#bloody confusing gender stuff

[world0fmadness]

HONEY HAMILTON

lewis hamilton x wife! reader x ( platonic! ) oc daughter

♡ how winnie hamilton / honey came to be!

୨୧ just some really fluffy girl dad stuff with lewis <3

♡ related smau available here, related hc available here and here | view my formula 1 masterlist here

reading music recommendations: no moon at all by julie london - oceans by new navy

♡ you found out you were pregnant right around christmas time!

୨୧ to say you were excited to tell lewis would be an understatement…

♡ you were practically bouncing off the walls, thinking of cute ways to tell him! he noticed how smiley you were but didn’t comment on it, figuring you were just excited for christmas

୨୧ you decide to wait until christmas day to tell him, preparing a little box with a miniature version of lewis’ race suit inside reading “ mini hamilton ” on the back, wrapping it and placing it under the tree when you were happy

♡ eventually, christmas rolls around and you tell him to please leave that gift for the last! he’s a little confused but thinks it’s just something really good ( oh yeah, it is )

୨୧ when he finally gets around to it, unwraps it and opens the box… he thinks it’s a little outfit for roscoe at first but when he really pulls it out and looks at it, you can see the gears turning in his head, the exact moment it clicks and his brown eyes light up like the sparkling lights wrapped around your christmas tree

“ are you serious? oh my god… bloody hell, i thought it was for roscoe… c’mere love ” ( you spend at least five minutes just hugging on the floor while he tells you this is the greatest christmas gift he’d ever received )

♡ when you guys tell the other drivers, they’re all so happy for you! they quickly decide between themselves that there can only be one favourite uncle…

୨୧ this leads to way too many gifts, some things that the baby won’t even be able to use until they’re older!

♡ though it does make you and lewis laugh when you walk into the paddock and are immediately bombarded by drivers giving you wrapped gifts

୨୧ george decides he won after he bought a custom made mini replica of lewis’ race car ( you think he won too, i mean it’s just too cute and unique )

♡ lewis is just the absolute best when it comes to you being pregnant, he sort of really wishes you’d sit on the couch with your feet up and a drink in your hand while he paints your nails but if you feel sad just sitting around constantly, he’ll gladly go on walks with you and roscoe around the countryside

୨୧ once on one of these walks, your foot made a weird movement and almost twisted but he caught you as soon as it happened… he swears he felt his heart stop beating in his chest!

♡ when you find out you’re having a girl, lewis is over the moon! he’d be happy with any gender but he can’t wait to have a little girl and do her hair and spoil her rotten and play barbies with her…

୨୧ you both have a little cry in the car outside of the clinic, just so happy to know your baby is healthy and you’re getting a girl… the crying doesn’t last long though, soon enough you’re craving a milkshake with french fries and ask lewis to grab some takeout on the way home

♡ when you’re giving birth, lewis just feels terrible… he can’t handle seeing you in so much pain :(

୨୧ but he comforts you the best he can, drawing patterns on the back of your hand while you almost break his

♡ when you finally give birth, lewis starts crying right along with his baby’s first cry

୨୧ when he does skin to skin, you ogle him from the hospital bed which he quickly takes note of and sends a cheeky wink over to you

“ careful with your eyes love, we don’t need you getting pregnant again just yet… ” ( you roll your eyes but can’t help the smile that spreads across your face )

♡ the absolute hardest thing lewis has ever had to go through was winnie’s teething process…

୨୧ he was a MESS! he didn’t know how to cope

♡ he absolutely hated seeing his sweet little baby winnie in so much pain, knowing there was nothing he could do to help her except keep giving her the ice teething toys :(

“ awh, winnie, i’m sorry, i know it hurts honey, i know… you’re being so strong though hm? my brave girl ” ( you’d make sure to give him lots of reassurance that he’s doing the best he can to help her through it )

୨୧ unsurprisingly, winnie’s favourite cartoon turns out to be winnie the pooh!

♡ she watches it religiously with lewis, constantly letting out airy giggles around her bottle while lewis admires her with nothing but love in his eyes

୨୧ he nicknamed her honey because… well… y’know, winnie the pooh loves honey and she’s as sweet as honey ( not to mention she got his beautiful eyes, brown but almost golden, like a pot of honey ) he thinks it’s pretty straight forward <3

♡ sebastian is a HUGE fan of the nickname, he thinks it’s just adorable and calls her honey bee whenever he comes to visit! he’s her favourite uncle for sure, you guys have trouble getting her out of his arms, she sticks to him… sticks to him like honey <3

୨୧ everytime lewis is abroad for a race, he goes into the city to buy her a new plushie!

♡ it became a ritual between them super early in winnie’s life, he felt horrible for having to leave her for races so he’d bring back a plushie that made him think of her to make up for it and she’d have a piece of him at home whenever he left again

୨୧ her room is absolutely full to the brim with plushies now… she has shelves lining her walls to showcase them! there are at least ten winnie the pooh plushies

♡ when she’s old enough to come abroad to races with him, you do take her! the plushie collecting doesn’t stop there though, he just takes her with him to the stores to pick her own plushie!

୨୧ her absolute favourite places to go are countries with big beaches

♡ she’s a major beach baby! when you took her to a beach for the first time, she was super freaked out by how the sand felt and lewis thought it was adorable… holding her hands and standing her on the warm sand while you cheered her on and recorded from the side

୨୧ but when she got over how different the sand felt and sat down on a towel, she couldn’t stop picking up sand in her tiny chubby hands and watching it fall through the cracks of her fingers

♡ she thinks roscoe on the beach is just the funniest thing ever too, constantly giggling while he attempts to dig a whole in the sand, her happiness only adding to yours and lewis’

୨୧ whenever she brings him little seashells she’s collected, he keeps them! usually he’ll get them made into super nice necklaces or bracelets or just collect a big handful of them and you guys will make it into a cute little art piece to put on the wall <3

♡ he kind of keeps ANYTHING she gives him…

୨୧ if his winnie gave it to him, there’s no way he’s putting it in the bin! piece of string? thank you honey! rock from the driveway? how thoughtful!

♡ all of the random things he’s collected over her toddler years are stored in a big jar that sits on his desk

୨୧ because of how much winnie loves the beach, you and lewis made the decision to move into a house in a beach town!

♡ with the beach basically being in your backyard, you can never get winnie off the beach now… same goes for lewis

୨୧ you’ll walk out of the back door and spot them sitting on a towel together

♡ usually making a sand castle or lewis covering her lower body in sand, moulding it to make her look like a mermaid and taking pictures <3 lewis usually spots you and calls you over

୨୧ christmas time is extremely special to you and lewis since you found out about your little winnie’s existence near christmas and he found out on christmas day!

♡ so you guys go all out for her first christmas! he gets the biggest, most beautiful tree and you decide to make it winnie themed! the ornaments consisting of custom made porcelain winnie the pooh characters and tiny photo frames showcasing pictures from all different times in your relationship… roscoe lays sleeping on the couch in a little reindeer costume

୨୧ lewis holds her on his hip, leaning her up gently and letting her place almost all of them on whilst you take pictures before joining them

♡ when christmas day rolls around, you spend almost the whole day in your pyjamas, relaxing in front of the fireplace! only getting dressed when you go to visit lewis’ parents house for christmas dinner <3 winnie gets dressed up in the cutest little velvet red and black dress with bow in her hair, matching you, whilst lewis wears a sleek but comfy outfit going by the same colour scheme! safe to say his parents were big fans of winnie’s outfit, cooing at her the entire time you were there

୨୧ when the day rolls into night, you guys are home and winnie is put to bed, you and lewis stay on the couch for a bit… just cuddled up with roscoe by your feet, eventually you feel his eyes on you and ask him if he’s okay

“ am i okay? i’m amazing love… just can’t believe i’m here, with winnie and you… i love it, i love you and her so much, you know that? ” ( the soft kisses he placed on your lips after were so full of love, so full of admiration… he was just so content )

♡ you and lewis decided this was the best christmas you’d ever had, just barely beating last christmas because winnie is actually in your arms now

୨୧ lewis and winnie are ALWAYS making you breakfast in bed!

♡ well, lewis is always making you breakfast in bed… winnie is usually just sitting in her high chair at the breakfast counter, letting out high pitched giggles at the mere sight of roscoe trudging around below her feet, lewis leaning over and feeding her tiny pieces of fruit every couple of minutes

“ good strawberry, winnie? yeah? thank you honey, my little food critic ”

୨୧ lewis eventually gets a little tattoo of a honey pot on his upper chest, just above his heart… he says he wanted something that symbolised his love for his honey <3 something that would always make his honey close to his heart…

♡ and close to his heart she is…

lewishamilton and ynln: winnie’s first christmas, filled with nothing but love and presents for our honey 🍯 🎄 🎁

georgerussell ✔️: did she like my present?! i put a lot of thought into it

> lewishamilton ✔️: yeah, she loved it mate! thanks again, yn says thanks as well

> georgerussell ✔️: only the best for my niece 💪

lewynforever: oh my god… she’s getting so big already

> f1lover: right? i remember when they posted that they were expecting a baby 🥹

> lewynforever: time flies…

sebastianvettel ✔️: sending lots of love to you guys and your little honey bee! have a good christmas lewis and yn - sebastian ❤️

> ynln: thank you sebastian! sending many kisses from honey, merry christmas ❤️

[hiorintruther]

I think hiorin is absolutely winning right now with the Egoist Bible. First of all, you can make a solid argument that Rin fits Hiori’s ideal type, the thing that makes Hiori happy, AND Hiori’s fetish. (Note: while his fetish uses a woman as reference, his ideal type is gender neutral and he said he received chocolate from a guy on Valentine’s Day while specifying that he rejected a girl in the year above him, so any ‘straight Hiori’ arguments mean nothing to me).

Hiori’s ideal type is “someone who can leave me alone”, which fits Rin absolutely perfectly. Rin wouldn’t be clingy, needy, overbearing or smothering. That’s exactly what Hiori wants in a partner. Of course they would still be intimate, it’s not like Hiori would want to be alone 100% of the time, but he wants someone who knows to take a step back and let him have his space when he wants it.

Likewise, the thing that makes Hiori happiest is “being left alone”. Once again, Rin would not be constantly hovering around Hiori, needing Hiori’s attention or getting upset when Hiori doesn’t smother him with love.

Hiori’s fetish is “fractured girl fetish”, which everyone is still a bit confused by but it seems to be referring to seeing injuries that are bandaged up (he specifically references the actress Todo Erika in SPEC, where she wears her arm in a sling and cast). It’s a bit fucked up (not to kink-shame) but then again Hiori is a self-described ultra-sadist so I’m honestly not surprised at all. Now then, out of everyone in Blue Lock, who have we seen get injured multiple times and need to be tended to? Rin. Not only that, but Rin’s predisposition to violence and getting hurt is a part of his truest nature. He was scolded and considered weird for it in his childhood and would become nervous if his parents were about to tell him off for his destructive tendencies. So imagine Hiori, someone who categorically does not mind that Rin is this way, wants to help bandage him up and tend to his injuries, and never once scolds him. We know from the U-20 match that Hiori’s first instinct is to ask Rin if he’s alright and help him, but now there’s the added layer that Hiori would enjoy seeing this side of Rin, not being weirded out or put off by it. I think for Rin that would be a massive relief. Hiori wouldn’t be actively trying to hurt Rin or encourage him to get injured all the time, but he would accept Rin for the way he is and never be disappointed if Rin turned up bloodied and battered, in need of bandaging up.

We also got other info which I think can be used for hiorin too. Hiori is now a confirmed Dead By Daylight player, and since that’s a multiplayer horror game I think he would enjoy playing it with Rin (who as far as we can tell only plays horror games). Specifically, Hiori likes to play the killer, so Rin would get the thrill of fighting for his life even if it destroys him while Hiori gets an outlet for his own sadistic mindset.

In the character rankings, Rin and Hiori were ranked 1st and 2nd respectively for who would most likely have psychic powers. Hiori also ranked first for ‘best listener’ meanwhile Rin ranked first for ‘worst listener’. Rin might be hard to get along with but Hiori is the immovable object to Rin’s unstoppable force.

Then of course there’s the stuff we already knew from the Twitter QnAs. Hiori and Rin both love ochazuke. They both game. Hiori’s favourite season is the rainy season which nicely compliments Rin’s connection to water.

Honestly we have so much fuel to work with. Hiorin doesn’t get a lot of canon material at all in the main manga so it’s nice that the extra info provides so much fuel. I doubt any of it is intentional but we have a really nice basis to work with regardless.

[thesharktanksdriver]

A wish for a happy life (romantic)

The Readers gender I’ve tried to leave ambiguous

This is being made when there’s only 4 episodes out (and I haven’t yet seen them all) so there may be inaccuracies to stuff later revealed but who cares!

I got inspiration to write this after seeing @ice-cream-writes-stuff bucchigiri fic that you can find here. Please check it out

There need to be more fanfics for this show pleaseeeeee 🙏🏻

To say you were a handful as a child was an understatement

From the moment you could remember anything your knuckles were always bruised and bloodied

Bruises littering your arms like medals of a successfully won fight

Tousled hair and busted lips

Glowering and prideful eyes daring someone to be next

Fighting was almost as natural as breathing to you back then

Speaking with your fists to get across the message of not being messed with as playground bullies ran off

Violence was all you knew as a way to get attention

Crying and begging for the orphanage attendants or preschool teachers to listen was for naught

They brushed it off

Crying was white noise

But the yelling and sounds of an arm being broken on school property was heard loud and clear

On all accounts you should’ve ended up as a delinquent

For hells sake you even started a gang at some point

On all accounts you were Someone on the “wrong” path in life fated to be some lowlife scum

It was expected of you by just about every grown up

Even looking at yourself in the mirror, busted and broken you knew how you’d likely end up

You didn’t want that but what choice did you have?

You wanted to be loved, to be seen, to have a happy life

But fate didn’t seem to have that cut out for you

…at first

But despite it all

You changed

And it all started with a woman own a small Chinese restaurant and her son

Despite your track record

The scornful look on your lips and gritted teeth as the other children lined up to be picked as you sat off to the side

That kind woman and her son saw you

The kid off to the side

The unwanted

The “trouble child”

And despite the fact they should’ve picked one of the more well behaved kids they chose you

Arajin often talks about the look on your face that day

The pure disbelief

Shock

Confusion

And most of all the tears

The expression of finally being seen for the first time in your life without having to quite literally pummeling it into someone

Your expression remained that when they brought you home

A room already made for you and left for you to eventually decorate how you want

That night laying in your new bed you vowed you’d change

You’d put your life on track

Not only for yourself but for your new family

Arajin (platonic)

Arajin can removed with a whole heart the first time he met you

It was before bringing you into the family

He was training with Matakara at the time as some older kids from some gang showed up

They were probably gonna rough them up

Arajin was ready to fight when suddenly someone beat them to the punch

“Oi! You fucking meatheads I told you to leave civ’s alone!” You stood there, a scowl on your face as the others cowered. Your eyes turned to him and Matakara, sympathy flashing through the hardened eyes of steel and diamond. The unspoken words of “I’m sorry” in them.

After that he saw you around town

Never going up to you but watching in curiosity

Maybe once upon a time he’d see you like any other punk

But that day changed something

There was compassion in your eyes

Even compassion in the way you seemed to fight for others without admitting it

He could see at heart you were a good person

Someone who fought for others because no one fought for them

He didn’t know why you did what you did until he and mom ended up at that orphanage

And in the back he saw you there

To the side with a resented sadness

Knowing you would never be picked

Never be loved

Never have a good life

His eyes connected with yours and he swears he sees them widen in that moment

You were seen

You were chosen

You could have a good life now

That night he remembers your silent sobs of joy in the next room over

The next morning he design comment on your reddened eyes and neither does mom

Both just focus on how you eat with a smile

Still a little jittery as if wondering if this was real

He pats your shoulder to remind you it is

In the months following he can’t help but smile when noticing your room grow with things of your interest

The way you seem to find clothes that properly fit you

The way in which you talk with him while cooking with mom

You grow with him

Hang out with Matakara who welcomes you with open arms

When he becomes interested in base you save up your buy him one for his birthday and when it comes yours he does the same bit with a drum set

In every way possible Arajin sees you change for the better

Perhaps your temper never went away but you know how to handle it now

Use it for good

Use it without lashing out wildly

He sees that you help mom out, call her mom too

You call him Ara, call him your brother

In every way possible you look out for him as best you can

When he looses his old physique and dream you take the place of protector instead

No matter the situation you step up for him even if his idiotic actions lead to his ass being beaten

You love him like he’s actually your brother

And he loves you the same

When moving back to the graffiti covered hometown you both were born in he can’t help but see your nervous

It’s easy to tell for him since he sees past your stoic facade

Your hands fidget

Eyes glancing from place to place

Breath getting heavy

When your shared teacher talks about the class he sees your hands fidget once more

For so long you’ve protected him

And in the moment your both in front of the class he protect you

He introduces you by his nickname for you

Your stoic face breaking a little with gratitude before he immediately sits down beside a cute girl in the back of the class

You aren’t surprised, damn horny teenage boys

The sentiment of what he did thought resonates with you though

Much more than you’d ever admit to your stupid little sleez of brother

That girl he’s looking at with goo goo eyes is trouble (also vaguely familiar)

But you’d be damned if he’d get his asskicked if you weren’t there to save him

…….later on when he ends up in a temple almost completely naked and ends up shooting both himself and you with two old ass guns you almost give him the ass kicking of the century

But fortunately for him you don’t

But unfortunately for the both of you two beings appear instead

“Ara, when we get home I’m kicking you in the ass for shooting me in the stomach”

“Just don’t kill me before I lose my virginity”

“God your a degenerate”

Senya and Astḗr (platonic)

The two Majin appear from a burst of smoke swirling smoke of red’s and purples

Two magical beings demanding to know what both your and your brothers wish was

The Majin your brother was granted is much more intimidating in nature than yours who leisurely relaxes on a cloud

Their much more and lithe androgynous appearance paired with an elegant and sly smile

Whilst Senya pokes at Arajin for being a wimp, Astḗr stares at you with interest in their golden eyes

A curious expression on their face as they examine your glare of both fear and defence

A lavender tinged hand reaches out

Your frozen in fear

And then-

“Kyaaa!! You’re such an adorable human!” The Majin wraps their arms around you, choking you in a massive hug as the other lightly laughs at their behaviour. “Ah! Mind my manners! I’m Aster, now what’s your wish?”

“Huh?…w…what?”

“What’s your wish?”

“My wish?…” you think it over for a moment before a memory plays in your head as you one night watched a shooting star “I wish happy life”

The Majin grins at that, “as you wish”

And then Arajin wishes to lose his virginity which makes you and the two Majin stare at him in both shock and disbelief

Before you them rightfully punch Arajin in the head for both shooting you and wasting a wish for literally anything in the world

Meanwhile both Majin laugh their metaphorical asses off

The Majin are only seen by you and Arajin despite Ara trying to get others to see the two

Despite the fact that you had a mental breakdown when first meeting Senya and Astḗr you become quickly used to their presence

Senya is the more battle hungry of the two, enthusiastically asking you of your past experiences once hearing you had your fair share

Despite his initial impression he seems to be quite a fun guy

He even has an almost puppy like expression at times when you explain new human things as Aster listens with a look of amazement

Speaking of Aster your Majin is seemingly the youngest

Apparently their first time even experiencing the human world

Senya has granted wishes a couple times within the span of few centuries but Aster is doing it for the first time

It leaves Senya looking on like a big brother as Aster engages with you with enthusiasm

You soon realize though that your wish for a happy life was soon much more complicated than you initially wishes

“Aster why am I seeing shojo anime sparkles?!?”

The Majin giggles “well you said you wanted a happy life right! Well I watched some of those shows your mom was watching and some fairytales and well…they seem to be living a really happy life! Plus you used to live here right? Whats more happy and romantic than reuniting with your old friends!”

As much as you like Aster your gonna strangle them

Mahoro (romantic)

The girl your brother is listing after and sits beside seems worryingly familiar to you

Even she seems to notice this as she looks your way as Ara is too love stricken to notice she’s looking behind him

It’s so odd

She rings a bell in your head yet you can’t place a finger on it

Until it’s after school and you end up at a small stationary shop selling cute stuff

Even back in your delinquent days you had a soft spot for cute stuff

It was a secret you hid in the depths of your soul for your reputation

Except to two people in particular

One of which who you gifted a small my melody keychain to match your kuromi one

In that small store you pick out the cutest stuff of your dreams without any hesitation you used to have

By the time you leave your bag is filled to the brim

It’s there you bump into that pretty girl

She looks at you with big pink eyes

And it’s there passing her you notice her my melody phone charm

It’s there you realize it’s “Mai-chan” as you used to affectionately call her

The only person you felt comfortable in talking about your love for cute things

Back in the day she used to have the biggest crush on you

She’d follow you around and cling to you like a stray puppy and glaring at anyone in a 3 feet radius

She even had the gull to argue with her big bro about being to close to you

In retrospect maybe a little obsessive but at the time she was one of the few you felt…soft with plus it was probably just puppy love

Around everyone you had to be ready for a fight

You were the ruthless leader of a gang after all

You couldn’t have to to just simply sit down and enjoy something like Sanrio

Someone but yourself to put bandaids and wrap your bruised knuckles

But with her you let your guard down

She was someone you could simply be you with

And because of that, because you were her shield and someone who would genuinely listen to her

You could simply be you and she could be herself without people just perceiving her for her looks

When you were adopted though you cut contact for everyone’s sake

Because how would she feel if she saw you were a completely different person

In some sense you were ashamed

In another you thought it was best for anyone to know

When you leave the shop she stares at the kuromi merchandise you bought

Distantly you hear her nickname for you but you pretend to ignore it

When Ara asks about his prospects with his “sweet Mahoro-chan~” you can’t help but sigh

She’s doing that old habit of luring guys in for her brother to beat up since you won’t do it anymore

You tried to warn Ara but you assume you’ll have to step in personally when the time comes

“Oni-chan! I think I saw them again! And they’re hanging out with some boy! You know what that means!”

Matakara (romantic)

The moment you stood up for him and Arajin as kids he looked up to you

Despite the fact you were the leader of those kids you clearly had morals

Even watching your fights against other kids he noticed you were honourable

And that’s something that stuck with him

Sure, it didn’t take much for you to bloody your knuckles but you didn’t play dirty

You fought fair

Sure maybe you were rough around the edges but he saw in you like Arajin a kindness

One that was on display that day and even more so when you were taken in

He didn’t know you for very long until you and your family moved but when he did it was something he’d never forget

You were more kind at heart than he imagined

When he an Arajin would train you’d alway cheer them on and have celebratory snacks ready

When he pushed himself to the limit of got hurt you’d patch him up

Washing his scrapes and putting cute little bandaids on them

He was heartbroken when you left and as were you

So it’s a surprise when he suddenly sees Arajin again

And by extension that means your back too

When you both run into each other again your much more happy than Arajin

In fact his men can hardly believe it when he’s suddenly tackled hugged by you

Never can he but he then spins you around in pure joy

All the while his men Zabu and Komao watch in awe

Before you turn your attention to them

And pause

And then turn back to Matakara with an expression which could only be described as “pissed and wanting an explanation”

So turns out he joined a gang

And turns out you don’t like that much since you then suplex him onto the ground

Of all the things he learned from you it should’ve been not to get affiliated with gangs

It’s literally what you told him and Ara everyday

But nope, this block headed puppy dog did the one thing you told him not to do

Zabu and Komao almost attack you if not for Matakara laughing it off

Even if your upset with his decision he’s at least happy that your still the same you

Temperamental but compassionate

Sturdy yet gentle

Stoic and emotional all at the same time

He asks if sometime you’d like to have lunch or train at the dojo his relatives own and you agree

But only if it’s non gang related and he smiles

Zabu and Komao can practically see hearts buzzing around him and the gentle look in his eyes as you leave

They can’t really blame him for it either

“Other than joining a gang (which I’m still upset about) what have you been doing?” You ask sitting down beside him with your bento box and his. Mom made one specially for him

“Well I’ve been training. Arajin may have given up but I haven’t, it seems like you still train too” he says with the same kind smile as usual

You feel yourself get a bit flustered at that “how else am I supposed to keep that idiot brother of mine safe. I swear he walks into danger sometimes” at that Matakara laughs in agreement.

Marito (romantic)

Back when you started your gang there was only ever one person that ever came close to your strength and that was Marito

When you had defeated him it was as if he became a parasite that latched onto you (you say this lovingly and out of annoyance)

He had stuck with you like glue and became your right hand man

Quite literally helping you claw your way to the top of the metaphorical food chain

Marito and his sister were the only two people at the time that saw you for who you were

Saw where you’d slink back off to at night

Saw how utterly hopeless and alone you felt

You were strong yes, that’s what drew him to you in the first place

It was (as he says) “love at first fight”

But beyond that he began to see the person who did his sisters hair

Gave other tips In how to throw a proper punch

Allowed their mask to break In his presence and crumble

It made him grow to love you more

Respect you more

And most importantly grow to care for you despite your inability to properly see it

Despite what you thought so many people respected and looked up to you

Him included

For fucks sake his own sister got jealous when he once had to carry you or when your attention was on him too much

You didn’t see this though, perhaps couldn’t with the constant feeling of invisibility and insecurity instilled into you at birth

It’s because of this that one day you seemingly disappeared and left a note saying you gave up your position as leader to him

It hurt

It hurt a lot more than he wanted to admit

everyone felt your absence, him and Mahoro especially

But despite that Marito never gave up on trying to find you

He would get it through your thick head one way or another that he cared for you

That he loved you damn it

And if there was one thing people would agree on about Marito is was that he never gave up on something

Especially for someone he loves

So when years pass he’s still looking for you when something catches his attention

His sister mentions that she thought she saw you

It seems you were back

And with a guy? Who was also once again wrapped around her finger

He wasn’t surprised at that but moreso you were with someone

So maybe after that he got a little bit heated more than usual when interrupting Mahoro’s “date” with him to beat the shit out of him

And maybe he does get a little obsessed with his punch

And then you show up with that beautiful stoic and cold look on your face as you give him your famous combo moves

And he falls in love with you all over again

I mean how can he not?

Especially when he punch back and you simply spit the blood out to the pavement

And how can he not be jealous when you go help Arajin before realize through a now pissy Mahoro (upset he got to be within 4 feet of you) that’s your brother

From the look on his face of lovesick and determined you can’t help but feel a bit nervous in class with Arajin as Mahoro practically looks behind you and you hear some footsteps quickly approaching your classroom

“Looks like big boss is back in town! I wonder how long I’ll need to fight them to get it in their thick head how much I love them” he says kicking his feet as newer members look in confusion. The older one though know

“Oni-chan you better not hog them from me!” A huffy Mahoro grumbles

You really wish you could’ve wished for something else

Your having the feeling Arajin wishes the same

It seems they were right about having wishes always turn out in the worst of ways

Senya and Astḗr don’t seem to be doing it maliciously but rather out of obliviousness

But maybe it was both your faults for not asking for a straight forward wish from two entities that haven’t interacted with humans for centuries (or for in Astḗr’s case ever)

[luna0713hunter]

Please more writing for shanks! It's so good

Author's note : I've come back from the death!!!i just had one of my final terms today and saying im exhausted to bone is a misunderstanding. Anyways!!!i hope u enjoy this!!

A safe place to rest

Shanks x reader

Summary : being a pirate,may seem like an easy job. But after fighting marines and looking after your crewmates,you cant help but to feel exhausted.

Warnings : none,hurt/comfort,overworked reader,pet names such as "princess,darling and etc", gender neutral ,metion of blood

*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘

Peeling the bloody shirt off of your body and throwing it on the wooden floor of the ship,you sit heavily on your bed and heave a heavy sigh; today was exhausting.

It started out like any other day;with you waking up to your crewmates loud banter and getting dressed as you made your way over to the kitchen to have a simple breakfast. Soon,a small land was found,and it was time for reloading the stuff you needed to sail off again.

Helping everyone was as always,a challenge. As you tried to stop your crewmates from making any mess,and at the same time remembering every single item on the list. And simply putting them in the storage had took all your afternoon rest. And if that wasnt enough,everyone on the ship had agreed to go out and drink because it's been a while since you had hit the land.

And if your day wasnt exhausting enough,all hell broke loose as you stepped inside the bar.

Everything was good for the first thirty minutes. That is,until a group of young marines had barged in; seemingly have heard from the locals about the pirates luring around.

The fight was ugly.

You take your head in your hands as the images of the fight flashes across your eyes;the sickly smell of blood still lingering in your nose.

Gods above,you were beyond tired. You were ready to crawl under your blanket and never get out,when a gentle knock broke you out of your trace.

You hastily throw a clean shirt on,and slowly open the door only to be greeted by a flash of red.

Shanks,your captain, gives you a small smirk as he takes in your appearance and leans against the door frame.

"comfortable there, princess?"

You give him a confused look before taking a good look at what you're wearing and then your cheeks are burning bright red. You swallow down your embarrassment and fold your arms against your chest with a slight pout.

"your fault for leaving it in my room,Cap."

Shanks lets out a free laugh and raises his single arm up in mock surrounder.

"dont get me wrong. I love to see you in my clothes more than anything."

You hum,a slight comfort taking place in your weary bones as you lean against the door as well.

"more than wine?"

Shanks leans slightly closer,and tucks a strand of hair behind your ear,and you try to look away when he gives you the softest smile.

"more than air itself,my dear."

You lean in his touch shyly and look up at him from under your lashes.

"would you like to come in then, captain?"

Shanks nods and closes the door behind himself.

Its not his first time in your room;after all,its been a while since the two of you started dating. But it still made you slightly awkward having him in your messy room.

A slight tug at your hand and warm fingers interwining with yours,makes you look at the red haired man standing in front of you.

"what're you thinking about,doll?"

And just seeing him there;in the comfort of your own room and under the soft glow of the candles;in his cloths,has you letting out a soft sigh and leaning your forehead against his shoulder.

"I'm just... exhausted,Shanks. Today was alot. Everything is alot."

A strong arm wraps itself around your shoulders and pulls you flush against his chest. You feel Shanks' lips press firmly against the crown of your hair and you close your eyes upon the feeling.

"Take the day off tomorrow. No,take a week off;a month if you need,my dear. It kills me to see you wear yourself thin,and I've been meaning to ask you to take a break. Lets just,rest until you feel better yeah?" You raise you head up and look at him,only to see him smiling softly;his hand caressing your hair, "no need to push yourself. My princess deserves the best."

You blink rapidly;only to get rid of the stray tears stinging your eyes. A small smile tugs at the corner of your lips before you're pulling yourself up on your tiptoes,and pressing your lips to his stubbled cheek.

"i appreciate it,Cap."

A horse chuckle escapes his lips,and before you know it, you're being lead to your bed.

"then how about we start from sleeping this awful night off. What do you say?"

And when you pull him down along with you and let out a relaxed sigh as you lay your head on his chest,a genuine smile finally blooms on your lips.

"sounds just wonderful,my love."

And you let the sound of Shanks' soft breathing and waves,lull you to sleep.

[the-90s-music-colosseum]

Round 5, Match 2

propaganda below the cut! (wall of text warning)

Selena:

"truly probably one of the most beautiful women to have ever walked this earth. voice of an angel, dazzling smile, looks like she smells good"

"if u don't vote selena ur mexicanphobic /j"

Brian Molko:

"Gender"

"IM GOING TO EAT HER. He is soooo beautiful and freakish and small and weird and girlfriend and tiny like a little princess bug fairy. Literally gorgeous she has to win"

"When he flipped over the table with the little limp wrist.... someone find the video"

"1998 woman of the year"

"Brian Molko is peak gender envy, gender bending and being yourself without caring about other people's opinion, on top of all that he is a great guitarist that writes amazing songs"

"Brian’s gonna win this. I think we all kinda know that."

"Tumblrinas would be nothing without Brian molko"

"Kills her kills her kills her kills her kills her kills him kills her. He's my everything <3"

"He came 10th in the list of hottest women sometimes in the 90s. Gender goals."

"No one in the world can sound so nasal and look so angelic....."

"don't you wish you had his gender"

"Single-handedly took my gender by the scruff of the neck and threw it in a washing machine at full speed. He talked about not expecting to "get away with" passing as a woman to the degree that he did when he started purposely presenting feminine. He talked about the importance to fuck with people's heads through his appearance and behaviour, the importance of ambiguity. About how being in the band allowed him to do stuff he couldn't have done otherwise, to exaggerate some of his traits. He had the fuck ass bob makeup nail polish dresses stuff down, but not in an overly sophisticated way, especially in the early career 90s days the vibe was more shabby punk rock chick. Also he fantasized about being in an all-girl band called Skirt and playing guitar and singing backing vocals in drag. According to a 1997 melody maker interview bandmate steve hewitt called him "the most confused woman he's ever known". And if you go down that rabbit hole there's just more of this. Lots of material to focus on if you like genderweird bisexual unclean libertines (song ref) who will just say Anything in interviews. It's fun."

"I've drawn him as saints and martyrs such as saint sebastian and joan of arc. Or all bloody lying in a wet alley after being thrown out of a club. Or unconscious on a snowy road. Or dying in a glue trap. Or shocked after seeing a dead body. Also as a nun and as rose mcgowan in the doom generation. This is because I'm normal."

"She's a sick little angel faced freak. My theythem girlboy queen. He reminds me of an ant. He's like 5 foot 4 or something. My goth girl boyfriend. <3"

[winnieiscalmeth]

Hello, can I ask Balalaika x male or gn reader scenario?

Basically, Balalaika is with the reader whom she thought was just an ordinary kind and religious man who loves her for who she is, but one day the reader gets kidnapped by a gang, Balalaika is about to rescue the reader but the reader shows up in front of their doorstep covered in blood, Balalaika begins to question the reader on why are they covered in blood?, how did they escape? and are they injured? The reader just sits on the sofa and tells Balalaika "You have told me your secret it's about time I tell you mine" The reader tells Balalaika about their past about their childhood, how they created a syndicate, how they got the nickname the conquering devil, when they tired of the life their living back then how they found solace and peace in religion and turning a new leaf, how they escape the gang who kidnapped them up to now.

Balalaika x Reader

Мой маленький дьявол= My little devil

Notes: This is a little ooc and highkey cringe but here you go! Might mention a gender so if you see it just ignore.

TW: Substance selling, alcohol abuse, neglect, murder

Proof read: Nope.

"Brought back into hell"

Balalaika never expected to fall in love with someone like you. You were just a nun/monk roaming around the city and She is a mafia boss. But her perspective changed about you after a few hours of no call from you.

Shaking off the nagging feeling, she continued fliping through files on an upcoming assignment she was going to give the Lagoon company.

"Captain" Boris called out to her. "I've heard some news about Y/n," he said.

"Oh really? I mean, it's nothing new when it comes to them sticking their nose into stuff that's not their busines-"

"They've been kidnapped," Boris interrupted. "A few of our soldiers came back with this after finding it out on the street." He pulled out a bloody neckerchief.

Balalaika froze. Why were you even out at night? Where were the people she hired for you?

Balalaika inhaled before standing up. "Gather up the guards that were supposed to be protecting them and start a search party." Boris nodded and wrapped her coat around her. She turned to walk out the door.

"Should I call for more people?" Boris followed her. Balalaika shook her head.

"No. This shouldn't take long." She twisted the knob on the door and swung it open. When her eyes adjust to the darkness in front of her, a silhouette is shown walking up.

"I was going to call you, but I didn't want my fingerprints on the payphone." The figure spoke. Recognizing the voice, Balalaika looked back at Boris. Boris looked back at her with an equally confused expression. You waved your bloody hand at her. Both of them stood there, confused.

You awkwardly stared back at them. "I'm gonna..go clean up." You walked past them.

"I'll speak to you later, Sargeant. Right now, I need to figure out what the hell happened to Y/n" she said, turning to follow you. By the time she reached your room, you already had some of the bloody clothing off of you. Before you knew it, she was grabbing you and checking to see if you had gotten hurt.

"Are you okay? How did you get out?" She removed her hand from your face and stared at the blood on it. "Whose blood is this?!"

"Calm down!" You grabbed her hand. Balalaika sighed and sat down. Silence filled the room. "I didn't think I was going to be brought back into this life. I even tried to be religious." You laughed at the irony. Balalaika watched your figure slump down into the chair.

"What life?" Her eyebrows furrowed. You sighed.

"Y'know about the 'conquering devil?'" You asked her. She nodded. "That is- was my name."

Balalaika folded her arms. "I had a feeling. But I couldn't convince myself that you were a killer." You rolled your eyes.

"I took offense to that." You two shared a heartwarming laugh before falling back into silence. "My life has never been all sunshine and holiness, though. My dad was an alcoholic, and my mom was never really there. I swore to God that I would never become like him, but sometimes things don't go as planned."

"I started selling cocaine. Just enough for some food and a place to stay. We gathered a small crew, and when we got tired of selling drugs, we went into robbing, then got hired as assassins. We got more popular, and that's where I got my name. Our small crew got bigger with me as their leader. People started to fear us, but then one of our members had to go and fuck it all up by killing the wrong person. "You leaned forward more in your chair." The look in that woman's eyes still appears in my memory. Cleaning her blood off of my carpet was a wake-up call.

"After sleepless nights, I just left. I left everything behind to start a new life. I started going back to church and volunteering for small community get togethers. Then some basterds just had to bring me back into hell. " You put your head into your hand. Balalaika held your hand and listened patiently, just like you did when she opened up about her past. "The dumbasses didn't tighten the rope enough, and I managed not to get shot as I ran out." She looked you up and down.

"It doesn't explain the blood."

"Not mine." You said. Balalaika chuckled and stood up. "Well, Мой маленький дьявол. We should get you cleaned up before it sticks to you." She grabbed your hand and lead you to the bathroom.

"Ooh I see what your doing" You smirked at her. Balalaika had a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"What? You deserve it after what you went through" She squeezed your hand mirroring the same smirk on your face.

[clean-bands-dirty-stories]

Hold Still ~ X.T.

A/n: Gender neutral pronouns were used, so gn reader for this one! Pure fluff after the last angsty fic <3

Request: “Xavier x werewolf!reader where R gets into a fight with another student that Xavier pulls them out of and helps patch them up. R is still drunk on adrenaline(or like mildly concussed lmao), and they keep being annoying trying to steal kisses from him while he’s literally trying to help stop their face from bleeding.”

Word Count: 1500+

MASTERLIST

Xavier had gotten there too late to see how it had started, but it was quickly quite clear how it was ending. Y/n wasn’t shifted at all, only their eyes glowing as they went to town on the person underneath them. Xavier had only managed to slip through the crowd and hook his hands under his partner’s arms, hefting them up and away. They had fought, and though Xavier was taller they were stronger and they almost got away. If him not groaning as their foot came in contact with the sude of his leg and them recognizing his voice, they probably would have gotten away clean.

Distracted by Xavier though, their focus changed quickly as they turned from the guy that Xavier didn’t even recognize - except that they weren’t from Nevermore. Which made no sense because they were at school. The town people never came here on their own.

He focused on his partner as their hands ran over his shoulders and down his arms, eyes scanning for injury.

Despite himself, Xavier smiled. “I’m okay.” Of course they had the time and energy to be worried about him when they had a forming black eye, split lip and bloody nose.

Xavier was a little proud to say the other guy looked worse though. Y/n had handled him well.

Not that he should he encouraging that.

Weems was on the scene in the next breath, leaving no room for further discussion. Her eyes ran over something before her worry turned cold and hard as her eyes landed on the boy still on the ground. No one had even tried to help him up, which confused Xavier even more.

Then he saw it.

When Xavier’s art in town had been painted over last year, Weems had given him permission to do something at the school. He had put all of the effort he had into this one, absolutely sure that it would be safe inside the school at the very least.

The wall he’d had his second painting was white, the paint only on enough to cover what he had worked so hard on, underneath. Over the white was splattered, “Monster” in big blocky red letters. At the bottom of the scene on the wall was an open and prepped bear trap.

Xavier felt himself go pale.

The trap was a message of course, the boy probably hadn’t meant to actually catch Xavier or anyone else. But it would have been easy not to see it if you were lost in a book or practicing some practical magic or in regular school stuff - even if you were in a hurry on the way to class. There was a corner that someone could turn around and completely not see the trap at all.

This kid had not only ruined Xavier’s portrait, he had put every single person at Nevermore in very real danger.

No wonder Y/n had gone for the throat.

Weems leered at the boy at her full height and the boy on the ground shrunk into himself. “You won’t press charges, or spread word on what happened here. If you try to I will expose the instigating actions and very illegal trespassing and assault you’ve done. Don’t even get me started on the physical safety threat you’ve made.” It wasn’t totally accurate, but it would he only too easy to play off if anyone tried anything.

Weems had grown a backbone. That was nice to see.

The boy nodded and, once dismissed by Weems, scrambled to freedom. She then turned to Y/n. She didn’t reprimand them as expected. Her gaze simply softened and she sighed. “I know things have gotten difficult for you since getting arrested,” she said softly to Xavier. His eyes fell to the ground, unable to look at his ruined painting.

For the second time now.

“Make me something for my office instead okay?” She asked.

Xavier nodded, looking at her as she kneeled down to check on how Y/n was doing. “Thanks, Weems.”

The woman smiled. “Of course. Now go get your partner patched up.”

Xavier smiled softly, helping Y/n to their feet. The pair left to Xavier’s dorm. Usually they’d be sneakier or at least get some light hearted joking teasing from teachers or reminders of curfew, but today they just walked and everyone left them alone.

Y/n had stepped up for Nevermore ajd taken hits for it. They could have this one.

Once inside, Xavier sat them down on his bed (It smelled like him and he knew they’d like that). Then he got a wet rag, disinfectant and a few bandages. He sat next to Y/n, reaching over to hold their chin as he used the rag to softly dab and wipe the blood away, cleaning the cut.

They hissed, leaning away on instinct. Xavier shot them a half amused look. “We love a knight in shining armor but now I have to patch you up like the good boyfriend I am. So please stay still.”

Y/n did a little pout. “Can’t you just kiss it better?”

Xavier chuckled. Then he sobered a bit as he realized their eyes were dilated and their gaze seemed a little unfocused.

Shit.

“Hey, are you feeling anything abnormal other than the pain from the bruising and cuts?” He asked, trying to move their chin so their eyes would meet his. They seemed to struggling with the task.

Y/n just shrugged. “My head hurts a little. He got like, two good hits in. But only in the beginning. I landed on the ground before he got on top of me and then I sort of flipped us over and-“ They shrugged again.

Xavier frowned. “Did you hit your head?”

Y/n laughed at that. “Several times. Between his fist and the concrete I got a few good whacks.”

Xavier bit back an angry comment. That wouldn’t help them right now. He would chide Y/n for being reckless and apathetic with their well being another time. “Y/n, you have a concussion.” He raised an accusing eyebrow.

Y/n grinned. “Not surprised I got a bit roughed up falling for you.”

Xavier snorted, rolling his eyes and dodging his partner as they went in for a kiss. “You cannot flirt your way out of this. You should have told me that you hit your head. I could have made it worse.”

Y/n sighed, leaning against the end of the bed, first pushing a pillow behind him so the post didn’t dig into his back. “I’m sorry Xav I just. Tired.” They nestled into the bed and closed their eyes, as if to sleep.

Xavier pulled them into a sitting position, heart swelling when they whined. They were so adorable right now…

He had go focus.

“You can’t fall asleep when you have s concussion darling we don’t know exactly how bad your concussion is.”

Y/n rolled his eyes but conceded. “Fine. Continue your treatment Doctor Thorpe.”

A smile ghosted at his lips again, unable to help himself. “Okay sit still and I’ll try to get the rest of your face.”

“Not my face,” Y/n groaned. “My money winner!”

A chuckle bubbled from Xavier as he was caught off guard by the near drunk way Y/n was acting right now. He seemed to be able to focus more easily now and wasn’t slurring his words, and he seemed to be keeping his balancing sitting up fine enough so Xavier was unworried enough to be able to enjoy the shenanigans. “Whatever, Y/n.” He reached the rag forward to wipe more of the blood away. Y/n ducked the rag and leaned in again for a kiss. This time they got a peck before Xavier ducked out of the way. “Y/n,” he chided.

The put on their best pleading face. “One kiss and I’ll sit still?”

Xavier sighed, taking a second before conceding. “Fine.” They made a squeaky noise of celebration before puckering up, leaning in. Xavier chuckled before shifting his hold from their chin to their jaw, leaning in for a long and deep and sincere kiss. When he leaned away they whined and he found himself suddenly sickly in love. “Please let me finish?”

Y/n hesitated, eyes locked on the details of Xavier’s face, drinking in how he was looking at them right now. They pursed their lips. “Xav. You know you’re not a monster, right?”

Xavier felt something warm settle in his chest. Y/n was always so aware and caring of him, even when they were concussed.

God he was lucky. “I know.” His thumb brushed across their cheek, expression soft. He was melted to the floor in love with them.

They smiled. “Good.” They settled into a single spot, lifting their chin and offering their face for cleaning. Xavier went back to work, thanking whoever was listening above that even though people were cruel and mistakes haunted you even when the mistakes weren’t yours - that despite all the bad in the world, Xavier had Y/n. Someone so good they single handedly balanced everything else.

He could paint another picture. They were worth that.

[cazuela-time]

Ok so I've been having a sexuality crisis now that i got a boyfriend and got to experience stuff with a guy. I thought about it a lot and i reached the conclusion that a) i like him platonically, and b) I'm probably a lesbian. and i was super sure about it today but i saw the quiet place movie a few hours ago and i love male characters that are so wet and pathetic - but like, in a cat kinda way?? Like i would kiss them but in the same sense i would kiss my cat for being cute. Not in a particularly romantic sense but i do think that they're very cute?

Anyway i was thinking that and being like shit maybe im not actually gay if i like these male characters - i obviously like their personalities and shiet but the thing that makes me really like em is their look

By look i mean wet and pathetic, bloodied or fucked up in some sense, tired and nerdy looking (eric from quiet place, newt from pacific rim,etc) and then i has a small thought non thought? Like i thought it but it caught me by surprise, because for a second i was like "i wish i was him" and the thing is im non binary in the sense that i dont percieve my gender - HAVE I JUST WANTED TO LOOK LIKE THEM THIS WHOLE TIME ARE YOU KIDDING ME? IS THAT IT?? I WANTED TO STEAL THEIR GENDER PRESENTATION?

Im being so fr i always thought they were cute and so i assumed it was attraction. Did i confuse gender envy with attraction?? I am having a crisis.

WHAT EVEN IS ATTRACTION IM SO CONFUSED.

Like, i like how these brand of fictional guy look - their personalities and aesthetic are very appealing to me and sometimes i like them to the point of wanting to put them in my pocket and like, squeeze them like a little stress ball.

And if i think about real guys in my life, ive liked 3 guys -

first one i have absolutely no recollection but my mum said i had a crush so whatever (also fun fact a lil boy tried to kiss me as a toddler and apparently i wanted to NOT so bad that i got a head injury by banging my head on furniture while backing up FAST lol).

Second was in elementary and we were friends. I dont remember liking him before i asked who he liked to make conversation but i remember i thought he implied he liked me and i liked him from there on (which was like two hours lol) and later when he admited it was another girl i felt heartbroken but i immediately got over it lmao.

And last was in high school - we were becoming fast friends and i liked him a lot, but when i thought about like kissing him and stuff i got this nervous feeling like it was wrong somehow. Also i chose a guy to like in middle school but i dont count that one.

To me, all these seem very shallow? But i dont know if thats normal or if im remembering wrong or remembering what i want to remember or what.

But if i think ab it, i could never have sex with them i think. And this applies to all men ive met too - If i imagine it the whole thing feels cold,,,like detached? Like i guess it'd be fine and we would be closer as a result (like, to bond?) But i dont think it'd be particularly fun?

THEN IF I COMPARE IT TO WOMEN i dont really like many female characters? Like I'm struggling to think of any i really really like besides Grace from ready or not and Pearl from pearl (and Maxine from x and Amber from Scream - the blood thing and that they can kill is cool ngl) and while I've thought about a friend like "i wish we could be together forever" type of thing, ive never had a crush on a girl -

But if i think about sex, if i picture it with a girl, it seems warm. Like it'd be very peaceful and like joyful? Like it would be fun. But its similar to when i think of it with men: it has no passion? Is that wrong? Am i not supposed to be passionate about it?

The hardest part is that i can't figure it out because I DONT FEEL ANYTHING?? WITH ANYONE???? PEOPLE TELL ME THEY LOOK AT CERTAIN PPL AND THEY THINK "oh yeah i wanna fuck and kiss that person" and im like WHAT??? IVE NEVER IN MY LIFE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT??? i look at people and im like, yes, thats a person who is good looking, but nothing else?????

Like, i read and love nagata kabi's works and she has this part about how she and other people have a lust thing? And i looked at that and was so confused because I've never felt anything like that - bit i related to a lot of things she says. So maybe I'm asexual?? Or demisexual???

So yeah, im confused as fuck.

I somehow feel like I'm a lesbian (i literally made a huge list detailing every sapphic occurrence in my life, like for example the fact that my one and only "sex dream" was about a blonde girl in a bathtub) but i also kinda feel like what if I'm wrong? What if I'm lying to myself and I'm actually straight or bisexual?

[lawnmowereater]

hello! i was wondering if you could make a fic even a short one on how bakugou (boyfriend) would react to seeing the (old) scars on your wrist for the first time. Just how he'd react for not noticing it before and stuff.

Authors Notes: omg yes i can! your my first person to request something so thank you so much. if you wanted a longer story im sorry. (also this is not my gif)

Trigger Warning: S-lf H-rm

Tags: Angst, Fluff, Gender Neutral Reader, Like One Use of y/n

Bakugou seeing your old SH scars.

yall would probably just be chilling in his dorm

like having a little date night or romantic sleepover

and you just changed into your pajamas and they show a lot more skin than the outfits that you usually wear

you both were probably just scrolling on your phones together or watching tv, then bakugou got bored. he just started looking around in curiousity

then he looked at your revealed skin, and kinda started looking at it. he did end up dating the hottest person in the world, so he might as well admire them

but his heart dropped when he saw tons of old, small sc-rs all along your skin. they seemed healed which was good, but that didnt bother bakugou the most

his voice sounded small and a tad bit scared when he spoke "hey y/n..?"

you looked at him confused. he normally never sounds this scared unless something is really wrong. so you ask what's up

"those sc-rs look pretty bad, and before you say anything. dont lie to me, i know that you couldn't have gotten that many sc-rs that bad from training"

his voice sounded a bit harsh, but you knew that he was just scared and worried.

your eyes widened in fear when he pointed them out. you quickly grab a blanket and cover yourself before trying to lie your way out of the situation. but its too late

bakugou knew what those sc-rs were from, he wasnt an idiot.

when he spoke, his voice now sounded a bit shaky. and his eyes looked glassy, it seemed as if he was holding back tears

"no, dont lie. i know that you got those from s-lf h-rm." bakugou takes a deep breath "but.. why?"

his red eyes shimmered with held back tears as he waited for you to answer him. he was so worried but he didnt want to show you.

eventually, you told him why you s-lf h-rmed (idk why you did). it took a lot of courage to open up to bakugou, and he realizes that.

when you're done, you look up to bakugou for his reaction. although your teary eyes slightly blur up the view

bakugou has a few dried tears on his cheek. and he looks like a lost puppy. his eyes are wide with worry and concern.

he never really had comfort and support for his mental health growing up. this whole concept of opening up to your loved ones is still kinda stange for him

"im sorry, i.. i had no idea" he doesnt really know what to say, but he'll be damned if he doesnt try his best.

"but, just come to me the next time that you feel like doing this. i cant have you going around with bloody sc-rs like its nobodies business."

he looks at you and your teary eyes. he thinks for a moment, but then he opens his arms for you to climb into.

you slowly climb into his arms and onto his lap. his arms go around your torso as your arms goes behind his.

and you guys just kinda stay there for a while, not saying anything. its a comfortable silence, and you both definitely need it.

eventually after god knows how long, bakugou whispers into your ear "why didnt you tell me sooner?"

bakugou was worring this whole time about why you didnt tell him. was he not trust worthy? did he do something wrong?

you sooth his worries by telling him that you were just scared of what he would say, and if we would take it well.

a wave of relief washes over his body when you say that. he thought that he did something wrong.

then, he says "good. this better not be my fault."

he pauses to think for a bit.

"do you need food?"

he couldnt think of many other ways to comfort you, so this will have to so.

happily, the two of you walk into the kitchen for dinner, and prepare to spend a whole lot more time cuddling tonight.

[sloppyneedybmxboy]

fav supernatural episodes

3x03 rabbits foot bella episode 3x08 supernatural christmas super wincest so sweet so sad 3x10 dream a little dream of me, bobby i just love you 3x11 mystery spot, like groundhog day with dean dying a lot SO ANGST between sam and dean 3x12 jus in bello, super tense dude they're in a demon siege goood ep 3x13 ghostfacers, so so funny so spoofy

(*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)

4x01 dean comes back from hell whole thing shot like gay porn i love it 4x03 and 02 not my fav episodes ever but incredibly gay destiel scenes at night 4x06 anxious dean 4x07 awesome ep. castiel meets sammie. DESTIEL scenes like the bench scene ZOMG 4x09 just a great ep loads of drama. anna !

4x10 good for drama. anna kisses dean and cas is like :o 4x15 uhh the reapers have been kindapped. castiel and also alistair and pamela. its a fun time (sort of ) 4x16 ON THE HEAD OF A PIN. my favest episode so far, so much drama. dean angst! torturing alistair! bloody cas. cas at deans bedside . i was getting too close to the humans in my charge etc etc 4x18 chuck, good ep ft dean praying to cas for first time

4x20 tense. not the best ep ever but ft jimmy novak aka cas' vessel and funny just for the complete lack of sexual tension between dean and jimmy without cas inside him and dean's confusion

4x21 oop. sam getting demon blood detoxed. angst and greatly enjoyable

4x22 best epppp so good so good. so fun always good to rewatch. much destiel

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

5x02 "i rebelled i did it all for you" destiel speech um also awesome ep war comes to small town etc rufus ellen involved very ethel cain 5x03 dean and cas go on a case together for the first time! very gay¬! 5x04 endverse cas and dean, apocalypse, gayness 5x06 good ep with the kid antichrsit it just pisses me offf 5x07 old dean, so funny, bobby angst, loves it 5x08 changing channels! it truly has it all. gabriel, cas, funny sam dean stuff, dr sexy …. 5x10 cas and jo and ellen and dean and bobby and stuff aaaa my heart. they tracked lucifer down. sexy cas scenes 5x11 a true fever dream of an episode … the boys admit themselves to a mental asylum … I don't know if this deserves to be on this list but it was kinda funny idk. minus points for no cas. 5x13 worth it only for the cas!whump scenes hurtcas ! he sends them back in time to fix things with john and mary 5x14 MY BLOODY VALENTINE! consumehimnatural destiel my beloved 5x16 worth it for the cas losing his faith in his father/god plotline. angst cas 5x17 DRUNK BITCH CAS ep.! always good fun to watch him be mean to sam. dean's like WHAAAA? one of my fav eps 5x18 "last time someone looked at my like that, I got laid" DESTIEL ALLEYWAY FIGHT SCENE, angst!dean, so many good scenes !!! one of my fav eps 5x20 wonderful crowley ep, really funny antagonistic & good gay times 5x21 cas in hospital! cas saves the day! not the best plot wise but plenty of fun and crowley involved too so all the boys :D

(☆▽☆)

6x01 NOT the best episode at ALL but really fun to watch in terms of dean gender studies. dean living normcore life with ben and lisa 6x03 CAS IS ON ONE! "we do have a more profound bond" very funny iconic destiel lines, balthazar included

6x04 BOBBY POV EP! YAY! supa funny silly lighthearted I loves it 6x05 Twilight/vampire. I am hesitant to put this one on the list but it is homoerotic vampires dean gender studies moments so I think it has to be here. minus points for soulless sam and samuel cos they sukk 6x06 ICONIC destiel whiskey pouring scene.Rest of the ep is fairly skippable. I sometimes slow this scene down to x0.25 and watch it because there's so much being said nonverbally thru their body language and eyes so watch careffffully. much to unpack, ripe for analysis. sad!Cas

6x09 dean fight the fairies episode. so much fun 6x10 meg! crowley! cas! the boys! they're all fighting. supa funny cas/crowley bits and cas sexual awakening 6x15 HOLA MISHAMIGOS! meta ep. so funny so silly so light

6x18 this ep truly has it all ONE OF MY FAV OF ALL TIME dean gender silly dress up cowboy, b plot is gay cas and bobby getting angel fisted umm 6x19-22 obvs THE MAN WHO WOULD BE KING ARC !!!

7x01 GODSTIEL ARC 7x02 godstiel arc continued. for first 10 mins or something 7x06 -7x12 ok so these are by far not my fav episodes but. there's something to say for them. I thought season 7 was gonna be balls without cas but there's something quite Classic Supernatural going on in these eps which is comforting and/or dean gender studies and/or dean pining for cas which makes them good actually. ft frank & some garth . ALSO bobby being a dad and bobby death sequence eps 9/10 7x17 CAS RETURNS! Emmanual!Cas awesome destiel scenes like the trenchcoat bit ….. 7x18 party on garth. truly an incredible episode. garth-centric 7x20 CHARLIE CHARLIE CHARLIE! 1st charlie ep leviathian heist style plot quite fun and silly 7x21 crazy cas! off his rocker cas! cas and dean play a boardgame! cas is so charmingly aloof and offhand! "when castiel first laid hands on you in hell he was LOST!!!" ft. kevin tran 7x23 weird boy bestfriends behaviour … also "i'd rather have you, cursed or not" destiel scenes ft. the Iconic castiel crowley meg dean love triangle

8x01 unbelievably gay purgatory flashback episode. deranged dean. big gay benny! very queer coded. really fun !!! one of my favs ft kevin 8x02 "too much heart was always castiel's problem" OK? ft kevin tran and his MUM. also pining recently returned from purgatory dean. overall fun ep 8x05 dean x benny ep so Very gay ….. some purg flashback and destiel parallels …. 8x06 garth therapises the Boys! it's always a good time when it's a garth ep ok

[smilepilled]

Sorry if this is a dumb question but what is the issue with agab terminology? I would assume it's because of some people thinking experiences are exclusive and stuff (I've seen some drama of it but I'm not part of it and I never ever really thought experiences were exclusive to a persons agab or perisex people), I personally feel connected to it bc I'm heavily connected to my agab/asab since I feel like my gender is tied/connected to it in a way (in an alterhuman sense) even though I have some dysphoria (mainly the atypical kind), and tbh I kind of always thought people used it in a positive way??? Idk of that makes sense. If you don't feel comfortable answering I totally understand /gen

Hey! Glad you asked, here's some simplified points for ease of understanding with the issue intersex folks have been having with AGAB terms being tossed around.

MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING for medical abuse and bloody/macabre situations involving intersex erasure, as well as the recent major bigotry from perisex folks towards intersex folks.

Direct answer: There's nothing inherently wrong with AGAB terminology, but rather how it has been appropriated from intersex people and misused en masse — AFAB is being used as "dyadic female"/"mostly female"/"female on legal papers", while AMAB is being used as "dyadic male"/"mostly female"/"female on legal papers". Or even worse, "seen as female"/"seen as male".

—————————————————

Further Background On The Terms (TIMELINE):

The terms AFAB/AMAB were originally created with the intention of discussing the coercive/forceful medical malpractice done to intersex newborns or younglings. So, for AFAB, a intersex baby/child would be forced to undergo surgeries AND/OR hormonal treatment < TO FIT INTO THE MADE UP BINARIFIED CATEGORY OF "TRUE BIOLOGICAL FEMALE" > — all while not being able to consent. The same goes for AMAB, but with the "TRUE BIOLOGICAL MALE" bullshit. Basically, intersex erasure by forcing them into one of the two boxes (and that often backfired because the person developed into the opposite of what they were ASSIGNED, or otherwise had pain/loss of sensation in their privates, or hormonal complications). For reference, this does not happen in indigenous groups for example, because there is no White Normativity in them && they embrace natural diversity in a majority of cases (or it just doesn't matter).

The bubble was burst, and the terms began being used wrongfully (see short answer) by perisex people — and in some cases, intersex people as well — as things varyingly, scarily different from their original meanings. This naturally has caused great damage not to the queer community (since everyone is, once again, being forced into THIS or THAT ideologies and boxes), but also for the intersex community itself.

The intersex community is now somewhat struggling 'n scrambling to find terms to replace AFAB/AMAB/AGAB, but given that it is no easy feat, it has remained a ongoing issue for us to solve eventually. I've came up with a few terms in my mind, but none come up properly enough — the creation of CAFAB and CAMAB (adding a "coercive" to the pre-existing terms) happened for this, but they also don't seem to work properly for the discussion because it ends up being confused as the misused AFAB/AMAB with a mysterious new letter in front of it.

Additionally, in light of helping perisex folks have their own word for the things they misused AFAB/AMAB for, the terms "OFAB" and "OMAB" were created — observed female/male at birth. While a lot of intersex people seem to be satisfied with this outcome, it hasn't solved much of anything regarding this situation AND it also sounds confusing to have "at birth", as well as sounding too similar to the original two terms. This is the latest part of this entire timeline; we are still figuring what to do to stop the appropriation of these terms while also offering better alternatives for all sides involved.

TL;DR — You are not of any ASAB or AGAB if you are not intersex AND were forced/coerced into changing things about yourself without being able to consent properly (by whatever means the lack of consent may be present). These terms mean things and have been heavily misused to the point of damaging both the overall queer community AND the intersex community. Intersex people have been BEGGING perisex folks to not use these terms ignorantly, but our pleas have been met with silence, willfull ignorance, or otherwise not being listened to/taken seriously. If one is perisex (or intersex without these experiences being at least hinted-at/possible), one is not "AMAB" or "AFAB".

—————————————————

I think that's all? This is somewhat similar to the situation with TME/TMA (the whole "being appropriated by the wrongest groups and turned into something moreso negative than positive in-use" ordeal), but that's a different can of worms. I hope this is somewhat easy to understand, maybe? Feel free to send additional asks about this, if so needed. I apologize if I sound harsh/blunt, I don't have a easy time conveying tone when explaining things (or in general). There is no biting, just explaining. ^,.,^

[messed-up-little-driftwood]

Y'all. This is straight from my messed up little brain. I don't even know what to label this other than: horrifically fucked and morally non-existant, and yet I wrote this to comfort myself during a bad night.

THIS WAS MADE FOR MY ENJOYMENT. I OPENED MY NOTES APP WHILE WATCHING HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES AND MY THUMBS JUST STARTED MOVING; I HAVE MY OWN MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES I'M WORKING THROUGH, AND WRITING HAS ALWAYS BEEN AN OUTLET FOR ME, SO......I GUESS I'LL SHARE SOME OF IT WITH THIS HELLSITE.

BY NO MEANS IS THIS ENCOURAGEMENT FOR YOU TO 'GET WORSE'. PLEASE STAY HYDRATED AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, AND HAVE A SNACK IF YOU HAVEN'T EATEN IN A WHILE.

I JUST LIKE WRITING DARK STUFF, IT IS THERAPUTIC FOR ME. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SEEK HELP IF YOU THINK THIS IS HOW HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS WORK.

IF YOU HAVE SELF-HARM ISSUES, I WOULD ADVISE YOU TO PROBABLY NOT READ THIS, BUT AS ALWAYS, YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE MEDIA YOU CONSUME, I'M NOT YOUR PARENT AND NOR DO I WISH TO BE.

I DO NOT give ANYONE permission to copy or repost my work.

(Going back to elementary school; if you have nothing nice or helpful to say, STFU.)

WARNINGS:

(self-harm, graphic depictions of cvtting and blood, Otis in general deserves his own warning. He calls you 'mama' and 'rabbit', 'bastard' once. No explicit gender is mentioned. Manipulation, but reader knows it's happening and likes it. Dubious consent — but no smut. Definitely and 100% romanticizing branding and mental health problems. Reader is severely mentally ill, and Otis exploits this for his own amusement. Blood!play, knife!play. Reader is down bad for Otis, and I wayyyy over-use ';' '—' these. — If I forget any, don't hesitate to let me know!!!!)

Dark content below cut. MDNI.

Otis Driftwood x Reader: Carve My Love

"Did you carve my name into your thigh?" Otis asks, looking from you, to the jagged lines on your thigh that spell his name like a bloody tattoo, and drip small droplets of blood across your skin like raindrops on a car window.

You glance down as if you were just remembering they were there; even though the knife is still resting at your side, dried blood on the edge that lays the whole situation out like blueprints for Otis' keen mind.

"....yes," you answer, trying to keep the confusion from your tone as you look at him for approval, merged with slight embarrassment. What were you gonna do — lie when the truth is spread like butter on hot toast?

He blinks for a moment, processing the situation, and can't deny the tug of possession in his chest when he sees your feeble attempt at marking yourself with his claim. Something primal awakens inside him — the kind of urge he normally gets before a kill; but he doesn't want to kill you. Not yet; not when you have so much simmering potential waiting to be pushed to the surface.

That he could push to the surface.

"You stupid bastard," he grumbles finally, after a silence far too long for your liking, and stalks forward. "That's not gonna scar. I'll give you a proper fuckin' brand."

And then he's grabbing the blade from your side; one rough hand holding down your thigh, and the other gripping the hilt of the blade with familiarity. It was his knife you were using, after all.

He doesn't ask permission, or give you any type of warning before he's pressing the tip of the knife back into the open wounds, pushing down deeper as he traces your previous lines. Deeper than the epidermis, past styro, and into the first fat layer. Your thigh twitches like a freshly slain bug as he drags the knife through layers of skin, and you hiss at the pain (or pleasure). Your fists grip the sheets as he works carefully, his own fingers digging into the fat of your thigh as the blade tears it open further to keep you still and as unmoving as possible.

Long fingernails break your skin as he holds you down to prevent the blade from slipping, therefore ruining the masterpiece. He's precise; the lines are sharp and perfect, which is unsurprising considering the years of carving people's skin off their bodies was basically all practice for this moment.

"There," he mumbles, drawing the blade back and brushing his thumb against the gaping, bloody slits, swiping the blood across your thigh like a painter's brush stroke. You inhale sharply at the sensation, both painful and satisfying. "Perfect. Now that's a fuckin' brand."

Otis licks your blood from his thumb as if it were melted chocolate; smooth and decadent.

"You know, not all blood tastes the same. Yours is... sweet; like the nectar of an angel," he says offhandedly, almost sarcastically, but there's more. He never drops compliments without some kind of catch.

He collects more blood, almost entranced as it rolls down your thigh in a steady stream; staining yet another pair of sheets as it drips onto the white cotton.

Otis sucks more crimson off his thumb with a pop and a satisfied hum.

"Makes me wanna bleed you dry."

You'd let him; he knows this. You've got this fucked up devotion thing down pat, and you were his even before you were officially branded by him — what's a little blood? A little more of you; like he was stealing pieces, aspects of you, and rearranging them in order how he saw fit. How it suited him best.

"What do you think, rabbit? Should I bleed you like stuck pig?"

You pause, staring at him. Most would call it Stolkholm Syndrome — but you know you were down bad the moment he manhandled you into his car all those years ago, giving you no option. He came at a good time too — life was too much. There were so many decisions, and you weren't good enough for anything to work out in your favour anyway — mental health dragging you down into the depths of your own hell, turning you into a college dropout and shell of everything you used to be.

He took all that away — filled you with lies, with corruption, and his crooked thoughts and opinions.

You didn't need to be coerced or convinced, or even forced, but why not be when you like being manipulated into his world? Molded into whatever he wanted, when he wanted: an enthusiastic play-thing, pet; sometimes partner, when he had his flashes of humanity.

"Can you do hearts?" you ask, blown pupils on Otis as you scoot a little closer, giving him more access to your bloody and scarred skin. It's both an answer and a request: Ruin me, but make it pretty.

There's something evil in the smile he gives you – with a small touch of what looked like admiration, maybe. Your devotion ran deep — maybe deeper than the marrow in your bones; and Otis wasn't one to lay idle and trust your words; he'd test them. Push the limits – see how far he can take it before you break. And then some.

This was like a game to him, and you were his favourite piece; malleable, trusting, and yet, intelligent. You know who he is. You choose to stay, even when given the option to run. And you stay; because yes, it's all horrific and toxic — but underneath it all, you know this is where you belong. You love who you get to be with him. There's no social expectation, it's just pure, disastrous instinct and loyalty. You get to be the animal inside you that craves the hazardous edge — the rush of danger and adrenaline; the acceptance of letting yourself go completely and become how fucked up you feel inside. Otis gave you that freedom. And maybe you liked the way he pushed you down, broke you, just to put you together again for his own amusement. Maybe you liked the game.

"How many you want, mama?" he asks, pressing the tip into your plush skin, but not pushing down just yet. He likes to watch you squirm, to try to get comfortable in place that's anything but — with him, no less.

"As many as you think I deserve," you reply breathlessly, letting your doubts and fears leave you, focusing only on this moment. Only on Otis.

"What makes you think you deserve any?" he asks, pushing the blade a little deeper; barely deep enough to break skin. Your breath hitches in your throat, searching your brain for answers.

Otis smiles at your desire to please him; to give him what he wants even if you have no fucking clue what it is.

"You don't know?" he pushes, and laughs chidingly, making you feel small and vulnerable. Just how he wants you — break you down to your bare-bones just so he can build you up again however he wants; rearrange your parts in full. "Well, then, I'll tell you what you deserve."

And then he's pushing the knife deep into your skin again — carefully, with a deliberate pressure that tells you he's more than aware of what he's doing to you. To your being. It's gross, disgustingly toxic— and yet, you feel like you've just won the lottery, despite your waning personhood.

"You deserve this," he tells you, tone purposeful, yet focused like he's simply explaining something nonchalant to you. "You deserve whatever I give you, because I know what's best for you. I own you."

You whimper at his words, his messed up version of love; of devotion, desire. This was a candle that shouldn't be lit, but fuck, you want it to burn like the flames of hell.

Otis grins, but it's not kindly. It's more predatory; the gaze you'd expect from a man who's about to take everything from you, and become everything to you. It's the grin of a man who knows he's already succeeded both feats.

"Awe," he hums, finishing the last curve of his first heart, and you're pushing your butt and heels into your bed, squirming with pain that feels euphoric. "You know I'm right, don't you?"

You nod as he looks at you with his head tilted slightly to the side so he can look down on you as if you were mere lint on his sleeve.

"My obedient, little, rabbit," he praises with a tone coated in velvet; like he were giving you a massage instead of cutting you open like a parcel. "Now, be good, and I'll carve your body into a work of art."

You nod again, watching closely, wordless and  mesmerized by the way the sharpened edge eases through the resistance of your skin with calculated precision. Otis looks utterly handsome; hair framing his face with a long tuft tucked behind his ear to keep it out of his face whilst he works. There's a peace that you can see within him, a kind of peace that simmers just below boiling. Similar to when he's working on his 'sculptures', he's finding a sense of calm as he works on your stinging flesh with deft swipes across the pulsing skin.

Otis' hand holds down your leg with little to no effort – but his grip is bruising nonetheless. He wants to mark you up — like a dog claiming it's territory. You are his, all his, and he be damned if you'd forget it.

Or anyone else. No one touches what's his, and that includes you.

You're scarred, bleeding from his love and violent affections — but Otis is like a drug. Addictive, and liable to ruin your life. It was something you'd accepted long ago — long before he had his claim on you.

"You look so pretty covered in blood, mama," he hums distractedly, but his eyes never leave his steady workmanship as he licks the side of his hand where some blood was stained onto it from his last heart. "Kind of makes me regret not killing you. Though, there's still time for that, isn't there?"

He's smirking, more than aware of his effect on you. The fear, mixed with growing anticipation and utter loyalty behind your blood-drunk gaze is like his kryptonite.

Soon enough, he's pausing his ministrations to grab your chin and force eye-contact on you with the knife to your throat this time, tracing gentle cat scratches across it. He wanted to see the confusion, the fear, the affection, all of it. You bore it all like a tattoo, and it got him bothered when you looked at him with so much trust. God, he wanted to ruin you — and he certainly would.

Knife pressing against your soft skin and his calloused fingers pinching your chin, he's pulling your mouth to his for a kiss that's basically all teeth. It's not friendly, not gentle or loving. It's raw, messy, unfiltered and possessive. Otis only has one goal in mind when he presses a finger to your open wound — and snickers against you when you whine into his mouth, giving him all the access to you he could want.

His hand slides up the back of your neck, grabbing a handful of your hair, only to tug it back, hard. You release a whimper, the action hurting pleasantly, but he bites down on your lip as if to tell you to shut up, and take what he's been kind enough to give you without bitching — and as if that wasn't threat enough, his knife presses firmly into your neck again; a reminder of who's in charge.

So you take it. You take his possessively hungry mouth; swallowing hums and groans, as well as a mixture of both your blood from chapped, bitten lips until he pulls away – looking satisfied with himself as he holds your chin to keep your eyes on him.

Blood is smeared on his mouth — it's unclear who's. Likely a mix of both, as if proof of some kind of blood oath.

He points the knife at you, tip pressing against your sternum."You're all mine now, needy little rabbit."

Otis let's go harshly, thumbnail scratching your bottom lip as he adjusts his grip on the hilt of his knife before resuming his tight grasp on the fat of your thigh to keep you still.

"And I'm gonna make you bleed for me until there's nothing left of you."

[forabeatofadrum]

It’s bloody Sunday. Hewwo everyone and thank you @you-remind-me-of-the-babe​, @thnxforknowingme​, @martsonmars​ and @larkral​ for the tags, hi back @cutestkilla​ and yes @caramelcoffeeaddict​ I am indeed tagging you!

To no one’s surprise, I have written nothing apart from my thesis. On Thursday I basically went “into the zone” (my teacher would apply the flow theory here) and I wrote for 3.5 hours and ever since Thursday I have been adding stuff, but it is mostly done. Mostly. I only need to do the more general theory on representation, but since it isn’t specifically queer, I care less lol. Basically right now my theoretical background is “Representation” (basic stuff), “Queer representation” (the consequences of queer rep, the history of queer rep, gay assimilation vs. queer liberation, queerbaiting, heteroflexibility, Bury Your Gays, intersectionality) and lastly “the queer gaze” (queer reading of texts, positive queercoding, queer female fandom).

But uhm, I am actually super duper proud of my work, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ have some stuff about why there might be more queer men in media than queer women:

First, gender is generally still portrayed in a skewed way: there are more men in the media than women (Daalmans et al., 2017; Gallagher, 2014). Second, intimate relationships between two female characters are more often seen as something platonic (Russo, 2014). As an extension of this, women who sometimes enter into relationships with other women are not portrayed as queer, but as heteroflexible (Annati & Ramsey, 2022; DeCeuninck & Dhoest, 2016; Diamond, 2005; Jackson & Gilbertson, 2009). This means that relationships between two women are portrayed as a joke, a phase, a party trick, or as a way to attract male viewers (Diamond, 2005). This heteroflexible portrayal is not necessarily a bad thing, as it can also promote the beginning of a discovery of a queer identity (Symes, 2017), but most often a heteroflexible storyline ends with a woman being affirmed that she is straight and therefore she is not a threat to the heterosexual order (Jackson & Gilbertson, 2009). This is also consistent with the 1990s “lesbian chic” movement, in which sexual relations between straight women were presented as a fun, provocative trend (Dow, 2001; McNicholas Smith, 2020).

These are actually six sentences. Original is under the cut.

Will y’all ever be able to read this? Who knows. People, both online and offline, have expressed interest, which delights me. There is a thesis repository at my university, but a) my thesis is unfortunately in Dutch and b) I am using a copyrighted cartoon. I actually have permission to use it from the cartoonist (fuck yeah), but I obviously only asked permission for the use within my faculty so I’ll have to e-mail her again.

And now, the weather: @quizasvivamos @blurglesmurfklaine @coffeegleek @esperantoauthor @otherworldsivelivedin @sillyunicorn @bazzybelle @dragoneggos @raenestee @tectonicduck @nightimedreamersworld @urban-sith @captain-aralias @takitalks @justgleekout @cerriddwenluna @tea-brigade @ivelovedhimthroughworse @moodandmist @whogaveyoupermission @bookish-bogwitch @confused-bi-queer @aroace-genderfluid-sheep @ionlydrinkhotwater @1908jmd @special-bc-ur-part-of-it @chen-chen-chen-again-chen @nausikaaa/@wellbelesbian @artsyunderstudy @facewithoutheart @shrekgogurt @boyinjeans​

 The Dutch one:

[the-90s-music-colosseum]

Round 4 Match 4

propaganda below the cut! (massive wall of text warning)

Miki Berenyi:

"shes the most beautiful woman i have ever seen. her hair is amazing and she's just gorgeous idk what else to say or how to fathom her beauty"

"I met miki berenyi a few weeks ago and shes the coolest and nicest person I've ever met so down to earth and nice and lovely which imo makes her incredibly hot"

"Founding mother of Shoegaze"

"I want to hold miki so tenderly and tell her jokes that make her laugh like we’re childhood friends and have a sleepover where we do each others makeup and then fuck so nasty the neighbors get alarmed and debate with each other whether or not to call the cops"

Brian Molko:

"Gender"

"IM GOING TO EAT HER. He is soooo beautiful and freakish and small and weird and girlfriend and tiny like a little princess bug fairy. Literally gorgeous she has to win"

"When he flipped over the table with the little limp wrist.... someone find the video"

"1998 woman of the year"

"Brian Molko is peak gender envy, gender bending and being yourself without caring about other people's opinion, on top of all that he is a great guitarist that writes amazing songs"

"Brian’s gonna win this. I think we all kinda know that."

"Tumblrinas would be nothing without Brian molko"

"Kills her kills her kills her kills her kills her kills him kills her. He's my everything <3"

"He came 10th in the list of hottest women sometimes in the 90s. Gender goals."

"No one in the world can sound so nasal and look so angelic....."

"don't you wish you had his gender"

"Single-handedly took my gender by the scruff of the neck and threw it in a washing machine at full speed. He talked about not expecting to "get away with" passing as a woman to the degree that he did when he started purposely presenting feminine. He talked about the importance to fuck with people's heads through his appearance and behaviour, the importance of ambiguity. About how being in the band allowed him to do stuff he couldn't have done otherwise, to exaggerate some of his traits. He had the fuck ass bob makeup nail polish dresses stuff down, but not in an overly sophisticated way, especially in the early career 90s days the vibe was more shabby punk rock chick. Also he fantasized about being in an all-girl band called Skirt and playing guitar and singing backing vocals in drag. According to a 1997 melody maker interview bandmate steve hewitt called him "the most confused woman he's ever known". And if you go down that rabbit hole there's just more of this. Lots of material to focus on if you like genderweird bisexual unclean libertines (song ref) who will just say Anything in interviews. It's fun."

"I've drawn him as saints and martyrs such as saint sebastian and joan of arc. Or all bloody lying in a wet alley after being thrown out of a club. Or unconscious on a snowy road. Or dying in a glue trap. Or shocked after seeing a dead body. Also as a nun and as rose mcgowan in the doom generation. This is because I'm normal."

"She's a sick little angel faced freak. My theythem girlboy queen. He reminds me of an ant. He's like 5 foot 4 or something. My goth girl boyfriend. <3"

[hollybluberry]

Idk if you do writing requests but

Pls do a platonic fic of Akasi and the reader where they both worry for Sarah because of her getting injured in the job.

alrighty!

I'm looking at google about head injuries, and other stuff mentioned in this fic. if I'm wrong or if there are some stuff needed to be corrected, pls tell me.

Worry

Fandom: Buckshot roulette

characters: Sarah, Akasi and Y/N (you ofc, also this is gender neutral)

Category: Platonic

warnings: Injuries, surgery and blood

plot: you are a bouncer (a security guard) in dealer's nightclub and you are close friends with Akasi, who works as a Doctor.

while in the job, you met Sarah and you began to worry when you saw her get injured.

legend:

(Y/N) - Your name

(Y/NN) - your nickname

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You were guarding the door of the nightclub, namely called the "Diabolical". you observed around the ground floor and just saw people dancing, drinking, etc.

As you were on observation, you noticed a commotion in the bar area. A patron was attacking a bloodied and injured female bartender with a broken beer bottle. then, you rushed immediately to get the angry drunken patron out of the club then go to check on the bartender if she's still alive and thankfully still feel a pulse. you then hurriedly carried the bartender to Akasi's clinic.

"Doc, need help here!" you yelled. Akasi then turned around and saw Sarah was injured and was in need of an emergency surgery. While you waited outside of the clinic as hours passed, Akasi then signalled that you can go in now.

"Is she good, Doc?" You asked the doctor. "Yeah, she was also losing alot blood and I removed alot of broken shards of glass on her head. thankfully, you saved her just in time." Akasi said as he readjusts his glasses. you noticed that he showed a face of worry as he looked at Sarah and he sighed.

"Is it always been like this?" You asked him as you looked at Sarah's unconscious body on the hospital bed then at Akasi. "Yes. it always has." Akasi answered.

"Sarah gets injured alot. first she fell on the stairs and dislocated her ankle. Second, is her getting beaten by other drunken and crackheaded patrons while serving a drink. then third, is this.." Akasi added as he looked at you.

you began worry and imagine how hard it is for Sarah. Getting constantly yelled at, beaten.. you felt bad for her.

the clinic was silent, then you noticed Sarah was slowly waking up. "uuggh.. w..what.. happened?" Sarah groggily said as she tries to get up. "whoa! whoa.. hold your horses. please rest, you just took a blow out there."

Sarah looked at you confused and asked. "wh..what? how long was I out?" "you were out for an hour. some drunken dude hit you with a beer bottle and thankfully I escorted him out of establishment... and possibly is also going to jail." you answered as you looked at Sarah.

"what time is it?" Sarah asked. "4:35 AM." Akasi answered. Sarah looked shocked as she heard the time. "What time did I get here?" Sarah looked at Akasi. "You came here by the time of 11:26 PM because (Y/N) saw you get hit by a drunk patron at the head with a bottle." Akasi answered then looked at Sarah, and added. "Also, I advice you rest. and since your shift is over, and someone should send you home."

"Oh don't worry about me. I can handle this myse-AUGH!!" as Sarah tries to finish a sentence, her words was cut off with a groan in pain as she held her head with both hands. "Damn it. that hurt.." Sarah hissed as she held her head, then was guided by Akasi to lie down back to the hospital bed slowly.

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"You should rest. also, I forgot to tell you that dealer will send you home. I reported the incident to him." You stated as you looked at Sarah. "Thanks.. also, i don't get your name." Sarah said as she nodded. "Oh yeah, I'm (Y/N) but people mostly call me (Y/NN). it's great to meet you." you said to Sarah with a smile. "(Y/N), huh? that's a wonderful name. it suits you. great to meet you (Y/N). I'm Sarah." Sarah said as you shook her hand. "Hey uh.. thanks for saving my life out there." Sarah said and thanked you. "You're welcome. I'm just doing my job." You said back to Sarah and she gave you a warm smile.

Phew! finally it's done. took me long cus I had to google stuff about head injuries and bouncers.

also have a sketch of injured sarah

she seriously needs rest and a day off.

[skeleton-in-a-hoodie]

Dead Doesn't Mean Gone is nowhere near Casey being introduced, but i'm really excited about him so thought I'd just dump all my headcannons for him so far here

His mum's mexican, not sure about his dad.

Lives with his grandma and little sister - this version of Arnold Jones is, unfortunately, a complete asshole, so when Casey was about 13 and Robyn 7 their grandma got custody.

He actually met Raph before he lived with his grandma. They both play hockey, so played for different teams. At first they were mostly rivals, but it quickly developed into friendship.

Casey doesn't really talk about his dad to Raph and there's a lot of reasons why. At the time Casey was very much like "he's my dad and he loves me, if I tell anyone they'll completely misunderstand the situation." Like he's protective of his loved ones, and felt he had to defend his dad, even if his dad's actions were awful. Plus he knows that Raph lives in a children's home, so he felt awkward talking about Arnold (Raph doesn't actually mind when people talk about their dads).

After Casey moves, Raph knows that something happened with his dad, but Casey won't talk about it. Raph's grown up around a lot of different kids, so he knows there's a lot of potential reasons Casey and Robyn are living with their grandma now, so he decides to wait for Casey to tell him and just be supportive in the meantime.

Casey is afraid of rats - there was a bad experience with them in his childhood.

Raph mentions Splinter to Casey but doesn't go into much detail. Casey just knows that Raph and his brothers have an adoptive dad who can't legally adopt them, most likely due to an unknown illness.

Unknown to Casey, he has met Splinter already. Unfortunately, it was during the time of night Splinter isn't himself. This did not help his fear of rats at all. (Splinter didn't hurt him, just scared him pretty badly.)

Screamed bloody murder the first time he met Splinter properly. Was then super confused cause "Raph, this is your dad!? He's a gaint talking rat!","Technically he's a rat demon", "Not helping Donnie!"

Does warm up to Splinter. Eventually Casey does end up seeing Splinter as a father figure, but due to *gestures at Arnold* doesn't feel comfortable calling him dad so instead it's either Splinter or Tio.

Has a lot of confusing feelings about his gender that he was not ready to get into after moving (This Casey is genderfluid). Starts figuring stuff out when he's roughly 15 and comes out not long after.

The fam are all very supportive! (Most of them are LGBTQ+)

Makes her own skates.

Splinter sees them and asks if Casey wants to learn metal forging.

(If you listen very closely, you can hear Leo's blood pressure rising.)

Donnie and Casey bond over making things in the garage. The earn some money by fixing people's cars and stuff after school/on weekends. When Donnie goes to university, Casey keeps at it and opens her own mechanic's shop.

Skateboards with Mikey and watches horror movies with him. Sometimes they'll watch horror anime together.

Casey at Leo "Aren't you tired of being nice. Don't you ever just wanna go apeshit?" Also sometimes they'll talk about what it's like being the oldest sibling and having to borderline raise yourself and them.

Not sure yet if she learns ninjutsu officially, but she does pick up a lot of stuff from the brothers and April. She knows how to box.

Watches anime and got into Japanese punk and metal bands.

Finds the forest deer unsettling as all hell. Does not get why Mikey is so fond of it.

Once tried to summon a demon with April (Girls Night!) and laughed so hard she couldn't breath when the ritual spat Splinter out (Splinter yelped). April was swinging between excited that it worked and wanting to know why it dragged Splinter in, meanwhile Casey is curled up in the corner wheeze-laughing