#blanche and rose are just a fun ship to me. they have fun together. you know? they're not afraid to be a bit silly with each other!

[the-eclectic-wonderer]

I was hoping you would reblog that fic ask game so I could ask you some questions!! #2 for 'se telefonando io potessi dirti addio, ti chiamerei' and 'Home is where your family is', and #11 for 'i hope you do believe me / i've given you my heart' :) and I'll ask you the same thing you asked me: an additional bonus question for any fic, for anything you'd like to say that wasn't covered here!

Oooh these are all fun questions!! Thank you so much!!

2. What scene did you first put down?

se telefonando io potessi dirti addio, ti chiamerei

Thank goodness I still had my notes for this one, because -- as embarrassing as that is -- I admittedly didn't remember! It turns out the very first thing I wrote down was the ending of Rose's conversation with Dorothy (the passage about "sneezing"). I don't think any one scene was put down all at the same time (except maybe for Sophia's voicemail message); I wrote down a series of thoughts / exchanges and then tried to find ways to connect them. :)

Home is where your family is

This one is easy! While the idea in general was sparked by thinking about Janet and Blanche's reconciliation, the actual first scene I wrote down was the one in which Blanche awakes from her nightmare and Dorothy consoles her. It came to me one night and hooked its talons in my brain until I put it to paper!

11. What do you like best about this fic?

i hope you do believe me / i've given you my heart

Oh, this is hard. I honestly love all of it with all my heart -- I had a great time writing it! Perhaps that's it -- the ease with which I wrote it? By this I don't mean it was easy (it wasn't! some passages laughed at me for so long!), but the fact that the main beats of the story and the general tone seemed to find their footing right from the start. At times I felt like I was listening to Blanche and Rose themselves reminisce about what happened, and it was such a fun feeling!

If I had to choose something specific -- it's got to be the final scene in the kitchen, when they discuss how to bring Dorothy into the mix. Their dynamic inevitably got a bit altered during the events of the fic (they were both going through a lot!), but that final scene gave me the chance to bring back some silliness and fun, and I love it so much for that. Blanche and Rose are the epitome of silly x silly for me (unless there's something serious going on, that is!), and I'm glad I got the chance to highlight that.

Right. For the bonus question...

9. Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

In the first draft of se telefonando, the final conversation between Blanche and Dorothy was going to be much more angry and openly confrontational. Blanche, in particular, was icily furious, and Dorothy ended up completely beaten down by the end of it. I still have a snippet from that original idea:

"You're tired of living in a house?" "Yeah. You see, they have an unfortunate tendency to empty out, after a while." "..." "..." "... Blanche, we --" "We really need to discuss it together, I agree, and we will! I'll bring it up to Sophia and Rose when I see them. Likely tomorrow." "But I--" "You haven't agreed yet? I know. I don't see what you're waiting for, honestly. Why would you want to keep paying the mortgage for this little place, when you've got the marvel that is Hollingsworth Manor to live in?" "..."

Ultimately I decided against this version for a number of reasons. While I think Blanche would turn to anger to deal with heartbreak (particularly in the situation described in the fic), having her lash out like that (being cold to Dorothy, talking over her, all the works) didn't fit right with her character (to me, at least) -- and I felt similarly for Dorothy's behaviour and reactions, too. It all seemed too honest, in a way -- and I really wanted to highlight the miscommunication and the refusal to talk openly about their feelings. I figured a more somber and hidden sadness would be more effective, and when I wrote it down it felt more in-character to me, so I kept the latter version (and had Blanche deal with her anger earlier on, in her monologue).

These were amazing questions, I had a great time answering them! Thank you so much for asking!!

[jabbage]

My Favourite Fanfics

2022 was the year I discovered fanfiction that I enjoyed reading, and I thought I'd share my mountain of fics that really stood out to me!

Jeeves and Wooster

Green Ice - Jeeves and Wooster & Lord Peter Wimsey

I'm hesitant to explain why I like this fic so much. It was 'spoiled' for me before I read it, and I wonder what the experience would have been like if I hadn't known where it was going ahead of time. So, perhaps I'll just say that it uses Bertie Wooster's position as possible unreliable narrator to add a really interesting dimension to his character and explore an aspect of note about the Jeeves and Wooster universe, and does so within a rip-roaring mystery which feels very authentic. AND Peter Wimsey is in it!

The War of the Worlds and All That - Jeeves and Wooster

In which Jeeves and Wooster thwart an alien invasion. Which is an utterly bonkers idea, somehow pulled off because said invasion hinges around the exact kind of dilemma which is entirely commonplace in Bertie Wooster's life. I was absolutely hooting with laughter throughout this whole thing.

Sherlock Holmes

The Craven Hive - Meticulously researched and textually deep historical pastiche with some absolutely beautiful character moments. Dr Watson returns from his war service and decides to assist in the treatment of shellshocked soliders. Of course when danger is at hand, he has to call in his old friend...

The Unsinkable Ship - Another meticulously researched piece. Holmes and Watson end up on board the Titanic. Much of the work is the pair going around exploring the ship, talking to each other and their fellow passengers (often real people), and dealing with navigating retirement together. They have such an old married couple vibe in this. Oh, and then the ship gets struck by an iceberg.

The Afterlife of Dr John H Watson - Good grief thing thing is absolute exquisite torture and I've read it I don't know how many times. Has entirely changed how I read 'The Blanched Soldier' and 'The Lion's Mane'. I get very very bored at 'kissy stuff' in stories, but the pivotal kiss in this GOT ME BAD.

The Taste of Truth - Delicious dark fantasy. If Neil Gaiman had written it, it would have won a Nebula.

Grit in the Sensor - Sherlock Holmes in the 22nd Century - Ok ok just hear me out on this one.... Sherlock Holmes in the 22nd Century is a very fun but silly Saturday Morning Cartoon which had a wealth of absolutely dynamite sci-fi concepts bubbling below the surface which it didn't ever address. One of these is that there is a robot who appears to have gained sentience by reading Watson's work. This fic unpacks that concept in a beautiful heartfelt way. It's narrated from Robot Watson's point of view, which leads to a delightful mixture of 19th century patois with machine logic.

Fullmetal Alchemist

Of Skulls and Secrets - I really enjoy it when people bring in the very bonkers real life history of alchemy into FMA stories, and this piece honestly feels like it could have been an extra chapter or OVA.

FMA Beyond - I don't know what to tell you. It's like Hiromu Arakawa wrote and illustrated more Fullmetal Alchemist. I got tingles when I started reading it. It gets Al right, which is always important to me :D

Others

Ciel D'Oro - The Name of the Rose

I can't believe somebody wrote a very decent sequel to The Name of the Rose and it's on Ao3 and you can read it for free.

Mister Vimes'd Go Spare - Discworld

If you were to tell me that this was actually written by Terry Pratchett, I would believe you. In my heart, this is what happened to Sam Vimes in the end.

A Man from the Stars - Doctor Who

Officially set my mind to rest about poor Joan Redfern.

Sing Down the Stars - The Chronicles of Narnia

Very beautiful reflection on Rilian from The Silver Chair ***

That's it for now! I'm sure I'll keep adding to this as I read more stuff :D

[this-geek]

Oo the ship ask game looks fun! 🍰💜💐 for Blanche/Dorothy please, if you want!

Ooh thank you for these. Ok let me think,

🍰 What is 'their song'? Officially or unofficially.

I have a few in my mind so have 3:

💐What’s their favorite “domestic bliss” moment? Do they cook/clean together? Do they like to go out shopping together?

Blanche isn't what Dorothy would call a domestic Goddess, but she ends up baking one evening to get the stress out, specifically bread so she can just pummel (knead) something. She has her sleeves rolled up and turns out it awakens something in Blanche so she starts constantly requesting it and watching her make it. Also, Blanche sometimes hides household tools so she has a reason to go to the Hardware Store with Dorothy (I have to give kudos to this E rated fic for presenting me with the idea).

💜 How do they silently show love or affection towards the other?

Blanche likes to steal the crossword before Rose or Sophia can get to it in the morning. She also draws things for her and hides them for Dorothy to find after work (the show did say that Blanche was good at art iirc). Dorothy uses physical touch to communicate with Blanche. One night, when they're home alone Blanche asks why she does it so much and Dorothy responds with specific meanings for every single touch. From that point it feels even more special.

[doubleattitude]

NUVO Dance Convention, Chicago, IL: RESULTS

High Scores by Age:

NUbie Solo

1st: Calla Massey-’Control’

2nd: Sadie Wilson-’Barbie Girl’

2nd: Aubrey Mooney-’Calling All The Monsters’

3rd: Brady Rosenberg-’Look Out’

Mini Solo

1st: Aoife Nugent-’Blackbird’

2nd: Nina Poulimas-’Buenos Aires’

2nd: Ella Dobler-’Sara’

3rd: Eva Coufal-’As We Lose Sight’

4th: Taylor Page-’The Rose’

5th: Sydney Madurzak-’Eden’

5th: Gracie Adamson-’Rich Girl’

5th: Olivia Manship-’The Water Rises’

6th: Emmie Plitt-’This Old Heart of Mine’

7th: Sage Sulentic-’Breathe’

8th: Brielle Baumgart-’Blink of an Eye’

9th: Lilah Ryan-’Clay’

9th: Landry Wilson-’Let Her Go’

10th: Olivia Georgy-’I Can Breathe Again’

Junior Solo

1st: Natalia Garcia-’Hallelujah’

1st: Kylie Kaminsky-’The Offering’

2nd: Audrey Mayernik-’All Human Beings’

3rd: Ellie Buckland-’Le Jazz Hot’

3rd: Ella Sexton-’My Breaker My Keeper’

3rd: Kenley Fogltanz-’One Mistress’

4th: Kendall Burkhart-’Bending Shadows’

5th: Emma Arentz-’Noise’

6th: Nathan Carter-’Bringing The Heat’

6th: Amelia Duncan-’Lonely’

7th: Jake Siswick-’Corner of the Sky’

8th: Alessandra Rocco-’Avril14th’

8th: Madeline LaCoursiere-’Mama Yo’

8th: Gabriel Johnson-’When There Is Love’

9th: Keighan Kinard-’Native’

9th: Lily Neumann-’Red Flags’

9th: Sienna Yilk-’Sines’

10th: Keira McCarthy-’I Will Wait’

10th: Lila Block-’Madam’

10th: Sophia Padilla-’We Move Lightly’

Teen Solo

1st: Kylie Buedel-’Freyr’

1st: Ella Querrey-’Ottto’

2nd: Andres Jiminez-’Frontieres’

2nd: Blanche Arnold-’How To Be Your Own Person’

3rd: Taylor Dieter-’Portrait’

3rd: Tess Muelbroek-’The Prayer’

3rd: Scarlett Szewczyk-’Things They Don’t Talk About’

3rd: Ryan Hyun-’Underwater’

4th: Kaitlin Menz-’All Is Fair’

4th: Alexis Adair-’A.M’

4th: Ella McCarthy-’Anna’s Theme’

4th: Athena Reel-’Emerge’

4th: Cassie Kefalas-’Jealous’

4th: Sophia Springer-’Lannantuoni-’Thousand Years’

5th: Reese Noha-’Another Love’

5th: Callie Weinert-’Comfortable’

5th: Quinn Fridrich-’Cute’

5th: Micaella Gennett-’Remember’

5th: Kaja Chow-’Retreat’

5th: Kylie Czarnik-’Solace’

5th: Zoey Straka-’White Flip Flops’

5th: Brandon Wolfington-’yeah.’

6th: Audrey Donnelly-’Breakdown’

6th: Addison Sadowski-’iMi’

6th: Isabella Laucys-’Mood’

7th: Sophie Madden-’Collision’

7th: Audrey Zhu-’Everybody Knows’

7th: Emma McMahon-’On Broadway’

8th: Abigail Welenc-’Formidable’

8th: Keira McDonald-’Painting Greys’

9th: Shane Gould-’Changes’

9th: Kenzie Karges-’Enter One’

9th: Anna Coufal-’Into Wind’

9th: Sophia Balara-’Peace’

9th: Nevi Marinakos-’Rain’

10th: Avery DePaul-’Dissolved’

10th: Lilly Loften-’Greim69′

10th: Samantha Veerachat-’I Do What I Love’

10th: Delaine Tyler-’Inhale’

10th: Dylan Newman-’Next To You’

10th: Lara Kounkel-’The Sacrifice’

Senior Solo

1st: Katrina Hidalgo-’Jump’

1st: Elle Tosh-’Rubble’

1st: Sophie Tosh-’The’

2nd: Elisabeth Pabich-’The Art of Dealing With Pain’

3rd: Olivia Zeiml-’Armira’

3rd: Minda Li-’Efforts to Reignite’

4th: Samantha Schmaling-’Then I Heard A Bachelor’s Cry’

4th: Gabrielle Koenig-’Treve’

5th: Katie Kim-’River Rise’

5th: Kendall O’Keefe-’Sweet Dreams’

5th: Jordin Suwalski-’The End’

5th: Lexi Heath-’Visions of Gideon’

6th: Kaya Martin-’Golden’

6th: Ellie Rowoldt-’Remedy’

7th: Ola Asuan-’Gold’

7th: Brianna North-’Melancholia’

7th: Olivia Wegner-’Ship In A Bottle’

7th: Maliah Keaton-’Street Fighter’

7th: Colin McKee-’Tomorrow’

8th: Avery Boose-’Both Sides’

8th: Olivia Papa-’The Lakes’

8th: Emma Sangorska-’Twilight’

8th: Mackenzie Haensgen-’Vendetta’

9th: Ella Schwarzenbach-Don’t Look Down’

9th: Madeline Bannwarth-’Godspeed’

9th: Rachel Samojedny-’Heart of Glass’

9th: Cammie Schultz-’Past Lives’

9th: Madison Burkhart-’Revolution’

10th: Keaton Eakins-’All My Heroes’

10th: Kayla Kamilis-’A New Emotion’

10th: Amelya Fox-’The Wire’

10th: Allie DeMay-’Timeless Flight’

NUbie Duo/Trio

1st: Steps Dance Center-’Wash That Man’

2nd: Steps Dance Center-’Get Silly’

Mini Duo/Trio

1st: Steps Dance Center-’Take It’

2nd: Steps Dance Center-’Girls Just Wanna Have Fun’

3rd: Steps Dance Center-’Do It Like This’

Junior Duo/Trio

1st: Artistic Edge Dance Centre-’Spring’

2nd: Accent on Dance Mukwonago-’Smiling With You’

3rd: Embody Dance Company-’Ashes’

Teen Duo/Trio

1st: Artistic Edge Dance Centre-’Cello Sonata’

2nd: The Colony-’Slippin’

3rd: Nolte Academy-’Unison’

Senior Duo/Trio

1st: Nolte Academy-’Colors’

1st: Steps Dance Center-’Hot Hit’

1st: Artistic Edge Dance Centre-’Symphony of Sorrow’

2nd: Woodbury Dance Center-’Lonely’

3rd: Academy of Dance Arts-’Circumstance’

NUbie Group

1st: Inspire School of Dance-’How Will I Know’

2nd: Steps Dance Center-’Walk The Dinosaur’

Mini Group

1st: Inspire School of Dance-’I Won’t Hurt You’

2nd: Steps Dance Center-’SHHHH!’

3rd: Inspire School of Dance-’Despicable Me’

Junior Group

1st: Academy of Dance Arts-’All That’s Left’

1st: The Colony-’Lose Control’

2nd: Steps Dance Center-’Jet Black’

3rd: Steps Dance Center-’Falling’

3rd: Inspire School of Dance-’Tightrope’

Teen Group

1st: Steps Dance Center-’Magnets’

2nd: Steps Dance Center-’Get Low’

3rd: Steps Dance Center-’Ripple Effect’

Senior Group

1st: Inspire School of Dance-’Confessions’

2nd: Woodbury Dance Center-’What Happens to the Heart’

3rd: Steps Dance Center-’Forget Your Troubles’

NUbie Line

1st: Inspire School of Dance-’Monday Monday’

2nd: Elevate Dance Experience-’Zero to Hero’

3rd: Steps Dance Center-’Special Delivery’

Mini Line

1st: Impact Dance Studio-’Go Your Own Way’

2nd: Impact Dance Studio-’You Can’t Stop The Beat’

3rd: Inspire School of Dance-’I Do What I Love’

Junior Line

1st: Impact Dance Studio-’Derniere Danse’

1st: Impact Dance Studio-’Mein Herr’

2nd: Impact Dance Studio-’Hallelujah’

3rd: Academy of Dance Arts-’Perfect Harmony’

Teen Line

1st: Impact Dance Studio-’New York New York’

2nd: The Colony-’They Don’t Love You’

3rd: Artistic Edge Dance Centre-’Santa Maria’

Senior Line

1st: Woodbury Dance Center-’Cleopatra In New York’

2nd: Impact Dance Studio-’Here Comes The Rain’

3rd: Woodbury Dance Center-’Uninvited’

Mini Extended Line

1st: Steps Dance Center-’Ay Caramba!’

2nd: Elevate Dance Experience-’Pray’

3rd: Steps Dance Center-’I Won’t Dance’

Junior Extended Line

1st: Inspire School of Dance-’It’s A Hard Life’

1st: Inspire School of Dance-’Thoughts’

2nd: Steps Dance Center-’Looking for Something’

3rd: Inspire School of Dance-’Get Jiggy’

Teen Extended Line

1st: Artistic Edge Dance Centre-’Recomposed Summer’

2nd: Steps Dance Center-’Flight of Fancy’

2nd: Inspire School of Dance-’Ya Nas’

3rd: Elevate Dance Experience-’Everybody’

Senior Extended Line

1st: Steps Dance Center-’Show Me’

2nd: Steps Dance Center-’Gimme A Beat’

3rd: Academy of Dance Arts-’Epiphany’

Junior Production

1st: Impact Dance Studio-’One More Time’

Teen Production

1st: Inspire School of Dance-’Free’

2nd: Elevate Dance Experience-’All For Us’

High Scores by Performance Division:

NUbie Jazz

1st: Inspire School of Dance-’How Will I Know’ 2nd: Elevate Dance Experience-’Zero to Hero’ 3rd: Steps Dance Center-’Let’s Boogie’

NUbie Hip-Hop

1st: Steps Dance Center-’Special Delivery’

NUbie Lyrical

1st: Inspire School of Dance-’We Belong’

NUbie Specialty

1st: Inspire School of Dance-’Monday Monday’

Mini Jazz

1st: Impact Dance Studio-’You Can’t Stop The Beat’ 2nd: Inspire School of Dance-’I Do What I Love’ 3rd: Inspire School of Dance-’Awoo’

Mini Ballet

1st: Steps Dance Center-’Pizzicato Polka’

Mini Hip-Hop

1st: Steps Dance Center-’Ice Cream’ 2nd: Steps Dance Center-’SHHHH!’ 3rd: Inspire School of Dance-’Roller Girlz’

Mini Tap

1st: Steps Dance Center-’Pennies from Heaven’

Mini Contemporary

1st: Inspire School of Dance-’I Won’t Hurt You’ 2nd: Inspire School of Dance-’Cattails’ 3rd: Elevate Dance Experience-’Pray’

Mini Lyrical

1st: Impact Dance Studio-’Go Your Own Way’ 2nd: Inspire School of Dance-’Daughter’ 3rd: Steps Dance Center-’Rainbow’

Mini Musical Theatre

1st: Steps Dance Center-’Ay Caramba!’ 2nd: Steps Dance Center-’Revolting Children’ 3rd: Elevate Dance Experience-’We Go Together’

Mini Specialty

1st: Inspire School of Dance-’Despicable Me’ 2nd: Inspire School of Dance-’Zooma Zooma’

Junior Jazz

1st: Impact Dance Studio-’One More Time’ 1st: Academy of Dance Arts-’Perfect Harmony’ 2nd: Steps Dance Center-’Dummy’ 3rd: Embody Dance Company-’I Want To Love You’

Junior Ballet

1st: Steps Dance Center-’One Note’

Junior Hip-Hop

1st: Steps Dance Center-’New Zs’ 2nd: Steps Dance Center-’Jet Black’ 3rd: Steps Dance Center-’Looking for Something’

Junior Contemporary

1st: Inspire School of Dance-’Thoughts’ 2nd: The Colony-’Lose Control’ 3rd: Steps Dance Center-’From The Lily Pad’

Junior Lyrical

1st: Impact Dance Studio-’Hallelujah’ 2nd: Academy of Dance Arts-’All That’s Left’ 3rd: Steps Dance Center-’Falling’

Junior Musical Theatre

1st: Impact Dance Studio-’Mein Herr’ 2nd: Elevate Dance Experience-’I Wanna Rock’ 3rd: Steps Dance Center-’Telephone Hour’ 

Junior Specialty

1st: Impact Dance Studio-’Derniere Danse’ 2nd: Inspire School of Dance-’It’s A Hard Life’ 3rd: Inspire School of Dance-’Tightrope’

Teen Jazz

1st: Inspire School of Dance-’Free’ 2nd: Artistic Edge Dance Centre-’Santa Maria’ 3rd: Inspire School of Dance-’Somebody to Love’

Teen Ballet

1st: Impact Dance Studio-’Welcome to the Jungle’ 2nd: Steps Dance Center-’Concerto’ 3rd: Steps Dance Center-’Ascension’

Teen Hip-Hop

1st: Steps Dance Center-’Magnets’ 2nd: Steps Dance Center-’Get Low’ 3rd: Steps Dance Center-’Back It Up’ 3rd: Inspire School of Dance-’Give It Away Now’

Teen Tap

1st: Steps Dance Center-’Brain Stew’ 2nd: Steps Dance Center-’In The Air Tonight’

Teen Contemporary

1st: Artistic Edge Dance Centre-’Recomposed Summer’ 2nd: The Colony-’They Don’t Love You’ 3rd: Steps Dance Center-’Ripple Effect’

Teen Lyrical

1st: Inspire School of Dance-’Son’ 2nd: Artistic Edge Dance Centre-’Then You Look At Me’ 2nd: Steps Dance Center-’Nicest Thing’ 3rd: Embody Dance Company-’Turning Tables’

Teen Musical Theatre

1st: Impact Dance Studio-’New York New York’ 2nd: Elevate Dance Experience-’A Chorus Line’ 3rd: Embody Dance Company-’Nowadays’

Teen Specialty

1st: Steps Dance Center-’Flight of Fancy’ 1st: Inspire School of Dance-’Ya Nas’ 2nd: The Colony-’Said and Done’ 3rd: Artistic Edge Dance Centre-’Highest Flood’

Senior Jazz

1st: Woodbury Dance Center-’Cleopatra In New York’ 2nd: Steps Dance Center-’Forget Your Troubles’ 3rd: Artistic Edge Dance Centre-’Fade’

Senior Hip-Hop

1st: Steps Dance Center-’Show Me’ 2nd: Woodbury Dance Center-’CrAzY’

Senior Tap

1st: Academy of Dance Arts-’Creep’ 2nd: Academy of Dance Arts-’Bird Song’

Senior Contemporary

1st: Inspire School of Dance-’Confessions’ 2nd: Woodbury Dance Center-’Uninvited’ 2nd: Woodbury Dance Center-’What Happens to the Heart’ 3rd: Academy of Dance Arts-’Calamity’

Senior Lyrical

1st: Academy of Dance Arts-’Epiphany’ 2nd: Artistic Edge Dance Centre-’How Do I Live’ 2nd: Steps Dance Center-’Empty Space’ 3rd: Woodbury Dance Center-’Vagabond’

Senior Specialty

1st: Impact Dance Studio-’Here Comes The Rain’ 2nd: Artistic Edge Dance Centre-’Moonlight Presto’ 3rd: Steps Dance Center-’Gimme A Beat’

Best NU Groups:

NUbie

Steps Dance Center-’Special Delivery’

Inspire School of Dance-’Monday Monday’

Elevate Dance Experience-’Zero to Hero’

Mini

Steps Dance Center-’Ice Cream’

Inspire School of Dance-’I Won’t Hurt You’

Impact Dance Studio-’Go Your Own Way’

Junior

Steps Dance Center-’New Zs’

Inspire School of Dance-’It’s A Hard Life’

Academy of Dance Arts-’Perfect Harmony’

Impact Dance Studio-’Derniere Danse’

The Colony-’Lose Control’

Teen

Inspire School of Dance-’Ya Nas’

Impact Dance Studio-’New York New York’

The Colony-’They Don’t Love You’

Elevate Dance Experience-’All For Us’

Steps Dance Center-’Magnets’

Artistic Edge Dance Centre-’Recomposed Summer’

Senior

Inspire School of Dance-’Confessions’

Impact Dance Studio-’Here Comes The Rain’

Woodbury Dance Center-’Cleopatra In New York’

Academy of Dance Arts-’Epiphany’

Artistic Edge Dance Centre-’Moonlight Presto’

Steps Dance Center-’Forget Your Troubles’

Studio Pick:

Steps Dance Center-’Magnets’

Academy of Dance Arts-’Epiphany’

Artistic Edge Dance Centre-’Recomposed Summer’

Elevate Dance Experience-’All For Us’

Embody Dance Company-’Turning Tables’

Inspire School of Dance-’Ya Nas’

Lake Shore Dance-  Port Washington-’Heaven I Know’

[rachelkaser]

Stay Golden Sunday: Take Him, He’s Mine

Dorothy foists a needy Stan off onto Blanche, only for it to backfire. Sophia and Rose try to start a sandwich business.

Picture It...

Sophia tries to convince Rose to join her in a new business venture: A sandwich stand on the beach. Rose seems open to the idea, even if Sophia is very pushy about it. Dorothy enters, excited and dressed for a date with her new squeeze, Jeffrey the naval commodore. Blanche enters and tells Dorothy that Stan’s unexpectedly arrives. He asks to speak to Dorothy, and she tells him she’ll give him a minute.

BLANCHE: Dorothy, guess who’s here? DOROTHY: My date! BLANCHE: Your husband. DOROTHY: I don’t have a husband. Call the police. STAN: *appearing in the doorway* Your ex-husband. DOROTHY: I’ll call the police.

In the living room, Stan breaks down crying and tells Dorothy he lost his business. Dorothy is sympathetic, but tells Stan she doesn’t have time for him right now. He begs Dorothy to keep him company for the night, and Dorothy goes into the kitchen to ask the Girls a favor: For one of them to do it instead. She hones in on Blanche and bribes her with a promise to introduce her to Jeffrey’s sailor friends. Blanche tells Stan to wait while she gets dressed.

Rose and Sophia are making sandwiches in the kitchen, substituting potatoes for tomatoes in their BLTs. Dorothy comes home from her date with Jeffrey, which was a huge success, and laments that she stuck Stan with Blanche. As if on cue, Blanche comes home from a, to use her word, “bizarre” date. Dorothy expertly guesses what Stan’s odd idea of a night out was, including a meal he ordered for Blanche at a cheap Indian restaurant. Blanche says it actually wasn’t so bad, and they’re going out again the next night. Dorothy’s a bit uncomfortable, but doesn’t object to it.

Sophia hustles Rose out of the house at 5:30 am, waking Dorothy in the process. They’re trying to beat a rival sandwich vendor named Johnny No-Thumbs, who Dorothy accurately pegs is mob-connected. However, she has other worries: Jeffrey dumped her under the guise of shipping out on a top-secret mission. Blanche unexpectedly comes home from a date with Stan to a now-pissed off Dorothy.

The next day, they’re shopping in a grocery store, and Dorothy is giving Blanche the silent treatment. She believes Blanche slept with Stan the previous night, which Blanche denies. Blanche protests that Dorothy was the one who asked her to go out with Stan, and that it’s unfair for Dorothy to be angry at her just because she didn’t have a terrible time. Dorothy realizes that she’s not acting right and apologizes to Blanche . . . at least until Blanche says she’s going out with Stan again that night.

*Blanche’s grocery cart taps Sophia’s* SOPHIA: Ah! I hurt my back, I’m paralyzed! BLANCHE: Sophia? SOPHIA: Oh, it’s you. Look where you’re going.

They cross paths with Sophia and Rose, who’re getting supplies for their sandwich business. Blanche is worried because Johnny No-Thumbs leaned on them, but Sophia says she’s going to call in her own connections. Meanwhile, Dorothy continues to rage at Blanche for going out with Stan, making a scene such that other shoppers get involved. Finally Blanche gets exasperated at protesting her innocence and storms off.

Later that night, Sophia is trying to school Rose on proper business practices, including the valuable lesson to “Quit being an idiot.” Dorothy is coming in and out of the kitchen, seething that Blanche is still out. Sophia tells a “Picture It” story about coming to America, only to prove Rose forgot the aforementioned lesson. Dorothy grabs her coat to go to Stan’s hotel room and confront him and Blanche. Right after she leaves, there’s a ring at the bell: Two thugs walk in, saying Johnny No-Thumbs sent them.

ROSE: Sophia, it’s for you!

In Stan’s hotel room, he’s got company and tells her to hide under the covers when Dorothy knocks. Dorothy tells him she’s just there to talk to “her,” pointing at the bed. She goes on a long monologue about how hurt she is that the woman under the covers would put dating Stan ahead of their friendship and is mad at her for not being honest about sleeping with him. The person in the bed throws the covers back: It’s a 20-something blonde who laughs in Dorothy’s horrified face.

Dorothy returns home to see Sophia and Rose with flowers. Sophia’s own mob connections came through and got Johnny No-Thumbs to back off. The two are also getting out of the sandwich business. They tell Dorothy that Blanche is in the living room. Dorothy goes out there and sincerely apologizes, saying her emotions were very confusing and she shouldn’t have taken it out on Blanche. Blanche accepts her apology and says her word for those weird feelings is “magenta.” They make up, and Blanche asks Dorothy why she ever married a man like Stan. Dorothy says Stan used to be handsome, charming, and there’s one other reason:

DOROTHY: And, of course, I was four months pregnant.

“Stanley, you truly are one chromosome away from being a potato.”

Stan makes his second season debut in an episode where he really only appears at the beginning and the end, despite him being the source of conflict. We get another instance of Blanche and Dorothy getting into conflict over a man, as well as a B-plot of Sophia’s get-rich-quick schemes, the latter of which Rose is also drawn into. Each of the Girls has something to do this episode, and the handling of some fairly complex and incendiary emotions elevates it above a simple love triangle episode -- though not by much, if I’m being honest.

Bea Arthur gets to put on a masterclass of conflicting emotions. Even before Jeffrey dumps her, she’s still uncomfortable with her ex-husband and her best friend getting close, but it really reaches a fever pitch afterwards. She’s upset, can’t really articulate why, and even admits that she doesn’t fully understand what she’s feeling. I really appreciate it when a show doesn’t hold my hand and spell out what a character’s feeling, letting me figure out why Dorothy might be bent out of shape without having her say it outright.

ROSE: *about selling English muffins disguised as Belgian waffles* I was cute then, so I could get away with it. SOPHIA: Don’t worry, you get cute again when you hit 80. How do you think I’m gonna peddle this slop?

The “magenta” scene is probably the best of the episode, and the most quoteable in day-to-day life. If there were ever a single word that describes feeling a mess of emotions all at once, it would probably be “magenta.” I don’t even hate magenta, like Blanche does, but I still use it sometimes.

Stan is a . . . tricky character. On the one hand, Herb Edelman’s charm and chemistry with the actresses, Bea Arthur especially, makes him fun to watch and he makes sympathetic a character who might otherwise be pretty unlikeable. But on the other hand, his actions are pretty unlikeable here. Sure, he’s going through a personal crisis, but he imposes himself on his ex-wife (whom he left after 38 years of marriage for a younger woman with nary a goodbye, let us not forget) and refuses to take no for an answer when she refuses to spend her evening comforting him.

It’s a bit odd that, other than a couple of lines exchanged at the very beginning of the episode, we don’t see Stan and Blanche actually interact. Considering their burgeoning friendship is the conflict of the episode, I think it would have added something to the episode -- not to mention I feel we missed something by not having Rue McClanahan and Herb Edelman do any scenes together. Also, where is Stan, who just lost his business, getting the money to take Blanche on the dates that he is?

STAN: I lost it, Dorothy! DOROTHY: *looking off to the side* You never had it, Stanley!

Then again, it’s probably a good thing that we don’t see too much, because the lack of information is what gives Dorothy’s suspicions their impact. I wish she trusted Blanche a bit more and didn’t immediately jump to thinking the worst of her, but I can also see why it’s hard for her to believe Blanche can have a platonic relationship with a man -- any man. And I also appreciate Blanche standing up for herself, even reaching a point where she’s not going to humor Dorothy anymore.

The B-plot marks the second get-rich-quick scheme the Girls have partaken in in three episodes. It’ll be a recurring secondary plot on this show, mostly instigated by Sophia, and this is the first time she’s roped someone else into it. She and Rose make an hilarious pair, especially with her constantly taking advantage of Rose’s naivete and dimness. The ministory about Johnny No-Thumbs attempting to lean on them and Uncle Vito from Palermo leaning right back with a threat to “Johnny No-Knees” is the most amusing part of the episode.

Still, I do have some logistical questions. Rose has apparently got her job as a grief counselor back and is no longer a waitress at the Fountain Rock -- no explanation for that, but whatever, I can suspend my disbelief. Presumably that means she has to work normal hours, so how does she have time to man a sandwich stand with Sophia?

SOPHIA: Lesson number one: Quit being an idiot! ROSE: Okay! SOPHIA: Lesson number two: The law of supply and demand. Before you supply the sandwiches, you demand the money. Lesson number three: Quit being an idiot. [...] ROSE: That’s a really moving story, Sophia. But what exactly is the point? SOPHIA: The point is, you already forgot lessons one and three: Quit being an idiot!

Also, this marks, I think, the second time in the series that Sophia tells a “Picture It...” story. It’s a blatant lie, of course, but Estelle Getty makes every one of these enjoyable.

Episode rating: 🍰🍰🍰 (three cheesecake slices out of five)

Favorite Part of the Episode:

ROSE: Where are you going? DOROTHY: To either get ice cream or commit a felony. I’ll decide in the car.

[seirei-bh]

My version of Sly’s mother! :3

And here you have her bio and also my headcanons about how Conner Cooper and she met each other and fell in love:

Full name: Rosemarie Fontaine/ Cooper.

Specie: cat.

Occupation: lawyer (and temporary masked vigilante and ally of the Original Cooper Gang)

Nicknames: Marie, Rose, Rosy, milady (by Conner), and “Rose Blanche” (her nickname as masked vigilante)

 Marie was born in Fontainebleau, Paris, France. Her parents died in a voyage because the ship was sunk by Raleigh and his crew of pirates and all their jewels and money were stolen. However, the police never found enough proofs and Raleigh's lawyer got a watertight alibi for him, so he didn't go to jail and the police just closed the case.

Marie was a kid, so she was raised by her grandparents, and was pretty close to her grandmother: Giselle Fontaine, a rich aritocat and ex member of Interpol. After Marie finds out what happened with Catherine's family (her best friend at highschool), she spent her teenage years finding proofs about Raleigh's crimes and Muggshot's, and she decided that she would become in lawyer some day.

Marie met Conner Cooper in the 70s, in a formal party previous of an auction. Marie had heard that Sir Raleigh was the one who organized the auction and she thought that probably everything that was going to be auctioned were stolen treassures, and it turned out to be true, because the necklace with a sapphire that belonged to her mother was there.

That night, Conner came to the party too, he was planning to steal all Raleigh's stolen treassures, he was in disguise and danced with Marie just for the fun of "conquer a heart of another naive aristocratic pretty girl", but Marie realized who really was him since the beginning. She teased him while both were dancing: "if you're a Master Thief so efficient as I've heard outhere and it's true that you only steal to criminals, then prove it to me, Cooper. Unless those were just a bunch of lies proclaimed by a kiddo with a big ego..." That mockery and her amused smirk were enough to convice him to make a deal.

Both worked together, she distracted the guests and showed the true identity of that villain to all of them, ending with Raleigh's good reputation in aristocracy while Conner was stealing his loot and defeating his guards. Unfortunately, Raleigh managed to scape, but Conner stole the necklace and returned it to Marie, as he promised, and Raleigh was chased by the police and had to remain hidden for the rest of his life.

Since that moment Conner usually visited her at night every weekend on her balcony, he told her stories about his adventures as master thief and they shared romantic dinners on the rooftops of Paris. But when both began to falling in love with each other, he got panic.

Conner broke up with her and left during two years. In that time, Marie's grandmother died but Marie carried on and became in lawyer. She fought for the triumph of  justice in her country, sent horrible criminals to jail and defended innocent people and sometimes also to people guilty of minor charges.  However, there were criminals who managed dodging the Justice thanks to their influences or because of lack of evidence about their crimes, so Marie decided to became in "Rose Blanche", a masked vigilante, to spy and defeat criminals during the night while she still kept working as lawyer during the day.

She grew up and became a strong-willed woman and she thoght she wouldn't see Cooper never again, until one day...

The Cooper Gang find out there is a band of criminals who were stealing and murdering innocent people and whom cheat the police to made them believe that was the Cooper Gang who did it. Between those crimes, it was also murdered a victim who Marie defended in the past in a case, and she wants to get justice, so she finds The Cooper Gang and worked together to find the truth and gather enough evidences against the real criminals. Months later, they found out who was behind those crimes: Clockwerk.

During those months, Conner often flirted with Marie and tries to impress her, but they didn't come together because she disliked his attitude with his comrades (specially with "M" Moureau) and his reputation of womanizer.

On a mission, Clockwerk found Conner, he manages to scape but ends up seriously injured. When Marie taking care of his injuries, Conner reveals to her that the main reason why he left was because Clockwerk finished with all his family and he couldn't stand the idea of losing her too, and tells her that she should leave the case now she's not fully involved yet and that she deserves to live a happy and long life with a good man.

However, Marie decided to stay with him because she had already got a lot of enemies as lawyer and masked vigilante anyways, because she was determined to defeat Clockwerk and his band, but foremost because she loves Conner and she didn't want to leave him alone in his worst moment. She told him: "No matter what happens, we will always have each other, so we'll never be alone. Any of us have a family anymore, but we could be a family. So what you say? Will you marry me, mon amour?"

They got married in secret and when Sly Cooper was born (in 1984), Marie donated almost all her money to orphanages and charities, and Conner and her bought a farm in somewhere in USA. When their enemies were too many and their lives were put in a worse danger, they left their jobs and dedicated the rest of their lives to raise and protect their son. Despite their difficult lifestyle, both were very happy in those years, Marie never lost her joy and Sly learned from her to always keep his positivity up even in the worst moments, to be loyal and to cherish his family and friends.

[one-of-us-blog]

The Chicken and the Egg (TGP, Episode 24)

Today Eli is forced to watch and recap The Chicken and the Egg, the final episode of The Golden Palace.  In this installment, Blanche entertains the idea of having another child with a random boyfriend, while Roland uses his martial arts mastery to teach the local elderly community to lay down some street justice.  Will the final chapter of the show serve as a fitting conclusion to this epic saga?  Keep reading to find out…

Well, here we are!  I don’t quite know what to say before I dive into one last recap, as I want to save my thoughts on the project in general for my very last post.  With that in mind, let’s do this.

Buttocks tight!

Episode written by Mitchell Hurwitz, directed by Lex Passaris

Sophia enters the hotel lobby declaring that “It’s gone.”  Chuy guesses that she is referring to her short-term memory, but Sophia ignores him and wonders aloud who the Mexican is.  She says that her purse was stolen by some thug and blames the Bush economy.  With a few more questions, she reluctantly reveals that the purse was stolen while within Rose’s now also-stolen car, which Sophia “borrowed” without asking.  Additionally, the thief might have gotten pretty far since Sophia had just filled up the gas tank using Rose’s credit card.  Roland considers teaching a self-defense seminar at the hotel to deal with these situations, and casually mentions that he has a blue belt in Tae Kwon Do.  Blanche is all dressed up and demanding compliments as she has a hot date with Bobby Lee, a cattle baron from Austin.  Her daughter Rebecca is also coming to visit Blanche’s (shudder) birthday, so we have all the pieces in place for our final outing!

We cut to Blanche and Bobby Lee in the hotel lobby, and he wastes very little time in sitting Blanche down to propose.  He wants Blanche to agree to be his wife!  Oh, and he also wants her to agree to have his children.  Say what now?  She attempts to pump the brakes, but he says that he knows she is older than she claims.  Still, breeding is his business and Bobby suggests letting the doctors worry about the details.  She simply has to say “yes,” and caught up in the moment, she does just that.

Blanche soon makes an announcement to her friends about her engagement and receives congratulations.  She then announces her plan to have a baby and receives mockery.  Sophia calls her a fossil, and Rose suggests that perhaps that ship has already sailed.  Like, way back in End of the Curse.  Rose also speculates that this is all a result of Blanche’s hatred of birthdays, but Blanche says that this is something that Bobby Lee wants and she “owes” it to him to try.  Gross.  Blanche also points out that medical science has come a long way, and she could potentially have another woman’s fertilized egg implanted.  Roland reminds Blanche that she should really consider adoption, and then probably laughs and laughs in his head as he remembers that he is totally off the hook with Oliver, or whatever that little burden’s name was.

Roland dons his Tae Kwon Do garb and prepares to instruct a class of elderly women on the finer points of kicking a man in the balls.  Someone hurls a bottle of estrogen at his head and he shames a masculine-looking lady, so things are really off to a great start.  Roland attempts to bond with a student names Sylvia, who mentions that she enrolled because she wants to put her bastard husband through a window for calling her frail.  To get down to business, Roland reveals that Chuy will be playing the part of the “attacker” in class, and he enters in a padded suit, snarling like a bear.  It takes the old ladies approximately 2.5 seconds to swarm and beat the shit out of him.

Blanche has checked in with Bobby Lee about the possibility of adoption and says that he (predictably) has no interest in caring for someone he didn’t help to create.  Rose wonders where Blanche will find someone with a compatible medical history to give her an egg, and at just that moment her daughter Rebecca shows up.  They hug, and Rebecca says that Blanche can have anything she wants for her birthday.  Blanche only has her sights on an egg.

After having a presumably uncomfortable conversation with her daughter, Blanche tells Rose that Rebecca didn’t agree to her request right away and will have to think things over.  Blanche insists that she isn’t as old as everyone seems to think she is, and Rebecca shows up again to mildly rain on her parade.  Blanche doesn’t want to be lectured, but Rebecca says that although she doesn’t think any of this is a good idea, she is willing to give her mother what she wants despite her objections.

Blanche seems to be having a rough night, tossing and turning in bed.  Unable to sleep, she goes downstairs and discovers that she is super pregnant with a huge belly!  Actually, Rose says that she went to the clinic with Blanche, and she got pregnant too!  The two show off their enormous midsections and Rose complains about all of the morning sickness, varicose veins, cravings, and back pain that come along with pregnancy, and that they had both forgotten about.  The surprises keep coming as Sophia is pregnant too, maneuvering her own belly around on a wheeled contraption.  The trio somehow manages to gather at the kitchen table, where Sophia gives Blanche a good kicking for talking them all into this mess.  Blanche says that she didn’t mean that “anyone” can get pregnant, but it’s too late, this scene has already gone off the rails; Roland is pregnant too and experiencing some major mood swings.  We aren’t done yet, folks, Chuy has a bun in the oven as well!  More specifically, he is carrying his bun in his backside for the sake of a dumb joke.  Blanche apologizes profusely to everyone…

…and then a worried Rose wakes her up from her dream!  Can you believe it?

The parking attendant from the neighboring hotel shows up with Sophia’s purse, and everyone realizes that Sophia actually just accidentally valet parked Rose’s car.  Unfortunately for the attendant, Sophia and her gang of newly-trained Tae Kwon Do grannies choose this moment to wander in, and they all swarm Sophia’s “assailant.”  Blanche needs to talk to Bobby Lee, who arrives at the hotel at just this moment.  She is about to tell him that she doesn’t want to have a baby after all when he breaks down and admits that he is sterile.  Both parties continue to insist that they are not old, but Blanche says that perhaps they can accept that they are “approaching middle age” and still have some fun together.  Bobby Lee throws out a parting reference to his freezer full of bull semen, and leaves.  Rebecca then comes downstairs, and Blanche tells her that she was right.  Rebecca says that she just wants Blanche to be proud of the person she is, and they hug it out in the show’s final embrace.

For one closing scene, we find Chuy fleeing into the hotel elevator to escape the gang of violent older women that Roland has unleashed on the world.  He almost makes it to safety, until Rose foils his plan.  The very last image we are ever to see in the Golden Universe is that of Chuy being descended upon by the angry mob.

The End.

I have to say, while this is the final episode of the series and I’d like to go out on a high note, I kind of wish that this episode and the previous one had been swapped.  I know I enjoyed the wacky antics of Roland policing vacationing young adults and Chuy building a giant burrito, but the pregnancy dream sequence in this episode just seemed silly without actually bothering to be funny.  That, plus I feel like the whole angle of one of the girls (specifically Blanche) lamenting her lost youth and reproductive capability was already done by The Golden Girls, and done better.  Bobby Lee seemed like kind of a creep to me, and it also seemed weird that Blanche was ready to marry a character in the very first scene in which he was introduced.  It wasn’t a total loss, as I kind of enjoyed the idea of a gang of pissed-off grannies wandering the streets of Miami and stirring up trouble, and I liked that the show’s final message was that you should love yourself just the way you are, so I’ll leave things with that very positive thought in mind.  Still, I’m giving The Chicken and the Egg a rating of 3 poofy hairdos out of 5.

I can’t believe that I have written my final recap for this big, crazy project, but I’ll still return one more time to share some final thoughts on the series and what One of Us! has meant to me.  But before then, you can still treat yourself to one more recap from the real powerhouse of this duo, as Drew will soon be sharing his thoughts on the most recent Bond film, SPECTRE.  Until then, as always, thank you for being a friend, and for being One of Us!

[amuletrebel]

Bring May Flowers (Ch. 30)

AO3 Link / FF.net Link

Prompt: Mari!Burglar and Chat!Vigilante

When Adrien came back to school, clear skies overhead, he brought with him a big bouquet of Sweet Peas to thank his Princess for her generous visit. He knew that she would understand why Sweet Peas instead of the traditional roses. He came to school later than Marinette would, choosing to stay out of sight behind the bushes near the stairs. The blonde had to take several breaths to calm his racing heart. Yes, he and Marinette have been dating for a few weeks, both and Chat Noir and Marinette and now recently Adrien and Marinette—Nino and Alya teased them and their supposed ship name, which was Adrienette. Whenever they did, he’d take Mari’s hand and place a kiss on it, saying that as long as she was beside him, he’d continue to try and be worthy of being half of the name. Marinette would turn a fiery red and look away with a shy giggle. Adrien straightened his spine as the last person entered the school. With another deep breath and internal pep talk, the model walked into the school as well. He’d seen Marinette enter on time, so he was relieved that his grand plan wasn’t ruined. About 5 minutes before the bell, Adrien entered the designated classroom, Marinette in her new spot that Nino was happy to switch with her so, as Alya put it, the most sickeningly sweet couple in school (if not all of Paris) could always be together. The blonde coughed once, catching Marinette’s attention. When she looked up at him with her beautiful bluebell eyes, he pulled the bouquet out from behind his back. “For you, mon amour,” he said, making his girlfriend blush as she accepted the flowers, smelling them. Everyone ‘awww’ed at the display of affection. Well, almost everyone. Chloe gagged, but the subtle hint of being happy for them was evident to someone who really knew her. “Merci,” the blunette shyly thanked, hiding her reddened cheeks behind the lovely gradient pink flowers. “But none of them compare to you. Princess.” Okay, now everyone gagged. Alix even insisted they get a room. Alya and Nino gave him a thumbs-up after they were done barfing over the lovey-dovey atmosphere. Soon enough, Miss Bustier came into class with her same sunny smile and started the lesson of the day. Marinette scooted close to Adrien when she put her bouquet to the left of her on the bench. He laid his hand on top of hers under the table, and he smiled when she gave his hand a little squeeze.

Adrien gently swung Marinette’s hands while their fingers were intertwined. He decided to take his lovely girlfriend out on a leisurely walk on the town. They came across multiple cafés and boutiques. He insisted to buy her just about everything that she eyed for longer than 30 seconds, but she always refused. In Marinette’s words, she wasn’t dating him for his money, so he didn’t need to feel obligated to buy her anything. The blonde reluctantly agreed, offering to buy her some Starbucks instead. The pigtailed conceded to that, at least. The pair stopped at a game store as they sipped on their frappuccinos. They perused the PC section, pointing out anything interesting. Adrien took a glance at the cashier, who was looking at them with a touched expression. Guess she was a fan of couples walking into the store. The blonde looked back at Marinette when he heard her gasp. He noticed the sparkle in her eyes and followed her gaze to a high shelf. “Inner Facade 4,” the blunette whispered in awe. “I thought they cancelled production…” Adrien smiled softly and retrieved the game off the shelf, letting go of hand. Marinette looked at him with confusion, but then did a double take when he moved toward the cashier. “I’d like to buy this, please,” the model stated, reaching into his pocket and pulling out his wallet, “as a gift.” “Adrien!” Marinette whined, stomping her foot. “I said you don’t have to buy me anything!” “I know I don’t have to,” her boyfriend argued, “But I want to. We could even play together.” “It’s a single-player game.” “Then I’ll watch you kick butt in an jrpg. Everyone wins.” The cashier cooed and put the game in a little bag. “That’s so sweet. Well, now you have something extra. Today we’re giving away a promotional item with every purchase.” She held up the little card pack. It had Confessions on the front. “It’s a little game to play with friends, family, and lovers. Have fun~!” She placed the pack in the bag and handed it to Adrien. Adrien thanked her and held his arm out for Marinette to take. The pigtailed girl smacked his arm while pouting, but then kissed his cheek and put her arm in his as they walked out, wondering if they should play their little bonus game that night.

They decided yes. Yes, they would play their new game. Chat jumped down into Marinette’s room through her open hatch and closed it behind him. Marinette was sitting cross-legged on the floor with the card game on the floor, along with a 2-liter gallon of soda and two glasses. He sat across from her and eyed the drink. “I read the instructions,” Marinette explained, shuffling the cards. “I figured we’d do a little something extra. Since we’re too young to drink, I decided to mix it up a bit.” She handed one glass to Chat and poured in about a shot’s worth of soda into it. “If we refuse to answer, we take a shot. First one who needs to pee loses.” The hero chuckled and smirked. “Alright, Purrincess~ You’re on!” About an hour in, the pair were a giggling mess. Neither of them needed to use the restroom yet, so the game was still going strong. But Marinette’s stomach started to rumble a little and she discretely clutched it. “My turn!” the blonde declared and picked up a card. “Have you ever stolen anything?” he off the card. Marinette visibly paled, loudly gulping. Chat smirked, not looking at her. “This is an easy one. Even I know the answer.” The blunette blanched, her eyes widening fearfully. “You…Y-you do…?” she whimpered. “Of course I do,” her boyfriend answered and turned to her, “It’s obviously— Hey what’s wrong?” Once he got a good look at her face, he immediately became concerned. “Are you okay, Princess?” He knelt down and took her face in his hands. “How did you find out?” Marinette questioned, her voice barely above a whisper. And then she started babbling. “You were never supposed to find out. Look, I’m sorry I took your phone, but at the time, I was content watching you from afar. And now I know I didn’t stand a chance at the time. Well, I did, but not the way I wanted. And…I’m so, so sorry. Just the fact that you’re still here must mean you forgive me, but knowing that you know, I feel like I don’t deserve your forgiveness.” Chat blinked for a moment and then tilted his head. “You took my phone?” he asked, not a hint of anger in his voice. Marinette looked up at him through her bangs, equally confused. “Wait… That wasn’t what you were talking about?”

“No. But I do have some questions no. Why did you take my phone? And what’s this about not having a chance?” Marinette shyly pressed her index fingers together. “Well…I accidentally left a voicemail on your phone, asking you out on a date to the movies. But I never intended for you to hear it. You had enough on your plate with your modeling, your education, and your extracurriculars. And now I know you had a crush on Ladybug, who is actually me but you didn’t know that back then. So if you had received the message, you would’ve rejected me. So I went out of my way to erase the message. Unfortunately, the team back early and I had to make a dash with your phone.” She took a breath and released it slowly, going quiet. Chat didn’t scold her or yell. He laughed. He laughed heartily and held Marinette close, nuzzling her. All this time, he wondered where his phone went and how it magically appeared in his bookbag. “You’re crazy. But that’s one of the reasons I fell for you.” He kissed the top of her head. The blunette blushed and curled up in Chat’s arms. “Now I have a question, though. What did you think I stole if didn’t know about your phone?” “Why, Princess! It’s only the most valuable thing! You stole my heart!” Chat dramatically clutched his chest where his heart would be. “And for stealing such a treasure, I have to lock you up forever in the most impenetrable prison; my own two arms!” He grabbed her again and cradled her close, nuzzling her neck. Marinette giggled and kissed his head. “You’re such a silly kitty. But I wouldn’t love you any other way.”

“And I hope you stay the same crazy princess I know and love.” Their lips met in a loving kiss, embracing one another as the minutes ticked by, their little game long forgotten.

Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

[stumbling-while-balancing]

Fics will be posted tonight! - I say as I posted on AO3 and not here. Sorry y'all.

 What Do You Think We Do Together?

by stumbling-while-balancing

Pairing: Sheith (Shiro/Keith)

Warning for Daddy Kink

Rating: light R for mild (hinted) smut

***

Really, Keith would forever insist on when questioned later, it was all Lance’s fault.

When questioned either bemusedly or with horrified tones (depending on the asker) how exactly Keith regularly calling Shiro ‘Daddy’ was Lance’s fault, Keith’s answer was always the same.

Lance didn’t know how to not be nosy about his friend’s love lives until Keith.

****

Lance… Lance was definitely the first to find out, at least.

“So what do you even do with the guy, anyway?” Lance asked, rolling over from where he had been sprawled on the floor in boredom after joining Keith to avoid Coran’s ‘Chores for idle hands!’ routine. “I mean, Shiro’s great, but neither of you are really ‘let’s get the party started!’ types, are you? Do you two even know how to have fun when you’re together? I mean, maybe Shiro does, but you, man… No offense, but you’re kind of a fun killer.”

“And yet,” Keith said offhandedly as he continued rubbing the polish over his Lion’s left paw, steadfastly remaining silent to his diva Lion’s ‘make sure I look pretty cub! Get this spot!’ requests even as he carried through with them, “You sought me out and are now bugging me. Why is that?”

“I have about as bad a taste in friends as Shiro does in boyfriends, I guess.” Lance snarked back, now too well used to his and Keith’s odd brand of friendship to be truly offended with Keith’s words, “But seriously, man, you guys disappear all the frickin’ time when you’re not needed for team training or plans for the Coalition. Where the hell do you even go? What do you do?”

Keith was silent as he focused particularly hard on a dull spot on Red.

“You really don’t want to know, Lance.” He warned finally.

“Uh, I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want to know.” Lance huffed, “You know that I will eventually find out, right? One of these days I’m going to find a way to sneak past your freaky Galra senses and follow you! Try to keep me from knowing your secrets then!”

Keith continued to be silent as he debated the pros and cons of just telling Lance what he and Shiro got up to. It would be better than him seeing it firsthand, surely?

Exactly on time, Shiro called in to the room from outside the doorway, “Hey babe, Allura and I are done tweaking the plan for dealing with the Auxians. Think you’ll be ready to meet me in the common room in fifteen?”

With that, Keith’s decision was made, and he barely managed to keep himself from breaking into hysterical laughter as he called back, “No, I’m pretty much done here now, Daddy. I’ll come with you.”

The look on Lance’s face as he realized....

Keith would treasure it forever.

Smiling brightly at Lance, Keith murmured, “No secrets here.” Before stacking his polishing tools neatly beside Red and turning to walk out of the hanger to the sounds of Lance’s choked splutters.

***

Hunk… Hunk was probably the one that Keith felt guiltiest about.

Probably because he was one of the only ones that didn’t really deserve to be traumatized. It’s hardly as if he had been trying to be annoying or overbearing, he just had an inner need to make sure the people around him were well-fed and healthy. After Kolivan had offhandedly commented that Keith didn’t eat nearly enough for a Galra, even someone half-Galra, Hunk had made it his mission to make sure that Keith ate more.

So Keith didn’t entirely blame Hunk, especially since it was kind of nice to have a friend care so much about him. (Also because he knew that Hunk and Shiro had had a discussion with Kolivan about healthy Galra eating habits before going on this ‘make Keith eat more food’ spree.)

But when it happened, Keith had been tired, already nearly overly full, and fed up with being watched like a hawk as he ate.

So really, it had been meant as a punishment for both Hunk and Shiro, when he fixed a smile on his face and looked right at Hunk while Shiro (the #1 enabler of Hunk’s ‘feed Keith more’ plan) moved yet another portion onto his plate.

“See what I mean about you not needing to worry about my eating habits, Hunk? My Daddy makes sure I get plenty to eat.”

He smiled with false brightness at Shiro’s frozen form and Hunk’s jaw-dropped astonishment while pushing himself away from the table and saying in a deliberately childish tone, “But I’m really hungry for some special desert now, Daddy. Let’s go to bed!”

He sashayed away to the sounds of Hunks traumatized garbling and the beginning of Shiro trying to talk Hunk back into functioning human being form.

He was going to get spanked so hard tonight.

Still.

Worth it.

***

Pidge… Pidge he didn’t even really mean to bother.

Truly though, he wasn’t even really trying to particularly traumatize her when he said it. He had been assisting Pidge while she made adjustments on one of the Coalition’s ships (basically just being a grunt that lifted and fetched things when she asked), and they had already been engaged in their typical banter when it happened.

“Awwww,” Pidge said teasingly as Keith grunted and rubbed his shoulder after setting one of the larger pieces of the ship down beside her, “Is the poor baby boy tired already? Do you need me to fetch you a blankie so you can take a nap?”

Keith had registered the mild concern in her voice, and so shrugged and said unthinkingly, “No, just a little sore from when Daddy tied me up over Red’s console earlier. I’ll just get him to massage it later.”

He only realized what he had said when Pidge dropped the wrench in her hand and stared at him with horrified eyes. “That’s what you two were doing when I needed to talk with you about updates for the Red Lion? I thought you were going over battle techniques! I sat outside the Red Lion’s particle barrier for over two hours waiting for you to get done!”

Keith blushed and bristled simultaneously, “You got there after we had already gotten started! We didn’t even know you were there until we left Red!”

But Pidge had already grabbed her wrench from the floor and turned back to the ship, muttering grumpily, “I will have my revenge for this. You bet your ass I will.”

***

Coran… Coran was just a mistake.

It was during a minor repair to the ship, Shiro, Allura, Hunk, and Lance outside the ship while Keith, Pidge, and Coran kept an eye on the monitors inside the ship to make sure that the fixes were completed successfully.

Shiro had just commed in asking Keith to let him know if the gages rose beyond the needed level, and, well…. Keith had been saying it in public so often lately that the “Okay, Daddy.” had just slipped out.

At first, Keith barely even realized the mistake he had made, because Coran waited until the team outside was finished with the repairs and had shut the comm link off to turn to Keith with a furrowed brow and deeply puzzled frown, “I… Keith, Shiro is your father?”

Keith choked on his spit, before hurrying to correct the wrong, very wrong impression he had unwittingly given Coran, “No! No, he’s not my father, it’s just-“ Keith abruptly stopped talking when his desperate eyes caught sight of Pidge.

And the look on her face.

Keith did not like the look on Pidge’s face. That was her evilest gremlin look, the bitch-you-thought-I-wouldn’t-go-into-your-house-and-set-fire-to-all-the-things-you-love-for-revenge?-You-thought?->:D look.

It did not imply good things for Keith’s future.

“It’s a sex thing,” Pidge practically shouted at the opening with quick evil gleefulness, validating every unkind thought that Keith had ever had of her.

Coran tilted his head to the side in confusion, “A sex thing…?” He asked before abruptly brightening, “Ah, human procreation! I have been wondering about it. I’m so glad you feel comfortable enough to bring it up around me! I’ve been so curious.”

Keith blanched, “Coran, I really don’t think you’ll find it interest-“

“No,” Coran insisted as he pushed his face closer to Keith’s rapidly paling countenance, “This is fascinating. How exactly does it help during sexual intercourse? Does calling their sexual partner ‘Daddy’ in bed assist humans in the act of procreation in some way? Is acknowledging their mate as a good potential sire a psychological code to get the receiving partner’s body ready to bear offspring?”

Keith regretted every fucking choice he had ever made to get him to a point in his life where he was going to have to explain daddy kink to Coran.

…

He came so close to just sprinting to the nearest airlock and jettisoning himself into space without his armor that day.

***

Allura… Allura technically wasn’t his fault at all.

She managed to corner him in the hallway while he was heading back to his and Shiro’s room after using one of the mainframes Pidge had coded to display English to try to find out if there were any creatures similar to hippos in the nearby universe. (And if the world containing said creatures just happened to need saving.) He was pretty pleased with the results and had been planning the perfect way to bring it up to the team when she stopped him.

So he really wasn’t fucking ready when she placed a soft hand on his shoulder and regarded him with deeply sympathetic eyes.

“Keith, Coran just shared something with me, and I hope you don’t get upset with him telling me something so personal, but I really am glad that he did. Keith, I had no idea you missed your father so much, I completely under-“

Keith froze as he felt his soul being slowly dragged from his body into the deepest pits of hell, before abruptly jerking back and turning around as fast as he could, “No.” he spat desperately, “Just, no.” before sprinting as fast as he could to Red. A few quick practice flights in the emptiness of space would do them both good.

***

Shiro… Shiro was the one that made him the most nervous. Shiro was everything to Keith, and Keith just wanted him to know how much Keith valued what Shiro was to him.

Keith shuddered in overstimulation and endorphins as he came down from his high. He felt his Daddy running soothing, caring hands down his skin, soft words of praise and adoration falling from his Daddy’s lips. He finally arched up and used a shaking hand to drag his Daddy’s head down to his, pulling him into a deep kiss as he arched up against his body. They stayed that way for minutes (hours? days?) trading alternatively hot and deep and sweet and gentle kisses until Shiro finally got up from the bed to get a wet cloth to wipe Keith down with.

Once that was done, Shiro collapsed onto the bed and pulled Keith close, wrapping his strong arms around him and pressing tender kisses into his hair.

Keith sighed contentedly and pressed himself deeper into Shiro’s embrace. But despite the complete contentment that was trying to surround him, there was one thing that kept bothering him at the back of his mind.

“Shiro, are you sure you don’t mind? That the rest of the team knows that you’re my Daddy?” he asked, an uncommon vulnerability softening his voice. It may have started off as a way to taunt some members of the team, but a deep part of Keith was glad that he didn’t have to hide what Shiro was to him anymore. How important Shiro was. How vital.

Shiro pressed a slightly firmer kiss to Keith’s shoulder before rubbing his side comfortingly, “Hey, I told you- I’m never going to be ashamed of being your Daddy or you acknowledging that. They are grown adults, and if they can fight the Galra, they can put up with having a little too much information about their teammate’s sex life. It’s hardly as if they haven’t shared a little too much information themselves at times. The only time I got annoyed was when you used it to bother Hunk rather than just explaining you didn’t need that much food, and I forgave you for that almost as soon as you did it.”

Keith nodded, finally able to relax into contentment’s embrace, just as he did the embrace of the man that was the cause of said contentment.

He really did have the best Daddy.

[expressandadmirable]

The Greatest

(Response to the “ ♦: Slow dancing ” prompt from @stufflaalikes, dovetailing nicely with another piece I had planned to write)

Lux had never been particularly good at doing nothing. Her hands and mind wandered too easily for quiet meditation or keeping a thorough watch. What she did excel at, however, was keeping busy, which had proven to be a surprisingly useful skill on their journey. For every hour spent exploring a sewer or a tower or doing battle with the forces of darkness, there were three times as many spent lounging on the deck of the Platinum Dawn, and each Hero of Light had developed their own ways to pass the time. Morgan tinkered in the cabin she had turned into a workshop, building a clockwork pig that trotted about while she built smaller toys. Wilhelm read or chatted with Osaid for as long as he could follow the wizard’s meandering conversations. Maergrahn meditated or swam or sparred with Grummer and Feldon. Sol joined them on occasion, when she wasn't feeling ill (though given how unsettlingly calm the sea had been the past few weeks, Lux was beginning to think her dajyr’s seasickness was at least partially psychosomatic). For her own part, when none of her smaller projects or activities appealed to her, Lux was always content to play.

With three discrete instruments and magical accompaniment at her disposal, she found herself revisiting music she had learned in her youth. Song by song, she deconstructed rhythms and rebuilt harmonies to create complex compositions that were still recogniseable, yet entirely her own. Once she had committed the new pieces to memory, she released them with magic as she had seen Mourat do so many times, providing her own illusory orchestra as she played the melody on violin or lute. The Old Man would be proud.

When Sol was wakeful, Lux practiced her craft in or near their little topside tent; if the Drow needed to nap through another wave of nausea, she took to wandering. The ship’s high stern allowed her to drift her notes out to sea, though it also provided a stunning view of the sunset in the evenings, and she often found Morgan or Grummer enjoying the fading colours when she mounted the curved wooden steps. None of her companions seemed to mind the music floating in their direction, but she was mindful nonetheless, never approaching closely unless they seemed particularly receptive. More often than not, she simply opted for an unoccupied section of deck and played to her heart’s content.

Day four of the voyage from Melmond to Crescent Lake passed without much fanfare. Dinner that evening was hearty and heavily spiced, another recipe Grummer had brought with him from his time in the desert. Sol returned immediately to the tent to ensure the meal remained within; the rest of the party dispersed from the galley shortly after. Retrieving her violin and a bottle half full of bourbon from their rarely-used cabin, Lux selected an open spot towards the bow to serve as her dusky stage. She finished her cigarette, unstoppered the alcohol, set her instrument under her chin and turned the delicate pegs.

She started aimlessly, letting the notes form into what they would, and she soon found herself remembering one of the first court dances Mourat ever taught her. She had always thought them to be rather ridiculous and endlessly stuffy, but the tune was comfortingly familiar, and as it rippled from her bow, she began to move through the steps of the dance. Slow at first, then faster, the footwork becoming smaller and more energetic as the tempo increased. She closed her eyes, letting the memories dictate her steps, and they came to her as easily as breathing. With a final flourish and a deep bow to her invisible partner, she let the violin fade into silence.

Startled her from her reverie by the sound of delighted applause, Lux turned to find Morgan and Wilhelm sitting cross-legged on the deck. Morgan had been watching with rapt attention, while Wil had helped himself to some of her bourbon. Bottle in hand, he pointed to the Tiefling. “I know that one. Has some really self-explanatory name like Paired Palm-Up Royal Dance, right?”

“That's the one.” Lux nodded. “Though I imagine it doesn't look quite the same without the palms up.”

“I liked the foot parts! They were so graceful!” Morgan chirped. She looked at Wil, her head cocked. “Do you know how to dance too?”

“Of course,” the Half-Elf responded, puffing almost visibly. The world’s smallest dragon. “It was part of standard Academy education. Had to know all the etiquette to be a proper society man.” Always slightly more at ease with a bit of booze in him, Wil gestured broadly. “We learned every dance the Cornerian court had to offer.”

Lux lifted one violet brow. “Is that so? Do you remember all the steps, too?” Approaching from their tent, a freshly-conscious Sol smirked at the Tiefling’s obvious goading. She eased onto the deck a few paces behind Morgan and leaned back against a large coil of rope, settling in to watch the exchange.

Wil scoffed. “Do I! I'm hurt you would even ask. I remember all my Academy lessons, regardless of subject.”

“Get on up, then. Let's go.” Setting her violin and bow in their open case, Lux presented her hand.

Realising the trap he had just walked into but entirely too full of himself to back down, Wil tugged on his goatee, took another swig of bourbon and accepted Lux’s hand. A slight swish of the Tiefling’s fingers brought the ghostly music to life and Wil sketched an elaborate bow, surprisingly steady on his feet given his impending intoxication. Lux grinned and dipped into a curtsy, her tail extending behind her like a skirt train. They straightened, stepped together, lifted their palms, and they were off.

True to his word, Wilhelm did indeed know every step, displaying a confident grace that only appeared in his least cognizant moments. They whirled and hopped in perfect time, each of their smiles broadening and finally breaking into breathless laughter. When the song concluded and they bowed again, Morgan burst into furious clapping. “Do another one, oh please do another!”

Pausing to catch her breath, Lux made a show of examining her dance partner with narrowed eyes. “Alright, Academy boy. Cornerian Maiden’s Dance?”

“One of the first ones I learned!” Wil retorted, snapping into position and offering his hand in a most gentlemanly fashion. Replying with the standard curtsy, Lux placed her fingertips on his and conjured the music. Her role in the dance was slightly less demure than in the previous demonstration, playing the role of the coquettish pursued as Wil played the pursuer, though it was still a formal court piece by her tavern-loving standards. They separated, passed, passed again, rejoined. Traditionally performed in groups of four, the Half-Elf was not to be fooled, modifying his steps along with Lux’s to become a pair instead of a quartet. As much as she tried to toy with him, he truly knew his part.

Lux nodded approvingly as the dance concluded. “I’m impressed! Let it ne’er be said you wasted your proper education, Doctor. But enough choreography, I think. Tell me: do you waltz?”

“Pravokan or Cornerian?” came the unhesitating reply.

“Leader’s choice, then!” Lux smirked, feeling her stage persona slipping over her like a perfectly fitted, glittering jacket. She missed performing. For her friends and her love, she was Aviva, singing from the heart, raw and vulnerable in her truth. Lux had come into being as a form of protection, but she had forgotten just how fun it could be.

Clearly enjoying himself as much as she, Wil pondered for a moment. “Pravokan. More showy.” Morgan squealed with childlike joy as Half-Elf and Tiefling squared into position and the lilting music began. Despite Lux’s height, Wil made a fine partner, stepping almost on tiptoe to allow her enough headroom when he spun her. They turned and turned, rigid yet flowing, matching each other’s showmanship with ever more fanciful embellishments. He was a clever one indeed.

When this, too, concluded, Morgan’s eyes were wide. “You looked like two flowers on the surface of a pond!” From behind her, Sol chuckled softly. “I mean it!” she continued, explaining with her hands. “When the spring blossoms fall from the trees, they flutter and spin down to the water and the petals spread and keep them spinning. That’s what you looked like! I’d love to dance like that,” she concluded wistfully.

“I’d be happy to teach you, in just a moment.” Lux crouched before the Gnome, who nodded emphatically. “First,” she continued, with a sly glance up at Wil, “I have to see if our good Academy graduate knows how to paso doble.”

“What’s that?” Morgan asked, noting the slight blanching in Wilhelm’s cheeks. “Is it a hard one?”

“It’s not a dance for beginners, that’s for certain.” Peeking innocently at her dance partner, Lux rested her elbows on her knees and her chin on her knuckles. “Well, Doc?”

Wil folded his arms with a huff, thinking very hard. Then he uncurled, seized the bottle of bourbon and gulped down a mouthful. “Well, I can’t quit now.” Striking a barrel-chested pose, he looked pointedly at Lux. “Shall we?”

Lacking a wide-hemmed skirt, Lux gripped the tip of her tail in one hand as she rose to join the Half-Elf. “So we shall.” She held her other arm aloft, flicked her wrist and cast her musical spell. They stalked one another, circling, sensuous, posturing with wide gestures and sweeping legs. When they finally came together it was as if one tiny spark had lit a fire beneath them, the carefully controlled blaze sending them spiralling into dramatic twists and bends. Just when it seemed they would lose themselves completely, the music slowed, then they joined it as it came to its abrupt, climactic end.

Panting as Morgan clapped, Lux beamed. “Nicely done, sir. You do the Academy proud.” Too elated and out of breath to continue playing at arrogance, Wil merely returned her grin. He really could be quite wonderful when he got out of his own way. Lux leaned close and murmured something in his ear, and once he nodded and moved to sit, she turned to the Gnome. “Still want to learn?”

“Yes!” Morgan was already on her feet. “Oh, yes!”

Lux caught Sol’s eye. “How about you, sunshine?”

The Drow shook her head. “I’m fine here, thank you.” But she held Lux’s gaze, and a moment later a voice whispered in the Tiefling’s mind: Maybe later. Lux smiled as she took Morgan’s hand.

Teaching a pupil half her size was no easy task, and it took every technique she had seen Mourat use when instructing children to be able to accomplish it. Morgan did not take to dancing quite as easily as she took to languages, but she learned quickly, following Lux’s footsteps with an artisan’s focus. As they practiced, the last of the sun’s rays disappeared on the horizon and the first stars twinkled to life in their place, the moon moving high overhead.

Finally, Lux tilted her chin. “Don’t look now, but I think you’re ready. Do you feel ready? Want to try it all together with the music?”

“I think so.” Morgan sounded unsure. “Are you going to be okay doing it with me? I know it’s hard with us being so different in size.”

“Thankfully, we have a solution for that,” Lux answered, her eyes sparkling. “Wil?”

Several shots further into the bottle of bourbon, Wil grunted an eldritch incantation. Morgan frowned in confusion, then started at the miniature (though still comparatively tall) Lux standing before her. “You’re me-sized!” Lux winked and started the music.

Though Lux started by counting aloud, Morgan executed the steps she had learned perfectly, and eventually Lux stopped narrating the movements altogether. The Gnome’s smile grew with each passing, twirling measure, and when the music faded, she threw her arms around Lux’s neck, seizing the opportunity to hug her as an equal. “That was wonderful! Thank you!” She released the Tiefling and turned to Wil almost shyly. “And thank you!” Wil winked and shot a fingergun at her in return, the action distracting him enough to forget his spell and send Lux popping back to her original size. Morgan giggled as Lux shook off the momentary dizziness, then she yawned a mighty yawn. “Oh, it’s late. I think I’m going to go to bed.” She smiled again, allowing the sudden onset of drowsiness to take hold. “This was really, really wonderful.”

Lux grinned and bobbed her head. “We’ve got another week before we make landfall. We can practice any time you like.” Sinking to a knee, she gave Morgan a regular-sized embrace. After the Gnome said the rest of her goodnights and retired to her hammock, the Tiefling peered at Wil. “I suspect it’s bedtime for you too, Professor. There are extra jars of pickles in the galley. Don’t eat them all in one go.”

“Now Lux,” Wil slurred, “I can handle myself, I assure you. I’m an accomplished academic with everything that comes with that and oh I think it’s time I put myself to bed.” Lux almost laughed as she watched Wil’s stream of consciousness change course when he saw her expression. He rose, saluted her with the bottle, looked at the bottle, then delicately put it down and shuffled towards the doorway leading below decks.

Sleep tugged at the corners of her own mind as well, but Lux wasn’t willing to let the night end just yet. She looked at her dajyr, still resting against the coil of rope. “Do you waltz, sunshine?”

“Pravokan or Cornerian?” Sol answered with a smirk.

Lux matched the curl in the Drow’s lip, then softened into a smile. “Cornerian. Less showy.” Rising to her feet, she spread her arms wide and waited. Sol pretended to consider, then pushed herself up from the deck and slid her arm around Lux’s waist, comfortably claiming the lead. The Tiefling’s brows rose, as pleased as she was surprised, and cast her spell as she settled her hand into Sol’s.

They moved slowly, fluidly, matching the unhurried steadiness of the magical melody. The stiffness in their frames melted as they danced, drawing them closer, until Sol’s head rested against Lux’s cheek and Lux’s arm snaked over both shoulders. Their footsteps slowed to little more than a sway, never quite stilling, a gradual revolution.

“You dance as beautifully as you sing,” Haluei’en murmured, her breath warm against the hollow of Aviva’s throat. “And you have a rare gift.”

“Calling out self-aggrandising academics?” Her words were saucy, but her voice was gentle.

“Bringing us together.”

Aviva huffed a soft laugh, pressing her nose into the Drow’s white hair, and wove a new song.

[upthenorthmountain]

Disneyland Paris Ride Reviews

Here they are! Reviews or all the rides and shows we experienced. So there’s a few missing that we didn’t do for various reasons, but we hit the majority of what was available to us I think!

DISNEYLAND PARK

 FANTASYLAND

 Sleeping Beauty’s Castle

At Disneyland Paris the castle is Sleeping Beauty’s Castle (Le Château de la Belle au Bois Dormant). There are steps up inside the castle and you can see stained glass windows and tableaux with the scenes from Sleeping Beauty, and also step out onto the balcony to see the view over Fantasyland. There is a dragon under the castle - if you walk up from Main Street and head round to the left of the castle, not over the bridge, you will see the sign for La Tanière du Dragon. There is also a shop inside the castle selling jewellery and crystal, and sometimes you can watch someone making glass roses.

The nighttime show, Illuminations, is mainly projected onto the front of the castle. It starts at park closing - currently 11pm - and it’s a good idea to take your place at least an hour before. There is a lot of projection, also fireworks and fountains, and as we left the park afterwards Mickey Mouse was standing on the balcony of the Main Street railway station waving and wishing everyone goodnight, which was a lovely touch.

 Royal Castle Stage

This is to the right of the castle, coming from Main Street, and there are currently two shows using it - Joyeux Anniversaire Disneyland Paris in the morning/lunchtime, and the Starlit Princess Waltz in the afternoon/evening. Both shows are mixed French and English. The first has a cast of different characters and they do a birthday song and one with sections for each of the lands in the park. The princess show features eight princesses, who dance, then their princes come on and they all dance together, because Disney knows how to give the people what they want. There are a few stone benches but you’ll need to get there fairly early to get one; otherwise you’ll end up sitting on the floor but Disneyland has the cleanest floors I’ve ever seen so whatever.

 Blanche-Neige et les Sept Nains (Snow White and the seven dwarves) 

This is a Snow White dark ride, which sounds lovely! But two years ago when I took a four year-old and a six year-old on it, by halfway through I was hugging them both and saying ‘I'm sorry, I'm sorry, just close your eyes, I'm sorry’ because they were fucking terrified. It opens with happy dwarves and woodland creatures, but then immediately heads into the dark woods, with scary trees lunging at you and the witch constantly appearing and a dungeon full of skeletons, one of which jumps right at you. Then a brief scene of Snow White and the Prince waving at you, then the ride is over and you have to stop everyone crying. You think I am exaggerating. I am not. What the hell were they playing at. Worse than the Phantom Manor because at least you expect that to be scary.

 Les Voyages de Pinocchio 

Now this is more the thing! A traditional dark ride, scenes from Pinocchio, jolly good stuff. Boys turning into donkeys, being eaten by a whale, just what you'd expect. Not that exciting but it is nice in a traditional sort of way

 Le Carrousel de Lancelot 

The first time we went to DLP as a family was in 2014, and we were only there one night and didn't have time to do everything. Several times we walked past this lovely carousel and I told the girls we'd do it later, but we never got round to it. When we returned in 2015 I said we'd go on the carousel first, marched straight into Fantasyland and it was surrounded by hoardings as it was being renovated. But this time! We went on it! First of all! And it was lovely. A lovely carousel with lots of horses that go up and down, as carousel horses should, I can’t stand it when you go on a carousel and your horse doesn’t even fucking move, but it’s okay because Disney understands me.

 Peter Pan’s Flight 

Another dark ride but you ride in a flying pirate ship, out of the nursery and over London to Neverland. Newly renovated and much more colourful and sparkly. Flying in a boat makes it that much more fun, until the ride breaks down, and everyone has to be evacuated, and you’re ten feet above Neverland and cast members have to help you down with ladders, and today it was warm so you wore a skirt, and your six-year-old was so very brave so you have to be brave too even though it is Surprisingly High. Walking back through the closed ride was awesome though and we rode the ride several other times without incident.

 Disneyland Railroad

Steam train that takes you round the park. We only went halfway on it on this trip, from Fantasyland through Discoveryland to Main Street, which is cool because you go through the top of It’s A Small World and you can wave at the boats; I think the other side through Frontierland has a Grand Canton tableau thing but I forget. The main problem is that if they only have one train on you can wait up to half an hour for it to come round again.

  Meet Mickey Mouse 

Here is where you can meet Mickey Mouse, all day, because why not. And they will take your picture. Does what it says on the tin. Can be quite a long queue but you’re inside and can watch cartoons on a big screen.

  Dumbo the Flying Elephant 

You sit in the elephant and there is a lever to make it go up and down. A bit of a slow loader so can build up quite a queue but I think an essential part of the Disney experience. Let the small child accompanying you believe that you get scared when it goes all the way up and it will vastly increase their enjoyment or maybe my daugher is just evil.

  Alice’s Curious Labyrinth 

Alice in Wonderland themed maze in two parts; the first is pretty much a walkthrough, with a few different paths and dead ends but it isn’t really possible to get lost; you run into the Caterpillar and the playing cards painting the roses red and can take a picture. After this section you can exit, or you can enter the Queen of Hearts maze, which is a proper maze, and has a castle in the middle that you can go up. A good arrangement as children are satisfied with the first section without having to risk spending time getting lost and frustrated. Only open during the middle of the day, I’m not sure why; when we were there it opened at 11am and closed at 5pm.

 Mad Hatter’s Tea Cups 

Another Disney classic and the canopy and lanterns are very pretty. You can turn the disc in the middle to make the cup spin faster, possibly while laughing maniacally….guys, I think my youngest daughter might be Slytherin

 Casey Jr - le Petit Train du Cirque (the little circus train)

 This is the circus train from Dumbo, and it shares space with the Fairy Tales boat ride; you can wave at the boats as you go round and see some of the scenes and the central castle. These two rides are set a little back from the rest of Fantasyland, behind Alice’s Labyrinth, and they close earlier for some reason (7pm while we were there, the rest of the park not closing until 11pm). This is a good little trainer rollercoaster and it plays the Casey Jr song all the way round, as it should.

 Le Pays des Contes de Fées (the land of fairy tales)

A boat ride past scenes from various fairy tales, some Disney (Beauty and the Beast, Tangled, Aladdin etc), some not (Peter and the Wolf, the Wizard of Oz etc). Nice and relaxing and plenty to look at. Not very exciting though and probably best for little ones.

 It’s a Small World

This is a goddamn classic and no Disney trip is complete without multiple rides, I am not even joking, I think we went on it four times on this trip? And a good time was had BY ALL (the good time is compulsory). This had been newly renovated and looks very shiny but WHY is the ceiling still just tiles? Why is it not painted black? There are even things that draw the eye upwards - kites in China, monkeys in Africa - and then it looks like an office building or something. Paint the ceiling! Black! It would be so easy!

 Princess Pavilion 

This is the place to meet a princess! It had changed a bit from our last visit - then, you queued up before it opened at ten and got a timed ticket to come back and see whichever princess was on duty. This time you just had to wait in the queue, but there was a sign saying which princess you would see, which was good because then we could decide whether to bother. If you have a Priority or Easy Access card you can go in the morning and get a timed ticket but they only have so many so best to go early. We saw Rapunzel one morning and my husband queued with our eldest daughter for two hours to see Aurora in the afternoon, which was 100% worth it because Aurora is her favourite and she hadn’t met her before and we have a photo of her face when she first saw her and I’m tearing up just thinking about it

 DISCOVERYLAND

 Buzz Lightyear Laser Blast 

This is a ride that is also a game! You have a laser gun and you have to shoot the targets with a Z on them to defeat Emperor Zurg. You get points for hitting the targets and it is possible to get very competitive. Every photo from this ride has me frowning in concentration. I always ride with a child and I always win. Because it’s a continuous loader, they have to stop it every now and again to help someone with reduced mobility, if this happens while you’re on the ride find the closest target and hit it over and over.

 Orbitron

Like the elephants but you ride in a rocket ship that goes up and down. I’m not good with heights and this seems to go very high and not be entirely stable? And you slide from side to side and I’m not super big on it. I’d rather ride the elephants again to be honest. It makes me uncomfortable and whenever I’m on it I just want to get off but other people love it so what do I know

 Videopolis Theatre 

This used to have an awesome Lion King show but now it is the Jedi Training Academy, which we didn’t do, but we did enjoy a performance from the Calidcott Musical Theatre Company while we were eating at the fast food restaurant that’s also in the building so that was nice.

 Star Tours: l’Aventure Continue 

This has all be redone and relaunched and it so much better! Not as rattly, 3D screens, and in theory you get a different ride each time (our first and second rides were different, the third was the beginning of the second with a different ending). It’s all in French which I suppose can’t be helped but did impact our enjoyment a bit. But very slick and I enjoyed it a lot.

 Starport 

We met Darth Vader! That was nice. He was a bit scary but we were brave.

 Hyperspace Mountain

Space Mountain but skinned as a Star Wars ride - I’m not sure if that’s permanent, as a lot of the Jules Verne-esque theming was still in place, but it was fun. The ride now has space battles, big screens with spaceships and lots of lasers and sound effects, pew pew pew. I think at the beginning it says you’re flying to Jakku? But my French isn’t good enough. We didn’t realise until the last day this was open in Extra Magic Hours or might have gone on it more, but did manage six rides between us which was pretty good (I rode with eldest daughter twice, and she rode with my husband twice, youngest daughter not being tall enough to join us).

 Autopia 

Little cars that you drive along the track; there is a steering wheel but you don’t have to steer properly if you’re lazy or six years old. Someone over 1.32m has to control the pedal. You have a little drive through the countryside then you spend ages queuing up to get back to the platform to disembark. Eldest can drive the car herself and loves it, youngest can’t reach the pedal but loves to steer or at least try to.

 ADVENTURELAND

 Pirates of the Caribbean 

Is still closed for refurbishment which is a BIG PILE OF POO. This is youngest’s favourite ride and we couldn’t do it. So it gets ZERO POINTS.

 Indiana Jones and the Temple of Peril 

Mine car rollercoaster, a bit rattly and jerky but good fun, has one 360 loop. Good theming, tucked away right at the back of Adventureland. I think for a few years they ran this backwards? But it’s forwards again now.

 La Passage Enchante d’Aladdin 

A walkthrough with scenes from Aladdin. This was closed on our last visit but this time we all enjoyed going up Aladdin’s Enchanted Passage.

  FRONTIERLAND

 Phantom Manor

This is the Haunted Mansion. A bit hard to follow the story if you don’t speak French, something about a bride? She keeps turning up, certainly. Another Disney classic and I know I shouldn’t keep complaining about the language barrier when I’m the one who willingly went to a foreign country but it does make it not as good as at the American parks, for me.

 Thunder Mesa Riverboat Landing

You can ride the riverboat round Big Thunder Mountain. Pretty slow and not enough seats and we didn’t bother on this trip. There are some tableaux along the side of the lake, mostly on the outside, so stand on that side of the boat if you want to see them.

 Big Thunder Mountain 

Mine cart rollercoaster, has been updated with new scenes including a dynamite blasting section, top stuff. The ride loads on the side of the lake and most of the track is on the island, so you immediately plunge into a pitch-black tunnel before surfacing to climb and go round and round, then back through a black tunnel full of bats to the platforms. Just the kind of thing I like and it’s got even better since our last visit.

  WALT DISNEY STUDIOS

 BACKLOT

 Rock’n’Roller Coaster starring Aerosmith

A rollercoaster in the dark, with loud music and flashing lights. Launch start. Very fast, don’t put your head against the headrest or it’ll get rattled to pieces, I like it but it’s very intense and the theming seems a little bit dated now.

 Moteurs...Action! Stunt Show Spectacular featuring Lightning McQueen

We saw this on our last trip but not this one. Quite long and didn’t seem to know if it wanted to be a stunt show, or a Cars show, or showing film special effects, but good if you like that sort of thing.

 PRODUCTION COURTYARD

 Studio Tram Tours: Behind the Magic

You ride in a tour tram thing and see some props from such blockbuster hits as Dinotopia, Reign of Fire and Pearl Harbour, none of which I’ve seen, has anybody? But there’s a bit where they show special effects with rain and fire and a flood which was quite cool. Sit towards the right of the car if you don’t want to get wet. But it was a hot day so we didn’t mind. Needed more to look at as some parts of the road were empty and that was a bit dull.

 Disney Junior Live on Stage! 

We saw this on our last two trips but not this one as our two are growing out of Disney Junior a bit, and the show badly needs updating. There are alternating French and English shows so check the times.

 TOON STUDIO

 Animagique Theatre

The current show here is Mickey and the Magician. We had to queue for about half an hour before the show but it was well worth it, it was a very good show with live singing, magic tricks, lots of songs and dancing. In general, Mickey speaks French and the other characters speak English, but the plot isn’t complicated and is mainly an excuse to show songs from different Disney films. The theatre is also air-conditioned and has comfortable padded seats which was almost worth the wait by itself.

 Cars Quatre Roues Rallye

Similar to the Teacups, but you’re sat in a Car and they move round each other in a figure-of-eight and you keep thinking you’re going to collide but not quite doing it. In theory each car seats four but my husband and I are average-sized and only just fit side-by-side in the back row of the car. Good fun though and doesn’t make you as dizzy as the teacups, not me anyway.

 Crush’s Coaster 

This is AWESOME and probably my favourite from this trip. The rollercoaster car is shaped like a turtle shell, with two seats facing forward and two back, but once you get into the rollercoaster section it spins so you’re facing forward, backward, this way and that way. Starting off forwards you see more of the shark, starting off backwards you see the jellyfish better, but it doesn’t matter once you get past the first few scenes and into the East Australian Current, which is a dark rollercoaster section with spinning lights and occasional turtles. Smooth except for when it rights you at the end which can be a bit jarring. Top stuff.

 Les Tapis Volants - Flying Carpets Over Agrabah 

The thing about this ride, which is like the elephants again but with flying carpets, is that it should clearly be in Adventureland in the main park, which has a big area themed for Aladdin, but I’d guess there isn’t room for it, so it’s in the Studios park, with the genie there and supposed to be directing a film? It doesn’t make a lot of sense. The ride itself is good though, smooth and quite fast. Nice breeze on a hot day.

 Art of Disney Animation 

This building currently has an area where you can meet Belle - don’t believe the times in the programme, she was here all day, with a long queue (again, if you have a Priority/Easy Access card you can get a timed ticket but get there early as they only have so many). There is also an exhibition of Disney concept art and, my favourite part, an area with little desks shaped like the bottom half of Mickey Mouse and a cast member who teaches you to draw a Disney character. We all drew Stitch. The drawing bit was a nice change of pace and also I got to show off a bit and the cast member said my picture was very good, she really did, no honestly

 Ratatouille: L’Aventure Totalement Toquée de Remy

This was my favourite ride on our last trip and it is still my second-favourite (Crush’s Coaster, which we didn’t ride last time, has just pipped it). You wear 3d glasses and ride in a little rat and it is all very slick and immersive. Half in English and half in French but not much dialogue so it’s easy to follow.

  TOY STORY PLAYLAND

 Toy Soldiers Parachute Drop

You sit under a parachute which goes up, then drops, four times over I think. I didn’t ride this one but I was informed that it is higher than it looks and you have a great view; it feels secure as it drops; and that it is very good.

 Slinky Dog Zigzag Spin

My husband won’t ride this one as it gives him a headache but my head, which can be delicate, doesn’t mind it. The dog goes round and round and a bit up and down. Quite bumpety and you get pushed to the side of the car.

[star-trekkin-across-theuniverse]

@outside-the-government!! Here is your fic! Congratulations again on winning my 100 follow contest, and THANK YOU for playing, and generally being awesome and welcoming. 

Word Count: 1759 Author’s Note: The request was: “Could I please get a fic where reader is Bones' right-hand woman in med bay, the best nurse he's ever worked with. They've been dating for a while. One day, she gets sick or injured somehow and he finds out that while she's fantastic with patients, one drop of her own blood and she's out like a light and he's like WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?!”. This was SO much fun to write. Even the part where I nearly triggered myself fainting thinking about seeing myself bleed my own blood :D

You’d realized Doctor McCoy might be something special about four months after you’d finished nursing school. You were in the middle of dressing down a doctor for a particularly stupid mistake that he was trying to pass off as yours when Bones had walked into the clinic on the Starbase. He’d taken a seat and watched the show, right down to you poking the doctor in the chest with scanner to emphasize your point.

When the doctor in question turned to his undoubted colleague for backup, Bones cocked his eyebrow in that special way that only he could and wanted to know if your accusations were true. That set the doctor into another fit of screaming, and soon he was throwing instruments across the clinic at you. Bones was just about to step between the two of you when you executed a brilliant take-down and put him on the floor, your knee in the centre of his back.

You hadn’t noticed the guy in command gold behind him when he’d entered the clinic, but when Bones turned to him, you realized your life was about to change.

“Her. That’s the nurse I want to replace Chapel.” He’d pointed directly at you.

After an initial rough beginning, and a few squabbles about the pecking order of the MedBay on the Enterprise, you settled into a routine. Bones needed a good nurse on Alpha, and after Chapel had transferred earth-side to complete medical school, he’d been at a loss. There wasn’t another take-no-shit nurse on the ship, and he’d cycled through the entire roster with varying levels of failure. After the first time you put him in his place for asking for a coffee, things started to settle. At first into a cautious peace, but as you became more comfortable with the ship and the MedBay, you found that Leonard’s way of doing things and your way of doing things were often the same way. And that suited you just fine. Jim liked to make jokes about how you’d tamed the bear, but it wasn’t until you’d been shipboard for nearly a year that you realized you had.

You’d been sent on away mission, and come under fire, and when you finally beamed aboard, all in one piece except for some bruising, Bones had grabbed you roughly by the upper arms and admonished you never to terrify him like that again. And then he’d kissed you. You’d been inseparable ever since. You went to work together, you went back to quarters together, you ate together, read together, slept together. You’d been in other relationships where that level of interaction would have felt smothering, but Bones was happy with companionable silences. He enjoyed having one of your feet in his lap, but didn’t need to snuggle all the time. It worked well. And you were, unbelievably, happy.

“How do I set the replicator to make your momma’s dumplings and chicken without onions?” You called across the living space. He looked up from his PADD where he had been researching new methods of treatment for Symbalene Blood Burn.

“I programmed it without onions months ago, sweetheart, just use the regular one,” he replied without looking up. You ordered the meal and padded across to him, draping your arms over the back of the couch to hug him.

“How I know the man really loves me.” You kissed the top of his head. “He remembers the weird allergies and reprograms his replicator for me.”

“Our replicator,” he corrected. “Although you’re making me wonder if you only want me for Momma’s chicken and dumplings.”

“Shit,” you laughed. “You found me out. It has nothing at all to do with how nice you look on my arm, all tall and handsome and doctorly. Or how you always seem to have bourbon stashed somewhere after a bad day. It’s just the chicken and dumplings.”

He laughed and leaned back to kiss your cheek. “All those things are very superficial, darlin’. You said nothing about my goodness, or kindness, and incredible personality.”

“Aw, grumpy bear, are you sad that I’m objectifying you?” You teased. You squealed as he pulled you over the back of the couch into his lap.

“You could objectify me more if you wanted to move this into the bedroom.” His voice was suddenly husky and you got butterflies in your stomach.

“And miss out on chicken and dumplings?” You winked. He rolled his eyes and scooped you up in his arms as he stood. Chicken and dumplings were soon forgotten.

It seemed like the Enterprise could only go a few weeks at a time without some major mishap down in engineering causing mass casualties, and it was apparently that morning. You were back and forth between patients, triaging the worst of the wounded directly to Bones, and then patching up the less injured yourself. It seemed like you’d been on a flat run for hours, and when you looked at the clock, you were amazed to find that Alpha had been over for two hours and you were still running casualties. You looked around MedBay, surprised to see the next shift working just as hard as you.

“Y/N!” You heard Leonard call. You looked up and he was pale, and sweaty, leaning over a young ensign in a red shirt. You ran over to assist and what you saw made you blanch as well. The poor kid’s lower leg was hanging by a single tendon. “I need an amputation kit, stat.”

You rushed off to get it, and assisted Leonard by placing the electromagnetic sterilization field over the kid’s lower half, before helping with Leonard’s scrub. As he prepared himself for the surgery, you administered analgesia, and a nerve block at the femoral. You maneuvered around to stand across from Leonard and took the dead limb when directed. When it was properly removed and Bones was closing up the surgical site, you removed the body part to incineration. When you returned, Leonard nodded at the kid, wordlessly asking you to finish the dressing before moving him over to a recovery bay. You made quick work of the task and sat down to chart, finally noticing a break in the influx of injured.

“You did good, darlin’.” He sat down across from you, and wiped his brow with a surgical rag.

“You okay? You got really pale there,” you asked.

“Nah, I’m fine. A little hungry, I guess,” he shrugged.

“You know it’s okay to be a little squicky about that much blood every once in a while, Leonard,” you smiled. He grinned at you and shook his head.

“I’m not admitting to a weakness to you, woman.”

“I love you more when you get so compassionate about your patients that you get sick,” you teased, and leaned forward to kiss his forehead. “I’ll see you back in quarters?” You rose and pushed away from the table, and caught your hand on the sharp edge of the chair. You shook it, grimacing. The sting in your palm told you it was cut. The moisture told you it was bleeding. You grimaced and squeezed your hand shut.

“You’ve cut yourself, Y/N, lemme take a look at that.” Leonard sprang to his feet and took your hand in his. You looked down, and sure enough, there was blood welling from a cut in the palm of your hand. You swallowed thickly, and dropped yourself into the chair, looking away from the injury. “Sweetheart, are you alright?”

“Yep,” you answered, popping your p for effect. “Just fine.”

“It’s okay to be a little squicky about blood every once in a while, Y/N,” he teased, kissing your forehead. “Here, hold your hand up while I run for the suture kit. I think you need some stitches.” He brought your uninjured hand over to hold the one that was bleeding. You made the mistake of looking at you hand, planning to argue that it didn’t need stitches, and as you took in the small well of blood forming in the hollow of your palm, you drew a deep breath through your nose. There were white starbursts at the edge of your peripheral vision, and a sudden rushing in your ears. You opened your mouth to say something and the white took over, then turned to black.

You came to on the floor, Leonard’s concerned face hovering over you. “Y/N, darlin’, you blacked out. You hit your head on the way down. We’re going to lift you up to a biobed and give you a good assessment, and in the meantime I’m going to sew up this gash in your hand.”

You nodded weakly, starbursts still exploding at the corners of your vision. A tech came and helped lift you up, and the biobed started scanning as Leonard began working on the stitches. Someone brought you a glass of orange juice, and another nurse started an IV, just as a precaution. You could feel the colour flooding back into your cheeks as you became embarrassed of the attention. “Leonard,” you whispered. “Make it stop. I don’t need an IV. I’m fine.”

“You dropped like a sack of potatoes, and it seemed like forever before you roused,” he countered. “If you weren’t feeling well today you should have said something. At the very least you should have -”

“I was feeling fine today.” You cut him off. He furrowed his brow.

“Then what happened?” He asked. You didn’t think you could blush more, but your cheeks burned even brighter.

“I don’t do well with the sight of blood,” you admitted. Leonard laughed.

“In a pig’s eye, you don’t. I thought I was going to topple over that gory mess we amputated and you just took it in stride!” He shook his head, as though it was the most foolish thing he’d ever heard.

“Oh, honey, I have no problems with other people’s blood. I can’t deal with my own,” you admitted, feeling even more ridiculous. He stopped stitching your hand and his hazel eyes locked with your own.

“All of this time together, and I never knew? How did I not know?” He asked.

“I’m not exactly proud of it.” You looked away, tears filling your eyes. Leonard pulled off his bloody gloves, and sat down beside you on the biobed.

“Darlin’, it makes you that much more human. My super nurse, taken down by a drop of her own blood.” He kissed your forehead and pulled you into his arms. “Makes me love you even more.”

[one-of-us-blog]

Mummy on the Orient Express (Doctor Who S08E08)

Today Drew is forced to watch and recap “Mummy on the Orient Express”, the eighth episode of Doctor Who’s eighth series. Clara’s decided it’s time to stop traveling with the Doctor, so he decides to take her on an outer space train ride as a last hurrah together. The ever-growing pile of dead bodies and the mysterious mummy stalking around won’t get in the way of that, right?

Keep reading to find out…

Eli, you enjoying “Mary Had a Little Lamb” so much made me as happy as Rose when she found out Dorothy had whipped out a St. Olaf story! That’s one of my favorite moments of the show, and I’m glad you liked it, too. I agree that the Blanche/Merrill drama was a lot of fun, and that the Mary storyline didn’t quite feel as fleshed out as it should have been. To me this has always felt a bit like a backdoor pilot to a Mary-centric show (much like “Empty Nest” [shudder]), what with all the new characters being thrown at us. I don’t know if that was ever the intention, but either way I agree that it didn’t have the impact it feels like it should have. For now, though, we’ve got a train to catch!

Buttocks tight!

Episode directed by Paul Wilmshurst and written by Jamie Mathieson

We’re on a train and there’s a mummy creeping around. The Doctor’s voice starts a timer, and over the next sixty-six seconds the mummy approaches an older woman. She seems to be the only one who can see the monster, and despite her calling out to her granddaughter and everyone else around her the mummy makes its way to her, grabs her head and kills her as the timer reaches zero. The granddaughter calls for a doctor, and we see that this train, the Orient Express, is flying through space.

After the credits, the TARDIS lands in the Orient Express and Clara, decked out in flapper-esque garb, joins the Doctor in the train. The Doctor explains this is a painstaking recreation of the original Orient Express, only, you know, in space. Apparently we’re still pretending that Clara’s going to stop traveling with him any time soon, as the Doctor is thinking of this as a farewell romp for Oswald. Clara says this is a good way to end their time together, and they take in some space wonders, including a black hole, outside the train windows.

Maisie Pitt, the granddaughter of the woman killed by the mummy a minute ago, overhears the Doctor talking about some nearby planets he visited during his travels and says he couldn’t have visited them because they were destroyed thousands of years ago. She’s really upset about what she perceives as the Doctor’s filthy lies, but the recent death of her grandmother is probably a more likely source of her distraught demeanor. Captain Quell tells Clara and the Doctor about what’s eating Maisie Pitt, specifically the dead grandma and the mummy. Clara and the Doctor decide to investigate, and the Doctor says this will be their last hurrah. Clara’s a little taken aback by this; she was down to stop traveling with the Doctor, but she didn’t realize that would mean that she wouldn’t see him again. Sis needs to talk to Sarah Jane Smith about how often the Doctor catches up with old companions.

That night, the Doctor is talking to himself about the mystery while Clara calls Danny to keep him informed of her activities. The Doctor’s monological dialogue has got his gears turning so he goes to snoop, and he finds out the chair Mrs. Pitt was sitting in when she died has special magical techno-bits in it that should have kept her healthy and alive but obviously didn’t work. A creepy engineer named Perkins tells him that there are rumors of something or someone being responsible for Mrs. Pitt’s death, as well as the deaths of other passengers. Clara does a bit of her own nighttime creeping and runs into Maisie, who’s damned determined to get a look at her late grandmother’s body. She breaks into the train’s makeshift morgue and Clara follows behind her.

The Doctor finds a passenger named Emile Moorhouse, who’s a professor of alien mythology, and asks him what he knows about the Foretold. The Foretold, you see, is a mythical mummy who appears to people who are about to die. Moorhouse says the Foretold is interesting because unlike in other myths, there are very specific rules about how it works. It appears exactly sixty-six seconds before its victims die, and the victims are the only ones who can see it. The victims can’t fight it or even really run from it. At that exact coincidental moment, a member of the kitchen staff dies sixty-six seconds after the Foretold appears to him. Clara and Maisie are stuck in the room where the body’s supposed to be, but it’s not there and the now-broken door has closed behind them. Time for some gal talk!

The Doctor confronts Captain Quell about all the deaths on the train. Quell wants to bury his head in the sand, but the Doctor wants to do something, damn it! Perkins gives the Doctor some information about the people on the train. The Doctor, Perkins and Professor Moorhouse review footage of Mrs. Pitt dying and see that her death fits the sixty-six seconds portion of the Foretold myth, and Moorhouse says there’s nothing they can do to stop the mummy. The Doctor finally calls Clara to involve her in their last hurrah together and he comes to rescue the gals. Or, well, he tries, but screwdriver isn’t working and the computer won’t let him. The sarcophagus which has been in the car with Clara and Maisie this whole time opens, but there’s not a mummy inside. The sixty-six second timer is running down, though, and it turns out a guard in another car is trying to shoot the mummy only he can see. Quell can’t ignore the danger on the train any longer and agrees to let the Doctor investigate. The Doctor addresses the passengers and reveals that they’re all experts on alien mythology, biology and physics. He says someone has specifically brought them all together on this train, and that someone is watching all of this unfold. Just then the engines of the train stop, and the façade of the fancy Orient Express fades away.

The train is actually just a laboratory, and a lot of the people on the train were just holograms. Gus, the computer running the train, tells the scientists that they need to use the equipment in the lab to figure out how the Foretold works and how it can be captured with the goal or reverse engineering its abilities. Gus tells the Doctor that the Foretold is on the train because a special magical scroll was brought aboard the train and that’s what brought the Foretold on the train. The timer starts and the Foretold appears to Moorhouse. The Doctor makes sure the professor knows he’s about to die but keeps pumping him for information about what only he can see. Moorhouse tries to exploit part of the Foretold legend that says you can stop the Foretold by saying the right word or making the right offer, but he doesn’t crack the code in time and is killed. The Doctor gets right the hell over it and tells the scientists to get to work trying to figure out how to capture the Foretold.

Clara calls the Doctor and tells him some stuff she’s found out while not being involved in any of the action. The sarcophagus in the car with her is where they’re supposed to stick the Foretold if they manage to catch it, and there are manifests from other ships that have gone missing. The Orient Express is not the first craft to be used as a testing ground to catch the Foretold. Gus tells the Doctor to get off the phone and he ignores it, so he decompresses the kitchen and kills all the staff as punishment. This gets the Doctor wondering how the Foretold chooses its victims, so he looks over the histories of all the victims and finds out all the victims were physically or mentally ill. The Doctor realizes that the Foretold is picking off the weakest passengers and staff first, and that prompts Quell to confess to the Doctor that he lives with PTSD. Because of this he’s a prime target for the mummy, and the Doctor is positively delighted that the man is about to die because of all the research opportunities it presents.

The Foretold promptly appears and walks right through the Doctor. It teleports around the train to keep within range of Quell, and the teleportation makes the Doctor think there’s tech involved. The Doctor wishes the Foretold would appear to him, because he would hand it its ass in less than sixty-six seconds. Perkins points out how arrogant the Doctor sounds, but in the process the Doctor figures out that the Foretold is using ancient tech to stay alive. It siphons energy from its victims to fill its own reserves, and it takes its victims slightly out of phase with the rest of the train so only they can see it and they can’t get away from it. Perkins says that would take about a minute to accomplish, so it fits with the established pattern. The Doctor notes how clever Perkins is, in case you needed to be more suspicious of him. The scientists figure out that Maisie is going to be the next victim, and the Doctor lets Clara know. He has no illusions about being able to save Maisie and frankly tells Clara so. Clara lies to Maisie about the Doctor being able to save her in order to get her to the car with the scientists so they can observe her death and gather more useless data.

Clara tells the Doctor that she considered putting Maisie in the TARDIS to keep her safe, but there was a forcefield around it. Clara points out that if Gus is keeping the TARDIS under lock and key then he knows what it is, and if he knows what it is then he knows what the Doctor is. The Doctor admits that Gus has been trying to get the Doctor to come on this trip for a long time, and Clara confronts him about knowing this wouldn’t be a relaxing train ride from the start. She tells him this is why she won’t travel with him anymore, because he lied to her and made her a liar in the process. The Foretold appears to Maisie, and suddenly the Doctor remembers that he’s supposed to have some interest in saving people. He uses a magical techy thing to absorb all of Maisie’s grief and trauma and pump it into himself. The Foretold disappears from Maisie’s sight and appears to the Doctor as the timer runs down.

The Doctor figures out that the scroll the Doctor is obsessed with is actually a flag, and that the Foretold is an ancient soldier who was pumped full of technology that’s kept it alive and made it into a killing machine. Its war is over, but the tech inside the Foretold won’t let it die until it hears those magic words Moorhouse tried to figure out before he got iced. The Doctor figures out the words are “we surrender,” and the Foretold lets him live. It becomes visible to everyone in the car, salutes the Doctor and promptly disintegrates. The Doctor tells Gus that they’ve solved the mystery of the Foretold and Gus says he’s going to kill them all now that they don’t have a purpose anymore. Gus depressurizes the car, but the Doctor is able to use the tech in the Foretold to beam everyone into the TARDIS and get away safely. Clara wakes up and the Doctor explains that he tried to hack Gus from inside the TARDIS, which prompted Gus to blow up the train. He tells Clara that he was lying when he made her lie to Maisie and that he always intended to save her but couldn’t risk Gus figuring that out.

Clara’s relieved that he was only pretending to be heartless (heartsless?), but he tells her he wasn’t sure he actually could save Maisie. He couldn’t save Quell or Moorhouse, and if Maisie had died he just would have moved onto the next victim until he’d defeated the Foretold. He says that sometimes you’re faced with bad choices, and you’ve got to choose. Inside the TARDIS Perkins looks around and gives the Doctor some mechanical tips. The Doctor offers to let Perkins stay aboard as the TARDIS’ mechanic, but Perkins turns him down and leaves. Clara asks if he enjoys being faced with impossible choices and if he thinks he’s addicted to it, and he says he doesn’t know because he’s never tried to stop. Clara gets a call from Danny and she tells him she loves him. She lies to the Doctor and says Danny is fine with the idea of her staying on as the Doctor’s companion, even though it was his idea for her to stop in the first place.

Wait, wait, wait… Clara was going to stop traveling in the TARDIS to make Danny happy? Not because that’s what she wanted? Are you shitting me? Was she also going to give up her job so she could stay home and cook his meals and do his laundry for him? I know this is a show about time travel, but how the hell did we end up in the 1950’s?

Jeez Louise.

Anyway, Clara wants to keep traveling with the Doctor so long as he can get her home safely and on time, most likely so she can make Danny think she’s not traveling with him anymore and we can squeeze a little more juice out of this ridiculous double life storyline. The Doctor is ecstatic to have her still in the game, and the two set off into the unknown together.

The End

~~~~~

Remember all the way back in “The Idiot’s Lantern” when the last minute of the episode lowered my opinion of the whole thing? It’s great to know that no matter how much things change, some things stay the same. Clara’s last call with Danny and her subsequent lie to the Doctor made my stomach turn. Look, I was never crazy about the whole ‘impossible girl’ thing because Clara is a grown woman, not a girl, and it’s disrespectful and belittling to infantilize her by referring to her as a girl*. But, with that being said, how the hell did Clara Oswald go from being the Impossible Girl™, someone who helped shape the Doctor’s timeline to the point of making sure he stole the right TARDIS and taught him that fear could help him when he was a child, to someone who has to lie and sneak around solely because she wants to keep the men in her life happy? Why should she have to lie about traveling with the Doctor in order to keep Danny happy? Because Danny wants her to stop traveling? Hey, Clara, sis, to hell with what Danny wants. If the two of them are truly in love like they say they are, Clara shouldn’t feel the need to lie about something that makes her happy and feel fulfilled in order to avoid his disapproval. Why should she have to lie to the Doctor about Danny being okay with her traveling with him? Because… Actually, you know what, I don’t even know what the motivation behind that one was, but it still pisses me off. Clara has gone from being a powerful character whose impact was felt before the first episode of the show even took place to someone who’s so desperate to keep her boyfriend happy that she constructs an elaborate double life. It all feels gross and needless and I just really, really want the Danny plot to be over.

Even putting all that aside, I wasn’t crazy about this episode. I felt like I never knew where the Doctor was coming from or why he was being so absolutely cold and unfeeling as people dropped like flies around him. I know he told Clara it was all a grift to keep Gus off his back, but I just don’t know how much of that I’m willing to buy. It feels like ever since the Twelfth Doctor was introduced the writers have gone out of their way to bring his goodness into question and to establish him as a hero who doesn’t come off as heroic, and that was really driven home in this episode. I was actually kind of intrigued by the Foretold, but the explanation of it at the end felt rushed and forced. Perkins felt like he was being set up as a red herring, but then nothing ever came of it so I didn’t get why he was made out to be quite so creepy.

* As an aside, I know it might seem a little hypocritical for me to be so opposed to the label of ‘girl’ when my favorite show is literally called The Golden Girls, but, I mean, come on. There’s a big difference between a group of older women referring to themselves as girls and a man referring to a young woman as a girl.

I give “Mummy on the Orient Express” QQ on the Five Q Scale.

We’ll see you again on Tuesday when Eli will try to put on a happy face with the next episode of The Golden Girls, “Great Expectations”, and then on Wednesday I’ll post my recap of the next episode of Doctor Who, “Flatline”.

Until then, thanks for reading, thanks for wrapping and thanks for being One of Us!

[one-of-us-blog]

Valentine’s Day (TGG, Season 4, Episode 15)

Today Eli is forced to watch and recap Valentine’s Day, Episode 15 of the fourth season of The Golden Girls.  When the girls find themselves without dates on the most romantic night of the year, will they band together and comfort themselves with cherished memories and friendship, or drown their sorrows in chocolates and ice cream?  Keep reading to find out…

First of all, as usual, let me comment on Jon’s latest Doctor Who write-up.  Cap, you beautiful bastard, you’ve done it again!  I loved your take on Asylum of the Daleks, and it really made me want to rewatch the episode.  As far as Oswin being a super hacker, I think I assumed the idea was that she was able to do so much because she was connected to the Dalek systems all along (as a part of her conversion), but just didn’t realize this.  Anyway, I like that particular twist at the end, and now I’m eager to see what you think about the rest of the season.  Series 7 is a bit different as it was divided up into two halves when broadcast, and that makes it feel almost like two separate chapters in my opinion.  But at any rate, I’ll be looking forward to your next post!  For now, I am running late yet again, so let’s head to Miami!

Buttocks tight!

Episode written by Kathy Speer, Terry Grossman, Barry Fanaro, and Mort Nathan, directed by Terry Hughes

The episode opens on the evening of Valentine’s Day, with Dorothy eating chocolates.  Unfortunately, Sophia has already sampled them.  Dorothy got ditched by her date, and Rose announces that her date has the flu.  Blanche shows some sympathy to her pathetic, dateless friends, at least until her own date calls and cancels.  Blanche does not take this news well, to say the least.  She declares this officially the worst day of her life (which seems a bit hyperbolic, given that her beloved husband is dead), but Sophia assures her that there are worse things that can happen on Valentine’s Day.  Hot damn, it looks like this is a flashback episode!

We leap back in time to Chicago, where Sophia’s husband Sal has been attempting to drive her and her father across the country from Brooklyn to a wedding.  The car has broken down, and Sal is being pelted with insults from his father-in-law.  The local mechanic is unable or unwilling to help out, but he lends Sal his tools while Sophia’s father wanders off in search of a bathroom.  Briefly alone, Sal gives Sophia a box of chocolates that he bought several days prior in anticipation of Valentine’s Day.  What a sweetheart!  The two briefly share a tender moment, until Sophia’s father returns with the sounds of gunfire echoing behind him, the Saint Valentine’s Day Massacre now underway.

Back in the kitchen, Dorothy dismisses the dramatic turn at the end of her mother’s tale, and the girls move on from chocolates to ice cream.  Blanche and Dorothy recall an old grudge, and begin pushing Rose around in retroactive retaliation for a mistake she made last Saint Valentine’s Day.  Let’s take a look, shall we?

Rose, Dorothy, and Blanche arrive at a vacation lodge for a relaxing weekend retreat, and move to the counter to check in.  It is upon discovery that the clerk is nude that the gals realize that Sunny Meadows is a bit unusual.  In fact, the resort is entirely clothing optional.  All of the buses from the lodge have left for the night, so the girls are forced to stay despite their alarmed reaction.  Hiding in their room, they blame Rose for making the reservations.  It doesn’t take long, however, for Blanche to have some fun watching a volleyball game through the bedroom window, and Dorothy and Rose get on board.  Heck, why not throw inhibitions the wind and enjoy themselves?  It’s not like they’re ever going to see these people again!  The girls decide to have a good time, and they strip.  Their confidence wavers quite a bit as they head downstairs to dinner, hiding behind whatever is available, but they eventually burst into the dining room ready to party.  Unfortunately, they stride into a room filled with fully clothed individuals, and learn that guest always dress for dinner.  An insult from a saucy waiter doesn’t exactly help them retain their dignity.

In the present once more, Rose suggests moving on from ice cream to dinner.  Heck, they should go out and have a good time, surely they aren’t the only ones without dates!  Sophia speaks up to mention that she has a hot date with the one and only Julio Iglesias, but nobody believes her.  Meanwhile, Blanche is feeling nostalgic again, and claims that Saint Valentine’s Day is the most romantic day of the year…

Blanche is at a restaurant, having a traditional drink to remember her late husband’s proposal on Valentine’s Day.  She also lends moral support to a young man sitting nearby at a bar, who is also planning to propose that very night.  She tells him that they may come from different generations, but love is love, and she would be happy to share her own experiences with him.  She recounts her husband’s proposal, until the man’s partner, Victor, enters the restaurant.  The two men embrace, and the studio audience laughs.   I mean, can you even imagine?  Thankfully, Blanche still seems to be happy with her good deed.

We briefly step back into the kitchen for Blanche to remember some more Valentine’s Day shenanigans.  This time, the story takes place as the girls were preparing for a cruise, and doing some last minute pre-trip shopping…

The gals are browsing in a small shop in preparation for their time at sea, when Blanche suggests they take along “protection.”  Dorothy has to spell it out for Rose, resulting in her famous shouting declaration of “Condoms, Rose, condoms, condoms, condoms!”  The trio is embarrassed to make their purchase, but Blanche takes control and strides to the counter confidently.  Dorothy and Rose follow suit.  Unfortunately, the clerk takes it upon himself to ask for a price check through the store microphone (on Dorothy and Blanche’s lambskins, and on Rose’s black ultra-sensitive variety).  People all over the store begin to stare.  Blanche again takes charge, grabbing the mic and telling the prudes that she and her squad feels no shame for pursuing passion, and there’s nothing to see.  Dorothy and Rose, meanwhile, have run away.

For our final scene, the girls recall that they never even got to use those condoms, but at least Rose had some water balloon substitutes on the ship.  The doorbell rings, and…surprise, surprise!  All three dates are here after all!  They just wanted to surprise the girls, and will now take them out to dinner (Side note: This twist makes zero sense, as I will explain below, but oh well).  Sophia rushes everyone out of the house, and then lets her own date, Mr. Julio Iglesias, in through the back door.  It’s time for a serenade.

The End.

I have to say, I liked this episode a lot!  It has taken me a while to warm up to the flashback format, but this one was a definite winner.  I think I laughed more at this episode than I have at any for quite a while, and an episode featuring Dorothy’s famous “Condoms!” scene is bound to score big for me.  Some of the plotlines were a little far-fetched in typical sitcom fashion (such as the lodge trip, or the arrival of Julio Iglesias), but I can’t say that I minded much.  The scene with the gay couple seemed like it might be disappointing at first, given that the studio burst into laughter at the very idea of two engaged men, but there was nothing mean-spirited behind the joke, and Blanche was ultimately happy for them and accepting; overall, I think that’s a net positive for the era.  I cannot, however, give this episode a perfect score, because the premise behind the surprise at the end is ludicrous.  Let me get this straight…Dorothy, Rose, and Blanche all had plans for Valentine’s Day dinner with their fellas.  These fellas wanted to have a surprise for their best gals, so they all pretended to cancel their dates.  Then, after letting the girls stew in disappointment for a while, the surprise is revealed: we’re going to dinner!  The very thing you had planned on in the first place!  It’s a pointless surprise, and it only serves to make the girls unhappy for a while.  I’ll take it further; the guys were just assuming that the girls would be dressed, ready, and still waiting to go after the cancellation, and not lounging about sadly in sweatpants (as I would be) or out looking for a better man.  PLUS, now the girls have all consumed a large quantity of chocolates and ice cream before the dinner (which isn’t even really a proper surprise)!  Just give me a second to get over it.  That problem aside, the rest of the episode was spot on, and I give Valentine’s Day a score of 4.5 poofy hairdos out of 5.

Join us tomorrow (or perhaps later today), when Jon will share his recap of (look out!) Dinosaurs on a Spaceship, the next episode of Doctor Who.  I will be back on Friday, with my recap of Two Rode Together, the next episode of The Golden Girls.  Until then, as always, thank you for being a friend, and for being One of Us!