#blood don’t exist in sonic games so uh-

[madychi]

Just some doodles of Sonic from my L0st.BAT exe au

[joel-millerr]

Kijimi

Chapter One of We Are One When Together  (formerly A Mandalorian and a Smuggler)

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 8.5K

Warnings: Reader cauterizes a wound, so read with caution if that makes you uncomfortable

Summary: You've become quite a good spice smuggler. You always managed to evade capture, and now the New Republic is getting desperate. After meeting a friend on Kijimi, you planned to get the hell off that planet quietly, but you've never had to deal with someone like The Mandalorian. // This chapter establishes the reader and is more of an introduction than plot driven tbh 

A/N: I’ve never written a second person POV before so pls be gentle. Also, this story takes place after Chapter 12. 

You're sitting in a booth at the back of the cantina. Periodically, you take the time to scan your surroundings. There’s a steady flow of individuals coming in and out, therefore it’s hard to keep track of everyone, but you try to monitor their movements anyway. Being in such a crowded area is risky right now, but when Tye asked you to meet him on Kijimi, you couldn’t pass up the opportunity to catch up. Besides, you’re currently on a work hiatus, and now seemed like the perfect time to get back into the spice smuggling game.

It’s not that you wouldn’t have been able to do anything else. You’re quite skillful with your hands because you used to help your father fix ships back on Tatooine. Theoretically, you could have kept doing that for the rest of your days, but there was always a part of you deep down that made you believe you were meant for more important things. Granted, this isn’t exactly what you had in mind, but it is considerably more exhilarating than just cleaning and fixing ships.

It was Tye who first mentioned this “job”. You were busy fixing a T-14 hyperdrive generator that had been destroyed during a dumb gambling game of chicken. Why people would purposely charge at each other in space, you’ll never understand.

Anyway, he knew you were starting to get tired of the same routine every day. He could see it in the way your shoulders slumped while you were working, and how your voice grew tired of talking about re-wiring, and the maintenance of spaceships.

Ever since you were a child, your father had taken you with him to work and you loved it. You loved being able to spend time with your father and also learn the ins and outs of any spaceship. You could probably take a whole ship apart and put it back together in less than a week, but ever since your parents died, the work became mundane and repetitive. You no longer enjoyed doing the work. You did it just to get by.

“It’s a fairly easy job,” He started to say. You were sitting with your legs crossed, hyperdrive in your lap, rewiring the chunk of metal. “We meet the manufacturer on Kijmi and then come back to Tatooine and bring it to the client.”

“I don’t know, Tye,” You craved adventure, but your friend had a bad habit of getting into trouble. Unlike you, he didn’t have a steady job. Instead, he took whatever was offered to him, no matter how legit it was. You were usually the voice of reason and tried your best to get him on a straight path, but his spirit always craved danger, and while you fantasized about going on epic adventures, you tried to keep it on the legal sides of things.

Tye laid a hand on your shoulder, and in turn you looked up at him. His eyes were gentle, inviting and trusting. More often than not, you attempted your best to avoid his gaze whenever he tried to reel you into something because you knew as soon as you’d look at him, your walls would come crumbling down and whatever he asked you to do would get done. You crossed your left arm over your torso, placed your hand over his, and let a deep breath escape your lips.

“What are we transporting?” You asked, rising to your feet to look at him properly.

He hesitated to answer. Biting down on his bottom lip, his eyes broke contact and shifted down to his feet.

“Tye?” You inquired, leaning down to try to catch his eyes again.

“Uh…” His hand began rubbing the nape of his neck. You came to the conclusion by his behavior that this job wasn’t going to be something along the lines of transporting pieces of scrap metal and he knew you very rarely took on an illegal job. You had done maybe one or two over the years but if you could avoid it, you tried to keep your employment on the side that wouldn’t get your ass thrown in a cell.

“What’s the transport, Tye?” Your voice was more stern this time. This seemed to snap his mind back into reality and he finally met your eyes.

“Spice,” His voice was barely above a whisper and if you weren’t entirely focusing on his tone, you wouldn’t have heard him at all. Your muscles went rigid and you swallowed the lump in your throat you didn’t know was there. Once the empire fell, the New Republic had the impossible task of trying to keep the peace as well as police the entire galaxy, and wherever they were unable to properly govern, spice runners thrived. You had heard stories about spice runners. How every single one was a highly wanted criminal but were almost impossible to find. They worked quietly and discreetly and were able to smuggle spice on pretty much every corner of the galaxy.

“It’s foolproof. They supply the ship and give the location. All we have to do is meet the supplier on Kijimi and then bring the product back here. It’s simple enough,”

You began shaking your head immediately. The risk of getting caught was too high, and spice running was a hard limit for you.

“No, I can’t. What you’re asking is insane, Tye. Spice running?” You emphasized the last two words to make sure you heard him clearly.

“I wouldn’t have offered it to you unless I was absolutely sure nothing bad would happen.” Tye reached out and gently pressed his palm to your elbow, begging you to hear him out. “I can see you don’t love doing this anymore. Ever since your parents passed, I could see the passion disappear. It’s completely drained out of you. We do this one job and then you can go back to fixing hyperdrives in this kriffing hangar.” He waved his arms around the store. “Don’t you want to see what else is out there?”

You opened your mouth to protest but the words never came. He was right. Since you were a child, you dreamed of leaving Tatooine. You were tired of the sand, of the heat, of the kriffing dryness that was always eating at your skin. You dreamed of worlds where lush green ran rampant. Trees that grew so high you couldn’t make out the top. Grass that would tickle your hips as you travelled through it. Clean, fresh oxygen instead of the dry, dirty air you had grown accustomed to here. You had heard stories from travelers whose ships you’d fix about waterfalls, lakes, beaches. A large body of water? All these things you couldn’t even fathom. How beautiful must it be to live on a planet where water wasn’t fucking scarce. What did an actual shower feel like? Not some sonic shower that merely got you sterile enough to do about your daily business, but an actual shower, with water.

So yeah, you wanted to get the fuck off of Tatooine, but was this really the only option you had?

Tye could sense your apprehensiveness, but he knew the idea was tempting. Closing the gap between you, he wrapped his arms around your body. He was much larger than you, and you almost disappeared in his embrace. Taking a deep breath in his chest, you let yourself imagine a better life.

A life where you got to visit new worlds, encounter people from different walks of life, an existence where you truly got to experience the greatest things the galaxy had to offer. As a child, you’d lie in your cot and wish for an extraordinary life. One you could recount to your kids with awe, not wasting your years away on a desert planet that no longer had anything to give you. When your family passed away, you worked yourself to the bone, trying to lose yourself in repairing ships. You wished someone; anyone, would help you escape off this godforsaken wasteland one day.

You’d regret not taking the risk, you thought to yourself.

Before you knew the words had slipped from your lips, you were agreeing to the job.

You’ve been a spice runner ever since, and you were pretty damn good at your job too. Since your frame was relatively small, it was easy for you to slip in and out of towns without ever being seen, and because you had been working on crafts your whole life, you had become pretty good at flying them too. You had made an impressive name for yourself. Even if you had someone on your tail, you were always able to lose them once you left the port. Your movements were sharp as a tack and was always thinking one step ahead. It enabled you to outrun any hunter or whatever sad, inexperienced New Republic officer that tried to snag you. When you first joined, all your runs were with Tye, but soon after getting accustomed to how runs operated, you were able to go solo. After realizing how much quicker the job went by without having to rely on another person, you became a strict lone wolf. On your own, you could take higher risks, and that made the thrill of the job even more exhilarating. You had become quite the adrenaline junkie, taking some chances even your fellow smugglers would find questionable.

On one job, you were purposely sloppy and let some officers tail you right up to the moment you fought them off in your ship just because of the way the blood in your veins fired through your body. The threat of being caught ignited every nerve-ending in your body, and you constantly chased that feeling.

You were staying on a quiet, uneventful planet when you had gotten a hologram from Tye asking to meet you on Kijimi. “For old time’s sake” he said. Since you had no other run lined up, you figured it was a good time to meet him. It had been a couple months since you last saw him, and now seemed like the perfect time to catch up. Maybe he had a job in mind, too.

The life of a spice runner typically wasn’t very long. It was a physically exhausting profession, and often times a spice runner would get captured by either a bounty hunter or an officer of the New Republic, or die at the hands of a rival smuggler. You knew your days as a runner was limited, so you made sure to have the time of your life while you had the opportunity.

Lately though, a lot of your peers were getting caught by some highly skilled hunter. Whoever it was had managed to trap four of your closest counterparts and you were on high alert. No one had ever been able to snatch that many smugglers in such a short period of time, and your particular crew was starting to get anxious. The runs were beginning to get more sporadic, and spending more time underground, only going out when absolutely necessary, hence the reason you were camping out on lightly populated planet. Technically, you shouldn’t even be in this cantina right now. You should be laying low, waiting for the right moment to jump back into action, but because you now have a taste for the wilder things in life, you take the chance anyway. Plus, if Tye is still walking around then it couldn’t be that bad. He had become a lot more cautious than you, so you’re not all that worried.

You continue to keep your head down, only peering up whenever you hear the door opening. From the corner of your eye, you catch the glimpse of a dark maroon shape coming through the door. Tye. He preferred to wear dark colors, as not to draw any attention to himself. Tonight, he’s wearing a dark maroon jumpsuit, a long-ranged rifle strapped around his back. You—on the other hand, believed hiding in plain sight. You tended to wear neutral, earthy colors. It permitted you to blend in with your surroundings. Every run, you’d switch your uniform according to the conditions of the planet. White for cold environments, dark clothes for desolate, bleak planets, and so on.

He stands in the doorway of the cantina, taking a scan of the bar. He knows you usually like to sit in the back so that you have eyes on everyone that comes and goes, and it doesn’t take long for him to spot you. He walks over to your booth with a kind of swagger you’ve grown to love about him. He’s a pretty confident man, without being cocky. The way he carries himself has always fascinated you. His shoulders are always back, arms swaying at his sides, never looking down. He takes long strides as he saunters over to where you’re sitting. As you both have grown, he also has become a pretty well-respected member of your crew and he exudes that in his every step.

You scoot out of your booth to meet him as he gets closer to your table. Big toothy smiles are exchanged between the two of you and he just about runs to close the space between you. His large arms quickly pull you to his chest and all the air nearly punches right out of your lungs. He actually lifts you a couple inches off the ground in your embrace.

“Tye! I have a reputation over here. You can’t just pick me up like that,” However, you’re unable to hide the joy in your tone. You’ve missed him more than you realized. Yeah, you prefer doing jobs alone, but sometimes the solitude can get the best of you. Having someone to banter with, play sabacc with—you miss it, but you both have very different ways of transporting the product, so you know the days of you working together are long gone.

Tye finally lets you down and you both slide into the booth, sitting opposite of each other. You still have a clear view of the door.

“You couldn’t have picked a better shithole to meet?” You remark.

It’s not that Kijimi was a total shithole, it’s just that it was the biggest shithole of a planet you could ever set foot on. The weather was brutal, the people even more so. The New Republic wasn’t able to control the crime here, so criminal activity ran rampant here. Luckily, the main interest in the city was spice smuggling so you had the respect of most of the local spice lords, but there was always the threat of some travelers who couldn’t care less who you were or how important you were to come after you; to kill without mercy and take your corpse to the New Republic. Therefore, you tried to limit your visits unless they were absolutely necessary.

“I figured since we haven’t been together on Kijimi in a while, it might be worth the visit,” Tye answers honestly. Lifting a hand to the bartender behind the bar, they rushed over holding an empty cup in one hand a jug of bright blue liquid in the other. They place the jug between the both of you. Tye reaches into his pockets and places come credits on the table, giving the tender a small nod before they excuse themselves, grabbing the credits and stuffing them in a small bag that was tied to their waist.

“How nostalgic of you,” You mock, lighthearted enough for it to make him chuckle.

Despite trying to keep your mind focused on Tye, part of you is still observing the door behind him. In the short time you’ve been smuggling, not only had your reputation amongst other smugglers grown, but so had the price on your head. The last few jobs had been particularly difficult. Not only were you trying to fight off New Republic officers, but several bounty hunters had been tracking you. Apparently, you had become a huge pain in the ass. Unfortunately for them, that just made the game way more interesting, and honestly it really fueled your ego.

“Any news on the next run?” You inquire. It had been a few weeks since you last had a contract, and the itch for adventure was starting to get under your skin.

Tye’s eyebrows furrow. He looks at you quizzically. “I didn’t ask you to meet you to tell you about another run. I just wanted to see my best friend.”

“Oh come on. There’s always another job. Always someone who needs spice and someone who wants to get rid of it.”

He looks at you like he doesn’t know you. Leaning back in his seat, he begins shaking his head in disbelief.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” You can feel beads of anger building deep inside you. He was the one that got you into this, and now he has the audacity to look at you like he doesn’t know you?

“You’ve changed.”

You scoff and let out a laugh, a laugh that drips with irritation. “Of course I’ve changed, Tye. Did you really think I was going to stay the doe-eyed girl you met on Tatooine?”

Tye reaches over and pours spotchka in both cups before taking his and throwing his head back to swallow every bit of it. “No,” He begins to say, using the back of his tunic to wipe his mouth clean. “I think those two young kids who grew up on Tatooine are long gone.”

Your lips form into a firm line, not entirely sure how to respond without sounding too cynical.

“I’ve heard stories, you know.”

“Oh have you, now?” Your eyebrow raises, and elbows firmly plant on the tabletop. The joy seems to drain from his face. Smile disappearing, and his eyes begin wandering, looking everywhere but into yours. Curiosity is starting to get the best of you, your eyes squinting and burning into him. Testing to see how he reacts; you push him again. “And what have you heard, Tye?”

Green eyes still refusing to meet yours, he’s busy eyeing his fingers that are fidgeting on the piece of wood that separates you. “That you’re becoming too reckless,” His voice is steady, but much lower than his usual tone. “You’re taking too many risks and causing problems where there doesn’t have to be.”

Your hard expression scorches into him. He starts squirming in his seat. Back on Tatooine, it would have been the other way around: you succumbing to his will, but now you’re the one with authority.

“Look,” He says, leaning in towards you. “I’m not gonna sit here and tell you how to do the job. I know you’re good at it.” There’s regret in his voice. It hasn’t gone unnoticed how he looks at you occasionally, almost like he’s ashamed of what he’s done to you. If it wasn’t for that day, you wouldn’t have turned out the way you have. You think he wants to take it all back. Wishing that you stayed some nobody who lived their life fixing and repairing shit.

“But I’m told you have a high bounty on your head. Maybe it’s best if you continue to lay low for a while. Just until the heat cools down.”

You chew on your bottom lip, and your body relaxes into the booth behind you. Deep down you know he’s right. He just wants for you to be safe and admittedly, the way you’ve been acting lately is as if you think you’re invincible. You chase the thrill and the danger but it’s just making everyday life so much harder. Some merchants are too scared to sell to you, locals steer clear of you, and those who aren’t scared get too confident and try to pick fights with you. Despite your size, you’re able to carry your own surprisingly well during a fight. You don’t quite understand it yourself. Each time you’ve had to defend yourself, there was an energy you conjured that came from deep inside you that helped you manipulate your opponent. This energy allowed you to levitate objects or people in mid-air, assisted you to kill them without ever touching them, or even influence them to say and do what you wanted them to.

It was after a late night of sabacc. You were on your way back to your ship when three male figures blocked your path in a nearby alley. Three blasters pointed directly at you.

“Can’t let you pass, sweetheart.” One of them sneered.

Bounty hunters.

One hand slowly glided to the blaster strapped to your upper thigh, the other extending in front of you. “Okay, fellas. I’m sure we can make a deal here.”

“Don’t try that shit with us. You couldn’t possibly come close to the price the Republic is offering.” The man in the middle—a Twi’ you realize, warned.

“The bounty asks to bring you in alive, so let’s not compromise that, okay sweetheart?”

Adrenaline and wrath were starting to seep into your muscles. If there’s one thing you hated, it was chauvinistic men calling you ‘sweetheart’.

“Call me sweetheart again, and it’ll be the last thing you ever say.”

All three men’s cackle echoed through the stone walls.

“I’d hate to ruin a pretty hair on that head, but if you’re going to act like a little bitch then maybe—”

Cutting him off, one of their blasters wiggled out of their reach and smacked the first hunter right in the face before he could finish his threat, blood spraying from his mouth. Your blaster found its way into your hand, raising it to strike him straight in the chest. Simultaneously, your left hand targeted the second assailant’s throat, your hands violently gripping around the pressure of his neck. The hunter attempted to scream, his hands wrapping around his throat as your grip tightened. Fire consumed you, and as your grip on the man’s throat intensified, his body started to lift off the ground. The Twi’ eyes nearly bulged out of his sockets; horror plastered on his face.

“What the fuck are you?!” The Twi’s voice bellowed, spitting as he charged at you, a vibroblade in each hand. Your eyes shifted to him coming right at you with pure fury in his eyes.

“Come here, you little bitch!” He roared.

You let your hold of his partner relax slightly, then your arm swung to the right, forcing the hunter to lift completely off the ground. Once he became jelly in your grasp, you launch him towards the Twi. Both men slammed into the concrete wall next to them. You heard the sound of skull making contact with the cement, then watched them fall to the ground hard. The Twi cried out, “Please don’t!” but you blasted him right between the eyes before he could say anything else.

You stood there, chest heaving. Your eyes examined the men in front of you, not fully understanding how you were able to fight them off. You were outnumbered and they were much larger than you were. Holding out your hands, you stared down at your palms. Squeezing your eyes shut, you tried to focus on the power that expelled from your fingertips. Where did it come from? How do you control it? What was happening to you?

You had never felt such power before. For a moment, you were no longer in control of your movements. In that split second where you gave into that rage, it bended you to its will, driving you to do cause more harm than necessary. This voice inside of you wanted them to hurt, for them to suffer, and you couldn’t resist it.

Tye repeatedly calling you brings you back to the present. “You okay?”

Shaking your head, the corner of your mouth curls into a smile. “Fine.”

The rest of the evening is much more lighthearted. After the initial awkward tension between the two of you, you’re able to enjoy a couple drinks of spotchka and reminisce about old times. You’ve definitely missed his company. Tye is the closest thing you have to family and you cherish him deeply. Your energies mesh together so well, and you have to admit, sometimes you daydream about settling down together, living on a quiet planet and drinking spotchka for the rest of your days until you’re finally arrested. Those are quickly replaced by reality, because the reality is, it’s just not attainable anymore.

The cantina never empties, no matter what time of day it is, and given that there aren’t any windows, you have no clue as to what time it is anymore. You came in just as the sun was setting—what little sun is even offered on Kijimi. It’s easily been a couple hours since then, and you begin to feel the fatigue creeping up on you.

“Where are you staying?” You ask, stretching your arms and your back as much as you can in the booth.

“I have a place not too far from here. It’s tiny, but it’s not like I spend enough time on this planet to need anything bigger. You can stay with me for the night, if you want?”

“That’s okay,” You start to say, shaking your head. “I’m probably going to leave first thing in the morning anyway. I don’t like to linger.”

Tye’s head bobs a few times. “Sure. I have a couple things I need to take care of here before I can leave.”

You cock your head to the left. What could he possibly have to do? You don’t ask though. It’s a common thing for smugglers not to ask questions. Staying in the dark about your crew’s whereabouts and jobs make it easy not to catch too many folks in the same squad. It’s how smugglers have been able to evade capture. If one person is snatched in a team, it’s almost impossible to catch another because chances are, they have no idea what anyone else is up to.

“I should probably head back to my ship then,”

After announcing your leave, you both shimmy out of the booth and rise to your feet. Tye is the first to move into your body and wrap his biceps around your entire torso. Quickly, your arms find their way around his back and you allow yourself to sink into his body. You’ve missed the warmth of another person. For a second, you allow yourself to be vulnerable and really appreciate the physical intimacy. Tye’s the one who finally breaks the embrace, but he keeps you at arm’s length, both hands squeezing your shoulders. Yours drop at your sides and you can’t stop the grin that forms on your lips.

“Sometimes I can hardly believe we used to be a bunch of nobodies on Tatooine,” He says. Before you can come up with a snarky remark, he leans in and presses a gentle kiss to your forehead.

“Bye, kiddo.” Slapping some credits on the table, he turns on his heel and heads to the door. “You’re not even a year older!” You shout, and you’re not entirely sure he hears you given the amount of noise in the cantina, but you see his shoulders bounce, so you assume he heard you. You linger for a couple minutes, finishing off the remaining spotchka on the table. Once you’ve downed the final drop, you thank the bartender for their kind service, toss them some coins and head out the door.

It’s in the late hours when the cold Kijimi winds hit your face. The freezing air is a drastic change from the heat of the cantina and the cold immediately sends chills down your spine. Pulling your hood over your head, you cross your arms across your chest, trying to conserve a little bit of heat. The streets are dimly lit and dirty with mud and snow. It’s a long, dangerous trek back to your ship, so you keep your head down but still keeping an eye out for any potential mercenary or hunter who might want that pretty bounty on your head. Keeping your hand close to the blaster strapped to your thigh, you dart through stone made arches, and small huts. Instead of taking the straight route, you opt to zig-zag through the city, knowing it would be more difficult to track your footsteps this way. It takes more time, but you know this is the safer way to go.

The cold is starting to really get to you, now. Despite wearing gloves, the tips of your fingers are starting to go numb and you thank the Maker once you catch a glimpse of your ship not too far into the distance. You fight the urge to walk straight towards it, instead listening to your gut. You come to an alley, lit only by a small streetlight that’s flickering slowly.

“I can’t wait to get off this shithole of a planet,” You whisper to yourself.

Just as you turn the corner of the alley, you suddenly feel a presence behind you. The adrenaline pumps through your veins, causing your heart to pulse quicker than you’ve felt in a long time. Any sound person would be afraid, knowing they were in for a bout, but not you. No, you chase this feeling on your runs. This is when you thrive.

You stand tall, straightening your shoulders and slowly turn to where you assume the figure is behind you. At the end of the alley, you see the shape of a man—what you think is a man, anyway. The light bounces off the blob in front of you, and realize they’re covered almost head-to-toe in shiny armor. A droid?

“Can I help you?” You question. Your hand rests directly over your blaster, slowly flicking the safety off.

The mystery man/droid doesn’t say anything. He stands completely still, and for the first time in a long time, panic prods at you. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you take a deep breath, hoping it’ll calm the nerves in your stomach.

“Can I help you?” You say through gritted teeth.

Again, you hear nothing.

You stand your ground, refusing to run from the figure. You’ve never been one to run from a fight, and you’re not about to start now. “I’m going to give you one more chance to tell me who the hell you are before I blast you on your ass.” Your voice is stern, now becoming more annoyed with the fact that they haven’t said anything. What the hell is this thing’s problem?

The figured dressed in armor takes a small step forward and finally speaks. “I can bring you in warm, or I can bring you in cold,” His voice comes out low, but is nothing short of terrifying.

You suddenly realize who stands fifteen feet in front of you. It’s him. The hunter who’s created quite the name for himself. The bounty hunter who almost every smuggler has grown to fear. The one who never lets a bounty get away.

The Mandalorian.

As much as you are terrified right now, you can’t help but let a little bit of pride consume you. For the New Republic to have him come after you, it means they’ve gotten desperate. It also means they see you as a threat, and that makes you feel good. So good in fact, that you accidentally let a chuckle escape you.

“How much are they paying you?”

No answer.

You know he’s going to blast you any moment, and you’re trying to buy yourself some time.

“Oh come on. If I’m gonna go down, I should at least know how much I’m worth, don’t you think?”

Your ship is a quick sprint away (if you go straight ahead) but you’re not stupid enough to do that. He’s probably none the wiser and thinks you would, so you have that advantage. Instead, you know running to your left is the safer option. Even though there’s no actual street to your left, you did notice a split in the foundation just big enough for your body to slide through and make it to the next adjacent path, but you’ll need to do it quick. You gauge your assailant’s body language. He’s standing with his legs shoulder-width apart and you think you see his hand resting on his blaster, but you can’t be sure. You do catch the shadow of a rifle strapped to his back, and you know that that armor looks expensive which means it’s probably beskar, which unfortunately for you is basically indestructible. No amount of blasts will penetrate that armor.

Thinking impulsively, you grab the blaster out of your holster and shoot the light, hoping he’ll struggle to find your shape in the dark and praying to the Maker that it’ll give you enough time to wiggle through the stone walls. You sprint for the wall and see blaster fire shoot passed your head. Fuck, he must have night-vision with that helmet.

You manage to squeeze through the crack and end up on the other side. Most likely he’d come by the right, so you avoid that side entirely. Breaking into a sprint, you run down the cobblestoned road. It’s horribly uneven and you trip a few times, but always manage to recover without actually falling.  The air cuts at your face and makes it harder to breathe but you persevere. If you were to stop, even for a moment, you risk getting caught. Your mind is running a million miles a minute, trying not to look back but also trying to imagine the more tactical way to capture you. Before you can think of your next move, the door to a hut opens and someone seizes your left arm and pulls you into the house with such force, it almost feels like your arm was ripped right out of its socket. The door shuts behind you immediately but before you can make a sound, Tye’s hand comes to cover your mind.

“Shh,” he warns, pressing a finger from his free hand to his lips.

You nod and he releases the grip he had over your mouth.

Tye crouches near the window by the door, checking to see if the hunter is out there.

“I can’t see him,” He says, turning his gaze towards you. You move from the doorway and crouch next to him by the window. Both of you continue to scan the street, looking for any sign of the attacker.

After a few minutes of looking with no luck, you conclude that he’s lost you. You retreat from the window to examine the room. It’s tiny, the bed almost immediately to your left and you wonder how anyone could possibly sleep there. The door is just a few feet away and you can assume the cold penetrates the door easily enough. Sleeping there must be miserable. The only source of light emanates from a few candles scattered throughout the room.

“This is my place,” Tye explains before you can ask. “It’s not much but it’s better than sleeping in one of the taverns.” He passes you and lowers himself in an armchair, rubbing the palms of his hands against his face.

“How did you know?”

“Call it intuition.”

The adrenaline is slowly wearing off and now you feel an ache in your bicep. You look down and notice a section of your coat has been ripped right off. Then you notice blood, a lot of it.

“Maker!” Tye all but jumps right out of his seat and rushes to your side. Gently grabbing your elbow, he inspects your wound. It’s pretty deep and will need to be cauterized.

Realizing it at the same time, your eyes meet. “Just do it.” You whisper to break the silence.

“I can use bacta spray instead. It’ll hurt less,” He says, before turning towards the cupboards, rummaging through the shelves and tossing whatever he can find, on the ground. You carefully remove your coat without touching the gash on your arm.

“Bacta spray will hard to find at this hour,” Your voice is barely above a whisper. The pain is starting to disorient you, and you manage to sit down on the bed before collapsing. “Just do it, Tye.”

Your friend stops searching for the spray, and he’s quickly by your side again with a clean cloth. He begins wiping the blood away. It stings and you swear under your breath.

“If you think this hurts…” His voice trails off. Yeah, you both know cauterizing it will hurt even more.

Trying to lighten the tension, you force a laugh. “Don’t worry. I’m a big girl, I can handle it.”

It’s true. You’ve broken bones and you’ve been hit a lot worse. If you ever manage to successfully make a run without injuring yourself, it’s a miracle. This is nothing new.

Tye leaves your side to warm up his vibroblade on one of the candles nearby. Once the blade is steaming, he returns to you. He holds out the blade, and you take it from his hand. Releasing a deep breath, you hold the blade to your arm and press it into your flesh. It sizzles and smells awful. Tye squeezes his eyes shut, like he thinks it’ll stop the whole ordeal. You stifle down the scream that desperately tries to come to the surface, and groan instead. Pressing the blade to your skin in short bursts, the blood slowly stops spewing and the pain from the actual blast begins to subside. Once the sting begins to slow, you drop the blade on the ground. Tye’s eyebrows relax as he inspects your skin.

“You should still put some bacta spray on that, to avoid getting it infected.”

Nodding slowly, you let out another deep breath through your lips. “I have some on my ship. I’ll head out in the morning and hopefully get to it before metal man out there can get me.” You try to be lighthearted with a joke. Tye either doesn’t catch it or think it’s funny because he’s shaking his head at you. He meets your eyes and whispers your name. “Having a Mandalorian after you is serious business. Those guys don’t fuck around.”

You sit up straight and look at his defensively. “Yeah, I know Tye.”

“Do you? Because you’re still making jokes. Do you know that Mandalorians are like the best killers in the galaxy?”

That sends daggers through your entire body. You rise to your feet, slowly until you’re almost towering over him. “I’m well aware of their abilities, Tye.”

“Why do I get the feeling that this is just a giant ego boost for you?”

That you actually scoff at. “Kriff…” Taking a step away from him, your hands rest on your hips. “Am I a little proud that they had to get a Mandalorian to arrest me? Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to act reckless and change my tacti-“

“But you are reckless!” Tye pushes against his knees to stand eye level with you. “You always do this. This is why no one wants to work with you!”

Your eyes widen, mouth dropping. “I don’t want to work with anyone because they slow me down!”

Immediately, your friend’s shaking his head. “No, that’s not why. Everyone’s deemed you too dangerous to actually work with. It’s a miracle you haven’t been caught yet.”

You try to interject but Tye holds a hand up to stop you. “I’m not done. Yeah, you’re good at smuggling, probably one of the best, but at what cost? Where’s the girl that was gentle, kind? Where’s that girl who would fix ships with her dad and play in the sand dunes with me? That girl who nursed an injured womp rat back to health because you saw some stupid kids shoot at it? Where did my best friend go?”

The laugh that erupts in the room is anything but joyful. It’s resentful, it’s anger. Your best friend stands inches away from your face, insulting who you are. Who he essentially created.

“She grew up, Tye! My parents died and left me all alone on a planet that shouldn’t even exist. I had no choice. You think a ‘gentle, kind’ girl can survive in this galaxy?”

Tye’s fists ball up at his sides. “I miss that girl. Who you are now, it’s not who I remember. This job has tainted you.”

“Well, maybe you should have thought of that before you dragged me into this world five years ago!”

“Don’t do that…” His shoulders drop, his head hanging in defeat.

“I love you Tye, but I can take care of myself. I’m not scared of some Mandalorian. I’m not afraid of anything.” A lie, but you refuse to look weak.

“I know…” He admits, his head still looking at the ground. “That’s the problem.”

A few moments pass in silence. Neither of you try to break the apprehension in the air. You can sense that Tye’s been waiting a long time to admit that. That he doesn’t like what you’ve become, and maybe he’s right. Maybe you do act impulsively, maybe you do put yourself at risk unnecessarily just to fill this void inside of you. A void that’s been eating at you since you were a child, but it’s not something you want to hear right now, or maybe ever.

“I’m heading to my ship.” Grabbing your coat off the cot, you slip into it, groaning as the material slides against your sensitive flesh.

That appears to snap Tye out of his thoughts because he looks right into your eyes.

“Please don’t. He’s probably still out there.”

“Well it’s like you said,” Usually, your voice is soft. You’ve never spoken to Tye with such anger before, but something inside of you now sees him in a different light. You resent him. “I’m too reckless.” You growl.

Tye mouth is agape and it almost looks like tears are forming in the corners of his eyes. He takes a step back like he’s been stabbed, which I guess is true. Your tone said it all.

You both realize at the same time that this is probably the last time you’ll see each other.

Turning on your heel, you head towards the door. “Take care, Tye.” You say over your shoulder before pressing the button to open the entrance. It lifts off the ground and you step out, not even looking at your surroundings before throwing the hood back over your head and heading straight for your ship.

If you want me, come get me, Mandalorian.

You’re not careful about the walk to the ship. You’re not careful passing corners or getting to the port. You’re behaving stupidly on purpose. You want to fight him; you want to prove to everyone and yourself that not even a Mandalorian can catch you. It’s extremely naïve but your blood’s boiling and its currently clouding your judgement. You spot your ship and march towards it, without a damn care in the world. Clicking the button on your bracelet, the ramp opens, and you begin to walk towards the slope. Once your foot touches the metal, you catch a glimpse of something shiny at the very top of the ramp. A sly smile creeps on your lips.

“You know, it’s rude to hijack someone’s ship.” You peer up at him.

The Mandalorian’s tense, with his hand hovering over the blaster strapped to his right thigh. Legs once again spread shoulder width apart, he oozes authority. The metal—beskar, glistening against the moonlight. You fight the submissiveness that begins to creep up on you. You refuse to show him weakness. If you’re gonna get caught, you’re gonna make sure you put up a fight.

Your strides up the ramp get smaller and smaller. Adrenaline fully pumping now through your entire body. You wonder how close he’ll let you get to him before blasting you right off your feet.

“I do have to admit, getting caught by a mandalorian is pretty admirable.” You taunt.

His hand gets closer to the blaster and you think this is your moment. Just as he rips the blaster from its holster and fires at you, your right hand comes up, catching the blast mid-air and deflecting it. It hits one of the cargo boxes and explodes. Before he can fire another shot, the blaster is ripped right out of his hand and goes flying into your palm. As soon as you get both blasters in your hands, a grappling line exits his vambrace and wraps tightly around your ankles, causing you to slightly lose your balance. He pulls hard on the rope and it sends you flying backwards. Your head hits the metal hard, and for a second your vision begins to fog. You blink repeatedly, trying to get your damn vision to clear, but before you can even begin to push yourself to the ground, the Mandalorian is hovering over your body. One leg on each side of your thighs, he leans down and grasps both your wrists with one hand and straps some binds around them. You give it one last ditch effort and try to kick up at him, but his reflexes are surprisingly quick and catches your calf with his free hand.

“Maybe if you stayed with your friend, you might’ve gotten away without me catching you.” He says through the helmet. The baritone of his voice immediately causes your breathing to hitch. Your heart is pounding in your chest and heat begins to form in your stomach.

“Then again,” He begins to say, pulling you to your feet. “because you’re so careless, I’d find you again.”

In any other circumstance, you’d have a sly comment, but right now you can’t even remember how to speak. Once on your feet, you notice just how big he actually is. Sure, the armor might add to his demeanor, but you can’t help but be intimidated now. He towers over you, and you have to strain your neck just to look at him. You try to see his eyes through the ‘T’ of his visor, but it’s too tinted. He loops his forearm around your bound arms and guides you down the ramp.

“I can walk on my own, you know?”

The Mandalorian doesn’t answer. He simply continues to drag you whichever way he wants. As you make your way to his ship, your heart is still hammering in your chest. The way he carries himself, you’ve never seen anything like it. He’s definitely intense, but nothing short of fucking mesmerizing. Most of the hunters you’ve encountered were cruel and mouthy. But the Mandalorian? He barely spoke to you; he didn’t let his any emotion come through. You can outtalk any hunter, but you couldn’t do that with him. He was one step ahead of you, which you have to admit has never happened before.

Once you reach what you assume is his ship, you can’t help but be taken aback by it.

“Whoa, is that a pre-Empire ship? I didn’t think those things still existed.”

He says nothing, as per usual. In the very short time you’ve known the Mandalorian, you noticed he’s a man of few words.

You’ve spent your whole life around ships, but you’ve never seen one quite like this. It’s pretty dated and looks in pretty shit condition, honestly. Several panels are completely dented, and whatever isn’t dented is scratched up badly. You can tell it’s been in a good number of shootouts. It’s a miracle this ship is still operational.

He presses a button on his vambrace, and the ramp opens up, creaking as it lowers to the ground. The Mandalorian lets go of the grip he had on you, and gently pushes you in front of him, instructing you to walk ahead of him. You head up the ship, turning back to look over your shoulder one more time. In that moment, reality hits you. You’ve been caught. You’re going to live the rest of your days in a cell. Actually, with your reputation, you’d be lucky if you get a cell. The New Republic will probably have you sentenced to death. While you didn’t expect to live to an old age, you didn’t think you’d die this young, but it comes with the job description. Everyone’s gonna get it sooner or later, and unfortunately for you, it seems like the former.

You take notice of the three other quarries in carbonite to your right. Heating beating so fast, you’re sure it’ll burst out of your chest, you start babbling.

“Please don’t put me in carbonite,” You plead, turning around to face your captor. He’s already closed the ramp and is busy removing the rifle off his back, placing it back on the wall of the ship. “You already have me in binds, I can’t go anywhere. I won’t cause any more trouble. Just please, no carbonite.”

At first, he doesn’t bother to look at you. He lingers there for a few seconds, probably arguing with himself on the best way to handle you. Your eyes burn into his helmet, praying to the Maker that he’ll give into you. You’re chewing down on your bottom lip so hard, you’re sure you’ll break skin. Eventually, he turns to face you and begins a slow, tantalizing walk towards you. Panic overwhelms you, and you begin to shake your head frantically. Since when did you become such a submissive? Under any other circumstance, you’d be throwing insults, trying to get under his skin, manipulating words in an effort to aggravate them. You might even try to manipulate him into doing what you ask but your brain is shut off. You can barely form a coherent thought. Therefore, you resort to begging and pleading with the Mandalorian.

You can’t stop your body from trembling, and as he reaches to grab your wrist, you shudder at his touch. You swear his glove is on fire because how the hell is it possible that his touch burns into your skin? You keep your head down, not having the strength to meet his visor. You’re crumbling under him, letting him take absolute control of you.

“Up,” is all he says, as he gestures you to the ladder that goes up to the cockpit. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you nod and let him guide you to the ladder. It’s hard to climb with your hands bound but you do your best.

Once you reach the top, you wait for him to catch up. Putting a hand on your lower back, your breathing hitches when he touches you. His hand nearly cover your entire waist and you can’t help but imagine that thick hand wrapped around your throat.

Maker this shouldn’t be turning you on. He captured you.

He guides you into the seat that’s to the right of the pilot, and then sits himself in the pilot’s seat. He begins the take-off sequence, and the ship’s thrusters roar to life. As the ship lifts off the ground, it creaks and makes you shift in your seat. You take one last look at Kijimi as his ship climbs higher and higher into the air, realizing that for the first time ever, you lost.

[gofancyninjaworld]

OPM Parallel School Series: Junior High School Student Saitama

Translated by @vibhavm with additional help from Redditors /u/graywords and /u/lucci85.

As part of the drama CDs from 2017, ONE didn’t just write stories set in the canonical story.  He also penned lighter-hearted alternative universe stories, set in a high school... with predictable hijinks.

Audio link: https://soundcloud.com/vibhav-745976766/parallel-school-series-junior

We start:

Saitama (Sa): In this universe, there exists another world different from our world, a parallel world. This is another me, another Saitama, who lives in that parallel world.

Sonic (So): And I, Speed o' Sound Sonic, who went out of my way to transfer to Z Municipal Peace Middle School to settle my dispute with this Saitama!

Sa: (Well, there he is.)

Sa: (What's with the attitude?)

So: On the blood-covered battlefield known as the Sports Festival, in truth I was not really motivated for it, but I was unconsciously beginning to display my true abilities as the strongest ninja, and would unexpectedly become the star of the Sports Festival!

Sa: (It's just at a regular middle school sports festival.)

Sa: (I guess there are guys like that, who pretend they aren't motivated but are actually super excited.)

Sa: (Huh, so you really participated that much?)

So: This... is the lightning-speed sports documentary that recorded my heroism!

So: It’s the day before the Sports Festival.

So: To do image training for the bread eating contest, I was running to school eating a piece of bread.

Sa: You are fully motivated, aren’t you. I haven’t seen a guy like that.

So: Well now, Speed-o’-Sound Sonic, this is the last lap and I’m on one last straight line. It’s the last spot!

So: Fast! Fast! Crazy speed! Now, overtake Saitama running in front of you! Eh, seriously?!

Boom

So: Why the hell were you there on the last straight line?!

Sai: Huh? You tripped and fell on your own, what are you talking about?

So: gasp Hmph, you’ve got the wrong idea.

So: Running to school eating a piece of bread to do image training for the bread eating contest...

So: ...I was doing nothing of the sort! Not at all!

Sa: We don't even have a bread eating contest at our Sports Festival.

So: Eh… Anyway, tomorrow's sports day, be prepared for it! I’ll beat you up until you can’t stand, without fail!

So: I’ll turn the sports day into a bloodbath!

Sai: Uhh, you and I are on the same go-home club team.

So: Eh.. Uh… Hmph…

Music and fireworks

PPP: Sooo, let’s start this year’s Z-City Peace Junior High School Sports Day.

PPP: A physical festival, where muscles will clash with muscles!

PPP: I’m Puri Puri Prisoner, the speaker, i’m very fond of young boys.

PPP: And for the commentator… the well-known first-year junior high school student, Sweet Mask chan is joining us!

SM: Thank you for having me.

PPP: Well then, Amai Mask chan, you hold your annual winning streak with your Student Council team: what’s your outlook for this year?

AM: It goes without saying. This year too, my Student Council team will win without fa-

So: Hehehehehhehe. You’re pretty foolish, Student Council.

AM: Huh! You are…

So: chuckles

AM: Who are you?

PPP: This month a new student was transferred in this school for an exchange draft, B-group, attendance number 8. You’re Speed-o’-Sound Sonic-chan! You prefer a 40-degree temperature for your baths, and you enter the bathtub from the right. And apparently you don’t sleep in a bed but in a futon.

So: Ugh, why do you know so much about me!

PPP: It’s natural for teachers to keep the profile of their cutest students.

So: Anyway! This year's "go-home club team", teamed up with me, Speed o' Sound Sonic, their Golden Rookie, will be on a completely different level than before!

SM: Hmph. So the number of small fries increased by one-

So: I’m not alone.

So: The only man I consider a rival, Saitama! His gofer, the cyborg Genos! Furthermore, the strongest man, King is also here!

So: With those three, everything should be treated very seriously!

PPP: Are you talking about those 3 hurriedly eating over there?

Genos (Ge): Captain Saitama, what would you like as ingredients for the rice balls?

Sai: Salmon for me.

Ge: And you King senpai?

King (K): Tuna.

So: Hey! What are you doing relaxing! The fight is about to start!

Sa: Hm? Mmm..mmm… You wanna eat too? gulp Genos’s Fried Rice Balls are pretty tasty.

So: Mm, well now, let me see.

So: Mmmh, the sweet savoury smell of soy sauce with barley rice flour is- HEY YOU ALL!

Ge: Hmph. The Rice Balls weren't for you in the first place.

So: Tch, this guy.

AM: Did you already fall out with your friends? You can’t challenge our strongest student council team in such a mess.

AM: You should know your social standing. You’re an eyesore. It’s best if you quickly run home.

So: Such a way of talking…

So: You all! Aren’t you annoyed by how he’s talking to us!

Sa: Genos, grab me a barley tea?

King: Yeah, me too!

Ge: Ah, yes!

So: These guys are hopeless. They don’t listen at all…

AM: Heh, good luck with that. It’s going to be useless though. Hahahaha.

So: Tch, you bastards! You’ve acted like this all the time！

Ge: It’s according to plan. With this, the student council has let their guard down.

So: What?!

So: That means, could it be… their lax behaviour up until now…

Ge: Hmph, obviously. It was a fake in order to fool the opponent. Right, Captain Saitama?

Sa: Mh? What did you say?

Ge: Sonic, was it? How can’t you understand that even though you say you’re a ninja?

So: Uh...

So: I don't like your tone of voice, but....

So: I see. As expected of Saitama. I don’t see you as my rival for nothing.

PPP: And noooow, the first event, the mock cavalry battle is starting.

PPP: All contestants, please reach your friends!

Ge: Now then, Captain Saitama, King Senpai, let’s head into battle!

Sai: Ehhh, I'm full from overeating Rice Balls. Is it necessary to have four people? What a drag.

So: This isn’t a strategy at all is it!

SM: After all, the mock cavalry battle finished and naturally our student council team’s victory was secured. The home team was totally unfocused. But I won’t talk about it, because it was quite an embarrassing sight.

So: What a way of talking…

PPP: Well, apparently the Student Council Team is overwhelmingly above the others and leads the chart as of now.

AM: It seems the match is settled.

So: The student council team is 1280 points ahead huh. But there’s one last match.

So: The opposition club activities relay is left!

King: That's right, I believe the team that wins the relay gets 9 times the points.

Sa: Wait, that's way too many.

Ge: I see. If we win the relay, that means we can win by 8,999,999,998,720 points, then.

Sa: Huh. Did we really need that calculation?

So: Anyway! The game starts now! Just you watch, Student Council!

AM: Hahahaha, I could say the same to you from the horrible state you seem to be in.

AM: Everyone! They may be in last place, but the Go-Home Team is desperately trying hard, so please give them a round of applause!

AM: However, I, Amai Mask, pledge that my Student Council team will win the final opposition club activities relay, and achieve complete overall victory.

crowd applauding

So: Tch, what an unpleasant guy.

AM: Good luck to you all, even though I think you’re hopeless.

So: You all, despite being made such a fool of, you’re still-

Ge: All according to plan, this time for sure the Student Council has let their guard down.

So: gasp

So: So you mean... this pathetically slow start... I can't believe it!

Ge: Obviously, this is the final event that will decide everything.

Ge: It was a strategy to retain stamina until the opposition club activities relay. Right, captain Saitama?

Saitama: Man, I'm gettin' sleepy now.

So: I see, to deceive your opponents, you must first start with your allies. I was completely deceived.

So: Alright! Well then, let’s decide on our running order immediately!

Ge: Captain Saitama, what number would you like?

Saitama snoring

K: He’s having a sound nap.

So: This definitely isn’t a strategy at all is it!

PPP: Ok, time for the final event! The activity is the relay fight! The winning team will not only receive 9 times the points, but also a prize of 50 thousand yen!

So: Eh!?

K: Oh, you woke up.

So: So basically, I’ll be running for all 3 people?!

Sa: Well, what number do you want me to run in, Sonic?

So: Saitama…

Ge: Captain…

PPP: Well then, starting off with our first runners -- for the Student Council, their secretary, Drive Knight Chan!

DK: At last, it’s my turn…

PPP: And the go-home team self proclaimed vice captain, Genos-chan!

Ge: For the sake of the Go-Home club, I cannot lose!

PPP: Everyone is ready for the start...

mechanical sound

PPP: Wow, Drive Knight-chan! The lower half of his mechanical body transformed into a horse-shaped one!

PPP: Amai Mask chan, isn’t this foul play?

AM: Obviously, this is not foul play. As the opponent is also a cyborg.

PPP: That’s true…

DK: Genos-kun… This is the latest model lower body I prepared for this Sports Festival. The likelihood of you winning again such equipment is next to zero.

Ge: hmph, next to zero you say?

DK: That’s right. Therefo-

Ge: So you mean, it’s not zero, right.

mechanical noise

PPP: The race finally begins! Drive Knight chan and Genos chan, the two advance at a speed that far surpasses human expectations!

running and trotting noise

PPP: Oh, as expected, the performance is different. Drive Knight chan is leading.

DK: Of course...

Ge: I see. Naturally, I can’t best him in leg power. However…

mechanical sound

Ge: Incineration cannon!

Explosions noise

PPP: Ah, what was that?! Drive Knight-chan was blown away by Genos-chan’s Incineration cannon and went out of bounds! And in that moment, Genos-chan has pulled ahead!

AM: That damn Go-home team…

AM: The use of weapons is against the rules!

So: What an idiot! That’s nowhere in the Sports Festival’s guidebook!

AM: Son of a... If it's come to this, I'll just use my position in the Student Council to mark this as a loss for the Go-Home Club due to foul play...

DK: There is no need for that.

AM: Drive Knight!?

DK: I told you, didn’t I? My equipment is the latest model.

DK: If you are going to come at me with weapons, I will counter-attack with even stronger weapons.

DK: Tactical Transformation: Sports Festival Special.

PPP: Oh, Drive Knight-chan’s horse part transformed again! This time it transformed into a missile!

PPP: Ah, look out Genos chan!

Shit ton of noise

PPP: The missile shot by Drive Knight-chan landed! Genos-chan’s body is in pieces. I feel so sorry, Genos-chan! Drive Knight-chan goes right past him!

DK: Sorry, Genos-kun. However, this is reality.

PPP: How can you call this a sports festival anymore?! The other runners have lost their fighting spirit and are falling apart one after another!

AM: As expected of Drive Knight. This match is already over.

G: I wonder about that.

AM: Hah! Genos-kun, with that broken down body, what can-

G: Rocket Punch!

AM?: What?!

Genos’s theme playing

PPP: Oh! Genos’s right hand holding the baton is flying off at even faster speed!

DK: Huh, impossible.

PPP: In a blink of an eye, the second place runner flies past Drive Knight to Sonic-chan!

G: Even if my body is broken and scattered into pieces, I will definitely pass the baton! That is the spirit of the going-home club team!

So: Hmph. Good performance for someone who’s Saitama’s errand-boy.

So: Now it’s up to me, Speed o’ Sound Sonic!

PPP: Wow! The Go-Home team takes the lead, and right after that, the baton of the Student Council team goes to its second player, Flashy Flash-chan!

DK: Forgive me, Flash. It’s up to you now.

Flash (FF): Leave it to me.

So: I’m gonna win this by a landslide！

PPP: Now; it’s a match between Speed o’ Sound Sonic chan and Flashy Flash chan!

PPP: Both have the cute face and speed I love so much. So, so fast!

So: That Student Council guy, he’s not bad…

So: Still, can you actually follow me like this?

FF: Seems like a good runner for the Go-Home team...

FF: still, don’t think you can win against me in speed!

PPP: They both fast, Fast, FAST!! I mean, they’re so fast I can't see them at all! I can’t see anything, it’s all enveloped in a cloud of dust!

So: Alright, take it, Saitama!

Sa: Eh? Where?

Sa: I got dust in my eyes, I can’t see a thing.

So: WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? QUICKLY TAKE THE BATON!

FF: Take it, Zombieman!

Zombieman (ZM): Right, nice job Flash!

So: Hey, carry across the baton Saitama!

Sa: I can’t remove the dust in my eyes…

So: JUST RUN SAITAMA!!!

PPP: Anyway, I couldn’t see anything at all, but it seems like the third runners, Saitama-chan and Zombieman-chan started at almost the exact same time!

So: It seems that everyone has had a chance to see Sonic at the speed of sound!！

PPP: Nope, I didn't see you at all, Sonic chan.

So: What?

PPP: Nobody could see it, too bad.

So: Eh…?

FF: Hey, are you alright? You look like you’re on the brink of death.

PPP: Meanwhile, Saitama is nowhere to be seen!

So: Huh, what did you say!?

PPP: Saitama chan, where did you go off to?

sound effect

Sa: Huh, wait a sec. This scenery is a bit unfamiliar-

BOOM Tropical music

Sa: Eh? Where am I…?

Sa: Ah by any chance, did I take the wrong course? Crap…

Sa: I was running without seeing anything because of the dust...

Sa: Hey this is a jungle…

Sa: Crap, I need to get back quickly.

animal roaring

Sa: Hmm? Something about the animals...

Boom Weird laugh/cry

Sa: Are you… a monster?

Monster (M): That’s right.

I’m a poacher that was monsterfied after a trip to the jungle! With my overwhelming physical ability that was trained to perfection in the jungle, and my hunting instincts, I now reign at the pinnacle of this jungle's ecosystem. As the ultimate invasive species, I will tear people like you, who don the mantle of civilization and allow your physical abilities to devolve, limb from pale civilized limb--

BOOM

Sa: Oops… I should have asked that monster now about which way to Z-City.

Sa: Ah well, it’s probably that way-

Boom

PPP: While Saitama-chan is absent, Zombiman is still running alone!

ZM: Why can’t I see anybody, is this not the sports festival? What am I even racing against? Can I just keep running like this?

AM: Don’t think about it Zombieman, just keep running like that.

ZM: All- Alright, Amai Mask.

So: Damn it, where did Saitama go off to! Hey Genos!

Ge: There’s only one possibility I can think of.

So: What is it?

Ge: He might have gone home.

So: What!? Why in the absolute hell would anyone go home at a time like this!?

Ge: How Naive. You still don’t know anything about the go-home club.

AM: Hmph, looks like this time the match is over.

So: NNGHHHH

Beeping-like sounds

Genos: I sense something, it’s coming!

AM: What!?

PPP: Oh, he’s finally back here, Saitama-chan!

Seigi Shikkou playing

Sa: Sorry, sorry. I went the wrong way…

So: What were you doing, you idiot!

Sa: It’s your fault for spreading dust clouds everywhere.

PPP: However, Zombieman-chan is a long way away in the lead now.

AM: You’re too late.

So: Well, I wonder about that!

AM: What?

Sa: Alrighty, this time I won’t make a mistake.

BWOOSH

PPP: Fa- fa- fast!

Ge: As expected, Captain! His eyes have gone red, probably because money is on the line!

PPP: Saitama chan easily passed Zombieman chan!

ZM: Fast, way too fast!

PPP: And he’s rapidly gaining a wide lead.

AM: Impossible! That plain looking faced guy can’t be this fast!-

Crunch

PPP: Ohh… Amai Mask chan crushed his microphone…

PPP: Mr. Saitama gets ready and passes the baton to King-chan, the anchor!

Sa: I leave the rest to you.

K: Yeah…

PPP: On the other hand the Student Council Team, Zombieman is still far away back.

Ge: As expected Captain Saitama!

So: With this, the match is over.

AM: Nope, you’re pretty naive huh Go-Home team.

So: Huh?

AM: Have a look at our final runner. Can you still say that?

OST: Dark Energy

So: What did you say?

Tatsumaki (T): Hey, why are you running so sluggish! Hurry up and bring the baton to me!

Ge: Tha… That is…

AM: That’s right. The student council vice president. Tornado of Terror!

T: Ugh, I can’t wait anymore!

splash sound

PPP: AAAAAAH! Tatsumaki burst Zombieman’s body into tiny pieces with her Psychokinesis!

PPP: Aaaaand, the baton was passed on to Tatumaki-chan as if it were being carried by water.

So: Gah! In order to win… she even killed her ally!

ZM: No, I’m fine. Since I'm immortal.

Sa: Ah, is that so? I’m glad you’re okay.

ZM: Excuse me, but could you please gather the pieces of flesh scattered over there.

Sa: Sure. Though are you really fine?

AM: Now then, go Tatsumaki, show the power of our student council team!

T: I'll go without you having to say a damn thing, moron! Don't you dare boss me around and give me orders while your useless ass is just sitting back and relaxing in the commentator's seat! You disgust me. Why don't you just go on home with the Go-Home Club?!

PPP: Whoa! Tatsumaki-chan unexpectedly beat the Go-Home Club to the punch by telling him (AM) to go home!

PPP: Amai Mask-chan, is there anything you wish to say towards Tatsumaki-chan?

AM: Fufu

PPP: Amai Mask-chan is just barely able to maintain his smile, but it is at maximum twitching! As usual, today Tatsumaki-chan is emanating an aura of range in all directions!

T: Every last one of them, they can’t do anything without me. Here I go!

wind sfx

crowd panic

PPP: Aaah Tatsumaki-chan’s extremely powerful psychokinesis! There’s an actual tornado invading the campus!

PPP: The students --gagh, and even the tent we’re in, are getting blown away--gaah!

T: HAAAAAAAAAA!

winds intensify

PPP: King-chan.. Where is King-chan!

Sa: Ah, there right?

PPP: The object being blown away with tremendous force… K.. King chan!?

Ge: No, he’s not being blown away...

So: He’s riding the wind!

Sound of something lowering down

Tatsumaki: Huh?

PPP?: WHAT!?

PPP: With tremendous force King chan has wooooooooon!

PPP: The winner is the go-home club team!

cheers

K: Hm, what happened to me?

Sa: You did it, King!

Ge: As expected, King-senpai!

So: This is the world’s strongest man’s power…

T: You’re the one I lost to, it can’t be helped…

Amai: Cheers to you...

PPP: Congratulations, the MVP is King!

Crows woos

Saitama: Nice, let’s eat barbecue with the prize money.

King: Yeah. Though before that… I’m gonna swing by the infirmary.

[twixtandshout]

Tagged by @pidgeonpostal! And not tagging anyone else because I have SOILED the original template (soiled it!!) in deference to my [brushes off skirt] mostly clean public-facing appearance.

...I’ve been making a lot of Spongebob memes lately for someone who has not seen Spongebob.

How many works do you have on AO3?

71!

What’s your total AO3 wordcount?

...306,834. Jesus.

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Uh. Many! I do a lot of one-offs (and/or start long things I never finish) in many different places. My top three fandoms by fics written are RWBY (29), Undertale (25), Gravity Falls/Transcendence AU (4).

Bet you can’t tell where my hyperfixations have fallen. 

I’ve also got some Pokémon and Sonic the Hedgehog fics back on my ff.net account, or I think I still do, anyway, but let’s never go back there pls

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Sweeter Than Honey (Undertale): Taking a Completely unsurprising first place, with over 600 more kudos than the runner-up, the haphazard Underswap fic featuring a post-college self-insert I wrote just after high school! I shake my head some at how overblown and ridiculous the gap between this and all my other stuff is (c’mon, guys, I’ve written way better fics), but this is also the fic which prompted me (and at least one other person!) to start using they/them pronouns. I’ve gotten a lot of really sweet comments about how seen and appreciated it’s made people feel, so I can’t get down too far about it.

2. To Be A Hero (BNHA): I don’t count myself as part of the BNHA fandom, for a number of reasons, but for something that’s arguably the main motivation for the entire plot, Midoriya’s quirklessness is something I’ve never thought has been handled well. This fic marked the first time I (somewhat tentatively) claimed the disability label (thanks again to Sweeter Than for prompting that realization) to hold that lens over canon. It also really shot up my chart, dang! It’s the only thing here I’d consider “recent.”

3. Three-Sentence Shipping (Undertale): Self-explanatory.

4. Brothers Beyond Bonedaries (Undertale): Ah, the way-overcomplicated AU³ I got nowhere close to finishing. One of the things I really like about Undertale is the interface screw, how Toby Fox uses the medium of the video game to pull off crazy things and enhance his game, but most of the fic written for the fandom seems dedicated to explaining it away, grounding it, rather than taking it to the next step and messing with the medium of fanfiction when you keep the story going. I tried to do something cool like that here, playing with questions like narrator and authorship and breaking the fourth wall, even taking the “final boss” fight to a “totally separate” fic reached through the first by link – but, well, then I never finished it, which probably didn’t make anything less confusing for the poor folks who missed the intent.

5. Spirit and Such (Gravity Falls: Transcendence AU): A whole fic written to line out a particular image I had, which, naturally, never made it to the page. I consider it a bit of a cautionary tale for myself when it comes to writing (near-)original content; there’s a lot I look back on and cringe. I still love the characters, though – well, the important ones – and I think just stepping away from the tried-and-true Mizar formula nets it a star sticker here.

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

>w>; I try, but a lot of the time I just don’t have anything to say? Like, oh, you liked it? Neat. There’s not much to respond to in comments like that, and then I’m weighing falling down on an ~obligation~ to respond to every message in my inbox vs annoying people with copy-paste fluff responses all down the page. Plus I know I make more of an effort to comment on things that didn’t get the attention I feel they deserve, so if I’m driving up my own comment count with nonsense, am I preventing myself from being in a position to receive more comments later? And then if I do comment, am I being too effusive or running people’s ears off explaining things they don’t actually need to know? Sometimes people just want to express interest or admiration and don’t necessarily want a whole peek and guided tour behind the curtain.

Can you tell I have anxiety? x3;

Anyway, I do respond when I can. And I keep most of the comments I’ve gotten to go back and reread. 

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Hm, hmm. Lots of stuff in the TQ Nonsense series would probably qualify! I’m thinking of Unfixable, Wolfsong, and Ethanol. And there’s Bursting Through A Blood-Red Sky (I Can Live, I Can Breathe), of course, but that was always intended to have a fix-it epilogue. It’s just that I wrote it in a couple of hours day-of, stared at it, and decided I didn’t wanna just then. But now that’s As Long As You’re Still Burning Bright (I’m Still Awake), and that’s probably the best romance I’ve written, so that one worked out.

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve ever written?

Now and then! When the urge strikes. Uhhh, I’ve got a series of Doctor Who x Undertale crossovers I actually made a whole dang verse for that never made it to print. Get a couple great comments on that every few months or so. I think the World Trigger x Undertale crossover is probably weirder, though, by virtue of WT being a very small fandom. My enthusiasm kinda sputtered out on that one.

Mostly I just daydream crossovers with whatever happens to catch my eye at any given moment. I have a lot!!!! Though odds are out on whether I manage to remember any of them once the initial thought’s passed, lol.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Gotten a couple eyebrow-raising comments, but I think mostly I’m just too small a writer to draw that kind of attention.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don’t? think so? Think my tastes are a little niche for most people to bother ^^;

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I had someone apologize once for any language mistakes in their comment cause they had to run it through a translator! That’s not what you asked (the answer is no), but it’s very flattering to think that someone liked my fic enough to read and comment despite the language barrier.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! :D @pidgeonpostal was gracious enough to agree to co-write Five Nights at Denny’s with me off an idea about shoes. This has fulfilled a long-held dream of mine (collabing with someone, not the shoes) and also introduced me to some lovely people.

What’s your all time favorite ship?

Who has time for just one? ;3c Honestly, I care more about the characters and how the relationship – any relationship – between them changes them than I do about ~A Ship~ as a solid, bounded noun-object. I’ve got characters I like more and less and feelings about who does and doesn’t have chemistry in which directions with whom, but finding anything that agrees with those preferences is hard, harder when you take alloromanticism into account. I’ll play in any sandbox with cool toys, especially if other folks have already built sick sandcastles there.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

[kicks every single unfinished fic further under the bed] What nooo no WIPs here, everything on my account is either finished or does not exist

I’ve got a couple extra chapters of Sweeter Than floating around unposted, but 1. that fic’s a mess 2. high school Twixt and post-college Twixt are different people and trying to contort myself into three other me-shapes just cause people Like this fic is not something I’m super interested in 3. it’s headed for an emotional dip and I’d rather leave it where it is than post two chapters, stall out again, and leave folks with a bad end.

As for other fics... it’s looking more and more likely that v7 of my Yellow Brick Road AU will never actually make it out. >w>; I’ve got some really great ideas, but not enough to make me feel like I know what I’m doing, and that’s a big roadblock. Plus trying to engage with RT’s Atlas-Mantle worldbuilding in any serious capacity is... a headache. I can’t recommend the Happy Huntress Cinematic Universe enough, but it leaves some pretty big shoes to follow! And I’ve got small feet. <w<;

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue’s fun, probably as an extension of characterization. I love tearing into what makes people tick, especially against the backdrop of their environment, the story they’re in, and the people they’re up against. Voice is a double-edged sword; I’ve been told my writing is really recognizable and individual, but on the other hand, I’ve been growing frustrated with with the limits of my narrative ability. There’s a strong rhythm I keep when I write (you might notice it here, even) but that leaves me feeling predictable and stale. I’m not sure I’m great at setting as a matter of course, but I’m pretty good at describing setpieces where the need comes up; that comes from my background in poetry, as does the fun I have with sublimating and abstracting complex imagery. And I think I bring some needed nuance to the universal. For good or ill, I don’t do what “everyone else” is doing.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Well, writing, for one thing. If I don’t know how something’s going to go and don’t have the urge to write it, it isn’t getting done, which means there’s a billion things that will never see the page and a few hundred more that are never getting finished. I lose momentum easily and have a hard time getting started, and I put way too much standing on finding a foothold with other people; as critical as I am of my work, I have high expectations for the stuff that passes muster, and it never seems to measure up. I’m also really uncreative. Yeah, I can mix up elements and extrapolate events, but coming up with things wholesale is really hard, which is why I avoid it wherever possible and steal/reskin stuff from other places instead.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Something along the lines of “Hoo boy, I am Not qualified for this but hopefully it’s decent anyway.” Maria’s Spanish lines haven’t been a big deal – I’ve used it sparingly and, as a Latin language, it should be easy for English-speaking audiences to pick up on the gist – but I’ve had a harder time with Tai’s Chinese, both because I have Even Less background there and because it is, of course, an entirely different language system. If I write it out in English or Romanized italics, am I colonizing it or changing the meaning? If I write it out in the presumed-original characters (presumed because it’s Google Translate and who knows if I’m even barking in the right forest), am I confusing or alienating my presumed-majority-English-speaking audience? Where should I put the translations? Should I put the translations? And for Frisk’s sign language, thinking back, are the brackets I used instead of quotes alienating/infantilizing? I like that different characters give the text between a different feel, but I’m not an ASL speaker – and I’m pretty sure the word is “speaker,” which would only reinforce that that demographic would rather I didn’t do that. It’s important for all these characters, I think, that they use non-English language where it makes sense; it’s part of who they are. But as a white monolingual English-speaker, I don’t think I can really weigh in.

What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

Thaaaat’d be Pokémon, followed closely with Sonic the Hedgehog. Whether those fics are still on my ff.net account or not (pretty sure I’ve purged them, but you never know) I’ve still got a couple saved to a folder on my current laptop, ostensibly so I can look back and see how far I’ve come and more practically to allow for the possibility of furthering group cohesion through public shaming.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I still like the idea behind The Man Who Is Atlas, and Burning Bright (Still Awake) gets props for being my current fic, though it’s currently in that spot where I’m excited to get new chapters posted but also quietly marking everything up in red pen. I think Harbinger gets the crown here, at least for now.

[maximumcatfeels]

So, this will eventually be a finished story, but for now… It’s Halloween. I’m excited. I just redid my icon and my header picture. And I just wanted to share this small piece with you guys.

It’s not Beta’d yet (obviously) and I’m hoping I can get the actual story done by New Years… but I don’t have high hopes for that time line :S

There is some bad language in it so far, so uh be aware? (Moira is cranky AF)

As for pairings : Currently it’s Pharmercy and Sigmoira – but it’s more that everyone thinks Moira and Sigma are together and they both dance around the issue. Also the Pharmercy is SUPER unhealthy. 0/10 do not model any relationships off of it, guys.

Anyways, enjoy.

________

Moira O’Deorain had troubling remembering things before her death. To be fair her death had probably been very traumatic, if the shackles on her wrists and ankles were any indication. That and typically one didn’t turn into a banshee if you happened to pass on peacefully. (Actually, she didn’t know anyone that turned into a banshee after death besides her, but that was neither here nor there.)

That being said, Moira did remember a few things. She had been a witch in a small coven in the woods outside Aldersbrun. She used to have two dogs and a pet rabbit, plus a small hutch of rabbits she kept for meat and … magical experiments. Her little cottage near a large pond was dilapidated now, but it had been quite cozy when she had been alive.

She also knew - like she knew her own name - that the Witch of the Wilds, otherwise known as Angela Ziegler, was a massive winged cunt.

A massive winged cunt who was currently knocking on the rotted remains of her cottage door.

“Sod off!” Moira yelled through the door, rummaging in a ratty torn bag, checking that it had what she need to check her snare traps. She didn’t have time for this, she needed to get out and (hopefully) get some rabbit meat for dinner.

“Oh Moiraaaaaaa,” the literal witch sing-songed, apparently ignoring her, “is that anyway to talk to an old friend?”

“If you were an old friend, you’d know that is how I talk to everyone, now feck off!” Moira yelled over her shoulder, stuffing her favorite skinning knife in the bag. Thank the moon and stars she had a ward on the door keeping the bitch out.

“You didn’t use to be like this,” lamented Angela. Moira looked over her shoulder and noted the blue eye of the witch looking at her through one of the many holes in the door.  Did this witch know no boundaries? “I would know, you know. Since I’m an old friend.”

Moira resisted the urge to poke the witch’s eye out with a long clawed finger. She was pretty sure that Angela couldn’t break the ward as long as no part of her got through the door. Sadly, if Moira poked her eye out, she’d probably get some blood on her claws and then Angela would be able to get inside. Pity.

“I don’t have friends now, and I doubt I changed that much from when I was alive. Now leave!” Moira barked out as she slung the bag over her shoulder. She needed to get going, the sun was rising and she had shite to do.

The blue eye that had been peering through the hole in the door retreated. “But wouldn’t you like to know for sure?” came the purr of a determinedly persistent witch. “I could restore your memories, you know. And your house.”

Moira mouthed the next words sarcastically as Angela said them, “I would only ask for a very small thing in return.”

Every single time, this is how the conversation between them went. Moira was tired of it. Maybe being blunt would help get rid of her. She didn’t want to open the door with Angela right there. Bitch might take it as an invitation to come in.

“No. I’ve seen what you ask for in return! Quite frankly, I don’t even know if I have a soul anymore, so stop asking!”

“It doesn’t have to be your soul…” Angela purred. Moira could see that she had plastered herself, well-endowed chest first against the door, a half lidded blue eye peeking through a hole. “Your mind or magic will do…. Hmmm, maybe even your bod-“

“No!” Moira was not going to play those games! Especially not with her! “Don’t you dare even go there! I am done with this conversation! Now leave before I start screaming!” She would start doing her banshee wail, if that’s what it took to get rid of this witch on her doorstep, but she’d rather not. She’d probably wake half the forest, and Akande, the fish monster living in the pond, did not appreciate that.

“Wait!” The witch sounded genuinely panicked. She had also stumbled away from the door a step or two, just in case of screaming.  “I just wanted to beg a favor of you!”

Moira scoffed. That wasn’t new either. “Let me guess, you got bored with your latest conquest and ‘accidentally’ did them a mischief?”

“No!” Now Angela just sounded indignant. “Fareeha is doing just fine!”

Moira rolled her eyes. How well could anyone be after having their soul stuffed in enchanted armor and their original body possessed by another spirit?

“What I need from you, my beautiful banshee,” Angela continued in her sultry you-definitely-want-to-take-this-deal tone, “is help me and my servants in assaulting the Castle this year. It happens tomorrow night, and I believe with you on our side, we can have the upper hand for sure.”

Oh bollocks, it was that time of year again, wasn’t it. She had finished her warding preparations last week, but she needed to stockpile a few extra days of food, too. Moira sighed, she had to get rid of this witch, now, or else everything would be behind schedule.

“No. I’m working.” That was… not the best answer, but it was fairly accurate. Angela didn’t need to know what the work was exactly.

“What do you mean working?! You’re dead!”

Maybe a dose of truth would get her to leave, Moira thought as she snapped back, “Every single fucking year, you either win or you lose your fight with the castle defenders with minimal difference either way, but the rest of the fae and supernatural folk suffer. When you win, the humans send more hunters, who tear up the forest looking for you but finding the rest of us poor sods. And when you lose, there’s a power struggle between idiots until you reform.”

The witch was silent for a moment. Moira hoped that she would take the hint and leave now, but sadly, the brat then asked, “And what does that have to do with you?” and Moira’s already thin patience frayed even more.

“I sodding live here, you insufferable harlot! I have to deal with the aftermath!”

“Harlot?! Harlot?!“ Ah, shite, now the witch was pissed off too. “How dare you! Like you’re one to point fingers!  I bet you’re just going to go disappear for a few days with your own man whore, the astro-mancer who lives on the edge of your territory!”

Oh. That. BITCH. That was it!

Letting her fury take over, Moira threw open her door and screamed right in the stupid witch’s surprised face.

The force of her scream forced the witch to topple backwards and be dragged by the sonic blast along the gravel laden ground of the walkway.

“Ugh. I don’t know why I even bother!” The witch huffed as she got up; reaching for her fallen hat and tugging her rumpled clothing back into place. “I’m just trying to help you!”

“I don’t need your help! Now begone!” Moira screeched, no longer caring about the neighbors.

The witch plopped her signature hat back on her head, hopped on her broom side-saddle and flew away with only a “hmph!” thrown over her shoulder in lieu of a goodbye. Which was fine by Moira.

“Good riddance.” She muttered under her breath.

She stepped outside (finally!) and shut the door behind her. But as she turned back to start down the gravel path, a new visitor zipped into view. Oh god, it was that annoying will-o-wisp, Lena. What else could go wrong today?

“Yes, Lena?” Moira sighed.

The Will-o-wisp rocked back and forth on her heels, mischievous smile plastered on her face, “Sooo, I couldn’t help but overhear part of your row with the Witch…”

Moira dug her claws into the strap of her ratty bag. “Get to the point,” she growled.

“You ARE going to the astro-mancer’s house instead of helping her, aren’t you?”  Lena asked, cocking her head to one side.

Moira counted to ten in her head, then exhaled. “Yes-“

“And you ARE setting up wards at his place to keep her out, right?” Lena interrupted.

Moira blinked. She set up those wards to keep the bitch out, and keep her from bothering poor Siebren yes. But why was Lena asking this now? “Well, yes but-“

“AND you ARE setting up protections to keep hunters away too, right?”

Moira was still confused as to where this was going. “Yeeessssss….” She answered slowly. “But what does-“

“Do you think Emily and me can spend a couple of days crashing at his place, too? I helped defend the castle last year,  (and they don’t need me this year thankfully) but I think the witch is pissed off at me. And yeah, she can’t do nothin’ to me, but she might target my new girlfriend Emily. Well, I say new – but is it really new if you were already dating in a different dimension? Anyways, have you met Emily? She’s a doll! Best human I’ve ever known! We need more humans like her! She doesn’t even ask about how I technically don’t exist in this plane or why I’ve got a pumpkin shackled to me chest-“

Moira blinked a few times at the sheer amount of word vomit Lena was spewing in her direction. But eventually her mind caught up and parsed the first question.

“Lena!” She said sharply to get the will-o-wisp to shut up for two seconds. “It’s not my house. You’d have to ask Siebren if he would allow it.”

“But what about your wards?”

Moira furrowed her brow. “What about them?”

“Don’t you have to let us  in or else I’ll get poofed?”

“No? That’s not how they work. Who told you that?”

“Sombra! You know, the new bride of Junkenstien’s monster that actually doesn’t want anything to do with him? Anyway, Sombra said you had to uh…’white-list’ us to get in through the wards or else we’d be poofed!”

Moira had NO idea what the hell Lena or Sombra were talking about. “Look, Lena, the only people who can’t go near Siebren’s house are the Witch of the Wilds, her known cronies, and hunters. Everyone else can go into his house as long as you politely ask Siebren, the actual owner of the house. So go ask him, not me!”

Lean’s face lit up. “Everyone can go?”

Moira froze. Oh shite. She should not have told Lena that. “Now, Lena, wait! Hold on a mo-”

But it was too late, the seed had been planted. Lena started babbling again, “Oh oh oh! We could make it a party! We could invite all the fae and supernaturals of the forest! Like a giant feast and slumber party! Oooooh! We could do party games! Like bobbing for eyeballs! Or pin the tail on the hellhound! Ahhh! This is the best! I’ll go ask him right now!”

Moira called out, “Wait, Lena!” but Lena just chirped “Thanks luv! Hope to see you there!” and zipped away like a hyper active flea.

Moira stood there in silence for a second, her mind reeling. The wards were done and so were the protections to keep nosy hunters away, but she didn’t have nearly enough food for a party much less several days of waiting out hunters with that many mouths to feed.

“Well,” came a low smooth voice behind her, “you know your soft hearted idiot mage is going to say yes to her. And yes to anyone else that asks.”

She turned around to see Akande, the fish monster, resting his head on his arms on the shore of the pond, webbed feet kicking lazily behind him.

“Good morning, by the way,” he added with a small wave of his webbed fingers. ”It’s always so lovely to be woken up by a screaming match between two magic users before the sun has risen. Especially when you are nocturnal and trying to fall asleep.”

Moira sagged her shoulders. “How can I make it up to you this time?”

Akande smirked. “Make sure there’s a tub of water filled for me at your precious Siebren’s place. I’ll come by and ask for his official permission tonight.”

She groaned, and pinched the bridge of her nose with one hand, but nodded.

“Oh and don’t worry, I’ll make sure to get the word out that the guests for this particular party need to bring their own food provisions. I sincerely doubt you’ve got enough stashed away for that many people. Besides, you’ve only been hoarding human food, have you not?”

Moira felt a surge of gratitude, “Yes, all the food has been for him, so I don’t have to leave and restock it.”

“And what about for you? Do you have some food for you tucked away?”

Moira shook her head. She trod a weird line between fae and undead, so her sustenance needs were tricky. If Siebren remembered to put out offerings of milk and honey, she’d be fine, but usually he forgot and she’d have to sneak in eating the life force off a passing bird or another small creature while he wasn’t looking.  “I’ll be fine.”

Akande raised one fishy eyebrow, but didn’t call her out on it. “Well, at any rate, I’ll bring in something as payment for the hospitality.”

Ugh, every time Akande brought her food it was a large stinky fish. Only now it would be several large stinky fish. Great.

“You better get going; the sun’s rising. And I know you don’t do well in the noon-day sun. See you later tonight, Moira.” And with that, he pushed himself back into the pond and disappeared into the water.

Moira sighed one more time for good measure and then set off to go find some food for the upcoming “party”.

[mobius-prime]

149. Sonic the Hedgehog #83

I haven't yet mentioned it, but it's worth pointing out about now that Tails has begun to undergo his final visual transformation. For over a hundred issues now, he's been drawn to look… well, nothing at all like his counterpart from the games, really. He's been colored anywhere from dark, dark brown to a dim orange-yellow, drawn with very strange secondary fur tufts on his cheeks, given generic head fluff instead of the anime-esque three strands of fur on his forehead, and just generally looked like some sort of drowned rat a lot of the time. I’m gonna chalk this up to a combination of awkward-looking early North American Sonic art, the mild ambiguity of early pixel graphics, and artistic liberties taken by the early artists for the comics (after all, Archie Bunnie looks pretty different from SatAM Bunnie as well). But now that the comics are slowly taking steps to fall more in line with the designs from the games, Tails has begun to be drawn and colored much more like how he looks in said games, using Sonic Adventure as a guideline (considering, you know, that it was the only 3D Sonic game out at the time). This isn't totally consistent between issues - we're sort of in a transition period right now where his design flip-flops around depending on the artist - but in the end they settled decisively on the design from the modern 3D games, and you can see the beginnings of that influence in this issue's cover in particular.

Menace to Society

Writer: Bollers Pencils: Butler Colors: Gagliardo

Knuckles, in the middle of continuing to explore the Mystic Ruins, chances upon an unconscious Eggman lying on the ground. He immediately, after wondering briefly who put him in this position, considers outright killing him, which, man, while it's kind of dark, I can't say I disagree with. I mean, at this point he's still an inorganic machine instead of flesh and blood, so that might be hard to pull off, but man, Knuckles, do it. I don’t care if it's murder in cold blood - you'd be saving the world a whole hell of a lot of pain and suffering if you just went through with it. Unfortunately, he doesn't notice the blob of living water creeping up behind him…

Meanwhile, in Station Square, the Freedom Fighters are hanging out while Sonic tells the story of his and Knuckles' defeat of Chaos on the Egg Carrier, believing their problems to be over and done with. However, there's one loose end to tie up - the loss of Tails' inexplicable blue fighter plane that never existed until the previous issue.

That's actually remarkably good thinking, Nate, considering Tails never thought of such a thing in the actual game. Would have saved him a lot of trouble in the long run. Sonic and Tails race out to find the plane, but on their way, find an unconscious Knuckles on the ground, with Eggman flying off in his Egg Mobile nearby. Sonic initially assumes that Eggman must have attacked Knuckles, but Knuckles corrects him that it was Chaos, still alive after all. They rush to Tails' plane, but find Big the Cat a short distance away also recovering from being hit on the head, and before they can reach the plane a jet of water blasts up from its location.

Well, it only has one Super Emerald - how easy could it be for it to get the other six, anyway? At that moment, Mayor Bullyani is taking the rest of the team through some more tours of his city, including into the facility that houses the power source that maintains Station Square's artificial environment. What is this power source, you ask? Why, of course, the other six Super Emeralds! And everyone arrives just in time to watch Chaos ooze its way into the display case after dripping through the ceiling tiles.

On the streets of the city, the waters begin to ripple and manhole covers shake, and water begins bursting out of the sewers and pouring from the windows of the skyscrapers. Guess who it is?

As the Freedom Fighters spring into action, grabbing and rescuing any stranded citizens they see, Sonic, Knuckles, Tails, and Big all arrive in the city to see the destruction. They ponder how to defeat it only to see Eggman break through the city's false sky in a new battleship, furious at Chaos' "betrayal" and determined to blast it into oblivion.

Eggman's battleship explodes, sending him flying, and at that moment Tikal's spirit touches Sonic's forehead, showing him a brief image of Chaos as it existed in its peaceful form in the past before manifesting as a ghost standing in front of him. For whatever reason, her name is misspelled as "Tical" throughout the issue, which is downright bizarre given that they spelled it right only a couple of issues ago, and this problem persists into the next issue as well. She insists that they must defeat Chaos without destroying it, using the power syphon that controls the city's environment to drain its power so that they can seal it into the Master Emerald.

Uh, nice ninja pose there, "Tical." Sonic, using the power of the Super Emeralds as well as the positivity from his friends nearby, is able to transform into Super Sonic, and rushes forward to fight the monster. He uses his enhanced speed to create a whirlpool out of the water that disorients Chaos and slams it into a skyscraper, and Tikal thinks it's working, but Sonic realizes it only made the creature even more mad, rushing back into the fray as the city watches…

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #234

“don’t take care of me - be scared of me.”

Does it bother you when people beg? I mean, it depends on the consistency, intensity, and the subject. Do you ever eat cookie dough raw? I have, but salmonella will punish me some day. Are you one of those people who are always cold? I am the exact opposite. When was the last time you rode a rollercoaster? Pf, never. Don't want to. Do you like hot dogs? I hate the fact that I love them lol. Do you have any weird rings? I wouldn't consider any "weird," no. Have any bad addictions? Ugh, caffeine. Are you anything like your siblings? I am very, very different from my two immediate sisters. Ma says I'm extremely similar to Katie, my half-sister, though it's odd because we don't seem to agree on very much? I don't even think she likes me. When was the last time you shaved your legs? Literally not since like... February. It's not like anybody but family sees my legs anyway. It's just stupid societal expectations for a woman, and I've never been prone to obeying those to begin with. Do you like long bike rides? I used to LOVE riding my bike when I lived in the woods/by an almost-dead road, but I haven't that in... god, years. I don't even have that bike anymore. My knees would never, EVER survive riding one right now. Do you know someone who is blind? My sister is in one eye, but I can't remember which. Do you have a YouTube account? how else would I like every Mark video in existence and I wish I was kidding?????????????? How many cell phones have you had? No clue. Not many. Maybe like, four or so. When was the last time something bothered you? Yesterday 'cuz I was getting weird fuckin phone calls. Do you ever try free samples at the store? Sure, if they seem like something I'd like. Can you speak French or Spanish? No. What school year do you think will be/was the saddest? 8th. Anxiety and depression were getting bad, puberty was A Thing, confused about life in general and why all this sadness and fear was happening to me. Do you like boys with long hair? I mean this depends on the person, but in general, yes. I think I prefer it over shorter, in most cases. Have you ever had plum juice? No, but that sounds decent. If I can even remember what a plum tastes like... I loved them as a kid, haven't had one in like, years. Have you ever passed out? Once, almost twice not long after the first time. Was today someones birthday that you know? No. Have you drank any water today? A little bit. When was the last time you had a crowd at your house? Holy shit. Probably not since we MOVED here in '17. Are you worried about anything right now? When aren't I at least a bit worried about something, really. Are you keeping anything from your best friends right now? No. Do you currently have any mosquito bites? Not currently. A- blood, hell yeah man. Do you have Twitter? Yes. Literally to like. um. one somebody's stuff. If you found out you were pregnant, who would you tell? God FUCKING forbid. Obviously my family. Sara. If it was from consensual sex, I'd tell friends eventually. If it was, uh, any other way, probably not EVEN some family because there are some that would probably never speak to me again if I got an abortion. Is your driveway stone or pavement? Stone. Have you ever caught something on fire? Yeah. Y'know, s'mores, sparklers, wood when making a bonfire or something. Regular stuff. How many people have you kissed in a car? One or two. Idr if Sara and I ever have. Do you and your best friend have an inside joke? "buzzfeed" Do you have a gym membership? Not anymore. How long was your last shower? Not even ten minutes. Get clean and get out. What is your favorite color fingernail polish? I think red tends to be the prettiest. If you had to get a tattoo, what would it be of? Man, don't ask me this. I have a billion ideas. If I had the money for it though, I'd probably finally get this (Denialism) as a tat on my left upper arm next. It's like, my favorite drawing ever, and I've already gotten the artist's permission. What is the best fast food place, in your opinion? Sonic has had my heart lately. What is your favorite eye color in the opposite sex? I just generally like vibrant and/or light blue eyes, but I really don't care about someone's eye color. What is your mom’s maiden name? Yeah, let's share that on the Internet. Would you rather receive balloons or flowers for valentine’s day? Flowers. Balloons are nothing but waste and wind up as litter anyway. Do you follow the crowd when it comes to trends or do your own thing? Do my own thing. Trends 'n shit don't matter to me; I don't care how "cool" or "uncool" something is. I like what I like. What is your worst bad habit? Assuming the worst of absolutely everything within .01 seconds. Do you believe in happily ever after? No. Things aren't always gonna be happy, sorry. What is your average phone bill? I don't know, Dad pays it. Which is better: chapstick or lip gloss? Chapstick. Have you ever been proposed to? No. Do you take certain medicine on a daily basis? A decent number. Have you ever seen two people together and you got sick to your stomach? I remember seeing a picture of Jason and his girlfriend after me once after they got together and I. Don't know how to describe that feeling. I think I felt more murderous than anything. Do you prefer laptops or desktop computers? Laptops for portability's sake. Have you ever had a really bad haircut? Looking back, the haircut I had before this one wasn't great. Only at some angles did it look good. I mean I don't regret it though, it's how I realized I think I'd like short hair. Did you ever order any clothes from the Alloy catalog? Never heard of them. What brand, color, and type is your favorite eyeliner? I love black eyeliner, but I don't have any favorite brands. I hate liquid, though. My hands aren't steady enough for that, and it's just messy. What’s your favorite type of yogurt? Meh, not a big fan. Idk. Do you have any overdue library books right now? No. Do you have a piggy bank? No. Do you remember your locker combinations from high school? Nope. Do you own plaid pants? No. Have you ever had to wear a school uniform? Yeah, through all of middle school. What was your high school’s mascot? A firebird. Who were your best friends in high school? I had various ones. Excluding The Ex, there was Hannia, Alon, Megan, Maria, Girt... There was a few. Have you ever been to Chicago? Once, with Sara and her dad. At night. And the lights and cars and shops and towers and everything was too much for my rural ass. I'm not a city person, but because it was SO different and just incredible in scope and all, I still thought it was absolutely beautiful and so exciting. Would you rather sleep on the top bunk or bottom bunk? Bottom. When my sister and I were little and shared a room though, I almost always had the top bunk. As I got older though, that inverted. Have you ever had a secret admirer that left you notes? I THINK Aaron did once, but I can't remember for sure. Are you close with your cousins? No. Are you close to any aunts or uncles? Not especially, but only because, like my cousins, I pretty much never see them. Are you close to your grandparents? All but one is dead, and that one is dying. Barely knew any, save for my remaining grandmother, and we've never gotten along well/agreed on much, but I mean, I still care for her. I also pretty much never saw her. Who betrayed your trust? Plenty of people. Who was your first best friend (apart from a sibling)? Brianna. What was your favorite thing to do at sleepovers when you were younger? I don't know. Probably play make-believe or go swimming. What kind of popcorn is your favorite? Normal with butter and salt. Does your town have a big fountain in it? The next town over does. What is your town known for? "You mean Tennessee?" Don't think that's too much of a giveaway. What’s one way in which you’re still a child? I am very dependent on Mom. What’s one way in which you’re old? My knees are at least 107. Do you know what you want to do for your next birthday? gooooooood take me to get a tatTOOOOOOO What would be the best surprise you could receive right now? Mom buying tickets to the Ozzy concert next year alksdjfalwe. I've been losing my fucking mind since the new single came out and album was announced. Do you usually forgive when someone hurts your or try to get revenge? I'm not a vengeful person at all, really. I tend to forgive. Were there any subjects in school that were really easy for you? English has always been a breeze, and usually science. Did you ever skip a grade or get held back a grade? No. Do you think you look better with dyed hair or natural hair? Just about anyone looks better with dyed hair to me. I just like colorful, interesting hair. Has your hair color changed since you were a toddler? Yes. I was born dirty blonde. Do you own an American flag shirt? No. Do you own a British flag shirt? No. Do you have a seashell collection? No. We used to have a box of them, though. Do you have a rock collection? No. What is your favorite thing to do in the pool? Just chill. Casually swim around aimlessly. Cacti or seashells? Hmmmm. I think seashells, but that's tough. Dreamcatcher or wind chimes? MAN, this depends on the design. Have you ever taken a picture at the perfect moment? The only one I have that I consider the absolute *perfect* moment was at Ashley's gender reveal when she and her husband found out the baby is a girl. Her face especially is priceless. What color was your first car? N/A Was your first car used or new? N/A What was the last thing you said in complete caps? HAHAHA I sent Sara a fucking CURSED picture of Pennywise as a good morning text. Do you enjoy playing board games? Not really. Are you good at playing Hide and Go Seek? I guess I was as a kid. I'm sure I wouldn't be now. Elephants can't really hide. :^) Do you live in an apartment or a house? A house. Is there a music artist that never ceases to amaze you? As far as truly *amaze* goes, probably Amy Lee. Her voice is just fucking incredible. What is your favorite term of endearment? Probably "love." Or "dear." I dunno. Do you like Twizzlers? NO. They're gross as hell. Do you sneak in candy/soda when you go to the movies? Yeup. Fuck those prices. What was the last song you had on repeat? I adore Ozzy's new "Under The Graveyard" beyond words and so have been binging it like mad since yesterday lmao. Where are your favorite pair of jeans from? I don't have jeans. Do you tap your foot when you listen to music? No. If I respond to it in any voluntary way, I'll most likely be tapping my hand with the beat. Will you get your hair cut anytime soon? I need to, yeah. I hate when my hair starts getting long enough to curl a tad upwards in the back. Are you uncoordinated? VERY. Have you ever listened to Jane’s Addiction? I know and enjoy "Jane Says" and "Been Caught Stealing." What’s the worst thing you’ve ever experienced? Heartbreak. What’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen? I dunno, there's a lot. Do you write “Dear Diary” when you write in your diary? I don't have a diary. I don't think I ever did. What is your escape from your problems? Music, playing WoW, stuff like that. Just give me a distraction. Do you watch YouTube videos a lot? Literally every day throughout the day. It's at least background noise. Do you have an embarrassing period story? No, thankfully. Would your life be at risk if someone knew everything about you? No. Is your life at risk? I mean, more than like by disease, some psycho, an accident, shit like that, no? Do you feel safe in your hometown? No. Never did. I miss our house and the childhood memories, but that place was dangerous. Where do you dream of moving to? The mountains of NC. What fascinates you more: outer space or the bottom of the ocean? Space. Have you ever seen a UFO? I guess by the definition of "unidentified flying object," yes, but I think it was some sort of natural phenomenon with a star, not an alien. Maybe. Does anyone encourage you to go after your dreams? Yeah. :') What is the stupidest thing anyone’s ever said to you? "i'Ll AlWaYs LoVe YoU, bRiTtAnY!" What’s the most amount of weight you’ve gained from a medication? LET'S. FUCKING. NOT. Do you name inanimate objects? No. What do you think the constellations mean? "Nothing? Just humanity reaching to ascribe some type of meaningfulness to the world around them." <<<< This, I like this. Did you like the venue your senior prom was held at? I mean it was at the local college's gym. Nothing special. Which spelling do you like best: Hayley, Hailey, or Haley? Hm, I think "Hailey." Which name is better: Hailey, Bailey, Kailey, or Shailey? Ummmmm I think "Kailey." Are you mad at someone? I'm always going to be mad to a degree. Do you feel like your life was stolen from you? I guess in a way by mental illness? Do you have a professional camera? Yeah. What would you change about your hair? Ugh, I want to COLOR it. I really want silver hair atm. When was the last time you changed your hairstyle? Last year. Do you like rose gold? I love it. What’s your favorite color gummy bear? I don't... care? Oh wait, maybe green. Those normally have an apple kinda feel, right? Or do they all thaste the same? What is the sexiest part of the opposite sex’s body? I like s h o u l d e r b l a d e s. Have you ever made up/sang a song for someone you cared about? Only ever poems. Ever had a song sang about/for you? I mean, I've had like songs /dedicated/ to me, but never actually made for me specifically. What is your middle name? Marie. Like every other white girl known to man. What do you smell like? My house, I guess? Ever hurt yourself playing Wii? I don't believe so. Do you have freckles? Not on my face, but random ones on the rest of my body, yeah. Can you do the alphabet in sign language? No. Do you like your feet? I seriously hate feet. That includes mine. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever had in your mouth? uhhhhhhhhh Has anyone ever threatened you with a knife? No. (If you’re a girl) Has anyone ever called you "shorty" instead of "girl"? Ugh no, thank Christ. Have you ever sent an embarrassing moment of yours into a mag to be printed? No. What IS your most embarrassing moment? I've told it before but now I don't remember it??? What’s the last thing to make you scream? Like a small, quick one, I think a loud noise scared me. I've been extremely sensitive to those lately and idk why??? Do your parents knock before coming in, or just barge on in? My door's never really closed, but when it is, Mom doesn't. Dad does. Do you think you’re more cute or sexy? BOY neither. Do you own any mini skirts? Bitch I wish I could wear mini skirts but I would blind people with my body rn. Do you draw little hearts and stuff with eyeliner next to your eyes? Nah. What’s the most expensive thing you’ve ever lost? Good question, idk. Has your mom ever lied to you? Yeah. Do you have a deep voice? It's definitely deep for a girl, but it's not like, manly. When’s the last time someone made breakfast for you? I guess the last time I was out for breakfast? Idr. When someone knocks on the door, who do you think it is? A mailman/woman. No one else comes here unexpectedly. Has anyone ever licked your foot? UM NO Do you play games with boys/girls, like "hard to get"? I never did and never will. I'm definitely not easy, but I don't play games. Oh wait, unless we're already a serious couple and I'm sexually being a tease. Hobby. When’s the last time someone told you they were in love with you? Some time back. Is there a Sonic where you live? mmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM- Do you smile with your teeth? Usually. What do you like on your pizza? Pepperoni, jalapenos, sausage... stuff like that. I'm WEAK for meat lovers pizza sobs heavily in wanna-be vegetarian Do you know anyone who lives in Newfoundland? No. How ‘bout Alberta? No. Anyone in Canada at all? Yeah, a friend's ex. She's cool. If you could trade houses with a friend, who would it be? I wouldn't damn anyone with this house, lol. I mean it's not bad, it just has its issues. Are you a good person to come to for advice? It depends on the subject we're talkin' here. Do you sleep naked? No. I'd feel so vulnerable. Favorite place you've been: Through the NC mountains. Which of your Facebook friends lives closest to you? UHHHHHHHHH how do I not know this?? When was the last time you cried? Idr, actually. Who took your profile pic? Where? What’s your favorite season? Autumn. What was the last book you read? The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. Fucking read it. Are you a good influence? This also depends on the area of focus. Does pineapple belong on pizza? NO. Sweet and savory do noooot mix in my world.

[tinymixtapes]

Music Review: Charli XCX - Number 1 Angel

Charli XCX Number 1 Angel [Asylum; 2017] Rating: 4/5 ARE YOU WASTING MY TIME? ARE YOU JUST BEING KIND? The crunch of car on car is scraping metals and peeled-off paints, but it may as well be the sound of our fleshy bodies in collision. “I didn’t see you there!” the drivers say, “Your body, my body/ We were close, but still so far away” or worse: “I didn’t mean to hurt you.” We’re always rubbing up against each other, taking turns too tight and colliding our selves together, then apart, always surprised that there’s another body, a different life, a separate existence in our path, that prayer like Madonna, the coo husk “Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide/ That’s how I feel: Don’t fog my mind.” We’re masses of flesh and bone and neuron and we supposed we would strike out on the terms of our own individualities: we terraformed something called a self out of the oppressing forces of time and physics and scrutinized our own country of “I” against outer-infrastructures, riding out the individual shiftings and erosions in the days that became what we called lives. Maintaining our countries of self is the only and hardest thing we’ll all do, maintaining feels improbable in optimals, impossible in winters. Engaging in our humanity is hard. And then there’s everybody else’s car on the highway, everybody else’s everybody, bumping colliding, crossing our skin and brain’s borders, violating our selves with waves of thems. Everybody lives alone together; no humanity in a vacuum. Engaging in our humanity is hard. Engaging in someone else’s humanity is life stuff, raw divine and wrenching pain, the flower and the petals pulled off. Engaging hurts. “Are you wasting my time? ” I ask you. “Are you just being kind?” I ask myself. Like Madonna’s “Love Song” for impassioned relating and the two humans arguing over whose car hit whose, Charli XCX’s Number 1 Angel is a text for mitigating engagements. Charli’s language — whether it’s a stutter boom of drum and vocal fry, the automobile verse-chasing ecstasy on “Dreamer,” or the heart-pumping pink gasoline into da-doo trance on “Pull Up” — is the language of pop music always becoming pop music. Number 1 Angel is a maybe mixtape, sorta free, but released by a voice that’s constantly solving life’s real problems with the imagined solutions of pop music. “I’m a dreamer,” Charli reminds us. Pop is dream stuff for bodies. --- IT’S NATURAL, IT’S CHEMICAL, IT’S LOGICAL, HABITUAL: CAN WE DO IT? The promise of pop is that all the traumas and collisions in life and parking lots can be ameliorated in the three-and-a-half-minute hit; like humanity, there’s no pop without engaging in other voices and ears. “You know I never really thought about/ How it feels to say these words aloud,”” Charli confesses on the blip-glitter-blip of “Ily2,” a song for swaying shaking before it bottoms out in a screaming lipstick guitar squeal, a soliloquy like screaming at the club floor. Number 1 Angel is music for ears, proof for engaging, and its sonics follows Charli’s Vroom Vroom; this is pop as excision, removal of nicety, addition of excess. But pop music has always been a language of both engaging with (M’s manifesto: “I wanna dedicate it, infiltrate it/ Everybody made it, activate it”) and engaging out (M’s make-it-up: “Shoobie doobie doo-wop/ Bop bop shoo-wop””). And Number 1 Angel — the pop-rotting root-canalled “Lip Gloss,” the bare-stare numbing “Drugs” — is music for moving that makes you a little afraid that you wanna move this much. It kisses us, and it rots our teeth. “There’s things that you guess and things that you know,” and pop knows that you’re both those things. Pop music and Number 1 Angel needs our ears, chooses to engage our faculties in pleasure; without us, pop is mute and without pleasure, pop is oblivion. But its best architects (George Michael: “Somewhere along the way, pop lost all its respect. And I think I kind of stubbornly stick up for all of that.”) know that the whole of the thing is chasing wholeness in itself. Pop music has to be the boom, and the clap, the bigness of the hit (dual languages of physical pummeling and quantifiable mass) followed by the imploding clap. George Michael’s faith reversed the revered object: the lust-object, formerly just your ears and attentions, is pop itself. The pronouns, the muse Charli and George seduce and can’t resist, are the sugar apocalypses of pop music. “It’s natural, it’s chemical: can we do it? ” and Charli and all her angels know: “I went to go get it, I get it, I got it, I went to go get it, I get it, I got it.” Pop as apocalypse orgasm (all-consuming never-ending nothing-elsing until the song is over) is its natural state. “Uh-huh, so good, but I know you’re bad for me/ You got control, and you love the game,” Charli bangs out on “Blame it On You,” leveling: “with you I’m an addict” over the throb of A. G. Cook, of blood hitting all the extremities. The you is pop music; the muse we’re all trying to get with is the art itself. Number 1 Angel cracks some of Vroom Vroom’s cerebral ice to follow that heat source before it recedes a little, un-resolves. Pop needs you and your sex, and pop needs itself always to be never ending. “Emotional” is that perfect pop moment, the beginning of ending “All over, deep under my skin,” the body being wanted and the pulling, engaging, “You got me so emotional,” the bottom-out bass dropped admission: “We had something that never happened.” And then the song is over, three minutes and fifty-four seconds. Number 1 Angel makes me feel like I don’t ever want to say goodbye, but I can’t not. --- YOU MAKE ME FEEL GOOD, COME ON TO ME COME ON TO ME NOW It’s tempting, too easy, to slide Number 1 Angel in as an inevitable Charli release, impossible accessible, unable to hear too much of — the pop for us, the pop wanting itself. That possible narrative postulates pop as result-based, almost automatic, and would have our ears buy Number 1 Angel as a next step after Vroom Vroom, after everything that already happened. Pop is always validation, and it doesn’t need lines of occasion or inevitables. The genes and vulgarities are there, the knuckle curves and diving slider sounds of A. G. Cook and SOPHIE and Danny L Harle distorting the warm crackle of knowable features by Abra and Starrah and Raye. But the pop model of mythologies has always disserviced its architects (Madonna: “I’ll stop doing everything that I do when I don’t want to do it anymore. I’ll stop when I run out of ideas. I’ll stop when you fucking kill me.”) Mythology proposes Number 1 Angel as the weird in-between moment, an improper release that weirds out as a reaction to “Fancy” and “I Love It” being bank, to Sucker’s comparable stalling after a darling Nuclear Season. But pop music, like the way human beings talk to/crash into human beings, like Charli XCX, doesn’t occur in a straight line because “the beat goes on and on and on and on and— ” It’s the dipping and sharp turns and the collisions that inform an art, give our bodies reason to move and live. Number 1 Angel: the un-mixtape before the who knows what is out of time, already after “After the Afterparty” and done before “1 Night.” It’s non-linear Technicolor, an ode to you and me and pop music and, ultimately, to Charli XCX: “It’s Charli, baby/ It’s Charli.” We’re all always colliding, peeling our petals together: pop music always sounds like love, because how else do we ever really get together? It’s messy and it’s unsavory, sounding this good, this “Babygirl” fever: “Think about us, we could burn up the second we fuck.” It’s the fuck and funk of the individuated humans trying to relate and sound right together alone. “I’m so sick of that same old love/ That shit it tears me up” someone sang. “I don’t care/ I love it,” said someone else. It’s the universal words we all hear together, but the author is Charli, and the love, the it, is giving, reciprocating, growing. There’s no humanity without the thing that we sometimes call engaging, sometimes call colliding; any reason for meaning, for being these bodies with each other, is art. Charli’s art is giving pop away to get back to the Number 1 Angel, which is her, which is me, which is you. It’s pop becoming us for us, and it always has been. “Je suis prete. Est-ce que vous etes pret, aussi?”// I am ready. Are you ready too?” http://j.mp/2nMPXQh

[apileoflaundry]

found another thing

have you ever had a conversation with a cab driver? Yeah but never one that was all that interesting do you have any shirts from vacation/tourist locations? Used to have a ton of them, but not anymore. I had one when I was a kid, it was from Oklahoma, and it was about tipping cows. That was cool lol. what is one place you would like to go back and revisit? Chicago. Haven’t been there in awhile. which would you prefer: a homemade gift, or a store-bought one? Homemade but obviously I’d accept store-bought ones. have you ever hugged a complete stranger? I’m not sure but probably not

when was the last time you were “under the influence?” Never how regular of an occurrence is this? Never what random acts of kindness have you engaged in lately? Sometimes I pick up trash from the ground. Idk what else do you know anyone who has never read the HP books? who? Probably plenty of people but I don’t care who. I’ve never read all of them myself have you ever had a relationship last for a year or longer? It feels like I have but I can’t remember what ended it, or are you still involved? *shrug* what kind of scented lotion is your favorite? I don’t care where’s the weirdest place you’ve stuck your used gum? When I was a kid I stuck it in someone’s car, she was pissed and made me clean it up what’s the best time you’ve had at a high school sports game? I went to a game with my dad, it was my high school vs. some school whose mascot was the Coyotes. But it wasn’t held at either high school, it was at our rival’s if you’re out late, where are you likely to be? Not likely to be out late do you ever visit your mall’s arcade (if it has one)? It doesn’t have one when was the last time you had hot chocolate? It was at school and it was basically hot water shirts with sarcastic sayings: yay, or boo? Yay. I want some. I have a baseball shirt that says “touchdown” if that counts if “yay,” do you have a favorite? ”Why be racist, sexist, homophobic, or transphobic when you could just be quiet?” (maybe not sarcastic but it feels like it) if you lost the use of your limbs, would you still want to live? Yeah I’ve got too much to live for, hope in a better future and of course being there for my girlfriend as examples what’s your absolute favorite topic to discuss? Anything I fanboy over

what is your least favorite topic to discuss? Uhhh personal things when I’m talking to people I don’t want to share them with when was the last time you played hide-and-go-seek? A couple years ago with my cousins where was your favorite place to hide? I never had one what is your opinion on psychics? real, or fake? Isaac Newton didn’t even exist he was just made up, so was physics have you ever watched “are you smarter than a fifth grader?” Yeah, I actually liked it when I was a kid how would you rank your “class participation” in school? It’s horrible in a group because I hate talking to people, but I still raise my hand in class so it’s not too bad have you ever cut your own hair? how about anyone else’s? A few times for myself, never for anyone else. You know how in books and movies there’s a trope where a kid cuts their own hair and it looks like shit? That never happened to me lmao. what is your favorite holiday treat? My grandmother makes these cookies called chocolate dogs and they’re delicious. I should ask her for the recipe so I can make some on my own. how many people have you emotionally hurt? Don’t have a specifically number but probably too many. I’m not the absolute worst person in the world but I’m kind of fucked up. I’m working on bettering myself and I’ve made some progress, but I certainly feel ashamed of my past. how many people have you physically hurt? I fought with my brother as a kid. But other than that not that many, I’m normally not physically violent. were these times intentional, or were they accidents/mistakes? Well both...I don’t want to go into detail :P what is the last thing you asked your parents to purchase for you? I asked for a haircut yesterday because I have no money. My dad gave me $40 and I have yet to use it. do you have any buttons or pins on your backpack? No but it would be pretty cool to have some.

if yes, what do they say? N/A what is your favorite kind of lunch meat? Ham. It goes well with cheese. And this weird spicy mustard we have in the fridge. do you know anyone who is truly obsessive compulsive? Not that I know of. have you ever been confined to a wheelchair? No. how many “top friends” do you have on myspace? ???

do you like oatmeal? It’s okay. I’ve never had good oatmeal though, just the crappy packaged kind from the store.

how many people are on your bzoink friends list? ?????? How old is this???? do you enjoy mainstream music, or prefer underground bands? Depends on what “mainstream” is. The Beatles are very popular but they’re not the top band of 2019. Anyway I like rock music so not very mainstream in the first place how many bands are you “friends” with on myspace? W h a t are you friends with more bands than individual people? meep

do you have a library card? do you use it? Yeah but rarely. I should use it more do you cuddle with your pet (if you have one)? Yeah I cuddle with my cat! He likes curling in a ball next to me when I’m sleeping :3 do you have any candy left over from halloween? I didn’t go trick or treating last year so no. I have some candy stored in my bedroom though. It’s mostly stuff I don’t care about but it’s still candy have you heard of paula godspeed? No have you ever made a bzoink friend test? I’ve never even heard of bzoink who has the best score on it? Jesus Christ himself do you think that you work better under pressure? It depends on what under pressure means. I work better when a deadline is coming up, and I buckle down and get to work. But I don’t work well when someone’s yelling at me to get stuff done, it just makes me stressed and I don’t work well when stressed.

or, do you ONLY work under pressure? Uh no what college did you want to attend as a kid? ASU was that still your choice when you grew up? I mean I’m 18 but I still feel like a kid, my plan is to go there after community college what sports star or athlete did you aspire to be like as a kid? I don’t play sports what has happened to all your old toys? We threw most of them out. But some of them, like my baby toys, were given to other people. when was the last time you shopped at a garage sale? When I was 10. I had a babysitter that liked garage sales have you ever thrown popcorn at anyone? I don’t think so but it sounds like something I would do haha

What’s your definition of weird? There are different kinds of weird. There’s weird as in, you’re different from other people, and there’s weird as in, you’re fucking creepy. The former is like people who like things that aren’t socially acceptable but don’t harm anyone, and the latter is when they do harm others, like pedophiles. I gladly accept anyone who’s weird as long as they’re not the harmful type. Do you use shaving cream? No because as of the time of writing I don’t need to shave. When I start testosterone I will When was the last time you cleaned your room? Is your room clean? I cleaned up a little the other day but it’s still messy Have you ever personally known any girl who shaved their head? Not personally. Have you ever known anyone who committed suicide? No, but that would devastate the shit out of me.

Have you ever tried to commit suicide? Yep. Have you ever coughed up blood? I’ve coughed up mucus with blood in it, but never pure blood How do you wish you could die? In my sleep. And also when just about everything I’ve ever wanted to do in my life has been fulfilled. What’s the longest phone conversation you’ve had lately? I haven’t had one lately. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? My dad I think What were the last words you said? ”(Brother’s name), be quiet” Who was the last person you hugged? My brother Do you have any apps on your Facebook? If so, what? Don’t have Facebook What’s some of the worst pain you’ve ever felt? Woke up one morning and my abdomen hurt like crazy for unknown reasons, I didn’t even want to get up. What kind of mouse pad do you have? I have one of a tiger that I’m not using. What color is your mouse? Black and gray. Do you or have you ever had an eating disorder? No. Do you think you’re fat? No. Do you know any who might be anorexic? Do you know anyone who has bulimia? Not that I know of. Did you ever want a pony when you were little? Yeah, I was never crazy about it but I had a toy pony named Boots, named after a pony my grandmother had. What’s your favorite cheese? Monterrey Jack I guess What’s your favorite cake? Ice cream cake is the shit What are you having/what did you have for dinner tonight? I didn’t have much of a dinner but I stole some fries from my dad and I had a shake from Sonic. What’s your favorite dessert food? Brownies. With M&Ms. What’s your favorite candy? Snickers. Have you ever had a Nos? Wtf is a Nos?? How long have you been taking this survey? A couple hours on and off What are you listening to right now? Lazy Eye by Silversun Pickups. It reminds me of a friend I used to have. Our friendship died awhile ago, maybe it was mostly my fault for not maintaining it, but I still find it sad even though I haven’t talked to him in years. Still it’s a great song, I just felt like sharing that What is the closest thing to you right now that is alive? My family sleeping What’s your worst fear? Shitting myself. I’m not kidding it scares the hell out of me Are you an outcast? Absolutely. Do you exercise? Hardly ever. I walk occasionally and ride my bike infrequently, but that’s about all I do. I know I should exercise more but I’m not sure where to start Do you hate it when people repeat themselves? Only when it’s annoying Do you say like a lot? Yep What’s your favorite carnival food? (cotton candy, corn dogs, funnel cake) Fried Twinkies Do you have a good memory? In 5th grade we went on a field trip to St Louis. We went to this museum for kids and I had a lot of fun. The most I remember of it was that there was a slide that was dark and it sent you to a room, and it had a camera so you could see if someone’s on the slide. We flipped off the camera. Do you dislike writing school essays? Yes Are you a very open-minded person? I’m mostly open-minded but not as much as I could be. Are you modest? Yeah I think so What kind of guys/girls do you usually fall for? Funny, dorky, kind ones.

Do you skate? Not really Are you in a band? Nope Can you play the guitar? If not, what other instrument do you play? I wanted to pick it up a long time ago but I hate playing instruments. I don’t know how to play anything besides the recorder If you were to make it big with your own band, what would its name be? The initials of everyone in the band (idk) What’s your favorite kind of pasta? Spaghetti but I fucking love pasta Would you rather a friend come over to your house or you go over there? I go over there What’s the perfect first date? Cuddling and watching anime Have you ever had rabies? No Do you know anyone who ever had to get a rabies shot? No Have you ever gone hunting? No Ever eaten deer? Duck? Squirrel? How about lamb? No Are you a vegetarian? Nope, I love meat Do you know any vegetarians? What about vegans? Yes Do you know what a vegan is? How about fruititarian? Oh come on What’s your favorite search engine? Google Internet Explorer or Firefox? Safari or Firefox? Chrome Do you have hair in your nose? Who doesn’t?? How long, in miles, is the width of your fingernail? 100000000000000000000+ miles Are you a math wiz? Noooo What’s your favorite subject? Don’t have one What is your locker number at school? Do you have a lock on your locker? We don’t have lockers. Used to but we got rid of them Have you ever received a note in your locker? No Do you like to laugh? Definitely, but doesn’t everyone?

Damn it’s over? I want to write more even though I'm tired :<

[the-black-star-citadel]

Inhibit your own Ambition (platonic Shadow/OC)

alternate title: Shadow: I’ve only known Zeo for a day and half and if anything happened to her I’ll kill everyone in this room and then myself

lol i’ve never played shadow the hedgehog or any sonic game with shadow but this is my own au so anything goes fuck u

“What have you done?!”

  The young Bandicoot stood amongst chaos, fire reflecting from her eyes as she was frozen. Fire overtook the pristine laboratory. Stark white was now contrasted by dark ash and scarlet flames. She… Shook. Her breath caught in her throat as she coughed, smoke filling her lungs like an empty reservoir. Etherian scientists rushed to put out the fire, many evacuating the facility while others came back with fire extinguishers and water. In that moment they all seemed to ignore her, as if she’s a forgotten experiment gone wrong. It wasn’t until one scientist, a woman who was relatively nicer to her than others, noticed her standing there. Fighting against the heat, the scientist ran towards the young girl, scooping her up and escaping the crumbling premises. She… She was shaking, her cheeks felt damp. “Don’t cry, it… Wasn’t your fault.” The scientist spoke softly, rubbing a thumb against her muzzle.

How she wished that nice scientist was here right now.

  Zeo never did learn how to control her powers correctly. She couldn’t even explain how she got them. She… Was born in that laboratory. She didn’t know to who, but she was born there and grew up there. The scientists weren’t the nicest but they were the family she had. They kept her locked in a tiny white room and would periodically come in and ask her to show them the powers she had. They… Asked a lot of her. Can you lift this, Zeo? Can you move that, Zeo? Hit this target Zeo. It was all too much for the young girl. She tried her best, she really did, but she would panic and her powers would spiral out of control. Not to mention her weaker immune system causing her to become sick more than usual. She was a disaster waiting to happen, at least, that’s what she figured the reason was for keeping her in that little little room.

  When Xirca found her wandering the Outskirts, she… Offered Zeo redemption. A chance to right her wrongs, to learn to control herself. To no longer hurt others. She saw it as a sign of hope, a sign of betterment. Xirca taught her many things, ways to channel her Ergokinesis. It only worked for so long, but with nothing to suppress the outlet that was her power, she’d just burn up and hurt herself and anyone else in the vicinity. It was then that Xirca told her what she had to do. To find a way to control her energy output better, she needed a conduit. That conduit would be the Fake Emeralds scattered across the multiverse. With her team set to collect the Chaos, Sol and Fake emeralds, Zeo saw it as her chance to finally end this vicious cycle that she had grown into.

...But that’s not what happened.

  Xirca fell to Team Chrono, incarcerated for her crimes against Black Star and her people. That left her last resort in charge of finishing her plans, Team Synthis and the various emeralds they were asked to collect. However under the pretense that the emeralds would help control Zeo’s powers, they did… The exact opposite.

  With the will of the Fake Emeralds, Zeo was transformed into Dark Zeo, a being of pure chaotic energy, and an unstable one at that. Her body wasn’t designed to take such an influx of power, it ultimately spiraled out of control and she destroyed more than she bargained for. But on the same token, it also empowered an ancient being of chaos who shared her blood.

  Vernal, an ancient Black Star Mobian whose blood was used to procure Zeo. She lacked the power it needed to fuse with Chroma and become their complete form. But with this bond, Vernal could directly tap into Zeo’s energy reservoir, thus supercharging the two Chaos Gods enough to become one. Overlooking Black Star, shadowing the entire planet in their fear. Ziphone was complete. Ziphone was whole. And they set out to do what they were made for, destroy Black Star’s existence and restore the flow of time. Zeo couldn’t help but blame herself, had she not fallen for Xirca’s words, perhaps…

 Like the rest of her team, Zeo fled and hid. With a powerful an artifact as the Fake Emeralds, Ziphone could use them to destroy the world as we know it. So her best bet was to just… Hide, and hope she would be spared by retribution. However, on the other side of the planet, Team Chrono had an idea. A last trump card up their sleeves. Using the last of the Chrono before it is drained from this world, Aura contacted her ultimate ally. Sonic the Hedgehog and his friends. With all of them together, there was no doubt that they could defeat Ziphone.

At least, they hoped.

  “Their name is Ziphone, a long forgotten god made from Black Star’s soil with the sole purpose of destroying it and her people, successfully erasing our universe and thus ceasing the spawning of Anomalys across the multiverse.” Vespyr glanced between the various Mobians surrounding her. This was Black Star’s biggest adversary yet. They had all dealt with many enemies together and individually, but this was worse than anything they’ve ever seen. “Two halves forming into a destructive, almighty god…” Silver muttered, looking between all of them. “Doesn’t that seem familiar?”

  “No kidding.” Sonic sighed, swiping a finger under his nose. “Gives me a real sense of deja vu now that I think about it, how about you guys?” The others seemed to shrug, all except for Shadow who huffed in agreement. Vespyr… Opted to stay quiet, it was best that they lived in ignorance of that fact, she figured. “Either way, there’s gotta be a way to stop them, right?” Sonic seemed hopeful, which was a good moral boost to the rest of the teams who gathered at Black Star’s epicenter, Lumis City. “But the real question is, how you expect us all to be able to take down a colossal god when there’s only like… A handful of us?” Aura narrowed her eyes, leaning against the table. Sonic, again, panned around the room. “There is way more than a ‘handful’ but I’ll take your word for it. But that is a really good question, how are we gonna pull this off… This is bigger than anything we’ve ever faced, quite literally.” Sonic sneered, which earned him quite the stink eye from the Black Star inhabitants, not the time for jokes he supposed. “Hey, what about those crystals on your back? What’d you call them- Chrono Shards right? You can just transform and we can do an awesome showdown like we always do. Piece of cake.” Sonic grinned, leaning back a bit. If… Only it was that easy. Aura shook her head, turning her back a bit to display the quickly greying shards that floated aimlessly upon her. “That- that being, whatever it is, it’s draining the power from us Chronomagi, not even Vespyr can use her Ephemeral Key. Without its power, it’s useless to us.” The hedgehog sighed, eyes downturned. Tails was quiet for a moment, glancing around the room. “Wait… Wouldn’t that mean without your powers you can’t take us home?” Team Chrono fell silent, glancing at the foreign Mobians they have brought into their world.

  “Well that just means we oughta beat that God or else we get erased from reality, right?” Everyone stared at Sonic dumbfounded but. He was right. Without the Chronal magic, they’d be caught in the blast radius and erased from history itself. Who knows what would happen to their alternate selves if that were the case. “How...ever… Last time I checked I believe there are seven Chaos Emeralds on Black Star currently. Sol Emeralds too, and Fake Emeralds.” Loeki spoke up, raising a hand. “Team Synthis- we were fighting them when Ziphone showed up and interrupted our battle. They fled with the various Emeralds and we haven’t seen them since.” The team got to thinking. They needed to find those emeralds and fast.

  Luckily for them, Tails is always prepared. And with Knuckles on their side, they’ll track down the emeralds in no time. A handful of them left to look as a group while the remainder stayed at their base. Knuckles, Tails, Sonic, Shadow and Aura made way through the caverns that was the Underground, hopefully through the thick rock, Ziphone wouldn’t be able to detect them. However that was wishful thinking.

  The ground began to shake as tendrils began erupting from the ground. The group was split up. Sonic and Aura on one side of the tendrils, Tails and Knuckles on another, and Shadow all by himself. The rubble and dust settled along with a mirage of coughs and wheezes. Sonic waved through the smoke, glancing around. “Is- hough- Is everyone alright?” He called, earning a bunch of dazed ‘yeahs’ and ‘mhms’ from the crew. However they were quick to realize that they were split up. “Uh- guys?” Knuckles called out, punching at the rock hard braids that fused together to create walls between them. “We’re stuck! We can’t get out!” Knuckles hissed, punching harder and harder each time. Many hits and spindashes later and. Nothing. Aura groaned as she glanced around, scratching her head. “Alright, if I remember correctly, to your left there should be a gated off entry way towards Ethernere, Knuckles can punch it down easy. Our way leads back to Lumis City Sonic but we should be able to loop around and head through Cadence instead. Shadow however is going to be heading towards the Divine Temple and- Shadow?” Aura looked through the narrow cracks between the walls to see Shadow already heading off in the other direction. She sighed quietly. Well, this probably isn’t the first time he’s dealt with something like this, he’ll be fine. Probably.

  Shadow stayed quiet as he sped through the empty channels, trying to outrun the various tendrils that shot out of the ground in an attempt to grab him. Predictable. They were isolating him so they could take him out first while the other aimlessly wandered through the opposite entryways. He could feel it though, the Chaos Emeralds were close. However before he could confirm his suspicions, he was halted to a stop as a manifestation of Ziphone appeared in front of him.

“I wouldn’t go there if I were you.”

  He narrowed his eyes, clenching his fists together. “And why is that?” The being chuckled, crossing their arms and glancing over their shoulder. “You won’t find the Chaos Emeralds there. The fake ones, sure, but not the Emeralds you’re looking for. And anyways, even if you had a choice to head back and find the actual emeralds, you wouldn’t be able too. She won’t let you.” Shadow’s eyes widened a bit. “Who’s ‘she’?” The being began to cackle before dissipating into thin air. He clenched his teeth before speeding off once more. Who could it possibly be that he couldn’t just--

  Shadow stopped. Watching what was unfolding right in front of him. It… It was a girl, a girl who was fighting for her life. The darkened emeralds circled around her as she frantically delivered blast after blast, shot after shot against various fibrils that harassed her. She looked… Scared. Shadow hid in the dark, biding his time. He needed an opening to intervene against this display. Moments ticked before he rushed in, grabbing the girl by the waist and racing down the hallway. The Bandicoot yelped, glancing up at the dark Hedgehog. Before she could say anything, the ground began to shake, wires burrowing up from the ground and striking at them. Shadow could only run so fast before they started getting closer to him. He could feel the energy radiating off of this Bandicoot, she was distressed. In a last ditch effort Shadow shouted.

“Chaos Control!”

  There was white, a blinding white, the girl couldn’t see for a while before her vision faded back. Where… Were they? It was one of the data vaults but. Which one? She didn’t even remember she was being held before she felt arms let go of her side as she was set down. The other however seemed to collapse onto a knee, seemingly strained after such a disspell of power. The Bandicoot glanced around to make sure Ziphone’s attacks did not catch up to them before speaking up. “Are… You okay?” She was quiet not to jar the other, who nearly shook his head. “I’m… I’m fine. Who are you?”

  “I…” She took a deep breath, glancing off to the side. “My name is Zeo.” She was quiet. Shadow regained composure and slowly rose to his feet again. He’s never had a shock like that before… Was this ‘Chronal drain’ also affecting his use of Chaos Control? He’d have to keep an eye on that if so. However he had more important matters to attend too. “Where did you get those?” Zeo was quiet for a moment before looking at the Fake Emeralds. “Oh- I. I… Found… Them…” She wasn’t a good liar and Shadow clearly wasn’t buying it. The Bandicoot began to panic more, anxiety filling at her core. Her hands felt clammy as a million eyes trained on her. Don’t lose control of your powers, don’t lose control of your powers, don’t lose control-

  Shadow jumped back as a bolt of energy came for him, he furrowed his brow ridge, eyes glancing up to observe the young girl once more. That power… What… Is she? Zeo curled up into a ball and began to apologize profusely. “I-I’m so sorry! I can’t help it I-” Shadow stared at her for a moment before sighing, he walked over to her and hovered his hand over her shoulder hesitantly. They just met but… He saw something in himself, something that could relate to what she was going through right now. He left a gentle pat as he tried to find the words to say, he wasn’t exactly the best at comforting others, especially complete strangers. “It… Wasn’t your fault.” Words echoed in her head blurring between his and the kind scientist she had grown attached too. She seemed to physically relax as Shadow pulled his hand away and glanced at the closed door behind them. “Now, can you explain those Fake Emeralds in your possession real quick before those… things come back.” He was quite curt, but they had no time for self loathing. This world is ticking by to it’s last hour and he’d really like to stay relevant to his life.

 Zeo took a deep breath. “I was ordered by Xirca the Hellcat to use this Ephemeral Key and locate the Fake Emeralds, she told me they’d be able to handle the amount of energy I had inside of me.” Shadow blinked for a moment, glancing down at his Inhibitor Rings… What are the odds. Shadow then remembered something important he was told by Vespyr the first time he was pulled into this world.

“This world isn’t like the ones you’ve seen before. This… World was created by the collision of many worlds, ones forgotten and dead in the midst of a great expense of Chaos Energy that traveled across a thousand alternate universes to create this one that you stand in. As such, the people here will seem familiar yet completely different. We are not your reincarnations or an alternate version of you, but beings created by Black Star with the same role as you, of sorts. The Hero. The Sidekick. The Guardian. The Thief. The Powerhouse. The… Protector. You see, we are assigned roles that are out of our control that align with your universe. While we aren’t your alternate, we are your equal. You understand?”

  Shadow stayed quiet, mulling over the possibility that he and Zeo could be… Nevermind, there was no time for that, those allegations will be confronted when the time is right, right now they had bigger problems. The rumbling returned as well as the sound of distant rupturing of rubble. It seemed that this Ziphone has gotten tired of their evasion. “We need to leave” Shadow urged, heading towards the door. Zeo was quick to get on her feet and glanced towards the entrance. Shadow was already halfway out when he noticed a blink in his peripheral. “What?” Shadow was shocked, his head snapping to his front as he saw the Bandicoot waving him over. How did she- Nevermind, they had to get out of here.

  The Bandicoot panted as they approached a door that read ‘THE DIVINE TEMPLE ENTRYWAY’. This must be the stairwell up to the city. Shadow glanced over towards Zeo once more before taking the lead, opening the door and heading up the stairs. She followed suit as they were met with neon lights and pristine buildings. Zeo seemed to be in awe while Shadow remained focused on a new objective: Locate the rest of the crew and meet back at Lumis City. Who knows if Sonic and the rest of them managed to make it out alive. Though, Ziphone seemed quite persistent to take out both him and this Bandicoot. With a small huff, Shadow began to trek forward, Zeo following quietly. They won’t be able to get to Lumis City without being noticed, and with the only way blocked off, they’ll have to pass through the Borders to get back to it. They better rest while they have the chance before Ziphone attacks them again.

 Zeo was quiet for a while, staring down at her feet as she followed the taller Hedgehog. The silence was almost deafening to her, however not uncommon. It left her too her thoughts much to the dismay of herself. Eventually she let out a sigh, and glanced over to the other. “I… Uhm. I never caught your name.” He was silent for a moment, keeping his eyes trailed on the road. “Shadow.”. She was quiet for a moment, glancing left and right. “Shadow huh? Nice to meet you.”. Shadow huffed slightly. “Mmm.” Not the talkative type is he? “Do you know where we’re heading?”

  Shadow was quiet before finally glancing over at her. “To be quite frank, no. But I know where I need to be. However you don’t seem to be grasping the severity of this situation. Your world is about to be erased from existence and I along with many of my, hmm, friends, were sent to help you save it.” Shadow rarely called the rest of the Sonic gang his friends but in this sense, he might as well keep it straight and simple. Plus it’s not like he’ll ever see her again for it to bite him in the ass.

  “Another thing, why are you so curious about these Emeralds anyways?” She pointed towards the darkened jewels that orbited her body. “I need the Chaos Emeralds to help power myself to defeat said god from destroying your world.” It was like talking to a child- or Cream really. Zeo raised a brow. “But why would you do that?” Shadow stopped for a moment, perpexled at the notion for a moment. “What do you mean ‘why’?”

  Zeo leaned over a bit, her quills flopping to the side slightly. “Well… When I used these Emeralds, I lost control of my powers and nearly hurt everyone that was nice to me.” Shadow was quiet for a moment, a hint of concern in his features before he turned his attention back to the road and continued walking. “Perhaps for you, but for me I am able to channel the energy perfectly to use it to its full potential.” And that was the end of it. The two remained in silence for the remainder of the walk until the two stumbled upon the vacant Church of Divinity. “Lets rest here for now.” Shadow suggested, pushing the doors open quietly. The two plopped by the altar, finally able to get a good breath of air into their lungs. It was still so surreal to Shadow, however. The prospect that this… Bandicoot could be the equal of him in this universe. But to what extent? He barely knew anything about her and frankly… He didn’t want to. He knew what he was getting himself into helping Black Star, and while Sonic and a handful of others seemed to have found solidarity in their Black Star equivalents, the idea that there is someone here who experienced the same pain and conflict he has… He’d rather live in ignorance than have to face a mirror of his own trauma and face what has been done to him as well as what could of been done to her.

  He coped by shutting everyone out and trying to focus on whatever objective he was sent out to do. Her? She didn’t seem to have anything. She was filled with anxiety and was on the cusp of breaking at any moment. Her powers were left unchecked and she had a hard time keeping them in check. However he supposed that was the difference. While he had these Inhibitors to keep him from burning up. She… Had nothing. She relied on those Fake Emeralds for closure but they brought her nothing but hurt, it seemed. Shadow shook his head, he was thinking about it. He glanced over to the Bandicoot who seemed to have curled up with one of the emeralds, running her thumb over the sharp edges. Shadow closed his eyes, leaning his head against the wall and sighing. “What happened to you?” Shadow was quieter, hoping that maybe if she couldn’t hear him she wouldn’t answer. Zeo stopped for a moment and glanced over to Shadow. “...What do you mean?” Shadow tried to pick his words gently, glancing down for a moment. “Your powers- how did you get them?”

  Zeo was stunned for a moment, furrowing her brows and glancing back at the Emerald. “I… I don’t know. I was born in a laboratory in Ethernere and… They locked me in this tiny stark white room since I was young because I got sick very easily. The scientists would come in wearing these big full body suits and ask me to do lots of things. From moving objects to hitting targets with- with energy. They never bothered to teach me how to use it, just whether or not I could. It… Got to the point where all these tests, all these experiments. I… I couldn’t handle it anymore. I lost control of my powers. I… I burnt the place to the ground. It wasn’t my fault. I didn’t want to hurt anybody I swear! I couldn’t handle the pressure and-and I just- I…” Shadow noticed the quickly growing tension that Zeo was building up and placed another firm hand on her shoulder, pulling her out of this loop in her head. “I… Understand.” Was all Shadow managed to say.

  She didn’t ask him to elaborate, merely staring at him for a couple seconds before letting out a deep sigh and going back to fumbling with the emerald. Shadow’s hand slowly slipped from her shoulder and the two remained in silence for the rest of their time at the temple.

  Their time on the road was just as long as before, Zeo growing increasingly antsy and Shadow just wanting to get back to base to devise a plan with the Fake Emeralds in hand. However their walk wouldn’t be quite as peaceful as before when the appearance of Ziphone materialized in front of them.

  Shadow stopped, putting an arm in front of Zeo and gritting his teeth. He narrowed his eyes at the other. “What do you want now?” Shadow hissed. Ziphone chuckled, crossing their arms. “Oh, nothing much. Hand over the girl.”. Shadow’s eyes widened a bit as he quickly glanced between them and Zeo. “If you want her, you’re going to have to get through us first.” Shadow glared. Ziphone smirked. “So be it.”

 Shadow shot forward, landing to hit Ziphone. But they were too fast, teleporting behind him and kicking him to the ground. “You really are as simple as they come. Aren’t you? I’m a god! You can’t think to defeat me!” They laughed. Their eye turned slightly to see Zeo. Time slowed exponentially, Shadow barely moving but Zeo shot forward at a normal pace. However what she suspected was a slowed Ziphone was met by complete shock as Ziphone moved just as fast, if not faster, and also kicked Zeo down. Time returned back to normal and Ziphone laughed at the two. “Pitiful! No trick you can come up with can even come close to our power. We’re not even corporeal in the slightest! If you defeat us there won’t be any repercussions. Surrender yourself now or we’ll just pry those emeralds from your cold, dead hands.” Zeo glanced at Shadow who began to push himself up for another attack. Anxiety filled her chest as she stared at Ziphone who exuded ultimate power. “You really think you can’t be beaten? You’re more egotistical than I took you for.” Shadow sneered, clearly ready to put an end to this hologram. “And you’re more foolish than I thought. A glutton for punishment perhaps?”

  Zeo’s shaking hands curled into fists, a glare on her face as she hissed at Ziphone. The fake emeralds that rotated around her began spinning faster, dark Chaos energy surging through the girl. Shadow was caught off guard, backing up from Zeo. “Wait Zeo, you don’t have to do that-” Shadow tried to call out, but it was too late. The girls’ eyes glowed a stark white as her body became a dark dark indigo, white stripes lining across her body as tears began to well up in her eyes. It-- it burned. It burned her from the inside. The energy that coursed through her veins, it hurt. A scream tore through her throat, a knot growing in her chest as she dashed towards Ziphone, strands of Chaos energy emanating from her as she struck at Ziphone who held onto her fist, but noticeably struggled. Zeo’s growl grew louder. She- felt sick. But she had a chance against Ziphone. She unleashed a barrage of attacks. Chaos energy flying from the wits. However this is what Ziphone wanted. To drain Zeo while they had the chance. They kept blocking every punch and zap the girl unleashed, tears draining from her eyes as her voice grew hoarse and her body grown weak. Eventually the Chaos energy was drained from her and she dropped to the ground in front of Ziphone, shaking to keep herself up as she coughed profusely, Chaos energy still arcing from her body. She was becoming unstable, critically unstable. She screamed out in pain as the arcs grew larger and larger. Shadow stared in disbelief. He- he didn’t know what to do. There in front of him was a young Mobian about to be eaten alive by Chaos energy just. Just like him. Shadow’s eyes roamed down to the rings that adorned his wrists and ankles. His heart pumped in his chest. He had a chance, a chance to save her. To save himself. She may have not been him, but she was him in a sense. Ziphone’s patronizing gaze ceased for a moment, glancing at Shadow who unclipped the glowing cuffs from his wrists. “What are you-” Shadow smirked. “Your knowledge only extends only so far it seems.” He walked by Zeo, dropping the cuffs next to her. “Her power may not be able to stop your’s. Yet. But mines might have a sneaking chance.” He gritted his teeth as he unleashed a fatal punch at the projection, sending them flying into the dirt. They weren’t prepared for that one it seemed.

  Shaking his fist out slightly, Shadow’s attention immediately turned to the trembling girl behind him. Quickly he knelt down beside her, wincing as the Chaos energy within him also began to bubble out of control. But he still had half of his inhibitors, it’d only be a slight discomfort. “Give me your hands.” Zeo shook her head profusely. “I-I can’t! I’ll hurt you!” Shadow huffed and grabbed her hands, visibly cringing as the arcs of Chaos energy jumped from her arms to his. “I’m made from Chaos energy, you can’t possibly hurt me.” Grabbing the Inhibitor Rings, he clasped them around both of her wrists. Slowly he watched as the arcing began to decrease then cease all together. The physical strain apparent on her face as she heaved deeply, trying to catch her breath. “You’ll be okay, You’ll be okay.” Shadow’s voice was quiet, helping the girl onto her feet. Despite the two of them in discomfort, they tried to stand against Ziphone as they slowly rose from the dirt.

  The being began to chuckle darkly as they seemed to split, like two cells multiplying. Although this manifestation of Ziphone was purely a projection, they could willingly simulate their halved selves without repercussions to their power. The two were formed as a Raccoon and Thylacine, the latter stepping forward to touch Zeo’s muzzle. However Shadow stepped back, pushing Zeo behind him. “Do not be afraid my dear, we are of the same blood, after all.” Zeo’s exhausted eyes widened as she slowly stepped out from behind Shadow. “...What…?”

  Vernal laughed, tilting her head into her hand. “Do not be confused, I am not your parent. But you are made with my blood. But you don’t know that. Do you?” She grinned. Zeo furrowed her brows, glancing at her hands and the rings around her wrists. “You are a weapon, Zeo. Made to combat the Divinity’s own weapon. A roboticized Red Panda named Vice. You were to be a failed project if it weren’t for the fact my blood was made available. I gave you the powers you possess. And you gave me the power to fuse with Chroma to become Ziphone. We are one and the same, Zeo. Rejections of this universe made to destroy it.” Zeo stepped back, shaking her head. “I- I’m nothing like you.” She hissed. Vernal only snickered. “But you were made to be a weapon. Will you give into your nature, girl? Destroy me. You have the power too. You only seek to inhibit your own ambition with those crystals and those rings.” Vernal smirked as Zeo became conflicted. Shadow again stepped in front of Zeo, intervening between her and Vernal. “She’s-- She’s just a kid!” Shadow glared. He may have had the capacity to make this decision himself but-- Zeo was so young. She shouldn’t have to question her own morality like this- not like he did. Vernal growled. This hedgehog was getting on her nerves. She had enough of him, raising her fist she decided she had quite enough of his meddling but. It… Wouldn’t move. She glanced at her hand as a dark aura surrounded it. Zeo hissed, causing Shadow to look back at her. Using her Ergokinesis, she threw Vernal back as far as she could. Causing her to fall out of range of Chroma and thus making the illusion dissipate. Zeo physically sweat, nearly hyperventilating at the strain she was put under, trying to control her powers even at half the capacity. Shadow relaxed slightly, sighing and patting her on the shoulder. “You did good, Zeo.” Zeo glanced up a bit, smiling at Shadow as the two began to make their way back to Lumis City.

By the time Shadow returned, Sonic and rest had made it back to the base unscathed. They were all discussing Shadow’s whereabouts when the Hedgehog in questioned walked in through the the doors, causing everyone to fall silent. “There you are! We were starting to get worried.” Sonic teased, before noticing the lack of gold that adorned his wrists. “Shadow-- where are your inhibitor rings?!” Rouge piped up, pushing past everyone. If anyone knew how important those rings are to Shadow’s wellbeing, it’d be Rouge. Shadow, although exhausted, waved off Rouge’s concerned. He sighed as he looked at the others. “There was someone who needed them more than me.” Their eyes all widened at the prospect. “Who?” Aura asked, glancing around. Shadow stepped away from the door as the smaller Bandicoot glanced around, waving her hand. Although the rings suppressed her power by fifty percent, dark energy still continued to arc from her fingers. “This is Zeo, she’s the holder of the Fake Emeralds.” Shadow introduced. Zeo waved shyly, nervous about how well received she would be. The others were quiet for a moment but soon smiled, welcoming her into the base. Shadow leaned against the wall, wincing when he thought nobody was looking. He felt a hand on his arm, looking over to see Rouge. “So you found them, huh?” She asked, alluding to the fact that they had alternative equals on this planet. Shadow didn’t say anything, but nearly looked back at Zeo and the smile on her face as she ran up to two particular Mobians, a Skunk and a Shrew. Rouge smirked slightly, looking at them. “You did a good thing today, Shadow.” He finally sighed, glancing down at the ground. “I suppose I did.”

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Kado 7 (includes notes on Kado 6.5 + Tsukigakirei 6.5) | Boku no Hero Academia 21 | Grimoire of Zero 7 | Royal Tutor 8 | Tsukigakirei 7

Kado 7 (includes notes on Kado 6.5 + Tsukigakirei 6.5)

Some notes on the recap: It’s interesting they styled the title card to be like a silent movie, but the embellishments in the top corners are high-tech. Tsukigakirei’s recap was a slog because it awkwardly cut, but because of all the indications of time and the fact there’s already a narrator, this show fits a recap style much better (but the titlecards and changing of the eyecatch make this ep feel fresh, which is great!). Also, it seems I was wrong about how it had been three days since Kado’s appearance (see ep 5’s commentary), because the counter hits 5 days when the first passengers are released.

Wait…that “brain” was a device???

“Hi Setten”, LOL. Also, I found out “kado” (with this combo of kanji -> 過度) can mean “excess” or “immoderation”, and “setten” means “settings” or “options”...I first remember seeing the word in the Boueibu game, where “setten” of course would refer to things like “volume on/off” and that.

Apparently, the Google CEO’s name is Sundar Pichai…I thought it was Larry Page and Sergey Brin as co-CEOs, but I guess I was wrong…Also notice Ward’s iPad says “ihou sonzai” (anisotropic being).

Oh flap. Adam’s pulling a Great Fitz here…

I’ve seen the “I can’t dry my laundry!” screenshot before, but seeing it in context is funny all over again. In fact, it makes it even funnier.

I was worried about how the show might get a little too philosophical after ep 6’s end, but it’s good to see Hanamori retains his sleeping capabilities. *stifles laughter* They even rendered Hanamori’s bedhead.

“Kado comes here, and instead of running, they find a way to market it.” – It’s an interesting, yet extremely obvious point that we tend to ignore because we’re so used to it. That’s why tourism – even fake tourism - sells. Why do I bring this up? Because I want to, for one, and because I hope to exploit this angle for Half-Paid Heroes. (I wanna know how to make Kado cake, too…)

CR subbers, I thought Gonno’s first name was “Takumi”?...

That’s cute, it’s a helicopter landing spot, complete with “H” marking.

If I didn’t know any better, I might’ve called Shindo zaShunina’s sidekick. (LOL)

This “stacks of books” scene is something like what I imagined when I wrote White Parasite’s La Luna’s hideout in the mountains…that’s one of the reasons I’ve been able to give Kado and zaShunina an unyielding love. Also, I thought the promo 2D Shunina looked creepy, so this 2D shot of Shunina stole my heart!!!

The cube seats remind me of those child corners in libraries and that, where you have mini stools for playing pretend. Oh. Speaking of which, it reminds me of this Rubik’s cube.

Okay. I thought Kado would be a show devoid of such things, but let’s play the game of “What drugs were the producers on today?”

Okkkkkkkkkay. (stifles laughter) Did you realise the Shunina heads made a heart, with the “real” (existing in the normal dimensions) Shunina in the middle? Hahaha…

Wait. That screaming thing in episode…2, I think it was? The bit where Shindo grabs his head in agony?...was Shunina giving him (Shindo) the sense of the anisotropic? Ahhhhhhhhh. That makes sense now!

“They were good humans.” – Just in case you didn’t forget Shunina is an extradimensional bishie being. I guess it’s kind of along the lines of Kai’s (Royal Tutor’s) “You’re all good boys!”, which is true both there and here. In most cases (except maybe Shunina and Ward), the boys of Kado are good boys.

A bookmark. For an avid reader like Shunina (or myself…haha), it’s a perfect gift. Just make sure they’re not so heavy they fall out of books, because then they’re useless.

They put the festival scene in 2D! (It would be a cost cutting measure for sure, but…you know what I said about 2D Shunina previously? Yeah, that.) Also, it just goes to show you even a high concept sci-fi show like this goes for the jugular in depicting fanservice for the “people who like hot guys” and “people who like tsunderes”. However, did Shunina change his own clothes? Did Shindo or someone else get the yukata for him? Does Shunina even have the concept of “changing clothes”???

Fake Nintendo Switch. I’ve also seen this screenshot making the Tumblr rounds before.

LOL, giant turtle. I like turtles.

Haha, negotiating even at a festival. I LOLled too hard at the line, “What is buttered potato?” (but I also like buttered potatoes…I like a lot of things).

“Saraka-san, zaShunina, you, and the turtle will be in group B.” This typo’s the same case as the Gonno one earlier this ep.

“Are there any negative effects?”

How do you lose an anisotropic being at a festival? I actually hope he isn’t being rabidly devoured by a bunch of girls who think he’s hot.

Just seeing the credits reminded me that Shinawa was absent this ep (which was good). Also, has Natsume appeared in every ep’s credits so far? I don’t remember because I normally don’t watch credits.

Boku no Hero Academia 21

“Sparking Killing Boy”, LOL.

The more I watch Mei, the more I feel like I’m watching The Truman Show (where there’s one woman who advertises things near the beginning of the movie).

The belt transformation refers to sentai heroes.

Hmm…I agree with Deku on Aoyama’s strategy, since his laser is best used from afar.

That was an unexpected (for me) win for Tokoyami. I knew his Quirk was good all around, but I thought Yaoyorozu would win for sure. It’s just the difference in confidence, eh?

“…focussing on the shield Yaoyorozu made.”

I kinda get what Uraraka’s saying. After all, she might end up dragging Deku down one day by relying on him too much.

Grimoire of Zero 7

It annoys me how tavern girl looks so similar to Zero.

Why do fantasy travellers (or Brock in Pokémon, for that matter) never have big packs? You’d think they do…

The colour of the night sky in this episode is pretty.

This wolf’s like Sonic (One Punch Man). Such a sore loser.

Hey wait, did Thirteen see her…uh, assets? Did he dress her wounds?! Eep! I do not ship this. *shakes head*

Royal Tutor 8

Ouch, Licht, you got burnt! On the other hand, I agree with Bruno that he should sleep forever, noting past comments I’ve heard him (Licht) say.

Ah, the zoo. What nostalgia that brings. I’ve been to the closest zoo at least twice…thrice…four times…? I don’t remember anymore, but the zoo is always a fun place.

It’s smiling, ReLIFE style!

Braunbar (with umlaut over the second a) is German for…wait for it…brown bear.

Bunnies can bite you when you least expect it. From my experience, they don’t draw blood though. (How do I know this? There’s one outside my window as I speak. He’s probably someone’s stray, although no one’s come for him so my family have had to take care of him.)

Shut up, Licht! That’s not comedy, that’s just killing time!

I still wonder…how does Kai actually wear that jacket? It must be troublesome to put on if he’s always wearing it like that.

Ahhhh! Dangit, Kai’s too good for words. The only thing that can quell my “fan of bishies” heart is fangirl screaming.

Those “tricks” of yours didn’t work, Licht. Get out. Besides, Bruno, I barely remembered that brick joke.

My heart sank a little when I saw they weren’t using the cheesy live-action version of the ED. Still the next episode looks like it will address some plot-critical things, and I’m worried for Kai because he’s the sort who can’t get over his problems easily. (As a sidenote, a similar tabloid article shtick was used in SGRS, so I welcome this plotline.)

Tsukigakirei 7

Vita Sexualis is a Mori Ougai work, so I’m kinda on edge about it…knowing Bungou’s Ougai, that is.

Why does this ep’s title sound like it should be a Boueibu one instead???

These (mostly still) shots of theme parks just make it seem like the staff are scrounging for money.

According to the omake at the end of one ep, you’re meant to ship Roman with the teacher (as ick as that is), so I can understand why Roman’s on his lonesome.

Stop egging her on, Hira! She’ll get nervous! (I say that because I don’t like roller coasters much.)

I feel like the word “viva” is being overdone, attendant person. Google-sensei says the word means “live (verb)”, so it doesn’t make sense at all.

Hira’s freckles really don’t seem to be a mistake. Also my brain can’t make sense of “sorabune” – the word for ship/boat is “fune”, but it doesn’t become “bune” when attached to another word...not that I know of, anyway.

Yamashina? We’ve never been told Roman’s surname before…

Potori Water, LOL. Parody on Pocari Sweat if you didn’t know that.

It’s nice that they didn’t do the full-on “can on face at aumsement park” thing I’ve come to expect from romances, because Detective Conan kinda solidified that as the norm for me.

The Big O in this case isn’t an anime, it’s a Ferris wheel.

Josei Next Door did a CR article where she suggested people needed to talk to each other more, and while it was on The Royal Tutor, sometimes I wish Akane and Kotarou would talk to each other properly too…welp, I spoke too soon (sort of).Why “sort of”? Because Kotarou is speaking to Hira, but he ain’t speaking to Akane.

I feel a twinge of guilt in that I wanted Chinatsu’s and Hira’s dreams to be shattered to make way for the canon couple, and Chinatsu’s tears exacerbate that feeling. I guess this is what it’s like to be a shipper, eh – to ignore the feelings of couples in order to get your own way, knowing your dreams may not even become reality? (But can’t these kids all be happy??? It could easily be a “pair the spares” situation, now that I think of it.)

The takoyaki’s nice, but that background with the screaming girl is creepy…It appears to be a parody on Beavertails, for some odd reason. Why is there a Canadian product being used as product placement in an anime (and why a product I’ve only ever heard of from a Canadian TV show, to boot)???...*record scratch* Okay, I’m weirded out, and I admit defeat. Beavertails exist in Japan.

Couple selfies. That just goes to show how much trends can permeate culture…hey, does that mean people may one day use memes in anime? (Even though anime creates memes?) It’s meme-ception!

It seems live action footage was used for this show, if you look closely, and it’s not just the OP I’m talking about…

Finally, a part of Tsukigakirei I can get behind! These night scenes are so real! If it weren’t for Kotarou and Akane, I’d think these scenes to be photos and not animation at all.

I get this feeling that we’ll end with either their graduation or them as adults, with Kotarou telling their kids “…and this is how I met your mother.” Which would be awkward as all get out, but okay. (I haven’t seen How I Met Your Mother by the way, although it sounds like a scenario that would happen in it…)

Aw, dangit. They got their kiss interrupted. At least it wasn’t by Chinatsu, that would’ve caused more tears on her end.

Mireta (used in “Did you see the fireworks?”) seems to be an odd formation of mieta, but in slang, people break the grammar rules all the time, so I’d suspect people break the spelling rules too.

I was surprised to find out this ep’s ED LINE chat is a wife to a husband. That confirms my How I Met Your Mother thoughts, somewhat. (The husband had overtime and got the wife juice. It seems they were going to an event, because the wife says to check the invitation guest list...and so on, so forth.)

Oh? There are more omakes? I’ll watch ‘em someday when I’m bored…I guess.