#blood of hercules

[wordsmithic]

Anglophone Greek Myth retellings demand money from you, and then they have this much nonsense in just one page......

1. Patroclus' name is shortened to "Patro" and the writer believes it to be the coolest name. Meanwhile it's like shortening "George" to "Geor" 😂

2. He's also called "Sex" and "The Son of Sex" which sound weird even in English. Idk if it's supposed to come from the Latin "sextus" but in any case the logic and the sound are horrible.

3. Why is Patroclus adjacent with anything Spartan, and even called Spartan?? And his House is Spartan. Perhaps he was born in this life as a Spartan (whatever that means) but og Patroclus was characteristically not Spartan. Do Anglophone writers die when they write about other Greek cities except Sparta, Athens and Thebes?? Genuine question because I don't know at this point. Would it kill the author to have here the name of the region Patroclus is from?

Actually I even doubt that the author did a basic Google search for the origins of the character who inspired her. Not to mention she uses "Spartan" like it's a faction or a family, as if Sparta and Spartan people are not real today.

4. Nemean jaguar?? (as in, from Nemea, Greece). Is "Nemea" another gang so all their animals are described by Nemean? I doubt it, cause the phrasing "Animal Protector: Nemean Jaguar" makes it look like "Nemean" is the animal's origin. Has future Greece been populated by a distinctly American animal? This is probably a play on "Nemean Lion" and it sounds quite stupid.

Excuse my harshness. I don't speak like this to writers I consult. BUT this is a published work??? And hear this: The problem is not the fantasy/futuristic setting or any other creative thing the writer has thought. But there are elements of a real culture there, and they're written like shit. If one page is like this, I can't imagine how nonsensical the whole work is. And she wants us to pay for this book??

How do you spend months or years writing and then publishing something for money without getting it fact-checked?? How can you just write nonsense and sell it as if Greeks don't exist out there and as if your audience is stupid?

Writers who don't want to write elements of another culture accurately are like the comedians who complain they can't do comedy anymore because of "cancel culture".

Anyway if you don't want to end up writing a fuckfest of idiocy, please let me (or someone else) be your Greek Cultural Sensitivity reader because we Greeks are ddyyyyiiing out here with all the bullshit we see every day 🫠

[losergender]

i tried to open chapter 7 earlier and my computer literally crashed i couldn't make this up if i wanted

"he almost sounds... kind" no he doesn't get yourself together

"the annoying part was patro was right" what does this sentence mean. nvm just understood it o7

she cares so much about classical music for no reason T___T

we got lore on the snake pet. apparently she's another spartan's animal protector but her guy is "gone"

THE SNAKE IS FLIRTING WITH A JAGUAR??? AND THEY'RE SAPPHIC??? AND THE SNAKE JUST CALLED THE PROTAG HOMOPHOBIC WHAT?!?!DFGF

they leave her clothes in her bedroom for her and they give her like a bra in every size possible for her to choose from and i think that's actually a good detail idk

oh of course spartan blood is too acidic to test. of course. how could i not think of that.

she's fluent in ASL but i don't think it was ever mentioned which is a bit random (specially when w her being hoh could have been quite easy to bring up) (then again the author doesnt seem to remember shes hoh and visually impaired very often)

"maybe it's always been awkward. i tended to have that effect on people, specially men" please shut up

i see 0 chance of these two men being horribly and uncalledly mean because of hidden personal reasons that have shaped their personality (which with how straight up abusive they are is not enough) and i'm sure it's gonna be a "they were born like this!" situation which is even worse and ew

"swearing is a sign of a weak mind" you've been swearing the whole book

"i wasn't sure i had ever felt pleasure" not even 3 chapters ago when you were watching porn in the school library? :( really?

"our power would rip you through shreds from the inside out. it would tear you to pathetic pieces and BOIL YOUR WOMB" when they inevitably have horribly written sex i hope his dick is 2 inches

"sounds like an average menstrual cycle" rare protagonist W

STOP MENTIONING YOUR EMMY NOETHER AND CARL GAUSS FANFICTION FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

"do you have math books?" "no. i'm not a loser" okay i did chuckle

this world building sucks so bad that i have to pause my sweet maisie peter's "want you back" to fully comprehend this shit

"there was a strange creaking, a groan, heavy panting and more creaking" please tell me those fanfics taught you enough to not go check plsplspls

NOT THE EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ITALIAN FROM HER DREAMS AGAIN. (he's telling her she'll survive) (at least i think it's a him) oh he's not even being supportive he's also really mean

the evil mental test she has to survive has the following categories:

"thagorean" (maths ft. philosophy). why would she split pythagoras' name? i don't understand

"lost classical lore" this cannot be serious

"discipline and power (d and p for short)" there's a marina song about that

bonding with an animal protector

no comments

btw they just assumed her father is zeus based on the fact that she's blonde (but ig that if she has to be hercules it makes sense)

"i wasn't a bird girl. no one had proved birds weren't spying on us" alexis for the love of jesus christ and his virgin mother

"why were they always flying" BECAUSE THEIR LEGS ARE SHIT THEY'RE BIRDS ALEXIS

i hate this guy but i can't blame him

important piece of info but in chapter one she mentions this one neighbor that was so insufferable that someone had tried to kill him by hitting him with a shovel in the head and she keeps talking about stuff he used to say and she says "paul (pre-shovel)" and "paul (post-shovel") all the time

why are you ancient greek and wearing a toga

"one boy in the group wore a golden laurel crown" omg zagreus!!

i don't get why if there are so little of these guys and so little of their women why they're so insistent on killing everyone. like call me crazy but one would think that not killing people reduces the death rates by a bunch

welcome to sunny reacting to stuff in which sunny reacts to stuff. in this tumblr post, we're dealing with blood of hercules (the i'm a girl and as it turns out i'm hercules book) because i'm doing So Bad Mentally that i am in dire need of something that will make me laugh.

chapter 1 reaction below

montana?? out of all states?? okay go off

"kids at school called it apocalytic core. i called it hell" already laughing. i love my life decisions.

SUPERSEED I'M SORRY WHAT?

"if you wanted to live (i didn't)" you and me both bestie

does the author know verb tenses

i'm saying so little bc otherwise the post would be huge. every single sentence is hilariously bad this is so silly

summary if anyone is interested -> pretty unclear dystopian setting, 10-yo befriends an echidna named nyx and then gets a foster brother delivered to her room the next day. the titans are like superhumans killing normal people and the "spartans" are 12 protector families (8 are olympian, 4 are cthonic and those are dangerous murderers or something).

[withswords]

if you gave blood of hercules 5 stars the government should test your house for lead free of charge

[alatismeni-theitsa]

Can't pretend I didn't enjoy watching this salty, salty rant! Turns out the book is even worse than I expected, not just for cultural reasons, but because it fails to be a good book, in general 😖 Why are sooo many people buying this??

[proceduralbob]

The devil has a pretty face, and humanity is going to hell for worshipping it.

Blood of Hercules, Jasmine Mas

[la-era-atomica]

*Putting on my tinfoil hat* The reason Blood of Hercules is bad because it's not meant to be read. It's meant to be bought by a popular tiktok influencers, put it in a tiktok with jalapeño emojis, and thrown into a dusty closet.

[akhillaous]

So blood of Hercules is fucking awful

[monkeyfishgirl]

The fact that she uses 'venomous' correctly is sending me

[starlightparks]

haven't done one of these in a while but pick my next read!!

[imaginejolls]

sometimes, reading a bad book is good for the soul

[kwilber-art]

The Blood of Hercules gang

📚: blood of Hercules by Jasmine Mass

[relovaaa]

Hey gang. What the fuck. Is this shit.

[wordsmithic]

I need someone I can express my horrified awe at Blood of Hercules with. Not only did Mas poorly blend Onyx Path’s Scion Second Edition with Garth Ennis’s The Boys, she fucking threw Kelley Armstrong’s Otherworld series and Harry Potter fanfic in there!

Rant freely! I don't want to read this book - unless there are many requests for it - but I am morbidly excited to learn what other stupid things the author has done 😂 I'm not familiar with the Onyx Path’s Scion Second Edition or The Boys, sadly

[curiouscalamitys]

Okay, so, I already had low expectations for Blood of Hercules, as many reviews I'd read had said it was poorly written. I was not expecting it to begin with the pov of a 10-year old foster girl living in a trailer park in Minnesota with foster parents that make and sell moonshine...

Also, if Augustus is meant to be her love interest, as Ares' heir, she is currently 11 and he is in his 20's...

[krmdoodles]

My book art typically doesn’t do well here but I decided to doodle Patro and Achilles from Blood of Hercules <3

Also stfu idc if you disliked the book it was funny asl

[s4f3r]

i was ten years old, banging my wrists against rocks to get out of ropes