#blonde gale scares the shit out of me tho

[mushlooms]

my fav glitches on bg3 is Void gale and ken gale. he is the spectrum of girlhood

[crustyweirdo]

smash or pass but it‘s pretty much the entire BrBa cast and i‘m adding my weird headcanons (queer edition)

please don’t take this too seriously, these are my preferences and most of the headcanons are obviously jokes. 18+ please!!

Walter White: hell nooo he worked with n*zis and wears those tighty whities. definitely needs pills to get it up

Saul Goodman: smash, i feel like he‘d call me mommy. minus points bc he‘d make dad jokes during it.

Jesse Pinkman: 1000% SMASH HES SO FINE!! would smoke in bed with me after. i feel like he has piercings down there too, don’t ask why. definitely whimpers

Skyler White: had to think abt it a little but i‘d smash, misunderstood queen. lots of aftercare too

Hank Schrader: hard pass. he‘s a cop and has the personality of a paper bag.

Gus Fring: sure! more of a hookup though because i can’t imagine him being kind and gentle. he‘d say no cuz he‘s gay fr

Mike Ehrmantraut: probably not what you guys wanna hear, but smash. call it a guilty pleasure, ik that guy has experience. would focus on my needs first. i‘d do it in his car

Jane Margolis: yes omg are you kidding?! her style is everything and she’s genuinely so hot, i‘d gay panic being in the same room as her. definitely uses toys

Walter Jr: pass, too young for me and i don’t find him that attractive

Marie Schrader: smash! she‘s genuinely so sweet and pretty, perfect balance. hank didn’t deserve her

Todd, Jack and co: hardest pass, i don’t think i have to explain why. would go on about how women don’t deserve rights when they’re on top of me

Tuco Salamanca: no, he scares me. probably into knife play or some weird shit

Skinny Pete: yes! he‘s an acquired taste guys

Badger: probably? this is a hard one, smash if i got paid like 50 bucks. for free if it‘s with pete. but i‘d definitely go on a date with him

Steven Gomez: pass bc he‘s a cop. if i had to choose between him or hank i‘d choose him any day tho

Hector Salamanca: pass, no disrespect. rip Mark

Lydia Rodarte-Quayle: i‘m anxious 24/7 so her nervous attitude would make it impossible for me to enjoy it. she‘d accidentally insult me during it in some way

Gale Boetticher: smash because i love his personality. he‘s a keeper, husband material. lasts 2 minutes :(

Combo Ortega: pass i like him but not like that fr

Ted Beneke: hard pass. wouldn’t shut up abt his stupid company for five minutes. he makes really weird sounds during it and asks if you came right after (u didn’t)

Eyebrow Guy: i like hair but not like that

Andrea Cantillo: yesss baby bring it on. easily one of the pretties characters. sadly her personality wasn’t shaped out well in the show

Gretchen Schwartz: i feel like she‘s too smart for me don’t ask why. would absolutely reject me

Elliot Schwartz: maybe if he wears a hat to hide those big ass ears. i‘d do it if he paid me tho

Wendy (blonde meth head): seems very sweet and i love her style but i‘m a fan of hygiene and her teeth are not it

Carmen Molina (principal): yeah i guess, she‘s pretty

Huell & Kuby: pass bc they‘re silly little guys. only come package deal

Donald Margolis: sad guy but seems very sweet. smash? he cries when he finishes

Salamanca Twins: probably never had sex ed, lots of uncomfortable stares… pass

Krazy-8: i don’t remember much of him but going off looks, smash

Jesses Therapy Group Leader: pass, he has those crazy killer eyes

hope you enjoyed! :D