#bleh. sucks they had to call it though. like why is it so hard to say “ok we won’t feed you to the ai machine if you don’t want to be”

[labwebs]

🕸️didn’t even take a full half hour for the “don’t you dare express sadness at something you’ve been looking forward to possibly getting delayed because of a strike” conversation to happen this time. lovely. 🙃

[bahamutgames]

The AFTERTHOUGHTS Movie

Movie: The Super Mario Bros. Movie (April 5th, 2023)

Console: Fuckin' uuuuuuuh.... DVD player....

I wanted to do this when the movie launched but thought to myself "oh I could write my thoughts up in a twitter thread who cares what I think about mario bleh bleh bleh" so I didn't bother. But like 5 months have passed since I first saw the movie. I've watched it about 4-5 times now and I STILL haven't written up my thoughts. So no, clearly I CANNOT write my feelings up in a twitter thread. And YEAH, no one cares what I think about Mario I'm very aware of that. But FUCK YOU I'm gonna tell you why I think this movie is actually amazing!

I've been seeing some people talk about it lately but most comments I see about it nowadays are a little negative. And a lot of the sentiment around this movie before launch was negative. I was in this boat too prior to the first trailer coming out. But I gotta be honest, no, like. I really really REALLY like this movie. And I just gotta gush about it a little bit.

EVEN FOR A MOVIE (which I'll probably never do this again until maybe Sonic 3 comes out lol) THIS IS NOT A REVIEW! This is just me throwing up my thoughts on the movie now that I've watched it like 200000 times.

MARIO MOVIE SPOILERS AHEAD!! IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT YET WATCH IT I SWEAR TO GOD WATCH IT IT'S GOOD!!!

Opening

So, some of you may know, some of you may not. I used to be a big Mario fan. I've mentioned it in the past on twitter and such but this series used to be my LIFE. I'm not kidding. I was obsessed with it for YEARS, since I was child. I loved studying it and brainstorming headcannon and thinking about it and learning about it and just talking about lore stuff with people from the series. And I'll be honest, while lately I'm kinda still into it here and there, I haven't been super into it that intensely in a long while. For a lot of reasons. So I was very hesitant on the Mario movie. I wasn't sure if I was gonna like it. But I went in DAY 1 to see this movie. I had faith, I had to see how it would go.

And when I left that theater I was BLOWN AWAY. I LOVED IT!! I went and I saw it again about a week later. And I STILL LOVED IT! I bought it on DVD and rewatched it 2-3 more times with the rest of my family and I STILL LOVED IT EVERY TIME! It's not perfect by any means but in this chaotic write up I hope I can explain why it hit me so hard as a returning Mario fan. To get it out of the way, I'm gonna open up with my problems with it and then go into the praise.

Stuff I didn't like

So again, I do have some complaints so I'd like to start there just to get them out of the way. First up, I still have a problem with some voice actors. For the most part, they're all pretty good. I think Chris Pratt is better than the trailers would have you believe (which I fucking called I knew they were picking his worst lines for the trailer) and I was pleasantly surprised with how good Seth Rogan was for DK. Bowser, Toad, Luigi, they were all great! But dude Cranky's voice SUCKS so bad. I hate it. And I liked Peach but I wasn't in love with the voice? But not as bad as Cranky lmao.

And the pacing IS weird. This is a big issue I've seen a lot of people complain about and it's totally fair. It's not well paced. I think it's better on rewatches, but it's not perfect by any means. Like they jump back and forth between Mushroom Kingdom and Dark Land so much but at the same time Luigi just kind of isn't in it enough? It's very weird. And I feel like it progresses a little oddly between the different areas. But ultimately again, it's fine it's not as bad as people say even though it is weird.

And of course, the issue of removed music. I think that pretty much all the copywritten songs used in the movie were the wrong choice when the remixes that were absolutely superior were available. 'I Need A Hero' works for sure, I didn't mind that. But 'Take On Me' is SO out of place especially when they had a fantastic DKC remix to use for that! THANK GOD they actually used the Starman theme cause it would've ruined what was otherwise one of my favorite Mario scenes ever (we'll get to it).

Also, like, Toad is just toadally dropped by the end of the movie. He barely speaks towards the end and it's a shame cause I LOVED Toad in this movie! He absolutely deserved more attention in the second act of the movie. Thankfully he still shows up even though he barely gets to participate (did he even fight in the final battle? I hope he did)

And I have some other nitpicks. No Toadsworth L. Not enough powerups get used. Again, not enough Luigi.... Why is Lumalee in it? I assume it's to build up to something in the sequel. But still. Odd. BUT other than that? Man I just gotta sing the praises. There's so much positive to talk about.

Stuff I liked

OKAY! There's a lot I gotta compliment with this movie. For some basic stuff. It looks LOVELY! I love everyone's design! Mario and Luigi are so cute, Toad easily could've been creepy but they make them work fantastically, DK looks cute, BOWSER IS AMAZING! Peach looks a little odd but I still think she's very beautiful to me! And the environments are super stunning. The Mushroom Kingdom looks great, Dark Land looks fantastic, Rainbow Road looked SO GORGEOUS! And the music is AMAZING! So many cues from so many different games and themes. The basic Mario themes, Bowser's various themes, Galaxy stuff, there's even a cut SMRPG song apparently!? The music is amazing and relistening to it now it's blowing me out of the water all over again!

I know it's gonna sound like I'm overhyping it or exaggerating. But this movie is SUPER good with how it handles the source material. It's pretty much exactly what I would want out of a Mario movie at least in terms of how the world is presented. The shots of Mario overlooking the Mushroom Kingdom on the big shroom is AMAZING. All the hills and mushrooms and floating blocks. I adore the way it takes game mechanics like power ups and floating blocks and puts them into a non-game setting in a way that works SO well. In a way I've always envisioned the world to work myself. I LOVE seeing blocks as naturally occurring things in the Mario world. I love when Mario first appears in the world and you see Biddybuds walking around, you see Cheepcheep swimming, you see even a fucking Bramball walking exactly how it does in the games but like, it's not in a game! It's alive! They took how these creatures act and put them in a living world exactly how they would be! It's amazing! They even managed to take traditional Mario levels like the Cheepcheep bridges and turn them into a real area you could visibly see yourself walking in! It's not just in a video game it looks and breathes like it's real! Does this make any sense? I'm blown away by how they put game stuff into it but it doesn't feel like game stuff, it feels how this game stuff would feel irl. I love how they explain the powerups, I didn't think they'd even touch the Super Mushroom! But the idea it makes it you taller and gives you super human jumping is GENIUS! That's perfect! I hadn't even seriously considered how the growing and shrinking works, but this movie does it perfectly!

I think the best example I can give about this is the scene where they are camping in a field of fire flowers. This scene is genuinely amazing to me. This is a setting I've always DREAMED of seeing in a Mario game. But it's just not exactly something you'd ever get to see in a Mario game, but this movie does it. I LOVE seeing the power ups being naturally occurring in nature. Naturally occurring Fire Flowers are something I LOVE thinking about in my own head canon. They look so gorgeous in this movie and the whole scene looks so amazing. I love seeing Peach grab one and the slow transformation sequence and how they turn that into a practical thing and how Peach uses the Fire Flower not as a video game weapon or item, but just as a simple tool to start a campfire. I don't know if I'm describing it well enough but this is stuff I've always DREAMED about the Mario universe working like if you lived there. But somehow this movie just GETS IT. Naturally occurring floating blocks, powerups growing in nature, enemies existing in nature as animals! It's perfect!

And even the crossover between the "real" and "mushroom" worlds are done SO well! I am a pretty staunch "Mario was BORN in the Mushroom World and there is no Real World" kinda guy but this movie brings it back PERFECTLY. I love seeing Mario and Luigi as kind of losers? It's not an angle you ever really see with them, not that I need to have a sad NSMB game where Mario and Luigi are losers, of course lmao. But still it's neat! And seeing them living a normal life is cool! It's something we've gotten from previous Mario projects but never really with the games or something that follows the games so faithfully. But I adored seeing this side of their lives in a way that usually I'm not super die hard into as "canon"? If that makes sense? But I LOVED seeing the Mario family. I audibly GASPED when they showed up!! LIKE WHAT!? OFFICIAL MARIO MOM AND DAD FACE REVEAL!?!? I NEVER WOULD'VE SAW THIS COMING AND I DON'T THINK PEOPLE APPRECIATE HOW INSANE IT IS TO SEE MARIO RELATIVES IN 2023!!! THAT'S NUTS I NEVER THOUGHT THAT WAS GONNA HAPPEN BUT AGAIN THIS MOVIE DOES THE IMPOSSIBLE! And this movie made me really appreciate the whole "real world vs mushroom world" concept in a way I never have before. While I still prefer the idea Mario was born in the Mushroom world I think there's a really good "You Could Wear the Mask" element that comes from him being from the real world. Which is cool! It makes Mario an everyman the same way Spiderman is. Which I like!

And even the characters themselves I think they're all handled super well. Mario being super brave and standing up for himself, but still folding when he's approached by his father. It's interesting, again, something that could never be tackled with a version of Mario in the past. I love how kind Luigi was and how he's cowardly but still has moments of strength. And he's his own person not a Mario clone. And I love how much brotherly love the two genuinely show for each other. It's something you only really get to see in the RPGs and Luigi's Mansion honestly. I love that Princess Peach was still cute and high femme but totally kicked ass and at no point in the movie did they go like "BWAH!? A GIRL DOING BOY THINGS??? HUH?" NO! They just let Peach be a bad ass! I loved it! I loved DK being a showboating super jock type guy who also wants to impress his dad. It's probably not something I ever would've thought to do for DK but it's SO good and it makes such an interesting parallel between Mario and him. I LOVED Mario and DK's rivalry. I wasn't expecting DK to become a main teammate so that was WONDERFUL to see. When they work together in the eel and when they get to the Mushroom Kingdom and when they still bicker and argue I love it it's so cute it's such a good way to interpret this dynamic! And Bowser is done SO well I love how utterly psychotic he is. The way they handle how much he hates Mario without EVER MEETING HIM is so perfectly done! And I love that they don't pull any punches. He's ruthless and cruel like how Bowser is. And they don't waste any time trying to redeem him or make him seem like "oh well he's just a big softie :(" NO, HE'S A MANIPULATIVE FREAK! I'm so glad they actually beat the shit out of him! They make him scary and big and imposing and they take him down! It's SO wonderfully done!

But without a doubt, my favorite part of the movie is the finale. It's straight up amazing. It gives me chills just thinking about it. The whole finale where they end up back in the real world might be one of my favorite Super Mario scenes across the entire franchise. Where Bowser beats the shit out of Mario and sends him running away scared into a pizza parlor. It's scary it's not something you usually see. And when Mario is cowering while Bowser calls him a loser, it's interesting, again you don't usually see this lack of confidence in Mario. He's genuinely bruised and banged up. Like, he has physical damage on him. Not just "OH I'M SHORT NOW!" Damage, but REAL painful injuries you can physically see. Again, this isn't something I'd probably want in a Mario game but for a movie it's daring, it's crazy they were allowed to do it. It's unique. This type of edgy stuff is something I LONG to see in the Mario series in some way and it finally happened. And the whole part where the ad they made at the start plays glitched out and gives Mario the newfound confidence he needs. It's beautiful again it gives me chills. And he gets back up and fights it's so cool. THIS IS THE MARIO I LOVE, AND IT'S JUST SO INTERESTING TO SEE THAT PERSONALITY CHALLENGED! It's a similar reason I love the Sonic movies so far, he's different he's more childish he's not always 100% on his game like in the games. It's cool to see them do these things with these characters. But then, the best part. Is when Luigi takes a stand and saves Mario from Bowser's breath. "As long as we're together, everything will be okay" it's beautiful. I'm actually getting a little emotional writing it up. It's perfect. Mario and Luigi are a TEAM. They are a DUO, I WANT TO SEE THEM WORK TOGETHER TO FIGHT! AND THEY DO! I LOVE WHEN BOWSER TRIES TO KICK THEM AND THEY STAND TALL WHILE THE ROAD BREAKS BEHIND THEM!! SEEING THEM KICK THE SHIT OUT OF THE WHOLE KOOPA TROOP WITH THE STARMAN THEME PLAYING IS GENUINELY BREATHTAKING I LOVE THIS WHOLE FUCKING FINALE! AND SEEING THEM SWING BOWSER AROUND AND THEN STOMP HIM THROUGH THE FLAMES IS SO COOL! IT'S AN AMAZING FINALE THAT'S DONE SO RIGHT WITH SO MANY LITTLE CHARACTER BEATS BETWEEN MARIO AND LUIGI AND EVEN BOWSER JUST SO PERFECTLY I'M UTTERLY BLOWN AWAY BY HOW GOOD THIS FINALE IS!

I just fucking love this movie man. Sure it is a lot of references, it's not perfect, but it's a genuinely good Mario movie. And more than that, I'd go as far as to say it is a genuinely good movie straight up. I don't watch a lot of them, but I've seen enough to say I love this movie as a movie.

Responding to Criticisms

I've seen some criticisms of the movie I'd like to address. Some of these are from friends, so if you see something you said here PLEASE do not take it as an insult! No hard feelings what so ever I just wanna give my two cents! Please understand it is COMPLETELY fine to have not liked this movie, but in the same vein it's totally okay for me to give my peace on what I think about other people's toughts.

For one, a big one, "it's just an hour of Mario references." Yeah? I mean kinda. But a lot of those references are just... World building or the Mario world as it is? Like... Were you mad when the Chaos Emeralds showed up in Sonic 2? That's a reference, but it's a part of the world. In my opinion I think most of the big references are in the background anyway, so it's okay if they're laid on a little thick. Plus, again, a lot of the references are just to how the Mario world would work. Plus there's a TON of original stuff and original interpretation on these concepts.

"Ah it's just a kids movie there's nothing interesting in it" Again I could not agree less. Sure it is a kids movie. But there's still some good themes in it, some fantastic concepts and interpretations on the characters. Some kinda edgy stuff in it. iirc they actually say stuff like "Hell Hound" and Kill and stuff you wouldn't expect from a Mario thing. And again, you see Mario bruised up! THAT'S CRAZY!! DOES NO ONE ELSE THINK THAT'S NUTS!?

"It's probably canon so it's not doing anything interesting" I'm sorry, no. For a fanbase that's so intense on Mario lore and going insane any time Mario isn't some sort of bible lore heavy series. I think people are seriously overlooking fascinating elements and mysteries present in this movie. Such as how do the real world and the mushroom world relate? How are they combined after the first movie? Where does Peach come from? Where did the star come from? What's gonna happen with Bowser going forward? This movie, while following the Mario world closer than say, the Sonic movies. It is absolutely doing its own thing. And I'm sure more and more unique things will come from future sequels. It's an interesting movie in of itself.

"Princess Peach is so bad in it" I don't agree! I don't think she's perfect but again she's a total bad ass while still wearing cute dresses and being high femme like I said. And like I said, they never are like "WOW GIRLS CAN'T DO BOY STUFF HOW SHE DO THAT!?" They just let it happen, they just let Peach be cool. But also it's neat to see her doing princess stuff and they still show her having weakness, I LOVE when Bowser manipulates her by torturing toad (that's such a fucked sentence) because it shows she really cares and she has to make hard choices but she still fights through them! And again, it's not like she's the only competent character. She lived in that world I would hope she's better at it than Mario lmao. But the other characters absolutely hold their own and are just as strong as she is! She's works perfectly.

"Bowser doesn't even know Mario why does he hate him?" That's the idea! I can't find the post now but someone explained it SO well! The whole concept is that he has this idea of Mario built up in his head. Bowser is totally delusional. Peach not loving him has NOTHING to do with Mario and everything to do with Bowser being a psycho! And again in my opinion that is such a good interpretation of the character and even Mario and Bowser's relationship!

"It's not as good as the live action Mario Movie" This is a matter of opinion of course but I gotta be honest. This movie is way better. And I want to make it clear: I LOVE the live action Mario Movie. I liked it before you did. I'm gonna be up my own ass about this one cause I know it's true cause for YEARS y'all were saying it sucked until suddenly it became popular to like it out of nowhere. I ran a President Koopa RP tumblr for a while and had seen the movie multiple times before it became the cool thing everyone liked. And while I still love that movie, I just gotta say as a Mario fan I appreciate how this one handles Mario and Luigi's relationships more and I appreciate the more close to canon look at the world. Live Action Mario is certainly more unique, but doesn't fill me with the same sense of child like wonder that makes me feel like the Mario franchise still has magic worth holding onto even nowadays.

But again, this is all a matter of opinion. You are ABSOLUTELY allowed to not like this movie. That's fine. But similarly, I should be allowed to absolutely gush about how amazing the movie was to me and how much it means to me as a Mario fan who had their whole life changed by this series.

Final Thoughts

Man.

That was a lot. I can't contain myself sometimes. But I'm glad I finally got to at least in some way gush about this movie. Cause I really did love it and writing my thoughts on it really makes me wanna watch it again. So I probably will this weekend as a birthday gift to myself.

I find it a little difficult to be so plainly honest about Mario things I love. For multiple reasons. I think this fanbase is a little poisoned. And I feel like being genuine and enjoying what you like about the series can be kind of met fairly negatively a lot of the times. And again with how teetering-tottering I am with my love of the series lately it can only make it more difficult. So I hope I don't come off as annoying about this movie. But Mario whether I like it or not means a lot to me and I have a lot to say about this movie.

I had a friend tell me I couldn't possibly give a non-biased take on the movie. And maybe that's fair. But honestly I don't think it's entirely fair to write off why I love the movie because of that. I genuinely love this movie, not only as a Mario fan but just as a casual movie watcher. I thought it was good. And yeah maybe I wouldn't like it as much if I wasn't so insane about the series for so long. But I do genuinely hope you can understand after seeing all this why it means so much to me and why I think people are being a little unfair to it. I genuinely think it's being nitpicked too hard. It's a truly incredible Mario experience that I loved.

From the way game mechanics are translated to a living world, to the way characters are reinterpreted, to yeah, even just the little references. I flipped when a small part of the Luigi's Mansion theme played, so what? I like Mario, man. So what!?

So yeah. I'm sure I could say more but I'm getting a little embarrassed. So I think I'll wrap it up now.

===

Thanks for reading, if you somehow actually made it through that whole ramble. You are an absolute hero. I waiting a long time to talk about this (still not as long as I took to talk about Sonic 2 though lmao) but I hope in any small way I could convey why this movie really hit home for me in a way I honestly didn't think it could.

I'm genuinely interested to see where the Mario movies go from here and I'll gladly watch them all. I'll be there day 1 to watch the sequel, the DKC movie, the Luigi's Mansion movie. I don't care if it makes me a sheep you've got me hook line and sinker. I'm so blown away by how well it got the series down and I cannot wait to see where it goes from here.

Thank you again for putting up with my insane ramblings. Please follow me on twitter if you wanna... idk see me be a crazy person more.

That's all from me, go out and watch a movie that really makes you emotional!

[going-dead]

Phasmophobia

Danny was very sick of tourists coming to explore Amity park. Like very sick of them, especially the ‘ghost hunter’ ones. In the end they just caused more problems than the actual ghosts, getting in the way of the fights causing Danny more stress and injuries than normal. Not to mention they sucked at their so called jobs. He was pretty sure even a single elementary schooler of Amity was a better ghost fighter than all of the tourists combined.

But at the moment it was the dead of winter and probably one of the coldest weeks of the year. So only the stupidest of self proclaimed ghost hunters would venture out to hunt ghosts in weather like this. While it was nice not having to worry about danger prone tourists Danny still was miserable, he could deal with the cold just fine in fact he preferred the cold. The problem was that It was the holiday season, the worst time of the year. At least the ghost attacks were less frequent as they all prepared for the Christmas truce party.

Still he supposed it could be worse. His parents weren’t fighting as much this year, though that was probably due to the fact they were still treating him like he was made of glass half of the time after he told them about the whole half dead thing. Danny figured that was due to the fact they blamed themselves for the portal incident, causing them to coddle him to an almost tortuous degree. It was as if they expected him to disappear if he was so much as bumped in the wrong way. It had gotten a bit better at this point at least, if things continued as it did at the beginning Danny was pretty sure he’d rather have them still be shooting at him. Now they only tensed up when he left the house instead of not so subtly stalking him all day.

At the moment Danny was sitting on the counter in the kitchen with his mom while she was cooking dinner. “Danny dear get off the counter that’s where the food goes not you.” Maddie said shooing him off the counter with a spatula.

Danny floated off in a huff, “This is ghostphobic mom. The counter is a perfect seat.”

Maddie rolled her eyes, “The term would be phasmophobic, and no it’s not it’s; I don’t want your butt all over where I’m making our dinner-phobic.”

“Fine transphobic then.”

“How about asking you to set the table? What would that be?”

Danny mulled it over for a few seconds. “A reasonable request I suppose.” He phased his hands though the cabinets grabbing the plates. Honestly he could have just as easily grabbed them normally but he was still trying to get his parents used to him having powers. “Oh by the way Sam, Tucker, and I are hanging out tomorrow to celebrate winter break starting and school being out for two whole weeks.” “Alright sweetie, but be safe okay?”

“Of course I will be mom.”

“I mean it Danny, please.”

Danny sighed “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to text you regularly to let you know I’m safe. I’ll be fine and stay out of trouble, I promise” Maddie nodded seemingly plated at least for the time being.

The next day Danny was really regretting making that promise. The day started out so well too. Danny, Sam, and Tucker were walking along the park trail. Danny was walking a few steps in front of the other two, subtly making the path easier with his powers. The only people out insane enough to bear the cold were people who had to go to work and teens who were bored out of their minds.

“All I’m saying Danny is that if you want to choose that class you should choose a race other than human for once. Hellspawn would be the best option in your case.” Tucker argued.

“Says the dude playing the race for furries.” Danny shot back turning his head to look back at his friend.

“Hey! The beastmen race is a perfect fit for my class, they have an exp boost for trickery and magic skills  it’s the best for playing a character who mains in ambushing with traps.

“Boys boys stop arguing. Danny will be fine playing as a human he’s just gonna have to spend more time grinding. Also he’s right, beastmen are so the furry option.” Sam cut in.

“Whatever, I just don’t understand why he always plays the most boring race in every game he plays. I mean why would you want to play as a human when you could be a fantasy race like an elf or something.”

“Well that’s easy for you and Sam to say you both are still hum-,” Danny was cut off mid sentence by his ghost sense and a glowing red circle surrounding the group. He hardly had a chance to go ghost before being fully enveloped by the light.

When Danny was finally oriented enough to open his eyes he vowed to never complain about getting motion sick while his dad was driving again if it meant he would never have to go through that awful experience again. It felt like getting sucked into the Fenton Thermos if it was the size of a straw and being spun in a blender all at the same time. He looked around seeing if his friends were brought along with him. And just his luck, of course they got pulled through whatever the hell that was too.

“Ugh, you guys okay?” He closed his eyes again and focused on stabilizing his core and getting the last of the nausea to leave.

“Bleh I think I’m gonna hurl.” Sam groaned from beside him.

Danny heard Tucker shift beside him. “Yeah I’m good, I guess all that time staying up late playing VR games kinda helped against motion sickness. Landed on my arm though so definitely going to bruise later. Where are we anyway?”

That actually was a good question, Danny lifted himself off the ground literally, using legs to stand was lame anyway. The sight he was met with was both confusing and surprising. Looking down he saw that the three of them were in some sort of red magic circle or something, with candles lit around it. Looking past that was the part that was surprising. He was expecting this to be the work of a ghost but standing in a circle around the three of them were six  humans in different colored robes. He couldn’t recognize any of them though, they must have been from out of town or just total shut ins. He was pretty sure he recognized where they were though, it was the basement of an abandoned building next to the mall, Sam was super into urban exploring the year before and it was one of the first places she dragged the two boys to.

“Haha uhh hey didn’t know there was a costume party going on, I would have dressed up, looks like you got all the colored robe thing going on though. Would my hazmat suit work instead of a robe?” Danny looked at the group around him and cracked an uneasy smile. Maybe it was some sort of accidental ghost summoning or something, it wouldn’t be the first time. Though the fact it brought his friends along pointed to it either being on purpose or something much more powerful, or both.

The man in the black robe turned to a woman in a white one. “Why did the spell bring two kids along with it .”

Danny tried to ignore being called an ‘it’ not like his parents didn’t do it before they knew about his identity. “I’m not the murder clown and I do have a name you know.” But his words seemed to fall onto deaf ears.

“I did the calculations right if that’s what you’re trying to imply, as you can see the subject did appear in the circle as planned. We probably just underestimated how much power the sacrifice would provide with the addition of the solstice.” White robe snapped. Great, this was totally just what Danny needed at the start of his winter break. Not only did they seem like ghost hunters they were the crazy obsessed culty ones.

“Either way the goal was achieved in the end, we have the ghost boy.” Black robe pointed to two men, one in yellow and one in blue robes. “Take care of the two bystanders, but don’t kill them. After all we shouldn’t kill our soon to be followers.” Yeah that wasn’t concerning at all Danny thought.

The one in the yellow grabbed Sam and the one in the blue grabbed Tucker at the black robed man's command. Danny assumed that probably meant the black robed one was the one in charge here. “Hey! Get your hands off me you freaks!” Sam yelled, struggling against the man’s grip.

But Danny’s friends didn’t have a chance against people twice their size. Before either of them could struggle more the two men slammed their heads to the ground in almost unison, knocking them out almost instantly. It happened so fast all Danny would do is watch on in horror. He felt like he watched their now limp bodies for ages, their chests shallowly rising at least giving him the relief of knowing they were still alive. But the sight of small puddles of blood forming around their heads snapped him out of his horror and into a rage.

Danny placed his feet to the ground turning to look at the two in the black and white robes. “Why?” He seethed, “You said they were accidentally brought along when you were trying to get me here. Technically in a way this falls onto me. So tell me, why?”

The man in the black robe seemed taken aback from being confronted so suddenly. The woman in white didn’t seem to have the same problem, maybe they both were in charge? Honestly though Danny didn’t care at this point. “We will take over the little town you haunt. After we do that we will find out where all the ghosts are originating from and then make them into our soldiers so we can take over the country and then the world. To do that we obviously needed you out of the way since you seem to be the only one capable of combating the other ghosts that come into this world. Or you would just defeat our pawns before they could take true action. So we found a way to summon and trap ghosts, then brought you here so we could get you out of our way.”

Honestly Danny was disappointed hearing that more than anything, his rage almost completely disappeared after hearing the plan. “Hold up that is the stupidest plan I have ever heard.” And that was saying something seeing as he dealt with Vlad's plans on a weekly basis. “First off you do realize it would be very hard to get or even force ghosts into your service if you don’t offer them, anything in return. Not to mention how some ghosts have almost godlike powers and you expect to overpower them? Also I am not even close to the only one who can fight ghosts. Everyone in Amity Park has at least some know how when it comes to ghost fighting. They sell basic ghost protection equipment at the supermarket. I just happen to be better suited than everyone else because I y’know can like fly and go intangible when chasing them. Using ghosts to take over the world is so stupid do you even know how to properly catch a ghost? Seriously this is like next level dumb, not to mention how did you even know the summoning would work if it didn't you’d just all be standing in a darkly lit room looking dumber than you already do.”

That seemed to anger the white one a lot. Apparently she didn’t like her intelligence questioned. “Why you little-.” She stomped her foot. “This plan was thought through down to the smallest detail. You want to know how it worked huh? How about asking your friend over there. I wonder what happens when the dead are killed? You will find out soon enough.”

Danny looked over to where we gestured and his refound taunting attitude vanished. Laying over in the corner inside a smaller less complex looking circle was a ghost or the ectoplasmic remains of one at least, the core was completely destroyed. Judging by the fact that the ectoplasm was red it probably had a fire core before it was destroyed. From the lingering ecto signature Danny doubted the ghost was even sapient. It was most likely the remains of something like a blob ghost or the ghost of an animal or even a weaker ectopus. Still all he could do was stare at the remains in horror.

“Of course summoning you was harder so we used that thing for its ghost energy to help power the circle. Instead of chalk we used it’s ectoplasm to ensure the strength and longevity of the seal to hold you in the circle.” The woman smiled as if she achieved something great. Achieve something she did indeed, but it certainly was not what she intended.

The rage Danny felt before came back in full force. Before with his friends he at least knew they would recover, all three of them got injured fighting ghosts more often than they should. But to injure a ghost to the point where not even their core remained was something so taboo that only the most despicable ghosts would do. Even Skulker kept the cores of his prey stable enough not to fade away completely. A ghost's form could be completely destroyed but as long as their core remained they would reform back where they first formed in the Ghost Zone. The only ghosts Danny could think of who would go out of their way to destroy a core were some of the ancients like Pariah Dark or Nocturne.

Danny finally managed to tear his eyes away from the ghost's remains to lock eyes with the woman. She and the black robed man took a step back out of instinct. Looking into his eyes they felt the feeling every animal of prey felt when it knew it was being watched, being hunted. The temperature in the room dropped and frost started to crawl across the walls. Danny took a step towards the two leaders before pausing to reconsider and turning and starting towards the two men standing above his friends.

Then men in yellow and blue robes looked to the man in black for guidance, unsure of what action to take. He looked uncertain as well but shook his head. “There’s no way it can pass through the seal, we tested it.”

Danny's eyes flicked over to the man then back to the two who hurt his friends and gave them a predatory grin, his teeth now looking slightly sharper than usual. He made no sound as he stepped over the circle with ease closer and closer to the two men. They both reached for their weapons, small bats, apparently they were the muscle of the group, and swung at the approaching ghost. Danny simply went intangible causing the two to overswing and hit each other instead, knocking the wind out of them both and causing them to drop their bats. While they were catching their breath Danny grabbed them by their hair and knocked their heads together. Their bodies crumbled to the floor just a few inches from the teens they did the same to just minutes before.

The one who had yet to say or do anything, dressed in red, made her way towards Danny while his back was towards her. Just as she got within arms reach of him she slipped and fell. The temperature had dropped even more at this point causing the ground surrounding Danny to ice over. Danny hardly acknowledged the large thud behind him simply trapping the fallen woman up to her neck in ice as he walked past and headed towards his final two targets.

When first summoned by the group Danny could, within reason, probably be passed off as a weirdish looking human excluding the glow around him. But now as he stalked towards his prey that was no longer the case. His chest no longer moved like it was breathing. His feet made no sound as they made contact with the ground. His eyes, non-blinking, no longer had pupils or even whites to them just a void of endless ectoplasmic green. His ears were pointed almost bat like. The tips of which, along with his lips, were tinted blue. His hair, normally white like snow, now was just the white that came from complete absence of any color. The hair was defying gravity almost as if it was underwater while smoke like wisps trailed off from his hair as he moved. His mouth was twisted into an emotionless smile splitting through his cheeks showing needle like teeth all the way back to where his molars would have been, there was no tongue or throat behind them, just another endless green void. The skin of his neck that was showing past the hazmat suit was marked with lightning like scars. The glow around him seemed to absorb all the light in the room.

The man in the black robe looked between the approaching horror and his partner before running towards the exit. Danny moved so fast it was almost as if he materialized right in front of the man. The man stumbled back falling down in shock but still tried to scramble away from him crossing his chest as he did so. Just as Danny started to raise his arm towards the man he paused and lurched back.

He looked down at his chest where an ornate knife was now lodged. Holding onto the hilt was the woman, she gave the knife a final twist before letting go and herding her partner into the corner farthest away from Danny. Danny showed no pain as he grabbed the knife and pulled it out, the blade was dripping with ectoplasm, and dropped it on the ground. The wound in his chest already healing, filling with more ectoplasm to replace what was lost.

The smile that was marring Danny’s face was replaced with a scowl as he made his way towards the corner where the two were cowering. Placing a hand on their necks he lifted them both up against the wall and started slowly burning their skin with an ectoblast. He let them go, letting them fall to the ground only when their screams of pain turned silent as crushed vocal cords and burnt throat muscles took their toll. Both cult leaders looked up at him in horror faces pale. "What's wrong?" Danny smiled, "It looks like you've seen a ghost."

The woman looked at him in fear as she grasped at the raw skin of her throat, which now was covered in blisters and charred in some of the worst places. “Wha-, what, what are you?” She managed to rasp out before coughing up some blood.

Danny let out a dark chuckle, his voice echoed over itself. “I-,” he snarled, “am a Phantom .”

After Danny sent an anonymous tip to the police about the cult, he brought his friends back to his house. Of course his mom freaked out after he stopped responding to her texts and even more when he phased into the living room with an unconscious Sam and Tucker. He was pretty sure she was about to break out the BOOmerang if she didn’t hear from him for much longer. She was more than willing to take the two of them to the hospital to get them checked out.

Danny made a quick stop into the ghost zone to tell Clockwork to spread the word to other ghosts to be on alert and that there were humans that were trying to summon and capture ghosts. After telling Clockwork what happened, in much more detail than the briefest summary he gave his mom, including how he probably went a bit overboard with dealing with the cultists. He also admitted he didn't regret it even if he did go overboard. They hurt his friends and caused a ghost to completely fade, and in Danny’s opinion they deserve whatever came to them. The whole story caused Clockwork to also start fretting over him making sure to let Danny know that his reaction was a completely normal response to someone threatening something that falls within his obsession especially since it happened in his haunt of all places. Danny swore that his ghostly mentor could be worse than his own parents sometimes especially when it came to reassuring him about his more ghostly tendencies.  

Luckily after being released from the hospital it turned out the worst Sam and Tucker suffered were concussions that would heal in a decently short amount of time. That didn’t mean they weren’t complaining about it though.

“Stop laughing about my suffering Danny! I won’t be able to start playing Fantasy War Online VII until my two week tech restriction is lifted by my doctor. It was bad enough I had to go to a hospital but to be taken away from my lovely devices as well is just too much.” Tucker lamented.  

“Quit complaining and suck it up. I’m on the restriction too Tucker.” Sam pointed out.

Tucker huffed. “Yeah well you’ll probably manage to catch up to all the people who are getting it on release day easily, since you’re scarily good at MMO’s.” He flopped back onto Danny’s bed. “Hey at least this gives us more time to convince Danny to play something other than a human for once in his life. Like I said before the hellspawn is the perfect race for the build you’re going for.”

Danny just rolled his eyes. “And like I said before, I like being a human.” “Whatever dude just don’t complain when I utterly beat you if we end up fighting because you wanted to be the lamest most boring race ever.”

Danny shrugged. “Somehow I’ll cope, I just think it’s nice to be seen as normal and not scary.”

Sam laughed. “Danny you are the least scary person like to ever exist. The only things scary about you are your grades and your wacky parents. I doubt you could be scary if you tried.”

Danny looked out the window watching the stars as they started to appear in the sky. “...Yeah I guess you’re right.”

[what-the--curtains]

Not a Piece of Art

Part 2/5 - The Dinner Party

(Javier Peña x f!reader)

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Summary: You’re invited to the targets house for dinner, will they see through your act? Or can you keep your hatred hidden for long enough to get the information you need?

Authors note: Thank you for all the lovely comments and likes and reblogs💕❤️! I’ve been feeling kinda bleh recently so I apologize for it taking so long and I’m also sorry if it’s crap but I’m pretty happy with the story line (also there’s gonna be a follow up to this series for sure). Anyways hope y’all are keeping well and thank you for reading!!

Warnings: THIS STORY WILL BE 18+ starting next chapter (minors DNI) . For now it’s just swearing and allusions to abusive relationships

Word count: 5.7k

Tagged: @trash-dino-5000 @diogodxlot @agingerindenial

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You watch the moving trucks hired by the DEA to facilitate your luxurious, but imaginary lifestyle roll up the driveway one after the other. Each truck opened to reveal piece after piece of expensive furniture better suited to the silver screen than your real life adding to the dysphoria you'd been feeling over the past few days. You were now living and enjoying someone else's life, a fact that left an uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach. Though the anxiety you were feeling was likely due to the very real threat of being murdered, and not the lavish home decor you were now in possession of. If there was one thing to be thankful for it was your close proximity to the water, you’d been landlocked for too long. Peace washes over you as you watch the water break against the cliff face. You turn towards the target's house gazing up to the balcony on the third floor. The doors are swung open and a woman in white stands with her arms outstretched on the railing, standing like a queen overseeing her kingdom. You were being watched. You lift your hand up to block out the sun, hoping to get a better look at her, but she's gone by the time you do.

Noticing the overwhelmed look plastered on your face as the trucks arrived Javier decided he would take on directing the movers. Only calling for your help when furniture needed to be placed, as interior design was admittedly not in his wheelhouse.

“You know where that goes?” Javi asks the movers, lighting up a cigarette and placing it between his lips. The movers nod as they lug the enormous mattress inside. He turns scanning the landscape to locate your whereabouts, you'd been all over the place this morning. Whether you were playing into the spacey artist trope or the pressure was finally getting to you he wasn’t really sure. Either way he wanted to make this transition as easy as possible for you, and considering you weren't a field agent it was also his responsibility to keep you safe. He spots you near the walkway that leads down to the ocean, a gentle breeze blows in from the beachfront causing the linen dress wrapped around you to part just above your thigh. There's a relaxed smile etched on your face, resulting in a calm that Javi had never witnessed emanating from you before.

An arm snakes around your waist and you lean into it for a moment before remembering who it belonged to causing your body to instinctively retract. You push back off his chest and watch as Peña shakes his head in quiet frustration before turning back towards the moving trucks. You chew your lip, you knew you had to do better at acting the part you’d been ordered to play. If you didn’t this mission would be over before it even started. Memorizing your alias was easy enough as was adopting the british accent, but acting in love with Peña. That was where it all fell apart, but if there was one thing you knew for sure it was that you did your best work under pressure. You swallow hard as the last few trucks slip away down the driveway. The notion of being left alone with Peña for the first time was an anxiety not even the ocean could sooth. With a deep breath you will your legs to move towards your new home which is currently looking more like a cell. You walk by Peña who snuffs out his cigarette in the dirt before following you inside.

“Why would two people ever need a house this big?” he asks, closing the door behind you, his voice bouncing off the marble walls.

“So they never have to see each other.” you offer, running your hand along the granite countertops.

“That felt targeted,” he says, watching your hands movement intently.

“It wasn’t, at least not intentionally. You notice how this whole back wall is glass? Weird design choice” you remark, trying to open up a civil dialogue with him.

“Probably built it so they can keep tabs on the neighbours” he offers coming up behind you, standing a little too close for comfort.

“Why build a house across from yours if you're trying to be undetected?” you ask, turning around nearly colliding with his chest, huffing at the inconvenience before maneuvering around him.

“If you were a federal agent and a big empty house was available for a stake out would you take it or would you go for the rocky beach or bug infested forest? Keep your enemies close, they expect the feds to show up here, so they make it easy to monitor” he explains, in a surprisingly uncondescending way.

“Hadn’t thought about that” you admit.

“Don’t teach you everything in those fancy buildings with ivory towers” he chuckles, as he sits down on one of the couches.

“Never claimed that they did” you retort “did they bring any food in?” you ask, moving towards the fridge.

“Not sure, figured the kitchen was your domain, can you bring me a beer” Javi says, the subtle misogyny fueling the rage simmering inside you.

“I’m sorry what exactly did your last servant die of?” You snap back.

“What? We’re supposed to keep up appearances” he responds calmly from the couch, feet crossed on the coffee table that cost more than your yearly rent.

“And what exactly is my appearance supposed to be? The domesticated housewife who brings you beer, cooks you dinner and sucks you off?” you respond, rage finally boiling over.

“Well I hadn't asked for that last one yet but...”

“Unbelievable! You can cook for yourself Peña. I'm not your wife and im definitely not your fucking mother”

“You certainly nag like her. Seriously a beer, it's not asking much” he demands.

“You know...” you say opening the fridge and pulling out a beer walking it over to him “I don't know if you’ve heard...” you continue, nudging his feet off the table with your calves as you place the beer down “of these amazing things...” you say, kneeling down, parting his legs and rising up between them, making eyes at him as you slowly run your hands up his thighs. “Called legs!” you state slapping your palms down on his thighs smiling as the growing smirk on his face quickly disappears “You should try using them sometime” you finish standing back up, grabbing the beer from the table and heading back into the kitchen to cook yourself, and only yourself, dinner. You'd managed to stay out of each other's hair for the rest of the evening, but another blowout ensued when it came to figuring out your sleeping situation.

“C'mon you don't have to be such a...” Javi exclaims calmly

“Such a what Peña?” you ask watching him bite his tongue “No please finish that sentence. I’d love to hear what thought provoking and truly innovative ideas you have about me.” You retort

“Just get in the bed” he pleads, lifting up the sheets and motioning his hand towards it.

“With you? I'd rather be shot” you state.

“Keep acting like this and your wish may just get granted sweetheart” he says through gritted teeth, the petulant show you were putting on wearing thin.

“Newsflash Peña! They can’t see us in here, so I think I'll take my chances on the couch” you assumed it was far enough away from the windows to keep you from prying eyes.

“Your fucking funeral” he shouts down the hall, watching you storm off with an armful of sleepwear you'd brought from home. The sleepwear was not flattering nor did it fit into the rich aesthetic you were currently upholding, but at this point, you didn't care. You'd chosen the oversized band shirt and basketball shorts because they hid your body away from prying eyes. Not that Peña would be looking, you hardly qualified as his type. You flop down on the couch rolling your eyes at the beer bottles he’d left there, likely for you to clean up. Irritated you fall asleep, cursing the couch for being inexplicably the most uncomfortable thing you'd ever had the misfortune of sitting on.

Your woken as the doorbell sounds throughout the house startling you so badly that you fall off the couch with a loud thud. “Shit!” you curse realizing it was likely the target. As quick as you can, you strip off your pyjamas and throw on the robe you had snatched in a hurry last night, only just realizing it was practically sheer. You yawn as you open the door to a beautiful woman who you immediately recognize as the target's wife, Helena. Presumably the same woman who you had seen on the balcony yesterday. She looked every bit a billionaire's wife with her hair neatly styled, 6 inch heels and perfect makeup while you, well you currently looked, and smelt, like you’d slept in a sewer.

“Hi im Helena, we saw you move in yesterday, we live next door.”

“We?” you ask squinting into the early morning light as another yawn escapes your lips

“Me and my husband” She says looking past you towards the couch where you had slept. Shit. Peña was not going to let you live that one down. Speaking of the devil, he appears from the bedroom in an open robe, and very thin linen pants, a look that made you realize why so many women were easily charmed by him.

“Cara mia, who's at the door?” he asks, eyes darting to the obviously slept in couch before settling on the beautiful woman standing before him. A woman who'd have his full attention if it wasn't for the transparent robe clumsily wrapped around your body.

“Our new neighbor” you say, refraining from using a cutesy nickname afraid you'd choke on it.

“Forgive my wife, she hasn’t been sleeping well” he says, coming over and wrapping himself around you, kissing the top of your head, before resting his chin on it.

“I find I sleep best when next to my husband” she responds offering Javi a megawatt smile which he returns.

“Maybe if your husband doesn't snore like an elephant” you respond sleepily with a soft laugh. You were surprised how well the british accent rolled off your tongue despite the early hour.

“Mine does as well, shakes the whole house! The things we put up with when we are truly in love are amazing” shes says, reigniting your anxiety “We want you to come for dinner, we've hired a chef” she continues.

“We’d love to, always good to know the neighbours, we like to make sure we're keeping good company” Javi reponds.

“Excellent, lets say, 7:30, be on time, my husband doesn't like to be kept waiting.” The second the door shuts you wiggle out from his grasp and make your way over to the kitchen pouring yourself, and only yourself, some coffee, still tired from the piss poor sleep you'd gotten last night. At least this time it wasn’t because you had to listen to someone having rigourous sex through the walls.

Javier follows close behind snatching the cup from your hands and taking a sip, knowing full well it wasn’t meant for him. He watches your eyes bulge slightly and your jaw tightens before you storm off into the bedroom to change out of the see through robe, much to his dismay.

“We need to go over the plan for tonight,” he says from the kitchen.

“Alright what is it?” you ask emerging in one of the many luxurious outfits provided to you.

“We’ll scout it out, find the room where they keep the paintings nd take the samples you need.”

“Ya” you say “and how exactly am I supposed to sneak in test tubes filled with liquid that traces drugs. ” you ask

“Bring a purse? I don't know. You're the genius you figure it out” he shrugs.

“I could wear a long skirt and strap them to my legs?”

“No they'll know you're hiding something,” he says, shooting down your idea.

“Purse it is then” you respond. “If they come back positive then what?”

“We can figure that out later, but i'll drop hints that the money I've made has been done in less than legal ways, and mention your outstanding knack for counterfeiting. Oh and wear something short tonight” he says “More to see means less to hide” he offers when he sees you glaring at him. “ and no scowling at me while we're in there, unless you really want to blow it” he laughs, your hatred for him almost comical at this point.

“What am I supposed to do when you're being insufferable then” you dig, with a wide fake smile.

“Save them up for later, besides it won't be me in there with you, it'll be my character, who you don’t hate.”

7:00pm

You change into a burgundy dress with an open back that falls well above your mid thigh, its length hardly covering you. You make a note not to bend over throughout the night, as you sling on the high heels that cost more than all your shoes combined. You grab the swabs and plastic bags needed to keep them sterile and stuff them into your purse before slipping on your wedding ring, and exiting into the kitchen.

“Alright, how do I look?” you ask, reopening the purse and re organizing the material inside it. When you finally look up you’re taken aback. Peña's usual attire of tight jeans and button up t shirt’s had been replaced by a stunning velvet pastel coloured jacket worn over top, a partially unbuttoned silk dress shirt and black dress pants. He cleaned up well, very well.

Your prolonged look doesn't go unnoticed by Javi, nor does the way your eyes quickly dart back down to your purse when he meets your gaze. He refrains from making a snarky comment knowing it would only piss you off, and that was the last thing he wanted to do before infiltrating a highly dangerous situation.

“Perfect, hermosa” he says, he wasn’t lying about it either. He knew you weren’t really listening to what he was saying, but god if you didn't look perfect tonight. Pretending to be in love with you would be easy enough for him, he hoped you’d be able to maintain the act as well. He watches as you move gracefully around him in heels that were working exceptionally well at emphasizing your... assets. He averts his eyes when you reach up for a bottle of wine knowing that more than you’d want him to see would be out.

“You know I can speak Spanish, right?” you say, a small smile creeping on your lips before quickly disappearing back into the cold facade you were determined to keep up against him.

“Well, I do now” he laughs, slightly embarrassed he got caught out complimenting you sincerely. He slides on his wedding band and escorts you out the door.

“God how do people walk in these for more than 15 mintues” you mutter, your feet already killing you. You almost regretted pushing Peñas arm away when he’d offered it to you earlier. Approaching the house you feel his hand wrap around your waist and you lean into him in an attempt to take some pressure off your feet. He rings the doorbell, lowering his hand as he hears the heels approaching from down the hall. Lifting up the hem of your dress he begins rubbing small circles over your thigh with his thumb. Any other time and you'd have broken his hand without a second though, but it fell well within the contract you’d had him sign detailing exactly where and when he was allowed to touch you.

“Welcome” Helena says as she opens the door in an equally revealing dress. She leads you through the enormous entrance way and into the main foyer, gazing up you see balconies on each level overlooking the large ballroom area. Your amazement at the house was cut short as you turned to see Peña who was currently only paying attention to Helena's fine architecture. If your eye rolls wouldn't give your true feeling for eachother away, his ogling certainly might. You elbow him harshly in ribs causing his hand to inadvertently dig deeper into your skin. His grip releases as Helena's husband enters into the room grabbing her and kissing her deeply for just long enough that both you and Javier feel uncomfortable.

“Welcome” he booms after separating from Helena, grasping Javis hand in his. You can see the veins in his arm bulge, as he clamps down on Peñas hand in a bizarre play for dominance.

“Here” you say offering him the wine, causing him to release his grip “Your home is as stunning as your wife” you smile as he looks down at the bottle reading its label.

“This one’s from a good year! Neither of our wives were even born then, lucky for us” he laughs, winking at you “We’ll have it with dinner.” he continues, pulling Javi into his side and walking him towards the bar.

Helena smiles at you and raises her eyebrows, rolling her eyes at her husband's behaviour. “Come now, alcohol will get us through the night” she states, leading you down the hallway. You knew her suspicions were high, and it wasn't lost on you that she’d likely shared her feelings with her husband, but she was being remarkably kind, which only added to your concern.

“Drink? What’s your poison, Carino?” Carlos demands of you. He was larger than life in both stature and personality, charming but in a terrifying way.

“I do believe he's talking to you love” you joke, smiling up at Javi earning a laugh from Helena.

“Whiskey, neat.” he says, you couldn't tell if Carlos was amused or upset by your disobedience, but the way Peña was currently pulling you discreetly out of Carlos’ reach made you think it was the latter.

“I usually don't ask twice, but for someone so beautiful and so clever, I'll make the exception. Though just his once” Javis grip around you relaxes and you flash Carlos a smile.

“Gin and tonic, if you don't mind”

“Any preference” he asks.

“Dealers choice”, you say, offering him back the control which seems to cut the tension and it's not long before he’s once again laughing with Javi.

“We're glad to have neighbours again '' Carlos says “especially ones who seem so agreeable.” His approval doesn’t relax you. Approval wasn’t trust and you’re well aware that this was just as much an interrogation as it was a dinner party. Carlos takes a seat in one of the upholstered armchairs gesturing for Javi to join him. Helena nods her head towards the couch and you follow her lead. Your eyes are quickly pulled off her when Peña yanks you down onto his lap.

“Darling!” you exclaim thanking the lord you didn't use his real name by mistake. “I could have spilled this very expensive drink all over this very expensive chair, I'm so sorry! I'd say he's not usually like this but...”

“I understand his need to have a beautiful woman in his arms as often as possible, it's why I'm on my fourth wife!” he boasts.

“I'm hoping i'll stick.” Helenea says, holding her drink up as she gazes lovingly over to Carlos, though something behind her eyes told another story. Perhaps you weren't the only one harbouring a secret hatred. “I'm hoping you’ll both stick as well. Neighbours can be problematic, nosy even, our last ones were before they...moved” Helena says from the couch

“Hard to imagine someone tiring from living in the house. It's beautiful, did you build it?” you ask

“Paid for it, but Helena designed it the whole thing, she's very gifted.” Carlos brags.

“I'd have to agree with that,” Javi says, smiling at her which she returns, a flirtation playing on both their faces. Javis hands may be on you but his eyes were on her and if you were picking up on it Carlos certainly had as well. You jump slightly when the server enters the room to inform the group that dinner was ready.

Javi pulls out a chair for you and you sit down placing your hand on his as he takes his seat next to you. The meal was the best you ever had, five delicious courses each one more decadent than the last.

“You don’t take her out to many five star restaurants? It seems as if she's never eaten such a meal!” Carlos excalims. Evidently you were doing a piss poor job at hiding your delight.

“I'm still getting used to the lifestyle if i’m honest. Though I imagine a meal such as this is still rare, even at the most expensive restaurants” you say before Javi can respond for you, the recovery impressing him slightly.

“You should have seen what she was eating before I met her, back when she was a starving artist” Javi says, as you bring a hand up to rub along the velvet jacket covering his broad shoulders.

“The billionaire and the starving artist, now I must know. How did you come to find each other?” Helena asks.

“My art dealer went to New York and brought back one of her paintings, it came with a photo and after seeing it I knew I had to have her, if she’d take me”

“And how did an old man like him convince a sweet young thing like you to marry him?” Carlos asks.

“No convincing needed, not when he sent thousands of my favourite flowers to my studio before showing up at the door himself. Any man willing to put that much time and money towards meeting me deserves a date. At least in my books and he’s continued to prove himself to me ever since.” You gaze up at him lovingly, so convincing that for a moment even he forgets you hate his guts.

“What are they? Her favorite flowers?” Helena probes, earning a grunt from Carlos presumably displeased with his wifes intrusiveness.

“Sunflowers. They're hard to find in New York, especially in the winter, I had to ship them from California.” Your gaze of faux adoration turns quickly to genuine surprise. How had he known what your favourite flowers were? It wasn't outlined in your character profile and you'd certainly never told him.

“I’ve seen the piece, its beautiful, your wifes very talented,”

“You should see her school portfolio, copies of works that were almost exact replicas of the originals. She possesses the talent of a hundred artists before her”

“You flatter me. Copying is a technique used to learn, but it's no measure of true artistry or creativity” you laugh. “When did you see my work, were you in New York?”

“Oh no I'm an art dealer myself, but I have people go to places for me. Your work was passed over my desk a few weeks ago.” Carlos explains.

“Perhaps I could paint you something then I would finally have a truly unbiased critic” You watch as Carlos slowly nods his head, contemplating your offer.

‘You’ll have to see our art collection, we have pieces here from all over the world” Helena says,

“How long have you been in the business?’ you ask, taking Carlos as a man who liked to show off

“longer than you've been alive” he says winking at you.

“Well I can only imagine what pieces you must have , you've proven to have exquisite taste, in all areas of life.” you smile eyes briefly darting to Helena.

“Helena show her the gallery would you, I wish to speak with my friend here in private”

“Will you be joining us later?” Helena asks, causing him to grunts out a yes before pulling Javi into another room to talk about god knows what. She leads you up to the second floor, each step you take causing a sharp pain to shoot down your foot’s arch.

“You get used to the heels, small price to pay for the lifestyle. Walking around in them in the house for a while helps.” she explains.

“Thank you” you say. “Somedays I dont think I'll ever really acclimatize to the lifestyle.” She leads you into a large room, greek style pillars run through the middle while art from around the world lines the walls. If the pieces were real this room was worth millions.

“How does your family feel about you living here? It must be hard them being so far away in England”

“I uhm...I... don’t have any.” You can feel her eyes boring into you assessing the answer you just gave her. “They passed, when I was 19” you continue turning to meet her gaze.

“I'm so sorry. To lose them so young must have been devastating, but I don't need to tell you that, do I” she says, shaking her head. You nod swallowing hard gazing back to the paintings. “Lucky he found you I suppose, and such a handsome man at that. Many billionaires are.... not.”

“Lucky for us both then” you say, moving along the wall “these painting are beautiful, I envy you being surrounded by such formidable pieces, and only a walk away”

“Yes'' she says, as if she doesn't care. She's watching you intently, trying to suss out where your loyalties lied, your lack of descriptive fondness for your husband suddenly seemed like a poor choice on your part. Before she can ask another question you hear Carlos yell out for her, the noise startling you both, so much so that her hand clamps down on your wrist.

“Duty calls” she says, composing herself and relaxing her grip on you.

“Should I come with you?” you ask, playing into the deer in headlights trope which seemed to have an effect on Helena.

“No, he asked for just me. I don't like to disobey him, he's not a kind man when not listened to.”

“Are you safe here” you ask.

“As long as I don’t cause trouble I should be.” she affirms.

“Well, you're welcome at ours, at any time. If anything happens, even if it doesn't you can stay with us. Heavens knows we have the room.” you say sincerely, the concern coming from you, not your character. Helana nods offering you a soft smile squeezing your hand before leaving the room.

“See how obedient she is, how compliant, she's perfect, don’t you think!” Carlos says

“Hard to argue with that,” Javi responds, giving her a once over.

“And beautiful yes, c'mon you are married not dead” he prompts when Javi doesn't respond immediately

“Very much so” he says, smiling at Helena before turning to Carlos who was intent on showing off his wife in the most demeaning way possible.

“Was there something you needed love?” Helena asked. She was used to her husbands showing her off to other men, but she was growing tired of it. She was involved in her husband's work, primarily in the organization making sure everything ran smoothly, she knew if it didn't she would inevitably be to blame. She valued her life, so she learnt fast, adapted like a pro. Four years later and her husband hadn’t offed her yet. She was a mastermind in a career she had been inadvertently forced into, but a mastermind nonetheless. To her husband she was nothing more than a trophy, but better to be that than a punching bag.

“A word in private” he says, gesturing to her with a come hither motion.

“Your wifes in the art room, up the stair, down the hall to the left, take the drink with you, we won't be a moment” He says, his eyes telling Javi to vacate the room. He lets out a grumble as he closes the door behind him. He shakes his head, swirling the whiskey as he walks towards the gallery. He’d fumbled tonight by not making it clear that he only had eyes for his wife, a hard task considering Helena, who he realized too late was likely meant to see if his gaze could be easily swayed. Which it had. All thoughts about any other woman cease to exist when he walks into the gallery and sees you bent over swabbing a painting. Something about watching you in your element had always been mesmerizing to him. It’s why he was always dropping off files for you, the task could easily be outsourced, but he enjoyed watching you maneuver with ease around the various machines.

“You should be more careful querida,” he says, chuckling as you jump back.

“Watch the door, would you? I've got two more to do” he leans back against the frame, one eye on the door, one eye on you watching as you meticulously swab the remaining paintings. “All good, you don’t think they keep cameras in here?” you ask, closing up your purse.

“No. Cameras are easy to hack.” he says nonchalantly, as he comes over to you stopping at your side looking up at the painting, suddenly understanding people's fascination with art. You grab the drink from his hand and take a sip placing it back down on the empty pedestal propping yourself up along with it when you hear footsteps approaching.

“Come here” you demand, and he does, eyes suddenly darker than before. He stops a few inches in front of you. “Closer” you beckon, wrapping your legs around him and pulling him into you. You drape your arms around his shoulder extending your neck allowing his mouth to graze lightly over the skin just in time for Helena and Carlos to witness it. You push him off you in pretend shock.

“Please, don’t stop on our account” Carlos laughs

“I'm sorry, god these pieces must be worth thousands and here I am sitting on one” you say hoping the act wasn’t too transparent.

“Don’t apologize, a work of art belongs on a pedestal” Carlos says, the complementing causing Javis jaw to noticeably clench. He was a better actor than you gave him credit for, maybe they would buy this relationship after all.

“We should probably be going, once she starts it's hard to get her to stop,” Javi says.

“So that’s how she trapped you” the husband responds, the entire exchange causing you to cringe internally. You hop down off the stool as Javi finishes the whiskey offering the glass to Helena who takes it before leading you towards the front door.

“We must do this again soon,” she says settling into Carlos’ arm

“Perhaps at ours next time?” You offer

“A generous offer, but we prefer to entertain.” He says

“Then I look forward to seeing you soon, especially if another meal like that is in store” As you exit the mansion Javi makes sure his hand is visibly running over your body, but you slap it away the second you can.

“Ouch” he says, shaking out the hand, the rings on your fingers leaving a particular sting on his skin.

“Suck it up” you respond, having had enough of him for the night.

“Cut the shit, your attitude problem is going to get us killed” he whispers through gritted teeth.

“I don’t have an attitude problem. I just have a problem with you” You say, turning to face him and prodding a finger into his chest “ and don’t act like you ogling his wife was helping our case either. Ya I slipped up tonight, but so did you, so shoulder some of the blame you’re throwing my way.”

“Jealousy’s a nice colour on you” he laughs, knowing how riled up it would get you.

“Ha!” you fake laugh “ because it's jealousy and not the fact that your inability to keep it in your pants is going to get me killed.” You exclaim as you enter the kitchen grabbing down a glass and chugging some water before going into the art room where you were storing the testing kits.

You? Jealous? Of what exactly. What did he think he had to offer that would make you want or need to be the subject of his attention. Attention he gave to anything that walked or batted its eyelashes at him. Jesus he was insufferable, you hated that he had this notion that your anger was based on jealousy and not multiple interactions where he'd failed to impress you. Even if you had come off as jealous it was all a part of the act. He had been acting jealous throughout the night, did he think you weren't competent enough to do the same? You had three degrees for fucks sake, you deserve some credit. “Fucking asshole” you mutter, the manifestation of the words helping you to calm down enough to dip the q tips in the liquid, sure enough, they came back positive the paintings had been near drugs, you’d tell Peña about that later. You see the light on in the bedroom as you exit the “art room” and you head towards it determined to get one last punch in before going to bed.

Javier had just settled into the enormous bed he had the luxury of having all to himself, moments away from flicking the light switch when he notices your figure in the door frame.

“Penny for your thoughts?” he asks

“I think he's abusive, the husband you were getting along with so nicely” you spit out, the venom intended to question his character in a hurtful way, but it doesn't seem to phase him.

“It's the job to get friendly with the monsters, doesn't mean I like them” he reasons

“I told her she could come here if anything happened, so we’ll have to hide this stuff a bit better” you remark, turning your failed attempt to get one last dig in, into a valid reason for starting up a conversation.

“Guess you'll have to stop sleeping on the couch then” he smirks. Check mate. Your eyes bore into the bed you had just talked yourself into sharing with Javier Peña.

[futurewriter2000]

Too Late for Love

A/N: Oh God, it was a long one but finally I finished it. I know it took me a long time to write it but I DID! I tried putting all of my best in there. Though I think I could have made it better but it’s already long so I didn’t want to make it too long. I hope you like it <3 I love torturing James so much 

REQUESTED BY @whyevenbotherrightsstuff​ : Hi can I have a request for James Potter that you and him are going back and for to each other like friends with benefits you are in love with him but you see that he still chases after Lily and you are tired of it and eventually end it and move on and he sees that you are with someone else and it just makes him jealous. Sorry that that's a long one you can decide the ending if you want.

XX

It was as if it was an addiction.

You knew it was bad. You knew it was toxic but still, the pleasure from it was more appealing than recovery.

It's like that heart and brain saying. Sometimes you have to listen to the heart, sometimes you have to listen to your brain. However, never listen to your wild hormones, sex parts, and a horny, Gryffindor teenager named James Potter.

He was leaning over you, eyes staring down- not staring, rather observing, watching you seductively.

"Last night..." he lifted your chin, placing his lips on yours gently. "... last night was perfect." he pulled away and you smiled.

"It was?"

"Yeah but we should really just-" he heard some footsteps and quickly backed away from you, leaning on the wall and crossing his arms over his chest. He cleared his throat and continued. "Just find someplace else- you know... I don't want people talking."

It felt he pulled a string through your heart and sliced it in half.

Your smile wanted to drop but you kept it all the same as none of his words affected you. "Yeah-" you backed on the wall as well, chewing your lower lip as you tried to think clearly.

He could watch you biting your lip and he just thought back- back into that night, that perfect night where your bodies just moved so perfectly together. In such sync, harmony even.

He never thought he would be one of those guys that would have someone just for sex. But you and he had so much chemistry. You and he had more than that. He could be comfortable with you, know all your sweet spots and be sure he won't fuck up. It was complicated at first because you and he took each other's virginity and both of you wanted it that way.

You didn't pressure him into dating you immediately and he had told you that he is in love with another girl; Lily Evans.

Yet he couldn't stop thinking about it because the first time was extremely awkward for both of you. It was clammy, hot, stiffed, sweaty, sticky and he didn't really know what to do.

But there was a look i. Your eyes that just told him that it's okay and to be honest, he didn't want to suck at sex, so he asked you for a "favor". Just to perfect the sex, learn, explore, and please, find what makes each other tick.

It turned into just playful fun later on. It wasn't even planned anymore. The two of you would be sitting on the sofa, talking and laughing, and the next thing you know both of you were naked.

It was pure fun.

He used you and you used him and neither of you cared. Right?

Wrong. What do you expect?

For you, James was your first and it hurt like hell at first but it was as if... You could see yourself with him. Not just in the physical way, not just sex. Sometimes, in moments, there was something between the two of you that wasn't just sex. It was intimacy. It was love- for what you thought and you knew that he knew it too.

He should, right?

Wrong again.

He was James Potter. He and the right way were really best friends.

---

It was neverending torture. It was. For you, for him, for you mostly.

He kept leaning over to her, touching her, whispering to her... Flirting. It cramped your heart, your stomach, your whole bloody body to just see them.

It didn't anger you. It saddened you because all you kept thinking was: So there was just sex? There was just pleasure? Just fun? No intimacy? No love?

And you could feel your throat squeeze like someone poured a sour lemon into it, causing you to look away.

It hurt. It hurt because you were in love and he wasn't.

The ring was your salvation. It was your biggest, purest salvation because you couldn't wait to just run away and cry. It sounded pathetic but it was as if you couldn't help it anymore.

You were so stupid to believe you two actually had something. You were naive and gullible to fall for his manipulative lies and deceiving eyes. You were so furious at yourself because you let him get close to you. You let yourself love him when even in the slightest of his body that you kissed and touch, wasn't a chance of him loving you back.

But when you call the devil, the devil comes.

You could feel his hand on your shoulder without even looking at who he was. Your teary eyes flickered to the moving figure and he didn't even care enough to look closely and notice.

"Tonight, ten?" he grinned, backing away and winking.

You stood there for a moment, looking yourself at the ground and just exploding. At first, it was soft. "No." your voice quivered but it was just enough laud for him to hear it.

"Exams can wait. Homework? Bleh!" he brushed his hand, standing still.

"No, James." you shook your head, feeling your heart squeeze at the sound of your own realization. You looked up, a tear falling down your cheek and catching his attention.

"Wait- (y/n), darling." he started speaking softly, approaching you as if he cared.

He didn't! Get it to your head, (y/n)! HE DOESN'T CARE!

He reached for your hands and at first, you wanted to hold his hands but you shouldn't and so you hid them away from him.

"Why are you crying?" he asked. He asked as if it wasn't clear.

"Why am I crying?" you repeated his question, more tears, one after the other and each of them without your permission. "I can't do this anymore. I can't have sex with you and thinking it doesn't mean something to me when it does!"

He watched, his eyes falling into concern, pity maybe?

You scoffed, letting out a fake laugh and running both of your hands through your hair. "I won't do this anymore."

"Why not?!" he snapped, furrowing his eyebrows and glaring in disbelief.

"Because you're in love with someone else meanwhile you're shagging me!"

That snapped something inside him. Hurt? - No. James couldn't be hurt.

"We said- we put the rules! You, me, and no strings attached!"

"Yes, exactly." you leaned back, lowering your tone. "No strings attached." you rolled your eyes but tears keep falling and your whole face was soaked in the. "So why is it so hard for you to just agree with me if everything was no strings attached?"

"Because I need to know why? Did I do something wrong last night?? What did I-"

"Merlin, James!" you groaned from frustration. "I fell in love with you! And I kept this going because I thought you might love me back and today I came to the realization that you don't. So I am stopping this before it gets complicated."

"It's not complicated!" he started to panic, unaware of the reactions in his body.

"It is for me." you said. "I don't want to be like some girl you bang until you get your perfect girl. I want to be loved more than just in private. I want to share that love with the world." you started smiling to yourself. "It's okay, James." you spoke gently, calming his nerves as you always seemed to do. "I get it and I won't make it complicated, I swear. I won't try and get between you and Lily- you won't even see me. It was fun while it lasted." you shrugged, digging your hands into your pockets and walking by him. "See you around."

And James stood there. He stood there unable to know what had just happened.

It seemed selfish from his side but that's who he was. He told you that... And instead of getting all fiery and furious at him, you told him you just don't want to.

I mean, if you really were in love with him, wouldn't you want to use all the time you had with him before he gets Lily?

... He shook his head, smiling to himself.

It's over. You and him are over. At least he wasn' the one to break it. It's easy and simple, you won't complicate it.

He 's happy. He is.

It's all for the best anyway. The sex was great but that's all it was. Sex. He can focus solely on Lily now.

---

And he did. He focused solely on her- on the girl he has been chasing for quite a while now. And although he didn’t want to admit it, and pretended as if it wasn’t there- he could feel you missing.

Before and during your interraction, it wasn’t always physical. The two of you talked- well, more just plain, traditional talk. It was much more deeper than that. He told you everything, even the things he wasn’t aware he thought or felt. He told you all of his dreams, felt like he could tell you everything- every thought in his mind and you wouldn’t judge him.

You wouldn’t. It was so simple. You would listen to him talk about everything in his life, sometimes leaving a comment, laughing to the funny stories and the horrible jokes he cracked. The two of you told each other how your days went, which professor pissed you off, judging other people, studying...

It really was more than sex.

His favorite thing about you and him was the infuriating, fast debates about the things both of you disagreed about. The expression on your face would be so adorable when you defended your side of the debate. Your lips pursed themselves together, your chin would tense up as your eyebrows would draw themselves together.

He smiled to himself but the smile dropped when he would see you on the other side of the class, Great Hall or corridor. You would look at him but look away as well.

The two of you could still be friends even if he was with Lily?

Wouldn’t that be much simpler than the tension both of you feel now?

---

And like always, you were correct.

He dated her now. He would sling his arm over her shoulder and whisper something in her ear as he used to do it with you. His lips that once kissed you wholly were now pressed on her skin, his body next to hers.

She had him... and you didn’t.

That hurt. That hurt like hell and it wasn’t until three months you started to realize that you need to move on. Three long months of healing, trying to piece yourself together again. He broke you and he didn’t even care. You told him you loved him and for you, that was something heavy on your heart but for him, it was like a sweep under the rug.

So, it was time you brushed those tears and move on. It took you a few tries, falling back down and getting back up thinking it won’t hurt anymore.

But it did and at times it felt like you won’t ever be able to get over him.

You did though. You haven’t realized it until you saw him kissing her and it didn’t affect you as much as it used to. It was as if you were used to it already. It was something normal, something you saw every day, something... someone just moving on with their life and you’ve come to a realization, you could be that too.

And you were.

There was this boy in Hufflepuff. He was always your partner in most classes, asking you if he could copy your notes or that if you could help him with homework. Whenever he needed something for school, you were his person and you thought that for a long, long time.

You didn’t mind helping him. You knew he wasn’t serious for school, he told you that too many times. He just wasn’t serious. He was calm and relaxed, pretty much let life take care of it by itself. Whenever you were with him, you felt just the same. He made your worries go away, your body just go back into a calm state.

He reminded you that you could over-worry yourself, overthink, overstress and he was there to take all of that away. Put you on firm ground and explain to you that life is just simple, it’s your perspective that’s changing it.

He started opening up. Like a clam that was forever shut. It took you by surprise when he became so loose around you. For a long time, you wondered what he wanted from you because usually he did but all he wanted was to talk and you seemed to realize that he really was not the person you thought he was.

You talked with him every day. He told you about his thoughts, his days, and everything that was going on. To be honest, you loved listening to him because his mind was so much more expandable. He was a maniac for art and music, that was why he hated school so much. It restricted his creativity.

He was an artist that was why his silence was so pleasant. He’d sent you a letter that he is coming to your house, you’d wait for him on the sofa by the fireplace and he would come in his sweatpants and a hoodie, two different socks and completely messy dark hair. He would just sit down, both laughing and talking at first and then he would pull out his sketchbook and pencil and draw you. His eyes were like tropical water. It would be coral blue and if you looked closely there was such a gorgeous green colour. It didn’t change. Not even at night when the two of you would just be sitting or lying by the fire, you could still find his eyes so mesmerizing.

It didn’t take him long to tell you he liked you. It took the two of you two weeks before he would just blurt it out.

He drew you for the third time by then and he would turn it around, grinning. “What do you think?”

“What I always do. You’re incredibly talented and I look too damn good.” you started to tease but he only let out a chuckle and moved closer.

“You do.” he was now beside you, looking at you so deep into your eyes. “And did I tell you that you look beautiful today?” he tilted his head to the side, eyes still stuck on yours as a blush crept on your cheeks.

“I- uhm.” you smiled, looking away and letting out a soft giggle.  

“Why are you turning away?” he asked, clearly teasing you a bit.

“I don’t know.” you turned your head back and he was much closer than he was before.

His eyes flickered down to your lips and his tongue subconsciously licked both of his lips. “You don’t?” he started moving in as you nodded, smiling as his lips lazily approached yours. He licked your upper lip just to tease you at first, smiling as he pulled away and could see your lips pulling themselves in like a magnet. Your hands placed themselves under his jaw and behind his neck, kisses slow, lazy and a bit careless.

It drow you wild how slow he was and as he saw you rush in, he pulled away, grinning cheekily at you as he brushed his thumb over. “Why the rush?”

“Why the delay?” you quirked an eyebrow and he smirked, moving back in and kissing you much more deeply but still slow.

Though this time it didn’t drive you as wild as before when he only teased with his tongue, slipping in and out. Now kisses were full and whole, intimate and consuming. He would lay you down on your back and press his body against you, kissing your jawline with slow, gentle and wet kisses, leading down to your neck and causing you to let out heavy breaths. But his kisses were so addictive that those heavy breaths weren’t breaths anymore but moans and you weren’t patient enough. You wanted him. You tried to pull him back up, kiss him with all the fire he lit inside of you but when you did try, his eyes flickered with mischief and torment, making you realize you just got the devil. His one hand grabbed your hands and lifted them above you, another free one, unbuttoning your shirt and placing soft kisses on your bare skin.

One thing you did not expect was the Head Boy making his night rounds before bed. One, clear thing you did not expect was hazel eyes setting on the couple kissing and touching at the fireplace.

It was the way his hands touched your skin, gently at first and digging his fingers into you as if you were his. The quiet moans you let out weren’t meant to be for him- no not for the Hufflepuff.

All thoughts ran through his head like a train- a second only before the rage filled his body and he stormed over, tackling the boy off you.

It took you a while to realize what had happened but before you could, they were already fighting on the ground, one on top of the other and otherwise.

“THE HELL JAMES!!” you shouted, grabbing him by the arms with all your strength and pulling him off. “GET OFF HIM!” you shouted at him, trying to cover your bare breast with one hand as the other kept pushing him away from the Hufflepuff.

Luca, who was panting as much as the other boy was glaring but smirking as well as it seemed to provoke the Gryffindor. “Thought a Chaser would punch better than that.” he wiped the small amount of blood from his lips.

James wanted to go back at him but you pushed him yet again. “JAMES!” you glared at him. “What the hell?!”

“Yeah, (y/n)! What the hell?!!” he snapped at you as well, pointing his hand at the Hufflepuff. “Luca Oliveira?! Him?!”

“I don’t see how it’s any of your business?” you finally buttoned up the part that would cover your skin, taking a step back and closing to Luca.

You could feel his hand take a hold of you from behind and you gladly took it as he always did bring you comfort.

“This tosser?!”

“OI!” You felt Luca storm by you but you quickly pulled him back.

“Luca no!” you pulled him back, trying to calm him down and placing your hand on his chest, trying to catch his gaze. “Luca.” you put your hand on his cheek and brushed it lightly until his eyes looked at yours- from fire to admire. He smiled sweetly at you, putting his hand on top of yours. “Let me take care of him.”

“You won’t- I mean-” he started to panic but you quickly smiled and shook your head.

“Just go get a pack before it gets swollen.” you sent him away and barely left the room, shooting James an ugly glare.

When he left you turned back and tucked the ends of your shirts to your sides, making him scoff and roll eyes. “Oh, come on (y/n)! It’s not something I haven’t seen.”

“Yeah, well it’s something only me and Luca get to see from now on!”

“OH! Who do you think you are? Made of gold?”

“Might as well!”

“Don’t flatter yourself. You’re just one of many girls. There are others with much better bodies than you!”

“Well, then you won’t mind me covering my skin, would you?” you continued to button the shirt until you saw Luca’s hoodie over the armrest and threw it over you, only goading the boy in front of you.

“Cute.” he glanced at the sweater, turning it into an eye roll.

“You jealous?” you scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Jealous?! JEALOUS?!!” he continued to laugh in disbelief. “Why would I ever be jealous of him when I’m with Lily?!”

“I don’t know, James! Why would you ever attack Luca like that? Why would you tackle him on the ground and punch him?!” you started to get more furious, causing him to be silent as he contemplated. “You said it yourself. No strings attached-”

“Yeah well, you broke it first by falling in love!”

“And I told you I won’t complicate and stand between the amazing, hubba-bubba love you and Lily have. Did I attack Lily? No. Did it hurt? Yes but I sucked it up because that’s what maturity is! And when you clearly didn’t care half of shit for me I realized that I need to move on as you had clearly moved on with Lily!”

“Don’t say I didn’t care for you! I did!” he pointed his finger at you, growling and glaring at you.

“WHERE?!” you snapped, opening your arms and looking around. “Where did you care for me?! The sex part? That wasn’t caring- it was pleasure. What Luca gives me isn’t just pleasure, it’s love and I gotta say James I feel loved when I’m with him.”

“But do you love him?”

“I don’t know. Do you love Lily?” you stared at him and he stared back, the tension between the two of you building.

“I have to.”

“That’s not clear enough. Are you in love with her?”

“What do you mean?”

“Love isn’t an obligation, James.”

“WELL FINE! I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU!” he blurted all of a sudden, just as he did with you and his feelings he wasn’t aware until they were said. He stared at you for a while as you stared back into his eyes, feeling your whole world turn upside down.

You started backing away.  “No.” you said, your voice quivering.

“I guess I am in love with you.” he smiled to himself, finally feeling his heart function properly. “I am in love with you- I love you!” he beamed and ran to you, taking your hands into his. He wanted to kiss you but you just couldn’t do it.

“No, James!” you pushed him away again.

“What do you mean no? I love you. I finally know now-”

“NO!” you shouted, shaking your head and running your hands down your face. “You don’t get to realize it four months later and come running back to me as if I had waited for you. I moved on! I healed! I don’t want you anymore. You’re too late!”

And it felt like the heart that finally started beating died away.

“You can’t.”

“You’re with Lily.”

“I can break up with her.”

“I’m with Luca.”

“You can break up with him.”

“I’m not breaking up with him.” you watched him. “Don’t you get it, James. I’m moved on from you and I fell in love with another person. I fell in love with someone who isn’t afraid to show how much he loves me. He’s vocal about it, he holds my hand, he’s not afraid to tell me what he feels and I love that about him. He makes me feel amazing about myself and with you? With you, I felt like just someone there for you.”

“That’s not a bad thing.”

“Yes, it is! Because you were NEVER THERE FOR ME!” your voice cracked and your tears started to appear. “We talked about you! We did the whole sex deal to please you! We never once made a decision based on my needs! And I needed to be loved! I needed love. I needed support and someone to turn to.”

“You know you could always turn to me.”

“No.” you shook your head. “I don’t trust you anymore.”

“Please, (y/n).” he took your hands in his again. “Give me a second chance. I can prove it to you. I can love you. I can cherish you more than any man can. I can show you how much I love you-”

And to you, that felt like everything you wanted to hear from him... once. Once when you told him you were in love with him. Once when he looked at you but still chose to kiss her. Once in all those four months.

Not anymore.

“No.”

“I just realized! I didn’t know I loved-”

“No!” you shouted, ripping your hands away from him and crying. “You loved me?!” your voice continued to crack, barely letting out any sound. “Did you love me when you kissed her? Did you love me when you chose her over me? Did you love me when you saw me in the hall and decided to ignore me? Did you love me when you made love to her? When did you love me?”

“I DIDN’T KNOW!”

“Well, neither did I, James and that’s not my problem. Not anymore.” you started to pick up your stuff, turning him your back.

“You can’t do this? If you loved me, you wouldn’t turn your back on us so fast.”

“It took me months to get over you. Why would I want to get back to you when I have such an amazing guy waiting for me with a bruised lip?” you smiled as you thought of him. “Turning my back on us is the least thing I could do after what you did. You didn’t give us even a chance.”

“You don’t love him.” his voice quivered, his eyes tearing up. “Do you?” his voice was so weak by now that it sounded just like yours months ago.

You knew how much it hurt him but once you lose trust into someone, it’s hard to get back and you just couldn't’ go back when you’ve come this far.

“It’s too late, James. I just don’t want you anymore.” you shook your head and started backing away, seeing tears fall down his cheeks as you did.

It squeezed your heart to see him broken but you and James stopped existing a long time ago.

“Please.” you could hear his plea behind you, causing you to lose so much strength in your body, you could feel your legs go numb.

This was the hardest part, (y/n).

You looked over your shoulder to find him there standing in defeat and tears. “No.”

The hardest but finally the last.

[kareofbears]

plainly in truth, chapter 1/5

“Without you around, it's sorta like stuff is just kinda...bleh."

—

Or: hiding, confiding, and misguiding.

read on ao3 or below the cut :)

The sweat on the back of Ryuji’s neck is thick as he climbs the stairs to his apartment after a lengthy run.

It’s hot for spring, mild for summer, and now that it’s late June, it’s finally starting to teeter into real heat. He escalated slowly, gripping the guard rail like an old man to make sure his legs don’t give out, in no rush to head back to an empty apartment. His mom’s been doing back to back shifts, businesses booming like it does during this time of the year.

Normally, that would make him miserable. Nothing worse than hopping back from a day of fun shit only to come back to an empty living space with laundry piled to the nines and the TV left running. He doesn’t blame his mom because he’s not an asshole, but he never dealt well with being alone. But nowadays, he’s actually starting to like it. Crave it. Maybe a little too much.

It’s easier to deal with being alone than getting that sinking feeling he gets whenever he talks to his friends.

Shoving his hand in his basketball shorts, he pulls out his keys when something makes him pause. The plastic plant beside the entrance had been moved. Ryuji squints. Quietly, he grabs the knob and turns. It’s unlocked.

“Hey.”

Ryuji lets out a frustrated sigh, tension leaving his shoulders as he kicks the door closed. “Fucking hell. How’d you get in here?”

Seeing Ann sit primly with her legs crossed in a dining table that’s barely big enough to put two plates down evokes a feeling of nostalgia in him. She holds a key between her fingers idly. “Spare key hasn’t changed since we were thirteen.”

He walks to the fridge, pulls out a carton of milk and drinks it straight, ignoring her grimace. Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he offers it to her.

“Hard pass.”

“Suit yourself,” he shrugs, putting it back in the fridge. “I’m gonna shower. I think we might have some chips in the cupboards if you want some. Might be stale though.”

When Ann speaks again, her tone is flat. “You haven’t been hanging out with us. Or even talking to us.”

He tries not to let the annoyance show in his face too much. “Yeah, well, what part of ‘I need some alone time’ was confusing to you?”

Wood creaks, and he can feel her presence right behind him. “Cut the crap, Sakamoto. Something happened, I know it did. It’s not like you for your big mouth to be shut like this.”

Shaking his head, he strides to his room, praying that Ann will take the hint.

She doesn’t. “Okay, so I’ll just keep talking until something happens.” She leans against his door frame as he rummages for a change of clothes, listing off with her fingers. “It’s summer vacation, so it’s not a school thing. Phantom Thief stuff has been done for a while, so it’s not that either. I saw your mom last week, and she’s doing great. Congratulate her on the promotion for me, by the way. And the only other thing in your life that’s important is—” he hears her pause suddenly. “Are you and Akira doing okay?”

The sudden sharpness in her voice is enough to make his irritation ebb away for a second. “We’re fine,” he answers, pulling a probably clean shirt from the bottom of his drawer. He knows just how much she’s invested in their relationship. She’s pretty much a third member given how desperate she is to make them work. “I would’ve told you if we weren’t.”

“Thank god,” she breathes. “So what’s going on?”

“Nothing,” he rolls his eyes. “A big fat load of nothing with nothing sprinkled on top. You want me to say it again?”

“If it’s nothing, then why aren’t you over the moon that Akira’s finally visiting tomorrow?”

His stomach does a weird flop inside of him. He can’t tell if it’s a good flop or a bad one. “I’m over the moon,” he defends. “I’m crazy excited.”

“Then show it!”

“Okay! Damn, sorry I wasn’t happy enough for you.” Giving up on finding clean shorts, he picks one up from the floor and hopes it isn’t too gross. “I’m headed to the shower.” He rounds on her, giving her a glare. “And do not tell Akira that anything’s going on with me, ‘cause there isn’t anything going on. You’re just gonna make him worry for no reason and he’s gonna be all—” he frowns, overexaggerated. “—About this, so cool it.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. He won’t hear about it from me.” Ann gives him a long stare, and he refuses to look away. “You sure you’re okay?” she asks, softer this time.

“Never been better. Now scram.”

“Good. See you tomorrow, and don’t be late!” she calls as she marches through his apartment, foot out the door. “Noon! Leblanc!”

“I got it!” he yells back.

When the lock clicks back into place, Ryuji leans his back against the wall, letting his eyes slide shut. Is he that obvious that Ann would notice? He rubs his eyes with palms, frustrated. If Ann noticed, Akira’s definitely going to notice, and that isn’t allowed. He’ll just have to do better.

Going into the bathroom, flicking on the shower, he realizes he forgot his towel in his bedroom. Stupid Ann, distracting him.

Padding back to his room, he nabs it from the side of his bed, refusing to look at the letter collecting dust on his desk as he flicks the light off once more.

—

Akira came home to a face-full of streamers, two pots of curry, and six arms tackling him. Smiles and hugs were passed like a bottle of wine after a war has been won, and Akira shrugs it all off like he isn’t soaking up each and every exclamation of how much they miss him for a rainy day. Morgana gets his fair amount of head scratches, Akira gets enough noogies to warrant a concussion, and even Ryuji somehow manages to forget his problems for approximately three minutes.

It’s evening now, and while everyone had already left (not after slamming down two plates each and Yusuke brazenly asking for tupperware after the fact), Ryuji decided to linger.

“So,” he starts, sleeves rolled up as he washes the dishes while Akira dries. It might not look like it, but he doesn’t mind doing his chores; especially not with the way they both purposefully knock their knuckles against each other whenever they pass a plate between themselves.

“So,” Akira repeats. “I’m home. That’s cool, huh?” Even with eighteen layers of nonchalance layered on top of each other, there’s no hiding the lilt in his voice.

“Pretty damn cool,” he rinses a mug and hands it to him. Ryuji pauses as he watches Akira dry, lip quirked up. “I like seeing you like this.”

“Cleaning?”

“No, you bastard.” He reaches forward, unable to help himself as he pinches his cheek. “Smiley.”

Akira slaps his hand away. “I’m always happy,” he says, voice fond.

“I didn’t say happy, now did I? I said—” Ryuji wipes both hands on his jeans before pinching his cheek with both hands. “Smiley!”

He doesn’t fight back this time; instead, he lets Ryuji knead his face. “Your hands are wet,” he complains, slightly slurred.

“Suck it up.” His skin is mesmerizingly soft. Probably softer than even a girl’s. He would hold him like this all night if he’d let him. “This saves you from washing your face tonight, so you’re welcome.”

With one last tug, he reluctantly sets him free. Akira’s face is red and blotchy from the assault, but somehow he pulls it off because of course he does. “Thanks,” he deadpans.

“Don’t sweat it, dude. You know I got you,” he laughs, and for a second, he feels good. Light. Being with Akira does that to him, a pendant that wards off all evil. The pendant must’ve had some fine print in the contract though, because his stomach drops again when he remembers again. Ryuji turns around and starts scrubbing the pan harder than he needs to. Chill out, chill out, chill out.

Arms encircle his waist. “Sojiro’s gonna smite us if we don’t finish these before he opens tomorrow,” Ryuji says.

“I know.” A chin hooks around his shoulder blade, sliding in place. A perfect fit. “We’ll get to it.”

Ryuji leans back, far enough to smell the shampoo in his hair. He breathes in deep. It’s not what he’s used to, probably different brands in his hometown, but it still smells nice.

With the water still running, a group of businessmen’s laughter booming from just outside the cafe, Ryuji nearly says it. To take that weight off of his weakened knees and share some of the burden with someone who’s never complained about carrying some of his baggage. It would be embarrassing, humiliating, fucking mortifying, but it would be better than this, right?

He opens his mouth. “Missed you,” is what comes out instead.

“Missed you more, I think.” A beat passes, and then Akira continues, quietly: “You don’t know how good it feels to be back.”

That was all it took. The final piece, the last lock. The words he needed to convince him that this was the right thing to do. If he was on the fence of whether or not to tell Akira, this was the tug that took him over the edge. Because Akira came here for one reason: to have fun. To feel good again. To feel like Akira again. Is Ryuji really going to be the one to shit all over that? To fuck up his summer vacation with his problems again?

Yeah. Fuck that.

He wishes he can pull Akira impossibly closer. “Welcome home.”

It can wait until he leaves. After that, the world will just have to explode, taking him with it.

—

Ryuji’s in bed that night, tossing and turning, blanket tangled in his legs and head underneath his pillow, when he finally caves.

Smacking around for his phone, he pulls it to his face, squinting against the bright light.

SR: futaba

The response was immediate.

SF: what SR: that was fast. whatre you doing up SF: im always up. why are YOU up SR: just wanted to talk SF: ok

He waits a few moments to see if she’d continue the conversation. She doesn’t.

SR: hows school? SF: ?????? who cares, its three am SR: i care SF: ugh, go to sleep. we’re meeting tomorrow anyway SR: yeah but you dont talk about school during group meetings much SF: alright weirdo SF: schools cool. people mostly leave me alone, and i think akira must’ve tipped off kawakami cause she is wayyyy too nice to me even after bullying her in front of the class SR: what did you do lmfao SF: she said that whoever could recite pi to ten decimal points can get a bonus ten percent in the final SF: and i kept going until the bell rang SR: damn! SF: its mostly okay though. better than i thought it’d be for sure SR: and how about actual school stuff SR: like classes. Math, science, english, all that shit. SF: sheesh, easiest part no doubt. could do all that stuff in my sleep SR: really? even though youre a year behind? SF: uh yeah? i could be eight years behind and still dunk on these clowns with one hand tied behind my back and watching a live stream

Ah, right. Futaba’s a literal genius. As in ‘Make A Documentary Of Her In Twenty Years In A Movie He’d Never Watch But Makoto Would Love’ kind of genius. He forgot.

SR: nice SR: thanks, im gonna sleep now SF: kk see you SF: (¯﹃¯)

—

“Okay, this is getting a little ridiculous,” Ryuji says when he opens the door to his apartment.

Ann is sitting in his dining chair once again, this time donned in hot pink shades and a comically big sun hat. He tries not to let annoyance and panic flare inside him. He loves her, because of course he does, but he was banking on stocking up some energy and alone time before they hit the road. Maybe even shed a couple of frustrated tears, who knows? As long as he’s alone, it’s fair game.

“Hey, don’t give me any of that,” Ann says. “You and packing your luggage is like mayonnaise and my flawless complexion—it’s not good, buster. Remember Hawaii?”

He feels his skin heat up, and slams the door harder than he should. “How the hell was I supposed to know I’d get randomly checked? ‘Sides, I didn’t do anything illegal.”

“A backpack filled with condoms and a toothbrush might as well have been illegal.” Ann reaches into her pocket, whipping out a wrinkled piece of paper. “You can’t pull that kinda crap now, and if I know him as well as I do, I’m sure Akira’s already packing for that.” She laughs at her own joke and raises her hand enthusiastically. He can’t help but grin as he high fives her. Hey, even if his life is falling apart, at least he’s still getting some, right?

“So I’m here to help,” she continues, shaking the sting from her palms. “I finished packing a day early and everything, so I better get some thanks after this.” Before he can complain, she holds up a finger, expression stern. “I know you don’t need help. Yes, I’m still worried about you. Yes, I’m doing this because I’m worried about you. Let me do this stupid little thing, okay? It’ll make me feel better.”

His stomach churns, more intense than usual. “You’re still worried about me?” he asks, breath hitching. What? No. Did he fail at that too? Does she know? That must mean Akira knows, right? And if Akira knows, then—

“Whoa, hold on!” A hand grips his shoulders. “Deep breaths, Sakamoto. Don’t spiral on me now.” Gently, he’s led to a chair. He sits gratefully and waits for his heart rate to drop. The entire time, Ann stays quiet.

Eventually, when the room stops closing in on him, he sighs and leans back against his chair. “Sorry,” he says, feeling really stupid. Damn, what happened to him keeping this on the down low?

She slaps his knee. “Shut up, don’t apologize for that,” she scolds, and he almost smiles. It’s easy to forget how good Ann is at this sort of thing. For better or for worse, she’s had plenty of practice while talking to Shiho. The grip on his knee tightens. “Ryuji…”

He shakes his head. “No.”

And, for better or for worse, she absolutely does not let things go.

“Look, buddy.” The grip is starting to hurt, and it means business if her red acrylics are anything to go by. “I just saw you have a teensy little panic attack two damn minutes ago, and you’re expecting me to just leave you to it? Are you a clown? Are you a clown in a circus, Sakamoto? Is that what you are?”

“I just don’t want to fucking talk about it.” He shoves her hand off his knee, and before he knows it, his voice is raised. “Christ, can’t you just leave me alone? All you do is get up in my business when I clearly didn’t ask you to. Just cause we did this whole Phantom Thief crap together doesn’t mean it gives you the right to everything going on in my life.”

He loathes the ringing in his ears from his own voice. He hates it when he yells in the apartment, but hates the silence that follows more. Too much like his dad, too much like his exhausted mom.

Ann is staring up at him, hard and unwavering. “You’re such a piece of shit sometimes.”

“Huh?”

“If you want me off your tail, you’re gonna have to work harder than that.” She gets on her feet, glaring at him. “‘Piss me off and make me leave in tears’ was your tactic, right? Boring. Overdone. Try again.”

The way she’s standing, shoulders pushed back and chin jutted out like she’s ready for a shoot in some kind of army magazine, means she’s dead serious.

“Ann, just get the fuck out of my house. You’re really starting to get on my nerves.”

“Ooo, classic 'angry and make me storm off’, right? Better, but not good enough.”

“What the hell are you even saying?”

“I’m saying that you could say whatever pops into your bleached head—” she flicks his forehead, viciously sharp nails digging into his skin. “And I wouldn’t go anywhere. You could call me names, or threaten me, or try to hurt me, but I am not going anywhere.”

Her eyes are bright blue, but he can still feel the heat of it like Carmen was inches in front of him. His throat quivers when he swallows. She’s really not going to give in.

“My knee’s been real bad lately,” he relents, making a fist and lightly knocking it against his thigh. “Normally it acts up during bad weather, but the sun hasn’t left in weeks and it still sucks. I didn’t wanna tell anyone, ‘cause I hate talking about…” he trails off, but she doesn’t need him to continue. They both know damn well who he’s referencing.

Ann’s face crumbles. “That’s horrible,” she says, absently rubbing the red mark on his forehead. “I’m sorry I was mean.”

He waves it off, the same way he does whenever his mom asks him if he’s getting enough sleep. “Don’t sweat it. I know how crazy you get.”

It’s a real testament to how worried she must’ve been when she didn't take the olive branch. “I know you probably don’t want to worry the group, but you should tell Akira.”

“Ann—” he starts wearily.

“You know I’m right about this. Now that the Metaverse is back and we’re going to be running around more, he can’t not know about this. Your boyfriend aside, he’s our leader. Something really nasty can happen if we’re not thinking straight.”

“...Sure.”

Ann gives him a weird look. “That was surprisingly easy. I thought you’d complain more.”

She’s getting way too sharp. “What, you wanted me to be a dick about it?”

“I guess not.” Leaning against his kitchen counter, she chews her lip like it’s bubble gum. “Can I do anything to help?”

“Yeah.” Ryuji stands to stretch, ready for this conversation to be over. “You can keep this between us—”

“—Except for Akira,” they say in unison, Ryuji exasperated and Ann insistent.

“Fine. I’ll back off if you think you have it under control.”

“Hallelujah, she’s finally giving me space.”

“But,” her gaze is harder than steel. “Never, ever keep secrets from me again, got it?”

Ryuji rolls his eyes. “Gotcha. Can we get started now? I’m over talking about my horrible past so that we can finally have a straight-out-of-an-anime summer vacation.”

Her eyes brighten up. “Yes! Okay, I made this huge list and I know for a fact we’re gonna have to go for a quick shopping trip—”

“Quick? So, like, three hours going by your standards?”

“Don’t interrupt me. We need to pack some swim trunks, toiletries, and I know you’re worried about your mom so we’ll go grocery shopping for her before we leave in the morning.” Feet tapping excitedly, “This is gonna be so fun. You start packing, I’ll go shopping. Rendezvous in an hour.”

Before he even gets a chance to put a word in, she’s already out the door.

—

Later that night, when everything is messily thrown into one oversized backpack and a rucksack and the fridge is chock full of groceries for his overworked mother, he gets a text.

TA: i know you said not to bring it up but i dont care TA: i searched it up and apparently cold and hot compresses can help with the pain on your knee TA: also getting shoes with really good support would help too. i modeled for some shoe brands, i can def get you some discounts!!! TA: like, i know this is all base level stuff and you know this already, but i bet you we can ask sophia for more help. maybe she can access top secret doctor stuff for knee injuries?? :O

Ryuji stares at his phone for a long moment, before shoving it under his pillow.

Great. Add ‘guilt’ and ‘keeping up with a lie’ to the list of shit he has to worry about.

—

“A lake!” Yusuke cries, kneeling in front of the body of water like a man discovering a desert oasis. Gently, he cups the clean water and cradles it against his cheek. “You are nothing like the garbage-infested sewers in Tokyo. You are crystal clear. You are divine. You are salvation. You are—”

“Akira, Inari’s being a weirdo again,” Futaba points an accusing finger at Yusuke, who’s shirt is slowly absorbing more and more of the water. “At this rate, he’s gonna have to change.”

Makoto grunts as she lugs out the grill singlehandedly, a loud clang ringing out when she nonchalantly sets down a family-sized piece of machinery. “Alright, here it is.” She catches the look of awe that Ryuji’s giving her. “Does it still shock you that I can probably bench press you twice over?”

“I’m just trying to figure out where you’re hiding all that muscle, prez,” he snorts, and it’s the truth. Her and Akira must be the same breed, considering they’re both way too lithe to be this strong. He’s seen the way they throw a punch in the Metaverse—they could probably disintegrate a dude in real life if they really wanted to. Like yeah they workout, but not that much. Maybe they’re dieting too? He’s tried dieting, but ramen is just way too good, even at the expense of muscles.

“Ryuji, when you’re done spacing out, can you grab the ingredients?” Akira calls out.

“Ugh, cut the mind reading dude, it scares the hell out of me.”

He shoots him a signature Kurusu Akira smile; small yet disarming all the same, and it never fails to get Ryuji’s heart to do weird flips. “It’s not mind reading once you realize that I’m just obsessed with you.”

Instead of answering, Ryuji grumbles as he stalks off into the RV. Damn him and his genuine words and compliments.

He pulls out their luggage from underneath the table. Akira doesn’t need to say what ingredients he needs to grab—he’s helped out enough times during Leblanc’s afterhours to know the curry spices by heart. Ryuji might be a failure, but hey, he can do this no problem.

Grabbing bottles and shakers and balancing them on top of his arms like an overworked waiter, he glances left and feels his heart dropped. The envelope from his room—dust-free from rubbing against the rest of his luggage—is sticking out of his backpack. After a quick adjustment, he uses his free hand to shove it deep in his bag, hearing the paper crinkle in on itself.

It was a spur of the moment decision to bring it along with him, one that he’s still half-regretting. Why’d he do it? Maybe he was worried that he might enjoy this trip a little too much? Maybe he was some kind of masochist that likes having his problems and anxiety follow him literally everywhere he goes? Maybe he was scared to hell and back that his mom would find it before he had a chance to tell her himself? Fuck if he knows.

Poking his head out of the door, he yells, “Heads up!”

Throwing a bottle of black pepper, Akira catches it without looking. “Thanks.”

“Don’t sweat it.”

“Too late, I already sweat a little bit.”

Ryuji squints. “It’s sweated. Right, Ann?”

“Don’t look at me. I went to America for modelling, not a spelling bee.”

“I won all my spelling bees in middle school,” Makoto says, chest puffed out in pride.

“Were you the only one who joined?”

“That’s not important.”

Akira’s phone beeps enthusiastically, and Sophia’s voice rings out. “Got it! According to the internet, ‘sweat’ and ‘sweated’ are both grammatically valid. Technically, both Ryuji and Ann are correct.”

“Can we all just shut up for a second about sweating, for the love of god,” Futaba fans her face weakly. “It’s already sooooo hot. I feel like my skin is melting. Yusuke, is my skin melting?”

He looks at her for a moment, peering closely. “Yes.”

“How about we go in for a quick dip in the lake?” Haru offers, and Ryuji suspects that she can feel the same energy that he’s feeling when the group gets like this. “We were all talking about how beautiful it was, and it would cool down Futaba-chan no problem.”

She leans down, swirling her hand in the water. “It’s a little chilly, but it’ll definitely take care of the heat.”

“Good idea!” Futaba jumps up and throws off her shoes, ready to march in. “This is gonna feel so good.”

“Socks!” Akira reminds her.

“I know that!”

Haru and Yusuke follow suit, eager to get away from the heat, Makoto going in to change to shorts. Ryuji guesses it’s probably not an easy feat to roll up leather pants. Probably makes it either to ride motorcycles, or whatever people with leather pants do.

He feels a poke in his side. “You hopping in with them?” Akira asks.

No. The answer is already at the tip of his tongue, ready to roll out. Given how cramped the RV is, keeping up the trademark Sakamoto energy while lugging more baggage than an airport employee is brutal. It’s barely been a day since they started the trip, and he’s not sure how much longer he can keep this up. Already his chest feels heavy with something, and whenever all the windows are rolled up, it gets weirdly hard to breathe. But if he says no, Akira would definitely know something was up.

“Uh—”

“Actually, I think we’ll take over the curry for you,” Ann cuts in.

Ryuji turns to her, startled and wide eyed.

“Why?” Akira asks, just as confused as he is. They both know how much Ann loves being in the middle of things, especially in group hangouts.

“Because you look like you could use a break. I know for a fact that you had to pack Yusuke’s stuff for him, or else the van would’ve had fifteen canvases and an easel, and you had to grocery shop for everyone, and talk Haru out of a guilty spiral because she wasn’t confident enough in her driving. And all this before—” Ann looks down at her wrist to peer at a non-existent watch. “Five o’clock.

He frowns. “Sure, but I’ve done twice as much during our prime. This,” he gestures at the pot. “Is a walk in the park. Thank you, though.”

Ann sighs, heavy and contemplative. “I didn’t want to say it out right, but since you’re being difficult…” She places a hand on his shoulder. “You should hang out with Futaba more. Being gone from her for that long has been rough, and yes, we took care of her while you weren’t there, but you’re different.” Her hand tightens. “You know, Wild Card and all that.”

“That’s not what that means, but I appreciate the effort,” Akira says. Despite his words, it’s clear that what she said bothered him. Eyes flickering to Futaba, enthusiastically kicking the water to see how far the droplets would go, he directs his gaze to Ryuji. “Is it okay if…?”

Ryuji rolls his eyes, pretending like relief isn’t crashing through his body. “Go.”

Akira kisses his cheek. “Thank you.” When he pulls away, he gives Ann a hesitant look.

She grimaces. “Thanks, but no. Go hangout with the gremlin.”

He gives her a salute and saunters off, rolling up his jeans to wade through the water, making sure to splash Futaba on the way there.

After a moment of silence, he sighs. “Fine, I’ll say it. Your acting classes are actually doing you some good.”

“Ha!” she points at him triumphantly. “And you said it’d be a waste of time!”

“I didn’t say that.” Ryuji slouches into a nearby camping chair, the one that Sojiro forced them to lug along, hoping that some of his fatigue would seep away. “We both know that Futaba’s never been better, so what’s up? Why’d you throw out Akira like that?”

“It’s not for me, stupid,” she scoffs, but he can’t help but feel the weight in his chest get even heavier. He sinks even deeper into his chair. “The water was cold, right? That would make your knee even worse.”

“Yeah,” he blinks, having already forgotten the whole fucked-up knee story. “Thanks.”

“I won’t chew you out for not telling Akira, even though I should. But like I said,” she ruffles his hair. “I got your back. I know it must be hard, but you’re still acting all normal. We’re lucky that it’s only affecting you in the real world, too.” She had come up with that one herself, and thank god she did, cause he wouldn’t have known what to say if she had confronted him on how he could easily do flips and sprints in the Metaverse. “That just takes a lot of guts, and even though I know for a fact this would make you feel so much better once you tell him, I trust that you know what you need better than me.”

“Quit trying to look all cool,” he says, and prays to fucking god that the red on his face comes off as embarrassed gratitude rather than earth-shattering guilt. “And aren’t you supposed to be cooking, curry master?”

“Hey, he asked you to do it, not me. I’ll help you get the ingredients, but no way I’m doing the whole cooking shebang.”

“Ugh, fine,” he says, as if he doesn’t secretly love the idea of getting to cook for Akira this time instead of the other way around. Pushing himself up, Ann reaches out to help him. “You don’t gotta baby me, Takamaki.”

“I’ll baby you for as long as I need to, and then eventually Akira will be the one babying you. We come in shifts.”

“I hope you’re unionized.”

Makoto pokes her head out of the RV, wearing a showercap. “Did someone say unionized?”

“What the hell?” Ryuji staggers back in shock. Crap. “How long have you been there?”

“And why are you wearing that?” Ann gasps.

“Not long, and I don’t want my hair getting wet in case I fall in. We have no idea what’s been in here.”

“Were you going to fall in a bathtub?”

“Did you want me to push you in?”

“No, ma’am.”

—

There wasn’t a problem initially. Well, not one in Palaces, anyway. Wait, they’re called Jails now, which is really confusing. Ryuji’s just gonna have to avoid using those words so he doesn’t make himself look like an idiot.

Back in Shibuya, it had been...fine. Attacks landed, punches were dodged, Batons passed like his life depended on it (and it did). Like clockwork, instinct came to him and the weird nostalgic normalcy of fighting Shadows made it bearable.

Ryuji was off his game, and he could tell.

But he was barely off his game. If anything, he still had a foot on his game. Maybe even an entire leg on the game if he was being generous. He was still enough on the game that even Akira doesn’t notice.

But the weird part was, he doesn’t mind the fact that he’s off his game. In an even weirder way, he’s never been more on his game in his entire life.

“There!” Futaba’s voice crackles through the comms. “Uncle is open wide!”

“Her name is Ante, Oracle,” Makoto responds, brass knuckles jammed into the throat of some poor Shadow. “It’s open, but it’s vicious.”

Ryuji calls for Kidd just as she pulls away, wiping out the rest of the weaker ones with ease. “This thing’s like a goddamn mousetrap.” Ante’s serpent body slithering on the cool tiles so fluidly that it gives him the creeps. Her tail has tiny spikes etched into it, like mini knives hot glued onto a tetherball. The minute any of them even come close, she strikes outwards. “How vicious is vicious?”

“Depends on how fast you are.”

Akira’s head jerks up, and when their eyes meet, cracks a smile. “Fast, you say?”

Ryuji grins wider than he has in days. Joker relying on him? How can someone not feel a little giddy at that? “Say no more, leader.”

He stretches quickly, and feels eyes piercing the back of his head. Ann, probably. Shrugging it off, he sprints low towards Ante. As long as Ann doesn’t say a word, there won’t be a problem.

She’s taken hits from where Akira’s been concentrating on her. A mixture of bullet holes in its scales mixed in with cross slashes from where his bless attacks hit had left her delirious and pissed off. When he’s close, she bares her fangs and strikes, only for him to skid on the smooth tiles, rugged hands touching his mask.

“Come on out, Captain!”

His blond hair ruffled from Kidd’s attack, a crack of lightning came down from his Persona’s mangled hand, and a split second later her tail had been sliced clean through. And another crack comes, her neck landing on the tiles with a muffled thud. An attack that should’ve just been enough to incapacitate Ante had instead completely decapitated her.

A beat of silence passed as everyone processed what had happened. Ryuji’s mouth drops open, but he can’t muster any surprise.

He doesn’t know how, or why, but for some reason his attacks have been at least five times as strong as they had been back before the Metaverse was still intact. Moves that he didn’t even know are on the tip of his tongue, as if he had practiced them all his life. Normally this would only happen after rigorous training for months, adding up in tiny increments.

Now it happens every day.

“Well, looks like someone woke up on the right side of the gym today,” Futaba laughs awkwardly.

“What on earth was that, Skull?” Haru asks, eyes wide. “I had never seen you do something like that.”

Morgana’s tail swished. “She makes a good point. When’d you learn that one?”

“I don’t know.” He calls back Captain Kidd, eyeing the drop that Ante had left behind, but doesn’t move forward to snatch it up. “But whatever the reason is, it’s awesome as hell. I mean, did you see that? Sliced that thing open like a stuffed bear.”

“Let’s not bring stuffed animals into this, please,” Makoto frowns.

Akira’s giving him a look again, and it leaves Ryuji unsettled. “What is it, dude? I got something on my face?”

“No,” he steps closer, and his voice drops. “Are you alright?”

“Am I alright? I’ve never been better, man.” He flashes him a grin, hoping that it’s bright enough to distract Akira’s ever-searching eyes. “Come on, let’s get moving. Natsume’s heart isn’t gonna change itself.”

After one last glance, he nods, and Ryuji can see the minute Calculating Joker comes back. “You heard him. Let’s get moving, everyone.”

They all follow him up the stairs, eager to get moving past the eternally bleary and uncreatively written setting of Natsume’s Jail.

“Psst!” Ryuji hisses at Ann, who turns to him with a question in her eyes. “Panther! Get your ass over here!”

“What?” she whispers back.

He rubs the back of his neck. “I fucked up my knee when I rushed her, and I still haven’t told Joker, so do you mind…?”

An expected look of disapproval emerges from her expression, and Ryuji hurries to beat her to the punch. “I know, I know! But I can’t tell him in the middle of all this, now can I?”

“Fine,” she grumbles before calling Carmen. “I’ll cover you for now, but only ‘cause I’m a good friend and I’m super cute.”

“Yeah, the cutest, prettiest, whatever.” He glances over to Akira, swooping down to grab Ante’s drops before heading up. “Quick, before he looks back.”

Diarama washes over him, and even though relief floods through his body, he can feel a bead of sweat running down his temple. He’s not sure if it’s from her inherent heat or from the stress of lying to her again.

“Better?” Ann asks.

“Way better. Thanks.” He catches Sophia looking at them curiously. “The kid’s watching us. You better move ahead before she starts analyzing our personality types or something.”

Her eyes light up. “You think she’d do it if I asked? I really wanna know.”

“Just go!”

Ann hurries to catch up to Sophia, and while she’s distracted, Ryuji gently rolls up sleeves—he had gotten nicked by Ante as he slid. Normally that wouldn’t have been a problem; he had gotten thrown through walls, been hit by mini hurricanes, been blown up by a boat, and walked away from all that still swinging.

Yet lately, any tiny, fractional, miniscule injury is enough to shoot unbearable pain throughout his entire body. It’s as if he was back in Kamoshida’s Palace, where every punch thrown at him had been life or death.

Glancing down at his forearm, he sighs. The cut was gone, but he can’t keep asking Ann to heal him in secret every time.

“Skull?”

Hurriedly pulling down his sleeve, he glances up to see Akira standing in front of him.

“Everyone’s waiting for you,” he says casually, as if those words don’t mean the entire goddamn world to Ryuji. “You ready to go?”

“Yeah,” he answers, shaking his head. “My bad. Let’s go.”

They clambered up the staircase, and Ryuji decides that all of that stuff—getting injured and having it hurt like hell—just isn’t too important.

That just means that he’ll be fine as long as he doesn't get hit, and he’s had plenty of experience dodging punches that were thrown at him before.

—

“Cheers!”

All of them raise their red plastic cups, clinking it against each other in a way that they see adults do all the time on TV. Apple juice and iced tea slosh as they gulp it down eagerly, excitement so prevalent that they can hardly taste the cheap, convenience store-esque quality of their drink.

“This isn’t too bad,” Makoto muses, leaning against the faux-leather seats of the RV. “Though it would probably taste better if it wasn’t room temperature.”

“Does it look like this place has a mini fridge?” Futaba says, legs swinging down from her top bunk. “That’s a good idea though. I should’ve bought mine from home. Can you imagine we’re halfway through a six hour road trip and you want iced coffee and boom! Two feet behind you is Futaba’s Ice Cold Cafe, one hundred yen per use.”

“I hope you’d be ready to sleep on it, because this place is cramped enough as is,” Akira slaps the wall a few times, the way a rancher would a sturdy horse. “We’re lucky with what we have.”

“I know that! Without this thing we never would have been able to conquer Natsume’s Jail.” She reaches down to muss Yusuke’s hair. “I’m sure Inari feels good about that.”

He smiles, hair sticking up in all directions. “Of course I feel satisfied. Though I understand his struggle, being able to stop a fellow artist into becoming a true monster is always something that will bring me joy. Justice will never stop feeling good.”

“Cheers to that!” Ann raises her drink. “And you know what? This wouldn’t have been possible had Ryuji not kicked some major ass in that Jail.”

The group whoops and hoots loudly, and Ryuji can’t help but scoff when Ann winks at him. “Aw guys, you’re making me blush. I’m fucking awesome, sure, but we’re all pretty amazing.”

Haru shakes her head. “She’s right, Ryuji-kun. WIthout you, defeating dragon Natsume would’ve been much more difficult.”

“Even I can admit that you’ve gotten much stronger, Skull.” Morgana leaps onto the table, licking up the bowl of apple juice that Haru had left him. It feels wrong to let an animal drink that, but he’d never say anything about it. “Have you been training?”

Ryuji shrugs. “Yeah, a little.”

“Ooo, look at Mr. Humble all of a sudden,” Futaba jeers.

“I’m always humble!”

Ann grimaces. “I don’t think so. Remember when you finally got Akira to go on a date with you—”

“How dare you. He was begging me to go on a date with him—”

“And you wouldn’t stop telling us about how you had nabbed the coolest guy in Tokyo—”

Ryuji nearly jumps over the booth to put a hand on her mouth. “Quit yammering, Takamaki, I’m begging you.” He feels something slimy on his hand, and pulls back quickly. “Ew, did you lick me?! That’s so effing gross.”

“You’re gross.”

He feels a hand on the small of his back, warm and familiar. “I don’t think you’re gross, Ryuji,” Akira says. “I think you’re very clean.”

A harmonic beep rings through the air. “Sorry to interrupt,” Sophia’s clear voice cuts in. “But Akira, you got an email.”

“Thanks Sophie.” He points to where his phone is perched on the windowsill, propped up so she can see them celebrate their victory. “Can you…?”

Ryuji wordlessly passes it to him as everyone breaks off into smaller conversations, chatter blending into each other until it sounds like the kind of white noise he would queue up when he’s desperate to get some studying done. Immediately, Akira begins scanning through his phone, gray eyes focused.

He props his head against his shoulder to read alongside him and makes a noise of interest. “You signed up for cram school?” he asks, surprised.

“I did,” he replies, thumbing through the details of his admission.

Ryuji stares at him. “But you’re so fucking smart. Why are you paying who knows what to learn shit you already know?”

“Because Tokyo U barely cracks a 30% admission rate, and chemistry is hell incarnate.” With one last few clicks, he sets his phone down with a wince. “Sure is expensive though. We might have to reform the heart of someone in the education committee.” When he continues to stare at him wordlessly, Akira turns to him. “Don’t worry, I’m still leeching off of the Thieves' money from last year, so it’s not too bad when you take into account my part-time back home.”

“No, that’s not—I’m just—” he shakes his head and forces himself to start over. “Since when did you decide on Tokyo University?”

It’s Akira's turn to look taken aback. “What do you mean? You’d never leave Tokyo, especially if it meant leaving your mom.”

“That’s not the point. The point is I’m making you choose between me and your hometown!” he exclaims, but he already knows in his heart what Akira’s choice is going to be. It’s stupidly obvious. For some reason, the longer this conversation goes on, the tighter his chest feels.

The feeling doubles when Akira’s eyes, always focused and always sharp, subdued at his words. “Are you really comparing yourself to that place? You know I’d choose you over anything.” He reaches forward and combs through Ryuji’s hair, hushed and gentle in a way that only Akira can manage. “I’m so excited to live life with you again.”

The white noise, so comfortable before, abruptly turns overwhelmingly loud—grating and unbearable and painful to be around. Ryuji stands abruptly, barely reacting to Futaba’s yelp when he backs into her.

“Hey! What gives?”

“I…” his eyes dart around, flinching when he accidentally makes eye contact with Akira, and again when he locks eyes with Ann.

The sudden silence from the group is somehow worse than the noise from before, and if the tightness in his chest gets any more painful, his lungs are gonna burst into a million pieces and he’s not gonna be able to pick it all up from the ground if everyone’s watching.

“Trash,” he blurts out.

“What?” Makoto blinks, glancing up from her map.

“This place is disgusting and it’s way too cluttered and it’s bad to leave such a big mess so I’m gonna—” Ryuji grabs the plastic bag filled with garbage, haphazardly tossing empty cans and plastic cups into it. “I’ll be back. Don’t wait up.”

Before they can question him, he’s already out of the RV, towing trash and leaving his friends behind him.

—

“What the fuck was that?!” Ryuji screams into the sky.

He was far enough from the trailer that he knew they couldn’t hear him even if they had strained their ears, and it was late enough into the night that even the tourists weren’t poking around to look at the shrines or the Great Masamune himself.

“Keep it a secret’, my ass! That was the second dumbest thing—no, the third dumbest thing you’ve ever done in your entire life. Do you know how high that threshold is, Sakamoto? High! Higher than you can see with your own two eyes! Higher than Yaldabaoth’s goddamn crane-sized spine!”

Swooping down, he grabs a fistful of pebbles and throws it as hard as he can. “You are so selfish! What happened to keeping ‘Kira happy, you effing asshole?” Relishing in how far it went, he takes another two more. “You are so annoying. You are—” he throws, the rocks landing with a little plink. “Insufferable. Stupid. Selfish. A fucking—” this time, he doesn’t even know where it lands. “Gah!”

Turning on his heel, he glares up at the statue and grits his teeth when he sees Masamune’s stoic expression. “Don’t give me that look—you’re dead. You ain’t got nothing to complain about. Everyone’s remembering you as the guy who saved Japan, or whatever. But guess what? You’re probably a loser. A dumb, stupid loser who convinced everyone that you’re good for something when you’re worth jack shit!”

Before he can stop himself, he takes the garbage bag full of cans, glass bottles, and crumpled chip bags and hurls it at Masamune. It hits the base of the statue, far below damaging the One-Eyed Dragon himself, but the glass cracks under the force of being thrown, tearing through the plastic and causing trash and shards to explode all over the steps. Ryuji’s chest is heaving as he stares down at what he’s done.

“Impressive.”

He whirls around at the voice behind him, stomach lurching straight to the ground when he sees who it was. “In his years of war, I doubt that anyone’s ever tried throwing waste in his direction in order to defeat him.”

“Yusuke,” he breathes, feeling his frustration draining away to make room for even more guilt, if that was even possible. Ryuji cannot possibly look any more of an asshole than he does right now—tearing his throat raw in a public space, surrounded by the garbage he had thrown at a national monument in front of a guy who clearly worships and respects art that’s old as hell. “Sorry, I’ll clean it up, I promise. I was just…” he hesitates. “Talking to myself.”

Yusuke hums, unconvinced, and carefully approaches the mess in front of him. Ryuji waves him off. “No, don’t. Broken glass is a bitch, especially the little pieces. If that gets in your skin, it’s game over. You’d have to go into the hospital for sure.” He grimaces. “Trust me. My dad used to throw beer bottles at our place like he was in a ball game, and that ain’t fun, I promise you that.”

“I see.” Turning around, Ryuji hoped that he was magically going to head back to the group and not mention this to anyone there, but instead Yusuke stopped in front of a water fountain. “You’re right. If you’re not careful, it could be very easy to hurt yourself when dealing with broken glass.” Pulling out a handkerchief from his breast pocket in a way that only Yusuke can, he soaks it in water before crouching down at the shards glimmering under moonlight. “But if you use wet fabric to dab it on the shards itself—” he pats the concrete and flips the fabric over, revealing the moist and glistening pieces stuck on its side. “You can clean up the pieces with little to no danger.”

“Huh.” After a moment, he realizes that he’s making Yusuke do the dirty work for him. “Pass me that. Thanks for the tip, but I can take it from here. I mean,” he rubs the back of his neck. “It’s totally my fault that the glass is here anyway.”

He doesn’t look up from his task, eyes focused and movement meticulous. “No need. If you’d like to help, you can start picking up the non-dangerous litter around us.”

Ryuji does as he’s told, wincing as he has to pick up sticky, pop-soaked wrappers with his bare hands but he doesn’t complain. Karmic retribution has never held back against him. “The glass thing,” he starts, squatting down and picking up empty cans and plastic utensils with curry remnants still stuck to them. “They teach you that in Kosei?”

“No, from one of Madarame’s past pupils actually.” Yusuke shifts over to dab at another glass-covered section, concrete looking clearer with every pat. “Sensei had a rather violent habit of hurling canvases at the wall if they do not meet his standards, and his actions had led to many of our more fragile belongings being shattered when he did.” His tone doesn’t change, but Ryuji can see his shoulders tighten. “At least it allowed me to move away from that house very quickly, considering I had very little to pack away.”

Ryuji opens his mouth to comfort him. Instead, he finds himself speaking in a low tone. “Glad that bastard is rotting in jail,” he resists the urge to spit on the ground. “Then afterwards, I hope he rots in hell, just to really cover all of our bases.”

That pulls a chuckle out of Yusuke. “Thank you,” he smiles, and all Ryuji can do is nod. There isn’t much you can say after that without making it weird. But how weirder can it possibly get when the two of you are off towing around someone’s perception of the world on a daily basis?

They continue to work in silence; the wind is gentle, but it’s enough to rustle the leaves and allow Ryuji to feel some relief from the summer heat. He’s picking up wet paper tissues, and it’s gross, but it’s nice to be doing something with his hands.

He’s just about done his part of the clean-up when he can’t take it anymore. “Aren’t you gonna ask?”

“No,” Yusuke answers without looking up. That’s another thing that Ryuji really appreciates about him—playing dumb has never been something that he’s done to get out of an awkward situation. To be fair though, Yusuke himself is an awkward situation.

“Why not?”

“Did you want me to?”

That question makes him pause, and Yusuke doesn’t wait for an answer. “You’ve always been the most vocal in the group, and while many a time it has been our downfall in terms of secrecy, I have always considered it one of your strong points. And if you, Sakamoto Ryuji, are indeed struggling with using your words,” Yusuke’s eyes turn to him. “Then it must be very difficult to talk about.”

A beat passes. “No,” Ryuji mutters. “I don’t want you to ask.”

“Then I won’t,” he says easily. “But I do have a question.”

“Lay it on me.”

Yusuke shuffles to crouch down next to him, and it’s kinda weird seeing someone as elegant as him pose like some kind of hoodlum. “Does Akira know about your struggle?”

His mind flashes back to the confused look back in the RV and he scratches his neck roughly. “I bet he does now.”

Yusuke leans back, shocked. “He doesn’t know?”

“I’m getting there! Don’t pressure me, man. You said it yourself, I’m fucking struggling.”

“Well, yes, I did say that, but it’s Akira,” he says the name almost reverently. “I’d be surprised if he doesn’t sense that something is askew.”

“I just said that, didn’t I? Goddamn, you and Ann are just two of the same peas in the same freaking pond, aren’t you?”

“It’s ‘pod’, Ryuji,” he corrects. “Ann is aware?”

“She—” Ugh, how does he explain that she thinks she knows, but really he had lied about what he told her? “She basically knows.” And because his fat mouth just keeps getting fatter, “She’s sort of part of the problem.”

Yusuke’s eyes widen and Ryuji hurries to cover up for his mistake. “She’s not a problem, it’s just that I didn’t explain…It’s really my fault, and how I deal with internal shit, you know what I’m saying? And Ann’s just kind of in the crossfire, so what ended up happening is when I talk to her about what I’m feeling, I end up just feeling worse.” He winces. First he lies to her and now he’s shit-talking her? “I did not say that. What I really mean is that, uh, feelings...and actions...are complicated,” he finishes weakly.

“I see,” he says finally.

It seems that even Yusuke has a threshold for uncomfortable moments, because he rises to his feet. “Thank you for sharing all of that with me.”

“Uh, yeah, for sure. Thanks for the glass trick.”

“No need to mention it. It’s much easier to clean up a mess when you have someone helping you.” He points vaguely behind himself, “Would you like to head back together? I’m sure by now the festivities are winding down, and the trash you were so keen on disposing of has definitely been thrown away.”

Ryuji blanches. It grossed him out that he forgot he was holding an armful of garbage in his hand. “You go ahead. I just need to,” he rocks his arms, almost cradling the wet garbage. “Throw this out.”

“Very well. I’ll see you when you get back, then.”

He waves at him, and Ryuji wiggles in response (unless he wants it all hitting the ground and restarting that whole process again, which, no thanks.) After dumping it all into a nearby trash can, the process of which lasts several minutes since he still had to sort out the recycling, he feels a buzz in his pocket.

KA: come back when you can KA: i miss you

He takes a shaky breath.

SR: on my way

[unfortunatelysirius]

UNEXPECTED | Regulus Black, Marauders Era

「 ❁ 」PROMPT 「 ❁ 」

Request // Regulus finds something unexpected—at a Slug Club dinner party, with a girl named Y/N L/N.

「 ❁ 」AUTHOR’S NOTE 「 ❁ 」

Sorry if this sucked.

        LOVE.

                Even the word itself felt like a promise. It could come like a metaphor, as gentle as misted rain, or it was a broken idea, radiating animosity that maimed worse than misplaced surgical lesions. Some folks went their entire lives without knowing it, feeling it, getting the chance to embrace and relish it—while others did indeed get a taste only for it to scorch like too-hot coffee. A funny little thing, love was. As scary as it was delightful.

        Regulus Black didn’t know much about love. He only knew bleak sun—and a yearning that churned his stomach like butter. If he let his thoughts wander off too far, they’d explore territory too disturbingly foreign he’d have no choice but to retreat. His parents taught him discipline and obedience, but “love” was a rare occurrence; truthfully, the only person who ever even had an inkling of understanding for it was his brother Sirius, and the bastard left Regulus to bleed under the ripe moon. He knew what hatred felt like, same with spite, same with betrayal, same with repulsion.

        Then he descended on the path weary travelers couldn’t cross.

        It all started at the start of his fifth year, getting worse from there. He began noticing the Gryffindor who never stopped challenging professors and requested an extension on nearly every Charms essay. Who always wore an untidy uniform with the shirt untucked, cloak rumpled, and two different stockings. Who could be more quiet than a fairy’s whisper but the loudest personality in the room. Who once punched Giovanni Rivera, some snob in Hufflepuff, so hard in the nose he stayed slumped unconscious by a knight in the open dungeon corridor for an entire night.

        He noticed you.

        It was entirely accidental. Regulus was not someone to dive head-first, always treading the shallow end before walking into riptides that couldn’t be foreseen. He was caution in a world of chaos. He didn’t want to know the definition of “love,” even though he thought that was what he felt for Sirius. Brotherly love. The love someone had for another that protected them, provided for them in times of need. Then Sirius was labelled the family disgrace, shunned by Orion and Walburga; the perfect little Slytherin son, Regulus shunned him too. Regulus lost that feeling and failed to find it again, even in his circle of friends that mocked tainted blood and wanted more than meager lives. They aspired for a Wizarding World cleansed of impure magic; Regulus wasn’t sure what he wanted.

        He quickly became lonely. As the days turned to months then years, he preoccupied himself with his studies—working diligently to fabricate a living lie like he had any future outside of the Dark Lord’s bidding. He envied Sirius for breaking from the family so soon, forcing Regulus into a compromised position; their parents scrutinized him more carefully now and expected more than he would have had to provide if Sirius was the pride-and-joy firstborn they could have turned into a great ally, rather than an adversary.  Regulus hated it, hated that whatever he liked and the little joys he had in life were useless now that he had one reason to live. There was little to his life except growing up to be part of the Dark Lord’s army. Regardless of anything, he did know what he hoped for. The only thing that truly, truly belonged to him was his hope. It was different from his aspirations, as even those were polluted by conditioned hate.

        He watched you frequently. He watched you curse his own brother, Sirius, for calling you a suck-up. He admired your appearance, from your Y/H/L Y/H/C hair to your facial structure, the effortless way you stood and walked, the kindness in your expression when guiding none-the-wiser first years. You were the same year as him, fifth year, and an entire breed of your own. Regulus didn’t know when he began falling for you. Well, the idea of you. You encompassed freedom, and fuck if Regulus didn’t crave freedom. He wanted to see himself careless, able to act out and be himself inconsequentially. This was an impossibility he loved to consider, like a dreamer in a room of realists. His parents expected the most out of him and in his crystal ball, all that laid in wait was the Dark Mark etched in his skin. Death and destruction. His head dark and heavy. It wasn’t happiness that killers strived for—it was pleasure. Power, too. Regulus knew he was different from the others. He had to hide it and fight every inch of himself that wanted what Sirius had. Freedom.

        Regulus wanted to unleash every idea, every desire, every unspoken dislike. A brave heart scratched from under his skin, itching to have a say.

        Sirius was the courageous one, not him.

        He stuck to watching from afar.

-

        You hated Potions class. You hated parties. You hated Slughorn. Most of all, you hated Slug Club parties. Dammit, you hated your life.

        “Why did you drag me here, Lily?” you complained for the umpteenth time, fidgeting in your Gryffindor-red attire. You didn’t even like this shade of red. It was one of those colors you got tired of after seeing at every waking hour. All the assholes that prided themselves in the House the Sorting Hat bellowed, uniquely chosen for them… bleh! Dawning red and gold, parading around in Gryffindor scarfs bought for a bargain. You couldn’t be bothered. Lily had begged that the two of you go in a matching set, as one of your good friends. You never envisioned yourself agreeing. Fucking Lily, conniving you into wearing a dress like looked like it was sewn from a red Christmas stocking and attending a Slug Club party.

        Lily smiled innocently. “You owed me a favor!”

        A favor. You wracked your brain for any situation you’d been a part of where Lily offered her help. As your honorary big sister and a sixth-year prefect, she was the one calling for damage control whenever you did something warranting of punishment… and you didn’t want to fulfill your duties as a serious student. She chastised you at your worst but boosted you up too. Your best consisted of her praise and affection. You loved her, yes, but you didn’t love what owing her favors implied. It always wound you up in some unlikable predicament, such as this godforsaken party.

        “I don’t owe you shite,” you grumbled, pinning your eyes on a table of refreshments over by the door. You belatedly noticed a figure standing by it. The air went still and silent, your blood pulsating like a gushing river of red. Your eyes narrowed just the slightest bit. Regulus Black was sharply—no, impeccably dressed, standing with his glossy dark hair in a neat do and his gray eyes watching the floor indifferently. When he got too close to looking at you, you quickly turned away. Lily was already raising a brow. “What? I don’t.”

        “Yeah, okay,” Lily said amusedly. As she reopened her mouth to remind you of your every last unreturned favor and escaped week of detention, she spotted something over your head and a look of horror struck; you gauged this by the way her eyes bulged at the sockets. “Oh, Merlin—why the bloody Hell is he here? I’ll talk to you later, Y/N. Try to have some fun.”

        She retreated like a squirrel from a hound, her body launching at the occupied Slughorn over half a room away. As she was nearly there a bulk dressed in black dress robes followed, at a tame pace compared to Lily’s. You knew it was James only by the unruly mess of black hair you saw from his enrobed backside profile.

        You rolled your eyes and snuck another glance at Regulus. He wasn’t looking your way.

Try to have some fun, my arse.

-

You were here. Regulus didn’t know how, but you were. He hadn’t calculated what he’d do if you attended this party, not knowing you were a member. He assumed you weren’t, a rash assumption by all accounts, and that costed him. He didn’t want to be dogged by the thought of you all night, and now that your presence was mere feet from him, his mental duties seemed like lost causes. The burning urge to stare at you, consequences be damned, was incinerating—and control failed him left and right. Fucking hell.

Regulus filled a drink for himself. A punch of some kind. He drank it in one go, hoping the taste would eliminate you from his mind. If it were bad enough he could instead be hounded by his throbbing throat, gagging like no tomorrow. That would be better than this.

The punch didn’t work its magic. He looked again at you and calculated the inevitable penalty of making an approach.

        Cursing his luck or lack thereof, he felt less inclined to drown himself in the punch bowl upon the appearance of a bloke he had in Potions, Terrence something. He was a Ravenclaw know-it-all, but he was Pureblood. He could go overlooked conversing with the fellow. Regulus was a master of mimicry and had his haughty Slytherin performance down pat.

        The bloke asked too many questions and was evasive on topics Regulus had no interest in discoursing, but he was a well-welcomed distraction. Or ill-welcomed. Regardless of the reception, Regulus’s ambivalence towards you transitioned to an annoyance towards Terrence. Annoyance, that he could work with. He felt it most days. It was familiar territory. A stroke of olive on a canvas of emerald where you were lavender.

        It worked. It worked until Terrence bid a hasty farewell, trailing after some quiet, expressionless brunette from Slytherin.

        Regulus subtly scowled. Out of the corner of his eye he looked at you, surreptitious in a way he remembered from parties he went to hosted by well-known Pureblood families. You were in mid-conversation with some Gryffindor he knew from a mutual class the three of you shared. It was a bloke whose mouth seemed too keen on keeping a conversation going and hand was swaying too closely to your waist. Regulus’s eyes hardened without his meaning to, and before he knew it, his feet were in complete control; he walked to the two of you with renewed purpose.

-

        You were ready to unleash your inner ugly. Random people kept coming up and trying to talk to you, each of them more mentally-taxing than the last. First there was Cornelius, an absolute walking disaster, then there was Dave, who went on tangents without checking to see if you were listening. Then Kala, then Paisley, then Travis. Finally, there was Justin. Justin was a compulsive flirt. You politely tried to get him to fuck off, but he just wasn’t catching the hint or acknowledging your blatant apathy in what he had to say. He wouldn’t understand discomfort on the part of his conversational partner if it slapped him in the face.

        It was like a blessing and a nightmare when Regulus Black, wearing a cold expression and marginally more perfect up close than he was from a distance, appeared.

        “Can I borrow you for a moment, L/N?” he asked, something off about his voice. Your eyes narrowed. If you had to garner a guess, you’d say he was straining to maintain a calm disposition, truly angry. The cold in his expression was cracking, giving way to heat. Had he noticed your wandering eye and wanted to clarify with you that he had no interest except to exterminate your muddy self from the Wizarding World? You were unsure; it was a common ideology among extremists, the hatred of non-Purebloods, but Regulus didn’t give off that ambiance. He didn’t feel like a future monster.

        “Sure,” you said, sneaking a glance at Justin. Justin’s face wasn’t aggravated at the interruption, just confused that Regulus Black had been the one to interrupt. Regulus kept to himself usually… and he hated anyone who wasn’t pure of blood, supposedly. “Sorry to cut this chat short, Justin. I’m sure there’s plenty of other birds to talk into a stupor around here…”

        Justin’s eyes lit up, disregarding the annoyance in your voice. “You’re right! Thanks, Y/N.”

        You raised your eyebrows at him but bit back a less subtle remark, following Regulus when his hand prompted you at the shoulder.

        “So, what was that back there?” you boldly asked, trying to avoid smirking. It was almost adorable, the way he swooped in and rescued you from a dolt. He couldn’t have approached you just to chastise your invasive stare or threaten you with death. You were taking a chance in assuming he came to save you the burden of dealing with Justin Doley’s bland chatter, but you didn’t care. You really didn’t. It was a sweet gesture if that were his true intention, but a niggling suspicion refused to believe it was. “Thank you, by the way. I was ready to lock my knees just so I could escape.”

        Regulus’s face blanched, a tinge of hot pink flooding his cheeks. His brows made a cute little furrow that gave the impression of a natural unibrow. “Why would you lock your knees?”

        “When you lock your knees, the blood stops circulating and can lead to fainting,” you said. Now you smirked. “Trying to avoid an answer? I’m hurt.”

        He frowned at you. “I’m not trying to avoid anything. It was nothing. You looked uncomfortable…”

        “I was more annoyed than anything,” you said, a correction you weren’t obligated to make. Seeing Regulus squirm was a pleasure on its own. He would already squirm, caught willingly communicating with a Gryffindor, but you had a tendency to go over and beyond in putting others on the spot. It made you a childish shade of giddy both inside and out, not that he would be able to tell. “You don’t have to keep talking to me, you know.”

        “Oh,” Regulus said but didn’t move. He stayed rooted where he was, watching you with a piercing gaze. Now that you were close enough to reach a finger across the distance and graze those gaunt, knife-sharp cheekbones, you ogled him. You knew he was gorgeous from the brief times you interacted and the long, solitary moments you took to dissect him outside lessons, but being so close and with no time limit, you took a chance. Your chance was a rescue mission disguised as a private discussion.

        A smile tore at your lips. “You clean up nice,” you said, your ogling session finished. You could stare at Regulus much longer than you deemed appropriate and actually did, but he was a moment and moments had the ability to pass you swiftly by. In this case, he’d leave without you getting to properly know him. Opportunistic as you were, you wouldn’t let him leave without taking what you could.

        Why would you even want to know him? you asked yourself. He’s probably a Muggleborn-hater. The heart wanted what the heart wanted, try as you might to logicize.

        Regulus frowned. “Thanks,” he said. He hesitantly snaked his eyes up and down your figure, stopping on your neckline. A beautiful necklace with your favorite gemstone adorned it, a gift from a Muggle relative. He cleared his throat aggressively. “You do too.”

        He’s a shy bugger, isn’t he?

        You inched closer, moving on a whim and putting your hand on his arm. Your fingers tightened around the material of his sleeve. He drew closer, like it was instinctive, and your eyelids fluttered as you basked in his perfumed, intimate proximity. You’d regret advancing on a Slytherin, especially one as admired and esteemed yet dark and dangerous as Regulus, but he just had this air about him. Like going from an altitude that took your breath away to one that had enough air to burst you at the seams. Like a butterfly with clipped wings, a scorpion without its stinger. He was tempting, but beautifully broken.

        I know. I just know.

        “When you came over, I thought you were going to confront me on how I haven’t kept my eyes off you all night,” you murmured. You met his gaze evenly, ignoring your pounding heart and fluctuating nerves.

        Regulus froze immediately. “What?”

        “Oh, did you not notice? Silly me,” you said, flaPping a hand like it never mattered in the first place. Truth was, your thoughts were frozen and fixated on his ignorance—ignorance you had just given a reality check. There had been no point, absolutely no hidden objective, in admitting your inability to overlook Regulus. Yet you had—and now he was staring at you like you had turned the color orange and horns magically sprouted from your head.

        Then, like a switch went off that had full control over Regulus’s emotions and the way he expressed them, he smirked. It wasn’t a full smirk, just apparent enough you noticed it. All the tension contorting his face flattened, leaving him like he was relaxed, the opposite of how he looked mere seconds ago. Always the skeptic, you stared at him with narrowed eyes, scrutinizing him from head to toe. He didn’t lose the smirk, his arms crossing over his sleek robes in a devil-may-care fashion.

        “Presumptuous of you to think I ever notice you in the first place,” he said, in that pompous voice you were used to hearing from Sirius’s favorite Slytherin, Severus Snape.

        You laughed at his audacity and, hearing the music change tone and tempo, reached out a hand. You forgot your wit and lost all possible responses to give his arrogant retort. “Dance with me, Black,” you said softly, “before your brother comes to ruin my night, like the prick he is.”

        Regulus raised his eyebrows, but he didn’t deny you. He interlaced his fingers into yours and his free arm, moving at whim and ease, came quickly to your side, enveloping your waist in a delicate embrace. A formal embrace that bespoke of the distance between you, the invisible rift. The dance he swept you in was unfamiliar, but it was simple enough that you could match his pace without tumbling over your own feet.

        You felt everyone staring, but nothing mattered more to you than the feeling of his hand on your waist and the deep, unreadable waters of his foggy gray eyes. He was an enigma that swept coast to coast, tainting the sand with his attendance but leaving wild imaginations to run rampant wondering why he was there, what he did, who he was. Everyone knew of him, but no one knew him. You couldn’t deny you also didn’t know him. Really, you knew nothing about him except that he was a Slytherin in your year, the younger brother to Gryffindor’s infamous playboy, and a supposed Pureblood extremist. You were curious, though, and wanted to know all the dismissive facts that made up his mind and crafted a mental narrative even you found ambiguous. He had consciousness, and there was no way in Merlin’s sodding Hell he was a host to someone else’s thoughts, opinions, and interests the way so many other future killers seemed. Every now and then he showed you something unusual—a mannerism individual to him, words you recoiled back at hearing from his mouth. After he smirked at you and accepted your demand to dance, you lost yourself in the shock of his dismal composure cracking at the folds.

        You never really believed in love.

-

        Regulus never really believed in love.

-

        But if you wandered too far into the bittersweet fantasy of happy endings…

-

        Regulus could get lost.

-

        The song changed again; slow and calm it became. Pressing your cheek to Regulus’s chest, you let the soft fabric of his dress robes sway you into an admittedly false sense of security. The hawk eyes following your every move disappeared with every cyclic step Regulus took. You were hypersensitive to his heartbeat now. It pounded against your cheek like a drumstick, a vibrato of epic proportions. You felt delirious with delight, yet a piece of you was stuck to the path your half-conscious feet made through the slow dance. It’s like you left a trail, and you’d have to pick up the pieces once Regulus became sick of your pathetic antics.

        “Are you asleep?” he asked amusedly, his chest vibrating against you. It rattled you enough to awaken some semblance of nerves.

        “No,” you said, shaking yourself out of the daze. You pulled back from him, bridging enough space to look him in his eyes. He had beautiful eyes a silly girl like you could get lost in. Any girl really. They were pools of fog made of spring mornings and forest hues. You just wanted to kiss his eyelids. What a strange desire, but you felt it all the same…

        Regulus blinked and you were drawn back in the moment. He had said something.

        You hummed in question, your eyebrows raising.

        He shook his head, his face flattening until it was expressionless. “I have to go,” he said. You knew what lies looked like. He was a good liar, but you were a better observer. “I have a matter to discuss with Slughorn.”

        You laughed. “That’s too bad,” you said, voice coming out like a purr. Your hand rose until it settled on his chest; your fingers curled around his robe, until fabric was fisted and cupped into a swirl. “We could have had some fun.”

        “No,” Regulus said firmly. Almost too firmly. His hand jerked up to meet yours and his larger fingers interlaced yours, tugging in an attempt to prompt your release. Your refused to let go. “Y/N.”

        “I like it when you talk all authoritative,” you said teasingly.

        His face blanched and it was enough of a shock to make him lose all incentive to fight the good fight. You took this chance and drew him in, his feet stumbling in a clumsy attempt to regain balance. “Y/N, I—”

        “What are you so afraid of?”

-

        Regulus was afraid of a lot of things. He was afraid of what his parents would do if they figured out he didn’t despise tainted blood the way he was raised to. He was afraid of his peers shunning and scorning him for being caught dead with a Half-blood. He was afraid of losing himself in the moment just to sate his deadened hope and watching you get killed in the crossfire of his foolish, self-indulgent mistakes. He was afraid of many things.

        He would never dare utter those fears aloud.

-

        You watched the conflict flit across his face, erasing itself seconds after.

        “What?” you innocently asked, noting that he had gone stiff. You were unaware to how deep his issues ran. You knew from Sirius’s running mouth that Pureblood households were devoid of tender moments and affectionate caresses. You wanted to imagine an alternative for them, but Sirius was a hellish hailstorm when honest; his feelings were subjective, but his experience was likely to ring alarmingly true. Regulus was quiet and allowed things to fester, so no one would ever know how he felt.

        He looked at you now, a lock where his mouth was. No key in sight. His eyes were piercing and unquestionably inscrutable.

-

        He had to leave before he lost control of his mouth. He couldn’t afford to involve you in his mess. He was a hurricane and you were summer rains. He would destroy you.

-

        “I have somewhere to be,” Regulus said, no room left for an argument. His arms disappeared from around your waist and he tore his eyes away, like it was physically painful to do so.

        You grabbed his wrist before he could melt into the dancing crowd. “Regulus, wait,” you said. You hated the way you sounded. You didn’t know him, but you felt strongly anyway, like he mattered more to you than was plausible for a girl and boy from two separate worlds. You couldn’t explain why you cared; you just did. He hid himself under the pretense of a rich, spoiled Pureblood who stood above the rest. He was hypnotically beautiful and bathed in greens and silvers. He was brilliant in ways Gryffindor House could only aspire to be.

        Regulus didn’t respond to your plea. He stared at you, waiting briefly to hear what you had to say.

        You didn’t have anything to say. You had something to express—and words weren’t always the best at expression.

        You reached up to his face and palmed his cheeks, finding little skin and mostly bone. His cheekbones jerked underneath your grip. His eyes went slightly wide, like he disbelieved you had taken physical initiative with him. Your fingers didn’t dig or tear at his skin, nor did you impulsively decide that you had him in your grip and now was the time to hurt him. You didn’t want to hurt him. You wanted to show him that he didn’t have to be risk-aversive; he could fall clumsily into risk with you and the two of you would make it work. As long as he felt this bizarre, unnatural connection same as you did.

        You’d find out.

        You pressed yourself flush against him and drew your lips until you were a breath away. Then you kissed him.

        The room and its occupants disintegrated, leaving only Regulus and you. Regulus dissolved into putty. His arms went around you again, one of them circling your waist entirely and a hand gripping your hip tight like letting you go would mean you never came back. His lips were soft if slightly chapped, moving against yours like they belonged there; there was no hesitation, no anxious energy. Regulus had lost himself in the moment, same as you. He wasn’t a Pureblood and you weren’t some Half-blood Gryffindor who had spent half the night pinning after a Slytherin who would keel over dead before wanting you. Regulus was different, and you hadn’t failed to sense it.

-

        Regulus abruptly remembered his place and pulled from you. Your eyes were still fluttered shut, and it took several seconds before you noticed he was no longer wrestling with your lips.

        You stared. Regulus wiped all emotion from his face, refusing to let you know he wanted a second kiss. You were not a good deceiver and every emotion you felt showed on your face, from confusion to lust to apprehension.

        “That should not have happened,” Regulus murmured, glancing around. There were people staring; even some of your Gryffindor friends, like Lily Evans and Marlene Mckinnon, were aghast, eyeing the two of you like you had just committed a murder.

        “Why?” you said confrontationally. “Did you regret it?”

        Regulus glanced at you but didn’t say a word.

        You could feel your heart plummet to your gut. “Yeah, okay,” you said, shaking your head. You knew he was being dishonest, but that didn’t stop you from feeling hurt at his blatant favoring of his reputation over a chance at this… this relationship. You jerked out of his slackened grip.

      You fought tears as you walked away.

-

        Regulus watched you go.

        He knew what it felt like when towers crumbled and empires fell, as it happened frequently. His life fell apart more than it came together. He missed you the moment you left but he knew this was for the better. That kiss had meant more than Regulus would ever admit. He felt the connection and he knew there was a future that would happen if he allowed it, if he chose not to intervene. He was the inhibitor of a lot of good things, but he would rather see himself drown than another person swallow their breath underwater.

        So he stared at your retreating back, wishing things were different.

[daddystevee]

The Only Exception

(Steve Harrington x reader)

Bleh i feel like this has potential but like i feel like i absolutely butchered it.. :( but i redeemed myself in the end i think. Heh were gonna pretend that Paramore was a thing in the 80s because why the fuck not. This fic was written with the help of tiktok aus and The Only Exception by paramore heh.

Wordcount: 2.5k

Warnings: a few curse words, a small panic attack situation, mention of a gun, and lots of angst spelling and bad grammar??

Summary: an AU in which everyone has a soulmate, on your 20th birthday a number pops up on your wrist telling you how far away you are from them. Reader has a hard time with love and believing in good things associated with love.

><

Soulmates are a tricky thing. Growing up you were told that soulmates are supposed to be someone that just gets you. A connection of minds, a mutual respect, an unconditional love and a total understanding. It was about being yourself and knowing, not only that person is following and understanding your thoughts, but is right there with you, side by side. 

But in reality, soulmates were determined by a couple of numbers that would pop on your wrists, telling you how far apart the two of you were on your 20th birthday. You weren’t sure who came up with the idea, but you hoped they realized how dumb it was. Sometimes there were people who really wouldn’t ever find their other half.

When you were younger, you never really realized how much your parents would argue. But what you did notice was that your mom and dad’s numbers on their wrists weren’t at 0 or at least in the lower single digits, your moms was 358 and your dads was 690. Meaning that they weren’t really soulmates, just two people who put up with each other's bullshit for no reason. Making you believe that you didn’t necessarily need your soulmate to be “happy”.

As you got older, you started to see the major flaws in your parents relationship. Your parents were constantly yelling at each other for no reason. Everything changed the day your father pulled a gun on both you and your mother. After that, your mother packed up everything the two of you had and ran, as far away as she could with your father constantly knowing how far away you were. 

From that day forward, you vowed to never let your guard down. Never letting yourself fall in love and to forever believe that no matter what number popped up on your wrist, soulmates didn’t exist.

><

After running from your biological father for what seemed like years, the two of you ended up in a boring little town called Hawkins, Indiana. Where you would start your life over for the first time at the age of 12. Over the next 5 years you would learn that Hawkins was not a boring town because at the beginning of your junior year of high school, at 17 years old you would get sucked into this dark place that looked just like home, but it wasn’t.

You somehow survive, running from a scary creature that would open its face and eat anything in its path. No matter what you did, it seemed like you could never run away from this thing. You would experience this insane encounter alongside a 12 year old, who you would learn is named Will Byers. After what felt like months you would finally be rescued. 

You would eventually go back to school to finish out your junior year of high school, but not without making friends with Will and a bunch of other 12 year olds. Along with the kids came automatic friendships with the older siblings as well, including Steve.

A year after your first experience with the Upside Down everything was fine and normal, you thought that it was all over. Boy were you wrong, Will started to have these visions of the alternate universe the two of you had been trapped in.

You were fine but knew this creature and that world better than anyone else, so as much as you really didn’t want to, you opted to help out as much as you could staying close to the other kids and really just making sure that they were safe. They were your family after all. 

As the battle went on you grew closer to Steve Harrington, learning to call him your best friend. He was the only one who you knew well enough and could get you to open up and let your guard down a little bit, but you had to tough it out because you made a promise to yourself and you had to keep it. You couldn’t take that risk. The boy had some sort of soft spot in your heart and you refused to believe it and would never let anyone know about it.

><

May 29th, 1985 was a sad day for everyone, it was the day you would be moving away from everything you had. All of the kids, Nancy, Jonathan, and your best friend Steve. Steve, the boy who you had grown up beside, the boy you fought inter-dimensional monsters with.

You were driving across the country to go to the University of Southern California. Saying that this wasn’t an easy choice would be a lie. You knew exactly what you were doing, running away from your fears, that was all you knew how to do but you knew that if you didn’t leave now you would never get out of there. You always have to put your safety and mental health first, and that’s exactly what you were doing.

“Promise you’ll call every day?” Steve asks you, pulling you into a hug. 

“Only if you promise to answer.” you say with a sad laugh, you never planned on ever calling home.

>< 

Here you were, in Los Angeles, California. 2,105 miles away from home. An entire year later and you still hadn’t called home, if that's what you would even call it. You refused to associate yourself with that place ever again and had completely wiped that section of your life from your memories. A voice in the back of your mind was constantly calling you back, but you always ignored it.You were starting your life completely over for the second time, at 19 years old, in California. You lived in a two bedroom apartment with your new best friend and her ‘soulmate’. While you were happy for them, you couldn’t help but be jealous of their happiness.

><

It was your 20th birthday, and you had no plan on looking to see how far your soulmate was from you. You didn’t care, all soulmate’s were shit and ‘happily ever after’s’ didn’t actually exist. You planned on just getting drunk with your friend and forgetting about life for a night.

“So I was thinking we could go to a karaoke bar tonight? How does that sound?” your best friend Logan asked you walking out of her and her boyfriend’s shared room

“I mean I suck at singing but-”

“Yeah, but being drunk makes everyone a great singer” 

“I guess so. Just us right?” you asked, while Logan and her boyfriend were cute you honestly hated third wheeling it always made you feel some sort of way. Jealous maybe?

“Of course! Now let's get you ready! You never know you might just bump into someone special” she says wiggling her eyebrows.

“Yeah, not gonna happen” you say unamused, rolling your eyes while walking off to your room to get ready.

><

“Come on Y/N, you’ve gotta sing at least one song while we're here.” your best friend slurred while pulling you along behind her, obviously too drunk for her own good. You ended up not drinking as much as you had planned, but the two of you had to get home somehow.

“I’m not drunk enough, you might be but I am most certainly...” but before you could object anymore she had already chosen a song and shoved a microphone in your hand pushing you onto the stage. “.. what the fuck? I don’t even know what song this is?”

“Yes you do! I hear you singing it in your room all hours of the night..” she says stumbling off into the crowd. 

The beginning chords to the song start to play over the speakers and you know exactly what song it is. You looked down at the microphone in your hand and refused to look up at the audience, yet the words came out of your mouth naturally, as easy as breathing. No one truly knew your story, except one person. That person was Steve Harrington. The one who always brought butterflies to your stomach even though you told yourself that this was wrong. 

“Maybe I know, somewhere deep in my soul, that love never lasts.”

You had beat yourself up over it for months, you refused to let him get in the way. You were never going to be happy, that was just how this worked. 

“But you are, the only exception”

Maybe there were exceptions in the world and you just weren’t lucky enough to believe in that shit. 

“You are, the only exception”

Something in your gut told you to look up at the crowd and expected to look for Logan among all of the people. 

“You are, the only exception”

What you didn’t expect to see was a familiar set of brown eyes looking at you from the back of the room.

“You are, the only exception”

You suddenly felt like it was impossible to breathe but you were still singing out the words from your heart. 

“Oh, and I'm on my way to believing.”

As you sang the last words of the song you dropped the mic, making a break for the side exit door, not thinking about your drunk friend at this moment. You just had to get out of there without having to talk to him. You didn’t get very far before you felt a hand grab onto your wrist,

“Let go of me!” you tried to jerk away from him but his grip was strong. You turned to him and attempted to pull his hand off of your wrist all while avoiding his eyes. “What’s your problem?” you ask frustrated.

“What’s my problem? What’s your problem?” he says, you stop trying to pull away and he lets go of your arm you could feel his eyes burning a hole in the side of your face. “You left, and none of us heard from you for a year. The kids literally thought you were dead.”

“Yeah well-” you say with a shrug but are suddenly at a loss for words.

“Yeah well what? You promised you’d call. I waited and waited and waited for months and got nothing.” he says, and without looking at him you could tell that he was really upset about it.

“Well…” you say while thinking of a bullshit excuse, “I suck at keeping promises, so I don’t know why you’d hold me to it.”

“Promises?” he scoffs, “You suck at keeping promises? Yet keep an eight year promise to yourself?”

“That’s different.”

“Y/N, you've made plenty of promises to me in the past and always kept them. I don’t know what was so different about this one. All you had to do was make one simple phone call.”

“Maybe I didn’t want to call you. Did you think about that? Maybe I wanted nothing to do with you guys again!” you yell at him, “How the hell did you find me anyways?”

It went completely silent. You could hear a pen drop in the parking lot.

“I- I don’t really think that, that's important..”

“Steve, how the hell did you find me?” you ask finally looking up at him for the first time in a year.

“Well, I know where you moved to.. Because you know you told me what college you were going to before you left.” 

“Yes, but how did you know exactly where to find me?”

Steve reaches down to pull up his sleeves of his jean jacket to show you the numbers on his wrist. You refuse to look at it, continuing to look up at his face shaking your head in denial.

“No, there’s no way. It’s not possible.” 

“Have you looked at your wrist yet today?”

“No, I told myself that it wasn’t important and that it didn’t matter.”

“Look at it then.” he says grabbing your hand. But as he does this you quickly pull your hand away from him. grabbing onto your wrist.

The voice in the back of your head tells you not to do it, but your heart says otherwise. For whatever reason you listen to your heart for the first time in a while and slowly pull up the mesh material that was covering your arms. Your eyes are squeezed shut, but when you know you’ve got your wrist uncovered you open your eyes and look down. Tears are suddenly streaming down your face, sure enough there was a perfectly placed ‘0’ on both of your wrists. 

“No- soulmates they- they aren’t real.” you start to stutter over your words “This isn’t going to work. I know how this ends, and it’s not good.” you start to hyperventilate thinking about your parents. Knowing that everything went wrong and there was no good to this. 

Steve places his hands on your shoulders to calm you down, “Hey, relax. It's okay, you're going to be okay.” He slowly pulled you into a hug.

“Is this- a dream?” you ask in between short breaths pulling him closer to you.

“It kinda feels like it but no, it's not.” he says resting his chin on top of your head.

The two of you stood there for a few moments taking in this new feeling. 

“I’m tired of running.”

“Then stop running, and walk.”

“But what if I stumble and fall?”

“Then, I’‘ll be there to catch you.”

After that night you ended up leaving USC and transferring to a local college near right outside of Hawkins. The kids were ecstatic to see you when you got home, pulling you in for a giant group hug.

“Don’t you ever leave us like that again.” Mike says to you  

“Yeah, we thought you died!” Dustin says dramatically squeezing you tighter.

“Well, I can promise you one thing right now.” you say looking to Steve, letting a small smile fall onto your lips, “I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.” 

“Steve, how did you find her?” Lucas asks as he pulls away. Steve looks at you and you both bull up your sleeves showing them your numbers being at ‘0’ and they all look between the two of you.

“Ewwww, they’re sOuLmAtEs” Dustin yells out, a taller dirty blond walks over and smacks him on the back of the head. 

“Shut up Dufus, let Dingus have his moment.” the girl says already knowing the story

“I don’t know who you are, but I love you already.”

“I’m Robin” she says sticking out her hand, but you were the happiest you had been in a long time so you just reached out and pulled her into a hug.

“I’m Y/N.” everyone stood there looking at the two of you before bursting into a fit of giggles, which turned into pointless laughter, making everyone double over.

Everyone’s story was different, and there was a lot of work to be done on yours but Steve was going to be there every step of the way. To show you that not everything was perfect, but everyone had their chance at a ‘happily ever after’.

[misterbitches]

Hello! @flootweed replying to the post from before. the long format was killing me. why does tumblr look like this...

I haven’t watched episode 8 yet...or have I? If it’s the most recent one. No.

Is the hornbill a bird? It probably is but I have a terrible memory and I’m dumb so. I skipped the last few weeks because I’m scawwed. How are you liking it? I did see someone say that the hornbill makes sense (without knowing what it is...at all) bc heart transplant patients only live like 5-15 years after but someone in those comments pointed out that he was so young when he got his and that’s pretty rare so he has a higher likelihood of survival. Frankly, this is the only way I will proceed. Since when did shows ever care about the heart transplant health? Never and it needs to stay that way!

What did we think of ep 6? LMAO. I need opinions! And omg it makes me feel special when I can point things out to people because I so...rarely get to LOL. Editing is like one of my favorite things ever so I can be super particular about it but I try to do the thing you do when you’re supposed to see if it works within its context. I’d like to go in with scissors and glue but alas. 

THe mic covering....the rustling....it’s like guys...please. Ironically the audio today wasn’t great. I don’t know why. IDK if you watch c-dramas but I am not even sure what’s worse between them because they dub their dramas. But actually no it’s best to have the dubbing because even tho it is painful they have to put a lot of effort into it. LOL. 

Right? @ Aey! It’s just weird if they would show us more about what he’s done instead of saying he’s done sth bad and not even explaining that....like you could even do some shitty exposition. I think if he is to be a true villain then we really need to be privvy. All the warnings make it seem like he’s a fuckin’ serial killer so when we get the scene of him at home it’s like....actually this is really serious? Maybe his pain is like...for a reason. Althought you won’t even TELL US WHAT HE’S DONE WRONG BESIDES BE JUST FUCKING WEIRD AND ANNOYING! So from what we have it’s just a realllllllll fucked up sad person lol. god i forgot about the dinner! and i totally agree. he really needs them to succeed. i like your theory because it would make the scene where he like blocks the twitter user make more sense. he also says they dont really know each other etc so it’s realllllyyyyy probable that he just sees it as a way out. if not then we shall pretend u wrote it :)

god yea i wouldnt say it is art but i also guess we technically have to since it is technically. in the way that technically performance artists are artists but mostly i uh technically ignore them. Also one of my fav BLs is called the best twins. If you do not know what it is I will not elaborate further.t 

i want to know more abt poli sci majors lmao but they sound DRAMATIC/ hopefully most ppl in ur cohort arent losers! 

hahahha i understand. there was just a thing on twitter about DSA and then the day before about reading discourse. the same thiings. over. and over. and over. and over. we are our own worst enemies but also our own best friends? but i hate tankies and that wont change. but hasan’s a decent guy. he said sth abt black ppl during biden’s primaries in GA or whatever and i was like chill. but he’s insecure and has adhd which means ur more open to being wrong and changing otherwise u will suffocate and die. 

and totally about hiding fuck ups. i’ve tried really hard bc of organizing IRL to like...be honest, question, etc but also like...approach it naturally? because if you’re trying to be perfect and so worried you’ll fuck up you don’t realize that puts  more stress on you, makes you seem like a robot, and could potentially not make you realize the mistkaes you made. also if we’re privileged in certain spaces there is just no possible way we won’t get something wrong. im light and i know that honestly any way to speak up on colorism is going to be difficult and that’s a space where i have power so i just have to figure it out. we should be uncomfortable because we have to sit with unpleasant feelings and sort through our own whatever. that just makes the next time even better and people can trust u more.  i think some people sweat it sooo much or maybe they think their personal life and what theyve been through is more the norm? on the other hand people can be sf reactionary in the worst way and idk what their issue is. there was also a user who said sth very inch arresting about tankies which i thoroughly enjoyed (how like violent lefitsts or tankies / ppl who are like ooh a gun whatever just want to be violent in another space so they have shit tendencies from jump and nothing of substance which i think i agree with tbh fo ra lottttt of ppl. like their anger is actually like “no im about to beat that ass” instead of what we actually want to get done) 

sort of in the same vein re: taking it easy...we coudl all be more understanding too. to slow it down like you mentioned about not being privvy to fucking eveyrthing and saying anything on our mind. i saw this person talk about y2k which was a huge deal while happening bc it was the turn of the millenium (bruh were u even alive?) but this twitter user grew up in a super super SUPER religious household and was like why do ppl make jokes about Y2K it was insanely traumatizing? though my first instinct was confused ive tried hard to like look more before i judge especially thanks to a friend of mine. turns out that with the further reading the more we found out he was just really traumatized; it was very common in religious households to be afraid of 2000. so we could have come at him with no understanding and he could have thought that everyone had the same experience with that year that he did. his feelings sit precedent though but i think it was just very hard for him to fathom. 

i didnt reply bc he didnt need that and what could i have said? he’ll see what the truth is with exposure and unfortunately this was something he really did go through. 

and that’s what makes most people think others could be over the top. because it sounded ridiculous but then it was this huge traumatic thing that we could have never known about. so maybe when someone sounds like actually crazy they have an explanation? of course some ppl are just batshit or annoying but that’s anywhere not just leftists it’ just means more i guess when a ~~librul is annoyed~ but it can be easy to want to make fun of ppl too. lmao.  basically what i am saying is the internet? especially twitter? for leftists? in this economy? bitch it’s the wild west out here.

i am 29! idk if i said it or not. i am OLD u probably werent even born in the year i was talking about wah. i know not old-old or old at all but compared to you i’m due for a colonoscopy.

omg i hope u can get vaxxed soon! are you wfh rn? i hope ur also not in a bad state as in state state not state as in ur being :| bleh what a fucking time. it sucks that you have to fucking do work. well unless u like school. which i hope u do. i just assume everyone hates it cos i did lmao

was it the lindsay ellis drama? that bitch is dumb. if there was other drama oh wait the drama i was referring to it all happened on the same day. idk book twitter that well but i saw something from someone who was abt that shit and wowie! the american people are not that.....intelligent to put it lightly.

i’ll get better. ppl tell me they miss me and im like aw. i have insanellllyyy bad insomnia and a lot of stuff happened this year HOWEVER I SLEPT FOR TWO DAYS FOR 8 HOURS AT A REASONABLE TIME. im a new woman.  anyways you too! i hope ur not too burnt out with school. we just dont know when the burnout is or we just dont know we are burnt out until we are. the panaramiciccici hit and all the things i was ignoring kind of just fell on me and sooo much happened at once. and frankly it’s hard to take care of ourselves. lord. 

Like if you aren’t interested in expanding on the issue in a way that hasn’t been done before all you gotta do it like… spread resources and donate if you can. I dont see the point in having to say something about every issue especially if you (not at you specifically just in general) aren’t immediately impacted by the issue. Like is the 14 yr old white marxist named sarah on twitter really gonna have meaningful insight on anti-asian violence ?

this is part of why i cannot telecommunicate. i dont want to do shit on the internet. i am able bodied so i know that this time has been of such ease for other people. but mentally i just can’t. i don’t have a comment on hand like that and i hvae no desire to engage with ppl that way. i am a super super super solitary person but thats bc it’s MY time so when it’s like all this effort with other people i dont ever want to be alone. it’s the same with the way i approach filmmaking. it isnt a sole thing so i hate it not together. that’s part of how u can get so sucked in and repeat doom scrolling. i was in this webinar last may after [redacted] and this black woman prof said “read with a community and talk” because otherwise she said we are torturing ourselves. you can’t carry that weight all on your own. unfortunately i hate zoom, discord, slack, signal, whatsapp, facetime. you name it this panera has made it evi.. L

you make a really excellent point. i think the young young gen zers are really really just interesting because it’s like this whole new world for them with leftist politics and they just can’t grasp the horrors of the world and the kind of freedom being a leftist can bring. and so many people don’t grow out of it. those people so happen to be the “least productive” in terms of how much time they spend IRL withe these issues. naturally, younger kids are gonna have a harder time. they are not as mobile as well so the internet becomes this place. but then it’s this echo chamber. and many times just things posted without sources. and social media NEEDS that to exist.

i think of the irony of leftist kids on tik tok and while i am happy it’s reaching them it’s just....different. very different. the growth of social media is so good but also so fucking sad, it’s too much! i think the point about not writing everything is major. even i have to do this which is part of the disappearing.y ou need to detach and make sure your head is on straight again. but when you think eveyrone has to be privvy to every thought and you can’t just sit back....which twitter and social media doesn’t encourage. you have to join in. that’s often why when i have something to say it is dense because i don’t feel like repeating it. ever. lmao ust ever. i cant pay attn. social media is a fucking minefield for my brain u can get so lost in it and absorb it but once u start talking you may not be able to stop. 

i think a big part of that is it not being a leisurely thing but sort of just in our lives always. this sounds like a grandpa rant but ykwim. We dont have to see the same thing over and over again. And eventually it gets sincerely diluted or its diluted bc of capitalism or whatever. Or if theyre very young or maybe they don’t have like the greatest way of sharing the knowledge? then it can be butchered. I hope this is making sense...i’m talking beyoond the boring surface-level milquetoast shit. i see really ahistorical stuff on there from leftists (like this thing about NK + africa and it being a beneficial rship as opposed to a um not beneficial one. and it isn’t.  beneficial but this young black girl was talking abt it and noname rtd and i was like it’s just too complex. there’s no good/bad here just bc it’s not america. dont get me started on this.)

but Lol that was kinda off topic but I think what I meant in my last reply about not turning off the voice in my head is about when I consume media, not necessarily when I’m online talking about. Even if I have criticism for something, I’m usually pretty chill when consuming fandom content bc I think being serious online all the time is kinda boring. Like sometimes I’m analyzing theme and shit but really most of the time im memeing.

exactly.........gotta laugh. thats why sometimes im like i cant think lmao. unfrotunately i have been ARGUING with ppl on the internet for rly no reason when  i could have replied to ur very nice fun wholesome message. i love torture. i miss memes.

“ i think the people who get the least enjoyment out of that are those so obsessed with getting upset with anyone thinking outside of their lines as if it equates to them “ EXACTLYYYYY

kekekekeke im glad u got it. it’s like with conservatives throwing around snowflake. now im beginning to question who the real complainers are. 

LMAO exactlyyyy. i posted a screenshot of this writer from twitter saying that exact thing. Like first of all, I’m...an adult? and if you are as well uh? i’m sorry for you but are we 12? But how is it affecting u this viscerally? And if it does why dont u...do...research? pihgofuaipoajghou but honestly everything u said. we’re trained to go into it with nothing. i was only around ur age when i started to get more serious about this stuff but you’re like lightyears ahead of where i was at 21. did i say this but i’m in iww and literally i can tell u in 2016 i did not think 2019 me would be in a union bc i told my friend in a train station that we don’t need unions. i was 23...but the thing is i didnt know what i was talking about. at all. and i knew i didnt know and she knew i didnt know and now i am the clown.

also yes at critical engagement. i had to learn so much through experience and this is tuff that i coudlnt be shielded from. there’s an empathy you kinda have to develop and this understanding that you move through the world as this person who is “nowhere and everywhere; nothing and everything” so i’ve always had to think about things differently just to survive. that’s also what can drag a lot of people towards it like theres so many black kpop fans bc i think a lot of the pain in SK can be mirrored (sort of) through our history. and theres currently a history now but it had to be forged. uh what was my point oh yea however i wouldnt have been able to move further if i didnt have my background to go off of  bc i knew something was off when i started getting into all these things (ill give u a hint) but if i had no prior knowledge and didnt have to think about it then the critical approach is either stale or stupid. 

i had to research but i dont understand how ppl are so bold with little to no research and understanding? thhey just inherently know with also like ZERO experience in what they need experience in. engaging critically means “how i see the world” with dashes of trying to be open adn understanding or whatever. actually that’s another thing like being afraid of criticizing things bc theyre foreign to you so u give it a pass (like we discussed) but it doesnt hAVE TO BEEEE JUST REAAAAAD and then take all the info ur teensy brain and apply it. be a normal human being and dont be fucking rude and racist. thats it! u can complain abt literally anything without being a dick.

as we start with LW and end with LW.....what do we think (i asked this already) omg please share wbl thoughts i THINK i know what ur talking about. well it could be two things; their rship when they came back and the physicality and then pei shou yi. i almost dont even want to use my brain to fucking look at that. i think wbl can get away with more bc of visual~*~*~* reasons (like literally, the look of the show. there’s more space to get lost in the frames. many thai dramas are a lot more literal? this isn’t the right word but it’s very heavily character focused particularly bc of $ i think) though good production also underscores flaws so i am also wrong. but like do u know what i mean? u have to kinda focus on it? or maybe it’s just cos like.....ur so used to it in thai bl idek. i’ve seen tw bl ofc. 

look i swear i will justify this forever bc there are some things we miss right but if u feel like someone’s a bad actor....theyre bad. it’s about tone movement etc etc etc and since most thai bl productions have 0 interest in that....well. they take these newbies and put them in these situations. we dont understand thai but if we see them and we’re like “wow this is really bad” then they’re bad lmao. IDC i will never be like cos idk what theyre saying NO WHY HE LOOK LIKE A ROBOT???????? DOES HE EMOTE? why is he CRYING WITH NO TEARS? and it’s not even a total requisite to cry with tears(i mean for me it is) but it’s just like what is happening on ur face right now young man????????

painful.

the inflection stuff is very valid ooh good point tho but that’s only a part of the piece. plus we get used to the way they communicate. like the ppl from sotus were prtty bad. i dont like that show but thats an ex of ppl liing the actors and the person i thought was better other ppl dont think that? well apparently hes a shitty guy but. um. so when theres decent acting its so glaring.

although i must say even tho i dont care for 2gether anymore and would never like to be reminded about its existence (only bc i just cringe lol) i honestly....didnt think bright was a bad actor? but people keep saying he is and i am much more inclined to believe them than myself. though i am not often dickmatized that could have been it. until he opened his mouth and ruined it and then i stopped paying attn.

although honestly i’m so much more critical than i could be positive. i have ben stumped for the last day about how i wasnt mad at his acting in the show. is it me? is it him? who’s......the wrong one.....(me) 

oh shit they have been denied? i haven’t been paying attn to whats been going on recently. i just got into it on MDL because of snowdrop. sometimes i literally cannot engage bc ill just be like alright well im black so this power button in my head is going off when ppl talk abt that shit. back in the day when kpop jawns were saying some real outta pocket anti black shit (now everyone is slick with it) it’d always be THEY DONT HAVE GOOGLE THEYVE NEVER SEEN A BLACK PERSON but really it’s like no...maybe they are just racist? that’s ok too.

also the past 2 weeks have been um atrocious bc how fucking easily people fell into the pit of white supremacy and started to turn their ire towards black people and making a competition between our groups just like they wanted. it’s not about the women who are dead anymore, who were sex workers, their womanhood, being asian, being poor anymore. it’s about how much black people get attention and why people only pay attn to us. i am not feeling very generous this week for ppl to excuse that hsit.

on a lighter note, ppl say that abt the whole husband and wife thing. i dont know how to explain how angry that shit makes me but maybe it’s because i do not want to think of my body in relation to a fucking penis at all hours of the day. if bls could kindly not do that it would be nice lmao 

yes there are a lot of those. who are only there to gawk lmao. and just idk worship bc of the cult of personality thing bc of how weird and open they have to be as actors. some of the others are people who /think/ theyre really smart (i think im asmart but i also think i am very dumb and i have adhd to prove that MEDICALLY!!!) but are actually not? or their observations arent great? or idk if they are they arent interesting? but i think well..........we have more refined palettes :P

jk also theres just different personalities. you and  i mesh more bc we have a lot of the same beliefs and are coming from the same place. that makes it easier to understand as well. i really try to remember that but some people are really weird so. again just...the perception of certain things even down to acting skills. but i also dont like.......believe this genre can really do anything at all. on one hand i want them to do it right bc it’s a piece of work so they should. be proud of it. cos most things arent advancing us bc representation and culturalism are a lie bla bla. it’s just that when the depictions are negative or not done well it adds to the problem as opposed to the things that are well done are fairly benign and can’t really pull us back (perf example is the black panther film. i woudl definitely not say it was transgressive as a literal work but visually it’s just stunning. and it’s sad that it’s stunning and surprising but still with basically an all black cast of mostly dark people abd like what it means in the zeitgeist yes. it’s also just a good movie. but it’s still imperialist prop and unfortunately and this is fucking pathetic to say it “opened eyes” in other countries where they hate black ppl and ignore their own racialized minorities HENNYWAYSSSS a better ex is moonlight except moonlight isnt mainstream and is indie tho...still thru a funnel of capital bc a24 but who cares bleed the fuckers dry is my motto. my point is moonlight is both a great work and doesnt bring any failures to the table and its existence helps in ways outside of art but they arent the defining things giving us material advancement sooooo i mean it’s complex (this is my conclusion to everything um guys it’s complex) 

er i had one more point in conjunction to above. oh yea so i like dont need all these extra things to make it progressive. like people really want more women in the show and i am honestly like i really dont. i dont want them to actively do this. if they cant do it naturally then let someone else do it. i am not asking for more bc i dont want it from them. when something comes along i embrace it but i do not see why women should be represented when the genre RELIES on patriarchy. there is no complete satisfying existence for the women in these series. i dont want it. i dont ask people to show us~*~* or respect~* like fuck no the people who make it make it and hopefully more will make it in the future but i will not beg bc THEY DONT WANT TO DO IT SO WOULD FORCING IT MAKE IT BETTER? just fucking leave them out entirely. that’s the answer if theyre gonna make nasty female characters then those bitches can geaux. we have other plcaes to be. booked. and. BUSY!

[sad-boy-mono]

Character and Relationship Backstory and an update from me

Hey y'all! I have an update on where I've been at the end of this post for those of y'all who have been following Highschool Casualties and are wondering where I went, but if you've just stumbled across this I don't want to throw a long and random explination at ya!

Haven’t read the main story yet?

Heres the Tumblr Masterpost and the Ao3 link!

The characters

Damien Haas

16, sophomore in high school. Hardcore musical theater kid from grades 4-8. Loves to sing and shit. Got quite a few bigger roles early on. Things got busy freshman year, so he had to put things on hold.

(Favorite musical is probably falsettos or something idk I'm not a theater kid.)

(That's a lie, I'm just a bad theater kid XP)

Fucking loves superhero movies and shit because haha irony.

Favorite class is Drama, least favorite is math. Because math is hard and temporary but Shakespeare is forever.

Has an irrational fear of doctors, dentists, and needles due to some surgical mishaps that occurred when he was young. Also has a fear of the ocean.

Deals with anxiety and frequent panic attacks.

Shayne Topp

15, sophomore in high school. Really fucking loves football, but not on the team. He wanted to be, but he use to be friends with some of the people on the football team. And they... weren't the best to say the least. They were bad influences and caused Shayne to do bad things. He's no longer friends with them, but still goes to the games with Courtney and Damien to cheer on Courtny's brothers who are on the team.

Favorite class is probably woodworking, least favorite is math. Because math is hard and temporary but birdhouses are forever.

(Though he's actually really good at math, like he has the capability to take honors and do well. It just isn't fun.)

Doesn't know how to ride a bike and can't swim. Deep water freaks him out.

Has a huge fear of hurting other (because haha irony) and always puts his friends before himself.

Courtney Miller

14, freshman in high school. Loves writing and art. Has a lot of sketchbooks, but most of them are half filled. At this point she just collects cool sketchbooks.

Also love film/acting/drama but has a lot of anxiety around performing, so she ends up being on her school's tech crew. She's really good at editing, and has a passion for behind the scenes work around productions.

Favorite musical is Heathers.

Favorite class is her painting and art history class, least favorite is math. Because math is hard and temporary but art is forever.

Struggls a lot with school. Doesn't have many friends outside of Shayne and Damien, even when it comes to her tech crew. Generally on bad terms with "friends" (bullies) from middle school.

Doesn't enjoy the other people in her class. A few of them are former (or current) bullies from middle school.

Relationships

Damien and Shayne

Met in the first grade, became friends in a very first-grader-like manner.

Shayne: Hey I like your pokemon shirt

Damien: Oh thanks, you wanna play with trucks?

Shayne: Yeah sure.

They’ve been best friends ever since.

They had a bit of a falling out from mid 7th through 8th grade because of the guys Shayne hung out with. They were your average middle school douchbags but a lil worse.

Things got sorted the summer following 8th grade.

When they started high school, Shayne’s older brother would pick Damien up and give him a ride to school every morning; even though Damien was in walking distance.

But a month-ish before their freshman year, Shayne’s family ended up moving closer to Damien’s, because a tree fell through Shayne’s house during a terrible storm that hit their town. Even though it hypothetically could've been fixed, the house was old so they took it as a sign to just move.

Shayne is the only person who knows about Damien's anxiety outside of his family, and is who Damien goes to when he's having heighted anxiety or a panic attack.

They also bond over their fear of water strangly often.

Shayne and Courtney

Courtney’s family moved across the street from Shayne’s family when Courtney was in the 7th grade and Shayne was in the 8th. And after the initial family intoductions when the Millers first moved in, Shayne never talked to Courtney. Until about a month later, when he was home alone and Courtney knocked at his door.

After Shayne asked 'what's up?' Courtney asked if they could be friends.

“Do you know how to play smash?” Shayne asked.

Courtney sighed and let out a defeated ‘no’ and began walking away from the door.

“Ok, I’m gonna teach you how to play.”

They would hang out quite a bit until Shayne moved, but they still talked a lot.

Shayne later found out that Courtney would go door to door asking for friends. Shayne was the first and only person who had actually said yes.

Most people mistake them for siblings and when they find out they aren’t related, they assume they’re dating.

Shayne treats Courtney like a little sister and is very protective of her.

Shayne was fucking LIVID when he found out Courtney was being bullied. As much as he wanted to fight them, Courtney talked him down from doing so.

He still did the whole 'don't fuck with Courtney or I will fucking kill you' big brother thing. It did the trick for a while. When you're a very athletic 15 year old, it's easy to intimidate people that are younger than you.

Courtney hasn't told him about... the current bullies though.

Courtney and Damien

Met through Shayne. He made a group chat with the 3 of them that Shayne named “Operation Friendship”. Since Shayne and Damien weren't on speaking terms when Shayne and Courtney became friends they never had a chance to meet.

But they didn’t meet in person until Courtney’s first day of high school, where the 3 of them had their first class together, conveniently...

Anytime they play video games, a conversation along this happens.

"Courtney where did you learn to play this game?"

"...Shayne"

"Explains why you suck"

"HEY!"

(Shayne) "HEY!"

------

Hey! Thank you so much for reading! It's been awhile hasn't it. Yeah, I'm sorry. My life has been all over the place for the past few months and I've been struggling to find the motivation to write. I don't want to specifics because it's not only very personal, but a long story.

But to summerize why I sorta dissapeared, I had a lot of personal issues going on with both school and home and as my mental health was on this steady, but consistent, decline, it was at its very lowest in December. My home issues had reached their peak, and with the end of the quarter coming up after Xmas break and my weeks worth of late work coming back to bite me, I was too stressed to work on anything I found enjoyable without losing motivation immidiently.

Things didn't start getting better for me until some time early in semester 2 of my year. My school was transitioning back into fully in person with covid rates at their lowest in my area and things were finally feeling consistant again, but I was still getting my bearings. School still felt draining, though much less than before, and I didn't have much energy to work on things I was passionate about. I don't think I even made a new document for chapter 6 until mid-ish March.

I'm very nervious about coming back to this story after so long for many reason. First being, although I am feeling better mentally, things feel very off with writing this story. Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of passion to write this story and want to see it to completion, I've just had a fluxuating interest in smosh aswell. I enjoy the channel, just not as much as I use to. And my hyperfixation on Smosh was a big drive for me writing the story. Second being that I have so much writers block around the sixth chapter of this story, and I'm worried that as soon as I try to work on it, that block will make me lose my motivation again and I'll put it off for another 6 months.

This "chapter" (idk what else I'd call this) has probably been fully finished in my drafts for about a month now, and I've been putting off posting it because of those listed anxieties, but I really want to continue writing this story so I hope you enjoyed!

Also sorry if this explination was all over the place, I just got my first covid vaccine today and am feeling kinda bleh.

[therandomfish]

Fate: Winx Saga Review

Well.... what do I even fucking say to this? This show had so much promise. So much intrigue attached to it and it just gave us......bleh and not even good bleh or memorable bleh just bleh 

It feels like the show wants to be an angst filled remake of the happy go lucky animated series that was Winx Club. But there’s a problem with that, how were you going to do that and still make this interesting? 

Well they do try right from the get go, we see the opening of our main character Bloom (Yep you lost me) who apparently is attending a school for fairies that all have various elemental abilities and you learn about your elements and your magical powers over the course of the school year. Oh and you have 2 separate sets of students, you have the fairies and you have the specialists, now the fairies have the magic and the specialists learn how to defend their fairy from attack with swords and various potion ideas etc.... well this isn’t set up like every young adult fiction in the entire world ever! Honestly the second I saw the main male character (he was the first male character to speak in the show so I just guessed)  who is called Sky by the way befriend our main heroine Bloom about being lost I kinda just assumed “Oh yeah, you’ll both be trying to suck each others tongues out of your mouths before this season is over” and of course I WAS RIGHT! It’s kinda sad but that’s the state of affairs we are in. Young Adult fiction is good but it appears to be suffering from a case of cut and paste-itus. I feel like I’m watching Shadowhunters on Netflix again (that feels ironic) 

But let’s get to the other characters, because Bloom and Sky aren’t the only characters in this hell hole. We have Stella (a light fairy who’s parents “just don’t understand”), Aisha (a water fairy who is obsessed with the rules and being best), Terra (An earth fairy who has the less desirable body type when it comes to teenagers), Musa (A mind fairy who is the empath who feels everything from everyone), Riven (A specialist who is the resident bad boy asshole) and finally Beatrix (the obvious bad guy so therefore she must be an underling) Did you like those intros? Good because I’ll be honest they do have some good points but again, it feels like these characters are just rehashing the same old stuff from previous books or tv shows or whatever. This wouldn’t be so bad, in fact would almost be admirable from these people but they don’t even attempt to hide it or anything with how deep in the angst pool they are or how evil or misguided they make all the adults in this show...They all seem to make bad choices or misguided choices that come back to bite them in the ass and it’s so annoying. 

We see some side plots like Musa going out with Terra’s brother or Stella feeling insignificant because her mother is such a controlling and manipulative bitch. But the main plot revolves around Bloom learning that she isn’t human at all but a “changeling” which is a fairy baby switched with a human one that is dead or about to be dead (which is pretty fucked up) and we also learn that her parents were a part of some town that got blown up by a psychotic ex head of the school and was assisted by the current head and Terra’s Dad (who works at the school) and then got imprisoned underneath the school. There’s evil monsters hunting people that are just zombies or white walkers basically and then there’s Beatrix who tries to get Bloom to free the psychotic ex head and then leave with them and Riven who goes from being a bad boy stereotype to just being a dick  but (of course) Bloom does not go with them and they save the day at the end of the season. 

So why do I come down so hard on this? It doesn’t seem that bad. And you would be right. It doesn’t SEEM that bad..... the acting isn’t too bad, but does feel very wooden at times. It just feels like this show wants to be another Shadowhunters so bad and it just doesn’t work that way. But I will be checking out future seasons... why? Because while I feel that some of the characters were wooden, many weren’t and the plot? As predictable as it was.... I still wanna know what happens next. Though I wouldn’t wanna watch it again....

Until next time. Randomfish out 

[puppy-the-mask]

Poly? Morph

A Friends to lovers post-dnd-transportation fic focusing on our boys Rant and Rus (debating on adding Edge aswell) 

There’s like 4 POV changes so let me know if I should re-write? this was more for fun than anything, It doesn’t get to romance yet but I hope to continue in my free time. Let me know any errors or anything, I’ll put it on AO3 after a bit more editing and input. I’ve just re-read it so much its all bleh to me so i’m getting second opinions/input here

tw/Blood and Death- not graphic but y’know -/(Owo)\-

It’s been 5 years since we began, just a couple of students playing a game of DnD. Mere hours after wrapping up session zero us players arrived home and as a collective felt a foreign wave of exhaustion, falling asleep one by one.

The city's air was damp and the pathways were dim with the light of half dead lanterns. The party was shuffling through the empty streets to the gates bound for our next assignment when a figure appeared out of the shadows, the glint of metal and we found ourselves face to face with a hostage situation. 

You had once been the closest we had to a tank, a perk of having been a dragonborn with high strength- even if you were a druid bard- but after being cursed for the upteenth time you’d been separated from your avatar- Blackjack-  and rendered a low level support for our high level party. 

Without you taking lead your roll was delegated to other, more impulsive members. The next moments are a flurry of movement as a loud burst sends the assailant back along with you- the dagger at your neck drawing blood. 

Everything blended together as I flew to the front lines, rage getting the best of me as the look on your face burned itself into my mind. The shock and pain in your eyes drove me forward as the streets were painted red. 

The cleric could heal you, I had a life to take. 

--------------------------------

Sans woke up panting, eyelights materializing and analyzing his surroundings. WHAT? 

He couldn’t believe it, there was no way… He was back in his room, back in his world- well the one he’d been in before. There was so much to process, his new surroundings aside- their last foe had been someone they’d trusted. And yet she almost killed y/n… had she even known who she was attacking? There were so many questions rattling around his skull as his magic buzzed in his bones. He needed to check on them, he needed to make sure they made it back. Normally he’d shortcut straight to their room but his magic was sluggish and unresponsive. He’d just have to run.

He managed to make it down the stairs without falling and stumble a few more steps before he heard voices. NO NONONO FUCK! I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!

“AH RANT, YOU’RE AWAKE! RANT?” He had to brace himself on the couch, his center of gravity was much different than his avatar’s “RANT ARE YOU ALRIGHT?” Paps knelt to his level and looked him over

“I’m Fine, Let Me Go-!” The hand on his shoulder tightened its grip as he tried to get past to the door “I SAID LET ME GO! I NEED TO CHECK ON THEM!” 

“WHO? RANT TELL ME WHAT’S WRONG.” He just kept struggling, but everything was getting fuzzy as his soul was settling back in his proper body. “Can You Tell Me Where You Are?” More people were walking in, having been drawn from the dining room by their voices. 

“WHERE!? I'M HERE WITH YOU AT THE HOUSE- NOW LET ME GO!” more voices joined the conversation but they all started to run together.

“rant? dude what’s wrong!?” 

“THE HELL IS HIS PROBLEM?”

“huh, so the shortstack does have eyelights”

“bro?” his eyelights sharpened and shrank on his brother and he felt tears prick his sockets. 

“Papyrus?” The soft copy let him go as he stumbled into his brother’s arms. Stars he really hoped this wasn’t an illusion, but the comfort of his brother’s magic reassured him. “It’s Really You…” 

“sans? sans what happened?” Rant just shook his head, his voice leaving him. Had that all just been a dream? It didn’t feel like it, there was no way a dream could be that real. He could remember with clarity how vivid it all was, the blood- the pain- the party that was just so full of life despite their situation- their bard. His gaze hardened. 

He may not be able to do anything in his current state but there was one other person who was close enough to y/n to have a shortcut straight to them. Rant forced his voice to settle and pinned his friend with his stare 

“RUS.” The skeleton stiffened “YOU NEED TO GET TO Y/N, THEY SHOULD BE IN THEIR ROOM” 

“bro, sans you need to breathe with me you’re friend is fine.” He ignored his brother, not looking away from Rus. 

“RUS I CAN’T USE MY MAGIC” The room stilled around him but he persisted, dragging the younger skeleton closer and dropping his volume “You’re All They Have Right Now.

Seeing his hesitance Rant quickly amended his plea. “If I'm Wrong And They’re Fine I’ll Owe You- I Don’t Care- Just please…” 

Rus swallowed, settled his frantic magic, and nodded before stepping out of Rant’s slackened grip into nowhere. 

“sans i know you like bein dramatic but yer really startin to worry me- what happened, what’s wrong with yer magic.” Rant took a deep breath before looking up at Mutt and muttering into his brother’s hoodie

“I’ll Tell You Tonight” Shifting he let his tears fall and grabbed at the fabric in front of him “ I-I DON’T KNOW I JUST- I WOKE UP BUT WHAT I SAW- IT WAS TOO GRAPHIC TO NOT BE REAL AND I...” Rant took a shuddering breath “ IN IT Y/N- THEY GOT HURT BUT I CAN’T CALM DOWN ENOUGH TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.” He looked away from the crowd to the ground and flinched at the annoyed responses of some of them- mad at him for interrupting dinner over a nightmare and unaware of the satisfaction each rude comment brought him. 

He couldn’t help but thank his old reputation as an attention seeking drama queen, this was his easiest coverup yet. Rant wiped his tears and started the process of evening out his breathing

Stars, it felt so good to be back in his own body. He settled into his brother’s embrace, hugging him back. He’d missed him so much. 

-------------------

Blackjack hadn’t exactly been thrilled when you had showed up, he was quite the opposite if he was being honest. He didn’t like taking a back seat while a teenager piloted his body, sue him. But unlike you’d think he didn’t despise you, It was obvious that neither you nor your friends had been expecting a body switch to happen by the end of the first day. But then nearly 5 years later you’d made a deal with good old gertrude, accepted yet another experimental curse, and next thing the dragonborn knew he had his body back.

The next few months were interesting to say the least, he stuck with the party and quietly delighted in how your companions turned to him when they meant to talk to you and expected him to do things he’d never do. You were different then him, kinder, a total bard, and frankly he’s just glad that all those curses you’d brought onto the two of you had transferred. He could deal with a few extra scars if that was the trade off. 

You did have a couple similarities though, your shared love of gambling, ale, and women. 

The two of you were talking about just that, naming your favorite flirtatious endeavors over the years you’d spent as him- of which there were many, including lady victoria. It wasn’t exactly hard for him to pick up where you had left off but something told him there was something more to the parties’ friend in high places. As good of a rogue as you were you were oblivious to the lady’s growing infatuation, one of the many reasons why the other rogue became the king of thieves rather than you… or him??? Regardless the look on Victoria’s face when he’d introduced you stuck with him, he decided to keep you close for now just in case

You were at the back of the group, his steps slowed drastically to match yours, though you still had to fast walk to keep up with his much longer legs. You were going on about a tiefling academic you’d hit it off with a while back, the one who’d inspired and helped you develop a spell of your own. It was cheesy, a healing spell for those with ‘high charisma’ as you put it that utilized the castor’s kiss. It was effective and Blackjack won’t deny using it on his own to woo the occasional maiden. 

You went on and on and he could envision the tiefling in question, commenting about other features as you raved about her cute freckles, when he felt a prickle in his scales. Before anyone could react you were in a figure’s hold with a blade to your throat.

Suddenly the air crackled with electricity as the trigger happy sorcerer unleashed a Thunder Wave. Blackjack braced himself for the impact, feeling something wet and warm splatter onto his tunic. He rushed towards your prone body, yelling for help from the cleric only to curse when they had run out of spell slots. 

He sighed, his breath appearing a soft glowing yellow in front of him, he never thought he’d have to use your spell in a serious situation- especially not on you. As he pulled away from your cheek the words manifested on your skin, magic runes snaked down to your neck- glowing that same pale yellow. They ran over your wound until there was no more area to cover and slowly faded as your body repaired itself. 

That wouldn’t be enough. The cleric took you from his hold and started pumping on your chest, trying to force air into your lungs in practiced motions. Your blood covered the pathway and the two of them as they tried to keep you from choking on it. 

Looking back to the fight Blackjack saw the rogue known as Rumor- the one you called Sans- in the very heart of the battle. He sucked in a breath as he heard their foe cry out, Veronica. He was right, but he held no satisfaction in that. She tried to plead, to escape, but that rogue wouldn’t let her. Blow after blow he refused to stop.

Blackjack looked back to you as you spat up blood, finally breathing on your own, and he couldn’t help but pity any fool that tried to come between the two of you. Just friends my ass

Suddenly his attention was pulled from you to the cleric, who was outlined in a fading golden glow along with the rest of the party, who slowly came back to themselves

“Gods above that boy made a mess!” Rumor, the real one he assumed, looked on the body with disgust. Lady Veronica was unrecognizable.

“I assume y’all are back in control then?” Y/n sat up with help. Their voice was raspy, they were still glowing, and when they coughed into their hand their fingertips were fading away. They focused on their now bloody hand and chuckled “Must take bodies longer to transport than souls I guess. For what it’s worth it’s nice to meet you all.”

It couldn’t have taken more than 3 minutes of chatting before they were almost gone.

“It was nice knowin ya player”

“Heh yeah, I’ll miss getting my ass kicked at poker…” You surprised him with a look of sincerity and fondness, trapping his gaze onto you “Thanks for everything Blackjack.”

With one more smile and a farewell wish that we look out for ourselves they vanished back to where they came from. They really were kinder than they had any right to be

Blackjack stood with a sigh and without a word turned around to head back to the tavern they’d stayed in previously. He didn’t know about the others but he could use a drink, and it’d take many many more before he’d ever admit that he alread missed his stupid little protege.

---------------------------------------

Rus wasn’t sure what he was expecting, when Papyrus had gone to get Rant for dinner he figured his friend was just exhausted from participating in your club. The three of you had become fast friends after him and the other ‘undesirable’ skeletons were relocated away from the main house’s relationship issues. 

From what he’d been told you didn’t run into Rant despite having had your face in your phone, doing a little twirl to avoid the other skeleton last second - who had noticed your inattention and been gunning for you from down the hall. Which was just like him, always looking to start something. You’d peaked his interest and after a little chat in the halls he’d let you go to your next class until lunch. 

Rus remembered you had looked so nervous and anxious when Rant had dragged you over to their seats across the lunchroom,literally, but you’d engaged and chatted with the shorter skeleton regardless. And while it took a little time he’d started chatting with you as well, since- as it turned out- the two of you were in the same graphic design course. 

It wasn’t hard to convince the two of them to tag along with you to the DnD club come second semester, Rant had come prepared with a binder full of paper for notes and a separate stack for his character sheet, he’d come up with lots of backstory for his character- meanwhile Rus had a singular almost empty character sheet and took all of the session getting set up while you had multitasked helping him and participating in the pre-game exposition. 

That was only a little over 5 hours ago, so when Rant had come down in a panic with a look that had dread coursing through his bones Rus was a little skeptical something had happened to you. But something told him there was more to it, and the desperation on his friend’s face alone was enough to spur him into action. He wouldn’t take any chances, not with someone he cared about

The moment he opened his sockets his gaze was drawn to your bed and he felt any and all composure he’d mustered up leave him. 

“Y/n!?” A faint glow dissipated as he rushed to your side, crawling onto the bed to get to you in your confined space as he gathered you into his arms. Fuck there’s so much blood, Why-What-How??? Fuck!

He hesitated to take your pulse, the blood around your neck still wet. He couldn’t tell where it all came from and he nearly screamed when your hand shot up and grabbed his, your other clamping around his teeth. Rus jerked back and the motion sent the both of you tumbling off the bed, but you managed to catch him and brace a hand against the wall just past him- effectively stopping the two of you. 

The two of you sat like that for a second before you exhaled, the tension breaking Rus began to fuss over you. 

“Y/n what the fuck happened to you- did Rant have something to do with this? are you okay? do you need to go to the hospital?” 

“No! Nonono I’m fine-”

“You’re Covered In-!” You shushed him, almost covering his face again before he caught your hands. He turned one of your palms towards you, it was the one you’d previously been coughing into and shook the offending arm for emphasis “See!!!” You looked past the skeleton at the wall, there was a bloody handprint you’d have to clean off and you could spot some on one of Rus’ hands 

You shook your head and got back on track, fixing your tall friend with a serious look

“Look Rus, I don’t need a hospital. I just need to get cleaned up and maybe get a bandaid or two. I’m okay, promise.” He only frowned, searching your face before sighing

“you owe me an explanation later.”

“You probably won’t believe me.” You said with a tired chuckle

You scooched off of your bed and slipped off your pack, letting it hit the floor with a thunk and various muted clinks and clangs from your supplies, kits, and other odds and ends.

“can i ask about the wardrobe change now or should i wait?” You snickered as you fiddled with the various buckles attaching your scabbards and pouches to your person before thinking better of it and reaching for the pin clasping the ends of your cloak together and removing the garment. “Is That A Fucking Sword Y/N What The Hell!?!?” 

Your laughter only grew louder as you nodded wordlessly with a grin, looking back at your awestruck friend- who had moved to his knees at the end of the bed, leaning closer to get a better look. 

“Yeah, It ties in with the explanation but yeah it’s real! All of it is- wanna hold?” You’d explained excitedly as you quickly got the straps undone and off your body, removing your shortsword and it’s scabbard from the ensemble and holding it out towards Rus. He took it tentatively before sitting back to admire it. 

You watched on with a proud look on your face, your smile growing when he unsheathed the blade and you caught his eyelights expand before zoning in on the engraving along the blade. It was a simple enough sword but one of your friends had enchanted it for you way back at the beginning when you all were still discovering and learning your class’ skills and you’d kept it close ever since. 

Switching gears you started taking off your armor, which thankfully had taken most of the blood as well as your cloak- leaving your tunic nearly spotless this time around. There was a little soaked in around the collar but it was manageable. In a stroke of genius you grabbed a pair of sweatpants, telling Rus to stay where he was you moved to the alcove in your room that didn’t have your bed and quickly changed pants, throwing your boots and pants into the pile of adventuring gear before smearing blood across your face from your nose. 

A mischievous grin spread across your face when you turned towards your companion

“How do I look?” when you got a concerned look in response your grin only grew “Great! I’ll be right back!” Rushing down the stairs you covered your nose, raising your voice so the whole room could hear you

 “Hey mom?! I don’t know what happened but I got a really bad nosebleed- can I wash some things?” 

Your mother turned from the TV to look at you, eyes widening in surprise and concern “Of course, What happened?”

“I don’t know! I woke up and there was blood everywhere. I think It stopped but it got all over my bed.” 

“Here, let me strip your sheets- you get cleaned up.” 

“Oh no, you don’t gotta do that.! I can get it, just give me a sec.” You tried to wave her off but she insisted, already heading up your stairs. Aaaah fuck Rus isn’t supposed to be here he didn’t use the door!!! 

You felt rather than heard the pop of magic in the air and sighed, You’d have to get with him later, but for now you had blood to clean. You absently wondered if rubbing alcohol worked on leather.

Getting back to your room you looked around and found that all your gear- which you had completely forgotten also shouldn’t have been there- was piled up in the same place you had previously changed, hidden from view of your mother. You also found your phone plugged up on your bed with messages on it’s screen

~Rus~

-text me after dinner 

-i’ll come over w/ rant and you can explain 

Rant? Who’s-OOOOOHHH!!!! Right multiverse shenanigans, Sans is Rant here. As you were going to unlock your phone you got another text from the aforementioned skeleton himself

~Rant~

-RUS SAID YOU WERE ALIVE. I’LL BE TELLING MY BROTHER WHAT HAPPENED TO US IF YOU WOULD…

The message cut off, which concerned you until you remembered that you’d have to enter the app to get the full message since it was so long. Inputting your passcode you re-read the full text

-RUS SAID YOU WERE ALIVE. I’LL BE TELLING MY BROTHER WHAT HAPPENED TO US IF YOU WOULD BE UP TO COMING OVER AND EXPLAINING IT TOGETHER? I’D BE NICE TO NOT LOOK INSANE IN FRONT OF MY ONLY FAMILY

-We’ll see if I can make it after dinner, I owe Rus an explanation too. He actually just texted and said he’d come over with you so /I/ can tell /y'all/ what happened

-You slipped up by the way, you live with your ~cousins~ remember?

-YOU’D BETTER COME OVER…

His bubble appeared and disappeared before he finally responded

- BITE ME PEASANT

-Kinky~

-But also sleep sounds great though

-I HOPE YOUR HANGOVER KILLS YOU

You pocketed your phone with a smirk as you hopped off your bed. Some reheated leftovers sounded amazing right about now, you feel like you could eat a whole feast. You glanced over at your things and considered your unending flask of honey mead before thinking better of it. Sans- fuck RANT- was right. That healing spell would give you a major hangover after you woke up, especially with how much it had to heal. You shivered as you felt your own mortality weigh down on you. 

You’d almost died again, and there were no more resurrection scrolls- especially now that you were home. Your eyes drifted back to the flask…

It couldn’t hurt to celebrate a little could it? Not only are you alive but you’re home! Besides you’re already going to hate life in the morning, why not enjoy a few swigs before that cliff?

You took a long drink and closed the flask, burying it under your things before making your way down the stairs to get something to eat. It wasn’t long after that you were in your usual spot on the couch watching TV with your family and laughing together. You’d even gotten a hug from your mom during a sad scene, and if she noticed you crying a bit more than you meant to then she didn’t say anything. It wasn’t totally unheard of for you to shed a few tears for fiction after all.

[lucastheunlucky]

High Steaks | Miles&Lucas

Timeline: Current; After this Chatzy Location: Luke’s apartment; downtown; @ofmyownpack Summary: Miles picks up that Lucas is having a bad night and immediately comes over to check on him with food in hand. He learns what’s going on involving this ghost, and offers help to find her missing body.

It didn’t entirely surprise Miles that there was something going on that Luke hadn’t told him about. He had been alone so long that the instinct was to take on everything by himself. Miles wished that Luke would just stay at his place, but he wasn’t going to insist on it. Luke needed his independence, he needed his normalcy. That, and he had Miles’ birthday gift BBQ grill and fire pit up on the roof. No better place to have a heart to heart than on a rooftop in the summer. “Hey. So I decided against the takeout plan, purely for this.” He held up a bag from the butcher’s with some premium steaks, hot dogs, and burgers. “And I brought beer.” He clapped Luke on the shoulder. “Come on, buddy. Let’s go talk.” 

Luke wanted to stay under his blankets and be a blob for another few hours. He had said he needed someone over, which had been a first for him to admit since he’s had a chance to ask anyone. Miles here was difficult though, it always was for Luke when he looked at his brother and saw, heard, and felt the threats settle into disturbing images. The smell from the bag drew an eye out, the weight of the bag enough to tell him how much red meat was in there. “Okay,” he staggered out of bed, and grabbed a random t-shirt, tossing it over his head as they headed up to the roof, in his hands his knife set, and a few supplies to prep the meat and season it. His shoulders were down while they walked, and he seemed very exhausted, where he usually would be joking and playfully talking Miles ear off, he wasn’t. Luke took his time setting things up, wanting to prep correctly, and get the grill at a good heat. 

“Just like training a dog,” he teased as Luke got out of bed and came over to follow him up to the roof. “Get the red meat out and lure ‘em.” He cracked open one of the beers, handing it to Luke before taking one for himself. Miles was trying to lighten the mood, but he could tell Lucas was carrying something heavy. He started to fire up the grill, unpacking the food and placing it on a tray, starting with the steaks. “You know we’re gonna get to it eventually, so we might as well dive right in. What’s up, buddy?” 

“Bleh,” was Lucas’ response, an old, childish one that came out when his older brother would ask a child sized Lucas to do a chore for him or a favor. He salted the food, and hit it with crushed pepper. It was difficult to word, the situation fresh, but also confusing since he didn’t entirely understand this side of the supernatural. “There’s a ghost of a wolf around, she's here now. Blanche said we can’t see her, that’s the young woman who saw her presence at the shop, she’s a medium or something-- I dunno,” he shook his head, “Blanche said she’s emotionally attached to me because,” he sighed, and could feel the lingering effects of this ghost feeding subtly off him. “Gotch is the one who killed her, buritally might I add. She can’t move on.”

“I’m guessing this isn’t a Mufasa’s spirit lighting up the stars kind of situation?” Miles asked with a sigh. He didn’t know this Blanche girl too well, but he’d met her once, when she’d been asking for help about someone who’d been attacked by a hunter. Jeez, why was it always hunters? “Blanche sounds like she knows her shit.” Miles took a sip of his beer. Luke had taken charge of the grill, and Miles let him do his thing. Miles was pretty good with a grill, but Luke was the chef in the family. “I don’t really know how ghosts work,” he admitted quietly. “Is she here right now?” 

“Should be. But I don’t either, apparently, cause she’s been around since I was put in that grave and never noticed,” Luke said with a bitter edge to it. “We went back there, where I was--” he glanced over at his brother, just to be sure it was him, and not a hallucination, and it really bothered him that he couldn’t actually tell right now. “It fucked with my head seeing that place again. Blanche said sometimes ghosts are on the verge of turning into something else? I can’t remember the word, but they can make you see things, and it feeds off people as their emotions change? Shit man, who knows. I’ll take a physical being any day over shit I can’t see, touch, or deal with a set of claws.” He plopped down close to Miles even though there was plenty of room on the roof, and put his head on his shoulder after the food was cooking. The touch told him he was here. “We have to find her body. Put her to rest. I can’t go back to that place. I really need you too.” 

"That poor girl," Miles sighed. He couldn't help but start casually glancing around to see if he might be able to catch a ghostly outline or something, but he was pretty sure it didn't work that way. "Like evil spirits?" He shook his head. "I can understand that. If I'd been killed violently and stuck around to watch the asshole keep hurting other people, I'd probably turn into a vengeful spirit too." He'd already downed one beer. Luckily, he'd foreseen this and bought a twelve-pack. "So what does that mean for you?" he asked, opened his second beer. 

“Once her body is found, we can give her a proper burial, and she will move on,” Lucas’ stomach growled at the smell, and leaned up to turn the meat over. “I’d do it, but she materialized and made me hallucinate Gotch, and you-- cause I was too close to our grave or something.” He reached for a beer, and turned to face Miles. “Even right now, looking at you without a touch component. I’m not sure you are you. I mean, I think so, but it’s hard seeing what she showed me. She will just get stronger. I think you can find her body the fastest-- even with all this. I’m sad for her.”  

“Oh, shoot. That’s some heavy shit.” What Miles wouldn’t give to just be gearing up to watch the NBA finals or the superbowl with his brother instead of talking about some poor girl who’d been murdered. The sooner Gotch was out of all their lives, the better. “Did she make you have a vision or something? Ghosts can do that?” He breathed a heavy sigh. The first steak was done, so he pulled it off the grill and onto his plate, along with some corn on the cob and some grilled mushrooms. “I’m me. I promise.” He squeezed Luke’s shoulder. “I can do that. Just tell me where to look.” 

“I just saw you, like, you were standing there so clearly. It was very real,” he plated up, and plopped back down on the chair. “I could hear and see Gotch too, bleh,” Lucas frowned, his stomach souring. “Strawford Park, you need to take Blanche though,” he looked over at Miles. “She needs protection, she’s sensitive to them, the ghosts. I was so worried about her, but she can perform what is necessary to get her moved on. Please keep her safe. She has the lot number and I can give you her cell.” 

Lucas was such a sensitive soul. Miles could feel the agony in him. All the kid wanted was for everyone to be safe and happy. It sucked that he had to get dragged into such hell. He didn't deserve it. He should've been out living his life, learning to be a professional chef, going to that awesome culinary college he'd wanted to go to, kissing girls, kissing boys, making those dumb adolescent mistake. Instead, his years had been dedicated to this. "I know her. Not well, but... vaguely. She knows Regan, I think. I'll talk to her." 

“Good, okay--” Lucas’ shoulder relaxed somewhat, but it would be challenging until this poor ghost could move on. That could have been so many wolves. The ones who were wrongfully murdered, and so brutally dealt with. “You know, this will be over someday and then a different climb happens.” He chuckled a little, taking an oversized bite of his burger. “I’ll just be happy to call mom and dad.” Luke honestly said in the simplest of ways, and of all the things he wanted to do when Gotch was killed, that was the most on his mind. “I really want this to end, okay. We have to win.”

Miles wrapped an arm around Luke, giving his shoulder a momentary squeeze. “We’re gonna get through this, okay? We’re gonna have Monday Night Football and chips, BBQs with mom and dad and Ava and Nathan, you’re gonna date, maybe go back to school, we’ll just… be normal, okay? We deserve that at least.” He pulled his arm back and elbowed Lucas in the arm. “Now eat your fuckin’ steak before it gets cold.”

That all seemed like a far away dream, but Miles always had a way to make someone feel like they could reach the stars. It was why he always put his older brother on a pedestal, never entirely believing he could reach where he saw. Why it was so easy to just walk away, fade to a place that muffled and stopped his soul from shining. Lucas could smile for the world easily, but he didn’t always believe. He won’t be able with Gotch until the end. “Bossy-- shut up,” he chuckled, and started eating anyway. At least with this, he could handle. 

[for-fucks-sake-h]

Smooth Operator: Part Two

Word Count: 6.7k // Rated: M, mature // Story Page

*Y/N’s texts are in italics. Harry’s texts are in bold.*  

The oc version of this story can be found on Wattpad. 

*** 

“I’ll do the chicken tostadas, thanks.” Y/N spoke as she handed the waitress her menu.  

“I don’t think we’ve been out like this in months,” Bec said with a smile.  

The girls had reservations at a mexican spot they loved, skipping their usual Saturday brunch for a late Saturday dinner. The restaurant had great food, even better margaritas, and a really cool, eclectic atmosphere.  

“Cheers!” El raised her drink to the center of the table, “To us, and finally being done with this bloody case!”  

They were all smiling as they clinked their glasses.  They just finished a huge case that they had been working on for weeks now. It had Y/N super stressed and high strung for a while, but paid off in the end with a positive outcome for them.  

They were joking and laughing until their eyes were watering while they waited for their food. Y/N felt good being out for a change. Enjoying a nice dinner with her friends, being able to unwind a bit. It was good for her. She always felt like she was in work mode but she needed to have time to just enjoy the moment like this. Going out to dinner didn’t seem like much but it was for her.  

They thanked their waitress when she brought their entrees out and ordered another round of drinks. The table was quiet for a few moments as they dug into their food as if they had each been starving for days.  

Y/N’s phone suddenly lit up on the table with a soft ping, making all three of their eyes flick over to it but not thinking much of it. Until it did the same thing again less than a minute later.

“Alright, what happened to the no phone policy while we’re eating?” El said with a smile. “You guys nearly ripped my head off last time.”

“That’s because you’re always on yours. We made the rule for you,” Bec says with a mouthful of her taco.  

El gives Bec the side eye before jutting her chin out quickly in the direction of where the phone was sitting, “Is that him?”  

Y/N was quiet as a small smile pulled at her lips, leaning forward to read the messages on her lock screen.  

Enjoy your night out  

Hopefully we can talk later if you’re not too tired x   

She really tried to fight the insistent smile that was forming as she slid her phone into her purse with a quick “mhm” as a response to her friends.  

Y/N had been texting Harry consistently for a few weeks now. They have some sort of exchange nearly every day. Sometimes it’s just a few quick messages back a forth wishing each other a good day. Other times she’s telling him a full blown story of chasing Rocco down the street when his leash slipped out of her hand. Or Harry is complaining about a miserable customer that doesn't understand why he can’t fix their laptop after it fell in the bathtub.   

A couple days have passed here and there when they haven’t texted and she finds herself wondering what he’s doing. Just as quickly as a thought of him snuggled up on his couch forms a picture in her mind, she dismisses it. She has no idea what he looks like and she certainly has no idea how he cuddles on a couch.

But she likes talking to him. Their conversations are easy and he’s funny with his dry humor and corny jokes. It’s hard not to like him and his company. But again, whenever she starts to think like that she shakes her head at herself. She doesn’t have his company. Texting can hardly equate to that and she thinks the more she focuses on that fact, the better off she’ll be.

She finds herself battling with this a lot though. She feels like she’s getting to know Harry but also feels like she doesn’t know him at all. Not really. How much could she possibly get to know him in this capacity? How much would she want to? How would she feel if she gets too attached? This is his job. He does this with plenty of other people. What makes her think that the way they talk is so special?

She can’t deny the little sliver of happiness she feels when she gets a message from him though.

“So you’ve been talking a lot, huh?” Bec asks.

“Yeah, we have. He’s really nice.”

“Nice?” El replies, one of her eyebrows raising in question.   

“Yup,” Y/N confirms, popping the end of the word dramatically.

“Alright, spill bitch!” El said with a smile.  

Y/N chuckled, “There isn’t much to spill. He’s nice. I like talking to him.”

“Okay so why do you seem so solemn about it then?” Bec questioned.  

Y/N stuffed a bite of food into her mouth to give herself a second to think before answering. “I’m not. I’m just… cautious. I like talking to him, maybe a little too much for my own good.”

“You’re worried about getting attached?” El asked.  

“Well, yeah. You’re suppose to make connections, right? Well it’s kind of hard to know where to draw the line of how connected you get. Like, I want to get to know him but I feel I should also keep my guard up.”

“Nothing wrong with that. I just want you to have fun. It’s supposed to be fun. Enjoy yourself! Try not to worry so much.” El spoke with a smile. She had a way of comforting Y/N, confirming the things she already knows but lets her brain worry herself too much anyway.  

She knows El is right. She definitely worries about things that she has no control over, things that are so far down the line that they shouldn’t even be a focus yet. She has no reason to be worrying about getting close to Harry. Is she really going to hold herself back when she hasn’t even really given herself a chance to experience him?

“Hard to shut my brain off,” Y/N smiled. She felt lucky to have friends that she could talk to about anything and never worry about them judging her or thinking differently of her. “But you’re right.”  

“Of course she is,” Bec says over a mouth full of food. “So have you talked on the phone with him yet?”

“Not yet. Honestly he hasn’t really tried to initiate it. He seems fine with texting.” Y/N says with a furrowed brow. She did think it was a little odd that Harry was so willing to text her. He never asked her to call him and never turned the conversation sexual unless she gave the opening.

When she gave it though, he jumped. He excited her, just his messages made her skin tingle. She would be lying if she said she wasn’t a little antsy to know what it would be like to actually talk to him. To hear him say the filthy things he texted her. To know what his voice sounded like when he told her how bad he wanted her or what a moan sounded like when he was so turned on he couldn’t keep it in. She’s listened to his voice memo more times than she would ever admit.   

“You probably have to call him. Wait, you aren’t getting charged for the texting, are you?” Bec asks with wide eyes.

“No no, you only get charged for the calls.” Y/N laughed. “Maybe you’re right. I don’t know, there’s still a little part of me that is weirded out by it. I think he likes texting me and that doesn’t cost anything. But calling him, having to pay for it, feels a bit sleazy if I’m honest.”

“Please, it’s no different than buying porn. If he felt exploited in any way he wouldn’t be doing it.” El brushes off quickly.  

Y/N shrugs at the thought. “Yeah, true.”

“Are you still nervous to talk to him?” Bec asks.  

“A little. Just the unknown, you know? I want him to like it too. I think that’s why it feels sleezy, the thought of him doing it and not being into it is just, bleh.” Y/N gags onto her finger for the extra effect, making her friends laugh with her.  

“I get that. But you’re a smart girl, Y/N. I think you would be able to tell if he was into it or not.” El laughs.  

“Or he’s just really good at his job,” Y/N challenged with one lifted brow.  

“Are you looking for excuses?” Bec laughs.  

“Maybe…” Y/N smiles down at her plate.  

She could admit that she may have been looking for every reason not to call Harry. She felt like she was damned if she did and damned if she didn’t. They could talk and she could love it. Scary. They could talk and not really have a connection over the phone. Boo, that sucks. It’s over as quickly as it started.  

“I think you need to stop worrying and go for it. What’s the worst that could happen?” Bec says, quickly adding, “Don’t answer that,” when she sees Y/N open her mouth to list all the negative outcomes.  

Y/N laughs before changing the subject to a guy Bec is currently talking to, immediately getting a full blown story of how she’s over him already because she heard he’s a player. They enjoy the rest of the night without any more talk of Harry, finishing off two more margaritas before they call it a night after being there for nearly four hours.   

On the car ride home, Y/N stared down at her phone. Specifically her text thread with Harry. She wants to talk to him even though the thought has her heart beating wildly. If her heart beats like this just thinking about it what is it going to be like if she actually talks to him. But she has to know. She needs to experience it, even if it’s only once. Even if she’s playing it up in her head and it’s nothing how she thinks it will be. She thinks that would be better than her continuing to wonder.

I’m in the uber now. Maybe I can call you once I’m home… if you’re up to it?

Harry glanced at his phone on the couch cushion next to him when he heard the ping, his heart dropping to his stomach. He quickly sent back “of course” before tossing his phone back to the couch and running his hands through his hair.  He leaned back, pushing his head back to the top of the cushion and stretching his legs out as he combed through his hair repeatedly.

Relax, he thought.

He lifted his head slowly before whispering, “relax,” down to the organ that was already pulling blood from the rest of his body in need.   

He had to calm down but he was so excited. He’s been thinking about this since he first talked to Y/N. Every time they talk and she puts an lol in her message he wonders what her laugh sounds like. He wonders how she says words like water and caramel. If her voice is high and sweet or low and raspy. Every time she replies with a mmm fuck to some filthy thought he shares with her, he feels like he’s in pain with how much he wants to actually hear her say it. 

He stands quickly from the couch, jumping up and down as if he’s getting ready for a boxing match. Shaking his arms out as if that could possibly help loosen him up. His cock was twitching in his pants at the possibilities this call held. He reaches down to smooth his hand over himself, foolishly thinking that if he gave the pulsing some attention it would calm down.  

He leaned down to check his phone again, seeing that Y/N read his reply but hasn’t answered yet. He turned his tv off, flicked his front hall lights off before going to the kitchen to grab a water bottle and head upstairs.  

He stood in his bathroom looking at himself in the mirror as he gulped down half the bottle. Breathing heavily when he pulled it away from his lips, a mixture of how quickly he sucked the water down and how the anticipation pulsed through his veins.  

He washed his face and rubbed some face cream into his skin with shaky hands. Quickly finishing up in the bathroom and heading to his room. He stood at the foot of his bed as he checked his phone again. Still nothing.

He walked to the side of his bed, placing his phone on the nightstand before turning on the tv that was mounted on the wall across from the bed.  He pulled his t shirt over his head and removed his joggers before slipping into bed. What’s taking her so long?  

His cheeks already felt warm, making him shake his head at himself as he sunk down further in the bed. He flicked through the channels to try to distract himself. Minutes passing like hours as he waited, finally hearing a ping twenty minutes later.  

I’m nervous lol

He smiled at her message, his brain conjuring up the laugh he pretended he knew every time she wrote lol.  

It’s okay. I am too

Really?

Definitely. But I’m excited too.

How excited??  

He let out a deep breath followed by a soft chuckle.

Gotta call me to find out xx  

He watched the message turn to read and waited.  A few minutes passed with him just staring at the phone until he realized he was whispering a quiet “come on” to the screen.

And then it lit up, causing the warmth of his skin to ignite as well. He took a deep breath and slowly exhaled before accepting the call.  

“Hiii,” he spoke quietly, extending the greeting.    

It was quiet for a second before he heard a low hum followed by an even lower, “Hey,” come through the receiver.  

His heart was already racing but somehow picked up speed at that one word. He was way more nervous then he let on. Maybe even more then he even realized himself.  

“Alright?” he asked with a small laugh.  

“I was wondering what you would sound like when you say that.” Y/N replied with a laugh of her own.

“How I say alright?”  

“Yeah, you say it a lot.” She chuckles softly, the sound making his heart flutter all over again.  

“Wanna make sure you’re alright,” he replies lowly.  

“I know. Always checking on me. I like it,” she finished softly.  

“Good.” The line is quiet for a few seconds before he continues, “How was dinner?”

“Great, had three margaritas,” she laughed. “Think they gave me the balls I needed to finally call you.”  

He laughed, liking the way she talked quickly, ignoring how the way she said balls made his cock twitch again.  

He hummed before answering, “’m glad you called. You’re not drunk?”  

“No, I’m… happy.”  

“Didn’t know happy was a drinking level. Sober, buzzed, drunk, they’re the usual ones,” he teased.  

She laughed, “Yeah of course. Happy is around buzzed, like when you’re just starting to feel good and warm.”  

“Ahh, I see,” he says with a chuckle. “Tha’s good t’know.”    

The line goes quiet for another few seconds before Y/N huffs, “I’m sorry I’m being weird.”  

“You’re not being weird. This is a weird situation. Jus’ gotta relax,” He assures her. “Tell me where you are. Or what you’re wearing.”

“Really,” she giggles. “I didn’t know you were so cliche,” she says through a laugh.  

He chuckles, smiling goofily at the way she teases, “Come on, it’ll help. Get you in the moment.”  

“Hmm okay,” she says.  He can hear shuffling before she continues, “I’m in bed.”  

“Sexy,” he interupts, making her bark out a laugh. His pulse quickens at the sound, smiling at the way she giggles around an apology. “And what are you wearing?”  

“A tee shirt,” she says softly before it’s quiet again.

“Tha’s it?”  His heart beat picks up at the thought of her in laying in bed with her phone pressed to her ear in nothing but a shirt. He has no idea what she looks like but it doesn’t matter, his brain forms the picture in his head and his cock pulses at the thought.  

She confirmed with a quiet “mhm” that makes his pulse pick up even more. He could hear his heart beating it was so hard.     

“Fuck,” he whispered.  

“What?” She questioned and the way she sounded so innocent, like she had no idea what he was thinking made his cock jump.  

“That is… so sexy,” he says as he mutes the tv, wanting to only hear her voice.  

“Is it?” She whispers, her pulse racing, the tingles between her thighs becoming stronger with every word he says.  

“I think so. Do you always sleep like that?” He asks, his voice lowering an octave with the question.  

Y/N swallows thickly before answering, “Usually.”  

She can hear his breathing and the way he whispers, “You’re killing me” makes her cheeks burn.  

The line is quiet again apart for the sound of each other’s breathing. Harry knows she’s nervous but he wants to be sure this is actually what she wants before he goes any further with the conversation.  

“Love, if you’re not comfortable with this yet just say the word.”

“No, no, I am,” she says quickly.  

“You sure? I don’t wan’ you to feel like we have to do this now. ’m perfectly fine with texting you. Textin’ is free,” he trails off.  

He hates the thought of her even remotely feeling forced into anything. She’s being charged for every minute of this call, and he knows it’s a pretty penny. If she’s even the slightest bit uncomfortable it’s not worth her time or money.  

“No I want to,” she says. “I want you,” she says in a soft tone.

Harry exhales deeply, “Fuck, good. Want you too. ‘m so hard,” he says lowly.  

His admission has her pressing her thighs together more. She knows she’s soaked already and he’s barely said anything, the anticipation of it all getting her wound up.  

“Really?” she whispers.  

“So hard. You had my cock twitching when you first asked to call.” He speaks honestly as he slips his hand into his boxers, the contact making him swallow thickly and suck in a breath.    

“God,” she moans quietly. The sound makes Harry’s stomach clench deeply, a soft moan of his own following. “Are you gonna touch it?”

He smiles at how she avoids the word, “Touch what, love?”

“Your cock,” she says softly.  

“Mhm, already am. Wish I wasn’t though. Would much rather be touching you,” he says, his breathing picking up as he strokes his hand from his base to his tip. 

“Oh my god,” Y/N whispers, finally reaching down to slip her fingers through her wet folds. Her clit is swollen, sending tingles throughout her body as she grazes her middle finger down the length of it before circling her entrance. “Shit,” she gasps quietly.  

“Yeah, touch yourself for me love,” Harry says in a strained voice. He sweeps his thumb over his tip, circling his precum over his head, making him release a breathy moan. He pulls the phone away from his mouth as he collects some spit before wrapping his hand around himself again, pumping his cock slowly.   

“Fuck,” she moans quietly as she pulls her wetness up to her clit.  

“Gonna rub your clit ‘til you come?” His voice is so deep, even deeper than it was when he first answered and definitely deeper than the voice memo she listened to repeatedly. His voice was having the same effect on her that she thinks his breath fanning across her skin would as it caused goosebumps to raise and her stomach to clench.  

“Yes,” she moans. “Oh my god.”

“That’s it,” he encourages, the rhythm of his strokes increasing with her pants. She sounds so good, breathing heavily with quiet moans and whines gracing his ears periodically. Everything she says is breathy with a small whine at the end and it makes Harry’s cock throb with every word.  

She’s rubbing small circles into her clit as she listens to him moan on the other line, each moan making her core clench with need. She hasn’t been this wet in ages, her fingers easily slipping over her skin and making her body go warm as she brings her orgasm to the surface with every flick.  

“Fuck,” Harry gasps. “‘m so close, love.”  

His words spur Y/N on, wanting to hear him come. She rocks her hips up to her hand as if he was there, as if he was between her legs and pushing into her over and over again.

“Yes, yes,” she chants softly, making Harry’s cock pulse and a groan come from deep in his chest as he pumps himself faster.  

“Play with your nipples, Y/N. Need you to come for me. Come on,” he urges lowly, knowing from previous texts that her nipples are sensitive, hoping it’ll push her over the edge.

“Fuck, oh my god,” she moans deeply. She does as she’s told, tucking her phone between her shoulder and ear so that she can snake her hand under the hem of her shirt. Her cold fingers flick her nipple quickly, sending chills down her spine. A stark contrast to the warm fingers that rub her clit. “Fuck, I... Harry,” she gasps his name before another moan falls from her lips as she squeezes her eyes shut, her core clenching rapidly as she comes.    

“Shit. Yes, that’s it,” Harry breathes out as he listens to beautiful moans fall from her mouth. He pumps his hand quickly until a low “fuck” and guttural moan comes from his chest and he’s painting his stomach with his release.

They both pant harshly as they come down. Y/N stretches across her bed as she chuckles with a quiet, “Shit,” gasped into the phone that gets Harry laughing.  

“Y‘alright?” He asks with a smile.  

She hums in response, “Are you?”

“Fuckin’ great,” he chuckles. “You’re amazing.”  His heart flutters from his admission, feeling a warm blush travel up his neck and onto his cheeks.  

“So are you,” she says softly. “I hate to just end this but… you know...”  

“No, I totally understand,” he interupts. “I really enjoyed it. Hope you did too.”

“I definitely did.”

He speaks then in a low, almost somber tone, “Night, love.”  

“Goodnight, Harry.” She whispers softly.   

Harry tosses his phone onto the other pillow as he gets out of bed to clean up. This is new. He wanted to keep talking to her. Usually, he’s perfectly fine with getting off the phone once he finished and passing out quickly after. But he feels like he could have stayed on the phone with her for another hour just listening to her talk in that post-orgasm voice.  

As he got back into bed with a low groan he noticed a message.  

We can still text, right?

Fuck, how did such a simple message like that make his heart race?

Absolutely.  

Good. I like texting you.  

Me too

And I like getting off with you

God I like getting off with you

So you’re happy with your service? :)

Very

Narcissist lol  

Ha! Just making sure my customer is happy love  

Your customer is very happy

And still soaked    

Harry groaned at her message, his cock twitching at the thought of her being soaked from him.  

They texted until the late hours of the night, coaxing each other to another orgasm. Messages talking about everything they liked from the phone call. Harry telling Y/N that her moans made his dick throb just thinking about them and her telling him that the way he says fuck makes her pussy clench. Their messages were even more intense now that they could use things the other person does to rile them up more.  

It was nearly 3am when they said their real good nights with promises to talk tomorrow. Harry layed in bed staring at his ceiling willing sleep to come but feeling so wired still from the last few hours he spent with Y/N. Her voice was just as warm as he expected and it turned him on more than he imagined it could.  

He turned over to try to get comfortable, hearing a ping come from his nightstand. He leaned up on his elbow, pressing the home button to light up the screen.

Thank you xxx  

A smile curled the left side of his mouth up as warmth spread across his cheeks.  

Thank you love xx  

***

TGIF.     

Y/N sent Harry the text on her train ride home from the office.  She couldn’t believe how long of a week she had.  She loves her job but she often wonders if it will ever not be like this. If she will ever end her week with a little extra energy to actually do something on a Friday night instead of going home to take a really long bath and cuddle her dog.  

She and Harry have been consistently talking for two months. More often than not she wakes up to a reply from him from their conversation the night before. The night before, when he would talk slowly in his deep voice, telling her all the ways he wanted to fuck her. When he’s moaning from the hand he has wrapped around his cock, begging her to come.  

She has a tendency to fall asleep not long after he helps her orgasm, making their conversation spill into the next day.  They never really end though.  Sure, there are lulls when either are busy.  Hours, sometimes a full day could pass and the conversation would just pick up where they left off.

Y/N liked that about them. Their conversations were easy and could range on the topic throughout any given day.  Like the day they started the conversation off with how much Harry came the night before and ended late that night with a deep discussion of whether they believed there was life on other planets.

Lol long day?

Longest. Do you have plans tonight?   

Yeah I do

Y/N frowned down at her phone.  Damn, she thought.  

Oh okay, have fun. We can talk tomorrow. 

Plans with my bed and you ;)  

Haha why are you like this  

Cause it’s fun  

For who?

Never mind don’t answer that

I’ll be home in 10 :)

Y/N smiled down to her phone before locking it. She couldn’t deny that he made her smile. He was funny, and charming. They got on really well. And they just clicked when it came to the phone sex. He always seemed to know what she needed in the moment to get off.

They’ve spent every Friday night just like this for weeks now. Y/N would get home late from work, eat something quickly, take the fastest shower of her life and get into bed to call Harry. He was always there, ready and waiting for her. There have been nights when they would talk for hours. Her credit card knows that better than anyone.  

It always started out with sex but ended with them talking about something random.  They would catch their breath together, giggle as they came down and then the conversation would shift until one of them found themselves dozing off.  

I’m home. If you’re ready, I was thinking I could take you in the bath with me.  

Love that idea. I’m ready when you are love.

One sec

Y/N started her bath, threw in the epsom salt and bubble bath she always used and took her work clothes off, throwing piece after piece of clothing into her hamper. She had the lights dimmed and lit a candle that she kept on her counter. She pulled her hair up into a bun on the top of her head before stepping into the tub, hissing as she eased into the hot water.   

Once she was settled and the tub was filled she quickly turned the water off, dried her hands on her towel and grabbed her phone to click Harry’s contact.

Setting it down on the ledge and sinking further into the water as it rang, waiting for his voice to grace her ears.

“Hi, love,” he greeted softly.

“Hey! How are you?”

“M’good. You in the bath already?”

“Yes thank god. I’ve missed my baths,” she chuckled softly.

“Missed them?” Harry laughed.

“I use to take a bath every Friday after work but ever since we started talking I’ve taken showers.”

“Is that because you can’t wait to get on the phone with me?”

She could hear the smile in his voice and let her own lips curl slightly.

“Yeah, well, I found that an orgasm relaxes me more than a bath.”  

“Could have been taking baths this whole time, love. I have no problem with making you come while you’re in there.”  

“Yeah?” She asks breathily, her skin tingling with his promise.

“Yeah, can’t help but think about being sat behind you.”

“Gonna rub my shoulders?” She teases.

“Was thinking more that I could rub your clit,” Harry’s voice drops lower as he speaks. “Would you like that?”

“Yes,” Y/N says on an exhale with her knees pressed together.

“Can you do it for me?”

Harry’s laying in his bed with his phone held up to his ear. His other hand is rubbing his cock over is boxers as he listens to her moan softly, imagining her spreading her legs in the tub to tease her clit.

“Do you know how hard you make me?” He asks, his voice strained as he pulls his cock from his boxers and strokes from his tip to the base.

“No,” Y/N breathes.  

“You don’t?” He moans, both from the way her voice sounds soft and breathy and from his thumb rubbing over his tip.

“Nuh-uh,” she breathes again, her head tilting back to rest on the tub as she rubs slow circles on her clit.  

Harry’s cock pulses at her tone. He loves when she’s unassuming like this, especially since he knows that she knows exactly how hard she makes him. They’ve been doing this long enough to know what gets the other person off and although Y/N likes to play innocent, he knows better. She likes his reactions. She likes hearing him moan and tell her how turned on he is.  

“Fuck,” he groans out slowly as he pumps his cock, his hips pushing up to meet his hand the tiniest bit. “I’m throbbin’ for you. Got me so hard, feels like it has its own pulse.”  

“Shit,” she moaned, her imagination conjuring the image of him stroking his cock. Imagining how his skin moves over his hard length. “Are you in bed?”  

He smiled at her inquiry. She did this every night; asked where he was in his house and what he was wearing. She wanted details ever since their first phone call when he told her it would get her in the moment. If they couldn’t see each other then they at least needed to be able to let their minds come up with an image of what the other person might look like while they touched themselves.  

“Yeah love,” he sighed as he stretched his toes towards the end of the bed. “Have my cock pulled out of my boxers. Couldn’t wait,” he blushed at the admission. Even though she couldn’t see him, he still felt embarrassed. He was needy for her. Just her text that she was almost home made him antsy.  

“Will you take them off?” She asked quietly, her cheeks burning from the tingles shooting up her spine and the way she immediately heard the ruffling coming through the phone from him moving around to remove his boxers.  

“Better?” he asked, the smile evident in his tone.  

“Would be better if you were here,” she mumbled with a light laugh, her cheeks warm with desire.    

“As much as I like when you touch yourself, I would much rather be the one touching you,” Harry spoke softly.  

“Yeah,” she encouraged softly, her fingers putting more pressure on her clit. Her legs widened at his words as if she was making room for him.  

“Wanna fuck you with my fingers. Push two in to press against that spot that’ll have your legs shaking f’me.”  

“Shit-”  

“Sat behind you so I can kiss your neck. So you can feel how hard I am against you. Want you to feel how much watching you come from my fingers turns me on.” Harry’s voice is low as he tells her what he knows she wants to hear. His cock is leaking from the thought of feeling her clench around his fingers as she moans his name softly through the phone.

“Oh my god, I want you,” she moans, the words coming out all in one breath. Her core is clenching, begging to have his fingers fill her.    

Harry’s heart flutters at the same time his stomach clenches from her words. She’s said things like that before. That she needed him, wanted him, begged for him even, and every single time his reaction is the same. His face and neck get even warmer and his arousal pools in his belly, swirling with need to actually have her.  

“Give yourself two. Slide two fingers in, just like I fuckin’ would,” Harry instructs her, his voice gravelly as he pumps his cock faster, his wrist twisting around his tip repeatedly.  

“Fuck Harry,” she moans quietly as she pushes her fingers into herself, immediately pumping them slowly, curling them on every deep push.    

“That’s it, love. Now use your other hand to rub your clit until you come for me.” 

Y/N’s moan was strangled, her pleasure falling from her lips as she swirled two fingers over her clit in time with her other hand. Her core was clenching with every pump and every moan Harry let travel through the phone made her stomach twist.

Harry chanted a quiet “yes, yes,” as he stroked his cock faster. He couldn’t keep his own moans at bay even if he tried. Between the throbbing of his cock as he fucked himself and the sounds Y/N made when she was close made it impossible for him to be quiet. “Gonna make me come,” he spoke slowly into the phone.

“Yeah, please,” she moaned at his words as her fingers sped up, her orgasm ready to burst.

“Shit,” he extended the word with a groan as he pumped his cock until he held himself still at his base and his orgasm coated his fingers and stomach. He was quiet for a few seconds, Y/N holding her breath until she heard him gasp once he was finished. She pictured what she envisioned him to look like with his head thrown back and his neck extended as he came all over himself, moaning at the image her mind created for her.

Her neck extended back as the first sparks of her orgasm hit her, slowing her fingers to let the tingles wash over her. “Harry,” she whispered as her core clenched and pulsed around the fingers she held deep inside herself.

“Fuck baby,” his voice was pure gravel, a small moan escaping his throat as he listened to her come. Her moans were wanton and full and instantly made him think of how well she would squeeze his cock if it was inside her.

They were quiet for a moment as they both caught their breath. Y/N’s knees extended back into the water as the rest of her body went lax. “How’s it always so good?” she asks, her voice breathy and slow.

“We’re just fuckin’ good together,” he laughed, shuffling to grab the tee shirt that happened to be beside his bed to clean himself up.

“We really are,” she giggled. “It’s kind of crazy though.”

“Is it?”

“Well yeah, I get off better with you and you’re not even here.” Her voice had that soft post orgasm tone that he loved. The one that made her words sort of mumble together and her volume lower a few decibels. Her gentle tone making the hair on the back of his neck stand up.

“I’ve never gotten off this good,” he admits quietly.

“Really?”

“Yeah. I mean, I’ve met people I really click with but we’re… different. Don’t you think?” His hair stood up for a different reasons now, his heartbeat prominently making itself heard in his ears.

“I’m definitely comfortable with you,” she chuckled in reply.

Harry was quiet for a few seconds as his mind fought over what he wanted to say next. “Makes you wonder what’d we really be like together..” he trailed off, feeling his cheeks warming from his suggestion.

“Right,” she giggled softly.

They were quiet again. Harry was willing her to say something else, anything. To give him any indication that maybe she was curious about what he was really like too.

“Oh,” she finally spoke up, making his pulse pick up again. “You called me baby.”

His pulse remained quick even with his disappointment. She was hard to read, her tone didn’t give any indication of how she felt about him calling her that, making him nervous and unsure how to reply.

“Do you like being called that?” He took a shot in the dark. Hoping she did.

“I love it,” she spoke softly.

“S’okay if I call you it sometimes?”  He asked, trying to control his breathing. That simple question making butterflies erupt in his stomach, hoping she’d allow that bit of intimacy.  

“Of course.”

He could hear her smile, causing more butterflies as heat crawled up his neck. “Good,” he murmured, stretching his body across his bed, willing his pulse to relax.

She hummed as she moved, the sound of the water swishing coming through his speaker. “God, I have to get out of here,” she muttered with what he imagined was a pout on her face. “Don’t wanna,” she sounded even more pouty and it made his lips curl into a smile.

“Just add more hot water,” he suggested with a laugh only to hear her whine in response.

“No then I’ll fall asleep and get a stiff neck,” she chuckled. “Hold on.”

He could hear the water fall off her body as she stood. He pretended he knew what she looked like as she stood in her tub, her skin glistening from the water sticking to it. He pictured her wrapping herself in a fluffy towel and carefully stepping out of tub to hopefully get into her bed, warm and naked.

“Do you have guitar lessons tomorrow?” She asked as she dried herself off.

“Yeah first one’s at 7:30.”

“I don’t know how you do it. I would be exhausted if I stayed up this late when I have work in the morning,” she laughed, flicking her bathroom light off before she padded across the room to crawl into her bed.

“I’m used to it,” he laughed softly.

“Well I’m gonna let you go since you won’t do it,” she teased. “Plus I know as soon as my head hits this pillow I’ll pass out.”

“Sure, love. Sleep tight.”

“Night, Harry.”  

She watched the call end, falling back to her pillow as she sprawled her arms and legs out, dropping her phone onto the bed. Normally the mixture of Harry’s voice and an intense orgasm lulled her right to sleep. But tonight? Tonight she stared at her ceiling for a while with thoughts of what her and Harry could be like if she allowed them to get together.    

*** 

masterlist || talk to me

(Part Three)

[aaronhart93-archive]

discord text/facetime call || aaroman

Discord thread featuring: Aaron and & @romanbeckett

When: August 26th, 2020 - August 27, 2020

Mentions: @alison-haynes @luca-regio

Description: Roman and Aaron talk about Alison’s conversations with both Aaron and Roman

TW: aaron may or may not call alison a bitch, crying, angry!aaron

Roman.

Does Ali not want Des staying the night with me I guess?

And I love you too

Aaron.

sigh

I don’t know what her deal is

I think she’s been having issues with luca and she’s just being irrational

I’ll text her

Roman.

No it's fine

Aaron.

it’s not

Roman.

It is. If that's what she wants, then that's fine.

Aaron.

it’s not what I want. And she’s 50% me so

she doesn’t get the final say

Roman.

I don't want to cause any issues

She said I can see her a few hours

Aaron.

you’re not causing any issues

Roman.

Just let it be, it's okay. Ali has enough stress going on, we all do. I don't want to upset her

Aaron.

no. It’s fine.

Roman.

bleh

Aaron.

she’s fine. Just being dramatic. Don’t worry about it

Roman.

okay

Aaron.

just um

I may have told her that we got back together right away

just got with it

Roman.

Okay

Aaron.

Alison is blaming me for all of her relationship problems with Luca

Roman.

Of course she is

Aaron.

she’s being so damn petty

I’m in rehab and she’s picking a fight

Roman.

I wish I knew how to help

Aaron.

we’re just going around in circles and I don’t know what to do

I’m honestly so hurt

today sucked. This is the last thing I need

Roman.

I shouldn't have said anything I'm so sorry

Aaron.

it needed to be said anyway

I just don’t know what to do

I’m so pissed of

Roman.

Don't worry about it. I'm just going to back off, and I'll see you Sunday.

Aaron.

Roman

no

I want to see you and Des on her birthday

Roman.

are you sure?

Ugh. Not how I wanted to end my trip. But anyway.

I have to be on at the airport in a couple hours.

Roman.

I love you, but I’ve talked with Alison, and I’m not going to come up Friday. Out of respect for her, and her being uncomfortable, I’m going to step back a bit.

Aaron.

wait

what

WHAT DID SHE SAY

Roman.

she just told me how she’s feeling and I understand. I came on too strong and I’m not Des’ parent. I shouldn’t be acting like I am.

Aaron.

oh my god

what the fuck

oh my god I’m so mad

Roman. Are you okay

Roman.

don’t be mad. She didn’t say those words directly like that, it’s just my perspective.

it’s okay.

Aaron.

what exactly did she say

im sure her words were a lot harsher

Roman.

she’s just scared of losing you both

she needs time to process all this change.

Aaron.

wtf is that supposed to mean

Roman.

I feel weird sharing exactly what she said

Aaron.

she's the one dating a fucking criminal

im so livid

Roman.

just don’t tell her I’m sending this

“Roman: “I know you love Des, and I appreciate everything you do for her. But at the end of the day, Aaron and I will always be her parents. And maybe one day, maybe you will end up being her step parent, but none of us can see the future. So we don’t know if that is what will happen. But right now, you’re not her parent. For a long time, it has always been Aaron, Des and I. That’s it. And things are changing really fast. I mean now there is you and Luca and the baby. I can only handle so many changes at once. And right now, I’m not ready for Destiny to have a “third parent”. I really do appreciate you and all you do for her, and she adores you. I’m sorry, I probably sound like the biggest asshole in the book right now. But half the time I already feel like I’m losing Aaron, I can’t lose Des too.”

Aaron.

oh my god

she did not say that to you

Roman.

it’s fine Aaron

Aaron.

it's far from fine

Roman.

I’ll just see you Sunday, and then come visit one day next week.

Aaron.

Roman,

im so upset i cant even tell you

Roman.

don’t be upset okay? Just focus on what you’re doing there, and it’ll all be okay. I’m fine. It’s okay.

I got ahead of myself because I love des so much.

Aaron.

you're not ahead, Ali is behind

Roman.

but she’s right, I’m not her parent. Maybe one day I will be, but I’m not right now.

Aaron.

but you love her like one

Roman.

I do, and that won’t change.

I can wait.

Aaron.

im so upset roman i cant even tell you

im so sorry

this is all my fault

Roman.

no it’s not

I knew Alison was uncomfortable with me being so involved from the beginning, and I did it anyway

Aaron.

bc it's irrational as fuck

Roman.

Aaron it’s not. I mean, maybe I feel a little bad that she feels this way about me, and not Luca, but she doesn’t know me as well as she wants to yet. Idk, I’m trying to understand here. I just don’t want you two to fight over me.

Aaron.

that's what im saying. she's being such a fucking hypocrite

Luca's a fucking criminal

and he gets to spend the whole day with my daughter

she thinks because she's having his baby that that someone invalidates that we've actually been together more than luca and alison have

Roman.

she must see something in him we haven’t been able to yet.

Aaron.

fuck that.

she's being such a bitch

Roman.

don’t say that

Aaron.

am i wrong

Roman.

I don’t think she has ill intentions here. She’s just a little blinded right now.

Aaron.

she's so stubborn

she always thinks she right

im so damn sick of it, i've let it slide for so many years

and i know she thinks she's a better parent than me

Roman.

Aaron no she doesn’t, come on.

Aaron.

she’d never admit it but she does

look at her now. Thinking she knows what’s best for Des and not taking what I have to say into consideration

Roman.

she’s just upset right now, maybe she’ll be thinking clearer tomorrow.

Aaron.

if I wasnt locked you this wouldn’t be flying

* up

Roman.

it’s okay.

Aaron.

it’s literally not

Roman.

listen to me. I need you to breathe. Relax for a minute. I’m okay, we’re okay. Everything is okay, and will continue to be okay.

Aaron.

I know you are more upset than you’re letting on

Roman.

I’m upset, but it is what it is right now. Im on my way to the airport and I can’t let myself get too worked up about it at the moment. I just have faith it’ll all work out.

Aaron.

Roman.

I just

I don’t know

I don’t want to get you any more upset before getting on your flight

Roman.

why? Did something else happen?August 27, 2020

Aaron.

no I just still want to go off about this

bc it’s bullshit but I’ll stop

for now

Roman.

Aaron nothing is going to get solved with anger though

Aaron.

not now

Roman.

what?

Aaron.

if I were in New York this would be different

Roman.

maybe it’s good that you’re not. Everyone needs to calm down.

Aaron.

I feel like I can’t breathe

Roman.

Aaron.

Facetime calls Aaron and waits for him to pick up while sitting outside the airport

Aaron.

answers “I’m fine. I’m fine.”

Roman.

“I needed to see you to determine that for myself.” blinks, and then takes in a ragged breath while running a hand over his face

Aaron.

clears his throat and wipes his puffy eyes, takes a deep breath “I’m fine.”

Roman.

“You’re clearly not fine. Babe...” looks over the screen, and sighs “You’ve been crying. Please don’t cry...it’s going to be okay. I promise you.”

Aaron.

just tries not to break down in front of Roman because he knows he’s having a hard time with this news. Takes a deep breath “This is so fucked.”

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

“Baby.” looks over screen with concerned expression, wishing more than anything he wasn’t so far away. “Aaron. Listen to me. Alison is going through a lot of stress, she will come around. What’s important right now is that you focus on your recovery, and I will take care of the rest. Alison and I will work this out. You two are too sensitive right now to come to an intelligent conclusion right now. And then on down the line, everything will work itself out between you two as well, between all of us.”

Aaron.

“I’m just...” aaron hangs his head and covers his face with his free hand, taking slow, shaky breaths “I can’t lose either of you. Oh my god...” he attempts to steady his breath again “I know the intelligent conclusion. She’s being irrational.”

Roman.

if Roman could climb through the screen right now, he would. “Aaron, you’re not going to lose anyone. Ali isn’t going anywhere, and neither am I. We’re all going to work on this together. look at me.” he tilts his head, and sucks both lips into his mouth, trying not to cry. “Everyone gets irrational sometimes. Ali is a good person, and she’s not dumb. She’ll come around, and we’ll find a solution that works for everyone.”

Aaron.

takes a deep breath in another attempt to steady his shaky breath. He sniffles, rubs his eyes then Finally looks back at camera at his man “Okay”. he looks at Ro and prays he doesn’t start crying “I just don’t know...and Roman told was just awful. I haven’t been this depressed since my dad died. It’s so hard here. And I want a drink so damn bad. And Ali just... unable to hide his tears, he lets a few tears fall “made this so much worse.”

Roman.

looks worried, eyes darting back and forth as he tries to think of how to fix this situation. “Do I need to come get you? Is there anyone you can talk to right now?”

Aaron.

puts his head between his knees and lets out a few more sobs, looks back up into the camera yeah — I...no you don’t have to come get me... not yeah. But yeah...I can go outside and talk with a counselor now.” he looks towards the door

Roman.

nods, and tries to keep himself together just like he had all night, knowing what Aaron really needed right now was stability. “Okay baby. Go talk to a counselor, and then text me. I don’t board for another couple hours. Okay? I love you.”

Aaron.

sighs, thinks about how grateful he is for Roman “thank you. I love you, too. I’ll text you when I’m done. I’m sorry.”

August 27 - 2am EST

Roman.

hope you’re okay. I’m boarding my plane.

Aaron.

yeah

she talked to me for a while hour

Roman.

are you feeling any better?

Aaron.

a little

I’m just exhausted now

have a safe flight babe.

Roman.

okay. I’ll let you get some rest then.

Aaron.

I hope you sleep on the plane

are you okay

Roman.

as long as you are.

Aaron.

I’m not. But I’m fine for now.

Roman.

okay

well try and get some sleep then.

I love you.

Aaron.

I love you

[bionicdragonguardian1]

Ranma 2/4

Part 3; Final: chapter 26-38

After this it’s on to good and proper timeline deliberation

These two are honest-to-God morons and I want to punch them in the face

*sigh* Ranma…

Y’know I almost had hope that this differed in the manga

Guess not

I DO NOT approve of alienation

However, getting emotional character development out of Ranma is like pulling teeth

So alienate away

Emotional Oof

THANK YOU!

*chuckles* Ryoga, you’re great

BREATHE

He’s dying don’t kill him early

FINALLY!

Ooo

didn’t see that coming

*tightly* I’m fine

okay, Ranma, you know what to do

*heaves giant ass sigh* RANMA!

*screams*

Look I know no chill, kay, shut up

RIP my shipping heart

*sighs* FUCK!

Not gonna lie, I’m Ranma

Careful, Akane might kill you

And with the way Hinako’s acting she deserves it

I’m actually with Nabiki on this one

I love how Ranma is rolling with this

Ooo that’s gonna sting

Those 3 are terrifying, honestly

Hinako, your timing is awful

STOP USING RANMA AS YOUR LANDING PAD SHAMPOO!

Ranma blubbering hurts WAY more than I thought it would

Ranma, you’re digging your own grave here

Someone call me when he learns his lesson FINALLY

*cringes* Yikes, tbh I can’t tell if she’s playing him

Ranma you shit

WHY

Why is it always Kuno?!

Oof this gonna hurt w Kuno’s understanding of Ranma’s curse

Expect all Ranma and Kuno- especially Ranko- interactions to hurt really bad

Ukyo, you’re an idiot

You too Ryoga

Honestly

Alright, that’s funny

Ukyo, you’re lucky they’re dumb

Oh God, you two are SO wrong, but I love it

Aaand what does that say about you two Akane?

Ooo I could make this really mean

It’s SO tempting

Well, that went nowhere

Poor Ranma

So many trans vibes, honestly

*screams* HOW? Who? WHY?!

Wha-wha-what?!?!

Ouch, that’s gonna sting SO bad

heheh

Ouch, that hurt surprisingly more than I thought it would

Further proof that Genma SUCKS

Just this once, gimme soft

PLEASE

Close enough…

Okay, this fight was AWESOME!!

*sigh* Why am I even surprised by Genma’s reasoning anymore?

If Ranma cries, Imma cry

Excuse me while I go scream

I literally don’t even know what to do with this

Chuck it in the fuck it bucket and move on, I guess

okay, the end was funny though

Soun, is that bird didn’t look out of it’s gourd I’d believe you

*Chucks whole birdhouse* “fair”

A+ pic of Ranma

In his defense, he can argue something else, they just won’t listen cuz Shampoo won’t go with the truth

Alright, so Shampoo is smart, but with Ranma she’s an idiot

Wouldn’t the smart idea be to send Ranma AND Akane in with all 4 objects at the start?

Ok, Shampoo Sleep-Fighting is funny

Ranma is so underwhelmed that he’s just not even caring anymore

How Kasumi the scariest one to be possessed

Alright, anything with Nabiki on the cover worries me

Holy Shit he played Nabiki

I’d be impressed if I wasn’t annoyed to hell

Let’s all be glad right now that Genma never mastered this

Where do you think he would’ve sent it?

My inclination’s the Tendos

If nothing else I’m impressed by Nabiki

Now play this man like a kazoo PLEASE

When Ranma lectures you on how you’re acting like kids, you done fucked up

I’m with Ranma

Are you sure Akane?

Cuz I’m not

Heheheheh

Thems the breaks Ranma

You deserve it

Holy Shit Ryoga, nice

Now, I understand that Pigs are your life, but you might be dead

And honestly, I don’t blame him

Okay, that one’s gonna hurt

No matter how you slice it

Morality, Ranma, I know you have it

I hate this

Ok, that was uncalled for

Ranma he’s gonna kill you

Also WTF are you thinking?!?

Oof

Wait… what?

I’m officially concerned

Ok, I actually kinda like this interlude

Akane… seriously, trust is a thing you need to learn

One would think she’d learn…

Okay, that is actually creepy

I would too Ranma, I would too

Jesus fucking Christ, you suck Happosai

LetRanmaMeetHisMomCOVID19!

Gemma you shit

Happosai, go fuck yourself

Nevermind, don’t let him meet her, this is ridiculous

“Where’s the fridge?” “Akane wanted it”

I shouldn’t’ve laughed as hard as I did

*sigh* I just want Ranma to have ONE normal parental figure in his life, is that too much to ask?!

I already hate this idea

He comes back Imma scream

Since when?

On what planet does penpal = boyfriend/girlfriend?

Ryoga, PICK ONE!

I’m getting annoyed with you Ryoga, which sucks cuz you’re one of my faves

Ryoga, how are you this gullible?

You deserved that Ranma

I would wish the fate of being Kuno’s wife on no one

Ever

Congrats Ukyo you’ve actually made me freak out

I don’t appreciate it

At all

*shudders*

Oh this is SO weird

Of y’all keep making comments like this WHY do you keep trying?!

Nevermind it’s Hiroshi and Daisuke, they’re in the know

I’m going to say it again

AKANE LEARNS TO SWIM LIKE A NORMAL PERSON!

This is why you don’t buy cheap food people

I can’t lie, I’ve been waiting for Akane to get possessed

That moment when the ghost is honestly being a bit too sensitive

Actually, he didn’t, so shut up

I could make the Hawaiian thing so Explicit

But I won’t, cuz y’know consequences and stuff

I’m not going to ask how Ashura drowned at Josenkyo

Taro, quit being a dick, you turn into a Minatour-like thing

God he’s dumb

When Crazy and Crazy wanna duke it out, Ranma’s got the right idea

Excuse me, what?!

Ooo, now you’ve made Akane mad, run

Wtf is wrong with you, Kodachi, he’s literally unconscious!

I think that was almost character development?

I can’t tell

Ranma should not look that good in a suit

Whoa, she actually like… said it

Damn

Everyone’s got 4 sec to start treating Ranma like a person

Oof, right in his pride

Akane, I need you to stop being cute for 3 sec so I can focus

Yeah, I ain’t making it dormant

Ranma, I can’t tell if this is sexism or jealousy, either way it looks ugly on you

“At least he’s scaring the cats” harsh Kasumi

Okay, so I’m 90% sure it’s just jealousy, which better but still ugh

Ranma, you can be kickass when Akane is too

Ya goddamn moron

I’m going to beat that into him

There will probs be some angst about that

Not gonna lie

Look I’m good at it

Sorry

Ranma, if you want to get MURDERED that’s the way to do it

Smooth one, idiot

Called out

You better do this right or I swear, I’ll kill you myself, Ranma

I believe that is a fail

Of epic proportions, congrats

You NEED to learn to keep your mouth shut Soun

Awww

But he’s not lying!

Ranma, just run, she’s actually pissed this time

FUCKING RUN!

Alright, Akane, NO

You’re playing into the patriarchy

Oh, right… 80’s...

I’m changing that!!

Oh My God PLEASE tell me Ranma gets deaged!! Please!

Ranma’s got more patience for assholes than I do

Jesus

Hah

He deserved that

Part of me wants to see Kasumi actually get pissed off

YES!!

I LOVE degaging plots!

Ranma, I want you to math that one out, just a little

YES!

I am LIVING for this!

There is so much wrong with that sentence Kodachi

Ok, that was a little too cruel Akane

Someone either get Mousse recognized as Legally Blind

Or someone get him glasses that work!

Either one, but PLEASE

I just got a “draw me like one of your french girls” joke from a horse

Even though the widespread joke is LITERALLY at least 30 years later than this image

OOF

Ice Cold

We’re running out of chapters for her to find out

She better have a canon way of doing it otherwise I’m gonna be really mean with it…

Bean… Gun… Plant…

Eh Seen weirder

Aww Valentine’s Day chapter!

Yes!

Poor Ranma

These two are blind to each other

Heheh

Aww

I love these dorks

Heheh oops, busted

I still just find the principal an honest annoyance

Wait… when did Ranma start wearing a school uniform?

Congrats Miss Hinako!

I just now realized that I’m going to have write someone who is ok with having a female chest

Gag me with a spoon

Bleh

I’m bad at that

I really do want to give Ranma clothes that do actually fit his female form

Ranma needs to look at the terms and conditions of good curse

Cuz this is getting creative

Uh oh

Ranma you have a brain, please use it

Hehe, she’s doing her body laundry

Oh shit

THANK YOU SOUN!

Fucking Happosai

Why are you the actual worst!

Oh shit

Goddammit Nodoka

That one was ALL on you

I expected this from Nabiki, but wtf Nodoka?!

Happosai you twisted fuck

Heheheh alright that’s funny

If nothing else Shampoo is sneaky

WHY is that the only way to undo it?!

Poor Akane she is so lost

Aw, poor Ryoga

Definitely not, Akane, but thank you for posing that question

Thank you for calling him out on his ego

This would be hilarious to see this before anyone had any bit of a clue about Ranma’s two forms

Also, Ranma, you need to keep her safe from the Kunos 

 *sigh* Akane, you’re wrong 

 Ooo, not good 

 And that is what no self control looks like folks 

 What is with that ending? 

 And this is what manipulation look like folks 

Also, y’know, robbing someone blind 

 I’m assuming this is Konatsu and I love them already 

 I’m using they/them cuz I’m unsure of what pronouns to use 

 Y’know I thought the Cinderella thing was a joke, turns out I was wrong 

 I do not understand Konatsu’s thought process w Ukyo at all 

 Also, can you not knock them out? 

 I am forgetting the name of that one Hero from Supergirl but if my understanding Konatsu is correct I’m DEFINITELY going to do that

Yeah, that’s NOT how that’s gonna go over 

 Okay, can we all agree that the trick Kuno used on Ranma is HORRIBLE, right? 

 Wholeass mood for Ranma 

 Like you two need to shut up 

 I just want Ranma to wear a sun shirt and trunks to the beach ONCE 

Ryoga… how are you so lost that you came up through the ground? 

Ranma, how are you both a dick and a good friend at the same time? 

 Just tell me How on Earth did Akari justify the hot water for Ryoga with revealing that he’s Pchan 

 I’d like to think that’d be something they wouldn’t skip over 

 No questions, just punches a grave 

 Why does that grave hit back? 

 Honestly Nodoka almost finding is stressing me out 

 I could be SO angsty with the Neko-ken Fear thing 

 Someone tell me not to I’m that much of an asshole 

So glad that she’s apparently gonna learn bc I would’ve been SO mean 

God, Genma you actually suck 

 Oh, thank God she’s not too smart 

 The fact that he’s 300% ready to die is actually depressing 

 That was actually quite touching

If we ignore the way Ranma phrasing that is just plain wrong

Uhm… what?

 C-can she do that?

I hope not

God, you two are so dumb!

Is her definition of “manly” emotionless?!

Bitch, have a heart!

Oh God make them ALL leave! ALL OF THEM!

You feel? You said “you’re leaving”

 Ranma, the fact that you didn’t put that together I can’t help you Like my dad says “I can’t fix stupid”

The fact that he feels the need to run screaming from his own house…

Nabiki, WHY

I’m convinced at this point that there is something Nabiki HATES about Ranma and that’s why she’s making his life a living hell

Cuz you do realize at least ⅓ of his problems are because she told someone something that was private

I can’t tell if that’s an insult or a backhanded comment

Either way, RUDE

I can’t tell, is that Konatsu or is that Tsubasa?

Must go back and check cuz Akane’s comment about “trasvestite and a homosexual” confused me since Ranma mentioned being “the first male kunoichi”But then who HAS TO BE Tsubasa says they’re a straight guy

*sigh*

 Yep, nope, that’s Konatsu

My understanding was that Konatsu was like actually trans in canon

Apparently I mixed that up

I’m making it canon

 MtF Konatsu

 Bisexual Konatsu

One of these days someone is going to teach people to cook before assuming they know what they’re doing

 Seriously It’s not that hard

Did they seriously just try to marry an unconscious Akane to Ranma?!

What The Fuck?!

Aww, she’s cute

Ryoga has a bad sense of direction, but he’s never missed before…

Okay, that’s a little strange

Why is she hatching?

Poor Mousse

Lol, that was so sweet until Ranma was dumb

It’s still sweet, who am I kidding

“Do I look like I wear Totoro underwear” oh that’s GOLDEN

Le shit

 Firstly, Genma is still and idiot

Second, how is he already in Moscow?!

Third, why do I find this hilarious

Oh fuck

YES Kick her ass Akane!

I’m confused

Ok, was heralding back to the first chapter intentional?

Why does he have the staff in the bath?

Ok, I THINK I know what’s happening here…

Oof Can you two leave?

Ok, I was DEAD wrong

Wait…

If she…

If the DROWNED AKANE Imma commit murder

Damn, if you wanna piss off Ranma that’s how you do it

I don’t know why anyone would think pissing him off is smart

Oh, thank God, she’s okay

What is with this kid?

Why is he such a pain in the ASS?!

So I know she’s not dead

Unless SEVERAL DOZEN Fanfics have lied to me

Which is entirely possible since they were all listed as AUs

Uhm… Ranma… you okay?

Good, get him out cuz he’s clearly in shock

 This hurts

Okay, hate to be the one who complains that Akane’s not dead, but that doesn’t track

At all

Can I rescience this?

Please?

Am I going to be an ass about it, probably, but it’s me no one should be surprised by that in any way

“Honored and crazy guest” I mean, accurate

Alright, Shampoo you’ve got exactly 1 chance

Then I’ll maybe apologize for calling you names constantly

Oh I am gonna be such an asshole in this scene

Also extend it some

Oh, God I could be such a dick

I’ll restrain

I’ll just write one-shots instead

Mousse do the right thing

You have a Moral Compass I know that!

“Anytime THIS YEAR!” Damn the witty quips

Yeah, but you won morally

That’s what’s important

Why the Scooby-Doo line?

Go Ranma!

Ok, so that comment about Ranma basically fighting a God is NOT an overstatement

Noted

Congrats Ranma you made me Google a word

Turns out it is a word that had its height of use in the 80s

Neat

Explains why I had no clue what it meant

Someone shoot those damn chicken brains OUT OF THE SKY!

 “Only rocks”, rocks Ryoga just confirmed are 3 Tons

*sigh* I’m gonna have to physics the shit out of that

Joy

I cannot tell you the amount my heart dropped when I saw a full color double spread

Jesus Christ

DAMN

You’re gonna make me cry, dammit

Aww

YAY!

Heheh poor Ranma

Chill, hun, you’re good

Aww he’s tiny!

WHAT IS WITH YOU 2?!

STOP trying to marry your kids while they’re unconscious!

I’m not crying you are!

*tightly* I’m fine

Kodachi LET IT GO

 Literally everyone else too! I hate you all

Just so it’s on the record I’m pissed

Ok, so “back to the start” is definitely an oversimplification because Akane knows Ranma loves her Ranma knows she knows

Akane! Your turn!

Ooo, IDEA!