#bleedsin

[pyreshegone]

ZAGREUS - Are there any cycles they seem to never escape? Any lessons constantly following them?

the cycle of abuse is the biggest one. and the worst part? she’s self aware. she knows that ryan is unhinged enough that one day there’s a real chance he’ll go too far and hurt her so bad he kills her, but it’s a risk she’s willing to take if it means not being sent back to foster care. besides. ryan isn’t always bad, she’ll tell herself. she’ll lie convincingly. so convincingly even she believes it sometimes. ryan can be nice sometimes. he taught her how to ride a bike and how to fish and climb trees. sometimes he’ll pick her up after school or ballet and offer to take her to get ice cream and buy her as many toppings as she wants and she can forget that the bruise on her eye is from his anger for just a moment.

at least until he gets angry again. and he always gets angry again.

[bleedfaithar]

[    STRONGARM    ]    for    your    muse    to    use    force    to    make    my    muse    do    something  /   @bleedsin

†            ⋯            ROMANS  13  :  9    THOU  SHALT  NOT  KILL.            words  she  was  raised  by.  drilled  into  her  head  at  every  mass  in  the  convent  and  now  those  words  were  being  questioned  in  her  mind.  it  is  but  for  the  will  of  GOD.  if  it  were  god  telling  her  to  do  these  things,  would  it  not  be  a  sin  to  disobey?  she  had  heard  the  words  of    '    god    '  since  she  was  a  child  and  even  now  the  voices  of  an  '  angel  '  comes  from  gabriel  every  morning  when  she  wakes  to  confess.  wide  silvered  eyes  looked  up  at  the  one  person  in  this  life  she  trusted  (  albeit  blindly  )  above  all  else.  his  fingers  curled  almost  painfully  around  her  delicate  wrist  before  he  shoved  the  ornate  dagger  into  her  hand.  "  you  were  chosen  by  god,  my  mercy.  "  the  words  he  spoke  eased  her  mind  as  her  fingers  gripped  metal    tight  enough  that  she  could  almost  guarantee  her  hand  would  be  cut.  the  body  on  the  altar  was  one  she  didn't  know  --  some  passerby  who  sought  refuge  in  their  small  town  but  the  angel  had  chosen  him  for  sacrifice.

"  the  blood  of  the  lamb  will  wash  us  clean.  "

the  words  fell  from  her  lips  like  a  hymn  and  the  fight  in  her  eased  as  atticus  urged  her  hand  with  dagger  wielded  and  once  the  tip  slipped  past  the  skin  it  was  mercy's  own  will  that  drove  it  home.  she  knew  that  the  angel  in  which  she  heard  was  no  angel  at  all,  but  her  will  would  be  done  regardless.  her  whole  body  leaned  into  the  effort  to  make  sure  the  dagger  did  what  was  intended  and  soon  a  fine  tremble  began  in  her  hands  and  travelled  up  her  arms.  it  was  a  rush,  that  was  for  sure.  she  figured  the  first  was  always  the  hardest,  and  mercy  looked  up  at  atticus  with  a  wanting.  for  approval,  for  praise  of  something  well  done.  something  --  anything  to  show  that  he  was  proud  of  her.  

[publiclyabsent-moved]

@bleedsin:    “  you swallow your words and bury your thoughts so often.  i would love to see the day it all comes barreling out.  ”

          eyes widen, if only slightly. words are often swallowed & swapped for her own ease, thoughts buried due to the harm they cause her. annette’s long-lasting quiet could be called selfish, more so than her making herself small for others. she ignores herself to keep from spiraling. small frame squirms under scrutiny. “it -- it w ... won-n’t be ... as. as e -- exciting as you ... as you -- m -- might th-think. re -- really, i. i’m not ... i’m jus-st ... boring.”

meme.   /   accepting.

[frightes-arch]

@bleedsin​  ASKED    ↴​

" 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄'𝐒 𝐀 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐋𝐘 𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔. "

         𝐋𝐘𝐃𝐈𝐀   𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐒   𝐀𝐓   𝐇𝐈𝐌.   she   does   not   understand   how   someone   so   holy   can   see   the   rot   beneath   her   sheen.   arms   cross   over   her   chest   to   create   distance   from   the   feeling.   lydia   is   still   adorned   in   all   black.   perpetually   mourning   the   loss   of   her   mother.   feeling   the   weight   of   life   try   to   press   through   the   seams   and   force   her   to   be   more   than   a   shell.   she   wet   her   lips   before   looking   away   from   atticus.   “   i   think   they   call   that   grief.   ”   she   responds.   although   it   could   very   well   be   that   was   living   a   half   life   here.   the   netherworld   from   beyond   seemed   to   draw   her   closer   as   her   ties   to   the   other   side   grew.   “   maybe   you   haven’t   felt   it   before.   ”

[horrormaestro-aaaaaaa]

𝐭𝐚𝐠  𝐝𝐮𝐦𝐩.          updated  /  new  tags.

[pyreshegone]

💭 lmao yes please

if he makes any sudden movements, i’m gonna fucking fry him. just give me a reason.

thoughts livvy’s had about your muse

[bleedfaithar]

Follow  me  down  to  the  river,  drink  while  the  water  is  clean Follow  me  down  to  the  river  tonight  I'll  be  down  here  on  my  knees

                                                     indie      private      affiliated      cult      based      oc      mercy      daniels.         sideblog.      21+      for      dark      &      heavy      themes.       HEAVILY      affiliated      with      @bleedsin.  

[unbelong-moved]

just a reminder that a) most of my activity happens on the weekend and b) i’m mostly over at @bleedsin still, so that’s why stuff here has been slow.

[bleedfaith]

†       JEREMIAH  1  :  9  .   Then  the  Lord  put  forth  his  hand,  &  touched  my mouth.  &  the  Lord  said  unto  me,  ‘  Behold,  I  have  put  my  words  in  thy  mouth �� .             ⋯                    independent & selective HEAVILY AFFILIATED original muse MERCY DANIELS. dark, heavy & religious themes present .   do not follow if you are under twenty one. ​

​   CARRD | CULT HEIERARCHY | AESTHETICS | PLAYLIST | MEMES

@bleedsmokes​ † @bleedsin​ † @bleedsaint​ † @bleedmercy​ † @bleedpain​ † @brainwrangler​

[shewalked]

HOW  DOES  YOUR  MUSE  CARRY  EMOTIONS  ?

bold   —   always.     italic   —   sometimes.     strike   —  never.

ANGER,     jaw clenching.  hands balling into fists.  teeth grinding.  yelling.  going nonverbal.  stuttering speech.  rushed speech.  slow, concise speech.  rambling.  quiet.  arms crossing.  shaking head.  tearing up.  animated.  expressionless.  projects.  internalises.  vents.  withdraws.  passive aggressive.  direct.  physical outburst ( destroys items/throws things/punches walls )  verbal outbursts.

JOY,     easy smiles.  fighting back grins.  suppressed laughter.  loud laughter.  giggles.  chuckling smirks.  whole body laughs.  covers mouth when laughing/giggling.  throws head back when laughing.  slaps leg.  touches people around them when laughing.  looks down when laughing.  looks for eye contact when laughing.  sparkling eyes.  bubbly happiness.  quiet,  subtle happiness.  obnoxious happiness.  wants to spread joy.  quietly savours joy.

SADNESS,     crying.  bottling it up.  seeks distractions.  wallows.  eyes appear red.  meditates and processes.  avoidance.  seeks out comfort.  withdraws.  talks it out.  internalises it.  sad smiles.  depression naps.  uses alcohol.  uses drugs.  seeks out sources of joy.  fidgets with sentimental item.  sits in silence.  broods.  gets moody.  wants someone to share the misery.  tries to hide negative emotions.  nurtures others to make themselves feel better.

EMBARRASSMENT/SHAME,     blushing.  looking away.  rubbing at back of head.  covering face.  laughing nervously.  laughs it off.  overthinks.  lets it go.  self-deprecating humour.  deflects.  gets irritated.  smiles.  withdraws.  crossing arms over stomach.  crossing arms over chest.  hands in pockets.  shoulders sinking.  shrugs.  falling into silence until comfortable again.  talking a lot to compensate.

GUILT,     avoiding eye contact.  shoulders sinking low.  head hanging down.  crying.  chest aches.  lashes out.  internalises.  apologises.  deflects.  communicates.  withdraws.  grand gestures for forgiveness.  accepts fault easily.  punishes themselves.  martyrdom.  victim complex.  over-active guilt complex.  healthy conscience.  internalises even after forgiveness.  seeking redemption.  moves on easily.  denial.  lack of guilt/conscience.  sorry they got caught more than caused harm.  can’t handle knowing they hurt others.

FEAR/ANXIETY,     trembling.  crying.  uses sarcasm/sass to cope.  rambles.  goes silent.  gets angry.  fidgeting.  clenching jaw.  picking at nails.  chewing at lip.  pulling at clothes.  adjusting jewellery/clothing.  swallowing thickly.  eyes widening.  over-reacts.  under-reacts.  calm.  logical.  panic.  uses  alcohol.  uses  drugs*.  irrational.  overthinks.  carefully analyses.  talks to themselves.  breathing exercises.  fight.  flight.  withdraws.  fawns.

TAGGED,     stole  from  @bleedsin​. TAGGING,     steal  from  me x

*  -  in  regards  to  “uses  drugs”  this  is  in  terms  of  prescription  medication  such  as  pain  relief  and  sleep  aids  or  sedatives.  as  a  doctor,  martha  is  well  aware  of  the  risk  of  addiction  and  she  is  very  careful  when  she  resorts  to  using  this  method.  i  added  both  “uses  alcohol”  and  “uses  drugs”  to  the  fear/anxiety  section  because  i  think  they  can  also  be  a  coping  mechanism  in  that  regard.

[pyreshegone]

“ i’ve never seen anything like you. “

for better or worse, there is nothing else like her. it’s unsettling to hear him say it aloud, though, voice a mix of curiosity and almost-reverence. like the boys in her class talking about war games and gory things they don’t fully understand. she takes a step forward despite herself, over the man’s blackened desiccated hand.

“ are you scared? ”

mcu starters

[bleedfaithar]

...               if   the   HEAVENS   ever   did   speak,   she's   the   last   TRUE   mouthpiece.

indie   private   affiliated   cult   based   oc   mercy   daniels.      sideblog.   21+   for   dark   &   heavy   themes.      HEAVILY   affiliated   with   @bleedsin.   

[unbelong-moved]

got my nails done 💅 gonna settle in in about an hour and then i'll be between @bleedsin and here.

[pyreshegone]

BLOODBATH - Would they ever kill for fun?

no. she’d be capable of murder for sure, but only if she felt sure there were no other options.

[unbelong-moved]

follow @bleedsin cause that's where i'll be for awhile xoxo

[bleedfaithar]

†       JEREMIAH  1  :  9  .   Then  the  Lord  put  forth  his  hand,  &  touched  my mouth.  &  the  Lord  said  unto  me,  ‘  Behold,  I  have  put  my  words  in  thy  mouth ‘ .             ⋯                    independent & selective original muse MERCY DANIELS.   dark, heavy & religious themes present .   do not follow if you are under twenty one. sideblog to @spydered​

                              CARRD | CULT HEIERARCHY | AESTHETICS | PLAYLIST | MEMES

                                       †                                         ⋯                                          †                                            @bleedsin, @bleedpain, @bleedsaint,                                  @bleedsmokes, @bleedmercy​ & @brainwrangler