#blood of Zeus

[anotheroceanid]

Hermes: You know, Pinocchio could tell us so much about the universe! He could randomly claim stuff like “The Big Bang happened” and his nose would confirm or deny our theory.

Apollo: Pinocchio’s not omniscient, you dumb fuck! His nose only grows when he’s intentionally being dishonest!

Artemis: Things are heating up in the Pinocchio fandom…

[roguerambles]

Hermes: *struggling through Reader's Temple against howling winds and pouring rain, thunder shaking the building, hanging onto his hat* "DID YOU ANGER ZEUS OR SOMETHING--"

Reader: "Hermes?" *bedroom door swings open to find them standing there naked. The storm abruptly calms* "What...what are you doing here--"

Hermes: "Looking for you! Aphrodite is hosting the feast tonight, she wants you there--why aren't you dressed?"

Reader: "...I don't have any clothes."

Hermes: "First, that would hardly bother Aphrodite. Second, you have countless clothes!" *opens closet before Reader can stop him* "See? Dress, gown, tunic, hello Father, dress--"

[netflix]

*Not all Greek Gods listed because we ran out of space.

[dream--interrupted]

tfw your boyfriend is dramatic af

[elianzis]

AHAHAHHA HOW TO STOP LAUGHING ABOUT THIS SCENE HE HAS TRAUMA OH MY GOD

[cassianandfenrysaremyboyos]

Look at young Seraphim! Look at him happy!

[sunshines-child]

THIS FUCKING SCENE

“Sorry bro, last time I did that my lover died and I had to change him into a flower and cry at a bar for a year”

[demigoddessqueens]

In another life….

I would have loved doing laundry and taxes with you

[frozenrose20]

Greek myth retellings are so funny to me because what do you mean these are all the same person

[dragologist]

ɪғ ɪ ᴡᴀs ᴀ ʙᴀᴅ ʙɪᴛᴄʜ

ɪ ᴡᴀɴɴᴀ ғᴋ ᴍᴇ ᴛᴏᴏ

~ ɴʟᴇ ᴄʜᴏᴘᴘᴀ

[strongest-angel-in-heaven]

Poseidon from Blood of Zeus and for the poseidon's simps, here..

[roguerambles]

Apollo: "Ah, Hermes. I wasn't expecting you here."

Hermes: "I could say the same to you. Where is--?"

Reader: "Ah, there you both are. Thank you for arriving at such short notice. I require your assistance in a...delicate matter."

Hermes: "So you asked Apollo?"

Apollo: *elbowing Hermes* "Always happy to assist, my dear. What do you need exactly? I thought you'd be distracted with Hera trying to marry you off."

Reader: "It's about that, actually. I would like to have sex with you both."

Hermes: "...."

Apollo: "...."

Hermes: "...pardon?"

Reader: "Hera is pressing me to marry Ares. I don't particularly want to, and if she catches me in bed with the two of you, she won't either. Everybody wins, yes?"

Apollo: "....her logic is flawless, Hermes--"

Hermes: "Apollo!"

Apollo: "I mean... *clears throat* "My dear, as...enticing an offer as that is, I don't think--"

Reader: *starts walking towards the bedroom*

Apollo: "...Hermes, talk me out of this."

Hermes: "It will infuriate Ares and Hera."

Apollo: *striding after Reader, tugging Hermes along* "Damn it, I said talk me out of it!"

[thesillybabe]

how NOT to throw a discus 101 featuring this guy

[kawaiigirly21]

These hits looked personal. Let me find out Apollo was mad about Dionysus suggesting he'd throw a discus because of his trauma lmao

[idontknowwhatimdoinglol]

Yandere Apollo x reader (escape) - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

you ran through the forest near the base of Olympus, the branches scraped against your arms and face but you couldn't stop you had to escape from him. The man who stole you from your life as a mortal and forced you to become immortal, your husband. he loved you, no one could deny that, he showered you with gifts and kisses and cuddles. but you had to escape you couldn't be locked away on Olympus always under his watch. since it had been dark you hadn't noticed the branch that had fallen from a tree and tripped over it falling flat on the ground, when you stood your eyes were covered by a warm hand, and you could feel a similar warm glow as well, knowing he had found you. "found you sunshine". he says holding you tightly to his chest, kissing your wrist gently as he holds your arms. "I was so worried when I returned from my duties and you were missing, I thought that someone had taken you," he says with a threatening smirk. you knew that he was only acting, this wasn't the first time you had run away after all, he loved playing this game of chase with you acting as if you were mad for leaving him. "i-i am sorry, I promise I won't do it again" you say trying to free yourself from his grip. he lets out a laugh that was laced with his obsession tightening his grip on you. "oh but darling you have said that so many times, and yet you continue to run" he whispers in your ear, with threats balancing on his tone. then his skin began to heat up, at first slightly warm but increasing slowly becoming too hot to bear. in a panic you struggle against him only earning your wrists held tighter in his grasp. "please stop! I won't run again I promise!" you cry out, earning a smirk from him as he becomes cool again nuzzling your neck, he smiles, kissing your neck as if he hadn't tried to burn you a minute ago. "now let us go home darling, it is getting late" he says taking you hand as if he was a gentle lover and guiding you back to your home on Olympus.

- - - - - . o 0 O 0 o . - - - - -

[simping-overload]

ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴅᴀᴍɴ ᴅᴇᴇʀ - ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ ʜᴜɴᴛɪɴɢ

a/n: showing my love for my favorite Greek God of all time, Hermes<3 this is a multichapter fanfic.

trigger warnings: animal hunting so animal death. Religious themes and practices

synopsis: You never thought helping out a lost hobo would end up with you in the loving embrace of a god.

『read on ao3』

『prev chapter ⟺ next chapter』

disclaimer: hermes is based on his BOZ, EPIC, and canon mythology. I don't really know how ancient greece actually was or how hunting works so take this with a grain of salt! It is just fanfiction :)

You come from a village that has been long-term worshippers of the goddess, Artemis. Each year, the village holds a festival, Laphria¹. With this festival, of course, comes activities, the most important being the hunt. Where 3 main selected participants, who were allowed to bring at the maximum two others along the hunt with them, they were to hunt down a large stag, whoever was to bring back the largest wins.

The reward would entail being given a large sum of money and being allowed to worship the goddess to the fullest extent, which means you'd get to say your prayers before everyone, including the high elders.

This year, you were finally chosen for the hunt, much to the joy of your family and friends. You were their best hunter and tracker, able to find an animal with ease regardless of how little the evidence that has been left behind.

After passing a familial trail—hunting a snow hare in the middle of snowstorm— you were gifted a beautiful pup who you named Winston². The two of you were jointed at the hip. There wasn't a place you'd go without him. This included the hunt.

You decided to bring two of your beloved friends along, Damian and Agnes. You set off at dawn, racing into the trees on the back of your horses, Winston running ahead as the scout.

Agnes and Damian were chattering away behind you as you looked over the map. You wanted to try and plan out all paths you could safely use.

"So...do you think if I win this, it would get Corinna at the very least interested in me?" Damian questions, fiddling with the horses' reins. He had a crush on Corinna ever since they were teens, spending most of his time trying to impress her— which failed considering he always made a fool of himself.

Agnes, bless her, rolling her eyes as she listens to Damian rant, just as the millions times before. She's been friends with him since they were babies. Both of their mothers were the best of friends, so it makes sense they were too.

You didn't come into the picture until you were about 7 or so, moving here to take care of your grandmother after she got sick.

You met Agnes when your mother invited hers over, and then her mother invited Damian's over. You all were just placed in front of each other and expected you all to click automatically. Thankfully, you did, and you've been friends ever since.

"Probably, but you need to remember Nikolaos is in this competition too, I know he's been desperate to get her hand as well." She pauses as her horse jumps over a fallen tree. She looks back at Damian with a blank stare and continues. "And also this could've been avoided if you just grew a pair of balls and confessed."

"I can't just do that— I need to get her attention first. Maybe we'll find that white stag the elders ramble about." Damian giggles as he pictures Corinna leaping into his arms and saying yes to his proposal. He was such a lovesick fool.

"Or maybe she's already interested and is waiting for you to confess. I've heard its custom in her family for the woman to wait for the man to ask, no matter how long it takes." You chime in, not looking up from your map.

"Wait wh—" Damian is cut off when a large gray wolf jumps from out of the trees, holding a white hare in its mouth.

Your horse, startled, bucks you off its back, sending you to the forest floor. You're now eye level with the wolf, noticing how its eyes are an unnatural golden color.

You and the wolf stared each other down for a moment before it huffed and leaps back into the trees. Agnes drops down from her horse and rushes to your side, while Damian goes off to fetch your horse.

You snapped out of your daze when you felt something wet touched your cheek. It was Winston, licking at you and whining in concern.

You pat his head to calm him, and you lean on Agnes for support as you stand. She brushes the dirt and leaves off your back.

"Hey, you okay?" She questions, her freckled face is laced with concern.

You feel fine, a little sore, but nothing you hadn't been through before. There was something about that wolf that just stuck with you, "Yeah, I'm fine. That wolf, though... its eyes were like pure gold."

"Maybe it's one of Lady Artemis' wolves? It wouldn't be the first time she's watched over the hunts." She suggests, steppingaway from you once you've steady yourself. Damian comes back with your now calm horse, handing you the reins.

"I suppose? Though I never heard of a wolf having pure gold eyes before... Anyway, Winston, did you see anything?

Winston barks in reply, his tail wagging before he runs off. You mount your horse and begin to follow him. You motion the other two to do the same.

Winston leads you to what looks to be a temple, one that seems to have been neglected for years. Nature has taken over, vines have trickled up and wrapped themselves around the columns, and grass and flowers grow from the cracks of the floor. The usual pure white of the marble has faded into a off white tan color with a thin layer of moss across the surface.

"Let's make sure the area is safe for us to set up camp here. Agnes, check out the back of the temple, and Damian, you'll start with the outer perimeter. I'll start with the inside. Regroup to the front once you're sure no one else has been here."

Agnes nods, and Damian gives an alright in response before going back into the forest. You dismount your horse, tying it to a loose fence post. You make your way up the cracked stone steps and into the temple.

The rays of sun lit the inside of the temple, illuminating the illustrations that line the walls and ceilings. Going off of the winged shoes on the god that was illustrated, this was a temple of Hermes. You wonder if there was ever a village that was here before yours that were worshippers of him.

Your search around the temple came up empty, with no human activity. Only animals and plants seemed to have been inside. You leave the temple in time to see with Damian and Anges coming back.

"There doesn't look like there's anyone for miles, only animals. I saw the cutest fox kits." Anges says.

"Same here, though I wasn't blessed with seeing any cute aniamls today." Damian pouts, dismounting his horse, kneeling down next to Winston to ruffle his fur, "Expect for this bugger." Winston barks and licks the man's hand.

You chuckle, "Looks like it's safe to set up camp here, we'll need to find something to eat, so I'll try and find something for us. You two just set up camp and remember to use the horn if anything happens."

They give you mock salutes in response before they begin to take the supplies off the horses and into the temple. You mount yours and whistle for Winston to follow as you trot off into the woods.

It doesn't take you long to hunt something down. After finding some boar tracks, Winston leads the rest of the way to the creature. Upon finding it, you ready your bow, steadying yourself on the moving horse as you focus your aim on the boar.

You suck in a breath, drawing back your arrow and whispering a short prayer to Artemis as you relase. The arrow pierces through the side of the boar, straight to the heart, quick and painless.

Suddenly, you hear a loud scream, and off in the distance, you can see someone running towards you with what looks like a... deer? Chasing after them. Winston stands alert, ears perked, and focused on the person getting closer to you. You hold your reins tight while Winston moves in front of the horse.

The person turned out to be Nikolaos. You spot his signature ginger hair showing from under his hood before he trips over a log and face plants in front of you. He doesn't try to exchange pleasantries as he scrambles up to keep running.

The deer came soon after, gracefully hopping over the log. It glanced at you for a meer moment, giving you enough time to see its golden eyes. The same color from the wolf.

You hop down off your horse, making your way to the boar.

You are for sure this time that it wasn't Artemis. Maybe some other god?

You wrap the boars legs tight with string as you bring it back to your horse, settling it on the rear. Positioned so it won't slip off, you mount your horse once more before going back the direction you came.

As you make your way back. Your mind wanders back to Hermes. It could be him. After all, he's one of the more playful gods known for his pranks and tricks. You'll have to make an offering to him for letting you sleep in the temple, regardless if it's abandoned or not, and so he doesn't prey on your friends like he did Nikolaos.

By the time you made it to camp, it was dusk. Agnes greets you outside, taking the horse reins from you. You take the boar off of the horse, taking off to the side as you make quick work of the animal, cutting off the hide and chopping the pieces of meat you need. You leave whatever is left for Winston and the other forest creatures to feast.

Damian is quick to start cooking. Thankfully, his mother was kind enough to pack spices so your group wouldn't have to suffer tasteless food.

Until the sky went dark, you spent the rest of your time eating and talking. Damian nearly choked on his food when he heard you recant the experience in the woods earlier. He says he wishes he could've seen the look on that bastards face when he was running away. Agnes jokes that Nikolaos probably looked like a scared chicken. Which admittedly, he did, come to think of it, his screams sounded like the human equivalent of one.

As the night went on, it got quiet, Damian was the first to sleep, and Agnes was next. Winston is sprawled out in between them, snoring away. Before you rest, you bring a plate of food and burning incense to the altar.

You whisper, "Please, Hermes. The God of speed and travel grant us permission to make sanctions in your temple. If you disapprove, we will be out as the sun rises. Take this food as a thank you for allowing us to sleep here for the night." You pause. "Also... please refrain from chasing us as a deer or anything else for that matter. While it was funny what you did to Nikolaos, I would rather not soil my pants." You chuckle, placing the food onto the alter and the incense in a dusty holder.

You go back to your original resting place, leaning against the pillar. You feel a soft and comfortable breeze flow through the temple. The sounds of the trees rustling soothe you into a nice slumber.

Still in deer form, Hermes walks through the woods, no set destination just allowing the fates to choose where he will end up. Faintly, he can hear someone whisper a prayer.

"Please, Hermes. The God of speed and travel grant us permission to make sanctions in your temple. If you disapprove, we will be out as the sun rises..."

It was not often that he received prayers, especially not in his sisters park of Greece. He lets the prayer pull him towards the location.

Switching to his human form, he approaches the temple. It was one of his firsts. A gift to him by his father. While unkept, it still stood strong.

He sniffs the air, a familiar smell, boar. Not only did he get a prayer, but he got an offering, too? Just what he needed after chasing the mortals.

He giggles as he makes his way inside, involuntary waking up Winston, who was silenced a quick shush and a pat to the head.

Hermes looks around at the mortals who sleep before him. Wondering who said the prayer, his eyes land on you. Still leaned against the pillar, head thrown back against it. Your hand is tightly wrapped around a dagger. Ready to strike if need be.

He studied your face for a moment, his hand twitched with the desire to trace over your features. You were very attractive for a mortal, and judging from the faint golden aura he could see emitting from you, you're the one who prayed.

He steps away with a grin, making his way to the alter. He picks the plate up, nearly drooling on the food. As much as he'd love to take his time eating, he's a glutton. In seconds, the plate is empty. He holds back a burp as he makes his way back out of the temple, glancing at you as he makes his way out.

Well, he's going to have some fun on this vacation.