#body horror for reals tho if you're curious about it

[faejilly]

you ever mean to read a book but don't get around to it for awhile (because life the universe & everything)

so finally you manage to read it and you're just

MAD

because it is so exactly your sort of thing and you knew that going in but you still didn't read it and you could have had this story in your head for YEARS (ish? when the fuck was this thing published, time is lie, whatever) but instead you've only got it now

but at least you have it now,

so you're not really mad anymore

(but you're still a little mad, hvdu write this good a book specifically aimed at my id, I'm glaring at you very much in particular author who is on tumblr but I'm not going to tag because idk that seems rude)

[weebsinstash]

When I say with my entire being in my heart of hearts that I know with certainty that this-this-this THING right here would do the absolute most unbelievable petty gross obsessive dahmer level shit to you

He's petty he's evil he's got a childlike fascination for seeing what breaks people down and I hate him I hate him I hate him but ALSO what that dick do tho? 🤔

Mahito is the yandere over here doing shit like imprisoning you for his own selfishness and perhaps genuine affection but making you live in absolute deplorable conditions because He's Not Fucking Human And He Doesn't Even Know How To Feed You. He locks you away and disappears for an entire day and comes back with like a single can of wet dog food that he watches you eat from a squatting position like 5 inches away looking at you like Harley Quinn and the egg sandwich. Motherfucker would take all your clothes because he wants to see more of "the natural shape of you" and then doesn't understand why you start shivering. Or he deliberately keeps you like that because he wants to see how long it takes you to crack and beg him for help. He wants to see the depths of your pride as you refuse to grovel, curious of the lengths you'll go, the limits of your body against the chill

This depraved fuck will do dehumanizing little emotional experiments on you where he does shit just because he wants to see how you think and feel and what you'll do and I mean like he'll do SOME REAL SHIT. I'm talking maybe he's stalking you and you can't fight or use cursed techniques and you think he's just like, a human shaped spirit or something who's just a trickster, he's not being violent or getting you alone or anything yet, and then you come home to your apartment one day and he's literally disemboweled your cat on your coffee table and he's playing with pieces of it and says you were giving it more attention than him and sits there pouting as you scream and even tries to like touch you or hold your hand or hug you with. The fucking blood covered hands. like he would be so fucked up on purpose, "awww do you need me to hold you? You're so sensitive but i dont mind :3"

This man out here like "wdym you want me to stay away from you, all I did was kill your cat kill your mom kill your neighbor kill your best friend kill your boss' cousins' landlords' newborn baby BUT WAS THAT REALLY SO BAD 🥺" and does something infinitely worse to scare/coerce you into tolerating his presence

I'm not really uh into body horror or gore but as a side detail I feel like. Uh. There's like a legitimate risk of him actually unintentionally REALLY hurting you and has to use his powers to heal you. Like the one good thing he does is if he were to have you on death's door or like horribly injured he could just. Fix it. He twists a limb in a way he doesn't know it's not supposed to go and breaks it and then puts you back together like a broken toy while ooo'ing and aaa'ing at the way your skin stretches over the grotesque misalignment. Dare I say the horror of "him putting things that are way too big or weirdly shaped in you" also yeah he's one of the things he's putting in you and he's got a really gross like fascination with learning all about that stuff

He's really living just to see how many different ways he can make you cry and how many different emotions he can get you to display, just absolutely dedicated to terrorizing you while also chasing his own internal weird repressed desire for his own sort of belonging. You could be sitting there sobbing and he's either borderline getting off on it or he's standing there MAKING FUN OF YOUR CRIES like deadass even fake crying back to you

And the worst part is he'll do all this fucking shit to you and then the night comes and he'll still be over here like "and you'll let me cuddle you while you sleep right? 👉👈" and he'll be doing that Every. Single. Night. And what are you gonna do, try and kill yourself? Have fun risking accidentally making yourself a Curse and being stuck with him basically FOREVER

[lagomort]

now im like curious about your shido opinions you really wrote like a WHOLE tag essay

Ok. So here's the thing.

I have this thing in my life where my favourite character from a media property is not always like... my choice. It just kind of happens to me over time while I try to scrabble away like an insect in an antlion trap. Loser ass pathetic Masayoshi Shido happened to me and every day I suffer for it (but also have a really good time).

I would say Akechi and Ren are about on par with him though so I can be spared SOME shame for my evils.

But what really makes me think about Shido is the concept of a change of heart. By nature of the game we don't really see people post change of heart, excluding Futaba. There's usually an apology scene (or in Shido's case also a scene where you watch him cry his ass off while everyone else in the room ignores him which is both mildly sad and majorly hilarious) and then they disappear from the narrative. Maybe a mention or two of how they're having a bad time.

And it makes sense! They aren't the focus of the story. They are the rotten adults and they got their comeuppance. You see them again briefly in Mementos but, like everyone else down there, they are being twisted by Yaldabaoth. You can't really say that's who they are post change of heart. It's a distortion. They essentially have another palace, in a way.

We see Futaba post change of heart, but in her case her distortion wasn't really a fundamental building block of her personality. It was the result of external pressures that made her anxiety and self-hatred intensify, but she herself did not make that distortion through her own actions. Her distortion was the result of the pain and suffering others brought her through no fault of her own, and she never externalised that suffering by making others suffer. Even her shadow's hostility is mild. Her palace is the only one where you go inside it and you're not initially seen as an enemy, after all.

The evil palace rulers, though? They cooked that stuff up all on their own. There's cut content suggesting how most of the palace rulers turned out like they were, but the difference is they were the agents of their own distortions. Even if people defended and enabled Kamoshida, for example, he wasn't made to be that way. He decided to see women as objects. He decided to act on bad impulses.

So when their hearts are changed, people whose fundamental building blocks have been knocked down like a Jenga tower, is the person who walks away from that still even the same person anymore?

In Shido's case, his pride is so enormous it swallows Tokyo. It intends to swallow the world. It is what makes up the fabric of who he is from toe to tip. Every action he takes in the story is born of that pride. Suing Ren for embarrassing him. Using and abusing Akechi. The way he treats his subordinates, treats the police, treats people who would oppose him. The world exists to serve Masayoshi Shido.

If you take something so fundamental away from a man so steeped in it, what is left afterwards? Who is that man? When you put that man in prison (and prison in Japan is nothing but godawful human rights violations, but that's another topic), are you punishing someone for the actions of a completely different person?

I like to think the answer to that last question is kind of yes.

A change of heart isn't something that can happen in the real world. People can change their own minds, but to unwillingly have the most prominent aspect of yourself stripped away is something else entirely. Men like Shido in the real world do not get better and they do not change, because they don't want to. But in fiction? Hoo boy.

Imagine one day you wake up and you don't understand the person you were yesterday. It's like you're in the body of a total stranger. How frightening is that? How could that not be a kind of deep eldritch horror? How could I not be completely insane about it?

I don't do it with any of the other palace rulers though. I don't like them. Sorry to all Okumura enjoyers or whatever.

The thing about Shido is there's a plot point in the game which is literally that no one knows anything about him (which makes sense, his popularity is a distortion). He is a one dimensional guy. A piece of wood with an angry face on it. So you can do anything with him.

Here, I'll show you.

What was his family like? Pre-change of heart he's basically just a carbon copy of his dipshit parents.

Is he actually bald or is it a choice? Choice. He went grey in his late teens and was so embarrassed he shaves that shit down shiny bald which is, honestly, way more embarrassing. Just utter loser behaviour. I have him grow it again in art I draw of him post change of heart (send an ask if you want to see that, I designed his dumb ass a persona and a metaverse outfit) purely because I hate drawing bald heads. I've failed the 'be honest about his hairline' contingent for the first time ever. I'm sorry women

What is he like post change of heart? Complicated, but does intend to do the right thing. I feel like he develops a whole nother palace because Japanese prison + basically coming into existence at 53 years old after being The Worst Person Ever is one hell of a thing.

Also I made him bisexual. No more questions at this time.

[is-very-sad]

hello there! I've recently been reading your sagau X obeyme posts (they're great btw) and with the recent one about Diavolo and Barbatos I've been curious about how they would react if they were the first ones to get to y/n in the villain au over the brothers I mean I doubt it's any less bloody either way

Mentions of demonic demons, death, you probably get the picture! (Nothing in depth tho)

Now, Barbatos is the calm one, so he'll probably stay by your side like glue. He'll do his best to suppress his murderous aura for you. Talking to him about something unrelated to the situation might be a good idea if you're uncomfortable.

Diavolo however, well your the best friend (and more?) That he's had in a long time. Who are we kidding, you're the first real friend he's had and the only person he's ever seen as more than an undesired suitor. He'll go about this one of two ways:

Option one is that you're not very wrathful and just want to go home. This will result in him simply wiping the three nations off the face of this earth. He made an artificial sun for his beach he can wipe them like nuke blasts, then you leave, where your statues like crumble to dust or something bc you left and didn't forgive the people and they slowly learn with mounting horror what they did wrong.

Option two is that is that you are still pissed, where he'll make a personal hell for each archon and national leader, magic keeping them alive for more torture than their bodies could handle normally. He'll bring an army to properly loot the cities for your gain later. Just, say the word and he'll do whatever makes you feel best alright? Please let him do something to them or he'll feel like he failed you

Either way, if the characters end up having "souls" they'll be snatched to the castle dungeons where he, Barbatos, and the brothers take turns torturing them for all eternity.

[rnegitsune]

Ok so I thought I'd put together some horror stories from my time as a babymetal fan bc of how drastic the shift in the fandom has been the past year or so. For context I got into babymetal in like june of 2014 (all 3 girls were still underage at the time, I was 22; when I first got into them I thought I would be considered an older fan lmao the naivete, the innocence of new fan me wow I know now I'm not at all in the older half of the fandom esp considering I was born the same decade as su and moa), and I made this blog in I think may of 2015.

I've had people say I should compile men being gross into a post and I just couldn't do that out of fear for my own mental health but this will be pretty close. These are all my experiences with this fandom over the years; I'm definitely missing some but what I do remember should do well to cover most of how this fandom used to be vs now. It's gonna be a lot and tw for men being gross about minors.

Back in my first year or so of this blog I on multiple occasions got dms from men asking to be friends. At the time my bio only said my name and my pronouns. I've always been cautious of dms so I'd ask their age and every single one was considerably older than me. I wouldn't usually answer after that bc no thanks but they would generally try to continue convos til I blocked. The only one I still had was this one

After I put my age in my bio, which was 23 at the time, I never got a dm like that again; take from that what you will. But if you're young please be wary of this hell fandom even now. And if you're an older fan and esp an older male fan reading this, don't dm people trying to be friends. I was over 18 and it still creeped me out to no end.

One of my real first men in this fandom are disgusting moments was a blog back in like 2015 or 2016 who I had some contact with due to common interests; he was a huge yui stan and made bm content. He was like 28 or 29 at the time and I eventually noticed he would tag idols, mostly kpop girls, by their body parts (legs, butt, etc) which is disgusting enough as it is but then I saw him do the same for literal minors, like tzuyu from twice. I messaged him asking what the hell he was doing objectifying women but also actual children and he blocked me lmao. He later unblocked me to let me know that's just how he tagged things and it was my fault he had anxiety and then he blocked me again.

Back before the tumblr purge this fandom was repulsive to a degree I cannot even begin to describe. Someone would reblog something from me, I'd go to their blog and it would be underage jpop idols and japanese p*rn all the way down. I even stumbled upon a man editing underage su into p*rn gifs. Obviously no proof of that but I did go find my initial reaction to it

The number of times I'd get a follow from someone then go to their blog and it would be as mentioned above or their bio would be the most misogynistic trash I'd ever read was staggering. I genuinely considered giving up and deleting this blog so many times bc i felt oberwhelmed and outnumbered by these gross old dudes; and so the fact that this fandom has evolved into a bunch of chaotic wlw?? Amazing, I could cry.

Fun phenomenon of women running bm blogs was men sending messages asking if we liked babymetal. No joke. I think this happened to me two or three times but I spoke w other female creators at the time and it had happened to them as well. My entire blog is babymetal, and yet???

He said the weird guy idk bc he sent some random ass messages vaguely insulting me and when I responded coldly, he acted confused so I said you're some guy idk, hence the above message starting as such. Also that pic and the one up above that has my current pfp bc I just took those screenshots. Like I said I typically blocked weird dms but I guess these passed me by so I still had the messages.

Most people know the sub reddit is the worst and don't need me to tell you but it's a hellscape and I highly recommend avoiding it. A short list of things I've had to see as a result of going there: men discussing at length kano and momoko's appearances and how they look in costume vs in normal clothes. Men discussing at length the hope that the girls would marry men who aren't Japanese, a thread that was from when all 3 girls were underage. They aren't gonna marry you dude they're really not.

The insulting of billie Eilish, a 17 year old at the time, was horrible too. Su and moa got to meet her, something they were extremely excited for, and they posted a pic; the comments were disgusting as you can imagine. The yui rumors were terrible too, fatshaming, slutshaming etc all based on nothing. Some man saying the rumors about yui leaving bc, no joke this was a real rumor, she "got too fat" couldn't be true bc "look at saya." Saya being a barely 18 yo back up dancer who covered the third spot after yui left but before the avengers. Not to mention the upskirt shots from when they were minors, the constant editing of their faces onto explicit photoshoots etc. I remember being a new fan looking for a su pic on google and being horrified at the fact that one of the top suggested results after her name was “bikini;” she was 16 at the time. Also, the uptick in massively creepy posts and messages sent to bm blogs as each girl, but esp moa and yui, approached 18 was disgusting.

Now for some personal nonsense. A big reason why I haven't touched my youtube channel in months is bc I got tired of dealing with the men of this fandom. I poke fun at metal and get told I deserve to die. I say ped*philes and creepy men are gross and get a swarm of middle aged men cursing at me. Had a guy cry about how men are shamed for liking bm and then he turned around and said some gross shit about wlw. Had a guy call me racist for liking a band he also likes (and despite him having no way of knowing my own race) and tell me the babymetal fandom doesn't need my kpop feminist bullshit, which is honestly a great description and I thought about putting it in my yt about lmao. Had a middle aged man unironically say he'd never seen a man be creepy towards bm but fans su and moa's ages calling them hot was creepy. The disillusionment....the level of unawareness is astounding. If you want to see screenshots of some of these comments they are fairly recent in my don't mind me tag; I don't want to see them anymore tho bc they're infuriating so I'm not going to look at them to post here.

Essentially I haven't looked at my channel since may bc men are exhausting and rude and refuse to examine the fandoms they're a part of no matter what. They're told by a woman of the fandom that she's had bad experiences personally and they all start crying about how it's either a lie bc they haven't seen it or unimportant. I did stop reading comments in may and I will never read another one again probably as a result of this shit. Trash men being trash are not worth my time and I refuse to give them anymore of it. I do plan on making more videos tho and let my ~feminist kpop bullshit~ live in their minds rent free.

I will also continue to make fun of metal and the creepy men in this fandom bc it's important and I'm a spiteful asshole who likes disrupting these dudes perfect bubble of a fandom. It genuinely brings me so much joy seeing all the new fans recently (which sidenote if you got into them recently I am kinda curious as to how you found them; I've gotten tons of new followers and considering how inactive they are rn I'm curious). People sending messages about how they finally feel like they belong or that they have a safe space....like I don't even know what to say and I never feel like my responses fully convey how genuinely wonderful that is and how thrilled I am that this is where we're at now and I have had at least some part in it. As this post shows, my experiences have been negative for the most part so the shift recently is such a relief I cannot even begin to explain my gratitude.

So to anyone who read all of this and hasn't disintegrated from the male bullshit, thank you. Keep being yourself and fighting for your place in this fandom, esp if you're a young woman; keep making fun of the creeps and keep making wlw memes!! Babymetal's music is in such a huge way meant for girls and to see more and more finding their way to this previously hellish beyond belief fandom is incredible.