#blank the series ep1

[some1willrememberus]

BLANK The Series เติมคำว่ารักลงในช่องว่าง EP.1

[rares-posts]

Not Me x Portrait of a Blank Slate - Lovejoy

Masterlist of edits

[evilpenguinrika]

i found out there's a like, sequel or maybe not sequel but something tying into gap the series--made obv by another studio--where it's about the eldest sister and i watched the 1st ep and

yo it's so cute??? oh my goodness???

tho i was slightly taken aback that the og studio who did gap weren't the ones who picked this up when i first found out, but tbh i'm fine with that. i'm just super content and i'm glad we get to dive into the eldest sister's story cuz she was super interesting when introduced in gap the series

also the lead actresses' chemistry with each other is so sweet

[call-sign-shark]

Heaven in Your Eyes || Arthur Shelby x Reader!OC

Summary: All it took was one phone call and one visit from Ada to destroy the paradise Arthur had spent one full year building. No matter what he does, his past crimes always seem to catch up with him. Now that you are in danger, he decides to come back to Birmingham and handle the Changretta problem without you.

Words: 5,3K

TW: Angst, canonical description of violence, smut, foreplay, masturbation, self-harm, from the end of this chapter the story will take a darker turn. You've been warned.

Notes:

✞ Based off EP1 S4 of Peaky Blinders but contains many changes and variations for the sake of this series' plot.

✞ Each act features two chapters with smut in it, and they all serve the story's purpose. No more.

✞ Heaven is OP's original character but written with the use of « you » (Moodboard here).

PREVIOUS || Masterlist || NEXT CHAPTER

When Ada’s piercing eyes finally caught sight of the house’s roof through the trees’ thick foliage, she sighed relieved. While the landscape was breathtaking, the walk from her car to the front door had been tedious despite the short distance. In fact, the only way to access the house was to walk a sloped dirt road leading the visitors up to the hill’s summit — which was an almost impossible task to do when wearing classy high heels as was Ada’s case. Arthur did not lie when he said they were living far from the city. The young Shelby sister quickly wiped her forehead with the back of her hand and knocked at the door. She was welcomed by the sight of Arthur, whose magnificent steel blue eyes lit up when he saw his sister, delighted to see her. But far from a courtesy visit, the words that left her mouth broke their siblings' reunion. Like red-hot blades, they slashed Arthur’s hopes of straying away from his gangster life.

All the quietness and peace he had built throughout the year, rendering his anger outbursts less frequent, shattered like a glass smashed on concrete under the power of one sole visit from Ada and her bitter statement: the family was in danger.

No.

You were in danger.

And it was all his fault.

Something had changed in Arthur when he came back from his little talk with Ada. He had barely stepped into the house when you noticed how all the muscles of his body were tensed and how his facial features had turned into a colder expression.

“Arthur.” It has been the third time you called him, but each previous attempt had been left without any reply or reaction. Slumped on the sofa, the oldest Shelby brother was staring at an invisible spot on the wall facing him, his eyes blank and his fingers nervously taping on the left armrest. At first, you thought he just needed a bit of time with himself to swallow the visible bad news he had received from his sister, but two days had passed and now his behavior was starting to worry you.

“Arthur Shelby Jr.” You called with stricter tone this time.

All of sudden, your voice cleared the black fog of his mind and brought him back to reality. Arthur blinked several times as if he could shoo his messy thoughts away by batting his eyelashes, and finally raised his piercing blue eyes toward your graceful frame, that was standing in front of him with its arms crossed. At the serious expression on your doll face, he nervously moistened his lips with the tip of his tongue, his gaze not shifting from you one sole second. God, how gorgeous you were in your silk nightgown, as white as your hair and adorned with complex laces. That was the first thought that had crossed his mind when his gaze fell on you. In truth, he would have probably pinned you to the wall and made your legs shake until you could not walk straight anymore if he hadn’t been plagued by the dreadful news Ada brought upon your harmonious life “Eh, I know…” He started, slightly raising his almost empty whiskey glass towards you, “I shouldn’t be drinking.” He admitted, before lowering his eyes to look at his own reflection in the alcohol. With one small movement from the wrist, he made the amber liquid softly spin in the glass. Arthur was still traumatized by Linda’s constant snarky remarks and humiliations each time he was indulging in whisky, that was why he had felt the need to justify himself now that you saw him drink alone.

“You don’t need my permission to drink, Cheri.” You replied with a soft voice, as soft as a feather’s caress on his poor aching soul. You were definitely not like his former wife: he could do whatever he wanted as long as it wasn’t taking drugs or cheating. That had always been the tacit deal between both of you when things got serious — and to be honest, you had feared the first temptation far greater than the second until you realized that Arthur’s new favorite drug was you.

Your crystal irises had been observing the slightest trait of his face with slightly furrowed brows for one solid minute when you finally let out a little sigh and slid one long ivory strand of hair behind your ear, “I’m just worried. You haven’t eaten anything nor slept for two days straight.” Worst, he had been hugging you tight, burying his face in your breasts and trembling like a leaf because of panic attacks for the last two nights.

“Worried? Eh, no need to be worried, love. Cm’here.” He replied with a little smile, moving one of his long leg to invite you to have a sit on him.

Arthur did try his best not to make you feel anxious but the truth was he was literally unable to hide something from his beloved wife even if he had wished to shield you from it. He had been mulling the news over for days and nights, and it was starting to eat him alive.

You walked to him without further ado, your hips graciously swinging to the rhythm of your steps, and finally sat on his lap. Once you straddled him, you wrapped your arms around his neck and gently rested your forehead against his as you usually did. Arthur let out a sigh of relief as your bodies found each other again, his hands grabbing your hips in an almost bruising grip. He was often a bit blunt, but how much you loved his possessive and suffocating way of touching was indescribable, “Ye didn’t know how much I needed it, eh.” Arthur’s husky voice mumbled, referring to his obsessive and desperate need to constantly have physical contact with you, “How much I needed your touch.” His steel-blue irises dived into yours, losing themselves in the vastness of the frozen ocean that constituted your eyes. He could have stayed like this for eternity, hypnotized by your beauty and lulled by the oh-so-tender way you had slipped your fingers in his hair to gently scratch the shaven back of his head.

“There. I finally see a smile!” You faintly teased him, “Not that I dislike that adorable grumpy face of yours.”

Nothing much had changed since your wedding day, except for your family name and the regular discussions about trying for a baby, all nestled in each other’s arms in your bed with Kaiser sleeping near, in front of the fireplace. In truth, it has been a miracle you were not already pregnant considering Arthur’s stamina and unquenchable desire. The thing was you never left the honeymoon stage despite living together. Against all odds, Arthur Shelby was a sweet and caring husband. He never missed an opportunity to bring you gifts, whether expensive clothes, jewels, or just little flowers he picked on his way back home because it was pretty and made you think about you. Moreover, he had this ability to always manage to find awe in your daily routine, the last example of it being him spending hours observing you and discreetly drawing your frame in his sketchbook because he had spotted you swimming naked in the nearby lake, and was star-stricken by such a divine vision. He had felt like an incredibly lucky Greek artist catching sight of the most stunning nymph the Gods had ever created. Little you knew, his sketchbook was filled with portraits and doodles of you he was too ashamed of to show you. Not that he wanted to keep them for himself, but Arthur always ended up frustrated not being able to properly translate your mesmerizing and ethereal beauty on paper.

Besides your idyllic and peaceful domestic life far from gangster’s troubles, Arthur had also opened a small garage and fixed cars for a living, even if his past activities with the Peaky Blinders gave him enough money to live comfortably without working. But Arthur was surprisingly handy when his patience did not fail him, and he genuinely loved to fix cars — what had been his surprise when you reacted with joy and kissed him tenderly the day he suggested the idea, for Linda never allowed him to do so.

Regarding your own occupation, you had simply followed your mother’s path and worked as both a herbalist and healer — the second occupation being known among people only through word of mouth. That was what your life looked like prior to Ada’s unexpected visit two days ago. Yet, when she left, Arthur’s eyes had turned into a darker shade, the same one he had when he was in Birmingham dirtying his hands on Tommy’s orders.

“Arthur, love. You really need to tell me what’s the matter with your sister…” You gently asked, your fingers still massaging his scalp and your juicy lips sprinkling honey pecks on the corner of his mouth from which the whisky bitterness could be tasted. But despite all your tenderness, your husband remained closed to the idea of sharing his concerns with you.

“It’s… A bit difficult to explain,” He mumbled, shutting his eyes tight, “I don’t want ye to panic or something. I can handle it and…”

“Please.” You cut him off, tightening your arms around him to pull him in a deeper hug. All his body finally relaxed a little bit when your fragile and frozen being collapsed with his, your breasts flattened against his chest and your hips firmly embracing his, “When we’ve met you told me that, from now, it was us against the rest of the world. Even if it was raining and the wind was blowing. You don’t have to face it all alone Arthur, no matter how awful or frightening it is. Let me fight it with you.” You pleaded, your lips grazing his with utter desire and genuine love.

“But I don’t want ye to be in danger.” Arthur finally admitted, reopening his gorgeous eyes to look at you. How much he hated not to share information with you, but Tommy told him it would be better if you ignored everything. Yet, the sensation of your mouth brushing his without kissing it soon stirred a bit of frustration in him. It had been enough to make him flip. With a grunt, he caught your lower lip between his teeth and gently sunk them into your soft flesh, to which you replied with a small surprised moan. Now that he got all your attention, he proceeded to kiss you almost furiously, his worries, dawning anger and blazing desire mixing together. His movements became blunter all of sudden, “I’ll fookin’ kill myself if something bad would happen to ye, eh,” He growled a bit louder against your mouth, his husky voice highlighted by an aggressive tone you hadn’t heard in one full year, “But I’ll destroy ‘em first, eh. These fookin’ wops won’t lay their fingers on ye. They won’t.” He repeated, his venomous anger wakening up slowly and coursing through his rusted veins. A little surprised whimper escaped from your mouth as Arthur’s tongue forced its way between your lips a bit too eagerly.

“Arthur —“

“Fookin’ bastards, how dare they eh?!” The gravel in his voice boomed louder, underlined with a palpable rage now. As he pestered, his mind spinning in a whirlpool of negativity, Arthur grabbed your wrist and led your hand between his legs, pressing it on his half-hardened shaft, for all his brutal emotions more than often led to sex when you were around. It was his, as well as your, way to release tension, “How dare they threaten me eh?” The tall gangster started to breathe loudly through his nose as his rage was increasing. All he needed was the smallest sparkle for him to explode. While he kept your wrist in one hand, his other one ran up your thighs in a rough caress to lift your nightgown eagerly, “Shift these panties, woman.” He said a bit more aggressively than intended, maddened by the overwhelming urge to feel your wet slit all around him. Growling, Arthur’s mouth worked its way down your neck to leave small red marks on your divine ivory skin.

“Arthur, no.” You breathed as you bite down a moan, doing your best to sound strict. As good as it felt, you did not want to give in now: getting distracted by rough sex was out of question, what you wanted was the truth first.

Arthur, no. As soon as your words left your tantalizing lips, they echoed in his head and were enough to snatch him from his violent thoughts. The tall gangster blinked and raised his slightly confused gaze to you, shocked by your vivid refusal. After all, you would usually let him ruin you whenever he needed it so why would you refuse? “You’re hurting me.” You reiterated with a sweeter tone now that you got his attention.

“Oh shit!” He released your wrist in response, guilt beating him down when he realized your skin was redden because of his grip, “I’m sorry…Oh, Angel, I’m bloody sorry…”

Still, you kept your hand there to his greatest surprise. The only difference was that your free fingers went for his cheek to bless him with soothing caresses to reassure him. As always, the cold sensation of your flesh against his managed to tame the wildfire that was burning in his soul, “Calm down...” Your voice was merely a whisper now, similar to the enchanting murmur of a siren singing in the far away distance, “Is this what you want?” You backed up a little bit on his lap to create a little gap between your hips so that you could get a better grip on his bulge. The palm of your hand started to languidly rub it.

“Heaven?” He gasped, the anger in his cold blue eyes suddenly turning into an astonished and beseeching look. But for Arthur Shelby no meant no, hence the fact he did not dare to touch you back, “Oh bloody hell, please…” He gritted through his teeth. As strong as he was, he felt his body weakened and his throat tightened with an unsufferable arousal.

“Now you tell me,” Leaving your sentence hanging, you grabbed him a bit stronger and he whimpered at your unexpected roughness. A long exhale escaped from his nostrils as he focused on both the electrifying sensation that shook his core and the enchanting sight of your lips he dreamt to fuck. Yet, Arthur gathered all his strength and willpower to remain calm, afraid you wouldn’t let him sink into your welcoming warmth if he misbehaved, “What happened with Ada?” You inquired, tilting your head on the side, “What did John tell you when he called you?”

“Eh… Nothing— Ah..” Arthur’s lips parted under the coiling pleasure when you tightened your grip on his shaft, “I— Can’t tell ye, love.”

“No, no. You’re going to tell me. Do you know why? Because you’re a good boy for your wife.” You cooed. Your almost chilling aquamarine irises were anchored in his, burning with an unflickering gleam of power and confidence. Sometimes Arthur wondered how such a delicate and fragile-looking angel like you could hide the seductive and fearful which you truly were. A witch to the others, a goddess to him — And how he liked both of those facets of you, feeding his dominant behavior but also fulfilling his more submissive tendencies when he needed to but was too ashamed to admit it. To be true, you both knew how to balance the power you hold over the other one, and tonight, you were clearly the one in charge, “Are you a good boy, Arthur Shelby?” You teased, one brow raised.

He clenched his fists around the sofa’s blanket in a desperate attempt to find a way to control himself for he almost cum at your praise, “I am…” Arthur slowly rolled his hips, “I’m a good boy for me wife…“ He replied, sucking in a sharp breath, with his quivering hoarse voice, “Please…” He growled in discomfort because his trousers had become far too tight. Nevertheless, you remained unmoved by his supplications and stopped moving your hand, waiting for an answer, “Alright! Alright… Im gonna tell ye!”

“I hope so.” You replied, kneading his bulge again.

“Ada and John told me we’ve all received a Black Hand.” He started, looking at you with impatience. Satisfied, you unbuckled his belt and let your hand work its way into his underwear to grab his hardened cock by its thick base and free it from his trouser. Arthur let out a loud groan, a drop of sweat beading on his forehead. Not only at the sensations but at the sight of your small fingers around his erection.

“What’s a Black Hand?” You kept asking all the while enjoying the sight of your husband’s enamored, begging, and fascinated gaze. He was looking at you, obliterating everything else, for only the words that came from your holy lips mattered.

“Oh fook, Angel… Touch me harder.” He begged in a trembling, almost broken voice. If there was one thing Arthur could not stand that was being teased. Thus it did not take much for you to have him wrapped around your finger. He suddenly bit his lower lip, eyes glistening with ruling passion, for the way the moonlight reflected through the window behind you created a heavenly halo around your head, “Touch me!” Another husky whine. The gangster rolled his hips eagerly, nails digging into the sofa’s fabric.

“Focus, Mon amour. The Black Hand. What is it?” You repeated, pressing a little kiss on his starving and slightly parted mouth while your hand started to jerk him off in slow up-and-down movements. At first, Arthur thought it would soothe the painful hardness of his cock but your far too languid movements only worsened it.

“Ah! The Black Hand yes. It’s a death threat from the Sicilian mafia. They send one to everyone they wanna — oh fook! — wanna kill…” He said through gritted teeth at the feeling of your thumb rubbing the glistening tip of his cock in circular motions, smearing precum on his skin. Arthur rolled his eyes, holding back a desperate cry as your hand pumped him in a way that brought him closer to heaven — or closer to hell, it was getting hard to tell.

“Why would they send you one?” You frowned, stroking a little bit faster.

“Oh bloody motherfucking hell!” He yelled, the gravel in his voice making the house shake as he threw his head back. Yet, he did not shut his eyes tight for looking at you while you masturbated him only strengthened his pleasure. He felt as if he was burning from within, “Cause I killed Changretta’s dad! I’ve put a fookin’ bullet through his skull. And now Tommy wants us to have an emergency reunion!” He spat very quickly, unable to stand it anymore. With a bit of luck, you’d allow him to spill himself now that he told you everything. Arthur let out an ashamed and submissive whimper, turned into a begging mess, “Let me cum! I’ll fookin’ beg on my knees if that’s what ye want! On my bloody knees, I will! but please… Please, Angel… I can’t take it anymore, oh God.”

“Tommy wants you back. Of course.” You winced, as if the bitterness of your own venom had exploded on your tastebuds, still caressing your man absentmindedly.

“Heaven…” He lamented, hiding his face in the crook of his arm, abandoning himself to the pleasure. Arthur moved his hips, trying to thrust his length in your fist in the hope of releasing himself but it wasn’t enough. The way you stroke him kept him at the edge of climax without allowing him to reach it and it was driving him crazy. Your focus shifted back to your husband, whose legs had started to shake like leaves in the wind.

You snapped back to the present moment,“ Oh Arthur,” You purred when you realized that your poor man had reached his limits but still tried to behave himself by not throwing you on the sofa and making you pay for teasing him. Bringing your face closer to his, you laid a myriad of kisses from his scarred throat up to the corner of his mouth, his mustache pleasantly scratching the skin of your face as you did, “Cum for me like the good boy you are.” You whispered in his ear, your siren-like voice intoxicating even more and causing him to whine no matter how hard he tried to bite it down… Goosebumps adorned your body at the arousing sight of Arthur, usually tough and rough, almost crying from pleasure and frustration. A little feverish sight escaped from your mouth, your walls clenching onto nothing. It was enough: he had been good and deserved some kind of relief. Hence, you finally stroked him how he wanted to be stroked, “I’m proud of you Arthur. So proud… Cum for me, my strong and lovely husband.” Your praises definitely got everything of him. Arthur’s fingers clenched so hard on the blanket that he almost tore it. He arched his back and the gravel in his voice chanted your name on repeat like he never did for any women, whores, or good girls, like a preacher imploring the mercy of his divinity. One minute later his cock throbbed in your palm before he finally released the tension in hot spurts of milky ropes in both your hand and your thighs. With a little satisfied smirk, you brought your fingers to your mouth and licked his release while looking at your shaking man.

“Christ…” He let out a long sigh, his body collapsing back on the sofa. The arm with which he hid his face fell limp after he tucked himself back in his trousers. Left as a panting mess, Arthur was trying to catch his breath while his half-closed eyes were still staring at you with a blissed-out gleam in their magnificent blue irises. But that extraordinary post-sex peace had to come to an end: the worst part of the discussion was awaiting. Arthur moistened his lips with the tip of his tongue, stars still dangling in his vision, and, without the slightest warning, pulled you in a strong hug. His arms wrapped around you, pressing your ribs so hard you almost suffocated: He was afraid. Fucking afraid to lose you, “You need to stay here. Safe and sound.”

“Sorry?” You suddenly exclaimed, lowering your gaze toward him to ensure you understood correctly what he just said, “That’s absolutely out of question, Arthur. I’m coming with you back to Birmingham. We’ll go through this shit together and we’ll be back in our forest as soon as possible.” You said, your fingers gently fondling his neck.

“No, love.” His hoarse voice, rendered raspier by the orgasm he had, retorted with a bit more authoritative tone as he regained his composure.“Ye ain’t coming with me. It’s too dangerous. Trust me, I’d love too but I would not forgive myself if Changretta would hurt you.”

“Are you kidding me? I can’t let you go alone and risk your life,” Panic had already started to kick in at that idea, twisting your guts and accelerating your heartbeat. Who will take care of him if you weren’t by his side? As the one who had pulled the trigger, you were more than aware that Arthur was probably the first name underlined in red on that Changretta’s list, “You know I can be useful. Arthur please.”

“I’ll be back very quick, love.” Arthur tried to reassure you, but parting from him was far too painful for you to agree with him, "I'll be back soon and we'll have a little one together right? The perfect couple…" The corner of his mouth stretched in a tender and soothing smile right before he crashed his lips against yours. You kissed him back but it did not made you feel better. Quite the contrary. Shaken by his decision, you sighed and moved away from him. Despite his attempt to hold you back, you still managed to break his embrace and walked towards the window, wrapping your arms around your own tiny frame to hug you.

Arthur bit his knuckles, frustrated by the whole situation, and utterly in pain for you had just rejected him. After a short while, he got up from the sofa and joined you near the window, his legs still weak, “Listen. You gotta trust me. I don’t want to be away from you either — God knows I’m already scared of withering without your heavenly presence and your arms around me neck. But I can’t risk losing ye. I would fookin’ die, I swear would. I want you to stay safe here, guarded by Kaiser and by the forest, rather than with me at the mercy of these Italians. If you come with me they’ll assault you… Because of me. Because yer me wife.” Arthur explained in a slow and distinct voice, his feathery fingers rearranging one of your white strands of hair. Tears blurred your vision at his words — since your wedding there hadn’t been one day you’d been away from each other more than a few hours, hence the overwhelming misery you felt that such a plan. , “Look at me,” He asked, gently grabbing your arm to make you spin. His hands, big and calloused, cupped your face, “Heaven,” he dived into your fleeing eyes, from which crystal tears were rolling down your pearly white cheeks, “Everything’s gonna be fine, ey.”

You slowly nodded, defeated. “Tout ira bien.” You repeated in French, looking at him with the most heartbreaking pout he had ever seen. In truth, you were trying to convince yourself more than actually believing it. Your little fists clenched discreetly —and they clenched so hard that your knuckles turned white.

No, it was not going to be fine.

Definitely not.

Snuggling in one of Arthur’s shirts, you buried your nose in the collar to smell the musky and reassuring perfume of your husband. A frustrated growl escaped from your juicy lips. You were sitting on the wooden floor in front of the fire, hugging your knees against your chest as you watched the flames die in the hearth. Only two weeks had passed since Arthur’s departure for Birmingham and you were already at the edge of the abyss, ready to fall into a pit of madness. Locked up here between the walls of your own house, you feel estranged from your home, trapped in a doorless maze. Just like a wonderful Siberian tigress in a zoo, you were spending your day pacing back and forth in the living room under Kaiser’s saddened and worried eyes, before collapsing on the floor or the nearby sofa. Devoured by anxiety and another frightful gut feeling no one was there to listen to, you usually ended up rolling in a ball with the guard dog’s big wet snout poking you in a desperate attempt to cheer you up. How could you carry on with your life when your soulmate was far away from you, hunted down by a whole mafia whose every member wanted to see him dead? No matter the protective spells you had cast upon Arthur, you could not help but give in to panic. After all, he was the only one you had. And you were quite unfortunate considering how every people you had truly loved always tended to end up dead and cold, six feet under.

Giving one last kiss on Kaiser’s head, you got up from the floor and went to the small silvery cigarette case that was on the coffee table. You slipped a cigarette between your plump lips and lit it up, immediately taking a long puff in the hope of calming your nerves. As the nicotine burnt your throat and lungs, you felt your nervousness alleviating a tiny bit. I should not be here, you thought, I should be by his side. These were the words that were playing on repeat in your head. In your rambling, your mind focused on Thomas Shelby, whose past mischiefs made you believe he was the only one responsible for your role —or rather for your non-role— in this new war against the Italians. Even if Arthur did not tell you anything about it, you knew he had managed to fill your man’s mind with the idea that you’d be safer here only because he did not want you back in Birmingham. That son of a bitch — he was well aware that he had to get rid of you if he wanted Arthur to behave like his dog. You let out a furious cloud of smoke from your nostrils.

As it as been the case before Thomas had sent you all in jail, your sharp witch instincts were ringing emergency alarms in your very soul. Your chest tightened at the sudden boiling rage that coursed through your veins. How ridiculous that was? You were stuck here, completely useless, as Arthur, John, Polly, and Ada were all facing unnamable dangers. Pressing your lips tight around the cigarette, you pinched your nose to calm your nerves. That was at the moment you had almost managed to calm down a little bit that one of the living room windows crashed in hundreds of little sharp shards of glass. The cacophony of it made Kaiser jump before he immediately reacted by rushing near the gaping window and aggressively barking at the outside darkness: the beast hundred pounds Cane Corso was ready to tear throats to protect you. With a pounding heart and eyes wide open, you looked at in the distance: All you could see was a car’s headlights located at the bottom of the hill, but they quickly disappeared when the driver left the place with haste.

“Putain!” You whispered, cigarette still hanging in your mouth and one hand pressed against your chaotic heart. What the hell had happened? Still shaking from the shock, you looked at all around you and noticed the huge brick that had been thrown at the window. However, what stirred your panic was not the tool of the mischief itself but rather the letter that was tied to it with barbed wires. You did not wait any longer and grabbed it, untying the letter without minding the small cuts the wire left on your skin. As you opened it, your crimson blood drenched the fabric of the paper in dozen of stains.

To Arthur Shelby’s whore,

If you think you are safe hidden here in the wild you are utterly wrong. We haven’t forgotten about you, and despite the fact you are outside of our economic interests, you evil witch have to pay for Father Hughes and Simon Conrad’s death.

We have understood from your past crimes that you are a great advocate of retributive justice so here comes the other side of the coin. Hereby, we wish to inform you that we will come for you one day. You can hide. You can run. But you won’t escape us.

In the meantime, check twice under your bed, in your closet and behind you, because we are the shadow that follows you. Also be sure that if the Mafia does not succeed in killing Arthur Shelby, we will.

Every witch can burn,

Your heart missed a beat so big you felt dizzy. The letter slipped from your wounded fingers and fell on the floor. You took the cigarette out of your mouth and, instinctively stubbed it out on the back of your wrist without the slightest wince for it was the only thing you had found to calm yourself down. The crackling sound of burning flesh echoed in the room as the red-hot ashes marked your delicate and immaculate porcelain skin with a black and red circle. The pain, vivid and stingy, did not seem to bother you though, judging by the way your face remained absolutely neutral: the truth was the burning of your wrath outmatched the one on your flesh. No matter Thomas’ orders and Arthur’s worries, you had made up your mind: you were going back to Birmingham, and you were going to make the whole city shatter and shake at your fingertips if that was what you needed to do to retrieve your peaceful life.

If all of Birmingham was afraid of Arthur Shelby more than anything, it was only because they had never seen the fury of his wife.

✞ Any comment, review, reblog, or constructive criticism is welcome. Your reactions really motivate me and keep me alive, so please don't be shy. English is not my first language.

✞ Tag list: @adaydreamaway08 @theshelbyclan @jomarch-wannabe @esposadomd @zablife @woofgocows @anathemasworld @anastasia000 @kate654 @kxnnxy @babayaga67 @meowtastick @shelbyssins @sarai-ibn-la-ahad @bluevenus19 @raincoffeeandfandoms @kishie8 @zablife @brummiereader

[guardianspirits13]

19, 21, 23 for the dbd ask game???? also potentially 22 if you want (also if there are spoilers frm after episode 6 please put it under the cut i am savoring this show)

Oh my gosh enjoy!!!! Episode 7 is really the magnum opus of the whole show <3

Favorite actor from the show?

In my last two asks I said Jayden, but I'm gonna switch it up this time to highlight how incredible of an actress Kassius is.

Something you wish had been done differently in the show?

Honestly I have so few complaints that I really have to think...

The biggest thing for me is that the CGI can be a bit spotty at times, but between how they relied on practical effects as much as possible and how badly CGI artists are paid and treated, I can't really fault them.

The only other thing that cones to mind is that the hairstyles are so great in the pilot and then they change!!! Why!!! Charles' hair especially is so floppy and a bit longer in ep1 and then they cut it :((

Song that reminds you of the show?

Ohh boy. *opens spotify*

Payneland: Heart by Sleeping at Last, Wait For Me from Hadestown, Come With Me by Chxrlotte, We're Going to Be Friends by The White Stripes

Charles: Two and Eight by Sleeping at Last, Little Lion Man by Mumford and Sons, Don't Wait for Him by Side Saddle

Edwin: One by Sleeping at Last, Eyes Closed by Imagine Dragons, Better in the Morning by Birdtalker, White Blank Page by Mumford and Sons, Promiseland by MIKA

Series as a whole: Bones by Imagine Dragons, St. Bernard by Lincoln

(sorry)

Personal favorite female character?

Is it a cop out to say Death?

I also love Litty, just the incredible bitchy energy that resonates from her. Maren from Case of the Two Dead Dragons is short lived but shoutout to her actress because that breakdown and confession was incredible.

I don't particularly relate to Crystal or Niko, but Crystal's character arc is so good and she has a great hear under her exterior of distrust. Just the way she goes from barely tolerating Edwin to nearly dying to save him... I really need to see more of her and watch her reconnect with her old life. So so much potential there.

Sorry this is so long, you really picked the right questions to send me off on a tangent haha

[markantonys]

A weird trend I've noticed (at least among Twitter show to book first timers) is quite a few of them hating show Rand in s1 but loving him immediately when reading Eye of the World. Which is kinda bizarre to me? Especially considering how they aged him up in the show and he's way more mature than he is the books. And I adore book Rand he's my favorite character in the entire series and glad more people are liking him. But makes me feel more protective of show Rand cause he also deserves the love!

I think the reasons though are cause showwise we can't see inside his head so people who didn't like him in s1 see where he's coming from when reading the book since they see his thoughts? Idk

that's so rude!!! i would guess it's because s1 rand expresses anger (and expresses anger towards female characters lmao) much more than eotw rand, who is just kinda quietly vibing and drinking his milk and being wholesome and keeping most of his negative emotions in his head because he's too polite to express them aloud (which obviously can't work in a visual medium). overall, according to my vague memories of eotw, i'd say that s1 rand is a much stronger personality than eotw rand, which makes him a more dynamic and interesting character but at the same time puts him at higher risk of rubbing people the wrong way than Untoasted White Bread Blank Slate Boy aka eotw rand haha

and the maturity increase is similar. in eotw, mat is immature in a way that most people find grating and unlikable, and so most people agree that he unequivocally benefits from the show's maturity increase. but rand in eotw is less "immature" and more "naive", he's immature mostly in a sweet and endearing way, and so maybe this group of readers doesn't care that he's acting more like a tween (or even a straight-up child at times) than the young adult he's supposed to be, they just find him Cute And Baby, and meanwhile they find s1 rand rude and unlikable because he has more serious problems and reacts more seriously to said problems (thinking mostly in terms of his relationship with egwene here - a certain subset of viewers hate s1 rand for having his own feelings & opinions in the relationship rather than being 100% fine with getting dumped in ep1 and then 100% happy to jump back into egwene's arms like nothing happened in ep2 when she wants to reverse her decision, so i could imagine they like him more in eotw when his problems with egwene are mostly silly and childlike and treated comedically by the narrative, as opposed to legitimate conflicts in an established long-term romantic relationship which the narrative takes seriously)

but if you don't love rand at his throwing a tantrum at moiraine in s1, then you don't deserve him at his going to get a glass of milk at midnight and spitting it out in surprise upon running into a fade! i can only imagine that these people are going to start hating book rand in later books once he stops being Untoasted White Bread Blank Slate Boy and starts developing a stronger personality and rougher edges lmao

(also, all this is not to say that rand's eotw softness doesn't come across in the show, because it absolutely does! i think s1 rand is on the one hand angrier and more volatile than eotw rand (which gets him hate in spaces like twitter and tumblr among those who deem any male character who isn't nice and agreeable 100% of the time Trash) yet simultaneously he's also more openly affectionate & tender and more of a homebody (which gets him hate in spaces like reddit among those who deem any male character who isn't a badass power fantasy 100% of the time Lame))

[fosteraudios]

Hi E! Here i am again 🙂

I saw someone say that they feel nervous when they r commenting and gosh i feel the same way(my hands are trembling at the momnt) i always get nervous when i comment or specially when i send u asks cuz my head be like: what if im being annoying? What if i say smth wrong yk?? But i do it anyways cuz nobody knows who i am hehe

I know this is gonna sound sappy but idc!! Im always grateful for everylil thing in my life so ur channel is one of the main things that i grateful about. i mean i listen to other creators too but ur channel is something else.. u have continuing storyline so i feel like my life has meaning ,i can wakeup everyday with a hope ( yk what?? After actress series ended i felt like my life went all blank tbh broo i cried ngl🤌idk y but after i saw the notification S1 ep1 man..u shouldve seen by face BAHAHA)idk how to explain it but umm i dont go out of my room most of the time i hang out in my room with my cats and do my own thing,so when u post i feel so happy idkidk uhh .its crazy how i ended up in here right? I mean i get panic attacks alot cuz of my past traums so im in my healing era:') but idont talk bout my problems to anyone so what i do is listening to these audios cuz i can escape the reality .i specially love ur audios cuz u always making jokes,its always so refreshing (thats what she said jokes ar my fav )and ofc u r so adorable🎀and u talented and amazing !!

And bro i alwys feel guilty for listening without paying cuz they r so so amazing!!!idk i feel bad bro if i have money i would def buy ur patreon i promise!! And thankyou so much for posting all of these amazing stories for free it means alot alot !!and and and thankyou for posting frequently.

Ur channel plays a major role in my life and thats why i decided to say this .and i know getting compliments can make someones day and by doing that i feel like it heals some unhealed parts ofmine .there are more to say but im not gonn bore u with endless ramblings! And i have tons of questions to ask but ill ask them another time ( and oohhh i almost forgot i started to sing again heheh)

K i should go now bye !! 🤏😎😌stay safe and i just realised iuse BRO alot -_-

Healing era is great! And no worries, thanks for the message :) I’m only human! No stress!

[purpleponder]

Hi purple. Sliding into your inbox once again. I just finished rewatching the entirety of kj and I think I need to sit down. Every single emotion I have ever felt back in 2017 is coming in full force like a slap to the face with a wet fish. Yes I mean ep51 specifically. I cannot. I cannot. I CANNOT. 7 YEARS LATER AND IM STILL OBSESSED WITH HOW MUCH JOKER AND HACHI CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER 😭😭 FOUND FAMILY BEFORE I EVEN KNEW WHAT WAS FOUND FAMILY 😭😭😭😭

THE TWO OF THEM MAKE ME SO ILL.... It's been years since I saw the scene again so now I'm looking through every line with fresh eyes and I and I and I 😭😭😭😭😭 I FORGOT HACHI RUSHES IN TO SAVE JOKER FIRST 😭😭😭 I FORGOT THE CALLBAVK TO EP1 I FORGOT HOW JOKER LITERALLY SPENDS HACHIS LAST MOMENTS TELLING HIM ABOUT ALL THE THINGS THEYLL DO AFTER THIS 😭😭😭😭 I FUXKING FORGOT "I COULDN'T MAKE A MIRACLE HAPPEN"................

I'm so normal about this I swear. I already went insane on my own post about this but I'm still not fucking over it. He couldn't make a miracle happen. Kaitou fucking joker. The fucking miracle maker. HE COULDN'T MAKE IT HAPPEN! HIS OWN FUCKING APPRENTICE! HIS LITTLE BROTHER! BLEEDING OUT IN HIS ARMS!!! A BULLET WENT THROUGH HIS FUCKING HEART AND HES HOLDING HIM TIGHT AND HE COULDNT DO ANYTHING TO SAVE HIM!!!!!!!!!!! THATS SO FUCKED UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did his mind just go blank? Was he actually out of trump cards? Who the fuck knows! All he fucking knows is that hachi just took a fucking bullet tot the chest and now there's blood all over his fucking hands!!! What the fuck was he supposed to do!!!!!

(Hi purple. I'm so normal about this you can tell. It's midnight and I'm evidently supposed to be asleep. Enjoy your day. It's 2024 and I'm still analysing the same damn episode I obsessed over as an 11 year old. )

Oh dude I haven’t watched the series in it’s entirety in FOREVER but you’re so fucking right about that episode. The fact that Joker had to watch someone, that was essentially his little brother, die in his arms as he could do nothing but watch because he actually fucking failed. He literally lost the will to do anything other than grieve his loss because he couldn’t do fucking more to save someone—like, I am also absolutely normal about this even if I haven’t watched it in years…

I bet he actually blanked when Spade warned them, like he was hurt and tired and Hachi just moved on fucking instinct. 12 year old me was not ready emotionally and you are so right to be so normal rn 😭. The horror on their faces when they realized what happened, when Joker slowly turned to see Hachi’s body, he probably wished he could’ve done more in that moment…

God now I gotta watch that episode again…

(Also don’t mind me that I saw this ask last night but I was just eepy :), now I can’t english properly and am only running on memories and emotions that I can recall but you are so so fucking right about that episode. Probably what introduced into angst or hurt/comfort now that I think about it…)

[nightfal1n]

Fafner the Beyond Episode 1 incoherent note

??? - I know we got timeskipped a lot but Operation Azure sounds like regular routine at this point 7:40 - Okay this is so messed up...Don't tell me that's Tatsumiya Island? 8:30 - Silicon gang are our main force now apparently 9:16 - That's dope looking Aegis shield 11:20 - THEY TOOK OUR KIDS!?!! 12:20 - Kenji doesn't care about family picture being a death flag...he have his wife and child photo displayed on screen. home cinema sized TV display while riding pain-collecting Siegfried control room (We know from Exodus that his sense starts to fade so maybe he doesn't feel pain anymore? but feedback from crossing might be different though) 15:23 - Okay tell me who is this Maris guy 16:20 - Pain shared from crossing still affect Kenji it seems 17:24 - THEY TOOK MAYA'S EYE!?!?!! 18:40 - Don't tell me Festum took Tatsumiya island and build a whole civilization by making a copy from those who died...............that's so messed up. This level of messiness is very similar to Dead Aggressor/RoL/HaE....I mean, Exodus wasn't clean by any mean but it's way too clean for the whole series 21:40 - Miwa ended up pilotting Fafner is something real Yumiko will never approve....and now enemy copied her to mess with us.....oh my T - T 23:30: Silicon gang talks very different despite fighting on our side. Exodus had me think they'd at least looks more...affected (´・ω・`) (yeah I know they act tand feel a different way than us) 25:30: Emery's clone.....(´；ω；`)ｳｯ…(they seems to mainly make clone out of esperanto? Yumiko turned into one at some point in Exodus iirc)

OP sequence: Okay, forgot everything I has said WE'RE SO BACK FAFNER IS BACK IN FRONT OF ME RN I love Fafner again TT ДTT asdfadfasgddhdahfdaf Also from the opening sequence I feel like ep1 is like a cold opening? something happens in future and we're now tracing back. Guess that's given due to amount of blanks we need to fill in after Exodus (I'm too used to custom timeline that I don't get offended anymore)

[bocje-ce-ustu]

on another note, one has to appreciate the cruel irony of ep11′s reveal scene: thua’s outburst is a time-bomb unwittingly set by ayan. ayan told thua his voice matters and thua found his voice (in a kinda twisted way, but still). and if you think about it from thua’s perspective, the worst betrayal comes when ayan, the very same person who encouraged him to speak up, is the one trying to silence him.

[valkyrieandstrangeridingaragorn]

Even if Loki was supposed to have "therapy session" from Mobius (let's ignore the fact that it wasn't even actual therapy but psychological torture) he should not heal so suddenly. Healing is a long process and doesn't end after one therapy session.

Exactly!

They needed to rush that sweet sweet development because they refused to work with 2012!Loki, they wanted his version from Ragnarok as that is the simplest one to work with: he's always been bad, he just needs to change because who and what he is is wrong and he must become exactly what his brother wants him to be.

Not a single scapegoat would believe the footage in ep1, especially when those images are out of context and disconnected. When you have been raised in a family unit of conditional love you just know the 3 magic words are entirely meaningless and for your family members to say those things you're accustomed to thinking they're either lying, love bombing or manipulating you to do something they want you to do. At no point a scapegoat would believe they truly meant it.

Loki would question everything. He's in a place he has never been before where not even the Infinity Stones have any power. He's being abused questioned by a man who seems to think the NYC invasion was his doing and that he did it out of his own volition (so, he's wrong, Loki knows he's wrong), and in a place like that anything is possible. Who's to say they wouldn't be able to manipulate footage? Loki has no reason to believe anything they show him - and come on, he's distrustful by nature!

The creators were counting on many things: they were counting on the fans to fill in the blanks. They were counting on us knowing that all that footage is real so "of course Loki is going to believe it", but the truth is he would have no reason to.

And going back to your point, in order for that session to work they would have needed to address his past and they never did. According to them Loki's life starts at the NYC invasion which makes healing impossible. And I really mean that: impossible.

In order for healing to start you would need to go back, address his past and traumas, allow him the chance to speak up and express himself (his opinions, feelings, beliefs) and that would take so many sessions because we're talking about years upon years of emotional and psychological abuse and neglect. And that doesn't magically heal overnight.

But the TVA is basically Marvel and so they retconned his character, rewrote his past, turned him into a simple-minded idiot who believes everything he's told and then they framed all that as therapy, growth and character development. At the end of the day the Loki series was never about Loki, it was the perfect 6-episode trailer for Spider-Man NWH, MoM and the rest of Phase 4, and since they wanted to get people up to date truly diving into Loki's character would have taken too much space... and they wanted Sylvie to take the spotlight.

[ofmythsandmadness]

MY THOUGHTS ON TUA SEASON TWO: PART ONE (spoilers)

So...I finished season two. And I’ve got a lot of thoughts.

I’m putting ALL my thoughts under the tab so please, don’t click unless you’ve seen it all, and/or you just....like don’t care about spoilers? But please if you’ve not watched it, watch it first ‘cause it deserves all the hype and attention. 

(if you haven’t watched yet, go into your settings and blacklist the tag ‘tua spoilers’ because that’ll help you avoid anything if you don’t want to be spoiled, at least on here)

Also, this is part one to my thoughts, because it’d be much too long to list it all here! Part two will be linked below this :)

This is going to be SO badly organized, but I’m gonna do my best to make it otherwise! I’m separating it all under sub-headers, just so you don’t have to read through ALL my thoughts on the series (but there’s a lot, sorry).

I legit just watched it all last night, so it’s fresh but also still jumbled and messy. So bear with me.

Also, let me know what you thought, I’m eager to hear others’ opinions of this show!

AS A WHOLE... So, so, SO damn good. I was scared, and worried and I thought there was gonna be a lot more pain...but it was so good. Arguably better than the first season, I think because the characters are fleshed out and have developed more, and I felt myself caring more for their wellbeings (even though I would have already died for most of them).

Honestly, no. This season WAs better than the first and I’m gonna stick with that.

I also really loved the colour scheme of it all?? I think they did that really well the first season too, but the colour choices and how they alternated between blue and orange, it keeps your attention and adds a vibrance to the characters that was there before but not so loudly.

I want to watch it again and admire how they shot/edited it too, because I actually really was impressed with the shots too (normally Netflix shows aren’t super cinematography-heavy, don’t know if that’s how to say that, but TUA really came through and I’m impressed). I don’t want to drone on about that because i know most don’t care about that as much, so I’ll leave it at just...I was impressed, and most happy with the overall presentation of the show.

LUTHER HARGREEVES...

The way i actually now love him?? 

I mean I felt bad for him in S1, but here he’s an actual character and I cared about HIM, rather than what he had gone through. From the moment he said ‘I don’t give a shit’ in episode one, I liked him again and I’m SO glad. 

I didn’t really love how he still pushed for him and Allison...I mean, I understand that you can’t just erase the feelings, they still stand, but I would have liked a little bit less of it. It’s just awkward to watch and to contrast with Klaus literally calling them out, I appreciate that it wasn’t so prevalent but it was still there. 

But overall!! He became a character I actually really liked, he was actually funny too?? Dorky too, and also just more sure of who he was as a person rather than the number...Luther rights.

DIEGO HARGREEVES...

One word: BIIIITCH.

He was one of my favourites from the show pre-S2, and now I can say he might just be my favourite. I would fight fire for that man.

I didn’t think he’d be almost the main character of this show (obviously one of them, because they’re all main characters ig) but I liked it a lot! We really got nothing about who he is as a person in Season One, and though a lot of people were able to fill in the emotional blanks, there was a lot more given to his character and who he is beneath the hard-headed vigilante.

I think David Casteneda did a brilliant job on his character, and had one of the best performances out of all of them. I knew he was good, but I truly was shocked at how good he did as Diego, and I’m happy to see him as an actor thrive and get more credit. He deserves it, and I’m quite happy. 

Surprisingly, he was the character to make me cry (I cried at Ben too, don’t worry, but!). When Reginald said that shit to him, I was in fucking pain. I won’t get too deep into it, but just the way his face dropped, and then the stutter - it struck a cord and I cried more at that then I did the rest of the show. Dunno. Maybe that’s just me.

But just like...I wish he had more support...everyone just kept calling him dumb and mocking him and I KNOW his obsession with JFK was dumb and aligned with the Luther moon thing and he didn’t have the greatest plans and I’m not saying all of his actions were right, but he was fucking TRYING. And some of it, they played it off for comedic effect but they were literally just trashing on him for doing the right thing and making him look stupid...it made me a little sad.

I am glad, however, at how he rekindled with all his siblings. Because arguably, Diego was an asshole to all of them and though again, arguably they all were and none of them are doing well and there are reasons - they were all assholes to each other, and especially him to them, especially Vanya when she really didn’t deserve it. And to see them at least begin to mend their relationship made me so happy. The way that in the end, they sat together?? And how he accepted her apology just like that?? I sob.

The scene where diego just says ‘there’s this girl I like - I CRACKED UP AND I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHY IT’S SO FUNNY BUT JFC THAT WAS SO FUNNY. That and threatening Olga - top tier funniest moments of the season for  me. They really amped up the comedy this season and I’m happy.

One thing I didn’t get was in the last episode, when he bent the bullets’ trajectory for Five...did he know he could do that? Like I understand that he could do it, but we never saw him do anything else around those lines, aside from in the doomsday season ep1, but that was an alternate history so...I’m guessing Reginald taught him, but??? It was kinda random and I would have liked if they hinted at it at least once before.

To summarize, I love him. I love how far he’s come and I hope he just finds some happiness because he keeps getting the short end of the stick. He deserves the world.

(also, diego hargreeves a huge ass nerd. y’all can’t convince me otherwise. big dork energy)

LILA PITTS/DIEGO & LILA:

You know what? I loved her.

I didn’t like her character as much post maybe episode 6/7, basically once she brought Diego in I was disappointed but I liked her character. I think she was cool and different and chaotic and though I was disappointed that towards the end, she felt a bit thrown in, I still appreciated who she was. I was honestly hoping that she would have left the Handler a lot sooner, I thought they were gonna make her realise the truth a lot sooner but at the same time...this is her maternal figure, she’s been basically brainwashed into that support and there’s gonna be an element of love regardless.

I knew she was gonna be one of the 43 though, the second I saw 1993 I called it and I was happy I was actually right on something. Idk her powers, that too seems a lil bit messy but still, I thought it was neat. I just want to see more! And I think we will, hence why I’m trying not to judge her much, but i hope that we get to know more about her. I don’t want a half-baked love interest, and I was hoping that there was going to be a little bit more this season - but we shall see.

(ritu arya, though, is quite good in her role. and stunning. i quite love her)

I also didn’t HATE the relationship between her and Diego. I know it’s a divided topic but I liked it, I thought they were fucking cute and even though i KNEW there was something off about her, I was just HOPING that it’d be different. I mean, that scene on the bed with them???? I think my heart gave out. Palpitations, bitch. I was so fucking soft for them and even when she was exposed....I stillllllllll wanted the best. :(

And then like shit happened and then it got a little messy (y’all should learn how to communicate...throwing out boyfriend and ex-girlfriend terms like that???) and like yada yada, I was okay but I don’t necessarily like the ‘I love him/her’ thing. I mean sure you can, but THAT felt a little quick. I don’t know why tv shows just LOVE to throw out the I love you’s that FAST, but I’m not into it. 

TL;DR - I still REALLY like Lila Pitts, and I still like them together, somewhat (though like maybe slow your asses down folks).

(question though...are we supposed to think of them as siblings now?? bc...idk I don’t see it like luther/allison because they weren’t raised together and really didn’t associate like that?? but are they all reginald’s alien children cause in THAT case wtf am I suppose to think help-)

PART TWO TO MY THOUGHTS: here.

[jacksjoke]

yo! i've been following your tumblr mostly just for cql because aha :^) you know how it is :^) but it's left a void in my chest. i know you rb a lot of content for other shows, so i figured i'd ask you for some recs (and the best places to watch them uwu)!! thanks so much i'd die for u

Hello anon!! I totally get you 💀 I’m gonna assume that you want me to rec BLs, so I’ll tell you only the ones that I’ve liked best and why, where I watched them, and possible trigger warnings as well for you :)

So first up is my favorite: Theory of Love

Who stars in it: Off Jumpol (as Kai) and Gun Atthaphan (as Third), aka OffGun, aka icons and best friends who we stan to this very day

Why I recommend: I adore this show for so many reasons but overall the vibe is just so good dfhkhkhj It references like a trillion rom-coms and I won’t spoil it but there is a literal montage of some classic rom-com scenes done by the main characters that is just so fucking hysterical, I cry every time. There’s also a compilation here of movie posters that they recreated to imitate some classic rom-coms as well, which made me DIE from emotions I tell you what. This show is just so funny and makes fun of itself with characters that you genuinely grow to adore. Kai is a chaotic dumb of ass bisexual and we love him in this house (as infuriating as he can be lmfao). It’s so rewatchable GOD 10/10 would recommend.

Warnings: There is no sexual abuse in the show of any kind, except for one scene that is just a kiss and very mild, so I think you’d be all good there. :)

Where to watch: I watched it on YouTube! Here’s the link to episode one part one

History3: Trapped

Who stars in it: Jake Hsu (plays Shao Fei) and Chris Wu (plays Tang Yi), aka weirdos who can’t stop laughing while filming and being dumb in general and I love that for them and me

Why I recommend: I loved it. The main couple is adorable with so much chemistry and I will be totally honest, they remind me SO MUCH of Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian. Like on the rewatch I just did of this show, I couldn’t believe the similarities the character Shao Fei has to Wei Wuxian and his counterpart Tang Yi has to Lan Wangji. Like. When I tell you I was shook the house, I mean it. But the side couple is ALSO iconic the house and the CUTEST like if you don’t want to adopt Zhao Zi and also officiate his wedding by the show’s end, I’d be shocked dfhhkghdjkl All in all, it’s such a funny show with very tender, heartfelt moments that are to die for. This show has it all: plot twists, cops falling in love with mobsters and vice versa, a character whose goal in life is to just eat as much good food as possible… amazing.

Warnings: The show has fighting and violence but seeing as you watched The Untamed, I’m assuming you’re okay with it lol There is an instance where one character tries to rape one of the leads by drugging him, so keep an eye out for that, but I think it will be obvious because he starts to pass out and you will know whether you feel you have to skip the scene or not. He isn’t undressed, it isn’t anything remotely graphic, but he is groped by the asshole I won’t name man fuck that guy but that’s all!

Where to watch: I watched it on newasiantv, link to ep1 here

Dark Blue Kiss

Who stars in it: Fluke Gawin Caskey (Mork) and Podd Suphakorn (Sun) aka two of the most gorgeous and sweet dudes alive fdhgldfhgdk AND BL vets, New Thitipoom (Kao) and Tay Tawan (Pete)

First off: dshhgdksj If you haven’t seen Kiss Me Again or Kiss the Series you might be a little confused. Dark Blue Kiss is sort-of-a-continuation-but-not-really of those other two series, and it sort of adds to the experience if you have seen them. If you want to, just watch Kiss Me Again and I think you’ll be okay honestly; it’s just because you might want context of the characters (Pete and Kao, their friends etc.) and their relationships to one another going into Dark Blue Kiss.

Why I recommend: NOW two of the leads, Sun and Mork, have one of The Best relationships in any BL I’ve ever seen because they have real conversations and have real conflict and issues that they work to get through. Rain (Sun’s younger bro and Mork’s bestie) is an absolute delight and their story arc throughout the show is so iconic we just have to stan. I won’t get into Kao and Pete fhhkhdj because I just have Opinions on fucking w characters/relationships for the sake of drama and that’s what I think this series did to them, unnecessarily ahem But otherwise it’s funny and real and again if you dont literally love Mork and Rain and Sun by the end of it did you even watch the same show???

Warnings: There is a brief scene where one character tries to get w another who is like get tf AWAY weirdo lmfao but there is no actual abuse bc they are stopped well in time to avoid it

Where to watch: I watched Dark Blue Kiss on newasiantv as well because the episodes on YouTube tended to not get subbed as quickly as I wanted which you will understand if you watch this lmao. Here is the link to episode one of Kiss Me Again as well as a link to episode one of Kiss the Series if you feel like watchin those two beforehand

Tharntype the Series

Who stars in it: Gulf Kanawut (Type) and Mew Suppasit (Tharn) aka those two guys who you might see do a shit ton of fanservice that I diligently ignore because I hate fanservice lol This show exists in the same universe as another BL that I am reluctant to put on here lol but will get into later on.

Why I recommend: BEFORE YALL FLAY ME ALIVE djkhgldhgfdjhhkjd OKAY LISTEN genuinely, on a very real level, I FULLY understand why a lot of people here refused to watch this show or couldn’t finish it. You’re totally valid and legit I almost stopped after ten minutes because I was like here we go AGAIN. However! I was so drawn in by the acting that I wanted to give it a chance, and I’m SO GLAD that I did. Gulf and Mew, as well as Mild (who plays Techno) and Kaownah (who plays Lhong) and everyone else who acts in this show, is incredible and their chemistry is insane. I would say it’s some of the best chemistry and acting I’ve seen, BL or otherwise. You get angry at the two main characters interchangeably and I truly feel that that makes it real, you know what I mean? There is no oh he’s in the right, fuck that other guy 100% for either of them. They are both real, flawed men who grow so immensely throughout this series where by the end you’re so proud of their development and the love they find for themselves and in each other??? Because it doesn’t feel like we’ll get there, but they DO. And it’s BEAUTIFUL. We’re getting a second season, which to me is always a tad worrisome because I do think it ended very well and if they fuck with everything (cough KaoPete) just to fuck with it and stir the pot I’m gonna be Upset. But for now, it’s amazing and speaks on topics that aren’t ever addressed. It’s an unfortunate reality in BL that the way so many relationships begin is through sketchy-consensual (drunk, coerced) or flat out like non consensual sexual shit, and this show dives into the aftermath of sexual abuse, the mental impact that has on a person, and how damaging it can be if left unattended. I would give it a chance. I really do think it’s a well done series. Oh and Techno is so relatable and the only one with a brain cell in this show half the time jkdfhhdlkj

Warnings: Like I said, this show is not an easy watch at times. Very often, in fact, it can be difficult. There is homophobic language, two of the characters (I dont want to spoil everything) have been raped in the past, one as a child (which is NOT GRAPHICALLY SHOWN, don’t worry) and the other as a teenager/young adult, which is sort of shown but not in too much detail. Another character in present day “does stuff” to another that isn’t totally consensual, more than once (which is probably my biggest problem with the show and the one thing I really can’t excuse because like bro I don’t care how big your crush is, don’t be an asshole, point blank), but every other sexual thing in the show is consensual and very much wanted

Where to watch: Here is episode one on newasiantv if you want to give this a shot :)

He’s Coming to Me

Who stars in it: Singto Prachaya (Mes) and Ohm Pawat (Thun) aka just two adorable boys

Why I recommend: This show definitely has one of the more unique plots among BLs. I won’t spoil it, and as with all of these I recommend going in without looking up plots because like I know for me movie trailers etc just tell me everything and there doesn’t seem to be a point in watching the movie if I know so much beforehand. The main characters are cute together, there are funny moments and moments that make you cry. And it’s a happy ending, which we love to see :)

Warnings: There is a major character death, no blood though, and you will understand in context that it isn’t as bad as it seems right now lol Nothing that isn’t consensual, which is a miracle in these shows. Overall wholesome content. There is like a weird storyline with one of the character’s moms which was Different to say the least dfjhdflhgkjf but it didn’t ruin the show for me or anything

Where to watch: newasiantv seems to be my go-to lmao

3 Will Be Free

Who stars in it: Joss Way-Ar (Neo), Mild Lapassalan (Miw), and Tay Tawan (Shin). If you watch Dark Blue Kiss or any of those before this, you will recognize Tay and Mild as Pete and Sandee (just friends in those shows). Joss is just such a funny, sweet guy and so is Tay Lowkey biased for them and I honestly often favor TayJoss’ chemistry over TayNew, which I think is controversial lmfaoo but it has to be said lol and obviously Mild is a badass actress and talent so having her here is amazing

Why I recommend: So this is the only BL thus far to feature a polyamorous relationship, which is sort of crazy but I’m so happy it’s been done at least once now. The three have such amazing chemistry and you really grow to care for each of them as individuals as well. They’re just really awesome and I adore them and miss them every day fdjghfdglhkjd There’s also a trans actress!! :D

Warnings: There is quite a bit of gun violence bc one of the character’s father’s is a mob boss. Two side characters are killed, one much further into the show so it hurts even MORE, and one of the other side characters therefore to me doesn’t receive the ending they deserve; it was very messy and I think they deserved better. A woman is in an abusive marriage to a man, which sucked and I skipped a lot of it even though it wasn’t necessarily super violent. I just don’t like that stuff ://

Where to watch: Surprise surprise, newasiantv

Until We Meet Again

Who stars in it: Fluke Natouch (Pharm) and Ohm Thitiwat (Dean), Earth Katsamonnat (Intouch) and Nine Noppakao (Korn). Fluke and Earth invented being friends like……they are so fucking cute and they are both actually queer (have been in public relationships with men) which is always so rare to see and really great :)

Why I recommend: Side couple TeamWin is absolutely iconic. I adore them with my whole body so if for nothing else, watch it for them LMAO But for real InKorn is such a cute couple and PharmDean has a very nice relationship too; they talk about consent and have healthy communication which is so refreshing lmao

Warnings: The show does open with a double suicide by gunshot. I won’t say who, but it is in there. The two main characters have flashbacks/PTSD/nightmares (one worse than the other) which you will understand in context if you watch, but it’s definitely worth the watch

Where to watch: This show is currently airing and I watch it on YouTube; here’s the link to episode one part one

Love By Chance

Who stars in it: Perth Tanapon (Ae) and Saint Suppapong (Pete), Mean Phiravich (Tin) and Plan Rathavit (Can). This is the show that is in the same universe as Tharntype, but the actors who play Techno, Tharn, and Type are different actors in this show than from Tharntype. It’s confusing and messy lol

Warning: I’m putting this before the why I like it because I think it’s necessary for this one. I hesitate to even put LBC on here because there is so much of this show that just makes me uncomfortable. When I first watched this show, the second BL I had ever watched, I had no knowledge of BLs, the actors, or really anything to do with any of this world. So, having grown up with film/tv life where every actor is 27 playing 17, it didn’t occur to me that the actor playing 18 would in fact be 17 instead. Perth was I think 17 or possibly 18 while filming (I don’t know exact dates), which includes sexual scenes that I didn’t even feel comfortable watching BEFORE I knew his age, let alone trying to rewatch the series while knowing about it. I am 20, and was 19 last year when I watched this, so it really skeeves me out to watch those kinds of scenes (BL or otherwise) if actors or actresses aren’t at least 18 or 19. It seems weird because I’m 20 and a queer girl, not like a 50 year old pedophile or something like that, but for my own comfort I tend to skip the more explicit stuff. On my first watch, I skipped the Tharntype, TumTar, and Techno storyline because frankly I didn’t care. Going on to watch Tharntype the Series, I was even happier to have skipped so that I didn’t have to go in with a preconceived idea of the characters from having watched LBC. One of the characters in this version of events is raped or coerced into sex; I don’t even know the details because I just couldn’t be bothered to give it a chance. I firmly believe you can watch this show without watching any of their storylines (and skipping over the more sexual stuff, if you feel you have to), which I know sucks to say bc the actors are all good and I like their other work and them as people, but I just couldn’t do it. It is of course up to you.

Why I recommend: Basically I recommend this just for TinCan lmao and on the chance that you do decide to watch Tharntype, it pays at the end to have a knowledge of the LBC characters because again they are in the same universe and it won’t be as cool if you don’t get it right away like WHAT!!! You know haha so yeah There is going to be a season two dropped sometime this year, focused I believe on TinCan, so I’m literally so fucking excited. Dreams are coming true

Where to watch: I found this show on both Dailymotion and newasiantv

Hey again anon it’s been a minute dfhlhghjd I’m sure this is way longer than you thought and probably don’t want HA but I wanted to be as thorough as possible for you and anyone else who might be new here you feel So some shows I didn’t get into that I watched include Great Men Academy, Together With Me, 2Moons and 2Moons2, Love Sick, ’Cause You’re My Boy (aka My Tee), History3: Make Our Days Count, SOTUS the Series, History2: Crossing the Line, (currently airing) Why R U?, and 2gether.

If you get through the ones I talked about above and want me to talk about these other ones, I’ll do that too!! I hope this helps you and others :D ✌️ ✌️

[imnotsad22]

Depression Is Exciting series Ep1

Oh, Death; you make life so thrilling. You remind us about the day we will all face complete darkness and maybe stay there for awhile, you make us feel more motivated to do things when you slip out a hint that you're coming, and you always make us wonder to either jump off that building to instantly see you or wait until the time comes for dramatics's sake. You've done so much to appease us.

But let's not forget Life! You gave us the actual opportunity to take our time and feel the beauty of every other living being around us. You give us a blank piece of paper and expect us to write a book, to write our unexpectedly expected story of drama, romance, comedy and tragedy. Never forget the tragedy! Yes, Life does seem good and all but...

Why is that we like Death more?

Back in the day, everyone would do so much just to live. They would murder, carnage, steal, and even rely on immoral beliefs to keep their boat from sinking. So why, are we so different? That is because - instead of writing our own story - we'd rather read and watch how others play out. Growing up is so peculiar. You'd grow up loving something you are certain to keep forever and instead of doing just that, you started to drift away from those things. Sometimes the reason isn't clear and sometimes it's just there; standing in an empty space, waiting to be claimed by those that chose to throw him away.

We start as nothing but a seed in our mother's womb, later growing to be a fetus and pushed out to become a healthy-born baby. We grew up to be a toddler, a child, a teenager, a young adult, an actual adult, an already older adult, an elder, and then- we die. It seems so simple but it never actually is. It's like watching an episode from your favorite show and noticing those blanks they keep on skipping like that part is so boring, the directors didn't put the whole story to maximize his money and fame, and we would get more interested. It is exactly that. But what if that blank, is our whole story.

A story needs a main character to fulfill their dreams and goals, and side characters to either support the hero or bring him down. What if we were the supporting characters and our line aren't more than two sentences? What if we aspire to be important to the story too so we try to be the antagonist; destroying the hero's paths just to seem relevant and insignificant? What if we were just the specks of dust visiting the scene, only giving a bit of importance to the story when it comes to it? Have you ever thought of that? Because I know some of you have.

I'm here to explain why I hate myself and why I feel like questioning everything keeps me alive and sane, why the world tends to make me believe that I have worth. I'm here to explain why I have depression and why I will heal myself from it.