over your shoulders go leaden, and he sways on his feet, forcing you backward a couple faltering steps. The backs of your calves hit the bed.

“Din—” You try to steady him, but he’s getting heavier by the second, his weight shifting unexpectedly as he tries to keep his balance, half-conscious and fading.

Your knees threaten to buckle when he grunts and goes completely boneless, slumping against you.

“Fuck—”

You’re just barely able to angle your body so that you can gently—and awkwardly—use his momentum to guide him face-first onto the bed. It’s a miracle you both don’t end up in a crumpled pile on the floor. You hoist his legs up too. It takes all your strength to haul his dead weight over to flip him onto his back so you can access the slashes across his ribs.

Your heart jumps into your throat when you see how rapidly a crimson stain is spreading on the comforter underneath him. You run for the med kit, dumping it on the bed beside his prone form and digging out all the necessities.

He doesn’t flinch when you clean, close, and dress the wounds. Not even when you prick him with a bacta shot. You work as quickly and carefully as you can, keeping tabs on his breathing all the while. Any time you have a free hand, you rest it on his chest, soothed by the shallow but steady rise and fall. 

The whole time, you think about all those questions, those details, those secrets. You turn them over again and again in your head in a feverish loop—all those things you’ve been stacking on top of one another all this time, a teetering pile of essential pieces of him, ready to topple with a gentle nudge. Kept at bay by distractions and diversions and half-truths. All the ways you’ve both been keeping your relationship in stasis to postpone…what? Loss? Something that’s inevitable, something no one can ever truly prevent. It feels undeniable when your hands are covered in his blood. When you almost lost him anyway.

It seems obvious now. Obvious that in the end, it will be more painful to have only stayed in this place with him than to have at least tried to give yourself wholly to whatever this is.

Before you secure the final bandage over the wounds, you check your work once, twice—terrified the simple expansion of his ribcage as he breathes will force them open again. You press edges of the bandage down and watch closely, dreading the red seep of blood on clean white. It doesn’t come. You breathe a sigh of relief.

You clean him up with a moist towel, wiping the blood from his skin, his face, his rumpled hair. 

If he hadn’t chosen to take his helmet off before any of this, you’d feel like you were invading his privacy by being able to see so much of him. It still feels that way, just a little, as you admire the taut lines of his biceps, the broad spread of his shoulders, and thick muscles of his pectorals. As you gently swipe over the soft expanse of his middle, feel the hard abdominals underneath. As you study the slope of his nose and the grays threaded through his stubble, his long eyelashes fanned over his cheeks. The soft pink of his lips. 

You rinse that stained-red towel until the water runs clear, until there’s no trace of blood left on him. 

The bloodied sheets and blanket and pillow underneath him will have to wait; it doesn’t even occur to you to be bothered by them when you climb in next to him, when you sweep his damp hair back off his forehead and press your lips to his warm skin and settle against his non-injured side.

You fall asleep like that, your head on his sternum, the subtle rise and fall sweeter than a lullaby.

*** He’s healed by the morning.

He’s healed.

When you wake after a fitful sleep, you scramble out of bed to pull back his bandages and find that the wounds slashed across his ribs look like they’ve had several weeks to mend, the skin knitted back together seamlessly. You run your fingers gingerly over the tender flesh in wonder, in relief.

Another one of his secrets. Something else to ask.

He rouses at your touch, starting as he blinks open bleary eyes. He must be immediately aware of the absence of his helmet because his whole body tenses as he recoils, his eyes panicked as he tries to decide to attack or to flee, jerking away from your hand on his arm. 

“It’s okay,” you say, holding up your hands in placation. “It’s me, Din. It’s just me. You’re safe—you’re home.”

He calms somewhat as he meets your gaze, as he registers your face and his surroundings, settling his head back against the pillow. The tension in his body remains.

“How are you feeling?” you ask, resisting the urge to reach up and brush his tousled hair off his forehead. Touch, you think, is his to initiate in this moment.

“Fine,” he croaks. He’s visibly uncomfortable like this, still not used to being so unguarded around someone else. Holding eye contact for longer than a moment seems almost unbearable for him, his eyes shifting around the room so they don’t have to stay settled on yours. 

You hand him a glass of water, and he sits up against the headboard to drink it. He winces a little as he maneuvers, his jaw ticking. He’s sore.

“You’re the worst patient, you know,” you gripe, trying to lighten the mood, to give him something to focus on. 

He scoffs, lifting an eyebrow over the rim of the glass.

You give him an unimpressed glare. “I couldn’t take care of you until you fainted from blood loss.”

He has the audacity to shrug a little.

You blow out an exasperated breath, distracted, maybe, by the movement of his throat as he swallows. By every detail of his face that you can’t seem to memorize quickly enough—a privilege you’re more than willing to relinquish if it means easing the tension in his shoulders, the wrinkle of concern etched between his brows.

When he sets the glass down on the bedside table, you retrieve his helmet and offer it to him wordlessly, a show of nonjudgmental understanding, a willingness to back-pedal if that’s what he needs right now. His eyes soften when he takes it.

The urge to say something before he disappears behind beskar jumps up your throat.

“I was scared, so scared,” you admit quietly. “Din, I thought—I thought you…”

He sets his helmet beside him on the bed and jerks his chin. “Come here.”

You make to settle next to him, but he pulls you onto his lap instead, guiding you until you’re straddling his thighs. 

You try to wriggle away. “I’m going to hurt you like this—just let me—”

“Shhh,” he breathes, hands locking down on your hips. “I’m fine, okay? I’m not going anywhere.” He hesitates for the briefest moment before he leans forward and presses his mouth to yours.

His lips are soft, tentative. His first, you realize. Of course.

Your mind snags on the way he tends to be in bed—directive, commanding, sure—and holds the two up side by side. This hesitation, the halting press of his lips, has something in your chest going soft. Between your legs going molten.

You cup his jaw and lick into his mouth when his lips part—an it’s okay, I want you to take—and his breath goes ragged against yours. He leans into you, an arm slung low around your back to keep you close as he starts to tip you backward.

“Don’t move,” you say, attempting to ease him back gently.

He ignores the command, responding to your open mouth with the slip of his tongue.

“Or I’ll stop,” you threaten.

He sits back, chastened, a subtle pout to his lower lip. It disappears when you lean back in. 

He makes a low noise of protest when you don’t meet his lips, but it turns into something pleased when you move your attention to his neck. You lick over his thrumming pulse, across the faint saltiness of his flushed skin. Your hands roam the planes of his chest, over his pounding heart, and down the swells of his muscled arms—greedy for so much warm skin, for so much of him you’ve never seen or touched or tasted.

Even with the helmet set beside you, the fear that you’ll have to go back—to concede gained ground—that he’ll revert back to full armor again, rankles at the back of your mind. You dig your nails lightly into his shoulders, and he growls.

You can tell it’s taking all his restraint not to move, to keep totally still aside from his wandering hands. You know he’s hard underneath you, that he’s aching to wrest control from your hands, to put you on your back and fuck you like this, with no layers between you. And he knows you won’t let him when he’s still healing.

You try not to let it escalate, to keep things from getting out of hand. But then his mouth is on yours again, your lip caught gently between his teeth, his hand locked possessively around the nape of your neck, and you can’t help the quiet moan or the subtle grind of your hips in his lap.

Din jerks back, hands braced on your shoulders to keep distance between your bodies, his head tipped back against the headboard and eyes closed as his panted breath gradually slows.

And you know it’s not just the injury. He isn’t humoring you or in too much pain. He’s fighting it—the transformation, the change that keeps him in his beskar. What he wouldn't let you see in the forest.

“It doesn’t bother me,” you say—quiet, serious. 

He pauses, understanding despite the sharp turn. The energy in the room shifts as he waits for you to continue.

“Your…you—?” you stumble over the words, struggling to find the right ones. It comes out badly. “What you…are.”

His eyes are downcast, fixed on the silver shine of his helmet.

He doesn’t ask how. Of course you know—it’s an open secret between you, has been for months.

“I want to see,” you press. An honest plea. “To know. Just let it happen.”

A tight, subtle shake of his head. No.

“Please, Din,” you say, laying a hand on his chest. “Show me.”

He looks away, his eyes full of some unnameable emotion, something soft and fragile, a sharp edge that might be anger. He slips away so easily, even without the helmet.

“Please,” you beg, framing his face with your hands to guide his gaze gently back to yours.

He still won’t meet your eyes.

Suddenly, you know this was a mistake. That this is the thing that’s going to break what’s between you. He’s given you his face, his name—they should be enough. Yet, here you are, pushing him for more. There’s no coming back from it, no swallowing the words, though. You find you don’t want to anymore, even when you can feel him slipping out of your hands.

“It’s not safe,” he says.

“How? It’s you.”

“No,” he says, “it’s not.”

“I don’t understand, Din,” you say, a hint of desperation laced between your words. “And I need to. I need to understand. We can’t avoid it any more—look at what happened. I just—I can’t do this when I know I don’t have all of you. I can’t do this anymore. All these walls, all these secrets between us.”

His head snaps to you, a flicker of panic kindling in his eyes. But he doesn’t deny it, the skirting and avoidance, the game you’ve both been so willing to play. His eyes settle on your joined hands. 

“I want all of you. I need all of you. Can you understand that?”

“Yes,” he says, his voice low, and the panic in his eyes is swallowed by a deep, hollow want—a yawning blackness that expands and disappears so quickly you think you must have imagined it. “I do understand that.”

“Then let me see you.”

His brown eyes flick upward to meet yours, and he nods.

[deanbrainrotwritings]

— BLUEBIRD

REQUEST : “Would you be willing to write a Dean and Castiel 3some with female or nb reader? Kinda like a mix between sweet and rough with the guys. Thx in advance and I love your writing!!!” — @madzzz0797

PAIRING : castiel x nb!reader, dean winchester x nb!reader x castiel

CHARACTERS : none

WARNINGS/TAGS : explicit(18+), female anatomy, friends w/benefits, threesome MFM, fluff, Dean in sweatpants, oral sex, vaginal fingering, harddom!cas, sub!reader, softdom!dean, edging, a bit of voyeurism, overstimulation, degradation and praise 🤭, cum eating, cum play 

WORD COUNT : 3.5k

A/N : title from a christina perri song. hi, this was fun to write and thank you so much, i also needed something to restart my motivation 🤭. i think since i wrote this in 2nd POV the reader can be considered non-binary? I hope that’s okay 🫶🏻 i think this is more of a castiel x reader fic bc I've been wanting to write a fic about my angel LOL XX

You had no idea how you ended up in this situation.

You, Dean, and Cas were in the ‘Dean Cave’ watching a horror movie. 

At some point, you pissed Cas off when he said something about the movie was unrealistic. He’d get easily irritated at these movies, frustrated by the uselessness of the characters, or by the overpowering of the villain. You told him to shut up and Dean snorted at you, but Cas glared at you. 

His eyes were narrowed in your direction for a while--for saying that to him and because your comment made Dean laugh at him. Because you jumped at the opportunity to take jabs at him for critiquing the movies both your and Dean loved. Dean never said anything, but you said too much.

It was at the end of the movie when Cas pulled you onto his lap, his lips were everywhere. They were on your neck, biting your shoulder and leaving red marks on your throat. He ripped open the flimsy, buttoned top you were wearing and opened it, his large hands smoothed up the front of your body. Your nipples hardened at the coldness of the air within the concrete walls of the room. Cas’ warm hands held and kneaded your breasts, and from beside you, Dean stared at you with hooded eyes--aroused and surprised. 

You reached back and buried your fingers in Cas’ dark hair, grasping soft strands of his hair between your fingers. You could feel how hard he was under you. Wearing only some plaid shorts, you felt yourself get wet instantly when you circled your hips to feel some friction between your thighs, spreading your legs to feel him better. 

He pinched your nipples murmuring degrading words into your ear and shoved his hand inside your shorts, no underwear to stand in his way. His cold fingers touched the warmth between your legs, making you gasp in surprise, and squirm in his lap. 

“You’re more irritating than Dean,” Cas whispered huskily against your skin. You almost laughed, but you bit down on your lip, and grinned mischievously instead.

Dean palmed his cock over the black sweatpants he was wearing, staring at you as you arched your back, pushing your chest into Cas’ hands. Cas dipped his fingers into your entrance, gathering the slippery liquid of your arousal on his fingertips. You whined softly, whispered his name, begging him to touch you. Your clit throbbed, aching for attention but Cas ignored it and your words, creating a ‘v’ with his fingers slipping through your folds, grazing the sides of your clit. 

You looked to the side at your best friend, his teeth snagged his lip as he watched you, and his cheeks were coloured with a deep red blush that flared up to his ears.  

“You like when Dean watches you as I touch you?” Cas asked, nipping at your earlobe. Dean's eyes snapped up to your face, away from your wriggling hips and arching chest, watching you nod your head in response to Cas’ question. 

Cas removed his hands from your body, to push you off his lap. Your shorts rested haphazardly on your hips and you turned curiously as Cas shrugged the trench coat off his shoulders and started to loosen the tie around his neck. Your eyes darkened and you almost forgot to breathe.

“Sit down.” You did as Cas told you while biting your tongue to stop your snarky reply, and sat down on the armchair he was just sitting in. You rubbed your thighs together, staring up as Castiel slowly unbuttoned his shirt. He was teasing you on purpose, staring into your eyes assertively as he took his sweet time getting to the last few buttons on his white shirt. 

He kept the shirt on, opened up so you could see his tan skin and the taut muscles on his stomach. He only unbuckled his belt and popped the first button, slowly pulling the zipper down before getting down on his knees before you. 

Cas looked up at you indifferently and hooked his fingers into your shorts, pulling them down slowly. He trailed his lips up your thighs and then moved up to chase after the waistband of your shorts as he pulled them lower, pressing open mouth kisses at the exposed skin. Cas’ tongue dipped in between your folds to teasingly press against your clit, causing you to moan and roll your hips upward into his mouth.

Dean moaned softly, too, from beside you, so you turned to watch him curiously. His hand was hidden beneath his sweats, moving along his cock beneath unknown layers, watching you. It made you hornier, wetter, your clit pulsed at the sight of him and then at Cas between your legs. 

He grabbed your knees when your shorts were off, discarding them on the cold floor. Cas spread your legs and lifted them up so they draped over the arms of the chair, but you were a panting mess before he even touched you. 

You whispered Dean’s name, urging him to come to you. With a whine, he slipped his hand out of his pants and almost excitedly made his way over beside you, leaning down he captured your lips in a heated kiss. You gasped into his mouth, and Cas decided to dive into your pussy at that moment, too.

He was merciless, sucking your clit and grasping your hips to keep you still. An iron grip preventing you from moving against his warm mouth, but Dean tongue fucked your mouth into silence, rolling one of your nipples between his rough fingers. 

You placed your hands on Cas’ head, threading your fingers through the dark strands of his short hair. You didn’t tug too hard, knowing Cas would take it as you trying to take control from him, and he’d deny you an orgasm. 

Out of breath, Dean pulled away from you and then lowered his sweatpants and boxers down his thighs. You licked your lips, trying not to close your eyes so you could watch Dean touch himself, his pretty cock leaking precum at the tip. Your mouth watered at the sight of him and you moved forward while your eyes fluttered close, hoping Dean would come closer and put his dick in your mouth. 

He bunched the Henley up his chest and guided his cock into your waiting mouth. He teased you first by tracing your lips with the tip, leaving you mouth covered in a thin layer of his arousal. A shaky little breath from between your lips made him shiver, but the feel of his warmth parting your mouth made you moan around him instantly.

“Fuck, you’re so hot,” Dean gasped, gripping the hair at the top of your head once his cock slipped between your lips. 

Meanwhile, Cas rested his arm over your thighs rather than holding you down with two hands. With one hand free, his long fingers played with the wetness and saliva he left behind on your folds, getting them lathered up before pushing them inside your leaking cunt. 

Dean guided your mouth in his cock and you opened your eyes to watch him. His head was thrown back and his mouth was open, little gasps and moans of pleasure slipping out of him as he pushed your head onto him. You forced yourself forward, taking him deeper. A loud grunt vibrated through his chest and he praised you, unlike Cas. 

“That’s right, baby, take my cock all the way. Fuck.”

You knew if you spoke your snide thoughts Cas would leave you without an orgasm with Dean’s heavy cock in your mouth. The pleasure felt too good, you refused to say anything that would prevent you from reaching the ultimate high. Cas’ tongue felt amazing massaging your clit and his fingers were shoved deep inside of you, the pads of his fingers finding multiple sensitive spots that you couldn’t find otherwise with your own hands. 

Eventually, Dean had shoved his cock so far down your throat your nose would press against his soft skin. Your eyes watered as you became out of breath, gagging occasionally around him, but he seemed to enjoy it more. Your throat made a completely obscene sound and Dean sometimes pulled you off his dick to let you breath, edging himself. 

You opened your eyes to gaze at Dean. He heaved above you, his fingers gripping his shirt in place and your hair tightly, almost painfully. Even Cas moaned softly against your pussy, sucking your clit, or grazing the sensitive nerve with his teeth. You moaned loudly when you blinked tears away, your thighs twitching at the thought of being used completely by your two hot, best friends. 

“Are you going to orgasm already?” Cas murmured mockingly against your clit. You whined around Dean, who then pulled out of your mouth so you could respond to Cas. You let out a breathy ‘yes’ and moved one of your hands up to your breast and away from Cas’ now-messy hair, tweaking and pinching your nipple. 

Dean guided his cock back into your mouth and just then Cas said, “don’t let Dean cum yet.” Dean groaned in irritation and slowed down the bob of your head on his cock, his thighs tense and his stomach tightened. 

“Fuck,” Dean whispered, “just cum, sweetheart.” Cas looked up at you and he nodded his head in approval, signalling for you to orgasm. Your body became stiff at first and Dean removed his cock from your mouth as you moaned loudly. Dean slid his hands down your body, his touch intensifying your pleasure and you let go completely. Cas sucked loudly at your pussy as you shook, gasping his name.

You squirmed, trying to push him away, but he smirked, and continued to suck your swollen, sensitive clit. You cried out and whined, writhing, trying to get away, but he kept you in place. Dean chuckled at the sight of you and lifted his pants. He leaned back down, this time, to slip your nipple into his mouth, he lapped at it lewdly, left it coated in his saliva and sucked on it while pinching the other one softly. 

You whined when Cas found a new rhythm on your clit, his fingers pumped into you roughly, wet and loud. His saliva and your cum coated his fingers, dripping down to his palm and you came again, unexpectedly but less intensely than the first time. Dean moved away from you and bit his lip to look at you as you orgasmed for the second time within minutes after the first. 

You tried to relax as Cas trailed his wet lips down the inside of your thighs, soothing your restless body. You shut your legs as soon as he moved out from between them. His mouth was wet still, his lips dark pink and swollen, his hair a tousled mess. He cleaned it up with his shirt, lifting his shoulder to his mouth in two swipes. He watched you squeeze your thighs and rub them together in the armchair he usually sits in. 

“We’re not done with your, yet,” Cas told you flatly. You stared up at him, not knowing how to respond, especially as he lowered his black slacks and his boxers low enough to release his cock. Dropping your gaze down to his cock, your oversensitive clit throbbed and your pussy clenched around nothing. “Get up,” he ordered, then bit his lip as he thumbed the head of his cock, spreading the precum that dripped from the slit. 

You scrambled up off the armchair on shaky legs, thankful that Cas caught you with his arms around your waist to kiss you passionately. He hummed softly, tasting Dean on your tongue, and you moaned against his mouth, kissing him hungrily despite tasting yourself. He shoved the unbuttoned sleep shirt from your form and once it was on the floor, your hands slid down the front of his body, feeling the smoothness of his body, then moved up to brush against his nipples. 

Dean eventually found his place behind you, his hands mimicked yours. He dropped kisses along your shoulders and your back, both of his skilful hands cupping your breasts, teasingly ghosting his thumbs over your nipples. 

You couldn’t decide whether to grind back against Dean or rub yourself up against Cas. But Cas chose for you, the three of you moved smoothly, Cas spun you around so he could sit down. He pulled away from your lips and you were trapped in a daze when he did, trying to focus on what was going to happen next. 

“You’re a whore,” Cas said suddenly. It made your cheeks flare up and Dean's lips froze on your shoulder blade. “You’re letting both your friends use you for pleasure,” he stated bluntly, even while staring up at you, he still had more power than you could ever possess when you had sex with each other. “You like that, don’t you? Switching that mouth of yours between Dean’s cock and then mine?” Your eyes darkened with lust and you didn’t even deny it. His words made you more aroused than you already were and Dean must have known because he grabbed your hair and tugged on it to roughly bite down on your neck. “Spreading your legs and letting either one of us fuck you until you have an orgasm so intense you pass out? Over and over.” Dean smirked against your skin and laughed through his nose, which made you feel hotter and wetter. “How many times have you come to me to make you orgasm? How many times did you go to Dean when I wasn’t there?”

You were breathing heavily by the end of his speech, your knees felt weak and you were already considering getting down on your knees to suck him off when Castiel opened his mouth again to demand, “get down on your knees. Taste me, let me fuck your dirty, whore mouth.” Cas stopped jerking himself off to hold a silent conversation with Dean, tipping his head towards where his coat was. 

He was much nicer to Dean which irritated you. When you curiously looked away from Cas to watch what Dean was doing, you did it to make Cas angry, to tease him the way he’d done to you. Dean rifled through the pockets until he pulled out Castiel’s wallet, searching through cards, cropped photos, and a dry flower to pull out a square foil. A condom. 

“Awesome,” Dean announced with a grin, which made you smile.

Cas diverted your attention away from Dean with a yank of your hair. You whined and narrowed your eyes at him. He didn’t care, he smirked at you and shimmied his hips downward and pulled your face forward until you were close enough to his cock that he could tap your lips with the soft head. 

Your mouth watered quickly and your knees ached from the concrete beneath you.

“Hey, let me put this under you. The floor’s gonna hurt your knees.” You glanced at Dean, keeping Cas’ dick close enough to your mouth that he could continue playing with you. Dean brought Cas’ coat over to you, rolled up nicely and you let him place it where your knees were. 

Cas didn’t let you thank Dean, instead guided your mouth to wrap around the tip of his leaking cock. He controlled what you did and you willingly let him do what he wanted to your mouth. You salivated around him, sucking softly, licking the slit to taste everything that he had. 

“Ready?” Dean asked you. Having stripped off his own clothes to use it for his own knees, before slipping on the condom and settling behind you. You moaned wantonly in response, but Dean chose to tease you first. He slid his cock between your folds, rubbing against your clit with a moan. You whined around Cas’ cock, impatiently wiggling your ass so Dean could take you, but Cas shoved your face down all the way down his dick, muffling any other whines and moans. 

“You told me to shut up,” he told you breathlessly, “I’ll teach you to shut up with my cock in your mouth.” You whimpered quietly, tears stinging your eyes from how unexpectedly Cas was holding you down on him. You ached for Dean to fill you up, aroused as you felt Cas’ dick move down your throat, only to pull you up and then back down again.

“So wet,” Dean moaned softly, then moved to give you what you wanted. He slowly and gently pushed into your wet hole, unlike Cas. Dean’s thumbs brushed against your hips and he moved forward until he was buried into you as deeply as he could go. “You feel so good,” Dean continued to praise you, deviating from the harsh way Cas pushed your head down his cock. 

Soon, both of your friends were fucking you earnestly at both ends. Dean rolled his hips slowly and deeply, constantly hitting that perfect spot inside your walls with each thrust. He gripped your hips tightly but his sweet words eased your mind and soothed your ego as you pleased them both and let them please you.

You couldn’t focus on them separately. You could feel them everywhere, all at once. Dean's hands roamed, from squeezing and pulling at your tits, to rubbing your clit. You felt worshipped, even though Cas was being rough with his hands and harsh with his words. You could feel Dean throb inside your pussy, the same way Cas’ cock throbbed in your mouth. 

Cas’ grip on your hair didn’t let up, edging between pleasure and pain. The thought of the three of you coming at the same time aroused you. Without Cas’ guidance you sucked and took him down your throat enthusiastically. Despite the harsh words that he grunted at you when Dean went quiet to moan and pant.

You took Cas’ words as praise because you must be making him feel so good all he could think of were filthy things to throw at you. With his cock throbbing in your mouth and Dean’s throbbing in your tightening pussy, you moaned a warning of your orgasm. Dean picked up the pace, his fingers focusing on your clit, and Cas relaxed completely beneath you.

Your muffled cry made Cas cum and in turn, the flutter of your pussy around Dean drove him over the edge. Just as you wanted, the three of you moaned, gasped, and groaned in pleasure. Cas pulled out of your mouth, giving you only half of his release and then came on your lips, part of your face, and your chest. As soon as Dean pulled out of you, Cas moved you up into his lap, holding your face gently as he gathered his cum and made you eat it. 

You licked his fingers, swallowed the come he gathered from your skin, and scooted forward to rub yourself on his cock. “Still not satisfied?” He teased you, letting you suck and lick his fingers as you’d done to his dick. 

Dean discarded the condom and laughed boisterously from where he stood. You let go of Cas’ thumb to raise a brow at Dean, offended. 

“You can’t laugh at me when you get laid way more than I do,” you complained, crossing your arms over your chest.

“I haven’t had that much sex these past few years. That thing with the Amazons was scary,” Dean admitted, with a shrug and a tight smile. “Also, I dunno if you noticed but the end of the world constantly, almost happening, is such a boner-killer. And I’m only surrounded by you guys. I don't really have time to go out and chase tail in between killing monsters and then saving everyone.”

“What about that girl you're calling and texting?” You asked, confusion taking your mind away from Cas’ roaming hands. 

“Not official at all... It’s too complicated.” Dean turned away and started to gather his clothes. You figured he was hoping to change or avoid the subject by ignoring the two of you, by leaving before you could keep prying. 

“Dean’s too afraid to make a move. Even his mom likes her, which is far more intimidating to Dean because he thinks he’s going to ruin it the way he thinks he always does. And if his mom sees what he sees in himself, it’ll feel much worse,” Cas explained to you brusquely. You looked at Cas with a frown.

���Thanks, man,” Dean replied sarcastically. 

“You’re welcome,” Cas responded. You couldn’t tell if Cas was being witty or serious when he said that, but you snickered anyway. 

“Okay, I’m gonna shower and sleep, ‘cause I’m.. old. Have fun!” Dean almost ran out of the Dean Cave but he backtracked and made his way back to you. He pressed a long and affectionate kiss to your forehead and grinned down at you playfully. You smiled and watched him leave, sexy and still naked with his clothes in his arms.

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